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teyamskxawng · 1 year

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In Heat [II]

Lo'ak Sully x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader

Previously: Chapter I

Keep reading: Chapter III, Chapter IV

The rundown: Tensions rise in the aftermath of your chance encounter with Lo'ak.

Warnings: 18+ content, smut-ish??, language, kiri being mother <3, characters are aged up, minors do not interact!! please

WC: 7.2k

A/N: this chapter is kind of long but it's for the plot!! thanks for reading idk ily :)

That evening, Lo'ak couldn't bring himself to ignore the glaring absence of your presence at dinner. Anxiety set in as his gaze swept across the dining area, well aware that you also skipped lunch that afternoon. Lo’ak’s worry only grew as the meal went on, anchored by the knowledge he had of your unwavering stubbornness.

He knew you well enough to know that you were most likely holed up inside your tent, refusing to leave after what went down earlier that morning, though that was about as far as he let himself dwell on your current condition.

Lo’ak totally understood the reasoning for your deliberate seclusion, but he wasn’t going to let you starve to death inside your home–embarrassed about the situation or not. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, he turned to his sister, hoping to confirm your whereabouts.

"Kiri," he began, trying to sound casual yet failing to suppress the worry in his voice. "Have you seen y/n today?"

All too familiar with her brother's persistent nature, Kiri responded with a less-than-enthusiastic demeanor. Annoyed by his meddling, she pushed him away with an assertive shove to the shoulder.

"No. Why don't you try leaving the poor girl alone for once in your life?"

Despite his sister's snide remark, Lo'ak's determination to find you intensified. His persistence shone through as he continued his inquiry.

"But Kiri, y/n wasn't at dinner or lunch. I don't think she ate anything today."

At that moment, Kiri could no longer feign apathy. Lo'ak's genuine concern had a way of breaking through even her toughest exterior, and she was also admittedly concerned for you, her close friend.

She hesitated, then sighed in resignation, glancing over at the table laden with leftover meat and vegetables from their dinner. "Fine," she relented. "I'll go bring some of the leftovers up to–"

Lo'ak suddenly interrupted Kiri mid-sentence with an impassioned "No!" startling not only himself but also the people eating around them, who shot him a series of curious and bewildered looks.

Despite what he told himself not to think about, Lo'ak's overactive imagination created a vivid image of the state you might be in at the moment. He swallowed thickly around the lump in his throat, pushing the images of you–desperately clinging to his shoulders, head thrown back in pleasure as you cursed and whined and moaned and let yourself unravel on top of him–from his traitorously wandering mind.

When he had the chance to console you earlier in the day, he told himself it was probably just a one-time thing. Just a friend helping a friend come in the heat of the moment, something you'd both silently and mutually agree to forget ever happened.

Still, he knew that he couldn't just avoid you forever. It'd be suspicious. Practically everyone knew how close you two were. And besides, he didn't want to avoid you. He wanted to be the one to check in on you; he felt the protective need to be the one who was there for you during your heat. Just like any good friend with zero feelings attached would. He'd just have to find a way to convince himself about that last part...

Kiri raised a puzzled eyebrow at her brother, silently asking for an explanation.

Fuck. He hadn't actually thought that far. Eager to minimize his obvious blunder, Lo'ak hurriedly attempted to cover his tracks by saying, "I mean, I can bring y/n the food instead. There's something I wanted to ask her. Something about..."

Lo'ak's voice wavered precariously as he scrambled to fabricate a credible excuse for wanting to see you again.

In a last-ditch effort to sound somewhat rational, he finally muttered the first feasible reason that popped into his head: "...it's about our next training session together. You know, warrior stuff."

He attempted to deliver a soothing grin towards his sister, yet in her perspective, Lo’ak merely resembled a brainless banshee.

With an exaggerated roll of her eyes, Kiri gave in to her brother's antics.

"Ugh. Whatever, Lo’ak. So weird," she muttered, a hint of amusement dancing in her expression. Lo'ak heaved a sigh of relief, grateful that she finally relented without digging too deep.

Wasting no time, Lo'ak eagerly hurried over to the serving table. He selected a sizable cassava leaf and began piling a mountainous portion of sari and grilled sturmbeest onto its surface. He folded the leaf around the heap of leftovers, then secured the bundle with twine, tying it into a tight knot.

With the parcel in hand, Lo'ak proceeded to make his exit from the gathering with a quick stride. As he stepped out of the crowded cave, his feet seemed to navigate the pathway toward your tent on their own accord.

Meanwhile, you found yourself cooped up in your home, where you had remained all day ever since your chance encounter with Lo'ak.

Huddled closely by a flickering fire that cast a faint, warm glow over your living space, you distractedly sharpened an impressively long spear with a dull blade.

Your nose suddenly twitched as if betraying you.

You were overwhelmed by the all-too-familiar scent of fragrant herbs, rich musk, a tantalizing sweet spice, and...grilled meat?

Your tail immediately stiffened in recognition. There was no question about it–Lo'ak was unmistakably nearby, and unfortunately, you were still most definitely in the throes of your heat. It was a catastrophe in the making. You must have been cursed by Eywa.

You heard a gentle rap at your tent's flap, followed by the whispered voice of your best friend quietly calling your name.

"y/n?"

Internally cursing your circumstances with every ounce of your being, your legs betrayed you as they involuntarily propelled you to your feet and toward the entrance of your tent. Your treacherous tail swayed in anticipation, giving away your hidden excitement.

With a reluctant move, you untied the fastening on your entryway. You cautiously lifted it open just wide enough to see the figure of Lo'ak shadowed in the darkness outside, a leaf full of what was definitely food cradled in his hands.

At that moment, you realized you had forgotten about the simple yet vital act of nourishment–the process of consuming food essential to sustaining life. Right. Such was the impact of your recent experiences that your thoughts had been entirely consumed by your primal, lust-fueled desires and the tantalizing tease of your fingers against your–

"y/n,"

Lo'ak repeated himself, noticing your lack of response to your own name. His gaze nervously shifted to the spear you held, his free palm lifted in front of him in a show of caution. The palm that held your hips down on his leg, the palm that you had eagerly traced with your tongue, the palm whose fingers were inside of you.

Momentarily lost in your thoughts, you snapped back to reality.

You casually tossed the weapon you'd been sharpening onto a nearby mat, attempting to appear calm and composed and not as though you wanted your best friend to fuck you right there in the entrance of your tent.

"I was just sharpening some of my weapons. Trying to keep myself busy."

The deeper, unspoken motivation behind your actions hung in the air between the two of you. Both you and Lo'ak understood exactly what you were alluding to.

Lo'ak bobbed his head, the two-word response, "Right. Good." escaping his lips.

He noticed your gaze shifting, avoiding his eyes and fixating on the morsel in his hands. Deciding to address the obvious, Lo'ak extended the wrapped meal toward you. "Oh, yeah. It's for you. I saw you weren't at dinner today. Or lunch, since…yeah."

A flood of emotions washed over you; embarrassment and longing mingled together as you briefly shut your eyes. The thought of sitting in the same vicinity as Lo'ak and his entire family after the intimate moment you'd shared just hours prior was too much for you.

"That definitely wasn't happening," you muttered, imagining the impossible task of looking Jake and Neytiri in the eye after what you'd done with their son.

The corner of Lo'ak's lips lifted in amusement, although he earnestly attempted to suppress it. "You have to eat, though," he advised, genuine concern evident in his voice.

You rolled your eyes at his unwavering persistence, yet you undeniably found it kind of heartwarming how deeply he cared about your well-being.

"Yeah. I know," you conceded, slowly nodding your head in agreement while deliberately avoiding meeting his eyes.

However, you were firm in your resolve that you would not accompany Lo'ak to any of his family gatherings over the coming days. You most definitely did not want to immerse yourself in that particular social minefield just yet.

Lo'ak, completely understanding of your situation, quickly tried to come up with a workable compromise that would benefit both of you.

"I can bring you leftovers every day. Until you wanna come back." He again lifted the leaf full of food towards you, emphasizing his offer.

You gratefully accepted the proffered food, inwardly feeling a sense of relief for the extension of generosity. "Yeah, that'd be really nice. Thanks," you expressed.

Though your gratitude carried a deeper sentiment, you remained uncertain if Lo'ak had truly comprehended it within your words.

"I mean, thank you for everything. For dealing with what happened earlier," you added, feeling as though you didn't have to emphasize further to relay your multifaceted appreciation and mortification.

Lo'ak, in response, nodded swiftly, unconsciously wiping his clammy palms on his thighs as he recalled the earlier happenings.

"You're welcome. And, you know, I'm here if you need help tomorrow." He visibly winced at his words, hearing how eager they sounded on his lips "–or anytime! Obviously." He added, then mentally urged himself to stop talking.

You swallowed, your mind racing at the thought of Lo'ak's offer. If it were solely your decision (notwithstanding that it kind of was), you would have seized the chance to beg for his proposed 'help' right at that very instant.

However, you definitely weren't shameless enough to ask for such a favor a second third time within the same day. No way. You'd never recover from that.

You instead nodded your head in affirmation, quietly uttering, "Okay," in agreement. You hated how short you were being with him. It felt so forced and unnatural and it left the both of you struggling to find something, anything to say.

As the tension in the room threatened to build into an awkward silence, you mustered up the courage to break it.

You stated matter-of-factly, "It's getting late. Maybe you should head back."

Lo'ak nodded in agreement, acutely aware that the suggestion was your polite way of kicking him out of your home. The fact that you took care to soften your words instead of outright telling him to get lost spoke volumes.

You desperately craved solitude, and his lingering presence only heightened the discomfort and awkwardness you probably felt.

"Yeah, no. You're right. I'll see you later."

Lo'ak turned to leave, but just as he took his first step, he remembered his earlier promise.

"I'll bring you breakfast in the morning."

The air between you seemed to thicken as Lo'ak held your gaze, his promise heavy with unspoken implications.

Your breath hitched involuntarily as the anticipation of the coming morning filled you with a desperate yearning to be in Lo'ak's company once again, and he hadn't even left yet.

Mustering all your self-control, you managed to choke out a single word.

"Okay."

With a nod, Lo'ak exited your tent.

With an effort bordering on heroic, you forced yourself to close and tie the door's flap shut, leaving you alone amid your darkened room.

Your heart thundered in your chest, and an insistent throbbing began to resonate between your legs as if a second heartbeat had sprung to life within your body. The room seemed electrified with Lo'ak's absence, and all you could do was stand there, unable to move, as the magnitude of your emotions threatened to consume you.

Early the following morning, you were abruptly awoken by the insistent sound of knocking on one of the wooden support beams at the entrance of your tent. As your groggy brain tried to make sense of the intrusion, you were besieged by a throbbing ache that radiated from deep within your core, sending tendrils of searing pain throughout your body.

