#if all of these asks are just ''what was kinn thinking here'' i'm going to fucking laugh

[daswarschonkaputt]

What was Kinn thinking here? Was he upset at himself, joking, turned on?

"First time anal sex without—” to Kinn’s still looking at him like he’s fragile,

ahh, my favourite part of the sex scene: they actually talk to each other before getting down and dirty.

“First time anal sex without—” Porsche winces, just a bit. “Without?” “Drugs.”

it's interesting to me that you've pulled out this bit of their interaction, because to me, this is the bit where i think it's most obvious what kinn is thinking. but that might just be from my position of author omniscience.

kinn is a bit blindsided by this, i'll be honest. i've mentioned before, but kinn has absolutely no reason not to believe that porsche has experience with men. unlike canon, porsche went into the compound fully aware of kinn's proclivities -- he kind of had to be, as he was being kinn's fake boyfriend. so, porsche has shown no negative reaction whatsoever to kinn on account of kinn being a man.

they've never talked about it before. kinn thinks porsche is, at the very least, bisexual, and fairly experienced. and porsche himself has taken steps to try and prevent kinn from finding out about his inexperience, because he didn't want to feel like it was being used against him.

Kinn’s thumb stills where it’s stroking his cheek. When he speaks, his voice is just a little too light to be believed. “You’ve had a lot of sex under the influence, then?” This is—worse, almost, than if Kinn just laughed at him. “No.” Kinn’s face is unreadable.

here, kinn is clarifying with porsche if what he thinks he's reading from the conversation is correct. he's asking if porsche has made a habit of hooking up with men under the influence of drugs, essentially -- he doesn't expect porsche to say yes, but he still doesn't really like it when porsche says no.

this is because it retroactively makes kinn and porsche's first time That Much worse, almost. because it wasn't just kinn and porsche's first time sleeping together -- it was porsche's first time with a man full-stop. and that adds to the already sticky power differential in a very bad way.

Well. He’s already humiliated himself enough at this point. Might as well go all the way. “I liked it,” Porsche says. “If I didn’t, I might have had an easier time figuring out what I wanted to do with it. I—the drugs, I wouldn’t, again, but—everything else. I liked it.”

porsche has been so hesitant to admit this for so long, because he was scared that kinn would use his enjoyment of it against him. he was scared that enjoying it would somehow invalidate his feelings of hurt and violation at kinn's hands. he was scared that by admitting it he was sacrificing his right to be upset by it. he was scared that admitting he liked it might make kinn think it was okay to do it to him again.

and this moment, where he says that he liked it -- this is the moment that he realises that the pattern of behaviour that led to the diamond auction, the pattern of behaviour that made it worse -- i.e. kinn's inability to respect porsche's boundaries or consent, the casual way he exerts power over porsche in their interactions -- that pattern of behaviour is no longer a concern for porsche. he trusts kinn. he doesn't think kinn will use his enjoyment against him.

and i think kinn is very aware of what porsche is surrendering, or risking, by admitting this. he's aware that this is a huge vulnerability from porsche. which is why --

Kinn’s still looking at him like he’s fragile, which is—sweet, but not really what Porsche is after right now.

the last thing i wanted to mention is that this scene is a thematic reversal of their confrontation at the end of chapter three. at the end of chapter three, porsche rejects kinn's attempts to talk about their problems, and it's only after he's initiated a sexual encounter that he lets kinn talk to him about it. here, porsche uses his words before they have sex, and then forces the escalation into sex. growth.

#fic: between the sheets #asked and answered #sheets dvd commentary #if all of these asks are just ''what was kinn thinking here'' i'm going to fucking laugh #guys i know i starved you for his pov but there are clues in the narrative if you look #drugs cw #dub con cw #canon typical content warnings for kinnporsche apply

[shou-jpeg]

-Back on the Beat-

Part 4. 03

-------------------

“Your teeth are going to rot at this rate, p’Kim," Chay says, eyeing Kim’s drink critically as they sit down at a table in the back corner of the tea shop. 

“I’ve got a good dental plan,” Kim says, taking a sip. “And it’s worth the risk.” 

Chay perks up, leaning forward in his chair eagerly. “You like the classic flavour then?” 

Kim hums, looking down at his drink and using the straw to mix the little pearls around the bottom of the cup. “The tapioca pearls are a little weird, but the flavour of the tea is nice.”

Chay beams at him.

-------------------

“I don’t really know what to do with myself. I still love music, but I’m not sure it’s something I want to pursue as a career after all. I wanted to be what your music was to me and help people and be there for them when they need it most... but I'm not sure being a musician is how I want to achieve that goal.” 

Kim shifts uncomfortably in his seat at the piano, Chay’s guitar is abandoned to the side, long forgotten in the wake of their conversation. Kim doesn’t regret asking Chay about his gap year, but he wishes he didn’t feel so responsible for causing Chay to drop his university interview. Chay had just finished telling him about how Kim’s rejection was only one of several reasons he did so, but he still feels that responsibility like a sharp knife to his chest. He’s also unsure if Chay is just downplaying his involvement in light of their rekindled not-relationship. 

“Do you think you will go back next year?” He asks hesitantly.

“Yeah,” Chay replies. “I want to, but I need to figure out everything else first. Music was a pipe dream to a future with hia that helped get us through some tough times, but it’s not a realistic future. Not for me anyway.”

Kim looks down at his hands. 

“But.. I still want to keep making music, p’Kim. I like making music with you and coming here to jam regularly."

Kim looks up and makes eye contact with Chay's warm expression for a moment before looking away, unsure what to say. A light smile tugging at his lips and a warm feeling in his chest.

-------------------

-------------------

November 21st, 8:08pm

Kim has been strumming around on his guitar for hours now, feeling uninspired but with an unquenchable urge to create. His cat, Jimbo, has been sleeping on the sofa, only waking breifly every now and then to groom.

He thinks of his brothers. 

Khun and his melodrama that at times feels more like a front than genuine feeling. Khun’s been messaging him recently with requests to come visit and watch a new series that dropped. Apparently it’s a BL that he just “has to watch, Kim. It’s about the mafia! It looks very cool and romantic!” 

He should make time for him next week.

He thinks of Kinn, his desperate need to please their pa clouding his view forward. Kinn would resent him for saying it, so he doesn’t, but sometimes he thinks Kinn stands as more of a pawn to their father than he even realises. His agency a part of a larger, more complicated plan. Porsche is also part of that plan, though Kim isn't sure the romance had been anticipated.

Kim does his best to keep Kinn safe from a distance, the details of Kinn’s month’s schedule in a short, neat stack on his desk across the room. 

He thinks of Chay and their developing not-relationship. He doesn’t know what to think of some of their interactions lately, but Kim has been feeling that simmering hope boil within him with each message, each not-date, each little smile… 

He looks down at his note book, chords written down messily. They sound nice, but they feel a little hollow and unexciting.

Kim has an idea. 

He hesitates a little, but then hits record on his voice recorder app, plays his notebook chords, and sends them to Chay before he can psyche himself out of it. 

He loves making and talking music with Chay, why should he limit sharing that to their studio sessions? Chay has a habit of saying just the right thing that sparks Kim’s creative flow, and sometimes just talking to Chay gets him out of his head.

Kim smiles down at his phone softly. God.

-------------------

November 22nd, 7:30pm

"Hey" Kim says into the his phone. He has it wedged between his cheek and his sholder while he uses both hands to chob vegetables.

"Hi!" Chay's chipper voice comes through the speaker, "what are you up to, p'Kim?"

He slides the chopped carrots into a small bowl, moving on to the red capsicum. "I'm cooking dinner. Pad Phak."

"P'Kim, you cook?" Chay sounds surprised which... okay fair. Kim is a child of wealth and living in the very building Kim grew up in, Chay has seen first hand how meal times tend to work.

"Mmm. I like it, it's fun."

"Oh my God" Chay breathes quietly into the mic. Kim isn't sure what to make of that. He thinks it's a good thing... Chay sounded almost awed. Does Chay like it that Kim can cook?

He suddenly feels a little proud of himself, and maybe slightly pompous. "I'll cook for you sometime," he says, "I make a really good pad kra pao."

"Yes!" Chay says excitedly, causing Kim to jump. He continues in a softer tone "I'd love that, p'Kim."

-------------------

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First

Playlist

#kinnporsche #kimchay #kim theerapanyakul #porchay kittisawasd #porchay pachara #i want you bach au #i want you bach au part 4 #got it finished! #the real reason this is late is it was my best friends birthday yesterday and he decided what he wanted to do for that was #to spend all night playing video games with me and my other housemate #so i didn't get to finish this #updates to the playlist for this one!

[ae-azile]

Kind of have a Chan/Big one-shot in my head that I am thinking about writing but have no time for. I'm going to bullet point it here to have on hand for later.

Big still takes the bullets for Porsche. When Kinn arrives, he initially thinks he is dead. Tawan still presses the button and kills himself. However, the bombs Tawan placed end up being duds and the effort was for nothing.

Once they realize the place isn't about to blow up, they go back inside to get Big's body. He turns out to be unconscious but alive. They rush him to the infirmary and he miraculously pulls through, but is going to be there for a while.

Despite the Drama™️ going on, Kinn, Porsche, and his fellow guards visit him. Kinn is very thankful and sorry, Porsche is thankful as well but feels like Big should value himself more highly and tells him as much, and the rest are trying to be present.

Even Tankhun visits him. He usually talks about how he should put demands on Korn to change up the decor of his room. But occasionally, he tearfully thanks Big for saving Porsche. There is also one time that he tells Big he deserves a better ending than the one he tried to give himself. That he may not have leading man energy, but he could totally be half of a secondary couple in a K-Drama if he just found the right person.

"And sometimes the secondary couple is more interesting anyway!"

But out of everyone, Chan visits the most frequently and has been putting the most work in when it comes to Big's care.

