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#i’ve seen people do him before and it LOOKS SO COOL IT MAKES ME FLAPPY HANDS AND HAPPY SCREAMING
baileyboo2016 · 7 months
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can i force people ask nicely for someone to draw lanayru for linktober
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melodiesofblueroses · 3 years
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Can I request a Seiichiro with a reader who loves Cinnamoroll and they bond over it?
hello anon, hope you've been doing well!! I hope you don't mind, but I decided to write a fic for this rather than hcs. It is a bit long so apologies for that, but it was just too cute, and I couldn't seem to stop writing! Hope you enjoy 💕
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-𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨: seiichiro x gn!reader
-𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦: fluff
-𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: ~1.9k
»»————————- ♡ ————————-««
“could you please give these to the student council president?” one of your fellow club members asked, shoving a stack of documents into your arms. it was nearing the end of the day, and all the members were helping to clean up the classroom before all going their separate ways. quickly scanning over them, you weren’t quite sure what they were for and why a small school club even needed that many papers, but you decided that it would be much less of a headache if you just complied. it’s not like they really asked much out of you anyway since you were simply another member, a mere single digit they could add to their forms. the only reason you were even in a club was because everyone was expected to be in one.
“um, sure,” you replied, trying your best to hold the heavy load of papers. it would surely be a nightmare to reorganize if any were to spill. the other member seemed to pay no mind and instead started to thank you for going through all of the trouble. it’s not like you really minded the task, however, so all you could do was awkwardly stand still so that you could ask them one more question. “could you point me in the direction though?” 
it was usually the captain or co-captain that often dealt with the student council president, and you’d heard quite a bit about him. well, for one, he was supposedly quite handsome, though that was currently the least of your concerns. from what you’ve gathered, the president was a dependable guy, someone who was loved by all. he always took on a task someone asked of him, whether it be too big or small. yet, he was also a bit frightening due to how uptight and strict he was with guidelines. at times, he was quite a pain to deal with, or so you’ve heard. it was rather frustrating to all of the other club captains as they had to redo their forms many times in order to hold up to his standards. in short, the president was a perfectionist. no wonder the captain of your club didn’t want to go deliver the documents today. 
you shuddered at the thought of meeting such a guy, terrified that he’d have you stay longer and redo the papers. you didn’t even know how to fill out the forms, much less what was even on them. as much as you wanted to simply leave the documents at the doorstep, you knew that the club was depending on you. besides, if the president was that strict, then he’d surely get mad at your club, and you couldn’t risk it disbanding. there really wasn’t much you could currently do, however, since you had just arrived at his office. deciding that it was better to get it over with, you knocked on the door a few times, opening and stepping into the room the moment you heard ‘enter.’
you thought that surely the rumors and gossip were exaggerated when you saw a young man sitting at a desk, smiling up at you as you entered the room. there was possibly no way that such a generous looking fellow was so stern. well, there was one thing they got right: he really did seem like a dependable man. plus, he was quite good-looking if you did say so yourself. awestruck, it took you a few moments to snap out of your trance once you caught yourself staring, fumbling over your words in embarrassment as you introduced yourself. 
“uh, i’m y/n l/n from the card games club. the captain asked me to deliver these documents to you.” stepping forward to the desk, you shyly handed over the large stack, trying your best to avoid his gaze. you really hoped that everything was in order so that you could get out of there as soon as possible. your delivery was supposed to arrive today, and you wanted to get home on time to receive it. 
“it’s nice to meet you y/n.” at the sound of his voice, you couldn’t help but gush a bit. you couldn’t believe that you’d fallen for a few false rumors. he was a total sweetheart! or at least, from what you’ve seen. “i’m seiichiro minamoto, the student council president, though i’m sure you already know that.” the laugh that followed after was loud enough to make your heart jump, taken aback by the sudden noise. it also sounded so hearty and warm, however, that you couldn’t help but be flustered. seiichiro was shaping up to be a great guy. “let’s see now…” he muttered to himself as he scanned over the papers you had brought while you stood awkwardly in front of him, awaiting any feedback. it surely was anxiety-inducing, especially for someone that had never interacted with the president before. 
as you stood there, fidgeting and playing with your nails, you began to survey the room and the table, practically anything to avert your gaze from the male that was currently looking over the documents. the first thing that you notice is just how neat and tidy his desk was, despite the numerous papers that filled it. there was a clear system in place, and it was the definition of organization, something that you could only dream of achieving. the next thing you noticed was the sheer amount of papers that sat upon his desk. geez, did he really have to read over all of that, on top of solving disputes between students? seiichiro was nothing short of a superhero. the final thing that caught your eye, and the one that you were most shocked to see was a familiar cute puppy keychain he had on his lanyard. 
“is that a cinnamoroll keychain?” you gasped, forgetting the fact that you had just interrupted the student president. if your captain or any other club member was there with you, they would’ve surely scolded you for speaking out of line, not that it even mattered at that moment. that fact slipped your mind however as you focused at how cute cinnamoroll looked. you were excited to have found another fan of the adorable mascot, though you really weren’t expecting it to be the rumored stern student president of all things.  
“hm? oh, you’re talking about this.” seiichiro took hold of the keychain and held it up so that you could get a closer look. he smiled at the mention of cinnamoroll, cementing the fact that he was a fan which only made you that much more excited. “i take it that you’re a fan as well?”