It was a feeling that you had begrudgingly become accustomed to throughout your heat. Your brain immediately thought of Lo'ak, whom you were expecting to arrive any moment now, bearing the gift of breakfast as he had promised you just the night before.

You searched for that warm, familiar scent of your best friend, but it was nowhere to be found.

Still half-asleep, your thoughts were interrupted by a second wave of thumping, much louder and more insistent than before.

With a hoarse voice that barely managed to scratch out the words, you called out, "One second."

Struggling to shake off the last vestiges of sleep, you scrubbed your hands over your face and forced yourself to rise from your sleeping mat. Not even bothering to spare a thought for your disheveled appearance, you shuffled towards the front of your tent.

With a combination of grogginess and caution, you slowly untied and cracked open the covering of your tent, peering out to see who was responsible for your early morning disruption.

What you found was not the anticipated sight of Lo'ak but, instead, another member of the Sully family. Lo and behold, it was his sister, Kiri.

A look of concern began to form on Kiri's face. Her eyebrows pinched together, and she tried to stretch her neck further to get a better glimpse of what was happening inside your home.

Her eyes quickly scanned your condition, hoping to find an explanation for your sudden disappearance.

Without waiting for an invitation, Kiri pushed the cover open wider and barged inside. She carefully placed the bowl of fruit that she was carrying on a nearby table before turning around to address you.

"Where have you been?!" Kiri exclaimed, scanning the darkened room for any hints of your recent whereabouts.

Having spent countless hours inside your home, she knew her way around the place like the back of her hand. The familiarity made her feel comfortable enough to roll up all of the openings within the tent, allowing the early rays of sunlight to pour in and illuminate every corner. You squinted at the unwelcome onslaught of light, raising a hand up to shield your poor eyes.

"I didn't see you at all yesterday, and then Lo'ak came asking about you at dinner," Kiri continued, still pacing around the room, allowing more sunlight to bathe the tent. "I thought he was just being annoying about you, as usual, but then he—"

Her words trailed off as she finally turned to observe you in the shining sunlight.

Kiri's eyes widened, and she couldn't help but gasp at your state. She hurriedly stepped closer, placing her hand gently on your forehead.

She recoiled in surprise, hissing at the excessive warmth of your sweaty skin. "y/n, you're burning hot!" she shouted, her voice filled with concern.

She batted the hand shielding your eyes away, finally noticing your blown pupils and darkened irises, and a look of realization washed over her face. Kiri, an exceptionally talented apprentice healer, undoubtedly shared some kind of deep bond with Eywa. Her uncanny abilities allowed her to quickly deduce that you were, in fact, in the midst of your very first heat cycle.

"Oh, Eywa! Why didn't you tell me you entered your heat?!" Kiri exclaimed, her voice laden with surprise and concern.

Mortified at being exposed, you felt your cheeks turn purple. You were utterly bewildered as to how Kiri had managed to discern your condition simply by touching your forehead.

Attempting to regain some composure, you responded, "Not exactly the easiest conversation to have, Kiri."

You released an exasperated sigh and grabbed the bowl Kiri had previously set aside, delving into the fruit it contained to divert your attention elsewhere.

Kiri, not one to let the matter slide, marched back to you with determination. Taking your face in her hands, she scrutinized your features, angling your face left and right as if trying to decipher some hidden message written across your skin. You groaned at her steadfast resolve and the way she was handling you like a literal rag-doll.

Kiri's eyes suddenly lit up with recognition.

"Are you kidding me? You're already on day two? You should've come to me sooner! I could've given you a tincture to ease some of the pain! Skxawng." Kiri chided, her voice a mixture of affection and mild frustration.

Relinquishing her hold on your face, she swiftly confiscated the bowl of food from your lap, even snatching away the piece of yovo fruit that you had been on the verge of devouring, held halfway to your mouth.

You hissed, a sound of pure displeasure as your stomach rumbled angrily, reminding you just how hungry you were–way more so than usual. Your hand shot out towards the fruit bowl in Kiri's grasp, only to be thwarted by a swift swat from the girl.

"No way," Kiri scolded, "Yovo fruit has inflammatory properties that'll worsen your pain. I'll get you some fungus soup. It'll help soothe your blood pressure and reduce your body temperature."

With that, Kiri finally let out a sigh, clearly feeling sorry for the pitiful state you found yourself in.

You looked like a train wreck, and Kiri barely held herself back from bursting into laughter at the sight before her. Stifling her giggles, she reached out with a gentle hand to tame the tangled mess of your hair, combing through the disheveled strands before smoothing them out with a warm smile.

"You look like absolute shit, y/n."

You shot your friend a deadpan glare, unimpressed with her remark.

"And you are a terrible person, Kiri."

Kiri shook her head in amusement even as she patted you affectionately on the cheek.

"I think you mean 'your guardian angel.'"

At that, you could no longer suppress your laughter, snorting at her confident proclamation. Despite the jesting tone, deep down, you knew it was true—you didn't know what you would do without Kiri in your life, especially right now.

"So…" Kiri began tentatively, a cautious yet persistent gleam in her eyes instantly putting you on high alert. "How have you been coping with your heat? Aside from the pain, I mean."

You shifted your gaze away from her, murmuring an unconvincing "fine" under your breath.

You abruptly rose from your seat and strode across the room, hoping to distract yourself by reorganizing your already meticulously organized shelves. Your mind wandered as you diligently picked up and inspected each trinket you'd amassed over the years.

Kiri, however, must have harnessed some mystical power because, in what seemed like a blink of an eye, she materialized behind you, curiosity still etched upon her face.

"y/n…" she ventured cautiously, drawing out your name. "We've both grown into strong young women now. We can talk about these things with one another, right?"

You, however, were sure that Kiri wouldn't want to know that it was her very own brother who had aided you through your heat the day prior.

Undaunted by your continued silence and evident reluctance to engage, Kiri maintained her resolve, determined to ensure that you weren't subjecting yourself to additional suffering by deliberately abstaining from the obvious pleasure of release.

"Had you ever touched yourself? I mean, before your heat started."

Your cheeks flushed at Kiri's blunt inquiry, the question hanging between you. You were well aware of the question's implications and knew about the topic before you even entered your heat.

It was unavoidable, really, considering you had spent time socializing with groups of Omatikaya girls over the years. Such conversations would inevitably arise, particularly from the more boy-crazy girls who swooned over the tribe's popular warriors.

As the memories flooded back, you could vividly recall the animated banter and giggles that echoed around you, reminding you of their frivolous nature.

During these chit-chats, you often felt like a fish out of water. You were a warrior-in-training and had grown up alongside the boys that they fawned over–namely Neteyam and Lo'ak. For that reason, your bond with the brothers, as well as with the other warriors, was entirely different.

For you, the warriors were your friends and training companions. All you ever thought about was perfecting your skills, being a better fighter, and proving your mettle to the tribe.

You had nothing against the girls who rambled on about their latest crushes. You actually found it quite interesting. However, you rarely entertained fanciful thoughts about boys for most of your childhood, and you had certainly never acted on any fleeting notions that might have crossed your mind.

Your prolonged silence spoke volumes and seemed to telepathically convey your answer to Kiri. With a gentle grin that almost appeared apologetic, she extended a hand toward you. She tenderly grasped your shoulder, providing a reassuring squeeze.

"That's completely normal, yawne." she soothingly whispered. "You don't need to do anything if it feels uncomfortable. But if you want to, and you do have those urges to relieve yourself, that's also okay. It's all very exploratory—you try things and uncover what you enjoy most."

You couldn't deny the overwhelming wave of affection that washed over you at that moment.

Considering how juvenile your previous response had been when Kiri tried to coax you into discussing your true feelings, you marveled at her unrelenting patience and sincere support throughout your conversation.

It was as if Kiri possessed the calm wisdom of a person thrice her age merged with the loving empathy of a dear friend–a rare and enchanting combination.

The reassuring touch of Kiri's hand, coupled with the warmth in her amber eyes, broke down your mental walls.

In surrender, you nodded, a glint of gratitude sparkling in your gaze. A tender smile danced upon your lips, silently voicing your appreciation for Kiri's unwavering kindness and gentle guidance.

"I'd never actually done anything like that to myself until yesterday," you admitted, laughing at your own naivety.

Kiri tilted her head, amused by your self-deprecating humor.

"You know," Kiri began, mischief dancing in her eyes and voice alike. "Many young women discover the object of their heart's desires during their first heat."

Your breath hitched at the mention of this phenomenon, and the memories rushed back to you, unbidden. You recalled the raw, magnetic attraction that had struck you the moment you'd laid eyes on Lo'ak the previous day. A visceral, almost irrepressible urge had come over you—an unquenchable longing to be close to him, experience him, taste him.

As your distracted expression shifted to one of pure, unbridled longing, Kiri's eyes widened in surprise. Never before had she seen you wear such a mask of desire and want, and she couldn't suppress her shock at the sight.

"What was that look all about?" she blurted, pointing at your face in disbelief.

Trying (and failing) to appear coolheaded, you quickly scrunched up your face and feigned ignorance. "What look?"

Not one to be easily swayed, Kiri stubbornly pointed her finger in front of your face, demanding an explanation.

"That look right there! Don't try to hide it. You so have feelings for someone. Who? You have to tell me!"

Kiri paused to turn away, her face scrunching up in momentary distaste as another thought crossed your mind.

"–but please, spare me the details if it happens to be one of my brothers," she finished, only half-joking. The thought was enough to make her shudder.

The moment you fell into a curious silence, Kiri's ears immediately perked up.

She hastily whirled around to face you, a look of sheer horror etched upon her features. You stood beside her, awkwardly fidgeting with your fingers, face flushed with what you were sure was a deep shade of purple.

"No way," Kiri exclaimed disbelievingly.

Yet, your silence persisted, provoking a deep groan of exasperation from the girl before you.

With a dramatic flourish, Kiri leaped to her feet and paced erratically back and forth within the confines of your tent, throwing her hands into the air in equal parts frustration and hilarity.

"I knew it!" she shouted, pausing her frantic march to face you.

"I've always had this gut feeling right from our childhood! Great Mother... it's so glaringly obvious! Just last night, he was asking about you. That's why he brought you leftovers for–" Kiri abruptly halted mid-sentence, a horrifying revelation dawning upon her.

Her face contorted into an expression of horror as she pieced the puzzle together. Barely able to contain her incredulity, she stammered, "Oh my–Did you two...?"

Open-ended as Kiri's question was, it could have been easily misconstrued. But despite its seemingly limitless possibilities, the question did indeed possess a clear, unspoken intent.

You both exchanged knowing, furtive glances, acutely aware of the answer that loomed unsaid between you.

Mustering every ounce of courage you could find, you spoke up. "It was just one time. Yesterday morning."

