#idk what any of this is love me anyway

[shepscapades]

[dbhc flavored] Hermit a Day May: Day 14 — Doc!

Featuring both a current-day s10 doc and a verrry early s8 post-deviant doc! :]

#TELL ME WHY THE POSE CAME OUT SO FRUITY 😭 it wasn’t intentional but yknow what. he’s kinda. so it’s fine #the horns are removable! :] #dbhc #dbhc doc #docm77 #hermitaday #hermitadaymay #hermitcraft #hermitcraft au #dbhc ren #rendog #dbhc art #art escapades #I’m kind of obsessed with him and it shows sorry #drawing early ren and doc makes me think… ren had so many cybernetics in s8 #maybe doc helps build him some android-tech prosthetics :3 #dunno dunno… idk I love them so much #ren is the reason doc has any human mannerisms at all tbh #otherwise mans would be so annoyingly robotic about everything #being an android based entirely around searching for loopholes and out of the box solutions in code will do that to you. logic brained doof #/aff #ANYWAY I RUN #I gotta post other dbhc stuff tonight that’s important so I gotta go finish it

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

#writeblr #this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol #by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations #and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me #& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what???? #like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it #''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother #and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!'' #yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious #anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it #it's seen as the only important thing #even if ur gay #and it's a nuanced thing idk #and while rn i i.d. as lesbian #like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like . #sexuality is fluid... #don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label #they're like GET in the BOX #if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me. #(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)

[ruporas]

invisible scars (referenced previous talk here)

[ID: A colourless, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood talking about Wolfwood's scars. They're both laying in bed and topless. Vash lays on top of Wolfwood, playing with the rosary around his neck. Then, Vash kisses a spot on Wolfwood's chest. Wolfwood asks, "What are you doing?" Vash smiles sadly, "You got shot here. In the last town we visited. You didn't even bother moving."

Vash props himself up over Wolfwood, who frowns slightly. Wolfwood is quiet for a moment before he says, "You remember that, huh?" Vash grabs Wolfwood's left wrist and brings it to his face. "And here." He kisses another spot there. "When you helped free the hostages from that robber..." Wolfwood dismissively says, looking away, "Was a lucky shot." Vash huffs, “Don’t brag. Jeez.”

Half of Wolfwood's expression is shown, eyes returning to Vash who is now sitting up, continuing to say, "And..." Vash goes on and kiss Wolfwood's right palm. "You got cut here, even though that girl was aiming at me." A moment from the past flashes, of Wolfwood grabbing a knife aimed at Vash, his hand bleeding.

At present, Vash moves down and puts another kiss on Wolfwood's right shoulder. "And here, from watching my back." Another memory flashes of Wolfwood and Vash back to back. Vash looks back as Wolfwood grins while holding Punisher, bleeding from multiple gunshots in his shoulder.

"And," Vash combs up Wolfwood's hair to reveal his forehead, "Here." A final memory shows Wolfwood with a regeneration vial in his mouth while getting shot on his temple. The next panel is framed in blood with Vash at the center, eyes wide and stunned in horror. The next panel is a closed up shot of Wolfwood's eye, locked on Vash's face.

Back to present, Vash’s head is bowed down as Wolfwood raises a hand to his nape and says, “Spikey.”

Wolfwood looks serious and frowns as he says, "We talked about this. Those were my decisions. They're not there anymore. Forget about them." Vash looks very sad before he smiles ruefully and says, "I still see them. All the time." He leans down so they touch foreheads. Wolfwood’s sorrowful expression can be seen as Vash says, "You protect so much. I could never forget what you've done to me. And many others..."