“of course! cinnamoroll and his friends are so adorable. who couldn’t not love those large flappy ears of his or that cute cinnamon roll tail?” you gushed, all your remaining nerves and anxiety vanishing as you talked about your absolute favorite character. all the rules of etiquette, or at least those used when talking to the student president, were immediately forgotten the moment you found out that he was a fan as well. you had a hard time finding other fans of the mascot that were around you since most people simply told you to grow up and to stop fawning over such a “childish character.” it’s not like you could easily stop loving him though, especially when he’s helped you through some of your darkest times. cinnamoroll was like a friend to you, and you couldn’t just abandon him. needless to say, their opinions really only made you feel bad about yourself, and your love for cinnamoroll only seemed to grow. but now you had found someone who you could gush about him to, and you could finally share your love for cinnamoroll with no judgement at all. “say, have you ever met him?”
seiichiro couldn’t help but chuckle at your enthusiasm. he loved it though. i mean, it’s not everyday that he found another cinnamoroll superfan, especially during school activities. from then on, he just knew that the two of you would get along really well, bonding over your love of the same mascot. “yep, i’ve met him many times at puroland.” he smiled as he recalled all the times he’s met cinnamoroll. those were all fond memories of his, and seiichiro never got tired of meeting him. cinnamoroll always managed to relax and reassure him that he could get everything done. with his workload, it got hard for seiichiro to continue on at times due to burnout, and visiting cinnamoroll was sometimes the perfect remedy (coupled with rest of course). 
“lucky,” you mumbled. you had to admit that you were jealous that seiichiro had gotten to see cinnamoroll before, and at puroland of all places! it was one of your dreams to visit it and stroll around the cinnamoroll area, topping it off with finally being able to meet him. but it was also so cool that you knew someone who knew cinnamoroll. plus the fact that seiichiro had such cool and cute merch made you slightly envious as well. seiichiro was just so awesome, unlike all of those stern and uptight rumors you had previously heard. how come no one ever told you that he was a cinnamoroll fan as well? you would’ve been able to befriend him much sooner if that was the case. “i wish i could meet him someday.” 
“hm, well then y/n, would you like to come with me to puroland saturday?”
it took you a good few moments for you to process what had just happened. was the student council president, the seiichiro minamoto, asking you out on a date? the handsome, cool, and dependable seiichiro; the one right in front of you? of course it wasn’t a date though, just a hangout between friends. but you were so excited at that moment that your brain didn’t register it as the latter. not only would you get to hang out with seiichiro, but you would also be able to meet cinnamoroll. it was killing two birds with one stone!
“i-i’d love to! if you don’t mind that is,” you exclaimed, the excitement and nervousness clearly heard in your voice. it had come out of the blue so it made you extremely flustered. “then we can eat at the cinnamoroll café too!! my treat.” you internally squealed as you thought of your cinnamoroll-filled day that you were to spend with seiichiro in a few days. there were many plans for it that were buzzing around in your mind, but you knew that you had to narrow it down to a few ideas. there was no way that you could fit everything into one afternoon. 
“sounds like a plan.” with another smile of his, you felt your heart pound and your face flush. how did you get so lucky as to snatch a ‘date’ with someone as cute as him? “let’s exchange numbers.” the two of you pulled out your phones and began adding each other to your contacts, messaging one another a simple ‘hi’ to make sure that you were talking to the right person. “we can meet up at the nearest train station from here if that’s alright.” 
“that sounds good!” needless to say, you were giddy about the entire thing, and so was seiichiro though he didn’t outwardly show it. a day filled with cinnamoroll goodness spent side-by-side by another fan was exactly what you currently needed. besides, it’d be a chance for the two of you to bond over a shared interest and grow closer to one another. everything about it was just perfect. 
you couldn’t wait until saturday came by.
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haikyuu-agere-sfw · 3 years
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⚡️Snail Obsession⚡️
Goshiki x NB!Reader Goshiki shows off his special interest Reader uses they/them pronouns!
Goshiki and Y/N had never met before. The two didn't even know the other existed until high school. Both were accepted into Shiratorizawa and met on the first day during practice.
"Hi, I'm Goshiki! What's your name? Oh, and your pronouns! My pronouns are he/him if you were wondering, which you probably weren't since not a lot of people worry about pronouns since everyone bases gender on what uniform you wear nowadays. Ah, I'm rambling! I'm sorry!" He grinned sheepishly, a light blush on his cheeks.
"My name's Y/N L/N. I go by they/them pronouns." You admitted, half hoping he wouldn't make fun of you. There wasn't really a gender-neutral uniform.
"Really? Wow, that's cool! I don't think I've met someone with those pronouns. Can you give me an example? Is there a special way to use them or are they like plural pronouns for one person? I don't wanna accidentally upset you or something." He smiled wider and his hands did a little flappy motion that he quickly shoved into his pockets.
Ever since then you'd become close friends. He always made sure you felt safe and comfortable no matter where you were. He stood up for you even if the other person was terrifying, always made little jokes that you found funny, even started to try better at not hiding his stims because you encouraged it. You helped him break out of his "I'm supposed to be normal" shell and he helped you do the same. He always talked about his special interest, never saying what it was or what he did specifically. Just saying he spent a lot of time in the woods and riverbeds near his house and wherever he could find "them," whatever that meant.
"Do you want to see it?" He asked you one day.
"See what?" You asked, taking a bite of your sandwich. "The woods? I've seen that plenty of times."
"No, not the woods. My special interest. My obsession as my mom calls it." Goshiki smiled his usual wide smile. He should really stop doing that, it made your heart pick up a few beats, contagiously spreading to your own face.
