#i'm sure someone's done smth similar before but i just have a lot feelings about dad/grandpa eliot :(

[sapphic-agent]

Really not sure what could be added here. But ok will try.

I kind hate when people say "Shig is the protagonist" bc...he really isnt. I would argue he is not really a character anymore. But a plot device.

Bk is the real mc in Hori's eyes.

But I want to talk about smth: ofa transfering vs afo tranfering.

(It may be dumb but is not dumber than canon)

Not sure if is true thanks to the pacing of the story, but assuming Shig was in the tank for 10 months to get a quirk he...frankly never needed. (What was the selling point here? "Shig going get more power" as if decay wasnt enough) while Izu trained for 10 months.

Shig was in a tube like a dead fish for 10 months.

Izu exercise himself for 10 months to be able to use the quirk.

How afo was transfer to Shig? Via soul?

Afo was shared by 8 people (before Izu enters) and had no real "parasite" effect. But afo does bc...????

We know nothing about afo the quirk or the person.

We know nothing about ofa the quirk and the person.

When afo wanted to steal Shig's body? Bc look I may be wrong but ...since the movies are canon, many others villains, had a small afo quirk and didnt endure "will steal your body" why Shig?

(Bc otherwise how Izu would saved him)

Not sure if I'm making sense. Its just those 2 quirks are so different and so similar...but at the same time we know nothing about it.

Also the inage I shared has the "completation in 70%" so...is afo being injected into his body? In his veins? FOR 10 MONTHS?

Again what was the selling point here? Yes, it does feel like Shig cheat (well he got his comeuppance here) but sorry nothing of this makes sense.

I guess I just want to vent a little bc those quirks are so central to the plot but at the same time we know nothing about. We know shit about yoichi and afo. It's all made up on the spot.

Thanks for the patience (I do like the contrast, in theory. Izu worked hard to gain his quirk as a good hero. Shig as a villain cheated but its Hori so...is all about bk)

Indeed, this whole thing was all over the place.

My assumption was that Garaki wasn't merely transferring AFO into Shigaraki's body, he was also physically and genetically modifying his body to be able to handle not only AFO (the quirk), but also host AFO (the potato). You're right to question how he's transferring the potato, however, because that really isn't explained. I assume that it's the ability of one of the potato's quirks, maybe a combination of a few, that allow them to do this. Or maybe it's because AFO is so connected and attached to his quirk (he's had it for like 200 years) that him and his quirk are one in the same at this point.

(The dreamscape thing is odd. Izuku only has access to it because it's part of his quirk. The potato having access to it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Unless he counts as a pass holder since it was his stockpiling quirk that was given to Yoichi and helped form OFA, but then whoever he stole it from would have been there too. Maybe this is the only way he can access the quirk since it's so unique? But that shouldn't be possible since OFA can't be stolen. And why was he only able to access it when he was inhabiting Shigaraki?)

I do think that the difference between OFA and AFO is that OFA at its course is the ability to be bestowed and inherited. Both the predecessor and successor are given a choice (presumably, if the user's DNA can't pass it down without their intention, then I reckon it can't be inherited unless the inheritor wants to inherit it). The potato can take any quirk form anyone and force it onto someone else. I think that's why it's more parasitic, a lack of consent.

I completely agree that Shigaraki didn't need AFO. He had just come into his own power and took control of an extremist organization with a ton of powerful quirk users at his disposal. Him wanting AFO when he had just done all that was counterintuitive.

I loved what him (and the entire LOV) were doing in Deika. They made season 5 for me (because the Endeavor Agency arc was shit), but you're right that he's just a plot device now. AFO taking him in and raising him to be independent as his own villain with his own allies was completely undermined by him trying to hijack Shigaraki's body

#mha critical #bnha critical #shigaraki deserves better #shigaraki critical #ask

[zoeykallus]

hi again!

I just read the both 'stories' you mentioned.

They are both really good. You are very talented in writing!

Well, I guess it would be really interesting to have a story like that with hunter or echo.

(I think cross would also be a interesting one for this although I'm not sure if he would be so understanding if you know what I mean haha.)

Oh, I also wanted to mention that I'm very grateful that are people out there who write hurt/comfort about topics like that. I actually think there are a lot of people who need stuff like that as a coping thing or smth.

So thank you very much for giving me (and others) comfort in your stories!

First of all: Thank you so much! I'm very happy to hear this! It's uplifiting to know that there are poeple who enjoy my writing and the cherry on top is for me to hear that some of what I wrote, actually helped them feel better!