In the last image, they're drawn more cartoonishly. Wolfwood sweats and asks, "You don't actually remember every wound, right?" Vash points at a spot on his chest. "Kuroneko left a scratch here 7 times." Wolfwood, startled, says, "Why the hell are you keeping count—" End ID]

Credits for ID here and here

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #another scars comic for one of the vw week days!!!! frankly i think about their scars WAY too often . most notably wolfwood's because #it really symbolizes a lot for him imo bc for vash it's a history of all the people that's ever harmed him betrayed him and the trust he has #given to humanity despite it all. its a beautiful reflection of his character and then u look at ww and presumably #since we dont really see him half naked Ever (shame) and i mean. i guess technically its a hc -- i assume he wouldn't have any scars bc #of the regen potions (which is why he doesnt have his t scars btw the regen pot took them away :pensive:) #in a way its like washing his hands of blood. giving him the body of someone who might never been involved in a fight never held a gun #but he knows thats not true yet he cant really do anything about it anyway bc he's still just human. if he stops taking the regen pots #he can't press forward. so its just a rinse and repeat and growing accustomed to whats inflicted on him because he knows it'll go away at #the end of the day. he's human but he's also not he's far beyond what could be considered a normal human but he still just is. #mortal but also not immortal. idk. i overthink about it a lot GMSKGMDK frankly i dont think it matters THAT much in the context of trimax #but it means a lot to me somehow. also thinking about how no matter how many times ww kills he's never numb to the sensation of it. maybe #the adrenaline gets to him for the beginning half but ive been rereading like.. vol 3? and that entire fight for ww #u can slowly see him spiral as he keeps on going on. anyway anyway. i love ww #ruporas art

[lazylittledragon]

i'm going to scream i got accused of being a transmisogynist by someone on twitter because of this specific part of my t4t steddie art

#ramble #the thing is 99.9% of people thought it was VERY funny #i've had 1 person genuinely have a problem with it and it was because i kept eddie transmasc #basically they were upset because i didn't make them both transfemme bc i just. didn't want to #twitter hasn't learned that not everything is for you and if you don't like something you don't have to interact with it #and just because you don't like something that doesn't mean it's Bad #and also sometimes queer things aren't made to be understood by everyone #it was specifically because they thought it made them into 'just another straight couple' #as if that isn't a MASSIVE erasure of trans people's queerness #trans people in m/f relationships doesn't make them any less queer or somehow inferior to gay relationships #it boiled down to 'but you could've made them lesbians :((' YEAH BUT I DIDN'T #idk it was just absolutely infuriating trying to defend myself without saying 'idk what the fuck you want from me at this point' #anyway transfemme stevie is very big on twt but i didn't know whether to post it here or not #but i might if people want to see it because i love it a lot #twitter would die if they saw the olden days when we called them genderbends and there wasn't any trans content at all

[archersartcorner]

I think the Bad Kids deserve to cry a lil. As a treat. IT’S CATHARTIC!!!!!!!!!!!

#my art #described #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high: junior year #the bad kids #ima be tbh. I did mostly just wanna draw Gorgug crying WJDBDJSB #I hope we get any kind of acknowledgement about what Gorgug saw in the forest… I’d love to see a scene where he asks digby & wilma about it #ALSO I LOOOVVVEEE THAT THEIR PRONOUNS ARE THEY/THEM BCUS THEY ARE A SET. DO NOT SEPARATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #also. hope that the time thing Brennan mentioned is an actual plot point and not just A Convenient Retcon Function #like pls brennan… I respect ur storytelling so much I do. if I wanted retcon excuses I’d go back to TES and read about the dragon breaks #especially since like. I love the seven so much. I’ve joked before like. t7 is frankly FHJY for me. we can skip right to sen. year JY is T7! #so if hes walking stuff back esp stuff that was established in T7… idk im not gonna be like. mad. I have a Life lmao. but maybe a lil sadge. #ANYWAY zac once again making one of my fave PCs. gorgug is so sweet guy… #also hope we get to see the artificing class & teacher!

[whollyjoly]

it's gon' be a long ride home tomorrow from tennessee to texas to la well if i could i'd never leave you i'd come home to stay another night from home away from you it ain't easy i know (baby, don't you want me)

the bucktommy cowboy au nobody asked for part three (parts one and two)

thinking about rancher!tommy who goes on long two-month cattle drives and dreams of the gorgeous cattle hand back home...

(song insp.)