The thing is, Big notices two guards aren't around: Pete and Ken. The guards tell him Pete is visiting his grandmother, and they sound believable enough when they say that, even though it seems like strange timing. But they won't meet his eyes when he asks about Ken, and their stories never line up.

Chan eventually tells him. While the truth paints Ken as a traitor and there is no getting around that, Chan tries his best to empathize with Ken by telling Big that Ken was likely approached by Gun with an incentive to be a double agent. If he would have refused, it would have cost him his life a lot earlier on. He says it to let Big know it's okay to mourn Ken. Ken was still his roommate and his friend, regardless of what he did.

They become closer after that night, and Chan talks to Big in a way that is less gruff and more gentle. Big finds comfort in him, and has prior to this. Chan was the one who made sure Big took an extended break after his father died. He drove an hour each way to check on him at his mother's house back when that happened. So Big has felt comfortable coming to Chan in his moments of worry or doubt, and he has always viewed Chan with respect and affection while the other guards tended to be more intimidated by him. But something feels different now.

He doesn't know who to talk about it with though. Ken is dead, and he probably would have teased him and said he had a crush on their boss.

Does he?

Chan is at least ten years older than him. He probably shouldn't have a crush on him. He's also actively taking care of Big, and Big has a long recovery in front of him. He's setting himself up for unrequited love. Again.

Speaking of, Kinn is continuing to visit. He does so frequently, and Big can see that he's wracked with gullt. Big still feels his heart beat a little faster whenever he walks into a room, but that is starting to feel different too. Kinn almost feels like a friend now. That's probably inappropriate as well, but on a lesser level.

So he holds it in. He plans on doing so forever until he wakes up gasping from a nightmare. Chan had fallen asleep in the chair, but woke up when Big did. Instead of telling him it was just a dream, he scooted closer to comfort him, stroked his hair, and held his hand until he fell back asleep.

Big ends up telling Pol, of all people. It just slips out. Pol doesn't seem like the right person to tell, but not the wrong person either. He manages to strongly empathize with and defend Tankhun, while most of the guards tend to steer clear of him, so maybe he will understand this insanity.

Pol is actually nice to talk to. While he doesn't completely understand a potential crush on Chan because Chan is intimidating, he gets having a crush on someone a good bit older. He thinks he might be into a bartender friend of Porsche's, and she has several years on him.

The conversation doesn't give Big any answers, but it does make him feel a little better. He's able to be around Chan and not feel like freaking out.

That is, until Korn "dies" and the attack approaches. Chan has Big moved to a more secure location a day prior. Big wants to stay, Chan won't let him. Big only feels okay about leaving when Chan says he will command from the armory while Arm sends out remote attacks, that he won't be a frontline guard.

Chan lied.

Does he die? Does he miraculously live like Big manages to in this canon divergent fic or like Vegas does in canon? Depends on how much I want to torture Big, I suppose...

Jk, I want them as infirmary roomies falling in love, all while Pol wheels in to visit while he heals from his less serious injury. I also want Chan to be finished with Korn altogether after everything he pulled.

#chanbig #bigchan #kinnporsche fanfic #chanbig fanfic #chanbig fic #chanbig fanfiction #and they were (infirmary) roommates #kinnporsche plot bunnies #fanfic plotting #plot bunnies

[thepetesimp]

So. I think as a fandom we haven't talked about this nearly enough. Actually, I haven't seen it mentioned at all and I want to change that.

It's just a throw away line. The screen writers were probably like, "Hm, we need to make Tankhun say something relevant to the situation as a reason for him wanting to give Pete to Kinn and take Porsche. Ah, yes, a bizarre thing from the past with Macau and Pete, cool, throw that in." What the screenwriters didn't expect, I suppose, is me seeing that line and losing my mind over it. I've been thinking about it for months, it's kind of a problem.

Alright. How is this line significant? Well, it gives us vital information about 1. Pete himself and 2. Pete and Macau's relationship, because it sure af affects it later on, even though we never saw it in the show (we needed more Macau GODDAMMIT.) Ok, so first things first. Pete. I would like everyone to know that this is the second time we get indication that Pete speaks his mind against things he believes are wrong to do. The first is during the mermaid scene in ep 2, the screenshot below showing what Pete said to Tankhun when he ordered him to feed Porsche bread:

Generally, throughout the show, we see glimpses of Pete's opinions being expressed at the Theerapanyakul sons, and while most if not all of those times he gulps them back down, the fact that he said them at all is significant to his character. He's not a pushover. He doesn't just blindly follow orders. He has *opinions* about what he sees and hears and he expresses them. And he's smart enough to not retort when those opinions are not taken seriously, being ignored or when he gets warned about them (a.k.a. the interaction he had with Vegas at the table in ep 4, this moment also lives rent free in my mind, thank you.) Back to Macau, what was even the situation with him that ended up making Tankhun asking Pete to tie him up? Was it just silly Tankhun being silly (that man is never silly, he knows exactly what he's doing)? Was it something serious that involved the whole family? Neither of those? Whatever it was, the most important thing is that Pete said no. And, in headcanon fashion, I believe Macau was present during that moment. Macau saw Pete refuse Tankhun's order, the order of someone from the main family, someone above Macau in status. He saw it and he remembers it to this day, because during the temple scene in ep 9, we get this:

Ok. I'm going a little feral over what my mind has come up with. What we're seeing here is Macau, a member of the minor family, the lesser family, making fun of Tankhun, the oldest son of the main family. The family Pete serves. And all of the people present know this. It's evident - to me at least - by the fact that Vegas says *nothing* about Tankhun. He just says Pete is alone as an answer to Macau's question. So, the conclusion of this is that Macau feels confident and comfortable with sharing his actual opinions about Tankhun to Pete, who's Tankhun's main bodyguard, which both brothers know about. Vegas is also comfortable and confident with allowing Macau to say those things and the reason I'm mentioning him as well is because we all know how protective Vegas is of Macau. If that endangered him in any way, he wouldn't allow it. A reason they're both comfortable, of course, is because Pete is below *everyone* in status. He's literally just a foot soldier, he has no power over them. But the moment he returns to the main family, he has protection against Vegas and his side. He's in his own turf, and Vegas cannot do shit to the main family bodyguards if the main family decides so, as evident by the whole Porsche&Macau situation in ep 2. Now, can we imagine for a hot second, if Pete reported that back to the main family, what would have happened? Probably nothing, I hear you say, and maybe you're correct. But the more suspicious (and angsty) part of me wants to believe that there would be repercussions for this. Tankhun can literally hit Vegas with a fucking tray if he wants to, because he dared eat at the same table as Kinn. He can order Pete to tie Macau up because...something something Macau is a brat I guess. He can do whatever the fuck he wants to them, even if they've done nothing wrong. Can you imagine what he would do if he had actual reasons to punish them? The thought makes me shiver but it's reality and it's evident from ep fucking 2, as mentioned above, when all Porsche gets for making Macau BLEED from the HEAD, is a little choking and a pat on the back. The same goes for Kinn of course. He threatened Vegas with a gun in his OWN FUCKING HOUSE because he kissed Porsche in ep 7. He says the line "Do you see my ring?" and everyone understands what that means. The main family can do whatever the fuck it wants to the minor family and you just have to shut up and accept it. In conclusion, where does that bring us to Macau&Pete post-canon? Well, there's the simple thing called "trust". Yes, Macau will not trust Pete immediately. Yes, I love seeing this in the multiple hospital era fics I've read. But, can I introduce the variable of that event shaping Macau's feelings about Pete to the table? Because holy shit, it's eating away at me and I love it so much to let it be ignored anymore.

#Istg I will never get over how much this show can give to a viewer that decides to pay attention #Or decides to rewatch it a million times like a certain someone #It's me I'm the certain someone #Pete&Macau mean so much to me #My favorite platonic relationship in the show and I'm not even kidding #My boys deserve the world #kinnporsche the series #pete phongsakorn saengtham #macau theerapanyakul

[snickerdoodlles]

📒📓📔📕???? Pretty please :3

❤❤!

sometimes @majestictortoise and i toss around story ideas that are less plot and more of us just chucking our favorite things in the communal soup pot and letting them stew. case in point:

Kim and Porsche meet first AU! 🥳

Porsche rescues Kim from mafia thugs

why does Kim need rescuing? unimportant! what matters is Porsche sees a nong in need and rushes to his rescue. Kinn-shaped people get charged 50k baht for his assistance, Kim-shaped people get help whether they like it or not. and afterwards Kim, who's father taught him that everything has a cost and how to keep a mental ledger of favors and debts, tries to pay Porsche off for the help.

Porsche, who's 'tips' have always been for sex work, sees the wad of cash and goes "you want a post-fight fuck????"

Kim, an awkward turtle-duck, bolts away like ???nO????!!!!!!

Kim hires Porsche as a bodyguard

how did we get from "hire me for sex?" to "hire me for protection?" unimportant! what matters is Kim secures Porsche for himself and Porsche thinks "how hard can guarding one moderately popular youtube star be?" and the raccoon shenanigans that ensue. and, of course, Kim finding the connection between their families and investigating his own hire. then 2 days later, because Kim doesn't have a crush to draw out the investigation and Porsche couldn't do subterfuge to save his life, Kim confronts Porsche with his evidence and Porsche goes "what the FUCK do you mean our families are CONNECTED?!" and these two going full gremlin investigator mode together.

