#if i didnt have two cats that depend on me and a partner right now id probably just give up to be honest

[peaches-and-honey-and-the-moon]

With the help of my boss I might not be totally fucked, but I'm still fucked.

#trying not to give in to the negative thoughts #but i feel like a failure of a human #i feel disgusting and i just want to give up #its really not that deep #its a relatively simple fix #but the last few months have just been horrible and im tired of it #im tired of trying so hard and ending up worse then i started #if i didnt have two cats that depend on me and a partner right now id probably just give up to be honest #im so fucking exhausted #im just so done

[hybeboyenthusisast]

get to know me game!!!

Tagged by @ashxxkook

Birthday: February 15th

Favorite Color: pastel pink

Do you have any pets?: 2 dogs and 1 cat <3

How tall are you?: 5'1!

How many pairs of shoes do you own?: idk, a lot

Favorite song: if i had to choose ONE song, probably July by Noah Cyrus.

Favorite movie: toss up between The Nun and The Shallows. i absolutely LOVE shark movies

Who would be your ideal partner?: well, my current partner. i love my boyfriend so much <3

Do you want children?:  yes!! boys or girls, many or just one, I want to be a mother SO BAD.

Have you gotten in trouble with the law?:  no im a good girl

What color socks are you wearing?: im not wearing socks right now but yesterday i wore pink socks for work

Favorite type of music:  idk, kpop i guess?

How many pillows do you sleep with?:  2, sometimes 3. I sleep with my head on one pillow, another pillow between my knees or under my knees (depending on my position), and sometimes a pillow between my arms. i like cuddling something while i sleep, having something in my arms

What position do you sleep in?: most natural position is sleeping on my right side, but my cat sleeps on the left side of the bed, so its become my norm to sleep on my left side with my left arm out so my boy can come and cuddle

What don’t you like when you’re sleeping?: my cat waking me up because he wants food.. he only eats if he is being petted, and its so annoying at 3 am lol

What do you have for breakfast?: honey nut cheerios

Have you tried archery?: no

Favorite fruit?:  KIWI I FUCKING LOVE KIWI

Are you a good liar?: i wanna say no, but that itself is a lie. i was a chronic liar as a kid and even now, my mom will occasionally ask me if im lying about something ive told her LOL

What’s your personality type?: INFP, i think im cool : have a link

Innie or Outtie?: deep innie lol

Left handed or Right handed?:  right handed

Favorite food: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i really like taco bell

Favorite foreign food?: as an immigrant, i'm choosing a dish from my home county and my parents' culture. it's a desert, kinda like donuts. Koeksisters. they're so delicious

Am i clean or messy?: a clean messy, my room is a mess but i know where things are

Most used phrase:  no goddamn idea LMAO i asked three of my best friends, two of them had no idea, one answered with 'omg'

How long does it take for you to get ready?: depends on what im getting ready for. for work? 10 minutes maybe. for a date night where im getting all cute n shit? maybe 30 to 45 minutes

Do you talk to yourself?: yeah, in my head a lot, but to my cat who obviously can't really understand or answer. i also will go through make believe conversations under my breath or try accents under my breath

Do you sing to yourself?: i just sing in general, whether there's anyone listening or not

Are you a good singer?: id like to say so. i was in choir in school for like, 8 years?

Biggest fear: ......................butterflies. i dont know, ive just been terrified since i was a LITERAL baby, and even though ive tried to get over it, i fucking cannot. a butterfly comes near me, im yeeting my leg up in the air and bringing my foot down to smash that bitch.

Do you like long hair or short hair?:  on me? only ever really had long hair or medium hair but ive been thinking about a pixie cut lately.

Favorite school subject: i was always really good at english and math, but geometry can suck my dick

Extrovert or Introvert?: introvert but im a natural flirt

What makes you nervous?: everything, i have generalized anxiety disorder

Who was your first real crush?: i had a crush on this boy named Lucas and I think also this guy named Christian?? when i was in like, 1st grade. i moved before i started 2nd grade so i dont really remember them and i didnt know them as i grew up. next real crush was also a guy named christian, after i moved to the city i still live in. i was like, OBSESSED with this dude. we had that little childhood romance where we were 'dating' and would hang out on the playground, and when he suddenly broke up with me i was devastated.

there's more drama with this same dude as we grew up but aaaaaaaaaa we dont gotta go into that

How many piercings?:  uhhh 3. both ears pierced once, and i pierced my nose myself. i want more but, yeah, dont have them yet

How many tattoos?: 2. a heart on the back of my right shoulder, got it with my mom. then i have a feather on my right ribcage and MF IT WAS THE WORST PAIN I HAVE EVER FELT. you'd have to get me drunk or numb me up before i get that tattoo colored in or get another tattoo on my ribs.

How fast can you run?: idfk???

What color is your hair?: dark brown, lots of people think its black but, its not

What color are your eyes?: brown

What makes you angry?:  easiest and fastest way to make me angry is to bring up or WORSE, FUCKING PRAISE, the movie Ready Player One. the FUCKING NOVEL IS AMAZING AND THE AUTHOR SOLD HIS FUCKING SOUL FOR A MOVIE DEAL.

Do you like your name?: eh. im used to it. there really isn't any other name that i've ever been like "i want this to be my name", at least not since i was in middle school.

Do you want a boy or a girl as a child?: either <3 id love my kiddo wholeheartedly.

What are your strengths?:  is this an interview wtf man i wasnt prepared--- um, i guess that i care so much about other people, and im generally not afraid to do something that isnt the norm or popular.

What are your weaknesses?: i care too much, sometimes. i'll think with my heart instead of my brain.

What’s the color of your bedspread?: right now its like cream with red flowers

Color of your room: one wall is black, the other four are a pretty sky blue (yes i have 5 walls)

whoever sees this and wants to do it, GO FOR IT baby.

i'll tag @boba-beom @igotkpoops and i hope neither of u are annoyed by my tagging u <3

#tag game #cait's chat

[eliyah-de-dark]

Two Lies and A Truth, part 3

Here it is, the part 3 that you’ve all been waiting for. Sorry that it took me a bit longer to get out, I kept rewriting and having to put it away so I could focus. Put it’s here! It’s ready! ...i hope...

Tag list will be at the end of the doc so...yeah, here we go!

Marinette stared at the akuma in the doorway. His costume was a flamboyant display of red and black diamonds and a stretched grin that looked painful. Poor sap, she shook her head. That wasn't going to look good blown up onto TV screens.  

The akuma cartwheeled around Madame Bustier's desk, cackling like a fool. He paused in front of the sickly sweet teacher and extended his hand. When she didnt move, he mimed a handshake.  

"Come on, Madame. Wouldn’t want to be rude and set a bad example." Marinette muttered to herself. 

Bustier slowly brought her hand up to his and took hold. As soon as they touched, another loud explosion went off and a cloud of smoke filled the room.  

"The windows! Open the windows!" Someone yelled. The whirling of a fan sounded above Marinette as Markoff set about helping. The smoke billowed out of the room in large black plumes.  

The clean air was perfect for screaming. The Harlequin was gone, and large black scorch Mark's showed where Madame Bustier used to be.  

Written on the board in black letters were the Harlequin's message. 

ESCAPE WITHOUT TOUCHING AND HURTING MY FRIENDS 

Confusion spread like a virus through the students. No new people had appeared. What... 

Marbles.  

All across the floor near their teacher's desk and the door were small black and red marbles. They gleamed in the sunlight. Marinette stayed in her seat when the rest of the class crept towards them. Suzette stared at the board. 

"What should we do?" Mylene asked. Her voice was the pin that pricked the silence and set a flood in motion. Everyone began talking, trying to be heard over everyone else. Everyone that is, except Marinette and Chloe of all people.  

Chloe sat on her desk and turned to face Suzette, her gaze a proverbial spotlight on the stunned girl. Anyone who caught Chloe's eyes followed them to her and began demanding she do something.  

"Go take him down!" 

"Get us out of here!" 

"Help us, dudette!" 

Suzette shrunk with every word that the class said. Her eyes darted around to anything other than her classmates. "The window!" She shrieked. "We can escape through the windows." She lead the charge to the openings and looked out.  

A two-story drop met her gaze. Light glinted off small objects on the sidewalk below. More marbles. Marbles, black and red diamond stickers, and more littered the streets and sidewalks.  

Marinette glanced out just in time to watch a Parisian step on a diamond and trigger another explosion that left only scorch marks behind. She bit her lip. This is bad. Really really bad. Ladybug has to step in.  

A hulking form towered over the bluenette, looking out the window with her. "This is bad," Ivan whispered. At first, Marinette thought he was just talking out loud. Then he looked down at her and said, "What should we do?" 

"We?" 

Ivan stood up straight and rubbed his neck. "Well, I figured you're our everyday Ladybug. Maybe..." His gaze dropped to Suzette and Marinette caught a hint of disgust in his eyes. "Maybe you can figure this guy out." He jammed his hands in his pockets. The look he gave Marinette reminded her of a little kid after saying sorry. That searching, pleading look that begs for any response. 

She nodded. "Let's try." Ivan lit up like a Christmas tree. He sank into the seat next to her and waited. Oh, Marinette thought. He's waiting for me. "So what do we know?" 

- 

Adrien had been lucky to be in the bathroom when the Harlequin entered his classroom. That's about where his luck ended. He walked out into a hallway devoid of life. Scattered on every walking surface were black and red diamonds stickers every few steps.  

“Don’t do it!”  

Adrien watched a girl from Medeleiev’s class – Aurore, he recognized her from her Stormy Weather situation – step carefully out of her room. 

It was for naught as a loud bang and a lot of smoke made her vanish.  

Plagg hovered near one of the diamonds. He circled the strange object with a gleam in his giant eyes. “Kind of cool, right Adrien?” He flashed up to his wielder’s side and  the odor of camembert radiated off him like an old stain. 

“Seems like Chat Noir’s scene. Plagg, CLAWS OUT!”

The Black Cat leapt onto the handrails. Balancing like his life depended on it, which it most certainly did, he made his way to the Bustier classroom. My Lady will be able to fix everything, he thought happily. She always does.

As he approached the open door, he heard people whispering. Peeking in, he saw a class reduced to eight people and a robot. Suzette, Lila, and Alya were at his desk, whispering to one another. Alix was on her knees crying next to a scorch mark, Kim’s sweatband in her hand. Chloe stared out the window, Sabrina nowhere in sight. Max and Markoff stayed at the highest point in the classroom, talking about the marbles and their properties.

That left Marinette and Ivan talking together by the window. She had a piece of paper in front of her and a pencil making big arching lines on it. Weird time for fashion design, but okay.

Suzette spotted him first. “Chat Noir, thank goodness you’re here!” She cried. The class spotted him, Marinette smiling ever so slightly, and tears of joy started spilling from the students. “Harlequin trapped us in here. You have to get everyone out!” Her voice didn’t sound like it normally did when she was giving him orders. She sounded...afraid. Where was her confidence? Why hadn’t she transformed?

He asked and she looked away, ashamed. “The Guardian has my miraculous right now, chaton. He needed to borrow them for a while.” She looked back with tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry I won’t be of much help.”

“Nonsense, m’lady!” Chat Noir chirped. He didn’t notice his baker friend flinch when he used that nickname. “We’ve got this.”

“Chat Noir, wait!” 

The remaining students stared at Marinette. Ivan looked shocked as he stared up at his friend. “You should take Suzette to the Guardian, get her miraculous. We can last in here, but there are people out there who need Ladybug and Chat Noir.” She ignored the mild terror on her classmate’s face in favor of the confusion on her partner’s. Perhaps ex-partner. She’d have to talk to Master Fu about that.

To Suzette’s dismay, Chat nodded. “You’re right. Hang tight.” He jumped in, grabbed the protesting Suzette, and vanished out the door. 

