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forsworned · 3 days

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USE YOUR HEART ft. NEEDY!SIMON 'GHOST' RILEY

Warning(s): Sexual Content, Grinding, AFAB!Reader, Mentions of Narcotics

Synopsis: Simon is high off of morphine and it reveals his true feelings for reader...

Author's note: Idk because @dmitriene told me to do it and i <3 her

"I don't wanna be alone."

His voice breaks as he reaches out to you. His usual stoic demeanor had completely diminished in your presence. For the first time, Simon was needy. You gaze down at his hand gently gripping your hand, "I need you." He says. Pleas even. Dark, stormy, and now conflicted eyes are peering up at you and he tugs you toward him. You didn't know how to react. Seeing Simon so injured and broken makes you feel some type of way. Somewhat wrong, but somehow...powerful?

"You need me?" You finally spoke up. His Adam's apple bobs up and down.

"Yes.” He croaks out.

The morphine that has been coursing in his system finally kicks in and you were experiencing the lowering inhibitions of Simon Riley, not Ghost.

The Simon Riley laying out on the infirmary bed before you at this moment was vulnerable, desperate, and reliant on your presence and aid--insistent even.

But naturally, you're hesitant. A situation like this is compromising and delicate. Given the nature of the circumstances and his stature, he is obviously still at an advantage, but it feels wrong to pounce at the opportunity. You don't want to feel like a predator skulking about as he studies you with reliant, onyx hues.

You look at the time on your watch.

12:38 AM

It was quite late, but the tugging of his hand over yours disrupts your train of thought.

"C'mere. I want you by my side." He susurrates and you're in a bit of a trance at the resonance of his soothing, sleepy tone. It's not its usual gruff and gravelly, but instead a lulling rasp that pulls you in.

"It's late, Lieutenant." You gently chide as you attempt to pry his fingers off your wrist, but he takes his free hand over your own and pulls you flush against him. Goddamn, he was strong. Even in his dazed and confused state, he is built like a fuckin' boulder.

But he's not listening to you as he fiddles with your fingers, tracing over the skin and where it creases and finely wrinkles. Over the nail bed, and the unfiled ridges, down to the chip that you earned from earlier when you reached for your gun in your holster too quickly. He's thumbing over the half-moon on your thumb and then the scar on the meat of your palm before he brings it to his masked lips as if to kiss it over the fabric.

A small, shuddering breath escapes you, and your eyes are glazing over before you swallow thickly. He cups your hand over his jaw and inhales sharply as he closes his eyes.

"Don't care." He replies, curling his bicep around your waist and secures you so have nowhere to go.

Your heart thuds at the contact and your cheeks are teeming with warmth. And suddenly it feels like the heat in there is turning to the max because you're sweating like a dog under his keen gaze and snug hold on you.

"Want you to stay." And it's as if he's speaking purely from the heart when he looks at you like that. You want nothing more but to crumble into his arms and cave into whatever feelings are lurking within you, but there's an urge to maintain your professionalism. And Simon senses that. He wants you to let go.

Why? He didn't know. Be it the drugs, the near-death experience, or the fact that you look utterly gorgeous under the strong moonlight or all of the above; he wants you with all his being.

His bandage-wrapped fingers loop around the bottom of his mask and he's lifting it up to expose just his lips as it scrunches up under his nose. Even if you have seen the sight a multitude of times over the years of knowing your Lieutenant, it is always as awestriking as it was the first time you saw it. His pretty rosy lips kiss at your wrist and you're stunned.

"Stay." He croaks out.

"And then what?"

You can't help yourself from asking such a silly question. You just need to feel needed by him because there is just something about the clinginess in his body language that pulls you in for more. If Simon is being honest right now, he's on cloud motherfucking nine. He's so high that everything feels like tunnel vision right now and you're the only damn thing he can focus on, not that he would want to focus on anything else.

So when he's telling you to stay, he damn well means it. But he also wants more. He's telling himself not to be too hasty, at least the logical part of him, though he is following his heart's desires. And his heart is conveying to him that he yearns for your closeness, for all your regard, and selfishly enough, your own heart.

At this point, all reasoning is being tossed out the window when he fixates on your trembling, shimmering eyes and your quivering glossed lips that are slightly chapped. But he's thinking to himself, one kiss. One kiss would fix that for you.

Simon is no longer struggling to sit up when he's tensing you closer to him feeling the sweat wetting the small of your back. His brows slightly raise and you feel your cheeks flush at his little observation, but he's not halting his motion to close the short distance between you two. He's bringing his hand over the nape of your neck, carding his scarred fingers through the tendrils of your hair and a soft sigh leaves your lips.

And the way you visibly relax draws out a small smile onto his lips as your foreheads collide. You don't even dare to open your eyes. You swallow thickly as you feel your breath become shallow and sharp. It fans against his lips and he's feels even more enticed to just kiss you.

"Dammit, [name]..." He finally breathes out. And you're eyes are on him and he can feel a thrill creep up his chine when he sees the flash of longing overcome your half lidded gaze.

And now you're yearning to bridge the distance, creeping closer to him, nudging your nose against his, and faintly brushing your lips over the stubble on his philtrum. You notice how his chest huffs out, stuttering as it leaves his lungs.

Long blonde lashes tickle at your own as your lips graze and you're heart is thumping out of your chest. You feel yourself holding back from your own hankerings but the moment that Simon brings his thumb to skim over your bottom lip, you feel the tension snap like a rubberband and you're crashing your lips against his. To hell with ethical conduct and decorum, you want nothing more than to satiate your thirst for him.

