#i'd be like 'ok get out of my house you fucking weirdo.' but that's just me lol

[partysheart-archived]

the fandom loves to be like ‘j/on is the president of the m/ike w/heeler h/ate club!!!’ and i’m sitting here like......y’all know how sad/pathetic that would be for an 18/19 year old to hate his little brother’s best friend just for being oblivious to his little bro’s feelings? that shit happens all the time. please.

#i really need to stay out of the tags i stg lmao #imagine how awkward family gathering would be under the assumption that jon and nance and still together. like- 'hey nance; i love you but i #hate your little brother so much that i made a club out of it bc he won't date my little brother. disgusting of him really.' if i were nancy #i'd be like 'ok get out of my house you fucking weirdo.' but that's just me lol #&&. ooc.

[dinobotisland]

anyway siffrin putme in the sscary world x2 this loop (the ghosts) and also,

loop 20 -

-oh siffrin is not fine

-loop is not a star… uh huh…. "more like a mirror" huh

-loop in disbelief that we saw the change god?

-talking to the head housemaiden is something that keeps you from advancing somehow hmm…

-what goal is impossible though… everyone seems happy?

-I GET TO HANG OUT WITH LOOP? YES. "i'm lonely!"

-loop stop being so judgemental siffrin is literally bad memory georg of course he needs the coin to remember

-"do you think i'm supposed to be here?!" uh oh, oh loop is stuck here huh. lied just so siffrin wouldn't question it. no home to go back to.

-i think the only person who could understand is siffrin…

-ok so loop's event might take up the rest of the day like isa's? ig i can do the rest and skip him for now ?

-HELP DID I VISIT LOOP TOO MANY TIMES IN A LOOP? HELP

-ahhhhh secret tutorial is just for the showing loop items thing i already know about bc i tried it instantly with the star leaf

-spend a loop with loop… lol

-loop knew siffrin before they even met… yeah checks out. they know so much. "kind of" ? i don't believe you, fucker.

-LOL i did think loop was trapping sif here. but i'm not sure anymore

-loop knows how it feels to be stuck somewhere with no hope of escape… were they in a timeloop too?

-both siffrin and loop said "i'd rather not" when asked to tell more about themself…. hmmmmmmm…

-HOLY SHIT. that's so bright… the king's attack????

-SIF just drew their weapon on loop? omg?

-wait that's true… sif just looped back… bc they realized their friends died… it's not losing… of course its not it would happen automatically when you're "softlocked"

-it must have something to do with their friends? but what? they all seemed happy in the end? it's just siffrin who's missing in that regard then, they don't have an "ending" i guess? i guess if it did actually end after the king, everyone goes home and siffrin will just like, keep traveling, without them, alone. huh. and the loop knows this somehow? someway?

-and we just established siffrin controls it somewhat… so then, it's siffrin? siffrin needs to not be sad? siffrin needs a happy ending?

-hmm i guess it was also established that it IS what siffrin wants, they did wish for it didn't they? i picked the mirabelle option at the start, but i don't remember exactly what it was, to keep traveling with them?

-ok so i need more info on the king, and i guess i just ? do the friend events again. and climb the whole house, again. the 20 hour runtime of isat is not looking good with my 27 hour file gang.

-hm i guess while i'm here i can figure out what's going on with the ghosts!

-sif purposefully tripped on a rock… to not seem really powerful

-bonbon you don't know what stars are?

-FUCK I HAVE TO GO INTO THE STAR ROOM ON PURPOSE…. its fine. its fine. i don't need the extra skills its fine. we're so fine . i guess i might as well figure out where the second ghost spawns, and i won't get to do the third again.

-odile won heads or tails again, i think this is a given i can stop writing it down

-odile thinking about time craft… looking at sif… did this happen last time it might have…? maybe i shouldn't skip interacting with the time craft book again.

-i KNEW it siffrin star infodump lmao

-siffrin says stars, the king says stars, loop… also says stars i think ?

-the king wants siffrin to remember something… hmmm

-ok lets see if siffrin is done being mad at loop ig

loop 23 -

-loop teasing them for the family members thing help

-"that sounds really cringe, stardust" "YOU"RE CRINGE"

-"are you jealous of my family members?" help

-loop does act weird whenever i show the drawing and stuff.. hmmm hmmm

-loop not jealous of the party… so they are jealous of something? or they're lying. 50/50 shot

-ok so me acting like a weirdo is in fact doing something. hm

-wait odile lost this time. after like ten million times of winning in a row

-someone siffrin knew loved fish head and thats why he likes them. OH. AWESOME. OK.

-oh! i think we got the third ghost! yesssss!

-oh everyone can see the ghosts. is that bad.

-oh my god the gang all look horrified. what????

-mirabelle crying over it??

-ghost sif looking straight ahead not moving, got suprised when isa called to him and then looked at them like he was so happy he was gonna cry, esp after he realized they were all there, smile getting bigger. "blissful" but wasn't nice or happy… just sad?

-"why would you look at us like that…."

-oh my god he looped back. to lie about seeing it.

-no peppers in those fritters, it seems "missing"

-the island…..? siffrin and the king should especially remember it…

-wait i can give the king the fucking flower? of all people…????? i fucking forgot to give it to someone

-as long as they're important you can give someone a flower… huh

-ok so find written proof of the island… hmmm

-uh oh they're smiling now… uh oh "in this moment she loves you. they all love you"

-you could do this forever! siffrin… oh my god…

loop 26 -

-isa looks stricken, sad? ohhh no :-( sif must have looked at him so sadly….

-ahhh the diary i see i see

-god its just gotta be siffrin. it's siffrin but how… he wanted it enough but. wishing at the trees isn't like… real? odile can still lose the coinflip…

#harley screams #isat liveblog

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, Dirk Strider

Act 6, page 7917-7922

DAVE: damn

DAVE: and i thought our houses were pointlessly tall before

DAVE: it just doesnt stop from keep constantly getting more and more vertically enormous

DIRK: Shit is downright precipitous at this point.

DIRK: Like, upways.

DAVE: haha yeah

DAVE: we made sure as fuck not to come right out and literally describe that building as tall

DIRK: Hell yes.

DIRK: Who needs small and serviceable adjectives when the most ass-backwards way of saying a thing is right there, tantalizingly hidden within the vast ocean of language.

DIRK: Like a treasure in a huge shitty clam.

DAVE: we are way on the same page philosophically here

DIRK: Who is surprised by this?

DIRK: Zero people, is who.

DAVE: sounds like a club for losers to me

DAVE: theyre lucky they dont have any members, otherwise theyd all be lame as hell

DIRK: Yeah.

DAVE: so uh

DAVE: why do the houses need to be so tall again

DAVE: i never actually understood that

DAVE: except to reach the gates but once we all figured out how to fly and shit that became so pointless

DIRK: Yeah. After a while in the game, building kind of stopped mattering.

DIRK: Except near the end. Getting them to the top is just a point of completion.

DIRK: Then you dump the grist rig on top of it, apparently.

DIRK: That lets the thing spray out all the grist from the hoard in the planet's core, kind of like a huge oil derrick I guess.

DAVE: oh

DAVE: how do you know this

DAVE: do you guys have like a manual or

DIRK: I'm in communication with Arquiusprite.

DIRK: He's working on it now.

DAVE: so youre in communication with him like...

DAVE: RIGHT now?

DIRK: Yes.

DIRK: Via my shades.

DIRK: Which he incidentally used to be.

DIRK: Like, as a computer, which he lived inside as my Auto-Responder.

DAVE: right

DAVE: and

DAVE: uh

DAVE: why... did you make that thing again

DAVE: not that you ever told me before

DAVE: 'again' is just like a stammering tack-on to that sentence so as to try and not sound too fucking rude

DIRK: I don't think it's a rude question. It's perfectly fair to wonder what was going through my head when I made him.