Kiri shook her head in disbelief. "So he came back looking for more last night? Eywa, help me. I swear, I'm going to murder my brother with my bare hands."

Immediately, Kiri rose to her feet and began storming towards the entrance of your tent.

"What a skxawng, making a move on you during your first heat when you're at your most vulnerable!" She continued, a look of pure fury dancing in her eyes.

Fearing that Kiri might actually attempt to strangle Lo'ak, you quickly intervened to placate your infuriated friend.

"No! I asked him to! He was actually...gentle and caring about the whole thing."

Your words made Kiri's face twist in disgust for what felt like the hundredth time, utterly repelled by the idea of her brother being 'caring' in the heat of the moment.

You both were suddenly interrupted by yet another knock coming from the entrance to your tent.

This time around, you instantly recognized the distinct aroma of Lo'ak lingering just a few paces away. When he called out your name, you let out a small gasp, your ears perking up and your tail excitedly swinging behind you.

Kiri, witnessing the scene, was nothing short of horrified. Her jaw dropped as her face twisted into an expression of unbridled revulsion.

"Please, please, please tell me you're joking," she muttered, praying that what she had just learned was nothing more than a cruel joke.

You could only manage a shaky exhale, your eyes unwaveringly focused on the front of your tent. Despite Kiri's efforts to maintain a stubborn facade, she couldn't resist chuckling at your love-struck demeanor.

Affectionately, she gave your shoulder a squeeze before rising to her feet and striding with purpose toward the tent's entrance. Lifting the flap open, she revealed a bewildered Lo'ak, who definitely wasn't expecting to see his sister inside your tent.

"I'm leaving," Kiri announced before her brother could even muster a single query about the unfolding situation.

Shoving her way past the dumbfounded boy, she pivoted to face him, a menacing glint in her eyes. "Do not do anything stupid. I will kill you."

Kiri turned to offer you a casual wave, eliciting a feeble, awkwardly returned gesture from you. With that, Kiri exited the tent, abandoning her brother to an anxious silence with you.

Lo'ak lingered in the entryway, his brows furrowed in bewilderment, clutching a platter piled high with the morning's breakfast offerings—a token of his promise from the previous night to bring you something to eat that morning.

In a sudden, rather embarrassing move, you found yourself by his side at the front of the tent too quickly. Desperate to recover from your reflexive reaction to his presence, you hastily took the plate from his hands, stating, "Thanks. Your sister beat you to me, though."

You set the plate on the table carefully, right in the same spot where Kiri's yovo fruit-filled bowl once rested. You wondered if déjà vu was a sign of entering one's heat.

Just then, Lo'ak broke into your thoughts with a hushed "shit."

You glanced up at him, almost sure he had just connected the dots.

"Does she know?" He asked, his eyes widening in fear.

You nodded your head, averting your gaze away from Lo'ak's face. "Kiri is a very smart girl."

Despite your overwhelming embarrassment, you found it nearly impossible to suppress the tiny smile that subtly danced upon your lips. Though maybe that was due to the heart-fluttering closeness you shared with Lo'ak at that very moment. It felt as though every single nerve ending within your body was set ablaze, becoming ultra-sensitive merely from breathing the same air as the boy.

Lo'ak hesitated, lingering awkwardly by your door as if he were a cautious animal, evidently unsure if you would be comfortable with him inside your home.

Perceptive as you were, you quickly caught on to his uncertainty and frantically scrambled to conjure up an excuse for him to stay. "Why the fuck is this so difficult?" you thought to yourself.

Coming up with things to say to Lo'ak should be second nature–this was your best friend. It was never uncomfortable or awkward with him; there was always something to say, something to joke about. You grew up inseparable, forever intertwined with shared experiences and adventures, always ensuring there was never a dreary moment in one another's presence.

"You can come inside, skxawng," you reassured him light-heartedly, hoping to dissolve some of the tension. "I'm not going to bite you."

You silently prayed to Eywa, fervently hoping that you would be able to keep your word.

Lo'ak, to his credit, took your playful jest in stride. He let out an amused snort, his eyes twinkling with mirth as he finally settled into your home. You moved to sit beside the heaping plate of assorted fruits, picking up a ripe, juicy piece and taking a huge bite.

With an encouraging smile, you urged Lo'ak to join you by nodding your head towards the delectable spread.

Lo'ak breathed out a sigh of relief, feeling more at ease as he sat beside you. Nonetheless, he maintained just enough of a respectful distance between you for your comfort–a gesture that did not go unnoticed.

"So," you ventured, striving to keep the conversation flowing and centered around innocuous subjects, steering it clear of your own personal matters. "What do you have planned for the day?"

Lo'ak smiled, thankful that you were making an effort to engage in conversation, because he sure as hell was inept at doing so.

"I have training with Neteyam later this afternoon," Lo'ak replied, his expression taking on a determined glint. "We're supposed to drive a pack of viperwolves further away from the southern boundary. Then I think I might go check out that waterfall—y'know, the one I told you about the other day—with Oa and Teon'i after that."

Lo'ak tilted his head to one side as he thoughtfully chewed on a sweet, tangy piece of fruit plucked from the plate. "And I'll probably be avoiding Kiri for the entire day, so. Wish me luck."

Lo'ak's enthusiasm was contagious as he shared his plans for the day, and you couldn't help the grin that spread across your face. Deep down, a twinge of FOMO tugged at your heartstrings, knowing that you'd be confined to your home for at least the next day or two. You missed the forest, missed being able to hunt and train and make yourself useful to the tribe.

However, you were more than content to live vicariously through Lo'ak's escapades until you recovered and felt like your usual self.

Shaking your head in amusement, you teased, "So, you're taking Oa to a waterfall? Whose brilliant idea was that? We all know he can't swim for shit."

Lo'ak, in the middle of stuffing his face with another piece of fruit, snickered, some of the juice grossly dribbling down his chin. You grimaced, rolling your eyes as you watched him messily wipe it away with the back of his palm. Lo'ak continued talking with his mouth full. "He swears he's a pro swimmer! I already bet Teon'i that Oa would wuss out before we even mount our ikran."

Your face shown in amusement, and you playfully jabbed him in the ribs. "Right. You're one to talk, Mr. Almost-Drowned-In-Waist-Deep-Water."

Lo'ak feigned bewilderment, scoffing in response. "I was practically a baby back then, like, seven years old!"

You shook your head, your voice lilting with suppressed laughter. "Lo'ak, you're such a liar. You were definitely at least thirteen."

Lo'ak tried to press his lips into a thin line, stubbornly shaking his head in disagreement as if he wasn't a whole teenager when he finally learned to swim. His little act lasted all of about two seconds before he joined you in your cackles, knowing deep down that you were right.

"Pxasìk!" he chastised with a wide grin, unable to contain his amusement.

Reaching over, he playfully tugged at the beaded braid that hung among the strands of hair framing your face. Teasing him back, you hissed in response, leaning out of his reach. However, the tickle that raced down your spine from his fleeting touch sent a jolt of surprise and delight through your entire being.

The two of you continued to devour your platter in companionable silence for a while longer, the weight of the unacknowledged emotions in the room growing heavier and more conspicuous with each passing second in which you had nothing else to focus on.

You were hyper-aware of Lo'ak's presence beside you, so much so that you could practically feel the rhythm of his heart thumping in his chest, the faint whoosh of air as he inhaled, the gentle puff as he exhaled.

The intensity of your feelings was overwhelming, and before you even realized it, your leg started to bounce nervously, crisscrossed beneath you.

Your fingers dug into your skin with an anxiety-driven force as you tried to regain control over your emotions. It was only when you became conscious of your tense and irrational actions that you mustered the willpower to force yourself to unwind as best you could, releasing the grip on your legs and restlessly tucking your hair behind your ears with a quiet exhale.

It was Lo'ak who finally shattered the uncomfortable silence that hung in the air. The beads of his braids clashed together as he turned his head, his gaze focused on you.

"I didn't ask before because... well, I don't know why, but. How are you feeling today, with everything?"

You made a valiant attempt at playing it cool, shaking your head nonchalantly and shrugging your shoulders. You weren't sure if your voice could even be trusted to articulate a response.

Clearly dissatisfied with your lackluster reply, Lo'ak scooted his body closer, placing a gentle hand on your arm and tilting his head in a futile attempt to catch your gaze.

"y/n?" he spoke with a tone that skirted on being a scolding. It wasn't a question; in fact, it was quite the opposite. It was a firm demand. He had no intention of letting you avoid confronting the topic at hand. You groaned internally, silently reprimanding yourself for choosing a best friend as stubborn as you were.

You finally spoke up. "Lo'ak, you really don't have to—" but he abruptly cut you off before you could finish your sentence.

"I know I don't have to," Lo'ak interjected, firmly yet gently, punctuating his point with a reassuring squeeze to your arm. "But I want to." His expression turned anguished as he continued, "I barely even fucking slept last night. I couldn't stop thinking about you, if you were okay."

The moment was electric, punctuated by the sharp inhalation of your breath as you felt the weight of Lo'ak's piercing gaze. The intensity was overwhelming, and you found yourself unable to maintain eye contact, your gaze flitting away nervously.

The air between you and Lo'ak was thick with unspoken tension.

Lo'ak bravely let his hand glide slowly, deliberately, up your arm, tracing the outline of your dark stripes, taking his time to caress the curve of your shoulder, and finally continuing to trace the delicate line of your neck. He gently cradled your jaw, his fingers framing the softness of your face.

You automatically nuzzled into his palm, warm and sure–the sole anchor tethering you to reality. His eyes, dark and smoldering, traced over your features, mapped out the intricate patterns created by your bioluminescent freckles before falling to your full, flushed lips—bitten red from your nervous habit. He noticed two small indents on your lower lip, evidence of the slight punctures from your fangs. He inadvertently swiped his tongue over his own lower lip, as if he'd be able to feel the indentations on his own skin

You were so pretty, so soft and pliant under his touch, and it was slowly driving him to the brink of madness.

Almost unconsciously, his thumb began to trace a deliberate journey over the same path his eyes had just taken. Trailing a path over the freckles that painted your cheeks, down the bridge of your nose, across your jaw, all the way down to the jut of your chin.

He gently tugged at your bottom lip with the pad of his thumb, the expression in his eyes daring you to respond.

He knew that he was being too forward, too affectionate, the line between friendship and something more growing increasingly blurry.

There was just something about the way you were looking at him, like he was more than just your stupid friend, more than the second-born son to the olo'eyktan—the screw-up, the freak. You looked at Lo'ak like you were seeing him.

Caught in his enchanting web, you yielded to temptation and softly bit down on his thumb, your body practically thrumming with need under his intense gaze.

Your mind was ablaze with the vivid memory of his hand, slick with your desire and the heady taste of yourself as you eagerly licked him clean.