Porsche brings Kim home

when exactly does this happen? unimportant! what matters is Porsche and Kim smuggle themselves into the neighborhood late at night, which results in Chay looking up from playing a videogame or doing homework or whatever to see his brother standing there with ✨Wik✨ in his own living room and his first response is "why'd you bring me my favorite musician" because clearly that is the only reason why his beloved older brother, who keeps trying to give him the moon and stars even though he didn't ask for them, would bring home Wik. also;

Chay: *thinks about his idol wall one floor above* Kim: *stares at cute boy* Porsche: i see i'm not needed here

Chay learns Porsche is mafia

how exactly does this come up? unimportant! what matters is:

"he's mafia" "i don't care that Kim's mafia, why are YOU mafia hia!!!!" "...i'll just uh... be over..... there......." Kim says to no one before awkwardly shuffling himself off to a corner.

naturally, this is when Kinn decides to show up

why does he choose now to stop by? because older brother instincts drive you to always be the most annoying person in the room, next. Kim hired a guard out of nowhere without telling Kinn or Papa and the guy's stayed on for longer than 24 hours, Kinn is suspicious as shit and worried as hell. he's been keeping it under wraps, but Kim and Porsche trying to fly under the radar right now gives him a good opportunity to investigate. and lo and behold, Kim appears to have made two new friends, one of whom keeps making him blush and the other who's the prettiest man Kinn's ever seen. Kinn is absolutely not just leaving Kim, he wants to know everything 👀

Kinn, Porsche, Kim, and Chay get snatched ala ep5

why are they kidnapped? unimportant! we do not question kidnapping plots in this household. Kinn, Porsche, Kim, and Chay all escape into the jungle but get separated. Kinn and Porsche have a journey not unlike ep6, except with more yelling, more bickering, and more trolling. Porsche's view of Kinn is colored by Kim not the guards here and then his main introduction is in the jungle not the compound, so he's charmed pretty quickly and judging himself for it every time Kinn falls back on his asshole training. Kinn's main introduction to Porsche is a caring guy who's also a troll and won't hesitate to punch him in the dick when he's being a jerk so...not too much changed there, actually. they are still handcuffed together.

Kim and Chay are having a nice time. bonding over music, trading stories about brothers, asking questions so that they can unravel Korn's 15 year long conspiracy--it's basically a scenic date. they are not handcuffed together because Kim carries three lockpick sets minimum at all times and was out of the handcuffs before they were even out of the truck. Kim and Chay are just holding hands, because Chay asked Kim to hold his hand, and Kim grabbed it saying it's the best way to ensure they aren't separated, and Chay responded "that's nice, but i asked because i want to hold your hand," and Kim blushed bright red. nerds.

the four of them reunite...eventually, idk when, but the first thing Chay does when he sees Porsche across the ravine is holler "DID YOU REALLY THINK KIM WAS PAYING YOU FOR SEX HIA" and Kinn's head snaps around so fast Kim and Porsche get secondhand whiplash.

Korn dies

how does this happen? unimportant! but he's dead before the fic ends.

[[ fics im not writing ]]

#kinnporsche #kimchay #kinn is full puppy eyes mode when he learns porsche saved kim #kim is EMBARRASSED #porsche approves of this older brother move #ask game: fics im not writing

[the-cookie-of-doom]

hmm here's a prompt -- and no pressure to do this one if you don't want to!

porsche enlisting kim's help to find a gift for kinn. that's what porsche tells kim, anyway (he just wants to get to know kim a little better).

Anything for you, my friend! I have clinical in like an hour so I'm not going to finish this, so here's part 1 of Five Things Porsche Learns About Kim (bc ofc this is going to be a whole Thing)

When Porsche puts his mind to something, nothing can stop him. He's stubborn that way. Him and Porchay wouldn't have survived if he wasn't. Life has been throwing cheap shots at Porsche for his entire life; he's learned to roll with the punches and come up swinging, grinning all the while.

All that to say, he gets what he wants. And right now, he's decided what he wants, is a relationship with his little brother's boyfriend. Because there's nothing Porsche is more stubborn about than family, and that's what they are, now, whether he likes it or not.

Kimhan Theerapanyakul is about to learn the hard way that the Kittisawats are a package deal.

The first thing Porsche learns about Kim is that he's a squirrely little bastard. He weasels his phone number out of Chay - after finding out that Kinn didn't have it saved in his own phone, which will be a conversation for later - but Kim doesn't any answer any of the flurry of phone calls and texts that Porsche hurls his own way. Apparently, according to Porchay, Kim has memorized all the numbers of everyone important enough to be worth his time, and doesn't bother with anyone else.

What if someone has to borrow a phone? Porsche had asked.

Sucks to be them, Chay replied, with a silly smile that might mean he's kidding, or it might mean he knows exactly how ridiculous Kim is being, but still somehow likes him anyway. Porsche would prefer the former but he's almost certain it's the latter, and he's trying to figure out exactly why Chay would like him so much.

Because as far as Porsche can tell? Kim is more akin to a feral cat than anything else. Keeps his distance, sullenly watches Porsche anytime they happen to be in the same room, looking away only to scan for the nearest exit - which he takes at the earliest opportunity - and Porsche is certain Kim has actually hissed at him once. Probably not.

Since Kim won't answer unknown numbers, Porsche is forced to stoop to his level. Kinn's phone is of course out of the question, which only leaves one other person, at least only one Porsche can easily access, guaranteed to have it.

He's holding a struggling Porchay in a headlock while the phone dials. It only rings once.

"Hello, love," Kim greets, his voice warm and syrupy and so, so fond that Porsche has to gag, just to see the way his brother flushes.

"I'm sorry, Kim!" Porchay shouts. He's still struggling, digging his hands into Porsche's sides. "I tried to stop him!"

"Porsche." And there it is, that flat tone Porsche is used to.

"Hi, Kim, how's it going?" he asks casually.

"Goodbye.

"Wait, wait, wait!" It's no use. The line is already dead. Porsche releases his brother with a groan, and doesn't fight it when Chay snatches back his phone. "Why does he have to be so difficult?"

"Kim doesn't like being cornered, hia," Chay scolds him. "If you just talked to him like a normal person-"

"He won't let me! He keeps running!"

"You're intimidating!" Porsche doesn't believe that for a second. If Kinn wasn't intimated by him, no way his murderous little brother way. "Maybe you're coming on too strong? He probably think you're gonna kill him for, y'know..."

"No, I don't know." Porsche side-eyes Chay, who's no longer making eye contact. "Do I need to kill him?"

"No!"

"Should I want to?"

"Hia, No!" Chay throws his hands up. "See! This is why he won't talk to you! You're embarrassing."

"Good. Also, I don't care. I want to talk to him, and unless he wants me to lock you in your room and forbit you from seeing each other for the rest of your life, he better cooperate."

Chay lets out a sigh like the weight of all the world is bearing down on him. "I'll talk to him," he mumbles, sullen.

#cookie writes #kimchay #kim theerapanyakul #porchay kittisawat #porsche kittisawat

[aeternallis]

Kim’s Redemption : A Rant

I think one of the things that I tend to question and kinda struggle with at times being a KP enjoyer is the fandom’s general tendency to soften certain aspects of Kim’s personality and his actions as a way of redeeming him, either due to the influence of Jeff Satur’s media personality and/or when he’s compared to Vegas and Kinn.

And before I say anything else, this is not a jab towards anyone in particular, it’s just me ranting about my favorite character, so you can go on about your day if you don’t wanna read what I gotta say. 😆

I think part of my struggle comes from the fact that since Kim barely has any scenes in the show that lasts longer than 2-3 mins, I’m also somewhat constricted from the few assumptions I can make in how I interpret him, especially when I’m writing fic (which I am doing atm). Which in and of itself isn’t totally a bad thing, at least I don’t think so; if anything, I think that makes it a lot more fun as a challenge.

For example, if you were to ask me how do I think Porsche would react to finding out Kim had used and manipulated his little brother, I honestly couldn’t tell you. Kim and Chay’s storyline was so cut off from everything else in the beginning that ngl, it was a bit of a whiplash once their narrative finally began to intersect with the main plot, lol I can't really see Porsche getting angry, if nothing else due to his ignorance of Kimchay's situation (which also imo, isn't really a bad thing), but I also don't know if I can see him being lenient towards Kim, because he's also overprotective of Chay.

So in the end, I just choose not to think about it, and work within that framework instead~

But anyway, I digress!

Jeff's media personality and its influence on how Kim is interpreted as a character, that one is pretty much unavoidable, since the two men share the same face and body. XD Some can differentiate between the two much more than others, some tend to meld them as a sort of hybrid and use Kim as the container of a Jeff-esque fantasy, and all in all, that sort of thing is entirely dependent on preference and said fantasy, yknow? So it's just one of those things that I tend to scroll past or move on.

What truly gets me so befuddled though is when Kim is compared to Vegas and Kinn, and between the three of them, somehow Kim is taken to be the least problematic of the three, in terms of how they treated their romantic interest. And I'm not really sure how that conclusion came about, lol. In fact, I even remember reading a meta on here somewhere saying something along the lines of, compared to Vegas and Kinn's actions towards Pete and Porsche respectively, what Kim did to Chay was somewhat lenient and doesn't warrant that much groveling.

And I agree with that, at least in regards to the technical details, because OP was right. Kim never blackmailed Chay, nor assaulted or threatened him; in regards to physical intimacy, Kim never touched Chay in a way that was non-consensual.

But be that as it may, that way of thinking comes from the audience's POV, not Chay as a character.

And it really doesn't, right?

Chay doesn't know--or at the very least, we have no confirmation he's aware--the extent of what Porsche suffered through during the beginnings of his relationship with Kinn; he knows they're together, but I highly doubt Porsche told Chay he was pretty much sexually assaulted that first time. He REALLY doesn't know what's involved in VegasPete's relationship, much less their BDSM proclivities. Lol XD

In other words, Chay's actions and feelings post break-up with Kim (as well as the subsequent reconciliation) are and would be entirely based on his own experience, as they should, not based on the assumption that, when compared to Porsche and Pete's experiences with their respective Theerapanyakul, he got off lightly.

I think personally, something that often tends to be forgotten when Kim is made a lot more soft uWu babygirl than (imo) he really is is the fact that what Chay went through emotionally is, in and of itself, also a form of trauma. Sure, Chay was never physically hurt by Kim, but I don't think the emotional damage Kim dealt him is something that should be taken just for granted either.