#tommy spending long nights under the open sky dreaming of bright smiles and sparkling blue eyes #maybe worrying a little that the home he dreams about wont want him the same when he gets there after so long away #but all that goes out the window as he and the herd crest the last hill into the san fernando valley #and tommy sees a tall figure outlined in the gold rays of the sunset high atop a horse #and evan is there to welcome him home with a flask a whiskey and a warm kiss that chases away any lingering doubts #ANYWAYS I HAVE LOOOOOTS OF THOUGHTS ABOUT COWBOY BUCKTOMMY OKAY #they live in my head rent free #i just love them your honor #song is baby don't you want me by lucero #bonus lyrics: “when we first met / i'd count the days / i'd make excuses / just to say your name” #and if thats not bucktommy coded idk what is #anyways can you tell im obsessed!!!!! #bucktommy cowboy au #otp: better ways to get your attention #bucktommy #firepilot #kinkley #tevan #fireflight #evan buckley #tommy kinard #911 abc #911 on abc #911 moodboard #em's moodboard #mine #im back on my cowboy bullshit

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS. #ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY.. #i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them. #but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore. #but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow. #ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks- #-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl- #-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!! #anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

Ok I know I'm heavily biased here but like I kinda love that Astarion's romance is one of the few in this type of video game where you basically end up canonically unmarried and childfree in his "good" ending? Just travelling the world??

Like it's honestly the millennial dream lmfaoo cannot believe i chose what would undoubtedly be my favorite option, first try

#also love that he's basically atheist like ok thanks you made the man exactly coded to be my type #and the humor and beautiful curly hair is very much something my IRL partner has too so like... how can i resist #anyways not sure a lot of people relate cause i think a lot of people want that fairytale romance #even tho wyll is right there yall #but i love me an unconventional or nontraditional one!! #i'm TIRED of being married with children as the endgame pls let's not do it #also a lot of people seem into him being a dad and im like... how? why? where in canon did he ever lmfao #more power to ya if you dig it but i just dont see it being in character #like in DAI i loved cullen and my inquisitor getting married and having a dog #and they seem the type to wants kids one day. but Tav & Astarion? lol no #i just think it's neat #is this a hot take? i have no idea but i don't see it mentioned a lot as a new fan tbh #pls do not come at me you can enjoy whatever you like #i haven't seen the ascended stuff so idk if being his 'consort' is like being his bride #but i feel like overall it's not and the vibe isn't all that different in this sense #except that you're hosting evil parties instead of travelling :/ #Astarion #bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #bg3 #also YEA he's nice to Arabella but you can tolerate certain kids without wanting one or being 'good parent' material #case in point: me lmfao #OKAY update i saw the AA stuff and yeah you're kind of implied vamp married and he does mention spawn as children 😫 #but he also says in banter he won't make any other spawn??? so what is it dude #anyway that's also clearly the “bad” route and he doesn't seem as happy as unascended #who feels “truly free” #and if you're durge I'm pretty sure its even worse to consider having kids?? lol #but i digress

[automatonknight]

here's the prick i was talking about^ i have so many thoughts and notes about him but they're mostly incomprehensible so when i organize maybe them i'll post them who knows

#art #oc #id in alt #um ummm #idk. if you have any questions as always feel free to ask #ANYWAYS. geez making him has been so fun i love this asshole so much i'm going to put him through the horrors #salute to you Kordian if you see this if you hadn't shown me stalker i probably wouldn't be running in circles about patches now #more notes. i actually have no idea how magic works in-universe i just thought it would be cool. he's not good at using it he sucks. he's #shocked himself so many times probably. will that stop him? no #he practiced fencing for a few years so he actually like. knows how the fight flows or whatever. i think he definitely picks out targets wh #don't get their bearings quite as well and dances around them and shit like that he just likes to be mean i guess #idk idk. also he joins the lovelies at one point. that's like. semi-canon. it's sorta like with triumphant and normal walenty to me. like #they both exist but the. so to speak. evil one kind of doesn't in a way if you get me. i mostly thought it would be a fun thing to think #about. and also patches would do that and then he'd freak out like what the fuck am i doing and leave #another random thing about his pronouns. well i mostly use he/him for him. that 'any' is more in a way that if you referred to patches as #she or they or it or anything else he wouldn't care #but he usually doesn't mention it and stuff

[viviebeevie]

|| click for better quality

#tumblr HATES me #idk what I’m doing wrong ajdbfj I don’t think my canvases r too big but hhh #if I use canvases any smaller it will be pixel art #dies #ANYWAYS #this isn’t ship art but I love them #they’re goofy #punches the fuck out of piers #i love him #piers nivans #chris redfield #re6 #resident evil #my art #vibbet’s art

