#idk its INCREDIBLY frustrating

[louwhose]

Happy Pi Day! Or... is it pie day? White day?

Whatever, today is something and I'm celebrating whatever it is with this ship I'm far too obsessed with for how little screentime they have.

#dwight in shining armor #disa #chlodwig #phoebe #....STILL need to figure out a good ship name for them #phoewig? chloebe? #the “oe” in both of those is the long e sound in my head. for clarity #well then just in case I will tag this post with both of those options #phoewig #chloebe #okay maybe that second one could be more of a. chlO-E-be #idk its an incredibly made up ship name why am I stressing over it so much #also if you are reading this far I shall serenade you with some history about this piece #it took me months and several iterations of this piece to finally finish it #which was incredibly frustrating because it felt for a while that everytime I came back my art had leveled up enough that I had to restart #from scratch because the different components simply would not work together #but finally I finished it. #...over a month before posting it BUT DANG IT PI DAY WAS WORTH WAITING FOR #also pretty sure that this is the last thing I completed before my friend forced me to figure out the pressure sensitivity in my tablet #and that changed my art style completely again it feels like but. alas. this is definitely the last of its kind #lou draws #WOWWWWWWW forgetting my own art tag #at least it's impossible to forget about this piece with how much I went through for it

[anotherpapercut]

absolute worst thing about working with small children is not being able to cuss. sometimes I need to say goddammit

#today one of the kids said something incredibly fucking mean to another kid #and it took SO much restraint not to say 'what the fuck did you just say to her?' #i really hope some of these kids like. learn to be nice before they become adults because oh my god #one of them wont stop being transphobic to my coworker so hes not allowed in her room anymore because he was being so awful #and hes fuckin 8 years old! 8 entire years old and being wildly bigoted! and i don't think its his parents #bc his sister is extremely fuckin respectful. literally corrects other kids who call me mr or miss and tells them i dont like that #so why is her brother wildly transphobic and mean as hell to other kids and shes like one of our best behaved #i dont get it #i want to be patient and understanding but when theyre bullying other kids like! im not gonna let them traumatize people #because they havent figured out kindness yet #idk #its frustrating sometimes

[mrswhymrhow]

im going to say this once. there is a lot of fascinating. implications between the family member sin succession that certain (coughincestcough) fans like to dig into in weird ways but it is actually something fascinating and done so well. they arent actually engaging in that but theres so much to say about it. the way shiv is "marrying her father" and having her baby in a way tlaking about capitalism and the way a lot of times these sort of families do have histories of engaging in incest to "keep the family line pure" and all that. romans jokes about it. the way business is equiviliant to fucking in the show. its all fascinating. and now i wont talk about it again bc i dont trust anyone to be able to have this sort of conversation in a normal way on here and i dont want to with msot of you

#idk if i should tag this as something. but its really cool #a lot of the things like the homoerotic tones and the (waves at this post) are critiques and ways to view capitalism and the way companies #work that people way more. well read on the subject than me can make into incredible things. that isnt me but it still sticks in my head #ill miss you roman and your weird way of sexually harassing your sister. ill miss it dearly #posting abt this and the way they are theoritically if you thik of business as fucking fucking each other is flying a little close tothe su #but i promsie im not saying this in a weird way. sometimes sex and uncomfortable topics like these are narratively done well #and its so frustrating to look in the tags and see these sort of analysizes and going okay this is great. but i cant trust you #BECUASE YOU'RE ALL FREAKS

[pinayelf]

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#fatphobia cw again im sorry skip this #im still so incredibly depressed over what my mom said to me #i feel frustrated that i cant get over what she said even tho it was nearly 2 weeks ago #i think its cause its such a big trigger for me and it has sort of been taking over my brain for the later half of 2023 #and to have it brought up to my face by someone so incredibly fatphobic spewing fearmongering rhetoric #not only have i been depressed over it ive been so anxious and paranoid #im just not coping w it as well as i hoped to be #idk what to do except to just let it pass #but it sucks bc ive been unable to sleep w/o crying

[minijenn]

Hot midnight take but someone has to say it

Age of Calamity had a better and more engaging story with more interesting character development for a majority of its cast than Tears of the Kingdom did

#and I do not wanna hear anyone bitch about the retconning time travel nonsense #who fycking cares it’s meant to be an au of botw anyway #yeesh #and for what it is it’s incredibly charming and well put together #it doesn’t feel like a million ideas were haphazardly smashed together #idk man my frustration with totk is growing more and more #I love it but damn I wanna smack it and scream at its plot to do better #Jen rambles #don’t mind me #legend of Zelda #totk #aoc

[pearlpool]

hm.

