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lolosaclone · 4 months

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I just finished clone high season 3 and

I don't really know what to say at the moment, but to be honest, I loved watching it, I mean I've put my alarm at 6am and had to wait few more hours to finally have a chance to watch even the first ep, SO OF COURSE I HAD TO AT LEAST LIKE WATCHING IT,,, but at the end I did it so yay me, but yeah after waiting for what like felt forever (I was counting the days istg), I feel so happy,,, it's obv not the best thing on earth but it made my day and night

SPOILERS ‼️ BELOW THE CUT (screenshots n text)

cracked at this moment at the sudden singing

he's like me fr (pinky thing)

i cried when I saw this

,,,

i just found joan pretty on this angle, makes me wanna draw her

jfk

christopher columbus

!random rant text (not following the episodes orders):

/I'll "probably" change this part of my post later, I'm just writing what I remember the most rn/

almost forgot, the eyes thing. WOW,,,

Mary, Abe's gf, being Bloody Mary got me holy moly at the moment

I really didn't except joan and confucius to actually stay together, thought it would be for an ep only (thanks to the one who reposted my other post, if u see this hi :3) ,, and when I thought I was dreaming when the trailer dropped, turns out they're cute in my opinion, actually liked them 😭

frida and cleo breaking up got me devasted like 💔💔

Now the cliffhanger is KILLING me.

overall, Confucius became officially one of my fav with topher, lovely!

I finished watching the last ep and writing this post at 4am, don't except this post to make any sense yet, but, trust me, i'm invested. (in my head that is)

#clone high #clone high fandom #clone high season 3 #clone high joan #clone high jfk #clone high abe #clone high cleo #clone high harriet tubman #clone high frida #clone high confucius #clone high topher #topher bus #clone high spoilers #ranting #lolosaclone

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martyrmystik · 3 months

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I think Tumblr needs to know about my dumbass Poppy Playtime AU I literally JUST made today so uhm... Here's the AU I've been hyperfixating on-

More information under the cut!

This is the first half of the Smiling Critters references (I loved making their designs omg)

Basically to summarize why they are a significant part in this AU:

This is an AU where the Smiling Critters survive, using anything and everything they can to continue to do so. It's a small resistance group (hence the AU name, "RESISTANCE") trying to fight against The Prototype! They still have their dynamics and everything else but they have more freedom to express themselves (hence, the clothes and accessories. And how Kickin' Chicken is wearing two bandana's because yes, he is extra.) AFTER the events of The Hour of Joy. By that time they were like what? 1st-2nd graders considering the experiments that were done? Now they are more like teenagers in this AU since I still follow the plot-line of the actual Poppy Playtime story taking place 10 years later-.

As for how the group works, everybody has their own little role and is in charge of something, they aren't made useless as it is a group based off of teamwork and friendship (despite the casualties.) Here's some of the roles they fall into:

(IF I SEE ANYBODY SEXUALIZE THESE CHARACTERS ISTG. THATS ICKY AND GROSS and I will make sure you get smited by lightning, because even if these guys are aged up THEY ARE STILL MINORS!!!)

Kickin Chicken: The vice president if you will, the leaders right hand man. (Because Dogday is the leader.) He's kind of full of himself but the confidence and pep talks help the team keep motivated, even if he is a bit self-centered

Bobby Bearhug: Assistant to Kickin Chicken (although they have a rivalry.) and also the medic. Is also the one who helps Dogday with anything considering in this AU he still has half of him torn off. (More on Dogday in his own section sometime later)

Hoppy Hopscotch: Basically explores the facility in any area at any time to gather new information on ways to try and get out (all of them are actively looking to escape btw!)

Craftycorn: Maps out stuff (maps, plans, other things) using her drawing abilities, although she also acts as the therapist friend because her art is soothing to others.

Bubba Bubbaphant: THE LITERAL. EMBODIMENT. OF. THE NERD EMOJI. He is a actual know-it-all which can come in handy but that makes him seem like a dick sometimes because of his knowledge.

