#idk I kind of don't know where my place is in the disability movement if I view my disability as a 100% bad thing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

loser-female · 1 year

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Hi! This is my space. If you are curious on the subject of radical feminism this post is for you.

Few things:

Kindfem (here on nice vs kind);

Bi-focused and disability/ND focused;

Anti-individualist,

Anti-black and white thinking,

Politically a socialist,

The job of a SOC Analyst.

About mental illness and excuses (one day I I'll make an actual essay about this, currently be happy with this version)

Ask policy:

I'm going to donate 5€ to a feminist organisation for every hate anon regarding me being a "terf" or something;

I'm going to donate 5€ to a DV organisation specifically for every hate anon, comment or reblog about me being in a relationship with a man

And you still won't get an answer! Ask yourself if it's worth it.

I will do my best to catalogue and keep this space organised. Most of my tags are organisational, they are placed to help myself and others finding the stuff they need to find.

1. What's radical feminism? ->Tag full of resources to explore on radical feminism.

-> here is a non-radfem article about choice feminism and why is bad.

-> another article on why choice feminism is bad, from a Black woman perspective

If you are curious about doing some feminism in your life I have the how to be a feminist tag.

2. Relationships tag -> This is compiled mostly for women who have relationship with men and want to lower their risk.

Here are my favourite non-radfem things, resources and opinions on the subject;

-> Zawn is a brilliant writer that tackle the inequalities in marriage and motherood. She is very active on substack and has a lot of resources for women in a long term relationship with men.

-> You should have asked is a comic about the mental load of work women have to do in a relationship with men.

-> She divorced me because I left dishes by the sink is a blog post made by a man for men that explains how this little non-action lead ultimately to his divorce.

-> Fair play is a method to address domestic inequality few people I know swear by.

-> Duluth model on abuse. Please read that carefully before dismissing it.

In the relationship tag there is also criticism on how this could work or not.

I now have a female separatism tag!

-> Some reflection on separatism and power

3. Tag Cloud! (hopefully)

-> self explanatory tags dedicated to these subjects.

4. How to connect to others? -> @nansheonearth her blog is full of resources of where to find others, Discord servers, how to visit womyn's land resources, IRL meetings and separatism in general. Check her out!

@rad-fem-zine with my own contributions:

-> my mom's story (medical misogyny)

-> Cybersecurity guide for cyberfems

5.My favourite essays.

-> I'm not here to make friends

-> The Ethical Prude

-> How to grow the fuck up, a guide to humans

-> The Gentrification of Disability (it explains how the neurodivergent movement is failing ADHD and autistic people, thanks to )

Also: I sometimes reblog things I don't agree with but I consider worthy of consideration regardless.

6. Still missing from this post:

Stuff over female separatism and how to practice it IRL to various degrees.

The actual tag cloud (Tumblr doesn't allow me to use js on the blog and god I'm going to beg the staff but idk)

Send me a message/ask if:

Want to know stuff about cybersecurity!

Have recommendations for this post.

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cripplerage · 1 year

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I feel like more artists should talk about how they use references (if they want to) because there's been a really weird stigma around it lately. So:

I use Pinterest sometimes. Pinterest is pretty shit if you're looking for proper references that are credited and definitely approved as public domain by the artist, but there are lots of appropriate ways to take inspiration from works that don't meet this criteria.

Poses. My poses are so boring - so I look at photos of people online. Poses can't be copyrighted, although I bet someone's tried. Sometimes I'll download a photo and draw a stick figure over the body to really understand what's happening in the photo. I personally don't use that in my actual drawing but I'm pretty sure that's completely legal to do anyway.

Outfits. Again, I dress boring myself so I tend to draw boring outfits too. I'm thinking I'll probably make an outfit college from photos on Pinterest - so long as I don't publish it anywhere, it's perfectly fine for me to do so. Well, technically I probably could publish it, just like people publish mood boards and stuff, but I just personally wouldn't feel right about it.

Art styles. I definitely don't just use Pinterest for this because I like actually giving artists support and attention, but Pinterest is one of the places I go. I look at art and think, what do I like about this piece? What don't I like? What do I think of the composition, the lineart, the colouring techniques, the proportions, the stylization? Is there any aspect I might like to try incorporating into my own work? Learning from other artists is important. Our art styles are a blend of a bunch of diferent influences, so studying those influences and learning what you like and dislike is really good to do.

