#if photoshop ever decides to load | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Post activity is at the highest at 4:00 pm EDT; notes peak at 10:00 pm EDT.

#if photoshop ever decides to load

bluebudgie · 10 months

Text

Oh hi. I heard it's gifs tips'n'tricks time.

View this as a little addition to this post I made a while back.

This time I thought I'd take you through my gif making process. It'll be very specific to Photoshop CS6 but maybe some of you will find parts of it helpful regardless.

And since our biggest nemesis appears to be ~The Tumblr 10MB File Size Limit~ I decided to go for the absolute worst premise for a gif: Lots of stupid wobbly particles and gw2 bloom and transparency effects. Because huge gifs love these.

Aah, a horrifying amount of those in this single scene. Perfect!

Let's start with a little timelapse video, and I'll get into the details with screenshots below then.

So this actually went smoother than expected? Not super much fiddling needed in the end, but here's how it went in detail:

Load the raw footage into photoshop.

You can do this in two different ways: What I do is simply drag & drop the video file into the program and it'll open with a video timeline and some rudimentary video editing options.

What you can also do is File -> Import -> Videoframes to Layers and select your source video, which will give you a timeline of separate still image frames instead.

It comes down to preference, I used both methods in the past but nowadays I find the video timeline more intuitive.

Cut the footage to roughly the right length.

From experience I know that most of my gifs are around 3-4 seconds long. This can of course vary depending on different factors. Don't get too attached to the exact seconds you selected, you might have to shave off a bit depending on how evil the file size decides to act.

Optional: Change footage speed

Depending on the gif and its purpose, I slow the footage down. I usually do this for the visual effect (especially nice for showing off animation details) but it also has the practical side effect that it can help with file size. Say you want a gif that loops after 4 seconds. At 100% speed your gif will move at your original framerate (in my case 60 fps); if you slow it down but keep the same length in seconds it'll logically use less frames. That's less data to blow up the size! Yey.

Crop the image.

Now this is probably one of the most crucial parts when it comes to your final file size, and your gif looking nice on tumblr. Since the tumblr dashboard displays images at a width of 540px, you want this to be your absolute minimum image width to ensure a crisp image. If I can, I'll make the gifs larger (I like starting at a minimum of 600px and then reduce the image dimensions if needed).

With that in mind.... choose your image crop wisely.

A "widescreen" image like this will be the most merciful in terms of file size, but might not always be what you want in terms of composition.

Given tumblr's very vertical nature, this kind of approach will look great in posts (if it fits your image composition of course), but at 540px minimum width tends to be a file size monster.

For the gif I'm attempting to make here I opted for a more square approach. The subjects of the scene fill out the image's space nicely, and it's still a nice size for tumblr posts overall. Let's see what the file size will say about this.

Replay your footage after cropping to make sure you didn't accidentally cut off any motion you didn't mean to cut.

Next up: optional colour corrections

I tend to crank up the saturation for gifs way, way more than I ever would for regular screenshots since I find that often the limited web palette can make them look fairly dull. But like everything else so far, this greatly varies depending on the scene you're showing.

Note that colour correction can increase or decrease file size depending on what exactly you're doing. The more different colours you have, the larger your file size will be.

Reduce image dimensions

Since my original video footage was fairly zoomed out, the cropped area only left me 575px of width to begin with. In an earlier attempt (that I absolutely did not fail to capture and therefore had to record the whole thing a second time) I tried to leave it at these dimensions, but the 10MB size limit did not like that so now I knew better and immediately reduced the width to 560px.

Note: After you've changed the video's dimensions it won't let you edit the speed anymore (for some reason), so make sure you've got that settled.

After all the adjustments are done it's time for the moment of truth...

File > Save for Web...

This beautiful window will open and...

Aww almost.

But honestly? That's not bad at all. I've had completely different disasters to deal with in the past (starting somewhere in the mid 20MB, good luck trying to make use of every size-reducing trick you've got up your sleeve).

Before I do any adjustments to shave off the last few KB though, I preview the gif to make sure it loops correctly. I want the Chak to sway seemlessly. Turns out it didn't, so I back out of the window to remove a few frames from the footage. And when I open the "Save for Web" window again....

Well that's anticlimatic. Apparently those few frames were enough to get the file size where I need it. (Note: Sometimes Tumblr likes to be a little b* and pretends your file is too big when you're this close to the 10MB limit. It be like that.)

While my gif journey theoretically ends here, I want to at least show you a few more things that could have helped if I had needed to get the file even smaller.

So this dithering thing I keep making a big deal of...

It can make or break a gif. In my experience this is so, so crucial to the final file size and quality of the gif.

In my own very amateurish words, dithering is a way to emulate colours that aren't actually part of the images colour palette. This is especially needed for in-game transparency effects like fog, glowy stuff, or smooth gradients. And that is part of why I chose this hell scene of all the ley line glow and the typical gw2 bloom that's particularly bad in this area.

PS CS6 offers you three different kinds of dithering techniques: Diffusion, pattern and noise.

My go-to is diffusion dithering, which has adjustable quality levels.

In my opinion it's generally the type of dithering that's often the least noticeable and creates the smoothest looking images. Unfortunately, it's also the one that creates by far the largest file sizes. Another downside is that it doesn't work super well with heavy DoF/fog etc. effects and is prone to really ugly banding, especially visible the more you decrease the quality. It looks awful for this particular scene. (Look at the glow around my asura's headpiece if you don't know what I'm talking about. Or... just the entire background.)

Both noise and pattern dithering will get you smaller file sizes, luckily.

I've never used noise so far (it tends to look messy in my opinion), but pattern gets the job done! Especially for gradient heavy gifs it's a lifesaver. It's definitely more noticeable than the diffusion dithering on static parts of the gif, but it absolutely makes up for it by not having any ugly banding effects. This is also what gave me the neat little 9.99MB file size in comparison to the diffusion dithering's 15.31MB.

Last but not least, if fiddling with the dithering or image dimensions doesn't help you get below that magic 10MB mark...

Limit the colour palette

You can either manually colour edit your image to use less colours for a more artistic approach, or you can let Photoshop limit the palette to its best abilities.

Additionally you can double click each individual colour to replace it how you see fit. (I've done that in the past when Petthri's yellow eye colour got erased and I had to bring it back manually.)

In this gif's example, reducing the palette from 256 to 128 colours has brought the file size down from 9.9 MB to about 8 MB. It can have a big effect, but doesn't always in my experience.

SHOW US THE GODDAMN GIF ALREADY!!!

Not the best quality gif we've ever seen on tumblr, but given the extremely unfavourable source material I think it turned out alright. I have to admit I'm actually surprised it worked at all.

Oh well! This got long (once again). I hope this was at least a little bit helpful to someone out there. Happy gif making!

#i did not proof read this #budgie plays gw2 #gif

72 notes · View notes

riverpiracy · 5 months

Text

so i've pretty much only ever processed my photos in camera raw within photoshop, but i decided to give lightroom a try while i was loading my usual adobe setup onto my new computer and i just don't get it man. like, of course a solid amount my apprehension is gonna boil down to simple shit like being unfamiliar with the UI and stuff, but it's just wayyy too slick-looking and user friendly. the editing suite is identical to camera raw, so why would i want the same shit that also pings me to upload to the cloud and use its proprietary time-saving features?? i just want a

7 notes · View notes

dotty-dot-dottus · 1 year

Text

Don't Starve Together x Team Fortress 2!!

Ive recently been super invested in DST and ive been putting a good few hours into it so far. Its so investing and interesting to play. Every corner may have a big bad guy or a little rabbit, and the best thing is that you'll never know what it is until you take that risk and peek around that corner! Impeccable game design! Any who, I decided to take two of my best hyperfixations and put them into one! how original. note, as i was making this, I found out that Tf2 and DST actually have a link! The TF2 team did some promotional events for the games early access, and the game devs for DST actually put in Pyro into the game for shits and giggles [and also troubleshooting/testing but shhhh...] He was paired with a lot of items and an actual artwork made by the very talented artists for the game! So cool! anyway have you ever gone on a massive tangent?- Jane! Non-Official DST Character! [I'm aware that the hands don't look right on the back view, it was late at night when i drew this cut me a break]

{extra lil thing]

[Little muted trombone sounds] "That's a load of hippie magic, alright!"

est time taken: 4+ hours program: Photoshop

I love him

#dst fanart #DST #team fortress 2 #tf2 fanart #crossover fanart #crossover #fan design

33 notes · View notes

mdpthatsme · 1 year

Text

Brother #2 upgraded to a gaming laptop and decided to give me his PC. It’s a Windows 10 Home, Omen by HP:

Processor Intel(R) Core(TM) i7-7700 CPU @ 3.60GHz 3.60 GHz Installed RAM 16.0 GB System type 64-bit operating system, x64-based processor

It’s C-drive is only like 250 GB, but the D-drive comes with almost 1 TB. I have a 2 TB SSD if I can ever get it to work (it wasn’t compatible with Clarice). So...I have to name this computer. I’m not sure what yet.

Edit:

It’s so empty.

Edit 2:

I downloaded the new EA app and found that my Ultimate Collection is just...Double Deluxe? I’m hoping this is just a wrong picture thing because there’s no setting or anything for it. I’m going to hold off on downloading the sim games until I know for sure if my SSD card will work or not.

Edit 3:

I’ve got some folders for the sake of organization when the creating begins. I don’t have Sims 4 Studio still because there is no sims 4 game installed. That’s why there’s a space between Blender and Milkshape. I still can’t load GOS so I haven’t gotten the keygen for Milkshape yet.

Edit 4: Bad thing about my new PC, it doesn’t have a built-in mic, webcam, or come with speakers...so...I’ll have to buy those things.

Edit 5:

Programs in...just need the games and all my extra stuff. I still don’t have Photoshop...I’m trying to remember where I put it.

#random is random #clarice the computer #no name new computer #yes I name my computers #I always have

30 notes · View notes

dearfuturehusbandblog · 1 year

Text

Radical Honesty

Dear Future Husband,

I’ve had this idea for several years now that people hide too much when it comes to dating and that we need a really radical shift in dating style. Instead of making up fluff and putting our best foot forward, maybe we should just put all our cards on the table and find someone who is ok managing that hand.

So, with that in mind, I have something to confess...

I’ve conducted a “social experiment” on one of the popular frum dating sites. I signed up with three different accounts:

1. An actual account for me.* This was set up with a photo of me that is password protected and a bio that reflected who I am and had a lot of details without being overwhelming.

2. A fake girl account that was quite different from mine and absurd too. The profile picture was originally a picture of me that I photoshopped the heck out of and then blurred it a bit, before shrinking it down to a small size so when the website enlarged it again it would look distorted. The text for each of the paragraphs was loaded with typos and made to sound stupid and artificial.

3. An account for a fake guy with no photo or details at all. It’s basically a blank profile. This was primarily to see how my “competition” presented themselves and what kind of profiles they write so I could tailor mine to stand out.

The goal of this experiment was to see what kind of responses these differing accounts would get from the dating public.

Here’s what’s interesting:

I set up the accounts when I was in my 20s and I’m in my 30s now. Pretty much from day 1, my actual account received a ton of messages from guys in their 40s, 50s, and 60s (more often that not, divorced). Some of the younger guys who messaged me had ZERO social skills. Most of them disregarded all the details I put in the profile as though they didn’t even read it.

The fake girl account got more messages from guys my age, half of them telling me I looked beautiful despite the photo looking completely demented and barely like a person at all.

And the fake guy account got several messages from girls too, who wanted to know about him despite all signs that the profile is from someone uninterested in participating in the whole dating thing.

I left the two fake accounts as is, but tried adjusting my real one several times, to try and garner appropriate responses from suitors. None of it worked.

I made it sound lighthearted and that didn’t help.

I made it sound serious and that didn’t help.

I filled it with jokes and that didn’t help.

I put bullet points for things I’m absolutely not interested in and that didn’t help.

It just seemed like no matter what I did, nobody read it.

And I’d like to chock that up to the fact that I didn’t have a visible profile picture, but neither did the fake guy account and that got messages from girls. Although, that could just be a difference between the sexes.

But oddly, the fake girl account kept getting message requests. Some were definitely from older and creepy guys, but there were quite a few young guys there too. Maybe guys like bimbos who only want them for their money?

I know I’m not in a place to get married at the moment, but I do still believe in “you never know” and “God works in mysterious ways” so I do keep my options open despite having little hope I’ll ever be a marriage person. But at the same time, I wanted the message requests to stop, so I changed my profile and went with the insane radical honesty thing.

I obviously couldn’t put everything about me, but I FILLED that profile to the max. And I’ll share it with you here, Future Husband, because this is all stuff you’ll need to know too. I’m putting it behind a Keep Reading bar because it’s loooooong and I’m going to try being considerate of the like two readers I have here by not completely stealing their feed. But who knows, maybe you’ll read it and decide that my baggage is stuff you can handle (if you haven’t read everything in this blog up until this point....)

Without further ado: My Radical Honesty Dating Profile

-LivelyHeart

ABOUT ME

Hi there! Thanks for checking out my profile. I've had the same stupid "About Me" for a while, so even though I don't come on here that often, I've decided to change things up. I don’t remember when I last updated my profile, but let’s just assume it was 2018 or earlier. I think it wouldn’t be too surprising to hear that some things have changed in the interim. I mean, for one, the pandemic really did a number on people…

One of the things that's changed for me is that I've decided to be a bit bolder in personality and stop caring so much what people think about me. This is a work in progress and I do still care a lot what people think, but I figured rewriting this "essay" could be a large step in the direction of that kind of personal freedom. So, let me tell you some important things about me. I talk (a lot), I write (a lot), I overthink (a lot), and I over-explain (a lot). And the guy I marry will have to be able to not only handle that, but appreciate it too. I believe I'm a better writer than orator, so using that medium, I'm about to present you with probably the longest profile you'll ever read on a dating site (I mean, this section is titled "Essays"...). So strap in, bucko, it’s gonna’ be a wild one!

I tend to have strong views on things. Some might even say... polarizing. And I think it comes off as somewhat unexpected because I don't really look like the type of person who would have such strong opinions on things. In most company I'm pretty smiley and lighthearted and agreeable, but I'll get into that a bit later. I'm also generally a socially observant person and try to read the room and not share certain things I think/feel/believe with certain people because I know they won’t go over well. That being said, considering I don’t know who you (the reader) are, and you’re essentially entering my domain by reading any of this, I'm sharing some of these ideas freely and it's up to you whether or not you want to accept them. No pressure!

Let’s start here: I think the modern shidduch system is an absolute joke. (Like I said, some polarizing views.) I truly despise the way modern shadchanas is a “job” that expects large payments in return for a service. I think it goes against the entire idea of what shadchanas is supposed to be - the shadchan is the vessel through which Hashem makes the pairings. Yes, they deserve compensation for having done so, but the fees that are presented to new couples for the little work some of these shadchanim actually do is despicable. I think that making it a job has turned it from pairing up people with true relationship potential to manipulating couples together for the sake of the shadchanas gelt. As a friend who had a broken engagement said to me, “the shadchanim are more interested in making weddings than making marriages." And from what I’ve seen, that is succinctly accurate. The amount of lying and manipulating I’ve seen to get couples who are unsure of themselves and each other together is such a slap in the face to these individuals, and in so many cases is setting them up for dysfunction, devastation and divorce. It’s no wonder the divorce rate in the frum world is on the rise. It’s unconscionable and completely alst-Torah.

Having a negative view on the current system of dating won’t make me many friends, so I don’t share that opinion with many, but I think when it comes to these dating profiles we need to stop being so “open” to everyone and start gatekeeping a bit more. Statistically we’re all really looking for a needle in a haystack and it’s not worth our time or energy to not be clear about who we are from the get-go. I could be wrong though, and feel free to tell me if you believe I am, as I’d be truly curious to hear your perspective on this. But when you take the time to narrow the field from 8B people on planet earth, to approx. 15M Jews, to the 50% which is the gender you’re seeking in a partner, to the 1/3 of that group that identifies as Orthodox, to the 75% Ashkenaz or 25% Sephardi, to the age range, relationship status, mentally healthy, same hashkafah and value system, and ensure you speak the same language…. You end up with a pool of like 100 people from which to find a possible mate. Add in the family dynamics, economics, physical chemistry, emotional and temperamental compatibility…. We’re all searching for that 1 in a million person. Almost literally.

