#i'm a motherfucking english teacher

[post-grammatic-stress]

every day i am bullied by wordlebot

#wordle #wordlebot #quit telling me I'm extraordinarily LUCKY you piece of shit bot #i'm a motherfucking english teacher

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

READ 70 PAGES OF THE GOOD OMENS BOOK WITH WHICH I HAVE HOMOEROTIC TENSION AS WE KNOW

WE ALL KNOW ABOUT THE HOMOEROTIC RIVALRY BETWEEN ME AND MY COPY OF THE GOOD OMENS BOOK. WE KNOW. IT STARES AT ME, I STARE BACK, IT DARES ME TO READ IT AND FALL IN LOVE WITH CROWLEY MORE, I REFUSE. WE PUT THE UST IN LUST ETC.

BUT TODAY/YESTERDAY (RIP SLEEP SCHEDULE) SINCE I WASNT ON TUMBLR, I READ TILL PAGE 70 OF THE BOOK (TILL THE PART CALLED WEDNESDAY) AND GOD FUCKING DAMN. I READ IT LISTENING TO AN AZIRAPHALE BOOKSHOP AMBIENCE AND WITH CHOPIN PLAYING AND CANDLES LIT. ANYWAY. THINGS THAT HAVE STUCK OUT TO ME:

Crowley. Just everything about Crowley. God I love him. I fucking love him. This is why I avoid reading the book. I'm such a slut for Crowley. It's manageable on the show when I know it's an actor. But WORDS CROWLEY? WORDS CROWLEY IS REAL. I AM SO IN LOVE.

Aziraphale has perfectly manicured hands. I'm pretty sure this has been mentioned three times in the first 70 pages. Three times at minimum. I forget how twink he is in the show (idk how) but man the book does NOT let you forget and I love that.

Crowley absent-mindedly sank a duck. Aziraphale called him my dear (fanfic authors everywhere: write that down write that motherfucking shit down it's better than porn). Crowley un-sunk the duck. The duck was cross.

CROWLEY DID I MENTIONED CROWLEY OH MY BABY FANCIED THE JAMES BOND DECALS HE WANTED TO LISTEN TO VIVALDI COZ THEY WERE SO STRESSED AFTER RECEIVING THE ANTICHRIST THEY LOVE GOLDEN GIRLS (I LOOKED IT UP AND OH CROWLEY) THEY DRANK FOR A WEEK AFTER SEEING THE SPANISH INQUISITION THEY OMG.

THE DRUNK SCENE. I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THE DOLPHINS CONVERSATION. OMG THESE TWO FUCKING FOOLS I ADORE THEM.

Crowley IN THAT SCENE AND AZIRAPHALE IN THAT SCENE HOLY SHIT. CROWLEY JUST LISTING OFF ALL THE THINGS SHE KNOWS AZIRAPHALE LOVES.

AND OMG. The CONVOLUTED FUCKING METAPHOR CROWLEY COMES UP WITH INVOLVING A LITTLE BIRD FLYING TO THE ENDS OF THE UNIVERSE AND PECKING A MOUNTAIN AND COMING BACK AND DOING IT ON LOOP. FOR WHAT? JUST TO SAY THAT WHEN THE MOUNTAIN WAS GONE, HEAVEN WOULD STILL BE PLAYING THE SOUND OF MUSIC.

As usual just like me Crowley shot himself in the foot with that metaphor. Because AZIRAPHALE, THE LEGEND, STARTS SAYING THE BIRD MUST BE IMMORTAL FOR THAT, AND THEN SAYS NO ACTUALLY THE BIRD IS BEING CARRIED IN A SPACESHIP AND THE DESCENDANTS EMERGE FROM THE SPACESHIP and poor crowley is saying SO THE BIRD REACHES THE MOUNTAIN and azi excitedly says IN THE SPACESHIP and AAAAAAAAA-

Anyway right yes sorry what were we doing oh right the book.

Anathema is so adorable as a kid what a little brat holy shit I love her. I want to see all her homework written in Middle English. I want to know which teacher finally summoned the balls to correct it.

NEWT MON CHERI HE'S SO EXCITED ABOUT ONLY DESTROYING THE HOUSE'S POWER CIRCUIT WITH HIS EXPERIMENT. Because apparently last time he fucking caused a power outage in the whole block. Or county. We stan an optimist (no one talk to me about Crowley being an optimist I will go feral and rip your larynx out).

THE THIRD BABY DID NOT WIN PRIZES FOR TROPICAL FISH. THIS IS LIKE THE ENDING OF VILETTE WHEN CHARLOTTE BRONTE GOT GUILTTRIPPED BY HER DAD INTO WRITING IT AS AN OPEN ENDING BUT WE ALL KNOW IT'S A TRAGEDY FUCK ME.

CROWLEY THE PRAY THAT HE DOESN'T IT SOUNDS SO SUAVE IN THE SHOW BUT IN THE BOOK IT LITERALLY SAYS "AND FLEES". THE CHAOTIC ANXIOUS MOTHERFUCKER MAKES A RUN FOR IT.

AZIRAPHALE FUCKING GLOWERING AT CUSTOMERS AND SCARING THEM AWAY USING EVERY MEANS SHORT OF PHYSICAL VIOLENCE IM DEAD THAT LITTLE BASTARD PEAK CROSS INTROVERT ELDRITCH MONSTER ENERGY.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR ADAM TO ENTER (WELL AS A NOT BABY) AHAH.

I HOPE WARLOCK IS OKAY.

CROWLEY BEING DESCRIBED AS A YOUNG MAN DOES THINGS TO ME. AS DO THE DARK HAIR AND GOOD CHEEKBONES. DON'T EVEN TALK ABOUT DOING WEIRD THINGS WITH HIS TONGUE. I AM A SLUT FOR HER. IT'S TIMES LIKE THIS I REMEMBER WHY IM GREYACE AND NOT ENTIRELY ASEXUAL. IT'S CROWLEY.

I LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKES LIKE I DON'T EVEN GET SOME BUT THE DRY TONE IS HILARIOUS. LIKE HOW BOTH WARLOCK'S HEAVENLY AND HELLISH TUTORS READ FROM THE BOOK OF REVELATION. AND THE CUTTING COMMENTARY LIKE HOW THE DOWLINGS' SECRET AGENTS WERE TRAINED TO REACT TO WOMEN IN LONG ROBES. OR THE POLITICAL COMEDY WITH ALL THE CULTURAL ATTACHES AT ST JAMES. IT MAKES ME AMUSED EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO CONTEXT. I WISH I UNDERSTOOD THEM MORE.

SORRY WHY AM I YELLING ABOUT THIS BEFORE 6 IN THE MORNING FUCK I FORGOT MY SLEEP MEDS NO WONDER IM STILL AWAKE AND HYPER ALSO CROWLEY ALSO AZI ALSO ADAM I HOPE MY LITTLE PLANTS MAKE IT.

WHEN IM DONE READING THE BOOK I WANNA REREAD IT OUT LOUD TO MY THREE LITTLE PLANTS TO MAKE THEM GROW HAPPY AND KNOW WHOM THEY WERE NAMED AFTER.

#good omens mascot #weirdly specific but ok #asmi #maggots #good omens #good omens fandom #crowley #aziraphale #neil gaiman #terry pratchett #newton pulsifer #anathema device #adam young #book omens #good omens book #lgbtqia #the nice and accurate prophecies of agnes nutter

[pretending-ican-write]

Cowboy Up - Pt.1 - Ryan x Dutton!reader

Um so I watched all of Yellowstone last week and as a result, my multi-year writer's block was broken by a need to see more of Ryan because I am obsessed with Ian Bohen. Idk how many parts this will have or how often it will get updated as I'm in the last few months of uni but I hope y'all enjoy!

