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#if they forget (or just don't wanna be like. really fucking expressive i guess-) it just says “YOU”
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have some kinitoPET content, 'cause why not
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a version with YOU
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+ a thing and a few YOU doodles
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guqwrvte · 1 year
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make it three | one
⨽ summary: everything made sense to you, until it didn’t. you expected the name of your soulmate to appear on your shoulder the day you turned twenty one. and on the day of your twenty first birthday, that happened, but instead of one name, there were three.
⨽ pairing: vminkook x reader
⨽ genre: fluff , soulmate au , slow burn (?)
⨽ warnings: mentions of alcohol consumption, tipsy reader, strong language, and i think that's it?
⨽ word count: 2,5k
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"I can't wait for this lecture to just end," You grumbled, staring at the clock on the wall.
Minus the twenty-minute break you received earlier, you had been in this lecture for three hours.
"Tell me about it." Yeonjun let out a sigh, sinking into his seat. "I'm lowkey regretting taking Crimonoly as one of my majors. I never knew Criminal Law would be so boring."
"I don't think the course is boring… I think it's the professor," you whispered.
"Alright, that's all for today, students. Please remember to submit your assignment by the end of next month. If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask me," Your Professor said, and you let out a sigh of relief, muttering a soft finally. "See you all on Wednesday."
"I think it's the fact that we have this lecture on a Monday morning that makes this course so dreadful," your friend said, getting up from his seat, and you couldn't agree more.
"It's also because it's fucking three hours long." You mumbled, packing away your notebook. "I don't know how someone can speak in a monotone voice for three hours."
"If the man had more energy when he spoke, I'd probably be awake for most of his lectures," he chuckled. "When's your next lecture?"
"Uh, it looks like I have Ethics next, at four, so I have two hours of chilling around campus," you told him.
"Aw, I have Sociology, and it's an hour," he grumbled. "Gosh, I hate Mondays." You chuckled, throwing your arm over his shoulder, bringing him into a playful headlock.
"We still have time to chill," you said, ruffling his hair. "Do you wanna go to the cafeteria? I think Yuna is done with her Cinematography lecture."
"If you don't let go of me, I'm going to throw you off," he cursed.
You only kept him in the same position walking out of the hall with a cheeky grin. Yeonjun suddenly placed his arms around your waist, beginning to tickle your sides.
You exclaimed in shock before erupting in giggles. "Stop!" You whined, trying to free yourself from his hold.
"Did you remove me from your stupid headlock?" You couldn't answer. Not while he was tickling you.
"Stop! You're going to draw unnecessary attention!" your friend finally stopped, glaring at you.
"Be glad I don't want to be seen as someone who harrases girls." You stuck your tongue out at him before skipping to the cafeteria.\
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"How was Cinematography?" You asked Yuna, your other best friend, and she shrugged.
"It was alright. I don't really have a problem with it." She said, causing Yeonjun to dramatically sigh.
"Imagine not having a problem with your morning lectures? Could never be us."
"I'm guessing Criminal Law is showing you guys flames?" She asked, and you hummed in response. "You willingly chose to study Criminology."
You sighed before turning to Yeonjun. "Junnie, please feed me," you sang, pointing to the plate of chips in his tray.
He playfully rolled his eyes, wrapping his arms around your shoulder before bringing your body close to his. "Here you go, you big baby," he said, stuffing a few chips into your mouth.
"Gosh, I feel like I'm third-wheeling," Yuna commented, looking at the two of you with a grossed-out expression. "I sometimes even forget that Yeonjun has his soulmate."
"What do you mean? y/n and I are soulmates! Not romantically, but platonically? One thousand per cent. I love this little shit with all my heart."
"Do you love me enough to leave Mingyu for me?" You playfully asked, and the male sent you a glare. "Know your place."
You and Yuna burst out laughing. "I think I should start helping you find your soulmates. If I don't… you'll eventually take me away from mine."
"Yeah, as if finding one is an easy task. Now I have to look for three," you muttered.
"Damn, sometimes I forget that you're supposed to be part of a soulmate cluster," Yuna whispered.
"I wish I could forget sometimes, but I can't. Not when I see my soulmates' initials on my shoulder daily," you whispered.
Soulmates.
Ever since your twenty-first, you dreaded the topic of soulmates. All excitement you could have possibly had of meeting your soulmate died the second you saw your shoulder.
And that was three years ago.
Finding your soulmates was a difficult task. The only thing that could help you find them was their names engraved on your shoulder. And because you had three soulmates, you had it three times harder. You had no idea where to start looking.
It's hard enough finding your soulmate when it's one person. And now you're supposed to look for three. It would've been easier if their names were written with their last, but no. The universe only gave you their first names.
"You know, if you put some effort into finding them, maybe you would've found one of them by now," Yeonjun suggested.
"And what effort do you think I'm supposed to put in when all I have is their names? I can't go and ask people for their names, and I definitely can't type them into a google search bar. For all I know, they could be commoners just like me."
"Maybe you should go out more. Like, meet new people? That's one way you can try to find them," Yuna suggested, and you groaned.
"And how do you think I'd meet people? You know my social skills are almost non-existent," you huffed, crossing your arms. "You two and Mingyu are the only friends I have!"
"How about this? Yeonjun and I will take you out tonight!" She said.
"Out?" You asked, raising a brow.
"Yeah! We'll take you out! Out to a place where you can easily meet new people!" Yeonjun.
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"I should've known these two were taking me to a club," you grumbled as Yuna dragged you to the entrance. "Why did you have to choose a club?" You asked with a raised voice.
If you could barely hear your voice while being on the outside, you guessed it would be 5 times worse on the inside.
"Because you can easily and accidentally make physical contact with anyone here!" Yeonjun said. "Anyone could find their soulmate simply by bumping hands as you make it through the crowd."
"Now, that's enough talking. Let's go inside already!" Yuna said before taking your and Yeonjun's hands and dragging you inside.
"I hate you guys!" You shouted when you saw the number of people in the room. "You know I hate crowded places!"
You hated going to places like this. You couldn't stand being in a closed space smelling of alcohol and full of drunk people rubbing against each other. You cringed as you tried to squeeze your way through the crowd of people.
"There's Mingyu!" Yeonjun said when he saw his soulmate sitting at the bar. "Mingyu, my love!"
"Hey, guys," Mingyu greeted before embracing his boyfriend.
"How could you let them bring me here, Mingyu?" You whined, sitting on the barstool next to him.
"You should let them help you," Mingyu chuckled. "Though, I don't think a club was the greatest place to start… it's still a start!"
"Exactly. Live a little, y/n. How else do you think you'll find your soulmates when all you do is stay cooped up in your apartment. I swear you only leave your house for school and food," Yuna said.
"Anyway, we're going to leave you alone now," Yeonjun said, causing your eyes to widen.
"What do you mean?"
"We brought you here to socialise and meet new people, remember?" He asked.
"Look, if we stay here and keep talking to you, there's no way you're going to try and talk to anybody else," Yuna told you, placing a hand on your shoulder. "The whole point is for you to interact with new people, y/n. With us around, you're definitely not going to do that."
You looked at Mingyu with pleading eyes, hoping he'd offer to stay with you, but he just shrugged. "These two know you better than I do. Sorry, y/n."
"Don't worry too much, y/n! I'm sure you'll make a lot of new friends!" Yeonjun winked before grabbing his soulmate's hand and dragging him to the dance floor.
You watched as your friends disappeared into the crowd of dancing people with your mouth agape.
"You have a pretty interesting bunch of friends," the bartender said, and you huffed. "Tell me about it."
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You quietly sat by yourself with a glass of pina colada in your hand as you watched the crowd jump and dance as they sang the lyrics to the song blasting through the speakers.
It seemed like everyone here was having a good time except you.
You had a few people come up to you for some small talk, but it didn't take time before they ended the conversation and danced away.
"You don't seem to be having much of a good time," a voice said, startling you.
The masked male quickly backed away from you, raising his hands in defence. "Sorry! I didn't mean to startle you!" He apologised with his voice raised now that he had put some distance between you two.
"It's okay!" You said, gesturing to the stool beside you. "You can sit next to me!"
"Can I?" He asked, and you nodded. "My name's Jimin! Park Jimin!"
"Jimin?" You asked as he sat next to you.
"Yeah. Jimin."
"Nice to meet you, Jimin. I'm y/n. _ y/n."
Although you didn't expect this conversation to last, it did.
You guys talked a lot, and the topic seemed to change every few minutes. Something about Jimin made you want to know more about him.
Throughout the entire time you two spoke, Jimin kept his mask up and beanie down, allowing you to only see his eyes.
As he talked about his recent visit to the beach, you took the time to notice how his entire appearance was mysterious. He was dressed in all black. His jacket? Black. His t-shirt? Black. His baggy jeans? Black. His boots? Black. Everything except his hair was black.
His hair was a dark blue, something you wouldn't have noticed if it weren't for the white lights coming from the bar.
"What do you do for a living?" He asked, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. "Are you a student, or are you working?"
"Oh, I'm still a student. I major in Criminology."
"Really? That's interesting. What made you decide to choose Criminology?"
"Uh, to be honest… I don't really know. Maybe it's because I grew up watching a lot of true crime. In the mind of serial killer kind of stuff," you hadn't really thought about it. "Anyway, what about you?"