Now Sometimes I do like a Challenge and I think a similar scenario with Crosshair, probably is a challenge. Hope you don't mind I picked him :)

Crosshair x GN reader Hurt/Comfort

Warning: Hurt/Tension/Angst under the cut! (But Comfort too ;) )

Be Your Own Best Friend

You felt rushed and breathless, yet you hadn't done anything physically strenuous. Actually, tonight should have been a nice evening, in a small circle with a few close friends in a bar. But so much had gone wrong in the last few days. Financially, family-wise some things were hanging crooked, very crooked. You knew that stress could be felt physically, but still you were surprised how violently your body reacted to it by now.

While your colleagues were laughing happily and having a few drinks, the room suddenly started spinning, and you hadn't had any alcohol yet. Startled, you excused yourself and went to the toilets, but then you saw the back exit and stepped out into the open. A side alley, dark and relatively quiet for such a busy area.

You thought a few breaths of fresh air might help. It did, at least you weren't dizzy anymore, but it didn't make you feel any better. After a while, you wanted to go back inside, but to your annoyance, you found that the door wouldn't open from the outside.

"Great," you murmured irritated and wanted to turn around to go back to the front entrance, but you remained rooted to the spot.

A strange man suddenly stood in the half-darkness of the side alley quite close to you.

___________

Crosshair was leaning against a house wall in the same alley you were in. He had bought special ammunition at a backyard dealer, that he was still standing here when you came out of the back entrance of the bar, was rather a coincidence. Actually he had nothing more to do here, but something had moved him to watch you.

The way you staggered out of the door, at first he thought you were drunk and might have hit the wrong door. But he watched you a little more closely. Your chest was rising and falling violently and heavily, you were leaning against the wall, your knees seemed to be shaking. He had seen something like that before, it looked more like a panic attack than drunkenness.

Nothing that concerned him and he told himself he didn't care, but silently he wondered what would put someone like you in such a situation.

Then another person appeared, behind you, when you were distracted. He frowned. This person's movements made him bright-eyed; he was good at evaluating people, sometimes just by their posture or movement, and he knew that one was a predator.

None of my business, he thought. It's not my problem.

Crosshair saw you turn around and freeze in your movement, terrified. That look on your face, terror, fear, uncertainty, he chose to ignore it, he wasn't responsible for you.

The stranger took another step toward you.

Crosshair growled, "Oh for crying out loud," and approached the scene.

What are you doing here all alone, in a back alley in the middle of the night?"

The voice sounded insincere, feigned friendliness, and all the alarm sirens inside you rang. You stood rooted to the spot, your voice stuck in your throat. That's all you needed on top of everything else.

Before you could even say anything, however, another voice rose from the darkness of the back alley.

"Get lost, leave them alone".

The voice sounded raspy, somber.

The man standing right in front of you turned around, trying to make out something. Slowly, another figure stepped into the sparse light of the back exit's exterior illumination. A man, human, tall, 6.4 you estimated. He was chewing on a toothpick, a crosshair tattooed around his right eye. He wore full gear you couldn't place, black and red, on his shoulder a skull and the number 99. On his back was a sniper rifle, in his right hand he deftly spun a vibro knife, so nimble and skilled that you stared at his fingers for a long moment, fascinated.

You didn't know who he was or why he wanted to help you, or whether he just wanted to get rid of the guy because he had it in for you himself. At the moment you just stood there, feeling helpless.

The stranger who was so close to you didn't seem to want to mess with the sniper, after a short hesitation, he pulled back and you were still standing there, rooted to the spot.

Silence reigned for quite a while, then the Sniper asked, almost in disgust, "Are you okay?"

You felt tears running down your cheeks, you hadn't noticed it before. This tense situation had been just the tip of the iceberg of your week, apparently just too much for you. You felt yourself shaking and slowly lowered yourself to the floor.

"No," you answered so quietly that he almost didn't hear.

He sighed softly, squatted down in front of you with some courtesy distance and asked, "Why?"

You shrugged.

"Been a rough week," you replied, vaguely.

"Hmm" he growled "I can't say much about that, honestly I don't care much either, just intervened because I don't like scum like that. You shouldn't be standing out here alone"

You blinked, wiped away a few tears and sniffed your nose.

"Thanks for your help" you said looking him in the eye for a moment, but couldn't withstand his serious look for long and dodged it again.

"It's okay," he grumbled, getting up and about to leave, but stopped again after a few steps.

He sighed annoyed, of what you didn't really know, but the Sniper turned back to you and said. "Come on, I'll take you home, you can't sit here, the guy will be back as soon as I leave".

You stood up and said, "Maybe I should tell my friends".

"You've been out here for over an hour, no one's come looking for you yet, you really think that matters?" he growled.

You swallowed, feeling a twinge. He was right, there was no missed call or text message on your com either.

"I guess it's enough if I text them when I get home," you said very quietly.

He felt bad about reminding you of your thoughtless friends.