Marinette sighed and slid out onto the steps. She eyed her target, Chloe, who had gone back to staring out the window. “Hey Chlo-” Her foot snagged something, and she caught a glimps of Lila’s amused face as she fell onto the exploding marbles.

As soon as she made contact with the floor, the rest of the classroom exploded.

TAG LIST

@justanothersepticeyefan @ml-cartoons @enchanted-nerd @aegyobutpsycho2 @kristycocopop @kris-pines04 @totellismert @f0xylegs @writingishfanonsideblog @spookycat 911 @persephonebutkore @crazylittlemunchkin @pandabearsamm @rudy-ruby @you-will-never-know-how-i-think @mvaree @melhuney @chatsladybabe @miraculous-of-salt

#two lies and a truth #part 3 #marinette dupain cheng #chat noir being a dunce #suzette lambert #lila rossi #lila salt #lila you dunce #alya cesaire you dunce #ml ladybug #ml ladybug au #salt #fan fic #miraculous of salt I know I keep tagging you #but it's more because I think you're awesome

[currentfandomkick]

Bio! Dad Strange part 8

This is just a bunch of random things that amuse me from this au, i will try to keep them in a coherent order but no gaurantees.

Everyone in Marinette’s friend group (Max, Kim, Alix, Nino, Sabrina and (somehow) Chloe) has at least one color unique to them, some with a secondary or pattern, to show that they are psuedo-family.

Chloe mentioned the idea after listening to Adrikins go on about anime magic girls and go off on Sailor Moon for too many days.

The group starts it as a joke—if you dont wear your color, you are mad at someone in the group enough to disown them. Wearing someone else’s color meant you saw them as really close compred to the others. Wearing all of the colors meant you felt very loved by the group and are proud damnit!

Chloe picked yellow, and added stripes as her pattern just incase they added another yellow later.

Sabrina demanded purple and argyle patterns as hers. Why? “Purple is mystery i will solve them all!”

Max picked green and decided collared shirts were his domain. Sabrina and him foght over this sometimes, as ‘no we both like this, Not eachother.’

Kim called Red and yellow, since he likes chlow he called her color as his secondary.

Sabrina picked up on the meaning and so did Nino. It didnt register for Marinette, Nino and Max.

Chloe claims this is why she wanted a pattern too.

Alix demands black as her color, despite Max’s protests that no, black is not a color. Alix says she’s all the colors as black, and picked stripes as her pattern like Chloe. Alix has her stripes as knit fingerless gloves, while Chloe wears hers as a shirt.

Nino call blue, and specified his hat as proof of friendship. When he is mad at them he doesnt wear it and everyone assumes a war is going on between him and someone. He forgot it one day and everyone was worried.

Marinette kicks kim and says she wanted Red. In the end she agree to either red or oink—depending on whatever rules her parents made about her wearing any color too much. She picked her signiture flower design as her pattern.

Why is this important?

Becuase now whenever any of them dont wear one if these colors or patterns visibly, it means someone did something and the school intervenes.

So the day Marinette came in early with a too big faded red hoodie and Kim was late without his red on, there was Tension.

He chases Marinette to get his hoodie back. She refuses, dodging and weaving until he ends up in the art class and Oh.

Marinette chucks a better red hoodie sweatshirt at him while saying “this should stop the shippers!”

No one but Chloe and Sabrina knew what that meant. Both were embarassed. They mentioend people thought Kim was crushing on her since his hoodie was getting pinker, and she did wear a lot of faded reds and pinks.

It did not stop the shippers. Only made them swap from romantic ship to ‘oh god these are destructive sibling cinnamon rolls’.

Becuase kim almost crying while tackling Marinette in a hug, in public, while Marinette goes off on him having bà’s hearing and squirming to escape and start another game of chase?

Intense ‘dorky brother loves his new sister who wants to play not be mushy in public’ energy that no one was stopping.

—

For those wondering, yes these kids have group sleepovers—boy’s night, girl’s night and ‘everyone night’ usually at Marinette or Chloe’s for the everyones. Yes, these are weekly.

—

Chat noir keeps trying to claim Marinette’s room as his part of the miraculous team’s base.

In this au both he and Ladybug have chosen weilders for various miraculous. They are partners but do lead two teams—Marinette’s focused on support, civlians, and strategy and his focused on combating akumas.

Due to this, Ladybug has a team she oversees, and Chat has a team he oversees.

Fu uses this to decide which would make the better gaurdian, as he trains them both here.

Marinette regrets being the only weilder Tikki approves of weilding her due to how the Cure works is people died. Marinette has to relive their death and decide if they should come back or not (was it too truamatic to go on after living it herself? Did they want to live? Questions like that are hers to answer). She is happy to share her job as Ladybug with other ladybug weilders, but is the only one who can cast the cure if there’s death involved.

Adrien is known to not be a perfect fit for the Black Cat, and he agrees that if a better cat comes along, he will give up his role as Chat Noir but not as a member of the team. Fu admits to him he’s a peacock more than cat early on, and while adrien loves plagg—that’s his cat-god-dad—he knows as a guardian trainee he has to do what’s best for the kwami and Paris. He agrees to training potential cats as Aspik until they can find, reclaim and fix the peacock.

Identities of Ladybug and Chat Noir are kept from each other to prevent them being an easy target for the Hawkmoth in this au. Others can know, but unless they weild a miraculous its dangerous given Nooroo’s weilder is their foe. Also name drops can be a thing and its bad all over.

Marinette is insistent on the secret identities being kept as she doesnt want to compromise her identity as a civilian that is not a meta when Ladybug is a known meta. The Miraculous she’s iffy on, and Tikki admits thst if they werent facing Nooroo, it was normal for all weilders to know eachother’s identites for covers and alibis and such.

Chat is upset about this until she mentions how metas are treated and her being out as a meta as ladybug but not as a civilian and why. Then he’s pissed at the govenrment and starts helping out at protests and crashes anti-meta rallies in Paris on Ladybug’s behalf, and points out that if it wasnt for a tiny meta none of them would be alive after syrenx, so shut up. He accepts her stance and only asks if he can tell her his identity when hawkmoth is done for.

Marinette agrees to post-hawkmoth reveal between them. Their teams hate that only the bugs and cats cant know each other’s identities as bugs and cats. Miraculouses are swapped like candy here, so you may know one hero is also another hero but not civlilin id or vice-versa

Yeah, writer salt here rather than character salt. Especially to how the characters were treated.

—

On Marinette’s powers, she does have them escalate as she grows and doesnt use her treatments. She takes her meds to prevent this as she’s already scared if her abilities when she leaves them unchecked for too long.

Her treatment is mircodosing kryptonite to keep the kryptonian part from taking over completely. She has all the abilities only when she’s more kryptonian than human cells at the time. Kryptonian cells multiply faster which is why she heals faster.

Max is the only one that she knows knows about her powers in Paris.

Sabine is implied to have an inkling but she ignores her own inkling often. Marinette thinks her mom is pretending she doesnt have powers.

Tom does notice but has no idea how to help, so he’s a cheerleader dad and helps her hide damage sometimes. They have a pact that they dont talk about the time she flipped him, and he fixes whatever she broke, no questions asked.

—

Side thing but when the miraculous come into play, warning that i will use character non-hero name for what they’re thinking and saying, while their hero-name is for what they are phsycially doing, as some will change mid-fight.

—

Hey i know this wasnt the expected update, but its more idk how to do Jason as Red Hood finding Marinette again.

First option is he was hunting strange, saw a picture of her on his desk and she calls strange asking about jow she should keep hiding since the restrictions just got worse on metas and she’s scared and ‘are you sure i cant just stay in Gotham? I...i dont feel safe here anymore’ and then Jason going on a Quest to find her in Paris, weird-happy reunion, and he goes back to Paris to live with Strange and work on things as Red Hood where Marinette can’t—mainly ground work. She helps him coordiante with the batfam via Tim, and handles gang attack coordination between Gotham Police, Batfam, Jason and RKC. Zsasz calls Jason his apprentice and trains him on hitman etiquette, guns, and yes, his signature form of ‘conditonal promises’. He was given League of Assassin Training, just cant recall it actively (talia gets memory magic becuase i said so. Blocked it until it would be safe for Jason to process here). He does not go to school, he just tracks down who he wants and ensures they cant hurt people. Is a bit obsessed with this when Marinette and Rose dont stop him by force.

Second Option is they both are targetting the same gang and their bust night is the same. Marinette helps him out in her Harley knock-off outfit (new and improved) while she evacuates the girls making the drugs, and Jason is just hunting dealers to find the drug den, finds a small girl dangling a major drug dealer, while Rose is there with the others tied up in plants. He gets caught by Rose, who recognizes his mark. He doesnt remember much about who he was as Robin, mostly as Red hoodie and is so confused. Marinette claims him as her brother and from there Rose takes on a new brother, dumps him on Strange as ‘i am many things, but i dont think i can handle memory loss and whatever happened to him. You do, so fix it.’ Strange winds up adopting him and Tom and Sabine encouraging him to add them as legal gaurdians. Here Jason is listed then on as Tod J. Smith—he cant remember his name in the right order so that’s what he got. His red hood outfit is revamped by Marinette, who coordinates his attacks on gangs with Batman’s, Gotham Police’s, and the RKC’s attempts at gang busts to maximize gang minimization. Somehow Joker starts helping J as a fellow J-J in Marinette’s life, with Zsasz claiming Jason as his apprentice. He does remember the League Training, but isnt sure if he was Robin and if he could be again if he was given that he was a their and kills the worst of the worst (mostly) of his own volition. Here is does go to school in Gotham.

In both Gina kidnaps him for chrismas with the family like she does with Strange. In Both he’s a teen still (hasnt aged since the Pit) and it takes Marinette and Tikki working together so he can later on (maybe? Idk on that point)

Comment which option you like better, becuase i cant choose.

And yes, rogues will be involved again soon.

@ilovefluffbutsmutisalsogreat @dast218 @weird-pale-blonde-person @mystery-5-5

#maribat #maribat au #bio!dad au #bio!dad strange #my au #my ideas #ml au #marinette strange dupain cheng #marinette strange dupain cheng part 8 #paris powers and polls oh my

[theartfuldodger26]

Bellamort for the ship meme

 Thank you @knightessofwalpurgis for the ask and apologies for taking me a month to answer - March has been... quite the experience.  But Bellamort exists to give us comfort, so let’s get crackin’!

who is more likely to hurt the other?

Voldemort can tear anyone apart with some well-chosen words (as we see Locket!Voldemort do to Ron), but he rarely uses those on Bella, because a. she rarely deserves to be humiliated like that, and b. he just wouldn’t do that to her. 

What’s more likely, is that he hurts her inadvertently, since he may fail to understand certain emotional needs that Bella most people have - a touch, a kind word after success, casual conversation over a cup of tea. In addition to that, Bella, who is obsessed with him and the position she holds in his eyes, tends to overreact to those “omissions”, getting convinced he ‘never truly valued her’ and he’s going to ‘kick her out any day now’. 

However, let us take a moment to note the day that Bella deeply hurt Voldemort: the night of her betrothal to Rodolphus, when Voldemort proposed marriage and Bella turned him down for reasons that, in retrospect, she finds ridiculous. 

So in a way, you could say that of the two, Voldemort is the brokenhearted one, even if it’s Bella who cries herself to sleep from time to time. 

who is emotionally stronger?

They’re both incredibly strong people. 

Voldemort pulled himself out of the gutter, basically raised himself and became one of the most powerful and learned wizards ever.

Bella survived fucking Azkaban, which is code for severe depression in HP-land, so all I can do is salute her and ask for her secrets. 

