#idk how this stuff happens to me like i cant interact with people without it being really strange

[lanshappycorner]

Sometimes I look outside my scope of mutuals and I'm like.....I'm glad I'm not them (whole essay in the tags)

#im going to ramble about a very touchy subject here but it pertains to 🐉♠️ which i am very open about shipping #apparently its Problematic or whatever 😭😭???? according to Some People #you know ive been thinking abt this for a while now but people really like spouting rhetoric abt how this or that is problematic without- #-really considering the specifics of why things are bad. things being bad are not the same as things possibly being uncomfortable #like people have an aversion to adult/minor ships or incest ships because these are real and tangible things that happen and are disgusting #i do feel like people have freedom over what they want to consume/create in fiction although those topics are an ick to me and i avoid it #but also you have to understand people dont like it primarily because of the realistic aspect of it and how it connects to reality #not a one to one but because reality already has these preexisting issues we naturally have an aversion to it #you cannot apply the same logic to like a dragon man x human ship because a dragon man is not going to scoop you from the sky #the ramifications of shipping an immortal and human are nonexistant and do not pertain to reality and cannot be judged on the same scale💀 #well beside from the logic 🐉 is old in body but his mind develops in the way a fae would. and he is described to be young in fae #so up until now i assumed the normal assumption was to say that he is around ~18 in fae yrs by how he interacts with others in his yr #🐉 is like old in the way where hes lived for a long time and understands the passage of time #but hes processed it through the lens of a young person hence why he can come off as immature despite how old he physically is💀 #like are we playing the same game?? if he was a well adjusted fully developed adult with a complete understanding of the world and stuff #like idk trein. none of the events in ch 7 would be happening. its kind of like a huge part of his character that despite his physical age #he IS still learning as he IS still young #i could go into a analysis of his character but thats for another time </33 #anyways i see people . primarily young people. telling their mutuals you can or cant ship this and that #and im like its okay to not like ships if you personally find it uncomfortable but to police ur friends...for ships that arent even 'bad' #its insane to me...how do u live like this? #people really need to start thinking about the nuances and why things are the way they are in regards to fiction #instead of buying into that weird pr*ship/ant*ship thing 😭 ive always hated it its so dumb. my university professors wouldve hated it #theres no nuance like...none. personally i also think its why people have low reading comprehension these days too tbh #life is about looking at various viewpoints and coming up with your own opinion #not 'picking a side'💀 learn to form your own opinions. talk to people around you about it. do not constrict your opinions to black/white #its an extremely dangerous mindset to have even outside of literature and it makes you very susceptible to dangerous ideas/propaganda #anyways what im getting at is learn to have educated discussions with others and come up with your own opinions instead of picking a side #btw there is no right/wrong side in literary discussions. there is no good/bad side either. whatever you come up w someone will disagree #thats why its important to just believe what YOU believe in (and not parrot others💀). and also be open to change

[waywardsalt]

now bc of that one post abt zelda getting fridged whenever that one guy directs a zelda game im thinking abt tetra just getting turned to stone in ph and like. what would it have been like if she were an actual character in ph. what would she have done how would this have changed the story

#not gonna do a whole lot of tagging im just musing. if you wanna rb or reply with ideas thats great #im not the person to figure this out bc i dont actually care much abt tetra #not like oh i hate her but like. i only played ph and what i see of her beyond that has not endeared me to her #shes fine i just dont get it. ig cuz i didnt play ww but eh #cuz like. ok. pretty much the majority of phs plot relies on tetra having been turned to stone and fixing that #and me being the autistic little freak i am the psrt that also makes it hard for me to wonder what could happen if #tetra werent stone and that making the game better is like. ok what about linebeck and his arc #listen his arc is so fucking good and hes great and i dont think his arc would have been so good if link wasnt the character he was put wit #cuz link is a great foil and despite having minimal characterization has just the right personality to nudge linebeck along #cuz hes def part of what inspires some of that change in linebeck so idk what might have happened #if tetra was an active player interacting with him in ph too. cuz like idk most of the time when i see people #do stuff where they interact its usually tetra one upping linebeck or whatever and thars like. ok thats whar ciela does #maybe im reading into it too much and focusing on linebeck. idk how you couldve done and changed #the plot of ph to include tetra without just straight up rewriting the whole thing or putting link away #bc look me in the eyes. i do not think linebeck would have developed the way he did without having met link specifically #salty talks #idk i feel like linebecks arc is the best bit of story in ph so i want that to remain more or less intact bc thats where a lot of #the emotional stuff comes in at the end. his dialogue in the ghost ship battle and the final boss. its important #i dont think about tetra much cant you tell. so id leave this to someone who actually cares abt her as a character

[hecksupremechips]

I went on a "date" with a guy a few months ago and I just remember us on my couch watching shrek 2 and him cuddling and getting all intimate with me while I just sat there like 🙃

#the klock keeps ticking #it was really fucking awkward lol #like first off it was like. it was a date but also not? it wasnt quite clear ajshksl #but im not a cuddly person so i guess it was a date if that was involved #but yeah uh one thing that made it weird was just that my couch is really bad for having more than one person #very uncomfortable #and he was like maybe we should watch this 👀 in your bedroom 😳 #but agkshfk i was too lazy to do that and also quite frankly i just didnt want this guy in my bed lol #so it ended up with my sitting up abnormally straight and tense while he rested his head on my shoulder and one hand was on my lap #and the other was feeling my arm #its not like he was being malicious or anything like that he asked me if it was okay and i told him it was so thats one me #at least i knew when to not let anything more happen lol like the movie ended and i was like OKAY time for you to leave! #he wasnt a bad guy or anything but dude i just did not want to be there at all #idk how this stuff happens to me like i cant interact with people without it being really strange #the moral of this story is uhhh dont let guys you dont like cuddle you awkwardly