"I, um, make music," he told you, and your eyes widened. "I guess you could say I dance too."
"Really?" You asked, and he hummed in response. "You make music?"
"Yeah. Uh… I make music with my friends."
"That's really cool! What genre?"
He brought his hand to scratch his nape as he shrugged. "We started as a hip-hop group, but now it's a bit of almost everything."
"Woah," you whispered. "Do you think I could listen to one of your guys' songs?" You asked.
"Actually, you've probably heard one of them playing in a store or something," your eyes widened again, and your mouth slightly fell open.
"I'm assuming you're famous? You could lie to me, and I'd believe you. I don't keep up with trending artists these days. But you could be right. There must be a reason you look like you're dressed as a spy unless that's your usual style? Oh my god, I'm sorry for rambling. I think the alcohol is getting to me. I need to stop drinking."
Jimin laughed at your behaviour. "Are you usually like this?"
You shook your head, pushing the glass away from you. "No, not at all. It's the alcohol. One hundred per cent." Jimin let out another laugh.
"Anyway, let me answer your questions. I guess you could say we're famous. And no, this isn't really my usual style. I just needed something dark for tonight."
"Ooh. That makes sense. Kind of? I don't know." Jimin couldn't help but chuckle.
In his eyes, you were funny and cute. Whoever was your soulmate must've been lucky.
"Have you found your soulmate?" He asked. The topic surrounding soulmates hadn't been brought up until now.
"Nope, that's the main reason why I'm here tonight. To meet some new people and maybe find my soulmate or one of my soulmates, to be exact."
"You're looking for your soulmate at a club?" You nodded.
"I'm not a club/party girl. My friends thought bringing me here would be a good idea. Apparently, it's the perfect place to meet new people."
"Are you supposed to be part of a cluster? You mentioned how you were looking for one of your soulmates." Jimin asked, and you nodded.
His eyes widened. "No way! Me too!"
"You're part of a cluster too!? Have you found any of your soulmates?" You asked, and he hummed.
"I've found three of the four. Still looking for our missing piece," Jimin sighed, and you couldn't help but sigh too.
"You're so lucky to have found some of them. I haven't found any of my soulmates."
"I'm only lucky because they're in my group. So I found out about their birthdays. The last one, however… I did say we're still trying to find them."
"That is really lucky. I-" Jimin raised his hand, signalling you to stop talking before pulling his phone out of his pocket and bringing it to his ear.
"Hey, love. Really? Okay, I'll leave now. I'm going to say bye to my friend first," his eyes glanced at you at the mention of a friend.
While Jimin talked on the phone, your eyes wandered around, hoping to spot one of your friends. It sounded like he was about to leave, and you didn't want to sit alone and talk to the bartender.
"Yeah, I made a friend. And yes, she seems nice. Really nice, actually. I'll talk to you at home. Love you, bye."
"Sorry about that. That was one of my soulmates. Looks like I need to go," Jimin apologised once he got off the phone.
You couldn't help but feel a little sad that your time with him was over. Something in you wanted to get to know him more. But he was apparently famous. So you weren't sure if he would even be able to?
"It's okay. I had fun talking to you!" You smiled.
"I had fun talking to you too, y/n. Uh, can I get your number before I leave? I'd love to talk to you again," Jimin asked, extending his hand with the phone.
You almost dropped his phone from the sudden shock in your body when your fingers brushed together.
"Oh my gosh," Jimin whispered, looking at his hand with wide eyes before looking at you. "I guess your friends were right. The club is the perfect place to look for your soulmate."
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previous / next / masterlist
taglist !! (inbox me or send me a message to be added) :
@bluemooncnblue ; @emu007 ; @malewife-supremacy ; @4evahevah ; @xx-sikki-nixx-xx ; @ayoo-bangtan ; @morklee02 ; @taeeflwrr ; @svrcegi ; @brit97 ; @thereaderwholovesyou ; @potaetopic ; @yoonabeo ; @doublebunv ; @daphnxy ; @jinsquishes  ; @tinyoonsblog ; @i-dont-know-me-either ; @teti-menchon0604 ; @chanscase143 ; @bangtans-momma
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mayiwritesomething · 5 days
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Don’t Change (One-Shot)
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Wordcount: 600 words
Pairing: Pedro Pascal x f!reader
A/N: just a small one-shot fluff i wrote after listening to INXS haha
It fits a while after chapter 9 from the main series, but can be read as it’s own
> MASTERLIST
——-
“What you wanna eat?” You asked as you emerged from your room’s bathroom, the steam trailing behind you like a scene from a retro sci-fi movie.
“Well…” Pedro said, lounging on your bed with a mischievous smile. “You,” he quipped, causing you to roll your eyes as he chuckled at catching you off guard. “Okay, okay, jokes aside, babe. How about pizza?” You settled onto the bed in a The Clash shirt, and Pedro ran his hands along your legs as you reached for your face serum on the counter.
“We had pizza last time,” you whined, to which he just shrugged in response. “Can we try something different this time? We've already exhausted the hotel menu, by the way,” you pointed out (there was only two more weeks filming) nestling in beside him as he absentmindedly ran his fingers over your skin.
“Are you sure?” He lifted his head to meet your slightly annoyed expression. “Well… Tacos?” he suggested tentatively, apprehensive of your reaction. “Or should we just order something from the hotel for a quicker option?”
“I don’t know,” you murmured thoughtfully. “I'm kind of over the whole lobster, beef Wellington, and all that fancy bland stuff… Gosh, how I miss my spices and my kitchen,” you joked as you stretched your arms. “But tacos sound perfect tonight. It's chilly outside, and I'm starving, so tacos it is!”
"Alright, just give me a few seconds to order the food so we can start our movie. Chicken for you?" You nodded in agreement as he grabbed his phone. While he placed the order, you applied your serum and settled back into your spot. Once he finished, he returned to your side. "I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to eat you," he teased once more.
"Oh shut up, man," you chuckled as he wrapped his arm around you, both of you trying to find a comfortable position in bed. You clicked play on the movie you had chosen.
"Pet Sematary?" he asked within the first five seconds.
"Wow, this was a quick guess," you remarked, giving him a playful look.
"I love how you're all about setting the mood with an '80s horror flick on our date night," he joked.
"Well, we can pick another one if you prefer," you said, feeling a bit foolish about your choice.
"No way, babe! I really like this one," he reassured you. You shot him a skeptical glance. "I'm serious," he insisted.
"Okay, then," you murmured, snuggling into his arm and intertwining your legs with his.
"I really dig your taste in movies, you know?" He complimented, looking at you.
"I know you do,” you laughed. “This one has a killer soundtrack," you explained, eyes fixed on the screen.
"Sometimes I forget I’m dating a fucking awesome composer," he said, cupping your face. You responded with a kiss, which he reciprocated with passion.
"Baby, let's focus on the movie for now. We can pick up where we left off later since you're staying the night," you giggled.
"Yeah, let's do that. Otherwise, it'll be Netflix and chill, but with just the chill part," he joked, as you hugged him and hummed in agreement.
"Babe?" He called out.
"What?" you responded.
"Just promise me you'll never change," he said softly.
"I won't," you assured him, planting a kiss on his forehead.
"Good to know. You're perfect just the way you are," he said, drawing you closer. You didn't know how to respond, so you simply held him tighter beneath the blanket.
"Thank you. I promise I won't change," you murmured as he pulled you in closer.
Don't change for you
Don't change a thing for me
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hikennosabo · 3 months
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#tristampparty day 9, episode 9: millions knives
i've been forgetting to tag @tristampparty in my recent posts whoopsies
so. episode 9. going to just... climb into the microwave ahead of time. get nice and cozy in there. let's. go.
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okay let's hit the start button on that microwave now mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm beep beep beep beep
uagh his fucking expressions in this scene... and him playing "his" side of the piano, then reaching to "vash's" side of the piano to play the dramatic part. it's a cry of loneliness!!! from his heart!!!! AUAHAHGHGH
i remember seeing a post a while ago pointing out that knives cutting off vash's arm means they can never play the piano together anymore and that fucking HURTS, man.
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i think we need to take the time to pay extra attention to knives's expressions... the character acting in tristamp is really good all-around
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overworking them "cuts them off"... i guess it makes them unable to maintain the connection...?
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knives touching the glass... reminds me of just before he absorbs the first plant in the manga.
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the contrast of the city lighting up beautifully with the horror of the last run... man.
wait... city...?? this... this isn't july, right? the platform/corridor they're standing on looks the same as the one meryl and roberto end up on in the second half of the episode, but the plant containers on the wall are different so i don't think this is the same place... but we started the episode in knives's piano room, which IS in (not-yet-)july, so this must be close by because the alarm went off, which i'm assuming is connected to the plants somehow...??
also wait, we don't see this level of development from the outside. like in the faraway shot when vash spots this place. am i misunderstanding. it's only been 5 years since the crash, so idk if this much development would be possible in that time BUT the guys who show up said they overloaded the plants to speed up "reconstruction," so... uhhhhh... am i missing something?! am i dumb?! 😭
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me every time knives makes an expression that hurts me deep in my heart: look!!!! look!!!!
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screencaps absolutely do not do it justice, the way his expression changes... horror, shock, grief...