#been feeling very irritable and negative lately to the point where ive been catching myself getting really frustrated with my dear friends #like i just saw something a friend said and i literally went 'oh my god who gives a fuck' out loud under my breath #and i feel incredibly guilty about it #choosing to blame academia but it literally makes me wanna cry. like i feel like a terrible person and friend #and before you ask. yes i ate yes i had a full nights sleep yes i left my room today yes im drinking water #and its still happening #idk i just cant stop complaining and feeling so DONE with everyone #i just. really thought i was getting better :/ #oh well. i guess #ugh i just. UGH last night i talked so much shit about truly one of my closest friends. and its like okay they kinda deserved it #because what they did was shitty #but im literally perpetuating my own worst fear. which is being secretly disliked by those closest to me #:((( AGH. #diary

[badgorlcoven]

there’s genuinely no way that any team of writers, no matter how talented they were, would have been able to take the bum deal the owl house got and turn that final season into anything other than, at best, an anti-climax. there’s absolutely no way it wouldn’t have been rushed. i can only commend dana and the team for giving it their all, and trying their best with the constraints they were given. but the only thing that final episode can do is make me angry: not at the team, but at disney for handicapping one of their best shows for no reason, and leaving it like this. obviously rushed, so many ideas that should have had room to expand but no time, not much for the rest of the cast to do during the episode proper. with how cut short s3 became, it almost makes the prospect of rewatching the series later difficult knowing that it’ll hit a brick wall and just kind of end. i watched a rerun of the disney xd broadcast and it immediately cut before the credits so i only just now saw the extra stuff which im at the very least glad we got (older luz, some answers, more of luz and amity together, hunter and willow confirmed) but....ugh. dana terrace you will always be famous, you and the crew didn’t deserve this

#the owl house #watching and dreaming #man idk.................it makes me sad #not really because the shows ending but because it couldve been so much better #amphibia had a pretty forgettable final season all things considered but it at least presented more time with the characters #and even after all of that filler the final four or so episodes put such a bow on things that its hard to say it mattered much #had the owl house gotten that kind of treatment with a full 20 episode (or even 15 episode) arc for s3 #it easily surpasses amphibia....and pretty much anything else disney's done lately lol #imo it already has done that but it could have been so much greater #its just so frustrating to see the incredible work that was being put in during s2 only for it to not matter in the end

[caffeinatedopossum]

Me: well I don't have any counting compulsions

Also me: (anytime I have to count anything) *recounts it at least 3 times because I think I counted it right... probably. but now I'm not sure and I have to check*

#i dont think i considered this might not be normal until just now #this might actually be why physically sitting down to fill out a math sheet is torture to my soul #but i also know math just fine. its just the anxiety about counting things wrong #its worse when theres physical things involved though like when im cooking because im convinced #that im gonna majorly fuck up #idk if this is normal or not but i straight up count to 5. normally and correctly. and then suspevt i was wrong #and have to redo it again and again until i get so frustrated that i have to convince myself whatever it fucks up cant be that bad #i think it would be a big problem if i was counting something important or anything at a higher number though #but thankfully the most important thing i count is cups of rice that go into my rice cooker lol #also still doubting wether i have ocd or not but goddamn. the word 'probably' has single handedly impacted my brain chemistry forever #i think... probably :') #god forbid i be sure of anything ever #lmao oof i just remembered some things. time for a small tags trauma rant i guess #so I remember never being sure of anything ever as a kid. for some reason i was so anxious and unsure #that the only thing i thought i knew to be true for sure was my faith in my religion #lol needless to say... i deconverted at 16-17 #now idk for real man. i was wrong about the only thing i was certain of #not sure how to recover from that #obviously im never going back to that religion. it was so incredibly harmful idk if i could even put it into words #but at the same time... im not sure why i doubt everything #or more accurately im not sure how everyone else DOESN'T #how can they be so self assured? how can they know anything? how are they #how is anyone so sure of something that theyre just at peace with never thinking about it or doubting it or questioning it #ive never had that i dont think

[redysetdare]

Started watching big hero 6 the series and let me tell you "fan friction" was the most uncomfortable episode and I hate how they never actually validated Hiro's discomfort with his portrayal in Karmi's story.