[designernishiki]

ladies and gentlemen. we got em

#this is so fucking FUNNY dude banxbsnanxb #STRAIGHT PEOPLE ON REDDIT ARE SO MAD AND IM JUST SITTING HERE. GRINNING. PLEASED #that’s 700x more in character than the alternative and I’m just praying this is true/legit (cause I couldn’t find the exact interview this #is from- but I didn’t see anyone saying it was fake on Twitter/Reddit so idk) #to be fair I could only scroll through comments on reddit for like a minute before it started giving me brain damage so #but yeah bdbxsbscshxjdj YOKOYAMA. MAYBE IVE BEEN GIVING YOU TOO LITTLE CREDIT. #I absolutely love seeing all these basic ass straight folks getting so pissy about him not settling down with a nuclear biological family #and a wife and all that and dying at the ripe old age of his fucking mid-50s #like no shit???? what games have you been playing bro the whole fucking Point of his idea of family is unconventional #he’s literally a fucking orphan who didn’t grow up with any biological family are you fucking fr #dgagdhdhd ANYWAY yeah I’m seriously hoping to high heaven that this is legit #rambling #kiryu #yakuza #rgg #rgg8

[momomallowart]

Imagine if you will... Ray with a tongue piercing ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ 💭

A more "messy" version under the cut bc I wanted to practice tears and stuff.. 👀

#Ok I may have put way more effort into this than I should've but I literally couodnt stop thinking about this #I used this as an excuse to practice rendering so technically its productive (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠) #I really enjoy drawing tears and idk what that says about me as a person #I just love the idea that hes just talkin away and suddenly you see a little glint in his mouth and oh my god is that what i think it is? #and hes such a bottom that he would just let you open and pkay with his mouth to see for yourself #he's just my lil sopping wet meow meow I can't help but put him thru situations #I think often about his different sides clashing and being very gap moe #like Ray with a tongue piercing? please someone hold me back bc I'm going AT HIM #I want EVERY version of this man I cannot even explain how deeply the brain rot goes #the day I stop thinking about Saeran Choi is the day I drop dead actually #I wont fill the tags with any more salacious comments about how sl\/tty this man is but just know the thoughts are plentiful #anyways enjoy the food #more art to come as I'm getting back into my artistic groove lately #my art #mystic messenger #mysme #saeran choi #mysme saeran #mysme ray #mystic messenger unknown #unknown mysme #ray mystic messenger #mystic messenger fanart #mystic messenger mc #mysme mc

[foolsocracy]

Whose Jean Paul Valley :•0? ~Canary

hes so wild

This will be the ultra abridged version, but basically he starts off as this com sci grad student and his dad (dressed liked a crusader and bleeding out) barges in to his dorm/shit apartment and is like... GO TO SWITZERLAND!! and dies

anyway in switzerland its revealed that he comes from a long line of guys that have been conditioned and trained to act as/be Azrael for the catholic(?) cult Order of St. Dumas. This whole training-conditioning thing is called The System, and it turns out Jean Paul has already been through that in his childhood and now that the previous Azrael is dead (his dad) it can be activated.

Its sort of like an alternate personality that is incredibly violent and 'righteous' and whatnot. And it turns out he was a test tube baby that got experimented on to give him physical enhancements. All this was repressed tho and he had no clue.

His debut got him involved w/ Batman and he takes up the mantel at one point after Bruce breaks his back. He does an awful job cause hes predisposed to being awful. Im p sure he was made batman in response to readers being like "batman should be dark, work alone, and be so mentally ill". And the writers went oh ill show you mental illness. He stops being batman and stuff but thats who he is at the way beginning. I'm still learning my Azrael/Jean Paul lore so I can't speak too much on it. Take this w a grain of salt

heres a random collection of panels/pages cause theyre fun:

#i love him tho #hes Foolsocracy bait #i love his 2022 mini(?) its so fun #plus azrael in his head is like.. a huge 'biblically accurate' type angel there. so neat #very random assortment of panels/pages here but its what ive been able to find searching his name up LMAOOO #i wanna learn more abt him i feel so new to him rn #so idk if everything ive said makes sense/is correct #but i tried #the first 2 panels r him as batman. Azbat if u will #the loser ever #jean paul valley #asks #dc #canary-song #does this make any sense lucian??? 😭😭😭😭 #thank u for indulging me anyway #a man can be something so tortured……