"What's your name?", he asked to change the subject.

The question was not unusual, yet you were surprised.

"Y/N, and yours?"

"Crosshair."

You smiled and said, "A very appropriate name I think."

"You have no idea how approriate" he said smoothly.

"How much?" you probed.

He scratched the back of his head and asked, "Do you want to see it before I take you home? If you live toward the center of town, though, we'd have to take a detour."

You thought for a moment, having no idea if you should trust him, but on impulse you said "No problem" as if some part of you suspected that you needed his company and maybe he needed yours.

Crosshair led you to a field outside of town and set up a few bottles, even letting you throw some of them and hit them in mid-flight. You were intrigued and excited, setting him other challenges, smaller targets, longer distance, or throwing several bottles at once.

He hit every time, without exception. For sure the best sniper you've ever seen.

"Okay," you said with a wide, impressed smile, "you really earned that name".

A small smirk showed on his narrow, serious mouth.

Your gaze wandered upward and you saw a clear starry sky.

"It's beautiful here"

"Mmhm," he hummed in agreement.

"In the city you can't see the stars at all".

Crosshair said quietly, "Too much artificial light".

You sighed and looked towards the city. You didn't feel like going back at all.

As if he read your mind he said, "We don't have to go back yet if you don't want to. I don't have anything else to do today, so, I could spare some more time".

The smile you showed him made him feel strangely warm.

"That's very kind of you, thank you. I'd really like to stay a little longer."

He beckoned you over to him, on a huge bale of stork that stood in the middle of the field. He reached out a hand and helped you up and sat down next to you. You could hear crickets, a whole army of them somewhere out in the field. Not too far, a river was babbling along. It was so peaceful here.

"Where do all these bottles come from anyway?" you asked curiously.

" I come here more often, I collect the bottles for practice, we just used up about half a month's supply," he chuckled.

"Oh, sorry."

Crosshair waved it off.

"Never mind"

After a while of silence you heard him ask, "Why did you have a panic attack earlier at the bar?"

Startled, you blinked, not quite knowing what to say.

"Well, a rough week, like I said. I'm drained, and as you've noticed, I'm not exactly being taken care of."

You shrugged your shoulders and said, "I'm tired".

"Do you want to go home?"

"No, I meant a different kind of tired" you quietly returned.

He raised his eyebrows, "Oh, I see."

He sighed then he said almost softly, "Sometimes you need to be your own best friend and just take care of yourself, do something good for yourself, anything, it doesn't even have to cost money, it can just be something like.... well, a moment like this, peace, the starry sky above you, fresh air in your lungs.... good company. Life throws shit at you again and again, that's why it's important to take care of yourself. Treat yourself good, you are worth it"

You smiled and leaned back into a lying position, so you had a wonderful view of the stars. Crosshair did the same and when you reached for his hand on impulse, you were surprised when he gently intertwined his fingers with yours. He didn't say a word about the touch or the fact that you were holding hands under the stars.

"Right now," you said dreamily, "things don't look so bad anymore."

"Good", he said quietly and gently squeezed your hand "I like that attitude much better".

@chxpsi

@andyoufollowyourheart

@nunanuggets

@the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond

@clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi

#crosshair x reader #star wars #the bad batch #clonelove #clone force 99 #tbb #sw tbb #bad batch crosshair #clone trooper crosshair #commander crosshair #crosshair #crosshair bad batch #crosshair tbb #crosshair the bad batch #crosshair x you #tbb crosshair #tbb crosshair x reader #the bad batch crosshair #crosshair comfort #ct 9904 #hurt/comfort #crosshair x y/n #tbb crosshair x you #crosshair x gn reader #the bad batch fanfic #star wars the bad batch #star wars: the bad batch #the bad batch fanfiction #the bad batch x reader #oneshot

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

the anon who doesnt have aspd and taught myself empathy again here! i've never talked to a psych (self diagnosed autism) and as a teen i was p sure i had aspd (i Knew shit was strange w me and really wanted an explanation and once i figured out my mix of trauma and autism things made sense) coz lack of remorse and shit but i never actually really matched the rest of it -- i dont have substance abuse issues and never have, im p easily entertained, i've had the same three friends basically my entire life. i do though describe myself as the worlds most boring hedonist coz like yeah i sometimes have a hard time controlling my impulses and im motivated by fun but for me thats usually p simple -- easily entertained. read a book, video games, jump around to music. i AM frequently bored though?? like its my most frequent emotion and ive spent a Long time learning to cultivate my joy and really feel it properly. but im also the most easily excitable person i know. i dunno, i have v large emotions that appear then disappear quite quickly. a favourire hobby of mine since i was a kid has been to start arguments between the ppl i care abt and see how large i could make them in a single session then solve the argument w/o the ppl realising i'd manufactured and egged on the argument. which typing that out now seems uh. an interesting hobby. but late last year i told my younger brother and he laughed coz its a v me thing to do and was like "yo thats fucked. pls stop doing it to me" so since then ive mainly tried to just like playfully tease ppl in a normal way coz cognitively i understand its a fucked thing to do and im trynna be like, a decent person who doesnt go outta my way to play w ppl for funsies. which yeah that uh... maybe i Should look into aspd more again, i did a fairly shallow look into it as a teen and relating to azula as much as i did as a kid (and izaya as an older teen/young adult) was deff a sign of smth