And yet, so many of the profiles I see on here say the same benign things. “I’m a nice person with a sense of humor and Torah is important to me. I’m interested in sports and working out. I’m looking for a girl who is sweet and family oriented, beautiful inside and out.” I mean, seriously? “A sense of humor” can mean so many things. Being “nice” should be standard, not a personality trait. If your only interest is sports.... I'm not even going to get into that here. And I’m pretty sure nobody is looking for a girl who’s rude, hates children, and is ugly to look at. Either you’re all getting dating profile advice from the same person or you’re all just super unoriginal. (Obvs not all, as there are some more unique profiles than that, this is just a generalization of the grand majority I've read) And maybe we're all somewhat unoriginal... but I'm trying something new here. When I read a profile, I want to get a real sense of a person’s personality. And I think when you read mine you should get a real sense of who I am too. Because when it comes to narrowing the field to find your bashert you shouldn’t have to waste time talking to a hundred girls either, just to find out you're so incompatible that if you'd known certain things to begin with, you wouldn't have even taken the time.

So, in the spirit of gatekeeping, let me tell you all the reasons you shouldn’t reach out to me: • I don’t know if I can have kids. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, even if it sucks and I hate it. I also know a woman who was told she could never have kids and went on to have like 13, so it’s truly all in Hashem’s hands. But I can’t in good conscience get into a relationship with someone who doesn’t know that off the bat, especially when having an heir is his mitzvah, not mine, no matter how much I desire the same thing. If you’re open to exploring a relationship where natural children may not be a possibility, feel free to read on. If that uncertainty is a deal-breaker: you’re welcome. Have a nice day and hatzlacha on your dating journey! • My parents are divorced. I know that shouldn’t matter, but it does. Statistically, children of divorce are most likely to head for divorce themselves, because the home they grew up in didn’t have healthy interpersonal dynamics. I mean, it makes sense, no? And I’m fully aware there were and still are major communication problems in my family that plague me to this day. My “normal” isn’t… normal. At the same time, I think couples therapy can be extremely helpful in these types of circumstances and I’m open to exploring healthy relationship dynamics with someone I can fully trust. But if you think that kind of work and the possible struggles that can come along with that is more than you can handle: you’re welcome. Have a nice day and hatzlacha on your dating journey! • I have a lot of baggage from my childhood (see parental divorce above). There’s a lot of emotional stuff I still have to work through and in the right time with the right people and the right space, I’ll be able to sort through it. I’m upbeat and positive in most company, I can be goofy and wacky and have been told I should be a standup comedian (nooooot gonna' happen... 😅), I see silver linings and can be dan lekaf zechus in most situations, but my natural baseline is super negative, so even when I’m at my highest, I’m still below most peoples’ averages. Considering the childhood I’ve touched on above and the fact that anxiety and depression are part of my genetic makeup, that’s not much of a surprise. But the person I spend the rest of my life with has to know that these dichotomous traits are both part of who I am. If that’s not something you can handle: you’re welcome. Have a nice day and hatzlacha on your dating journey! • I think our food is trying to kill us. (Remember when I said polarizing views?) It may sound like some kind of conspiracy theory, but between the way we’ve destroyed the American soil (I mean, global soil really, but American in particular since that's where I'm living) and the poisonous additives in most foods today that are actually illegal in other countries... I think even the healthy food isn’t really so good for us anymore. I'm pretty sure I have celiac. Or it might be a sensitivity that’s specific to American produce. Unfortunately I went off of gluten before I could be tested for celiac, but even oat challah in the US bothers me more than oat challah I’ve eaten in Israel with the exact same recipe. I want to raise my children without processed sugar, disastrous oils (cottonseed, anyone?) and food dyes, which means keeping a pretty natural pantry and fridge. That isn’t to say that some healthy “junk” food can’t be a part of our every day lives, but unless you already eat healthfully, it would mean a major overhaul of your diet and a lot of people aren’t ok with that. If you’re not ok with that: you’re welcome. Have a nice day and hatzlacha on your dating journey! • I’m more of a follower than a leader. Despite having really strong opinions and my comedic stylings, I hate being the center of attention and drawing eyes, so I’m more likely to shut my mouth and not speak up when I disagree with something. My greatest ambition when I was growing up was to just be normal and fit in, because there was so much turmoil in my life and I felt like a weirdo all the time. With the right people, like some of my friends, I’m able to be spontaneous and bolder in personality, but in my everyday life I get talked over and looked over, and although I hate it, I’d so much rather that than ruffle feathers. Part of that comes from trying to be the peacekeeper and not draw the ire of whoever was most upset/frustrated in my childhood home, and I’d say it’s almost to my own detriment as an adult because I don’t know how to speak up for myself when things are problematic. Even when things are wrong or I’m in pain, I keep it all inside and “go with the flow” until I’ve distracted myself sufficiently to not care about what’s wrong. Obviously when it comes to being in an open and honest intimate relationship with someone, this can’t be the case. Which means there’s a lot of growth that has to happen for me to get over this major hump. Again, if you’re not ok with working through stuff like that: you’re welcome. Have a nice day and hatzlacha on your dating journey! • I’m not a shul person. I wasn’t raised by a mother who went to shul regularly and when I did attend with my father when I was little, he didn’t exactly explain what it was we were doing or saying at certain parts, so as an adult, I still don’t know “the ways of shul." In addition to that, I’ve found very few shuls in my life that fit my belief of what a shul should be. The women chatting and hugging each other while the men are on the other side of the mechitza, merely feet away, trying to say kaddish or shemone esrei; some of the men wandering around in circles and trying to look through the mechitza or shlepping a kvetching baby around during davening, the children running in and out shrieking and laughing and crying; the stares from people who are just completely uncouth; the shoving and gluttony at the kiddushes… It’s all just so unappealing to me. If the shul is supposed to be our own mini Bais Hamikdash, our community Temple of God… we’re doing a really horrible job with it. (Strong opinions, remember?) So… if you expect your wife to be with you in shul every single Shabbos and for every single holiday/event, chances are I’m not the one for you, and now you know, so: you’re welcome. Have a nice day and hatzlacha on your dating journey! • I'm not an athletic person at all. I was born with feet problems and over the years have injured both a knee and an ankle that I probably should have gotten physical therapy for, but it was never prescribed. This makes most forms of exercise incredibly difficult and painful. I enjoy walking and hiking on occasion and usually do it solo so I can go at my own pace. If you're super into physical fitness like running, biking, skiing, rock climbing, etc, and hope to be able to do those things with your wife, I'm not the girl for you: you're welcome. Have a nice day and hatzlacha on your dating journey! • When it comes to personality, I’m kind of an extroverted introvert. If I had to pick, I’d say I have more of a cat personality than a dog personality, though I don’t own any house pets and don’t really want to (although, maybe chickens, one day…). I’m fairly comfortable staying in most of the time, though I do enjoy getting out and breathing fresh air somewhat regularly. I do well in quiet settings and I also enjoy social gatherings. Though, I’m much more comfortable being the host who brings people together (even if I spend majority of the time alone in the kitchen) than being subjected to the whims of someone else’s event/get-together, and being a social butterfly would never be an every-night kind of thing for me. Maybe it’s a control thing, maybe it’s an anxiety thing, or maybe it’s my way of regulating the extrovert and introvert that battle within me. No clue. • I feel like I should also add that as a single, never-been-married, woman in my 30s…. I don’t need a husband. But I want a husband. I’m ok being single. I mean, it's not my ideal, but I’ve done it this far, right? So what’s another 60-90 years? I’m not even sure how I ended up in my mid 30s already, so I think the rest of this century will go by in just as much of a blur. And I’m self-aware enough to know that what I deal with on a daily basis would be too much to bring to a relationship with someone else, especially someone who undoubtedly has baggage of their own that I’ll have to help shoulder too. It’s a lot. And it’s more than can be expected of anyone, so I get it if there’s nobody out there who can handle it all. I mean, this isn’t even everything! It’s just a small taste of what being with me would entail, and that’s important for you to know too.

I’m really good at chatting with people (for the most part, anyway…). I’ve had plenty of one-off conversations with guys who have expressed their desire to date me from just that one conversation (not a flex - this always gives me anxiety because I thought we were having a lighthearted chat and the things turn weirdly intimate) and I’ve had to rebuff their advances because their feelings were not reciprocated. Or because they didn’t share my hashkafos on a lot of things. Or because they weren't Jewish, which has happened too. It all has to be mutual, and that is, I think, the hardest thing of all. But they say that making shidduchim is as tough as splitting the sea, which for Hashem is a fantastically easy task. So, maybe you’ve read this far and you’re unbothered by it all. Maybe you have a life experience that matches mine in a way that we could work. If that’s the case: you’re welcome! You've made it this far and I clearly haven't scared you off! …yet. lol You're obviously open to at least hearing what I have to say, and that means you've passed the first test! (I did warn you it would be long!) If you have made it this far and want to message me, use the phrase blue turtles forever somewhere in your message so I at least know you've read this much. But there's still more to this profile, so read on and see what you think then.

I’M LOOKING FOR:

I can't really be too specific about someone I haven't met yet, but there are a few things I will not compromise on:

I'm 100% against: [1] smoking [2] excessive drinking (as in more than just on shabbos, yom tov, and for a l'chaim) [3] any kind of recreational drugs [4] unsafe/erratic driving, driving while texting or holding a phone

I'm looking for someone closer to my own age (-2/+5) and Ashkenazi, and I would also like the person I share my life with to: • have the ability to hold down a job but also make serious time for learning (and enjoy sharing what they learn) • be someone who will accept me for who I am, respect me and my past • be someone who enjoys having fun and can make me laugh - this is obviously subjective, though my sense of humor is full of puns, creative play on words, parody, sarcasm, absurd storytelling, and some dark humor • and I think “good with kids” is probably a given, but I felt I should add it too

Other beneficial traits I wouldn’t say no to: • green thumb - I would love to have a garden and grow our own food, so any experience and interest in that would be super • creative - I would love doing family projects together • handy - I enjoy assembling furniture and doing random DIYs but would love a husband who could take care of stuff like that too • nice singing voice - I wouldn’t say I’m the world’s greatest singer, but would love to be able to harmonize with someone

As a general rule, I'm most attracted to people who try to emulate the 13 attributes of Hashem in their own life. In particular - Rachum, Chanun, Erech Apayim, and Rav Chesed - people who live their lives with a focus on kindness, grace/mercy, and slowness to anger.

PLEASE NOTE: I'm not currently in a place in my life where I want to be a stepmother, and I feel kind of weird about dating someone divorced. Obviously context is important for why the person is in those situations, but having lived through dysfunction and my parents' divorce, for now it is a strong preference. It's also interesting to me that I keep getting messages primarily from divorced guys with kids, despite this being one of the things I have not changed on my profile despite many other updates, which makes me think you're not even reading any of this. If you've continued to read this far, use the phrase it's a mee a mareeyo somewhere in your message to me so that I can at least tell you've read up until here.

I'm a make-do-with-what-I've-got kind of person, but that doesn't mean I'll settle for the lowest hanging fruit. As my boss's friend once told me, "better to be miserable single than miserable married." 🤷🏻‍♀️

WHAT “MODERN ORTHODOX MACHMIR” MEANS TO ME:

I used to have this one set to 'Yeshivish Modern’ but when I actually take a step back and analyze the way I live my life I think I'm more 'modern orthodox machmir' than I am 'yeshivish modern'. I hate this whole labeling system, but there are some differences and I think I'm more 'modernish' than 'yeshivish'.

That being said, let's dig into how I define this particular label:

I like the look of a black hat on Shabbos, but I also like the idea of a married guy doing something that clearly delineates him from the single guys, like wearing a wedding band. (Not a wedding ring "exchange" at the wedding, just a gift given from wife to husband afterwards to be worn as a public sign of a marriage commitment)

And I partake of secular content:

I do try to censor what I listen to, but I grew up with a lot of non-Jewish music and still enjoy a lot of it. It's a comfort zone thing for me and while I don't necessarily agree with all the values shared in the songs, it's still something that's a part of my life right now. Most of these are songs I would never play for my kids and that would probably change things for me down the road.

I read secular books, but avoid reading them on Shabbos and yomim tovim, because I think they bring down the spirituality of the day and are the antithesis of what we're supposed to be doing on those days.

I watch TV shows and movies, youtube videos, etc. But I don't want to own a TV. I don't like the idea of a TV being the focal point of the living room or bedroom, and I don't want my kids to be raised in a home where that seems like the foregone conclusion for downtime. For the occasional movie/TV show, computers work just fine and can be way easier to close up and put away without it being an in-your-face temptation, but the values and language in modern children’s content isn’t anything I’d like my children exposed to all that much in general. I’m much more interested in fostering creativity and originality.

I also try to make a point of not watching/listening to any of the above during the week of Chanukah specifically. The whole point of Chanukah is that we fought against outside influences, particularly those of Hellenistic sentiment, and I think it's a slap in the face to the holiday for us to partake of the secular world during the time we're celebrating our triumph over it. Feel free to share your own personal 'traditions' with me. I'd be curious to hear how you choose to 'step up' your yiddishkeit.

So... modern orthodox, but... machmir. I think the label says it all.

#jumblr #frumblr #orthodox #jewish #frum #dating #jewish dating #shidduch dating #shidduch #shadchan #shadchanim #shidduchim #i am the shidduch crisis

3 notes · View notes

reincarnatedonthefirst · 1 year

Text

I really need to remember that clients like to read life updates!!! (I know I’ve posted about this before but I really do forget!).

I just sent out a life update and a regular I haven’t seen in about 5 months (Jason) read it immediately. He hit me up right away to say he liked my post and he would be seeing me in April (his wife and kid are going away).

🥳 I need to stop forgetting that some clients really DO want to know about your life!!! I’ve got to post more often.

I also just found out that my web-host has email marketing capabilities. If I ever get busier, I definitely want to start a newsletter.

Meanwhile, maybe I am cut out for sex work. Someone bought an OnlyFans post today. I’ve also been creating a mood board for my photoshop. If I decide to go forward, I know NOW exactly what image my brand needs.

I came across another high end sex worker that hasn’t had a new photoshoot in about two years and she doesn’t post much to social media. But her brand is so unique and her are photos are so beautiful that all she has to do is renew her ads to get new business. That’s it.

That’s what it’s all about. Put planning into your photoshoot and drop a load on a REALLY good photographer. With a unique brand and an excellent photographer, you end up creating a lane in which very few can compete and your professional gallery will bring in the best clients.

Maybe I can do this…

#me #clients #Jason

1 note · View note

nahaszee · 2 years

Text

Universal adobe cc patcher 2019

#Universal adobe cc patcher 2019 for mac

#Universal adobe cc patcher 2019 cracked

#Universal adobe cc patcher 2019 mac os x

#Universal adobe cc patcher 2019 Patch

#Universal adobe cc patcher 2019 pro

#Universal adobe cc patcher 2019 Patch

** It should be noted that you will be able to patch all older versions of the products listed with the help of this Adobe Product Activator.

#Universal adobe cc patcher 2019 pro

Adobe Character Animator CC 2019 v2.0.1 Universal Adobe Patcher v2.0 freeload is available here to active lifetime those adobe companys software which you use it like Any Adobe CC 2018, 20 Products Like Adobe After Effects CC 2018, Adobe Photoshop CC 2018, Adobe Premiere Pro CC 2018, Adobe Illustrator CC 2018, Adobe CC 2018.

#Universal adobe cc patcher 2019 cracked

Added cracked Adobe Media Encoder CC 2019 V13.0.2.Added cracked Adobe Premiere Pro CC 2019 V13.0.2.