There's a reason why this boy spiraled right after that devastating break up, and why he cried out the way he did. So how you interpret and imagine what Chay's next course of action would be if/when forgiving Kim is entirely up to you, including how he would respond and deal with the emotional trauma of that break-up. That scenario would come about based on your own interpretation of the show, your own preferences, and frankly, your own beliefs and life experience. If you think Chay is the type that needs some groveling/begging from Kim in order to heal, go for it, that's completely valid; if you think he can get over it easily enough, that's valid too.

It goes without saying, but just in case~

I stand by what I said before that although Kim has not physically harmed Chay in the way Kinn and Vegas has with Porsche and Pete, he's just as capable of doing that as his brother and cousin. And honestly, that's what makes Kim and the rest of the characters such an awesome bunch to me; a character doesn't have to be morally good in order to be a good character, yknow? Besides, I think that's what makes all three love stories strong enough to stand on their own: these Theerapanyakul men can love fiercely, but they can and have hurt and manipulated the people they love just as fiercely.

The physical and emotional wounds Porsche, Porchay, and Pete have suffered in varying degrees is incomparable, because by doing that in the first place, the characters' agency in turn is taken away.

And don't get me wrong, if you genuinely see Kim as a soft, uWu babygirl because that's how you HC him, go for it and more power to you! XD But if you HC him as being soft, uWu babygirl because he never physically assaulted Chay when you compare his actions to the shit Vegas and Kinn did, well...more power to you too, although I imagine this rant probably feels like a personal attack. Sorry about that~

But for my own interpretation (and limitation I admit, as well as it not being my preference in general; Kim can be soft for Chay and his family, but otherwise, there's a reason Korn doesn't trust him and in the books, is secretly made the true heir), I guess the reason I'm not inclined to see Kim as having a lot of the softer edges fanon!Kim has to the point that it's made part of his overall personality, is because, for me, it almost feels like I would be trivializing Chay's emotional trauma, just so they can quickly get together again and share in the fluff and puff, yknow? Almost like trying to resist the urge to think, "in order for Chay to be able to handle Kim, you gotta soften him up a little bit."

Because then I would be doing a disservice to Chay's character, who imo is more than capable of handling Kim's problematic tendencies. This boy had no problem blocking Kim's ass and pulling away from him, he can handle himself~

And just so we're clear, I'm not saying those fans who do see Kim as a soft, uWu boy with stunted emotions is doing just that, not at all. Just that for me personally, that's kinda the mental block in my noggin. XD Besides that, I'm just a sucker for angst, man.

But meh, at the end of the day, to each their own, yknow? XD That's what makes fandom so much fun, you can pick and choose what you want to engage with.

As an artist / fic writer, I'm just grateful I can feed myself the food I want to see~ Hehe!

#kimchay #meta #kinnporsche #rant post #kpts meta

[cornyonmains]

You know, I think it's a shame that in light of Build stepping down from BOC, people are missing the silver lining that Daemi will no longer have any further association with KP.

Sure, an actor a lot of people liked is gone. But so are two authors who dead-ass dedicated an entire chapter to Kinn violently tearing Porsche's asshole open, and built Vegas and Pete's entire relationship on an assault that makes what went down in the series look like a middle aged married couple awkwardly trying to roleplay a scene from the edited for network TV version of 50 Shades of Grey.

I'd also ask that people remember Thailand is very much a part of southeast Asia that's making a real effort to modernize, and move away from some of the toxic conservative and frankly backwards attitudes that can be prevalent in this region. BOC is doing a lot of good in this regard, because the fact yaoi exists, and that the industry uses these tropes speaks to an interpretation of queer culture built on viewing and translating it through a socially conservative lens. It's Asian society going 'these couples can't possibly be like us, so they must be like this' and then just sexing those tropes up to 10. BOC is out here doing the lord's work introducing all these thirsty women in their early 20's to masc for masc, but I digress.

I think people would be a lot happier if they went into BL prepared for growing pains like this. Actors were openly homophobic until just a few short years ago. A lot of them got into BL for easy money or to break into the industry, and weaponized homophobia to protect their reputations and make sure they could get work outside the BL industry. There really wasn't much of a bar for who studios were willing to sign. People should be glad the industry has started to weed this behavior out and grow up. It's a good thing. I'm bummed out about what happened to Build, I liked him, but I'm excited for the social turn Thailand is taking. Because I find it hard to believe Thai fans would have even given a fuck ten years ago. Just look how Apo was treated.

#kinnporsche #build jakapan #apo nattawin #mile phakphum #thai bl #kinnporsche the series #vegaspete #boc #be on cloud

[agendratum]

here's a little thing i wrote on subway rides after my night shifts inspired by the tags on this post and by this post.

"did you ever..." porsche trailed off without finishing his words.

pete looked up at him, confused. they were taking a break together after one of the jobs went less than smoothly. smoking quietly, resemblance of comfort in each other's presence. that wasn't the kind of comfort, if that could be an applicable word here, pete got around vegas in these situations, but it was still nice. besides, today vegas wasn't with them. pete thought it might have been a part of the problem.

porsche exhaled a puff of smoke.

"i mean you and vegas are kinda alike in these ways, right? but it must have started before him. remember that first job i followed you to? you were really calm about the whole thing back then. it was different, right? i mean, he was just some guy after all.. and i know kinn doesn't stomach these things quite like that too so-"

pete was desperately trying to follow porsche's extremely awkward train of thought. the straight-forward guy that he usually was, sometimes he really could not get to the point. coincidentally most of these times were related to "the ways pete and vegas were kinda alike".

"porsche, what the fuck are you talking about?"

pete tapped the ash off his cigarette. pete wasn't sure he wanted to answer whatever porsche was trying to ask.

"sorry, you know how i get when we have to do this shit. feels weird."

"still not used to it."

that pete could understand. porsche was porsche, and porsche wasn't of this world and sometimes pete wished back then, before everything had gone too far, given the chance, porsche would have agreed to leave. it would have been better for porsche, he knew. but pete tried not to linger too long on all the could have beens.

"yeah..." porsche laughed awkwardly. "just one more reason for vegas to hate me even more for taking this place."

pete frowned, pursing his lips.

"are you trying to tell me you care about vegas' approval in any of this?"

porsche huffed.

"no, no, that's not what i mean. it's just- it's not like he didn't know what he was doing. pete, you also- i think you also knew what you were doing."

pete was getting more confused and concerned by the second.

"what i'm trying to say is - did you ever got answers out of anyone in that way. not the brutal kind of way, the methodical one."

ah. here it is.

"like the way vegas did it?" he prompted, as calm as ever. took another long drag.

he knew porsche was uncomfortable. pete? wasn't really feeling either way. he could feel the skin tight around his body. he blinked, he knew how to do that.

"not quite like vegas."

he knew how his fingers were supposed to hold the cigarette so it looked natural. so no one could tell he had to move them manually. how to take another drag like other people did it. let the smoke out of the body, aware of how it moves inside of it. the body was a simple thing to control.

"and you're right, kinn didn't really stomach it that well."

pete really didn't feel much about the whole thing. he just had to move his eyelids cause his eyes, just like every other person's eyes, needed moisture. shift his legs, cause people get tired sitting in the same position. natural. like every other human did. pete just really didn't want to make porsche upset.

he wished vegas was with them tonight. if he was there, they wouldn't have been having this conversation. if he was there, pete wouldn't have to hold his skin so tightly around himself. they would have already been home by this time probably. taking it off.

he indeed wasn't quite like vegas when it came down to it. vegas in his futile attempts to make himself feel better about his miserable existence tried turning torture into an art form. everything was a performance, so was taking apart someone's body till they didn't have it in them to refuse him any longer. and then he would go on for some more. everything he did had to be perfect, so the art had to be complete. pete in his futile attempts to not care about turning his existence into less than human wrote everything off as his job description. which meant minimum effort for maximum results. where he just had to be efficient, vegas, if he had to he honest, and he tried to be when it came to everything vegas, was elegant. watching him pete could almost hear music.

he of course was not going to tell porsche about the music. after all, he didn't want to make porsche upset.

"a couple of times."

not like he actually counted.

"shit..."

porsche was honest in his reactions. pete envied him sometimes.

his skin was getting a bit too tight for the bones now. he wanted to drop his cigarette, but couldn't. wouldn't know where to put his hands then, what to do with fingers.

easier when the fingers are somebody else's. don't have to think too much. minimum efforts - maximum results.

not what porsche wanted to hear.

"it was just work, porsche. don't overthink it."

that was what made porsche look at him finally, with one of these stares of his that made pete want to crawl away. the side of porsche that he was not letting pete see glancing at the side of pete he was not letting porsche see. not recognition, but something just a bit too knowing. a reminder that pete willingly let porsche see a bit too much and there was no going back from it.

not that he wanted to go back. it was nice, the familiar feeling porsche gave him. it was nicer on the better days. still, for a second, pete imagined the world in which porsche never showed up in the doorway of his room. would have been pretty fucking lonely, he thought.

so pete held porsche's gaze. smiled with one corner of his mouth.

"i'm serious. i never did more than i had to. as simple as that."

porsche nodded, glancing intently at pete for a moment longer before throwing his head back and taking another drag.

actually there was one time pete did more than he had to. only once. but that was before theerapanyakuls entered his life. porsche didn't need to know about that time.

"sorry. feels kinda stupid worrying about this shit when i'm already so far in."

pete chuckled. his skin was tingling. stupid.

"you aren't stupid. well, sometimes you're, but-"

"pete!"

porsche kicked his leg, putting on a highly offended look. pete smiled, this time the smile reaching his eyes.

if porsche asked, pete would probably help him with it. he would do the dirtier of work for him, if only cause porsche wouldn't be good at it, not as good as pete would be anyway.

and maybe to not mess any further with already pretty muddy waters that was the section of pete's brain responsible for this kind of dirty work. he didn't want to add porsche to the mix. there was only one person pete wanted to keep in close proximity of the idea of cutting someone's flesh open. carving something hidden away, tucked deep inside. he would help porsche gladly, if only for the sake of keeping it that way.

