#i've been awake for at least 16 hours I remember that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ajarofpickledtears · 1 year

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QUESTIONS FOR YOU MY FRIEND

12. What was your last dream about?

13. What talents do you have?

14. Are you psychic in any way?

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

36. Favorite clean word?

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

41. Are you a good liar?

42. Are you a good judge of character?

44. Do you have a strong accent?

46. What is your personality type?

52. Favorite food?

53. Favorite foreign food?

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

55. Most used phrased?

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

62. Are you a good singer?

63. Biggest Fear?

64. Are you a gossip?

74. Are you ticklish?

77. Have you ever drank underage?

78. Have you ever done drugs?

91. Do you like your own name?

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

12. What was your last dream about? I'm not good at remembering dreams, actually don't usually, but last night... there was something about having to escape from an empty dilapidated building (I watched John Wolfe play Escape the Backrooms yesterday lmao), but another part of the dream also had to do with me getting advice on how to go to the toilet xD

13. What talents do you have? good question, idk lol. none that are useful for life. I'm good at sleeping though.

14. Are you psychic in any way? don't think so

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? hell no. way too much attention, too little privacy, yadda yadda

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? there is no such thing as "typically". I eat yogurt or porridge or bread with salami/baloney/strawberry jam/nutella... depends on mood, what we have, and how much effort I wanna make lol

36. Favorite clean word? I have no idea what this means

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? can't say for sure but I think I've never even been awake for 24 hours lmao

41. Are you a good liar? uhhh dunno, I try not to lie

42. Are you a good judge of character? I hope so?

44. Do you have a strong accent? in English? I think... yeah? but in German not really :(

46. What is your personality type? INFJ/INFP xD

52. Favorite food? pizzaaaaaaaa

53. Favorite foreign food? oof what constitutes foreign? food from the UK? because ya girl's missing crumpets ;D other than that... baked banana? I don't like a lot of food

54. Are you a clean or messy person? considering that my dad just earlier pointed out how much space I'd had after tidying and that it's getting cluttered again... well. but, he also commented on how dusty one of the kitchen cabinets is because he's not much better than me lmao

55. Most used phrased? I... don't know xD

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? dressed and stuff? can be done in 15 minutes. usually, it's 15 to 30.

62. Are you a good singer? I think so, I guess. it's what family and friends say at least xD

63. Biggest Fear? everything is scary. not being good enough. the future. change. staying like this and never getting better.

64. Are you a gossip? I try not to.

74. Are you ticklish? no. and no you don't have to test it. because i am most certainly not ticklish and nothing would happen. (yes)

77. Have you ever drank underage? nope! didn't even drink when it would've been legal (that's 16 in Germany).

78. Have you ever done drugs? nope, only taking my meds :') guess I was too boring in school or something, never even knew people who did (or didn't know if/when they did lol). considering how "common" smoking weed seems I really do sometimes feel like I lived under a rock or on the dark side of the moon or something.

91. Do you like your own name? yep :D

97. Were your ancestors royalty? not as far as I know. but then again, my family isn't really close, I don't even know my paternal grandparents' siblings? or it might only be grandpa who has siblings. also don't know my great-grandparents' names or anything, so.

#cylas speaks #ask game #friendo izzy #long post #cylas replies #ask

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depths-of-escapism · 3 years

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time feels so blurry lately

#i've been awake for at least 16 hours I remember that #but like?? literally all i remember about today is I built 2 small rooms in Minecraft. had pizza. and I remember making a pb&j?#but i only played minecraft for like 3 hours at most. making the pizza took about 45 mins. and the pb&j like 15 mins at most lol..#and i don't remember what happened the other 12 hours of the day??#like i know that most people do forget the smaller things that happen in the day like not remembering their breakfast and what not #but idk.. me forgetting 12 hours out of a 16 hour day makes me question my sanity a little lol #also posting this onto here just because this whole *thing* has been highly affecting my art lately and how much time I have to make it #also do i tag this as a long post if it's literally all in the tags? ig not

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toscrollperchancetomeme · 3 years

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Lestat de Lioncourt - A playlist

So, guess who made a Lestat Playlist (like there aren't enough already) and decided to sit down for 4-6 hours to find some excerpt corresponding with each song? Featuring 80s and 90s music (clearly showing my age...) as well as many european songs and showtunes. Enjoy!

