#i'll probably delete this in the morning

[withacapitalp]

You know when you stay up too late and it's too late to take your meds so you just lie in bed and your brain is in hyperdrive needing to give a thousand different ideas.....yeah

#anyways ya boy is considering writing babys First smut fic #I'm. really fucking tired #always down for some asks 😂😂 #I'll probably delete this in the morning #and by the morning #I mean in like 4 hours #bc that's morning #lol not close to tears at all no soreee

[bpdamandayoung]

y'know what i literally thought i was a corpse but still living and i was recommended by a lovely doctor of psychology to go to a hospital to get the treatment i need but i fucking didn't bc i though a degree in environmental protection is more important than my health - i'm literally repeating the pattern i suffered so much for

#when my therapist told me i'm repeating that pattern i would spontaneously combust #but literally my whole childhood i was told 'if you don't have a fever you have got to school' and i still fucking did it in uni?? #like i felt my organs decay i could smell my flesh rotting and i still though meteorology was more important? bitcg what is wrong with you #and then i told my brother about us fucking doing the same thing our parents told us he just said 'fuck i didn't realize that bc it costed #me less than it costed you' #biting and howling AND maiming #depression and stuff #anyways i've been drinking feel free to ignore me if my posts don't make sense #i'll probably delete this in the morning

[asshole-nerd]

why must my brain find the motivation and ability to write and like do shit in general EXCLUSIVELY at like midnight

is it just like haha. sleep. fuck that.

#i think at this point #my circadian rhythms are like 3-4 hours later than they are for normal people #and like why can't i be creative when the sun's out #am i a vampire or smn #idk it's 1 in the morning #and i have evening routine to do #and i'm a lot sleepy #i'll probably delete this in the morning #but eh who cares

[falleraatje]

Day 1 of my trip and I'm already ugly crying in my room

#this was to be expected #it'd just been going too well so far #I'll probably delete this in the morning #don't mind me I just needed to scream into the void for a bit

[difeisheng]

yeah danmei is neat to have as a media genre dedicated to gay stories that is slowly becoming more mainstream and i recognize how important that is to people, but in terms of representation y'all also know that queer people defying gender and/or sexuality norms have always existed throughout chinese history and so to imply in discussions that modern-day media are the only times we've ever been significantly visible is weird at best right. right

#sorry this is so incredibly bitchy and I'll probably delete it in the morning but. ugjfjdjsksk #ashton originals

[yourhealingjournal]

like sometimes it's just it is what it is. it's not the most hopeful happy ending that most people would dream of, but i gotta accept that yeah maybe i'll struggle with this for the rest of my life, so i'll focus on doing something that makes me happy then. sometimes grief cannot be healed. sometimes things cannot be fixed. i'll carry this weight for a long time. i may never be able to put it down so i might as well make peace with it.

#re last post #radical acceptance #alexa insert that “is this x”? butterfly meme #idk i'll change tunes in the morning probably #fickle as it is but i just yeah this is where i'm at #this is what recovery looks like #might delete #rose.txt

[solarmorrigan]

Love having someone comment on one of my fics to bitch at me about how I've written a fandom trope that they hate when I have very clearly tagged that fic with that trope and made it very clear in the summary what's going on

My guy, I don't know what you expected. Literally no one is making you read this shit. Go away

#you want to give me constructive criticism? sure! #you want to yell about how you're tired of seeing people write this particular trope and you don't like it because [x]? no. #that's not constructive that's you letting off steam. that's you complaining and offering no solution. no one asked you for that #just like no one asked you to read my stupid story #sorry I'll probably be mortified I made a vague blogging post in the morning and delete this #blah blah text blah

[y-vna]

Ty for 400!

It may be 1:30am, but honestly, I just felt like I wanted to write this. Thank you for 400 followers!! That's crazy. I'm super thankful, and honestly, it means a lot to me! <3 super excited for more to come, I hope my moodboards rn are up to standards!