[shadyhoetree]

wow. you're so cool for writing for makoto

i need something with kusuke, he's also underrated. kusuke is the love of my life

idk if you're willing to write this or not,, i cant really make up any scenarios, so if you choose to reply writing for kusuke then i hope you're okay making up your own scenario? I NEED KUSUKE HRRFHRRGGHRF

you're underrated D:

Kusuke Saiki x male! reader

Minors & female aligned do not interact

Contains: NSFW, porn without plot, vibrating buttplug (reader recieving), public, humiliation-ish? (reader recieving) implied top! Kusuke, implied bottom! reader

Host Bonzai's note: I know I'm cool, thanks😌and yes, yes, I will come up with something for my boy Kusuke. HAHAHA EVERYONE NEEDS A BIT OF KUSUKE KDLFKFKFKF Awww<3 You really think soooooo? But damn, I could not come up with much to work with so I made this kind of a foreshadow-y thing. Haven't watched Saiki K in a while and well- help, I overastimated myself

Co-writer Ruka's note: Little tip on the side; you can still help by giving us other information besides a scenario. Starting with who's top, who's bottom or what uh kinks you want/don't want to be included. Makes it a bit easier to come up with stuff, yknow

What he wants

During (Y/N)'s time knowing and being with Kusuke, he started to notice little shifts in the way the blonde is acting. That way, it was easy for (Y/N) to figure out certain things; How Kusuke is feeling, if he slept properly, ...things like that.

But the most significant one to mention is how Kusuke's act shifts ever so slightly when he's up to something. Something that involves his dear, dear boyfriend.

His gazes would linger longer, as well as his touches, he'd be sweeter and do little things for (Y/N). You could say he was trying to butter him up to ensure the needed consent for whatever there was swirling in his head.

And whenever that happens, the (Y/HC)-haired knew something bad is going to happen. Bad for him, but entertaining for Kusuke.

Being able to see the signs rather quickly never seemed to give him even the slightest advantage, however. No matter how much he tried to stay stubborn, Kusuke always knew how to get a 'yes' out of him.

Which brings us to the nearby grocery store.

Kusuke's smile was ever so sweet as he held (Y/N)'s hand in his, and looking at the neatly written down grocery list in his other. Do I still have to tell you they weren't actually there to shop groceries?

The ever so slightly twitching of the male's fingers in his hold made Kusuke smile even wider, barely being able to hide the mischief it held. (Y/N) refused to look at him, feigning anger towards him because of what he did to him yet again.

How come Kusuke had such a huge thing for publicly humiliating him like this? And how come the (Y/HC)-haired always ends up going along with it until the very end?

There is no more denying having a vibrating butt plug in his ass while walking past people in a damn grocery store wasn't arousing him. No one knew, all just minding their own business, not having a clue that he was currently holding back groans, moans, whimpers, gasps. With the blonde at his side controlling the difficulty of said task.

"Awe, are you angry with me, love?", he knew for a fact (Y/N) wasn't, but he wanted to play the role of an innocent couple. He made a move to place the grocery list in his pocket as he waited for his beloved to speak, only to increase the intensity of the toy the moment he was about to speak. Damn, (Y/N) forgot the remote was in that pocket.

That resulted in him to let out a startled gasp, almost a squeak. He felt like his face was about to catch fire from all the heat that's rising up there, as all the people within a few meters looked their way at the sound.

The male was quick, maybe a bit too quick, to awkwardly wave them off, "I thought I just saw a rat- false alarm..."

A shaky sigh escaped his mouth, trying to mask the quiet moans that threatened to spill from the increased force in his ass with exhaustion. "I fucking hate you.", the mutter was barely loud enough, only for Kusuke's ears to hear. And oh, he was enjoying this.

The blonde shot him his usual smile, "Love, how about we go eat in that restaurant you like after we're done, hm? Will you forgive me then?"

For outsiders it might've seemed sweet, but (Y/N) knew exactly what this meant, after all, they've been on this rodeo already.

Kusuke liked having his boyfriend shower him with affection whenever he tortured him like this. It was like getting a reward for being amused by humiliating him.

What he just said roughly translated to: "Do you want to suffer more? Or will you be nice?"

#x male reader smut #saiki k #saiki k x male reader #x male reader #saiki k x reader #kusuke saiki #kusuke saiki x male reader

[leox-un]

your pirate au set off firecrackers in my brain i SWEAR. made me come up with a whole intricate plotline for how you said ww would be cast into the ocean and vash can only save him in siren form. as well as the aftermath of that hfjkdghf it's not even my au but it's just THAT GOOD.

do you have any more thoughts on it?? backstory? overarching plot with knives? anything?

im so starved on this concept and your brain is so huge

AWAWA TY SMILE,,, im rlly happy ppl like this au hfjsgnf; there is some. Vague overarching plot with knives, lemme put it into words best i can since im. Not A Writer lol

so essentially knives in this au is rlly similar to how he usually is, kill all humans such and such; his big plan though is to drown the world by slowly raising the tides with. Idk Siren Powers (trimax spoilers in a sec) probably similar to how he fuses with the plants in the manga but like. not actually fusing if that makes sense

and ofc the reason hes stinky poop is because of all the humans trying to hunt sirens to extinction; vash and him washed up onto a small island village, where rem found them and took them in without people knowing they were sirens

since theyre kind of an anomaly (normally sirens are pretty animal-like, and cant change their body to look like a human) rem was able to let them interact with the village a bit; vash and knives both had their own experiences with the villagers, leading to the starts of their opposite ideologies n such, and things were fine for a while until a group of pirates came to the island and destroyed everything; rem's sacrifice in this au is her distracting some of the pirates to let vash and knives be able to get away from the island safely

oh god i just realized this is getting p long uhhhh long story short they end up separating because vash wants to go back to living with people and knives is like "fuck them", at some point they meet back up again and thats when vash's arm gets yoinked by knives even though he insists its the humans' fault, and yeah Stuff Happens

i dont remember if i posted him before but i have a vague drawing of how knives looks in this au but its kinda eh so youre just gonna need to take this for now before i redraw him