#Universal adobe cc patcher 2019 for mac

If you decide to stay on the “bright” side and not steal software, then you have one way to use Adobe for free.Adobe Zii is the name of a software patch and activator of Adobe products for Mac OS. In fact, with this software you will now be able to patch and crack various Adobe products such as CC 2015, Adobe 2018 and Adobe 2019 and so on. As you know, cracking down on new Adobe products is always a problem for users with problems that users suffer from. Now with this software released solely for Mac OS, you can easily and safely patch all kinds of Adobe products including versions from the past to the present. How Can I Use Adobe Creative Cloud Legally? Amtemu cc v0.9.4 l amt emulator l universal adobe patch 2018 by painter.exe freeload. Usually, such a patcher comes with a “bonus” that will load various adware with the impossibility of simple removal, viruses, or just a dozens of obscure programs. Most often, hackers distribute pirated software with their own benefit. Periodic updating not only fixes errors made while writing programs but also closes dangerous vulnerabilities and provides a user with new functions. Updates allow solving this problem but even if you have the best universal Patcher, you can still forget about them. Conclusion AMTEmu or Adobe Universal Patch is simply one of the best and the most useful activator I have ever used. Now open My Computer > Local Disk (C) > Program Files or Program Files (x32) > Adobe and paste that amtlib.dll there. Moreover, the more complex the software product, the greater the likelihood of errors. Then you need to open this link amtlib.dll Download & download the latest version of amtlib.dll. Additionally, you would find this app user-friendly. It is very easy to use and is used to activate all the latest versions of Adobe CC 2019, 2010, and 2021. links: adobe creative cloud tei. Adobe CC GenP is an amazing universal patcher that cracks all the latest versions of Adobe Creative Cloud 2019, 2020, 2021 This is done in a very smooth and easy way. sorry for my bad english and i hope this video helps you. Developers are ordinary people, and they tend to make mistakes. 2021 Adobe Cc 2021 2020 2019 Activator Universal Adobe Patcher. The fine for this action will reach $250,000 and in addition to that, the accused person might be imprisoned for the term of up to five years that will leave a permanent felony on the record. The business owners, who have been caught selling illegal copies will suffer even more. Universal Adobe Patcher 0.9.4 is really an amazing and much prettier application who enables you to use this program for the purpose of generating patches for your all the Adobe programs. The case might not be limited to reimbursing the copyright holder and if you be accused of federal statutory damages, the fine can reach $150,000 per infringement.Ĭriminal Piracy. Apart from causing damage to the developer, piracy is also viewed as a federal crime similar to an illegal download of music or films. Under the law, you will be forced to reimburse the caused damages and lost profits and, in some cases, if sharing of pirated software occurred, also the damages caused by other users, who installed your copy.įederal Penalties.

#Universal adobe cc patcher 2019 mac os x

By using the pirated products, you are literally causing the developer company to lose the profit it would have received from your purchase. Adobe CC 2019 Universal Crack & Patcher Version of Keygen: Zerocode AIO v1.5, CCMaker-v1.3.6 Release Date: Compatible with: Windows 7 with SP1, Windows 8.1, or Windows 10 (recommended with version 1607 or later) Mac OS X v10.12 (latest dot release) through Mac OS X v10. I am sure you want to learn why you shouldn’t use an Adobe Patcher? There is a number of good reasons for this:ĭamages to Copyright Holder.

#Universal adobe cc patcher 2019

0 notes

maacwanowrie · 2 years

Text

5 Reasons to study 3D animation

So you're interested in studying animation, right? We're not surprised! And that's because 3D animation is one of the fastest growing sectors with some of the best job prospects on the market. For that reason, we've got a selection of reasons why you should study 3D animation and visual effects. Let's take a look!

First of all, what is 3D animation?

It's only natural that you would be interested in immersing yourself in a world as creative as 3D animation and design, who wouldn't want to unleash their imagination and live to create animated characters and settings? Having said that, are you sure about what 3D animation is and what it's for?

Animation isn't just giving life to inanimate objects. In the case of 3D animation, and unlike 2D animation, it gives life to objects so that they can move in a three-dimensional space. The impression of movement is created through a series of still 3D sequences.

1. Wide variety of 3D animation courses

After this year, the offer of courses is bigger than ever and you can study the 3D animation course that is best suited to your needs. Do you want something face-to-face or online from home? Do you prefer a more general syllabus or do you want to specialise in 3D modelling in a particular programme? It's up to you! If you don't know where to start looking for your 3D animation training, keep reading! 3D Animation Courses in Pune are also a good way to learn 3D animation.

2. Mastering 3D animation software opens doors in any sector

So you don't want to dedicate yourself fully to animation but you think that being trained in this field could be interesting? Well, you're in luck! Loads of businesses look for multi-skilled professionals that are able to master 2D and 3D animation software, such as the Adobe package (Photoshop, Illustrator, Premiere, After Effects etc). You can also learn animation by taking animation courses in Pune

For example, if you're an artist or graphic designer, mastering these types of software is necessary to access good jobs, but if you also know how to use others like Unity, Unreal Engine or Maya you'll be top of the prospective candidate list for your dream job.

3. Nowadays visual effects are essential

You just have to look at the catalogue of our favourite streaming services (Netflix, HBO, Prime, Disney+ etc), visit the official website of the new technological gadget or switch on our console to play a game: wherever we look, animation and visual effects are present in all aspects of our lives. If this is the case in 2021, imagine the impact of 3D animation in a few years! Technological development will not only make job roles that nowadays don't even exist, but also that visual effects will be much more present than we can imagine.

4. Animation industry is in growth

It's a fact that 2D and 3D animation is in its best moment: just in 2020 alone this industry registered worldwide earnings of 260 000 million dollars. Next to nothing! This figure grew especially with the creation of streaming platforms and continues to rise each year.

In the case of Netflix, for example, the jump towards huge animation productions was made with the film Klaus, made by the Spanish studio the SPA, which says a lot about the quality that there is in the animation sector and the animation studios in Spain. Can you imagine working in a team nominated for an Oscar for the best visual effects? Incredible!

You're possibly thinking that animation is limited to kids films, but this is because you haven't been told about all the possibilities! Do you recognise Big Mouth or Love, Death and Robots? Animated content for all audiences is becoming more and more popular, and these hits are evidence enough that animation isn't just for the youngest of us.

5. Many career opportunities for 3D animation

There are numerous 3D animation studios and businesses, but animation isn't just present in the television and cinema industry, there's countless possibilities if you decide to pursue a career in this sector! 3D animation and video games is another one of the most sought-after outlets for those that decide to venture into the world of animation, so being a video game designer and/or developer might be your thing.

If you don't think that video games or animation for cinema and television is for you, there's a multitude of businesses that demand experience in 3D animation, like digital graphic designer, 3D modeller, multimedia audio-visual content editor, 2D and 3D designer and animator, layout technician, etc. You won't lack opportunities with such a quantity of job offers in 3D animation!

0 notes

maac-pune-wanowrie · 2 years

Text

5 Reasons to study 3D animation

First of all, what is 3D animation?

1. Wide variety of 3D animation courses

2. Mastering 3D animation software opens doors in any sector

3. Nowadays visual effects are essential

4. Animation industry is in growth

5. Many career opportunities for 3D animation

0 notes

lukajakich12 · 2 years

Text

week 9

Introduction to Adobe Indesign: Being able to use indesign is a good skill to have when it comes to designing and arranging text, image, and vector artwork to singular or multiple page documents for printing or publishing. Unlike photoshop and illustrator where images are created indesign is used to arrange work - image and text and works simultaneously through photo shop and illustrator in the vector artwork and smart images can be placed and arranged on a document and still be updated through its original file.

For this weeks task we started with going over styles which allow you to apply settings to objects or text and save them as a style. There are character styles and paragraph styles. Setting a character style is usually settings that are applied to letters, words, blocks of text, or objects. Once the settings have been saved to that style, the style can be applied to multiple things and will instantly change what it is applied too.

There is also paragraph styles- settings saved within a paragraph can be made a style. For example you can create a style off one paragraph and apply it to any text across your opened documents so you could set a style which you apply to all your body text, you could then set another style which you apply to all your heading text. By changing the settings on one of these styles- all text the style has been applied to will instantly correct to those new settings and these changes can be made whenever.

Character style: block of text with bold italic style applied.

Paragraph style: Paragraph with body text style applied. As well as style set for headings and bullet points.

Paragraph style: bullet points

Paragraph style options/settings: allows you to make changes to a style, view style presets, also preview doc whilst making changes.

The next thing we looked at after the basics of styles and arranging text was loading smart images into design and learning how to scale them and arrange them so that they work with text. Indesign loads images files as links this means if you place an image file, the link can still be changed and updated by altering the original file which saved having to re-upload updated images.

Linked image updated after making changes to original file in illustrator.

Scaling images: ever image places into illustrator is put into a frame. So the image can be warped and cropped separately but will only show what is fitted inside the frame.

The trick to this not happening if it is not on purpose to crop the image inside the frame in to hold keys- shift+command while scaling which means both the image and the frame will scale together.

Wrapping text around an image: If you decide you want text running around and image there is the option for - text wrap which creates a guide around the image that the text follows- there are multiple wrap options and you can change the offset of that guide line dictating how far off the text is that is wrapped around the image.

0 notes

tobesobri · 3 years

Text

Traditions | 17.3k

a/n: it's been a while since I uploaded writing and for some reason I decided to sign up for this challenge and by some miracle actually managed to write something for it 🤯anyways, this is for the Valentine's Day Challenge by @1dffchallenges and it's honestly just a bit of fun, enemies to lovers little bit of angst and some smut! so i hope you enjoy! I'd always love to know your thoughts!! (also pls excuse any errors, I wrote this in a week with little editing lol)

prompt: doube date

dialogue: “So let me get this right. You want to hire me as your date for a Valentine’s Day Party?”

Pink and red were speckled throughout the entire office, whether it was a bouquet of chocolate roses, a banner of hearts, or stuffed bears residing next to bowls full of heart-shaped candies. Every employee’s section of the office had been filled to the brim with decorations as well. Pink and red ribbon taped carefully around the edges of their desktop computer, little store-bought balloons, also heart-shaped, grouped together and tied to desk chairs.

And Y/N, dressed in her typical all black outfit, rolled her eyes as she paced through the office toward the one section in the back that was immune to all things heart-shaped, pink, or stuffed.

She sat down at her desk with a loud sigh, her purse hitting the floor in its usual spot just before she slipped out of her jacket and draped it haphazardly between her back and the chair. It’d be wrinkled by the end of the day, but she didn’t care all that much, nor did she put much thought into the stains on her purse from leaving it on the floor. All she concerned herself with, after settling in, was getting straight to work… which was put on hiatus when she came face-to-face with both a pink and heart-shaped sticky note plastered onto the center of her computer screen.

Groaning, she ripped it off and moved to turn her computer on before she bothered to read whatever was written on the note. She considered three potential suspects while she pulled her keyboard down onto her desk and logged in. There was Kayla, who worked front reception and was one of the main culprits of all the Valentine’s decorations. A strong contender. It could’ve also been Ines or Carmen, her closest work friends whom Y/N knew both owned a pad of pink, heart-shaped sticky notes.

However, when she finally let her eyes fall to the note as her computer loaded up, the handwriting didn’t match any of the women she knew, and she was quite positive that none of them would have written was was sprawled out in black ink either.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I will fill your office with teddy bears and balloons, if you don’t send me your half of the proposal by two.

Harry.

She crumpled the note and tossed it into the bin under her desk. He could go fuck himself for all she cared. Sure, she was nearly done with her portion of the work and would be able to send it to him before then, but now that he’d pestered her about it, he’d be lucky if she even bothered to send it to him at all.

She didn’t doubt the promise, i.e. threat, he made on the note, but being surrounded by teddy bears and balloons would be worth making Harry’s life just a tad miserable.

After opening all the apps she’d need to get her work done, namely Photoshop and Illustrator, she connected her drawing tablet and set up the rest of her work station for the day, both on screen and off.

Harry had worked at the company for about two years longer than her and she’d started off as an intern while she was still in college and, after graduating, was hired as a permanent graphic designer. They had never really gotten along ever since Harry—jokingly—asked her to get him a coffee once… or twice. Unfortunately for her, though, they ended up working well together and their boss had stuck them both on the same projects ever since. Especially after the month-long project last spring that had been their most successful one to date.

While she came up with the design parts of client projects, Harry handled the more technical side of things and they’d never really argued much over each other’s work even though they clashed constantly at a more personal level.

“I see your feeling festive.” Just as she’d gotten into the groove of her typical morning and had forgotten all about Harry’s stupid note, his voice interrupted her entire thought process. So when she swiveled around to find him leaning into her little office space, it was hardly a surprise when she glared at him, even though he feigned offense at her bitterness.

“You got my note, I presume.” He let himself into her space anyway, holding a mug of steaming coffee she was sure he’d just made in the workroom, and leaned up against the opposite side of her desk that housed a much larger, digital drawing tablet for when she needed to do more intricate design pieces.

She just swiveled back around to face her computer again and went back to work as if he was no longer there. Pretending to ignore his existence proved to be quite difficult when the very particular woodsy, vanilla scents of his cologne met her nostrils and filled her entire office. Not to mention, the sight of what he’d been wearing singed the backs of her eyelids so that she still saw him every time she blinked. It was as if her brain refused to let her forget what he looked like in his white button-up, sleeves rolled to the crooks of his elbows, all tucked into his fitted black trousers that tended to get the imaginations going of all the women in the building.

Not her though, of course. She was better than that. Obviously.

He cleared his throat, still very much present in her space and still very much giving her a migraine. “So will it be ready by two?”

“Well, I planned to send it to you before lunch.” She tweaked the spacing between letters of a potential logo for the millionth time. “But now… I think I might need the rest of the day.”

She heard rustling behind her and knew he was shifting his weight impatiently and running a hand through his hair as he often did when he was… displeased. “I told you I’m leaving early tomorrow and I need it no later than two.”

She cocked her head to the side, still staring at her computer screen and not giving him an ounce of satisfaction. “Did you tell me that?” She teased, an amused smirk lifting the corners of her mouth when she heard him groan behind her. “I must’ve forgotten.” Shrugging, she went back to her work.

“Unlike you,” he snapped, “some of us actually have a love life and I’d appreciate you not fucking up mine.”

She froze then, only for a split second, when his words sank in. Two thoughts raced through her head. The first a string of curse words because of his assumption that she didn’t have a love life. But the more prominent and worrisome part of his statement was that he did have one. And that he was leaving early tomorrow—Valentine’s Day—so he could get ready for a date.

Throwing both her prickly exterior and heartbreaking smirk up again, she turned to face him. “I’ve known you for three years now and if anyone has the potential to fuck up your love life, it’s you.”

He narrowed his eyes at her and her gaze fell to the hand that seemed to wrap a bit tighter around his Bugs Bunny mug. His knuckles whitened and she met his heated stare again, pleased with herself for getting him riled up before he’d even finished his morning coffee.

“So,” she continued before he get get a word of retaliation out, and sat back against her chair, crossing her legs confidently as she folded her hands in her lap. “Who’s the poor girl you’ve tricked into going on a date with you this time?”

Harry had a terrible track record. The longest relationship he’d been in lasted for two months, and that was well before she’d known him. Everything else he had was just a one or two night thing and nothing more. Sure, it was all more than she had, but she preferred it that way. Harry seemed to resent the fact that he couldn’t keep a girlfriend to save his life.

“You don’t know her.”

Her smile widened. “How long have you been seeing her?”

“Couple weeks.”

“Ooh, that just might be your second longest relationship, Styles.”

“Well at least I’ve had one.”

His jab didn’t have an affect on her however, and he knew it wouldn’t because it never did. He knew she didn’t give a damn about relationships, or at least that’s what she claimed anyway. He couldn’t think of many twenty-four year old women who actually wanted to be alone. He actually couldn’t think of a mid-twenties anyone who wanted that.

“You’ll have to try harder than that.” She said nonchalantly, which irked him even more than he already was, and then swiveled away from him one last time, picking up her drawing pen and getting back to work.

“What’s your issue with relationships?” He went on and she knew he was headed right down a path intended to hurt her feelings just as much as she had his. So, she tensed slightly and braced for impact. “Is it a commitment thing? Or can you just not find anyone to put up with you for longer than five minutes?”

She let his words sink their teeth in and then smiled to herself. “Hm. Seeing as you’ve been in my office now for,” she checked the time at the top right-hand corner of her screen, “eight minutes, maybe we should date.” She lifted a brow, awaiting his next response.

It felt a bit like a cat-and-mouse chase bickering with Harry and since she was usually the cat, it brought her way too much pleasure fighting with him.

He scoffed. “Like I’d lower my standards for you.”

That one hurt, she had to admit. Not out loud or to Harry, but it still stung because it was true. He’d have to drop his standards to the floor to even consider dating her and she knew it.

“Maybe,” she began, still half focused on her work, and ignored his comment all together, “some of us like being alone.”

“Nobody likes that.” He responded quickly and she heard a shift of his weight again and then his voice once more a few moments later. “It’s nice to be by yourself sometimes, yeah, but you can’t tell me you don’t want someone to come home to at the end of the day.” He crossed one leg over the other as he gripped the edge of her desk for support and just when she thought he was done, he kept going, “Someone you can vent to about your annoying co-worker.”

She glanced at him through the little portable mirror hanging above her desk—mostly used to make sure she looked decent before meeting with clients or, sometimes, Harry—and saw the tight smile on his lips. Almost as if that’s what he wanted, like he was talking about himself and not her.