I'm not tagging anyone this time since I don't want to disturb everyone every time I write one of these. Just know all my mooties and idols r amazing, and I love them. You guys know who you are, ily 💕

Just a boring text post for this milestone post cuz I can't be bothered rn ahh

Teeny Itty bitty vent in tags since I can't get my life tghtr rn erm! Don't feel pressured to read it, idrc ig?? 😭😭

#lil vent i will most def regret in the morning #im not quitting just tired ig? social media and my lack of motivation r just dragging me thru the mud brutally and thats why im slow postin #i literally cannot handle seeing pepple from discord that despise me from when i used to gossip and a bunch of stuff on there #im gonna prob delete the song req stuff in my inbox. im so done w it. js like the event prizes #i want to still provide the full prizes #but its so much work and im unmotivated so ill do it eventually :( #i dont rlly think ill makr an event anyrime soon cuz it kind sucks aaahh #my moots nd friends on here the only reason i havent quit bc im burnt out by myself i only live off the interactions i have on here #i dont know what else to say i just wanna like forget any accounts on anywhere from me every existed cuz im not a good decision maker at al #i'll be normal in the morning probably hahaaha #tysm for the support anyway

[silas-is-sleepy]

One of the biggest differences in the dsmp vs qsmp storyline (purely story line and lore) is that. In the dsmp there was no hope in the end. There only could ever have been a bittersweet ending, a double edged sword, a moving on but never truely healing. There was only wars and trauma and hatred. Everyone separated, there was no family anymore there was no love, no friends. The only somewhat happy ending i can think of was a Wilbur going back 'home' to Utah after apologizing to as many people as he could. There was no chance for a truely happy ending. It was all pain and angst and one final hurrah. However on the qsmp. At least for now. There is always some form of hope. When felps got kidnapped, Cellbit was going insane looking for him and others supported and helped him during it, there was always love there. When Cellbit got kidnapped himself, so many others looked for him and banded together. There is always love, family, hope. The residents trust each other, no one is left out, at least not intentionally. Even now, with that trust being tested, there are still laughs and joy. they made one of the NPCs into an actual character, they gave Walter bob his name, his clothes, even a face. He is cared for so much now. There is of course horrors, and traumas, and loss, but there is Love and Hope mixed in. It is balanced. When charlie lost juanaflippa, when quackity lost tilín, when max lost trump, there were people there for them, wether they realized it or not. When the eggs started dying and being attacked by codes and the island itself seemed like it was trying to kill them, Forever created N.I.N.H.O, a safe haven. Everyone trys so hard to stay together and united because they know it's them against the island, them against The Federation, and they don't stand a chance alone. But even then it's not only out of necessity, it's out of Care. There will always be hope. There will always be love. Ultimately, despite The Horrors, the qsmp is about connections, love, and hope. It's cheesy but it makes all the difference.

#i don't know if this makes sense #its so late and I have work in the morning but I had to get this out there #i love the qsmp so much #silas speaks #qsmp #I'll edit this or delete it in the morning probably #it will always be about love #long post #i think at least #idk if I'm remembering it all right I'll double check in the morning #I've been thinking Abt this for too long i need to get it out so I can sleep

[tmntkiseki]

Actually, going back to yesterday's topic of TMNT 2003 and it's lack of romantic subplots with the turtles themselves, I think this is the part where I mention that TMNT 2003 actually came into my life at just the perfect time?

So a little over a year ago, I ended my first serious relationship as an adult. I don't like talking about my ex too much even now, but we were together for over five years and after the break up, the next several months were spent stewing in a boiling pot of rage, sadness, and regret. I wanna say all my negative feelings towards my ex and our relationship peaked during May - July 2023 and didn't simmer down until around autumn, which coincidentally was about when I started watching TMNT 2003. (I'm also convinced that a lot of the stress from the breakup led to some of the minor-yet-concerning health problems I've been dealing with over the last several months, but I have no way of proving that.)