Picky Piggy: I don't really have anything important to add to her, since I want to keep some of her lore a secret [might be revealed through the ask page I just set up for the AU on my page] HOWEVER she is the chef of the group and is literally the only one that can cook, if anybody else tried they'd all get food poisoning LMAO.

Here's some extra things in this AU that won't go in my other posts about this AU (maybe):

(So take notes if you want.)

- Catnap is redeemed, but it takes a VERY long time for him to get out of "old habits" as I'm going to word it. (Without spoiling too much of what I have planned.)

- I don't know what to plan for The Prototype yet but I'm talking with a couple of my mutuals on discord so maybe I'll figure it out eventually

- Dogday can normally stand and do other things because of the belts he has, however he can't put them on for too long (for like at max, more than 4 hours a day.) because they will wear into the plush, and he needs to put the belts on tight or they will come loose. He only uses such method when the group goes to hunt for food or similar activities, otherwise, he just uses a wheelchair when in the groups safe environment (the Playhouse!)

- This is going to be a shock to some people, but there is NO player character in this AU, not only is this a what if the Smiling Critters survived, but it's also a what if the player character never returned to Playtime Co.! This does come with some issues, like on how the asks are going to work, but trust me, I got everything taken care of when it comes to that!

- There also isn't really any shipping in this AU at all, I'm focusing on the story/friendship dynamics more than that, so if somehow you were looking for Dogday X Catnap this is, unfortunately not the place for that.

- This AU also has the personal interpretation of Dogday being part of the experiments some of the orphanage kids faced, as I don't really vibe with the idea that Dogday might be a Playtime Co. worker??? I don't know, I'm sticking with my idea for now but I will be keeping a close eye on canon if anything confirms or denies it, and I may adjust the AU accordingly if that's the case.

- Future posts may or may not contain other Poppy Playtime characters but the main focus is the Smiling Critters and The Prototype.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

References of Dogday and Catnap are already done but I may wait a bit on Tumblr to see how well this AU is being received :)

(I spent 6 hours on all references in total 😭😭😭)

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thealexisreal · 2 months

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suddenly i am very into that's not my neighbor

i know i post on this hellsite once a millenia but take my sillyguys

(BLOOD WARNING ON SECOND IMAGE)

and uhhh

GUY WITH RED BASEBALL CAP: Garrett Clivesdale, baseball player before the doppelganger crisis who used to play for a team known as the Red Marksmen. Cocky bastard. Full of himself. Fuck him. He's pretty nice if you're on his good side and if you can tolerate how much he yaps though. he's super overconfident though he fails sm. also he's in desperate need for a redesign he's giving mix of pokemon trainer and y2k skater twink 🥹🥹🥹

GUY ON A NEARLY EMPTY DOODLE PAGE i forgot how to draw ice picks: Espen Solheim, former news anchor. (probably worked with izaack because in fanon no one can hear you scream.) His lore is incomplete, however it is established he was given a lobotomy, why he's still in the apartment I still have to write that. He's extremely co-dependent though and when getting checked before he enters the complex he's usually accompanied by someone, mainly Cole (whose role i am still working on, my garrett bias is so evident istg) since they were close friends before or his mother. the doodles are a mix of him pre and post lobotomy though it's kinda hard to tell the difference. if he shows proper emotion it's probably him as a doppelganger

i'll post more of these guys eventually though im more hesitant about espen considering i'll have to do more research on lobotomy and actually develop his backstory so baseball man for days i guess

#that's not my neighbor #tnmn #tnmn oc #thats not my neighbor #garrett is such a supportive friend trying out the scarlet milk for his bud

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gomzdrawfr · 1 month

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Hi! I was wondering if I should send this non-anon or not, but preferred to keep my identity a secret, I guess.

Dunno why but felt like saying this after seeing your posts. I was once a shipper in the fandom, liking both canon x canon and canon x oc ships, until I saw something that made me uncomfortable with the first of the two. That is until I've reached your account.

Sure, I was cautious with ship content (not that I'm saying it's a bad thing. Just made me kinda uncomfortable after that incident) but when I let my guard down and saw some of your posts, I realized that maybe not every shipper is as....uh...y'know the type of people I'm talking about right?