"Sure, if you wanna show me." He smiled and stood up, offering a hand. You finished off your sandwich and let him help you up, then followed him as he practically ran to the river just outside school boundaries. Goshiki breaking the rules? You didn't expect it.
"They're here somewhere." He muttered, examining small rocks and the mud.
"Who's here Tsumotu?" You asked. He didn't answer and picked up what you thought was a shell of some washed-up clam or hermit crab. He let out a triumphant 'ah-hah' and turned, letting what you realized was a snail crawl over his palm.
"This is a Trapdoor Snail. Technically it's a Japanese Trapdoor Snail, but it's obviously Japanese, we are in Japan after all. They're super cool and they usually avoid humans but a lot of them are domesticated as pets, you can buy them almost anywhere right now. They look super cool." He began to ramble about all the different kinds of snails, interesting tidbits he thought you'd enjoy hearing, and his own dreams of having a snail..
"You're so cute." You said, not realizing you'd spoken aloud until his face turned bright red. "I- I mean- well the way- it's just that-" You covered your face in embarrassment.
"Y-you're pretty cute y-yourself, Y/N." He stuttered, smiling. "Uhm, so, wanna hunt snails after school?" He offered the Trapdoor snail awkwardly.
Smiling softly, you took it. "Sure, Tsumotu."
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resonanteye · 3 years
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via https://resonanteye.net/horror-reviews-day-2-slither-no/
horror reviews day 2: slither? no.
only one movie tonight: growth
1: I’ve seen that before. Slither? It’s a nice effect, parasites in the skin.
2: diabetes
3: I love a good news-montage intro. There’s something about it that makes me start to believe the movie could be real, this is how things first get scary in real life most of the time (unless you’re right on the scene)
4: ok, you’re going to use leeches to make people into super-people. I’m sure nothing will go wrong. this part of the intro is not as good, but then again, if we’re getting into scientific hubris I suppose an info dump is how it’s done. it just feels like this is half of the movie I wanted to watch, crammed into 30 seconds. this isn’t a sequel, there’s no excuse.
5: slither. it’s slither, but with “man playing god” instead of “aliens”
6: no service on the phones. will they have cell service with no explanation later? maybe.
7: by all means go back to an island that had some wild outbreak, and where people still apparently live? who are these people living there? how can they sell a house there? IT WAS ON THE NEWS
8: second outbreak, who’d a thunk it. and yes leave her alone in there? the hell. why are there “townspeople” on a damn plague island? the idea that it can’t be sold makes more sense and I believe it.
9: we’ve already seen a corpse and a violent murder, you can say “shit”.
10: these creatures are flappy. I like it. if they start sexing, they’re dead.
11: told ya. dude’s doomed.
12: oh please equalize these movies. the sonic blast of sound after people whispering for fifteen minutes! I use subtitles but it still got through.
13: so all this outbreak was NOT on the news? also: “parasites feed on adrenaline” is a great quote. also also: get in the damn car to the doctor, don’t look for cell service.
14: these leeches are cool. accordions are cool but are not a substitute for backstory.
15: why are you kidding a man that was just vomiting all over himself.
16: I would murder that alarm clock.
17: they don’t put him in a car to go the doctor, and now this infected island is his getting… threads of leeches from his leg. and he’s not getting laid twice. it doesn’t work that way. or wait- in slither, dude got a lady on the side. guess he will get laid twice.
18: I love the intuition. all right, it’s better than it was a minute ago. matrix fight scene included.
19: yep, slither. will she end up full of parasites, hidden in a barn, the size of a whale? hongry? looks like it.
20: using practical effects in a movie like this looks AMAZING after too much CGI
21: what in the entire wicker man remake is this shit
22: WORM MAN IN A LITTLE COAT
23: he’s walking. she’s running. for fuck sake. that’s some early horror we-don’t-know-better shit. there’s no reason a recent movie should do this, ever.
24: that’s two penetrative acts of violence so far.
25: again: why is anyone living on this island.
26: n95 masks, and they’re going to… beat him up. solid plan?
27: WORM MAN
28: I’m not going to show you worm man, but here’s an arm being turn off to be used as a weapon.
29: town sheriff just looks tired as hell. just has to keep shooting everyone, it’s the only thing he’s done in this movie.
30: shades of reanimator going on here. that’s pretty good. mad doctors and leeches. we already know the antidote’s in that stupid doll. just saunter out while he gives a monologue for the ages, excellent.
31: suddenly it’s a zombie movie, somehow it’s still not on the news.
32: diabetes to the rescue.
33: the CGI is really bad. it’s been, the whole time. I wish horror would go back to relying more on practical effects, with CGI used for anything BUT the monster/gore. my little website badly reviewing this one movie probably doesn’t mean much, but it’s how I feel.
34: oh here come the monologues.
35: what the hell kinda creature WANTS you to eat it
36: WHY ISN’T THIS BABY FULL OF LEECHES
37: oh of course it’s about a baby. thing should be full of leeches, but it’s now the central motivation. how about getting your brother the antidote? how about that? no. just a random baby.
38: shades of children of men. usually that would be a compliment but not now.
39: never make a sequel. this hint at it is bad.
6/10. I’m being generous because I loved slither. bad CGI, used way too much. bad ending notes. poorly built characters. half the movie is missing or contained in info dumps. good idea though.
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Do you have any headcanons for the first time sitches, Max, and Val go out together -K
HELLO BABES
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The first time stitches goes out with Maxwell is on accident, he stumbled upon her and Cujo at a park while he leaves his office to clear his head and ends up spending the day with you and the “mutt”. 