i've followed you on this blog for a while (i think you'd only had it for a couple weeks when i first followed u?) so yeah i did know the story abt u and ur fiance! v cute

i feel like maybe we need a different identifier than "the anon who doesnt have aspd" because that might not be, uh. accurate! i have o clue why a lot of people with aspd seem to congregate around my account but i guess this is an aspd helpline now??????? whuh????

like im not complaining its just. how did i get here

also i think ive deadass used the "worlds most boring hedonist" descriptor for myself before and i deal w chronic boredom the same way you do- i have a LOT of hobbies and i plan elaborate projects and that entertains me but only temporarily

and thats the thing about aspd! it- like every other disorder- is a spectrum. you might not have substance abuse issues, and i do. you did.... your interesting hobby, and i find it morally fucked!* i have no idea your relationship with criminality, and i got fired for stealing

*i have done something similar but i have a moral policy of like, only fucking with people who Deserve It. who deserves what varies case by case and what exactly i do... i need to explain weird spiritual stuff to go in depth andyeah im not really itchin to be called crazy on tumblr dot cum

aspd in general is very misunderstood and no literature really focuses on what its like to have the disorder, only the perceived damage being around someone with the disorder will bring- which is why i initially self diagnosed thru tumblr posts from ppl talking about their symptoms in a serious educative way

sometimes i think like, maybe i don't have aspd, maybe i'm just autistic and i'm spreading misinformation- but i never really felt "at home" with other autistic people. its like- yeah i click better with other autistic people, but i'm still masking, i'm still faking, and even in this situation i can drop the mask partially but not fully. growing up with a personality disorder and trauma in communities largely filled with autistic people with trauma, very quickly teaches you that there's something different about you. it's an isolating, traumatizing feeling- my experience with this was mainly symptoms of npd, but like.... knowing you have a problem, wanting it fixed, and knowing nobody around you knows how deep the problem runs, and might even find its existence laughable or dangerous... it's isolating! and its shitty!!

generally i tend to Know if things i'm doing are bad or not, i just tend to not care in the moment, because it's better than being bored! entertainment wins out over everything. it's actually kind of terrible; i'll do stuff just to see a reaction out of people- it's like izaya, honestly, what happens when people are pushed to their breaking points?

thats kind of how i got so much into angst and psychological horror. not only did i want to break the characters, i wanted to break my audience. i'd tell my friends detailed stories about torture partly because i was interested in my story, mostly because i wanted to see their horrified reactions. i wanted to see how far was "too far," and i keep that stuff in my current narratives- i keep the pov extremely tight and do silly little tricks with narrative and formatting to make the audience feel like they're Really There

so yeah look into aspd. do it boy listen to me im the ps5 im speaking to you inside your brain. do it boy do it

#wasks #srry if ur not a guy it meme :(

[magiciansource]

the magicians → 2x05 || 3x05 || 3x12

#themagiciansedit #magiciansedit #eliot waugh #the magicians #queliot #(kinda. im counting it) #member: james #*magiciansource #t: gifset #ch: eliot waugh #ch: teddy coldwater waugh #ch: quentin coldwater #ch: fray #i'm sure someone's done smth similar before but i just have a lot feelings about dad/grandpa eliot :( #also i refuse to believe q says 'my' grandkids. thats clearly a 'the'

[june-again]

Well I'm still really new to Tumblr so not sure how to properly tag things so they'll get seen and I'm always worried about using the wrong tags.

PLS IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT. Most of that piece actually stemmed from the "Even his flaws make him perfect" line. As well my own feelings of like how I felt it would feel like to be dating Oikawa which for me personally would come with a lot of feelings of being insecure (did that make sense??)

Best part about that is it was like one am when I wrote that so I'm shocked it turned out so well-

It kinda bothers me the way it is since I reblog so much it's hard to see my actual works so I think I'll sort that out this weekend because yikes. Also I've never done this before so it should be fun.