DIRK: I've spent a lot of time wondering about that myself.

DAVE: so you just

DAVE: straight up programmed a copy of your brain

DIRK: There was some programming involved, but also a bit of cheating, through the mapping of a captchalogued ghost-imprint of my brain.

DIRK: I guess part of it was just about trying to understand myself.

DIRK: But I don't think I would have put it that way at the time. For a while I insisted he was meant to be a "debate partner" or some horseshit.

DIRK: I was pretty young, and had some stupid ideas.

DIRK: About irony in particular. But also a lot of mostly faux-intellectual thoughts on a wide variety of topics.

DIRK: Like philosophy, consciousness, programming, identity, history, ancient pop-culture... really it ran the full gamut of pretension.

DIRK: Not that I don't still find that stuff interesting. I'd just like to think I'm somewhat less full of shit about it all now.

DAVE: yeah me too

DAVE: i mean, about my interests and stuff

DIRK: Creating him was an interesting exercise I guess, but over the years I came to see his development as one of my biggest mistakes.

DIRK: He sort of turned into a monster. But I could never bring myself to get rid of him, or even really blame him for being an asshole, because he wasn't actually that different from me.

DIRK: Like, by definition.

DIRK: He seems alright as Arquius though. At least it keeps him busy, obsessing over his muscles, asking for milk and shit like that.

DAVE: hmm

DAVE: i guess i started some projects i regretted

DAVE: but nothin like making a milk weirdo eventually exist

DAVE: it sounds fucked up but is also kind of an awesome story in its own way

DIRK: I guess so.

DAVE: maybe im lucky i was never that good with computers

DAVE: now computer ART thats a different story

DAVE: ok it actually isnt i fuckin suck at that too

DAVE: but dammit i try my best and make some magic happen at least in my own mind so maybe thats good enough

DIRK: It certainly worked out for you in my universe.

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: i DID captchalogue my own ghost brain once but i didnt know what to make of that and thought it was kinda weird so that never really went anywhere

DAVE: probably for the best

DIRK: It definitely is.

DIRK: Tinkering with your own mind, or identity or whatever... it's a dark road to go down.

DIRK: There are enough splinters of everyone running around out there as it is, just as a natural byproduct of our reality. For me in particular. Probably for you too, as a time player.

DIRK: That process doesn't need to be encouraged or fucked with.

DAVE: for real

DAVE: my bro did cool things with computers too

DAVE: i mean nothin like making a clone of his brain or anything thank god

DAVE: just some absurd bullshit with web bots and stuff mostly to help prop up his various "enterprises"

DIRK: You mean the porn stuff?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: but with puppets of course

DAVE: it was always about the puppets

DIRK: Naturally.

DAVE: he made all these porn bots that would just talk to each other in a chatroom endlessly

DAVE: all like gettin each other riled up about squishy bottoms and whatnot

DAVE: actually it was pretty entertaining to watch them go at it for hours

DAVE: i think they may have been teetering on the threshold of SOMETHING resembling self awareness?

DAVE: except they only seemed to apply that faculty to reach even more heightened states of sexual excitement for a bunch of nude soft puppets

DIRK: That sounds...

DIRK: Oddly rewarding.

DIRK: I mean, not to say he wasn't still a douche.

DIRK: But as a pastime, cultivating a group of earnest, erotic puppet-loving chatbots sounds so much more relaxing than painstakingly constructing a version of your own brain, and then arguing with it for years thereafter.

DIRK: Almost like tending to a little flock of pigeons.

DAVE: yeah you know he did some cool things

DAVE: it wasnt necessarily all inherently terrible

DAVE: things i would really appreciate under better circumstances

DAVE: he definitely had a lot of drive and also some uh "ideas" that warranted a certain amount of respect i guess

DAVE: he just

DAVE: maybe should not have been allowed near a child?

DAVE: sall im sayin

DIRK: Sounds about right.

DIRK: We really don't have to talk about him anymore though, if it is going to stir up more bad shit for you.

DAVE: nah im alright

DAVE: i think that is all mostly out of my system

DAVE: i mean not forever because i dont think thats how things work

DAVE: i just mean my venting fit is over and im probably good for another 16 years or so and i can return to being mostly deadpan and rad

DIRK: Ok.

DIRK: Well, in sixteen years, if you need someone to vent to again, let me know.

DAVE: sure

DAVE: assuming we havent been killed by like 10 jacks before that i will

DAVE: you certainly seem to be the right guy for that

DIRK: For what?

DAVE: i mean like the most suitable recipient of my hysterical fits on that particular subject

DAVE: there is no way i would ever tell karkat all that

DAVE: i mean maybe some stuff but not ALL the stuff its just too heavy

DAVE: i certainly wasnt gonna mention the stuff to rose or john or jade or whoever else

DAVE: if i was ever gonna do one of my patented acrobatic pirouettes off that particular handle to anyone it really only could have been at him

DAVE: except he was dead

DAVE: and even if he wasnt and i did say all that shit

DAVE: theres no way it would have resulted in anything resembling reconciliation

DAVE: which i think

DAVE: was something i kinda needed

DAVE: but didnt realize it

DAVE: so....

DAVE: thank you for being a really plausible stand in for him who i could rip to shreds??

DAVE: while still being basically innocent of all that terrible garbage

DAVE: so you end up sorta being like an avatar for him that is much easier to forgive

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: maybe FORGIVE isnt the right word because im not sure he deserves that and anyway it doesnt matter because hes been dead for years and at this point is just an irrelevant deceased weirdo who doesnt matter anymore

DAVE: i guess i mean coming around to a place where i dont have to feel rotten all the time anymore

DAVE: and i guess im lucky i got to blunder into a reality that just happened to have the exact right version of a dude which made that possible for me

DAVE: sorry this fuckin ramble is really getting away from me

DAVE: i have no idea if im making sense anymore

DIRK: I think I get it.

DIRK: And sure.

DIRK: You're welcome for me existing.

DAVE: hey can that be like

DAVE: the motto on our family crest

DIRK: I think it already is.

DAVE: all that melodramatic sadbabble aside

DAVE: i think its perfectly cool if youre still curious about your adult self

DAVE: and i dont mind tellin you more stuff about him if you want

DAVE: i know im still wondering about what my adult self got up to

DIRK: Yeah.

DIRK: Well like I said, any time you want to know more, feel free to ask.

DAVE: kay how about

DAVE: we do this thing

DAVE: when i met roxy we did a thing

DIRK: A thing?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: its called the lightning round

DIRK: That does sound like a Roxy thing.

DIRK: Does it by any chance involve asking a rapid-fire series of questions, some of which end up being a bit too personal or invasive?

DAVE: well yeah when she does it

DAVE: we could be chill though

DAVE: when it comes to asking about each others secret crushes and shit

DIRK: Then I guess I will disclaim in advance that I don't have any, and I don't care about yours even if you do.

DAVE: it is settled then on the fact that we are a couple of cool dudes who know where to draw the line on certain topics

DIRK: Cool.

DIRK: So how do we start.

DIRK: Whose lightning round is this, mine or yours?

DAVE: it can be yours go ahead shoot

DIRK: Ok.

DIRK: How...

DIRK: Did...

DIRK: He, um,

DIRK: Come to "adopt" you?

DAVE: i was a baby and i came down to earth on a meteor while riding a pony with a pink heart on its ass

DAVE: he found me in a crater on top of a dead pony and gave me a lil baby pair of shades that look exactly like the ones youre wearin now

DIRK: I see.

DIRK: So you decided to ditch those shades for the aviator glasses?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: years ago john got me these for my bday

DAVE: it might have been like an "ironic dare" to wear them i dont remember

DAVE: but when i got em i was like hell yeah im wearing these

DAVE: gonna rock these fuckers til the end of time

DAVE: they were ben stillers

DAVE: like literally

DAVE: they actually touched his weird sort of gaunt face in one of his films

DIRK: Wait...

