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teaboot · 7 days

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Forgive me if you’ve already answered something similar but how do you deal with crushing guilt when you did fuck up but there’s not really anything you can do to like make amends or you’ve already done anything you could and still feel guilty?

Like I know the guilt isn’t productive at all, if anything it’s just paralyzing me, and mentally beating myself up over it isn’t actually helping anyone. But I don’t know where to go from there. Idk how to actually forgive myself, or at least be able to move on

CW FOR SELF HARM

Okay, so this is something I've had to work through for a very long time myself, and there's a few different strategies that I've used to cope and process with varying levels of success.

What I used to do was handle the "I've ruined everything and hurt people and am never going to be forgiven" feeling by hurting myself in a number of creative and stupid ways, from physical hurt (Everything you'd expect) to mental hurt (wallowing, speaking badly of myself, going over the bad thing over and over again in my head) to passive hurt (neglecting my health, not eating properly, failing to pursue good living conditions, letting others hurt me, deliberately wandering into risky situations) and despite any short-term relief or peace I got, none of it ultimately fixed anything.

At the end of the day, making myself suffer as retribution or apology didn't fix the thing I'd done and didn't make the guilt go away, and all it gave me was an additional sense of shame and isolation because now not only was I a garbage person, I was a garbage person with something to hide from my loved ones. Zero out of ten, do not recommend.

The stuff that DID help was harder and is going to sound stupid because *I thought it was stupid* until it worked for me.

First: Learn the difference between GUILT and SHAME.

GUILT is how you feel about your choices.

SHAME is how you feel about yourself.

"I was late to a date again, that was inconsiderate": GUILT. The issue can be resolved by analyzing the reason behind the action and planning steps to avoid repeating it in the future. Guilt is productive because it motivates us to improve our choices. Once you've corrected the behaviour, it's over.

A"I was late to a date again, I'm inconsiderate": SHAME. The issue can be resolved by asking ourselves:

What negative thing to I believe about myself?

What other experiences support this belief? What evidence do I have that the bad thing is true?

Do those previous experiences have anything in common? Where they actually proof of a personal lack, or did someone just tell me they were? Were my choices and actions understandable? Did I have a reason? Was I trying to hurt others, or was it a mistake, accident, or learning experience? Have I grown from that experience?

Can I forgive myself for the past? What do I need to do to forgive myself for those past events? Was I really at fault at all, or was it out of my control?

Accept that.

Your present traumas and shames often have roots in beliefs you had about yourself before the new shameful thing occurred. When you dig into resolving the issues that led to today, you can use those conclusions to work through tomorrow. This is something I learned in cognitive behavioral therapy.

There are a number of ways of unpacking these questions, but as I felt I was deliberately avoiding my thoughts and feelings, I chose to jump into them directly, and found it to be effective.

You can write things down, talk to someone, paint something, draw something, whatever. Whatever at all works for you.

My solutions was to find a comfortable place on the floor, sit down, close my eyes, and do box-breathing (in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4) while deliberately thinking about every upsetting memory attached to a specific bad belief that I could recall until I had nothing left to go over.

Judge and jury. Was I a bad person, or did I make a mistake? Did I have malicious intentions, or did someone accuse me of malicious intentions? Am I bad, or have I been conditioned to believe I'm bad? And at the end of it all, am I capable of better? Do I want to be better? And would a truly bad person care?

It was more emotional than I expected the first few times. Cried a lot, actually. But if I can liken it to a common feeling, it was like getting out of a very thorough shower and realizing you didn't know how dirty you were before.

The process sucks ass, no lie, but it's worth it. Like draining pus from a gnarly wound to get it healed up properly.

I'm not an expert, of course, but life has gotten better since I started. I'm better at forgiving myself, at least.

Also: Some people will never forgive others even for tiny things. Sometimes once you've done your best, you've just gotta say "fuck 'em". C'est la vie, mon amie.

Good luck, yeah?

♡

#Self harm cw #Guilt and shame

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kebriones · 1 year

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Okay here we go.

Reviewing all old paintings of Alcibiades I can find, part 1

Starting off with the classics. THIS HELMET, I HATE IT I HATE IT. What is it supposed to be?? He's wearing it like one would wear a Corinthian helmet in rest (pushed back on the head rather than down over the face) or at least from the shape of the metal part I would assume it's a corinthian helmet, but all the golden thingies on its front?? Are you meant to be blind when wearing this thing in battle? New technique?? And anyways why is he even wearing it. And one last thing about the helmet which you'll see is a reccuring theme: why does it have feathers. Unless i am forgetting something, fancy helmet crests were made from horse hair.

Moving on from the helmet, i have to say that even though I don't agree with it, his color choice for the outfit is....brave. green with pink. It works I guess, because he looks so confident in it. The sash tied around his middle is kinda whatever but the way he's holding his clamys???? I'm swooning. Very good hand.

Socrates' color choices are also quite bold today. Were they going to a fashion show? Is he advertising IKEA? Who knows. His skin is vet nicely painted though, I like it a lot.

Now of course we need to mention the angel behind Socrates who has a bit of fire on their hair. Is that the holy spirit? Is this some criminal anachronism??!! The angel seems to be judging Alcibiades' "sinuous" pose (i learned a new word yesterday and I feel like I'm using it wrong but I wanted to use it okay. "Sinuous". Idk. Sinuses.)

Moving on to something different. Alcibiades and Pericles! How cute is that, they're bonding like family. Or they're discussing the grocery list. I like Alcibiades' chiton and his hair and how his hand is casually draped over a helmet. Speaking of helmets, look how nice and accurate these are. No feathers anywhere. Also Pericles is wearing his helmet to hide his weird alien head presumably, so this is very legal and we won't execute the artist for drawing Pericles with a naked head.

Here's one of many depictions of Alcibiades' death. The anatomy is good, I very much enjoy that. I also really really like his face. Dark haired Alcibiades works better in paintings imo. His pose is kinda wayy too dramatic, that or he slipped on some lube i mean olive oil on his way out. Anyways he's not doing a very good job defending himself. The lady is trying, I'll give her that, but she's not doing enough. The attacker guy is.... wearing pants, but his top isn't very Persian so that's off-putting.

And of course we can see the javelin sticking out of Alcibiades' side but in my professional opinion, if he was lucky he could survive that wound if it didn't pierce any major organs. He just needed some bed rest and he'd be good to go. Alas, he died. But yeah overall I like this one a lot.

Okay so this one I'm 99% sure it's Alcibiades, if I'm wrong let me know. The dark figure on the left is definitely Socrates, I would recognize him anywhere. I really like this even though Alcibiades looks like his twelve, because he's sitting on some lady's lap, surrounded by other ladies, as he's having his actual lesson with Socrates. Like he's taking notes and everything gfhdgsj he's raising his hand he has a question let him speak.

Also how cute is his hair?? Someone give this child some ice cream.

Here we have no Socrates, which is quite rare. BUT we once again have a very stupid helmet that makes zero sense. And a vey stupid sash that also makes zero sense. But at least we have some drama, like, what's going on here? Is she refusing him??? Is she offended?? Who knows. Anyways very cool fabric rendering but why is Alcibiades so.... barrel-chested. It's kinda scary. Also who's that snitch back there. Does she wanna join.

Overall, I like the colors and the environment here, and the poses are fun. Alcibiades looks like he's reciting poetry but he's so drunk the only thing he remembers is the ship list from the iliad, so that's what he's reciting, and his girlfriend is having a hard time enduring this torture.

Old painters really like putting helmets on head that didn't need them. Like they're IN A BEDROOM why is he in full tactical gear.

This one is one of the weirder ones. I don't know why the vibes are just weird. Socrates is holding his oscar. What did he get an oscar for. I like his outfit it's like he's wearing a shower curtain or a beach towel. Alcibiades on the other hand is straight up naked. Like, that's the level of confidence and comfortableness we should all aspire towards. But I don't like his face, they didn't even try to make him pretty.

Not to mention that Socrates fell into a tub of bleach apparently. Blonde Socrates is even more illegal that unhelmeted Pericles. Maybe that's why i find this piece so strange. This isn't Socrates, this is santa claus.

I do however think the pose is very Alcibiades-like. He would absolutely look at Socrates like that.

Last one for part 1, we have this one! The classic, beloved theme of Socrates taking Alcibiades away from his girlfriends. "Why don't you go play with the boys, Alcibiades? " said Socrates.

No wait wrong story.

Anyways i like this because it has some davinci-ness to the colors and faces and Alcibiades' hair is cute and the girl in white is really trying her hardest to pull him back.

I also like that gigantic column in the back, suggesting that these maniacs were planning on having an orgy right at a temple. They even brought a whole bed over there.

Last thing i like about this one is the way Socrates isn't even really holding onto him. Alcibiades has this haunted/far away look and Socrates can make him follow him just by touching his arm, rather than pulling on him like the girl is. That's because Socrates was half siren, his father had actu

#Alcibiades #Socrates #part 2 coming soon

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seth-burroughs · 2 months

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Soldier anon back from the trenches and. Um. I was going to do a really deep dive into this but then I was sick + took psychic damage from the wiki so this is as far as I got 🙏🙏🙏

Hate crimes (Against detectives?)

Ethnic persecution (Of detectives?)

Mass murder (Chapter 0 detectives)

Attempted genocide (Against detectives?)

Abuse (Whatever he has going on with Electro)

Abuse of power, Slander, Corruption, Police Brutality (The Game)

Extortion (The church?)

Propaganda (Runs a dictatorship)

Bribery (Chapter 1, from the church)

Money laundering (?)

Sabotage (Submarine go boom)

Wrongful executions (Cube)

Torture (Cube)

Psychological abuse (Whatever he had going on with Electro)

Blackmail (Yakou wife, maybe?)

Child abuse (Treament of Kurumi when she's suspected of murder?)

Animal Cruelty (I guess he goes run a dictatorship? Peacekeepers have probably crueled animals under his name)

Coercion

Physical and psychological abuse (Whatever he has going on with Electro)

Defilement (???)

Incrimination (????)

Sexual harassment (Whatever he has going on with Electro)

Arson (The submarine?)

Murder (Chapter 0)

Psychological manipulation (Whatever he has going on with Electro)

Attempted murder

Unlawful imprisonment (He runs a dictatorship send tweet)

Stalking (The cameras he has? I guess?)

Assault (Clobbering Yakou with his Gucci doc martens)

Treason (Blows up property)

Terrorism (Blows up property, runs a dictatorship)

Slavery (??????)

Thank you for your bravery soldier anon here is me trying to make sense of these

Once again I can't believe detectivephobia is a canon form of bigotry in the Master Detective Archives: Rain Code universe but that's on me for being ignorant. I'm sorry detectives

I think the "attempted genocide" part refers to the earlier crackpot theory of Yomi actually wanting to nuke Kanai Ward all along and build cube factories over it's ashes, but could also refer to the killings of the detective nation.... if you think about it Yakou was at the moment literally the last of his kind at Kanai Ward before he got got with the gas which is so fucked up omg I can't believe Yomi would do this #yomiisoverparty #tw yomi hellsmile mention

Okay so this may get me burned on the stake like the witch I am, buuuuut I don't think his, uhh... *gestures* with the woman named Martina Electro also known as Swallow Electro, can really be considered 100% abuse. We only got a single scene of them together alone, in which he does kick her but she very visibly has zero problem with it I cannot overstate how much she did not give a fuck. I believe if we take into account him literally was sitting on her right beforehand, I'm pretty sure they were still doing their disgusting little kinky five shade roleplay up until he Got Weird With It (The Cube). Like I don't deny their wretched situationship was best comparable to a disastrous trainwreck that left 87654 injured and 2 survivors, but I swear some people are acting as if Martina was some helpless battered housewife that got waterboarded by Yomi every day and not the 3rd most powerful person in Kanai Ward after Yaoi and The Mask (by Dream). Like, strictly canonwise, their relationship was way more harmful to literally everybody else unfortunate enough to be in their vicinity, than any of them. Like was that comprehensible? Idk man I'm barely alive rn I ate a lot of khachapuri today

Extortion was Seth's and Seth's proud achievement only >:(((((( Why are you discrediting him..... In the end Yomi always ends up taking everything from him...... no joke Seth and detective are two of the most opressed species in Kanai Ward still

I think money laundering refers to him being stated (by Makoto) to..... wait no wait but wasn't that like, he got promotions by the, by bribing people around the world with the money- no but didn't he obtain the money like illegally no was that or that stated can't remember fuck I cannot think for shit rn aouuuughhh christ. I can relay most of what was going on from my canon/source/whatever the fuck yall call it, but concerning the game canon??? chapter 5 mystery labirynths like a not real to me anymore its been long before man. um anyway ignore this i fel like i havent said anything even

Treatment of Kurumi was actually, as far as I checked, 100% on Martina <3 Seth and women get discredited of their achievements so often omg

animal cruelty I have NO idea. but maybe this could refer to the scrapped lost media 6th DLC where Yomi launched 27 puppies with a catapult directly at Yakou's submarine. And the defilement section could refer to how I felt reading the

As far as I'm aware the sub was never really set on fire, so I believe the "arson" part might actually refer to when I bounced with m. No you know what nvm this is not worth it moving on

stalking I have no idea I guess the detectives felt very stalked it's so hard being a detective in modern kanai ward the people are so intolerant

The slavery bit......... Somebody else do that for me I cannot do this anymre my final message I'm going to the kitchen

#mine #ask #yomi slander files saga

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novannna · 2 years

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Okay so like def 🖊 hmmm and also 💖, 🧠 and 💋 (which is freeform so I am gonna ask: fave couple to write (fic or ocs))

(Also you know how when you go to like a pastry place and you point out pastries for the person to put into a box for you? Thats what this ask feels like) (completely unrelated to how I bought pastries today btw) (AFTER I dropped off Alex so again. Not date bc I didn't like. go home and twirl in a circle and stare out a window or some shit)

Sometimes I forget that other ppl can read the asks I send yall

hi michstie afsfsgkf i want pastries now also ha imagine having a crush on someone and going on a date with them thats so fucking lame omg go bring me some pastires plss <33 im tired can u tell

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP.

hm okay i have not written in a little while but my current personal wip <33 also its kinda long but whatever <3

“What did you do, Merle?”