She’d slowed her progress down while he’d talked until she was no longer working at all. She no longer swiped her pen across the pad or had any idea what she was even doing when she focused solely on his words. Because, once again, whether he was talking about himself or about her, he was right.

“Yeah well,” she quickly hid herself back behind her wall and made her hands function properly again. “Some of us also don’t have the luxury of choosing whomever we want.”

She imagined him smirking at that one because, buried deep within her words was a compliment. That he was handsome enough to actually have anyone he wanted.

Instead, when she glanced at the mirror again and found him, there was the complete opposite of a smirk on his face, and as he stared down into his mug, clearly lost in thought, she wondered what the tightness in his jaw and the frown pulling on his lips meant.

She sighed and stole his attention away from his coffee. “I’ll have it to you before lunch. You can go now, unless you’d like to argue some more and slow me down by another…” she glanced at her clock again, adding up all the time he’d been standing in her office, “fifteen minutes.”

Without another word, she listened to the drag of his footsteps as he finally left her office space. And although she was glad to be rid of his distraction, the room felt so much bigger and so much colder and emptier without him in it. Shivering, she slipped back into her jacket and spent the next few hours doing nothing but staring straight ahead at her screen as she made final adjustments to her designs.

Any other conversations with Harry were had over email as he worked in his own respective office, messaging her with every little concern he had in order to get his work done efficiently so that he wasn’t stressing to finish it tomorrow before he had to leave. Even though Y/N considered not responding to him a few times, just to spite him and slow him down for her own amusement, she found herself feeling guilty after leaving him hanging a couple times. Sure, she hated Valentine’s Day and everything surrounding it, but she’d almost hate even more the idea of both her and Harry being miserable tomorrow, so she inevitably gave in and cooperated with him. She’d probably regret it when he came back on Thursday spreading around the office all the gory details of his date, but at least he wouldn’t also be in a shitty mood. Her days were both boring and slow whenever Harry wasn’t having a good day. And although she’d blame it all on selfish reasons, it did also make her sad to see him frowning around the office and sulking when all she wanted to do was bicker with him and make him smile again, even just a little bit. But it was easier leaving him to his own devices than risk him finding out she cared about him enough to not wish sadness upon him.

She couldn’t say the same for him. Harry probably relished in the days she came into the office in a sour mood. He probably celebrated and threw a party whenever she was upset, and, even so, it didn’t change how she felt about him.

The sun had long set and most of the office was gone by the time she finally called it quits and began packing up her things and giving her computer a rest for the night. There were still quiet murmurs from other workaholic employees, which comforting her knowing she wasn’t completely alone in the building, since the last time she’d done that, it took everything in her not to have a panic attack all the way to her car.

Even though her boss told her countless times not to stay past five o’clock, as he told every other female employee that worked for him that he didn’t wish to see attacked after sunset in the city. Of course, when she was the only one who didn’t listen to him, he hired more guards and one of them rounded the corner into her office space, ready to escort her all the way down to her car.

“Figured you were still here.” He leaned against the walls of her cubicle and watched as she startled, twisting to meet his eyes for a moment before she settled and returned to slipping her belongings into her purse.

“I don’t need you to escort me.” Zipping her purse, she rose from her chair, checking one last time across her desk to make sure she’d grabbed everything she needed to take home with her before turning to him as he still lingered in the opening of her little office.

William had been hired a couple months ago, and was only a year older than her, but even so he was more than a foot taller than her and his biceps were about as big as her head. While the entire office drooled over him, she tended to keep her eyes and her thoughts to herself.

“You say that every night you stay late. Just let me do my job and shut up about it.” He smirked at her and when her eyes met his again, sharply, glaring at him, she groaned and whirled past him toward the elevators. He followed swiftly behind, knowing she’d close the doors on him if he didn’t keep close enough pace with her, mostly because she’d done it before.

As he took his spot beside her and she pressed the button for the parking garage at the basement of the building, a familiar voice rang out through the office.

“Wait!” As if she wasn’t already annoyed enough with William’s presence, his stupidly large arm held the elevator doors open as Harry slipped inside a moment later.

“Thanks, mate.” Harry said exclusively to William as he caught his breath and stood wedged in the middle between the guard and Y/N, who was inching closer and closer into her corner to get away from Harry.

“You have any plans tomorrow?” Harry asked, his attention solely on William again while the elevator took off down through the levels of their building. Not fast enough for Y/N, of course.

William sighed, crossing his arms and trying to resist smiling. “Me and my girlfriend take turns surprising each other every year. And it’s her turn this year… so I guess I have plans, but I don’t know what they are.”

“Damn, way to make us feel incompetent.”

Y/N whirled her head to glare up at the side of Harry’s face. “Speak for yourself.” She warned.

Harry just ignored her though. “What did you guys do last year?”

Again, William stifled a grin. “I had been saving up for a while and took us both to Paris.”

“Shit.” Harry’s eyebrows rose and Y/N rolled her eyes away from him, watching the LED screen above the elevator doors as they neared the bottom levels of the building. She knew Harry and William had become friends, mostly because Harry was annoying and befriended everyone. Except her, of course. She heard his stupid voice again and wished she could just transport herself directly into the front seat of her car and be done with the both of them. “And now she has to do better than Paris.”

Y/N glanced around Harry just in time to see William smirk and she should have known what was about to come out of his mouth before it did. “Well, I don’t consider much better than her mouth ar—“

Y/N cut him off. “Ew! Are you serious?”

Both men eyed her curiously just as the elevator came to a stop and, with a ding, the doors opened. She flew toward them quickly.

“Y/N wait, I have to—“

Again, she cut him off, turning once she was out on solid ground. “I’ll be fine, besides trying to rid my mind of that image you just burned into it.” She turned on her heel and headed off toward her car.

William made a move toward her and Harry grabbed his arm, “I’ll walk her. Forgot she’s a bit of a prude.” They shared an amused look and Harry jogged out onto the concrete and asphalt until he reached her side.

“I heard that, you know… and I know for a fact your car is not parked in this direction.” She seethed and he just smiled to himself, happier than ever that she was in the mood to bicker with him, because he wasn’t quite in the mood to leave yet, where he’d have to wait till tomorrow morning at nine-thirty to see her again. And she wasn’t always the most talkative person on Valentine’s Day, either.

“Why are you the only female in our building not foaming at the mouth over him?” He asked instead, referring to William.

He heard her scoff. “Just because he’s attractive doesn’t mean I have to be interested… or want to hear about his girlfriend sucking his—“

“Cock?” Harry finished for her and within a second she spun around to face him, forcing him to stop in his tracks just inches from her now. His smirk only grew when he saw just how quickly he’d gotten her all flustered.

And then, as they started each other down, the hardness in her face softened and she drew out a breath, forcing his eyes to fall to her lips and his smirk to fall from his mouth. He thought back to last spring, when there were numerous late nights with her just like this one. When he went home and couldn’t stop thinking about…

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She asked and he blinked a couple times before he lifted his eyes.

“Like what?” He furrowed his brows, trying to track down all the resentment he had for her but he couldn’t find it anywhere anymore. He couldn’t summon it and say something that would save his ass from being caught looking at her like he wanted to kiss her.

Like he wanted to taste her and feel her against him, and hear what she sounded like when he tugged at her hair for more.

“Nevermind.” She shook her head, silencing the chaos going on in his brain. And then she turned, continuing the walk to her car with or without him, but, when she heard the echoing click of his shoes against the asphalt once more, she knew she wasn��t rid of him yet.

“I don’t suppose you’ll give me a ride back to my car, will you?” He easily stepped back into place beside her like nothing had happened.

She didn’t say anything for much longer than he was comfortable with. And then, finally, they reached her car and she sighed. “Get in before I change my mind.”

As she went for the driver’s side, he took quick steps to the opposite side, watching her over the top of her little Honda as she unlocked her door, and then, after clicking the button, his door as well. They both slipped in at the same time and while she fastened her seatbelt and settled in for her drive home, he sat perched with his backpack in his lap, knowing he’d be out of her car within only a couple minutes.

He still glanced around at his surroundings as she backed out of her parking space. “Should’ve guessed your car would be as neat as your desk.”

She didn’t say anything as she drove in the opposite direction of the exit toward the section of the garage Harry always parked in. It was closer to the elevators because he always came in before her and snagged a prime spot. She preferred an extra few minutes of sleep over walking an extra fifty steps.

And he started up again when she continued to not talk to him. “Most artists I know of are super messy.”

“I’m not an artist.” She gritted out through her teeth as she came to a stop once she spotted the rear-end of Harry’s BMW. Although she knew it well enough to distinguish it from the other black BMWs in the garage, it also helped that Harry had an old, faded license plate cover filled with a collage of cute pictures of puppies. He’d said it won him bonus points with women, but she also knew his screensaver at work was a picture of puppies as well, and no women he was interested in ever saw that.

He peeled his eyes off his car and looked over at her. “I know you can draw, too.”

She paused, gripping her steering wheel. She did enjoy both art and design and she knew Harry knew the difference between the two. She just didn’t know why he always insisted on bugging her about it.

“Yeah, well that doesn’t make me an artist.”

When he didn’t say anything, she glanced at him just in time to find him shrugging a shoulder like he was agreeing to disagree. Even if she couldn’t draw, he’d still consider her an artist because the things she managed to design always blew his mind and if that wasn’t art…

She rolled her eyes. “Are you going to get out, or do I have to drag you?”

He grinned, and it was almost as if her eyes refused to see anything else but his dimples and the bright whites of his teeth, and the birthmark to the side of his mouth…

“I’m going.” He assured, and yet he still hadn’t moved an inch. “Even though I’d love to see you try to drag me.” With her knuckles whitening on the steering wheel, he chuckled and unzipped the small pocket on the front of his backpack, withdrawing his keys as he finally swung her door open.

Once he was out, he gripped the top of the door and leaned back in to find her staring straight ahead. “Drive carefully, yeah? Would be quite tragic for your bitter ass to die on Valentine’s Day.”

She reached over and, despite having to brush her knuckles along the side of his thigh, grabbed the handle of the passenger door and yanked. His body remained in her way, however, and he was unfortunately a lot stronger than her.

Then she finally looked up at him, and those thoughts he had earlier surfaced again as much as he’d tried to bury them. This time though, he didn’t fight it as he glanced at her lips once more, then back at her eyes, which had widened slightly just before the dimples reappeared in his cheeks. “And I guess I would miss bickering with you every day.”

With that, he was gone and she retreated back to her seat as he shut the door for her. She had no idea what to think about what had just happened. Why he’d looked at her like that again. What that look even meant.

By the time she reached the freeway, she’d convinced herself she was just seeing things. Harry wasn’t looking at her in any other way he had before when he was intent on pestering her. But, as she took in the scent of him still lingering in the cabin, she allowed a small part of her to hope she was wrong.

Her eyes fell on the man down the hall from her door as she slipped her key into the lock, her brows furrowing as she watched him. It wasn’t unusual for their paths to cross, as they tended to get home around the same time, but it was quite odd to see him sitting on the floor outside his apartment, his head in his hands.

They’d said hi to each other a couple times in the mailroom, but she definitely didn’t know him well enough to go up and ask what his issue was or try to fix it for him. And after it was confirmed that he hadn’t, in fact, lost his keys, as they sat beside him on the floor along with his phone, she figured it best to leave him be.

Turning her key, she pulled her gaze from him and disappeared from the hallway.

The second she was inside her apartment, she felt all the weight lift right off her shoulders, especially when her cat came racing up, screaming at her from the floor while also coaxing her toward the kitchen to fill the food bowl. Whatever was going on with her neighbor still very much on her mind, she tried to focus instead on relaxing and getting both her and the screaming Pretzel some dinner.

She tried to remember his name as she heated up leftover pasta. She knew it started with an A, but her brain was coming up short. So, while Pretzel crunched on his food in his corner of the kitchen, she tried her hardest to remember.

And it was no question why she cared so much. Her neighbor was someone she was actually interested in, and she had been since she first saw him. Of course, she was never foolish enough to think he was into her, but she still let herself fantasize. He was tall, nearly black curly hair atop his head always in a state of disarray, and he had the most beautiful blue eyes she’d ever seen hidden behind his glasses. And, if she was being honest with herself, he was just a darker-haired version of Harry. Maybe that’s why she liked him.

The beeping of her microwave tore her thoughts from the dangerous path they’d been headed down. Harry’s voice rang in her head a moment later.

Like I’d lower my standards for you.

She’d needed to hear him say that, because sometimes her thoughts got carried away when it came to Harry and sometimes she did let herself be a fool who hoped. But after he’d said that one damning phrase, it was enough for her to stop. She didn’t meet a single one of his standards, inside or out.

Still, she tried her hardest not to go back out into the hall and make sure her neighbor was alright. Maybe he just needed someone to talk to and it wasn’t like she was doing anything important. Even if she didn’t have a dumb crush on him, as she did Harry, she still didn’t enjoy seeing him in the state he’d been in.

Before she could work up the nerve, however, a knock sounded through her quiet apartment.

She held her breath as she opened her door, really hoping it wasn’t the boy from across the hall, since she was still blanking on his name, but she couldn’t imagine anyone else knocking on her door this late into the evening.

So when she inevitably found him there, looking down at her through his annoyingly long lashes as she took in the horrible state he was in—red, inflamed eyes and hair that needed to see a brush rather than his hand—she completely lost her breath instead.

“Uh, sorry, I… saw you come in and I know we don’t talk and this is a weird thing for me to ask but…” He ran said hand through said messy hair and she found her breath again while looking up at him like she’d do whatever he’d asked just so he’d stop frowning.

He sighed, glancing down the hall toward his apartment and then met her curious and somewhat concerned gaze. “Can I come in?”

She recoiled. “Um… why?”

“Well, um, I was hoping you could help me with something and I’d rather not have the entire floor know about it.”

She was beyond confused now, but still, she stepped aside and let him pass, assuming that if he was actually a murderer he would have done her in a lot sooner than this. He had plenty of other opportunities. Plus, something in his face just… made her want to trust him.

She closed the door and turned to him, watching as his eyes scanned her kitchen and where her food still sat before he twisted around, eyes wide. “Shit, I’m sorry for interrupting.”

She shook her head. “It’s fine.” And after clearing her throat, she crossed her arms over her chest. “What do you, um… what do you need help with?”

He swallowed and she watched his Adam’s apple budge in his throat. “I don’t imagine you’ll like me very much after I ask but… I need a date.”

“What?” Again, she nearly flew out of her skin.

His eyes darted back and forth between hers, gauging her reactions and very obviously on the verge of seeing himself out and pretending this never happened. Instead, he stuffed away his pride and went on. “My ex… she, uh… well we broke up a few months ago and I saw her the other day and she’s seeing someone and we were talking and I… told her I was seeing someone too and so she invited me to go on this stupid double date with her… but the thing is… I’m not actually seeing anyone and I just told her that so she’d be jealous but she didn’t seem jealous at all and I don’t exactly have many friends to ask for help and I saw you and…” He rambled, but she managed to understand his predicament just fine.

“A double date? With your ex?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know either. She’s… she does weird shit but… I still want her back.”

Y/N’s heart ached in her chest. As much as she detested relationships, she was a sucker for other people’s relationships and she was definitely a sucker for her beautiful neighbor, even if he was asking to use her to make his ex-girlfriend jealous.

“Not that I’m saying yes but… when? And where?” She finally asked after thinking things over for a moment.

“Tomorrow night… I can pay you. I will pay you, I mean… but, seriously, you don’t have to do it I just thought I would ask.”

“Where is this date at?” She repeated when he didn’t answer that part of her question.

“At this party… and bef—“

She cut him off. “Okay so let me get this right. You want to hire me as your date to a Valentine’s Day party?”

He lifted a brow, “Well, there’s more… she wants to get dinner before going to the party.”

She shook her head, looking away, “I don’t really do Valentine’s Day…”

“You wouldn’t have to do much. I’ll pay for your dinner, too. Whatever you want. I just… really need your help and you’re my only option.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “You realize I’m not exactly…” she waved at her face and his eyebrows screwed together in confusion. “I’m not easy on the eyes and I don’t think taking me will make anyone jealous.”

He didn’t say anything for a while, just stared at her incredulously. She shifted her weight nervously and he finally opened his mouth. “You don’t actually think that, do you?”

Her features scrunched up and she kept her eyes planted on the middle of his chest. And then he realized that she, in fact, did.