#trigun au #pirate au #trigun #my art #doodle #au

[pompadourpink]

Hi mom! I need some advice ! I trust your opinion , im so sorry that this will be a long one ! Im starting my freshmen year at college this fall, after a prep year. I want to open an instagram account , i like taking pictures and i want to keep up with my friends from prep year. The thing is i am a socially anxious person. And when i was in middle school i was made fun of because i had so little followers ( like 25 smthing) and i got sad and closed my account. I was 12 when that happened, i was also being bullied in many other ways. So i am afraid now that people will mock me for not having many followers and they will think im unsociable or uncool or something like that. The thing is i also think instagram is a fake place, but many school clubs announce things there and in college you just want to fit in. Also i was the nerd all my school life, i got no attention from boys whatsoever. I got really insecure, all the people that saw me this year tell me that i have changed so much, now i get compliments about my looks but i still feel unconfident. When it comes to interacting with boys all my friends tell me im too unapproachable. Maybe an ig account will help that? honestly idk. and i know that im overthinking this issue but that’s me unfortunately 😭

part 1

part 2

actually i hate ig flirting? like what does liking a story even mean i hate that kind of stuff. But appearently my generation dont know how to make a move in real life because all the relationships i know of starts online. I cant complain because i could have made a move? but i didnt because im anxious and sometimes insecure because of all the bullying i got in middle school. They made fun of me in unimaginably cruel ways , it still has affects on me years later. I am so desperate for male attention, like i was wearing a tshirt that was slightly wide in the collar and a classmate checked me out , i got really happy! How silly is that! Because i was told that thet were disgusted to even look at me before and they dont consider me as a woman !

Now i go to the best college in the country, i changed a lot physically ( that doesnt matter, i could stay ugly and they had no right) and they are still horrible human beings. Sorry to burden you with all these stuff, it took another turn .

Since i got shit treatment for being ugly earlier in my life, i guess i need validation, posting pretty pictures and being hit on by boys and it sounds silly to me but it is like that.

What do you think about this issue? I know that it’s a bit all over the place , sorry about that! Lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

*

Hello dear,

There is a lot to unpack here so Dr Talks too much is back in office.

Of course, you should get IG if you feel like it. You were 12 a long time ago, those people are probably not in your life anymore (and if they are, they should get fired, no one will arrest you for not talking to people). I also have a ridiculous number of followers and I don't even think about it (at least they actually care when I post), that is not what we are here for, numbers mean nothing and anyone who tries to tell you anything different doesn't deserve a place in your life.

You are at an age where this type of desire makes sense. If you want a collage of the things you love to make yourself feel happy and discover yourself, do it. And yes, if people find your account and like it, you could make some friends. And if they don't and mock you, you know who to avoid.

The rant about loneliness is worrying me greatly. If I could go back and talk to my 18-year-old self, I would tell her to drop the boy-obsessed attitude. The truth is that being desperate is a bad look, but also a very obvious one. You can get groomed easily because what you want is flagrant and any guy at least a little bit charming will drive you insane by just maintaining eye contact and smiling. And if a man can be super lazy and still get you, he will do exactly that and play with you until he's bored and dumps you without a care in the world. That is not a compliment. There are too many stories of women who put men first and got fucked over for people your age to try it and think it will go differently. Make yourself the main character of your life instead of forcing yourself to live in the shadow of people who don't even seem to like you.

Now, some homework:

Watch this. Excellent advice from a 20-year-old lady making the best out of loneliness instead of letting it destroy her.

And this. What happens when girls are boy-obsessed. If you have time, watch the show. The entire world agrees that Carrie is the worst character of the series because she's a shit friend, doesn't learn from her mistakes, and can't be trusted.

And finally, worry about yourself. There are billions of men on Earth and many will find you attractive. You have a long life ahead of you. A nice body is not enough to keep a guy and even models get cheated on. Don't date someone because he liked your cleavage. Having low confidence is a curse because it turns you into a people pleaser, and that just makes you a liar and an easy victim. People can't know you if there's no one to know. A great personality is what makes people stick. Listen to yourself, try fun things, find a therapist, and get a couple of hobbies. Get yourself some girlfriends and do things with them, strengthen your circle, make yourself a person worthy of being befriended or dated, and one day someone will say oh, there's that guy I used to know in high school, I think you would really like him. Don't force it. Don't chase. Only accept someone who is truly happy to be around you, or sentence yourself to have to heal from relationships forever.

Love,

Mum

#ask #malks

[aloera]

Aloera hii came running when i got the notification, djdjd incredibly as always ❤ can i ask how much time did it took you to find that tone in ur writing? I mean they way you describe things and feeling without making them too "poetic"and corny like it often happens when one tries to write? Also i wanted to share with you the manga panels i searched after reading your fic just so idk gsjd the expressions and significance fjdjf (i love this face is so :() (second one their canon dynamic>>> fanon)

I know these last too have been brought so much times but idc this will always be iconic, the first high epic point in the manga, everything got set in motions after this(to me) wish with a follow up more substantial after this a hint of a conversation idk (a lot of people have move on from this but i will always remeber) sorry that this got so long i just wanted to share this with you excuse my english have a great week/end.

first off thank you so much!! youre so sweet :)

as to how much time it took ive been writing since i was like.. six. and im twenty now. so ig fourteen years skull emoji.. but in general i think i focus less now on trying to sound like... super smart? if that makes sense? sometimes i think what makes things sound kinda corny is when youre describing stuff that you dont actually know.. so i try to just focus on stuff that i do know!! like for example with similes and stuff i just draw from stuff that i see in my own life.. common things.. and the hope is that it comes across as familiar and people reading that go oh i know what that feels like. yk? instead of trying to like.. idk be the next shakespeare and be super poetic and delve into topics that are maybe beyond me or just not really suited to my style of writing. no shade to people who do that!! thats just what worked for me in terms of developing my style :) for dialogue as well i'll sometimes say it out loud to see if it sounds like smth a real person would say outloud bc sometimes... its not... and i rewrite it until im not like. cringing as i say it LMFOA but also mind u i think there will sometimes always be a certain level of corn bc we are writing fic. like it is inherently corny asf. but once you get over that you can have a lot more fun with it :D