Merle let out a long suffering sigh. “You really want to know?”

“Really, really.” Strangely, Lapis didn’t sound as angry. She just sounded tired.

Merle laughed. “My screw up that got me sent all the way out here…” Lapis leaned forward, eyes gleaming. Merle hummed thoughtfully. “I existed.” Lapis jerked backwards as Merle cackled. “Horrible, isn’t it?”

“What are you?” Lapis’s voice softened, and there wasn’t a shred of anger left.

Merle tilted her head. “A bird, a bone, a wish, a curse.”

“Stop speaking in riddles, and answer the question.”

“I did. Take your pick, or choose your own answer, it’s all close enough to the truth.”

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

hm i like how I can be really overdramatic and use metaphors that make absolutely zero sense to anyone other than me bc i can! Also i really like my character designs i come up w i think theyre v funky

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

kinda a wip but not really, a sasha character study where i overuse the number 3, sasha is even more manipulative than in canon, and shes way more traumatized than amphibia showed

💋 fave couple to write (fic or ocs)

HHHHH FUCK YOU i dont knowww

hm okay i feel like for fic, i dont really have any that i really love writing more than others. for oc's,,, probably slordan theyre just so <333 i love writing assholes who hate eachother and would also die for each other, also Lapis and Merle, they arent a couple, just very close friends but they deserve an honorary mention, theyre just very !!!! i really like their characters, and how they interact w eachother, and help eachother grow, and how they will always inevitably make each other worse idk currently brainrotting yeah

#ask #ask game #ty!#mich tag

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sage-nebula · 2 years

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super happy to see alan today! not so happy to see how this battle was treated though. alan deserved better than this. leon deserves better than this. this is an insult to them both,

Don't forget Lizardon!! He deserved better too, why did they draw his knockout like that 😭 He looked like he was killed fr, my boy didn't deserve that.

But yeah, the battle was really not great. Alan having a random Chesnaught and Malamar (???) aside, him having Lizardon use Flare Blitz against Zar-Zar just . . . makes no sense. Where was Thunder Punch? Lizardon knows Thunder Punch! Thunder Punch would have not only been Super Effective against Zar-Zar, but with the Tough Claws damage multiplier it would have hit even harder. Alan showed that he strategizes that way multiple times back in TSME and XY&Z (for instance, when he specifically swapped out Steel Wing for Thunder Punch to deal with Ash's Greninja, or when he trained his Metagross in the Agiligross strat to make up for its lack of speed). It seems that along with forgetting the fact that he was recovering and doing better mental health-wise after leaving Lysandre's service, they also forgot that Alan is a competitive battler who trains and strategizes like one. Because there is no way, no way, that he would have used Flare Blitz instead of Thunder Punch in that scenario. Not when Leon's Charizard would take only half damage from a fire-type attack, instead of the 130% damage increase he would have gotten from Thunder Punch (super effective + tough claws damage). It makes zero damn sense.

But all that said, we know why it happened. It happened because they didn't want to spend more than just this one episode on the battle, and half the episode had to be taken up with Ash shenanigans since he's the main character 🙄hell, originally we weren't even supposed to see this battle, or any of the other ones; it was supposed to just be still images. So it wouldn't surprise me if the other Masters 8 battles that aren't Ash vs. Leon are done in the same way. RIP to Steven, Iris, and probably Diantha.

The complaining about the battle aside though, honestly my biggest complaint is that we didn't get to see him really interact with anyone. Cynthia was standing nearby him when Ash and Iris entered, so I guess it's possible they were talking before the two kids came in (perhaps about Alan's mega evolution excavations and research?). But Steven was on the opposite side of the room from him even though those two have a history of friendship. Diantha similarly wasn't talking to him even though they both come from Kalos and Diantha has a known history of friendship with Sycamore, so they probably actually already know each other. Ash smiled and nodded at him, but Alan for some reason didn't smile back even though those two are friends and parted with huge smiles and a handshake the last time they saw each other. I'm glad that we got to see Sycamore and Manon watching his battle and rooting for him, but it sucks they didn't get to be there in Wyndon with him (even if Sycamore couldn't leave the lab for whatever reason, which I don't believe, why couldn't Manon go?), and if this is the last time we see Manon in the series, then we're ending on her crying, which . . . kind of sucks tbh. Maybe she and Sycamore will go to Wyndon now to try to catch Alan before he goes off to travel or train or something and we'll see them again that way, but I kind of doubt it.

I don't know, it's just kind of disappointing. It's possible that this isn't the last we'll see of him; maybe Ash will have some last minute issues with his Lucario's mega evolution and Alan will offer him guidance or something. I am glad that he was seen smiling when he shook Leon's hand at least, but yeah, idk. I agree that everyone involved deserved better. At the same time though, I have been saying for literal years that I didn't want Alan to come back to the anime because I didn't trust the writers to do him justice, and I was 100% right to feel that way. I wish I wasn't! I wish they had proven me wrong! For a split second it looked like they were going to prove me wrong by not having Alan lose to Ash to appease the rabid stans / Alan haters, but alas, I was not wrong. They just found another way to disrespect and not put much thought into him. Ho hum. It's just the way these things go, I guess. Good thing I don't give much of a toss about canon anymore, so in the end it doesn't bother me that much. I'll just go back to ignoring canon like I always do :P

#emexceedschangezearu #at least Iris got to be SUPER FUCKING ADORABLE this episode tho #it's what she deserves ♥#pokeani spoilers #anipoke spoilers #pokemon spoilers #ALSO you shouldn't use Flare Blitz with Charizard anyway unless your Charizard also knows Roost due to the recoil damage #does Lizardon know Roost? He should if Alan is going for a Flare Blitz build #but I don't think we saw any evidence of that #but also that's another reason not to FB against another Charizard - bc it's Not Very Effective PLUS the recoil dmg #TSME / XYZ Alan would never #smh these writers don't understand him at all

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makeste · 4 years

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BnHA Chapter 291: The Endeavor Pamphlet

Previously on BnHA: Dabi showed up atop Gigantomachia’s back and was all “you’ll never guess who I really am!” and the readers humored him and were all “who?” and he was all “TODOROKI TOUYA” and we were all “WOW └(・。・)┘ OH MY GOSH I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED”, except for Shouto and Enji who were GENUINELY SHOCKED. Anyway so Touya was all “and guess what I’m doing right now!” and before anyone could even try, he was all, “STREAMING MY EMMY-NOMINATED MINISERIES ‘HELLO, I’M EVIL BUT ALSO TRAGIC AND SEXY, NOW LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY DAD WHO SUCKS’’, THAT’S WHAT.” And everyone was all “oh my god” and Touya was all “ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪” for basically the rest of the chapter, and that’s pretty much it! Oh, wait, except for the part where he also doused himself in bleach in a fit of pure theatrics, which is actually pretty much the main takeaway from the entire chapter really because it was just wild af. ANYWAYS.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi introduces Baby Touya, the world’s most enchantingly sweet character, and is immediately all, “I sure can’t wait to tell you guys all about how his fucking jaw burnt off.” Thankfully he doesn’t (YET), and we cut back to the present pretty quickly, where Dabi explains how he took all of his brain cells that should have been used to stop him from pouring bleach over his head, and instead put them all toward his big brain plot of releasing an elaborate video detailing Endeavor’s various abuses and crimes, and even throwing Hawks under the bus as well because WHY NOT. He then leaps off of Gigantomachia’s back (like I said, no brain cells) all set to blast them with a Prominence Burn, only to be stopped by none other than THE LEGEND HIMSELF, MOTHERFUCKING BEST, PRETTIEST, NICEST, MOST OUTSTANDING MOTHERFUCKING JEANIST. Who’s no doubt outraged by the crime against hair he witnessed only moments earlier. GO GETTIM JEANY BOI.

so I haven’t had time to answer any of them because this has been the stupidest week, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I received no fewer than nine asks about Dabi’s hair. which, in a week filled with election memes and tumblr’s most cursed fandom briefly rising back up from the dead, is a pretty impressive feat for him if you ask me. like, I know I was making fun of it basically nonstop, but it sure did generate a lot of discussion so maybe I should rethink my opinions on Dabi’s PR strategies now, idk

anyway. it’s Saturday. time to catch up on this shit. let’s see how fucked the Todorokis are

OH NO HE’S CUTE

HOLY SHIT THIS IS TOO MUCH TO FUCKING PROCESS. I’M JUST TRYING TO ENJOY MY DAY HORIKOSHI, ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO TRAUMATIZE THIS POOR CHILD RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD

“thanks for being all right” the fuck

who allowed this child to be so cute. I’m serious. who signed off on this

how could a child this adorable possibly want to murder his equally adorable baby brother. please, your honor. there must be some mistake here

guess how prepared I am to read all about Touya’s tragic past. mm. that’s right. zero ready. none ready

anyway. TWO THOUSAND DEGREES LOLOLOL. NO TRACE OF A CORPSE HOW CONVENIENT. A PIECE OF HIS LOWER JAW BONE FFFFMSGHKLSh. LOVELY. LOVELY

LMAOOOOO

listen you guys. I just want to take a moment to appreciate that Horikoshi Kouhei did one of two things here. either (1) he planned it out FROM THE VERY START that Touya would be born with red hair Because Fire Powers, but would then have his hair turn white due to trauma, thus making the Dabi/Touya connection very slightly less obvious, although Let’s Be Real Who Are We Kidding. OR, (2) the anime got it wrong and gave him red hair, and rather than allowing this plot hole to continue to exist, Horikoshi took it upon himself to concoct this elaborate storyline and pretend it was never a plot hole at all! in which case I sure hope someone at Bones is sending him a VERY nice Christmas card this year. got this man sweeping up all your messes for you. you’re just lucky he has some sort of wild compulsion to address these things

anyways!!

FATHER AND SON. how sweet. :| still zero percent ready for any of this btw

STOP BEING CUTE

THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW. HE IS THE SINGLE CUTEST CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES, and do you even know how many other baby characters I’m betraying in order to say that?! baby Kacchan, baby Deku, baby Ochako, baby Shouto, Eri, baby Hawks. I’M LOOKING YOU DEAD IN THE EYE RIGHT NOW AND TELLING YOU THAT BABY TOUYA IS CUTER THAN ALL OF THOSE PLEBS. AND YOU’RE LOOKING BACK AT ME RIGHT NOW ALL “YEAH IT SURE IS A PITY ABOUT HIS JAW MELTING OFF THOUGH.” THAT’S IT, I QUIT THE SERIES

and Enji’s smiling at him. he’s so proud of him. but then Touya won’t be able to do it, and Enji’s gonna stop training him, and Touya’s gonna feel like a failure and keep pushing himself in order to try and win his dad’s affections back, because that’s all kids fucking want, all they want is just love, that’s fucking it, you couldn’t just give him that?? and then he’s gonna immolate himself fflkdlskfh THERE YOU SEE HORIKOSHI, I KNOW THE WHOLE STORY ALREADY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THE WHOLE “SHOW THEM THE DEAD DOG” THING YET AGAIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT

OH SNAP THERE GOES THE TWIN THEORY. R.I.P.

BABY FUYUMI. PRETTY CUTE. NOT AS CUTE AS TOUYA THOUGH. HEY LOOK, NO REASON TO GET MAD AT ME I’M JUST STATING A FACT HERE

YEAH THIS IS GONNA GO REAL WELL OH BOY

I keep pressing the emergency stop button but this industrial tragedy machine just keeps on chugging along anyway, I’m pretty sure this thing is not up to code

:| I am so sorry sweet boy, Horikoshi is only getting started with you

FUCKING HELL WITH THIS NARRATION

but he wasn’t actually a child to you, he was just a little puppet child for you to live vicariously through!! and then you went and did the same fucking thing with Shouto afterwards and never learned your lesson until just six months ago!! fucking hell, Enji

so now he’s all “Touya is dead, that’s an unforgivable lie” fflkdhflk motherfucker does he look dead to you. if you really think that, tumblr and twitter have got a little over five years’ worth of archived theory posts to show you

oh shit Touya’s countering with “it’s an unforgivable truth”, which, damn. I actually think Horikoshi’s dialogue is one of his weaker points as a writer a lot of the time, but that comeback was snappy as fuck

actually guys, now that I’ve seen how ridiculously fucking cute baby!Touya was, I can almost understand why Shouto and Enji never put the pieces together before lol. any passing similarities would have easily been dismissed on account of he’d need to be at least 10x more adorable in order to get the full resemblance

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU SLEEP??? SO YOU POINT BLANK REFUSED TO PASS OUT WHILE YOU WERE BUSY MAIMING ALL OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS, BUT NOW THAT THERE’S AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE YOUR REACTION TO THE “YOUR LIEUTENANT WAS SECRETLY RELATED TO ONE OF YOUR WORST ENEMIES THE WHOLE TIME” BOMBSHELL, YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO GET YOUR FORTY WINKS. I SEE

WOW DABI

I’M SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T ALREADY HAVE YOUR ANCESTRY.COM RESULTS PRINTOUT READY TO FOLD INTO A PAPER AIRPLANE AND ZOOM ON DOWN TO HIM

LOL NEVERMIND

gotta say, so far The Endeavor Pamphlet is just about as spicy as I could have hoped

(ETA: Natsuo’s face as he watches his beloved dead brother come back to life only to literally and metaphorically set everything on fire in one fell swoop is :/. why must you do this to me Natsu. can’t you see I’m trying to throw a Welcome Back Jeanist party here.)