“I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t have asked you to do this.” He also realized that using her to make his ex jealous would possibly hurt her more than it would help him and he could no longer fathom putting her through that. “I’ll figure it out. I’m sorry.” He moved to walk past her, back to his apartment but she stopped him before he got far.

“No… I’ll help you.” And then she realized his identity was still somewhat of a mystery to her. “This sounds even worse than what you just asked me to do, but… I completely forgot your name.”

He breathed out a laugh. “It’s Adam.”

She knew it had started with an A!

“Y/N.”

He smiled wider and nodded. “I know.” And then his face grew sad again. “I am really sorry I’m asking you to do this on Valentine’s Day, it’s definitely not my proudest moment.”

She waved him off. “I wasn’t going to do anything anyway. Just tell me what you need me to do.” She didn’t bother brining up the whole payment thing. She didn’t really care about being paid. He was nice, the only nice person she’d encountered in her apartment building and if getting him back together with his ex meant she’d never have to come home and see him in the fetal position on the floor again, she’d suffer through a date and a party on her least favorite holiday.

It was somehow even worse than it’d been yesterday. The decorations seemed to triple in size. Not an inch of the office was untouched by something pink and she prayed whoever had put up even more decorations had spared her little cubicle.

“Oh, hey, Y/N!” One of the receptionists most responsible for the overflowing decor, Kayla, called her over to her desk not even a minute after Y/N had arrived. And she stalked over until she saw the package Kayla pulled out that instantly lifted her spirits.

She stopped in front of Kayla’s desk and took the thin box from from her, already knowing what it was and thanking god for the timing so that her entire day wasn’t completely miserable. It was a new drawing pad she’d ordered, a bigger one that she hoped would be a bit more efficient to use than her current one.

Even with her back turned to the rest of the office, she sensed Harry’s presence long before he stopped beside her with his mug in hand.

He lifted a brow at the package in Y/N’s hands just as she reluctantly turned to look at him. “Getting gifts sent to the office? That’s a first.”

She rolled her eyes and stuffed the box under her arm, holding herself back from running off to her office to set it up. “Jealous?” She cocked her head.

And instead of his condescending smirk and a hateful response to go with it, the sparkle in his eyes seemed to fade as he eyed the box again, genuinely worried now that it was actually a gift from someone.

Before either could say anything, they all turned to find a delivery man walking up to Kayla with a giant bouquet of flowers in tow. And so it began. Although, when Kayla took the vase from the man eagerly, a bright smile on her face because Kayla loved love a little too much, Y/N couldn’t help but think about Adam. About how the only time she’d managed to get a date on Valentine’s Day was when it wasn’t even real. Instead, she’d stupidly agreed to help her cute neighbor win back his ex-girlfriend in exchange for a free dinner.

It was… pathetic. To say the least.

She felt Harry watching her, too, while she eyed the bouquet of flowers as they departed reception with Kayla and made their way to their recipient. As stupid as she found everything about the holiday, she couldn’t help but want someone to send her flowers. To give her anything for that matter. To have thought about her for at least a second of their day. Harry cleared his throat and she tore her eyes away.

“So… what’s in the box?”

“None of your business.” She rounded him, heading to her office, but he grabbed her free arm to stop her short and didn’t speak until she met his gaze again.

“Can we meet up in my office to finish the proposal? Think it’ll be easier to get it done than over email.”

She had every reason to be suspicious of him. They almost never worked in each other’s offices. When they did work together, which was often, it was in one of the empty conference rooms and it was usually at the beginning of the process when they needed the space to plan things out. The last time they’d really been in each other’s offices was last spring. Figuring he just wanted to get things done so he could be out of the office on time, she let it go.

“Give me fifteen minutes.”

He watched her walk away, watched her even as Kayla returned and noticed his gaze and giggled at him as she took her spot back behind her desk.

“It was something she ordered for herself, by the way.”

“What?” Harry whipped around again, not having even realized the other woman until now.

“I know you two pretend to hate each other but I see the way you look at her, Harry.” Kayla lifted a brow at him as she began typing on her keyboard.

He feigned disgust. “I’m seeing someone, you know.”

“Are you?”

“Yes.” He insisted. “I have a date. Tonight.”

She lifted her hands in surrender. “Okay… I’m just saying.”

“I don’t look at her.”

Kayla suppressed a smile and snorted instead. “If you say so. I guess you didn’t also sneak into her office this morning, either.”

“I think all these flowers and stuffed bears and heart-shaped things have gotten to your head.” He pointed around to the decor littering her desk while holding his mug steady.

Kayla met his eyes and her smile slipped off her face. “Harry, please don’t mess with her.”

His face screwed up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“If you don’t like her then don’t lead her on.”

“I don’t think she’s capable of being led on.”

Kayla froze for a moment and then nodded. “You’re right.”

He wasn’t sure what she meant by that either. “Why are you being weird?”

“Because,” Kayla sighed, brushing her curled brunette hair onto one shoulder and then lowered the volume of her voice. “I happen to know she doesn’t think very highly of herself and I’d rather not see her get hurt, especially not by you.”

Now Harry froze. The hand that gripped his mug tightened and he didn’t even flinch as it began to burn his skin. He heard Y/N’s voice in his head then as he drowned out his surroundings.

Some of us don’t have the luxury of choosing whomever we want.

He had instantly regretted what he’d said to her yesterday when she’d told him that. And now hearing Kayla, in a way, confirm what he’d read between the lines of Y/N’s words… his chest tightened in quite possibly the worst way ever. He’d hated himself most of the day after telling her he’d never lower his standards for her and he could say he was just bickering all he wanted, but he knew now for certain she took it the wrong way. And he wished more than ever that he hadn’t said something so horrible to her, especially when it was the farthest thing from the truth.

And the real truth, that he was trying desperately to shove away with stupid remarks like that, was that he didn’t meet her standards. She wasn’t into relationships and he knew he wasn’t good enough to change her mind.

“How do you know that?” He finally asked.

“That Christmas party last year… she’s a really happy drunk until she’s not.”

He flinched. “Did she say something?”

“I don’t want to get into it, mostly because I don’t think she remembers and would probably kill me if I told you but… just leave her be.”

He hardened back up again. “She does’t have any interest in relationships anyway, ‘specially not with me.”

Kayla scoffed. “She’s a really good liar.”

Harry stood there for a few more moments, feeling as if his life had just gotten flipped upside down. He’d been in such a good mood mere minutes ago before his dumbass waltzed into reception all because he’d seen Y/N. Because, despite everything and despite the fact he was already attempting to date someone else, it was Y/N he wanted to be close to all the damn time. Groaning, he turned on his heel and left for his office, hoping she wasn’t there waiting for him so he could have a moment to himself to gather his thoughts.

In a hurry to open her package, Y/N slumped down into her chair tossing her purse on the ground at her feet and pulling out her box cutter in a rush of movements. She was so distracted, in fact, that she didn’t even notice the little stuffed frog, the box of chocolates and envelope sitting on the other side of her desk near her mouse. Instead, she unboxed her new tablet and began setting it up, not noticing the gifts until she went to turn on her computer. And then she froze.

With reluctant hands she grabbed the envelope first, her name printed on it in perfect cursive. She knew nobody in the office who had such good penmanship. Opening the card in hopes of finding out who had placed the items on her desk, instead, she just found it signed as ‘secret admirer.’ Rolling her eyes, she set the card down and realized it had to be from her boss. Sometimes he remembered to go around and give everyone little gifts on the holidays. Obviously he’d remembered this year.

She dug into the chocolates as she set up her tablet and began calibrating it to suit her needs before finally testing it out in the little bit of time she had before she needed to make her way to Harry’s office.

And once that time came, she left everything in its place, besides the box of chocolates, which she continued to pick at while she made her way through the room. What she didn’t notice while stuffing her face with candy was that… no one else had a stuffed frog or chocolates or a cheesy little card on their desks.

She rounded the corner into Harry’s office, which was a real office and not a cubicle that he usually shared with one other person who was thankfully out with clients for the day. She knocked on the doorframe to get his attention after just watching him focus on his screen for a moment. Harry was cute when he was focused.

But then he turned to her and his eyes fell to the box in her hand.

When he didn’t say anything, she held it out toward him. “Do you want some? I think Andrew was feeling generous this year.”

Harry’s eyes quickly panned up to hers and his brows furrowed as if she’d just punched him in the gut. And she couldn’t make out what that expression meant no matter how hard she tried.

“He didn’t give me anything.” Harry motioned around his desk.

“Maybe he doesn’t like you.” She shrugged, setting the chocolates down on his desk while she grabbed his office mate’s chair and pulled it up beside him.

Harry sighed, turning to his computer for a moment and then watching her from his peripheral while she picked out another piece of chocolate. “I didn’t see anyone else with chocolates on their desks this morning.”

Y/N just shrugged. “There was a frog too. And a card.”

“And why do you think he’d give you all of that and no one else?” Harry hoped she’d get the hint but he didn’t hope too hard. She was still Y/N after all. And he really didn’t mean to sound so bitter… well, okay, he did. But he knew she’d misplace his bitterness, crushing what little hope there was to bits.

“Maybe he likes me better than all the rest of you.”

Harry scoffed, shaking his head as he put his attention back on his screen.

“No one else in this office would give me a card signed as a secret admirer so… maybe I did something I don’t remember doing and he’s thanking me?” Now that she really thought about it, and if Harry was right… then it really didn’t make much sense. It’s not like she was Andrew’s favorite employee.

Harry just lifted a brow and then pretended to lose all interest.

Sensing the tension, she slipped the box closer to him. “Here. I think you need a knock-off Snickers if you expect me to work with your grumpy ass.” He made no move to indulge her, however. And so she went on, continuing to poke the bear. “Why are you in a lousy mood anyway? Isn’t this your favorite holiday? And you get to leave early.”

His eyes fell from his screen and he stared at the brick of sticky notes below his monitor before mumbling, “I’m sorry about what I said yesterday.”

Taken aback, she searched what she could see of his face for answers to what he was apologizing for. He’d said a few things she could imagine deserved an apology and yet, so did she. Maybe she should have been the one to apologize to him first.

“I didn’t mean to say what I did.” He finally turned to meet her face on. He’d hoped the frog and the chocolates would have been atonement enough, but considering she thought they were from their boss and not him, he just had to suck it up and actually say what he meant.

She shrugged. “It’s fine. I can be a prude sometimes.”

He searched her eyes for a moment and then shook his head, “No that’s not… I meant what I said earlier in your office… about lowering my standards. It was a stupid thing to say and not true in the slightest.”

But then she smiled and he grew confused. “Yes it is. It’s okay to have standards, you know.”

“I know that. But if we… I wouldn’t have to lower my standards. And it was cruel of me to have said that to you.”

She couldn’t stand looking at him any longer and averted her gaze, clearing her throat. “Well it doesn’t matter so… can we just get this proposal done?”

He’d wanted to spend how ever long it took to convince her that it did, in fact, matter, but Y/N was persistent, more so than him, and so he’d given in and they moved on to being productive with their time. And in less time than he’d anticipated their proposal was finished, being sent off to Andrew for approval before their presentation at the end of the week with their clients.

Harry sat back in his chair and she returned her own to the other desk where it belonged, all while he watched her.

“What do you do on Valentine’s Day?” He asked, just trying to get her to stay longer, knowing that if those were his true intentions, then he was fucked. That he wanted to be around Y/N, even though he was seeing someone else, albeit for just a week so far, even though she’d never want the same from him.

Maybe he was just as terrible with relationships as she claimed if he always chased after what he couldn’t have.

“That is also none of your business.” She grabbed her box of chocolates from his desk, his voice pinning her in place again though.

“Let me guess… it involves chocolate, your cat, and the most anti-romantic movies you can find?”

He would not think her very prudish if he knew what else she did on Valentine’s Day while alone in her apartment, but she figured it was best to keep that to herself. Instead, she smiled at him. “Something like that.”

He narrowed his eyes and threw his arms up behind his head as he laid back in his chair, watching her curiously like he was trying to figure her out. Meanwhile, she was trying to not make it obvious she was staring at his biceps as they just about bulged from underneath the sleeve of his pink button-up. He’d done it on purpose though, so as much as she tried to hide it, he still grinned with satisfaction when she became flustered.

“Well, have fun with that, then.” He nodded, and for a moment while she was lost in his eyes and growing embarrassingly hot, she wondered if he could read her mind. If he knew exactly what not-so-innocent things she did on Valentine’s Day. Then he brought his arms back down to rest his elbows on the edge of his desk, pinching his bottom lip between his fingers and watching as she rolled her eyes, held her chocolates close, and left his office.

Adam arrived right when he said he would at five-thirty. It had given her plenty of time to change out of her work clothes and into one of the few dresses she owned, to at least seem somewhat convincing that this was a real date. She also fixed her makeup and put on a pinkish-nude lipstick before switching out her bulky purse for a smaller crossbody.

When she opened the door to him, he most certainly did not disappoint. She almost let herself get lost in the delusion that it was a real date when she saw him dressed to the nines and cleaned up for the first time since she’d known him. And she especially got a little lost in it when he pulled a small bouquet of flowers from behind his back and handed them to her.

“You didn’t have to—“

“I know.” He gave her a once over when she wasn’t looking. “You didn’t have to do this for me either.”

She quietly accepted the flowers and let him in while she found a vase and filled it with water. He leaned on the counter, watching her as she did so.

“You look… beautiful, by the way.” He blurted out once she had cut and placed the stems into the vase. Her hands froze, though, and when he met her eyes, he knew he’d made a mistake.

“You’re paying me to make your ex-girlfriend jealous. Please don’t flatter me.”

“Sorry.” He muttered, although he was beginning to wonder if the bigger mistake was not taking her out on a proper date that had nothing to do with his ex.

She sighed and adjusted the strap of her purse. “Let’s go then.”

He went over all the final details on the Uber ride to the restaurant. Things about his ex he thought Y/N should know about. And he made sure she knew, for about the hundredth time, that she didn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to. And she reminded him for an equal amount of times that she never did anything she didn’t want to do. So, settling that, he helped her out of the back of the Uber when they arrived and opened the door to the restraint for her as well. Everything that she’d expect from a normal date, which only left her disappointed when she reminded herself it wasn’t.

She waited quietly, and tried to catch her nerves, while Adam talked to the hostess and gave her his ex’s name for the reservation. The place was packed and anyone who didn’t call ahead surely would not be getting a table tonight. She’d never been out on Valentine’s Day, though, so it was like stepping into a brand new world for her. And as she followed both the hostess and Adam, she paid more attention to all the couples enjoying their meals than anything else.

Except for when he reached back and grabbed her hand, entwining their fingers just before they came to a stop. She blinked her eyes at their hands for just a moment before he gently pulled her around next to him. And whatever way she’d felt about holding Adam’s hand went right out the window when she locked eyes with Harry.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

The last thing she expected to find, while Laura, the gorgeous blonde ex-girlfriend, stood to hug Adam, was Harry fucking Styles. And what a fucking coincidence it was, almost as if this was her karma for feeling the need to constantly help people.

Adam’s hand slipped from hers but she didn’t even notice it anyway. She and Harry still stared each other down and neither of them moved a muscle either. Well, besides the one in his jaw as it tightened. Then he did move, glancing over at Adam with a blank expression before landing his gaze back on her again. And then his eyes fell to the glass of water in front of him and she felt like she’d been released from chains he’d tied around her wrists.

“This is Y/N,” Adam’s hand went to the small of her back, guiding her forward to meet his ex-girlfriend and Harry’s current… whatever they were.

Laura held out her hand, her smile a little too forced. “Laura. It’s nice to meet you. Please, sit.” She ushered them to the table as she took her spot beside Harry again. Adam, of course, took the chair opposite Laura, which left Y/N in the one opposite Harry.

This would be a long, hellish night.

She couldn’t help but wonder what Harry was thinking. That maybe she’d come to crash his date. Or, even worse, that he’d already figured the whole thing out. That Adam was paying her to be here. She really hoped he’d never find out because it was just embarrassing enough to make her want to change her name and move across the country, thousands of miles away from him. Harry finding out that she couldn’t get a real date to save her life… beyond humiliating.

“This is Harry.” Laura motioned to him and he just barely lifted his gaze, nodding at Adam and ignoring Y/N entirely. “You know,” the blonde went on, glancing between Adam and Y/N, “I was a little shocked when you told me you were seeing someone again.”

Adam just shrugged.

“How did you guys meet?”