KIRISHIMAS LITTLE FACE SHUT UPPP i love him. i love him so bad. he actually invented facial expressions its crazy. have u seen that one panel of him glaring at monoma i think about it everyday hes SO FUNNY

you r so so so write on canon>fanon w them. their canon interactions are just so lovely and so full of heart and so recriprocated like i just know they are the most annoying two people to be around but they dont even care bc they are having so much fun with each other!!! which is why i love them :)

also. yeah. you and me are very right where you left me coded re kamino. i will never be over it i fear. i will be like seventy years old talking about "it has to be you" "if i cant do this im not even a man" "come" "you idiot" LIKE THAT WAS CRAZYYYYYYY i feel like as much as i get annoyed ab horikoshi kind of forgetting ab krbk i will never fully be able to be mad at him bc he gave us that.... like That Moment seared itself into my personhood. kickstarted a hand fixation and an undying loyalty fixation and like. twenty other fixations. is what it is ig.

sorry this is so long omg i just had sm to say but in conclusion thank you so much for the ask!! i will always love talking ab krbk so i really appreciated getting to talk about them with you :)))

#its just embarrassing how i am still so gone over them tbh #like its 2024. pleaseeeee get a life (to myself) #but no. i have like seven wips lined up in the making #being a bkdk would make more sense atp since they r like... the actual focus of the show... #but no i am still stuck on literally. what. season 2???? 2018 bnha?????? jesus christ #somebody get this man a new hyperfixation #ask #hadasiris

[deepfriedseagullfeet]

I know cannon Jack in the lore was like the only thing that could make the convoluted mess of a story make sense. But it seems like there's going to be a slight re-write of the lore. I was actually disappointed with the whole "oh lets just do a supernatural research and containment place is evil(or not evil, just selfish in the pursuit of knowledge/curiosity that causes catastrophe) and thats why bad thing happen" as I writer I understand this kind of horror trope is popular, but I'm also tired of seeing it.

It feels so overdone at this point. But I understand it's just something he likes and I respect that.

The only possible writing solution is to put Chase in cannon Jack's position, of course this leads to a wall of "how we gonna write ourselves outta this one in a way that makes sense?"

Anyway on the question of what is Anti, it's definitely moved on from "oh he's just a demon or something" but I hope they do keep it interesting.

Now for your writing, is definitely so far removed and so unique no one else could come up with the most depressing, distressing thing I have ever seen. The danger feels more real. The fact that there was this guy who created things without a sense of care, just abandoned them. I kinda cried not lying about that.

Now for the comics....I'm not sure if I'm going to buy a digital copy. It does seem like these versions of marvin and jackie are going to cater towards the fannon side of things, with slight changes. Now if this is going to be a multiverse thing...(another trope trending in fiction media lately) I can only hope it's not complicated.

Please keep creating.

I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS SOOOOORRRYYYYYY

but yeahhhhh idk how i feel about the whole iris thing! ive seen the whole mysterious facility thing before and i feel that its such a different direction than the original lore.......and jack being put in a coma by anti and EVERYTHING ABOUT THE ORIGINAL ANTI VIDEO was super cool in my option AND CHASE MASQUERADING AS JACK CAUSE THEY LOOK IDENTICAL ughhhh it was a neat narrative. not that im a Hater of what sean does creatively but i do prefer the original lore ya know? maybe thats nostalgia talkin but yeah. i actually have not bought the comics yet because i genuinely kinda dont care, which seems mean to say! maybe i will read them eventually but for now im not super interested. anyways. sean can do what he wants forever and i have my own opinions and complicated thoughts about the years of the jse ego hayday. but im glad i can talk about what i think about the 'modern' ego stuff without much backlash and we can have discussions 👍

also im sorry my ego lore made you cry omg 😭 i mostly just daydream at work and come up with wild shit that i think is fucked up and cool and i sometimes post about. its crazy to me that my ideas are impactful and make people feel things 🥺 thank u all for interacting and enjoying what i make, i genuinely hope i can find the time to work on more ego stuff soon (like the iceberg. i keep re-writing the script over and over and cant make up my mind about certain things. IM SORRY ITLL COME OUT SOMEDAY)

#ask #again i wasnt trying to ignore u anon!! just forgot to answer whoopsies

[ethmaron]

mer au ramblings under cut ↓

i was thinking about the mers and their behaviors in particular-- i can't remember if i've ever really talked about it (if i have it's on one of the older posts? probably under one of the asks from capricorn) but bc i had spotted that recent thing i drew in my canvas library the mers are so cat-like in my head. or something. i do think they hide under their tails a lot when they get upset or embarrassed and stuff but that's probably more coming from i think they hide away in little caves and stuff normally and its like just a placeholder behavior sorta deal. they like the dark and small spaces bc like tims got that cave he likes to go to a lot (he takes kon there eventually--idk if ive ever mentioned tims little hideaway lol)

i do think they also like to smack each other with their tails as a playing thing which is fun until its a human and they get absolutely wasted by 30+ lbs of pure muscle. i do think it would be hilarious if in some of the first interactions dick smacks someone and there is very quickly rules established. he ends up only being able to play with jason until he goes . "missing". (tbh this is making me think about little dick and jason and im getting very teary. thinking about bruce deciding to reach out to the humans as a way to help protect both himself and his sons from poachers and stuff. gets them access to medicine.)