HAVE YOU READ THIS?! TODOROKI ENJI ABUSED HIS OWN HEIR, AND DABI WROTE IT DOWN RIGHT THERE

WELL HE’S NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT

btw I neglected to mention this last week, but yes I do recognize and appreciate that this is Can’t Ya See-kun himself whom Horikoshi has chosen to be the face of this existential crisis which the general public is about to experience. rip CYS-kun

OOF

excuse me. putting aside the implications of Dabi sharing this context-less murder video of Hawks with the entire world for a moment, I just have to pause for a sec here, because when exactly did he get a chance to edit this all in?? complete with voiceover that seamlessly ties in with the prerecorded footage of him with DNA test results sans shirt?? you’re telling me this motherfucker, with all the smoke that was in the room thanks to his own quirk, somehow got a PERFECT SHOT of the PRECISE MOMENT when Hawks drove his feather knife into Jin’s back, using his MAGIC CAMERA THAT HE I GUESS HAD THE ENTIRE TIME IN THE POUCH RIGHT NEXT TO HIS BLEACH BOTTLE, and then immediately somehow got this very next shot as well FROM AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ANGLE

ALL THE WHILE IMMEDIATELY RUNNING THROUGH SCRIPT REVISIONS IN HIS HEAD, WHICH HE THEN PROCEEDED TO RECORD... WHERE, EXACTLY?? WITH SKEPTIC, WHILST RIDING ON MACHIA’S BACK??

AND THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF???

and this after I just wrote that whole long paragraph positively GLOWING about this man’s ability to plug up a plot hole. jfc. just scratch out every damn word I said lol. just forget all of it

are you fucking kidding me, the footage was from the cameras Skeptic planted on Hawks??

that’s... actually... okay you know what, it still doesn’t make any sense in the slightest, but the determination to address it nonetheless... just, dammit... I feel like I’m constantly at war with myself over whether or not I want to shake this man’s hand or slap him lmao. whatever, then!!

anyway, since Shouto and Enji can’t actually see the damage that Touya is dealing to the hero industry even as they speak, Touya is taking it upon himself to give them the highlights

I think it’s a testament to how much Endeavor cares about Hawks that he managed to zero in on that comment even amidst all the craziness of his eldest son returning from the dead to announce how he’s been carefully plotting their destruction for years and years. like, he heard “Hawks” and his face immediately went like that. you think he’s worried that Dabi did something to him? because he’d be right to worry lol

so the Endeavor Pamphlet narration is now explaining all about how Hawks totally killed the Number 3 Hero Best Jeanist as well! yep... he sure did... totally...

OH MY GOD WE’RE CUTTING TO HIM AHHHHH

Hawks, that is. lol. not Jeanist. NO, JUST MY POOR HALF-DEAD WINGLESS BABY SON

NOOOOO HIS LITTLE WING STUMPS. BUT SOMEHOW HIS FACIAL HAIR IS STILL INTACT. OH TO BE AN ANIME PRETTY BOY BEING SET ON FIRE. “HEY, TAKE IT EASY, WATCH THE FACE”

EXCUSE ME WHAT

interesting! we suspected as much, I think, with the clues that Ending dropped, and the little flashback right after the name reveal. still not clear how Dabi found out about it though!

looooool okay here we go, breaking out the heavy-handed holier-than-thou shit now

you know, I do find it interesting how trying to model themselves after All Might’s noble Symbol of Peace image has kind of ended up being the heroes’ undoing here. like, I could write a whole essay on this, but what it basically boils down to is that they were all trying too hard to be perfect. All Might went out there and did his thing and was amazing, and so the powers-that-be built an entire system centered around this seemingly-infallible person, and they acted like the system was infallible as well. and so most of the population ended up becoming complacent over the years, and meanwhile the people who were unfortunate enough to fall through the cracks understandably wound up disillusioned and perceiving the heroes as these false idols

anyway, but I think one positive takeaway from this is that the new up-and-coming generation of heroes represent a breakaway from that system. like, imo what we’re witnessing is the downfall of the Perfect Hero, and the rise of the imperfect hero. and this new generation doesn’t shy away from their failures or pretend like they never happened. they pretty much can’t pretend, because their failures are all right out there in the open for everyone to see. Bakugou Katsuki, just to name one example off the top of my very biased head, has had his own personal character journey basically play out right in front of the media’s eyes. his humiliation at the sports festival, his kidnapping by the League, and all of the fallout afterward. this isn’t someone who can ever go out there and convince the world that he’s perfect. but what he can do, instead, is show the world that he’s trying. that he’s trying with everything he has to do his best, to be the best. rather than this untouchable godlike image, it’s instead the image of someone painfully human who is nonetheless striving with everything he’s got to keep moving forward, flaws and all, and work his way to the top

and ultimately I think that’s going to be a much more positive image to send out to the world when all’s said and done. because rather than merely inspiring awe, heroes like that inspire people to take action themselves. or at least that’s what I hope! and not just Bakugou, but the others as well. we’ve got Shouto, whose own personal trauma is being aired in front of the whole nation even as I sit here ranting. we’ve got Deku, who cries at the drop of a hat, and who fought to become a hero despite being quirkless (and I think it’s only a matter of time before that eventually becomes public knowledge as well). tl;dr because I’m getting way too long-winded here, but these kids have effectively been humanized in a way that the old generation never was, and I think that’ll go a long way towards building trust between them and the people they’ll someday be protecting, and inspiring the next generation in hopefully a much healthier way

anyway so where were we. ...oh yes, Dabi was explaining that heroes only protect themselves, and is presumably building up to his grand conclusion of “therefore you should all just let the villains take over and burn down the world”

omfg. YOU GUYS

DOES CAN’T YA SEE-KUN’S SHARK FRIEND ACTUALLY CALL HIM “CAN’T YA SEE-KUN.” HE HAS A NAME YOU KNOW!! UNLESS HE LEGALLY GOT HIS NAME CHANGED TO CAN’T YA SEE-KUN. OH MY GOD

ALSO, IS THAT CAN’T YA SEE-KUN CRYING IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT THERE OMG. GIVE THIS CHILD A HUG. EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW AND HUG HIM

BAKUGOU IS BARELY HANGING ON THERE LOL. GOTTA STAY CONSCIOUS... SO MUCH TEA BEING SPILLED... FOCUS... CONCENTRATE

IIDA’S ANGLING HIS HEAD IN A WEIRD WAY, LIKE DUDE. LOOKING SUSPICIOUSLY SNUGGLY THERE. MMM THESE IIDABAKU CRUMBS

HADOU IS ALL “WHAT EVEN IS ACTUALLY GOING ON” LMAO

LASTLY, POOR SHOUTO OMFG. WHEN YOU’RE ALL FINISHED HUGGING CYS-KUN THIS CHILD NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION!!

so now Dabi’s leaping off of this ninety-foot-tall gargoyle man like that’s a normal, smart thing to do. unless he can fly too now? saw his dad doing it back at Fukuoka and was all “hmm”

OH MY GOD SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT WORD SHOUTO IS USING TO ADDRESS ENJI, THESE TRANSLATIONS LOVE TO MESS WITH MY HEAD

ENJI GET MOVING DO YOU NOT SEE THOSE TEARS!!! SNAP OUT OF IT YOU BIG TREE

AHHHHH

OH KACCHAN YOU WOKE UP A LITTLE MORE THERE, HUH

lol he and Deku both look so determined but they’re basically sitting ducks. their “oh shit” faces do look remarkably like their “TIME TO SWING INTO ACTION” faces but don’t be fooled, they have one good arm and about six pints of blood left between the two of them. looks like this one’s all on you Shouto

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH --

BAH GOD... WHAT’S GOING ON HERE... THAT’S BEST JEANIST’S MUSIC

y’all. can’t even talk right now, my brain has completely shut down lol. just. ...

°˖✧◝(￣▿￣)◜✧˖°

#bnha 291 #dabi #todoroki touya #endeavor #todoroki shouto #best jeanist #hawks #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #you guys know that scene from the end of the lion king #the part where simba is walking up to the top of pride rock #and he lets out that roar as zimmer's score soars to a crescendo #yeah baby #that's the mood rn #welcome back king

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keorami · 3 years

Text

So you know when you wanna write a funny situation but you realise that you have to come up with said funny situation? Yeah... I forgot that my sense of humor is atrocious, but at least I tried...? I couldn't focus on one long story so I decided to write several short ones instead! Hope you enjoy!

"I have the feeling you're not enjoying this sleepover very much."

Dream did not, in fact, enjoy this 'sleepover', because not only did it remind him that his only way out of this hell was stuck in here with him, but said way out had been nothing but insufferable since he got here.

"Is this about the bell-"

"You could have gotten us out of here."

Oh yeah, said way out also wasted their one chance at escaping on a fucking bell. Dream hadn't felt such anger in... he doesn't remember actually. He didn't get to feel angry often in here.

"Listen, it was a very important matter-"

He stopped listening at that point. It was the same tirade every time about clout and viewership and whatever that he honestly could care less about. Staring at and counting the cracks in the obsidian seems like a very interesting activity.

"Hey, are you listening?"

1... 2... 3...

"Dude."

4... 5... 6...

"How long are you gonna ignore me?"

7... 8- wait, didn't he count that one already?

"Look at me at least."

No, he doesn't think he will. Because then the bell will be within view, and Dream knows that if he wasn't so pathetically weak, either the bell or Techno would have been thrown into the lava by now. But he is, so he'll throw the next best thing: his body. And fuck whatever the pig might have to say about it.

"Dreeeeeam-"

"WHAT."

He whipped his head so fast his neck hurt a little. He was fully prepared to... well now he doesn't remember, because of all faces he expected Techno to make...

The fuckboy face wasn't one of them.

"Nooo don't be angry, you're so sexy haha."

Oh God, he just died and went to limbo didn't he?

He wasn't sure when exactly he collapsed on the floor, gasping for air in a mix of wheezes and coughing, but Techno was now hovering over him in panic.

"Dream please don't die, I don't want the last thing you ever saw to have been that face-"

Oh, if there was one thing he would make sure not to forget, it would have been that face.

~~~~~

"Man, I'm starving. When do we get food in here again?"

"Um, I don't know really. I guess whenever Sam is in the mood?"

"What."

"Yeah."

Sam hasn't dropped food a single time since he was locked in here. Well, add 'food' to the basic human rights Dream isn't getting. They're really treating this like a bucket list aren't they?

"It's... You'll get used to it."

Dream gives him some potatoes from his inventory, to Techno's absolute delight. At least Sam has great taste, he'll give him that. But...

"...They're raw."

"Well, obviously."

Listen. He loves potatoes. He'd say he loves them to death, if he could die. No matter how you cook them, they turn out delicious. But raw? He'd only eat them raw if it was a life-or-death situation AND he somehow had no source of heat at his disposal, and the likelihood of that situation happening is practically zero. So yeah, he doesn't like to eat them raw.

"And that's all you get?"

"If you can't eat it-"

Ah, those famous words. Now, he's fairly certain that Dream didn't mean it as a challenge, but at this point Techno is just too competitive to see it any other way. Look, you don't get to his level by being passive, okay? So it's perfectly reasonable.

What wasn't reasonable was the taste of this potato because what in the Blood God's name is this.

"What the hell is this."

"...A potato?"

"No, this is a fucking travesty."

And what a sight it was, the Technoblade swearing and ranting about potatoes, of all things. Dream could only last until "mossy cobblestone tastes better than this dry ass, stinky ass garbage" before he lost it. You gotta give him credit for lasting this long at least. Technoblade was too busy ranting to care either way.

~~~~~

This can't be happening.

"Dream."

"What."

He tries to sound neutral, but Techno can hear the snicker in his voice.

"You don't have to do this."

Surely he can reconsider-

"On the contrary, it has to be done."

Dream places a single card on the pile, which happens to be his last one. A Wild Draw 4, to rub salt into the wound. Techno decides that ending on that card should be illegal.

"Remember the deal. No bell for the rest of the day."

"NOOOOOOO!"

Unfortunately, that had been the condition he had to agree to in order to get Dream to play. Because apparently he was "ringing it all the fucking time and it was driving me crazy". There's that, and the threat that Dream would jump in the lava again if he refused. So clearly he had a choice in the matter.

He knew that there was a chance he could lose... but he had deemed it low enough to ignore it. How could he not expect the resident chessmaster of the SMP to utterly trounce him in UNO? He was a fool, and now he has to think about how to make up for the lost clout and money.

At least, judging from the quiet snickers, someone finds his misery funny. He finds consolation in knowing that he may have lost the battle but he won the war. In a way.

~~~~~

"So I almost got mauled to death but that was how I met Steve."

Dream stares at him the way Phil does when he does something particularly outlandish and he fails to see why.

"Can I ask a question."

"Sure."

"Why would the first thing you do upon running into a starving polar bear be hugging it?"

Of course he would question it, because obviously Techno's superior intellect is confusing to the common mind. He just really likes animals, okay? Steve's fur looked so soft and fluffy he just had to touch it, he almost got his face torn off and Phil never let him live that down. But he'll sooner accept governments than let Dream know that. He doesn't want to embarrass himself too much.

"See Dream, I live by a simple philosophy."

"Long live anarchy?"

"No. Well yes, but not just that."

Dramatic silence.

"Any animal is huggable if you aren't a coward."

Dream chokes on his potato, the only one he had eaten today, and Techno worries for a second before he realises that Dream is actually laughing.

"Tech- what-" His body is shaking. "-what is wrong with you??"

"It all started when I was born-"

~~~~~

And it's enough to send Dream rolling on the ground. It wasn't even that funny, but he supposes that prison does a number on you, and Dream's sense of humor was already terrible to begin with.

...Okay, now he had to make sure that the teletubby didn't laugh himself to death.

At the end of the day- at least Techno assumes it's the end of the day, he doesn't know how trustworthy his internal clock is anymore- the two inmates of Pandora's Vault are about ready to fall asleep, but Techno has one last thing to do before that.

"Dream, come here for a minute."

Said man gives him such a wary look that he almost feels insulted.

"...Why?"

"I won't bite, ya know."

"That's... debatable."

Bruh.

"Just get over here."