The answer is a little tricky, in the sense that Voldemort appears to be a psychopath, medically speaking, who are... resilient people emotionally, if you will. This means that an event that would have had a massive effect on a neurotypical person, say witnessing a murder or war, to him it’s very blunted or even irrelevant. This description is very vague and generalising, but it’s supported by a lot of evidence. In fact, psychopaths can’t really feel fear, because their amygdala is the size of a pea, so it’s not fair comparing his emotional strength to others. In fact, I’d add that since he’s not used to “negative emotions” like sadness and fear, if they happen, they’d be more devastating to him, because he’s never learnt to cope with them, like the rest of us do. 

Bella obviously has her own emotional/psychiatric problems, but I don’t feel comfortable making guesses, since I’m not a psychiatrist and she’s no textbook description of any personality disorder I’ve heard. However, she got an interestng upbringing, that trained her to be a person of importance. So I’d say that even after Azkaban and with whatever issues she has, she can still hold her own in a very difficult emotional situation. 

I realise I haven’t answered the question, because honestly Idk. Also, take with a grain of salt anything psychiatry-related I said, I’m no expert, merely done some research, which I’m regurgitating here. 

who is physically stronger?

Naturally, Bella. She trains a lot, does ballet (which is fucking hardcore, let me tell you), enjoys physical activities and martial arts. 

However, after Voldemort’s transformation, he’s got many of his physical attributes improved, like the cat-eyes that allow him to see in the dark and so on (been reading a lot of the Witcher series as of recent so there’s that too), so he’s deceptively strong and yes, eventually stronger than her.who is more likely to break a bone? 

Bella, 100% XD She’s in battle all the time, and when taking part in Voldemort’s magical research (which is their day-job, world domination is a weekend hobby in case you haven’t noticed) her motto is ‘safety third’. 

An interesting point tho. Psychopaths have no fear and low-impulse control if they don’t train themselves. Fear is useful, informs us of danger ahead, so I HC that young Tom/Voldemort broke almost every bone in his body at some point doing something really dangerous simply because he didnt realise it’s stupid - like, say, go down a fucking cliff with waves crushing at it. Now he’s learnt to control those impulses and polices himself when it comes to danger, so no more broken bones. who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

They’re both excellent at judging characters and have tongues that sting. Bella will rarely truly dare upset Voldemort, but she does love torturing him a little with  something silly and not-truly important, like refusing sex, or messing with his OCD by taking stuff from “their proper place”. She knows that there’s only few things that tick him off: his loss of power to an infant, death and the abandonment from his mother. And she’s not that sadistic to bring up that last one unless absolutely provoked. 

Voldemort can be a tease as well, but he’s too mature and dignified for such childish behaviour most of the time. who is most likely to apologise first after an argument?

 Bella apologises compulsively out of fear she’s lost him even for things that aren’t her fault, tho in her mind they might be. However, she’s stubborn too, so if it’s a petty argument she might not apologise at all. Shes a spoilt little rich girl after all ;)

Voldemort’s never apologised in his life and never shall say the words, but he will change his behaviour if he realises he’s been wrong, because it’s the rational thing to do- also Bella is supersexy when she’s angry, so he wants to fuck her and he needs to her to be accepting to that. who treats who’s wounds more often? 

Voldemort treats Bella’s wounds more often by default, since she’s the one out in the battlefield more often, and also can be clumsy and absentminded. And very rarely *trigger alert* she might self-harm. 

Voldemort not only gets hurt rarely, but he also views it demeaning to accept help, so he won’t even mention it if he’s hurt. Bella will find out by accident or because he’s in so much pain he can’t hide it anymore, and with scold him first, he’ll storm off, she’ll hunt him down, they’ll argue and finally she’ll heal his wounds (usually his back which hurts because he’s Tall^TM) and he’ll act like a literal cat during this, touch-starved as he is. who is in constant need of comfort? 

Right after Azkaban Bella is in need of a lot of care and comfort, understandably. Her physical and emotional problems are their reality for many months after her escape, but the physical ones mend themselves relatively quickly. She’s forever changed emotionally, again understandably, but I wouldn’t say she’s in *constant* need of comfort. In an AU where they win, she’s perfectly functional as his right hand woman and partner, with only the occasional problem. 

Voldemort needs to get through his tough, bald head that he deserves love and comfort like everyone else, but he’ll never get it, so, in the whole, it’s him I’d say. who gets more jealous? 

Interesting question, because fandom’s given so many answers relating to those characters, especially since Bella is married. Starting with this piece of solid information, I’d hazard a guess that Voldemort doesn’t care that much that Bella also sleeps with her husband from time to time - maybe it even turns him on and strokes his ego that she doesnt get all she needs from her legitimate, pureblooded husband. How he’d react if she slept with a random bloke... probably badly; tho I cant think of a situation where that’d happen. My Bella at least, doesnt sleep around. She might tease with her sex, but she’s a well-bred lady after all, who does what is expected of her. 

Voldemort, I HC, used to be a bit of a whoremonger in his youth; good looks, mummy issues and no emotional attachment are the ingredients for that particular potion. Also he might have also been overcompensating for the fact that he was unable to marry the only women he found worthy of him: his pureblooded classmates. So he’d show up with a different, gorgeous girl at parties, which drove child!Bella crazy with jealousy, since she was still out of the healthy sexual attraction part for him and never thought he’d notice her. She’d stalk him behind curtains and through keyholes, keep her ears on alert for when the adults talked about him etc. Poor thing was really tortured by it. But now that they’re adults and, well, in a relationship, she’s far too confident to think he’d seriously care for another woman; after all, half the time she’s not sure he truly cares about her, and she’s the person who’s been closest to him. 

One thing I forgot to mention about Voldemort’s jealousy, or lack thereof, is that Bella has certain emotional needs that he cannot serve, and I’m not talking about tenderness, because to some degree he can give her that, and it’s not the same with her husband anyway. No, I mean that Bella is a sexual sadist, who gets direct sexual pleasure by hurting people. Voldemort on the other hand, is not a masochist. Not that when they have rough sex/BDSM sex he’s never in a sub position, but he’d never just sit there to be whipped or something, it just doesn’t turn him on, and that’s totally fine. So they may invite a girl (and very rarely a boy) to join them, so that Bella can get it out of her system if the war is slow/over. Don’t ask where these people end up, just don’t hang your coat in the second floor closet is all I’m saying. who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

Depends on the situation? 

Bella would NEVER abandon Voldemort in battle or for the Cause. In a Muggle setting though, if he pissed her off she’d totally walk out of the restaurant :P 

Voldemort would never walk out on Bella either, tho, would he? He’s devoted to her, plus he does feel like he owes her after Azkaban. 

The only concept I can imagine relevant to this is Voldemort saying something in his anger that he doesnt exactly mean tho it holds some truth in it, that hurts Bella so deeply, that she leaves, both out of spite but also because she thinks it’s the best for him. In fact, I have a very specific HC for this which takes place in the afterlife, after they;re both killed in the battle for Hogwarts, but there’s no time for that here. 

There’s also another thing, but it’d quite controversial. If you, like me, HC that Bella started training with Voldemort since she was a child, and entered a sexual and later romantic relationship with him while still underage, this means that she literally hasn’t been alone as an individual, ever. So there’s also the chance that she, after they’ve had a huge fight and he’s terrible with her, leaves so she can find who she is without him. *cue the tears*who will propose? 

Voldemort did propose, on the night of Bella’s formal betrothal. Very rude and uncourteous of him, yes, but it had to be the last minute for him to realise his feelings, because he only has one (1) brain cell that works part-time on the Emotions Department of his brain. She turned him down, because she was young, immature, didnt realise how deep her own feelings were (she believed what her mother told her, that ‘all girls fall for Riddle, it’s an infatuation, it will pass’), wanted the power, fame, money and public adoration that her position as the Black Heir brought, not to mention that she was loyal to her family and terrified since Andromeda had just eloped with Ted. So she broke his heart then, even if neither realised it. But they did continue with their affair, because that’s how it happened in the olden days if you had money and space. 

After the war is over, neither proposes. They talk about it as a given (Rodolphus has fucked off to study penguins in Antarctica) and only need to figure out the details: how public it will be, who’s invited, what titles the ceremony gives them and so on.  who has the most difficult parents?

Spoiler alert: Voldemort’s an orphan! 

Okay, so hypothetically speaking, had any of his parents survived and raised him one way or the other, they’d for sure be a handful. Tom Sr. is a posh bloke used to getting his own way and being considered special due to his status as a squire, so he’d be fucking pissed if he were introduced to a world where he’s not all the shit. Nonetheless, I’d hazard a guess that in the end he, Bella and her parents would get along well-enough; after all they’re the same sort of people. 

Merope, on the other hand, is a whole other story. In the most sensible AU, where she survives giving birth and raises her son but they’re still poor and she’s got trouble with magic due to the trauma of Tom Sr. leaving her, I think she wouldn’t like Bella at all actually. Because Bella is all she ever wanted to be: beautiful, wealthy, well-bred and shows it, and, most importantly, emotionally strong. So she pesters Tom all the time about how Bella is not ‘feminine enough’ in her behaviour, too outspoken, too bitchy, not for ‘her boy’. Tom/Voldemort gives exactly one shit about her opinion and moves on. 

In the canon universe, it’d be naive to say that Bella’s parents were into Tom, simply due to his blood status. In the longrun, however, I think they'd come to terms with it, and they remember how brilliant and ambitious he was in school, so when he becomes successful in life, whether in-universe as Voldemort, or Minister or whatever in an AU, they’re sort of okay with it. Idk if they hand over the Heir of Blacks title to Bella tho, their kids wouldn’t be pureblooded after all. who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

No one. Not allowed. Not happening. Ever. It’s not their thing, anyway. Voldemort will offer her his arm, like a gentleman, tho. :)

who hogs the blankets? 

Bella, especially after Azkaban. She sleeps with five blankets piled on top of her, has the fireplace going all year round and puts a warmth charm on the sheets. Voldemort doesn’t care. He experienced such cold temperatures in so little clothing as a child, that hot and cold make little impression on him; he even takes cold showers because it’s all the same to him. *sobs* who gets more sad? 

Bella. She overthinks everything. Did she disappoint him today? Yesterday? Tomorrow? Will she ever be the person she was before prison? Why does Cissy wince every time she sees her? Should she have had children after all? These and all sorts of thoughts race through her mind all the time, torturing her to no end. 

Interestingly enough, psychopaths in general dont get that sad, but Voldemort can be very... pensive. who is better at cheering the other up? 

Bella has a wicked sense of humor that only Voldemort seems to find hilarious (comments from other people include ‘disturbing’, ‘scary’ and ‘morbid’), and even though he’s rarely sad, he can be very very serious and in need to relax his body and mind. 

Still, Voldemort, the eternal student of human nature that he is, if he does notice that Bella is sad (which isn’t always because he’s... you know), knows exactly how to distract her, just like he can do with any other person. Just, in her case, it’s sincere. who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

No one ever hits anyone. Voldemort’s been beaten and whipped and flogged enough as a young boy that he wouldn’t do it to the only person he cares about in a non-sexy way, and Bella’s been raised to view such things as ‘Muggle animalistic violence’. She might bite him hard for fun, tho :Dwho is more streetwise?

This may come as a surprise to you because of my username, but Voldemort grew up on the streets in a  Dickensian world. He knows all the tricks in the book; in fact he created many of them. Bella begged him to take her along in his travels incognito, and not on these formal things she attends with her family, and he did, so she’s learnt a lot, but she’s very much a pampered princess. who is more wise?

Hmmm... Hard to say. They have their areas of wisdom and their areas of not-having-a-fucking-clue. Bella, for example, understands emotions better than Voldemort, because she actually experiences them. Jk, jk, but you get what I mean. She’s also more knowledgeable in certain magical things, that, for example, not all prophecies have to be fulfilled and that there’s so much magic that it’s pointless to wish to acquire *everything*; had Voldemort listened to her more often, the books would have been very different. 

Voldemort of course is much older and has more diverse life-experience. He’s also less impulsive in his older years than Bella; he can be the voice of rationality and reason if he’s not superobsessed with something; at which point Bella should remind him to take his meds, because they really do help with fixations. who’s the shyest? 