i DO think that dick and jason woulda been much closer in this though and i feel like being honest mers kinda have shorter lifespans in the wild? (bruce is probably still pretty young by human standards i think, but is getting up there by mer standards) limited access to food + getting into fights + poachers. actually the fighting aspect is interesting to me because i dont think i've thought much of it before? the only natural defenses they have are teeth, nails and tail. i think mer fights would probably be very quick and typically escalate fairly fast. (also realizing bruce would definitely be a killer in this au by virtue of protecting his territory + his family. wonder if it would turn into a more he doesnt want his kids to have to ever kill? but idk bc that would be a part of the lifestyle of a mer, and they would need to know how to defend themselves anyway) weak points definitely tail fins and throat. fins specifically because they cant swim without them so they'd just kinda sink and rot at the bottom of the ocean if they dont have someone helping them; which is to say in the case of shredded fins because jason kept his fins but theres holes in them which Does effect his swimming speed but only because of the holes and not the material of his fin (i do think the humans have tech that could theoretically replace tail fins in order to help them swim again but they wouldn't be as durable as their natural fins. wouldn't be able to tolerate fast swimming. probably what would've happened to babs--i don't think ive ever addressed her in this au? i should go and design some of the people that are missing. i think shed be reallyyyy pretty.) but i think that once a fight is determined to be to death they just go for the throat/gills.

regardless that is to say that the hiding behavior i think is funny and i do fully believe the first time kon or jon sees it they immediately make a cat comment and then show pictures. depending on who the mer is/their landside education they dont even know what cats are which would be kinda funny i think. hilarious to me if damian convinces jon to bring a cat because he wants to meet it (he definitely still loves animals--probably bffsies w some of the sharks and other animals in their territory.) I DESPERATELY WANT KON TO BRING KRYPTO oh god kory would have a heart attack if he snuck krypto in. bart would love him. i think tim and cassie would be a little ehhh about him but krypto so sweet just a little baby .

i had talked about a while ago that i should try to work bernard in--i think itd be kinda silly if there were a bunch of tims like comic HS friends that are just interns or something in different areas of the facility and stuff and they all end up kinda becoming friends anyway. bernard, darla, ives, etc. idrc if it doesnt make sense this entire au is a trainwreck anyway lol

ACTUALLY very funny to me i was thinking abt how tim gets a little demanding in getting carried/carted around on land and he finds out kinda quick most the people there can't actually lift them up (kon can technically lift tim/bart/cassie but he Struggled at first). him asking ives to take him to a different tank and ives just gives him a really long look before getting a wheelchair and helping tim drag himout of his current tank LOL i think there would be lots of cursing and sniping from both sides .

ill wrap this up but now im thinking abt mer courtship stuff--idk if ive ever talked about that here? its kinda silly LOL

#hush lumi #mer au #if you read all this ily #this is literally how my messages to emmy go its just word vomit #i apologize for typos or grammar mistakes i only type properly for fic or school

[autumnshighlady]

ok this is so stupid but i really want to see neris and reader interactions,, like the small things, the comfort, the protectiveness,,,, ughh love what you've done w the story man, desperately waiting for the next part fr. (go on your own pace tho) glad to know i've shifted you a little bit on a azriel thing (devious smile) - ithink he's a good character for most people because he barely had a personality in the books and so we can usually make up stuff yk, like he's mostly just broody in the books and we're told stuff abt his personality but not shown it. can't wait to see what happens next! ohh also the dragon interactions!!! i wanna see those too!!! eris has hounds right,,, it wld be cute for them to protect nes and r tooo,,,, ahhh sorry this is literally just me ranting lol, obv feel free to ignore the reqs,,, i really want to let you know that your writing is good bc you seem to get less interactions than you should!! and a weird amt of hate lmao like whats w the people being rude about ialtpwf and wanting guys my age so badly, like i enjoyed it despite not particularly liking the daddy kink partbut like. really,, why so rude??? want to see how reader fares in front of beron too, i assume word of her power will reach him too/. anyway, how long are you planning on pushing the beron overthrowal thing (im being curious not being like ugh when are u plannign on ending it,, in case thats what it sounded like,, idk man im overthinking). oh also! want to see court relations with all of them after berons gone. before berons gone. all of it, i want them to be better leaders/people to the court people yk. oh!! also lucien-reader friendship!!! love that!! we havent seen much of it but hes def the kind of guy to tease r abt eris when they start actually flirting and getting near a relationship yk. eris-lucien brotherhood too tho, obviously. also the lady of the autumn court!! watching them bond w her!!! ahh jfoisfkjmdofikndfvg ium sorry have a great day today1!! hope you rest well after that long ass shift. oh yeah i agree w you on the feyre thing, she's def just mostly like a pawn to rhys yk, i think she was better as a char when she was w tamlin tbh, altho obviously i dont want her to be with someone who kind of abused her without any groveling at least/ cant wait to see more interactions fr!!!! oh when i said in the story, i meant the actual books, well and yourss but the actual books mainly! anyway i think you've managed to be realistic w all of them in a way that is good. bye! oh same anon as last time. should i give myself a name, is that fine,, i'll choose * anon. sure.

i can’t wait for you to see more of the neris x reader interactions! you’ll love it. i feel like i’ve done a decent job of their dynamic so i’m super proud of it so far.