ILYT BRO >:C

-dream anon

jwjjfkdsl that makes sense yeah!! i was very confused abt how they work as well but there are a few things i wish i knew at first:

- you're allowed to spam the tags as long as it's relevent. for example, you can put #haikyuu x reader, #haikyuu x you, and #haikyuu x y/n and they will all help. with characters you have even more options: sugawara x reader, hq suga x you, haikyuu sugawara x reader, sugawara fluff, etc. - a lot of people already know this but plsss plss don't put irrelevent tags in there. if it's straight fluff then don't put #oikawa angst and the other way around. and don't tag things with smut. just don't. unless it is smut - in that case, only tag it with smut. - reblogging with main tags does absolutely nothing. the only thing it does for the post has to do with the fact that it was reblogged in the first place, but tags in reblogs do not make it appear in search more. the most helpful thing to do when you're reblogging is leave comments about the piece or use your own tags if you have a tag reblogging system (for me, i use [🌙] recs so that all my comfort fics can be easily found on my blog by clicking on that tag.

oops i sorta rambled for a bit. but yeah i'm sure you knew most of that .... that last one drives me insane because no one seems to realize there isn't any point in reblogging something and adding "#haikyuu x reader" or "#sugawara fluff"

i love how you obviously pulled from your own feelings while you were writing that instead of trying to make it up so that it just sounded good. i love that sincerity in fiction. that completely makes sense :( oikawa is too much for this world and i would definitely also get insecure fjxksfdkksjd keep in mind that when you express your own feelings in writing it's actually a fantastic way to connect to readers - because no matter what you might be feeling, there's a good chance someone else in the world has felt similar :o

sfesdwesfd yes writing at 1am >> idk brains just work the best creatively then or smth 😍

sdfkjjweofs ookay good luck! if u need tips you can totally ask me or a lot of other bloggers will also be willing to help ya >:)

ps: i hope none of this came across wrong my brain is not working i just woke up

#elk's asks #anon:dream

[crystu-cii]

I agree, English is always ew XDD Hence why I'm speedrunning it by taking my fourth english next semester so I can get it over with- would've done math but I'm on my last year if math since I've already speedrun math XD

I personally find my binder(from gc2b btw) extremely comfortable! They've got measurements on their site, and you can contact support and tell them your measurements if you need help deciding what size to get (from experience they're very helpful!! I had to contact support bc my shoulder and chest sizes were five sizes apart XD) if you think you'd be more comfortable with a binder, trans or not, I say go for it- the one I got was $35, it was one of the nude tank binders, very comfy- also feel free to snatch my Def Not Trans™ reasons if they'd work for you XD

It's kinda bizarre tbh but like people also think gender dysphoria is a Necessity to be trans sooo idk I think a lot of humans are just stupid tbh XD

:0 thank you!!!💕💕 I actually came up with it(and by that I mean found it on a baby names website and saw it means star lover-- XD) before Henry and then I got back into thsc and started liking Henry's name and was like 👀 YES I love the nickname Astro-- :o dög-- tbh I love any nicknames that have stuff to do with stars so long as they don't sound to feminine- I mean I like feminine things but being called a feminine name makes me :/ a nickname someone gave me is literally just "Stars" XD (based off my usual username Shooting-Stars :>)

Yesss it sO difficult-- I tend to just not tell anyone to avoid the anxiety of it tbh- XD I feel that oms-- w h eeze we are so similar XD

WHAT A M O OD-- I have officially decided that the sole set-in-stone thing about me is that I'm an artist XDD

OFC CRYS 💕💕💞💖💞💕 also feel free to switch between them!! :3c and if you come up with any nicknames too XD

ohh mann lucky :Ooo im not sure how the finishing subjects early thingy works in schools cause like- i just want to be a nOrMaL student- xDDD so im just sticking with the majority of people

and OHHHH I heard of that website! once i told my friend(TREE!) that i wanted to get a binder- they sent me a post thread from insta of the safest binders to get, and it mentioned buying it from gc2b! but i still had the issue of my mom most likely going to be like "nO WhY dOnT yOu LikE yoUr chESt tHe WaY iT iS" and i just assume its going to take forever to convince her that i want a binder-

then tree- all of a sudden was like- "bro- i can get you a binder from gc2b" and i was like "BRO??? 😳😳😭❤💞" but at the same time- i was like "so how am i gonna make my mom not notice" and we had a little debate over it xD they didnt get me the binder- not that i fully expected it- but i might actually ask them to buy it from the website and then ill trade em money (this is, what the filipino trio[me, larie, and tree] likes to call it, having a drug dealer XDDD) but im super glad to hear its comfortable! that actually makes me a lot more confident into wanting one!