DIRK: THE Stiller?

DAVE: yeah

DIRK: Incredible.

DIRK: Also, such a shame what happened to that poor man.

DAVE: wait what happened to him

DIRK: I can tell you when it's your lightning round.

DIRK: Or mine. Whatever. I'm still not sure whose lightning round it is when you're the one asking questions.

DAVE: dunno ask roxy

DIRK: Ok. Anyway, didn't mean to interrupt.

DAVE: but yeah we would send each other stuff sometimes

DAVE: me and john

DAVE: well we all would

DAVE: usually absurd birthday packages and such

DIRK: We did that too.

DIRK: Except I had to send things through time.

DIRK: Always had to figure out stuff small enough to send through the sendificator, even if it was piece by piece.

DAVE: nice

DAVE: one time it turned out we ACCIDENTALLY sent presents through time

DAVE: i mean not literally, more in a roundabout way

DAVE: we all sent john a rabbit

DAVE: but all three rabbits just turned out to be the same damn rabbit

DAVE: because of stupid time shit

DIRK: Once I deliberately and quite literally sent a rabbit through time.

DIRK: It was a robot.

DAVE: wow

DIRK: He was a loyal friend to Jane. I don't know what happened to him though.

DAVE: yeah i dunno what happened to johns rabbits either

DAVE: rabbits am i right

DIRK: I hear you, man.

DAVE: what next

DIRK: Hm.

DIRK: You say he owned Cal as well?

DAVE: yep

DIRK: Did he come down to Earth on a meteor with Cal too?

DAVE: i think so

DAVE: that was a long time ago

DAVE: kinda weird to imagine him strutting around with that puppet as a kid in the 80s

DAVE: or maybe just kinda funny actually

DAVE: he sure held on to it a long time

DAVE: must have gotten attached at a really early age and just never let go

DAVE: i guess you fell to earth with one of those things too?

DIRK: Yeah.

DIRK: But if I came to Earth on a meteor the same way you all did, then I guess I just got dunked right in the fucking ocean.

DIRK: Which makes sense. One of my earliest memories is of using Cal as a flotation device.

DIRK: So he sorta saved my life in a way. I guess I bonded with him too, the way your bro did, even if that sounds a bit stupid.

DIRK: Then again, it didn't help matters much that I lived alone in the middle of the ocean. He was my only real life friend. I mean, until I built some new ones.

DAVE: hmm wait we fucked up

DAVE: i asked you a question its not my turn

DAVE: keep firing

DIRK: Ok.

DIRK: How did your bro die?

DAVE: he died fighting one of these jacks

DAVE: at this point i almost forget which one

DAVE: no wait

DAVE: ok yeah it was the omnipotent dog one

DAVE: the jack from our session

DAVE: he was fighting like a lesser form of him and then jack got extra prototyped by dog powers and then got outmatched and stabbed with his own sword

DAVE: pretty sure davesprite was fighting with him and almost died too but then it turned out he didnt

DAVE: but now im at least 99% sure that davesprite is DEFINITELY dead and wont suddenly reappear as a stupid surprise or anything

DIRK: I hate stupid surprises.

DAVE: word

DIRK: So, you said he "trained" you.

DIRK: I'm guessing that means he knew what was coming?

DIRK: Or, some things about your future, at least?

DAVE: seems that way

DAVE: not sure what he knew or how he knew it

DAVE: all our guardians seemed to know bits and pieces of stuff and did vague mysterious things to prepare

DAVE: to this day i have no idea if he was training me to fight lord english or if he even knew who that guy was on any conscious level

DAVE: or it was more like general purpose training to be able to survive some hard shit after the end of the world happened

DAVE: youd have to ask him but thats impossible

DAVE: i do know he managed to get the drop on a meteor before i entered the game

DIRK: What?

DAVE: as far as i can tell he stood on top of it and split it in half with his sword

DIRK: Um,

DIRK: Not to be too much of a wet blanket on that rad as fuck anecdote, but that sounds kind of far fetched.

DAVE: yeah it does doesnt it

DAVE: but then again so does a baby getting dunked from space in the ocean then floating on a weird doll and then growin up by himself with no adults around

DIRK: That's not far fetched. It was pretty straightforward.

DIRK: I think I just found a building poking out of the water, climbed up, then I just started foraging for food in there like a feral infant.

DIRK: Supplies which I'm sure your adult self must have left behind for me, seeing as he clearly must have known some things about the future too.

DIRK: Speaking of which, maybe it's your turn now?

DAVE: yeah ok

DAVE: questions about me hmm lets see

DAVE: ok FIRST the fuck of all

DAVE: what happened to ben stiller

DIRK: He was deemed a heretic, and was crucified on the Washington Monument by some clowns.

DAVE: wow

DIRK: Due to his dedication to freedom and peace, he came to be seen as a martyr, and then a holy figure.

DIRK: He was left on the monument as an example to all, but thousands of faithful gathered below to gaze up at his pious, sort of gaunt face.

DIRK: For years thereafter, his followers would carve stone busts of him in his memory, capturing the piercing glare of his final expression.

DIRK: But they were all smashed to pieces by the presidential church.

DIRK: That religious movement didn't last very long.

DIRK: Rumor has it the batterwitch had a lot of experience crushing righteous insurrections.

DAVE: did my adult self get pissed about stiller

DAVE: i bet he got pissed

DIRK: Yeah. There was a whole series of final insults that led to his active rebellion, instead of just producing subversive media.

DIRK: At one point, the witch "remastered" all of his films to clean up all the shitty artifacts, and released them in stunning high-def quality all over the world, using a rational business model and everything.

DIRK: That REALLY set him off.

DAVE: what the fuck

DAVE: how fucking dare that woman

DAVE: so then he tried to kill the batterwitch right

DAVE: who is the same exact alien as the condesce in this session??

DIRK: Yes. Same one.

DIRK: And yeah, he teamed up with Rose from the same era.

DIRK: They supposedly put up a good fight, but both died.

DAVE: so...

DAVE: does john know that he is literally about to go fight betty crocker yet or what

DIRK: I have no idea.

DIRK: I really don't know John at all, or any of your friends.

DIRK: I know Jane was the heiress to the Crocker brand. Uh, obviously? It is her name after all.

DIRK: Was John the heir to that empire in his universe?

DAVE: nah

DAVE: i mean not to my or his knowledge

DAVE: he just fuckin hated that company for some reason

DAVE: i think his reason was literally as mundane as just being slightly overexposed to cake

DAVE: thats classic john though he doesnt get pissed about anything except for the absolute dumbest shit

DAVE: but i guess his instincts were right in this case

DAVE: maybe we should just

DAVE: not tell him

DAVE: that hes fightin crocker i think the poor dude has probably had enough mental breakdowns for one adventure

DAVE: we all have

DIRK: I'd like to get to know him.

DIRK: Not to mention Rose and Jade. Would have been nice to hang out and chat, in a circumstance where we weren't supposed to prepare for an imminent deadly struggle.

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: well i guess we could have hung out there a few minutes longer

DAVE: i mean you wouldnt have got much outta jade who is stuck in perma-nap mode

DAVE: just like old times i guess

DIRK: Huh?

DAVE: she used to sleep a lot

DIRK: Ah.

DAVE: but yeah there wasnt much time except for like a bunch of heys and oh nice to meet yous

DAVE: and also i think i would have still been a shitty train wreck socially if we all just hunkered down right then and there for another extensive round of freestyle paltalk

DIRK: Right, I was kind of nervous about lingering there for more than a minute too.

DIRK: Mainly because of Jake.

DIRK: I didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

DIRK: I think I have done enough of that.