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the timing of vash arriving... the cruelty of the humans, the way they talk about the plants... knives's sadness, his grief and rage--wait one of the randos gets his arm cut off
lost arm count: 6
as always i feel like there's a lot more to say but the only thing i'm feeling is my heart hurting so bad :(
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vash might be speaking for himself here, too.
hmmm, he says this, but knives dismisses it as if he doesn't believe it. i wonder... i don't think rem would lie about this... but i wonder if conrad would. lie to knives, i mean. like is knives dismissing this just because he's clinging to his own beliefs or did conrad - who i'd think would be more knowledgeable about plants than rem given his position - tell knives something else?
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AGAIN, "SINNERS" WITH THE CAPITAL S!!!
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i forget, do we see how vash got his gun in the manga? knives gave him his gun in 98, too. interesting that knives is the one who gives vash his weapon in at least 2 out of 3 canons...
hmmm. in the manga, this scene was when knives learned about the black hair thing and drastically changed his plan, deciding he needed to absorb plants. here, though, it seems knives was already planning the higher dimension connection stuff, although he hadn't put it into motion yet. because the plants here are just... being used normally (""normally""), not stored for future higher dimension connection purposes or absorption purposes. knives does still "change his plan," though, i think, when he realizes vash won't cooperate with him. i wonder if/when we'll get the black hair reveal in tristamp. i wanna see knives with his black streak.
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conrad and luida know each other... luida DID mention conrad by name last ep, but considering his position it wouldn't be that weird for her to know of his existence without actually knowing him, but no, they actually know each other...
ugh, when knives tells vash to kill luida, he's asking vash to choose between humans and plants, and it just hurts because. knives and luida are both his family. he loves them both.
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wait knives with the lace up knee high boots... the drip...
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this is the face he makes right before he gives way to anger. man.
he sees rem in luida and lashes out... vash saw rem in her too... ugh. my heart.
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going frame by frame again and knives has a bandage on his arm... why? it doesn't seem to be part of his outfit, he doesn't have one on the other arm. there's on on his right leg too, under the boot?? why...
also i like how knives rides the pull of gravity to get close enough to cut vash's arm off. that's a fun detail
lost arm count: 7
the difference in context of knives cutting off vash's arm in tristamp vs trimax... it's a canyon... a canyon of difference...
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once again screencaps don't do the character acting justice, the microexpressions he makes... the disbelief, the shaky laugh... he's about to cry. vash couldn't point the gun at luida. but he points it at knives. and then he stands up and turns away, and the way his voice shakes?? dude. he's crying.
but also why does he say it'll take a century to build a world of plants? where is he getting that number from? later in the episode, zazie says that a century is nothing to plants, but knives is like. six. a century would probably still feel like it'd be a long time to him. is that his own personal estimate of how long it'll take to execute his plan? is it conrad's?
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wolfwood doesn't react at all when brad says this. funny, but also why.
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i hope they can. i hope they can make up. (<- crying screaming and throwing up)
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reminds me of vash saying he'll save knives in 98. im gonna throw up
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IM GONNA THROW UP!!!!!
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it's so weird that ZAZIE is the one explaining earth. like they know a LOT about it, huh? what it looks like, what the life on it looks like (looked? should i be using past tense?)... who told them all this? knives? conrad? this isn't common knowledge either, even honors student meryl doesn't know anything about earth. but why? a lot of knowledge was lost when the ships crashed, and time has passed, but... why would the state of earth and the reasons for the colony ships not even be taught in school? the survivors from when the ships crashed were FROM earth. (well, i guess some of them might have been born in space, but...?) did they not teach their descendants about what happened? were they ashamed? or is this another thing that conrad/EoM/whoever is suppressing information about - and if THAT'S the case, why?
uuaaaghhh i'm writing this post late again and it's 3am and i can't think. sorry this was mostly incomprehensible screaming
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Omgs how about mafia gojo x fem reader????
For most of your adult life, you've been called the unluckiest lucky bastard that ever lived.
Yours is a city run by the mob, they own most of the force, and the two competing leaders regularly go out of their way to fuck each other.
One is rather open about his life, his identity: Sukuna.
The other is rather more secretive, and goes only by The Six Eyes.
It's this man that decides just how lucky you are.
As a child of ten, you pushed a little boy out of the road, avoiding a moving vehicle. These days you can guess that you'd interfered with a mob hit, at the time, you thought you'd just saved a boy.
Younger than you, possessing the most striking blue eyes you've ever seen and hair as pure white as fresh snow.
Gojo Satoru, The Six Eyes.
For saving his life, Satoru put you on top of the "no touch" list. The mob not only didn't mess with you, they'd go out of their way to protect you.
After years of drive-by's missing you by inches, bank robberies leaving you untouched, you've grown into a rather exasperated individual.
You rarely visit the boss himself, as he's always telling you, he just doesn't have time, and as a single woman with a full time job, neither do you; but after the month's 19th incident, you have words for the snowman.
'Gojo, what the fuck do you call that?!' You barked, stepping out of the golden elevator leading into his penthouse.
The man himself is folded onto his antic loveseat, swirling a glass of brandy. 'Look who finally decided to drop in. I'm surprised it took this long to get your attention, doll.'
'Oh you sure as shit got my attention, you ass.' Lips pressed in a thin line, you dropped into the arm chair across from him. 'Nineteen? What the fuck did you want from me that you couldn't just send someone to the apartment.'
'You said you didn't want me to do that.' He pouted childishly, big blues peeking over the round edges of his sunglasses.
Who the fuck wears sunglasses at 10pm?
Gojo freaking Satoru.
'Since when do you do what I say?'
'So... you want me to send the boys to pick you up whenever I wanna see you?'
'Hell no! You seem to forget I have a job to work. Already got me fired once.'
Gojo taps his chin, faking a thought. If you know anything about him, he doesn't do much thinking on the spot. He plans, thinks ahead, and it's infuriatingly efficient.
'I have a solution,' smug grin in place, painfully, utterly charming, he slides his glasses down the bridge of his nose. 'Just gimme your number.'
'Fuck you.'
'Feel free.'
You roll your eyes, he doesn't mean it, he's never meant it. Gojo had been your first, and you swore you'd never touch him like that again with the way he treated you back then. You were both young and dumb, but he was younger, and dumber.
These days, you'd like to think you know better, even if he still doesn't look a day over twenty.
'No, you know why.' Your jovially exasperated tone drops, replaced with just how tired you are of this game. 'Stop with the games. I'm going home.'
Before you can even take a step, Gojo is on his feet, tall frame towering over you. 'Wait, please don't leave.'
Did he just...did he just say please?
Eyes going wide, you gaped up at the most genuine expression of heartbreak you've ever seen. Glasses discarded, he looks you straight in the eye as if he can peer into your very soul.
'I'm...sorry. I know I fucked up when we were kids, I know I'm the damn mob boss and you don't want anything to do with me or this life.' Big hands tremble as he takes hold of each of yours, never have you seen him look so shaken. 'I should let you go, I should have let you go back then... but I can't. No one's ever going to replace you, and I'm a selfish bastard who won't take no for an answer.
A lie? A manipulation, all to get back in your pants because he sees you as a challenge all over again?
Maybe, is there really any way to tell?
'Please, I'll give you the whole damn world.' He pleads, cupping your cheek painfully gently. 'Please, please stay.'
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bonesandthebees · 9 months
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I just got around to reading the new chapter, so here’s random reactions I saved in my notes so I wouldn’t forget (two parts)
(Wilbur tried to imagine what Phil would say. How Phil would look at him after he learned what he did.)
Wf flashbacks I might re-read the fight scene again
(“Like, I thought I could read you pretty well even with the blindfold on, but now it’s, like, too easy but not at the same time.”)
It’s because he’s so expressive but has a permanent sad face that masks everything else :((((
(“I mean you kinda look like you’re about to start crying, but you also look like you just took a shot of moontane and you’re trying not to be a pussy about it but you really wanna spit it out.”)
LMFAOOOO
(“If we go to Jack’s room are we gonna find out he’s gone missing in the middle of the night?” Techno tried to joke.)
HELP I love techno, you always capture his one liners so well, and they’re always so hilarious
(Wilbur couldn’t blame him. He didn’t want to look at his own face either right now.)
I don’t even have words for this part but it stood out to me. I feel like Spruce is my new matpat, and whenever I see a line that looks like it could be significant I turn to them to tell me what it is immediately. Thankfully we’re working with religious trauma rather than dead children this time.
(“Because I want to talk to the Pythia alone,” Phil said, carefully watching him as he said his title.)
So no sandduo?? *throws phone* 😾 /j
(His breathing hitched as he cut himself off, the blood roaring louder in his ears. He wrapped his arms around his chest, gasping as he fought for air. - “I just feel so fucking useless,” He murmured, curling in further on himself. - but it has to be me. I’ve failed at my purpose for existing,)
WILB,,,,,
The angst is delicious but at what cost
Reminds me of the only time I ever ate in New Jersey. We went to Olive Garden, I ordered one of my favorite foods, I ate too much, puked it all up, got back to the table and wanted more of it bc it was really good food. Then we left NJ.
(“But that’s what I’m supposed to do,” he whispered. “That’s what I was created for.”)
I- I don’t even know what to say,,, these two sentences fill me with so many emotions
(“I can’t tell you much right now, but it won’t be long before things start moving very quickly.)