#this isn't really anything #just food for thought born out of food for thought #i'm specifying that this was written during post night shifts rides #cause i'm usually already mentally checked out during these rides #i'm mentally checked out rn as well as i finally decided to proofread it after a week #anyway tags #pete #porsche #vegaspete #peteporsche #kinnporsche #mt #fics

[wildelydawn]

KP Recfest List: Big Centric/BigChan Edition.

Alright friends, I'm going to use all my brave/courage stats to compose this list of Big-Centric and BigChan fic recs for @kprecfest. This list is definitely not complete, and I'm always looking for more BigChan fics or fics that center around Big as a character, so please feel free to rec your own!

In no particular order:

Student Paper Award by clandestinegardenias

Rating: E Pairing: Big/Chan Status: Completed Summary: "Chan has no doubt that Big sobs into his pillow every time Kinn hands him back a paper covered in red ink. That only makes Chan want him more." Why you should read this: Okay, firstly, I'm totally biased here. As someone who has pined after a professor throughout graduate school, I'm almost embarrassed with how much I related to Big here. Almost is the key word here because that's exactly why this story is so brilliant. Clandestinegardenias has brought my KinnPorsche university!AU dreams to life with just one fic. The pining Big has for Kinn is so well done, and how Chan begins to develop feelings toward Big through helping him with his paper is just *chef's kiss.* All the build up and all the angsty moments cultivate into a very explosive and satisfying ending. On top of this, the little details about research, about the tension in academics, the "and they're sharing offices!" addition. My heart! This fic and every part of it is all so well done that I am on my way to apply to another degree. (Jk... unless... 👀) Favorite line: "Later, they share a pizza and toast each other with bottles of Coke, and Chan tells himself it’s enough."

So lovers say by littlerietveld

Rating: E Pairing: Big/Chan Status: Ongoing (5/?) Summary: "big was never actually in love with kinn, everyone just thinks he is, so chan pretends to date him to put a stop to the rumours. feelings ensue." Why you should read this: Alright. I confess. I love fake dating as a trope, especially when one of the characters has power over another. This story takes this classic and beloved idea and adds a very real twist to it: that maybe everyone knew that Big is/was infatuated with Kinn. Big suffers for it, and the author does a really wonderful job with giving us how Big endures some of that gossip and judgement by detailing Big's workouts and his internal dialogue. Then, in steps Chan, who's facing his own budding feelings after proposing the fake dating. The setting and dialogue in this story make my heart giddy and make me want to throw my pillow. Favorite line: "'Give me a hickey,' Big says in a rush, unable to say anything else, unable to explain what he’s feeling, just needing something to prove his and Chan’s relationship; to show everyone that he is not in love with Kinn; to get them to stop believing this godforsaken rumour."

This Symphony is a Dance Between Us by The_Old_Astronomer

Rating: G Pairing: Big/Chan Status: Ongoing (1/2) Summary: "While recovering from getting shot, Chan leaves the medical wing for a walk and a much needed cigarette. He's out on a balcony, enjoying the night air, when he hears music nearby. Feeling drawn to it, he heads in the direction of the melody to find out who's playing. It's not who he expected at all." Why you should read this: Injured Chan?? Big being a pianist??? Is that not enough to convince you? If not, let Astro's beautiful writing be the reason why you join her BigChan agenda because she's doing a damn good job making it happen. First, I love the fact that Chan is injured in this fic. Seeing the head of the body guards at his most vulnerable is galaxy brain thinking on Astro's part. Second, the set up is actually so exquisitely simple but is so wonderfully developed. At the core of this story is Chan being drawn to beautiful music and then asking Big to continue playing. But Astro takes this and so many emotional and beautiful details to it. What can I say? I love a story that takes seemingly small moments and makes them utterly breathtaking. Astro's written another fantastic BigChan fic, so check that out too. Favorite line: "But hope is a tenacious thing. It’s resilient, like a tree; once the roots are entwined with the earth and the branches start growing, it can be hard to cut down. So despite Chan's intensely pragmatic nature, he waits and he hopes."

Drowning Like a Stone by Nyxelestia

Rating: T Pairing: Big & Chay, KimChay Status: Ongoing (7/?) Summary: "Despite Porsche's desperation and Kim's manipulation, Chay was hit hard by the events of Season 1. Five outside perspectives on Chay grappling with the aftermath of the mafia madness." Why you should read this: I went into this fic knowing that Nyxelestia would bring her phenomenal writing and character analysis into the KimChay fandom and I stayed because of that, but now I am absolutely rooted and emotionally invested because of how she develops the relationship between Big & Chay (and quite frankly, I'm adoring these chapters on them and wouldn't mind another 10 or 100 of them.) Nyxelestia gives a lot of depth to Big and also makes him absolutely hilarious. The idea of Big taking Chay under his wing, hearing him out, giving him lessons on the mafia life and more, is something so brilliant but also incredibly poignant because while Chay was betrayed by Kim, Big was betrayed by Ken, and to put these characters together!!! I just!! I am at a loss. After reading Chapter Five, I leaned back in my chair and whispered, "Oh fuck." Nyxelestia explores the implications of both of these betrayals with such great care, and for that, I am blown away. Favorite line: "In the quiet of the small lounge, Big wondered if his breathing sounded as loud to them as it did to him. Once upon a time, he’d wished someone would say those words to him, he’d dreamed of Kinn saying that to him. But now that it actually happened, Big felt…nothing." Runner up favorite line: "What the fuck did ‘stanned’ mean?"

push and pull by Martynax

Rating: E Pairing: Big/Kinn/Porsche, KinnPorsche Status: Completed Summary: "Look,” Big says, finding enough strength in his body to do this. “You don’t have to worry about me trying anything. You don’t have to tell me that Kinn is yours.” He assumes that that’s what Porsche is trying to do. “I know my place." ... Why you should read this: When this fic first came out, I was biting my fist the entire time. In case you didn't know, Martnax writes some top tier smut for the KinnPorsche fandom and Christ on a pogo stick, did they deliver that and more: with a threesome. Please. But before I get to how incredibly hot their writing is, I do need to point out that Martynax built such a painful and believable background and emotional state for post-canon Big in this story; the details about Big's mother, how he joined the bodyguards, his reluctance to talk to Porsche about his actions/feelings. But it's well balanced with the development of his new relationship with Kinn and Porsche. I, for one, could not stop smiling when Kinn and Porsche crash Big's movie night; the description of Porsche with his head in Big's lap is so sweet even though I know my mans is having a crisis. The ending to this fic is wonderful, emotional, and smutty: everything I would want in a KinnPorscheBig fic. Still hoping for a sequel. Favorite line: "The consequences could be too much. But he also understands that if he doesn’t at least try, he won’t ever forgive himself. He’s already poured his soul out to them, handing them his heart shouldn’t be that difficult."

All Along you were Blooming by mortimerlatrice & nuwildcat

Rating: E Pairing: Big/Tay, KinnPorsche Status: Ongoing (2/3) Summary: "Finding a second chance at love isn't something either of them thought was in the cards. Noticing that there was someone in front of you all along, takes something changing to open your eyes." ... Why you should read this: I don't even know where to begin with this one. I only read it for the first time a few week or so ago, and I've already revisited it a dozen times, not just because of the beautiful writing but also because of the jawdropping art. But let's start with the writing first; Tay is given so much voice and life in this story. If you told me his familial details, career, and background from this story are all canon, I would believe you, 100%. That's now much care nuwildcat puts into Tay's development, and you can expect that same amount of care and cultivation in all other aspects of this fic. For example, the cocktails. I know nothing about alcohol, but the descriptions of each drink were mouthwatering and so vivid. Pair this with Tay and Kinn being business associates! Incredible. But they're not the only dynamic duo; nuwildcat has given us a wonderful friendship between Porsche and Big: it begins with reluctance, but by the end of Chapter Two, we see Big, in all his fierce loyalty. Mind you, nuwildcat is writing this all while describing how Big falls out of love with Kinn and begins to fall for Tay. And if being graced with wonderful writing isn't enough, mortimerlace knocks you out with stunning art of both characters. There is something really captivating in mortimer's use of purples and I am loving it. The variants used in the first picture of Tay in Chapter One are exquisite. The details in the flowers are so well thought of. Mortimer's use of detail and line work really shine when it comes to each of the outfits, particularly Tay's lace bodice. However, my favorites have to be from Chapter Two; maybe it's because I'm biased, but something about these portraits of Big just made me blush; he looks that good. All in all, if you want a double whammy of fine art and writing, this is your fic. Favorite line: "...the sincerity in Big’s voice hits him like the recoil of a gun. Tay can’t remember the last compliment he got from Time that didn’t double as a come-on. The ache of that thought is an open wound he can’t help but press on. 'You know, when you say things like that Big, I actually believe them.'" Favorite art piece: Chapter Two's second picture of Big in his suit.

Gonna Fade You Like That Rush by giraffeter

Rating: E Pairing: Tay/Time/Big Status: Completed Summary: "Tay and Time run into Big on his night off. Kinn may not want to play with his own toys, but he's never told them they couldn't help themselves." Why you should read this: Listen. Big has been going through it. I think he deserves to have fun, and giraffeter delivers on that. Was I expecting that fun to come in the form of quick wit, humor, and Tay and Time convincing Big to follow them home? Absolutely not, but holy shit, am I here for it. Because girafetter's right; if Kinn won't have fun with his bodyguards, then maybe Tay and Time should. I love the set up in this fic; Big's at a bar and Tay and Time pounce as soon as they lay eyes on him. I love Big's subtle discomfort while being in a bar and how he's a bit unsure of how to place himself among Time and Tay. since they are Kinn's friends. And to put all of this in a post-Tawan background really amplifies that feeling. I'm obsessed with how flirty and forward Tay is here too, how he demands to be in charge. Not to mention the internal thoughts Tay has throughout the story. All of this is compounded by very hot smut. Big fans are truly blessed and thankful. Favorite line: "He has no idea how long it takes them to drive to Tay and Time's place. He's focused on controlling his breathing, on not shivering apart or coming in his underwear while they touch him in an idle, almost desultory way. Occasionally they exchange a heated look across his body, one that lets Big know that he is completely, totally (and in the best way possible) fucked."