All I'm saying is...thank you. Because of your adorable posts (and the balance of both types of ships [canonxcanon and ocxcanon. I love PriceRaven so much istg]), I tried to look for artists like you. Thanks to you, I can also go and try to find artists similar to yours in context of shipping. And I did and I did not regret it (even if I don't ship anymore, but it was delightful to see the things people create now that I've...healed from it?).

I'm still trying to be careful in the fandom with the things going on. But seriously though, thanks a lot! If there's one thing this fandom needs is people like you. Ones who don't cause a fuss and also knows boundaries when shipping as well. No hate, no discomfort. If people say otherwise and hate on you because of shipping content, damn them. They should be grateful if anything as you did nothing wrong and just wanted to create what you wish.

Anyway, sorry for the long ask (end up ranting. Sorry bout that). But yeah, hope you have a great day! Maybe one day, if you allow me, I could sketch out Raven? If it's alright with you.

Thank you again!

hi!! thank you for the ask and hey no worries, you're welcome to rant in my ask or share your experience

Im sorry for what you went through, fandom often do come with its uhhh moments to say the least, im glad you've healed from it and is able to enjoy things the way they are at your own pace

its definitely good to curate your own space, adjust your settings and block out on things that are uncomfortable, even though there are still some things that will definitely pop up despite the cautious measures, but hey! shit happens and the most important thing is to understand that you're not alone in this, and take a rest from the media once in awhile

Im actually really touched that you find my page a nice place to visit ((yes PriceRaven is like my bread and butter I cant live without them and will yap about them forever)) which also lead you to other artists!

im straightforward, Im okay with almost anything interest wise in the fandom (ships/dynamic/fics genre etc), if im not okay with it i'll just move on or mute/block certain words, simple as it should be.

Although people do find my angst stuff "threatening" LMAO but eh im over it pft if they dont like it then its fine let them be

as the saying goes "no matter how perfect the apple is, someone will still hate it" so fuck it yk, it is what it is (my life motto and also blog's motto HAHA)

Thank you for your message though, Im really grateful for it and im genuinely happy, enjoy your stay here

AND OFC YOU CAN DRAW MY OC RAVEN!! FEEL FREE TO SEND IT TO ME ONCE YOU DID :D (take your time ofc dont mind the excited goofball i am)

have a good day as well!!

#i also end up writing this longer than i should oops anyways #curate your space people!!#gummmyspeaks #ask response #thanks for the ask <3

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todayisawthewhxlewxrld · 5 months

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So few hours later, took 5 MELATONIN MEDS and I'm STILL awake. What is this?? Like atp they must have been mints or smth, cause theres NO WAY I should still be AWAKKKKKEEEEKRKEKKEJSHSH. I actually got so bored that I painted the jjk betta fish and hung it on my wall. Thinking of drawing Choso again, because I'm BOREDUUHHH.

Tbh I love adding an uh at the end of words to be dramatic, like sometimes someone will say something to me and I just start going "NOUHHH." "YOU'RE SO LAMEUHH" "STOPUHH", it got to the point where I'm now TYPING IT OUT.

So about the fic earlier. I apologize once again for sharing that TRAGEDY with you, I read a GENUINE REGULAR fluff with Nanami, and started repairing my interest by watching clips of him, AND IT WORKED!!!

So pookistien, how have you been? 🤔 I realize that I never actually use the asks to ask things LMAO

RAHHHHHHHHHHH 👶🎐 yk?

I MIGHT SHUT MY EYES AND FORCE MYSELF TO SLEEP IN A MOMENT, so I just would like to say that it's AMAZING that you post consistently, and that each day your writing just amazes me. I wake up and immediately go "Omg time to check on Axels account 🤞😜" ALSOALSO

ALSO, HAVE YOU EVER ACCIDENTALLY MESS UP YOUR RECENT EMOJIS?? ISTG IT MAKES ME SOOOO MADDDDUHH. Sometimes I'll just spam emojis, and all of a sudden it'll click off my recents, then PROCEED TO ADD A BUNCH OF SUSPICIOUS ASS EMOJIS. LIKE HERE, EMOJIS I HAVE ACCIDENTALLY GATHERED TODAY :💦👅🔥😩🍌🌉👴🥒🍆🍎👶🍋" LIKE HELLO?? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WAS A LEMON EMOJI?? OTHERWISE I WOULD HAVE BREN SIGNING OFF WITH IT SMFH.