Lo'ak let a tiny, knowing grin spread across his face, no doubt recalling the same memory. He gently removed his thumb from the warm prison of your teeth, allowing your lip to bounce back to its natural position, and you nearly whined at the loss of contact.

"Thought you said you wouldn't bite," he chided, his warm hand still cupping your jaw.

You narrowed your eyes in confusion at Lo'ak's musings. Your already fuzzy brain desperately scrambled to remember when the fuck you had made such a statement.

Lo'ak's grin widened in full upon seeing your bemused expression, his thumb leisurely tracing little circles on your lower lip.

The gesture was entirely too distracting.

It sent a wave of tingles from the base of your skull all the way down your tailbone. You let your eyes fall shut, unable to stop yourself from folding under his touch.

The moment was suddenly and rather unceremoniously yanked away from you both by the rustling sound of the flap to your tent lifting open. You silently cursed yourself and Lo'ak for forgetting to tie the flap closed, solely blaming his entrancing and all-consuming presence for the oversight.

Right on cue, Kiri strolled into the room, her arms laden with two bulky containers.

Still finding yourselves in a decidedly suspicious position, you and Lo'ak fumbled to create some distance–your combined attempt at seeming casual a spectacular failure.

"Really?" Kiri began with a tone of disbelief, dramatically dropping the containers on the table between the two of you with a loud thud that echoed throughout the tent.

You widened your eyes, blinking rapidly, convinced that you were on the brink of emotional whiplash.

"I leave you two alone for five minutes…." Kiri continued, exasperation evident in her voice as she rubbed her eyes in frustration.

"y/n, yawne," she began with the patience of a saint. "This is the tincture for your pain, and that is your soup."

She pointed at each container as she emphasized their functions with an air of authority, adding, "It should be enough for a couple of days, at the very least."

Kiri then proceeded to give you a set of simple yet vital instructions.

"All you need to do is mix a scoop of the medicine into a bowl of the soup, eat it, and then sleep. And I mean seriously sleep." Pausing for dramatic effect, Kiri shot a piercing glare at Lo'ak, emphasizing the last word, "Alone."

Lo'ak's jaw visibly clenched in retaliation to his sister's nagging authoritative command. Kiri was cursed with the worst timing in the world.

Deep down, Lo'ak knew she was right; you needed food, medicine, and rest to recover properly.

But he just couldn't shake the desire to be by your side every step of the way. He couldn't bear the thought of leaving your side, even for a moment. Lo'ak was so devoted to your well-being that he was ready to throw caution to the wind and abandon his training session, forsake the trip he had planned to the waterfall with his friends, and toss aside any other obligations or engagements that stood in his way, all just to be near you and tend to your needs, to watch the way you melted into his touch, to bask in your presence, so beautiful and soft–

Kiri couldn't help but notice her brother's complete and utter lack of urgency. Lo'ak seemed to have become a statue, frozen in place, as he fixed his gaze on a seemingly unremarkable spot on the floor near the front of the tent.

She decided to snap him out of that particular state by abruptly clearing her throat.

At the unexpected sound, Lo'ak finally tore his gaze away from the floor and found Kiri glaring right back at him, a challenge reflected in her raised eyebrows.

Sighing, Lo'ak closed his eyes for a fleeting moment, gathering every ounce of strength he possessed to restrain himself from cursing out his sister right then and there.

He recognized the futility of resisting Kiri and reluctantly mumbled, "Yeah, okay," before pushing himself off the floor.

As he stood, he managed to make eye contact with you, offering an apologetic glance. You appeared dazed, your eyes glazed over, and your lips slightly parted as if you were perpetually on the verge of saying something.

The tender moment, however, was shattered by Kiri, who decided this was the perfect opportunity to further humiliate her brother.

She grabbed Lo'ak by the ear and began to drag him toward the front door. Wincing in pain and trying to keep up with Kiri's powerful strides, Lo'ak briefly wondered if his sister had somehow acquired super-strength overnight.

As they reached the door, Kiri paused just long enough to call out to you.

"Rest up, y/n," she advised in a caring tone, not forgetting to add a hint of playfulness. She punctuated her words with a warm smile before turning on her heels and leading a pouting Lo'ak out of the little tent.

Taglist: @vanillawhale

Previously: Chapter I

Keep reading: Chapter III, Chapter IV

#teyamskxawng #teyamskxawng’s fics #lo'ak x reader #lo’ak x reader #lo’ak smut #lo'ak smut #avatar the way of water #avatar #avatar 2022 #atwow #lo'ak x y/n #lo’ak x y/n #lo'ak sully #lo’ak #lo'ak fanfiction #avatar fanfiction #james cameron avatar

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dutchwinter · 10 months

Note

top 5 anthony images hehehehe

sigh. me when im in a sending the most difficult ask to answer competition and my opponent is kier franthonyofficial. get ready for THIRTY IMAGES instead of five. because im not choosing. i turned this into less of a favorite images thing and more of an essential images thing. essential to me.

july 21 2019 warped tour. beautiful smile. need i say more

apple store world. bands will walk in there and be beautiful!!!

beautiful face cheerleader moment. you know how it is

its just. it. its just so. its an image yeah.

Well

good dog. for reasons. yk how it is.

this one is some weird main character moment of anthony at a this day forward show. why is he the only one facing the camera

blond. bandana. malamute shirt. mic in his mouth. im in love with him.

um. i havent shared this one to tumblr yet! hes uh. well. its fine. actually. its totally fine.

captioned. brendans daughter giving anthony some needed love. i dont even care though so its fine

just my favorite image of this dress he is very pretty

a screenshot i had that i turned into a post that is sitting in my drafts TO THIS DAY that i will never ever post. captioned "me when i sleep like a gayboy" so basically ive just posted it but. this post is so important to me i had to include it.

the one i refer to as "die" bc i tagged this image that once bc his smile and pretty face piss me off

im in love with him

miss.... maam.....

the babygirlest image of all time. the field image

now this is from the show i became really aware of this guy and its still stuck in my head. princess... hi princess...

i spent 3 hours watching this video it was the worst night of my life this image was the first time i had ever seen anything from it. and its also just. THE woman moment of all time.

mustache moment and big fuckin jacjet moment and beautiful smile moment. idec

this image was my laptop background for a loooonggggg time i just think anthony looks really really nice idk

my show my image. he looked like that in front of my eyeballs. fucked UP.

it doesnt feel right to not include this image!!!!

this is one of the first anthony images i felt really really strongly about like i had a big Moment about this. hes so.....

the famous Eating Him image. when this dropped i went to reblog it over here and i tagged this specific one as "eating him" but this was like. before anyone was really an AnthonyGirl so i was SCARED TO POST IT. and then i never did. it sat in my drafts a while but eventually i either deleted it or got rid of the tag. eating him

puppy angel. hes pretty :^[

i also have not posted this one! lollipop/mic stand #howhedo #younglegstour. yeah

hotbar. whatever. if i SPEAK.

just fell to my knees in walmart/IM GOING TO ANTHONY WORLD. reblogged on march 28 with the tag "im goint to anthony world." and that set off the month of Anthony April and then i never left anthony world. yeah. yeah.

if you really read all of this. hi. how are you. this was a very useless post

#asks #anthony green

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macsimagines · 10 months

Note

If requests are open, perhaps i could maybe request a yandere dad baji who catches his kid sneeking around with a boy? (Sequel to yandere dad baji. Also rlly liked the yandere dad draken hcs and I wanted to see it with baji?)

If they aren't open by the time you ge tto this ask. That is completely fine and I wish you well! ❤️

I forgot I actually did yandere!dad baji before! I can make this one downright horrific. Heads up this is super duper dark. Like probably the darkest one ive done yet. IDK why! I think I got carried away please don't read if you can't handle disturbing content.

TW: Actual Horror, body horror, murder, stalking, unhealthy attachments, emotional and mental abuse, past abuse. Minors DNI

Yandere!Dad Baji

After loosing his wife (victim) he never let you forget how very fragile you really were. As a fear tactic, he made sure to have pictures of your premature infant body, with tubes and IVs coming out of your tiny decerped form, hanging all over the house.

The stark and down right disturbing images contrasting with the gaudy pink flowery frames he had them hanging up in...

Eventually as you grew up you knew something was wrong with your dad. It wasn't normal how protective he was. Other girls at school didn't have to account for every five minutes they were away from the house.

The most freedom you had was walking to the store to retrieve items and Baji would want you recanting the seconds that went by while you were away.

It was the only time you got to see your boyfriend... He knew your dad was over protective and the pair of you had to steal every second you could together.

Until one day your dad showed up at the store expecting to find you there with no trace of you to be found.

He didn't even warn you just tracked you with the app he had on his phone and found you and that piece of shit holding hands on a bench.

Baji doesn't say anything for a few days, but you know something is up with how quiet he is. Your anxiety only spikes when you don't see your boyfriend at school...

Then your dad has you sit down for 'home movies'. The first five minutes are normal things. Like your old birthdays or school events. Then it gets more and more disturbing.

Video footage of you sleeping, some of you walking home oblivious to the fact that you're being recorded. One of you kissing your boyfriend on the cheek. That's when you knew you were screwed, but your Dad just threw a hand over your shoulder and held you close to him.

"Keep watching, Princess. Papa needs to make a point."

The next video is of you as a baby. You never actually saw footage of yourself as a premature infant and for some odd reason watching the slow rise and fall of that decimated form was so horrifying.

The next image makes you want to puke. Its your mother. Dead. On her hospital bed, cut open from a c section. Its the first and only time you've actually seen her in any form. Papa was too sad to have pictures of her lying about...

"I took that one as a reminder. Of what I did." Baji whispers.

You want to ask him why but can't choke out anything more than a sob as you stare at her face. Her dead lifeless face.

The next video makes you want to scream, but Papa has a bruising grip covering your mouth before you can make a squeal. Its a video of your mom. But she's locked in a basement and trapped. Shackled to the wall covered in a rag. Bruises covering her whole body...

You can hear your father's voice in the background. "I just wanted a fucking picture of our fucking Baby," you can hear him growl, "But you had to go and be a little shit about it like always. I don't want to hear you fucking say you don't want our baby again, Bitch! Do I make myself fucking clear!?"

That video ends and you're hyperventilating. How could he? Your sweet kind over protective Papa? And to hear your Mama, the angel that he always described to you hadn't even wanted to give birth to you... After seeing that how could you blame her?

Papa finally lets go of your mouth and hands you another video. One with your boyfriends name on it.

"Why don't you put it on for Papa, Princess?"

#yandere tokyo revengers #yandere baji #yandere baji keisuke

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foggymud · 1 year

Text

WELCOME TO "Raw Ingredients" ep.1!! the game show where we take ur fav cookie. And dive deep too figure out what swims beneath the calm waters of the lotus paradise

today we have the newest adition to oven break, thats right the one the only the cutie!POND DINO!! or pondy for short!