DAVE: i guess jake was kinda like your john of the group huh

DAVE: wait that was a pretty dumb observation never mind

DIRK: Nah, sounds about right.

DIRK: Seems like John was your close buddy growing up, and Jake was mine.

DAVE: john and i never really had anything like a falling out

DAVE: except for not talkin to each other for a few years on account of being on a meteor and boat respectively

DAVE: but i guess you two had some buddy troubles or somethin?

DIRK: Yes. A lot of buddy troubles.

DIRK: I vaguely touched on it earlier. I was a really bad influence in his life.

DAVE: what happened

DIRK: A lot of things, that were mostly my fault.

DIRK: Basically, I think I bullied him into dating me.

DIRK: Although I had plenty of "help" from my Auto-Responder.

DIRK: There were a lot of insane plans that he hatched on my behalf.

DIRK: But in fairness, I went along with them.

DIRK: To this day, I can't really tell how much of that bullshit was his doing, and how much was mine, which I've just covered up through denial or selective memory.

DAVE: wait

DAVE: you

DAVE: you dated jake?

DIRK: Yeah.

DIRK: That didn't last long though.

DIRK: It was really lopsided and kind of forced.

DAVE: ...

DAVE: so

DAVE: you

DAVE: ...

DAVE: hmm

DIRK: What?

DAVE: nothing

DAVE: i think were breakin one of the rules here

DAVE: this tangent got too personal

DIRK: Oh yeah.

DIRK: I forgot we weren't doing that.

DIRK: Anyway, carry on. You were asking about adult Dave?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: so that covers how he died

DAVE: taking a futile stand against some unbeatable foe

DAVE: cant say im too surprised about that cause what else is even new

DAVE: what about his early life though

DAVE: guess i arrived around the same year my bro did in my universe?

DAVE: just came down on the same dead horse i rode in on

DAVE: into a world full of opportunities

DAVE: how did i get started

DIRK: His early life isn't well documented.

DIRK: There's hardly anything to read about him until he broke into show business with a few obscure projects at the turn of the century.

DIRK: It all snowballed from there.

DAVE: i guess the one thing we know for sure is i didnt find a kid in a crater and take him under my wing

DAVE: that was probably for the best

DIRK: Heh.

DAVE: actually maybe its better that most of his story is left to my imagination

DAVE: kinda like how you said you spent a lot of time thinkin about him

DAVE: filling in the gaps of his ridiculous exploits

DIRK: Right.

DIRK: There's certainly a lot of lore to work with.

DIRK: Urban legends and stuff.

DAVE: like what

DAVE: actually wait

DAVE: dont tell me

DAVE: at least not now maybe down the road it would be cool to hear some

DAVE: i think id prefer to fill in the blanks myself for a while

DAVE: really it sounds dope as hell to imagine that sort of blank canvas life

DAVE: dropped on earth as a kid in the 70s or 80s or whatever with no bossy adult to reel me in

DAVE: and just having to figure stuff out

DAVE: especially knowing that many years later it all worked out ok

DAVE: really wonder what i did

DAVE: was i like some homeless eighties ragamuffin???

DAVE: jesus christ that sounds fairly adorable if so

DAVE: maybe i slept in an alley on a bed of rubix cubes and alf merchandise

DAVE: or maybe i offered my old school rap services for food

DIRK: Like, through a shitty cardboard booth?

DIRK: You know, like the one from the fuckin' Charlie Brown comics.

DIRK: "This is what the refrance," FYI.

DAVE: yes exactly

DAVE: this sounds like exactly the life for me

DAVE: what if without a penny to my name and the wind at my back i hopped a boxcar to the big apple

DAVE: because as a dumb child i naively believed thats where they made all the apple juice

DAVE: id be sorely disappointed when i got there but it wouldnt matter because id probably scrape together a living on off off off broadway like...

DAVE: making shitty cartoons

DAVE: on stage

DAVE: and saying

DAVE: you guys

DAVE: this will be SO much funnier once the internet happens TRUST ME

DAVE: then the aristocratic patrons of fine theater just shrug and dump their shillings into my orphan hat

DIRK: It sounds to me like you've been reading up on the urban legends already.

DAVE: hahaha

DAVE: i wonder if he had like

DAVE: friends

DIRK: It sounds like he knew a lot of people, at least later in life.

DAVE: sure

DAVE: i mean im sure he knew rose at some point because obviously they teamed up

DAVE: but as fairly old people?

DAVE: it sounds as though they only knew each other as a result of their notability

DIRK: This seems likely.

DAVE: i mean more like the friends i grew up with

DAVE: he couldnt have grown up with john or jade as friends because they were already old by the time he got there

DAVE: this cool 80s kid fantasy was probably just a lot lonelier than ive been picturing in my sweet daydreams

DAVE: i didnt even have the MAYOR god what a nightmare now that i think about it

DAVE: i wonder if all he cared about was making ludicrous shit and fighting evil pastry moguls

DAVE: do you know if he had any other interests

DIRK: Like what?

DAVE: i dont know

DAVE: did you ever read any urban legends about.....

DAVE: paleontology

DIRK: Paleontology?

DAVE: yes the scientific study of dead shit

DIRK: Not that I recall.

DAVE: hmm

DAVE: i guess he probably didnt do anything with that

DAVE: what a shame

DAVE: maybe he never even got the idea since he had completely different experiences

DAVE: but if i were suddenly dropped back in the 20th century id probably look into it at some point

DAVE: i dunno how though

DAVE: i think it would be mainly like

DAVE: some sort of theraputic interest

DAVE: something relaxing to think about instead of a bunch of ironic and stupidly ambitious objectives

DIRK: Yeah, like the porn bots.

DAVE: yeah exactly

DIRK: Maybe some day, when we're both old men, you can live a quiet life tending to your fossils, and I will do the same with my dear collection of simple-minded chat robots fixated on puppet ass.

DAVE: sounds like the fucking life to me

DIRK: What was the lightning round question this stemmed from again?

DIRK: I forget.

DAVE: dunno

DAVE: maybe were tapering off with the lightning round stuff anyway and its just naturally deteriorating into regular dudechat

DIRK: Maybe.

DIRK: You sure you don't have anything else before we say it's officially deteriorated?

DAVE: k heres a curveball

DAVE: what the fuck are you wearing

DIRK: My prince gear.

DIRK: You know. Leggings, slippers, the poofy asshole pants, a hood with some sort of cloth tiara deal embedded in it.

DIRK: Basic stuff for princes, apparently.

DAVE: huh

DAVE: gotta say

DAVE: some of these god tier ensembles really are...

DAVE: something

DIRK: I thought I hated it at first.

DIRK: But over the couple hours I spent flying back, with time to think about all sorts of stuff...

DIRK: It kinda grew on me.

DIRK: The asshole pants are pretty damn comfortable, so I dunno if I even care how stupid they look.

DIRK: And I *am* kind of an asshole, after all. So who am I to complain.

DAVE: i thought the same thing about my cape outfit at first

DAVE: felt like some bozo from the renaissance festival

DAVE: like maybe i should get on a horse and sing a shitty ballad

DAVE: but then it grew on me pretty quickly

DAVE: hardly ever took it off in three years

DAVE: youre right its comfortable and theyre fuckin magic pajamas or whatever and they start to feel like part of who you are after long enough

DAVE: i mean they are supposed to last you forever right

DAVE: kinda by definition since they come along with immortality

DAVE: maybe part of their magical nature includes this insidious quality where they grow on you

DAVE: or not i dunno maybe this is bullshit and ill just wear some normal person clothes when this is all over

DAVE: what about you are you gonna wear god duds forever

DIRK: Nah. I'm sure I'll wear regular stuff again at some point.

DIRK: If a shirt with a hat on it can be deemed regular.