Pairing: Ryan (Yellowstone) x Dutton!Reader (Kayce's twin sister)

WC: 1053

Next part

Disclaimer: Beyond watching Yellowstone I have zero/little knowledge of Western riding and the ranching lifestyle but I do know horses so that has certainly influenced this! I'm also English so writing dialogue correctly for them is not my strong point! If you find any issues please let me know!

---

The sun was just beginning to dip below the mountains and the cold was starting to set in when she joined him on the fence.  Neither of them spoke for a while, just looking out at the vastness in front of them, all that was theirs but came with so many conditions.  

Eventually she broke the silence, “so you told him?  How’d he take that one?”

Wordlessly he opened his shirt where the ‘Y’ was just starting to scab over, still red and angry.

“Motherfucker,” she swore, “this ain’t fair Kayce.  He doesn’t just get to do this.”

He shook his head, “dad does whatever he wants and there ain’t no consequences for him.  That’s why I gotta do this.”

“Shit man.  What’s Monica gonna do?  Besides worrying about you getting your ass shot in the desert miles from civilisation?”

Kayce chuckled, “beats getting my ass shot in the middle of Montana miles from civilisation.  She’ll be okay, her family will help and she’ll be a teacher.  Just like she planned.  It’s you I’m worried about here with dad and no one else to speak sense to.  ‘Cept Lee”

“Well I’m leaving, dad be damned.  I’m not gonna be a pawn in his power trip.  Gonna go see this godforsaken country and win it all so that when I come back he can’t question whether it’s where I wanna be,” she declared.

Her brother rolled his eyes, “you ain’t talking about the same him now.”

“I don’t know what your talking about,” she denied, staring out at the darkened mountains.

Kayce shoved her shoulder, “you can’t bullshit to me y/n.  That’s the one problem with being twins, ain’t no way to lie to me.”

“I’m just a kid to him, he ain’t ever gonna see me any other way if I stay here,” she admitted, “hell if I stay here no one will ever see me as anything more than his kid.  ‘S why we both gotta do this Kayce.”

He nodded, “no way to stand in the sun in this state, always gonna be a shadow.”

“When I come back I’ll be able to stand in sunlight so bright I’ll have a fucking halo.”

-/-/-

2 years later…

 Montana has its charms all year round, but fall has a particular appeal.  The leaves had started to turn, there was a chill in the air that only seemed to get  stronger and there was still a frost on the grass that the sun hadn’t hit.  

With the sun keeping the cold from their bones, the Yellowstone ranch hands were occupying themselves keeping their roping skills fresh.  Rip observed from the sidelines as the new hand struggled to keep up with Ryan who turned to lecture the kid about keeping his eye on the steer.  

Lloyd rolled his eyes when he missed the horns again, “you gotta try harder than that if you wanna be a wrangler!”

“He keeps pulling the damn steer too early,” the hand argued back.

Ryan glared at him, “don’t fuckin’ blame me for your bad skills.”

Before they could descend into an all out brawl, the group were distracted by the sound and sight of truck coming down the road.  They watched it pull up in front of the barn, trailer in tow.  A rare silence occupied them as they watched a young woman step out, adjust her hat then stare out across the ranch in front of her.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Lloyd muttered, “she’s back.  You fuckin’ know about this?”

Rip said nothing, but his face gave the answer.  The other hands who recognised her muttered between themselves about what she was doing back after so long.

The new hand leaned over towards Ryan, “who the fuck is that and why does everybody care?”

“That is y/n Dutton,” he answered without taking his eyes off of her.

“I didn’t know John had another daughter,” he responded.

Ryan shook his head, “hell kid you gotta lot to learn about this place.”

“She’s fuckin’ hot mind,” the hand murmered.

The older hand spat out his words, “you keep words like that off your tongue if you want to keep it.”

Lee stepped out of the barn and stepped around the truck to greet her, “the prodigal daughter returns.”

“I don’t see Beth anywhere,” she laughed bitterly, “but it’s good to see you Lee.”

He hugged her, “I’m glad you’re back.  Been a long time coming.”

“I came back for me, not for him remember that,” she turned towards the corral, “think I’ve given them enough of a show to explain it so they can pick their jaws up off the floor?”

He gestured for her to follow him towards where the ranch hands were all still quietly watching.  She strode over to the group, smiling at Rip who nodded back at her.

“Where’s that mare of yours?” He asked.

Y/n shrugged, “a champion barrel horse would be wasted on this ranch.  Sold her for more money than I’m ever gonna earn in the rest of my lifetime.”

“You ain’t rodeoing anymore?” Lloyd questioned.

“I did what I set out to do when I went on the circuit.  Saw this godforsaken country and won it all.  It’d get boring to win it over again,” she moved her gaze towards where Ryan was watching her, “ain’t no one gonna question where I wanna be now.”

Rip nodded, “afraid we ain’t got a horse to spare for you y/n.”

“I got that covered Rip.  Got one coming up tomorrow from a ranch in Wyoming.  Some fuckin’ old school boys who don’t know how to be nice to a horse they didn’t ruin,” she explained, “man’s wife broke it and now she’s dead ain’t no one gonna ride him gentle.  Figured he might stand a chance with me.”

Lloyd chuckled, “always were a soft hand.  Figured that’s how you won it all.”

“Guess that question that remains is, do you have a place for me?  Not in the house but here,” she clarified.

Lee looked at Rip then back at his sister, “I reckon so.  You gonna stay in the bunkhouse?”

“Oh fuck no,” y/n laughed, “I didn’t drag that thing all the way from Texas to sleep with these fuckheads.  It’s looked after me in worse places.  Think it’ll do just fine here.”

#ryan yellowstone #ryan yellowstone x reader #yellowstone #yellowstone tv #yellowstone imagine #dutton ranch #dutton!reader #ian bohen

[sugolara]

𝘿𝙪𝙙𝙚, 𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙩 𝙚𝙡𝙗𝙤𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙚

feat. katsuki bakugo x fem! reader

cw: crack? idk

˗ˏˋ+ ´ˎ˗ where katsuki and y/n start a game of elbowing, refusing to end the game and being called a loser.

"and then she got mad at me because i didn't lend her my makeup. she had pinkeye and it wasn't sanitary. i'm not a bad friend, am i?" momo worriedly asked y/n, who stood next to momo's seat.

y/n nodded with her hand underneath her chin, "yeah, you right, i wouldn't let her use it either."

they continued chatting and waited for the school bell to ring. every now and then students would come in and out. the teacher, shota, sleeping on his desk and waiting for the bell to ring as well.

when the school bell rang, the kids slowly went back to their seat. as for y/n, she waited for momo to finish her conversation. y/n then felt a sharp pain on her side. momo quickly stood up as y/n hurled in pain, "are you okay?!"

y/n didn't need to turn to the figure who had elbowed her. she waved momo off and walked to her seat clutching her side and mumbling, "i'm fine, i'm fine."

from the distance, denki and eijiro stared at each other. denki sighed, "they're still going at it?"

eijiro sighed as well, "yep."

the whole class, katsuki felt a pair of (e/c) eyes glaring at the back of his head. he turned to look at y/n, giving her a not so friendly smile. he saw her give him a dirty look and mouthed at him, 'watch you're back.'

when the final bell had rang, indicating that school was over, everyone had packed up and left through the school gate. it was maybe five minutes after the bell had rang and the school was almost completely empty, besides the school staff.

the only last two remaining students were katsuki, who needed to speak to all might, and y/n who stayed behind to talk to shota who gave her a low score on english.

coincidentally, they both ended up exiting the school at the same time. and now they walked side by side.

they glared ahead, finding each others presence annoying. katsuki's sneered as y/n 'accidently' shoved him, making him trip over his steps. her small chuckle angering the blonde headed male.

then the game had started again, katsuki nudged her and she nudged him back. the nudges quickly turned into shoves.

"dude, quit it."

"you quit it."

then they started elbowing each other, like really hard.