And Dream complies without any further complaints. Techno hopes he didn't sound too harsh, but his cellmate wasn't shivering uncontrollably, so he thinks he's in the clear.

"What?"

Techno lays his cape down on the very uncomfortable obsidian floor. Seriously, laying down for an hour is enough to make his joints ache. 0/10 would not recommend. How did Dream- right, he doesn't have a choice.

"What are you doing?"

"Making this prison less of a living hell. Come lay down."

"...I'm fine."

Why are you being so difficult, Techno wants to ask, even though he can guess the answer. When was the last time anyone did something remotely nice for him without any catch? Especially in here?

"Stop being difficult and sleep with me already."

Silence.

"...Pft."

"You know what I meant."

In his defense, everyone has their moments, and his usually don't happen that often.

"Stop being so difficult and-"

"Just... get over here. My cape is really soft."

"Is that why you wear it all the time?"

"...Among other things."

But mostly because it was really soft.

Dream still seemed apprehensive about the whole thing, and while usually Techno would have respected his wishes and left him be... the sight of his rival curling up in a corner of the cell, obviously trying to not aggravate his injuries as he did, was saddening even to him. Prime, he's really not good at this... but Dream probably definitely needs it.

So he pulls his roommate into a side hug, which is honestly the best he can manage without ruining his image. It's awkward, Dream is way too stiff, and maybe now would be the time to say something before embarrassment kills either or both of them. Something reassuring, comforting to help Dream relax in his presence for example.

"This is gonna be the best sleepover you've ever had."

...But the day he stops relying on humor for any kind of social interaction is the day it'll either stop working or get him killed.

"...This is so stupid."

And today was not that day.

Dream lets out a laugh, shaky but genuine, and relaxes. Techno sees that as a win. Since he's stuck here for a while, might as well make his favorite teletubby's life in here more bearable.

And it's finally over! It only took me... *looks at calendar* ...time is an illusion. Idk if I'm really happy with this, but on the bright side, it's... done? Now I really wanna continue that endersmile fanfic as I got some ideas, hopefully it won't take as long? God I am a writing disaster

Also if you saw any mistakes... no you didn't :)

#dreblr #technoblr #rivalsblr #rivals duo #keo's writing #techno angrily ranting about potatoes is hilarious to me #i hc him as being very passionate about them #so he takes them very seriously #look everyone portrays c!techno as this calm and collected warrior #he farmed potatoes for 14 hours straight he definitely has dumbass energy #tfw you don't know how to be funny

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thescorpioracer · 4 years

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Sen Çal Kapımı 1 - Episode Recap

To be honest, this series of posts is mostly going to be a fashion roast. But DISCLAIMER! I really do love this show and Turkish TV in general, it’s just my preferred mode of media analysis is to pick things apart. 😂And I need everyone to know that I am very pro-women, and believe people should be able to dress how they want and not be judged for it or be looked down upon for it. But oh my god this wardrobe department/costumer needs to be STOPPED. I also have zero credentials to be talking about fashion, but will that stop me?

I’m going to make these posts assuming you’ve watched the show, and just comment on whatever comes up. There will be spoilers. Let’s go!

We start off with a voiceover from Eda Yıldız, an A+ romcom trope. (It wasn’t until my rewatch that I remembered that Eda used to do VOs at random intervals, and I’m kind of glad she stopped tbh.) She is a strong woman who wants to get her education and become a landscape architect/designer. She was all set to do that until- dun dun dun! - Serkan Bolat destroyed everything.

Check out that dart board of a man (and this is the only time we see that photo there). And these outfits are probably the most normal and reasonable clothes she wears in the show. She’s a beautiful young woman, who was a college student, and now works outdoors as a florist. 10/10 outfit.

Of course that transitions us into an epic slomo of Serkan exiting his private jet. He of course begins to berate his assistant on the phone in a way a friend described as reminiscent of The Devil Wears Prada.

@teamnick‘s commentary back when she first started the show.

Serkan returns to his office for the first time in 2 months after working on business deals in London. Chaos ensues: Miranda Priestly is baaaaaaack.

See... here we have some good fashion choices! We meet the girls for the first time, while they try to sneak off to their graduation without making Eda feel bad that she won’t be receiving her diploma. Melek “Melo” is dressed in a sweet dress with a bold, romantic color, which captures her personality perfectly. Ceren, the rich daughter from a family of lawyers, looks a bit more high-fashion. The dress is short but it has long sleeves and no cleavage so it works out to be chic and elegant. Fifi is unapologetically herself with her full-black, punk wardrobe. Eda is again dressed in a pretty, but casual outfit. Nicely put together for her lower-middle-class lifestyle and her job as a florist.

Enter: the plot device to get our protagonists together. Serkan’s face says it all.

We are then introduced to the main couple’s respective cars. Serkan has his 2020 BMW (though the show blocks out the copyrighted branding) while Eda’s beat up SUV is clearly unreliable. What’s that? Another plot device being introduced? I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Also, I just noticed this, but for someone as uptight as Serkan, I’m surprised at how fun his suit jacket lining is. If I’m not mistaken the pattern is of a bunch of rainbow fish. #Snazzy, but they seem out of character?

Plot highlights:

Eda learns she can come back to school and finish her final year, but she’s lost her scholarship and will have to pay. She can’t.

Serkan gives his talk at the graduation (?)-- Is his talk just for architecture students? If so, why are Ceren, Fifi, and Melo there? We’ll never know. I know, I know... it’s all for the ~plot~

Eda calls Serkan out in front of everyone for taking away the scholarship that she earned from his company, Art Life. He is confused but unrepentant. She refuses to tell him her name.

She tries to deface his car with lipstick after keying the side (we never hear about the damage to his car after that). He catches her and wants to call the police, so she impulsively handcuffs them together with the plot devices from Selin’s wedding invitation sitting on his passenger seat.

They then have to go to Serkan’s urgent business meeting with an out-of-town client. Eda drives while they’re handcuffed together. Bickering ensues.

What is this? Foreshadowing? Symbolism?? Eda’s last name “Yıldız” is the Turkish word for “star” so... file that away for later.

One of my favorite parts about watching Turkish dramas is the experience of trying to decipher the fan translations. Add to the fact that Turkish only has 1 pronoun *chef’s kiss*

Eda refuses to take the elevator to the 15th floor (we’ll learn about her claustrophobia later). Serkan is equally as stubborn, saying she owes him for screwing up his day. But he has met his match in Eda with regards to stubbornness. They take the stairs.

More highlights:

First instance of fake dating - they need to hide the handcuffs from his client so Eda pretends she’s his girlfriend and a fellow investor.

The girls track Eda’s phone to the hotel and try to find her by asking around the premises.

Eda charms the client into selling his land to Serkan.

We learn that Serkan is allergic to strawberries and has a lot of health anxiety. He’s a very tightly wound person.

Serkan says “Mashallah,” translator hears 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Engin brings way too many people to open the handcuffs and chaos ensues.

I feel like nothing can do justice to the comedy of 58:45 to 1:00:00 with Fifi using a bobby pin as a lock pick. The dramatic editing is 👌🏼

Leyla gets fired for somehow causing this drama??? And she is so happy to leave that stressful workplace omg, we don’t deserve her 🥺

Serkan and Eda go their separate ways, Eda prepared to never see her enemy again, but of course her phone and purse are still in his car so she has to go to his office at Art Life and confront him again.

Serkan has found out that Whoops, Art Life did cancel the study abroad scholarships to cut costs, but his CFO did it without telling him. And Serkan is pissed, but I think mainly about the fact that Eda did have some (SOME) grounds for yelling at him in public.

Leyla then explains the nonsensical reasoning behind her being fired-but-not-fired and still working. (Spoiler alert: she never goes anywhere and she is my favorite side character to this day).

Eda: “How can I piss Serkan off?” Leyla: “Find a mistake he’s made and he will fixate on it forever. But you won’t find anything.” Eda: “Hold my beer.”

Eda walks into Serkan’s office and his meeting. She gets her purse back and they fight about him not being willing to apologize for ruining her life and education. He refuses and says she owes him an apology for embarrassing him in public (no, dude).

He wants to give her back the scholarship and make it all go away but she rightly tells him that it won’t fix her broken pride from begging the company and her university for a second chance. But somehow her calling him a heartless “Robot” is what gets to him???? And he short-circuits. Eda walks out triumphant.

~dRaMa!~

MEANWHILE

Melo, as well as being a perfume sales girl, also works as a flight attendant and wants Eda to cover her shift (we’ll get into how that doesn’t make sense in a minute)

Eda says no, she’s going to meet her boyfriend, Cenk, who she hasn’t seen in months and has just returned from Italy.

Enter: Selin. Serkan’s ex who he dumped a while ago and is now engaged to the heir of a hotel empire. Serkan doesn’t like this. The two of them grew up together and are set to each inherit 50% of the holding company that Serkan’s father currently runs.

Right away Selin serves us with a gender reveal level color scheme. Personally not a fan. They confirm that Serkan is coming to her engagement party tomorrow.

Meanwhile Eda meets up with Cenk. Her outfit is still reasonable and cute for her character. He looks mildly like a hobo and doesn’t seem to have anything going for him (I know he’s a throwaway character but the two of them really don’t have anything in common).

This creeper keeps staring at them, but Cenk tries to explain it away and says he’s busy and can’t meet her again until the day after tomorrow. Eda is disappointed but accepts this. Creeper girl remains and remains a red flag to viewers, but apparently not to Eda.

Cut to later that evening, and of course our broody main man enjoys astronomy in his free time (???) idk what he’s charting and to what purpose but okay?

Eda finds a mini first aid kit in her purse that Serkan put there before returning it. Queue montage of them treating their respective wrists for handcuff-related injuries. #couplegoals

Of course we also needed a sepia-toned flashback to earlier that day when the handcuffs contrived their faces to get too close together. #romance

Finallyyyyyyy it’s morning again and a new day.

Since Eda can’t see Cenk (good, he’s so boring), she agrees to fill in as a flight attendant for Melo, who’s side job is for a private plane company.

Now. This should not be a thing. Eda was in college to be a landscape architect and now works as a florist for her aunt... Where has she learned any relevant skills to work as a flight attendant?? Presumably nowhere. And I really don’t think a private plane company would be so easygoing about just having a random person fill in to cover for her friend?

But does this show care about that? What do you think...

Also, instead of the standard white shirt, black skirt uniform requirements, the girls decide that this skimpy dress and heels is fine? Hmmm

Also lol @ Melo for assuming that the client who wants jasmine tea and fruit salad is probably a woman. And her telling Eda that the PRIVATE JET COMPANY would in fact have its own tea was very random and unnecessary.

Back at the Bolat house compound, we meet the parents: Aydan and Alptekin. We’ll see them again later. Selin’s engagement party is today.

Meanwhile Eda is just.... being a flight attendant, I guess??? And who could possibly be the passenger she has to take care of? Take a wild guess. Of course it’s Serkan Bolat.

And of course that tiny dress (THAT ALSO HAS A LEG SLIT?? WHY?? I really don’t need to see her vagina) looks very practical and professional... not! (Hande Erçel is a gorgeous human, and the dress looks good on her, don’t get me wrong. BUT THIS IS SITUATIONALLY INCORRECT ATTIRE). Also him just folding his vest and then social distancing from it... K? 😂

Eda panics and doesn’t want Serkan to see her and runs away back to her seat pod thing - Serkan takes issue with his fruit salad for ~plot reasons~ (EDIT: I’ve been informed that it’s because there was a strawberry in his fruit salad and since he’s allergic, of course it needed to be fixed. Why doesn’t the plane have a note of that??) and comes back to find this mystery flight attendant.

Eda is very stressed out about this encounter and is also starting to have a panic attack because, surprise, she’s also claustrophobic.

After Serkan calms her down, they have a cute/civil conversation for the rest of the flight.

When they land, Eda realizes they’re on an island 2h45min away from Istanbul and she isn’t sure what to do with herself (How did she not already know where they were going, as the FLIGHT ATTENDANT??? So may red flags with this private jet company).

Serkan convinces Eda to come with him and she can hang out at the beach while he’s at Selin’s engagement party.

At the engagement party we finally meet Selin’s fiancé Ferit. He’s sweet and non-threatening and clearly insecure about Serkan being Selin’s ex.

This dress/skirt outfit Selin is wearing isn’t terrible, but it doesn’t scream rich socialite to me. Anything with feathers seems... a bit tacky/too showy? Like someone pretending to be rich? Idk, this outfit isn’t one I’m going to really take a stand on.

Does this engagement party warrant being a 2h45 min flight away? No. They try to explain it away as the couple wanting to have something small and private, even though they also invite the press?? But okay whatever, as long as Serkan and Eda cross paths again, I suppose.

Kaan Karadağ has been mentioned a couple times in passing, but now we finally meet our “villain.” Ferit’s friend, and Serkan & Selin’s childhood acquaintance, who has it out for Serkan bc he somehow bankrupted Kaan’s dad? Idk and I don’t really care but tl;dr they’re enemies.

Another thing I love about Turkish dramas is the censoring. Like, they’ll allow alcohol to be on screen, but they won’t say the word and they’ll just blur out the bottle and any liquid that we’d assume is alcoholic 😂

In the evening, Serkan is tired and wants to leave and Ferit snidely jokes about how Serkan is too picky to have a fiancé of his own. Serkan flashes back to 1 entire day ago when he and Eda pretended to be dating at his business meeting, and says that actually he is engaged to someone and then peaces out.

Serkan finds Eda on the beach, and they are preparing to leave when a crowd of people (Selin, Ferit, and Kaan mainly), arrive to get a peek at Serkan’s new “fiancé.” Eda very reluctantly plays along (good thing she has that unnecessarily sexy “work” dress to help her look the part) and Serkan notices that for the first time ever, Selin is jealous of another woman. #drama

After they finally escape the crowd, Serkan makes an annoyed Eda an offer: Pretend to be his fiancé for the 2 months leading up to Selin’s wedding so he can get them to break up and prevent Ferit marrying into the company. In return, he will pay all the fees to help her complete her last year of studies in Italy.