Neither, in the strict sense of the meaning. They both know what they want and they’re not afraid to demand it. In the end, it’s Voldemort who’ll never say what he truly needs and feels, though, speaking about their everyday life together, it’d be Bella who’d rather have more affection from him but is too shy to ask. But yeah, Voldemort, not because he’s shy per se, but rather in deep hurt and denial. who boasts about the other more? 

In the books it’s obvious that it’s Bella. However, Voldemort does this hilarious thing where he praises Bella in random conversation with other people without even noticing; like, he brings her up every ten seconds even if she’s barely relevant to the subject, so *shrugs* have your pick. who sits on who’s lap?

Nobody, because they’re both tall. Bella will straddle him even in a non sexual manner from time to time, and they often spend their evenings relaxing on the same sofa: Bella will put her legs on Voldemort’s lap and he strokes them absentmindedly (after all they’re superlong and soft and hot), and Voldemort, who refuses to nap in bed, might catch a nap with his head on her lap. The reason Bella doesn’t nap with her head on his lap is because he’s very thin and his femurs hurt her skull, when she’s got plenty of skirts and petticoats cushioning Voldemort. Finally, Bella often sleeps with her head on his chest, because his heart-beat, even tho abnormally slow, relaxes her panic attacks, after Azkaban that is. He will then stroke her hair compulsively - it’s a bit of a fixation of his.

Well,what a ride! Thanks again @knightessofwalpurgis for the ask, this was tremendous fun to write, especially after a very difficult month! And it did help put some of my thoughts on those evil babies in a row. Hope you found it entertaining! I get that those types of asks are usually made for monolectic answers, but yeah, explanations are better. If you made it to the end, dear reader, thank you very much for your time! 

#bellamort #bellamort ask #knightessofwalpurgis #relationship meme #bellatrix lestrange #voldemort #lord voldemort #tom riddle #still can't write #but apparently i can do asks #so thats what we're doing today

[likeaflowingwind]

[An Unimportant List of Unimportant Person]

Writing Challenge #3 - Way(s) to Win My Heart

Had so many [dead]lines this past two weeks, i didn't have time to update my page, which is actually fine since i don’t have any readers except my bestie (shout out to Vq! Luvya!). Can we continue this stuff, even if I have already failed the challenge? Yea we should. I still want to do it anyway. Who made the challenge? Me. Who decide whether we should stop or keep going? Me.

So-

Way(s) to Win My Heart.

No one's gonna read this I guess, but FYI, these are the things that (probably) make me think and be sure that "this person is something, guess i can finally give the most essential thing in my live : my heart. my world. everything.". (p.s : those are the only thing left, if you expect more, find someone else.)

1. I'll be jump over you, without even thinking about it twice or a hundred times, if you have the same music taste with me. Don't worry. I enjoy almost all genres of music, from rock, pop, ballad, indie, 90s 80s, sobat ambyar, dangdut, k-pop, j-pop, anything (even Nissa Sabyan's). As long as my ear can "accept" the melody, everything can possibly be my favorite. So, recommend me any good music! I'd like to listen to your playlist :)

2. I like "act" more than "words". The guy who doesn't usually talk much, but rather do it right away. Those who dont necessarily say "i love you" in front of my eyes, but rather shows me that he cares, that I meant a lot for his live. And, you know, since I have the so-called "existensial crisis" (which often makes me think I dont belong for anyone, my live will never be important for any people in this world), I'll be glad if he shows me how to make me feel, at least, more confident about my presence. "My happiness depends on your smile." will be the most beautiful grace i have ever received, if i had one.

3. A strong believer who NEVER EVER EVER think that he is the perfect version of human being and everyone is just a sinner. The man who, at one hand, patiently shows me which way to go, but on the other hand is also respect my decision if I think "this one's not right in my heart". If I need time to figure out the truth, I'd be glad if he can give me space and freedom to think.

4. BE MINE IF YOU LOVE CATS! No, but seriously. I met someone, once, who really loves cat. His eyes sparks joy every time he meets random stray cats out there, and believe me, it was... beautiful.

Also, some of my friend will send me some cute cat's pictures when I said "im tired.", "im angry.", or (the very usual one) "im sad." I really appreciate that, for sure.

5. Some people might be happy if someone said "you look gorgeous today!" or "your smile is beautiful!" or "i love your hair!". Instead of those compliments, I'd be more -on the top of the world kinda feeling- if someone said, "You look happier."

In my age, trust me, it's soooooo damn hard just to be happy. I could laugh on jokes without even remember anything about it on the other night. I'd smile everytime my cats give me their cute habit, but when they fall asleep, I'd be back to my 'usual feeling'. Weird, isnt it? I dont know how to win my heart over this. You want to try?

6. I usually attracted (EASILY) to the person who is more knowledgeable than good-looking. Being knowledgeable doesnt mean you have to know everything, any ideas, any theories, any kind of jokes, arts or even political things, in this world. I'd like to see someone's point of view over something and have this meaningful discussion that give me insights and inspirations. I've met someone with this criteria, once. I fell for him a few seconds after he opened his mouth, talking about his college stuff, which made me think "i should be as good as him, someday." Unfortunately, it didnt work cause we have a different nationality and belief. ANYWAY. I needed approximately 6 months to move on, and now, everything is fine. 

7. When someone shows his/her love to kids, I don’t know, it is just.. adorable, beautiful, cute, and cool at the same time. Honestly, i dont really like kids. I love my little brother and that’s all. Some kids are just noisy and full of excitement, which, not really my personal preference lol since i hate noises (it makes my head get dizzy). BUT if you like children, and the most importantly you care them with all your heart, you know how to make them happy, I’d be thinking about being your partner of life forever! I swear.

8. My world will probably be different from anyone else’s. You will never know whats going on inside my head. I wont ever force someone to agree with everything that comes from my perspective, instead, i want him to understand that this is me and these are my thoughts. To win my heart, you have to bare with me and every random things come up from my mind. 

9. ... (akan di update setiap menemukan ide) wkwk

[liquid-geodes]

2 9 11 21 22 27 37 56 58 75 85

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

Of course! But it depends on the relationship. Obviously toxic relationships are never worth it, and relationships where only one person is putting in the effort also isnt worth it. Relationships are about mutual love and respect for your partner after all

9. Describe your perfect mate

Tbh I dont put a lot of thought into what a perfect boyfriend would be like. I think as long as we get along, there's mutual feelings, and it's a healthy and respectful relationship, they could be anyone. We dont have to have everything in common to be happy together.

11. Do you ever want to get married?

I mean it'd be nice but I'm probably going to die alone-

But yeah I'd want to get married.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Dont make me laugh

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Not really no.

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

No, why would anyone do that for me?

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Literally ever guy I've ever liked my friends hated and then they screwed me over so I guess it was like my friends knew something I didnt. But my friends liking the person I like would mean a lot to me, but if they didnt I wouldnt just magically stop liking that person. I'd still try and keep a healthy balance between the two. Your friends dont have to like the person you have feelings for, you just have to like each other.

56. State 8 facts about your body

Interesting interesting:

- got pretty bad arthritis from being double jointed

- if there's one thing I'm oddly and openly proud of it's my figure, I mean I have NICE thighs yall. I'm thicc

- pretty covered in scars tbh, most of them are pretty funny stories involving my cats and a cardboard box

- besides having thicc thighs the rest of my is pretty bony cause I'm bordering being underweight. It's pretty cool what I can do with a pencil and my ribcage ngl

- I'm pretty liddol. Like 5'1 and got tiny possum hands, perfect size for holding though.

- I say I'm pretty ugly, but everyone is obsessed with my eyebrows. Apparently their natural shape is what a lot of women want and I just?? They're just my eyebrows ???

- normal human body, definitely not a bunch of rats in a trenchcoat

- may contain full human skeleton

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

Hmmm let me think:

- being into video games so we could be nerds together would probably do it

- being pretty understanding and patient with me would be another tbh, tells you a lot about how I've been treated in the past huh?

- just little things I guess like sharing what we did that made us happy that day

- being my friend first helps the process IMMENSELY. I'd already be pretty comfortable around you by that point and we should know a few things about the other already to help ease into learning the new things. I'm very awkward and dont understand emotions sometimes I'm sorry-

- idk a lot of these just sound like stupid simple things that seem like basic human relations but I am not used to receiving those from guys so-

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

:^)

I still really cant think of anything.. I'm usually the one making things or buying things or doing little things for other people-

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

Of course! I'll admit it'd be a little lonely at first because I'm a clingy son of a bitch BUT if we knew each other pretty well and like each other, I dont see why it being long distance would be a problem. I'd be willing to put in the effort to make it work.

These question all sound suspiciously like someone out there wants to date me-

#link's asks

[sxnguinesxnctum]

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE.

name: Laurence

eye color: Light blue

hair style/color: terribly long, wavy and blonde

height: 6′1

clothing style: pure, pristine, often as clean as it could be despite the situation of the town.

best physical feature: his hair, probably. He takes a lot of care of them.

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

your fears: failure, death

your guilty pleasure: a good sip of the Old Blood every now and then enver hurt nobody, right?

your ambitions for the future: Ascension 

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

your first thoughts waking up: bold of you to assume he slept to begin with “...it’s too early.”

what you think about most: the good of his Town, surprisingly to everyone but him

what you think about before bed: “...they’re watching me again.”

you think your best quality is: “My brain.”

WHAT’S BETTER?

single or group dates: he barely goes on dates to begin with, he’d much rather go in single ones

to be loved or respected: respected - and that’s because you can’t have love without respect either to begin with

beauty or brains: “Both are equally important when it comes to life partners, but... it depends.” Brain when it comes to people he’s dealing meeting someone for more than  a one night stands

dogs or cats: dogs

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU…

lie: “Who doesn’t?”

believe in yourself: “Of course.”

believe in love: “Not one bit.”

want someone: “...” perhaps

LAYER SIX: EVER BEEN…

been on stage: nope

done drugs: ...the Old Blood almost counts as one, huh--

changed who you were to fit in: absolutely not

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES

favorite color: red and gold

favorite animal: dogs

favorite movie: 

favorite game: 

LAYER EIGHT: AGE

day your next birthday will be: “I’m not certain. I never celebrated it, after all.”

how old will you be: “Around my late 30s? I’m not sure.”

age you lost your virginity: “...isn’t this a little too personal?” he was 20

does age matter: “Absolutely. I’d rather avoid anyone under their 30s.” ...but anyone older can do.

LAYER NINE: IN A PERSON

best personality: he’s into people who are interesting. Who make him curious. He loves the mystery.

best eye color: he doesn’t care

best hair color: doesn’t matter

best thing to do with a partner: ...you know.

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE

i love: my Town.

i feel: tired.

i hide: my pain

i miss: Gehrman

i wish: to understand

Tagged by: @derjaegermond​ THANK I’M LATE

Tagging: .............u if you didnt do it just yet :°> i’m late as heck

#|| Pater Do Si Donas † about&headcanons || #im super late but muse is v low #half tempted to get back on bloodborne lately tho so. yea #also @gehrman if you're out there: your best friend just wants to know your location he just needs to talk :(

[ronancegayass]

Flower Asks: all of them >:3€ (forgive me)

(this is so many omg but I’ll allow it only bc i love u)

Alisons: Sexuality? 

     Gay af (ace lesbean)

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

     Waman (she/they)

Amaryllis: Birthday?

     November 2nd

Anemone: Favorite flower?