And with every kiss, you feel like your hunger is being appeased. The ferocity that grows in the depths of your groin is clawing out as you clamber on top of him and you're tuning out the noisy heartbeat monitor that's becoming rapid. And it cuts out, thanks to the swift movement of Simon pulling out the cord so he can nestle his hands under your shirt and slip his tongue between your open-mouth kisses.

He's losing himself in you and he doesn't care because the feeling of your nails digging into his abdomen is more than pleasant. As if the morphine wasn't dizzying enough, he was starting to feel like he was reaching some sort of seventh heaven. Especially when he hears the soft whimper that leaves your lips when he thumbs atop your hardened bud and gently tweaks it between his fingers.

The tent that's starting to feel like it's pitching between his legs is getting ground upon and he shudders at how fucking good it feels.

"Fuck." He murmurs as he lifts your shirt up to expose your breast to him and he's latching his lips to your sensitive nipple. It's a soft probing of his tongue against the erogenous zone and you're instantly arching your back and he grasps at your hips to abrade your clothed sex against him. And it feels so fucking good.

So, naturally, you're not stopping. And Simon can't help but become absorbed in your pleasure. Your milky moans are like music to his ears as he switches over to your other nipple. The friction builds in your lower belly as you get into a good rhythm and it becomes increasingly euphoric with every roll of your hips. And fuck, it's not even much but the way you are so touch-starved makes it all the better.

"Simon, I—hah—gonna—" You moan out, throwing your head back in ecstasy as his tongue swirls around your bud. He's already addicted to the way you're saying his name between your whimpers.

"Cum." He commands, as he clutches your hips to help achieve your oncoming orgasm. His sexy, raspy voice is enough to send you over the edge and a terrific gasp escapes you as you bury your face into the crook of his neck. Your breath is gone and you feel like your voice melts into a deep, hot sweetness that soothes your electrifying nerves.

There is a brief pause of silence as you catch your breath and the embarrassment skulks in and you don't want to withdraw from him. You only focus on his heartbeat which slows and his breath that levels. Your throat tightens as you shift awkwardly and his hand on your hip feels a little limp. You take another moment to memorize how he smelled to help you calm your nerves.

The aroma of his natural musk enmeshed with the faint scent of cypress digs into your brain as you try your hardest to engrave his essence before it slips away. With one more breath of courage, you withdraw from him to face the music but it seems he's fast asleep. His thumb is still hooked into the belt loop of your jeans, and you can't help but giggle at him.

A small sigh leaves your lips as you calm down from your climax and your shaky fingers, lower his mask back down so it's stretching over his neck. Maybe if you slip away right now he'll think that it was just a nice little wet dream...

But you feel his hand cling to you as you try make your sweet escape.

"Thought I told ya to stay." He mumbles under his breath while he wraps his arms around your waist, securing you and making certain you're not leaving his side anytime soon.

There's a feeling of assurance that fluxes over your edginess and you can finally breathe again. Simon's body feels weightless as he lays in this infirmary bed with your toasty form atop his. It feels heavenly to have your figure pressed against him and he hums in contentment. He's replaying the sound of your moans and the way your body writhed under his touch. And you're starting to feel the rigidity of his dirty thoughts against the zipper of your jeans.

"You sure?" You murmur back, feeling the warmth sidle back into your cheeks.

His grin grows under his mask and you can feel it against your forehead. Sleep overtakes him, but he gives you one last squeeze.

"'m sure."

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rius-cave · 2 days

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Idea for an interaction between Luci and Adam

Lucifer: You used to be so kind and happy. So full of life and wonder. What ever happened to you?

Adam, seething: YOU happened to me, damnit! How do you not see that? You STOLE my first wife! You CORRUPTED my second wife with your shitty fuckin APPLE! You condemned all of humanity, all of my descendants, to a life of toil and suffering, all cuz the Big Plan wasn't fucking good enough for you!

And then, you left me! You left US! Left us to deal with the mess that you created! You are the reason for everything that has ever gone wrong in my life! You're the reason I doubted if Cain was my child! You are the reason Cain killed Able! And YOU are the REASON I was alone in Heaven!

Lucifer, looking mortified: W... What was that last part?

Adam, hysterical: You really didn't know?! Oh, what a fucking joke this is! Yeah, they didn't let Eve in because she committed the first sin. But she wasn't bad enough for Hell, so they basically just... Erased her.

*Adam feels his chest*

Adam: But, hey, at least I got my rib back.

Lucifer: Adam, I-

Adam: Able never got into Heaven cuz they hadn't created the Winner system yet. Cain's still wandering the Earth. I'm not allowed to talk to him. Not allowed to tell him that I forgive him, despite how much I hate what he did to his brother, because the angels fear that my forgiveness would undo his curse.

All of my other children, and all of their children, and so on, are just... MIA. The angels don't know what happened to them. Up until the big J-man came about, there were, like, clerical errors or something. They could be in heaven, and just not realize we're related. Or they could have been in hell, and killed in an extermination. I have nothing, Lucifer. My existence is hollow.

Huh! These are some interesting headcanons about the whereabouts of Adam's family! I have to say I haven't thought much about them, cause idk, I have no purpose for them yet personally. But wow, these hit hard. Eve was just erased????? fuckin yikes :(

Cain still wandering the Earth is also really interesting, is he there as like, an immortal human? Is he a ghost lol? Is he just dead but he can't enter Heaven or Hell like... uh... well a ghost i suppose lmao.

To me it would feel like most of Adam's family just doesn't wanna see him anymore, regardless if they're in Heaven or Hell, but them being just... lost is also an interesting possibility.