One of the big problems is that, at the time I broke up with my ex, I tended to watch/play a lot of romance-focused media. Under normal circumstances, I'd still be able to regularly engage with a lot of the shows and video games I normally do without being becoming a bitter ball of anguish. Unfortunately, within a couple of months of breaking up with ex, games I used to love like Rune Factory 4 Special or shows like Snow White with the Red Hair became absolutely unbearable play/watch because of all the negative feelings I had towards my ex. If a love interest wasn't reminding me of my ex with certain...behaviors, I was looking at a relationship onscreen and thinking to myself "Why couldn't we be like that?" It was a nightmare.

Fast forward (lmao) to... god, when did I start watching TMNT 2003? I wanna say I started watching it either late August or early September? The pipeline of how I ended up watching TMNT 2003 is a weird one, but there were a couple of things that stuck out to me when I first started watching it. For starters, even though it was a Western cartoon, there were certain quirks about it that reminded me of the anime I usually watch (namely the fight choreography and being so heavily plot-focused rather than episodic in its storytelling) and I found myself gravitating towards it because of that alone. And I just love the characters. The turtles themselves are incredibly well-rounded with their own strengths and flaws, and the supporting cast and antagonists make the world feel very alive and lived-in. (I personally can't get over how half the time the turtles aren't even attempting to get into trouble; they usually just end up walking into the plot of the week purely by accident.)

But besides that, as I mentioned in my other post, even though there are a couple of romantic subplots in the show, most notably the April/Casey one that spans pretty much the entire series, the turtles themselves never end up entering a serious relationship with anyone. The closest we ever get to romance with one of the turtles is Don's one-sided crush on April, which was never going to go anywhere on account of her being an adult and ending up with Casey, and I wanna say the crush is almost entirely dropped by midway through Season 3. Beyond that, the turtles are never shown becoming physically attracted to anyone and all their important relationships--Splinter, April, Casey, Klunk, Leatherhead, Honeycutt, Sydney, Angel, the Professor, the Justice Force, Traximus, the Daimyo, Usagi, Gen, Renet, the Ancient One, the Acolytes, Cody, Serling, and Starlee--are all strictly platonic. And you know what? That's okay by my book.

It is a fact that society regularly insists that the key to happiness is finding your One True Love and places more emphasis on romantic relationships than platonic ones. I personally don't want to die alone, but at this point in my life, I don't need a romantic relationship to be happy--in fact, I think being in a relationship would just complicate things when I'm still getting my shit together as is. When you look at Leo, Raph, Don, and Mikey within the context 2003, I cannot recall a single moment where one of them complains about how their status as a one-of-a-kind mutant turtle means they'll probably never land a partner and as far as I can tell, they seem perfectly happy as is. They have each other, they have Splinter, April and Casey are there too, Klunk, all their other friends--really, what would giving one of the boys a love interest do for them? The answer; not all that much, honestly. In fact, I feel like the risk of giving any of the 2003 turtles a love interest far outweighs the reward.

Now, mind you, I don't think it's impossible to give one of the 2003 turtles a serious love interest--in fact, I have a lot of thoughts about how it could be done right--and that it actually would be something worth exploring in a reboot/sequel series that'll likely never happen, but again, I don't think that TMNT 2003 suffers for the lack of turtle romances and is perfectly fine as is. 2003!Leo, Raph, Don, and Mikey are very lovable characters and are able to have fulfilling relationships without any of them being romantic in nature and I think that's a good message to send to people, whether you're a young kid or a grown adult. Romance is great, but so is a crushing bear hug from your three brothers, your rat dad, and the two humans you adopted.

#star's turtle talk #Happy Easter I spent my morning typing up this dumb ramble that I'll probably delete later #Ignore me

[starsnores]

i don't usually talk about important stuff here bc idk it feels disrespectful between all the fandom posts and it doesn't feel like it would help at all but every new thing i see about Palestine i don't think there are really words to describe how awful it is.

#idk i'll probably delete in the morning bc like i said feels weird and disrespectful to me but free Palestine

[drunkenskunk]

So, I was getting ready for bed, as I am Old™, and I have work tomorrow at Oh God Why The Fuck Am I Awake O'Clock. I looked at myself in the mirror, I realized: this is the look I was going for when I was designing Scarlet, my character in the Lancer game I'm currently in.