And like ITS THE ABSOLUTE WORST WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT EMOJIS I USE OFTEN, UNTIL I GO TO USE IT AND THEN IT TURNS INTO A HUNT TO FIND IT. 😭

OKAY. CLOSING MY EYES NOW.

XOXO 👽(🍋??)

melatonin is just candy atp like i swear it doesn’t even work

to be dramatic is to be free i support adding uhhh to the end of ur words!

god bless u found the fluff u were looking for🙏 all is right in the world 🙏

LMFAO ITS FINE U DONT HAVE TO ASK THINGS TO USE THE ASK OPTION I LUV HAVING CONVOS OR JUST HEARING ABOUT UR DAY OR SMTH !

i hope u actually fell asleep this time 🙏🙏 AND THANK UUUU if i didnt post consistently id probably explode

yes… i fear i do that all the time when trying to look for an emoji i like or smth so i start pressing random ones n then they r all messed up sigh.

SLEEP WELL!

#axel answers ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★#axel answers// 👽

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bunnimew · 9 months

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How did you start writing on ao3? What was the learning process like, formatting and etc?

Hi Anon!!

Writing on AO3, honestly, was a dream, because both of us started on ffnet, and posting to ffnet is exhausting. In comparison, AO3 is easy as pie. Kam and I actually met because we were both authors of X/1999 fic on ffnet. Someone put all the authors they knew into one giant AIM chatroom and the rest is history 😂

But that was back in high school, sometime around 2005. Kam primarily draws/paints, and really only wrote one (1) thing. I wrote a handful of short fics, tried to write regularly, but just could not keep it up through college. Idk if you've got a physics degree, but it kind of takes a lot of mental energy and there was nothing left for writing for fun. I managed, like... istg like 3 short fics early in college (And they went on lj, lawl) and then nothing for years.

Somewhere in there, I started reading on AO3. I consume fanfic like it's an Olympic sport. Eventually I got an account.

And then, one day, I just got tired of not writing. Instead of saying that classic, "If only I had the time..." I decided to make the time. I looked up tips on writing. Took a glance at the writing shelf in the library, and read Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. Took actual notes. Applied them. This was around 2015.

The biggest thing really is making it a habit. Even if you just stare at a screen, putting the time into staring at it makes a difference. But Anne had another tip that revolutionized my process: writing advantageously. I don't only write when I make the time; I'll stop in the middle of the grocery store and write down an idea if I have it. I write anywhere and everywhere.

In 2019, a good friend of mine hit me with a new technique that changed everything again: word tracking. I use Tris' word tracking spreadsheet every year now and it doubled my output in 2019 and has increased steadily through 2022.

And 2022 had an insane output, because I unlocked another new skill: writing out of order. I used to have to write chronologically, but now I've figured out how to not do that, and I managed that illusive 50k in one month last year.

So what was my learning process like? A whole lot of trial and error. Sometimes tips didn't work out, but I kept trying everything. Sometimes I had to try them more than once, as I grew as a writer. Writing out of order didn't work for me until I figured out how to make it work for me. Shitty first drafts also didn't work for me, until I found a half-way method that does work for me. If every author out there tells you the same trick, chances are it's a good trick. But tricks take practice and time to get good at them. I had to be patient with myself, and I had to keep at it, one bird at a time.

Grant Faulkner's Pep Talks for Writers has an excellent anecdote that boils down to: write more things. We like to get caught up in trying to make our projects perfect, but we learn more by just finishing it up and moving onto the next. Sometimes you need to learn from the next project before you can figure out what's wrong with the first. Some stories will just never be that great. And it's okay. Don't get stuck. Write more things.

“if you are writing the clearest, truest words you can find and doing the best you can to understand and communicate, this will shine on paper like its own little lighthouse. Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”

― Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird

So thank you, Anon ❤ and I hope something in all of that was what you were looking for.