Y/N left all the talking to him. Mostly because she was still in shock that she was sitting across from Harry. And she hadn’t even taken the time to properly take him in and realized he’d also changed his clothes since work. Swapping his wardrobe out for a fitted black button-up, that wasn’t buttoned all the way to the top as his shirts normally were. The sleeves were already rolled to his elbows. He’d shaved off the scruff along his jaw as well and fixed his hair so that it was combed back out of his face, although a a couple rebellious strands hung down onto his forehead. He looked… like absolute perfection. And he was being forced to be on a date with the ex-boyfriend of the girl he was seeing and his annoying co-worker. She felt terrible for him.

“Oh, uh, well we live on the same floor.”

Laura nodded, clearly anticipating more. “Is that it?”

Y/N felt Adam tense up beside her and so she took over, easily spinning a lie. “I ran out of milk one night a few weeks ago. He’s the only one who answered the door.”

She noticed a flash of movement in her peripheral and turned to find Harry’s gaze on her again, one eyebrow lifted curiously. He was either wondering how she hid it so well, or trying to figure out what to ask in order to reveal their ploy. He never said anything, though.

“Sorry, um,” Laura’s tone changed as she glanced between Harry and Y/N, both of them looking away when the other girl interrupted. “Do you two know each other?”

Harry grinned, sitting back against his seat and folding his hands in his lap. “Something like that.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “We work together.”

“Really?” Although her tone said otherwise, Laura’s face said everything about how she felt upon hearing that bit of information.

Adam twisted his worrisome gaze to Y/N, but she ignored it. Harry, however, did not.

“Don’t worry, mate. I was under the impression she was celibate up until now.” With that, Y/N kicked him under the table and he sat forward to swallow the groan that very nearly left his lips after she’d jabbed him in the shin with the toe of her heels. “Guess she’s really good at hiding things, though.”

Adam just chuckled nervously and Y/N shot him an apologetic smile, trying to reassure him that this date would still work out despite Harry.

“What a small world.” Laura laughed, trying to break the tension but dinner hadn’t even started yet.

Sometime during the main course, Laura excused herself to the bathroom and Y/N almost, in a desperate attempt to flee both Adam and Harry, invited herself along. But she figured it’d be worse to be alone with Laura than with them. Laura might ask questions she wasn’t prepared for. So, she stayed put, as much as it pained her to do so.

“So, Adam, what do you do for a living?” Harry asked suddenly and she wanted to kick him again. Mostly because his tone was that of a jealous teenager and he’d waited until Laura was gone to pester her ex-boyfriend who most certainly did not deserve Harry’s pestering.

“Oh, uh, I’m an artist. I work for an animation studio at the moment but I’m trying to get into freelance.”

Harry’s eyes shot to the suspiciously quiet girl sitting across from him. “So is Y/N.”

Adam turned to look at her, but she just glared at Harry. “Oh, I didn’t know that.”

Harry titled his head as he narrowed his attention in on Adam again. “So you’ve known her for a few weeks and you never asked what she did?”

“Harry.” Y/N warned, trying to kick him under the table again but he dodged out of the way.

“Well… she said she was in graphic design… not art.” She had told him that, during their crash course yesterday while they got to know as much as they could about each other in a span of a couple hours.

“I think it’s the same thing.”

Adam just shrugged. “I guess. I don’t think I could be a designer, though. Most artists make what they think looks good, designers create things to appeal to customers.”

“Just ignore him.” Y/N advised and Harry was the one shooting her daggers and attempting to stomp his foot on top of hers under the table this time.

“You and Laura used to date then? She never told me how you split up.” Harry moved on.

Adam swallowed nervously. “She broke up with me.”

“Why?” Harry pushed and Y/N looked at him like she wanted to kill him, which he ignored.

“I, uh… I had a drug problem for a while. I was not the best person to be around sometimes. But after we broke up, she helped me with rehab and everything.”

“Guess that explains why you’re on such good terms.”

Now Y/N really wanted to do more than just kick him.

Adam grabbed Y/N’s hand under the table and pulled her straight from her violent thoughts about Harry. And he didn’t lace his fingers between hers, instead, it felt as if he had just been looking for something to ground himself with. And her hand resting on her lap was the closest thing he could find. It didn’t, however, go unnoticed by Harry and his jaw clenched as he stared at the point in the table where, just below, there their hands met almost as if he was trying to set everything on fire.

Laura returned shortly after that.

As promised, Adam paid the entirety of both his and Y/N’s bill, even though she attempted to snag it from him, seeing as the date had gone to shit and it was all her fault. Well… maybe it was also Harry’s fault a little bit too. But she definitely did nothing to make Laura jealous. Adam, on the other hand, did a great job at making Harry jealous just by existing and being Laura’s ex, whom she was still friends with.

The four of them stood outside on the curb awaiting their Uber after dinner was over, agreeing upon splitting one car to get to the party instead of taking two. Laura was apparently very cautious about fossil fuel consumption.

Y/N shivered as she stood between Adam and Laura, wishing she’d bright a jacket instead of relying on a long-sleeve dress to keep her warm. Then an arm wrapped around her shoulders and Adam pulled her close, running his hand up and down her arm to form heat. She tensed up, though, forming into an immovable brick. She had no idea the last time she’d been that close to another person, let alone a member of the opposite sex. When he felt her go rigid, he leaned down until his lips were at her ear. “Is this okay?”

She just nodded and tried to relax. Which turned out to be quite easy because Adam was warm and he smelled nice. She, of course, didn’t let her mind wander off too far. He was still in love with his ex. He’d still shove cash into her hand at the end of the night for her troubles and go on with his life.

Adam let go of her when the car pulled up and quickly went to the passenger door to confirm with the driver. Then he opened the back door for the three of them to climb in, Laura going first, then Harry, and, at last, Y/N, while Adam slipped into the front seat beside the driver.

While the car took off, Y/N was shoved into the corner when Harry moved closer to her in order to find both his and Laura’s seat buckles in the dark. Eventually, he settled back into the middle and gave her some space again. When she made no move to do the same as them, Harry turned to look down at her.

“Put your seatbelt on.” He whispered.

Her eyes whirled up to his. Wordlessly, and of course after rolling her eyes, she grabbed her seatbelt and he made room for her to buckle it in. Then she sat back in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest while she stared out at the traffic through her window.

She would have stayed in that exact position the entire trip, too, if Harry’s knee didn’t insist on bumping into hers constantly. And she couldn’t tell if he was doing it on purpose or not.

When she glanced up at him, and found the corner of his lips curl upward, she figured it was, in fact, purposeful. So, with the hand closest to him as her arms were still crossed, she poked him in the side, right against his ribs, hoping it hurt.

“Ouch.” He whined, covering the spot with his hand dramatically. Everyone in the car glanced at Harry, all except for Y/N who snickered as she returned to staring out the window.

Harry wasn’t giving up, though. This time, with his arms crossed in his lap, and glancing at Laura to be sure she wasn’t watching, he walked his pointer and middle finger up the outside of Y/N’s thigh, close enough to her hip to make her squirm slightly when his touch tickled her. And as soon as he got her attention, he looked down at what he was doing and pressed his middle finger against her, meeting her gaze with a smirk.

In the same moment, the driver turned up the music in the car as they waited tirelessly at a red light. It was better than silence or listening to his passengers breathing. But Harry mentally thanked him and turned his attention back to Y/N, leaning into her slightly until his lips were at her ear and she shivered for an all new reason.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a dress before.” He whispered for her ears only. The music was especially loud in the back and he wasn’t sure Y/N had even heard him.

Especially since she didn’t respond right away. But how could she? Harry’s fingertips were still grazing her thigh, as if trying to emphasize the dress she had on. And his stupid knee was pressed right up against hers. She couldn’t think straight.

Though when she finally turned to him and whispered back, “Don’t get used to it,” he knew she had, in fact, heard him well enough.

He leaned again, “Afraid I already am.”

She hated that there were butterflies in her stomach. That he was saying such odd things to her when his date was sitting just on the other side of him. The date who most definitely met all Harry’s standards.

Huddling away from him, she stuck her eyes out the window and kept them there the rest of the trip.

It was just past eight when they arrived, a fifteen-minute trip up through the city taking half an hour due to all the Valentine’s Day traffic. Another reason she hated this holiday.

The party was being held by Laura’s best friend, who’s name Y/N did not care to commit to memory. In the elevator ride up to the penthouse, though, Harry stood close to Laura, his arm wrapped around her waist and Adam to Y/N, although he didn’t touch her. She wouldn’t have minded if he did, but she figured it was best to keep those boundaries in place anyway.

Pink and golden balloons littered the ceilings of the penthouse. The drink cups were also pink, as was the communal punch bowl that Y/N steered clear of, having no idea what was in it, or who had already spiked it. She knew nobody at the party besides who she’d come with, though she assumed both Adam and Harry were somewhat acquainted with Laura’s friends.

It was most definitely not someplace Y/N ever saw herself being at, not only because it was a Valentine’s themed party, but also because she wasn’t exactly comfortable around so many people. Especially when those people were all so unfamiliar to her.

“Here,” Adam handed her a drink and then grabbed one for himself. She downed the thing in one go, needing to take the edge off. It might’ve been a slight mistake when the alcohol burned the back of her throat, but she didn’t care too much when she grabbed another.

Then he was leading her into the dancing pit of bodies where they huddled close enough so that his lips were at her ear. “Is it alright if I touch you?”

She glanced over at where Laura and Harry had been left, finding both her hazel eyes and Harry’s green ones glued to the both of them. She wasn’t sure what Harry’s deal was, but this was her moment to fix things and make Laura jealous, so, turning back to Adam, she nodded.

He eased his hands onto her waist as they began swaying to the music. And then he pulled her closer, his hands slipping to the small of her back as her arms wrapped around his neck, being careful with her own movements even though she desperately wanted to sink her hands in his hair.

And, god, he smelled so good as her head rested in the crook of his neck. And he felt good, too, as he moved against her body. She knew it wasn’t real, and that the alcohol was making skewing her perception of things, but it was still nice. Nice to be held and to just let go for a change.

Over Adam’s shoulder, Y/N caught Harry’s eyes again. His jaw clenched and he looked the same as he did back at the restaurant. Angry. And then she realized that maybe she wasn’t really trying to make Laura jealous anymore at all, but rather Harry.

It was dumb, she knew that. He’d have to like her in order for her to make him jealous. But… the way he was looking at her. The way he had looked at her. His eyes lingering too long on her lips. What he’d done in the car ride here.

She heard Adam in her ear again. “I think it’s working. She just stormed off into the kitchen.” Then he pulled away and she realized she hadn’t even seen Laura. Just Harry. Harry and his stupid, obnoxious green eyes.

“You owe me more than just dinner.” Y/N teased but Adam grew serious.

“I know. And since you refuse to accept my money, I’ll have to figure out another way to repay you.” He smiled and then twirled her around so that she no longer had any line of sight toward Harry. He pulled her close again, one hand going to her waist while the other stayed locked to one of hers. “Suppose I could start with making your coworker just as jealous… although I think he already is.”

Confusion flooded her features as she peered up at him.

“Oh, come on! He was ready to rip my head off when he realized I’d grabbed your hand. And when I put my arm around you? I thought I might be better off just giving you my jacket and freezing to death instead.”

“I don’t…” she shook her head in disbelief. It was one thing for her to be pretending to make Harry jealous in some delusional hope that it’d work. But this… this was a whole other thing.

“I’m actually quite interested to see what he does if I kissed you.”

She was shocked at first and then, possibly due to the alcohol, just as interested. “Are you asking my permission?”

“Are you saying yes?”

Y/N hesitated. “Is she back?”

Adam’s eyes scanned the room and Y/N realized he hadn’t asked to kiss her for Laura’s sake at all.

“She is.” He finally announced.

Without any more second guessing, Y/N’s hand slipped to the back of his neck and pulled him in. As soon as their lips collided and she tasted the alcohol on him, she knew that she’d never agreed to this without it. Or maybe she would. Adam spun them back around again, deepening the kiss as her eyes opened and fell into the direction she’d last seen Harry.

He was still there.

Still watching.

His hands in fists. His jaw tightened into a crisp line. His nostrils flared. His eyes… sad.

She pulled away. Adam steadied her, grabbing her shoulders when she swayed. But, as she caught her breath, the dizziness went away.

“I’m going to find the bathroom.” She told him and after he nodded, she left, forming a rift for herself through the bodies that danced all around them until she was in the clear. Then she was avoiding Harry as she walked past him, not so sure his gaze was still set on her. Maybe she’d gone too far. She didn’t often just kiss people for no good reason and that’s exactly what she’d just done with Adam. She barely even knew him.

She didn’t exactly need the bathroom, just an open, empty and quiet place. And so, she fell back against a wall in the foyer and ran a hand through her hair.

“That was quite the show.”

She startled at the sound of his familiar voice and looked up just as he stopped a few feet away from her. “What are you talking about?”

He lifted a brow. “You expect me to believe that that you, anti everything to do with this holiday and with relationships and romance, are actually dating that guy?”

“Is it that hard to believe?” She crossed her arms, willing to go as far as she needed to before she let Harry see the truth. That she was that pathetic.

“Yes.” He didn’t even hesitate to respond and she flinched.

“Well, I’m sorry that you have a hard time believing that someone may actually like me.” She had no reason to nearly be shouting at him and no reason to be saying what she was because Adam didn’t like her.

“That’s not what I said. It’s hard for me to believe you just dropped all your ideas about relationships for some guy with obnoxious blue eyes.”

“I didn’t.”

“So then what is this?”

Y/N hesitated. Hating that the truth was about to boil over out of her mouth for him to see all the embarrassing bits of it, but she had no other way of convincing him. And it didn’t really help that Adam was so far out of her league that it wasn’t even convincing to begin with. Nor did she want to convince Harry of anything either. It was clear now that he hadn’t been jealous, he was just trying to figure out when she stopped hating relationships so much.

And the truth of that was she never really hated them. It was just easier telling herself she didn’t want it than admitting no one ever actually wanted her.

She trembled, not even sure why, but he was making her incredibly nervous, so much that she wished she could rewind and stay squished next to him in the back of the car forever. Being that close to him... his stupid fingers on her thigh, whispering things in her ear that made her head spin. She’d much prefer that than standing in front of him now, seeing every ounce of judgment he was about to throw her way.

“What do you want me to say, Harry?” She shrugged and dropped her eyes to the white marble floors between them, focusing on calming her anxiety while she was no longer looking at him. “He needed a date and I felt bad for him.”

“What does that mean?”

Letting her head fall back against the wall, she stared up at the ceiling this time as her eyes burned with embarrassment. “He paid me to be his date so his ex-girlfriend didn’t find out he wasn’t actually seeing anyone. That’s what it means.”

Harry didn’t say anything.

“So, yeah.” She folded her arms, looking down at the floor again, still unable to meet Harry’s eyes and see the look that would be on his face. A smirk of amusement at her expense. Even probably his dimples, taunting her and turning her into the joke she already was. “You were right. I can’t find anyone to tolerate me, which is why I’m on this stupid date that isn’t even real.”

“Him kissing you seemed quite real to me.”

There was more exasperation than humor to her laugh. “It wasn’t.”

Harry seemed to finally understand. “He’s trying to make Laura jealous.”

Y/N just nodded. “I promise I didn’t know you were going to be there, that he was trying to get her back from you.”

“You still kissed him though.”

She couldn’t argue that, nor could she tell him the real reason she’d agreed to the kiss. That it wasn’t exactly Laura she was trying to make jealous. She’d never live that one down, if she ever managed to live any other aspect of this night down.

When she didn’t say anything, he stepped closer. “Why did you kiss him?”

“I’m sorry, Harry I just... I don’t know.”

He shook his head and took another step, making her eyes widen when he was close enough that she had to crane her head back to meet his gaze. “Seemed like you were trying to make me jealous.”

She swallowed, not exactly in the position to laugh it off and argue with him when he was this close and all she could feel were the traces of his fingertips on her thigh. Her voice was quiet when it finally came out. “Making you jealous would mean I assumed you liked me in the first place... which I’m definitely not stupid enough to assume.”

A crease formed between his brow and his stupidly perfect jaw hardened as if he was biting his tongue from saying something. And fuck him for choosing then to finally stop opening his mouth.

Just then, a pair of drunk guys, one on the other’s back, came racing through the foyer, screaming at the top of their lungs while a few others followed quickly after them. It was enough to force Harry away from Y/N again, enough for the both of them to step out of the little bubble they’d been in together the past ten minutes.

Once they were alone again, their eyes gravitated toward each other and just when she thought Harry might say something after all, he flipped around on his heel and left. And she watched as he turned the corner and mixed back into the party.