The first time Stitches and Valerie go out together is because val dragged her lingerie shopping because “I need something to wear under my dress at the gala.” and you end up being thrown lacy one pieces and downright obscene outfits that she “just has to see you in.”
But the first time they actually go out together is on accident! They're taking Alistair out for a “family day” (something they don’t often do) and they happen to see stitches there as well!
Mostly because their soon is v soft spoken and withdrawn, but slowly begins to open up with stitches and talk about the things he enjoys, not the things he has to do like school and summer lessons and cello (he thinks it’s just too big for his tiny body!)
One of the things he likes? Fish. Kid fucking loves fish. Will rattle off in your ear about fish until he dies PLEASE ask him about fish. 
So at some point after they stop by and check on her progress (which they really just do because they all enjoy her presence but theyll never admit it.) She tugs val and max to the side and mentions it. 
“You know, you should take the kid out sometime. As a family.” She offers. “The aquarium is a great place for it, I think he’d really like it.”
Maxwell’s face scrunches up at the mention of the aquarium, fish and poor people all packed in one building together? No thank you. 
But before he can even say anything she’s already cut him off. “I’m not trying to be a backseat driver or anything but-” she smiles, a touch shy and reminiscent. Something they aren’t used to seeing from the snarky seamstress. “My pops would always take me, it was one of my favorite places to go. Still is really, but little stuff like that means the world to kids.” 
Valerie ignores the way her heart cinches up at the way she shows such care for their son. 
“It’s just a suggestion.”
So that Saturday, Maxwell Lord has taken the day off of work and is crinkling his nose at the smell of the public aquarium while his son stares at the tanks in awe. 
“It smells like fish.” He grumbles under his breathe, his wife rolled her eyes at his astute observation. 
“It’s an aquarium maxwell, there’s nothing here but fish.” Her eyes widen at a pair of teenagers sucking face in front of the lionfish. “Well, fish and apparently horny children.”
“Why did I let you convince me to do this?” Maxwell has already stolen a glance at his watch. “I could be-”
“Dad look!”
Maxwell’s head whipped up, heart guarded by gold practically melting at the sight of his son watching the sea turtles with glee. “That one is waving at me!”
His wife smiled, intertwining her fingers with his as she began to walk towards Alastair. “That’s why.”
Alastair spent the day zipping from exhibit to exhibit, rattling off facts about each fish that made the actual employees surprised. Maxwell loved seeing such passion in his son, so he did his best to reciprocate. 
The issues was he knew fuck all about fishes. 
“That’s a manta ray!” His soon looked up at the glass dividing them, watching the creatures glide through the water as if they were flying. “Their wingspan can reach more than twenty feet.”
“Hm yes.” Maxwell looked at them with a contemplative nod before speaking. “Very wide indeed, and....flappy.”
His wife coughed into her hand to hide her laughter. 
The Lords felt ready to pass out into the plastic and hardly comfortable chairs in the food court when their son saw a sign in front of the darkened doorway of a room that seemed enveloped in a purple light. 
They read the wording and felt the aches in their feet as they knew they wouldn’t get a break anytime soon. 
“JELLYFISH!”
As tired as they both felt, the parents couldn’t be happier. Valerie’s feet were pinched by her heels with each step and Maxwell was no doubt sweating in his suit but to see their son giggling and running with excitement, finally being a child, was worth every ache and pain they endured. 
The room had no overhead lights, most of, if not all of the lighting came from the jellyfish themselves or their tanks. Some were deep purples as the slowly moved through the water, growing big then small in little thrusts the pushed them along. Others were electric blues and shaped like tiny mushrooms gently drifting around the tank. Some were big, with appendages like shreds as the slowly moved without motive, with couldn’t help but unsettle Maxwell as he stared at them. 
It was oddly captivating. 
“You’re a good man maxwell.” Valerie spoke to him as they both stared at the jellyfish. She gave his hand a comforting squeeze. He wasn’t sure when exactly, but along the past few months he’d begun to see her in a different light. He didn’t feel a twinge of annoyance at her prescience anymore, but instead he felt it when she wasn’t there, off-kilter and incomplete like a piece of him was missing. Fucking his secretaries now made him feel sick to his stomach and he had stopped doing so last week. She wasn’t a burden weighing him down, she was now his anchor. 
He hadn’t told her of these feelings yet. Or his feelings for you. 
Maxwell looked over at his son, staring in a trance at the jellyfish with a smile. “I’ve never seen him so happy before.”
She knew what he meant to say. 
“I know Max.”
His wife’s blue eyes caught a glint against the tank and turned, on the other side of the room a chain rested against a woman’s chest as she watching a tank of jellyfish with a calming smile. The blue light dances across her face and curls, making her look nearly ethereal in the slightly crowded room. 
She turned and walked over, tugging Maxwell along with her until she was right behind you. Stitches eyes widened when she saw their reflecting against the tank glass before it melted into a cool smile. “Fancy seeing you two here.”
“Three actually.” Maxwell corrected. “I believe it’s you I have to thank for my aching feet while chasing around a fish-happy eight year old.”
She snorted, the imagine of him tired and achy in his three piece suits was just too good to give up. “If you want me to say I’m sorry you’re looking in the wrong place.”
He sighed, letting his hands fall to his hips as he arched his back with a loud pop! “Actually-” He furrowed his brows and took a deep breathe. “I’m here to thank you.”
“Thank me?” Stitches took a step back in surprise and he groaned. 
“Don’t make a big deal out of this.”