1. Cathedrals – Ramin Karimloo (Original by Jump, Little Children)

In the cathedrals of New York and Rome There is a feeling that you should just go home And spend the lifetime finding out just where that is

And that was not a good year for me. I was wandering aimlessly. I was sick of things. I was furious with myself that the „beauty“ of life wasn't sustaining me, wasn't making my loneliness bearable.

I wanted to join them. Always do want to join them and never do. „Go home,“ he whispered. - Prince Lestat

(I actually feel like there are quotes that would correspond to this song in every one of the books and indeed have not yet found any other song that captures the general spirit of The Vampire Chronicles as perfectly.)

2. Edge of Seventeen – Stevie Nicks

Well, I went today Maybe I will go again tomorrow Yeah yeah, well, the music there Well, it was hauntingly familiar Well, I see you doing what I try to do for me With the words from a poet and a voice from a choir And a melody, and nothing else mattered

He sat next to me, hugging me and asking me why I was crying, and though I couldn't tell him, I could see that he was overwhelmed that his music had produced this effect. There was no sarcasm or bitterness in him now. I think he carried me home that night. And the next morning I was standing in the crooked stone street in front of his father's shop, tossing pebbles up at his window. When he stuck his head out, I said: „Do you want to come down and go on with our conversation?“ - The Vampire Lestat

3. I ain't scared of lightning – Tom McRae

No I ain't scared of lightning And thunder never killed I was born in a summer storm and I live there still

I wasn't part of the world that cringed at such things. And with a smile, I realized that I was of that dark ilk that makes others cringe. Slowly and with great pleasure, I laughed.

And the labor that brought it forth was rapture such as I have never known. - The Vampire Lestat

4. Junge Roemer – Falco (Young Romans – Full Translation)

Don't ask for new old values See white light, see only feeling The night is ours till morning We play every game Don't ever let this journey end The doing comes only from the being Only from dimensions, that Are worth illusions and sensations Give me more, give me more, give me more...

... and again she laughed. „Ah, but we are splendid devils, aren't we?“ „Hunters of the Savage Garden,“ I said. „Then let's go into Paris,“ she said. - The Vampire Lestat

5. Running up that hill – Candy Says (Original by Kate Bush

If I only could, I'd make a deal with God, And I'd get him to swap our places, Be running up that road, Be running up that hill, Be running up that building,

„Not even with Nicolas?“ „No, god, no!“ I looked at her. She nodded slightly as if she approved of this answer. „Why not with Nicolas?“ she asked. I wanted this to stop. „Because he's young,“ I said, „and he has life before him.“ - The Vampire Lestat

6. Florence – Notre Dame de Paris (Full Translation)

The little things always triumph over the large And literature will kill architecture The school books will kill the cathedrals The Bible will kill the Church, and man will kill God This will kill that

„I never lived in it. I push against the glass. But how do I get in?“ „I can't tell you that,“ I said. „You have to study this age,“ Gabrielle interrupted. Her voice was calm but commanding. He looked towards her as she spoke. „You have to understand the age,“ she continued, „through its literature and its music and its art. You have come up out of the earth, as you yourself put it. Now live in the world.“ No answer from him. Flash of Nicki's ravaged flat with all its books on the floor. Western civilization in heaps. - The Vampire Lestat

7. Go your own way – Fleetwood Mac

Loving you isn't the right thing to do How can I ever change things that I feel

If I could maybe I'd give you my world How can I when you won't take it from me

You can go your own way You can call it another lonely day

„Keep your promise,“ she said. And quite suddenly I knew this was our last moment. I knew it and I could do nothing to change it. „Gabrielle!“ I whispered. But she was already gone. - The Vampire Lestat

8. Désenchantée – Olympe (Original by Myléne Farmer - Full Translation)

If death is a mystery Life isn't exactly tender If heaven has a hell Then heaven can still wait for me Tell me how to handle this headwind Nothing makes sense anymore, nothing's fine

Laughter. That insane music. That din, that dissonance, that never ending shrill articulation of the meaninglessness... Am I awake? Am I asleep? I am sure of one thing. I am a monster. And because I lie in torment in the earth, certain human beings move on through the narrow pass of life unmolested. - The Vampire Lestat

9. A kind of magic – Queen

The bell that rings inside your mind Is challenging the doors of time It's a kind of magic The waiting seems eternity The day will dawn of sanity

And quite completely I understood that it was looking for me, this sound, it was seeking me out.