So where to start? Lets see....well for one pondy isn't what they seam,there not a gummy dinosour like the ones we've seen before! They are actualy inspierd by the forget-me-not [or fmn if i ever refer to it again] flower! The name was changed in traslación for what ive heard leading too pond dino to be what we know them as!

Pond dino is also one of the few cookies with the slit eye design! While not exclusive to dragons this trait is ussualy shared among them excluding lychee [wich May play into there potencialy sucubus inspierd design, next ri might be on em ectualy]

wich further reinforces there relevance to the dragon story! And longan there self says that pondy is the only foil to there plan,more on that laiter.[side note: not all slit eye or slit like eye cookies are in the image showned]

Another thing worth of note is pondy's shape and body design, as a New born baby dino it makes sense there small stubby and chubby,but a weird thing is that they where born with not only super long "hair" that seams too twist rather then sway as well as a flower that-

APARANTLY IS EATHER SENTIENT OR APART OF THEM???? Wich all of this leads me too belive this is all apart of there boddy, meaning pondy has 6 limbs [huh kinda make sense why there with lotus now] one set of back and front flippers + the hair flippers.

and finnaly in terms of the design we have pondys color palet! Its quite simple being made out of the face tone, primeraly 2 to 3 shades of blue, some cream yellows for the eyes,flower,and tummy, as well as white for extra detail and purple for the eyes,2th layer of the flower and.....segmentación on the chest?? Im not gonna try to understand why a nonbinary they/its new born lizard that already looks quite femenet needed boob segmentación on there upper body so lets just move on.

As ive not seen the hold story i won't be able to talk much about the lore but looks like there isn't much to cover? They where born from an egg that showed up in a place where "ancient magic once held sway" if i had to guess the lotus palace or the lotus lake its self as it did have quite the amount of magical things besides lotus there self, such as lesser dragons wich while not new as we've seen them all over the place, the little elfs that worked for lotus alongside the hydrangean cookies, and that time longan sent there despicable me looking eye balls there so yeah theres a lot of magic.

And if you remember i did say i was gonna talk about longans "the only foil to my plan" line earlier so lets start with this final segment!, i belive what this line refers to is that there atempts at destroying cookie kind might not be that eficient if life [aka pond] can still emerge from it, they sunk an entierd palace and possibly flooded a hold island and jet a cookie was borned from this destrucción, longan seams to know what this implies as while still a baby pond thretends there hold plan just by existing somhow, maybe will see somthing simmilar to pond in the future, eather other babys from the ananas and pitaya islands [maybe lychee as well idk how bad there island is as the longan break out starts deep below the surface], some kind of figure or presence in history, or maybe a New legend? Who knows!

Side note below if you wanna read

Hi thanks too anyone who reads this far into the post! Even thru my crazy theories and endless rambles y bad grammer, i hope it was understandable to some degree. If you have anything that i may have forgot, got wrong, and even wanna add or share what you think on anything regarding this post feal free to inform me!. Anyways hope this was a ok post at best as i hope to do more like this in the future as it was tons of fun for me even if im not trully sure on how to takle this

#cookie run #longan dragon cookie #lychee dragon cookie #lotus dragon cookie #ananas dragon cookie #pitaya dragon cookie #snake fruit cookie #pond dino cookie #raw ingredients

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aurosoulart · 1 year

Note

hey, for the record ive seen a few posts now about lives privacy policy/tracking being pretty sketchy, just for the record. idk how true that is since i haven't touched live at all but i just wanted to mention it in case there IS something sketchy going on that could potentially be bad for you/other potential live streamers

oh yeah I read through the ToS and I think I know exactly where peoples' concerns are coming from

in many social media ToS's, there is a section saying that by agreeing you consent to have all your content reproduced freely and without pay by the platform.

the purpose of this term is so that the platform can take your content and do different things with it - like DeviantArt's or INPRNT's Twitter accounts promoting artists by posting people's artwork, or basically anything involving a platform taking user content and featuring and/or changing it in any way. these use cases include things like automatic thumbnail crops of images, automatic watermarks, and content being categorized and featured in any way - but the list goes on and examples are many.

here's a specific example: I signed a similar ToS contract when I submitted my work to be featured on Intel's Office Hours. giving Intel permission to 'reproduce and transform my content without pay' allowed them to take my art and reproduce it (via screenshots) on their Twitter feed in order to promote the Office Hours session, and it gave them permission to actually show and record my work on the livestream in the first place.

these terms are broad in their wording and many people are not comfortable consenting to them because the language sounds predatory, but this is how social media currently functions in the internet ecosystem we know today.

we create and share content for free, and while social medias may give us tools to make money using them - these platforms are not obligated to pay creators when, say, crossposting their work somewhere else or featuring it on the Tumblr Radar.

the ToS DOESN'T mean these platforms get to take and sell your content directly - like they can't take my art and start selling merch with it - which is the only thing I personally care about regarding my own work.

it's definitely a tradeoff though, regarding privacy and personal data. like with late stage capitalism, there is no real 'non-sketchy' way to produce content for social media these days because we are all treated as products ourselves.

as a content creator, I have to weigh the pros and cons of what a platform provides for me vs. what it takes - but ultimately if I want total, %100 control of my work, I would have to stop using social media entirely, which unfortunately isn't feasible for me because it would directly harm my income. (my feelings on that warrant a whole post of their own but I think I'll stop typing here LOL, this is a novel already)

TLDR; the ToS sounds predatory but it's not as bad as it's worded to be... but it is still kinda iffy because that's just the state of social media. you can take it or leave it depending on your own preferences

#auropost #SORRY THIS IS REALLY LONG #and thank you for your concern anon it is appreciated to see people looking out for artists #stay critical stay vigilant etc.

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pinkanonwrites · 1 year

Note

this isnt me requesting a fic or drabble or anything, and i do NOT mean to sound critical/mean in any way of how youve written Vash, but i think you have an interesting oppurtunity to have Reader find out >> call out Vash on sleeping with his prosthetic on

admittingly, ive never watched any form of Trigun (i only know some things via Pop Culture Osmosis). i just like your romance writing; you are very good at polishing your craftsmanship, it's, again, very good. so ill read whatever (so long as i.. vaguely recognize the property at least). so i dont know if Vash cannonically sleeps with his prosthetic on-- but as a disabled person who has friends with missing limbs, even if the creator of Trigun hypothetically says it's fine that Vash sleeps with it: no, it's not. not in real life. it can cause injuries to the limb and the stump needs to de-stress. that's how real life prosthetics work (and, off-topic, is a detail i really like about Full-Metal Alchemist! they talk about this and show it! a lot! (maybe Trigun does too, idk, again, i havent seen it))

but yeah! idk if sleeping with prosthetics is something canonical to Trigun or if it is something you accidentally assumed (no hard feelings there either way, lots of disabled media accidentally protrays this. Hiccup in How To Train Your Dragon and Finn in Adventure Time are both widely beloved disabled representations and also their creators fuck up sometimes and have them sleep with their prosthetics on. it happens. you live and you learn). if youd like to learn more, there's a youtube channel called Oakwyrm where disabled representation is the main point of discussion (fun fact: they even have a video analyzing the disabled representation in a Barbie fairy movie, that's fun lmao). i would link you the specific videoes id recommend you watch, but tumblr doesnt like anons sending links, so i just recommend checking out their channel (again: they have videos on Hiccup of How To Train Your Dragon, Finn of Adventure Time, and Edward of Full-Metal Alchemist. so there are a variety of resources on their channel about how prosthetics are handled in media. all three of these videos are typically pretty short and fairly succinct. i recommend watching all three and any other video topic of Oakwyrm's that catches your fancy, but im not gonna push you to watch something you dont wanna watch lmao) just wanted to give you that as a good opening point for resource about disability

i do think you having written the Reader seeing Vash sleep with his prosthetic on gives you a unique opportunity tho! (again, this isnt a Request. i know those are closed. its more of an "i dont want you to feel bad and i also dont want you to panic and take down those fics or anything, here's a helpful reminder that theres Other Options and you can use this as a jumping off point for future fic ideas or you can ignore this idea and just Write Prosthetics Differently In The Future", i dunno, its your blog, your writing, im not in charge lmao) you now have a history of the Reader knowing he sleeps with it on and can now potentially write a fic about why him doing that would make sense from a character stand-point. like why isnt he taking care of himself? why is he risking ruining that prosthetic or hurting his stump? does he not typically feel safe enough to be that vulnerable or is it a self-image thing or, or, or...? like, there is oppurtunity there. and it does make sense in some of your fics why he wouldnt-- the sick-fic you wrote recently is one of my favorite of yours ever, and it makes complete sense that Vash wouldn't go the extra step of taking off his prosthetic if there was a chance he'd need to use that arm to help take care of the Reader or if it's over-use is part of the reason why maybe his body runs as warm as it does. its just some spaghetti to throw at the wall, y'know, see if it sticks, scrap it and cook something else up if it doesn't. i dont want you to think im entitled or anything, again, this isnt a request at all. just some proverbial spaghetti to throw, you can feel free to respond via scrapping my pitch and doing your own thing reactive to this correction on how living with prosthetics works. maybe Reader is a techie who Vash visits to fix his prosthetic. i dunno if that's a role already taken in the canon of the show/manga. but hey, whatever you wanna do now that you know one shouldnt sleep with their prosthetic on and have a starting point with research, im sure ill be all for ♡ do whatever you want, its your blog ♡♡♡

but yEAH, ive encountered enough Squirrelly Writers who panic at any sign of innacuracy or problematic aspects in their hard-work where i think me being on the back-foot and going "you do NOT have to delete everything you wrote that is inaccurate to real experiences with prosthetics" makes sense. so i do want to reiterate that: you do NOT have to do that (and, ngl to you, fam, i would feel really bad if you did; i really like your work with Vash, like i said, the sick-fic specifically is one of my favorite fics by anybody that ive read in a while, that shit will be sticking around my noggin). i just wanted to reiterate that. i dont think you are a bad person or that this is immoral or anything. i think its a common mistake and, ill admit, i know squat about that other cgi show you watch with another prosthetic-user, but i noticed this was recurring with Vash, so i thought id gently mention it since i know it is a common mistake people make without, y'know, realizing its a mistake. and if Trigun shows Vash cannonically sleeping with his prosthetic, shame on them, that really sucks, they should do better by him and their disabled audience. but you?? you're just one person writing romance for fun. youre not a corporation with editors who should know to research this stuff before publishing. (or, who knows, maybe Trigun does show Vash taking his prosthetic off before sleeping, i dunno, im a casual fan of YOUR work, i dont know anything about Trigun beyond what i vaguely absorbed via Pop Culture Osmosis due to having been in the anime and sci-fo community in the past. i have no idea if they do or dont do their research. they should. but i certainly dont know if they do or not)

so yeah. just wanted to put that out there so Now You Know and the ball is now in your court as towards what to do with that information now that you have it. im sure ill love whatever you do with it, again, big fan of what you make as is already ♡ lots of love to you and yours, have a good day!!