“Oh no, too late.” she set your hands on your hips, eyes shut as she basked in the information. “Say it again, I need to remember this moment.”
He looked over to his wife, who raised her hands in defense. “You’re the one who took her advice.”
Maxwell pointed an accusatory finger between the two women. “You know, I really hate that you two are best friends now. You know that?”
His wife simply blew him a kiss in response. 
“Alastair is overjoyed, he has been all day.” Out of the corner of her eye Stitches sees the boy in question turn to face the three of you with a gasp. 
“I have you to thank for that.” Was all his father could get out before she felt a tiny body ram into her side. 
“Stitches!”
Stitches smiled and crouched down, ruffling his hair. “What’s up little man?”
She were special to their son, special to them all. They weren’t sure how to tell her or if they ever would, but now they would settle for sitting in the cramped food court with their seamstress, eating greasy food their son begged for while he told her about the length of whale sharks. 
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i want your thoughts on doctorclara, the eleventh doctor, and i want you to rank the new who companions
doctorclara
when I started shipping it if I did: gather round the fire, lads. search back, if you will, to shortly after jlc was announced as the new companion. matt did an interview where he mentioned the relationship between the doctor and clara was different to the relationship between he and amy because the dynamic with clara was flirtatious and had some romantic tension. i had some mixed feelings about this - i was a little disappointed there was going to be another doctor/companion romance, as i felt this was played out  (i’ve since changed my mind on the doctor/companion romance thing quite a bit, as i think it’s really more of a fandom thing than an actual problem with the series but it was how i felt at the time and i digress). however, i was also rather tired of the doctor/river romance as i thought it was poorly handled in s6, and i was intrigued by the idea of seeing eleven in a new romance... but i really didn’t want there to be a love triangle as well. so with all those mixed up thoughts, i went into the snowmen. (asylum of the daleks din’t really make an impression on me until after i watched it again with the context of the clara echoes.) i thought they were pretty cute, but my reluctance to have another doctor/companion romance was still a thing. plus, i began to become more suspicious of how the doctor was treating clara like a mystery to be solved instead of a person, which seems rather manic pixie dream girl to me (it should be said, i don’t think it’s bad writing or marketing i felt this way... i don’t think you should be required to broadcast ahead of time you’re planning to subvert a trope when it appears you’re playing it straight initially. it does make me really sad that apparently a lot of people didn’t stick with enough to see the glorious payoff of the subversion though ). so i continued into the start of 7b with similar feelings of ‘cute but i’m not going to ship it because of x, y, z...’, but with each passing episode it became harder and harder to deny i was reeeeally into their dynamic  (in hindsight, it feels so goofy how i made it a Thing i wasn’t going to ship another doctor/companion romance and actively fought against liking it, but whatever, i was in high school and even more pretentious than i am now). the breaking point for me was ‘hide’. dear reader, i MELTED at ‘this isn’t a ghost story, it’s a love story’  (my otp tag for a reason!). it was a full-blown crisis. i knew i was here to stay. with each passing episode, matters escalated. it was the series 7 finale that made me realize i was watching one of the greatest love stories ever. i cannot stress enough how formative clara diving into the doctor’s timesteam was for me. the poetry, the tragedy, the romance. it was a revelation. it was only the tip of the iceberg for what was to come, as we now know, but those are the big turning points in my shipper journey w/ them.
my thoughts: the most epic love story we have ever seen in our mortal lives. somehow got better with every episode. i’m supposed to like other ships after seeing how romance can be done on this level? what a joke. two and a half billion years, y’all. two and a half billion years...
What makes me happy about them: the obvious cute stuff - the lack of personal space, the doctor acting like a schoolboy, clara playing it cool but really being just bad, the fake dating, the banter. from both of their point of view, the other was the one who pursued the relationship; eleven had clara coming onto his cloud, clara had eleven standing outside her window. that is seriously adorable.  but then, the deeper stuff like how clara knows him on a fundamental level no one else does. she knew the war doctor hadn’t used the moment yet when ten and eleven didn’t because she can just see him. the doctor makes himself vulnerable to her willingly, even with all the barriers he puts up every day of his life. he cries in front of her, he takes her hand, he shows her unconditional love even when she acts cruelly. she’s so afraid to lose control but when she does in the worst way, he lets her know that could never make a difference. she’s shaped his life in so many ways from being a voice his head to always being just out of sight watching his back. he listens to her and she changes his world, she saves his world. they are fundamental equals despite being so different. 
What makes me sad about them: two and a half BILLION years. you look at me and you can’t see me. twelve strumming his guitar while clara goes into her tardis. clara whispering please don’t change and trying to take his hand. but he never sees me... almost never. will you come away with me. if you love me in any way, you’ll come back. she might meet someone she can’t bear to lose. clara, my clara. we’ve already had enough bad timing. stay with me... nah. let me save you. secrets keep us safe--we aren’t SAFE. people like you and me, we should say things to one another. listen, i could go all night. 
things done in fanfic that annoys me: i don’t know there’s a specific pattern that jumps out? there are definitely times i’m like this is a mess but i don’t know there’s a clear trend that jumps out. back when s12 started there were fics that made the doctor more dark and dominant than he was, but thankfully those died out as his character developed more. i would definitely say denying or undercutting danny’s significance to clara is an issue, although unfortunately it isn’t limited to whouffle fic. but clara would not be who she is if she didn’t know and love danny pink, and that is important. 
things I look for in fanfic: it can vary quite a bit depending on my mood. they are the entire spectrum of my romance likes lol.  i love the angst of clara’s echoes and the possible implications of that, series 7b attraction/mistrust, series 8 pining, and all that good old fashioned memory erasing fallout. i also love domestic fluff and fix its where they end up together again or the doctor finds out about clara being the voice from his youth. i love seeing different doctors w clara, i love post episode fics where they just react to everything they went through with one another. i’m versatile!