Also. ouchie. About that whole exchange. No matter how silly of a guy Lucifer is, he is definitely still the Devil and very much responsible for most of humanity's suffering lol

#hazbin hotel #adam #ask

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deerlottie · 3 days

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OKAY, SO, I DON'T THINK ANYONE HAS ASKED THIS BUT- HCS of proposing to the yjs? Like, would they propose or would reader propose. Also, how they would do it dhhshdhan

lottie: FOR SUREEEE she would be the one proposing. i think she'd try sooo hard to be subtle, but you know in an instant because she's so fucking nervous 😭 also didn't hide the ring that well...it'd be on a trip to greece - idk the first thing that came to mind was a little sunset picnic by the beach near ur hotel, little makeout session which turns into her getting emotional and pulling out the ring. she'd go on a monologue for like 10 minutes about how lucky she is to have met you and be with you and wake up every day to kiss you :( I feel like she'd just love a quaint little wedding with all your guys' friends and some family. doesn't have to be huge but if that's something you want, shes more than happy to oblige.

jackie: YOU WOULD! her ass would be dropping hints that she's ready for marriage and would get SO excited when you make up the worst lie when you're going with shauna to go ring shopping LMFAO. you have to wait until she forgets about it because she's on edge Every Day. i think she'd LOVE the attention if you do it in public... telling her you wanna go on a simple walk and she starts to realize you're taking her to where you guys went on your first date :( proposing to her at the exact table you sat at too 😭😭 ohh she'd be a mess. it'd take her like 5 mins to stop crying and say yes.

shauna: she would!!!!! this is probably cliche and corny as hell but i can't stop thinking about her saying she bought you a book because it reminds her of you and when you open it, inside is a poem she wrote about how she feels about you :( she includes lines from her favorite books and at the end of poem is "please say yes." you're confused but she tells you to flip to the last page and there's a ring. she's holding her breath for what seems like forever until you say yes and shes so happy :(( tbh i can see her just wanting to get married secretly and the girls finding out about it when they see that huge ass ring she got you.

nat: you'd propose. but i could also see her being kind of upset she can't afford an actual ring for you so she gets you like a ring from one of those quarter machines or some shit 😖😭 but its soo sweeet. she actually pours her little heart out and maybe cries a little...(she'll kill u if u mention this to anyone) but as for you, a simple dinner proposal is just fine. doesn't even have to be fancy - it could be a pizza shop you two frequent a lot and she'd be content. you'd do it in such a cheesy (no pun intended) way tho 😭 "accidentally" dropping your fork and asking her to pick it up for you and when she's bent down, that's where you place the ring on her plate. she scoffs but she's so enamored >__< will also flaunt that ring like there's no tomorrow!!!!

taissa: she would :P she told you very early on in ur relationship that you shouldn't even THINK about proposing because she's gonna be the one to do it. im such a sucker for halloween/christmas themed proposals so im imagining her doing it with christmas lights and ur too busy staring at how pretty she looks to notice the letters spelling out something when you help her put them up. thinking of the word "you" not lighting up properly so it just spells out "will marry me?" and you're like HUH!!!!! but ofc you say yes, and she gets you the most jaw-droppingly gorgeous ring ever that matches with a necklace she bought for herself :(

van: they would!!!! im obsessed with the idea of them doing it in a movie theater 😭 using their connections to have it display "y/n, will you marry me?" during the end credits of a movie you went to go see. and you HATE staying for the credits, so it takes a Lot of begging from van to get you to sit ur ass back down. the lights turning into a warm red color and van's VIBRATING beside you with a huge grin on their face as their message pops up. Trust that the ring box would be themed to fit your guys' favorite movie like the little nerd they are.

misty: oh, she would...if it was acceptable, she would've proposed one week into your relationship. caligula would 100% be involved. when you arrive at misty's house, caligula is carrying a note in her beak telling you to meet misty at the park. you walk around with her for a while and feed the ducks with her until she takes you by this totally not suspicious guy who's playing romantic songs on his guitar, which definitely sounds like ur favorite song....she gets down on her knees dramatically before proposing 😭

#.myworks #yellowjackets thoughts 💭#yellowjackets x reader #lottie matthews x reader #jackie taylor x reader #natalie scatorccio x reader #shauna shipman x reader #taissa turner x reader #van palmer x reader #misty quigley x reader

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junkshopblog · 24 hours

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music genres (and artists) i feel like rory characters would b into :P

i only did a few cause i'm blasted n wanna take a nap ALSO i've probably already posted about most of these, just felt like making one big post :3

clyde - i had to think for a minute but i've come to terms with the fact that he would like all kinds of music genres. his top pick would probably be 70's rock though!! he'd also enjoy a lot of alternative hip hop artists like blood orange and mac miller while he's skating!!!!!!! he’s also a gatekeeper..

jack - this one of my favs cause he just like me :P. but he'd be super into shoegaze nd his fav band would be superheaven :3 also i don't know whether he would like midwest emo or post hardcore music but he likes one of the two!!! (maybe both)

eurory - (obviously black metal) but idc what ANYONE says he'd loveee 80's new wave n goth music. his fav new wave band would be depeche mode. i wanna say he’d be into crustpunk but that would be ooc 😭 (i just like the thought that he’d take you to shows n teach you how to crowdkill, but he’d probably do that anyway :3)

chris - when i think of chris i think of rap n this is also my fav because it suits him so well!! he'd love 2014-2016 underground rap n his fav artists would be $uicideboy$ nd chris travis. i also think he'd like 90's rap too like bone thugs n harmony and stuff. idk if this is ooc but i kinda feel like he'd dabble in a lil bit of thrash metal too if he's really feeling it..

kappa - i can’t even figure this one out …

ok that’s it chat i’m in a writers slump sorry i haven’t been feeding you guys 😣😣😣

but feel free to add more in the comments :3

#sorry kappa 😣!!#clyde electrick children #jack thurlow #r!euronymous #eurory #kappa black mirror #chris kenton #lords of chaos #jack goes home #rory culkin #i ❤️ rory culkin #:333

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teacup-crafter · 1 day

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Okay I'm sad to have to do this but :(

This is my original song, My Special Company. (a Sherlock & Co. fansong)

I don't know what the quality sounds like it was wonky to upload

But I can definitely tell you I'm not happy with the results.