DAVE: im cool with deeming it as such

DAVE: yeah maybe youre right and we should all stop dressing like tools from an infinite magic slumber party for floundering teens

DAVE: and just look like standard floundering teens

DAVE: some of the getups are pretty out there

DAVE: jakes tho...

DAVE: uh

DAVE: damn??

DIRK: I...

DIRK: Yeah.

DIRK: That page costume.

DIRK: I'd have commented on it, except that would've been casting a stone through a particularly fragile glass wardrobe.

DIRK: So... I just flew away.

DAVE: yeah there was uh

DAVE: some palpable awkwardness there

DIRK: Hm.

DAVE: sorry im still

DAVE: tryin to

DAVE: like

DAVE: wrap my head around

DAVE: ...

DIRK: What?

DAVE: uh

DAVE: dammit

DAVE: ok i guess i might have to break one of our lightning round rules

DAVE: only a little tho

DAVE: i hope

DIRK: About what?

DIRK: The personal stuff?

DAVE: yeah

DIRK: That's fine.

DAVE: ok maybe im not even asking you anything

DAVE: maybe this is just a starting point to ramble to myself

DAVE: on a certain topic

DAVE: i think...

DAVE: there is a SLIGHT chance...

DAVE: i may be the biggest idiot in the world

DIRK: ?

DAVE: when it comes to understanding some things about my bro

DAVE: some pieces i never really put together

DAVE: about him

DAVE: until maybe literally right now

DAVE: which i think makes me an objective dumbass

DIRK: What does this have to do with me and Jake?

DAVE: idk

DAVE: nothin

DAVE: maybe i dont wanna ask you anything about jake

DAVE: maybe ill just keep abiding by the code of basic dude manners on that

DAVE: if i bother skirtin the line of this rule maybe id rather ask you other stuff instead

DIRK: Like what?

DAVE: like

DAVE: um

DAVE: say one of your best friends is a knucklehead you havent seen in three years

DAVE: and unless you use ultra direct and explicit language he just wont put two and two together himself

DAVE: and also say ANOTHER best friend is a girl you feel like you had kind of a special relationship with but you ALSO hadnt seen in three years

DAVE: and shes asleep

DAVE: but at some point shell wake up and youll have to talk to her

DIRK: ...

DAVE: this is dumb im not making any sense

DAVE: lemme start over

DAVE: ok lets say

DAVE: way back whenever

DAVE: howww

DAVE: ...

DAVE: how did you tell your friends

#homestuck #dave strider #dirk strider #homestuck act 6 #page 7917 #page 7918 #page 7919 #page 7920 #page 7921 #page 7922 #homestuck act 6 act 6 #homestuck act 6 act 6 intermission 5

[mousegard]

If you’re still doing the character ask thing, Leonie?

leonie! yeah! i don't like, have brainworms about her like other characters, but i do think she's a really good character and i have a lot to say

favorite thing about them

the answer to this part of the ask is down in the "unpopular opinion" section so just scroll down to that. ok basically just read this post upside down, got it? scroll all the way to the bottom and grow up

anyway, leonie is one of many commoners in the monastery, with the golden deer house having the most of the bunch, and each commoner in the game shows a different facet of what it's like to be a commoner in fodlan, and i really like the perspective that leonie's backstory and personality brings. it's one of the many examples of the game's frankly underrated worldbuilding that brings fodlan to life and makes it feel like a real place full of real people!

least favorite thing about them

my least favorite thing is more of a gameplay thing than a character thing, she's a great unit on its own but if i'm recruiting her to another house or doing a full-recruitment run she sorta becomes redundant by other units i like more. sorry!

also, the fandom making "lol she wants to fuck byleth's dad" jokes. but if i complained about everything the fandom says that makes me want to tear my hair out about every character in the game i'd be here all day

oh and also her post-timeskip hair. i'm sorry i just don't like it. it looks bad on her.

favorite line

"Captain Jeralt said that, if anything should happen to him, I'd have to support you in his place. He didn't sound serious at the time, but it was right before he… you know. Before we lost him."

i think this line from her a-support with byleth recontextualizes a lot of the assholery she exhibits in her b-support with byleth (more about my thoughts on that down below in the "unpopular opinion" section) and it really brings a new dimension to the grief she feels about losing jeralt and her contentious relationship toward byleth.

brOTP

i talk a lot about her contentious relationship to byleth in this post but i honestly really like the idea of them being close in a platonic way. like yes their relationship is rocky at first but leonie does eventually get past her own resentment and grows to appreciate byleth as a part of jeralt's legacy and as someone who deserves her respect.

OTP

i don't have a lot of romantic ships for leonie but i really love her supports with bernie. especially in their c-support. bernie just seems so down bad and leonie is completely oblivious to the sheer about of butch swag she radiates.

i also love her paired ending with felix outside of azure moon, when fodlan becomes so peaceful that the two of them can't make a living as mercenaries and have to take jobs as street performers. i think it's the perfect job for felix, at least

nOTP

don't have any, there aren't any characters she has supports with that have me like, "no that's gross" or "nah i don't like that"

random headcanon

none, the things i like about her are all just right there in the text, so i don't have to make anything up

unpopular opinion

leonie gets way too much shit for her c-support and b-support with byleth. i think it's natural for her to feel resentment toward byleth, especially early on. like she's jeralt's biggest fan, knows everything she can know about him, wants to follow in his footsteps, and the person who got to have the life she dreamed of is this weirdo emotionless kid who doesn't seem to know anything about or appreciate at all the man she idolizes.

and i think her c-support is even better if you get it as soon before jeralt's death as possible. it makes his death even more of a twist of the knife.

and then you get her b-support with byleth, which i similarly love. the grief from jeralt's death for both of them is still fresh and raw. leonie tries to apologize for what she'd said to byleth before, but at the end she snaps again and that old resentment pours out, freshly invigorated.

i think those two support conversations are some of the most human support conversations in the game. because dealing with grief is hard and messy, and it can bring ugly things to the surface that hurt the people around you. this is unironically what i love about leonie. she's only human. she's a bit of a shit to byleth at first and when she tries to do better she gets in her own way because she's still hurting. it's just so good and i hate that she gets treated like a bitch for being human. unironically god forbid a woman do anything

song i associate with them

sorry, i don't have one

favorite picture of them

thank you three hopes for making leonie's post-academy design good

suzytookaflight

also i am going to give you my leobern brainworms

chestkeys

[firelord-frowny]

yall i just read about THE WORSTTTT true crime case i have ever heard of oh my GOD oh my GOD!!!!!!!! trigger warning for murder and poop???????????

ok so. i had actually heard about the case several years ago when the boy's body still hadn't been found yet, but the boy's father was Very Suspicious, to the point where the boy's mom was sure he had something to do with his disappearance. the boy had ~vanished~ during a court-ordered visit to his father's house.

well, something today reminded me of the case, so i decided to give it a google and see if the boy's body was ever found and/or if the dad was ever charged with the crime.

the answer to both questions is yes. partial remains were found close to the father's house, and the father was arrested and charged and convicted.

so like.

the fact that a young boy was murdered by his own father is bad enough. it's horrifying. it's awful to even think about.

but the MOTIVE????

oh my god.

the MOTIVE!!!!!!!!!!

oh my GOD!!!!!

listen.

apparently.

the father killed him in a 'fit of rage' after the boy confronted him with pictures he found...

OF HIS DAD EATING SHIT IN A DIAPER??????