(scooping up your proverbial spaghetti into a pot for later use in fanfic inspiration)

Thank you so much for all of your kind words! As for Trigun, as much as I love it, it's not the most realistic when it comes to the actual drawbacks and difficulties of having a prosthetic limb. It could be because it's a futuristic sci-fi piece, or the writers just don't want to get into it, or they just didn't know much about actual prosthetic management, but Vash doesn't really make a point to remove his prosthetic intentionally all that often. They've shown him sleeping in it before, and as far as I can remember in the OG anime the only time he didn't have it was when he was switching to a new model of arm.

There could be canonical reasons for that! It could be because of his vague inhuman-ness, or because he's self punishing, or any number of reasons we could interpolate from the OG mediums that they don't succinctly spell out for us. But reasons aside, the realities of using/wearing a prosthetic limb would make very interesting fic writing details, and I'd definitely like to dig into it a bit more in the future.

This ask actually comes at the perfect time, because as I've been working on my Twitch Streamer Trigun AU I've been doing some research on the realities of being a competitive (or even casual) video game player while being physically disabled. I've been doing a lot of thinking and researching on how people with only one arm actually play video games and custom controllers and set-ups and stuff, so while I may or may not go into it in super serious detail in the future I'm definitely going to at least touch on it more than once!

And last but not least, thank you for being so kind and respectful about commenting! I'm more than willing to admit that if I'm broaching a subject I'm not the most versed in I may make a mistake or two, and I'm alright with that! A long time ago I wrote a Stardew Valley fic and mistranslated some sign language, and like you I had a very kind and friendly reader point out my goof-up in a way that didn't mock me or make me feel stupid. I don't mind being corrected at all, as long as people are being nice about it. I'm only human too, afterall.

Anyway, TLDR; Thanks for being so nice, I'd love to write more about Vash's prosthetic in the future <3

#pink chat #anon #long post #vash the stampede

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activated-pen · 1 year

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hi i’m gonna post rambles about a book series nobody knows maybe. i came across it while reading an anthology called fell beasts and fair. idk if anyone will read this and i don’t care but i need to get out something in my brain. i have a degree in fiction writing or something idk

i don’t think anything’s really inspired me to sit down and think about stuff like this in a while but i read a book of queer essays before the anthology (queer reflections on horror) and i guess ive been in “alternate analysis” mode

but anyways when it comes to fae there’s always something to be said about neurodivergancy

i think, as a nonbinary autistic person, there’s something distinctly fascinating about the city between series and pet. i'd initially gone "omg this must be some it/its nonbinary child" (the anthology short story is narrated by a leprechaun who doesn’t know pet’s gender and constantly thinks of “it” though there’s actually a typo that calls pet “she” in narration once that i noticed because i was laser focused) bc there was only one use of pronouns and it seemed to be corrected back to it/its. like, i thought pet was an it/its human that happened to be correctly gendered bc the leprechaun didn’t apply a gender to her

and then i still didn't quite get it until a good way into the first book that pet was probably a she/her because athelas called her she mistakenly. as far as i recall, pet never calls herself a girl.

even tho ive only read one short story and the first book so far (gonna read more once i’m paid for freelance stuff,) i’ve felt like there’s a strong lack of an Image of pet. like yeah she’s narrating but also she carries the story and her weight based on her personality, voice, and narration, it feels a lot like you’re looking into the world through this narrator. she doesn’t really seem to react much to being called it besides mild annoyance at the confusion rhe first time, mostly it's annoying that they keep trying to pretend they don't like her

but like (within the context of the first book n stuff) pet is talked about so little and has existed by her/itself for so long, unnoticed and hidden, that it feels like she/it truly lacks a personhood and has for a Long Time. like it’s already noted that nobody knew she existed. she may well not exist, but of course she does, she’s got such a hyperactive and involved personality and is brave and kind.

and only the people who seem to recognize that about her actually seem to talk to her as a Person. even though she’s ostensibly dehumanized by fae that are detached from the concept of humanity, they also award her more humanity and recognize her individuality and personality more than anyone has in SO long, bc she’s been hiding and not really interacting with people outside of work.

there’s some trans metaphor i can see in there, that’s all i’m saying, but also something about adhd + autism and masking

i feel like she/it isn’t too bothered by going by pet because she hasn’t really gone by a name besides “you” for so long and just no longer has interest in pretty much anything human of that sort. she also takes quickly (and in a somewhat silly way) to this “role” because she’s not really been given a role in so long. i don’t think pet knows how to be a person or human, and doesn’t CARE to understand a right or wrong way of doing anything, she just is and only begins to exist around the freak squad. (i keep thinking of her as it/they)

i feel like i could write a whole thing about the comparisons between neurodivergant (ESPECIALLY autistic) people and fae, and the idea of autistic people forcing themselves to mask and pretend. and then also how trans people often have to hide who we are and only be ourselves in private, or how sometimes there’s a uniquely isolating experience about being trans and nonbinary and feeling disconnected from other people, even other trans people sometimes, because it’s hard to be Seen when you’re nonbinary

anyways pet is autistic and nonbinary (she/it/they/maybe just doesn’t care) and i’d hazard a guess at bi and/or ace if i wanna keep pushing the disconnect from others angle.

#the city between

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mariekanker · 2 years

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Helloo... Just gotta say I really love your artstyle and ur drawings are awesome :). Got any tips for drawings or something like that?, bc I wanna improve in drawing T_T

(idk how you draw or what ur skill level is or anything so if you know any of these already uhh sorry

in my experience using 3d shapes instead of flat construction shapes helps a lot if you want ur character art to have more depth and this is where i realize i have a picture for this actually

^^ on top of this if you draw digitally coloring in the sketch can make any imperfections with the shape n mass of what ur drawing more obvious and this can save you a lot of grief later if you go sketch->lineart->color and realize too late while coloring your foundation wasn't very good . also if you draw digitally try getting into the habit of flipping the canvas regularly that makes wonky shapes and skewed perspective more obvious too . ive seen the joke a lot of people being frustrated or embarrassed when they wait until the sketch is finished then flip the canvas and realize it looks really skewed which is very dumb to me because the sketch can just be a rough draft its fine . which on that note sketches are a thing you're probably going to have to iterate on over and over and over like it's not embarrassing if you don't get it right on the first try, best case scenario if its something i care about looking good at all it'll take me at least like 3-5 sketches. something something, sketches aren't the final so don't get caught up in the details right out the gate as a first step i see a lot of beginners get caught up in getting the head and face right first, THEN sketching the body after and maybe that works for some people just fine but in my experience personally if you loose sketch/figure sketch the whole body first no face no extreme detail at least you can work the pose out first before you waste your time getting caught up in details only to realize you don't have a great pose to go with it

also to you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, the line of action?

actually lastly uhh if youre relatively new to drawing seriously dont get caught up in trying to have an iconic artstyle or even a consistent art style (<- like consistency really doesn't matter unless ur making like a comic or animation obviously) but you really really don't have to focus on having an art style worked out within the first few years or first decade even of drawing seriously. An art style will come to you naturally over time. This isn't to say you can't draw how you want to draw, but if you over fixate on having a cool recognizable unique not like other artists art style right out the gate but without much of any studying of anatomy or how your favorite art styles work, you're probably not going to get very far with that. and most important art tip of them all; don't draw to impress people, don't draw for likes and shares, draw for you and make the art you want to see. hope this was comprehensible or helpful and that tumblr doesnt format the images weird . just trying to rattle off some things that helped me a lot . if this post sucks idk ask me again later

#asks

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upagainstthesunset · 8 months

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Metron's Love Life: Does It Exist?

Okay to be fair, it's never stated in canon that Metron can't fall in love. Ive been going around saying it is canon, but it's probably more of my own extrapolation of his personality than anything. It's my interpretation of what is or isnt out of character for him. With that in mind, let's look at three specific scenarios and I'll let you be the judge on whether or not this guy has a heart. These are the only brushes with romance that Metron's had that I'm aware of (and believe me, im very aware).

Scenario 1: New Gods #13 by Gerry Conway 1977

Metron and others are each tasked with protecting a human on Earth, so he shows up in New Orleans to protect a woman named Lorraine Hampton. The only indication that he's partial to her at all is when he watches her perform on stage and admires her singing.

[ID: Two comic panels. In the first, Lorraine turns Metron's face towards herself flirtatiously and says, "--and like me." To which Metron replies, "I'm sure I shall enjoy your performance Lorraine Hampton." She says, "See that you do, good buddy... And don't go home without me."

In the second image he watches Lorraine sing and says to himself thoughtfully, "Odd. I've traveled half a dozen galaxies... Spanned a full third of the known universe... But never have I felt a sense of belonging, as I feel here... Tonight." /END]

My personal feeling is that this out of character, but he really only has had 11 appearances up to this point. It's hardly much to go by. And in fairness, this is treated as a kind of unexpected anomaly that he finds himself feeling this way. But I suppose what I always end up falling back to is Kirby's characterization in New Gods. In my heart of hearts I just don't see this fitting. And also it really skirts around flirtation without him indicating if the odd feeling he has is romantic or just fascination.

Scenario 2: Super Powers #5 by Jack Kirby 1984

So if Kirby's word is gospel, what do we have here. In this one Metron has managed to save everyone after dealing with Darkseid and the Worlogog. To show her appreciation, Wonder Woman gives him a chaste kiss on the cheek, to which Metron appears visibly startled.

[ID: A comic panel of Wonder Woman kissing Metron on the cheek. Metron looks shocked and says, "What?! A kiss for Metron? I-- I never thought it likely--" Wonder Woman replies, "You deserve it-- for saving our world, and showing us that even a god can be human." Off screen someone says, "The brain booster-- it just disappeared!" /END]

I've shared this panel before because to me this is buck wild. Metron getting a kiss! From Wonder Woman!! He looks as surprised as I did when I first read this. I'd call this fan service but idk besides me what fan this could possibly cater to. Regardless, this is a rare time where we get any insight into Metron's thinking about romance at all. He doesnt say if receiving a kiss is something he had desired or hoped for, or even if he liked it. Just that he thought it wasn't in the cards for him. Knowing him, if he had wanted this kind of interaction with someone, he would have pursued it to completion. We've seen other instances where he is almost relentless about getting what he wants, so to me it means he didn't care enough to try to make it happen. But hmm idk, that really doesn't explain why he's so flustered.

Scenario 3: New Gods #22 by Mark Evanier 1991

Metron thinks back on the time when he betrayed all of New Genesis by giving Darkseid the means to be anywhere at any time in exhange for the ability to complete work on the Mobius Chair. Back then there was a woman who tried very hard to keep his attention, but she never won him over in the way she would've liked. He respected her in a way, and even said he loved her, but he also thought of her abstractly and through the lens of study.