     Funnily enough anemones are one of my favs but i think my top favs are chrysanthemums and morning glories but I really love many flowers and flowers in general

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

     As of right now, stranger things duh

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

     Like favors or? I mean I really do try to be a kind and helpful person but if I don’t know somebody or haven’t at least seen them a couple times before I usually don’t do much bc of anxiety 

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

     "The extraordinary is in what we do, not who we are.” Lara Croft mostly bc I cant think of anything else right now and that stuck with me

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

     Like a really good cup of black tea with cream and sugar or sweet tea

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

     Never been kissed before but I definitely have someone in mind I would kiss ;3

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

     Hell yeah I am right now and I don’t think I ever have been before now

Baneberries: Favorite song?

     Oh hard question... currently really digging We Fell In Love in October by Girl in Red 

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

     My family is supportive (for the most part) and very loving, even if they express love in weird ways sometimes. We also like to joke around a lot and make fun of each other but in a good way? Like we all have a good time mostly and I get along better with everyone since I started college

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

     My girlfriend is my best friend uwu I also have a lot of good friends but yeah

Begonia: Favorite color?

     Purble but specifically like a pastel purple and purples that lean more towards blue than pink

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

     Lynx! I love so many animals tho and I also like many cats and domestic cats in general

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

     Night!

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

     Probably would love to just be a loved house cat who gets to lay in front of the fire all day or a lynx bc i love them

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

     A veterinarian (or a special agent lmao)! I also still plan on being a vet tho even tho I get discouraged at least once a month 

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

     I mean I like kids and I was a camp counselor for a summer, but I dont really want any of my own

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

     Oh god so many things.. Biggest thing would maybe be death/dying? Like if i think about it too much like the possibility of there just being nothing after death freaks me out. That and throwing up/nausea 

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

     I played soccer and then I was a competitive swimmer so i was kind of an athlete? even tho i hated sports

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  

     I think I would like to go to waffle house, have the perfect cup of tea, spend lots of time with my loved ones and pet my kitties, play video games with my gf, and sit under a tree in the mountains preferably on a warmer day in the fall and watch the sunset 

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

     Very happily taken

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

     Always wanted to visit Norway

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

      Really big long hugs, good morning or goodnight messages, and I also really love cards 

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

     I have 6 

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

     Yup! I have an industrial, orbital, and 3 earlobe piercings   

California Poppy: Height?  

     5′2 or maybe a little less

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

     Yeah I think so, but I do also get freaked out easily lmao

Carnation: What are you currently wearing? 

     Red flannel, jeans, fuzzy socks, and big dyke boots  

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

     Yeah I did for a long time and I still sometimes sleep with one or like a bathroom light on if Im sleeping by myself in a new place

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

     Either my mom or my dad I dont remember technically who was last bc my parents are visiting me at college

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

     Again, never kissed or been kissed! but maybe soon... :0

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

     Font? I like the font in Night in the Woods?

Columbine: Are you tired?

     Pretty much always either sleepy or tired lol

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

     Christmas, getting to see my gf again, and Magfest!

Coneflower: Dream job?

     Like a veterinarian but having my own practice and also being able to take in injured wildlife if possible

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

     Introvert for sure

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

     Oh repeat question, hell yes

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

     Depends what it is but I would go pretty far for somebody I care about and Im also a crazy person and would drive/travel no matter what distance for someone I love

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

     Yup! I had a ballerina bunny, named Bunny because I was very creative and I still have her

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

     Scorpio

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

     I think so? I did a lot of cool stuff with my GS troop like our bronze award project and going ziplining and to sliding rock. 

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

     My GS gold award for sure, that shit was hard work and stressful af

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  

     Umm??? I would tell my dad to eat shit and die and I cant imagine my mom being anything but sweet and supportive so I dont even know

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

     You! This morning uwu

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

     uhh Im pretty good at making sense of stuff in my science labs and reasoning and im sometimes good at art? I feel like I do traditional better but Im getting better at digital

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

     bad at not being impulsive sometimes and bad at dead by daylight 

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

     a little over a month but officially got a girlfriend who i love very much, my gf came down to visit and we got to chill on the mountains together, and I had a pretty nice birthday 

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

     Good! Got breakfast at a diner with my parents and got coffee and a donut at my fav coffee shop so thats all i really need in life tbh 

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

     Yeah Im happy even tho Im stressed with school at times 

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

     Get a job after graduation and hopefully get into vet school on the first or second try

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

     My kitty, mom, wonderful gf, sister, dead by daylight, heated blanket, apartment, waffle house, my sisters kitty, and my dog

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?  

     Donuts, coffee or tea, blankets, video games, and loud music

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

     Hmm... I really like to draw art for those i love, tell them how much i love them even though i can be bad with words, and i just try to spend a lot of time with the people I care about no matter what we are doing

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

     uhhh trying to open up more? and Im really proud of my gf 

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

     Going to waffle house. Go to a mountain and hike a little, sit on the top with girlfriend. Admire beauty of mountain countryside. Admire beauty of girlfriend while they admire the beauty of the mountain. Then warm up together with hot chocolate and play video games

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

     I like to doodle and do the arts, play video games, and I like to bake sometimes

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

     uuuuuuh I have a good friend I’ve known since kindergarten or first grade when I first moved to where I currently live

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

     My gf uwu and my mem

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

     probably like less than 10 

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

     I think its really cute especially when you compliment my laugh

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

     ??? I think I am an okay person? And I try to be a good person and be kind and polite to people

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

     Umm... I mean I like that Im kind? and Im not fake and I try to be a good person     

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  

      I hate that I procrastinate and that I can get frustrated easily at myself and at situations like crowds and traffic

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

     I liked to play ‘restaurant’ with my sister with our littlest pet shops

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

     I had a really great best friend named Rachel :c

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

     Losing a lot of friends and for being distant for a long time 

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

     Cutting off a friend that was bad for my mental health and who didnt treat me well even though we were best friends for a long time 

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

     My name is literally my parents ship name... like they even told me they chose my name by putting their names together lmao but I mean I like my name so i guess its okay..

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

     Small town in new jersey when I was really, it was nice and family was closer. Then we moved and that was difficult but I ended up adjusting and it was good, had a decent amount of friends and the schools i went to were good

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

     For a long time I shared a room with my sister and we had a bunkbed and I had the top bunk of course, when we moved out of the apartment and into a house I got my own room and it was baby blue only because I told my dad that no, I didnt want a fuckin pink room and that was a whole thing lmao

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

    It was good? but also sucked a lot. I had a lot of issues with my mental health and struggled for a long while with something. I was bullied and stuff at home wasnt always that great. And i got outed so that was fun. Other than that I enjoyed swimming competitively and I got into art

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

I love my mom!! she is the most Mom mom and is so sweet and always there for me. She helps me out so much with so many things and I just love my mom so much

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

     I mean I love my dad? And hes better than he used to be, but he still doesnt help with shit and irritates me a lot. 

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

     I never got to know my grandfather on my moms side bc he passed away a few months before i was born and I sort of knew my grandmother but she lived far away and passed away 10 years ago. I usually see my gramma on my dads side the most and I try to visit often and help her out with stuff and I love her even though she can be a bit... racist and shit.. and I sometimes see my grandpa and step grandma but they can be strict about weird shit and always ask a lot of uncomfortable questions

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

     I dont really do much on my birthdays? Ive had a lot of nice birthdays and it usually involves going out to dinner or having a nice dinner at home and having birthday cake and playing games like jenga or yahtzee.

Peony: What was your first job?

     I did some petsitting for a while but my first real job was being a camp counselor/tower belayer/lifeguard at a girl scout camp

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)?

     Met online after following them for a long time and drawing some arts for them, but didnt really start chatting until stranger things 3 came out bc I saw they had just watched it. Didnt meet irl until fursonacon and I just remember seeing them walking up to my car when I got there and just being like .... oh no.  I had already had a crush but at that point I was just heart eyes      

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

     Its a little fucked up but depending on the type of physical pain I like it? Like getting tattoos and stuff.. emotional/mental I just curl up in blankets and listen to sad music lol

Pink: Where is home?

    I feel like I have many homes? I feel really at home in the mountains, at home with my family, and when Im with my girlfriend

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

     Every event no matter how shitty shaped me into who i am today and Im pretty content and lucky with what I have today so maybe nothing?

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

     My GS leader Miss Kristin. So incredibly kind and outgoing and just willing to do whatever she can to help others. Shes so adventurous and outgoing and made my gs troop so amazing. She is such a wonderful lady and shes basically like another mom to me.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

     To be with my SO in a nice cabin in the mountains with a nice fireplace. Its cozy and we have pets (especially kitties but also maybe a dog and chickens and such) and life is okay and we’re happy

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

     God and Santa Claus (i was so heartbroken (over santa not God lmao))

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

     My girlfriend and my mom

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

    My gfs voice and their laugh c: and I also really like the sound of thunderstorms and rain

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?  

     To see my gf again and for winter break to just be here already I am so done with school lol

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

     Difficult? I try really hard to express how I feel but I usually mess up and I get anxious but I try my best lol

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

     Any of my loved ones and my cat 

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

     I wish I got more sleep but it was an okay amount

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

     Good morning texts from my gf and my gf in general

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

      I dont currently have a job but I occasionally do art commissions which is usually fun and gives me something to do 

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

     Any of my flannels and my leather jacket (also not mine but my gfs hoodie they gave to me to borrow)

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic. 

     mountains, cabins, flowers, fall, flannel, small coffee shops, pastels 

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

     Im not one to be picky about gifts? I just love anything that someone put some thought into and thought I would like or reminded them of me but i feel bad if it was something expensive or anything lol

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

     Final exams and graduation

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

     0 lmao I used to read a shit ton but Ive been picky about what books I want to read lately 

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

    Working towards applying to vet school and maybe thinking about moving out depending on a lot of things.

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

     Unfortunately

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

     I like collecting pins, pennies, and postcards which is funny to me

(So in conclusion,,, I love my gf)

(wow that was long as hell and took forever but done!)

#long post #ask #sapphicfinalpam

[shakingsphere]

um i need a distraction so heres a question thing that yall are supposed to send to me but i just answered all of them if ur interested

Alisons: Sexuality?

straight i think

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

she/her cis

Amaryllis: Birthday?

january 30th!

Anemone: Favorite flower?

idk what they’re called but these vine type flowers on the side of my porch!

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

atla

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

depends on the context, definitely nothing where they could take advantage of me

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

i hate quotes i can never remember any lmao

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

.... diet coke

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

no

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

maybe? he didnt love me back

Baneberries: Favorite song?

vienna by billy joel

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

my parents are nice and supportive but overbearing and judgmental. my dad has a tendency to talk when its not his place and my mom is very jewish. my sister doesnt like me very much and is kind of rude. one of my brothers is really nice and the other is awful

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

I dont

Begonia: Favorite color?

green

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

red panda

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

a cat

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

an animator 

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

i love kids theyre so cute

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

heights bc theyre scary, and unachieving because i dont want to waste my life

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

i used to play with ants a lot

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  

like if i was conscious it was my last day? i dont even know

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

single :/

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

central asia and iran

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

when im with my friends and we’re just hanging out

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

no ma’am i am a child of god

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  

my ear lobes and i want to get my doubles done

California Poppy: Height?  

5′3. it be like that

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

yes!!!!!!!!!!!! omg

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  

a college sweatshirt and pj pants with penguins on them

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

when i was little....

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

my friend hannah

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

i haven’t...

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

um lobster?

Columbine: Are you tired?

yeah lol

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

college and moving out of state!!

Coneflower: Dream job?

something where i can use my degree lmao

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

i think im an introvert but i also might just have anxiety

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

maybe?

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

i would take a bullet for most of my loved ones

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

yes. a tie-dyed teddy bear named tie-dye. he is my husband.

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

aquarius

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

nothing that people who arent me should remember, but i think our experiences shape us so

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

im not dead idk

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  

um id probably be upset i care about my parents approval way to much

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

my friend hannah again lol

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

public speaking!!

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

math

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

um i met my future roommate, i lost a bit of weight, and i got some cute shorts

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

stressful! 