WHAT! THE! HELL!!!!!!

apparently the boy and his brother had found the pictures on the dad's laptop by accident some time prior??? And took pictures of it on their phones with the intention of using them as leverage against the dad in the ongoing custody battle between the dad and the mom??? which, considering that the fucking weirdo KILLED HIS OWN SON, i'd say that the boys had good reason to not want him to have custody of them!

just oh my goddddddddddddddddddddddd.

disgusting!!!

also, not that it fucking matters, but the article i read (or more like Skimmed Through With Conviction because i couldnt stomach letting my eyes linger on the words for any longer than absolutely necessary) wasn't super clear about whether the dad was eating shit "in a diaper" as in the shit is in a diaper and he's eating out of it like a plate, or if he's just eating shit in general while he's WEARING a diaper. but like. both options are somehow more disgusting than each other omfg so it doesnt even matterrrrrrr.

omfggg. i was gonna say 'can you imagine???' but no. PLEASE dont imagine!!!!

i hope he feels like a fucking nasty ass imbecile!!!

like, you're gonna go and murder your own child to try to avoid the world finding out that you're a diaper wearing, shit eating weirdo, only for the whole world to find out that you're a diaper wearing shit eating weirdo anyway! and not ONLY are you a diaper wearing shit eating weirdo, but you're a CHILD MURDERING diaper wearing shit eating weirdo!!!! disgusting!!!! sickening!!! demonic!!!!

omfg you shoulda just taken the fucking L and sat in the humiliation of having your gross kink outed to your friends and family instead of adding Child Murder to your list of disgusting things you've done!!!

like damn, people can forgive gross kinks as long as you're not hurting anybody and you're keeping it private. some people might even feel sorry for you if/when your gross kink gets outed without your consent!

but nobody forgives child murder! you fucking psychopath!!!

ew! ew! ew! ew! ew! ew! ew! ew! ew!

they probably have him under a false identity in prison omfg people probably think he's in for shooting a taxi driver or something bc you just knooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwww that the Child Murdere Who Eats Shit would not be well-liked in prison omfgggg.

i kinda sorta highkey hope he offs himself like he shoulda done in the first damn place if the thought of being outed as a shit eating weirdo was soooooooooooooooooooooooo unbearable to him.

like, don't murder your child just because YOU cant cope with your own fucking shame!

you coulda gone to therapy!

you coulda packed your shit up and skipped town and changed your name!

and as a last fucking resort you could have blown your own damn brains out in lieu of killing your son you SICK FUCK oh my god! oh my god! oh my god! im so disgusted! im so angry for the lil boy! and i hope the dad suffers every day for the rest of his life oh my goddddd. oh my GOD i hope he's miserable. i hope the shame and humiliation is neverending. if there's one thing more embarrassing than being a diaper wearing shit eater, it's being a diaper wearing shit eater who tried to keep it a secret by murdering his own child only to be found out anyway.

what a TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE reason to be murdered :( that poor boy.

#google 'mark redwine' if you want sources

[munsonology]

Not to be a hater but quite literally if given the chance I would absolutely lay into my ex friend. Like he called me a slew of names spaced out over time each one worse then the previous, shared my trauma with people and tried to use it against me, and even told the kids I babysat for years MY FUCKING KIDS (not mine but basically they were) (and their parents) that I was a bad influence and a bad person. Like I took the name calling, but then I distanced because of the wife situation, but then I find out the rest of this shit????

Like ONE CHANCE I'd take it. Let me fucking at him. ESPECIALLY if I was in a group! Like you trying to come for me???

You??? No degree barely graduated high school can't swing a hammer or change your own oil man??? Coming for a smart strong bachelor degree woman???

You lived with your parents for years, not because of a cultural thing, but because you were "scared" to live alone! Bending to your mother's every beck and call. I should call you Norman Bates with how far up your mother's ass you are.

I could get a man or woman or ANYBODY if I wanted. I have options. remember when you had a crush on me dumbass and asked me out remember when you simped for me and took me to the movies for free what about that concert that was over 300 dollars FOR FREE cause you wanted me so bad? I could have had you and DIDNT and no one wants your 30 year old ass thats why you chose an 18 year old you fucking creep THAT is why we aren't friends and then all your dirty little secrets and skeletons about what you told others about me came out. You think your shit don't smell because you are full of it

You think you are so good and kind and everything you do is golden well its fool's gold you clown. Karma gonna get you just you wait (and thats the only reason I haven't fought u yet like...im trying to be the better person but they say one more thing in my presence...)

(And yes it is fucked they went for the 18 year old and it is even more fucked that they are now married like it was so quick like who thought that was okay not me that poor girl I hope she gets out cause he is not good he is not the love of her life hes just a man!!! Let me run him over cause YOU ARE A CHILD AND) (no I was gonna be petty af and post a throwback photo and tag everyone cause I have a picture of me, him, and his wife when she was 4 and he was 16 like 💀💀)(also again no shame to her if she needs help i am getting her out but she is devoted to him and disillusioned rn he got her brainwashed and yes we all grew up together and yes its a fucked situation and I want to go all Carrie Underwood on his ass and dig a key into the side of his car and knock out his headlights but karma is coming for him and karma could do better then me) (sorry for spilling in your inbox I am a ball of hate found out today and I mean AN HOUR AGO he actually was the one to spread a rumor about me that haunts me to this day as well as telling people about secrets I had told him that were not ok to tell and he has the fucking nerve to have come into MY HOUSE under false pretenses just to record me out of context and share it as proof im terrible oh fuck him)(please note as soon as I found out he was with the 18 year old I cut him out of my life but we work together just in different departments so I see him pretty regularly still sadly and I cant quit because I signed a contract but thankfully I dont have to see his crusty ass every day cause if I did....call me Elsa with the stone cold attitude he is receiving)

oh my god bestie 😭😭 first thank you for sharing 💖 he’s a weirdo for real. the fact he married an 18 year old is just sick, and what’s worse is you know he didn’t just meet her at 18 because they never do 😒

and that’s commendable of you to wanna look after her. it might take a while for her to see who he truly is. i think it’s important to remember she might not accept help :/ it might be healthier for you to take a step back. sometimes we need to put ourselves first for our own wellbeing. hopefully her family is aware.

it always hurts when people you think are your friend are the ones who purposely and carelessly hurt you the most. and i know you wanna fuck him up and key his car but he’s not worth going to jail over. the universe has a way of always working out, what we put out into the world we receive and trust he’ll get his for all the clownery he’s doing. it might take a while but it will. and when it does you can sip your tea with a big slurp 💀

#sav’s mailroom #sav’s anons #the amount of times i’ve been right about people #the longest took like 7 months and not only was i right about him #but he got fired for racism #😭😭😭 didn’t even have racism on my list bs about him

[chelsiepagetostage]

May be Madness

Scene 1 

(Chloe gets out of bed, put on her slippers, and walks downstairs to her desk. As she opens her laptop, her friend facetimes her)

Chloe: Hey baby. What’s up? You ok?

Deza: Yea, just stressed waiting to hear back from the place about the grant for my piece. I really hope I get it.

Chloe: You will. I’m manifesting. At this point you have to get it, we need a win.

Deza: Facts, shit is getting so discouraging and annoying.

Chloe: Literally, we’re too talented to be living in squalor. I’m so sick of hearing about how I should be doing better from my mom.

Deza: You know your mom is like alarmingly toxic, right?

Chloe: Yea, but like at this point it's a joke. Everyone lets her be a narcissist, am I really gonna be the one to change her? Let's be for real

Deza: True.

Chloe: Oh my god. I didn’t even tell you, Jade got married and didn’t tell anyone.

Deza: WHAT!?

Chloe: No literally, I’m flabbergasted by the state of her weird delusional relationship. Apparently they got married for health insurance reasons, but it’s still weird she didn't tell me.

Deza: I’m shocked she didn’t post it on Facebook. Almost as shocked as I am that they’re even still together.

Chloe: If they're still together in two years, she'll have a destination wedding for Facebook

Deza: Everyone has been so delusional lately, I can’t. This girl at my job was crying because it is hard for her to see racism in the world…she’s white.

Chloe: Yea…umm…that would’ve pissed me off, because what the hell? What did you say?