[glowinggreeneyes-e]

let’s talk about the Captain’s education for a second because we all know he’s a bit silly with what his position was (requiring the revolver… for the countryside… multiple times; immediate invasion the second France surrenders; perhaps disproportional order and expectations; and that’s not even mentioning the ‘job’ he has for himself as a Ghost and his interactions with them) but he’s also well spoken, enthusiastically informed and seeks out knowledge, and to get the role of Captain - albeit researching at home in Blighty - he must have had a pretty well-off life beforehand.

this is where all the headcanons about his father and family life comes in; we know his father was distant and uninvolved as was typical - even expected- in that era, but he probably handed down expectations (and trauma lbr). so, working backwards, the requirements for the Captain’s position were more meritocratic - Oxbridge or Durham educated at the very least (being ranked) OR experience.

he showed enthusiasm to get involved, we know he had previous experience (one day… the ceasefire) and training to get the rank, but we can only theorise that he was probably working in a similar field to his position. to get to Oxford/Cambridge he had to be at least middle/upper-middle class with family friends/acquaintance connections to Oxbridge, or even his father went to Oxbridge (Oxford is 30 ish miles away from Bledlow). I don’t think he’d find it hard to get in with a connection, being the studious and enthusiastic man he is on certain subjects. so he’s not just a nepo baby.

about his upbringing, we can assume a few things from where he was born - it’s been a conservative seat since 1924, and probably similar ruling when he was growing up there, it’s very white and middle class, very Church of England, but not very interesting… sensibly English village vibes/typical middle England. he probably didn’t get to experience much of it though, likely sent away for some of his schooling.

also basing him off of the men that made the limpet mine, we can use their histories to fill in a few gaps that make sense. they - Stuart Macrae (couldn’t find uni) or Cecil Vandepeer Clarke (Uni of London, dnf) - were both extensively involved in constructing and engineering, even with a military context. both of them were involved in WWI and the army interwar, so they were decorated and knowledgeable before they got into WWII… we do not know if the Captain was either of those things. we do not know his route into his role, but I think the university and research career route makes more sense for his character of overcompensating and paranoia.

but he’s not uninformed or underprepared for the work of Captain in this research base for HQ - he’s fucking clever and connects dots and can gather information - he’s uniformed and underprepared for the position of Captain. which is where Havers comes in.

and when Havers leaves, he compensates for that two-fold loss. and when he dies, he continues to fit the Captain position, informed by his father, the war, the expectations, the position, his education, but not by experience like Macrae and Clarke. he’s good at his job and work but he was born to be something else not quite within reach.

#anyways RIP Cap you would’ve loved queer history studies at Oxbridge xx #idk if any of this makes sense and please add to it bc idk what I’m on about half the time #also correct me on details bc idk much about history #captain #bbc ghosts #capvers #meta #post #writing

[leave-your-body]

sorry im still thinking abt dreams new smp like what the actual hell. what is going on. how is thsi man so pathetic that he cant let someone (whos supposed to be his FRIEND) have his own moment without trying to steal the spotlight. what on earth is Language Ranking. what language will everything be "live translated" into. how lame does this guy have to be to do this i cant wrap my head around just how pathetic this is

#check notes #discourse #neg #negativity #even the name bro what the hell. United Smp. ru shtting me. #i dont rly go here anymore so idk if quackity still talks to him or not but if he does PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CUT HIM OFF!! #THIS IS RIDICULOUS #anyway reminder that if any of my followers r dream stans kindly Get Out.

[transmascutena]

thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder

#akio and utena #m #long ramble in the tags sorry: #the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human #he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims #he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry. #and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios #(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think. #like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her #i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing #not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that. #and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did #but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her? #whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway #idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims #the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it? #how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions. #(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive #but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.) #when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her #but is there something genuine there too? i don't know. #again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me. #on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had #reflected back at him through her mean anything? #is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid. #either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over. #i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways) #but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly #wants you to analyze and think about. #which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.