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: to me, they are like the definition of soulmates. i can and do ship them with other people, but for me it will always be the doctor for clara and clara for the doctor at the end. ‘ending up with’ is sort of a loose concept given they’re both close to immortal. i think they will both live and love with other people, just as they loved other people before they properly met. but their love saved worlds, lasted billions of years, and was so universe altering the time lords had a prophecy about them ages upon ages ago. that is some some last of the real ones, ‘ultra kind of love you never walk away from’ right there.
My happily ever after for them: in my head, the doctor and clara meet again properly after a few centuries apart and probably a regeneration or two. their distance and new perspective only causes them to reaffirm their love and travel the universe together - sometimes splitting up when there’s a need but always ‘together’ - until they both eventually face their ravens.
who is the big spoon/little spoon: usually the doctor is the big spoon and clara is the little spoon, but sometimes they will change it up if it is a specific time clara is trying to help the doctor feel comforted and secure.
what is their favorite non-sexual activity: not to state the obvious, but traveling in space and time
eleven
How I feel about this character: he is my favorite doctor. more than any of the other doctors, i truly believe that he is ancient and operates on a different morality plane than a typical human would understand. he has so many layers to him that i find interesting: the contrast of his childish behavior and being older than we can conceive. the silver of ice in his heart - i love that; ten and nine ran hot, but eleven ran cold and i found that darkness that allowed him to lock out old amy or sneer that humans weren’t capable of playing games with him to be much scarier and much more fascinating. i love that he keenly feels the weight of his name, his promise. i love his obsession with goofy things like fezzes and his flappy hands. i love how selfish and selfless he is. he is THE doctor to me and i love him.
All the people I ship romantically with this character: see ABOVE. there are a couple other characters i ship the doctor as a whole with, but speaking specifically of eleven, i do have a soft spot for eleven/rose - moreso than almost any other doctor/rose combination for some strange reason. i also feel like the eleven/amy relationship sort of goes beyond labels, but it is one of my very favorite relationships and there is certainly a sense in which it is romantic. 
My non-romantic OTP for this character: the doctor and amy are one of my very favorite relationship, and even with my caveat above, i would ultimately think of them not as a couple, so i think they go here. i literally have a 20 page word doc in my computer that’s just me doing second rate analysis of their relationship episode by episode. that potent mixture of idealization/devotion/disillusionment/codependence/hope/not being able to let go yet being unable to move on... it gets me.
My unpopular opinion about this character: who knows what popular opinions are in the who fandom anymore, but back when eleven’s era was airing there was a common criticism that he lost the moral compass nine/ten had, especially w/ the no killing thing. i find this to be a phenomenally stupid reading and one with a selective memory. in fact, while eleven does break his own rules and kill people, just like nine and ten do, i feel he’s certainly held far more accountable for when he does than they ever were.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i wish his manipulative behavior towards the people he loves would have been dealt with more. to a certain degree, i think that trait will always be present in the doctor and is kind of necessary for the show as a whole so i understand not fully resolving it, but i feel like he lies and manipulates as much in his last episode as much as his first without any real growth. when you look at how this was handled with twelve, where he really got called out on it and started to grow... it’s kind of unsatisfying how eleven just stayed static in that regard
my OTP: take a wild guess
my cross over ship: none i can immediately think of....
a headcanon fact: while he needs less sleep than a human, the doctor likes to pretend he doesn’t need to sleep at all which often leads to him finally dozing off in bizarre places/times (doing a tardis repair he insists he needs to be upside down for). rory is very concerned but doesn’t know enough about time lord biology to confront him.
ranking nuwho companions  (s1-s10, as i’m not caught up and don’t want to reflect on the newest companions until i’ve seen all that’s available, and only doing the major hitters)
clara oswald, who i must shockingly reveal is one of my favorite characters ever in anything.
martha jones, who we never deserved.
amy pond, who means the world to me because of our shared mental health issues.
bill potts, who is so full of kindness, wonder, and joy.
donna noble, who is bursting with life and humor and had a horrible, horrible ending.
rose tyler, who would be higher on this list if i were just looking at series one but whose character arc i felt got significantly derailed the longer she stayed on the show.
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mysweetkittae · 6 years
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BTS LOVE YOURSELF TOUR: LONDON DAY 2 (10/10/18)
I recorded most of the concert so to see the videos please check my pinned thread on twitter (@bunkook20)
Let me just say right from the start that the UK LOVED Jin, and when I say that they loved him I mean that every SINGLE time he appeared on screen, whether in the MVs, the videos in between or just Jin himself, everyone LOST IT and screamed their lungs out to the high heavens. It was amazing.
I was in lower tier seating so I can’t say for sure since I wasn’t in standing myself, but every time I looked over everyone was being really respectful and no one was pushing (at least on my side) which made me really happy!
Also! All of the security and staff at the arena that I came across were really lovely too!
Maybe around 5 minutes before the concert was supposed to start an annoucement came from the translator that Jungkook wouldn’t be performing again because of his injury. He was apologising loads on their behalf but we were all like IT’S OKAY DON’T WORRY WE LOVE YOU!