Colour palletes. This is definitely something people try to charge for but again, you can't copyright these. I've never used procreate but I've heard that you can even just drag an image into their program and they'll automatically make a pallete out of it. I never eyedrop, even though that is legal to do, but it's nice to easily find lots of examples on what colours look nice together and what colour combinations I personally like, very quickly.

Anatomy practice. I don't really do this anymore but in the past I've downloaded photos of people and used it to draw their line of movement, a basic stick figure of where their body proportions are, and then their body, all over the image. Then I practice doing it without the image. Technically this is probably legal to publish since you'd be adding to it after the body is drawn, but it's definitely best to learn how to draw bodies on your own. Starting from references is good though. This is especially important if you're trying to draw people of a certain ethnicity for the first time, fat people for the first time, people with certain disabilities for the first time, etc. I know from experience that when you first start looking for photos of diverse people on Pinterest, their algorithm might show you some pretty gross and degrading stuff, but if you ignore those and only interact with proper references, you'll fix your homepage pretty quickly.

And again, there are better websites. Actually, I'm trying to incorporate more websites myself but I kind of keep forgetting what they're all called and I forget to tag when I reblog posts about it 😭

But I just wanted to share that references are ok and idk maybe start a discussion about how other artists use them because I'm really curious.

Oh also if you go to advanced settings in Google images there is a setting for usage rights that you can customize. I don't know how accurate it is but we were taught to use it in a professional grade design course so I'm hoping it's good.

#art #references #pinterest #look to be honest I'm not an expert so I could be wrong about something #please tell me if I am #I really just wanted to start a discussion and maybe invite some more experienced artists to share too #long post

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oh-katsuki · 3 years

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Tw fatphobia

i'm sending my question lol hi! i'm nervous sending this lol IDK why

so i'm chubby, i haven't always been chubby but i am now, and i like being chubby, i'm really happy with where i am now with my body, but i grew up surrounded by asian family and friends living in an east asian country, i'm not going to delve deep into the details, but it was kind of just ingrained in my mind when i was young that fat = bad as everyone in society there is fatphobic (and it's not overlooked, bc it's just for lack of a better word, normal) especially the boys and it's just a greatly esteemed standard of country-wide beauty. so that, including the laws set in place to prevent people from becoming plus size and young adults calling the body positivity movement "embarrassing", it was just ingrained in my brain without choice, but that changed when i left and moved countries, i let myself gain weight for myself because i liked it! and i'm literally obsessed with myself now lol

anyways, when i visit asia, i guess my old thoughts come back kind of, so my question/biggest obstacle as a big person is that i still have trouble being able to belive i can be fat while still being healthy, both my parents and uncle is both doctors, and i just want to communicate that people CAN be fat and healthy, i just don't know how, i'm chubby and perfectly healthy, but i know there are people bigger than me and i just don't know how to let not only them, but other friends know that it can be possible

sorry if this was a odd question, you're the only person i feel kind of safe asking. have a great day cal ❤ (also can i become an emoji anon?)

hi!! thanks for sending it <3, i'm really happy that you felt safe enough to ask me, that makes me really glad. I'm gonna put my answer below a cut to avoid clogging the dash!

edit: AHH yes of course you can become an emoji anon!! pick one, dearest <3

so, i'd like to start out by saying that i'm sorry that you had to deal with that type of environment surrounding body types. that's really hard. i'd also like to say that im really proud of you and happy for you that you're happy with yourself. that is so so important and you deserve that happiness.

now, internalized fatphobia is a really hard thing to deal with because it's something that you have to do mostly on your own, and that can be really hard when you're dealing with social influences that tell you otherwise. it's just about remembering that no matter what your weight / body looks like, you are deserving of love.

but i also want to say that you do not have to be healthy in order to be happy with yourself as a fat person. health is not the pinnacle of value, nor does it have any effect on that. the idea that "fat = unhealthy" is actually a campaign that was created by diet companies in the 1960s in order to push their products. there are actually a lot of studies that talk about this push and the idea of "low-fat diets".

this isn't to say that there aren't complications, but as far as weight goes, it's important to me that you (and everyone) know that you have value regardless of health and regardless of what your body looks like. since that campaign by diet companies (and especially with the rise of the body positivity movement), "health" has become a leading argument to excuse fatphobia. it pushes the narrative that health = value, which is not true at all.

health is important, but this idea that someone's health determines the level of respect they get as a fat person is really harmful, especially within the disabled community because there are people for whom "health" by societal standards is unattainable. it pushes the narrative that it's what we should be striving for, when the reality is that we should be open, loving, and accepting of everyone, regardless of weight, body, or health circumstances.