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

no

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

join my college’s honors program and study in russia

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

im not doing this one too tired

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed? 

xanax 

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

i try to tell ppl they are important to me

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

im funny i think

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

i wake up at 9:30 its 70 degrees Fahrenheit and i get lunch with some friends and then we hang out for the day

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

im so bad about this all i do is watch youtube and study, but i love to draw and im going to start reading more

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

pretty sure its french for clear or bright (depending on the context). my mom just liked it

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

im from a suburb of kck. its a nice and safe place to grow up but i wouldnt choose to live here

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

nice, but its in the basement so the view is really bad i hate that

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

no nope no

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

she is very smart and hardworking but very judgmental and a bit inconsiderate. she loves me very much tho

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

he is short and angry. he tends to interrupt me a lot. he is supportive of everything i do. he is stingy about money tho

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

my mother’s mom died before i was born, and my i was never close with her father. he died when i was 8. my other grandma has bad dementia and isn’t sure who i am anymore. shes presbyterian but she would send my sister and i dreidels and such for hanukkah. im told i look a lot like her. my grandfather has been very grumpy for as long as ive known him.   

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

my 13th. i had an anxiety attack and had to go home early.

Peony: What was your first job?

i was a hostess at a seafood restaurant.

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

i give myself time to process it and then just move forward i guess

Pink: Where is home?

where your sense of belonging is ig idk

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

i would have made better grades and quit band in middle school haha 

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

i want to be happy with 2 kids and a husband and live below my means but still be comfortable 

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

nihil was a philosopher. 

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

fuck idk my dog

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

background noise when your sitting outside

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

for everything to work out!!!  

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

very very hard

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

the internet

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

8 hours but i overslept

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

i have to

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

i dont have a job rn and thats bad

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

my jeans from uo

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  

cool librarian or 90s mom

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

160,000 dollars :)

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

the cost of college!!!!

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

oof like 2. i read Dune, and Slaughterhouse Five

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

college! finishing up my first semester

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

yeah :( 

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

ive been late to ap french almost every day this semester #c’estlavie

#personal

[uberfluss]

1-97 xoxo

1. What’s your middle name? i forgot i needed one

2. What are you listening to right now? this baby dont cry by K. Flay!

3. What was the last thing you ate? oatmeal

4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? my aunt

5. Do you drink? occassionally 

6. Do you smoke? nope

7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone? usually their affect

8. What is your hair color? naturally dark brown currently fire engine red that wont fucking fade

9. What is your eye color? blue green grey 

10. Do you wear contacts/glasses? both

11. Dogs or cats? cats!

12. What’s your favorite animal?cats oscars or ferrets

13. What’s your favorite television show? myth busters or how its made

14. What’s your favorite movie? beetlejuice!!

15. What’s your favorite band/singer? Billie Eilish Grandson Kflay and Mallrat have been the most recent

16. How old are you? i literally dont know half the time

17. Do you have a crush on anyone? not to my knowledge

18. What’s your sexual orientation? bi

19. What’s your favorite color? honestly i think pink

20. What was your most embarrassing moment? i literally dont know 

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? all the fucking time

22. What were you like when you were a kid? annoying as hell never shut up and never stopped moving

23. What would your dream house be like? a small little apartment that i could safely afford

24. What last made you laugh? shaving cream in a crock

25. What is your favorite word?idt i have one 

26. What is your least favorite word? not sure

27. What turns you on? no

28. What turns you off? someone being a fucking asshat

29. What is your star sign? triple sagittarius

30. What are your favorite books? hunger games, illiad, mary shelly’s frankenstein, les miserables, and donte’s inferno.

31. Do you have any siblings? too many

32. Do you like to dance? only by myself

33. What is your definition of cheating? starting a relationship with no intent to tell your other partner(s)

34. Have you ever cheated on someone? no

35. Do you regret anything? loads

36. Do you have any phobias? driving through farmland gives me anxiety if that counts

37. Ever broken any bones? i’ve only fractured my rib the rest have been just dislocations and subfluxes which are daily occurances 

38. Ever come close to death? we all do

39. What is your religion, if any? a mess

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? yep currently seeing one

41. Are looks important in a relationship? not really?

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? hopefully neither

43. What is your favorite season? summer!!!

44. Do you have any tattoos? like 2

45. Do you have any piercings? like 9 hopefully gonna make it 11 soon

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? three

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? lydia deetz when i was like 7 

48. Who is your celebrity crush? winona ryder 

49. Are you a virgin? not answering

50. Do you get jealous easily? i literally cant name a time i’ve been truly jealous

51. What is your favorite type of food? sweets

52. Do you ever want to get married? i see no point in signing a legally binding document that ties me to a person for the foreseeable future. if anything it sounds like really bad dangerous idea.

53. Who was your first kiss with? a girl named maggie in the 6th grade and not the maggie that i post about

54. Have you ever been cheated on? no

55. What is your idea of the perfect date? sitting on a rooftop of a parking garage downtown at night taking photos and enjoying the view of the buildings around eating fries from some fast food place

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? extroverted introvert

57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? i wouldn’t be suprised

58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with? a way with words that doesnt make me seem like an asshole half the time

59. What is your saddest memory? when i lost contact with my parter for two and a half years

60. Do you believe in love at first sight? no

61. Do you believe in soul mates? yes

62. Have you ever dyed your hair? all the time

63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you? no

64. Would you go against your moral code for money? no

65. What are three things most people don’t know about you? 1 i have a kid 2 im partially deaf 3 im in mensa

66. Who are you jealous of? no one really

67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy? a plush heart from my partner

68. How long was your longest relationship? dont know

69. Is the glass half empty or half full? the glass is half full of air and half full of liquid and therefore completely full

70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? no

71. Who is your most loyal friend? Maggie Lizard U.

72. Are you in a relationship?  yes

73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? everything

74. Are you a bad person? it feels like it some days

75. Are you a lover or a fighter? lover

76. What did you do on your last birthday? i dont do anything for my birthday ever

77. What is your favorite quote and why? 

“ there are 7 billion 47 million people on the planetAnd I have the audacity to think I matterI know it's a lie but I prefer it to the alternative”Because you do have to convince yourself there’s value to your life. even if you know deep down there’s nothing because if  you dont you’ll walk down a very dark and dangerous road with only one end. and its not a very pleasant one

78. If your best friend died, what would you do? given she’s the reason im alive i’d probably be completely unable to cope 

79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? i dont even know

80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? i’d call the people i love and tell them i love them and try to hang out with them if i could

81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had? the only dream i can remember is sitting on a curb with maggie playing some jenga like game next to a crashed helicopter surrounded by terrified people with guns and we were just smiling watching a giant giant gaint ship come barreling towards us and i KNew that it was the start of the end of the world. 

82. Are you happier single or in a relationship? i think the same. depends on the relationship.

83. Who were you in a past life? some Victorian bastard

84. What is your happiest childhood memory? driving around around midnight through downtown milwaukee after a death cab concert at the rave

85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? yes

86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? no but my sister had an imaginary friend called mr fork taht she never questioned and she thought when she got older he’d turn into mr knife. she didnt like mr fork and she wanted him to leave

87. If you were the president, what would you do? step down

88. What is your ideal career? i plan on going into phsychology and becomning a therapist ideally i want to run a shelter for run-aways or kids that got kicked out that would provide a stable enviroment and gave kids a place to stay as long as needed and if possible get the parents into therapy with those kids and resolve the home conflicts while the kids are still in the care of the shelter to ensure that they’re not mistreated as a result of anything that was said 

89. What is your political affiliation? socialist at minimum

90. Are you conservative or liberal? liberal

91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection? what the hell is perfection??

92. Do you like kissing in public? depends on the place

93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? create healthy equality 

94. Where would you like to live? in the middle of a giant bustling city like new york or hong kong or in a secluded pine forest running on solar pannels and well water and being completely sustainable

95. Where would you go on your dream vacation?

everywhere

96. Describe yourself in one word.

headache

97. Describe yourself in one sentence.

a dumbass who is really trying their hardest and it just doesnt wanna work

[the-kipsabian]

6, 17, 23, 30, 47, 55, 65, 79, 86, 98 ~

6. What’s your lucky number?7 and 10 ~ cause. its my birthday and im simple as shit lol

17. Who would be your ideal partner?as this is a question of ‘who’ and not ‘what kind’ im just gonna take the simple route and say my man dan avidan 

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?i haaaaaaave like. a few times actually? idk what you count as ‘meeting’, like if it needs to be more than just getting an autograph or not, but yeah ive talked with few people. i did share a story somewhere not too long ago, hang on i gotta dig through my blog to find it real quickhere we go; http://nightmareantagonist.tumblr.com/post/182844927870/59154264 the first answer in this!

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?just one at the moment cause any more kills my neck. i do have three more on the bed tho, they just arent in sleep use

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?i dont. really buy expensive clothes? like pretty much all my clothes are either from sale bins or bought secondhand lol. but the few i have, most of my nerd shirts range from like $18 ~ $25 depending on the shirt? and thennn i have the two big ass hoodies i own, cause ofc i had to get the extremely limited 5 year anniversary grumps hoodie that was like. +$35 i think? and my austin eruption hoodie was a little cheaper, i think it came around $30? i dont think ive bought anything more expensive than those, i just. im very stingy when it comes to putting money into clothes tbh. unless its a hoodie or something extremely special. which is a thing i havent encountered yet lol

55. Most used phrased?fairly sure just any variation including the word ‘fuck’ is. way too popular with me lmao. ‘eat a dick’ and ‘aw hell yeah’ are also very popular ones

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?depends how you define ‘dramatic movie’. if you mean just drama movies, i absolutely love and will die for slumdog millionaire. if you just mean. a movie with dramatic stuff in it, probably avengers: infinity war cause like. ive seen that twice now and ive yelled both times. and high key cried. goddamn that movie just gets to me hnggg

79. Who was your first real crush?im going to assume ‘real crush’ means non-celebrity crush. which would then be this guy from eight grade. who was the only kid in the entire class that was nice to me and made like an effort to do that. so like. i crash landed hard for him lol

86. What are you allergic to?i dont. really think im allergic to anything anymore? i used to be allergic to raw eggs as a kid, which is why i dont eat eggs on their own like. at all. but its speculated that i might have some level of allergy to kiwis? but at the same time im fairly sure im just sensitive to whatever stuff is in them, cause i also get similar reaction to a much lesser degree when eating tomatoes these days to eyyyyy idk man food is just weird lol

98. Do you have any scars?if you dont count cat scratches (i saw my brothers cat like a week ago after a long break and he didnt like how much i was bugging him lol) i have. well not exactly scars but marks. one on my right shoulder when they took a piece of me for allergy tests when i was a kid, and one on my forehead cause i was a shitty kid and fell and hit my head on the coffee table lmao. the only thing i’d consider a scar that i have is on my right foot, like between the two biggest toes, where i had small surgery to remove a mole when i was like sixteen. its not very visible but yeah its there

get to know me uncomfortably well ~

#ss-trashboat #thank you for asking! <3

[hqdelila-blog]

about a delight ;

• BASICS •

Full name: Delila Catriona Bautista-McIntosh

Nickname(s) or alias(es): De, Dede, Delly, Madame, Frenchie.

Preferred name(s): Delila, De, Dede.

Date of birth: May 12th, 1993

Zodiac sign:  Taurus

Religion: Christian. 

Gender: Female. 

Preferred pronouns: She/her

Sexual preference: Pansexual. 

Romantic preference: Pansexual 

Hometown: Tagbilaran , Philippines

Resides in: The Vally, California.

Occupation: Professional Domme, Porn Star.

Language(s) spoken: Spanish, English, broken Scottish Gaelic . 

Native language: Filipino, English.

• BACKGROUND •

Birth order: Youngest. 

Level of education: Graduate of High School.

How were their grades? Excellent, top of class.