Blood like light itself, liquid fire.

It seemed beneath the roar of the flow he spoke. He said again: „Drink, my young one, my wounded one.“ I felt his heart swell, his body undulate, and we were sealed against each other. I think I heard myself say: „Marius.“ And he answered: „Yes.“ - The Vampire Lestat

10. La quête – Bruno Pelletier (French version of „The Impossible Dream“ from Man of La Mancha)

To try when your arms are too weary To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest To follow that star Ooh, no matter how hopeless No matter how far

I would remain in New Orleans if New Orleans could only manage to remain. Whatever I suffered should be lessened in this lawless place, whatever I craved should give me more pleasure once I had it in my grasp. And there were moments on that first night in this fetid little paradise when I prayed that in spite of all my secret power, I was somehow kin to every mortal man. - The Vampire Lestat

11. Wicked Game – Chris Isaak

What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you

Yet Louis gained a hold over me far more powerful than Nicolas had ever had. Even in his cruelest moments, Louis touched the tenderness in me, seducing me with his staggering dependence, his infatuation with my every gesture and every spoken word. - The Vampire Lestat

12. Do I disappoint you – Rufus Wainwright

Do I disappoint you, in just being human? And not one of the elements that you can light your cigar on Why does it always have to be fire? Why does it always have to be brimstone?

„And suppose the vampire who made you knew nothing, and the vampire before him knew nothing, and so it goes back and back, nothing proceeding from nothing, until there is nothing! And we must live with the knowledge that there is no knowledge!“ „Yes!“ he cried out suddenly, his hands out, his voice tinged with something other than anger.

And then I sensed it. He was afraid. Lestat afraid. - Interview with the Vampire

13. Ordinary World – Duran Duran

What has happened to it all? Crazy, some'd say Where is the life that I recognize? Gone away

But I won't cry for yesterday There's an ordinary world Somehow I have to find And as I try to make my way To the ordinary world I will learn to survive

I do not remember when it became the twentieth century, only that everything was uglier and darker, and the beauty I'd known in the old eighteenth-century days seemed more than ever some kind of fanciful idea. - The Vampire Lestat

14. I'm still standing – Taron Egerton (Original by Elton John)

And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use And did you think this fool could never win? Well look at me, I'm coming back again

But after the third night up, I was roaring around New Orleans on a big black Harley-Davidson motorcycle making plenty of noise myself. […] I was the vampire Lestat again. I was back in action. New Orleans was once again my hunting ground. - The Vampire Lestat

15. Catch my fall – Billy Idol

I have the time so I will sing, yeah I'm just a boy but I will win, yeah Lost song of lovers, fellow travelers, yeah Leave me sad and hollow out of words

It could happen to you so think for yourself If I should stumble, catch my fall, yeah

I've survived, obviously. I wouldn't be talking to you if I hadn't. And the cosmic dust has finally settled; and the small rift in the world's fabric of rational beliefs has been mended, or at least closed. I'm a little sadder for all of it, and a little meaner and a little more conscientious as well. - The Queen of the Damned

16. I want it all – Queen

I'm a man with a one track mind So much to do in one lifetime (people do you hear me) Not a man for compromise and where's and why's and living lies So I'm living it all, yes I'm living it all And I'm giving it all, and I'm giving it all

It is not enough any longer that my little rock band be successful. We must create a fame that will carry my name and my voice to the remotest parts of the world. - The Vampire Lestat

17. Let me entertain you – Robbie Williams

Hell is gone and heaven's here There's nothing left for you to fear Shake your arse come over here Now scream

I'm a burning effigy Of everything I used to be You're my rock of empathy, my dear

So come on let me entertain you

"I AM THE VAMPIRE LESTAT!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as I stepped way back from the microphone, and the sound was almost visible as it arched over the length of the oval theater, and the voice of the crowd rose even higher, louder, as if to devour the ringing sound. - The Vampire Lestat

18. La bien qui fait mal – Mozart l'Opera Rock (Full translation)

I can feel a violent urge I feel like I'm sliding towards the ground If I don't find out where this plague is coming from I adore having it under my skin Bewitched by mad ideas Suddenly all my cravings take off The desire becomes my prison Until I loose my mind