Unfortunately I have to give up this project, just... Leave it be for now

Because I'm not in a position where I can use any other instruments than what's available to me on walkband, I can't work on this stuff too loudly. and because my horrible awful "MoDeRn" phone doesn't have a headphone jack- I can only use bluetooth headsets with my phone. AND THE BLUETOOTH HAS LIKE A 1 SECOND DELAY. HORRIBLE AWFUL NO GOOD.

I'm not able to play around on instruments the way I want, and I get way too anxious working on this that I'm just. Not making progress.

So I'm leaving My Special Company here, and maybe someday I'll make a better version. I don't even remember what exactly it sounds like, I just remember that I definitely should have re-recorded the piano part haha, I had a little "twinkle" thing planned idk if it's in there

One last thing- you may notice a few references from adventures up to and including Blue Carbuncle, you might wonder why I didn't include other references- that's bc I started on this song around cardboard box pt 1. Yeah 😭

Lyrics under the cut. Arguably the best part of this. In fact just ignore the MP3 file and just read the lyrics /j

221A, 221B

That is where I keep my special company

221A, 221B

Sherlock, Mariana and my little Archie

EX-PLO-SION

The thunder comes!

A thousand feet marching

To the sound of BIG DRUMS

The clouds part

and the sky bleeds,

as I meet you

Get me involved with ming pottery

And soon I realize I don't wanna be free

From this life, and your mind

As we go and we do it all, ooh-oh

Adrenaline and tension,

Brilliant comprehension

The thrill of the seek

And their shocking redemptions

Tell the listeners about this lovely place-

221A, 221B

That is where I keep my special company

221A, 221B

Sherlock, Mariana and my little Archie

221A, 221B

The listeners hear all that we seek

221A, 221B

Stay tuned until next week

Faked deaths, faked murders

We keep it short

No matter where he goes

He's got my support

Suicide, still alive,

Though our shoes didn't make the fall

I can't deny that twinkle in your eyes

Is what I think you'd call "sensory delight"

To go out with the boys?

Or stay? Well, I choose you, ooh-oh

Adrenaline and tension,

Brilliant comprehension

The thrill of the seek

And their shocking redemptions

Tell the listeners about this lovely place-

221A, 221B

That is where I keep my special company

221A, 221B

Sherlock, Mariana and my little Archie

221A, 221B

The listeners hear all that we seek

221A, 221B

Stay tuned until next week

221A, 221B

That is where I keep my special company

221A, 221B

Sherlock, Mariana and my little Archie

221A, 221B

The listeners hear all that we seek

221A, 221B

We're keeping their attention, stay tuned until next week

221A, 221B

That is where I keep my special company

221A is where I wanna 221B

It's where I'll always be

Hope it was enjoyable. Fun fact: for so long whenever I started a new paragraph on my notes app the 1st word suggestion would be "EX-PLO-SION"

#Artist: Leo #teacup.mp3 #sherlock & co #sherlock & co.#sherlock and co #sherlock and co.

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solarpunkani · 1 year

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"Oh no, someone's attracted to the aesthetics of my -punk movement but doesn't know the praxis and history behind it like I do--"

OK. Tell them. Make it a teaching moment. Everyone who's in your movement learned the background from somewhere at some point, maybe this is that point for that person. Give them a jumping off point that they can dive into later.

"Oh but I shouldn't be responsible for teaching baby -punks about the history and the how-tos and--"

OK. Then don't tell them. You don't have to be responsible for teaching people with a budding interest in your group the ins and outs and how-tos. That's fair and valid! It can be a lot of work. Someone else will handle it

"But I'm annoyed that they would try to claim to be part of/be interested in my community without knowing all the details that I know after being in it for months/years/decades, they're dumb, they're posers, they're--"

OK. Then don't engage with them, if it's that bad. Maybe someone else will come around and tell them the history, maybe they'll pick it up on their own, maybe they'll just enjoy the fashion elements for awhile.

"But they shouldn't claim to be part of the -punk community if they don't know the--"

I feel like we have a few options here. People can either talk to them, share the history, share the values, share the praxis. Or they can just chase off anyone who even thinks about dipping a toe in their community, and then wonder why it's dying off later down the line.

I dunno, maybe I'm too naive and patient or whatever. But if people are entering your -punk spaces without knowing The Rundown of what you feel they need to know, maybe being nice about it and informing people instead of immediately assuming stupidity and malicious intent could help you make a new friend. Even the loudest voices in a space had to learn from somewhere, and not everyone has the luxury of being in the space as the History was Happening--whether it's an age thing or a not being aware of the space thing. Or maybe I just don't see what the big deal is behind people hating people who like the aesthetic of something and don't know the behind the scenes history about it yet.

Because I believe in the word 'yet.' No one comes into this world knowing everything about everything, and we're all constantly learning new things. I'm not gonna degrade someone and call them a poser for not knowing what I know. Because if it were me, interested in a scene but getting chased out and called a poser? I wouldn't hit the books and study up, I'd go 'that fuckin sucks, those people sucked' and then avoid anyone and anything having to do with it.