A quick note on Jungkook: you could tell he wasn’t feeling well throughout the concert. He was very playful of course and was smiling and singing beautifully as always, but at times you could tell from his face that he was frustrated/upset at the situation which broke my heart because it’s not his fault :( He was also limping a bit when he walked, which shocked me because at that point we didn’t know that he had stitches on his heel and it made me really sad because I love him so much and the last thing I want is for him to be hurt and feel guilty about it :(( But, there was pretty much always a member with him and playing with him so thankfully baby bun was never too lonely! He definitely smiled the most and looked happiest when they were around him T-T
They went back to playing MVs after that, and played DNA, Mic Drop, and Fake Love. I think the concert started abut 10 mins late? 
THEN, my friends, the concert began with the beginning video and it was so pretty and magical.
Idol started playing next and I swear, as soon as the doors opened and they walked out I felt my body ascend to another plane and enter a state of pure bliss. For all these years I had only seen them through a screen, but now I was breathing the same air as them and looking at them with my own two eyes? Unfathomable. Also I could feel the heat of the fire from where I was sitting so I can’t even imagine how hot it must have been for them :/
Next was their opening ment and it was so surreal to hear them speaking and akdjakjfafa idk it was weird to expereince that but they sound so beautiful ;-; I kept saying hi back to them like the idiot I am lmao I couldn’t help it they were so adorable T-T Namjoon mentioned Jungkook’s injury and made sure to remind people to be mindful of their neighbours because he is the king of safety and we Respect that in this household.
They performed a bit of Save Me and all of I’m Fine but because I’m an absolute buffoon I forgot to press record so I’m really annoyed because I really love that song :( BUT at least I watched with my eyes and so I have the memory of it :’) It was an amazing performance and I loved it so much :(
They had their second ment here and then performed Magic Shop (one of my faves) which is just pure evil because how can they hit us with the feels so early on and expect us to be okay?? I was not fine. But it was so beautiful with all the purple lights and everyone singing together and it made me feel all warm and so happy :( You could really feel the love in the air
Just Dance was here but because I continued to be stupid I frickin forgot to press record again!!!! I’m super angry at myself. Hoseok though, his charisma and the way he entrances the crowd is insane! And his dancing!! omfg he is honest to god one of the best dancers I have seen in my entire life. He’s so mesmerising and you couldn’t take your eyes off him for even a second.
After this was Euphoria, which is one of my favourite songs ever because it makes me so happy and like everything is going to be okay. Jungkook has the most beautiful, soothing voice and I just can’t describe how hearing him made me feel. It made me feel like I was safe. He kept looking at the crowd with so much adoration and the most beautiful of smiles and he was listening to us singing along and it made me so happy because he looked so happy :(
I Need U was straight after and this made me !!! because this was the song that changed my life and made me an army so hearing it live made me totes emosh :(
Run was pretty hype and Joonie got us all jumping so it was really fun!
Serendipity!! Jimin has so much stage presence it’s crazy, it was truly a magical performance and it felt like we were all in a trance. He also kept putting his hand up his shirt to make it do the flappy doodle thing which was the epitome of rudeness :)) He is a beautiful dancer and you’d be a fool to deny it.
Love started and it was so much fun! He really knows how to work a crowd, everyone was singing and it was like we were all performing together aajfakfak I loved it. I also really liked Joonie’s jacket. idk if it’s clear in the video but at the end when the members were joining him on stage Jungkook was walking really slowly and that’s when I first saw that he was limping :(
DNA was amazing but all I could focus on was how sparkly Jimin was. I loved it. I love sparkly things. I’m like a magpie... or a niffler. ANyway, baby bun did as much of the choreo as he could in his chair and the members kept looking at him when they were singing at it was so cute huhu they love him so much he’s their precious baby.
They had another quick ment here before the medley of Dope, Go Go, Blood Sweat Tears, Boy In Luv and Fire. Jin and Jimin were playing with Jungkook so much it was the cutest thing and Jungkook had the biggest smile TT-TT
Airplane Pt2 was super fun but also kinda sensual and idk how to explain the feeling but it’s like there was something radiating from my chest throughout my body and I Felt It(TM) in my soul okay? 
FAKE LOVE!!! tbh I had forgotten that they might perform this lmao so it was a super pleasant surprise! I really love this song and the energy from them and the crowd was amazing. The video didn’t pick it up very well smh but the fanchants were so good! Especially for the WHY YOU SAD? IDK NAN MOLLA lmao it was like we were a cult summoning the devil it was Great. Also! At the end when jinkook are supposed to do their arm thing together Jungkook did it from his chair with Jin in the actual formation so they did it together but from a distance :(
Seesaw omfg I love this song so much and I was looking forward to it so much and it did not disappoint. It’s such a good song and such a good performance and he has such a pretty voice and I really really liked it ;-; Everyone went wild for when he slid down the bench it was so cool omg. The fanchants during the bit at the end could’ve been better but it definitely wasn’t bad and people were screaming loads! I would’ve done the fanchants better myself but my voice was hoarse from my cold before the concert even started and progressively got worse as it went on since I was screaming so much that by this point I was struggling to breathe and trying my best not to choke to death in the midde of the performance and have it be caught on camera because y’know, Priorities. 
SING.U.LA.RI.TY. Oh my goodness gracious me this performance was something else. The dance he does at the beginning with his hand was so sensual and mesmerising and I honestly couldn’t look away. It was so realistic as well, I obviously knew that there was no one there but it looked so real that if you told me that it was someone else’s hand I would’ve totally believed you. Also his hands are ridiculously beautiful. The first thing I noticed was how perfect Tae’s live was. Obviously they’re all amazing live and have been in all of the performances, as has Tae himself, but in this song it’s unlike anything I’ve heard before. It literally literally genuinely truly sounded EXACTLY like the studio version to an almost scary point. This man is an incredibe singer and if you can’t see or hear that god help your soul.  