PS, if you write on gdocs and don't like removing all those extra spaces between paragraphs when you copy to AO3, just change the gdocs spacing to 'add space before paragraph' + 'add space after paragraph' and that'll make it match AO3. Only real formatting tip I've used 😂

#Ask #writing

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marshmallowprotection · 10 months

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Heya, Kait! Been a while, huh? A lot has happened honestly. I started to post some of my art here, even though I'm not that motivated to do digital art much-

I don't want to make this too long but I've actually gotten way more comfortable with self-shipping with the second character I told you about! I'd like to tell you a bit about him, too. His name is Yatora Yaguchi, he is from Blue Period!

Recently I've actually gotten a bit more better at my art and even a bit more confident all thanks to this media and especially Yatora. His experiences with art made me feel seen because I relate so much to how he feels and the way he learns more about art had opened my eyes in so much stuff about art as well. I'd love to ramble about how much Yatora means to me but it's gonna be extremely long, honestly.

He is a very emotional and insecure guy deep inside and he tries his best with art and even to have good relationships with the people around him, even if he doesn't fully agree with them. He is friendly and I love his appearance a lot. The fact he cries easily and blushes very easily makes me appreciate him even more, he's so cool istg- I find how hard he works very admirable and so much stuff about him.

I still tend to focus on Saeyoung as well sometimes but my main focus is Yatora for now. Although, I do want to focus more on the redhead, Saeyoung has also helped me through a lot in my life and I feel grateful for both him and Yatora.

I tried redoing Saeyoung's route once more and I still feel myself loving this precious redhead. I just wish I could focus on the both of them equally. Even if I could do a crossover between the two, I'm not really sure about it so I just imagine two different versions of myself in their worlds.

But I am kinda sad there's not a lot of fics, fanart (ngl it's mostly ship art even though there's.. no romance in the actual series) and other stuff of Yatora. At least we have an anime of this series and a lot of manga panels of this boy, even official merch and more but I can always write self-inserts or even random prompts I find online. Even though the manga is still ongoing, I'm thinking of not doing many self-inserts with Yatora yet. I do wanna see the whole story fully before inserting myself into it. Though I know it's gonna take months, even years.

Other stuff.. I'm at my grandma's! I'm still kinda sad I can't use a bike because it has some problems, we still have cats, chickens, actual ground outside I can walk for a while and even going to the beach by my uncle's car. And I won't lie, it feels.. lonely a lot here? I don't do much during the day, sure I draw here and there but that's it mostly.

The people that used to come out to play with balls and even ride their bikes aren't really here anymore. They grew up and stopped coming. So I'm just trying to get through the days as much as I can.

And one thing that actually happened recently.. remember when I named you after a Snow Wraith, Kait? Sadly, the game shut down a while ago. And the thing is that it actually shut down the exact same day I came at my grandma's. I don't mind that I wasn't on at the last moments of this game but man, it's still something.

It's insane how all my dragons must be at the hidden world by now. I actually started that account when I was here at my grandma's. So the game ending the same day I finally came at my grandma's makes me feel some type of way.

I actually used to play that game for at least 7+ years and then settled on working on one account, no matter how long it took, which was this one. I actually had most dragons but them making everything free at the end which allowed me to get everything and get them to the max instantly felt kinda.. off.

So for 2-3 days. I flew around with every single one of my dragons, fed them fully and took off their saddles before saying goodbye. I took screenshots of every single one of them, too. It feels weird but this game was really fun sometimes.

I think I'll end my rambling here, I'd love to send asks about Yatora and Saeyoung and ramble about them. Yatora gets really flustered just like our redhead Saeyoung and it's making me smile a lot. Although at Yatora's side, he isn't exactly a dude who teases someone else or flirts. I love how even though Yatora and Saeyoung have some similarities, they are still different.

I hope you have been well, Kait. I miss sending asks, haha. Please let me know how you are, I'd love to know and catch up with you!