Oh???
(know m-” - your name?”)
YOUR NAME?? LIKE STRI-💥💥💥
But also yes wilbur it’s /your/ name 😭😭
(I might not know your name)
Is he gonna,,, do I dare hope
(Phil gave him a small smile. “You’ll tell me when you’re ready, mate.”)
IS HE
Dammit
I do 100% believe that Phil is next on the name reveal list though
Watch me say that and the next person will be someone I didn’t expect at all, like Ponk or Sam or something
(1/2)
- 🪐
hello hello ty for the reactions these are always fun
well it's partly that he looks very sad without the blindfold bc he just has Sad Victorian Child Eyes but also tommy has learned how to read him with half his face covered. now he gets too much information at once compared to what he's used to dealing with, so he's second guessing his own judgement because he doesn't know how wilbur shows emotion through his eyes. does that make sense? idk. I'm tired. I wrote over 3k words today.
lol thank you I have so much fun with techno's one liners. so many fics make him super serious which is such a missed opportunity bc techno cracks jokes all the time in canon!! let him make awkward one liners it's a very important part of his character
LMAO yes ty spruce for pointing out so many important lines
i'm sorry you puked at a NJ olive garden but also the irony there is that the last time I ate an olive garden was also when I was in NJ. I also don't live in NJ.
he'll tell phil when he's ready :)
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mango-fizz · 9 months
Note
16 and 22 with, Shiver of course :)
why did u give me the hardest questions djfhsjfbsjrhwnfbsb ok for 22 shiver's lowest point is whatever the fuck happened here
second for number 16 i dont know if i have any childhood hcs ? honestly? i think theres some backstory stuff but idk how much is canon and how much is fanon, but one hc i do have is that shiver's tentacles were longer when they were younger and they cut them. i think thats it sjfhsjdhsbd i did write this one vent fic a while ago ahaha i guess it could count as a hc ! (???)
"Hey, Shiv!" Frye hoists herself up and sits cross-legged on the windowsill. 
Shiver is at her desk sobbing into her hands.
Frye frowns. "You good?"
Shiver looks up at her through her tentacles, face scrunched up and streaked with tears. She starts crying again at Frye's expression and buries her face in her arms. 
Frye furrows her eyebrows. She lowers herself from Shiver's window and approaches the desk. The paper closest to her is marked with a big red 96%. Frye recognizes it as the essay assignment from last week.
She spots another one, this one marked 82%. Another, 91%. Lastly, the paper in front of Shiver is half-written, somewhere along the first body paragraph, but it's hard to tell with them sobbing all over it.
"It's awful," they blubber. 
"But all of these are good, though."
"No, they're not! I've never written a worse essay in my life."
Frye briefly skims the papers. "Looks pretty good to me. You got good grades on all of these."
Shiver pulls at their tentacles, "No. I hate it, I hate writing essays so much. I knew I would be struggling with this class but I didn't think it'd be like this." They press their forehead against the surface of the desk. "It didn't used to be this difficult. I didn't used to struggle like this. I was always just… good at everything."
Frye doesn't really know what to say to that. Luckily, she doesn't have to, because Shiver keeps going. She sits next to them patiently.
"I was good at everything, so I never had to try. And now I'm actually struggling, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to do this," Shiver gestures at the paper in front of her.
"A-and- and I feel terrible for thinking that way, y'know? I feel lazy. I feel so fucking disappointed in myself. I didn't used to be this lazy. But if I really was lazy, it wouldn't bother me this much, right?"
She wipes her eyes. "My mom wants me to take more difficult classes. Where they make me write more essays. And I hate writing essays more than anything. But she keeps saying I have so much potential, and that I can do it if I just try," her voice cracks. Frye hands her a tissue. She accepts it gratefully.
"She says I can do it if I just try, but I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of the expectations. I'm tired of always feeling like I'm just waiting to disappoint someone. I just want to be average for once. We argue a lot about this, and that makes me feel worse."
"I don't think you necessarily have to be the best. It's okay to just be you," Frye smiles encouragingly and pats her arm.
Shiver sniffs. "Thanks." 
"It's also okay to not want to take harder classes. I mean, no one wants to, so I totally get you," she adds with a giggle. "Tons of people don't take em, and they turn out fine."
"But I'm not just anybody, Frye. I'm-- I'm perfect--"
"Nuh uh! None of that!" She grabs Shiver by the shoulders. "You'll be fine. You don't wanna take hard classes? That's fine! You don't wanna write essays? That's fine too! I don't either! So please don't be too hard on yourself. You're only looking out for your health, I promise you're not disappointing anyone. We'll figure it out, okay?"
Shiver nods.
"Speaking of which, we're gonna be the freshest new band in the Splatlands, so who cares what your mom says!? You don't need essays to be cool!" Frye pumps her fists in the air. Shiver smiles slightly.
"Thanks, Frye. I appreciate it, really." 
Frye smiles back. "That's what friends are for, right? Now c'mon. Forget those papers and let's go practice our vocals." She gets up and rips one of the sheets in half.
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whumpshaped · 2 years
Note
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i see your idea and i raise you:
both
seth makes pumpkin eat both the old fingie and the new one.
why does seth have to take a new finger? cruelty thats why.
today i woke up and chose violence against pumpkin
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so this took seven thousand years as well and i didnt even tick all the boxes- sorry
trigger warnings: forced autocannibalism, humiliation, dehumanization, pet whump, conditioning, manipulation, gore, blood, restrained, emeto, crying, begging, cutting off a finger, wishing for death
"What do you say we cut off another one?" Seth slammed Pumpkin's hand down, flat against the table. The poor thing was wailing, barely coherent in their begging to be let off the hook. They'd already lost a finger, they'd been tricked into eating it later, they did not want any more of that experience.
"P-Please, please, Sir, no, please, please don't, don't do this, please, it hurts so much, please..." They struggled weakly against their owner's hold on their wrist, but ultimately they were helpless to stop themself getting strapped down once more. "I'll do anything, anything, please!"
Seth grabbed them roughly by the face, his fingers digging into Pumpkin's delicate skin. It was going to bruise later. "Anything? Yeah? Well, I want this. So why don't you shut that mouth of yours and behave?"
"I b-behaved last t-time," they stammered, all the defiance evaporating from their body now that Seth was so close, and so intimidating. "Please, I behaved, Sir, p-please... n-not again..."
"Pumpkin... Dear, stupid little Pumpkin..." Seth smiled, without an ounce of happiness, rather out of amusement and condescension. "Do you really think that behaving once gets you a get out of jail for free card? Or that once I've done something to you, I'll never ever do it again?" He let them go and knocked on their head a few times, his underlying annoyance apparent by the way the knocks hurt more with each one. "It's fucking hollow, isn't it?"
Pumpkin bit their lip and looked away, both too afraid and ashamed to keep arguing. They didn't want to lose another finger. They'd never wanted to lose one at all, it was too far, too permanent, too terrifying, but still, they'd let Seth do it. And now he wanted to do it again.
"Well, I guess that was a little rude." They blinked away the tears, cautiously glancing up at Seth. Was he... apologizing? That had never happened before. "I got overexcited to do this," they continued, running a hand through their hair. "But really, I shouldn't forget that the whole reason I'm able to is because you made good on your promise and came here."
Pumpkin's eyes lit up, the smidgen of acknowledgement making their heart beat even faster than the knife in Seth's hand. "I, I'm s-sorry, I- it wasn't rude, y-you're right, I should've... I should've never questioned you, Sir, I'm sorry... I, I came here to- to let you do whatever you wanted, r-right? So... so it really didn't make sense..."
Seth couldn't have stifled the Cheshire cat grin if he wanted, it was all just too easy. "Don't worry about it. Let's get this over with and forget about the rest."
Except that was as much of a lie as anything else coming out of his mouth. Because as soon as that finger was severed, as soon as Pumpkin began to hope it'd be all over, Seth got another idea. Because apparently it wasn't enough to replicate that part, he wanted to replicate the aftermath. Make it even worse.
"Wanna try it raw this time?" He picked up the bloody finger like it was an average, everyday object, grinning at their already shocked and freaked out pet. "I know I ground and cooked it last time, but really, I'm curious as to what it's like without all that."
"No, no no no no no no no, please, please, you said-"
"And you said you came here to let me do whatever I wanted."
Pumpkin looked horrified, rightfully so. Even the remaining colour drained from their face at Seth's completely serious and expectant expression, because they couldn't, they couldn't do that. That was disgusting, repulsive, they couldn't, couldn't put that in their mouth, there was no way, they couldn't-
The sounds became distorted and muffled as they kept fixating on the bloody mess in Seth's hand. They suddenly felt dizzy. It might've been the blood loss, or maybe the experience itself, they couldn't tell. They somehow managed not to throw up immediately as they touched it - when did they reach for it? - taking one last look at Seth's blurry face for confirmation through the curtain of tears.
They really were holding their own severed finger. It didn't feel all that weird, it felt like a prop, like it was all fake and the blood was nothing but strawberry jam from their dead grandma's kitchen cabinet. She had scolded them so much for taking it and using it as fake blood back in the day, she'd said it was wholly inappropriate and a horrible waste of food.
Strawberry jam.
Chewy.
Their teeth hit something hard.