After a few moments to gather herself, she followed him, not exactly sure what she was going to do now that Harry wouldn’t talk to her and it felt weird being with Adam while Harry knew everything. But, whatever plans to keep herself occupied no longer matted when she spotted Laura.

Making out with Adam in the middle of the room.

Without even thinking, she turned to locate Harry and he might as well have been a source of gravity because her eyes fell right to him within a second. And he was watching them too. He knew.

He met Y/N’s eyes and she wasn’t quite sure if he was upset or not. She couldn’t really read anything on his face, and stopped attempting to when he moved towards her and she had other things on her mind, like where he was going and if he was going to bother taking her with him.

Shortly after he stormed past Y/N she made sure he wasn’t going to leave her behind and chased after him. She didn’t know Adam very well and definitely not Laura to want to stay with them. And everyone else in the room were complete strangers to her. Adam had promised he’d take her home, but he probably hadn’t expected to be making out with his ex by the end of the night, either.

Harry didn’t say anything, not even when they’d reached the foyer and Y/N asked where he was going. He just located his jacket and slipped it on before making his way out the front door.

And right when she thought he really was going to leave her behind, since she was the reason he’d just lost Laura to her ex, he held the door open and glanced over his shoulder at her while she still stood on the other side of the threshold.

“Are you staying?”

Without a word, she sprung into motion and trailed right behind him into the hallway like a lost puppy, letting the door shut behind her that cut them off from the music as it faded into the background behind them.

It was a silent trip down the elevator, mostly because she had no idea what to say that would sound sincere and he didn’t say anything at all. At least not until she followed him through the lobby until he stopped on the curb just outside the main doors.

She took up the spot next to him, eyes glued to the side of his face as he took in a deep breath of fresh air, or at least as fresh as traffic allowed it to be.

Then he spoke, and it seemed like the first time she’d heard his voice all night. “I’m the one who gave you the chocolates and the frog.”

She narrowed her eyes, both not exactly sure why he’d just said that or if he was even being serious. “What?”

He looked down at her. “It wasn’t Andrew, it was me.”

“Why?” She breathed and while she was positive she’d be freezing cold soon, the fresh air after being surrounded by so many people felt good. It felt freeing and she wondered if he felt that way too.

His eyes scanned hers before he looked away. “Well partly to apologize for what I said.”

“What’s the other part?”

Sighing, he turned his entire body to face her now. “Something else entirely…” He trailed off, only confusing her more as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and stared at his feet. “I didn’t tell you because I know you don’t like all this stuff, but seeing you with him tonight... I wish I had.”

“It’s not that big of a deal. It’s just a frog.”

He shook his head, grinning. “It’s not just a frog, Y/N... because the thing is,” he paused to catch his breath, “I’ve been in love with you for... a really long time… since last spring. But with you being the way that you are, I never thought you’d feel the same way.”

She opened her mouth and then closed it.

“And then you come in with that guy and...” He pulled his fingers through his hair. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more jealous in my life... because all this time I thought you weren’t interested in relationships, but you just weren’t interested in me.”

Inhaling, she summoned every ounce of courage she could fathom. “You were right about why I kissed Adam.” He lifted a brow, waiting for her elaboration which never came. “You were right about other things, too. I wish I had someone to come home to almost every single night I got to bed alone. No one—“ She cut herself off, trembling again as tears stung her eyes. “I pretend not to be interested so I can ignore the fact that no one’s ever wanted me.”

“That’s not true.” He had that same look on his face as before, when she’d told him she wasn’t stupid enough to think he liked her.

She just nodded. “And I’m sorry but... why would you want me when you could have someone like Laura?”

“Y/N...” He huffed and stepped closer to her, the heat from his body making her shiver. “This is not the first time I started seeing someone to get over you... in fact, all my relationships since I met you have been shit.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Well you’re very anti-relationships so I think I was justified in wanting to avoid you rejecting me… especially since we work together and it would have been really awkward.”

“I don’t, uh... I...” She stammered, not really sure what to say to him even though her heart was screaming at her in full volume.

He held his breath and then, in almost a whisper, “Is this the inevitable rejection?”

“No.” She didn’t even hesitate that time and at this point, her mind no longer controlled the words coming out of her mouth as she let another organ finally speak for itself. “No, I liked you the second I saw you, Harry... and at no point tonight was I ever trying to make Laura jealous.”

The corners of his mouth began to curl into a smile. “That was very cruel of you to do to me.”

“I didn’t think you liked me at all twenty minutes ago, Harry.”

“Twenty minutes ago,” he fully invaded all of her space now, leaving the smallest gap between their bodies as he could get away with, lifting his hand to her jaw and rubbing his thumb over her cheek. “I was still on this date with the wrong person.”

“I think the date is over now.”

“No,” his eyes fell to her lips just like they had before. “It’s not.”

“You’re looking at me like that again.” She mumbled, out of breath.

He lifted a brow and didn’t once remove his eyes from her lips. “Like what?”

“Like…” she trailed off, not having the courage to say it in case she wasn’t right.

“Like I’ve wanted to kiss you for a very long time and I’m tired of pretending?”

“Something like that, yeah.”

He grinned, both of his dimples making an appearance just before he leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. And once her brain realized what was happening, she sunk right into him, letting his arm wrap around her waist as his other hand tangled its way into her hair to bring her closer. She threw her arms over his shoulders and he hunched lower to meet her. She staggered back a step when he did, nearly losing her balance but he caught her instantly and then drew his lips back as he laughed.

“This is not how I expected tonight to end.” She couldn’t help but think the way he struggled to catch his breath was possibly the hottest he’d ever been. Not to mention the tiny bit of her lipstick smeared on his face. She could look at him just the way he was right there and then for days and be perfectly satisfied.

“It doesn’t have to end yet.” She fully blamed her sudden burst of confidence on the cold, but refreshing February night. And maybe she also just wanted to get out of it before it caught up to her and she would, yet again, regret not having a jacket.

“Oh?” She wanted to smack the mischievous smirk off his face and leave him there on the curb. “And here I thought you were a prude.”

“You thought a lot of things about me that weren’t true, Harry.”

He thought about that for a moment and after realizing she was right, he then wondered just how wrong he was when he’d called her celibate. “I suppose… I’d quite like to find out just how wrong I was.” He slipped a loose strand of her hair back behind her ear, which is where his lips ended up as he whispered softly, “And I’d also quite like to show you just how wrong you were about me not liking you.”

They stumbled into her bedroom in the dark, Pretzel racing out between their twisted feet in a hurry, screeching at them in the process. Harry giggled against her lips, “Your cat sounds friendly.”

“Well, since I was supposed to be spending tonight with her, and chocolate, and anti-romantic movies…” She pulled away from him, watching as his smile spread further. Maybe she could actually believe he’d been in love all this time.

“Right… I’d be upset too.”

She shook her head and kissed him again, then pulled back a second later. “You know that’s not actually what I do on Valentine’s Day.”

He lifted a brow and waited for her to explain but she didn’t.

“And what is it that you do, then?” He finally asked, curiosity getting the best of him, although he had some inkling as to what she was talking about.

Her smile was devoid of innocence as her hands fell to his belt. Harry’s shirt had already been lost to the kitchen floor. Her dress hardly covering what it was supposed to once Harry had gotten his hands on it.

“Maybe you’ll get to find out.”

When she brought her lips back to his, after undoing the buckle just under his navel, he spun them around and led her backwards to the bed. He wasn’t sure how far it was, but hoped he was headed in the right direction. And because of that, when her knees did finally bend over the mattress, he practically came flying down on top of her.

She squirmed out from under him, crawling back towards the pillows as she watched him at the end of the bed while he stood and removed his belt completely, trying not to drool at the sight of him. At the sight of Harry, her fucking annoying ass, perfect, beautiful, coworker standing shirtless at the end of her bed where he was also about to be…

He pushed his trousers down off his hips and they fell to the floor with ease, almost with the same amount of ease that her eyes fell to the tight boxer-briefs he wore underneath. She swallowed as he adjusted the waistband back into place, quite certain that, even in the low light, her eyes were not deceiving her.

The bed shifted at her feet as he joined her, and then it took all her willpower to not fling herself at him as he crawled up the length of her. As he settled himself between her thighs and she felt every last, very hard, inch of him pressed against her. She couldn’t be blamed for the whining moan that she let out in his ear as his lips became familiar with the shape and taste of her neck. She also couldn’t be blamed when her hips instinctively collided with his.

He just giggled again and shook his head, the loose strands of his curls tickling her forehead. “Easy now.” He warned in a hushed mumble, his lips vibrating right against the vein in her neck that pulsed so much faster the more his free hand began to wander up underneath her dress.

He left her speechless for multiple reasons, but the main one was when she felt his fingers tracing down her thigh and then, moments later, after he shifted his weight and used his knees to keep her legs open, she sucked in a breath of air as she felt him pressed against her clit, forcing her nails to dig into his back but he didn’t seem to mind.

Coming back down to kiss her, he began moving his hand in expert little circles, grinning against her mouth every time her body begged him for more. It wasn’t long that he complied, either, when he sat back on his knees between her legs and tugged her underwear off for good, throwing it to the depths of her bedroom floor. He wouldn’t have known where they landed even if he tried because his gaze belong to her only as he lowered himself to his elbows before her, kissing his way up her thighs until he reached her center.

When she squirmed away from him, he wrapped his arms around her thighs and pressed his hands into her hips after gently moving her dress out of the way.

“You know when we used to stay late at the office working?” He asked suddenly and the heat of his voice against her made her squirm again, but he held on tight. “And you would get sick of sitting in an office chair and made me promise not to tell Jim when you sat on his desk instead?” She had no clue where he was going with it, but still, she nodded. “Every single time I turned to look at you, I thought about doing this.” Before she could get words out or even a coherent thought, she felt his tongue on her. And this time when she jerked against him, she nearly slipped out of his hold until he grabbed her again and pulled her back down, digging himself further into her as she struggled to breathe properly.

She dug her fingers into his hair when he brought her close to the edge and showed no mercy. And somehow, she’d managed to get the sole of her foot up onto his shoulder in order to kick him away, but it didn’t matter much because he never budged. Not that she wanted him to, but he just felt so good…

“Harry!” She shouted, pulling at his hair and making matters worse for herself when he moaned against her sensitive bundle of nerves. He let her come, never once lifting his mouth from her even as her hips jerked off the mattress and she very nearly pulled his hair out. When she stopped screaming, her voice caught in her throat because she was lost to her own orgasm, is when he lifted his mouth, replaced it with his fingers and watched her as she came down. As her eyes fluttered shut and her chest heaved, her lungs struggling to get oxygen back into her system. Her hold on him loosened as she came undone around him, melting into his hands it seemed like.

And when he began rubbing his index and middle finger into her, once she was far and beyond overstimulated, and he knew that, she reached down with a whine and grabbed his wrist with what little strength she had in her and pulled him away. His hand fell to the other side of her hip, which he used to his advantage to pull himself up over her again, his other hand taking her dress with it until he was able to tug it over her head and toss it. Then he came back down to kiss her, letting her taste herself on her lips. He rubbed his thumb across her cheek and when he pulled away, found her looking at him finally. Although it was with heavy lids as she still struggled to regain her bearings.

Before they could get much further, a loud crashing sound from the other room made both of them nearly jump out of their skin. She shot up instantly, grabbing hold of Harry’s bicep before moving him out of the way and sliding off the edge of the bed.

“It’s just the cat.” Harry would have probably said the same thing even if it was not just the cat, he’d say anything just to get her to stay with him.

“I know but it sounded like…” her voice trailed off as her feet hit the floor and the moment she went to stand on her own two legs, her knees buckled. He reached to grab her waist but she righted herself before he could. She didn’t see the way he hid his cheeky smirk at the fact that he’d been so good, she was still dizzy.

“You good?” He asked as she stumbled her way into a shirt. With only a groan in response, and what he was sure was her middle finger, she left him alone in her bed to investigate the noise. Sighing, he laid on his back and got comfortable amongst her pillows. And after about three minutes, decided to locate the remote to her TV to entertain himself.

He flipped onto his side and felt around her bedside table, but his fingers never landed on anything remote-like. So, frustrated, he reached up and switched the lamp on. Again, he found nothing. Looking further, he realized the table had a drawer and so he pulled it open in hopes of finding the damned remote before she got back.

But what he found instead was so much better than turning on late night news.

“Fucking cat knocked over my vase.” Y/N was back within ten minutes. Harry had left the light on, but made sure it wasn’t obvious he’d gone snooping into her drawer, at least not yet anyway. She crawled back into bed beside him and it was then he noticed the bandage on her thumb.

“Are you alright?” He forgot all about what he planned to tease her with when he gently grabbed her hand to inspect the damage.

“Yeah. I was in a bit of hurry trying to clean up the glass…”

Harry rolled his eyes and dropped her hand. “I would have come help you.”

She just smiled up at him as he fit his arm around her shoulders, his bicep under her neck. “That’s alright.”

He shrugged. “It was for the best anyways that I didn’t.” When he smirked, she narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him.

“And why’s that?”

She followed his other hand as he reached for something and then, moments later, it reappeared with a very familiar pink object clutched in his grasp. “Because then I wouldn’t have found this.”

Her first reaction was to pry it from his snooping fingers, but when she reached across him to grab it, he way too easily held her back and, at the same time, held it far out of her reach.

“So this is what you do on Valentine’s Day, then?” He flicked his wrist back and forth, waving her vibrator in the air as he taunted her.

“If you don’t give that back to me,” she reached for it again to no prevail, “you won’t be doing anything, least of all, me.”

He clicked his tongue. “Why would I give it back when I plan on using it?”

She froze and he chuckled at her reaction.

“Would be rude of me to break your traditions, wouldn’t it?”

She swallowed, her eyes slowly meeting his again. The appearance of his right dimple told her he wasn’t playing any games. She had no idea how many times he planned to make her come tonight or whether or not she’d even be able to walk tomorrow at work. But, given the stupid look on his face, she almost began making plans to call out sick instead.

“Do you actually know how to use that thing?” She finally asked, glancing at the wand still held very firmly in his hand.

He looked at her like she was crazy moments before he pivoted and pinned her onto her back, settling himself into the position they’d been in before the interruption of the cat.

Just, this time… he was clicking on her vibrator and watching her face as she began to regret her words.

“‘Course I know how to use it. The real question is,” he brought his lips to her ear, the soft vibrations and the sound of his voice mixing together like sin itself. Even more so when he nipped at her earlobe. “Do you know how to handle it?”

#1dffvalentine #harry styles fic #harry styles smut #harry styles x reader #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine

1K notes · View notes

brandinator · 2 years

Text

Some Kind of AviSynth Files Update?

Ok, as promised, I present to the 5 of you still making gifs on Tumblr an updated and (sort of) improved process for (somewhat) easily leveraging AviSynth to make (mostly, but not “only”) Tumblr gifs.

I’ll consider this the “final form” for this awful slapped together bat file setup and focus my attention on something much more convenient and interesting for you guys to use--but I will update this as necessary as functional problems arise. I haven’t really had a chance to do a ton of testing, so I hope you guys can help me with that and let me know what kind of experiences you’re having trying this stuff out, good or bad. If you’re running into issues please let me know about them! It would go a long way towards making something better in the future.

Additionally, if anybody has some grievances/wishes/problems/concerns with their current process--whether that’s this set of batch files or your process with the old files/vapoursynth/etc., whatever--please do let me know. I have some pretty cool ideas, but I’d be interested to know what you guys hate about the tools available to you atm, or what you would like to see improved.

** I repeat, I have not done a ton of testing. Problems may be likely. Keep backups of your plugins folder and current C:/video setup for your own sake **

Anyway, on to the stuff, here’s what needs to be done:

Uninstall AviSynth 2.5. Tell them “I love you” and thank them for everything. We need to move on...it’s not them, it’s us...

JK, it’s them. We’re replacing 2.5 with AviSynth 2.6. Download and install. Don’t worry about where your install ends up, though it is most likely C:/Program Files (x86)/AviSynth/

Download this new batch (heh) of files: batinator-2.1.2.zip

The packaged zip includes a plugins folder. Move the contents of the included plugins folder into your AviSynth plugins directory. Refer to step 2, this will most likely be C:/Program Files (x86)/AviSynth/plugins/. Nothing you guys haven’t done a dozen times by now.

From here it should be business as usual. Within the batinator folder is an auto.bat. Drag your videos into this and the process will start. If you’ve ever used “avisynth” for this before it should be very familiar.