Yet I was in her arms in this chilling darkness, in the familiar scent of winter, and her blood was mine again, and it was enslaving me. When she drew away, I felt agony. - The Queen of the Damned

19. Tainted Love – Soft Cell

And you think love is to pray But I'm sorry I don't pray that way Once I ran to you Now I'll run from you This tainted love you've given I give you all a boy could give you Take my tears and that's not living, oh

„What do you think I am that I am so easily swayed? I was born a Queen. I have always ruled; even from the shrine I ruled." Her eyes were glazed suddenly. I heard the voices, a dull hum rising. "I ruled if only in legend; if only in the minds of those who came to me and paid me tribute. Princes who played music for me; who brought me offerings and prayers. What do you want of me now? That for you, I renounce my throne, my destiny!" What answer could I make? - The Queen of the Damned

20. Dancing in the Dark – Ruth Moody (Original by Bruce Springsteen)

They say you gotta stay hungry Hey baby, I'm just about starvin' tonight I'm dyin' for some action I'm sick of sittin' 'round here tryin' to write this book I need a love reaction Come on now, baby, gimme just one look

"I want you to put the book aside and come join us," he said. "You've been locked in here for over a month." "I go out now and then," I said. I liked looking at him, at the neon blue of his eyes.

"Do you love me now?" I asked. He smiled; oh, it was excruciating to see his face soften and brighten simultaneously when he smiled. "Yes," he said. "Want to go on a little adventure?" My heart was thudding suddenly. It would be so grand if- "Want to break the new rules?" "What in the world do you mean?" he whispered. - The Queen of the Damned

21. I want you – Savage Garden

Oh, I want you, I don't know if I need you But oh, I would die to find out

"You don't think you'll be back?" he asked. "I think you will, whether I call or not." Another little surprise. A little stab of humiliation. I smiled at him in spite of myself. He was a very interesting man. "You silver-tongued British bastard," I said. "How dare you say that to me with such condescension? Maybe I should kill you right now."

I thought of David Talbot's face, and that moment when he'd challenged me. Well, maybe he was right. I'd be back. Who said I couldn't come back and talk to him if I wanted to? - The Queen of the Damned

22. Lay your hands on me – Bon Jovi

I'm a fighter, I'm a poet, I'm a preacher I've been to school, oh baby, I've been the teacher If you show me how to get up off the ground I can show you how to fly and never ever come back down

I sat down on the bed beside him. And then I bent down and kissed his face again gently, as I had in New Orleans, liking the feel of his roughly shaven beard, just as I liked that sort of thing when I was really Lestat and I would soon have that strong masculine blood inside. I moved closer to him, when suddenly he grasped my hand, and I felt him gently push me away. „Why, David?“ I asked him. He didn't answer. He lifted his right hand and brushed my hair back out of my eyes. „I don't know,“ he whispered. „I can't. I simply can't.“ - The Tale of the Body Thief

23. 20th Century Boy – Placebo (Original by T-Rex)

I move like a cat, charge like a ram Sting like a bee, babe, I wanna be your man, hey!

He drew back with a speed that astonished me, cleaving to the wall. „Don't do this, Lestat.“ „Don't fight me, old friend. You waste your effort. You have a long night of discovery ahead.“ - The Tale of the Body Thief

24. Way down we go – KALEO

Oh, Father tell me, do we get what we deserve? Whoa, we get what we deserve And way down we go

„In chains, to my friend and my scribe, I dictated these words. Come with me. Just listen to me. Don't leave me alone.“ - Memnoch the Devil

25. Personal Jesus – Depeche Mode

Reach out, touch faith

"Don't tell me," Gabrielle said slurringly, "that it's a matter of faith." She sneered and shook her head. "You come like doubting Thomas to thrust your bloody fangs in the very wound." "Oh, stop, please, I beg you," I whispered. I put up my hands. "Let me try, and let him hurt me, and then be satisfied, and turn away." - The Vampire Armand

26. Papillon – Editors

Darling Just don't put down your guns yet If there really was a God here He'd have raised a hand by now Now darling You're born, get old, then die here Well that's quite enough for me We'll find our own way home somehow

"And if I spill my blood down into this coffin now," Lestat asked her, "what do you think will come back? Do you think it will be our Louis that will rise in these burnt rags? What if it's not, chérie, what if it's some wounded revenant that we must destroy?" "Choose life, Lestat," she said. - Merrick