They couldn't do it.
Pumpkin threw the severed digit on the ground and threw up, their head pounding so bad they thought they were going to pass out. The room was spinning, all they wanted to do was fall off the chair and hit their stupid, empty head hard enough on the concrete to never wake up again, but with their wrist still secured to the table, that was unlikely to happen.
Seth said something, it sounded like an order, but they couldn't make it out. They were slapped once, twice, but his face just wouldn't come into focus, and the memory of that thing in their mouth was too vivid, they couldn't cover their mouth before they threw up all over him.
Even with the one remaining thread that was connecting them to reality, they could tell that was a bad move; still, the fear was toned down, like someone had dialed it down with the rest of their thoughts and emotions.
A heavy thud, distant ringing in their ears, and everything went black.
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gothellewoods · 1 year
Note
Hey bud uh
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what (impressed and surprised)
My freshman year at college (I'm a senior now), some guy, let's call him Jay, in the grade above me started recruiting a group of people mostly from my foundations class. Most people found this guy relatively charming, some found him a little creepy. I'm a bit of a recluse irl I guess, so I stuck to my 1 college friend and my boyfriend at the time. That group all seemed very clique-y and I didn't wanna get in the middle of it.
Anyway, one day my friend comes up to me and my bf, and asks if we get any off vibes from that group. She says she checked out Jay's facebook page and there were a bunch of pictures of guns and weird stuff. Real school shooter shit. I'm feeling creeped out, but this is the point where my bf reveals that, at the beginning of the year, 2 of Jay's friends had approached him.
So, my ex was Italian. In a class, he had briefly expressed an interest in ancient roman history. 2 members of Jay's... group... approached him. They tried to recruit him to join them by saying "actually, the Roman empire was a lot like the third reich!" He didn't know what the fuck to say to that so he started avoiding them.
After hearing this, my friend and I are now like, really concerned. She tries reporting it to the school, but without any proof, they won't do shit. This is when we begin investigating
In the meantime, Jay's friends have all started drafting a manifesto in our foundations class. With my ex's help we start spying on them. They're talking about getting matching tattoos. When interacting with his clique they seem to either believe it's a nazi thing or a sex thing depending on who you ask. Some claim both! Some of them literally start calling it a cult. One day, we get lucky. They leave the foundations studio and forget a sheet of their draft on the table. It's handwritten and had a bunch if weird anti e-girl shit in it. We turn this into the school and hope they'll take care of it.
Anyway, as we're pushing for the school to do something, the pandemic hits. We lose track of the situation for a bit. None of us know what happened. A lot of people leave over the pandemic, and when we come back we realize literally none of the people involved in Jay's cult have returned, including Jay himself. My friend tries to ask the school about what happened, but they won't tell her shit, and we were too scared to go up and ask anyone to see if they knew because like. We don't wanna get on their bad side publicly, you know? Who knows what Jay's capable of if he's still around. I go three years without any answers.
Yesterday I finally talked to someone who was in Jay's class and described the cult situation without naming any names. She immediately knew who I was talking about, but she had no idea about the cult. She said she wasn't remotely surprised, considering he was apparently very into racial hierarchy pseudoscience (which is surprising since he's korean?). He was also obsessed with David Bowie's last album, and was trying to get his cult to all get matching black star tattoos. Which yeah, that all tracks.
According to her, he got expelled for sexual harassment (or possibly worse) after a string of reports against him, and he was then institutionalized! I can't say what happened to the people in my foundations class, but I can say it's very suspicious every single person involved in his group hasn't been seen around campus since Jay's expulsion. My guess is that they were all expelled at the same time and the school just doesn't wanna say anything about it because they don't want the whole nazi cult thing going public?
Anyway without him and his cult here, my cohort ended up being very fun and drama free!
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here2bbtstrash · 1 year
Note
hey there<3 i'm sending this as an anonymous because there will be a lot of expressing emotions in here which i'm not used to doing.. so it's gonna be weird to me if i reread it again after you post it..🫶🏼
ahhh i don't know where to start honestly.. i've installed this app without knowing what's ahead of me.. especially getting to know new people, it was an unexpected thing. i thought i would be a silent reader, i've always been one.
the reason why i even installed tumblr is because i wanted to follow mimi - you probably know her. i had no idea how to use this app nor how this broken site works😭 but i never knew i would be so lucky💜
one day, i opened the app, and one of your works (a popular hobi fiction 👀) was at the top of the page. it had like 3k notes i guess? so i decided to read it and it was truly amazing<3 and that's where the journey began!!
and then i commented on one of your posts and then you were like: 'welcome', something like that. i mean you did welcome me and it was so nice of you!? that's when i knew that you're a very sweet person!<3 you gave a very good first impression 😏😊
i went ahead and took a look at your blog, everything about it. and when i knew that you identify yourself as queer, i smiled so hard😭 i mean i am straight, but something about queers hits different, i really genuinely love them. (and no please don't think i'm creepy 👀)
anyways, and that's when i decided to start reading your fictions!! i read 90% of them and if i started to talk about how good your writing is it would take hours to just describe the beauty of it. so let's just say it's perfect<3
your style of writing brings comfort to me, even if it's just porn. i really don't care if it's angsty, fluffy, smutty,... it just comforts me in a way that can't be described, at least by me because i suck at these things :')
you're the type of person who i wish i could meet one day<3 i didn't only read your fictions, i saw when you felt tired, unmotivated, sad, even confused in some asks and i wished i could hug you and make you smile. because i once was sad and you were there for me. i vented, and you listened.. you even said things to me that i will never ever forget in my whole life. i still look at them in my screenshots whenever i feel down and that one reason can truly show why i love you so much 💜
i still remember when you started the process of writing TSOYB, and then at some point you thought it was shit ☹️ but then it was drop day and i got to read a magnificently written fiction and it was obvious how much you had worked for it to turn out this way!! i was so proud of you (and i still am!💜) because you didn't fucking give up even when you felt it was trash. you trusted the process and i learnt a lesson from you. because i'm a perfectionist, so if i don't do something correctly at the first time, i start to think i'm literally useless and all of the overthinking shit starts again blah blah. so now whenever i even think to overthink 😭 i remember someone like you exists💜 i remember your words. you helped me em💜
ah i don't know what else to say.. there's still like too many emotions i wanna express but i just don't know how to do that.
god i just love you with all my heart, you don't even have an idea about my gratefulness towards you. and to god who gave me a chance to know such a wonderful person!!💜💜
like namjoon once said: "i wish there was a better word than 'love'. i really truly love you. please know that."
(and please please if there was any type of weirdness in this i'm so sorry it's 2:48! am!)
omg anon 🥺 this is so overwhelmingly sweet i don't even know how to respond!!!! i'm gonna stick it under a cut so this isn't a million years long hahaha 💜
i'm so glad you managed to find me - bless party on you for blowing up lmao 🙏 and glad you felt welcomed!! the more people that follow the harder it gets for me to keep up with everyone personally, but i do really try to make sure everyone feels welcome here 🥺 (except bigots 👹) - it's important to me to curate a safe chill space where we can all just read porn and have fun lmao!
LOL NOT QUEERS HIT DIFFERENT that's so fucking funny akhglksjrgsjfkg can confirm we do 😌
gahhhhh you're so kind about my writing thank you thank you 🫠 i think this is probably my favorite compliment to get, that people feel comforted by my work. it's brought me a lot of comfort to write and to establish this little blog, so the fact that i can share that with others is truly priceless!!
and omg 🥺 you got to see the process work in real-time!! that's so wild. i really do think i hit a bottom on pretty much every fic i write (sometimes i'm more vocal about it on tumblr, sometimes less) where i just feel like ugh, this sucks, it's never gonna be good, i should give up. and part of the writing process is just pushing through that - which is really hard for me because i am also a perfectionist!! but you're so right. sometimes you just have to trust the process and do whatever it is anyway, even when every word feels like a struggle!
this was such a sweet note to receive 😭 i'm sorry it took me so long to respond!! but i didn't want to half-ass a reply either since you took the time to share your thoughts and be so vulnerable. that really means the world to me! i love you a lot and i hope you're having a wonderful new year so far 💜 and i'm always here if you need me!!
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ducknotinarow · 3 months
Note
2k3 Raph 2k12 Casey - #
send me “#” for cell phone headcanons about our muses including:  
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"Man thought this was all over with tired of ya being up in my business here. Whatever jus' the other Casey anyway. Definitely gave my Casey a run for his money when it comes to bein' a whackjob of course. He might have even less brain cells than my Casey dose and 'hats scary. I don't envy mini Raph one bit on havin' ta basically handle 'em."
 - what your muse’s name is in mine’s phone             'Nut Case'        
"Like I said 'his kid majorly got some screws lose in that head of his. Must taken way more hits to the head. Mini Raoh told me he got a metal plate in his head once when the guy complained about his head hurting, yeah I buy it. So seemed a fitting name sides it would gotten well awkward if I didn' make sure his name was different from Casey's in my phone. They end up next to each other...and I aint always that aware most times when I'm texting Casey. Bad enough the nut case hit me up with a look...and we don't gotta add fuel to the fire there. I know my self so I know mini Raph wouldn't take that well at all."