and OH MY GODD looking at baby names for name ideas iS LEGIT MEEE LIKE- even for my OCs i tend to search up name ideas and then the first thing it shows is "HEY- HERES A LIST OF BABY NAMES CAUSE WE ASSUME YOURE HAVING A BABY--" XDDD and ohhh i understand about you not liking feminine names! and omg stars sounds like a really cute nickname too! xD

man holy crap- i swear we are like twins or smth i cant believe we have so much things in common i love it xDD 😳😭❤💞💞

#the rambles of crystu #“im just like youuuu youre just like meeee its something anyone can seeee“ #XDDD

[survivorreelsmagicwithin]

Episode 5- “Good thing I bought a box of wine the other day.. I'm gonna need it.”-Jess

After Gryffindors tribal Raffy was voted out. This is either just bad news for Raffy specifically or for the Gryffindor tribe. I don't know how much what he's said and done as his tribe speaks to him, but I'm going to be stepping up my social game now to try and avoid a similar fate. https://am24.mediaite.com/tms/cnt/uploads/2015/07/Harry-Potter-Disgusted-Gif.gif 

 We are playing Mastermind this round and... I dunno what a good score is on this game ever. I always think I did well at it and then people blow me out of the water. I hope I did well enough that we avoid another tribal, but I have my own personal doubts. I explored the castle today. I went behind some barrels. I guess since I'm technically sorted into Gryffindor that I didn't know what the barrels are - I went behind them and found the Hufflepuff common room where I talked to Professor Sprout's flowers... They told me that Hagrid has a new dog. Either Hagrid is in the Forbidden Forest or these flowers are liars. I've been to Hagrid's Hut and interacted with each thing he owns. I saw no dog. https://dontyoushushme.files.wordpress.com/2015/11/tumblr_lp98471uss1qa8ir9o1_r1_500.gif

Mastermind is one of my very favorite comps so if someone causes us to go to tribal during this challenge I'm going to be VERY upset!! 

37 minutes later

If these people really think I'm going to rocks they have lost their minds. 

So I flopped the challenge and will probably have my name thrown out as an option so... PARTY! However, I decided to play the "omg I fucked up feel bad for me" card so maybe that'll either make people feel bad for me...or they'll make me a target. I kind of want people to feel bad for me? but also like I think people know I'm going through a rough time right now so if they vote me out they are going to hell xoxoxox But I'm gonna try and put in the werk to make sure I DON'T GET VOTES.. How may you ask? I think the key is Owen? I know Owen is a VERY social player and on a tribe like this I think having great social skills really can propel you into the top ranks. So I've decided to give Owen some "spell guesses" to help build some sort of trust moving forward.... will this help? probably not.... BUT right now.........the only kind of currency I have in this game is information (which I have none of because.. well new tribe...) and my guesses. Hopefully he feeds into my bullshit and sees that I do actually want to work with him (for now). So the goal is simple, I want people to think I'm NOT DISPOSABLE. People in games are selfish, they want to know what you CAN DO FOR THEM and I plan on doing just that. I also fucked around and shared guesses with Juls. She gave me a clue and I for the LOVE OF ME CAN NOT FIND THIS CRITTER. I thought it was that stupid Harry Potter spider but he told me to fuck off.. idk I'M SO STRESSED. Good thing I bought a box of wine the other day.. I'm gonna need it.

3 minutes later

PS: Landen is either playing too hard too fast or... he has my back? IDK. He's basically naming me as 1 of 4 people he doesn't want to go.. and we... we've spoken like twice. No game talk, nothing. We talked about MILK. How the fuck does he want me safe and not to go? IDK it seems fishy but I'll take it. Maybe he's just promising everyone safety right now and that's his game? I literally don't care. I will take whatever I get at this point. I want Max out. I've decided he really annoys me and I can't work with someone who thinks "penis" is a funny joke. I have nothing in common with him and... from the sounds of it something was "off" with him on his old tribe so... maybe just maybe..  that's something I can WORK WITH. Fucking weebz.

Oh my god, thank god we won! I do not want to have to deal with another tribal. For a unanimous vote, our tribal sure was messy. I think my position so far in this game is super solid, I'm in a great position with Nick and Kevin because we talk a lot and I have formed really strong relationships with both of them. My postion with Dan is honestly fantastic, I know he trusts me because he told me about his advantage in the game (a vote steal). Jules and I are good, we honestly just like each other and she was the first person to tell me that Miguel was throwing my name around. She also knows about Dan's advantage. I'm a little worried about her though because each tribal we have gone to she has gotten a vote, plus she started drama with Raffy before she left. I still think she is super sweet, but I'm worried that her confrontational personality is going to get her voted out and I'm not sure that there is much I can do about it. 