27. Sunday Light – Choir Boy

Why, why, why, are you silent on the ride home? I'd love to see the temple with you Heavenly and bright, golden angel twisted scathing You were one of us, one of us, one of us, you were one of us

"Then come, Little Brother, take me to where you want to talk," he said, and I felt the soft squeeze of his fingers on my arm. "Why are you so kind to me?" I asked him. "You're used to people being paid to do it, aren't you?" he asked. - Blackwood Farm

28. Für mich solls rote Rosen regnen – Hildegard Knef (It should rain red roses for me - Full translation)

It should rain red roses for me All wonders should encounter me The world should rearrange itself And keep its worries to itself

I want to be a saint. I want to save souls by the millions. I want to do good far and wide. I want to fight evil! I want my life-sized statue in every church. I'm talking six feet tall, blond hair, blue eyes- Wait a second. Do you know who I am? - Blood Canticle

29. Constant Craving – K. D. Lang

Even through the darkest phase Be it thick or thin Always someone marches brave Here beneath my skin And constant craving Has always been

I was hunting, thirsting though I didn't need to drink, at the mercy of the craving, the deep agonizing lust for heated pumping human blood. - Prince Lestat

30. Kalte Sterne – Jan Ammann (Cold Stars from the musical Ludwig² - Full translation)

Get up, ride home, on your horse, through your land Across the morning with your reins trailing behind you Build a castle like a dream, build it with mighty hands And it shall be named „future“

Build a castle like a dream Up from the ashes and close to the heavens Build a castle like a dream And realise the future as king

If we wanted to survive, if we wanted to inherit the millenia […] then we had to meet the future with respect as well as courage and count fear and selfishness to be small things. - Prince Lestat and the realms of Atlantis

31. C'est une belle journée – Mylene Farmer (Full translation)

I'm going to bed To bite eternity With my mouth wide open It's a beautiful day

And I felt the cold numbing shell of alienation and despair which had imprisoned me all of my life among the Undead – I felt that shell cracked, broken, and dissolved utterly into infinitesimal fragments. - Blood Communion

32. Princes of the Universe – Queen

Fly the moon and reach for the stars With my sword and head held high Got to pass the test first time, yeah I know that people talk about me, I hear it every day But I can prove them wrong 'cause I'm right first time

„I know that you meant full well to bring Rhoshamandes down, of course you did. But you had no way of knowing that you could. And no one would have predicted that you could. And with the willingness to die, you gave yourself over into his hands... and you disarmed him and destroyed him.“ – Blood Communion

And finally, because I can, a bonus track:

33. Primadonna – MARINA

And I'm sad to the core, core, core Every day is a chore, chore, chore When you give, I want more, more, more I wanna be adored

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curiousconch · 3 years

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Recovery

Chapter 9 of Ricochet (An Open Heart AU)

Catch up here: Series Masterlist

Chapter Synopsis: As Heather is set to recover, will her relationship with Rafael follow the same path?

Pairing: Rafael Aveiro x MC (Dr. Heather Song) | Bryce Lahela x MC (Dr. Heather Song) ft. PLATONIC Dr. Ethan Ramsey

Words: 1.4k+ | Genre: Crime, Suspense/Thriller, Romance

Rating/Warnings: Mature (16+) / themes of physical and emotional trauma

Author's Notes: This very very very angsty chapter was inspired by a favorite song of mine from Taylor Swift's 1989 album, Clean. Halfway through, I wrestled with the emotions of this chapter, and another song titled Say Something, a haunting duet by A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera helped me complete the rest of the narrative.

Thank you so much for taking time to read this series. Please let me know if you want me to include/remove you in the tags list. Also, disclaimer: Majority of the characters are owned by Pixelberry, except the main character Heather Song.

Rafael watched from a distance as the doctors scrambled to revive her back to life.

Seeing her actually slip away terrified him. But what was more horrific is how he could only watch on helplessly, with no ability to come to her rescue. It shook him to the core.

For so long he believed that he can be her own personal savior, her superman. But during the most crucial of times, the sinking knowledge that he simply can't fulfill the one promise he made gnawed at him life a nightmare coming to life.

The fact that he himself had inflicted a deep wound on her heart just a few days ago crushed him all the more.

He had no right to be here, he realized. He had already gave up that privilege on the day he chose his ego over her. It was when he decided to fulfill his fantasy of being someone else's hero, rather than coming to terms with the truth that she will never need him the way he wanted to.