Azriel’s journey is one i have planned out - it’s going to be complicated because yk he’s been loyal to rhys for 500 years and that’s not suddenly going to change, but he will continue to play a role.

you’ll see more of the dragons for sure! and the hounds will be involved too so fear not ;)

yeah idk why people got so weird about guys my age like i’m glad they enjoyed it of course but i kinda did everything i wanted to do with that fic so i don’t feel i have anything else to add to it if that makes sense

beron will play a bigger role soon! as far as them overthrowing him, prob within a couple chapters maybe a bit longer. im still playing around w the details of how exactly it’s going to happen

expect a LOT more lucien and lady of autumn in the later chapters! i love love love writing for lucien so i’ve got special stuff for him planned hehe

tons more interactions to come. more lucien, azriel, gwyn and emerie, cassian, etc. thank you for your message angel and NEVER apologize for rambling - nobody has taken the time to say this much about my fic so far in one go so i LOVE reading these. send as many as you want <3

#* anon<3 #ialtpwf #<3

[joelockescoffee]

I just cant get over how…genuine kit and joe’s friendship is like some ppl think just bcos they’re not super duper nice to each other or overly idk…friendly in a sense that they’re always hanging out and attached at the hip, it means that what they have isnt real? which doest make sense to me because whenever i see them interacting its just…warm? and its like what you see is what you get, theres no pretending for the public to promote the show :) seems like the way their relationship developed was very organic as well from awkward moments to being as close as they are now sorry for the rant i saw an edit of them and was feeling 🥲

I guess I am one of those few people that didn't actually think 'they don't like each other very much' after seeing early HS interviews. I thought they were really good friends that are comfortable enough to banter with each other because I have friends like that. I became sure about it when I saw in one interview where kit said nice things about Joe, that really came from his heart then he said "no I take it back" because maybe it striked to him that he was being very nice, and he wanted to go back to making fun of Joe, and Joe did something similar, I actually had posted that video weeks ago, captioned it 'this pretty much sums up their friendship' lol. Although Joe used to not hesitate often, he said what he had in his mind in other interviews.

Joe used to say he's never this nice to me lol. Right now what's happened is, they've reached the stage where they can openly compliment each other without saying it through insults, and make it all chaotic and stuff. I'm not saying they were very comfortable at the start like they are now, but their relationship has definitely progressed since the HS release.

#j coffee answers

[unethicalexperiments]

idk how to really start this but like. my mental state is just so exhausting like im so tired of it. theres no reason i should be this volatile theres no reason i should react to situations the way i do. just last night i had a weird (not even that bad) interaction with a stranger and it pissed me off so much i tried to kill myself. i wasn't sad or embarrassed i was just so furious over it, because it was a 10 second interaction and i couldn't explain myself to the other person, and i was just so fucking angry i was ready to physically hurt the other person over it well after i walked away. and then once i got home i was so upset that i got that unreasonably angry over a nothing interaction. and its not like i even got angry while i was still with the other person! it wasnt until after i walked away! there were only two thoughts circling in my mind for about 30-60 minutes after (idk im so bad at keeping track of time) that were just "why do i react to things like this" and "i just want it to stop hurting" bc thats the worst of it it just hurts so much. i swear im in physical pain after having breakdowns like that i feel hollow in my chest and obviously i dont have to say anything else about how much it emotionally hurts. i just want it to stop hurting. is that really too much to ask for? to not be in so much pain for just a little while? i guess i still havent come to terms with the fact that im disabled, because i still think of being disabled as someone who uses aids, even though i know invisible disabilities are a thing. i dont see other peoples invisible disabilities as being invalid, just really my own, because i still feel like im high enough functioning that i shouldnt consider myself disabled. i dont use mobility aids yet i dont take pain medication yet so therefore the literal brain damage i have isnt bad enough, im still fine. i kind of got off track but thats also part of it i guess. another thing that really gets me is the fact that i actually do have bpd, i was diagnosed by an actual doctor at 17 and its still a more than valid diagnosis. i feel like im in this constant cycle of "i have to get better because i cant keep living like this" and "i have to get worse so everyone else can see what theyve done to me". like last night i literally had to sit down and reread the dsm chapter on bpd to remind myself this is why youre like this. you do have this diagnosis its real and it is a problem. my 30 minute episodes of actively trying to kill myself to be followed by watching tv or something and laughing as if none of that happened. i still cant fathom not living like this, not having to go through this every fucking day. and then on the other hand i had a great interaction today at my job that made me feel really good about what i do and proving the work that i do is actually helping the community around me. and i felt on top of the world for like an hour, i felt great! and then another thing at work happened where i proved myself/my team to be right about something! which was also great! and i got another half hour of happiness. and then i get home and im reminded of how alone i am, how i really have no one to do or share anything with anymore. which is partially my fault and partially not! im not gonna act like im the most pleasant person to be around or that im easy to deal with, but fuck, man, i try. and it always feels like no one else is trying. i cut my own hair for the first time a few weeks ago; it came out great! and had no one to tell about it.

and now im just staring at a wall over all of it. none of the bad stuff happened none of the good stuff happened. im gonna get violently angry later and im gonna be nearly euphoric later, its just another day. and i want to change i want to change my lifestyle so bad but how can i do that without any help. i spent years of my life begging for other people to help me and got ignored, which resulted in my disability. i tried so hard to fix it on my own but i couldnt! im not a doctor! and now ill never be because i couldnt finish my pre-med classes because of my disability! i feel like im constantly screaming at the top of my lungs and waving red flags shouting please for the love of god someone help me every day and every day nothing changes. they say you cant help someone who doesnt want to be helped, but has anyone actually tried helping people before? youre telling me you cant problem solve? you cant find a different road to a solution, just because we cant take the easiest one? im sorry that its not easy for everyone else to help me, but how does anyone else think i feel?

but whatever. im fine now. i relived every emotion i went through while writing all that but im fine now. now that its all out there its all out there, out of my system. i dont care anymore. because it didnt matter. because it doesnt matter. none of it matters. it happened and its gonna happen again. ill go through these cycles again tomorrow and the next day and the next week and the next month and the next year and so on. it is what it is i guess. but does it really have to be.

#talking to myself #content warning for like. borderline personality disorder. i guess. #this is just a wall of text bc i wont go back to therapy no one feel obligated to open or read this

[orenjibot]

Haha. I was like mega flipping my shit over it on twit cause i’m still working stuff out in my brain but!