Hello, hello! I'm happy to hear that you're doing better. I'm sorry that your favorite dragon game shut down its servers. I've had two games do that this year and it really bites. It definitely makes me wish there was a way to get tangible offline versions of our favorite games so it would never be lost, but that's a tough bargain in our society. All that leaves us with is the memories, and that's not too bad, because we'll always have those.

I don't know anything about Blue Period but I've seen the art before and it looks pretty! I think it's great when you find a character who's capable of reaching you and showing you something that you didn't know about yourself until you dove into the story. Like, it's important to have those experiences with characters, regardless of if we love it or not.

Sometimes, you need a hard mirror to look at instead of a soft way. I feel that way about some characters. As much as I love growth from tenderness, damn, sometimes we need a smack in the face to see a new angle we never imagined before, you know what I mean? I get it from the strangest places! So, yeah. It's not weird.

When it comes to tying to your different loves together, there is no right or wrong way. I definitely enjoy crossovers where I can find the best way to see myself with all my favorite characters, or at least, two of them because I love world-building and seeing where that goes...

I am just that kind of person, though! I can't tell you how interesting it is to have my brain debate the best way to tie together Obey Me and Mystic Messenger or Mystic Messenger and Tears of Themis or what have you!

I'd love to hear you babble about your new love whenever you get the chance to! I've got a lot of free time and I love talking to my buddies online about everything, not just MM.

So, if you get the urge out of the blue, just send me an ask!

If you're doubtful of that working out, though, don't worry about trying to tie them all together, friend. You don't need to tie those universes together if it's hard or you're getting comfort in different ways from each character. Not everything has to unite, sometimes you just need to have things pushed apart!

I'm doing alright these days. Some days are tough, some days are easier, and some are in the middle. Pain flares have been more often these days, though. It makes it hard to write so I'm not putting out as much as I want, but hey, health comes first and that's just how it is. I can't nudge myself into exhaustion. Saeran wouldn't like that and it's that fact that keeps me taking care of myself. Cheesy, but it works, I think that's a good thing.

Right now, I'm working on some self-care. I want to put out another installment in my self-insert series with Ray... I've got the plot set up and I'm so close to getting things where I want them to be.

#stormflypirateskin #ask #mod kait

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qinxiin · 4 years

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Being a Fanartist

Note: I'm not attention-seeking or anything, this is just a vent. Feel free to skip <3

I noticed that people follow me for my fanarts and that I gain quite a lot of attention (ultimately on IG) bcs of them. On one hand, I feel super grateful for it, knowing that you guys enjoy the art I create. But on the other hand, i feel a little... Guilty (?)

Because it seems like i'm using someone else's character & story instead of my own.

And also, i feel like i "couldn't escape" the fandom(s) i'm in because once i do, i'd lose a lot of attention (especially because i'm known in a certain fandom). Note: I'm not saying that i'm going to leave though.

If some of you notice, i've started to draw more of other fandom's fanarts (and even some original art). I tried getting out of my comfort zone although my insight would drop real fast.

Call me addicted but I keep monitoring the numbers and they actually do affect my performance. Lately, i get kinda stressed out and my insecurity kicks in because a lot of people unfollowed me after those posts.

No matter how hard i tried nor how much time i spent, nothing actually worked. I treasure each and every engagement (likes, comments, and reshares) i get on the new ones, and start to not care abt the engagements i get on the fandom related posts. Everything felt numb for a moment.

Now i get why people say that fanarts are the highway to popularity. I feel like im cheating bcs there are actually a LOT of underrated artists that are better than i am. That's where i started to doubt myself. I couldn't help but think,

"Am I actually good enough? Do I even deserve this much attention..?"

Yes i do get it, i also follow artists for their fandom related contents sometimes, and unfollow some when they don't post them anymore. That's why i couldn't blame anyone

I didn't want you guys to be disappointed at me.

There were some points where i kinda forced myself to make fanarts and eventually "got sick of it", so i took a break from drawing at all. I got back because i know that some of you wanted to see more of my art and i don't want to leave you hanging, too.

But either way

I'm still proud of being a fanartist because i get to improve my art a lot and meet people who share the same interest i do. You encourage me to work on my art even more, i wouldn't have gotten here if it weren't for you guys. Each and every words you say are the reason why i'm still here.