Hair tied back in a ponytail with loose frizzy bits along the edges, heavy bags under the eyes, the tired expression of a suicidally depressed alcoholic, faint scar across the nose from when it got broke that one time.

That is exactly the look I was trying to convey. Except my art skills are... y'know... kinda crap.

Also, I don't have red hair.

And Scarlet doesn't have disgusting, unshaven stubble.

And I'm not a mech pilot.

And... well.

Yeah.

#Lancer RPG #In Golden Flame #I don't know why I'm posting this thought #I certainly don't know what that last line is supposed to represent #Definitely no unexamined feelings or thoughts going on here #Which is technically correct #Just not ready to admit it in public #So obviously I'm going to post a picture of the face I hate with some easily decipherable thoughts in the tags for anyone to see #No sir nothing to see here officer #These aren't the droids you're looking for #I'll probably delete this in the morning when I think better of it #But the damage will almost certainly be done by then #Oh well

[nebulouscoffee]

genuine question does anyone know what to do when you feel like a nervous breakdown is coming? like is there a solid reliable way to stop it or at least prevent it from getting really bad

#dw I'm okay at the moment... I think #distracting myself by making a playlist lol #but I had one earlier this week & I'm still kind of scared from it #literally couldn't move or talk or do anything for the whole day #like my phone ran out of charge early on & if you'd paid me a hundred dollars I wouldn't have been able to go charge it #I know this is a regular occurrence for some ppl ofc (much love if that's you <3) but I'm not at all used to this so it's a bit scary #it's late. I want to go to sleep. I've been missing out on sleep all week #but I'm literally up worrying that I'll have another messed up nightmare & it'll start off another one of these things ugh #probably gonna delete this in the morning but for now would happily take advice <3

[tiger-music]

So I'm a Wisconsin resident and I was just on my way to the checkout minding my business when I see this fucking thing and I just-

You can not tell me that Vladimir 'Tried to buy the Packers several times unsuccessfully' Masters would not have this. And I'm staring at this stupid novelty game in the middle of Walmart already thinking of fic ideas involving said stupid novelty game.

Did I buy it? No, because I was with my Adult™ & I could not justify buying it. Do I regret it? Yes, solely for the meme potential this could have had. Do I blame the dc x dp tag for the absolute brainrot that has consumed me to want a stupid boardgame that I have no reason to have because I have no one to play it with? Also yes.

Which brings me to my ideas! Horrible, should never see the light of day ideas because they're stupid but I can't get them to leavee alone so now othersust suffer with me.

Would Vlad just happen to have it along with all his other novelty shit or would someone have given it to him? If it's the latter, who? Anyone from team Phantom would give it to him solely to rub in his face that he'll never have anyone to play it with because he's a lonely, old fruitloop. Jack would get it for him so they could bond or something.

And I got a scene. I got a scene that if someone draws, I don't know what I'll do, probably cry cause oh my gods

Vlad (+team Phantom) vs. Bruce (+batclan). Both sides need to prove something (I have no clue what it , it's up to your imagination) and for some reason they thought monopoly would be the best way to prove it. And the absolute crack potential this has makes me giggle.

#danny phantom #dc x dp #first time I'm contributing to this tag #and it's for something as stupid as this #let the shenanigans begin! #I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense I'm fighting ADHD scramble brain and cold medicine trying to knock me out #I'll probably regret this in the morning and delete it #who knows! #issue for future me

[torifuckingspring]

this sounds dumb but i like tumblr a lot bc it gives me something to do and my thoughts somewhere to go and people knowing my name and people feeling like me and idk

#i'm really tired #i'll probably delete this later #or in the morning #lol i hate myself

[fairytales-and-folklore]

.

#are you serious #did I really just spend the past month dealing with a horrible cold #bookended by two horrible periods #only to catch ANOTHER ONE this morning #this is some bullshit #I have so many projects I want to work on 😭 #personal vent I'll probably delete later but I needed to shout into the void for a minute