Turns out i might also be autistic. Like mild autism perhaps.

Like… i always thought it was just an adhd thing? But it would make sense if i have both cause there were a few things i couldnt explain about myself in very small ways with just my adhd in particular.

But it would make sense if it was autism cause it also explains why i would always analyze smth like i was picking it apart to understand it. It was never smth i just understood without words, i had to actively pick things apart to understand it? I thought i was curious but no it was because i couldnt understand how the world works so i WANTED to understand. I get incredibly frustrated when i cant understand smth at all. It makes no sense and it hurts me and angers me i dont get it. I get insanely angry! Like irrationally so!

In turn i realized how that thinking and putting things in to set categories and patterns in my head has caused me to misunderstand a lot of social situations too. Like its not too bad but i defs mistake ppl’s intentions and stuff bc the way they word things isnt clear to me (taking things literally/at face value).

I also realized this mindset has also influenced how i saw regular human things like bonds of any kind and how i expect ppl to treat me bc i thought these are normal things i took very literally. Like i only understood jokes as things ppl say to be funny and used in any other situations like directed @ me means u are making fun of me and DISRESPECTING me… when all they wanted to do was make a joke and be light hearted.

Idk if this counts as autism but i also misunderstood friendship like just vibing with each other isnt rly friendship cause to be friends u usually have to do more than that. This is largely driven by the fact i, personally, had to put in more work into friendships due to being horribly neurodivergent and not understanding how to talk to ppl too (being bullied was also a factor). A friendship to me is one where u have to understand me and not just me understanding you so anything else that isnt just that isnt rly a friendship to me so i approached every friendship like i have to understand how ppl worked in order to be friends with them. This is apparently NOT a normal thing people do. This can also be attributed to my adhd and is likely more cause it, but the fact i didn’t understand that friendship wasn’t so… give and take made me realize how much pressure i was putting on others to understand me, i just thought that was normal and like a given cause i do it, why can’t you? I took everyone not giving me that as a sign of either disrespect or disinterest and took it as “oh u want a shallow relationship with me”. Like i took friendship too seriously when i shouldnt have.

There were also gestures i took as negative and hostile, and triggering my RSD but also that it didnt adhere to what i understood what being friends was. I figured I was weird and oddly sensitive about interactions, but i did find it really really weird how it was very specific and particular gestures. I cant understand it so it is making me UNCOMFORTABLE; less like “man idgi” and more “this is making me feel so incredibly HURT and uncomfortable that i feel like crying”.. to the level of wanting to cut off ties or discarding them entirely.

It now made me reevaluate what happened between me and ann as well. Like, yeah, i DONT think what she did was nice or correct but the treatment i gave her was too drastic without explanation. I don’t feel the need to be her friend or approach her since she didnt try to approach me either (also blocked me at one point after i unblocked her so yah lol). She never said that i misunderstood her at all, i was the one always having to do that?? And i kinda didnt like that… and she was giving a lot of…. Yellow and a few red flags. Like it was hard to approach her to let Her Know she did smth wrong cause she always took it so dismissively/defensively too. If anything, i do think i should apologize to her for not realizing that a lot was because i didnt realize i was autistic, but sadly i don’t feel the need to wanna chat with her unless she does so first or the occasion comes up. I have always felt the need to apologize for her for that cause that was indeed my fault, but… Im also kinda petty and stubborn so i want her to actually apologize instead of like? Be a pussy lmao. Like I forgive her more for her response then, but i still didn’t like how she casually threw me aside for being direct. Like that was a HUGE deal for me cause my exfriend did that and acted like NOTHING happened. Like bro… i was very hurt man by you doing that even in a normal situation 😭

Anyways….

I took a few tests to rly be sure it is a mild thing and not some misreading. And they all came out mild/moderate… its like high but not definite severe. It is very close to it so im like.. well fuck.

I will go get a diagnosis at one point but realizing this made me just…. Realize so much things. Like it all just… clicked.

I feel like i should apologize to cam about that too.. just a whole bunch of things.

#teru’s orenji texts #its really long btw #but ya boi is doing self reflection and introspection #then came to the realization that it was autism

[lostacelonnie]

Gotta keep that hope around for sure i will keep my fingers crossed for you. Oh that is a win win i gotta remember that, i say as if adhd wont make me forget. I usually just look for em to see like. What kinds are around. Whole ones. Broken ones. Weird shapes. Its interesting. Dont take any with me though. That. Makes me wonder how they teach english over there. Honestly yeah i look for a name in the bio or just. Shorthand the username somehow because i gotta have some way to refer to people. I havent used a bio in years so people use my username all the time. Oooh norway i have always wanted to go there. I dont camp as much as id like to but i should more tbh. I have seen her stacks & i gotta say. Clara is wild cant believe i let her sit unused. I dunno how much ill get but im gonna for sure be savin as i can. I think that one is last yeah. I am always interested at the start but fade by the end because the new stuff always slows down. Same ive been playing indies more like gris & obra dinn. To try & branch out. Good story annoying exploration is chasm in a nutshell yeah. True big cities be like that. I live in a smaller one now so very little happens. Mine hold dye decently well which i appreciate. Just wish we had true permanent dye. Maybe one day. Thats how i am with nail polish i always get it on the sides & mess up but ive gotta just. Be patient & let myself learn. Happy 1.2 star rail update