For reference, here are some things the new setup does better

Automatically find the avisynth plugins folder, no matter where it is. 32-bit, 64-bit, wrong folder name, doesn't matter. If avisynth is installed, it'll find the corresponding plugins folder.

Work from anywhere, not just c:/video. Put it in your desktop if you want. Put it in your music folder, I don't care.

Take a range OR cut 10 seconds automatically. 17s was too long tbh, you really need 17 seconds for one scene? STOP.

Better time seeking. Have you ever put in a timestamp and had this thing spit out the wrong scene by like a second? Awful. No more of that. Using the power of Math™, no frames are left behind.

Attempts to automatically decide the best process to load the video based on the format. There should be no more need for a lossless.bat to try a different method manually

Be less sloppy in general. What the hell is even happening in that black window? Nobody knows.

Save every output video to the output folder without overwriting, in case people want to make multiple cuts before working in photoshop. Because realizing you have to go back and re-do that gif that got overwritten is the saddest thing ever...

Resizer slightly less ugly (still working on that but I'm lazy)

Less shitty resamplehq errors, calculates better sizes in the resizer so that avspmod stops bitching for once in its stupid life

New remake.bat uses the same video and clip and skips to the steps of resizer + avspmod so you can try again, for when you were too lazy to preview it and SWORE those sharpen settings would look good, and they totally don't.

[NEWER] Leverage AviSynth 2.6 and L-SMASH for previously unsupported/badly supported video formats.

Some known issues/things planned

There are some problems with characters in certain languages that I have yet to fully look into. If you’re running into strange problems, checking if you have any non gringo friendly characters in any of the file paths would be a good first start

Files that load with LWLibavVideoSource may not load 100% perfectly. I’ve had issues with the first 20 or so frames being either janky or frozen, sometimes in the preview, sometimes only in the final output. I THINK I fixed this, but if you do run into it, please let me know. As a temporary solution, I would suggest overcompensating on the start time of your cut and making it start a few seconds earlier, just to ensure the first few frames you need are actually clean.

As usual, AviSynth is a Windows tool. I have cross-platform plans for the macfriends, but this will likely leverage VapourSynth, not AviSynth, and will be a re-write that is essentially the focus of what I intend to move on to now that this is (mostly) out of the way.

TL;DR

Uninstall AviSynth 2.5

Install AviSynth 2.6

Download new files (includes plugins folder): batinator-2.1.2.zip

Move plugins to AviSynth 2.6 plugins directory (located wherever AviSynth was installed)

Drag files into auto.bat and it’s business as usual

Please let me know how it works for you and any errors/issues/you encounter, even if they are known issues. More detail and insight are always welcome

#avisynth #gifhelp #tutorial #thanks for your time #been years and I still don't shut up #seriously tho give me your feedback #all three of y'all #birdman voice

36 notes · View notes

rainbowsky · 3 years

Note

Hi. So on twitter I keep finding these x/z fans calling out #bjyx fans saying we are disrespecting him. I'd really like your take on that. Don't worry I'm not an *nti in disguise. I genuinely feel myself get hurt when I see solo x/z fans trash bjyx fans. I mean every BL fandom has had fanfics where they depict one male in a more feminine type role - I know this cuz I've read a shit load of #tronnor & #klaine fanfics. I don't understand the hate. I just don't.

I can totally understand GG’s fans being annoyed to constantly see him infantilized, feminized, diminished etc. by BJYX fans.

I personally find it annoying and offensive. Not only are fans always depicting him as basically a woman, they are also constantly physically shrinking his proportions in photo edits and fan art to make him appear much smaller and shorter than DD, when in fact DD is smaller than GG in almost every proportion. He has a smaller body, he has a smaller face, he’s shorter.

They also often photoshop GG’s body to give him feminine proportions; a smaller waist, a bigger ass, etc. and draw him in women’s lingerie and clothing.

It’s disrespectful and dehumanizing of GG.

It would be one thing if it was just the fan fic and fan art (which are fair game), but it’s everything GG-related. Not just the art and fic, but the discourse. He is constantly being referred to as a woman, the wife, etc. diminished and feminized. He is frequently assigned the bottom/sub role in their relationship - and not in a fictional context, in people’s actual interpretation of their IRL relationship. For so many reasons, which I’ve talked about at length again and again and again here, it’s offensive.

Fem/androgynous/twink gays have their masculinity dismissed and are constantly spoken to and about in derogatory and misogynistic terms. It’s not OK.

I think there’s a huge amount of homophobia at play in these situations. There seems to be this desire for people to heterosexualize the relationship between GGDD and impose heteronormative roles upon it. There seems to be an utter lack of respect for GG’s gender identity, pronouns and gender presentation. There seems to be an oversexualization and dehumanization of GG and DD that isn’t present in heterosexual CPs.

So, Anon, while I don’t think hate is the answer and while I don’t think that fan wars are ever in anyone’s interest but those who would seek to tear GG and DD down, I totally empathize with XFX who get upset about these depictions and characterizations of GG.

I don’t really know what the solution is. I think people are going to practice their fandom however they please, and it’s not for me or XFX to decide how others approach things. But at the very least I would encourage people to do a bit of reflecting on how they are interpreting and characterizing GG and DD, and always remember to put GG and DD’s humanity front and center in everything they do, say and think regarding GG and DD.

Barring that, it would be really nice if people would at least label and tag their comments so that people can avoid things that offend them, just as BXG on Twitter preface their thoughts with ‘CPN’ so that people who aren’t into hearing about someone’s romantic interpretations can scroll by.

#bjyx #yizhan #i'll take homophobia for 800 alex #bxg perspectives #fandom reflections #lgbtpride #ask #twitter is a cesspool #gg feminization #top bottom

122 notes · View notes

butwhatifidothis · 3 years

Text

Sacrifice for the Three Lords

So. Got curious about something.

Curious thing got long lol, under the cut

The word sacrifice has a very loaded, very intentional feel to it. For something to be sacrificed, it must be considered less than whatever it is being sacrificed for, whether in the moment or in the long term - it’s the logical conclusion to the act itself. Even if regret for that choice can come later, at the time you are sacrificing whatever is being sacrificed, it is considered less (for example, spending an hour of your time for a stupid meme post you spent too much time on, for a light-hearted start. In hindsight you might think it was stupid or not worth it, but at the time of bungling around in photoshop you considered the time lost as a worthwhile sacrifice to your end product).

With that in mind, how do the three lords view sacrifice? When is it mentioned in their routes? When do they themselves mention it, and what are they pertaining to when they do? I want to focus on the word “sacrifice” specifically, due to the already mentioned connotations and meaning attached to this word in particular

We’ll start with Claude, with his route’s first mention of the word sacrifice being, and I’m not kidding, post ts, at Ailell

What is being sacrificed here is Claude’s independence from Judith. He is expressing a want to not rely on Judith’s help once again but needing to give up that want in order to move on with his goals of winning the war. This is something that he alone is sacrificing with no involvement or need of sacrifice from anyone else - he is the only one losing something from this sacrifice.

The next mention is from Hubert’s letter

The sacrifice being mentioned belongs to Edelgard. Hubert is stating that Edelgard has made sacrifices that must be honored, heavily implying that they were necessary for her goals if they hold such importance as to keep that importance beyond the grave to be passed by those who have defeated her. Claude himself is not sacrificing anything, nor does he state any agreeance to the phrasing used here, but he has said earlier that her methods use too much bloodshed for people to rally behind, implying a disagreeance.

This is the last time the word sacrifice is used in direct relation to Claude. When it comes to all that has happened to others, Claude specifically does not refer to it as something like a sacrifice that he is making.

Though that does not the word is not used further in VW. Dorothea, in VW:

The sacrifice being made here is deliberate and willing on the part of Count Bergliez. He is making the consenting, thoughtful decision to sacrifice himself because he views his men’s lives as more important than his own, and it is implied that his doing so achieved the desired outcome (the safety of his men). He came to this decision by himself, with no outside force making him do this (outside of the circumstances that prompted it - no one person made him do this). The act of sacrificing yourself for the lives of others is portrayed in a explicitly “positive” light coated in tragedy and even then only if it achieved its goal

Lastly, for unique mentions on VW, Annette:

Forced sacrifice is seen as something painful. The making of circumstances where sacrifices must be made outside of the will of those making it is portrayed in a explicitly negative light that is sought to be rid of.

In VW, Claude himself never refers to the loss of life as a sacrifice, and only ever refers to something as a sacrifice when it is him making it in a way that does not affect others. Sacrifice of life is only referred to as “positive” when either 1) Hubert, an amoral character who cannot be part of VW, makes mention of it, or 2) it is the singular sacrifice of one person’s life that they made of their own volition in order to save others, and even then it is portrayed in its context and in later contexts as a tragic event nonetheless

Next: AM

The first mention of the word sacrifice for AM - or in this case, BL - is after Lonato:

The word sacrifice is not brought up by Dimitri. Byleth says that the loss of life must be accepted, the result of which is explicit denial from Dimitri of the supposed importance of sacrificing civilians. Sacrifice of life -and the direct phrasing of it as a sacrifice - is explicitly portrayed as bad in the eyes of Dimitri; he does not believe that life ought to be sacrificed to achieve one’s goals

Next time, post ts:

The sacrifice of lives is directly, verbatim described as needless. The concept of the idea of lives being less worthy than a cause is explicitly called wrong. Human life is given more value than any goal.

Note how this is a direct reference to his behavior in VW, where he sacrifices his life as well as those around him - save for Dedue, whom Dimitri not sacrificing is what allows VW’s story to continue (due to Dedue providing the blueprints to the throne room for the Alliance army to navigate through). Dimitri’s choice to deliberately not have Dedue sacrifice his life is a positive to the overarching story of VW, while his indifference to the now explicitly needless sacrifice others’ make of their own lives for his personal cause is portrayed in a negative light

And while we’re talking of Gronder (note, this also appears in VW and thus also applies to VW):

Ignatz’s further implies that the sacrifice made at Gronder does not mean anything - it is senseless, and without purpose. It must be given meaning after the fact; it holds nothing in and of itself, as it did not bring about its desired outcome

Next, Catherine:

Sacrifice of the self is seen in an understanding light while simultaneously being seen as something that ought to be avoided. It is also something that is shown to be something that must be up to the individual to decide for themselves, though is regardless seen as something that likely should be talked out of doing

Last for AM, Felix:

The voluntary, willing sacrifice of one’s own life, for the betterment of others, is portrayed as something “positive” that must be repaid by those which the sacrifice was made for. It is not something that can be morally justified in forgetting after the fact - the repayment needs to be made in order for the sacrifice to be “positive.” The intended outcome of the sacrifice must be fulfilled in order for it to be seen as good.

In AM, sacrifice is continuously referred to negatively. Dimitri outright denies the possibility of necessary sacrifices, and the only way sacrifices are seen in a “positive” is if they are 1) willing made by the person sacrificing themselves and/or 2) the desired outcome of the sacrifice is definitively achieved, with the latter stipulation still having caveats that prevent it from ever truly being seen as positive (Count Rowe)

Lastly: CF

Edelgard mention the word sacrifice the same time as Dimitri first does, after Lonato:

Sacrifice of life is seen as a necessity. Edelgard views sacrifice as something that cannot be avoided, and as such, she has no qualms in sacrificing her people’s lives to achieve her goals. She views her cause as having an inherit superiority over the lives of the people.

Next, during the invasion of Garreg Mach (once you’ve settled on CF as a route):

Sacrifice of human life is once again seen as a necessity for Edelgard to achieve her goals. She states that she will not stop no matter how much blood she spills for her cause. The sacrifice of life is involuntary to those making the sacrifice, and yet it is seen as something that will lead to a positive outcome. The cause is given greater importance over human life.

Next, post ts, before Claude is fought:

The want to not sacrifice own’s life for their cause is seen as a negative. The idea of attempting to save one’s own life at the prospect of certain defeat is questioned in its rationality. There is a lack of understanding in the idea of not sacrificing one’s self to the cause - this is further shown in Edelgard’s death in all other routes, which is caused directly due to her unwillingness to give up her greater cause. She views her own human life as having less importance than her goals, which is consistent with her ideology of sacrificing everything for the greater good.

Notice the other two mentions of the word sacrifice in CF

Linhardt, at the final chapter (which appears in all routes, mind, but since he does default as a BE I feel it pertinent to include within the CF section):

Sacrifice is seen as a sign of desperation. The idea of sacrificing human lives for a greater cause is no longer comforting or a good enough justification. It being described as “depend[ent] on a throw of the dice” directly implies no control from the one(s) sacrificing their lives.

And the last mention is from Rhea, during the last battle, referring to Rhea burning down Fhirdiad:

Sacrifice is being actively questioned. Edelgard’s reaction to Rhea forcibly sacrificing lives showcases the act as negative. Rhea, in all other routes, is one of Edelgard’s sacrifices she makes for her cause, and now Rhea’s mirroring of sacrificing the people’s lives for what she believes is right is being shown in a explicitly negative light. This is not Edelgard growing to realize that sacrificing human life is wrong as she does not reflect on her own doing so when she criticizes Rhea for the same thing.

In CF, when it is Edelgard speaking of sacrifice, it is always seen as a necessity - something that must be done in order to achieve change. Edelgard actively forces sacrifice on the people due to her believing that her desired outcome cannot be made without it, and so she makes little effort to mitigate this involuntary, large-scale sacrifice.

But, when similar ideals of the value of human life against one’s own cause is applied to those which oppose her, she no longer sees it as morally justifiable to sacrifice the lives of the people, despite her own willingness to do the same. When sacrifice is seen through the lens of someone other than Edelgard, the idea of sacrificing lives for the greater cause is no longer enough to justify it.

In contrast to Claude and Dimitri, who do not view such sacrifice as a necessity and thus do not attempt to justify it/force it upon others (except when Dimitri explicitly is doing something wrong, as directly stated by the game), Edelgard cannot fathom the possibility of being unable to sacrifice human life and achieving her goals at the same time. In contrast to Claude and Dimitri, who hold human life above their goals (except when Dimitri explicitly is in the wrong), Edelgard holds her goals above human life. Human life - including her own - has less worth than her goals, thus making it acceptable to sacrifice.

And, well. Considering that people are still being killed in most of Hubert’s endings due to all of the revolts and rebellions against Edelgard’s abrupt, violent, bloody rule rising up, the commonfolk are still not able to receive titles/military credits unless they marry into families which already have that (save for one character, who was previously noble already), and that freedom of choice is not guaranteed as shown by Bernadetta’s endings, along with the slew of other problematic elements in CF’s endings (especially when compared to VW and AM, whose endings portray a far more peaceful Fodlan)... yeah, the sacrifices absolutely did not achieve their stated desired outcome. And that’s when they were voluntary

#anti edelgard #Anti-edelgard #Edelgard discourse #Edelgard critical #just to be safe #and to be clear - Dimitri did not force sacrifice on his men on Gronder #but more that he only explicitly tries to save Dedue by telling only him to retreat if he's in danger (falls in battle)#he - in that moment and in specifically VW which is his lowest point character wise - has little care for the safety of his friends #Dimitri states that it's him sacrificing his friends when it's more accurate to say he was indifferent to their safety (barring Dedue)#hence the phrasing in that part #but uh like #overall #ignore my ass if this seems too reachy lmao #i just thought it was interesting to look into how each lord uses the word sacrifice specifically #since it holds such a dramatic and intense feeling to it #but i can see how it can sound kinda meh as a premise for analysis lmaooo #feel free to tear it to shreds lol

35 notes · View notes

keetika · 2 years

Note

hi serre! i'm sorry if this counts for photoshop help. i'm new to gif making and i was wondering whats the best method to convert a mkv file! thank you for taking the time to read my question!

hello! you can use vlc player or handbrake. i used to use vlc player but for some reason it decided to stop working and now i use handbrake. you should still download vlc in case you want to watch the series or movie you're giffing since it can play the video through the program.

handbrake is more reliable and i've had no issues with it. just make sure after you load what ever video you want to convert, click the audio tab and go to tracks, click the drop down menu under it and click none. it'll cut your video file by a lot which will decrease the amount of space it'll take up on your computer/laptop and it'll load more seamlessly on photoshop. it's essentially removing the audio file from the video.

#faq

2 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

uunromanticized

dreamer

forbear126

Daddy Bears

arfisrar

let's pretend we'll be here tomorrow

racheljhaydentx

Digital Marketing By Rachel

elmaricodevzla

CHÁVEZ VIVE, LA LUCHA SIGUE.