#text #maybe its the aroace in me talking but it was incredibly upsetting to have him constantly brushed off by everyone #'just accept she has a crush on you' that really wasnt the main issue #'oh but she had some good ideas' that doesnt mean hiro cant feel uncomfortable and upset by the story #idk it was frustrating to watch cause it was invalidating hiros feelings and using it for comedic effect #like they were so close to actually having a conversation abt how fanfic abt real ppl affects said ppl #but then they just didnt #and ik its not its job but #invalidating hiros feelings the way they did when he very much is upset by the romantic feelings that are inadvertently being pushed on him #especially when the person pushing those treats him so poorly #idk it leaves a bad taste #bh6 #big hero big hero 6 the series #bh6 the series

[kelprot-old]

i feel like i look at shit like the backrooms and what the internet has done 2 it and i go ok. how many times are we gonna deep-fry concepts in irony while just like fucking. wringing them of any potential subtlety or whatevr the fuck

#i say the backrooms since it's an easy example of this #a cool-ish concept that grew in popularity until it became this inflated husk of just kinda. nothing #iirc it started out as a sorta like ''hey endless halls of surface-level familiarity but No Really They're just Endless'' #while maybe not the most Super Incredible Deep and Full Of Meaning Thing (at least without like. tearing into it) it was still an - #- interesting idea. and i think. while it makes sense. it's still disappointing to see what it got reduced to in the end #it still has value ofc. it's stupid silly fun #but part of me still feels. frustrated that lots of these things dont gain mass appeal until it's like. SCARY MONSTER CHASE!!! WHATTT!!!! #idk smthn about how people simultaneously enjoy this ''new'' version of the backrooms for its simplicity while also showing weariness of it #like in the post. it just feels like a concept deep fucking fried in irony. the original purpose was lost and turned into simple horror #its just like. 2 million roblox clone games ''ESCAPE SIRENHEAD IN THE BACKROOMS!!!'' #this isnt me asking people to all enjoy the original version of the concept it's more me jsut like rambling or fucking whatever #something about how warped things have to become before they can be paraded around with their head on a stick #like girl that is a false self!!!! you are celebrating and simultaneously mocking this freak evil clone twin !!!! #^^ nonsensical ramblings. im gonna go make another cheese toastie #idgaf abt this stuff btw. hope thats clear. every day i spin a wheel of 10 trillion topics and pick one to throw a truck at

[steampoweredskeleton]

My physio wants me to go outside and walk every day. I feel like I should have warned her that the likelihood of me having that kind of energy is incredibly small, and even if it's there, that energy needs to go towards shit like cooking before trips outside

#delete later #it makes me feel lazy sometimes that i hsve so little energy but at thr same time i know that its not my fault #trying to keep a good level of functioning in terms of self care like eating and washing and chores is already really difficult #whilst working full time. i may have the energy for every other day after the flat inspection. tonight i need to reserve energy for #tidying and shit before that. im so tired i legitimately had to fitce myself not to lie down earlier bc i knew I wouldn't be getting back u #idk what the fuck is wrong with me but this is how ive been since i was like 11/ #12 and had to lie down after school #i also keep teetering on the edge of a real freak out. ive been switched to probrct management again so im doing a bunch #of emailing abd communicating and checking. most of which doesnt have concrete answers and relies on understanding #whst ppl are trying to say in their survey responses. which i rly rly struggle with. and on top of that several things #have changed this week at work ahd its impacted my workload sbd responsibilities a lot so im trying to breathe theough it #but im incredibly frustrated and stressed and overwhelmed and having to spend at least a couple hours under weighted blanket each day #most ofbthe tine i dont require the weighted blanket its just nice. i require it right now. frustrating

[ohmeowmy]

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#god ok . vent in tags #saur basically i have been stuck at home doing nothing but studying for the past. 3 years? idk #and now i am Finally starting irl in person school again albeit. Very Late into the school year #and my parents r like. obviously she will be distracted from your studies #bitch what fucking distraction. like. studying for 14 hours a day is not normal you Know that right. right. say sike rn #ugh fucking. im so angry. i want to live and make mistakes and be stuck in uncomfortable situations and then get to laugh about it later!!! #i dont want to spend hours and hours and hours with no one except my family and the internet for company #and this is so frustrating i want to live!!!!! i want to live i want to live i want to live #i want to live but i dont want to be alive. is this anything #alive is tedious. living is free. god i want to jump into a river #ofc i Can just do what i want to do but the specter of my parents disapproval will be hanging like the sword of damocles #mental illness moment <- she has realized she has only two states of being either manic energy or dissociative blankness #ergh the last 2 months have been filled with uncomfortable realizations about myself. what do you Mean constantly wishing you were dead is #not something that happens to other people #what do you Mean. wh #is living not incredibly hard for everyone. no??? its not supposed to be???? thats. huh #anyway. god im so tired #holding on to the faintest hope that it will get better. ive made a promise to stay alive till 21 at least #lets see if it really does get better. i hope it does