Alright! That's all I've got for you, Big. For now, at least. I hope these lovely authors/creators and the fandom continue to write about you, my favorite bodyguard, the one with the most pure heart. 🖤

#kprecfest #KinnPorsche #Big #Big KP #BigChan #kp fanfic #fic rec #god this is so long and I am so sorry #I don't usually write comments on fics because I get nervous so I hope this makes up for it #clandestinegardenias #littlerietveld #The_Old_Astronomer #Nyxelestia #Martynax #mortimerlatrice #nuwildcat #giraffeter #Not sure who is on tumblr but!!! #personal #dawn watches KP #apologies for any spelling errors

[bestiesincrime]

Both Kinn and Porsche know that Korn is lying - "I'm always here for you", a meta™

Korn thinks he's won but he has just orchestrated his own downfall. Take this line:

It's a weird thing to say at the moment. It does not relate in any way to the conversation taking place, and even putting it in the context of Kinn trying to calm Porsche down, more direct forms of reassurance would have worked better, such as "I love you" or anything to further convince Porsche that Korn is telling the truth. Still, Kinn chooses these exact words, so he was either:

knowingly manipulating Porsche because, guilty or not, Korn is just too powerful for Porsche to take on on his own, even holding him at gunpoint. But again, were this the case, there are more effective ways for Kinn to persuade him.

codespeaking with Porsche the only way he can in front of his father, by referring to something only the two of them know, that is to say, their conversation in ep 13, when Kinn promised Porsche he would always be there to help him find the answers he seeks. I think this is what is going on here.

After all the back and forth between Korn's and Gun's versions, plus the way his father killed Gun before he was done speaking, Kinn can't not be aware of how just how deep Korn's manipulations run, but he also knows he can't just kill his father with zero repercussions without taking his power first (see: mafia council being reluctant to accept Kinn as Korn's temporary stand-in).

Kinn is trying to make Porsche see all this the best way he can: by recalling their last honest conversation before sh*t hit the fan, simultaneously answering Porsche's vow with one of his own. "I am on YOUR side" says Porsche, "I'm always here for YOU" Kinn says back, meaning I know there is something going on and I will look for answers for you just like I promised, we are on each other's side and we know it, but now it's not the time.

And I just LOVE that most of the converstion is taking place in silence, through an exchange of looks.

Right after Porsche asks/shouts "Where is the truth?" Kinn answers him by looking at him. Apo and Mile do a great job in showing us that a whole converstion is taking place between them, one only they are privy to.

I love Porsche's body language in this scene. He's trembling and uncertain, and you can see him frowning in confusion as Kinn steps in front of his father. "Don't you see he's lying? Aren't you on my side?" he seems to say, and then his expression slowly relaxes as he understands what Kinn is trying to tell him.

The show told us over and over again (more or less expicitly, depending on the case) that the central issue of their relationship is trust, that they need to learn and trust one another, and that it is in that trust that their strength lies.

With this exchange, the narrative gets to the final solution to this issue: Kinn and Porsche are putting complete and implicit trust in each other, and each other only, against the world. And they're the only ones to know this, too.

#kinnporsche #kinn theerapanyakul #porsche kittisawasd #apo nattawin #mile phakphum #meta #kinnporsche meta #kinnporsche ep 14 #kinnporsche finale #episode 14 #analysis #a case study in kinnporsche #a case study in apo's microexpressions #thanks for coming to my ted talk #pachara kittisawasd #anakinn theerapanyakul #nattawin wattanagitiphat #phakphum romsaithong #thai drama #thai series #kinnporsche the series #just my thoughts #i am SO NORMAL about this show #head not empty but at what cost #my post #kinnporsche spoilers #kinnporsche season 2 whennnn #i need to be validated on my cleverness

[teenjiism]

hi! as a fellow vp enjoyer i'm confused about something and thought i'd ask u. before p escapes he says he has no feelings but 2 min later he's crying and says he does? was he quoting vegas the first time? because he treated him like an emotionless pet? maybe it's the translation but i didn't really get what pete meant to say here

hi!!

okay, so i think the simple answer is yes, it’s because vegas treated him as a pet, but the longer answer is — it’s not just vegas.

on the surface, pete is a very loved person. he is valued for his loyalty by the main family, he is one of kinn’s most trusted people, he is porsche’s best friend, tankhun loves him to bits and everybody respects him. and while this is all factually true, the issue is, it’s not necessarily pete they value so much; it’s either pete, the loyal bodyguard, pete, the funny guy, pete, a one-dimensional person. there are very few people who see the depths of him despite truly loving him. tankhun loves him so much, yes, but there is still a power imbalance between them, as pete is his bodyguard and he has to jump to do everything tankhun wants.

seemingly nobody ever put in enough work to get to know pete. he is constantly regarded as someone’s something, a piece of their puzzle and not his own masterpiece. pete keeps giving and giving, doing everything for people because that’s who he is. he’s loving, loyal, empathetic, understanding, helpful.

and that’s exactly what happened with vegas. vegas got attached to pete after he saw what pete could offer him. now don’t get me wrong, if anyone, vegas saw through pete’s mask. but caught up in the thrill of having someone see him and not think of him as a monster, of someone offering him affection, he didn’t think to treat pete as his own person. now this, it’s for several reasons, i think. on the one hand, vegas was terrified of losing pete, the one person who accepts him and even likes him, despite everything. he was afraid that if he gave pete the freedom, he wouldn’t choose vegas. and this isn’t because he doesn’t trust pete, it’s because he despises himself so much and has severe abandonment issues. however, on the other hand, i think vegas was never taught how to love. he was barely shown love in his life, it’s no surprise he doesn’t know how to express it to pete amidst the clusterfuck of trauma they’re both going through. it’s not that vegas wouldn’t love pete if he knew him, he absolutely would and will and maybe already does, it’s simply that he doesn’t know him enough yet. he didn’t take the time nor the opportunities to get to know pete.

however, pete’s been putting in the work. he’d been playing therapist, funny guy, nice and caring guy, loyal guy for so long, and was never allowed or given the chance to have his own feelings, always preoccupied with someone else’s. he’s exhausted, he’s tired and his self loathing is on par with vegas’. he is tired of being someone’s something. he is more than empathy, he is more than what he can offer someone and he’s exhausted of being treated as a vessel because as he said — he’s human and he has feelings. he thought vegas would be different but then he kept him chained up, kept him as a prisoner still. he just wants escape from this, in any way shape or form. he wants relief and to be seen.

#vegaspete #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #pete #pete saengtham #pete phongsakorn #kinnporsche pete #vegas theerapanyakul #hope this makes sense whfjsk

[lutawolf]

When "I'm Hungry and I love you" Mean the Same Thing <D/s>

When Vegas and Pete meet again after the club, Pete is pissed. Vegas is once again blindly following daddy, and he is fucking with the people Pete cares about. They stand at an impasse with guns pointed at each other but then Vegas lowers his. Pete is slowly lowering his but then others comes along and he shots Vegas to save him. That isn't going to be the end of it though because Pete is pissed. Vegas has come to his home and made war on the ones he loves.

Vegas "I'm sorry for everything" Pete does not care because he isn't still mad about that. Pete forgave Vegas at the bar; at that time, he just couldn't live with him. He couldn't live with Vegas and be a nobody. A pet with no name. No, Pete is mad about Vegas coming and fucking shooting at his boss and friends. He is rightously made and he is letting Vegas have it.

He is honestly shocked when Vegas says "If I die today, could it be you who kills me" he doesn't ask Pete to make it quick. He'll take whatever Pete gives him. He just wants to die by his hands. Pete "what the fuck are you talking about?" because he had every intention of knocking him out, not killing him. Vegas doesn't care because if he is going to die, he is good with it being like this. " I love you Pete" then proceeds to give him a really sexy bloody kiss. Pete is so stunned that Vegas is able to gently push him away and chase after Kinn.

Pete slowly rises and chases after Vegas. He isn't running to protect his family now. No, Vegas said the words love and Pete is chasing him. When he reaches him, he is immediately concerned for Vegas. He isn't looking at Korn who has risen from the dead. He isn't paying attention to boss and friends, it's on Vegas with softness and when Vegas points the gun at Korn, He's thinking he is about to have to shoot another shoulder. When the other guards show up, he moves into a more prominent position blocking shots, but he does have his gun on Vegas' shoulder.

Vegas leaves, not waiting on Pete but Pete does not hesitate to follow. He is just taking enough time to resign. All Pete Needed Was to Know Vegas Loved Him!! He will follow Vegas to hell now that he knows that. You guys really think that kind of love happened in a week? Half of which was torture. I'm about to prove it.

Pete resigns and says these very telling words "But I cannot betray my own feelings anymore" mother fucker been in love for a while. He just didn't plan on Vegas returning them. Now that he knows he does, he is ready to descend into hell with him. Why would he say betray his own feelings anymore when it's only been a couple days? And honestly, he was angry enough at the bar that we know he felt justified in walking. No, these words are something you say when you've had feelings over time. Then if that still doesn't convince you, what about Korn. Korn is not surprised. He says, "go take care of him." He honestly has no way of knowing about Vegas and Pete, but he would know about Pete's feelings as Arm did. Which is clear in Episode 7. So, Korn knows and gives his best.