So chase people off and call them posers if you want. But if your community starts dwindling, don't be fucking shocked.

#out of queue #ani rambles #punks and posers #i cant even call this a 4am hot take because its 7pm but like #idk i keep seeing posts about like 'how DARE people think I bought my punk clothes how DARE they not know the how-tos and DIYs'#or 'ugh people only care about the ~aesthetics~ of my movement if you don't know shit get out of here' and like #maybe I'm just a shy ass introverted nerd whos scared of social rejection! but I avoid that shit like the plague #so if someone were to reject me based on not knowing about something I'd never even heard about? something i was JUST getting into?#there's a high chance I'd just scram and never look back. i don't wanna be the one who causes that emotion in someone else #granted this is coming from someone who STILL doesn't know how to make her own patches or worked up the courage to do direct action praxis #outside of offering neighbors to my tomatoes and trying to talk to people about what I'm passionate about #but still imo unless someone's a malicious intentional bad actor i dont see the point in scaring newbies off #thats how movements die imo #i know this is my solarpunk blog but its not a solarpunk specific thing #i think the main post that inspired this was about store-bought versus self-made spiked leather jackets #which honestly just feels petty to me but who knows.#might delete later

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possamble · 15 days

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realizing im kind of a weirdo about laios and marcille

#possramble #ignore this im just babbling but #the thing is that like. i don't ship laios and marcille together. their relationship is so so important to me in that laios comphets himsel #and THINKS that he might be in love with her but he isn't and that's my insane obsession #platonic soulmates for real but they're so sweet together that i fully expect them to be shipped together #like i get it. that's almost the appeal for me. if dungeon meshi were any other series there'd be an epilogue where they get married #convention dictates that they're meant to be together as the male protagonist and his beloved female deuteragonist #but dungeon meshi DOESNT do that and i love it so fucking much they're the comphet besties ever for my strange little brain #like if i ever did an arranged marriage au it would absolutely be laios and marcille having a platonic political marriage and then just #the most insane mutual pining with marcille and falin while laios and marcille struggle their way into becoming best friends #the imagery of the king and his beautiful court mage being tender to each other and everyone thinking they're in love is like catnip to me #like yeah they'd be like that and have no idea people think they should be together and the subversion makes me so obsessed #the more people ship them romantically. the more i enjoy their platonic dynamic it's like some sort of weird comphet fetishism idk #people think they're in love and im outside the window like YES... YES!!!#but also the second i see stuff of them kissing on the mouth or fucking im like oh god no i went too deep in here i gotta get out #don't wanna see that. i'll go feral over the idea of laios and marcille being arm-in-arm like king and queen but they would not fuck.#i want marcille to be his default comphet beard and dance partner/plus one at official royal events but they're not kissing.#she's there on his arm because he's scared of the other noble women tryna get him and being a baby about it #and people see them muttering to each other and laughing and generally being very sweet and think that they're dating but they're not.#she's actually covered in hickies from falin underneath her dress and is gonna get dragon dicked right after the party is over #like she's in her bedroom and falin's helping her take her ridiculous dress off while listening to her complain about politics #and falin is the person she goes home to the person she falls asleep to and wakes up with #they're a triad of utter devotion to each other but only farcille's side of the triangle is romantic #it's almost like an open secret because they're not trying to hide it at all but people assume and are surprised to find out #like people are so right about her relationship with the toudens but with the siblings' roles switched #love of her life & irreplaceable life companion. does anyone get it #anyway. i don't know what's wrong with me #it bothers me that they're not the undisputed most popular het ship for marcille on ao3 #it's unnatural. marcille being paired with any other man should be a fringe case.

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dootznbootz · 2 months

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I think some folks MAY have gotten the wrong idea about how I feel about Circe with some of my posts. So, to clear the air...

Homies, I love that fucked up sorceress.

I love how we're never given a reason why she turns people into animals. That's so funny and so awful. And another potion-making magic gal?!?! I love that she's just basically vibing on an island doing whatever she wants. I even love the fact that she scares Odysseus shitless! She's morally gray and that's why she's FUN.

I just sincerely hate when people try to girlboss her or have her be a victim of SA when she never was Looking at you, Miller. Especially when she was actually the one who coerced Odysseus in exchange for his men being transformed back into humans. And even then, while he was clearly afraid of her, (it's in the language of the Odyssey) she likely meant him no harm after a certain point. He just didn't know that.

Why does she need a reason to do awful things? Why can't she just be a goddess who does whatever she wants? That's the reason why I love her!!! She's fucked up!!! :D

I hate what the Telegony did to her as well! >:( You're telling me, this sorceress goddess, who makes potions (!!!) wouldn't have magic contraceptives??? Would WANT CHILDREN?!?! WITH THE PATHETIC WIFEMAN?! No. Fuck no. Eugammon of Cyrene, I have beef with you 🤬

Anyways!!! Understand all the "#anti circe" I have is simply Anti "Girlboss Circe" or the book. I genuinely think she's neat af as her morally gray, fucked up sorceress self and just get frustrated with...everything :'D