Even when the flashback of them at Donahues, where he asked her to consider taking him back, nipped at his already guilt-ridden heart. The sheer audacity of him to demand that from her, only a selfish person without care would ask someone to do that.

The illusion that he hold onto for so long crumbled into dust. With it, was his determination to cling to what once was.

"She's going to be okay, Raf," his silent torment was interrupted by Elijah, who approached him in the corner of the room.

He looked up to him, then to the direction where she was laid down, and heard the merciful evenly-paced beep of the heart rate monitor.

Relief washed over him. She lived.

He quietly mouthed a thank you to Dr. Greene. When he was left alone yet again, he ruminated at the stormy thoughts that filled his head.

She has suffered enough heartache for a lifetime. And for him to continue to pursue her is to only prolong her trauma and heartache over his actions. For them, there was no recovery.

Today was not a chance to begin again. It was a chance to make it right and finally give up.

It was then that he decided, it was time to let her go.

***

Heather woke up as she was wheeled into the hospital room. The white fluorescent light made her eyes flicker, her vision trying to adjust to the sudden brightness after a long stay in the dark.

A baritone voice boomed into the quiet, jolting her consciousness awake.

"Well, you put up a mighty fight today, Rookie."

Heather couldn't help a snicker, her vision darting around to sought out the speaker.

"I had to, or you'll probably chase me to the afterlife with your scalding commentary, Dr. Ramsey."

She heard him chuckle in response.

"Still snarky, I see," the attending quipped, as he approached the side of her bed and pressed a button on a remote. Slowly, her upper body raised up, as the headboard elevated. She tried to curve her lips into a smile only to feel a tingling pain, making her wince a little.

"Easy there, Dr. Song. You just went to hell and back today." Ethan said, a clipboard tucked between his fingers.

"Funny that you say that," she said. "I still feel like hell though."

Her mentor can only manage a faint smile, an endearing affection coming across his piercing blue eyes. She knew that look. It was the same kind of gaze she saw him give Dolores during her intern year. A subtle look of genuine concern which she attributed to their growing relationship as mentor and protege.

It was just a matter of seconds before that look vanished, replaced by a more formal version.

"It's going to be a couple of days of recovery for you," he explained. "You suffered from severe hyperkalemia, which, with the help of your friend from the DA, we have managed to de-escalate as soon as possible."

Heather couldn't help but blink at what was just mentioned. "I'm sorry, my friend from the DA?"

"Yes, ADA Lahela was able to identify the correct chemical compound within the first half hour after you arrived here," he paused as he checked the flow of her IV. "It aided us to do the proper intervention in the nick of time."

He was right. Anymore than 30 minutes into the system, potassium chloride would have bound to the blood cells and would have caused permanent, if not fatal damage in her system.

She'll have to thank Bryce the first chance she gets. Her memories went back to their last conversation, and she shivered at the unavoidable confrontation that will take place.

Her hands trailed up to her temple, where she felt a bandage. She recalled her fall, thinking it was how she got wounded.

"Ah, yes. We're going to do an MRI for that, just to make sure we're not missing anything else. But apart from that, you'll do alright." He concluded.

"Thanks Dr. Ramsey," her appreciation was sincere.

He nodded. He was about to express something else, when a knock on the door hindered him.

Both of them swiveled at the visitor. Heather swallowed hard as the dark brown eyes looked back at her, the familiar figure standing by the doorway.

"May I come in?" Rafael said with a hint of hesitation as he put a foot forward.

Ethan Ramsey twisted his gaze back to Heather, checking if he would allow the young man in. Although he saw her body tense, she lightly nodded.

"Sure, Agent Aveiro. We're just about finished here." the attending gently patted Heather's hand. "I'll see you in the morning, Rookie."

When Dr. Ramsey departed, Raf made his way towards her, as if in a daze. Heather bit her lower lip and touched the tips of her brunette fringes. The thin tube of the IV tangled in her arm giving her an excuse to avert her eyes away from his for a few seconds.

"Are you doing alright?" Raf asked, taking a seat on the standard-issued metal chair beside her bed.

"Yeah, I'm okay, I've been through worse." she mumbled, almost whispering.

A sharp pang of contrition reverberated within him, unsure of which ordeal she just called as a better alternative than what she just went through. Although his adultery was probably a main contender.