Best childhood memory: Anything about her life in the Philippines, seeing as both her parents were enlisted in the army, she was raised mainly by her grandparents. But her favorite memory, if she had to say one would be Christmas when she was 6, it was one where everyone was together, no threat, no... bad, just together. 

Family’s economic status: Birth family, lower middle class, adopted family, very wealthy. 

Childhood career choice: A solider, like her father.

School subject they excelled at: Anything with numbers, science, math-- she loved knowing there as a right and wrong answer.

School subject they had trouble with: Art, she could hardly hold a brush in her hand without dropping it, let alone create something. 

• APPEARANCE, VOICE & MANNERISMS •

Birthmarks/scars/distinguishing marks: She has a freckle on her right cheek, but  scarring is more what she has, after a tour overseas,she is littered in them; the worst of them on her right thigh and leg, her shoulders, and forearms. A lot of them look like burns, cuts. 

Tattoos: None.

Piercings: Ears, just the lobes.

Dominant hand: Right. 

Frequently worn jewelry: Her mothers wedding ring on her pointer finger and her fathers tags around her neck. 

Speech style: (fast, monotone, loquacious?) Depending on who she is with and what she is talking about, it varies-- on casual days it is very clear, not monotone, but not so fast you cannot understand her. When she is angry, passionate, scared-- she will speak a bit faster. 

Verbal tics: (do they have trouble pronouncing certain words or getting their thoughts across clearly?)  None. 

Scent:  Tom Ford, Fucking Fabulous.

Posture: Excellent. 

• PERSONALITY •

Personality type: ESFJ

Positive traits: Empathetic, Kind, Loyal.

Negative traits: Secretive, Dangerous, Impulsive.

Usual mood: Content.

Insecurities: Her skin color, her scarring.

Fears: Not making her birth parents proud, death, and birds.

Comforts: Physical touch, music, volunteer work. 

Habits/quirks: Foot tapping.

Nervous tics: Playing with hair, touching hair. 

Superstitions: None.

Pet peeves: People who play with food, bad hygiene.

• HEALTH & PSYCHOLOGY •

Diet: Generally very good, eats very healthy day to day but does enjoy her fatty foods-- doesn’t restrict much, but doesn’t binge. 

Alcohol Use: Social. 

Drug Use: None. 

Addictions: None. 

Allergies: Coconut. 

Exercise habits: A hug runner, physical strength  training 

Sleeping habits: (Do they sleep well? Badly?) She sleeps terribly most nights, can never fall asleep-- has to take sleeping medication. 

Any physical ailments/illnesses/disabilities? Has a bum leg’, after her return from serving-- during she was sure she had broken her leg, sprained in, done some kind of damage that now she always walks with a small limp.

Any mental illnesses/disorders? PTSD. 

Enneagram Type:  8, the protector.

Moral Alignment: (you can also view this for a simpler description)  Lawful Good, "Crusader"

Temperament: Phlegmatic

Element: Earth.

Hogwarts House: RavenClaw. 

Intelligence Type: Intrapersonal intelligence

• VIEWS ON... •

Life: “People take it too for-granted, they don’t understand that it can be taken away any  moment and it is too short for hate.”

Death: “Something that happens, that... that happens too soon most of the time.”

Love: “Love is... love, love is wonderful and is always there-- it is always there, even in the darkest of times.”

Sex: “Love it enough to make a career out of it.”

Marriage: “Something I do want one day, one day I want it all, a husband/wife, children, a home---I want a love like my mother and fathers.”

Divorce: “An easy way out, there are people that fight for their right to get married only for nearly half of marriages to end in such. If it is for the right reason, a couple that has fallen out of love, a partner beingu nfaithful to the other, it is... just an end people know all too well.” 

Family: “Not always traditional.” 

Friends: “Needed to get by, needed to be not alone-- the platonic love is if not more important than romantic.” 

Politics: “Fuck politics, fuck the fact that peoples voices are taken from them-- you may not want to hear me as a WOC, but you will.” 

Religion: “A comfort.”

Work: “If you enjoy what you do, you will never work a day in your life. Doing what I do, I help those that needed it and that is all that matters.”

Money: “Something that I will never take for-granted,and as someone that is wealthy, I use it to help those that need it.”

Alcohol/Drug Use: N/A

Tattoos/Piercings: N/A

Swearing: N/A

• FAMILY •

Father(s): Birth Father ;  Ailbeart Lee Paterson ;  Adoptive Father; Jacob Andrew McIntosh.

Describe their relationship: Birth Father, Delila was always a fathers girl, while she didn’t she much of him while he was alive, him serving tour after tour; on the times he’d come back with her mother, they’d be attached at the hip. Her father had a thich Scottish accent, thick hair, and arms that when they wrapped around her, the months away, it didnt matter. Delila is proud of her father,she’s proud to be his daughter and wear his tags with honor. She only hopes that he’s proud of her.  //  Adopted father, The two of them-- they didn’t get along, but they did not not get along, her father was a man of few words, that was unless you did something he did not like-- then the words never stopped. She was thankful for him, he gave her the life anyone could ever want, a big house,money, the best education, but... he wasn’t her dad, she never felt that connection. As of the current moment, Delila has not spoken to her father since coming back from tour,  she saw her parents for a total of 11 minutes and it left her knowing they wanted nothing to do with her.

Mother(s): Birth Mother ; Mahalia Dalisay Bautista  Adoptive Mother ; Rosalinda Lydia McIntosh.  

Describe their relationship: Birth Mother, It was the ongoing thing that Delila was her mothers birthday present, ringing in the womans birthday with her birth there was that bond the two shared that no one could place. While like her father, Delila didn’t see much of her, when she did, her mother was one to always squeeze in as much love, as much and as grand as she could in short bursts of time. The one lesson her mother taught her was to love her skin, love her voice- love everything that made her different. // Adopted mother, If there was one thing knew about her mom it was that she was beautiful, but that was it. And that stuck with her, no one could list a good thing about her mom, unless it was related to her beauty. Delila never understood why she choose her to adopt, why in the states there was plenty of children that needed a home, it wasn’t until she overheard her one day talking to a maid, that Delila was more or less a sign of...charity, that she was the ‘Look what a good person I am, I adopted this brown child.” To say their relationship is strained would be an understatement. 

Pet(s): None. 

• QUESTIONNAIRE •

Optimistic or pessimistic? Optimistic. 

Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? A combo of the two, while she is a very neat person, her years in the military taught her, she had a messy side to her, her room the best example. 

Book smart or street smart? Both.

Leader or follower? Leader.

Day or night person? Day.

Cat or dog person? Both

Coffee or tea? Hot coffee, Iced tea. 

What do they wear to bed? Normally nothing, but if something it’s just a big t-shirt. 

Do they snore? No. 

What position do they sleep in? On her stomach or on left side. 

Which side of the bed do they sleep on? Right. 

Can they multi-task or must they focus on one subject at a time? Multitask. 

Do they get restless when things are too quiet or do they favour solitude and silence? Hates silence, gets very restless unless it is silence with a persons she is comfortable with .

What would completely break them?  Being overtaken by her mental illness, never finding love because she is her own worst enemy. 

What was the best thing in their life? Her life in the Philippines. 

#NDHQTASK01

[chickenfetus]

softly whispers all for the flower ask

baby’s breath: 5 things you associate yourself with

chickens/eggs

lance lol

cereal….. everyone in class is stealing my trademark…

water

memes

bleeding heart: what makes you heart go mushy?

fuck,,, my fav characters?? and if i like someone then them i guess? but rn my heart belongs to 2d

bell flower: what’s the title of the song that makes you want to jump around out of joy?

mm it changes?? right now its either this cover (its in japanese) or this song (english but its a tad bit scream-y)

evening primrose: what’s your sleeping playlist (give me 5 songs)?

its all soundtracks from anime lmao,, 

from kimi no na wa’s soundtrack we have this, this and this 

from free!’s ost we have this song that killed every mh shipper lol 

and lastly, not from an anime ost, its shelter 

none of these actually help me fall asleep but i like them,, hell i dont think theres any song that can help me fall asleep

forget-me-not: who is your favorite blog who isn’t following you?

miyu//keis does this ensure it doesnt show up i hope it does i recently followed them while lurking in the mi//sawa tag lol theyre a good graphic person??? idk what theyre called;;

daffodil: what is one plant that you want to have but can never get?

the succulent things but i wouldnt be able to care for it bc i succ (perfect match)

calla lily: are you more of a sunny day or a rainy evening?

im a sunny day and rainy evening person… ok maybe sunny day if im not directly under the sun because i do enjoy the sun’s warmth rainy days are nice too,, only if im indoors.. rainy evening is perfect,, as long as no bugs can get it im safe and secure and chill

foxglove: what is your favorite color and in what shade?

blue!!!!! is sky blue a shade

lavender: what is something that you’ve always wanted to be/have/get but can never have?

a cat…..

love in a mist: what is the latest dream that you remember?

ok ive had dreams every night this week but now i cant re oh wait i do remember last night’s dream but only the lame part,, ok so i dreamt i had a 4* hina on bang dream..,,, i dreamt of another thing but i forgot :-( the 4* was indeed a dream though sad i havent gotten a single 4* yet lmao my luck is awesome oh but i did get a 5* and two 4*s on enstars so thats cool

daisy: what is your favorite flavor of cotton candy, ice cream, and juice?

cotton candy,, has flavours????? 

cookies and cream!!

i like water juice

painter’s palette: are you more of a singer, dancer, painter, or instrumentalist?

none??? i guess i paint when i have to although i rly wanna paint but im just a lazy fool

tulip: what is your most favorite make-up product? do you like it more natural, dark, or etc?

i dont use make up i am a youngin also what does the second question say i dont understand

waxflower: are you a bee or a butterfly person? a dog or a cat person?

neither lmao i have a fear of butterflies and bees… bees fear me i fear bees its mutual fear i like cats better but i like dogs too

sugarbush: do you have sweet tooth? if yes, what’s your favorite sweets? if no, why?

yes,,, i was gonna ask if it was even possible to have a favourite but then i remembered i do actually one although its more of a jellybean thing its poifull!!

sunflower: would you like to be a fairy or a mermaid?

mermaid bc i wanna live in the water

sweet pea: what would you like to call your significant other?

ok i just finished acca so naturally i still think abt it and jean called nino his ‘partner in crime’ so nnow i want one (a partner in crime i mean not a nino but thatd b cool 2)

sea lavender: can you swim? which strokes can you do?

yes i havent been in a pool in like 3 years oh boy,, breaststroke is the easiest lmao i forgot how to do any of the others

windflower: list 5 of your favorite blogs and explain why you like them

softshouyous, well i followed her bc she talks in her tags so thats one thing,, shes also super nice?? and helpful!!! a good friend and mutual!!!! im also comfy enough with her to like,, be sarcastic and we can shame each other freely.. without worrying abt offending one another,, theres also the fact that she understands me (ok this may b what i like 2 think and falen actually doesnt get me but its COOL) idk man i just love her,,, my bud whens our one year friendsivary i gotta search that up :0