- what your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone
[Image description]  clearly out up on the roof tops, from the look of city lights in the background. You can just about make out the sight of Casey and mini Raph in the background of the photo. The picture cropped so it centered on to the other Casey instead. Dawning his 'gear' the face paint and all. As they seem too be just gazing out there's something about the express he's wear as his hand is positioned to pull down the hockey mask he doubled up on the skull motif he seems to be working with here. Or so to cover his face before Casey or his own Raph notice the expression on his face.          
"Wanna know what blows my mind more 'han the fact there are all these other worlds an' such? 'hat in a whole other world, where Case an' I seem ta meet in a whole different way have a whole different relationship nearly even. 'hat Casey is still Casey." Raph states Looking at the photo himself. "When I met my Casey, think he got to a good point of keepin' stuff to himself. Nut Case? I don' think he's learned to do 'hat yet..hope he never dose. I dunno think it's funny this kid to me is far from being anythin' 'ike my Casey yet I can tell from this look alone how much he misses home. I can tell he's acttin' cool under the situation but that look? he worried. Dunno if it's cause i'm Raph I jus' know that junk or if cause he Casey though."              
- what your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone      
A bad Idea by Michelle Creber                  
You can think that I’m insane But I'm not backing down again Find myself, fulfill my fate Hello, hello
Standing on the edge I'll claim The world will not forget my name Cause I don’t wanna hear you when you say Hello? It's a bad i- Hello? It's a bad idea
   "Yeah I really think 'his kids insane but when has a Casey I know ever been sane and have a good idea even?" Theres still a faint smile to his beak when he makes this remark despite his own words though. "Eh Kid might be a nut, and out there even compared to my own Casey, but eh what can I say crazy hot heads who don't back down easy if at all? Eh I got soft spot I guess for 'hat kind person. Sides 'his kid is real good with 'hat hockey stick of his when he ain't fuckin' around maybe he will make a name of his one day. In whatever way 'hat ends up bein' we'll see."
 - my muse’s last text to your muse
[text] Tell that jack as of a boy friend of mine if he don' fuckin' answer my call in the next five mintues it aint dragons that are getting thier ass beat tonight!
------
(sent from 12 raphs phone)
[text] he mini Raph distracted helping out my bro Don
[text] might be a while till he can answer ya u-u
[text] the fuck are these face things? 0-0
-----
[text] ya know you an can still got dragon hunting if ya up for it
[text] i'll be there either way so if ya wanna just meet me at the usual spot Case and I showed ya two
-----
[text] see ya kid, mini me really got his hands full with ya
[text] nah i think ya good for him actually, course I can tell
[text] if ya ever need help speaking Raph? well ya got my number
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diaryoftheunidropout · 6 months
Text
DAY 237
Days pass and it seems shit doesn't get better. In fact, it might even get worse. Also, I love how I randomly remember this account.
First things first, my mom has been in the psych ward for a week now. It stops her ED from getting too out of hand, but the real problem is her body image issues. That's what's causing the ED and it REALLY doesn't feel like the ooddles of doctors, psychiatrists, therapists and so on at the hospital seem to realize, or care, somehow. They also prescribed her with new antidepressants which she's having an allergic reaction to, but they say it's "normal" and are going to increase the dose. I hate them. I hate them so much and that's why I'd never want to go to the psych ward. They do the bare fucking minimum like feeding you and cleaning your room which are things you often can't do yourself anymore when you end up there, but they don't actually help you get better so when you go back into the world you can look after yourself again. Maybe I'm too harsh on them, and I'm sorry.
For my part, things are really shitty. I haven't gotten out of bed in 6 days now. I have had a pretty bad cold for a week too, so that'll justify it. Seriously, the truth is I'm going through a really bad depressive episode. It started about a week after I quit my job (so around the 25th of September I guess) and it hasn't left me since (we're the 3 of November right now). Most of the times I got out of bed were because I was seeing my relatives (I spent a week at my grandparents's and at my mom's, I saw my godmother a couple of times). My uni "friends" have completely given up on me and have straight up stopped inviting me to all their little parties and hangouts. I decided I didn't want to celebrate my "uni best friend" 's birthday anymore and came up with an excuse. I'm really disappointed in them. Or maybe I'm disappointed in myself because I should have been the one trying to organize stuff with them. But when you know they've created a groupchat with just the three of them, for some reason, and that was about as soon as I dropped out, you know you're not really part of the team anymore. I wonder if when my "best friend" doesn't walk fast enough compared to the two other girls, they just leave her behind like they did when we hung out the 4 of us, except I'd always slow down and wait for my "best friend" so she wouldn't be alone. I wonder.
These past 6 days, I don't really know what I've been doing except binge watch the last 3 or 4 seasons of BoJack Horseman. I absolutely ADORED this show. It's beyond what words can express. I've also started to develop a strange interest for dolls, specially the new Monster High dolls and Rainbow High/Shadow High dolls. It's okay, I'm going through a little phase and it brings me some comfort. I've also started reading Macbeth since I'm seeing the play in London in December.
All I pray for is winning the lottery. Whenever I don't forget, I play. I usually don't win much, but I play and I pray. Because I don't see how else I could get out of the deep. Just thinking about getting a job makes me feel an even greater amount of crippling anxiety and depression than I already have to bear every day. I've sort of convinced myself I deserved to have this little miracle happen to me because with all the shit I've been through, there is no one that could save me, not even myself, not doctors, not family. All that could save me would be becoming a millionaire and never having to worry about finding a job and losing my freedom, all of that to barely earn anything anyway. If I were a millionaire I could finally be sure I'll always have a roof above my head.
Lately I've lost the will to do things. I don't wanna celebrate my birthday. What is there to celebrate? It's gotten so bad that, although for a few months getting ready to see BTR tour in Europe was my top one priority in life, it's something I can barely find interest in anymore. When I think I probably won't be able to afford doing the whole tour I think "whatever", even though a couple of weeks ago I would have cried at the mere thought of not doing the whole tour. Things are changing quick. I'm losing interest in everything, nothing gets me excited. The BTR side of Twitter is hella toxic, you'll get cancelled over anything by a bunch of hypocrites.
I'd like to go back to the gym but I don't have the money, nor the will anymore. I've been asking for social aids (which I have the right to) but they're not giving me anything.
I don't have much else to say. I hope next time I write here things are a little better. I doubt they'll be, but I hope, still.
See you later :)
"Mr Blue I told you that I loved you
Please believe me..."
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coyotehusk · 8 months
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long vent/ramble; cw mental health, suicide, self harm
I'll be okay, just really want to word vomit. Feel free to scroll past.
I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I will always be a loser. That is my place. That is where I belong.
I'm getting therapy, and I'm on meds, but my brain just keeps saying, "you're not good enough. You'll never be good enough. Nobody likes you. You don't belong. You're dirty and filthy and a waste of space. Uneducated. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb."
I'm so fucking vanilla that it's embarrassing that I try to even put myself out there. Bland and unoriginal. Too lazy to off myself. Too tired to fix myself.
I remember one time in junior high, I was expressing to a friend that I felt depressed, and he told me, "You have no idea what depression is." And that really stuck with me. He must have been right. I was never depressed. Just a little sad. I'm always wrong. Can't get anything right.
And now my brain just keeps mumbling, "you should just kill yourself."
I get so excited when people like my work, because for years my irl friends always acted so fucking weird about it. I could tell they didn't like it. That they were just being polite when I showed them what I was working on. And now I see how ya'll tag my art, and I'm kinda just, shocked and happy. But isn't that vain? Like, good lord, Coyote, humble yourself.
Obviously, the chemicals aren't mixed right in my brain. And I'll probably feel better tomorrow. I'll stop reading things and thinking, "Oh, wow, I do that. I'm so fucking annoying." Pitty party. Pitty party.
Shut up, already. Stop talking.
We don't talk in my family. Nobody talks about the trauma we endured as kids. My brother blames me for my father's abuse. I'm the baby of the family, so that makes a whole lotta sense, I guess. It was only recently that one of my other brothers briefly opened up about how he was treated by my mom and dad. Only took a few decades. When I told them that I'm tired of feeling this way and that I finally got help after getting to the point of feeling like I should just kill myself, they all said, oh. We had no idea.
How could you, though? We don't talk.
One of my brothers is dead. Hung himself from his ceiling fan. I remember thinking at the funeral, "Can't believe you beat me to it." Was I going to be next? Is that how I would do it too? Just like him? Like my aunt? I don't know because I don't ever get to the point. I don't want to get to that point.
I was only a cutter for a hot second (much preferred hitting myself with objects or my fists), but boy does it sound nice. I'm tired of this body anyway. It's trash. But then I think of all the self harm forms I lurked on, people slicing themselves to the muscle. Gaping and flapping their flesh. (Her name was Flooding. I'll never forget that.) Competing with each other. Who can cut deeper? Cut more? Who can shed/collect the most blood? Sometimes I even have intrusive thoughts of sticking my hands in Michael Miracle, the guillotine cutter. But I don't have the fucking guts. Nor do I have health insurance. So.
Who am I as a person? I don't know. Nobody, I guess. Somebody who draws fictional shōnen men kissing and blood. There are people who probably think I have a fetish for queers. Who think I'm a pervert and freak because I draw porn. Who think I'm an edge lord wanna be because I paint a few blood splatters and call it a day. Yeah, yeah. I probably am all those things. My whole life, people have told me who I am. Maybe they are right. I mean, what the fuck do I know?