His head bowed low as if navigating through the warring indecision between his heart and mind. While distracted, a soft pitter-patter of rain slid against the glass window. It was as if nature was conspiring against him, yet another heaven-given sign that their end was inevitable.

How can ending a relationship be made easier? There was no path that would prove to be less difficult, except for an admission of the truth. The least hurtful road to traverse is the turn towards an honest confession that what they had has intersected with their own definition of their limits.

Rafael cleared his throat, the noise making Heather face him.

"Heather," he began. "I know I promised to be the person who you can turn to, anytime you needed." His lips quivered, fumbling with the right words to say.

"But I broke that," he simply said, reaching for her hands and lacing it with his. His head dropped so low in between his shoulders that his cheek touched the fabric of her hospital blanket.

Her eyes shone as she slowly took in his words, soaking in the finality of the tone he uttered them with. When she survived her kidnapping tonight, she initially thought she won a battle. But only hours after, they were losing the war.

Rafael's tears soaked through the white sheet, like the rain that drowned the street outside the sullen, sterile hospital room. His muffled groans of defeat echoed through the silence that crawled in between. Although his heart burst in a million shards, deep down he knew it was ultimately for the best.

They couldn't remember how long they stayed still. Eventually, he lifted his head where his gaze fell upon the softness of her features. His thumb gently grazed her cheek, asking for permission. She nodded, an unspoken agreement similar to what she used to give him before.

In a heartbeat, their lips met, savouring the taste of each other, fully aware that this will be the very last time. The kiss was sweet, but tainted bitter by their unspoken farewell. When they pulled apart, there was no question that it was the end of the road for them.

There was nothing left to say.

But before they separated, a set of amber eyes witnessed the ending of their love affair, misinterpreting it as a last ditch effort to salvage the remnants of their irreparable relationship.

The prosecutor fled from the hospital room without so much as a word, unnerved by the scene that put another blow on his own pursuit of love.

Tags: @eleanorbloom @ramsey-lahela @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

***

Author's Notes 2: Although Rafael is still my OTP, what he did in the beginning of this series rendered him and Heather permanently broken. Cheating, no matter the justifications, will always be cheating. And dealing with the consequences of it, especially by the offended party, will be a hard mountain to summit. Raf chose to let Heather go, and for me, that proves that he loves Heather enough, so that he could spare her from further emotional trauma. She has more than enough to deal with now.

#open heart #open heart 2 #rafael aveiro #rafael aveiro x mc #bryce lahela #bryce lahela x mc #open heart fanfiction #choices fanfiction #choices fic writers creations #fics of the week #choices #pixelberry #open heart au #ethan ramsey

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itslordbelsenevstuff · 2 years

Text

So I've been awake for almost twenty four hours, and I can't go to sleep yet, I have a dentist appointment. Last night, at 3 AM I started a new animal, for the life of me I can't remember what it's called and am too lazy to check right now. It had me crying on episode 1, I continued to cry every episode at least once, I'm currently on episode 16. So from 3 AM to roughly 10 AM I had been crying, with a shower break in their somewhere.

#im suprised none of my neighbors in my dorm hall woke me #i was balling #like a child #i went through so many paper towels #becauae of course i run out of kleenexs the day before #still #very good anime #10/10 would recommend #ill find out what it is called later #probably

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surveystodestressme · 7 years

Conversation

1. What were your biggest plans for 2017 when the year began? With the year over half gone now, how have your plans progressed and/or changed? If you could change one thing that has happened so far this year, what would it be and why?

Honestly i didn't really have a plan. I just wanted to keep doing what i was doing, continue life as i was doing it. Life has been going good for the year and it's going the way i like. I wouldn't change anything that has happened this year.

2. Do you believe dreams come true? Why or why not? What’s the most unusual dream you’ve ever had?

if you mean literal dreams that you have when you're sleeping, then i'm not too sure about that. But if you mean something more along the lines of goals, then absolutely. if you put your mind to anything then you can achieve it.

3. Name your top three musical artists of all time (individuals or bands). Why do you love them so much? What song would you pick from each of them that you feel is their best work?