[ID: A comic panel of Metron and Desdemona arguing. Desperately, Desdemona yells, "There was a time, Metron, when you said you loved me... When that and that alone gave you purpose!" Standing away from her, but turning back to regard her, Metron says, "Desdemona, I do love you. In my own way, I always shall. But I was gifted with an insatiable brain and a thirst for knowledge, so that I might ever expand the latter." /END]

So now we finally have an example of Metron addressing his ability to love directly. And by his own words, he can love. He does love. But it clearly isnt in the way that others do, and he knows it. But despite what he says, he still betrays her and others. He doesnt try to protect her, or even really consider her in general except when he's taking mental notes on her behavior. Always the academic amirite?

The other thing with this exchange is that apparently at one time he said she was enough to satisfy his mind. No offense but I find that pretty hard to believe. It's a real 'he would not fucking say that' situation. I'll buy that Metron thinks he loves someone in his own way, but i draw the line at him allegedly saying love gave him purpose. I mean come on.

[ID: Two comic panels of Metron and Desdemona talking. He appears stern, while she looks defeated with tears in her eyes. In the first he says, "There is a price to be paid with every gain of knowledge. As my mate, you shall just have to accept that." She says, "You have so much to learn, Metron. Even the simplest truths escape you."

In the second panel she walks away from him saying, "I have not been your 'mate' for a long time." /END]

See now this sounds a lot more like Metron. He wants her to accept that Darkseid's troops attacked New Genesis children in exchange for securing the element that powers the Mobius Chair. And you know what? He totally would fucking say that! That is SO in character! Are these the words of a man who loves someone?? No! And this whole "as my mate" business.. I do think he'd say that. I don't like it, but is it within reason for his personality? Absolutely.

So like, to me it kinda seems like he didnt really love her even if he thought he did. He mightve loved studying her? But thats about it. And when she walked away crying she said she never wanted to see him again and he noted her behavior for further study (not pictured).

Now there is something to be said about this being just one writer's characterization of him, but Evanier worked as one of Kirby's assistants during the creation of the Fourth World books. He has gone on record as saying he felt he didn't do as good of a job with the title himself, but I still think tonally maybe he gets a little extra credit for whatever insight working with Jack Kirby gave him.

That said, would Metron ever take on a "mate"? Idk maybe for science to see what it's like or how it goes. And would he end up completely missing how much he hurts her? Probably. So yeah, to me this wasn't love. Even though he said it was.

In Conclusion

Ive shown what I can related to Metron's few brushes with romance. Obviously I couldnt include all of scenario 3, so if you want to learn more youll have to read the entire issue. But as you can see, the rare times where he supposedly saw some action, it's either unclear how into it he is, or unclear if what he felt was actually romantic attraction in the first place. And in all cases, it really begs the question of if certain aspects are even in character to begin with. So what do you think? Does Metron have the ability to love?

#metron #new gods #fourth world #metronmeta #metron if i fits i sits #katetakes

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fancyfade · 2 years

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[image: 2 comic panels from red robin issue 14. first we see tim drake (as red robin) and dick grayson (as batman, with his cowl and cape off) standing around and talking in front of a computer. tim says “didn’t think the homunculus would care to try, much less be hurt by it...” dick says “You kidding? He practically bleeds a need to be accepted. there’s a stubborn logic to your thinking, but this approach bit bruce in the butt more than once.” tim asys “All the more reason to have contingency plans for the good guys as well as the bad.” dick says “just realize that not everyone can detatch themselves emotionally as easily as you can. Though I dnotice I’m not up there.” tim says “You never would be.” dick starts tapping on the computer keyboard. end image]

ugh dislike a lot of nicieza’s writing and i feel like ive seen some defenses of this plotline like ‘well nicieza clearly showed damian as a kid who wanted to be accepted, so he wasn’t trying to say tim is right it was showing tim as an asshole’ but i feel like that does not hold up to other character interactions and subtext.

like the general idea that is being prompted here is ‘tim is coldly rational.’ his issue is being TOO logical, TOO prepared (like bruce, b/c we have to emphasize he’s the next bruce). if you ask dick, his main crime is not having a hard enough password to hack on his hero hit list

[image: a comic panel showing tim as red robin and dick as batman (again sans mask and cape). in teh background, damian as robin is walking away kind of dejected and alfred has his hand on damian’s shoulder. tim asys “You understnd, right? just in terms of general planning -- i mean look at his history -- his biology even...” dick says “I get it, tim, I do -- but at least maybe a harder password to hack...?” end image]

and tim’s internal monologue is anything but rational or logical -- its vicious and petty and straight up vile if you ask me

[image: 2 comic panels showing internal monologue from tim reading “always forgiven because he was raised in a vat of chemicals -- and taught to be a homicidal maniac.” and “is it okay that it felt good to finally not hold back on the little snot?” end image]

like... if dick had NOT said tim is ‘rational’ and just not being connected with his emotions enough, you could have a VERY convincing case of tim being... just a huge jerk. he’s letting his past resentment about damian cloud his judgment. it’s purely emotion driven.

but dick, who is portrayed by the author as in damian’s corner (sort of) and sympathetic-ish to him is like ‘no tims only problem is being emotionally detached and not having a harder to crack password.

(also like: I know it will be relevant and IDK if the author was even paying attention, but tim’s language is really dehumanizing here and it does come across as racist)

#tim drake negative #red robin 2009 #red robin crit #tim drake #dick grayson #idk #fade reads dc comics #2009 era batfam stuff

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into-the-loidverse · 1 year

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hey, I don't usually reach out to artists like this but I want to thank you for those culturally appropriate masa redesigns. I was a fan of his for a while and admittedly always found those designs he made to be extremely questionable (especially the GANESHA designs... if you have to TELL your audience what real-world God the character is supposed to be then you really messed up when designing them). Like you said, it goes to show that he did enough research to know what they were supposed to look like, but chose to go against it and hypersexualize the designs anyway because horny. Your redesigns proved that he not only could have done better from a cultural standpoint but that these characters would have still been beautiful even if they were wearing more than a yard of fabric lol. Masa has been doing this stuff for a VERY long time and I'm truly surprised that nobody said anything before. I really hope he learns something from this mess but from the way he's been reacting... well, I sort of doubt it. U dont have to respond to this, its just something i wanted to get off my chest, hope u have a good holiday mate

haha anon thank u so much !!!!!!!!!!!! i rly do appreciate this 😆😆💜💜 [long rant below oops soz anon]

oh yeah i definitely agree !!!! ive always had an issue and been pretty vocal [on insta] about his design choices in general bc…. this is a personal ick but i just hate hornybait art [esp from men] bc 90% of the time it looks uncanny that i dont understand how its hot…. this is especially seen in masas newer art - his clothing is vacuum sucked booby pocket that looks plasticky / nonsensical and the faces r just … yknow ? [doesnt help his woman anatomy hasnt improved much w the boobs being super high 2 the collarbone that it makes everything look off - and i always excused it bc i think it was when he drew the soap lagoon tribute image ? he said how he knows his artstyle is not how it was during onibi series and wishes 2 not return 2 it + the art is not the biggest priority over music which makes sense ! idk his art is always the best when not sexualised [or at least u cannot tell at 1st glance] like his avicii tribute / cappuccino pv or literally anything non human like guns / skulls etc]

edit: i just remembered the existence of patriot balalaika [hate that song sm as a russian immigrant] and i lied that song is the *best* researched song bc there is no sexualisation and it bases it true on the life of a war zone - WHICH FUCKING SUCKS that out of all songs it is that gets proper treatment .... what the fuck i get the dude likes military stuff but boooooooo so uninteresting [props 2 him removing the pv tho !]

im very happy that my redesigns served its purpose !! it was honestly quite easy after looking at multiple pictures + articles / blogs about said topic…. his la catrina is the best one only because it matched a cheap outfit i saw while researching so yknow thats something… his defence 4 ganesha also pretty much confirms what u said w hypersexualisation:

funny thing is during this whole situation i wrote an essay about fetishisation of women in comics 4 uni and he fits all the criteria of that so yay…. go cishet men 🥳🥳/s

i am so sorry anon 4 the long rant 😭😭 i too wish u a happy holiday !!!!!!!!!!!!! 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

#ask

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straight-to-the-pain · 2 years

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I do know several explicit self identified kink blogs that only have text. Thats quite common now especially since the Great Tumblr Purge. Ive seen some whump posts floating around there. Ive also seen some kink posts floating around whump tumblr. Especially with posts like “wow I just want to see a cute boy get beaten up” or whatever, there can be so much overlap.

Idk what the ~solution~ for minor issues are. I dont think there is going to be a way to make sure youth who are on the internet looking for Hurt People Content will NEVER stumble across something sexual tbh. But I guess the best we can do is try to make it clear what isnt for them on our own blogs (aka label up front things that will have noncon or whatever, maybe tag “hey minors dont go thru OPs blog” if we’re concerned) but if they decide to go click on everyone who reblogs a post… thats out of our control. The internet is, for better or for worse, full of all kinds of people who will reblog whatever they please, and some of them might be horny about it.

And our staff are already trying to make this website have as few nsfw images as possible with varying success so… 🤷🏻

I think whats more important than wringing our hands about whether or not someone of some age has a sexual though is being kind and helpful to the people who are in our community. As a minor wading through all kinds of nasty shit online back in the day™️, I could have benefited a lot from a community like this. Open conversations about consent and ethics and sexuality would have done much more for me than trying to keep anything remotely sadomasochistic as far from me as possible.

-(New anon, just didnt want shit about this but came to soapbox on your blog. I think youre making great points and Im glad youre facilitating these discussions)

I think those are some great points, thank you! I want to say that I think it makes complete sense to say, state that you have to be 18 or over to interact with your blog, or asking people with nsfw blogs not to interact because you’re a minor, but you also have to remember that not everyone is going to check this or realise this.

While people should be able to message others and ask them to not reblog from them or comment on their posts, I also think that blocking is honestly fine and good and people shouldn’t be afraid to block simply for personal comfort. It doesn’t have to be a punishment. It’s just a way of curating your own experience.

I definitely think that it’s futile and harmful even to pretend that teens and young people don’t know anything about kink or sex. I am well aware that minors are going to have personal interests and fantasies and may well be trying things with each other, and honestly I just hope that they’re having open and honest discussions about this with their friends and with trusted adults in their lives.

I’m not responsible for online minors who follow me and I don’t want to know about your sex lives and interests, but at the same time if you don’t have someone you trust who will talk to you about this at home or at school or at a youth group, I would rather people came to me so I could give them age appropriate resources and guide them towards a more appropriate and safe source of information.