Y'all are the best istg, huge thanks to those who have been here since the beginning (i might as well mention them but i don't wanna make this post too long haha). And also to those who follow me merely for my art!! 🙌

Wow, you made it till the end!! I'm super grateful, tysm!! I'm happy that i could at least be a part of your day. I want to be your inspiration and also the reason why you're still fighting. Now, i let me say:

Thank you so much for supporting me ✨

I'll keep on improving for you, just you wait!

- Qin ❤

#art vent

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bigpeepee · 5 years

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LISTEN let me tell you about this girl I have a humongous crush on, then I'll delete this post and probably won't mention her again bc she might fins out my blog tomorrow and she MUST NOT KNOW

But I have to talk about her at least once bc i've never had such a big crush on anyone

I met her at a piano course, it's like a group lab in the place where I study singing. And the moment I saw her I was struck. I'm not gonna say "love at first sight" because love is a big word, but there's an expression in Italian (I don't know if it's used in this sense in English as well) which means "thunderstruck" and it's quite fitting.

It wasn't just attraction (though goddamn was she hot) but I had this feeling that there was something about her, and that she was going to be important. I don't know, it was a strange feeling, I had never had it before. By the end of the lesson I was almost in shock because

She was hot. Like, it's not the most important or interesting part but she was. Androgynous, sidecut, tattoo on her arm, lip piercing... Ashsgshdhh god help me and my gay ass

Great music taste, and it's not easy to find a girl that's into similar genres as me

She D R A W S. That day I only found out she had a drawing tablet, but later I found out she's studying at the comics academy. And also that I love her style A LOT

Now, she gave me MAJOR gay vibes, but the fuck do I know, I didn't know any other gay person irl so my gaydar is practically non existent. And I HAD TO find out. While I waited for her to say something or at least for a chance to drop a hint to the fact that I like girls I get to know her a bit more. Which is great and awful at the same time because damn she's amazing?? And I still don't know if I have a chance??? Nice

And then she says it!!!! Except, she says "my girlfriend". So after a moment of oh my god she's gay i realised oh fuck she has a girlfriend.

So yeah, no hope for me. But they're actually kind of adorable as far as I can tell so it's been easier to accept it. And to be honest, she's so amazing that I'm just glad I got to meet her. Do I wish we could be more? Yes. But knowing her and being friends is more than enough luck for me. Which we kind of are (friends, I mean) though not close yet but hopefully one day?

It's just, we have so much in common and I can be 100% myself. She's the one who dragged me back into bagginshield hell. We send each other bagginshield gifs and that's almost all we've been talking about lately and she's the only person I can talk about this kind of things. Like, ships and stuff... I was soooo scared of mentioning fanfiction because I had never admitted reading ff to anyone before, and I was like what if it's too much even for her, but she got all excited and begged me to send her the links to the fics I was talking about. And she's making some fanart and showed me a couple of sneak peeks and I can't wait to see the finished results bc they looked so good I could cry. Is she even real?????

So yeah, I felt like talking about her bc maybe some of my old friends here might be interested, and also she's basically the reason I'm back on tumblr, and also she's just so amazing that I wanted to gush about her a bit.

It's kind of weird that I'm talking about her on valentine's day but istg it's a coincidence, it's just that she might find out my tumblr tomorrow (I actually lowkey hope so) so I have to delete this before then. But yeah. Gonna shut up now.

#oh also she said she wanted to make a couple cosplay with her gf #with her as thorin and her gf as bilbo #but her gf wants to be thranduil and i'm like agdjagajsgajgdj #we joked a lot about what a terrible betrayal that is and how elves are the worst #and then her gf took her phone and started saying 'i'm ur king and u must respect me' and stuff #it was so much fun tbh #but also that's so unfair bc i am bilbo and i've wanted to cosplay as bilbo for years #istg life is just mocking me at this point #and u want to know the ultimate mocking from the universe?#her gf's name is federica too #adhshjkddhj i wanna die #ok i'm gonna shut up for real now #personal #delete later #scar

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