#I have these same feelings with Medea and Medusa and so many others. Penelope too. Let them do something fucked up just to be fucked up #I'm a “god forbid women do anything” in the sense of 'she did a fucked up thing. That's why she's fascinating. Don't take her awfulness #away from her!!! please! I wanna study her under a microscope!'😭#PLEASE #...I actually kind of don't like the idea of her actually caring about her nymphs :P maybe she “protects them” but like...#I see her as a “Why are all of you dancing? Oh. it's a birthday? hm okay. Just make sure your duties are done.” while not caring #whose birthday it is. She's not really shown to be close to them during the Odyssey and idk just seems in character for her to not give af #save me morally gray circe #<-making that a tag now because...yeah. She absolutely wouldn't save me though.#Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #anti madeline miller #anti circe #<-THE BOOK! I HATE THE BOOK! LET HER BE AWFUL YOU COWARDS #Why do women need to be SA'ed to be strong Miller?! >:(#...Ima say it. The pathetic wifeman is more relatable to me than Hot Snake Monster Lady when it comes to this stuff.😤#I just sincerely hate the fact that people erase what happened to him you know? It's silly but it means a lot to me.#Also I think she got bored of him immediately and simply let him chill at her place.#She's a goddess. She's got better things to do and she absolutely doesn't love him and he absolutely doesn't want her.#I don't have with Eugammon btw. He's dead and I'm exaggerating but I STILL hate the Telegony >:(#tw sa #kind of??? idk #barely mentioned but yeah #Calypso though?? Yeah. I hate her in practically everything except Pirates of the Caribbean because that's not Odyssey Calypso

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dykeinthedark · 13 days

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venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)

#okay so i got a really masc haircut about a month ago and i know it's just a haircut but holy shit has it changed EVERYTHING for me #like.... i've always leaned masc except 1) before i came out 2) when i was actively in love with someone who i knew liked femmes #and they always described me as a fem. because that's what i showed her. because i wanted to be with her.#but lowkey whenever i'm in a not-impressing-anyone raw-dogging-life-no-crush era i always resort to a very masc style #like masc being my default and i'd only lean fem to impress people whether it's for love or peer pressure in a specific setting #like ''dressing up'' has always been a form of drag to me. like something i HAD to do to fit in or impress my parents (scott favor core)#but ever since this haircut i've realized... i could just BE masc innately like i really don't have to be womanly if i don't want to #which i usually don't. again i have only ever dressed fem for other people. but it's not even being masc that attracts me on its own #it's like. being masc in a distinctly lesbian way. as in whenever i look in the mirror i don't wanna be like a Guy i wanna be a dyke.#like lesbian as a gender identity too sort of thing honestly. okay i've been waffling but basically i sort of want to call myself butch #but i don't know if i like... can?? if i'm allowed to???#everyone always says it's MORE than just wearing boy clothes and not wearing makeup and having short hair (which i already do all those)#i mean i've always id'd as genderqueer because it literally just means gender weird and i experience gender in a queer way #what's probably the most telling is that my friends (all queer) CALL me a butch lesbian #like every time they do i feel really internally validated. it's not just my clothes but my personality too ig is what people tell me #i have a higher pitched voice relatively speaking but apparently the way i talk is quote ''very clockably into women''#which?? gender euphoria asf. my best friend specifically he (gay trans guy) always uses butch to describe me very intuitively #people have also noticed that i ''transitioned'' in all aspects except hormonally. like ppl have commented and noticed my masculinzation #but at the same time i always feel rly haunted by my ex relationships because one wanted me to be more masc #(she's the one who came out as straight and would treat me like a man) which i didn't like and i didn't like playing up being fem either #bc now it feels like she (butch) won't believe me if i called myself butch too bc she remembers me being femme #idk i feel like there's her voice in my head all the time that sees everything i do through her eyes (i'm lowkey still in love)#i feel like even though this comes so naturally to me i must be putting on a performance #even though i've actually read stone butch blues and done research into the history and i truly love and id with the culture like i rly do #that im still just a sad imitation of a butch lesbian and can never really be a part of it because i used to enjoy dressing up sometimes #like it's so stupid but can i still be butch if i wore a dress to prom and i think i looked good in it??#even though i was envious of my friends who wore suits?? that i used to try goth makeup?? that i liked long dresses??#that i enjoyed stacked necklaces and rings on every finger???#and tbh ALL OF THAT CAME FROM A CONCIOUS EFFORT TO FEMINIZE MYSELF IN JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL WHEN I WAS 16 #because omfg it was 2 months before junior prom and i was worried that i was too masc and wanted to get comfortable with being fem

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craycraybluejay · 3 months

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Ngl if anyone tried to make a whole legal stink about anyone I fucked when I was younger, I'd probably try to sue them for emotional damages or something. Cause like... that's my business. Why dafuq you involving me in this shit I don't want anything to do with even as a kid I was too busy for this shit.

In fact I wish I remembered the names of cops who fucked w me for no reason bc someone stuck their nose in my business so I could take them to court over misuse of force and whatnot. Like I was a traumatized kid why tf r u as an adult with a gun using this much force on me hello? I just. Wish I could fuck over everyone who fucked me over + everyone who was used to fuck me over. The legal way. But the legal option is only ever viable for people who ALREADY have power and money and shit.

I just genuinely despise people who stick their nose in my business and try to "fix things" or "save me" from stuff I don't need saving from which is usually also stuff that I'm actually saving myself with. (See: possession of a deadly weapon. Bitch called the pigs on me bc i said i was scared n just holding onto something so if someone tried something I had any shot at fighting back. It wasn't even a gun. Get your ass out of my business the fuck? I was A KID. A SCARED KID. There is actually 0 reason at all to do this. What the fuck else am I supposed to do just let myself get beat up or killed cuz I'm too small to fight back? No way. Leave your corrupt little system out, I want to live ty.)

Or like. Playing hero when no one fucking asked for a hero. And somehow, it's never when you ACTUALLY want or need someone to save or help you. Always when you have things handled or even when it's a complete non-issue. Like "oh you had sex w someone older that's iLLeGaL." Ok??? Leave me tf alone tho??