[piplupod]

fatigue my beloathed 👎

#i have things i want to dooooooo #but i cannot move my body to do themmm #i put away the clean dishes i washed from a couple days ago and now i am back lying down #im so dbjfksls im only 21 !!! i shouldnt be like this !!! i am supposed to have a whole life ahead of me !!! #i wanted to get into manual labour like farm shit or smth one day :') #i am so fucking frustrated i could cry fhdjsl #i want to continue catching up on washing dishes and make a new bin to transfer isopods to and make art and reorganize craft supplies #and reorganize my space in general and fix the headboard on my bed bc its loose and disassemble this cardboard doll bed i made #and then move the dolls house that my grandfather made to the floor from the shelf its on so the kiddos can play w it #also we could decorate it with scrapbook paper for wallpaper or smth fhdksl idk make little miniatures #and also i need to figure out where to store spare pillows and maybe get back into crocheting #theres !! so many things i want to do !! #i try playing a video game so im not just aimlessly scrolling and staring at the wall while listening to podcasts but i feel guilty #for playing games when i ''should'' be doing cleaning tasks instead #but also its past noon and im still exhausted so idk if anything will get done today #which makes me incredibly upset fhdkdl bc i wanted to get shit done this weekend since I've given myself permission to not do schoolwork #argh. argh argh argh. i wish i could cry but i cant even do that im so tired fhfkdldl #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[fabulouslygaybean]

whyyyyy do people tag shit with vomit as "emetophobia". it makes it near impossible to like, actually find posts talking about the phobia bc literally the only thing you find is images of vomit

#which is incredibly frustrating as an emetophobe. wading thru images of this shit to search for a single other post isn't worth it. #please for the love of god just use vomit tw or something #like. its so frustrating. this isn't an issue for most other phobias on here so idk why this one is so hard for people #like. almost nobody would tag a post as katsaridaphobia. they'd just use cockroach tw. #ppl dont use trypanophobia as a warning tag. they just tag it with needle tw. #why is it so hard to just use vomit tw instead of emetophobia??? #sorry y'all. its just weird as hell to me

[liquid-geodes]

What a way to learn your ex coworker (one of your favorite ones too mind you) thinks everyone who says they're autistic is using it as an excuse for being rude to people

Like brother, people shouldn't HAVE to get diagnosed before you believe them (her actual words) getting diagnosed can actually be super harmful to the person being diagnosed, as it's often times used against us in various ways

Yes there are just shitty people in the world who WILL claim to be to cover up the fact that they're just shitty, but not EVERY person who says it does

#i will literally be the first to admit that i come off as a shitty person quite often/can be blunt more times than not #and once its pointed out to me i do apologize when necessary. its a thing ive got to learn to identify or try to avoid when possible #its never going to go away. thats not how it works #idk it just rubbed me the wrong way to hear her say that. feels like she thinks im just a shitty person #i dont even think she knows im autistic tbh and if thats the case im GLAD she doesnt know #idk a lot has happened recently in this specific vein of thought that just has me feeling exceptionally shitty about myself #like im doing my best with it and its still causing problems. its still hurting the people i care about. its fucking exhausting #and its incredibly frustrating. im literally trying SO HARD to be better and its not working out in a way thats ideal #and now everything just feels extra shitty #im so tired. thats all

[thesadboisguidetolife]

.

#please ignore this as its just me needing to vent it out somewhere where it feels like i can be forgotten but #looking for a support group for people who've been in abusive relationships is fucking hard when you ID as a guy most of the time #i found a pretty big number of groups for women but very few options for men #and im not saying that its unfair or anything like that. this isnt one of those rants #but it would be nice to have a group of just Queer people who can come together and be there in group #so that at least it feels safe to vent and just......be. you know? #and what's more frustrating AF about it is that sooooo many of the incredible people (primarily women) who were kind enough #to teach me about feminism. would bring it to my attention that its not fair and that we should have a safe space #and they were infinitely more helpful than a single Red Pill misogynistic asshole bro or whatever tf they call themselves #idk. now im just rambling incoherently #i just.......want to vent the bullshit trauma so it stops bothering me so much in a safe space with people who understand #thats all i ask for and it sometimes feels impossible. 😕