I'm going to mess around and get voted out, I have such a big mouth, y'all.  SO FAR TODAY, I have told Chips I didn't hear his name... then fifteen minutes later I DID hear his name.  Next I told Jess I heard Chips's name thinking she came up with it and she said it was news to her LSJFLDSJF.  Then I told Juls that I didn't hear anything... to which her and Jess are probably comparing notes.  I showed Lily all the places I've looked for the idol and last but not least I TOLD OWEN ABOUT THE OG HUFFLEPUFF ALLIANCE.  I AM GOING TO GET VOTED OUT, WHY DO I HAVE SUCH A BIG MOUTH????? SOMEONE HELP ME. 

hufflepuffle LOST immunity! that is so not the marshmallow move i was trying to make :/ over the course of the game, i've really bonded with lily, so i think that is going to be my close alliance here, obviously aside from juls, who i knew pre-game and we are just good friends. i do think juls would backstab me if she had to, so i'll keep my eye out for her, even tho id most likely die for her. *bleeds out* well when we got to this lil ol tribe, max made the bold move to instantly create a hufflepuffle group chat and declare how we are #HUFFSTRONG. i made the stupid decision to not trust my gut instinct on ruthie's distant responses, and now i am paying the price for that, because as far as i've heard ruthie is telling people hufflepuff is tight and is trying to blindside max, leaving me in the dark. i'm honestly less upset at the target on max, and more upset that she is trying to leave me (and pooossibly lily? cant be sure.) in the dark. I'm a little bit annoyed with it. like, we openly discussed voting about max on the original hufflepuff. i get that circumstances change, but there's no reason to leave me blind. i understand it from owen, jess, chips, but... why from ruthie lol? we've talked about it before and it's just like. bleh. that's my bad, for not talking to ruthie more on a personal level before and after the swap. i can be slow to make official alliances and cement my bonds in survivor, it's a strategy that's risky in the short term but pays off dividends in the long term when people really like AND trust you. that emotion is somethin necessary! it works its own kind of ~Magic~ so to speak. but right now it's definitely showing its weaknesses with ruthie trying to play me and my quietness with chips/owen/jess biting me in the butt a bit because they don't trust me. T_T i will have to work to prove i am a trustworthy ally for them, but in the meantime, as long as i can survive this vote (lol that means i am going home) then i'm fine and it's whatever. i want to try to think of a better wham line to close out this confessional, but i can't, so it's just going to kind of wither off and die here, as this sentence stumbles along on its meager way to find SOME version of sufficient punctuation to the topic, punctuated by actual punctuation.

this vote is gonna be.. como se dice.. interesting. working with max and landen while now being added to an alliance with owen, jess and chips um. smiles. it’s gonna be smth! but it seems like max is the target for this round which sucks but, i’d rather go with majority and help push that than make myself a target for wanting go against the odds.. idk if that made sense LMAO. but i’m just stressed! i love max so much but.. i wanna keep the people who weren’t on the og hufflepuff tribe close as opposed to letting them go so easily. 

THE WAY I HAD ONE OF THE LOWEST SCORES IN MASTERMIND https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_Maspo1z34

Well here we are forced to actually play the game. And well.......this vote is crazy. I should have honestly anticipated this craziness but the craziness has been thrust upon us. Sincerely really enjoy everyone on this tribe. This meant that whatever decision I made on who to vote out would be strictly strategic. I know I can't vote out anyone from original hufflepuff because that inherently puts all of the original hufflepuff in danger of being easy targets in any future votes. I can't even in my brain consider voting out one of them at this vote because of this. I feel great about my social game rn. Several people are interested in working with me to my face and apparently in passing to others. This means that I'm unlikely to be a target for a vote but this could honestly all change after this. I feel the most trust and loyalty to Ruthie and Landen and I also feel like Max really has my back even though we haven't explicitly said this to each other. I also feel good about Jess. She told me today that she doesn't care too much as long as it isn't me or her and that semed honest to me? This leaves Juls, Owen, and Chips. Juls seems wishy-washy but I can tell she wants to vote Max but is nervous to say that to me. She is a newer player so this makes sense. I can tell that Landen doesn't want to vote Juls but no one really does so she doesn't make sense as the target. Chips has always been a good ally to me in the past but the past few games we have played together we have trouble being honest on what we want to happen.I want to work with Chips and don't want to see him go on this vote. I don't think he is as big of a threat at this stage of the game as Owen. Owen is one of the smartest people I've played with he has one of the best social games I've seen. He has a way of getting people on his side. I know he is thinking about a lot and knows that Max going right now is what is best for him. I want to trust owen and work with owen but my gut says that isn't what is going to work this time. Ruthie told us (Landen and I) about how they made a final 2 before the game even started (before we were told not to talk in the Great Hall chat in PMs) and now she is clearly backing out of that. Right now OG huffs are planning to vote Owen out. I think this is the best strategic play for us but will anyone else see it? Or will people be hyper focused on voting an OG huff that they would prefer to go to a rock draw than vote Owen. I'm not sure and I don't think I'm mentally prepared for what is about to go down. I'm hoping Jess, Chips, or Juls would be willing. But I'm also nervous not telling any of them about the vote could be the actual mistake we are making. Should I put my trust in Jess or Chips and see if they would vote Owen? I DON'T KNOW. Do I sound like I know what I'm doing??? NO. Am I attemping to make money moves??? YES. Is it the right decision????? PROBABLY NOT. But....we shall see. We shall see. 