"ow, motherfucker!" y/n yelled as she rammed her elbow into him and stomped on his foot.

"ow! what the fuck!" katsuki seethed in pain and rammed his elbow on her side. the entire walk was filled with pain, they were sure they would have bruises on their side.

katsuki's last straw was when she literally punched him on the side. and without even thinking, katsuki had shoved her into some random bushes and ran like hell while giggling. the last thing he heard was her shrieking voice.

"bakugo!"

#katsuki x you #katsuki x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugo katuski #katsuki x y/n #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugō #x reader #mha bakugou #mha #mha crack

[lowkeyrobin]

Mid90s gang reacting to reader writing a book about them and their friendship and reader wins a writing contest!!

- ♣️ (I'm giving you fluff okay I've decided I've tortured you enough with angst 🙄)

LMFAO YES YOU HAVE and I've been procrastinating those oneshots you sent me 💀💀

MID90S ; writer

includes ; fuckshit, ray, fourthgrade, ruben (platonic), & stevie (platonic)

warnings ; language, mentions of alcohol and drugs

masterlist

FUCKSHIT

you were no writer what-so-fucking-ever

while high, he dared you to enter some writing contest for school

"how funny would it be if some random junior won?"

honestly it would be funny, considering you're not a writer, you're a skater

you entered just for the fun of it, plus you had a great chance at beating some of the other contestants because you knew their writing was shit

you didn't even know what to write for the first two weeks

then it popped up in your head, like holy shit it was so obvious

you decided to write about yours and fuckshits long friendship history

from how you met, to your nicknames and to your other friends

let's just say, other than the profanity, the judges/senior english teachers loved it

you wrote like a whole motherfucking novel too

you got second place, considering they'd be in trouble for awarding a book with so much inappropriate content with first

plus the person who won first definitely deserved it

teachers were literally suggesting you publish the fuckin thing too like calm down ⁉️⁉️

fuckshit was too lazy to read it at first, but once you told him it was about you two and that you won second place? nah reading that was all he did

I honestly hc that he's a little dyslexic so he was struggling a little bit

but he loved it, it was genuinely moving to him and its literally about him

brought him to tears that he tried to hide

which he did to help his fragile ego by hugging you and hiding his face in your shoulder

genuinley so grateful for you

RAY

you were kinda iffy with writing

but once you saw the amount of money you could get from winning...?

shit sign me up

a thousand dollars to win first off of something you wrote? okay let's go LMAO

you didn't know what to write about because it's not like there was a given prompt so you just kinda spilled out stories and shit about you and ray

you made sure to leave out all the drugs and shit because you weren't gonna try and get in trouble LMAO honestly real

the judges loved it though

it was about 104 pages, so you made the actual like minimum, which was 80 pages

but thankfully for you, quantity doesn't equal quality

you actually got third surprisingly

that's still 400 dollars though

you didn't actually tell Ray or the others about you joining that contest so when you walked in with 400 dollars, a smile on your face and your skateboard and 52 sheets of notebook paper connected by a keyring under your arm, damn

you quickly explained and set your stuff down and Ray just scooped you up and spun you around while he hugged you

he's a simpleton but you got him giggling and shit okay??

genuinley so flustered that you wrote about you and him of all people like huh

he reads it front to back at least 3 times

FOURTHGRADE

you were pretty passionate about writing

so when your school was promoting a novel contest you knew you had to join

a thousand dollars would've done you a lot

you spent the next six months writing about you and fourthgrade, stories, how you met, favorite memories, random blurbs, etcetera

you told him about it but never that you were writing about him

you wanted it to be a surprise lmao

i also hc that he's a little dyslexic so 💀

you actually won too

apparently it was so "inspiring and moving amongst the youths" that you won ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS for it, IN CASH

you sprinted over to Motorz and immediately wrapped fourthgrade in a hug

"thanks for being such great inspiration"

"huh?"

you genuinley just retold some of his camcorder tapes for a bit of the book too so you had to give him some credit

you gave him 200 dollars because he refused to take any more

the duo

RUBEN

bro couldn't care less that you joined a writing competition

"whatever you want"

you have the annoying sibling dynamic what can I say

"dude I'll give you 100 bucks if you just be supportive"

"fine"

you wrote about him and your awesome sibling relationship

you made sure to cut out all the abuse and just say "growing up in a rough household" and "growing up not as privileged as everyone else" and shit bc you weren't getting cps called on anyone

you wrote like 70 pages

you got third

but you got 200 dollars so you basically split it with him

he ended up reading it because he was bored at motorz one night and you left it laying around

he's never smiled while crying before

you come in the next morning and he just silently hugs you

you see the book thing on the couch where he slept and you just kinda knew

"why are you crying?"

"i'm not!"

STEVIE

you also have a very sibling like dynamic

although instead of annoying each other you're kind of the comfort siblings you've both never had

so when you brought up the fact you joined a writing competition because you had a good chance at winning, he was like "oh cool"

"i'm writing about you"

"what the fuck why?"

he's supportive tho

he'll ask how it's going and stuff and you'll just give a vague answer

by the time they're due and judged, he asks what you placed

you shrug and pull out a thousand dollars cash from your backpack with a smile

"holy shit!"

you smile and hand him half of it

he's confused as to why but accepts it graciously

I mean half of its about him so he deserves some credit

gives you a little hug and shit

#lowkeyrobin #mid90s x reader #mid90s imagine #mid90s preference #fuckshit x reader #ray x reader #fourthgrade x reader #stevie mid90s #ruben mid90s #a24 films #skater film #fuckshit mid90s #ray mid90s #fourthgrade mid90s #gn reader #gender neutral reader #they/them reader

[trash-and-trash-accessories]

Wow maybe I should plagiarize then post hole that seems not only lucrative but very fun and dramatic.

Honestly my source list is just a list of book titles and links to articles I read. It is not academically rigorous or properly styled. Ugh I remember having to "properly cite sources" in undergrad. Now I'm like eh you get the gist. I don't know how all these very academic video essayists do it.

Doing proper academic citations is hard but what's not hard at all is saying "this is a quote from" or "I read x book which posited that___"

Even I can do that and I am one of the dumbest motherfuckers I know. I literally cite Wikipedia on some of my videos! Wikipedia! This shit is not hard (tell the tiny 9th grade English teacher inside you to shut the fuck up, Wikipedia is great when you're first starting to look into a topic).

#james somerton #reality is so much more absurd than any fantasy #i am one of the dumbest motherfuckers I know #but that's because half my friends are lawyers or biomed phd candidates #the other half are semi employed folk punk musicians

[douglas-rain]

Top Five Douglas Rain Recommendations From Yours Truly

You want to see more of Douglas Rain, but you're not sure where to start? Well, do I have the thing for you! As the internet's most preeminent Douglas Rain expert (except for Gerry Flahive I guess, but he's kind of slow at answering emails and more focused on other stuff these days. If he wants to reclaim the title, he can meet me in the parking lot <3), I've made you a handy little list of some of my personal favourite performances by DR that I think you should see and/or hear!

And by 'little' I mean 'I got way too into this, so it's pretty long now'. I put it under a cut; you're welcome.

In the interest of fairness, I've chosen one performance from each of his fields of work (namely: ON STAGE, RADIO WORK, DOCUMENTARY NARRATION, TELEVISION and FILM). Please know, however, that I can give reviews of basically everything in the masterpost, so if you're interested in hearing about any of them, feel free to shoot me an ask!

Without further ado, let's get into it...

-

ON STAGE: Henry V (1966)

Okay, this one's teeeechnically a TV movie, but it's adapted from Stratford's staged production, so I'm counting it. It's also a rare treat in that we get to see DR in colour! (Everybody say THANK YOU to David Rain, his son, for bullying the Festival into restoring this production and adding it to their online catalogue. I owe him my life.)