Eda refuses, stating that she doesn’t want anything from him, and besides she has a boyfriend (Sure Jan; Cenk is such a joke). They have it out and then fly back to Istanbul. But of course the gossips at the engagement have spread the news of Serkan’s new woman so the paparazzi corner them at the airport when they land.

So glad that we got to see this random mechanic find out the news (???)

They escape the cameras and Serkan takes her home, saying that Art Life has a press conference tomorrow, and she should come so he can save face and tell everyone that she was his assistant accompanying him for work to the party. Eda agrees.

It should also be mentioned that Serkan still doesn’t know her name at this point?? She refused to tell him and Engin still hasn’t sent him the names of the scholarship candidates so it’s a bit miraculous that their relationship was at all believable.

The next day, Cenk wants to meet but Eda has to go to the press conference. The girls come too for whatever reason, and Melo is convinced that Cenk wants to propose. Eda just lets that fantasy take hold (why tho?), and Cenk shows up unexpectedly right before the press conference and takes Eda into the nearby hotel’s cafe so they can talk.

Eda seems ready for a proposal (they haven’t seen each other or really communicated in months??) but Cenk wants to break up. Eda is shocked (???) but then Cenk mentions that he has a new girlfriend from Italy that he adores, and oh by the way, it’s the creepy girl from the other night who also happens to be here right now?

Okay fine, I guess??? Cenk: “She’s doesn’t speak Turkish” Girlfriend: *clearly a Turkish actress*

Eda is upset that he brought his jealous girlfriend with him to break up with her and says something about how actually, she’s seeing Serkan Bolat now (maybe it’s just me being someone who doesn’t follow tabloids, but are business people really that popular in every day society where everyone knows who they are?). Cenk laughs at Eda, saying that everyone wants to be with Serkan Bolat, and that she’s bluffing.

Eda makes an impulsive decision, and walks away, over to where Serkan has started the press conference. And seals their fate as fake dating in the public eye.

Queue confetti. No really.

And there we have it. That’s the episode!

In all seriousness, it’s a pretty great pilot, especially for a romcom. It hits all the right beats, includes enough tropes, and tells us a lot about what we should expect in the episodes going forward. And no matter how much I make fun of it, I really do enjoy this show! It’s been such a nice distraction from Current Events. I’ve spent a lot of time watching these episodes just saying “oh my god” out loud to myself as I watch all of the cute/romantic gestures that give me a lot of second hand embarrassment (I forget that PDA makes me kinda uncomfortable 😂).

There wasn’t actually that much terrible fashion in this episode, which I didn’t notice until my rewatch. If I continue with this series of posts, I’m hoping they’ll end up being less plot-centric, and more about the situationally inappropriate outfits and strange subtitling choices.

See you next time?

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shhhlikeme · 4 years

Note

i sAW ARAN AND CAME AS FAST AS I COULD! would it be okay if you could do a oneshot where the inarizaki manager (the reader) has a crush on aran and is usually super boisterous and loud but goes super quiet and shy around him and everyone’s like 👁👄👁 - iDK IF THAT MADE SENSE 😭😭 ILY 💖💖

My demand for some Aran requests was sparked by your Aran Appreciation Day so lest not forget!! Ily too babygirl I hope your account goes back to normal soon smh.

I laughed the whole time writing this. Hope you like it:

————————————-

You Going From Reverse ‘zero to 100’ Because Your Crush Aran Ojiro Came In! 🔫

Some More Aran Ojiro x Reader Fluff 🤗 (Funny!)

————————————-

As the Inarizaki Boys Volleyball Team manager, you were responsible for a lot of things:

You had to make sure the boys were actively drinking from their designated water bottles, you brought the boys to the nurse when they were injured (Aran was currently out of commission with a sprained ankle right now😢), and you made sure to order extra uniforms because somehow Atsumu always lost his (though your school sources told you that his fan girls stole it one too many times)

You were also responsible, however, for more personal Manager duties, such as running morning practices by yourself without a coach like today, and...... sobering up the hungover boys when they are sluggish at practice BECAUSE they all went to a popular girls party last night that was thrown in their honour 🙄🙄🙄

THAT YOU TOLD THEM NOT TO GO TO! 😡😡😡😡

(Kita didn’t go because he is RESPONSIBLE)

Inarizaki girls are literally in love with the team and kinda forced them

they’re a beautiful team

so do I blame them? Nah

To wake the boys up, you shot them with your infamous ice cold water filled Super Soaker as soon as they came out of the change room, effectively getting cussed out by the twins

“We hate that thing, Y/N!” Atsumu yelled.

“Water guns in high school?! Grow up.” Added Samu.

You squirted them both again, sticking your tongue out.

“I don’t care, evil twins. I told you guys not to go to that party!”

still upset, the twins bickered with you all morning like brats

At the end of an awful practice Kita made the team a wager

“Y/N. How about some incentive to whip my team into shape, hm? If they promise to never come to practice drowsy like this again... do you promise to retire that wretched water gun once at for all? Like, for good?”

You smiled. “Ummmmm sure! But I do have to say that—“

The entire team interrupted you because they erupted in applause, hugging and dapping eachother up like they just won the lottery. Akagi ran to collect your precious water gun and altogether the team held it over their heads as if the water gun was crowd surfing. Cheering, they headed towards the trash can with loud chants of happiness.

Boiling over in annoyance (because that was your favourite water gun!!!!!) you yelled at them.

“OH BOO-HOO YOU BIG BABIES! 🤬” You were fuming at their childish behaviour, feeling your ears redden at their immaturity.

you’re one to talk ‘water gun girl’ lmaooo

Even though the boys cheered over your screams, you only made your voice louder.

“IT’S JUST WATER AND NO ONE TOLD YOU TO GO TO THAT STUPID PARTY. ACTUALLY, YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN’T GO BUT WHO DO I SEE ON SNAPCHAT DOING THE ROBOT ON THE TABLE? THAT’S RIGHT REN, I’M TALKING TO YOU! YOU COULD HAVE FALLEN AND HURT YOURSELF AND BEEN OUT OF PRACTICE & GAMES LIKE ARAN.”

The boys made a show of tossing your water gun in the gymnasiums garbage can and jumping for joy afterward. They ran around you in a circle skipping, clapping, and making a scene just to bother you.

Overly unimpressed with their behaviour, you cussed on at the jumping athletes— “Grrrrrrrr. THROWING OUT MY FAVOURITE WATER GUN DOESN’T CHANGE THE FACT THAT YOU’RE ALL IRRESPONSIBLE AND CAN’T KEEP A PROMISE TO SAVE YOUR LIVES! ALL THE CHEERLEADING TEAM HAD TO DO WAS BAT THEIR EYELASHES AT YOU BOYS AND YOU LOT WERE THERE—“

“What’s all the commotion?” Asked an obviously separate voice from behind your seething figure.

You froze. It was a voice that you knew very well. A voice that should be at home resting with a sprained ankle and not at practice right now.

Agonizingly slowly, you turned on your heels to look up at quite possibly the (secret) love of your life: Inarizaki’s Aran Ojiro. Looking handsome as ever in an oversized gray hoodie and joggers, with two crutches tucked neatly under his armpits, Aran looked down at you with an amused expression. “So am I missing practice or am I missing a New Years Eve party?” He laughed at his own cute joke and butterflies exploded in your stomach.

Quickly transforming like a bloody Pokémon or something—you linked your hands behind your back and replaced your red seething expression for an innocent, blushing, cutesy one.

The team stopped their bouncing when they saw you go from just-about-to-pop-a-blood-vessel-mad to world-peace-loving-pageant-queen-sweet in a split second.

They all stared at you like: ............

👁👄👁

❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓No Comprende❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓

“Uh, n-no commotion Aran. Everything is um....fine and dandy here.” You stared at the gym floors as you spoke quietly, a huge contrast to how you were yelling a moment ago. You used the floor to skim dirt off the bottom of your shoes timidly. Blushing, you tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear.

Kita approached you then, he was absolutely concerned with your change in behaviour because he thought you might have a brain problem of something. “Y/N. You were just screaming at the team for disobeying your orders like a monster. And as soon as Aran walked in you turned into a blushing sweet girl. Are you okay—OW!!!”

Stomping on the way-too-blunt captain’s foot in the cutest way possible, you looked up at your crush who was looking back at the team with the most confused expression. You gave Aran a shy smile like: 😊.

“Anyways, how are you feeling...Aran? Why don’t you come sit down and I’ll take a look at your ankle while the boys GET BACK TO PRACTICE, hm?”

Still bewildered as ever but unable to refuse his pretty manager, Aran returned your smile and nodded. “Uh, sure....? Whatever you say.” Turning slowly in his crutches, you both walk together to the bench.

Kita, the twins and the rest of the team watch out-of-earshot as the their manager and their best spiker walk to the opposite end of the gym together. Angrily holding his throbbing left toes behind him, Kita glared holes into the back of your small figure. He was pissed.

“We need a new manager.” Kita spat dryly to the team who stood behind him in a cluster.

The twins laughed.

“No way, man.” Samu nudged his captain—who won’t be mad after an hour—in the rib. “Aran has a huuuuge crush on her. He’d be devastated if she left. Why else do you think he’s still here at practice when he’s under strict orders to stay at home? He literally can’t go a day without seeing her.”

Atsumu jumped in to the conversation then, nudging his captain on the opposite side as his brother. “He didn’t even come to the party last night because I told him Y/N wouldn’t be there. He’s got it baaad, Capt.” Atsumu shook his head.

The extraordinary Inarizaki captain listened to his twin teammate’s words as he watched from afar as you and Aran sat and spoke shyly to one another. He watched as you lifted his casted foot on the bench. Kita saw Aran’s lit up face when you spoke to him and he saw the way your blush hadn’t diminished even a little since he’d come in.

Kita sighed.

“Okay. She can stay, because she’s a hell of a good Manager, but that’s the only reason.” Kita stated. “Now, start cooling down.” He clapped twice to get the boys to start moving. Kita hoped he had sounded convincing when he said that the sole reason he wouldn’t get the coach to fire you after stepping on his foot was because you were good at your job...

When really.... he wouldn’t get the coach to fire you because even a cold, focused, austere man such as himself could see that you two had something really special blooming between you.

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icharchivist · 3 years

Note

hello icha!! i finally got around to finishing the stranger haha,, by which i mean i just watched it today. was veryyyy excited for it as i really like the poster design for this one. anyways. this event starting w/ the sort of portrait format or whatever / that narration is like. god. threw me right back to autumn troupe. I kind of love that the storytelling format itself is so distinct for autumn! the moment I realized it was omi I started getting teary… like oh man oh man… omi…. And the connection with him taking photos! ahh!! now that I think about it… omi kind of seems a bit like early version tsumugi, huh? also I keep forgetting this man is a college student lol. suspension of disbelief I suppose. onto the play i think like. mankai should invest in a fainting courch for tsuzuru. i also went to watch the play and 1) im betting yuki had a hell of a time costume design wise like the vines on the body? such fun costuming wise and 2) the ethical implications of whatever this play has,,, fun fun. tsuzuru was clearly having some kind of thoughts. i love zeros design and am always up for a3 characters crossdressing bc 1) i think its fun and 2) the costume design. i also dearly wish this whole thing was animated bc I feel like it’d be o fun to see taichi act as zero. or at least I hope this event gets full voiced one day... moving on to the scene where omi adds soy sauce to the paella I know it’s just like haha homare funny so lets five him a lil bit but like everyone in autumn troupe making their comments on the paella and like homare just jumping in. homare autumn troupe besties. just thinking. also the way they just r like. no no no omi it’s fine if u made a mistake!! it’s ok! we like it (you) anyways <3 it’s got it’s own special taste. something something omi’s perfectly pleasant as he is now but even if he weren’t on his a-game and was dealing with all of the biker gang stuff they would love him just as hard. another thing that got me was omi telling banri that he’ll give him something sweet so juza will stop grinding his teeth in his sleep… guys… guys you’ll give him cavities…. mb omi is a college student after all lol.

anyways when i saw the actual costumes. appreciative of them, i like the lil circuit-esque detailing on banri’s outfit, and that sakyo and taichi (nine and zero) both share that like collar detail? its very symbolic and probably also literal but its a nice way to sort of signify their relation to each other visually! also sakyo just looks nice. seeing him without glasses is so great. whoever thought up the like two mole detail for him was doing gods work.

something that confused me was ryo mistaking juza for nachi for a split second? like. does juza… look similar to nachi? or was it just that ryo only heard juzas voice and made that mistake. if it’s appearance wise too. kumon nachi confirmed. I’m joking lol bc I feel like I would’ve heard at least something abt it in one of the like small conversation comments, plus that doesnt seem like itd fit summer troupes style and kumon is for sure the wrong age… but still.

i really like how for this event, the roles for taichi and omi were kinda reversed. and taichis just so like. idk. smiley. rly lifts ur spirits. its kind of nice how this event contrasts to that cg where taichi is crying on omi. I also think like. idk. considering the story of the stranger. wolf gives zero a sense of purpose and life and I think that zero helps wolf lose his apathy. it’s about “the stranger” and the ending makes him like… not a stranger, right? because he’s got a companion. in the same way, taichi brings omi out of his emotional isolation. the picture taking! also the stickers coming back… thats such a good setup! the found family of it all!!

when he was trying to work out zeros character as soon as taichi mentioned a sharp speaking style I KNEW it was Yuki… yuki would never be as honest as zero is though lol… to me i imagine she’s got a sort of juza internal monologue feel? anyways. the taichi yuki dynamic intrigues me. havent yet decided how I feel abt it but when I do… yes. sorry that I make literally no sense. I think it’s very obvious that yuki is my fav chara kind of? I’m just. hmmm it makes me think! I’ve been monologuing to myself abt the yuki and juza dynamic lately which, to my a3 knowledge so far, doesn’t exist, but its ok bc I’ll make it exist! uhhh anyways this event was very good i liked the pacing. i think it didnt drag too hard and it really properly honed in on just omi and taichi, which was quite nice. they really did a lot for just an event!

time to listen to the event song,,, ok so. ah. i rly enjoyed just for myself it was very much to my taste so. out of curiousity i was like ok lemme look up the composer / producer AND IT WAS YUYOYUPPE....... that guy is like!!!! one of my FAV producers ever!!!!!! i know him from like. his vocaloid days and god leia is still one of my fav songs to this day...! this knowledge gives me so much joy omg!!! like wow!! wowwww!!! like i knew yuyoyuppe was out there doing other stuff (i know he worked on a lot of babymetal music which is cool) but like idk. to suddenly encounter it like this. heheh.... its so nice! made me soooo happy. going to relisten to leia now haha

WAIT ONE MORE THING. i was like "haha let me look at other songs i remember liking a lot" which. for me was rakuen oasis and don't cry. anyways. rakuen oasis is ALSO by yuyoyuppe???? oh my god!!! oh my god... sigh. feel like im in heaven.