Deza: Nothing. She’s a weirdo and I had zero emotional capacity to deal with it.

Chloe: I wonder what her.. like internal monologues are like. I wish I could hear them, that would be something else.

Deza: Are we having lunch tomorrow?

Chloe: Yea, I’ll come over and we can cook.

(there’s a knock at Chloe’s door)

Chloe: I have to go, someone just knocked on my door, like who the fuck is knocking on my door? I hate it here. I’ll text you.

Deza: K love you. Get a bat though because people are pretending to be utility workers and robbing people.

Chelsie: Jesus. Ok call me back in 10 to make sure I’m alive and not hogtied.

Deza: Ok, bye.

(Chloe opens the door to see a short woman she doesn’t know)

Random woman: Hi! Your mail was delivered to my house so I thought I'd bring it by

Chloe: Thank you so much, but you could've put it in my mailbox though, I was doing something.

Random woman: umm ok. Here you go! Bye

(Chloe closes the door)

Chloe: Why the fuck are people so annoying?

[primatechnosynthpop]

Assorted things to know about the Worrell-Kovacs household

First off they're in a committed relationship living in the same house but they do NOT sleep together because A) Ernest is legally not allowed to fuck and B) Rorschach is sex-averse probably in part due to childhood trauma but I think even after working through a lot of his issues it's still really not for him. They sleep in separate beds like an old-timey sitcom couple.

You know when you're living with multiple people/animals and sometimes get their names mixed up? Well "Rorschach" and "Rimshot" both start with an R and have a "sh" sound in them so you know Ernest is CONSTANTLY accidentally calling his dog's name when he means to call for his boyfriend and vice versa

For the first little while Rorschach is just kinda in his Sorting His Shit Out period and isn't really contributing Anything. I think when Ernest does household chores on a day-to-day basis it's about a 50/50 chance of him doing a good normal job vs. wacky hijinks ensuing. Eventually once Rorschach has sufficiently gotten his act together he starts pitching in more, and eventually manages to get a part-time tailoring position because Ernest has a hard time holding down jobs and they need a steady source of income

It takes a while for Rorschach to get used to having a cartoonish slapstick bf because he's so used to living in grimdark city... he'll see Ernest get crushed by some heavy machinery and be like oh fuck my boyfriend is dead never love anything. And then Ernest will crawl out maybe a little dizzy but otherwise perfectly fine and it's like. Huh. Ok.

(I'd like to say he eventually gets used to it but honestly, seeing Ernest get hurt always freaks Rorschach out even though he never seems to retain any damage)

Several of the later Ernest movies give him explicit love interests and obviously in this timeline that's not happening. Like in slam dunk that lady who works for the antagonist is trying to flirt with Ernest and he's like sorry ma'am I'm taken :] *shows her a photo of Rorschach the notoriously ruthless vigilante* this is my boyfriend isn't he handsome <3

Rorschach is like that one post about hyping up one's lame-ass boyfriend. Whenever anyone is mean to Ernest he will break into their house to threaten them

On a related note this is NOT the kind of "Rorschach gets a s/o and moves to a peaceful small town" scenario where everyone there comes to like him and he completely settles down to being a normal guy. Very few people like Ernest in the first place and the fact that he's dating a creepy violent weirdo doesn't help. It's fine though because Ernest keeps finding jobs in different cities so they move around a lot, and sometimes they meet people who enjoy their company

Two different possibilities depending on how you interpret Ernest's various other characters/personalities that sometimes show up... I read them as just characters he puts on, and Rorschach isn't a fan of any of them but begrudgingly puts up with it the way anyone else would when your partner repeatedly does a bit you don't like

But alternatively, if you read it as Ernest being part of a system... he can tell that Rorschach doesn't like his other personalities and it kinda sends him into the self-deprecation zone. When Rorschach sees this and comes to understand the situation, he assures Ernest that he loves and accepts every part of him, even the parts that get on his nerves sometimes

That being said they do both definitely have some variety of brain problems disorder which they help each other navigate as best they can... Rorschach's got a few samefoods that he likes and Ernest gets really good at preparing them, and Rorschach will write down notes and stuff for Ernest in case he gets distracted and forgets things

After living together for a while Rorschach subconsciously picks up on Ernest's vocal quirks. The first time he catches himself appending "know what I mean?" to the end of a sentence he has an "oh god what has my life become" breakdown, but like not seriously because deep down he wouldn't trade the life he has now for anything, especially not the life he had before

At some point they adopt a stray cat (read: Rorschach picks one up off the street). Ernest doesn't really know how to interact with a cat and just treats it like a dog, so the cat is always hissing and scratching and biting him, but Ernest doesn't complain about it because Rorschach learned to live with Rimshot for his sake, so it's the least he can do to return the favour

Rorschach doesn't tell Ernest much about his fucked up backstory for a long time because he's afraid it'll scare him off, whereas Ernest has no problem going on rambling explanations of his own history. At some point Ernest casually says something about his upbringing that Rorschach recognizes as being kinda messed up, and upon realizing that he's not the only one with issues he gradually begins to open up about his own past a little more

(Ernest does get pretty freaked out and upset when Rorschach finally tells him some of his backstory stuff, especially about the Roche case. Rorschach initially misreads the reaction as his fears being confirmed about scaring Ernest off, but really Ernest just regrets that he didn't meet Rorschach sooner and wasn't there to help him through it)

Just because it's funny I'll say that for whatever reason gay marriage gets legalized way earlier in this timeline, and Rorschach actually does end up taking Ernest's name, but with the stipulation that people are EVEN LESS allowed to call him "Walter" now. He's like don't get it twisted people, my name is Rorschach Worrell and if you call me anything else I'll beat you up

I don't think they'd ever have kids or anything, but at some point Ernest and whatever pack of neighbourhood kids he's hanging out with get in trouble and they have to call Rorschach for help, and when he shows up to save the day all the kids think he's super cool. Rorschach isn't sure how to deal with this because he knows he's not a good role model! But at the kids' and Ernest's combined behest he agrees to hang out with them a little more often, thus gradually improving his social skills and putting him on a path to making more friends

Idk if this came across clearly enough but ftr, in the story when Rorschach thinks everyone is assuming that he and Ernest were together, that's supposed to be him recognizing his own feelings but not wanting to acknowledge them. So if any of the other watchmen characters ever wind up meeting him again, they are shocked and baffled to find out that they're an item. Well that's all

#yes some of these points are things i've had Feelings in relation to. making myself emo about the silly little crossover ship i invented #what else is new? #this has been in my drafts for like a week or so btw. kept coming up with new things to add. may even go back and edit in more points #if i think of anything else worth saying #erschach tag

[multifandomwriter18]

Ironhide x reader imagine ~ TF1

~Ironhide was legit my very first crush. Then he died in Dark of the moon so then I kinda was like ‘bee is kind of cute.’ Therefore that led to becoming madly in love with Bumblebee. Anyways enjoy!~

You see being a teenager and figuring out your GMC truck isn't just a truck but an alien robot it kinda fucks your head up.

Normally you don't see a 17 year old going out on a full out alien war but hey that's just your crazy life right?

After the first war you became really good friends with Sam but sadly he had moved on with Mikaela which was cool since you had Ironhide to hang out with you.

Throughout your time with him, he had taught you a lot. Mostly about guns and bad ass missions he went on back on Cybertron which you didn't mind cause who wouldn't want to hear cool as stories about giant alien robots kicking ass?!

Tonight you were gonna pick up (name) for you and his movie date. Of course you were excited. You had always had a crush on him every since you two little kids.

The school bell takes you away from your thoughts and you grabbed your binders and you head out it (class) class.

You see (name) leaning against your locker as you smiled at him. "Hey, (name) how was class?" He asked as he chuckled. "It was good I guess. (Class) is (class)." You replied as you tucked a lock of your (h/c) hair behind your ear.