sorry for the late reply shfjglk i truly have no excuse other than "i was holed up in my room in an attempt to avoid interaction with my grandma but i accidentally also avoided interaction with Everyone Else" so im. So sorry ab that. COMING BACK hehe thankies!! if things go wrong i guess ill just move out for a while and then come back Suspiciously A Different Gender. nobodys gonna know. but yeah good luck on remembering that shdjfk!! and ahh thats fair i just usually visit pretty big beaches so theres not many around by the time i get there. english is taught just so you know the language but following the education system without external classes will get you a2 knowledge At Best and its getting worse with each year so. lol. and yeah frfr i use usernames as names alllll the time...... norway is very fun i recommend it!! esp if you prefer colder climates like i do. ahhh understandable!! i dont actually. own a tent but as i said, maybe one day. id rather go with friends tho which is a problem in on itself cos i dont have that many friends that actually know each other. unless i go with my photo camp friends. thats an Idea actually. YEAH CLARA IS GREAT.... i unfortunately dont have her quite built [terrible relic luck...... plus ive been more focused on trying to prepare for kafka recently] but seeing as shes my main [despite having jing yuan] i Will get her better stuff someday. i have 140 pulls rn so im equally nervous as i am excited. yeah it really Is like that bc im always paranoid ab spoilers so i always do at least the new story as fast as i can. except for right now as i still havent played the new honkai chapter [but tbf my game only managed to download the update yesterday, 3 days after the launch of 6.8] and i honestly dont have the energy to do it today so maybe tomorrow. ah that sounds fun!! i came back to minecraft recently idk why but ive been having a Great time. after 130 in-game days i am finally no longer homeless. and oh when i get older id like to move to a smaller city [since i like having things close but dont like having drama all the time] but im still thinking ab where. ah thats cool...... i tried looking for the dye that i used on camp but couldnt find it. rip. and yeah same tbh thats why i never paint my nails. and yeah happy star rail 1.2 o)-( i like the double planar ornament event since thats the only thing im missing for kafkas things......

#but at least it turns out that when im sealed away in my room im also extremely productive in drawing and writing #asks #pen pals

[cxsmicmyeon]

examples go waaaay back to their variety appearances. all of the hosts + some members make junmyeon the punching bag for laughs. sometimes i can tolerate it, but it feels too one-sided. like, junmyeon always talks about how much he loves his bandmates and…. all we get from them is secondhand embarrassment? i’m not saying this happens all the time, because we do see members support him during his solo activities, but to non-fans/casuals a lot of the teasing makes it seem like he’s not respected or taken seriously as the leader, let alone the member of exo. his solo music is more niche, but the popularity gap is very glaring.

+ also forgot to mention that i feel like he gets treated better & gets to be himself without being judged outside of group content? like besties in wonderland, his relationship with other idols like shinee, red velvet, snsd, etc.

okay yeah to be honest i do recall seeing stuff like that. but then again i haven't seen every single clip/interview/etc of everyone so idk. because i've seen clips of the members being supportive of myeon as well. (not to mention chanyeol getting him a food truck to support him when he was filming his upcoming drama like... you can't tell me that isnt support)

also sehun and minseok came to surprise him at one of his concerts in grey suit era as well.

idk i feel like if you're in the fandom long enough and seen enough content u know it's not really that deep and there's no bad blood but i do understand your point and agree with some myself.

as for the non-fans... yeah i can't w some of them. and i 100% am aware of the popularity gap with jm and the other members (case in point: grey suit and hurdle significantly less views than rover. not saying views are everything but i can see that and i do wish people appreciated junmyeon more than just being a leader/mom/whatever) (because his solo work is absolutely incredible. like come on)

and regarding your second ask, i haven't seen besties in wonderland or interactions w other idols too much so i can't comment on that. however i've seen interactions like w/ his other friends and costars and stylist that are v positive so i see where you're coming from

but yeah the members are very supportive and it is not just him being a punching bag. i cant say the same for certain variety hosts because i havent seen much and also that's their own issue tbh. like as a host they gotta be respectful to their guest. but i do wholeheartedly believe the members are ALL close and supportive, even if it may not come across like it all the time. i don't see any sort of malice in them goofing on him but i do get your concern that it may be too much.

#asks #i hope im making sense my brain is mush 24/7 #sorry if this is too long and rambly

[calamarispider]

,

#calamarispeaks #vent #vent tw #in the tags hereee #i. honestly have very little control over the stuff im dealing with here so i dont really know how to put this into words #but im. not soing good lowkey HSBJDB #like im just skating by on dragons and hyperfocusing on stuff #but like. everything is happening all the time??? and. i dont. have the energy for anything #i think i really need to talk to people. like verbally interact with people #currently i only really talk to people thru text and its nice but i just. idk #im honestly not at all comfortable with my family enough to talk about things i enjoy without feeling.. Bad #so i cant talk eith them #i dont go to school anymore which is really good bc school was awful. but all the four people i knew in person that im comfortable like #that im comfortable hugging and talking to? i only ever could talk to them at school. and now i dont go there im like. i was already hanging #by the tips of my fingers but now i feel like the wall is crumbling almost #like...im genuinely going months with no interaction with people that doesnt have a barrier #i only have Four people i trust enough to hug me. and those are all people who i barely ever see #ive been going without proper physical contact for years but i was like. managing yknow? and i was able to hug those four occasionally so #it was fine. like as fine as it could be. but now im just. there are times where i feel crushed by that lack of Anything #and i know its something so minor in it all but like. honestly everything else has been so much im putting as much of my energy into it as #i can?? and i just feel like im running on fumes or something whatever the phrase is #i feel kinda..bad sometimes hdbsjs bc. i see ppl i care abt not doing good and i really want to help or listen #and i do when i can!! but i feel bad for not being able to always be there. which i know is an unrealistic expectation! its just. idk. #i know i dont communicate whats going on for me enough so im worried theyll think i dont care but i really really do... #another thing that sucks is. just how. bad i am at crying. i feel like if i could cry Properly for once itd help somehow yknow?? but i never #cry and. i kinda hate it. when i was younger i used to take some weird pride in the fact but now i just feel bad and shaky and apathetic and #emotional all at once..which. as someone who has a LOT of trouble identifying my own emotions it is very difficult to process #idk #im just. tired. and i really need to be with someone and hug them and not feel like im going to melt into little bits of smoke and dust #ill delete this later altho ill probably forget to tbh