it's actually incredibly harmful to excuse fatphobia / weight under the premise of health for this exact reason. it excludes so many people from a movement meant for everyone and sets a standard for "acceptable fatness" in society which is bullshit in it's entirety.

now, i'm not sure how to answer your question to the fullest, but i can tell you that your value is not reliant on your health or your weight. it is an intrinsic part of you and no matter what you look like or experience, that will never go away. focus on loving yourself regardless of that fact. focus on healing and on repairing that mental trauma you suffered from where you grew up, but don't base your worth on health, base your worth on you. It's a part of you, regardless of anything, you have value to yourself and the people around you that cannot be taken away.

#[ 🏩 – chatting ]#tw: fatphobia #tw: body image

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aquarianlights · 3 years

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I am in a serious financial bind. 😥 If anyone is in a position to listen & help or signal boost, pls keep reading...

This is from my apartment complex. I am in low-income housing. I called them & sent them proof I could pay on the 23rd. I told them I could (just barely) put 100 down now & they said that was too little.

They said they would file for eviction on the 16th, which adds $150 to my rent. They will cancel the court date and eviction on the 23rd when I pay.

But that doesn't cancel the $150 filing fee.

Idk where that $150 would come from. Idky they think it's fair that someone who cannot pay should be forced to pay even more??? That makes no sense. I can only just barely afford my rent every month as is.

These are from my energy company. I apparently owe them over $600. I genuinely do not know how this happened. We were on the phone for a very long time trying to figure it out & I was in tears for the latter portion of it because I swear I paid.

I usually keep record of my payments via taking a picture of my receipt since they are electronic, but my dog chewed up my phone (which I have pics of if need be for evidence) and broke it, so I had to get a replacement phone sent to me from the insurance company & nothing transferred from the old phone, so all my pics were wiped.

I found no record in my emails, either.

The meds I am taking to try to go into remission and the autoimmune disease itself both cause brain fog and issues with time warping, so it is possible maybe I skipped a month or something, but I highly doubt I would have skipped up to 600+ dollars worth of payments.

I have tons of electronic and hard copy calendars & they are all synced and constantly updated so that I know when payments are due. I also have text and email reminders sent to me, but I could find no reminders in my email for MONTHS now until they were telling me they were going to shut my power off if I didn't pay this. Idk why I was not sent reminders for months???

In the end, I agreed to set up a payment plan. Paying, like... 50-60ish on top of whatever my electric bill is every month for 12 months. It was the lowest they could go.

I can barely afford my electric bill as it is, so idk how I will be able to do this? They did give me a list of charities in my area so I will be using what little energy I have to call around & see if any of them would be willing to help me pay this. Idk how those work (they're mostly churches???), so I'm just gonna try & see what happens. 🤔

On top of all that, I *think* this is telling me my Medicaid has been cancelled but I'm not 100% sure?????

I'm going through treatment for a very serious, disabling problem that should last ~1 year and rn Medicaid is picking up what my Medicare doesn't cover and some of my doctors/specialists and treatments are medicaid only.

If I lose this, I'm basically done.

I know they'll do backpay if I get it back, but Idk if I *will* get it back. I'll be trying to get it back, but in the meantime, I guess I'll just have to pay out of pocket, idk??? Which I do not have.

I have lost almost ALL autonomy due to this autoimmune disease, which (in a very simplified form) is basically my immune cells "eating" my muscle tissue. I can barely get out of bed. Treatment should put me in remission & give me my life back. I am seeing a rheumatologist, neurologist, dermatologist, PCP, physical therapist, psychiatrist, psychologist, and going to a holistic pain treatment center that does a different kind of physical therapy to bring down pain levels (which I was put into that program by my rheum). All of these are in relation to & necessary for my disease. I am going through TONS of testing almost weekly now & trying out treatments like IVIG and chemo where I am in the hospital hooked up to an IV for 4-6+ hrs of that day and the cost of those things without Medicaid picking up what Medicare doesn't cover is astronomical. I have to sign waivers every time I get my blood drawn (which is almost weekly now), do tests, and do treatments saying I will pay if Medicaid does not pick up the extra.

I already have crippling medical debt; I don't need more. I'm scared they won't let me do any more tests or treatments if they see I am just letting it all go to collections & am not paying.