OH HI FRIEND!! so good to see you with an a3 update!! :D

godd yeah The Stranger started so strongly and the idea to still incorporate portraits in his story was really something to make us cry!

And linking Omi and Tsumugi like this is pretty interesting :O <hat is your reasoning exactly? :O

For the fainting couch for Tsuzuru LMAO and i'm letting you know there's a webcomics that addresses it in Act 2 (hough there's no spoilers aside from the fact Chikage is here)

Im glad you liked the costume and the play!!! yeah i love the designs and it is always a blast to see them this into it, and yeaaah Tsuzuru has thoughts huh. It'll get voiced sooner than later hopefully and there we'll see more in details :3c but also that's what made the seiyuu live so fun bc they perform the songs in play cosplay and replay a bit of the play everytime and it's *chief kiss*

HOMARE AUTUMN TROUPE SOLIDARITY YES. LOVING IT.

And yeah the scene itself was so cute TwT they all want to reassure Omi and be there for him it's so sweet :( but yeah i love how you say it all, Omiimi TwT

and dLKFJDFLKJFDFD Giving Juza cavities is the price to pay for sleep i guess??

yeah agreed on the costume they all look so cool! and nice catch on how those three seem linked like that with their costumes, Yuki (and the designers) does such a good job! and god yeah for Sakyo.. yeah. He has sucha good design dLKJFDF

aND DLKFJD yeah no Juza is supposed to look like Nachi physically, but mostly his face? like i think Nachi was had green hair? we see a sprite of him in a future story, and yeah, everything is in the eyebrows. so Kumon should be safe? Omi mentions he sees a lot of Nachi in Juza, and while it is mostly due to their passions i think, the fact they're also rough looking guy with a heart of gold must play a part as well. but yeah, he does look like Nachi a bit.

and i love your deeper analysis of the event yeah!!

I feel like Taichi is really an emotional core of the troupe in the sense that is, he tends to catch on what others are feelings easily. And he uses it in the early chapters to ease off the tensions and stuff, but he was being held back by knowing he was deceiving them. So now that he's more free, he can be more of himself. but yeah i also love the contrast with how Omi was the one to help Taichi through his breakdown and guilt, and now it's the other way around, it's Taichi helping him through it. and the parallelism between the play and their dynamic is spot on imo! well said!!

and god yeah the sticker things made me cry sO HARD, and the pictures! and everything!! sobs it's such a sweet found family i'm going to cry :(

And! i love what you say about Yuki, Taichi and Juza on this one. I love that Taichi keeps bringing it back to "that childhood friend" and it's always like. so obvious who it is for us rip. But it can make you wonder if Yuki was more honest as a kiddo when Taichi knew him, though now he's clearly not. I love the mention of how Zero is more like Juza's internal speech (which, if anything is another argument about why you should let Juza wear a dress, cOWARD)

but also your mention of the Yuki and Juza thing, while i can't think of them having a dynamic per se yet, but i actually wrote a post during my reread about how i was baffled at the fact they treated Muku the same way?? like both of them tried to push Muku away because they were scared of how people would react if they say pure, sweet Muku was associated to them. And i find it fascinating because i guess those two are pretty aware of how the world see them, and it used to stop them from fully allowing them to be themselves.

I also find it relevant with the fact Yuki says in his personal song that while all of this way people judge him weight on him, he rather be himself, and "I want to love myself". Meanwhile we have Juza who's also aware of the way people judge him and it weight on him, and he wants to change himself from this person he hates, this self loathing - and in a way, he can grow in a way to be "someone" he may not hate, even on stage. I feel like those two have quite a bit in common in this way of being rejected by their peers in some sort of way.

I really want them to share some stuff at some point because there's really a groundwork on it all :(

But i'm really glad you liked that event!! agreed on the pacing and i do love what it brings to the characters! it really fleshes them out and have them move forward a little and it's pretty sweet.

AND OMG THAT'S SO COOL FOR THE SONG!! i'm so glad you liked it, but that's incredible it turned out to be from one of your fav producer!!! ahah sometimes life is like that where you end up finding the stuff you loved back into new stuff! and the fact Rakuen Oasis was from him as well... that's so cool!!! just, so so cool!

im pretty sure he has more songs going forward so i hope you'll enjoy the ride even more!!

thank you once again for sharing your thoughts about a3 :3c it always makes me so happy to see them!!!

Thank youu <3 have a good day :3c

#ichareply #ichafantalks a3 #sonnets of beauty #long post for ts

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robotpals · 3 years

Note

hey! idk if you're still taking questions about mhc, but i'm committed to mt holyoke for this fall and still not 100% sure. i kind of have a lot, so answer as many or as few as you'd like lol they're in order of priority

completely honestly, how much do people still call it a "women's college"? it was a really big factor for me that mhc was gender diverse, and since visiting has been kind of funky this year, it's been hard to tell how committed the school actually is to trans allyship (full disclosure, i'm a cis girl) and how much the students try to respect that

related to how welcome men and nonbinary folks feel-- when i show up on campus, are like 99% of the students going to be women (trans or cis), or am i being overly pessimistic about the remaining emphasis on women?

sustainability is a big focus for me, and was a factor that actually had me leaning away from mhc (most of the other schools i applied to were shooting for carbon neutrality years before 2037, and had more options for composting and such). the actual question part is: how hard would it be to try to be low/zero waste on campus (esp. plastics)? would the dining halls be able to accommodate that (outside of COVID years)? are there any significant obstacles i might run across?

i'd also like to get more politically involved in college, are there a lot of opportunities for that? (like, protests, or mutual aid, or politically oriented clubs)

how hard is it to get the classes you want? how many classes did you personally take at the other consortium colleges? (or if you're not comfortable with that, what might the average be?)

thank you so much! i'm sorry if this is too much or my tone is weird, and feel free to redirect me for any of this

Hello! Congratulations to you as well -- whether it’s where you end up or not, you should know that I’m proud of you for applying and being accepted! I’m not sure how helpful I’ll be for some of your questions, but I can certainly try to answer them. I’m putting a read-more because I have a feeling my answers may be long!

As to your first question, MHC still is a women’s college -- though a gender diverse one (I know that isn’t a helpful answer, but I think it describes the culture best!). Maybe the best way to think of it is that Mt Holyoke’s history is deeply steeped in what being a women’s college means: a lot of the traditions and details of the school can be traced back to its days as a women’s seminary. The fact that it was a place for women to get an education in a time when typically women couldn’t is something to be proud of, and definitely something that students celebrate -- though of course the category of “woman” who could be educated in the college’s early days was very limited to white affluent women. Something that I appreciated about MHC was it felt like nearly all of my fellow students were as social justice oriented as I am -- so there were always discussions about recognizing the college’s failings and history of discrimination, as well as celebrating those students who pushed for diversity and opened the doors to students who wouldn’t have been admitted in the college’s early days. That doesn’t mean that mhc is perfect, and as a white woman I’m not the best person to talk about those issues, but in general I thought the student body was willing to have hard discussions and advocate for critically examining mhc’s past.

I think my years there were interesting because my first year was the year the college announced it would accept trans women (the first of the “seven sisters” / historic east coast women’s colleges to do so!), though prior to my arrival trans men (those who applied still closeted/questioning and then came out while a student) were enrolled. I should disclose that I, too, am a cis woman! So any thoughts I have on what it’s like for trans students is based entirely on conversations with trans friends and not personal experience. Basically, though MHC is a women’s college, I think the large population of lgbt students means that gender/respect for trans students is more at the forefront than it would be at some other schools. I’m currently a student at a Big 10 state university for a masters program, and I definitely think that MHC was way more accepting of gender diversity than here -- asking about pronouns and respecting people’s gender identities were totally commonplace at MHC seven years ago, but undergrads I know at this university have said that there are lots of students who treat discussions about respecting pronouns as a joke :/ -- I hope that MHC has only continued to improve its treatment of gender diverse students since I was there.

That being said, there are definitely transphobic students -- and unfortunately, old and bigoted staff members. I remember when I was a student, the college released a memo for staff/faculty that said that emails to the student body shouldn’t use gendered language (like saying “Hey girls” or whatever LOL) and while every student I talked was in support of that, there were definitely rumors of some older professors throwing fits about that. I don’t remember any terfs on campus -- thank god -- but there was a “young republicans” student group that was super obnoxious (they only had three members LOL but they complained CONSTANTLY about how other students telling them to shut up was infringing on their first amendment rights).

I have no idea what the numbers are, but when I was a student, it definitely seemed like the vast majority of students were women/women-aligned (cis, trans, or nb) or nonbinary, so if you really want a campus with more men, MHC may not be a great choice.

As far as sustainability: I really don’t know. I know that a big discussion when I was a student was divestment from fossil fuels, and MHC refused to make any promises to divest. When I was a student, there were a couple student advocacy groups dedicated to challenging the college to be more sustainable, so if you want to learn more, I would try to find info about those organizations and ask them. Sorry I don’t know more! For some reason I thought MHC composted, but I don’t know for sure -- I know that when you finish eating, you just put your plate on a conveyor belt and there are dining hall staff who sort through what’s what. Again, you could reach out to dining and ask! And if you end up at MHC and they aren’t composting, I think that would be something they might be open to implementing -- advocacy is key.

For political involvement, I think there are lots of opportunities! MHC is in a fairly rural location, but students on campus when I was there organized marches, walk-outs, and protests for the student body. There are advocacy groups for different interests, as well as cultural groups that organized events around specific issues. It’s definitely a campus where you can get involved with issues that are important to you. Again, I don’t know what the culture is like at other colleges, but in comparison to my graduate program, activism at MHC was far more robust.

For classes, I never had trouble taking the classes I wanted! But to be fair, my majors were uncommon enough that that isn’t too surprising (religion and ancient studies LOL). Among my friends, no one seemed to have trouble getting the classes they wanted -- the only class that I remember people having trouble getting into was a class on the history of witchcraft in the gender studies department! Which is SO mt holyoke LOL.

I only took one class outside mhc -- which in retrospect I regret not taking more -- it was a class on Icelandic saga literature at umass amherst. It was a really fun class, and I enjoyed getting the glimpse into what life would have been like if I had gone to a big state school for undergrad! Overall, I thought the process for taking a class off campus was super easy and the only downside was the bus ride was like half an hour.

I hope my answers make sense! I feel like I should disclose that I’m finishing up my grad school program this week (!) so I’ve been particularly nostalgic for undergrad recently -- I’m stressed about exams, so my rose tinted glasses are ON 🙃 but I hope this has been helpful! I think that so many people make it seem like college is the most perfect wonderful time ever, but in actuality it’s pretty weird -- people living away from home for the first time, trying to figure themselves out, exploring their interests and passions, etc. ... so I would encourage you not to think of college as a perfect place, but a place where you will have room to grow! I definitely had times where I HATED being a student at mhc, but I certainly would have had those times anywhere I went -- and in the end, I’m glad I chose mt holyoke and I think it was a place I was able to grow and flourish into who I am today!