Idk the systems that were supposedly there to protect me only served to harm or at the very least wildly inconvenience me and the people who were most self-proclaimedly "helpful" were usually the most happy to ruin my life for their stupid white knight shit. If you want to play hero and expose someone to something you don't even know anything ab cuz u never went thru it... stop. Stop playing hero. Stop thinking u can save everyone with ur by-the-book mini-cop shit. No one likes you. Even normal people think you're a whiny lil snitch with nothing better to do than stick your nose in someone's business.

#i literally hate people who want to play hero to random strangers without knowing anything ab the situation #i hate them so so much #rant #delete later #literally how much less traumatized i'd be if the wrong people stopped trying to play hero #if you've EVER been a snitch/hero and called the cops or something on someone who wasn't a threat to you because you 'wanted to help'#genuinely stay so far the fuck away from me #u EVER do that shit to someone I am straight up cutting you off idec if we're besties #stop pretending u know shit about fuck and don't involve urself in other people's shit unless they ask you to #it's that simple #some of y'all seem WAY too comfortable with the idea of turning someone's life upside down for ur stupid moral-legal-bullshit #the only time u should be involving the law is if someone has killed harmed or sa'd someone u know #and u know they wanna pursue this mf and get their ass #ik y'alls idea of justice matters more than victims to u but listen #not everyone who's gone thru something fucked up wants you to force them in a position where they have to relive it over n over to stranger #not everyone who gone thru that wants to be examined like evidence not everyone wants to sacrifice their time and mental health for justice #idk i wish people gave half a fuck about what actual specific victims of diff things want and think rather than just acting like its their #own problem and dealing w it how theyd deal w it. its not ur problem. take the fucking backseat and stfu

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ipusingularitae · 4 months

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my dad: *telling me i do have socialization deficits, that i need to step out more and interact with people and look like i am part of the environment and that i am "there" and present*

me, knowing damn well i have socialization deficits and feeling overwhelmed in social situations, especially when I don't feel like i fit and when I don't know the other people: ... okay

my dad: did you get upset with me telling you this?

me, dissociating so I don't start crying in front of him: ... no

#like it's not that I think he shouldn't have told me that #because unless he tells me i have no idea what he's thinking and I'll just go about doing my stuff #but it's kinda upsetting to know that on those situations that I'm feeling like shit and wanting to cry #and that i just start using reading as a way to feel better on the situation #I'm actually looking like j don't wanna be there at all and that I'm in a bad mood #like- i am not. I'm just so overwhelmed that I can't think straight so i need to use this to regulate #maybe if i start using a sign saying “I'm not upset if you wanna talk just start the conversation” things might work #idk it's frustrating bc it's not that I don't wanna interact at all it's just so fucking hard #and i feel like ppl knowing that you're neurodivergent means that they can isolate you instead of just looking for better ways to interact #this is so fucked up #like yeah i can make an effort and mask as i do all the fucking time #but at the same time i know that the main reason i do this is bc ppl also don't wanna look for other interaction options #anyway that was a big rant #autism #actually autistic #autistic #neurodivergent #personal #life stuff

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campingwiththecharmings · 3 months

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me whenever someone gives me unsolicited opinions about myself:

#thinking about the time a friend of mine did this #and she does this a lot bc she's older and ofc sees herself as 'more knowledgeable' or w/e #which hey sometimes she is #mostly i take her opinions with a grain of salt but she said something to me recently that just #idk it rubbed me the wrong way. and i keep thinking about it.#ider what we were talking about but somehow we got on the subject of romantic relationships #and i basically said i'm not opposed to one but i'm NOT looking. like at ALL. not even a little bit.#but if something happens someday great!#she proceeds to tell me literally right after i say this #that i should work on my appearance then because i'm 'a little plain'. not ugly or anything just...plain.#which hey i know already btw and it doesn't really bother me #i wear make up and am not against it at all. i think it's amazing to see what people can do with it tbh.#and if people wanna wear it i'm all for it #i personally don't like the way it feels on my skin so i use as little as possible #just enough to cover things like my acne scars or other imperfections that i feel self conscious about #i'd love to get to a point where i feel comfortable NOT wearing make up actually #and that's not even to say that i'd NEVER get dolled up or whatever #it's just not something i enjoy doing on a regular basis ya know?#and honestly? any future partner i have should be aware of that bc you're gonna get plain ol' non-makeup-wearing me 99% of the time #and if that's a problem with them then i don't even wanna waste my time on them #so yeah when she said this to me i was annoyed #bc fr wtf does that have to do with me not looking for a partner??? lol #*sigh* ik she was probably just trying to help in her own way but like #just don't k? k.#/rant #sorry i had to get that out somewhere lmao #it's been driving me crazy #ignore me

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bluesidedown · 7 months

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hnnnnnnnnngggggggg

#everything is Hard today ugh #i am anxious because i need to respond to some emails and deal with some student loans stuff that i've been putting off #and i frankly don't want to do anything. at all.#and i really should go out and figure out how to take the bus and explore the city a bit more #but that's frankly exhausting levels of effort actuallyj #and if i could bribe myself with going to a nice little coffee shop somewhere and hanging out there for a while i could maybe #convince myself. but that's hard too!#because i would have to do the thing where i look like an idiot when i order because idk quite how it works here and i don't speak enough #of the language to actually do that #and then idk what the acceptable kinds of coffee shop activities are. like am i gonna be super weird if i bring my laptop or a book #and hang out for a couple hours alone? idk. and also will they have wifi at the coffee shop? also do not know #and i should just bite the bullet and ask someone about it but that feels hard too because asking people things is hard. and honestly #i should just schedule in a good little cry but i don't wanna. ugh.