He smiled as he leaned down and kissed your cheek. "You see tonight ."

You blushed but nodded as you watched him leave. You sigh dreamily at him as you then opened your locker and grabbed your (colour and size) backpack.

You closed your locker and head out to of the school to the parking lot where Hide was parked at.

As you get to the parking lot you see a few girls making cow eyes at Hide. Heat swept through your cheeks.

Wha-what the heck is going?!

You felt angry and jealous. What?! Me jealous?!

Without anymore hesitation, feeling sick to your stomach watching the girls touch his hold you snapped.

"Hey!" They turn to look at you as you stormed at them. "Get your hands of him-my truck!" You spat as the girls side stepped as they looked at you.

"This is your truck?" The blonde one asked as you rolled your (e/c) colour eyes. "Damn right, now get your hands away from him-m-my truck!" You snapped as you stuttered the last part.

"Chill out weirdo we were just checkout the truck."

Your face went a dark shade of red. "Well I don't want you doing that again-and don't ever touch him-my truck!"

The girls whispered to each other as you glared at him, ignoring the warmth of his hood underneath your touch.

The girls walked away as you let out a shaky breath. You step away from Hide for a moment, wondering what the hell just had happened.

"You ok kid?" Hide asked through the radio as I nodded, throwing my bag onto the passenger seat before getting into the driver's side.

"So what are we gonna do tonight kid?"

You chuckled nervously, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. "Oh um..well I have a..a date.." You mumble as Hide instantly pressed on the brakes nearly smashing your face against the steering wheel.

"Ironhide what the-"

"A what?!"

You worked down a swallow as you shifted in the seat. "A date..like when two humans go out together." You replied as he snorted in disgust. "Hide what the hell is wrong with you?"

He didn't reply. He started up again and drove you home.

:later that night:

As you got ready you couldn't get Ironhide out of your head.

Why did he act like that?

You shook your head side to side trying to get Hide out of your head. You then added some makeup to your face.

A little bit of coverup. Mascara and eye liner. You then went to your closet and pulled out a pair of (colour) jeans, a (colour) t-shirt and your (colour) jean jacket.

You pulled on ankle socks and your (colour) Vans. You grabbed your purse, phone and wallet. You brushed your hair and left it down.

You take in a deep breath before heading down the stairs and giving your parents a quick kiss on their cheeks. "I want you home at 11 o'clock and don't be late." Your father stated sternly as you nodded.

"Yes ok. Bye!" You run out the door and to the driveway and hopped in the driver side and Ironhide grumbled something before starting up and the radio played one of your favourite songs.

"I want to hold you when I'm not suppose to. When I'm lying next to someone else. Your stuck in my head and I can't get you out of it. I could do it all again. I know I'd go back to you!" You sang out as you hummed the rest of the lyrics as you pulled into (name's) driveway and he steps out from his porch.

As he went to open the passenger door it wouldn't budge. "Hey um..(y/n) the doors locked." You raised a brow as you clicked the unlock button but it locked again.

You rolled your (e/c) eyes before you leaned over and opened the door. "Sorry (name) my truck can sometimes be stupid."

He chuckled before getting in and you drive off to the movies. During the drive he reached out and you both held hands as your other hand rested on the steering wheel.

Ironhide thankfully didn't act up anymore. Part of you felt guilty for calling Hide stupid. He wasn't stupid. He meant a lot to you but sometimes he could get on your nerves.

Once you pull up to the movie theatre you find a parking spot and both you and (name) get out and in hand in hand walk to the front doors.

As you look over your shoulder, staring at Hide one last time. Why do I feel like I'm making a mistake?

:after the movie:

You pull up to his house and you smiled at him. Through out the movie you felt at ease.

Happy even. (Name) made you giggle a lot as he would put his arm around you or kiss your cheek.

He made you feel bubbly and just-God you could swoon over him, but part of you didn't feel right.

You had non-stopped thought about Hide. All you could think about was him and how you got jealous of those girls.

You thought about him getting jealous over you and (name).

"I had fun (y/n) I really did.."

You smiled as you looked at him. Your (e/c) eyes met his dark (e/c) ones.

Slowly you both leaned towards each other. You could feel the warmth of his breath against your lips. Just before (name) could kiss you, Ironhide jerked the seat forward and backwards ruining the moment.

"I'm so sorry! I don't-my truck has some issues but-"

He cut you off with a soft kiss on the cheek. "It's ok (y/n), see you tomorrow."

You blushed but nodded as he smiled at you once more before heading out and to his house.

You then kicked the radio. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you do that?!" You snapped at Hide, instantly regretting it.

Of course he didn't response so without another word you put him in drive and pulled out of (name's) driveway and down the road.

"I can't believe you right now! First you try to lock (name) out. Then you nearly throw him off the seat! What the fuck!" You yelled angrily as you clenched hard on the steering wheel.

Suddenly the truck jerks and you nearly hit face first on the steering wheel.

"CAUSE I LIKE YOU!" He snarled through the com-link throwing you off big time.

He likes me? You thought as your heart was beating out of your chest.

Ironhide pulled to the side off the road and his hologram appeared on the passenger side seat.

His hologram form was an eye full. The large body figure-muscle and all. His hair was jet black that kinda looks like a purple-silver in the faint moon light.

He wore dark jeans, a grey t-shirt that might you say cling onto his biceps. His eyes were a strikingly electric blue.

His skin was dark-like the colour of creamy coffee. Around his arms he had jet black tattoos-Cybertonian tattoos. He didn't look at me, he let out a faint sigh as he leaned over.

"Look, I hated the fact that you had that damn kid in here with you-and you didn't like those human girls checking out my alt mode.."

"Why the hell are you bringing this up now?" You hissed as more heat swept through your (skin colour) cheeks. "Why does it bother us so much if we are near or with other people?" He added on as you lowered my gaze.

"Maybe cause we're just that special?"

He groaned, dragging his hands down his face before grabbing your arm and pulling you towards him.

"God your so difficult."

"Hey-what I'm-MPH!"

In moment his lips collied with yours. Your (e/c) eyes widened at the sudden action but slowly you began to relax in his kiss.

His lips were warm and soft. Fitting perfectly against yours. You mimicked the movement of his lips for a while until he finally pulled away.

You both were out of breath, your faces both red and you couldn't help but stare at him in shock.

"Look-I don't know what I'm doing-or how to react to these emotions that I feel towards you but I know what I feel towards you is real. I like the feeling of it and if you don't-"

"-I like you too." You stuttered out as you cut him off from his sentence. You saw him tense up and his whole interior of his alt mode begin I heat up making you bite your lip at the sudden warmth.

"You do?" He asked, finally breaking he silence as you nodded, meeting his gaze.

"Yes I do."

He smirked a little as he pulled you towards him. Your face heated up a bit more. "In that case I would like to kiss you again but also ask you formally like you humans do it on earth. Will you be my girlfriend-or as we say it on Cyberton..will you be my Sparkmate?"

You smiled as you nodded eagerly. "Yes! Yes I say yes to it all." You replied cheerfully as Ironhide cupped your face and kissed you hard on the mouth.

You never had been kissed like this before. It was exhilarating! A kiss that made you want more and more.

You both broke the kiss and he smiled at you. You face flushed as you looked away.

"What are you smiling at?"

"You have two minutes before it hits 11 o'clock (nickname)"

You (e/c) eyes widened as you looked at the radio clock. "Oh shit! I'm gonna be late!"

You hopped off his lap and I to the driver's seat and sped down the road.

What a night eh?

Hello my little Sweetparks!

I hope you all are enjoying my imagines so far! Any thoughts of the new one shot?💗

More updates are still to come so stay tuned for more! Or please don’t be afraid to request anything! I’ll gladly take your requests!!!

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