This is one of Shakespeare's histories, part of the Henriad (aka the collection of plays about the accomplishments of various English kings). Henry V, the main guy in this one, is actually the crowned version of Prince Hal from both parts of Henry IV, a role that DR had played previously at Stratford, so this is a fun bit of character continuity for him! The play centres around the king's invasion of France, with a lot of ruminating on hope and despair and duty and bravery. Harry - as he is affectionately referred to on occasion - is really going through it, and DR portrays him with such emotional intensity. He's proud, he's fierce, he's clever, he's a BITCH and I like him SO MUCH.

The book has been edited down slightly to fit into a two hour runtime for television, but beyond a few... very funny jumpcuts, it's not really noticeable at all. And while the sets are kept mostly simple, the costumes are gorgeous. I went in not expecting much (a mistake I keep making when approaching Shakespeare plays, for some reason lol), and was thoroughly entertained the whole way through!

It also contains the transcendentally funny line, "Tennis balls, my liege!" because Shakespeare was the most hysterical motherfucker on planet Earth. It makes sense in context, I promise.

Can be found on Stratfest@Home, the online streaming service of the Stratford Festival (there's a 7-day free trial period if you sign up). You may also check my masterpost of performances for a possible alternative, but shhh.

-

RADIO WORK: Fifth Business (1980)

I love this one; it's literally so fucking funny. This radio play is a dramatisation of the 1970 novel of the same name by Robertson Davies. Fifth Business recounts the life story of Dunstable "Dunstan" Ramsay, from his boyhood in an idyllic (on the surface only) Canadian village to his experiences in the First World War, his career as a teacher and all the loves and complications he runs into, and the formative experiences peppering his life where he's never quite the main character. He is instead 'fifth business' - neither hero nor villain, but still integral to resolving the play's plot. Ramsay is clever, sarcastic and a goddamn weirdo who's obsessed with saints for non-religious reasons. He dodged a snowball as a kid and the consequences of that haunt him throughout the entire book.

The radio drama features a whole cast of actors, including of course DR as the protagonist (who also narrates everything btw), doing an absolutely delightful job. Fellow Stratford actress Martha Henry, who also happened to be his wife at the time, is in it too!

The entire drama is delightful, honestly. I liveblogged my experience listening to it for the first time, and man there is some wild shit happening in this novel. The entire things is about three and a half hours, but it really doesn't feel that long.

Can be found (in eight parts) on YouTube or on Archive.org. (Or in a junkbox on a sidewalk in Toronto. I'm still baffled by that.)

-

DOCUMENTARY NARRATION: Universe (1960)

A classic. Documentaries make up a sizeable chunk of the masterpost (thanks to the NFB website and archive channels on YouTube), so there were more options in this category than in any of the others. But I decided to go with this particular gem of a documentary.

It's about - who would have guessed - the universe, featuring the most advanced scientific knowledge of planets and stars at the time. The special effects are also quite impressive - if you move around Space Odyssey circles, you may have heard that the visuals of this documentary were a major inspiration for 2001. Also, DR's narration in Universe is what brought him to Stanley Kubrick's attention. You can probably guess how that ended. (Gerry Flahive has some articles about the whole thing if you don't.)

Anyway, Universe is a beautiful and meditative look at our galaxy and the many things it contains, and DR's narration is absolutely lovely. It clocks in at just under half an hour, so not that big of a time commitment either.

Can be found on YouTube or on the NFB website.

-

TELEVISION: William Lyon Mackenzie: A Friend To His Country (1961)

It's so hard to find old Canadian TV shows anywhere online and I'm forever bitter about it. Our options here are incredibly limited as a result, so you're just going to have to accept that I'm recommending you a historical short film from 1961, alright? This is as difficult for me as it is for you.

Unsurprisingly, this movie is about William Lyon Mackenzie, who was... *checks Wikipedia* "a Scottish Canadian-American journalist and politician." Yes, DR is doing a Scottish accent in this role. Yes, I adore it. I know very little about Canadian history, so I can't exactly speak to the film's accuracy, but I found it charming and DR is doing a very good job. Most of the half hour runtime is spent on Mackenzie's various political struggles (some sort of failed revolution, I gather, followed by exile in the United States and some jailtime) and him trying to protect his family. His wife is played by Canadian actress Kate Reid in this movie, which I personally find very funny for... reasons. IYKYK.

Can be found on YouTube or on the NFB website.

-

FILM: OEDIPUS REX (1957)

I'm sort of cheating again, but the only other options in this category that I have access to are the two Space Odyssey movies, and they seemed like too basic of a choice. So have some more drama instead! This is also a filmed version of one of Stratford's plays, but released in theatres this time.

Oedipus Rex is a breezy 87 minutes and adapts the English translation by Yeats of the classic Greek tragedy by Sophocles, with a little added prologue to set the scene. It was directed by Tyrone Guthrie, who you might remember as the Big Man from The Stratford Adventure. Or from the fact that he was a pretty famous theatre guy. If you need a refresher on your Greek myths: Oedipus was the guy who was prophesised to kill his father and marry his mother. He got done dirty by Freud somewhere down the line.

DR plays the role of the Messenger, a minor part who recounts some of the most famous plot points of the tragedy of Oedipus, which they couldn't show onscreen/onstage. Granted, he's only in this one for like five minutes, but he really rocks up to crash the party wearing the coolest outfit in the entire show. And yes, everyone in this production is wearing Greek theatre masks, so you can't see his face. You get to hear his voice though - and watch his captivating body language!

Can be found on YouTube. Or you can probably buy it on DVD if you really want to; idk, I'm not the boss of you. (I've also clipped his scene if you really, really don't want to watch the whole play. I get it's a big ask. Really beautiful production though, seriously!)

#douglas rain #stratford festival #national film board of canada #hal 9000 #2001 a space odyssey #(this is me loudly going PSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPS)

[lokisivy]

King Of My Heart - Eddie Munson

(Part 2)

Warnings: sexual content, dark Eddie, Henderson reader.

Sitting in English Class, my body is here, but my mind is the closet with Eddie.

I can feel him on my lips, neck his hands roaming through my body, one of his hands groping my boobs a firm griping my waist. motherfucker got me on chokehold.

"Your so fucking hot." He said  in between kisses  grip getting tighter on my waist.

"Eddie," I moan, catching my breath, his lips on my neck sucking biting. His hand snuck to my skirt, brushing his fingers through my thighs. Slowly going up to my clothed heat. I moan a little too loud.

"You like that, Huh?" He stated more than asked, smirking

"Mhm" you nodded rapidly--

"Miss Henderson would you like to join us?" My teacher intruprted My daydream

"Sorry Sir its just an event full day." You smiled looking at Eddie he winked at me.

...

"Robin I'm not gonna have sex with Eddie it was just  build up tension and we got it out of the way yesterday." I said biting the waffle on my fork.

We are having lunch at a diner we do them every Tuesdays.

"You can't think that was it you have liked him since last year and he is super nice to you and he isn't nice to anyone." She said excitedly.

"Robin, he isn't stable with a future. I can't risk being with someone selling drugs for living. Besides, I'm better off on my own."  You said sipping coffee

"You were the one eyeing him and he was eyeing you back all the time so live a little fuck him a couple times and break up before graduation." She said biting on her burger.

"What if he is too good and I can't let him go I mean he fingered me and he knew what he was doing." You said

"Ew ew ew don't tell me that just fuck around nothing serious." She said cringing.

"Give me that." She gives me the burger in her hand. I take a bit damn that's really good.

"This actually good." I tell Robin.

"I know now give it back I gotta get to work in a bit." She said.

...

The drive home was peace full I dropped off Robin at the store, and now I'm on my way home.