Kind of happy we lost because this will be an interesting one for sure... As I said before, we have 4 hufflepuff and 4 non-hufflepuff on our tribe, and I wanted to jump on that IMMEDIATELY, so the second I heard Hufflepuff had a group chat (thanks ruthie hehe) I made one with Chips, Juls, and Jess. Jess and Juls are my gorls in this game, and I'm glad I finally get to make stuff happen with them. I want Ruthie to trust me (she messaged me for a final 2 literally night one before we found out we couldnt pm each other in the great hall), and I do really love her - but since we're on different "sides" of the tribe, I wanted to play smart. I originally threw out both Chips AND Max names, to make it seem like old tribal lines mean nothing to me, but then today I've been telling Ruthie and Landen I'm leaning way more towards Max beacuse he hasnt talked to me and Chips has, which is true. Ruthie seems to agree that Max should go - she told me he did some qweird stuff like pranks and things on their old tribe, and Landen said that Max would've been first boot. So it seems easy enough?? But then.... here comes Lily, with her own brain and stuff. Why can't people stop having opinions and just do what  I say??? I can tell Lily wants to keep Max, which makes sense. She probably wants to keep the Hufflepuff security in numbers. But I'm not writing Chips down, period, and they all know it. No matter what happens, as long as it is Max or Chips I'm fine. I'm just using this vote to have as many conversations with Lily, Ruthie, Landen, Jess, and Juls about game as possible to further myself, and I don't much care who leaves as long as it isn't me Jess or Juls. But I do think for the hell of it I'd go to rocks if I had to - bc if they're going to ROCKS for Max?? I sure as hell don't want to be outnumbered. Hopefully ruthie is being honest in wanting max gone and can change lily's mind.

https://youtu.be/TBrNjh2DnU4

SO my big mouth strikes again.   Landen came to me earlier and OWEN SPILLED ABOUT ME SPILLING ABOUT THE HUFFLEPUFF ALLIANCE.  I WAS SO MAD.  Mad enough to agree to voting him out and now I just feel guilty.  Jess, Juls, Owen and Chips don't know that there is going to be a tie tonight after all.  We feel like if we vote Owen that we can get Chips to vote with us in the revote and I hope that is the case because I REALLY don't want to go to rocks. Part of me thinks I should call Owen out on him spilling the alliance secret to him and try to fix things but I'm still very salty about it. I'm so sad and I feel so guilty but...  HE COMPLETELY MESSED MY GAME UP AND I TRUSTED HIM! 

So it has been a day. That's for sure. Got in my first alliance of people who didnt start Hufflepuff. Found out from two out of three Hufflepuffs my name was thrown out. May be leaving or at the very least the subject of a tie vote. If the target Max has an idol I leave guaranteed. I hope not. 

I am a horrible person. My heart is pounding so hard, this move is either going to make or break my game. :(

I would like to publicly thank Hufflepuff for extending my life in the game by another round- much obliged. Not sure how much of a difference it’ll make in the end lmao but nonetheless I’m still technically alive. Either this is the quietest game I’ve ever been apart of or everyone is definitely working together and I’m on the bottom. I know Kevin isn’t in on it but that Raffy vote was suspicious and you can’t tell me otherwise. Because how am I talking to everyone all day long but I don’t find out the vote is Raffy until 2 hours before the vote and that’s “what everyone is doing”? Not to mention it came from Jules, not Dan or Nicholas aka the people I thought I had a halfway decent relationship with. So the only way you can explain how I’m the last to know even though they were several opportunities for like 5 different people to tell me is that those 5 are working together. So basically I’m praying Hufflepuff can take one more L after tonight because if not, there’s a high chance I’m gonna have to beg for my life. And I’m not above it! But I also can do the math and I don’t know if Slytherin is smart enough to realize they’re handing the game over to Ravenclaw. Who knows though- maybe Jess or Juls will go home on the other side and that will strengthen my plea of attack Ravenclaw while we still can. Cause there’s 9 Huffleclaw left and 6 of Slytherdor so I’m like... we can’t all be the cute swing vote at merge that gets picked up to be a number but hey what do I know