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rogersstevie · 7 months

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i know it's just like, part of the show and like they probably did not realize what a monster they created with dean so of course they're not gonna have any of the characters acknowledge it and definitely not lorelai but it's crazy the things she does and how often she actually sides with dean over her own daughter

during the first breakup she's angry at him for hurting rory but then the second she finds out WHY he broke up with her she's like "oh i see now, i hate that you're afraid to say i love you" (which was a huge assumption on her part that it was all down to rory's fear and not that she just might not have been feeling it yet three months into her first relationship) instead of the reaction that she should have had which was: "that is a fucked up reason to break up with you and you should not ever feel pressured to say i love you back" AND THEN maybe she could get into talking about how it might be scary but if rory is actually feeling it, she should learn to take the leap and say the words anyway

there's at least two or three instances of mentioning how much he calls/making jokes about stalker behavior and i'm just like. okay i could sort of get it in the honeymoon phase if you're just that obsessed with each other but i don't see rory being that type in a relationship like she very clearly cared deeply and did fall in love with him but like, it definitely doesn't feel like a mutually obsessed with each other situation, it feels like he's the one in constant need of her presence (see how in 2x16 she says she wants a night alone and he shows up anyway)

but like 2x15 where she lays into jess about the bracelet and how important it is to rory (though he did not take it out of malice and he put it in her room BECAUSE rory was so distressed) instead of realizing how insane it is that rory is afraid to tell her boyfriend she lost something he gave her because she knows he'll make it a bigger thing than it is (like sure tbf she IS starting to feel less in that relationship than she once did but losing the bracelet has nothing to do with that)

or say 2x09 she sees rory freaking about dean and tristan interacting and dean potentially finding out about the kiss and lorelai herself acknowledges that it would hurt dean to find out rory and tristan kissed after they broke up even though ya know he dumped rory on their anniversary and she was heartbroken and even later she tries to help rory convince dean not to come to rehearsal to help her daughter prevent a fight that should not happen bc rory did not cheat on him!! like i understand it would be upsetting to find out your partner kissed someone the day after you broke up but like. rory was allowed to do whatever she wanted because she was single

and on a different note in 2x19 i think lorelai treats it differently because it's jess and she simply doesn't want rory to be connected to him but when she asks lorelai to tell dean she's with lane if he calls, she reacts instead like "oh i don't wanna lie to dean" though she knows damn well it will be a big thing if he learns rory is tutoring jess, that he will not be able to accept rory spending one on one time with him when he couldn't even handle her hanging out with him and paris in 2x16 ("he must have been crazy mad last night" lorelai says the next day when while she was not there to witness the whole thing she DOES know that rory was sharing a meal with two friends and dean showed up and freaked out) and that's proven when he returns home and finds out about the car accident and it shifts from concern at seeing rory injured to angrily kicking his duffel bag when she hands him a letter (because god she's too afraid to just say it and begs him to keep reading i hate it i hate it i hate it)

and it's funny that she "doesn't wanna lie to dean" when she gets involved in their relationship on other occasions like 2x13 he goes running to lorelai about jess and rory going off together when jess buys her basket and later lorelai goes on about her and dean's concerns about rory hanging out with jess like the two of them are teamed up to keep rory away from him it's just sdkjfks

it's so frustrating because fandom goes on about rory's infidelity (though it's yet another thing they ignore when it comes to paris cheating on her long time boyfriend in a full blown affair which hey if they were at least pointing out the way she was manipulated by an older man at only 19 then that would be different but they're really not or lorelai and christopher sleeping together while he's still very much in a relationship with sherry) and i HATE cheating i do but i will generally give fictional characters a pass for a slip up (like her kisses with jess while with dean and logan bc each were one time instances) so the only valid one to me to be mad about is sleeping with dean while he was married but even that he lied to her and told her the marriage was over even though it wasn't and also it was just a dumb plotline for the drama of it all but we're not gonna get into that now

but the point is like....at every turn everyone particularly lorelai was going on about how perfect her relationship with dean was and how good he is to her despite all evidence to the contrary so of course rory was confused and felt she had to stay with him. if not for lorelai being overly involved rory might've been able to just get out of that relationship, whether it was to be with jess or not, she could've realized how uncomfortable and arguably unsafe she felt and also that her love for him wasn't what it once was but instead she stayed because she felt obligated to and somehow rory is in the wrong for stringing dean along when lorelai was trying to push her closer to dean and away from jess (in fairness in 3x01 she did say rory had to decide between the two but she's also going on about how patient and supportive dean has been - not true - and sort of implying that jess couldn't be serious about her so like that along with jess/shane probably influenced rory's decision to try to stay with dean longer)

like it really seemed like she at least in part was trying to keep rory with dean just so she wouldn't be with jess but also even before jess came into the picture and was really a hindrance in rory and dean's relationship, lorelai saw all this shitty behavior from dean whether directly or just from rory telling her (who could have downplayed it but we didn't see a lot of those scenes in the aftermath of dean being shitty and possessive and whatnot) but it's just like oh my god how many times can you see all this and knowing your daughter and what kind of person she is still figure that she's in the wrong and dean is in the right instead of seeing that there are deep issues in the relationship that are not and never have been rory's fault

#long post #gilmore girls #lorelai gilmore #rory gilmore #anti dean forester #idk if this comes off as an anti lorelai post like i do like lorelai to be clear #i just hate how she is about the entire relationship it's really upsetting to say the least #i'm sure there's other things i'm not thinking of i only just finished season 1 in my rewatch #anyway yeah just a general rory gilmore deserves better post lol it's crazy in the examples listed here #how much of fandom acts like she really was in the wrong like she was in an abusive relationship #and i know you don't wanna admit that because the show never framed it as such but that's what it was!#i'm Tired

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