Pete catches up to Vegas and he is trying to kill himself. It appears as if Vegas has a death wish but these guys live in a world in which death is a very real possibility. There is death wish and fatalism. I mean fatalistic suicide is real thing but holds differently than normal suicide. Think of a Samera who would cut of their own heads when they lost. That is fatalistic suicide, it is a cultural thing. Which mafia culture is a thing. Vegas has lost everything from his father, his standing, his way of earning his own keep, and he thinks Pete.

Anyway, Pete catches up with Vegas and tells him to stop. Vegas immediately does. Then notice how he is trying to explain it to Pete. He is trying to tell him he has nothing. Then Pete says, "I'm here, Vegas, I'm here" He is trying to explain to Vegas that he chooses him but "why did you follow me Pete, I've got nothing left" Vegas still doesn't understand. Pete rushes to grab him and Vegas asks him to let go but Pete won't. We then have a parallel of them going down like they did at the bar. At the time Vegas was saying that he could provide Pete with care and comfort, now it's a reversal.

"Why did you follow me, Pete?" He shakes Pete off as he stands and once again reminds him that he has nothing left. Pete has helped him before and left so he isn't catching on that Pete is coming with him. "Would you stop saying you have nothing left, I'm right here. And don't turn your back on me like this. Because I'm hungry"

Now this is important. You can see Vegas literally pause, turn a little towards Pete and soften. Food is their love language. Vegas knows that Pete attributes food with care because of his grandmother. That's why Vegas prior to their relationship often offered and provided Pete with food. Bread, pork, asking if he was hungry, then making food, and onward. Food is their love language, just as it is within one of my D/s relationships.

Gif credit to @liyazaki

"Are you very hungry? Can someone else take you to eat?" Am I really who you want? Who you choose? Wouldn't someone else care for you better? "You dare push me away? You dare push me away Vegas?" "Then why the hell tell me you want to be with me?"

"I'm your pet aren't I and I am hungry now. And you walked out. So, I had to come find my owner" As I've said a million times. Pete is more than happy to be submissive to Vegas. He showed Vegas submission even before captivity. Then when their relationship developed, he easily entrusted Vegas with it again. However, before he drew the line at being a pet. Because he didn't want to be dehumanized to Vegas, he wants Vegas to see him and value him. Once he knew that Vegas loves him, it becomes a game changer. Now he is calling himself a pet. Doing whatever is necessary because he loves Vegas that much. Knowing that Vegas returns those feelings, only strengthens that more. However, I also need you to take a moment and realize we are once again paralleling episode 13. Making something ugly, that of something consensual and beautiful. Pete is completely giving himself to Vegas.

#kinnporsche the series #kinnporsche #kinnporsche vegas #vegaspete #kinnporsche luta #luta opinions #coconuts mafia #luta talks vegaspete

[deliciouswastelandgoddess]

Kinnporsche and Safe-Keeping Fans' Expectations - The Genius of Kinnporsche's Plot Twists

Also read:

The Genius of Kinnporsche's Intimacy

The Genius of Kinnporsche's Wardrobe

The Genius of Kinnporsche's Humour

I'll be the first to point out plot holes in this show but I absolutely love the way they have been doing plot twists so far - well we are already at episode 14 so there isn't much else left to draw my conclusions now.

Calling them plot twists feels almost like an exaggeration because of how organic they are, I have never seen them done like this before. Despite the camp and some ridiculously unrealistic world building, these twists feel exactly like real life. Like they're confusing but also sort of make sense? Like they are so wild nobody could've predicted them but it's also so inline with the character that it's not jarring - a soft plot twist, if you will.

A real life example of this would be (and desis do back me up here) Priyanka Chopra getting married to Nick Jonas like- NOBODY could have predicted that but it's organic, it's real life, that's how the world works. Like, I am hoping this is making sense because I'm at loss of words now.

Now the plot twist that made me think of this entire meta is Episode 13, when Porsche decided to tag team with Vegas while Vegas decided to help Porsche because he's fed up of the adults and because he wants a way to reach out to Pete.

Not the brotp I asked for but definitely the brotp I needed.

Anyway, this had me thinking - this is what they have been doing it with us the entire time. Some of the plotlines are cliched AF but most of them really blindside you. Like I see so many people trying to predict what's gonna happen in the next episode and they are all wrong 99/100 times lol. They have made clowns of the audience but WITHOUT punishing us for our expectations (unlike some other western showrunners like Game of Thrones I am sorry for always making this comparison). KP's showrunners have subverted our expectations by giving us things that were even better than what we could have imagined.

Take the bathroom scene for example, it came out of nowhere, that was not at all how I imagined that scene would go, it was absolutely beyond my tiny tiny western media fed brain. It was a plot twist!! It was shocking!! I had to pick up my jaw from the floor when it aired!! I couldn't think of anything else for a month!! We all lost our minds over it!! It was intentional!! I want to have this scene framed and displayed in my house!! My life is divided between before I saw this scene and after!! This scene fundamentally changed my perception of humanity and sexuality!! I don't know what else to say here - it was earth shattering!!

You know what else was a plot twist?! THEIR FIRST KISS BY THE PIER!! I did not see it coming. I was only expecting flirting and a general romantic set-up, I was expecting Kinn to tsundere his way into figuring Porsche out but my man straight up went for a kiss right then and there!! And now it seems like such a perfect, organic thing, like we can't even imagine it any other way but when it happened you bet your little ass I was pleasantly blindsided.

Go to episode 4, their first time having sex with each other was also a plot twist! I was only expecting Porsche to ask Kinn about his feelings, tease him, kiss him maybe, etc but again!! They just- went for it?? Like?? I remember everyone losing their collective minds over it in the best way possible??

And then we transition right into episode 5 where again!! Plot twist!! Porsche is not happy the morning after and this was hard to watch ngl but they couldn't have been more careful and gentle in their handling of the situation.

The resolution of this episode was also, one of my favorites in the entire show with Kinn coming to Porsche's house and apologizing and asking him to come back home. This wasn't the plot twist though. The real plot twist of episode 5 was that Kinn isn't a badass Crime lord, Kinn is a clown.

Clown!Kinn appeared in episode 5, installed himself into our hearts in episode 6 and never left.

Which takes me to the most plot twisty episode of the season: the jungle escape - just littered with minor plot twists throughout. WHAT DO YOU MEAN KINN KNEW HOW TO OPEN THE HANDCUFFS? WHAT DO MEAN HE WILL TELL EVERYONE PORSCHE DIED IN THE FOREST?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE LIKES TO SEE PORSCHE HAPPY?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN PORSCHE FORGAVE HIM A LONG TIME AGO?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN KINN IS INTO OLD SONGS?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN???????

I could write a dissertation just about the beats of their cave conversation and how well they managed to convey Porsche's journey into falling in love with Kinn (who was already in love with Porsche by this time)

Another plot twist they had was Kinn straight up announcing that he loves Porsche in front of everyone - again, something I don't think anyone saw coming but that's how things work out in real life, don't they?? There isn't a dramatic reveal to these things they are just revealed. NOBODY could have seen that coming and if you did I congratulate you on having a large brain.

The hedgehog (RIP) being the plot driver to push the Vegaspete agenda was not on my bingo card that's for sure. The plot twist?? That Vegas is a cry baby and a hedgehog dad and Pete can't leave a pathetic man alone. Everyone thought they'd be the sexy couple but nah nah nah it's psych time you hoes, they are the pathetic couple.

Psych again! Because they are BOTH pathetic and sexy! Vegaspete plot twist number 2: Pete handing the rope to Vegas.

WHO???? THE FUCK???? came up with that??!! I want to know their names so I can erect a shrine in the honor of their brains. I don't even remember what I was expecting but I'm sure this wasn't it. PLOT. TWIST.

Psych again!! Pete is actually traumatized by the whole experience and it's so painful to watch you will want to die but also it's feeding us emotionally in way we never could have imagined!! (More deep dive into this in my post about Dehumanizing Pete here)

It's the stuff of the best fan-fiction but making it 100 times better without following any of the usual tropes. It's insane how big brained they have been and how much they really want to make the audiences happy. And that's it. That's the Genius of Kinnporsche's Plot Twists - they want to make the audiences happy. It's so simple.

#the way i haven't even mentioned kinn showing up at yok's bar in ep3 #or porsche calling kinn constantly in ep7 #or porsche dropping the l-word in episode 8 just like that #or kinn and Porsche going to the temple together #or Vegas showing up at the pool to serande (manipulate) Porsche #i had a 10 gif limit what was i supposed to do #kinnporsche #kinnporche the series #kinnporsche meta #vegaspete

[snickerdoodlles]

ellebeesknees replied to your post "choose violence ask game except its just me complaining about fic tropes..."