Maybe Robin is right. Maybe this doesn't have to be serious, just casual no labels, no king of my heart, bulshit.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie x you #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fic #klaus mikaelson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson headcanon #eddie munson headcanons #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson smut #klaus mikaelson smut #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #stranger things eddie munson #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x chrissy #dustin stranger things #henderson reader #stranger things imagine #robin stranger things #Spotify

[vergess]

Gonna be an ass now, don't take it personally, I'm off my meds again (I need to take my antipsychotic but am convinced it wants to kill me).

THE ISSUE IS THERE IS NOT AN UNGENDERED TITLE FOR INFORMAL AND INTIMATE USE CASES IN ENGLISH OKAY.

It's not ~~dude is a gendered word~~ it's all the words are gendered, and furthermore, are gendered almost universally MALE.

It is a fault in the FUCKING ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

And if you're going to get pissy about people whose dialect includes informal titles then you damned well better be ready to help them think of neutral alternatives. But. There. Aren't.

I have personally been told to stop using every one of these terms because it is gendered:

Friend

Pal

Mate

Buddy

Compatriot/Campadre

Buckeroo/Vaquero

Companion

Comrade/Camarade

Cashier

Host

Server

Stylist*

Hairdresser

Assistant*

Secretary*

P. A.*

Teacher*

Professor

Lecturer

Nurse*

Doctor

Folks++

[Shirt color only]

[Height description only]*

[Job description only]

*Were "gendered female" ++Were "gendered queer"

What, I beg of you, shall I call a motherfucker to their shitsucking face then?

Is it any FUCKING WONDER I am reduced to constantly cursing at people????

"I saw a dude in a purple hat" doesn't make me think of a fucking man, by the way, it makes me think of a cattle rancher in sequins.

So maybe this is a fUCKING SKILL ISSUE ON YOUR PART

#Automatic OP tag #Hate that post but it's not even a bad post hence my bitching and moaning instead of making real complaints in person

[shippergirl-14]

Hii, even though this apps had been on my phone for months I have no idea how to use it, but here have a South Park one shot I wrote.

It’s Creek bc they are adorable and btw I don’t fluently speak English so I‘m sorry for any mistakes

Clyde isn’t always wrong

" I'm sorry, Craig. I don't feel the same."

Blue eyes filled with guilt and other undetectable emotions were glued to the snowy ground. Tweek bit his tongue, stopping himself from apologizing over and over again. He shouldn't be apologizing in the first place, yet the little voice in his head was messing with him. He knew exactly what this was about, so there was no point in feeling bad. Without sparing his classmate another glance, the blonde left him in the cold.

Craig hasn't even noticed that he was alone now. His heart was still racing from the adrenaline rushing through his veins. The loud beating reached to his ears, drowning out any sounds around him and it hurt. What hurt even more was the fact he had got rejected by the boy he had fancied for the past year.

How could he not like Tweek Tweak ? He was perfect and would remind the stoic boy every time he stepped into his view. Would he still smile at Craig whenever they passed each other in the hallways ? Would he still turn around in his seat to have a little chat once in a while ? Had he completely ruined his chances of getting closer to the coffee addict by confessing to him ?

" Yo, dude. How did it go ?" An arm wrapped itself around his shoulder and the face of his annoying best friend Clyde came in view. This had been his idea. How could he be so dumb and listen to Clyde ? " I got rejected", he stated bluntly, still in shock over this realization. " Wait ! What ?" The grin that graced the brunette's face turned into a frown. " You're messing with me. There is no way." Craig rolled his eyes.

" Better believe it. You were wrong. He doesn't like me." Jimmy and Tolkien, who were standing right behind them, exchanged a worried glance. " I'm sorry, Craig. Is there anything we can do to make you feel better ?", the latter asked, stepping closer. " It's fine. Just leave me alone for a bit", their friend mumbled, freeing himself from the tight grib of the idiot.

Craig wanted to kick himself in the ass for confessing right before school started. Now, he was stuck with Tweek for the whole day. It would be awkward. God, could he get more stupid ? Hesitantly, he dragged his drained body to the building, hoping this day would be over soon. You couldn't blame him for wishing nothing more than hiding under his space themed blanket and ignoring his problems by sleeping until he couldn't anymore.

Maybe he would even cry, but what use would that be ? Crying was pathetic and it wouldn't magically change Tweek's mind. Clyde had always told him, it lifted a heavy weight from his shoulders after bawling his eyes out, but there was no way he would ever take the crybaby's advice seriously.

The hallways were as noisy as every morning. How could kids be that active at this ungodly hour ? Craig didn't have the energy to flip the kids, playing football, off as he was walking to class. Spotting the familiar mess of blonde hair, his heart clenched and he averted his eyes from the hurtful sight that would always remind him of the pain in his chest. Of course, an angel like the blonde wouldn't like a rude motherfucker like Craig Tucker! How could he have possibly thought that it wasn't this way ?

Tiredly, he fell into his seat far in the back as soon as he reached his class. If he was lucky enough the teacher would leave him alone for the day and if Mister Garrison wouldn't he always had the option to show him his middle finger. Maybe he would be sent home, escaping this hell hole, however he would rather avoid his mother's wrath that would come at him for being disciplined again. Skipping wasn't a possibility either, therefore he had to suffer in silence the whole day.

Stretching out his arms over the small desk, he placed his head on the table, not able to keep it up. All his energy had left his body the moment his ears had picked up the pitying tone of Tweek's voice. " Crushes are stupid", he told himself while playing with the eraser that had seen more colors than his actual notebook. Did everyone have the habit of drawing on the white little thing ? Philosophizing about everything and nothing might keep his mind at bay.

Unknown to him, bright blue eyes were fixed on him as the owner was biting his lips in the same nervous demeanor excepted from him.

The loud noises of the annoying bell couldn't rip Craig out of his trance. Had his teacher tried to talk to him ? Was this the end of the first period ? Why did people tend to cling to the tiniest string of hope, even though it was pointless ? He had no answer to any of those questions.

" Yo dude, aren't you getting up ?" A hand shook his shoulder violently, trying to stop the boy from drowning in his thoughts. Blinking confused, the space enthusiast managed to sit back up in his chair, analyzing the faces of his three friends. " It's time for lunch, come on" Tolkien pulled the energetic brunette away from the shell that used to be his classmate. It was no secret how hard Craig had fallen for the paranoid kid, which was only further proven with this kind of reaction. None of them had expected him to be rejected. It was just so weird.

" Oh", was the only thing that left the ravenette's dry lips before he rose from his place and followed the others to the cafeteria. Why would he even come here ? His stomach refused any food and the seemingly tasty tacos on the tray, that's been pushed into his arms, wouldn't change that fact. " I'm not hungry." A sentence his group had ignored, informing him how important a healthy diet was and that he shouldn't skip meals.

In the end, his plate hadn't been touched and the tallest wasn't even listening to the on going conversation. That wasn't surprising. Tolkien couldn't bare seeing the usual unaffected guy so heart broken. Even though he would rarely agree with Clyde, he had been just as convinced as him that Tweek would reciprocate his feelings.

It was so obvious. Shy glances whenever Craig wasn't looking, bright smiles whenever they had a lively conversation, baked gifts that he claimed to be too much for him to eat. The blonde even was calmer around him ! What did they miss ? Were all of those things just their imagination ? There was no way.

In the corner of his eye, Tolkien spotted said blonde disappearing into the hallways and decided to follow him. Excusing himself from the table, he quickly jump to his feet and sprinted after the person that could give him clarity. Fortunately, he witnessed him entering the bathroom, which should be empty around this time. Without hesitation, the dark haired boy opened the door and called out, " Tweek !"

" Gah !", came in response. Only, after the name holder was able to recover from his mini heart, he backed away, eyes widened in fear. "

Ahh, what do you want ? Kill me ?" His blonde locks were the first victim of his anxiety outburst as he grabbed a handful and yanked it. He had been on edge the whole day.