#wahhh this is long sorry!!!#mount holyoke #anonymous

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #329

“i keep it all inside because i know that man is everything but kind”

What is the best thing about your life right now? Uhhhhh... I guess from a realistic standpoint, my partial hospitalization program. I'm learning very important coping skills and have some social interaction almost every day. How was your second serious relationship different from your first? Did you approach relationships differently with some experience under your belt? My first serious relationship was made deeper than what was safe because I was 100% obsessed with him; meanwhile, with Sara, I feel I loved her in a wiser way and with a sense of self still present. I was definitely more hesitant to "let" myself fall in love again, though, and was very insecure at the start. Whose death affected you the most? My dog's, Teddy. What was the best time you’ve had with a complete stranger? I don't exactly make a habit of hanging out with complete strangers... Who has seen you at your absolute worst? How did your relationship change afterwards? Mom, Jason, Girt, and Colleen, probably. Girt showed up at the ER after my overdose (I was a dramatic fuck and wrote a suicide note on Facebook so I didn't just... go without telling some people things I definitely wanted to), and that's when my crush on him really kicked into gear again. He was and is just always there for me through everything. For Jason, I am quiiiiiiiite sure seeing me have an absolute catatonic breakdown the night of the breakup just pushed him away more. I probably looked crazy. Colleen also showed up at the ER after my suicide attempt, and it brought us closer. Then there's Mom, who's, you know, my mom, and my darkest times have always grown our incredible bond, too, because she would never fail to be there for me. What’s your favorite planet? Saturn is dope. What’s your favorite pasta dish? Just spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs. What color do you really want to dye your hair? My top three are pastel pink, light/creamsicle orange, and silver, but there are more. What’s your favorite eye color? Sapphire blue or emerald green. What’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? Um, I don't break into places. What’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? Sara gets super squeaky, bouncy, and just in general wordlessly excited at reptile shows. Going with her to one is one of my favorite memories, mostly just by watching her. Tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Have I ever been (awake) with friends past 3AM...? Idk. Do you have a favorite coffee shop? Describe it! Not a coffee gal. Who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Sara. (: When was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Now THERE'S a fuckin question. I don't have the slightest idea. What was your biggest fear as a kid? Is it the same today? Thunderstorms; definitely not. Have you ever been to a Pride festival? No, but I'd love to. How open are you with your parents? I don't tell everything to my dad (though I know I could), but I'm an open book with Mom. Is there anything you’re more open about on the internet (such as on LiveJournal) than you would be in “real life”? I guess my sexual history. I'm just in general pretty open online. What is the most petty thing you’ve ever done? Oh, I'm CERTAIN it involves Jason after the breakup, but I don't know the "most"... What is the longest you’d be willing to wait to have sex in a new relationship? I myself don't want to until we're clearly serious and long-term by that point, and I know for a fact they're in love with me like I am them. I don't care how long they want to wait, though. I said in a previous survey that sex just... isn't that important to me. It's not my most cherished form of intimacy. Who has had the most positive effect on your life? My mama. Are there any relatives that you are not on speaking terms with? What happened? Most of the family doesn't talk to my aunt's literally psychotic, manipulative fuck of an ex-husband. I don't feel like it's my business to share exactly what happened, but yeah, fuck him with a chainsaw. :^) Who was the last person to ask you to hang out? Did you agree to hang out with them? It was more like an open invitation to all of her friends, but I guess you could say Summer. I did. I honestly wanna hang out again. Have you ever had to take a stool or urine test? Why did you have to do this? Urine ones, yes: to 1.) test for UTIs and 2.) ensure I wasn't pregnant before surgery. Is there a food that you eat basically every day? What food is that? Not every day, no. Can you remember the first video game you ever played? What about your first video gaming system? I don't. It was probably something with few controls, like this Barbie horse riding game my sisters and I loved, or an Elmo game that we had on a demo disc. I think you had to follow a path on a pogo stick picking up letters? We had a PS1 when I was born, so that was my first. The last video game you played - did you play alone or with someone else? By "video," I'm going to assume you're not including the computer, in which case I think it was The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon, which I was playing alone. It does have a two-player option though that I wanna do one day. The controls are definitely meant for two people. If there is a disc in your computer, what disc is it? There is no disc. Do you shut down your computer every time after you use it, or do you leave it on? I always leave it on... Do you know anyone who has ever been in a movie? Who and what movie were they in? What was their part? Hm, I don't believe so. Describe the last shirt you saw that you really liked. Where did you see it? It was definitely some sort of graphic tee on Facebook, I'm sure. It was something with an opossum design and a short phrase. When was the last time you brought a pet to the vet? What was wrong with it? The most recent vet visit was when we got Roman neutered. Do you have any bug bites on you right now? If so, where? No. When you go fishing, do you make someone else get the fish off the hook? When I DID fish, yeah. Not because I was afraid to touch the fish, but because I was afraid of nicking myself with the inevitably dirty hook. Did you go to daycare when you were little? Only very briefly; my incredible separation anxiety from my mom made it extremely difficult. She very quickly chose our neighbors as my and my sisters' babysitters. I could handle that because I loved "Uncle Donny," the granddad of the family, and I could see my house from their front door. He was/is (idk if he's still alive) a wonderful man. Do you know what you’d have been named had you been born the opposite sex? No. Would you ever visit a nude beach? NOOOOOOOO THANK YOU. Who was the last person you dreamt about? I don't remember. Where is your favorite place to be kissed other than the usual place? Don't touch my neck if you don't have free time lmaooo. What is your favorite memory with one of your grandparents? I'm going to be completely honest: I have none that are exceptionally important to me. I only knew one grandmother most of my life, and we had a turbulent relationship. Would you date someone who has cheated in their previous relationships? Naaaaah son. What was the most drastic change you made to your appearance? Chopping 8+ inches of hair off. Is there anything you hope your significant other/future significant other never finds out about you? No. I don't want to keep secrets from them above all others. What are most of your Facebook posts about? If you're talking things I actually compose myself and not share, probably pictures of my pets, haha. Or small statements regarding political issues or mental health. What’s your favorite part of the song that you’re listening to? The beat. Who was the last person you got into a small argument with? Probably my mom, idk. How warm do you like your showers/baths to be? Pretty hot. In the past year, have you lost weight or gained weight? How much? Gained... and I'd rather not share. What year was the last car you rode in/drove? I have zero clue, but it's old. What’s your worst/funniest experience with one of your neighbors? The neighbors at my childhood home had two wonderful rottweilers, but one day they got loose and killed at least one of our kittens. It died in my hands. Mom was fucking livid and sobbing. Besides this occasion though, we got along with them. How much alone time is too much for you before you start going crazy and want to be around people? It depends on the day, really, and how entertained I am in my alone time. Generally, one day of total isolation (from people, anyway) is enough for me to want my mom's company at least or to be texting Sara. The last time you burned your tongue or mouth, what were you eating? A pizza roll burned my tongue just a tad. Honestly, are you shallow? Not at all. Besides clothes, shoes, and accessories, what’s your favorite thing to shop for? S N A K E S ! ! ! I could LIVE on the Morph Market website and "window shop." I love planning out the next morph I'm most interested in adopting. If you have/had any facial piercings, what side are they on? Any reason you chose that side? If you don’t have any, if you had to get a facial piercing what would it be and what side would it be on? I have a vertical labret on my lower lip that goes directly down the center of my face. I chose it because I love the symmetry. I've had my right nostril pierced twice, just because I preferred that side for whatever reason. What, would you say, is your sexiest/most provocative article of clothing? I don't own anything like that. I have zero interest in showing off my body. Do/did you have attendance problems in school? I was notoriously tardy for the first class of the day a lot because I was an absolute beast to drag out of bed all the way up to college. Does/did your parents ever go through your computer or cell phone? Mom did. What song reminds you the most of a particular day in your life? Why is that? "Where the Wild Wolves Have Gone" by Powerwolf is a strong one. I played it again and again the day Teddy was put down, even before we went to go euthanize him. It was my inspiration to one day spread his ashes at Yellowstone in wolf territory. As much as I'd love to keep his ashes forever, like, what happens after I die? And my sisters? Eventually, that container will lose meaning and probably be discarded, so I want to return him to nature. Do you have any close friends that were adopted? No close ones. Who, in your opinion, is the best thriller writer? Idk. Does your Mom eat meat? Yeah. Do you prefer thick or thin crusted pizza? THICK. Thin crust is an utter disappointment. Do you have any friends with the same name as you? No. Who has the prettiest middle name you know? Ha, I mention Alon a lot when it comes to beauty... I can't remember what it is, but I do know hers wins. Do you prefer it when it gets darker earlier? No. It makes me go to bed earlier. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No. Is there a particular sport you follow on a regular basis? No. Are there any shows that your friends seem to be obsessed with, but that you just don’t get? Oh, loads. How old was the last child that you spoke to? She's six. What’s a song that makes you feel happy? "Pretty Woman" by Van Halen, for one. How far in advance do you prefer to plan? It depends, but generally kinda far. Do you always smile for pictures? With other people, yes. Some selfies, no, but usually. What are you most excited about right now? my MOTHERFUCKIN tattoo appointment in MAY!!!!!!!!!!! Do you prefer the aisle, middle, or window seat on a plane? Window seat, zero doubts. Where would you like to volunteer? I wanna help at an animal rehab. What was the last thing you ate? A strawberry and grain granola bar thing. How do you find new music? Usually YouTube recommendations. What’s your favorite city? I don't have one. What makes your bedroom special to you and what is your favorite part about it? It's a total nests of my various interests. My favorite part is my meerkat collection. Have you ever had a crush on someone “too young” for you? No. Do you shave your legs more than once a week? God no. I haven't shaved my legs since October lmao. Would you get married if you could right now? Definitely not right now. I don't have a job or my own place. What is your favorite type of jewelry (i.e. bracelets, necklaces, etc.)? Chokers. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to? No. I was wholeheartedly in love with him. What was the shittiest hotel you’ve ever stayed at and why? I've never stayed in a bad one, to my recollection. Have you ever gone on a boat and been sick the whole time? No. Have you ever kept something from the wild as a pet? A turtle for a little while, yes. Don't do that. Ever win first place for something? Yeah, a few things. What was the last thing you fell off of? Idk. Do you have a favorite local band? Who are they? No. What’s the most confusing book you ever read? The style in which Johnny Got His Gun is written is very confusing, but you adapt to understand it. Jumping back and forth from the past to the present can give ya some metaphorical whiplash. Do you have a funny last name? Does anyone make fun of it? No. Has anyone ever called your personality dull? Do you agree with them? No. Have you ever personally witnessed a drug deal before? Possibly. Ever have an ultrasound performed on you? What was it for? Yes, for my liver. I can't remember what they were checking for, but I was fine. Have you ever been kicked out of somewhere? Colleen's house, yes. Have you seen all the Lord of the Rings movies? Nope; got no interest. Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? Nah, not for me. Do you enjoy being outdoors? Only if it's cool out, in which case yeah. Do you enjoy watching fireworks on the 4th of July? Not anymore. I just think about the terrified animals (wild and pets alike) and traumatized veterans. Do you enjoy tanning? Not at all. Which of the seven deadly sins do you commit the most? Sloth. Did you have a Furby when you were younger? Yeah. Creepy fuckers. How long was your first relationship? I actually don't remember how long Aaron and I were together... other than it was just a few months. Who was the first person to break your heart? My dad, generally speaking. Romantically, Jason. What’s the biggest lie you’ve told someone? I don’t know. Has anyone ever drawn a picture of you? Yeah. What did the last key you used go to? The car's trunk. Is there anything, any event, you wish you could remember more clearly? I honestly do wish I remembered my "first time" because that's a pretty big deal to me. What’s your biggest priority right now? My mental health. If you’ve stayed overnight in a hospital, how did you entertain yourself? I've done that numerous times, and given there was nothing good on the TV ever, I just slept time away or read. Since every time I was suicidal, there were very, very few things you were allowed to have. Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet? EW no. Are your hands unsteady? Yes; I have what's called an essential tremor in both. Are your legs long or short? They're proportional to my body. Is there a bookshelf in your room? No. Do you own a robe? What color is it? No. Who’s the last person you smoked weed with? I've never done it. Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? No. Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? Yeah, my sisters in the past. Is there anything you need to talk about with someone? No. Who was the last person who cried around you? My mom. Who’s the last guy to give you roses? Tyler. What band was on the last band t-shirt you wore? Korn. What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? Maybe snakebites. Do you stick your tongue out often in pictures? Nah. I only ever really did once or twice when I had snake eyes. Honestly, have you ever purchased something, worn it, and then returned it? Possibly? If you could have your own house anywhere in the world, where would it be? In the mountains in a nicely wooded area with a waterfall close by. It'd be nice to have a small stream or pond too to sit or swim in. If you could create a holiday - what would it be? I wish the legalization of gay marriage in America was a legitimate holiday. Are you shy about singing in front of people? OHHHHH YES. Do you own a robe? Do you sleep with a sleep mask? No.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''voices'' by motionless in white

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ori-flails · 4 years

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Rewatching Guardian - Episode 07 Part 1/3

Episode List || Episode 06 || Part 2 | Part 3

SPOILERS for upto episode 40, SPOILERS for the novel.

The translation is by AvenueX. Youtube decided to not translate for me today.

A pity, I think the youtube translation had soomething like “a beauty named Shen Wei”. xD

Ah... I am a fool. At the end of the last episode, I mentioned how Shen Wei had a droopy quiff because it was the end of the day. But after Zhao Yunlan came, Shen Wei’s quiff went back to its former glory. xD

I really wonder how it would’ve gone down if Zhao Yunlan hadn’t turned up. Shen Wei could’ve obliterated these two without a sliver of dark energy.

Shen Wei looks too pretty. WAY too pretty.

Everyone isn’t full of suspicion like you, Zhao Yunlan. xD

But okay, Zhao Yunlan’s acting just a tiny bit strange. xD What, you’re worried Shen Wei would realise you were maybe following him for no reason except for your crush on him? And that maybe you did wanna show off just a little bit to him??

He’s just so automatically defensive here.

First of all, I absoulutely failed at getting screenshots for the fighting but just... I implore you to zoom into Zhao Yunlan’s face in the very last screenshot. xD Look at his eyes lmaooo

It’s too funny not to include.

I get that the SID isn’t regular police but even if Zhao Yunlan can’t arrest these two, shouldn’t he still at least hand them over to regular police? They’re muggers. Why is he leaving them here with only a warning?

“Become a consultant for the SID.” “No.”

Absoulutely zero hesitation. xD Poor Zhao Yunlan’s like “??????”

I guess this is because 1) Shen Wei’s identity would endanger Zhao Yunlan and the other members of the SID. Specially if they aren’t aware of who he is, and also 2) I’m just guessing, but this might be because of alliances or something. SID itself is clearly its own entity at this point under Zhao Yunlan’s leadership. But on paper, it’s under Xingdu Bureau. Hei Pao Shi working for the SID would be like saying, yeah, Hei Pao Shi (at least partially) answers to Xingdu Bureau, which he doesn’t. And also, it ends up looking like the SID, Zhao Yunlan more specifically, has ambiguous loyalty or is being influenced by Dixing. But I’m not sure.

Working for the SID as a consultant would obviously be ideal because it will allow the SID and Hei Pao Shi to work together more closely to do their jobs right, and it would allow Shen Wei to remain close to Zhao Yunlan.

So once it becomes obvious to Shen Wei that Zhao Yunlan and the SID will be exposed to danger regardless of his identity known by them, and that his ‘Professor Shen’ identity it only hindering his efforts to help them out, and once Zhao Yunlan figures out his identity, point (1) becomes meaningless. If point (2) is actually an issue/being considered by Shen Wei, then it would be outweighed by the pros of working for the SID as a consultant. Hence, Shen Wei takes Zhao Yunlan up on the offer later on.