I'm like tired, ya know? Overwhelmed. Overstimulated.
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hollowpillow · 2 years
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╔═.✾. ═  LOG *** :  Shego  |  cisfemale , she/her  |  28 years old.
Just spotted SHEGO around town.  Our records show that they remember [everything] from their source : kim possible (disney).   They were first spotted in december 2021 and our best guess is that their last memory is a glimpse of herself in the mirror as she walks out of the room, knowing that this time, she won.  Archivists watching them state that they still have the not your baby, manicurerd nails tapping on the countertop, raised eyebrows lacing your tongue with poison aesthetics vibe about them.
━  from Armes E. Sallow’s  personal archives. ═.✾. ═╝
↳・゜ana de armas .
↳・゜pita (she/her). 25+. cest.
↳・゜When Shego came to Sallow Hills, she was overdue a fresh start. Without the sign of any red-headed, meddling heroes, or her former “boss”, she figures this place is as good as any place to figure out who she wants to be, and how she wants to do it. She’s been living her for a few months now, taking her time to settle into life here. At least it’s never boring at Sallow Hills. For a living, she’s a part-time bartender at The Drowned Prince, and part time as quite possibly the meanest personal trainer at Brân’s - but she does get results.
↳・゜interview. ━━━ transcribed on : 2 february 2022.
If you sit, you drink. Paying customers only.
ARMES: You asked me to come here, Shego, for your interview re-
Don't care. Rules. Drink. What are you having, and don't waste my time.
ARMES: Water, please.
[There's a faint sound of a heavy sigh, followed by some rustling about, a glass filling before it's placed heavily onto the counter.]
Get on with it, then. And that'll be two fifty.
ARMES: Can you tell me your name and where you are from?
Shego. Does it really matter where I came from? I'm not going back.
ARMES: It's important for the record that -
Fine. Let's just say America. I've been all over.
ARMES: And what is the last thing you remember from your home?
[She scoffs.] Home? What home? You know, your questions are as good as a rubber duck in your chicken casserole. Anyway, to answer the question you didn't ask. I remember walking out of that "evil lair", or whatever tacky name you wanna call it, after destroying everything. It's kinda funny, if you spend enough time around someone, you can sooo easily figure out how to destroy it all with the push of a button. Drakken didn't know what he had coming, but he totally deserved it. After all those years? Yeah, it was about fucking time I won.
ARMES: I ask this because we have a history of memory loss in town.  do you feel as though you have any blanks in your memories?
Nope. Next question.
ARMES: how long have you been in town?
Few months.
ARMES: and are you feeling settled?  have you found a job?
[There's a pause, Armes notes that Shego raised both eyebrows in an exhasparated expression.]
Did you not look when you entered this place, or? Yeah, duh. I'm working, both here, at the WHITE RABBIT, for your records, and I'm a trainer at the gym. Don't come see me there, you wouldn't be able to take it.
ARMES: What, do you think, was the strangest thing you saw before arriving in this town?
I dunno. Crime-fighiting teenagers who somehow has favours all over the world, and still get straight A's?
ARMES: Do you believe in the supernatural or mythical?
Hah, what, like it's something spoooky and myterious? Right, you were almost funny there.
ARMES: What kind of traits would your friends or family give you?
You'd have to ask them, wouldn't you? Or ask yourself, I'm sure that talking to you gives you a picture. Everyone does that, make their impressions based of what they want me to be. Frankly, I don't give a shit about what you think of me.
ARMES: is there anything else you would like to say?
Yeah, there is.
ARMES: And what is that?
Goodbye. And don't forget to leave a tip.
↳・゜armes’ notes
Shego is one of the antagonists from the Disney show Kim Possible. She's seen working under Kim's arch nemesis, Dr. Drakken, although, it doesn't seem like Shego's too pleased about her previous situation. We know that she is very dangerous individual, but for now, she doesn't seem interested in any evil, scheming plans. Of course, there is no way of telling if she is up to anything - she stuck with Dr. Drakken for far longer than she needed to, and there has to be a reason for that. It's hard to tell if she's content with her life or not. In fact, it's hard to tell anything about her, other than the fact that she doesn't seem very keen on talking. She seems to be doing fairly well in both of her new jobs, although she is in no way nice or friendly. It's notable that she seems particularily hostile towards men. Shego is a wildcard, and worth keeping a close eye on. We know that she's smart, and it seems very likely that she'll try to get her hands on any kind of information, although, she might not be obvious about her attempts.
Danger rating: Hard to determine exactly, 8-9/10.
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iluvcvnnie · 3 years
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cheerleader!misa
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warnings: very nsfw towards the end, cursing, eating out
pairing: misa amane x fem!reader
dni if under 16
wc: 1k+
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It was a casual boring monday afternoon for you in school. Your chin rested on your left hand as you listened to your teacher give some boring lecture on who knows what. You constantly stare at the clock while the minute hand moves as slow as ever. You take a deep breath and sigh very loudly causing your teacher to turn around and face you. “Shit” you mutter under your breath. Luckily the bell rings just in time for the class to be excused.Your teacher looked pretty tired so they didn’t even bother asking you to stay after class. 
You quickly grab your backpack then dash out of the door. The hallways are always crowded with students which always irritates you since you don't like being this close to so many people. Plus the constant shoving you have to deal with when people run in the hall to meet up with their friends.
You continue to walk at a fast pace which gets you closer and closer to the exit. A grin plasters on your face once you see the sun shining outside that door. You’re so close to exiting the place you hate the most until you feel your phone vibrate in your back pocket. Since your locker is near the exit of your school you walk to it and pull your phone out. The brightness on your phone illuminates your face, making you lower it since it hurts your eyes. Who the hell turned my brightness up this high. Then you remembered that it was your girlfriend who did it since she always complains about how low it is.
Once you lowered your brightness you scrolled down to read the notification you got. It’s a text message from your girlfriend.
m: guess who has practice afterschoooool
y/n: practice?
m:...
m: y/n you seriously forgot
y/n: babe i’m kidding you know that i could never forget that you made the cheer team :)
m: i knowwww
m: anyways since it is my first day, you wanna stop by and come visit me afterwards???
m: i know you find the football team and the cheerleaders annoying buuuut
y/n: well i don’t find ALL of the cheerleaders annoying
m: really?! Who do you like
y/n: you, just you lol
y/n: but of course i’ll come and support you <3
m: aaaand you’ll get to see me in my uniform.
m: i know how much you likeeee it
You bite your lip remembering the times misa had sent you seductive photos of her in the cheer uniform. Taking photos of her thighs while in her mini skirt texting you: “wish you were here.” Or the selfies in the crop shirt positioning the phone at her breast. Fuck I can’t be thinking about this right now.
m: babe?
y/n: um yeah i’ll be there!
You quickly turn the opposite way from the exit and walk towards the football field. Your school is a decent size but it’s your senior here so you pretty much know your way around the whole place. You pushed multiple doors and walked down multiple staircases until you finally reached the bleachers.
The sun began burning your forehead which made you instantly regret coming to this practice. But it’s for misa so of course you’re showing up. She’s had the most positive impact on you ever since you moved to this school. Before you two got into a relationship you two were close friends, basically best friends. Always there for each other. You told each other everything and both comforted each other. 
Your feelings began to grow stronger for her everyday. It wasn’t until she had confessed her feelings first that gave you courage to ask her out. So here you are 1 year later and still together. Now you're sitting on a steaming hot bleacher bench getting ready to watch your girlfriend at cheerleader practice.
You turned around to scan your surroundings. All you saw were a bunch of guys who you assumed were on the football team supporting their girlfriends. You began hoping that this practice ends soon so then one of the guys doesn’t try to start a conversation with you.
Finally you spot a group of cheerleaders run out onto the bright green football field. You quickly spotted misa and her bright smile as she conversed with the other girls. The sun shines on her golden locks as you watch her begin to stretch. The sun is like misa’s spotlight causing her skin to shine bright.
Your eyes scan all over her body as she stands up to continue stretching. Her eyes swiftly find yours. She smirks once she notices you checking her out. She decides to tease you, curious on what your reaction will be.
She steadily turns around then begins to bend over. She starts to reach down to touch her toes. She does this flawlessly while looking incredibly sexy while doing so. Misa is super flexible so all the stretches come easy to her.
Her pink laced underwear starts to show, making you clench your thighs together. She notices how flustered you are, causing her to smirk. “Oh fuck you” you mouth. She chuckles then brings herself back up standing straight. Luckily none of the guys were on the bleachers anymore since they had to go to practice.
You grin then shake your head. After a few more stretches they began to start their routine. It has been a few hours since you’ve been sitting on the bleachers. Honestly the time went by fast. After misa did that last jump in the air and landed it perfectly. The coach blew the whistle which meant that practice was over.
Misa jogged over to you while her high ponytail swayed left and right. Before you could say anything, Misa cups your face then places a delicate kiss on your lips. The kiss lasts for a good ten seconds. Until it sadly breaks apart. Your favorite taste of misa’s lip gloss lingers on your lips. You and misa both grab your backpacks then you wrap your arm around her waists as you both walk into the parking lot.