" What ? No ! Why would I even-", the other yelled back defensive and surprised, yet quickly came back to his senses, " look, Tweek. I'm just here to talk to you." The words seemed to have an effect on his classmate, as he was loosening the grib on his hair and was more willing to listen. " You're not gonna kick my ass for rejecting Craig ?"

" No, I wouldn't do such a thing, but I want to know why you rejected him." Tolkien kept his distance, observing his every step. The way he was now biting his finger nails reminded him how uncomfortable the other boy was under his piercing gaze. " Gah ! Why are you looking at me like that ? This is too much pressure !"

The coffee addict didn't have a glue how to handle this situation. Why would Craigs friend stare at him like that ? Was he mad ? Would he actually kill him and was hiding his true intentions ? Why were they targeting him anyway ?

Considering the fact that Tolkien hadn't backed down, his best choice was to answer his question. " Because I don't like him." That was a good enough reason to not get together with someone, right ?

Something was definitely wrong here. Everyone was aware that the anxious teen struggled with holding eye contact, yet he would occasionally met his conversational partners' gaze. However now, his eyes were fixed on the dirty floor as if it was the most interesting thing on earth.

Then it finally hit him. " You're lying." There was no other explanation for his increased anxiety and fidgeting. The blonde always had trouble being untruthful as he was too worried about getting caught. Only one question remained, though. Why would he say he didn't like Craig if he clearly did ?

" Gahh ! I'm not lying ! I don't like him", Tweek yelled, facing his classmate for the first time since he entered the bathroom, " you can tell your friends, too ! I don't like him and I'm definitely not falling for your bullshit !"

" What do you mean ? What bullshit ?" The older male was beyond confused. Nothing the younger was spouting made any sense.

" Don't give me that crap ! I know exactly what you were trying and I'm not falling for it again !" He pointed a finger accusingly at Tolkien. " I know Craig doesn't actually like me ! He can stop pretending to be sad."

" Tweek, take a deep breath and listen to me." The rich boy cautiously stepped closer, avoiding startling the already freaked out kid. With a calm tone, he carried on, " I still haven't figured out what this is all about but Craig really does like you and he isn't pretending to be sad."

" How do I know you're telling the truth ?"

" Well, for instance, Craig sucks at acting. Do you remember that one musical in seventh grade ? That should speak for itself." He chuckled remembering the embarrassing performance of his friend, also attempting to cut the tension by joking. " He is also always looking at you and trying to get close to you, thinking he is sneaky, but it's actually super obvious."

" Oh", was the only thing that left the blonde's mouth, clearly trying to process this information. Suddenly, he gasped, breaking the silence. " Oh my god ! He really sucks at acting ! Does he actually like me ? Oh god, I'm so stupid. Why do I keep messing up ?"

" Woah, Tweek. Calm down." Gently, Tolkien placed his hands on the tense shoulders of the shaking male. " Can you tell me why you claimed to not like him when you actually do ?"

" I thought you were pulling a prank on me, but now I messed up badly and made Craig sad. He probably hates me now. What do I do ? This is too much pressure !" How could he be so cruel and accuse Craig of playing with his feelings ? Again, he had proven that he was nothing more than a paranoid freak.

" Just talk to him. I'm sure if you explain whatever had stopped you from accepting his confession he will understand." Tolkien smiled encouraging, hoping it would help to ease the other's nerves. The notification sound of his phone forced him to release his grib on Tweek and checked the noisy device. " Oh, Craig is leaving", he read the message of Clyde out loud.

" I need to fix this !", the anxious male stated, clearly not convinced of his abilities, yet he would do whatever it took to not have Craig hate him. " Thank you", he showed his gratitude to his classmate, running out of the door immediately, before his mind could tell him this was a bad idea.

Arriving outside, he quickly caught glimpse of a blue hat, whose owner was walking towards the bus stop. " Craig !", he called out, rushing over the fast he could. The ravenette spun around, not expecting to be adressed, far less from Tweek himself.

Regaining his composure, he crossed his arms and glared at the boy, that was bending over and panting heavily in front of him. " What do you want ?" He didn't mean to sound so pissed and make Tweek flinch, but he wasn't in the mood for talking. What could he possibly want now after breaking his heart ? Apologizing again ? No, thanks.

" I lied", his classmate blurted out between breaths, not providing any further explanation. " What's that supposed to mean ?"

" I lied about not liking you. I do like you", he admitted, feeling a bit relieved to have finally been able to confess as well. If he hadn't been so scared from the start he would have spilled his feelings. Another reason to hate his overthinking mind.

" What the actual fuck, Tweek ?!", Craig raised his voice in utter disbelief what he had just heard, " is this some sort of joke ? Dude, you literally rejected not five hours ago ! Why the fuck did you do that if you like me ?" On the one hand, he was furious. Did Tweek just wanted to make him suffer even more ? His classmate wouldn't intentionally hurt others, yet he couldn't be entirely sure at the moment. His words reminded him of the aching pain in his chest that he couldn't get rid of. Even though his admission might be fake, it made his heart jump. Nevertheless, he wouldn't let himself cling to the silver of hope solely to be rejected again.

On the other hand, he was confused. If his love wasn't unrequited, then why wouldn't the coffee addict accept his invite to a date in the first place ? His mind couldn't come up with any possible explanations, so he just kept on glaring angrily at the nervous boy, expecting him to deliver a really good reason for his behavior.

" I thought you were playing a prank on me and-" Tweek was immediately interrupted by the offended male. " Do you really think I would do such a thing ? Play with your feelings ? Do you really think I'm that kind of person ?" He couldn't even be mad anymore. He was just sad. His crush didn't saw him as more than a stoic asshole. That stung.

" No, no ! That's not it ! I'm always super nervous whenever you talk to me and then you suddenly confessed your feelings and I was like " no, Craig is way too cool to like you" and then I spotted your friends hiding behind a tree and then I panicked more and just blurted out that I don't like you", the anxious kid started rambling on. The words were leaving his mouth too fast to be understood, yet Craig magically comprehended the mess of a sentence. Only when a shaking hand reached out to yank at his hair, he dared to step closer and gently take the hand in his.

Ignoring his pounding heart and the warmth that washed over him, he interlocked their fingers, hoping to prevent the dreading panic attack. It worked better than he had expected. Even though Tweek was still trembling, he had relaxed his body the moment they had touched.

" You think I'm cool ?", Craig suddenly questioned, remembering what the other previously said.

" Of course, I do. You literally know everything about space and star constellations, you're so good at math and physics it's insane. You almost always keep your cool", Tweek listed merely a few things he admired about his crush, however he could go on for days. " I never thought anyone would consider this things cool", Craig responded bashfully, before regaining his composure and clearing his throat, " I still don't understand why you thought I would be pulling a prank on you and what it had to do with my friends watching."

Shifting uncomfortably under his gaze, Tweek bit his already abused lip. " Okay, I will tell you", he spoke quietly, eyes darting to the ground, " two years ago, I had a big crush on a regular costumer of our coffee shop. He would always strike a conversation and I thought he might have been flirting, as well. I was so obviously in love with him. It's embarrassing. One day, he was waiting outside for me and claimed that he wanted to tell me something. I failed to see his friends hiding behind a car"

Blue eyes were shut tightly as he inhaled to brace himself for the next part of his story. " He confessed and I was overjoyed, so of course I accepted. The moment, I said "yes", he started laughing with his friends joining in. He told me the confession was only a dare and that it was too easy to fool me. When you confessed this morning, I had flashbacks of this day", he finished his story, too ashamed to look at Craig.

" I know you aren't like that, but I'm always assuming the worst because I'm always so god damn anxious and annoying." The ravenette shook his head and squeezed his hand reassuringly. " You aren't annoying. Don't spit nonsense about yourself." His tone was soft and his eyes displayed the love he felt for the blonde. " and now I understand you better. If something like this had happened to me I would have been suspicious, as well. I'm really sorry that this asshole broke your trust. This dude deserves a beating."