I would absolutely rather that young people have informed safe sex rather than being told that they should never think about it until they turn 18 and doing it secretly and getting hurt or hurting someone else in their ignorance. And I am well aware that teens are going to read sexual content, and probably read things that aren’t meant for them too, and I think there’s a difference between exploring and figuring things out in your own mind and actively seeking out adults to interact with them about that content. And it’s on the adults here to draw those boundaries and at the end of the day, block minors who are interacting with them inappropriately.

#asks answered #whump community #whump meta #I think it is important that young people see those sorts of conversations about consent and safety and ethics #because teens are always gonna be doing stuff and I would really rather they at least had the knowledge to do it safely

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ebdanon · 19 days

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something is off with me because im not sure why you were worried about where i was going with the story 🥲 i mean i know its a shitty story but i never expect anything horrible to happen

and yeah there's never been a single reasonable parent between mine and my husband's parents lmao while his dont care about arguing in front of strangers as long as the scene looks like they're the victims, mine have always strived to appear perfect in front of strangers. i met my in laws a couple of months after we started dating, i was invited over for dinner, and my mil had no problem starting a screaming match about some local politician's election promises. on the other hand, i met my best friend over a decade ago, when her family moved to the apartment next door to my family's. the building is structured in a way where we shared a single wall across half of the rooms, e.g. my and her bedrooms were separated by a single wall, and if we felt like hanging out, we'd knock on that wall to let the other one know lol her family never knew about a single raised voice or argument or anything in my family despite those things happening regularly, because all those things happened in the room that was most remote from all other neighbors, so that my parents could continue presenting a pristine image to the rest of the world. now both sets of parents are irritated with us because we never have arguments, since we're able to sort out any misunderstanding calmly and quietly - no malice, vengeance, or ego - because we both understand how bad they are from growing up in a similar way. we both saw one of those "its not you vs me, it's us against the problem" quotes and took it to heart lmaoo

funny story, i feel like fate or the universe was involved in us meeting because it turned out we'd been orbiting each other's lives and friend groups the entire time before we first saw each other, which is kinda weird. like both of us being at the same time and place, but never seeing each other. ive seen pictures of us at the same parties in bars, separated by a table or two. or even just hanging out with friends, my friends had a preferred bench at a local park, turned out so did his, and it was literally the one 30ft away at the same park. we knew each other's friends but never actually saw one another so we could meet until we were in our 20s lmao the universe kept saying "not yet" till we grew up 😂 quite literally, my other best friend knew him personally but i never even saw him until years later lmao

anyway, a day after the whole shitstorm argument, and we have my mil twisting everything to fit her worldview. for example she claims she never called me a piece of shit, she was actually calling my husband that, despite me literally quoting when and how it happened, it's being turned into me "misremembering" despite it happening multiple times, but i only quoted one situation, but its fine because that's what narcissists do lmao

the fact that you WERE surprised i was worried is concerning 😭

also thats very sweet with your husband, the invisible string of it all 🥺 its crazy how you can orbit someone for years and not even realize it. i remember one of my best friends and i discovered we were at the same party one night our sophomore year of college and completely missed each other. i was there with my shitty ex roommates and met some people there who were also not the greatest to me but sometimes i think i needed that to get to where im at now

also my mom does the same thing tbh but idk if shes doing it maliciously or actually has memory issues 😭 girl had insomnia and lack of sleep can fuck your memory. but it drives me NUTS

#asks #lore anon

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getris · 6 months

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I've heard some people use tumblr as a way of venting or letting things out, i guess those are the same thing and i figured ill give this a try.

This will mostly be me venting to myself about things to do with my life starting with my grandad, and id like to stay anonymous so i wont mention his name.

But on may 28th 2023 i lost my grandad, so about 6 months ago now, ive delt with mental health issues for the majority of my life, idk if thats due to a cocktail of family issues, medication my mother was taking when she was pregnant with me or if theres just something not quite right in my head.

Ive delt with major trust issues, self confidence and self image issues, physical and emotional abuse from both parents and emotional abuse and manipulation from an ex partner but never in my life has anything come quite as close to the level of mind twisting torment that grief has provided; i loved my grandad dearly, out of every member of my dysfunctional family he has consistently been the only safe space, i have never once seen him get angry, swear or even raise his voice unless he was letting out one of his typical hearty chuckles and i think i can safely say that no matter what anyone said he couldnt get angry or judge.

That doesnt mean he is incapable of being firm, he was a fair man and if you did something truly stupid or disappointing he would give you this specific look, one that is still filled with love and compassion but sadness and disappointment and he might throw in a softly spoken "dont do that" (but a little rugged from years of cigars and whiskey during his time in the army), even then his tone was reassuring and it never made you feel challenged but it always got through, i could be screaming at my mother, bright red faced and body full of adrenaline but the moment i caught that look and heard that tone it would all wash away and id feel nothing but regret for what ever was said or done, thats when you know someone is a good person, when they dont need to shout at you, push you or say harsh things, and a simple few calm words immediately diffuse the entire situation.

So naturally me and everyone else in my family were close to him, i have so many fond memories of him, like the time he had this golf cart (he loved golf) and my brother turned it on by accident and sent the thing shooting off down the street as my grandad desperately sprinted after it, or the times he would adamantly try to fix or build things on his own since hes an ex army mechanic and knew better, only to sheepishly realise hes made a mistake and go back to the instructions, he took me to a fishing tournament once and i honestly didnt care at all about the tournament but it was a lovely chance to spend one on one time with him as adults, he even bought me a cider and a beer for himself and that was the first and only chance i got to drink with him, that tournament was even broadcast on TV once so id love to go back and try to find it to see if i can spot me and my grandad in the crowd somewhere.

Theres so much more to the relationship between me and my grandad and im sure ill remember some of it and come back to write more another time, but you can imagine why it felt like my world was shook, i was at a friends house when i first got a call from my brother, he said something along the lines of my grandad had fell over and they took him to hospital, found out that it was potentially cancer but there was no certainty, i cried immediately after that call because to me my grandad was this big, unshakeable ex military man and ive seen him hurt a million times and be unbothered, so to hear that he had collapsed immediately sent waves through my body and i knew something wasnt right.

i spent another few days at my friends house and went home, at that time i was grossly behind with university work (due to mental health issues), and i had finals coming up so i had to force myself back into work, nothing but university and train times and study sessions on my mind because i had to pass, i had to... so i went to my friends house, we study better together and have similar mindsets, so it works out really well when we study and bounce ideas back and forth between each other to get the assignments done, i remember finishing a particularly gruelling study session with her one night when my brother messaged me saying he needs to tell me something but its better if i hear it in person, but i intended to stay at my friends until these assignments and exams were over so i pushed him to message me the update and thats where the regrets started.

My brother told me that my grandad was very sick, it was confirmed to be cancer and the moment i read that i felt physically sick, but my brother reassured me that my grandad was told he had a few years to live, so immediately i wasnt too hurt and i was hell bent that as soon as these exams are over im going to go visit him and once hes out of hospital ill make memories with him, drink with him if possible, anything he wanted.

But thats not how it went, i kept studying and handing in assignments and all i had left was one more exam and thats it im free for the summer and i can go see grandad, but just a day or so before the exam my brother messaged me again saying my grandads health had declined rapidly, he was told months, and then weeks left, so of course i panicked, but i had to do this exam and it was only one more day so surely everythings going to be fine and i can still go see him in the hospital and have a laugh and chat with him.

Exam day comes and i cant get it out of my mind by this point, my family told me they are visiting him that day and asked if i could come but because of visiting hours and my exam hours, i couldnt go but again i told myself "he has weeks left, i can bare one more day and visit him the moment my family goes again", so i went to university, went into that exam room and the entire time i couldnt focus, my university was in the same town that my grandad was in care, so all that was on my mind for that entire two hours was "hes only 30 minutes away, what if he passes while im in here", but the exam time passed painfully slowly but it passed regardless, after the exam i was insanely exhausted and depressed, i hung around with my friend after the exam for an hour or so and then took the train home, turns out timing is a bitch because the moment i got home my parents asked if i was still at uni because they could pick me up on their way to the hospital but i had just got home, the next train would be an hour from then so theres no way i could have visited.

Two days later i was at my mothers birthday when she informed me that my grandad didnt in fact have weeks, he had days left at most and they were going to see him the next day and theres no way im missing anymore chances, so the day comes that we get to go see him, but again something really did not feel right, we got in the car and only a few minutes after picking up my grandmother my aunt (who was at the hospital) said to come quick because he was choking on his own tongue at that point and they expect him to be gone any minute.

Thats the beginning of the heartbreak, seeing my own grandmother in the car talking out loud "just wait (his name) just wait a bit longer please", she was a lot like him, always innocent, always smiling and there she was begging to herself in the car crying, hoping he can just hold on a bit longer for her to be at his side.

We get to the hospital, i watched my nan walk as fast as she could, in pain to get to that room, the moment i walked in it felt like my entire world had ended in that instant, he was no longer my grandad, seeing him in that state felt like my heart had just been ripped out through my chest; he was pale, hairless, almost no muscle left on his body, his skin was a different colour, you could see his heart beating through his chest because his rib cage had twisted and changed shape, he had his eyes and mouth half open and all you could hear was struggled breaths, occasionally interrupted by a weak cough or the sound of him choking on his own tongue, his spine had broken in multiple areas from coughing, thats how frail his body had become.

It was painful, he was clearly suffering and i went through whirlwinds of anger, sadness, anger, sadness... Sad and heart broken seeing such a strong pillar of my world laying there struggling to even exist, and anger that he was allowed to stay in this state, nurses coming in to inject him or feed him medication that would only serve to keep him in this state for a little bit longer, i felt like he was being tortured in the most inhumane way for hours, he couldnt see or hear or speak by that point, just breathe and exist in pain.

Thats when family started talking, gossiping about his state and things he had done during his stay which further broke my heart, remember earlier when i said he had never sworn, never raised his voice and was effectively this gentle giant? Well i overheard my aunt, mother and grandmother talking about how he had been in such pain that he had started threatening the nurses, swearing at and insulting everyone within eyesight, begging both nurses and family to either kill him or take him somewhere where he could do it on his own terms, just typing that out brings a painful lump to my throat because to change such a gentle, loving man into that state must have meant either he was already suffering immensely, or he knew exactly bad it was going to get, it was shock after shock, emotional whiplash.

I stayed in that room for as long as i could which turned out to be 5 hours and 24 minutes, i couldnt bare a moment longer before i stood next to his bed and said my goodbyes, seeing a person you care so deeply about in such a state of suffering, staying in that room for those 5 hours had physically exhausted me, its not that i was just tired of being in the hospital, but i dont think i could have processed another second of that day without rest, so the second i got to my house i passed out in my bed, two hours later my phone was ringing and it was my brother, grandad was gone.

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