When Shen Wei’s massaging that thing on Zhao Yunlan’s arm, I know that despite whatever that reaction of Zhao Yunlan’s looked like, it’s meant to be a grimace of pain, because that’s what it was when they were rehearsing the lines in a behind-the-scenes video.

But still, it looked like what it looked like. xD And added with the comment about Shen Wei being good with his hands it’s just too much to ignore. ͡°‿ ͡°

Zhao Yunlan’s adorable and he’s such a flirt oh my poor

I have this idea that the OST used in a scene is often from the POV of the character(s) the show wants the audience to pay attention to/sympathise with, if that makes sense.

I’ll have to do a little digging to find the name of the OST used in this part. (Sorry guys, I didn’t find it :/ But it plays at 5:12 - 6:39 in the episode) The OST is very melancholic, life if repressed longing was music or something like that.

The OST is clearly from Shen Wei’s POV because at this point Zhao Yunlan has no reason to be thinking/feeling this way.

Basically the OST was wrecking my heart and soul and I didn’t want to be repetative and say the OST really made this scene for me and gave me all the feels but that’s exactly what happened.

Shen Wei... TT~TT

Also, I’m fairly certain that Shen Wei discretely used his healing powers to partially heal Zhao Yunlan’s arm just enough to get away with it without alerting Zhao Yunlan.

First of all, where the hell was that bedroom even? Just in case, I went back where the cat brothers break into Shen Wei’s home, and yep, no bedroom, no bed. His apartment looks less structured than Zhao Yunlan’s, and looks more like a big room with furnitures than a big space compartmentalized for specific functions.

In that scene, I didn’t see a bed, or even see Zhao Yunlan go into a “room”. Now, this doesn’t mean that Shen Wei’s apartment doesn’t have a bedroom for sure, just could be that we didn’t see it. But we followed Zhao Yunlan’s POV in that scene and the entire time he spent in Shen Wei’s apartment was shown. So if we didn’t see a bed or a bedroom, neither did Zhao Yunlan.

So what’s up with that?

Anyway, my man just dug his own grave and jumped in it lol

Once again with the ominous music though. It stopped me from realizing before just how funny this scene is.

Another example of Zhao Yunlan goofing up in Shen Wei’s presence. xD

And then the stuff he says to try and salvage the situation are also gold because if Zhao Yunlan had been in any state to calmly think about what he was saying, he’d have noticed the window he was talking about faces the opposite direction to the one in his apartment.

Also, I checked and the two apartments are very different even if you remove all the furnitures, so there’s that. Shen Wei wouldn’t know because he hasn’t gone to Zhao Yunlan’s apartment yet. But still.

Slightly unrelated, neither of the two apartments seem to have any washrooms. I didn’t see any doors leading to one anywhere. I also didn’t see a kitchen in Shen Wei’s. He has a balcony where Zhao Yunlan’s apartment has a kitchen. And there goes out collective headcanon about Shen Wei’s beautifully clean kitchen.

Back to Zhao Yunlan’s blunder.

Shen Wei knew it was them to begin with and would’ve probably never mentioned it.

But then Zhao Yunlan the Disaster made such a dumb mistake and then realkized himself. At that point, it was too obvious for Shen Wei to ignore. In fact ignoring it would be more suspicious. Oh my god. xD

And when Zhao Yunlan’s flailing and making further fool of himself, Shen Wei’s sarcastic nod and his smile lmaoooo He seemed so amused xD

On the other hand, Zhao Yunlan looks so uncomfortable xD Poor man’s heart’s probably about to sprint out of his ribcage. He’s so cute istg.

Shen Wei just handing the entire bottle to Zhao Yunlan because he doesn’t need it and can’t heal him himself but can’t leave him be either. Ugh. So extra and so tragic.

Zhao Yunlan just taking it though... That’s not quite the normal response here... is it? Like, shouldn’t there be some protest to taking it at least for the sake of being polite? These two didn’t meet all that long ago and aren’t that close yet as far as Zhao Yunlan’s knows.

Like, politely refuse and buy one of his own later, or try to refuse at least; isn’t that what’s meant to happen here?

Idk. Zhao Yunlan’s response seems odd to me. I can’t tell if he’s just like that or if this is him being uneasy and in a hurry to get out of there after his slip-up.

Shen Wei TTATT

Well, both of their hearts are about to sprint out and away to Cold City now for two completely different reasons.

(Continues in part 2)

#镇魂 guardian #guardian rewatch #guardian episode 07 #shen wei #zhao yunlan #weilan #zhen hun

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jjkfire · 4 years

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hello, do u have an estimate of when the new chapter of sweet saccharine will be published?🥺

haha uhhh i honestly can’t give you a date, sorry! do join the sweet saccharine tag list if you haven’t already so i can tag y’all whenever i post it. but realistically, try me will be updated before sweet saccharine, so.... there’s that haha. if you haven’t seen it, you can go to the bottom of this post to see a preview of the next SS chapter.

i’m gonna put the full reason as to why i am taking so long to write anything... tldr is that i’m just doing a ton of different things atm! but you can read the full story down below

I'll be honest and say that my writing has been sitting on the back burner for some time. i get in a few 100 or so words here and there but I haven't dedicated like a full day to writing in a while. the truth is, I'm really so busy at work!!! and this working from home thing has my work schedule all messed up. it just feels like my work day is stretched because I can't focus so I end up working for a much longer time 😔

also i feel like I have to learn 501 things to keep up with my job but you guys know me haha I love to learn anyway so it's all good but it's just that it eats into my writing time.

and 🤪 I know you guys are tired of hearing me say this but I've really doubled down on learning how to trade and invest. and before you scroll away, no it’s not a scam. warren buffett built his fortune through investing. and i just really want some of you to know that you can generate income with investing so please please please take advantage of it. of course i’m not going to be as rich as warren buffett lmfao but it's a really nice hobby that pays me and writing unfortunately doesn't. like... I love writing! it's amazing!! but it's just the amount of time put in versus the money I get from it is like zero... which is totally fine lol I don't think people want to pay for my writing anyway HAHA and yes, yes, not everything has to be about making money. but i so so so hope at least like one person here followed my advice and invested in that crash in March (my posts were on feb 29 and march 15th respectively and the market hit the lowest point for the year on march 23rd). i literally put my money where my mouth is and bought when i said to buy.

i bought shares of square (ticker: $SQ) at 45 dollars in March and it is 142 dollars today (as of writing, August 13th). meaning I made 97 dollars from one share alone. and if i sell it tomorrow even minus tax it's like give or take 86 dollars profit. all this from just clicking buy. if you can buy one bts concert ticket worth 300 bucks, and considering the concert was cancelled this year, you could’ve bought 6 shares of square with that money and you’ll be 510 dollars richer today. or if you’d rather buy a company you’re more familiar with, had you bought one Apple share at 230 in march and you sold today at 459 dollars, you would have made, minus tax about 201 dollars. (and tesla was 361 dollars in March and it’s 1620 dollars today... yeah that’s NOT a typo). anyway these returns are soooo much more than what your bank is giving you. your bank gives you next to nothing. let me be generous and say right now (since they have severely cut interest rates) they give you 1.8% interest... if you put 300 dollars in the bank, you will accumulate 5.4 dollars in interest at the end of a one-year period....... versus $270 to buy 6 shares of square and then $510 profit if you sold today. do you see what i’m saying???? (you can also do paper trading first if you are scared. meaning use pretend money but it will follow real market prices so you can see how you fare in the market). I'm digressing from your question but!!! financial independence, we want it.

so if I can get just one of you to care about personal finance or investing, my life is made. it’s never too late (unless you are close to retiring then you should think hard about it) and never too early to start. i started in my senior year of college and that’s only because i’m not American and had to get a ssn. if you’re american.... and you have money that you know won’t severely affect you if you lose it, I highly suggest learning about investing. but, make sure you have a solid personal finance foundation too. the tldr is pay off high interest debt, track your expenses in excel or mint or whatever just track it so you can see where you’re wasting money and where you can cut back, take advantage of cash back on credit cards, never pay your credit card bills late, have a 3-6 month emergency fund set up, and then finally learn how to invest. once you do that, if you really want to you can graduate to learning how to trade options. which i do! and this means on top of what i make from investing, i make a few extra bucks every week.

[anything i said is not financial advice. as in don’t go out and buy square right now just because i talked about it. i’m asking you guys to learn about investing. do your due diligence about the companies. do you believe in them? do you think they’ll be here in 10 years? are you planning to invest in the company long term or you have an exit price where you want to cash out quick profit? do you want to do a bogleheads 3 fund portfolio? are you someone who wants to put your money in individual stocks or put your money into an all encompassing etf like VOO or SPY? it’s a tried and true method and investing in an etf on average over a 20 year period gets you more money than stock pickers or some hedge funds and definitely your bank as it returns about 7% on average every year. just learn!!! it’s not as complicated as it seems i swear]

anyway, that is the long winded answer on why i haven’t written in so long.... but please learn about investing please please please please. if you’re american you have so much more at your disposal aka your roth IRA account (you don’t have to pay taxes on your gains if you invest with this account but you can only take out the principal amount. after you are 59 and a half you can take out everything at zero tax cost) and also your 401k (if your company offers it and is doing matching, take the match PLEASE). you might get a second chance at investing at discounted prices again if the fed ever lets the market collapse in some sense lol but i think they will prop it till the election at least. anyway a financial crisis appears every give or take 10 years. also as long as you do dollar cost averaging, you should be fine. think if you bought at all time highs mid feb this year then held your stocks, bought some more when the market went through the shitter in march... then as of writing, right now, you’ll still be making profit if you sold. On August 13th, SPY (an etf that tracks the S&P500) literally closed two dollars shy from the all time high which was in mid to late feb of this year. so uhhh if it isn’t already clear, please learn to invest. whether you wanna enter the market now or wait till post election is completely up to you but PLEASE LEARN. idk if any of you ever read my financial rambles till the end but if you have questions you can message me and i can always direct you to the appropriate resources. i can show you all the videos and articles and posts i’ve read to date. don’t wait to start learning. you can learn and then wait to invest but whatever the case is, if you already have the knowledge you’ll be ready whenever there’s a good chance to invest. okay?????

#sweet saccharine #replies #anon

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mollydollyjournals · 3 years

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Sunday 3rd January; 155.6lbs

I'm definitely suspicious of my scales. They're meant to weigh in 0.2lb increments, but there are some numbers that come up more often than others. Like how I was 156.6 so often. In fact I weighed about an hour ago (it's the evening now) and was 156.6 again. So the fact that I was 155.6 on the 1st as well (and on the 31st I think...? I forget) and am again today is unlikely. I don't really know what I actually am today. I feel huge but I guess that's nothing new. I definitely have PMS so my body is going to be holding a lot of water especially on my face and belly, which I can definitely feel. So I should weigh more? Obviously I'll be really glad if this is how I am with the water weight, because that means 2-3lbs will drop off this week without me trying. But I'm just sure that won't be the case. Sometimes even just the day before my period I suddenly gain 2-3lbs so that could still happen.

I was also really really hungry today so didn't fast. If I try to fast when I'm super hungry and craving food it just sets me up for a binge. So instead I did kind of a light restrict - had a not-totally-low-cal-but-not-high-cal breakfast, then just water, then just now I had a small low-cal-high-fibre snack and some herbal tea, and now I'll just have water until I go to bed (maybe another tea if I want one). But I've been really low on energy again. Combination of PMS and other stuff I guess. So I've just been lying down all day. I really want to work out again. I just feel so terrible.

My weight seems to be in massive flux and will be unreliable for at least a few days...which is really annoying because I want to know exactly what's going on. I'll keep weighing before bed and when I get up, as always, because I'll go out of my mind if I don't. But I won't be able to treat it as accurate. I don't know.

I have to call my doctors tomorrow and try to book some scans. I need to know exactly whats up with my liver. I need to know if I'll ever be able to drink again. I still can't believe even half a unit makes me sick. Is that gonna be permanent or what? If it's permanent then I have 10-20yrs left and will get progressively sicker over that time. If it's not, I could abstain for a long time with therapy and medication, heal up, maybe try again at drinking in moderation much later, I don't know. Regardless, I have to stay off it for now. I hate it. The overwhelming abyss feeling is only just starting to lessen. And by lessen I mean if it was 100 before, it's maybe 90 now. It's still horrible. It would still make more sense for me to have a small controlled amount of alcohol sometimes so I don't lose my mind. In the past I did things like give hb the alcohol so that he could moderate. Him holding himself up in his room is one of the reasons I relapsed so badly. I was just alone with nothing but alcohol to entertain myself and no real restriction on how much I got or drank.

I hate phonecalls. They make me so anxious. I don't want to call my doctors. But they don't have a messaging service and they stopped their online booking system during the pandemic. It's horribly inaccessible. I'm going to want to drink when I make the call. Ironic. But then I've also started feeling super numb a lot of the time recently. A lot of derealization and whatever. Maybe I'll just detach from it instead. Guess I'll find out tomorrow.

If I'm not drinking then I'll likely feel horrible for the next few days as my period starts. I probably won't have it in me to work out, and I'll crave a lot of food, but I'll try to at least fill up on healthier foods if I really feel the need to eat. Hopefully as my period comes to an end I won't feel so fatigued and terrible and will be able to work out. I don't know what my weight will be by then. The dream would be 151 by Friday, but that's not going to happen unless the fucking stars align. I'd have to be as high as I'm going to go now, lose 3lbs water weight, and an extra pound from eating low and working out which I can only do if I feel way better physically. I don't have that kind of luck. I just want to do what I can and be as low as I can by then. Then hopefully, with my period ended/ending and a week of absolutely zero alcohol, I'll be able to get back to working out every day and making decent food.

Idk. I always write so much. I just struggle to make sense of things. My mind can't hold onto the information it processes anymore. Sometimes I just have to write shit out because otherwise trying to hold onto it overwhelms me and I fuck up. I have to think very carefully and plan out what I have to do, then just trust my own plabn and follow the instructions. A little like the movie Memento in a way.

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