" You don't hate me anymore ?", Tweek asked, still afraid that his crush might be still mad. " Tweek, I never hated you. I was just upset", Craig eased his mind with a small smile, " would you now like to go on a date with me ?" This time, the blonde didn't hesitate to answer, " Of course, I would like that. Tell me when and where." Both of them had a big grin planted on their faces as they we were gazing at each other.

" How about right now ? Let's go to the cinema", the taller boy proposed, giving the smaller one another heart attack as he started pulling him in his desired direction. " But what about class ? We're gonna get in so much trouble", Tweek interjected nervously, yet let himself be dragged by his ecstatic date. " Who cares. We're already too late anyway, so why not skip." The blonde was quickly convinced since he would rather spent time with him than listen to Mister Garrison talk. As long as Craig was by his side he would be fine.

Even though the day started out awful for him, everything seemed to have turned around for Craig. Maybe he should listen to Clyde more often ?

———————

Hii, if you enjoyed that you could always look at my other works on wattpad or ao3 ^^

#south park #sp creek #sp craig #sp tweek #craig tucker #tweek tweak #craig x tweek

[buckttommy]

9-1-1 Girlfriends Ranked

Tatiana: 10/10. what a milf. honk honk get a load of those mommy milkers in season 2, am i right. yeah sure she was a cunt in season 1, but my girl GLOWED UP. worked on commitment issues? check. apologized for how she treated chim when they were dating? check. really cute as a pregnant lady? check! like. she 👏 did 👏 not 👏 miss 👏 love her, hope she is doing well mwah mwah

Eva: 4/10. the ONLY reason she's not a 0/10 is because of her sobriety. i'll give her points for that. it took a minute, but she got her head on straight. she still put hen/karen through HELL and i'll never forgive her for that, but she came through in the end and patched herself up. good on her.

Ali: 8/10. ok who doesn't love ali? classy, smart, funny, sexy. not sure what it is about 911 girlfriends breaking up with their men when they are in the middle of some sort of physical or emotional distress, but at least she was nice about it.

Ana: 6/10. ana.... ana, ana, ana. what to say about ana. well. she is pretty. she was kind of a bitch toward the end but you know what? that's what i like about her. first she hits you with that "teehee i'm just a sweet little old english teacher don't mind me :)" spiel and then BAM "why? you're fine. you're not about to pass out or anything?" it's giving spice it's giving flavor it's giving Flare. love a woman who can do both.

Abby: 5/10. i'm so neutral about abby. she does nothing for me. she was there and then she wasn't so we're just going to drop her in the middle of the board, barely a blip on the radar. whoosh there she goes. i have already forgotten about her.

Taylor: -105275/10. *rubs temples* :). there's this old saying that if you don't have anything nice to say about someone, then to not say anything at all. fortunately for me, taylor kelly is a fictional character and i can say whatever i want. cunt (derogatory) motherfucker (derogatory) i hated every second she was on my screen. unnecessarily rude, one of those people who says "i'm not mean i just tell the truth" and then proceeds to make orphan children cry. invasive, exploitative, bitch (derogatory). someone ask me if i've forgiven her for what she did to bobby because the answer is no <3 die <3

#jack.txt #we'll skip the part where you all tell me this is misogynistic and just jump right to the part where you all agree with me

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

I whine a lot about latin and being graded on it sucks and grammar is hard and annoying BUT i just saw someone be a dickhead about learning latin so GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER i'm gonna list everything i love about it.

even before we could translate shit and just wrangled dry grammar and vocab i have such fond memories (well credit goes to our teacher there)

like the entire class just marching around the classroom all chanting "is ea id! eius eius eius! ei ei ei!" etc it was so much fun

stopping the time to see who can decline a noun the fastest! to this day if i get stuck i just mentally chant "imperator-imperatoris-imperatore-" suuuuuper fast

also so many words just make sense! like some vocab is literally just like in my native language or in english. and other have helped me so much while learning french and some spanish! it's all! the same! roots! and for my language-loving ass this is actually paradise!!

one we *were* able to translate shit we got to translate actual. texts.

caesar!! an annoying bastard with six-line run-on sentences where nothing makes sense but we literally read THE ORIGINAL CAESAR BOOKS. in their original language. the way he wrote them. that is SO COOL and impressive!!!

the same applies to cicero! and catull! they are so well-known and i read their original texts without error of translation or nuance lost to language differences

i read about the eruption of mt vesuvius in the original, ORIGINAL actual source used by historians to learn about this!! i literally read the original wording of pliny's letters *AND I UNDERSTOOD* (mostly)

martial was a funny motherfucker and i analyzed his poems in their original language! i could see (if not necessarily understand) ever linguistic twist and joke he wrote into them! the ones that can't be translated! i read those!!

almost every time i see latin out in the wild i can just. understand shit?? there's some weird stuff above the door of that super old interesting church how about i translate that and know what teh fuck it says i can literally do that

like FUCK people who think otherwise! it can suck in class but latin is an amazing language to learn! yeah it's dead, but GUESS WHAT it influences so many things still! it's so important still! and interesting! and if you think something sucks just bc it's old and no longer directly present, well, rip to you and also dinosaurs. LEARNING LATIN ABSOLUTELY RULES. I HAVE LOST SO MUCH SLEEP AND SWEAT AND TEARS TO THIS LANGUAGE BUT I AM SO GLAD I GOT TO LEARN IT FOR FOUR YEARS REGARDLESS. I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH. THIS WILL ALWAYS BE USEFUL IN SOME WAY

#yes the exams suck #(point in question: today [tho i did ok i think]) #BUZ #B U T #*point to post above* #just. im also excited that that post got me fiercely defensive and i argued myself back into loving it #i mean im done after this year (getting my certificate thingy hopefully) but damn #what a time #it *was* worth it #also another shout-out to my first latin teacher. she was amazing. we all loved latin back then and the entire class had As and Bs #and we were so motivated #without her i would not have gotten to the still somewhat decent grades i have today lmao #without her a lot of other stuff would be missing as well but lets not get into that rn #latin #languages #a biscuit's rambles

[gnarledbite]

" you're like, european, right? "ㅤthat's about the most specific they feel comfortable being, with how little they know of garrett's history before his embrace and their not so positive experience with a particular item tied to that history. they're curious though — about a lot of things, really, but tonight they're specifically interested in language. and more specifically than that...ㅤ" but not english european? like, you speak at least one other language, yeah? you should share some'a your favourite ways to swear with me, i love hearin' about that shit. used t' learn those kindsa things from kids with bilingual families back when i was in school, just so i could swear in front'a teachers 'n shit without gettin' in trouble. used t' think that was real funny. "ㅤthey still think it's pretty funny, to be honest.

Garrett looked up from his laptop at their first issued question, curious but holding on to his reply until their reason behind asking became clear. Once it did, the Nosferatu chuckled softly for a second, and then laughed and shook his head.

“Meeting up with other units in the war, someone would eventually ask about curse words just to pass the time. It's almost nice to know that that hasn’t changed in a hundred years,” he said. “I'm Polish to be specific, and I speak three other languages besides English: Polish, of course, and German and Finnish.”

He paused to sort through a few words, unable to help the crooked smirk. “Let's see… spierdalaj is Polish, it means “fuck off”. Dupek is Polish too, and can either mean “asshole” or is referring to someone very, very stupid.”

Betty, hearing snippets of the language Garrett usually used to speak to her, chirruped and padded over to him, headbutting his legs and scent-marking his shoes. 

“No no, I wasn't talking to you,” he muttered, using his claws to give her a few scritches. “Scheißdreck is German, it can mean motherfucker or (in a literal translation) fucking shit. Perkele is an interesting one. It's Finnish for “evil spirit”, but it's usually used as a more… profane version of god damn.”