This could mean the difference between having a life worth living (to me) where I am happy & thriving & autonomous or being bed-bound & living a life of just existing from day to day & miserable & in pain & suffering & unable to do anything for myself. This is literally life and death for me because I wouldn't be able to handle continuing to live in the latter scenario. I cannot handle living like I am now. Knowing my treatments are progressing is what keeps me going. Knowing I can go into remission is what keeps me going. Knowing my future is one completely different from now is what keeps me going. But if I cannot have that and am destined to live in this current state, it's just not worth it. I don't know a person alive who would want to live like this.

Finally, my anger noodle needs to get to the vet for MULTIPLE things. Nothing is, like... life threatening or super immediate like his cancer was last year, but they're things that need to be addressed in terms of preventative care & to make sure he isn't in pain.

He needs his trachea checked, possibly x-rays for that, maybe more...

He needs some medication updates, needs a physical, needs a full groom & nail clip under anesthesia (for those who are not familiar with Echo, he has extreme fear-based aggression & usually gets this done under anesthesia; since I worked with him so much, he had his first non-anesthesia nail clip at the beginning of quarantine, but he has gotten worse during quarantine & with my muscle eating disease, I can no longer restrain him & don't have the physical strength to run a brush through his thicker fur as his winter coat is in, so I can no longer groom certain areas of him at home, so his tummy & back legs are matted & I fear he may need to be shaved... which breaks my heart since you don't shave double coat dogs unless medically necessary.), he needs a full physical, & needs to be checked over for MCT's.

He may also need a fecal test or something else, as he has been having odd bowel movements. 😥 His tummy has been upset lately.

I have been crying myself to sleep every single night & often during the day because I cannot get him to the vet. No, it isn't urgent or life threatening. But he is reverse sneezing more than normal & I worry about tracheal collapse, which is a common small dog thing & even MORE common in pomeranians specifically. Every time he has a fit, I think "Oh god, this is it. This is the time I'm gonna have to rush him to the e-vet & get slammed with a huge bill & he is not gonna be okay..."

It breaks my heart to see his legs & belly matted. He is horrible about letting me groom him coz of his aggression so he only gets a full grooms at the vet, but I do short grooming sessions at home with him nightly. Takes about 2 hours just to do the majority of one side of him (not even all of it; just most) coz he needs breaks & lots of praise every few strokes or he will tear me to shreds & hurt himself snapping on the undercoat rake. 😥

But now that my autoimmune disease has atrophied my muscles to the point holding up my phone without something to prop it up feels like I am lifting weights & tires my arms out with a lactic acid burn & pain, I can no longer groom him with the patience he needs & can only groom in 20 minute intervals at the VERY longest. By the time I have gotten one leg done during the week, his entire other side is matted. 😞 Matting on dogs---especially double coat dogs---hurts them. It's like if someone were to wrap your hair around their fingers & then pull it taut. It's a constant pulling pressure on their skin... it's painful & irritates the epidermis. I feel miserable feeling the matting on his back legs & tummy & now feeling the mats beginning to form on the rest of him. He hates me working them out, even with the detangling spray. I know it must hurt so much...

So he may need to be shaved at this point & that will destroy me. I feel sick thinking about it. But anything to get him out of pain. Maybe it is what's best for him while I go through this year of treatment & get my muscles back. But in order to do that, I need to get him to the vet.

The stress of not being able to get him to a vet is tearing me apart & literally making me physically ill.

He is my world. My everything. My #1. My heart dog. My priority in life. My entire universe revolves around him. I would do anything for him. Not a single person, animal, thing, etc, comes before him. It is KILLING me that I cannot provide proper care for him right now. I always always always make sure to sacrifice for him if need be & his things ALWAYS come first, even if it means I'm not eating or not paying bills or whatever. As long as he is taken care of & his needs & wants are met, nothing else matters to me. And right now........ I feel he is suffering because of my finances & the fact my treatment with building my muscles up is not going fast enough.

I cannot control the latter one, but the first one is something I can at least ask for help for. So that is what I am doing.

If anyone is in a place to help, these are my venmo & cashapp codes. I also have paypal.

💙 Venmo: @kqroswell

💚 Cashapp: $kqroswell

💜 Paypal: @kqroswell or [email protected]

If there is another form of payment you're thinking of, lemme know. I also have fb pay activated if you have me on FB (Killian Q Roswell).

Thank you to everyone who read through this & anyone who can help or reblog this. 💖

Sincerely,

Your v scared, struggling transman who really wants his bills/rent paid & his dog to go to the vet,

Killian 💞

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epajournal · 7 years

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