☕☕☕.

ooooh three bitchy opinions 👀 okay so, not really a trope but:

authors who are snide towards canon

this one is kinda hard for me to describe, but you know those fics that have a line that Makes A Statement about something in canon and the tone of it is just bitchy? or just any sort of vibe where the author clearly thinks they're Much Better than the actual show writer? sighs.

we've all had that phase in fandom where we hate read/watch something and then bitch about it online but my god am i glad to be over that bullshit. if you don't like it here, you don't have to be here! there's nothing making you stay! I've noticed the trend that if the author's a snide cunt about canon, they're inevitably going to be a snide cunt about some canon thing i do like, and i don't need that in my life. you can disagree with/change canon choices in a way that doesn't automatically put down anyone who does like what canon did, and you can't do that if you're going to be smug and superior about what you do or what you don't like. canon is a sandbox and if you're not here to have fun, please go to a different sandbox where you will have fun, it'll be much nicer for everyone.

spite fic

similarly: i have negative patience for spite fic. what's the fucking point of spite fic? if you only participate in spaces you don't like, you're never going to find the stuff you like or convince anyone in those spaces to change their minds, you're just going to piss everyone off as you trample on their toes. i'm a little steamed thinking about this because of the debacle of people trying to start fights in tags, but overall its just so childish and exhausting. again: why are you here if you aren't having fun!!

like i said above, there's a way to...hmm, dance? with stuff you don't like that still comes from a place of love. like, personally! i do not like Macau & Chay friendship! which is a different post, but fandom largely likes to smash the two of them together for some reason and i Don't Get It. so i avoid that tag, but i wrote interior design with the sort of playfully-antagonistic dynamic i would love to see more of between them. but like, my point was "hey, has anyone considered how funny this would be" and never at any point "the other way people write them is WRONG." because it isn't wrong, it's just not my cup of tea. i'm rambling, but tl;dr- anything tagged with "spite fic" or is spite fic in vibes has me rolling my eyes and scrolling by, no thanks.

fix-it fic

okay so like. i don't automatically click out of anything with this tag, but i'm very leery towards it. my joy in fandom is exploring all the "what-ifs" of canon and canon-divergence is such a fun playground, but i've gotten...really, really frustrated with the fix-it fic tag over the past few years. a lot of fix-its revolve around "what if x choice never happened" scenarios and very often the answer to that is "this significantly more boring y result happened instead" and meh. generally, i find it more interesting to work with things that happened in canon than to just banish them, so anything starting with the premise of just erasing something is a hard sell for me.

for example! after kinnporsche ep4 dropped and the spurt of ~fix-it~ fic that dropped so that either kp didnt fuck or it was fully consensual or whatever. it just...missed the entire point of why it was narratively important, or stripped Porsche of the agency he did have during that scene, or missed the point of how Kinn can't ignore the power imbalance between them. i'm not going to ramble more on the meta about it here, but it felt like a bunch of people clutching their pearls and more anxious about making some fictional guys ~unproblematic~ instead of digging into the story the writers were trying to tell. plus, KinnPorsche as a ship minus the power imbalance or the tension of their circumstances is a much more boring story to me, so my inclination is to just scroll by anything wanting to avoid it.

another example of fix-it fic i hated was after good omens s2 came out, a bunch of people rushed to write ~fix-it fic~ where Aziraphale didn't go to heaven or it turned out ~he was drugged all along~ or anything that didn't have Aziraphale and Crowley splitting at the end. even a lot of the literal story metas dropping at the time were theories on how Aziraphale wasn't actually leaving Crowley or he was literally being brainwashed/drugged into it somehow, and it was just like. hmm. the s2 end was the natural build-up of the story (all???? of s2 was them miscommunicating or trying to find their new purposes in the world???) (also: in all trilogies, the 2nd story ends on a cliffhanger, that's How You Write Trilogies) and like. blah, idk, i get how the natural instinct is to want some comfort food after the bombshell, but the good omens tag (on AO3 and even tumblr in many ways) was impossible for me post s2 because i was really excited about their divorce and all the ways to dig into that split, but everywhere i turned was about turning the wheel back to erase it. bleh.

anyways, overall, nothing wrong with fix-it fic, but it's usually easier to just assume anything with that tag is not a story i'm interested in reading.

...reading back and the tl;dr of this post is that i find it more fulfilling to play in a sandbox i like and take all canon choices in good faith to work with lol

[ send a ☕, get a bitchy* fic opinion ]

*personal opinion, I'm not going to be mean

#this wound up being a lot more about vibes than specific tropes oops #but yeah #canon can absolutely make dumbass decisions but i still think you find more interesting stories if you consider the implications or ways to #work with it versus outright banishing it #i care more about the story canon's trying to tell than the story fandom wants it to tell #.........okay now im officially veering into salt territory lol SHUSHING NOW 😂 #i still dont know how to tag these uhh #tea asks #???

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Regarding the split!Kim AU I'm just gonna put my ramble of thoughts out on here.

1. Okay so what events led to Kim wanting to remove his younger self? What inner turmoil, self depreciating nonsense thoughts did he put himself through?

2. Where did Kim find this magic spell and how did he follow through with it without searching for it's consequences/side effects? Did he go down a black hole on the web and found the most reviewed witch/ spell out there to help him? Idk how to words more on this brainrot

3. How long was it till Kim hid what he did and how did young!Kim reach the compound??

4. What all young!Kim must be thinking and what did he do that everyone in the compound realized something was wrong? (Plus I hope Korn is dead in this, he doesn't deserve to be alive)

5. What was Chays reaction to young!Kim and how he takes care of him and spends time with him? (just being the most loving, and Kim feels so touched and full of unknown feelings because Chay?? the love of his life?? accepts and appreciates and treats young!Kim like he's the most precious in this entire world???)

6. Young!Kim's reaction to finding out about Wik? Is he shocked/ surprised/ wonderstruck? In complete awe of himself of the future?

7. How does Kim behave with young!Kim? Is he hesitant at first? But then he sees the way everyone else treats him and has Feelings™ and then thinks (a lot) and maybe something happens like some new stupidass bodyguard shouting at/ hurting young!Kim and Kim just snapping out on him, completely pissed off and in the worst rage he could ever have, completely protecting young!Kim like who tf you think you are?? How dare you??

Okay I think that's all for now, sorry for the spam of Randomness™😅

(yes i typed this up in my notes first so i don't accidentally lose anything.)

Anon darling I'm kissing you on the forehead, you're hitting so many of my story points with these asks! I feel Seen.

I haven't decided what Kim specifically does/feels that makes him want to do this in the first place. Since I started the fic where it's already happened, I just kinda. Handwaved it. But he does comment on the fact that Chay has been pushing him towards therapy, so that's probably part of it. Kim would rather lose all his memories than talk about his feelings. He's also 2 years into dating Chay (which honestly. That's bc I wanted baby Kim to be 13, and aging Kim up to 23 gave me an easy 10 years to work with. Tbh it would work better if Kim were only a few months into dating Chay and he was willing to do anything to Be A Good Person/Boyfriend/makeup for the breakup. BUT I DIGRESS!) Anyway being with Chay makes Kim want to be/feel better, and this is his nuclear solution. It does not work.

I also don't know how he did it! I... hesitate to write white pagan magic in KP fics. Maybe Kim pulled a Porsche and went to a monk for help dealing with his traumas, and ended up with a modified past life ritual that ended up splitting him right down the middle. The most important side effect is the way Kim feels about his brothers now; Tawan trauma happened when Kim was a little older, so the Kinn his child self remembers is still very loving and happy, he hasn't pulled away yet. But for adult Kim, who's memories start when he was a teenager... there was so much distance between him and his brothers, and then he moved out a couple years later, so he feels like they're practically strangers to him. Like really distant family that you only see at weddings and funerals. Meanwhile kid!Kim is a precocious little smol who's cuddling both of them whenever he can. (Khun loves it, Kinn has no idea what to do with it but he loves it too. Adult Kim is jealous but wouldn't know how to accept affection from them.)

It all happens pretty much the next day/couple days later, as of the current time line! Kim goes to the temple and does his thing. Kid!Kim manifests wherever he was when the memory split happens; so he just. Wakes up somewhere in the middle of Bangkok, and has to find his way back to the compound. Meanwhile KimChay are living in his condo, obliviously going about their lives. It takes a while for Kid!Kim to get home, then he's sneaking all around because things are different and he doesn't understand why (and he keeps stabbing people, but like. stabby the Roomba more than murder); Kinn has to find him/calm him down/get Porsche involved and figure out what's going on before anyone thinks to call Chay (who's been busy having sex with adult Kim lol)

Korn is dead! Bc I'm lazy and didn't want to think about all the terrible things he could do to mess with smol Kim! Like I said, Kim is kind of a feral cat just let loose in the compound, surrounded by people he doesn't know and freaking out a lot, until the guards finally get him cornered in his old room and notify Kinn. Then eventually Chay gets a call from Porsche, and he goes to the compound with adult Kim, and it's a whole Thing.

Chay absolutely adores kid!Kim. He's absolutely feral but he's also a cutie pie, and he gets a crush on Chay quick. Chay loves it; he was such a lovestruck kid with Kim, now it's his turn! (And he teases adult Kim soo much about how he like likes him >,<). Adult Kim is weird with his younger self at first, bc as far as he's concerned, this may as well be a random child. So Chay schlorps him up quick bc the poor kid needs love. And Kim does come to appreciate the way Chay takes care of his younger self (he has some very odd memories about it when they're eventually reunited.)

My goodness, young Kim is so excited. At that age, he had all these dreams about the life he wished he could have, but he never thought it would really happen. But he got away from his father, he gets to chase his dreams of making music, he has a (very cute!!) boy that loves him, that he gets to love in return. It's all his dreams come true. Again, Chay thinks this is adorable, that Kim was such a dreamy little kid. (Kim is also so excited when he finds out that!! Chay lets him write songs about him!! that's so cool!!! And Chay writes him songs too!?!?!)

Like I said, at the start kid Kim may as well be some random child, he's vaguely curious about what happened but has no personal investment (kid Kim might be. a little. heartbroken about that. He's very sensitive.) But overtime Kim warms up to him, learns how to love him and take care of him. It's seeing this as someone else, rather than himself, that allows him to "forgive" himself. It's easy to blame himself for all the bad parts of his life when he's not looking that poor kid in the eyes. And bc I think cuddles are important, and Kim definitely wasn't hugged enough as a child, there's many snugs. There are still Mafia Things going on around all this that Kim has to deal with, so kid Kim spends a lot of time with Chay and his brothers, but there are a lot of times where he's asleep between KimChay. He kind of is like their kid in some ways. It's an odd dynamic for Kim, especially when he gets those memories of being cuddled by himself and Chay?? But ultimately it's a good thing for him. (Except the Porsche memories. He doesn't want those 😤)

These were so much fun, thank you for sending them!! I love talking about this AU <3<3<3

#cookie speaks #cookie writes #kimchay #split!Kim AU