"What about you? Got any curses to trade?"

#Answered #byanyan #this was fun thank you X3

[caleblandrybones]

Tagged by my brand new mutual @thebusylilbee 🐦❤️

1. Are you named after anyone ?

kinda sorta ish but since it's a play on my last name I can't tell you

2. When was the last time you cried ?

not long ago, the last time the loneliness got really overwhelming (I don't cry nearly as much as I used to)

3. Do you have kids ?

michael h. mando

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot ?

oh yeah big time

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people ?

probably whether they seem introverted or extraverted in the way they introduce themselves or exist in the room

6. What’s your eye color ?

hazel :)

7. Scary movies or happy endings ?

scary movies all day any day

8. Any special talents ?

i have a really good echoic memory! i still remember tapes and poems i memorized as a little kid

9. Where were you born ?

parisian motherfucker born and raised

10. What are your hobbies ?

hahaha it used to be going to garage sales and thrift stores, mostly, i was obsessed. I also used to take singing lessons. now I try to doodle, watch commentary youtubers and video essays, and i takes drama and improv classes! im still trying to push myself out of my comfort zone a little

11. Do you have any pets ?

no :( i don't think i could care for them very well

12. What sports do you play/have you played ?

I'm a wimp but if it counts I did aikido for a little bit

13. How tall are you ?

165 cm/5.5 ft

14. Favorite subject in school ?

french and literature ❤️ i used to be the teacher's pet until i wasn't bc my syntax is chaotic. also english class my beloved i always crushed it so good

15. Dream job ?

I don't even bake but bread has always been so fascinating to me i've always wanted to be a baker. another childhood dream is children's books illustrator :)

Tagging @chocopinda @karlavhh @howabhwmwn @slainmanca @cooked-out-euro-trash @jimmiesfapdepartment @septembersghost @boobssuckerextraordinaire @holdvilagos @makingmemesforme @karinyosa @seancefemme @operation-annihilate @themadknightuniverse and whoever wants to :)

#tag game

[owlrolls]

Top 3 engport AU's for your consideration and what I think about them

Nyotalia

- a classic, really

- the girls, just like their male counterparts, are super devoted to eachother

- they realized they were into eachtoher after years of "learning how to kiss" sessions with the other, something like:

"hey Joana,,,"

"mhm?"

"do you know how to kiss?"

"oh,, well,,-I I get the gist of it! I once had a human boyfriend y'know! "

"woah! So can you teach me?? :D"

"what"

"what"

- once my history teacher said that the biggest flaw the Portuguese have is jealousy, but, weirdly enough, I don't think Joana would do much when she sees Edith with other people, untiiiillll she realizes they're just friends

- she'd just give the death stare and hope for the best and cry a bit on the inside when people ask if she needs to use the restroom

- talking about jealousy, I think Edith would be more calm? Just like Joana maybe stare "👁️👁️" style but then once the chat is over she'd just ask who it is

- again, non-confrontational people

- they may have had less fights than the boys but when they had 'em, boy were they ugly

- during the ww2, Joana cut her hair really short to look like a man and to be accepted and respected around her peers and Edith let hers grow to look more feminine and appealing during her spionage days

- Joana's favorite thing on Edith is when she gets to ramble on something she likes and spends hours if not days remebering little details about the topjc

- Ediths is when Joana remembers little details she mentions during her ramblings, her favorite brand of perfume, why her favorite tea is the best, how many times her sisters had to get her out of the top of a tree like a scared cat because that apple just look THAT tasty, the look on her face when the alliance was signed and she spilled wine one her dress while celebrating

- 1000/10 incredible AU MWAH

Hetalia Gakuenl AU

- met at the paranormal club when Gabe had to get Vlad home because it was getting late and Romulus had forgotten him at school

- first interaction is a complete disaster:

"Guys this is my cousin Gabriel!"

"Hi."

"Hi"

"Oh, hey I know you from physics class, Lukas right?"

"Mhm"

"And you."

"ah shit"

"didn't you remind the English teacher about the test?"

"fucking hell."

"PFFTTT--"

"Vlad you traitor, you better sleep with an eye open"

- anyways, Gabe coming to the club to pick up his cousin is recurring theme, sometimes with his brother, sometimes with his other cousins

"Vlaaaad, your cousin's here"

"oh right, sorry guys!"

"wait."

"c'mere"

"mhm?"

"hey, um, is your cousin by any chance,,, into boys?,,"

"OH"

"SILENCE HEATHEN"

"..."

"yes or no"

"ask him yourself <3"

"motherfucker"

So there goes Tumblr sexyman, Arthur Kirkland:

"hey-"

"oh hi, what up ^^"

"do you wanna go out with me."

"I literally don't know you"

"👁️👁️.... 👁️👁️"

"yeah I do"

- the rest is up to your imagination, but it's just so sweet and friends to lovers (best trope) and cute UGHH ><

- 9.8/10

Coffee shop/Pub AU

- Barista Arthur and bartender Gabriel, name a better duo

- Arthur works at this silly little coffee shop owned by him and his brothers

- it's a cozy and comfortable 2 store space

- above is their home and below is the shop

- one day walks in Gabriel, looking as if he didn't sleep the last 4 days, asking for a tall black coffee, with sugar, steaming hot

"hey, are you sure, lad? We have other things that could help with whatever's going on with you"

"sighs nah, just.. Don't worry I'm fine with that, how much is it anyways?"

"1.50€"

"aight"

*slides a custard tart* "it's on the house"

- Gabe is very much surprised pikachu face.png

-later on to relieve stress from work Art goes to a pub

"gimme your strongest whiskey, one beer and a glass of vodka"

"you really need to get a hold of your nerves Arthur; gonna end up dead"

"pew pew!"

"sighs come on to the back, I'll take care of ya', it's on the house"

9.5/10 - so so good ^o^

#engport #engport AU's #hetalia #hws portugal #nyo portugal #hws england #nyo england #owl rambles #had to take this off my chest

[fragilediary-of-evren]

April 29th, 2024 - Chains

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My new necklaces are actually very thin chains with shiny charms. The one with the dice was tangled in my jewelry box, I don't know why. But a friend fixed it for me.

I had my English exam today. It was pretty easy. I shared my macaroons with my classmates and even my Law teacher. It was a great time.

It was so rainy today. My mother drive me to school but I had to run like an idiot to get to the entrance. Somehoe I barely got wet.

I slept for like two hours when I came home. I haven't done a single thing from my Economy homework. I'm sure it won't be too difficult tho... I guess.

I'm dying to read "The Picture of Dorian Gray" but I can't. I sleep, do homework, or eat, but never read. I'm such a fool.

I've been thinking that I should change my Instagram account already, follow all the people I actually see on my profile, and pray that my classmates don't find it.

I should block them all, honestly. Except for my friends. But I'm too lazy to do all that. But I'll do it someday.

Aaaaaaaaaa I'm tired. I really wanna go to sleep but I have to finish that goddamn homework. I cannot avoid it anymore. Well, I actually can procrastinate until tomorrow in the morning. I don't know.

I'll watch some TV and go to my room. Rest well.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮

PS: Okay I don't understand. I saw a picture of him at a party a few minutes ago. He looked... quite ugly, I'm gonna be honest here. I don't know if it was the lighting, the whole vibe, or if he's just horrific and I don't see it. I swear he looks better in real life. I have to admit, sometimes I think, "how on God's sacred Earth could I think that way?", and then I say, "oh my god, he's actually very handsome". I have some... peculiar taste.

That motherfucker never smiles for photos, apparently. I guess that's the proble. Come on, dude. Smile. I like it.

#fragile cosmos #fragile posts #diary #i love that song #bloom #it must be the best album ever #one of the best #7 is THE best #bloom is a close second #i like wearing necklaces too #and rings #i love rings #okay thats all #i love yall