Well, I'll just pick three that i have really loved in the past. I loved hollywood undead for a long time in grade school and high school. i don't know why, my friend's liked them so i just listened to them whenever i was with my friends and ended up liking them. I also really had a thing for One Direction at one point and i think i liked them because they were cute and foreign lol not because they had any real talent. Twenty one pilots was my most recent favorite band. I thought they were new and mysterious, i fucking loved them.

favorite from hollywood undead would be everywhere i go, from one direction it'd be one of their really old songs that i can't think of right now, and from twenty one pilots it'd be car radio

4. When is the last time you pulled an “all nighter” (where you stay awake the entire night to the next day)? What was the reason you did so, and was it worth it?

It's been so long. I used to do it all the time when i had a lock-in at church. I used to be in a youth group and we'd have a lock-in twice a year and i always stayed up the entire night, it was 30 hours long.

5. What is one life experience most people around you seem to have had that you haven’t (marriage, kids, work-related, etc)? Conversely, what is one life experience you’ve had that most people around you haven’t?

there's so much that i haven't experienced. i haven't gotten married or had kids or even had my own place yet.

6. What do you think is the main difference between confidence and arrogance? What exactly makes someone come across as confident in a way that you find appealing? Conversely, what makes you classify someone as arrogant rather than just confident?

well when someone is arrogant they think they're the shit and they're better than everyone else and they hold themselves on a pedestal. having confidence in yourself is having self love and being happy with how you are as a person.

7. What are your favorite news sites? Which sites do you believe present the news with the least bias, and which are the most biased? Do you believe the comments sections of news sites are a good or bad thing?

i don't really look at news online. I mean, if it comes up and i find it interesting then i will read it.

8. If you could take a two-week vacation right now without having to worry about the details of making it work (money, vacation time, etc all taken care of), where would you go? Who would you bring with you, if anyone, and who would you want to make sure you went without?

I would love to go to ireland. it looks so beautiful from all the pictures i've seen. i would definitely take jack

9. Do you give pets or animals silly nicknames? What’s the funniest or most embarrassing nickname you’ve given an animal?

well, i have had several pets in my days. but yeah, i've given them pretty silly names sometimes.

10. How bad does a book have to be for you to stop reading, or do you always plow through no matter what? What are some examples of books you stopped reading, or forced yourself to keep reading until the end? What made these books so horrible?

if it's super boring within the first chapter or two and i cannot bear it then i'll just stop reading. i've had it happen several times.

11. If you could make a playlist of 20 songs that sound like your childhood, which songs would be on it? Why would you choose those particular songs?

hey ya by ????, yeah by usher, ride with me by nelly, country grammer by nelly, follow me by uncle kracker, and pretty much any theme song from any older nickelodean show or disney show

12. Would you rather improve your ability to remember things or to forget things? What event from your past do you wish you could remember more clearly? What’s one thing you really, really wish you could just forget?

definitely improve my ability to remember things because i feel like i forget everything. there's nothing that i wish i could forget but plenty of things i'm sure would be nice if i remembered them

13. What’s a word or phrase you use all the time that no one else seems to? Where did you learn or pick up this word/phrase?

i usually steal all of my phrases from my friends and family

14. What’s your favorite comic strip or online comic? Why do you enjoy it so much? What comic strip from the past do you wish was still around?

i like the walking dead comics (WAY better than the tv show), the scott pilgrim comics, and the kick ass comics.

15. Have you ever been lost? If so, where were you and what were you doing? Did you panic or stay calm? How did you get yourself to safety, or did someone come to your rescue?

i got lost in the woods a while ago. i was looking for a house in the woods that i had previously seen, lol. i wanted to know why someone was living in the woods. i was calm but the friend that i was with freaked the fuck out and kind of worried me a bit. i called my mother and she tried to find me and it didn't work so she had to call the police and they had to come into the woods to find me. i was 3 miles or so from where i entered the woods lol

16. Have you ever done something really unbelievable, only to have no one around to see it? What was it?

i'm sure i've done something, lol. i'm a pretty unbelievable person but i don't know right now

17. Name something you consider to be completely unforgivable, no matter what the circumstances. Why is it so egregious to you? What should happen to someone who does it?

rape. they should be put away for the rest of their life

18. If you were exiled, what country would you choose as your new home?

ireland!

19. What’s the last time that you were really happy? What were you doing? Who were you with? What made that time so special?

well i mean, i'm really happy right now. i'm watching some youtube videos and obviously doing surveys. i'm by myself and nothing is special about it right now

#survey #surveys #questions #bored

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