“Soooo how was practice?” Misa turns her head at you with a blank facial expression. “Uhhh you were there.” “You know what I mean, was it fun?” “Honestly, no.” “No?!” “It was ok but not fun.” “Oh.” “It would have been fun if my girlfriend stopped eye fucking me on the bleachers and just fucked me on the field.” “In front of everyone.” You whisper in her ear. Her breath hitches “Yeah…”
“How about I fuck you right now?” “In the car?” “Yeah” You both quickly enter the car while the tension is rising.
Misa quickly straddles you then begins to place soft sloppy kisses all over your neck. Your breath starts to hitch as you already feel your core heat up. Your hands begin to roam all over her body. Your hands move under her skirt and start to fondle her ass while her body rocks back and forth on your thighs. Misa begins to slowly unbutton your top, revealing your bra. Once you help her unclasp it she begins to plant kisses all over your exposed breasts. Her lips quickly latch on to your nipple which makes you bite your lip.
You feel her warm tongue swirl onto your erect bud. While she sucks on your right nipple her left hand fondles your left tit. She squeezes it a bit too hard causing you to let out a moan. You mumble multiple profanities aloud while Misa is still sucking your tits. After she sucks on your breast. She gets off of you and lowers herself to the floor. Her head is between your knees while she goes in to start kissing your inner thighs. You then feel her warm tongue slide up and down your clothed area. “Such a pretty girl for me.” You feel her voice vibrate all throughout your core.
“Gonna eat you out so good huh?” You feel her fingers remove your underwear as she begins to slowly suck on your clit. She places her face deeper in between your thighs as you feel misa lick up all of your juices. Once she gives one last lick a load of cum shoots out onto her face. “Sorry…” You both laugh a little bit as she wipes it off then licks it with her fingers. Misa gets back up and straddles you again.
You figure it’s time to please her since she worked so hard today. Your hand goes under her mini skirt as you feel the wetness between her legs. “Fuck, baby your soaked.” Misa unlatches her mouth from your nipple as her hips begin to rock faster once you insert a digit inside of her. Your finger begins to pump faster and faster and she lets out elicit moans.
Your eyes are both half lidded while misa tits bounce up and down. The cheer uniform shirt makes her tits almost fall out at times. This is one of those times. She doesn’t even take the shirt off, they just fall out. “Fuck your tits are so pretty babe.” “You're so beautiful you know that right?” Misa just nodds her head while you finger fuck her. You mutter praises after praises until Misa cums all over your hand.
Her head falls onto your shoulder as you place delicate kisses on her forehead. “I love you so much baby.” Misa, being too tired to speak, mumbles an “I love you more” while placing a kiss on your shoulder. You both fall asleep in the parking lot while Misa is still straddling on top of you with your arms wrapped around her waist.
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gaypirate420 · 2 years
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Baby pirate
Sea three x gn!reader
I write this in a friendship way but if u wanna see it in a romantic way it's fine.
(I saw this like prompt in a the arcana fic but that was months ago and I can no longer find the post also @descendantofthesparrow i think she published that she had an idea like this I was half way the fic when I saw that, anyway go follow her she's cool)
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You and Uma were making a potion in her cabin.
"I'm not sure this is going to work, Uma" you said, the girl looks at you.
"C'mon (y/n/n) have a little fate" she said confident, you sigh this isn't the first time you and the captain try to make a spell everytime the barrer just make them useless, the small cauldron started to bubble, the water turned green and smoke started to come out.
"Umaaa" you called for her, she just started to laugh.
"It's working!" She said excited.
An explosion.
Uma tried to look for you but the smoke was stoping her, Harry and Gil got into the cabin.
"Wha' happened!?" Harry yelled, the smoke was dispersing, he looks at Uma.
"We were making some potions, wait, (y/n)? Where are you?" The captain was looking for you, Gil got into the cabin and got behind Uma's desk.
"Um guys" he called, Harry and Uma look at him, the blonde boy got under the desk and pick you up.
"IS THA' (Y/N)!?" Harry shouted, Uma gasped, she didn't know what went wrong.
"I think so" Gil said, you were a baby, a little baby in adult pirate clothes.
"Look at 'em! So tiny" Harry got closer to you, you look at him and giggle.
"Fuck, I'm sorry (y/n)" the captain got closer to you, you tried to catch one of her braids.
"babababa" You mumbled, Harry started to laugh and Uma was still in shock.
"How are we getting them back to normal?" Gil asked concerned, he puts you closer to his chest, you started to play with his necklace.
"I have no idea" Uma said while Harry was touching your cheeks.
"They're so soft" Harry said with a smile, Gil sigh and got you apart for the pirate, he grabbed a blanket and burrito wrapped you in it.
"We need baby clothes and baby food" Gil said serious, Uma looked at Harry.
"Ye, I think me da' have some of CJ's baby clothes, I'll go for them" Harry said and got out of the cabin, Uma looked at you, she extended her arms and Gil passed you to her, she got out of the cabin and started to go the chip shop Gil following her.
"EVERYONE THAT'S NOT PART OF MY CREW GET OUT!" The captain screamed and the crowd followed her orders immediately.
"Whaaaaaa" You started to cry, Uma's eyes got wide, the crew look at her confused, everyone started to murmur.
"why is it crying!?" Gil asked, Uma only pat your back and move you up and down, she got to the bar and put you on it, the hole crew saw you.
"Did Harry really stole the baby!?" Someone asked, Uma and Gil looked at them with a confused look.
"Fo-Forget it, haha, who's the baby?" Uma rolled her eyes.
"It's (y/n)" everyone gasped, you were sobbing, she looks down at you with a worried look.
"I think they're hungry" one of the pirates say.
"I'm pretty sure babies can't eat chips" Uma said she felt bad, Harry got back to the restaurant with a bag full of clothes.
"Guess wha' we got baby clothes and diapers, also some bottles and I know where we can buy baby food" Harry said with a smile Uma sighed in relief.
"Now, until (y/n)'s is back to normal I'll be a little absent, please don't get in any trouble" Uma ordered, she pick you up and give you a little smile, you were really tiny and adorable.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Aww look at 'em" Harry said, you were on his quarter you were just playing around in his bed, he put you a bunny onesie, Gil was shaking a bottle with baby formula.
"How I'm going to revert this?" Uma asked frustrated, Harry and Gil only looked at her with pity.
"At least (y/n) is fine"
"Yes, they will grow anyway" Gil said, Harry, Uma and even you looked at him, you giggle, the expression on the girl's face changed after hearing your little laugh.
"How am I suppose to make them drink the formula?" Gil asked holding the bottle.
"I think ye have to lay 'em a little ye know, here lemme hold 'em and ye make 'em drink that shit" Harry said, he pick you up and gently put you between his arms, Gil put the bottle on your lips and you started to drink the formula.
"Look at 'em go!" Harry said with a smile, you finished the bottle and Harry put your head on his shoulder and started to pat your back, waiting for you to burp.
"Huh that's weird-" Harry face you and you have your little mouth with some vomit, Uma laughed at him.
"Ye laughing cuz ye don't have baby vomit in ye!" Harry said frustrated, he clean you up first then he put you on the bed and got rid of his shirt, Uma got closer to you, you didn't seem to mind the chaos you were making, you were busier on putting your little feet in your mouth.
"Ugh (y/n) you are adorable, but I need you go back to normal" Uma said, she got into the bed and lay beside you, Gil did the same and Harry got into the hammock, you yawn.
"I guess it's time to sleep" Gil said and look at Uma she sigh and closed her eyes, she just wanted to wake up and that all this were a dream.
"Good night, Harry" Gil said.
"'Night Gilly" Harry said and closed his eyes.
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A week passed by and you were still a baby, Uma and Gil were a little surprised about how Harry seem to know a lot of how to take care of babies.
"Ye know, me da' ain't the best" Harry said while he was changing your clothes, he put you on a little pirate outfit, Uma seem to finally find a potion that could make you back to normal, the thing is, what if the barrier blocks it?.
"Put this in the formula" Uma handle the potion to Harry, he nod and did it, he shaked the bottle and you drank it entirely.
"Now we wait" Uma said, the two boys look at you.
"I don't thi-" Gil said, while Harry keep looking at you.
"We have to wait hours, boys" the captain explained.
"Ohhhh" both boys said.
The night comes and you still a baby, they put you into bed, Harry and Uma on the bed and Gil on the hammock this time.
The sun hits Harry's eyes he checks his side and you are no longer there, Uma is still asleep.
"Uma" Harry wakes his captain, Uma freeze when realization comes into her.
"yeah I'm alright, Gilly" Harry and Uma heard your voice outside the quarter, they got out of bed and run outside.
"(y/n) you're back!" Uma said and hugged you, Harry joined the hug.
"I want a hug too" Gil said and join the hug.
"I'm sorry (y/n)" Uma said.
"It's alright?, but what happened, where did I go?" You asked, Uma looked at you confused.
"You don't remember?" She asks.
"Nope"
"The potion failed and you turned into a baby" Uma said, you didn't know how to react.
"Did you guys took care of me?" You asked.
"Yes"
"Aye"
"Yup
"Awww, thanks guys, was I trouble maker?" You asked them.
"Ye threw up on my shirt!" Harry said angry, Uma and Gil laughed at him.
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A/n: heyyyy, hope u like it i made it short but I just wanted to get the idea out of my mind.
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