(i almsot forgot to do the rest go me anyway) next is,, youhavebeentraceyd bc shes one of my first mutuals (sorry to the one who was actually my first) who i actually talked to!!! we both watch daiya and i didnt rly follow anyone who liked daiya previously and oh!! we had the same notps LOL i love tracey’s art and hell i think she dragged me to mochi hell kudos to u tracey idk i jsut enjoy her presence on my dash and get v excited to see her art on there we may not talk as much anymore but i still appreciate her a lot!!! bless u tracey and thank you!!! (for being alive i wish u all the best in life)

alpacarara i like her bc shes basically my tumble mum,, the mum i actually talk to and ask for help/advice she gives good advice too and shes v approachable,,,,,,, a v good friend,,,,,, u r appreciated by me,,,, yes........... shizu chan also appreciates ur existence momther,,,, thakn u 4 all youve done 2 helpme a good pal.... bless u,

clearly these r  getting hard bc my mind is goddamn empty rn but ill manage,, kacchan whose url is not spelt like that but thats ook bc one day it will be but now im starting to think i shouldnt leave it as that bc someones bound to stumble upon this extra post in the kacchan tag goddammit,, annYWay i like kacchan bc theyre friendly! and also v relatable,,,, theyre also kinda scary but thats ok bc its the good kind of scary idk man kacchan is just, great?? we dont talk but thats cool bc ik we’re still friends even if we dont have full blown convos!!!! id b 2 nervous 2 talk 2 them not bc theyre bad or anythign im just a ??? a bad conversationalist and also v lazy ok  thats besides the point i like kacchan bc kacchan is kacchan so??? theyre a good friend and we tag each other in things and i like that friendship its a good type of friendship,,, idkdkdk?? theyre just. chill not literally chill but just chill. this doesnt make sense anymre gomenasorry

lAST ONE uh hhhh every one of my mutual’s blogs why i like all of them?? bc theyre not problematic!! they post good content trademark and r lovely even if we dont talk much!!! i love everyone period

golden rod: are you more of a baker or a cook?

i am more of a Disaster in the kithcen

bloom: what is something that you would like to tell your children?

u guys shld b surprised yall even exist (if i am the True Parent)

if not,, then itd b u guys r with me and my partner in crime,, who is actually a real person,,,,,, be shocked idk im just trying t o make it clear that in the event i do get married id surprise myself bc me/?? have a good and lasting relationship????? impsossible 

peony: what is something that you wish your parents could’ve told you?

they shouldve told me to stick with cereal

prairie gentian: do you have a significant other?

doe s lance count

september flower: are you more of a sunshine or sunset person?

was this supposed 2 say sunrise,,,, anyway sunrise i guess bc im a morning person (when i WILLINGLy wake up by myself) on hot ass days sunset bc then i wont b sweating 24/7

bird of paradise: do you wake up early? do you sleep early?

yEAH LOL i wake up early on weekends bc i want to and i have to wake up early on weekdays so,,, i prefer not to sleep later than 12am bc i am Fear and in the event that i do sleep later than 12 its bc im talkin 2 a friend i like a lot

marigold: what’s your favorite tea?

water tea english breakfast,, havent had that in awhile tho

peruvian lily: what are the names of your pets?

i have non

hyacinth: do you name your plants?

i have nnone but i dont even nickname my pkmn so 

lilac: would you rather sleep and be cozy or hang out with your friends?

depends? on the tme??? if its late at night id rather b asleep and cozy if its in the day then maybe.. .. .

poppy: do you like to dip your fries or do you like it as is?

i like all of my food plain and dry (cereal) unless its noodles,, i need my noodles iin soup

dandelion: any special talent that you have?

drinking water

#softshouyous #asks #this got long #tHANK U FOR ASKING i did it!!!! #its been so long #since i properly answered one of ur asks memes #feels good

[gardenwitchofthenorth]

I Have :) A Broken :) Foot:)

a complaint by me, 

so im a witch and an empath and i own reptiles and cats and i love my garden and 

and my life has gone completely fucking of the rails.

let me start from the beginning (read on if you want to hear how depression just gets worse and how I’m so close to ending my life )

so the beginning

I would like the beginning to be when I quit school, but its way before that. why would I like it not to be? well I thought my life was pretty good then, but apparently the decisions I made then led me to be an injured dropout with little to no hope of surviving 

anyway, the beginning. 

honestly? it was after my sophomore year of college. something during that summer changed. I would say I dont know what it was but im done lying to myself (no matter how much it pains me to admit how much I royally fucked myself) 

I had recently been diagnosed with MDD (major depressive disorder) and made the first step to treatment (that wasnt just crying on my school counselors chair every thursday)

I went on medication. had a whole freak out over it. didnt want to be dependant on anything blah blah 

so I thought, “yay medication means no scary phonecalls with my insurance people and therapy places” 

Fuck me. Fuck 19 year old me. I should have gotten therapy like I was TOLD to do by every fucking person in my life. but I didnt. 

So I took my meds and then I didnt take my meds and then I did. And then I went back to school.

Summer had been hellish. so I thought the fall would be better. I was president of Alliance (my schools lgbtq organization) and I was an lgbtq student peer leader AND I was the secretary of SGA

Cool right?

no. I was not ready. because my dumb ass thought that my meds would work, I got a dorm room TO MYSELF (what the fuck was I thinking) and didnt seek the FREE counseling. 

so needless to say, My grades tanked. First semester of my junior year? failed. 

I didnt even make it to finals because in december, my fiance (who was four hours away) calls and tells me his brother died. 

so I go home, miss finals, fail my semester. 

Now I have a grieving family and funeral things to work with. I wasnt gonna go back. 

so what do I do? sign up for classes “just in case” 

and my financial aid comes in 

I shit you not, it was $2000

and guess what my empathetic ass did? 

I fuckin went back to school so I could give $800 of that refund to my fiance's mother.

which I do not regret by the way. Of all the shit thats happened in the last year, I do not regret becoming closer to her. she is an amazing woman 

So as this is all going on, I am also having an identity crisis. Now I already identify as Demisexual and Bisexual. But I was battling with being Polyamorous as well. 

so in order to get a handle on all of this before i go back, My two friends, Britney and Samma want me to stay at their place for the semester so they can help me because they know I’m struggling. They are also poly. thatll come in later

so I go back to school, unprepared and unorganized, terrified and depressed. 

long story short on this part: Britney and I start dating. 

I love her I love Samma and I love their kids. 

my fiance, however, is, you guessed it, monogamous 

he says hes cool with it and stupid me believes him and everything is okay for like, 3 months. 

by this point its like, march? i’ve given up on school and am just going to let myself get suspended.

because my depression has gone from bad to worse and I want to die. 

I hurt myself 

I wind up in the hospital for 6 days until I feel safe enough to go home. 

and things continue to be shitty. Britney is also Demisexual, but apparently, by like the end of april(?) i bypass her demi. 

and shit gets real.

britney wants to have sex with me. My fiance is not comfortable with it and neither am I  

my partners start getting at each other and samma becomes so depressed she cant function. i go home for a bit, (four hours away) and britney cheats on me. 

so I go back after a week and things are okayish(?) 

but then we wind up having all sorts of fights, and it gets really personal and things get out of hand. Britney and I break up I pack my stuff that I can and spend a week at my best friends house. I get checked out of my dorm (which I still had for some reason, anxiety mostly) and my fiance agrees to come get me in a week. 

(oh by the way my Best friend was also moving apartments at this time. I had to help her surrender her cat to the shleter. )

so things are super shitty and awful. Britney is in a word, toxic. I dont want to go into it but she likes to be the center of attention, which I am used to giving her. until she flips out on my best friend and her boyfriend causing them both to go into (ptsd and autism related) meltdowns. 

a few days later I’m bed ridden because I got the worst period of my life. like physically sick from it. 

and then, the day before im supposed to leave, I fall down the stairs and fracture my toe. so that was a whole ordeal.

my fiance comes to get me, and we drive home and I’m allowed to be miserable for a while.

my friend across the street makes me her maid of honor and my garden is blooming. havent heard from britney in about a week. I have an interview coming up. everything is finally settled down 

until I fall carrying my honorary nephew, fracturing a bone in my foot that cracked when I fell down the stairs. so that was a whole week long thing ending with me being in a cast. 

(my nephew was fine even after I nearly hugged him to death in apology)

so now, I’m a depressed piece of shit who cant do regular tasks around the house.

my interview must not have gone well because they didnt call me back. 

Britney and I had a phone call that didnt end well 

I very seriously thought about casting myself down the stairs yesterday while struggling with my crutches. 

for the past year my life has just been one bad thing after another. I just dont want to be alive any more, 

my daily routine has been waking up at 2pm, watching bojack horseman and playing stardew valley until my fiance gets home from work. 

I feel useless. I cant get a job. I cant help him with anything, and the things I can do are minuscule in comparison to what he can accomplish. I just want to lay down and die. 

but I cant, and I wont. 

I made some horrible decisions in the last year. I did this to myself. I have no one to blame but me. so I guess this is sort of a confession. 

I’m a useless piece of shit. 

[lightningbuck]

1 - 100 ;-) p.s.: suck my board bitch

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?More milk

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?No

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?Pens

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I don’t drink coffee and i take my tea without sugar or milk or anything

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes

6: do you keep plants? Uh yeah

7: do you name your plants? No

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Apparently cooking and baking is a artistic medium too, so yeah that one

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yes

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Eh it differs

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? du bis so süß memmed

12: what’s your favorite planet? Pluto

13: what’s something that made you smile today? I to think about a cute message i’ve gotten from someone

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? I think it just would be messy af tbh

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! “If you fell into a black hole, you would stretch like spaghetti.”

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? Pasta with tomato sauce and vegetables

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? Maybe blonde or dark brown again idk

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. I dont remember anything

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I have kind of a sketch book where i practice drawing

20: what’s your favorite eye color? Green

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I don’t have any bags that i love to pieces

22: are you a morning person? Depends

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Lay in bed and read fanfictions or watch movies

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Uhm i don’t actually know

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? I’ve never broken into anything

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I think my black converse

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? I dont eat bubblegum

28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? I cant think of anything 💃🏼

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Yes

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. What the fuck is a white sock hell

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Sooo i slept at my friends house and we were sleeping in the same bed an in the middle of the night she hit me on the head bc she didnt know what was laying next to her

33: what’s your fave pastry? Croissants

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? I had a pink rabbit that i just called rabbit and i lost it at a hotel, i was devastated

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Uh yes and yes

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? 1D, always every day

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean but its always messy

38: tell us about your pet peeves!-homophobic, sexists, and non-feminist people,..-when people don’t let other people finish speaking-being rude in general

39: what color do you wear the most? Black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? Well i was gifted a necklace with a little anchor on it on christmas once and i wear it everyday :-)

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? Harry Potter(all books)

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!Don’t have one43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Uuuh my dad when i was a kid i think

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Idk lol

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yes

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. I only have good puns

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Licorice

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Its the darkness

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I like it very much the last one was “Too weird to live, Too rare to die”

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? I dont collect anything

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Blink-182 - First Date

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? That one women shouting the lyrics

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Never watched it

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? Idk tbh

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? I cant think of anything

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Their smile

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? I did dramatically sing the lyrics 💃🏼

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? Tbh i dont even know

59: what’s your favorite myth? Idk

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? Sometimes i see poetry on my dash and think ayeee thats pretty nice

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? I once gifted someone memes

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Only drink water

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I just put my books and cd in my shelf

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Light blue

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? My cousin

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Only daisies

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Idk what

68: what’s winter like where you live? It doesnt snow that often anymore :-(

69: what are your favorite board games? Uuh idk

70: have you ever used a ouija board? No

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? Just fruit tea

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? Yes

73: what are some of your worst habits? Uff i think procrastinating

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. I love their relationship with their partner bc their all cute together and their are one of my best friends uh yeah

75: tell us about your pets! My cat always scratches me :-(

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? I should pack my stuff

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Never had pink one

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? Idc

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Just when people say “i love you to me” thats very cute

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Beige and i think i chose it idk

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

82: are/were you good in school? I’m alright

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? Tbh the album art of Harry Styles album just perfectly sums up my aesthetic

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I’d love to have lyrics

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Dont read it

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? What are concept albums lol

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?Tbh Harry Potter ayeee 🤷🏼‍♀️

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? No

89: are you close to your parents? Could be closer

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Tbh i dont have a favorite city

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? I dont eat cheese with pasta

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?Just open hair

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Uhm my best friend i thinj

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Meeting my cousin and going to my nephews birthday

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? Procrastinate

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Infp, leo, hufflepuff

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? I dont enjoy it

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.I wont mind - ZaynBackseat Serenade

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Wouldnt press any of them