Oh god Epiphany. This was the performance I think everyone was looking forward to, and you can clearly hear it with how loud everyone was screaming. Jin looked absolutely ethereal with his parted hair and beautiful face and beautiful voice and beautiful jacket. His voice has so much emotion that just pierces through your heart. This man has a true gift that is impossible to deny. Every was singing “I’m the one I should love” together and whether that was something we believed in or not, in that moment we all truly loved ourselves, and there’s nothing more beautiful than that. Listening to Jin sing Epiphany surrounded by the most beautiful lights... I felt at peace. I felt safe.
If Epiphany wasn’t emotional enough they went straight into The Truth Untold and I do not lie when I say that the emotions were tangible. Every single one of them looked angelic in their gorgeous outfits and their voices were like honey and I felt so light but my heart felt heavy at the same time? It was a very bizarre feeling. Everyone was singing along and it really was so beautiful. Jungkook’s adlibs at the end and Jimin’s change of the high note were incredible and if I didn’t have such a stone cold heart then I’m sure I would’ve cried like I thought I would. 
Listen. I had seen so many fancams so I KNEW that Outro Tear came immediately after The Truth Untold, but nothing could’ve prepared me for how insane that performance was. Not only for the whiplash it gave me since the previous 2 performances were so emotional, but the 3 of them are such phenomenal rappers and have so much control and power over the stage and audience that it’s almost terrifying. You couldn’t keep your eyes off them even if you tried. They each have their unique styles but the way they come together so perfectly and beautifully is unbelievable. I have no idea how they manage to show such individualty yet perfect synchronicity at the same time, but they do and it truly is a sight to see. They are a force to be reckoned with and I know for a fact that down the line they are going to have such important roles in shaping the music industry. Don’t ever doubt their abilities, not even for a second.
Next was Mic Drop, which Namjoon announced was the last song and I was like??? How??? It honestly only felt like it had been about half an hour but it had been 2 hours. Jungkook didn’t come out for this performance, not even sitting on a chair, so the whole time in the back of my mind I was really worried about him. This is only speculation of course so don’t take it as the truth or anything, but he really must not have been feeling well for him not to even be able to sit on a chair. Either he was in loads of pain or he fainted or something?? idk, I just hope it wasn’t too bad :( They just played the backing track for his parts with the members sometimes singing over it too. The performance itself was amazing though! They had so much energy and the dance break was the bomb dot com.
After this the main part of the concert had officially ended and the girls next to me were asking each other if it was over so I was like no no don’t worry there’s an encore they’re coming back! Don’t leave yet!
After some time it was ARMY TIME so everyone held up their banners and it was so nice! So What had started, which I was surprised about because I thought that they’d want us to hold the banners up during a slower, more emotional song but nope. So What was the hypest song out of the entire concert and everyone was jumping so much and it was just so so so much fun?? 
Jungkook was back for this performance but it was very obvious that he wasn’t doing well. He was singing fine and trying to be playful but you could see in his eyes and his face that he wasn’t okay, which is why I feel like he might have felt faint before or something, though I’m still just speculating so don’t hold it again me. Jin stayed by his side for basically the whole time and walked slowly with him down the ramp to the extended stage and!! You guys, when Jungkook did the shoot dance, although it was very slow he looked so so happy, it made my heart melt :( I’m glad he was able to do it because honestly that was one of the times he smiled the biggest :( Jin did it together with him and it was so sweet and I’m just so glad they all have each other to look out for them. Taejin had their Moment again it was fantastic. There was lots of cuteness throughout the whole thing and they looked like they were having so much fun! It made me very happy.
Anpanman was super fun and very enjoyable! It really is such a cute song uwu it made me smile a lot :’) Jungkook was looking at the audience a lot for this one and doing as much of the dance as possible in his chair what a cutie pie and Joonie and Jimin played with him too and he kept laughing uwu uwu this song was too much for me.
Then it was time for their ending ment. They started off with such a sweet event for us :( They made the army bombs turn rainbow coloured and took a picture with the arena in the background and it was so lovely :( Also lmao Hobi said it was photo time with an American accent, but Joon corrected him saying that is was “phoTo” with the enunciated ‘T’ sound like you say with an English accent if that makes sense?? It was really funny and after that Hobi kept saying photo with the harsh T and it was adorable. Joon then went on to say that Yoongles was going to do his ment first but he kept saying “sweetie sweetie sweetie suga” in an English accent again and alfjfkjfna I love him ma
Yoongs had his bling bling SUGA rings on and they were so sparkly! He was so smiley and just super cute. He repeatedly talked about how they were going to see us again soon so I’m certain that they’re coming back next year with either an epilogue tour or something so Wembley you better be prepared because next time we’re coming for you.
Hobster spoke in English and it was so good and it never fails to amaze me how hard he tries for all of his comments in all of the concerts. He was totes making fun of us though, when we said aww because he was sad it was the last concert day he said aww back and I felt the mockery but he’s so flippin adorable I don’t understand how can one human being possibly have so much power to make so many people happy it doesn’t make sense I don’t understand.
Tae. Eyebrows. Rude. He was being super cute talking about how he had seen London in movies (none that I knew of because he is evidently much more cultured than I am) and that he thought it was such a beautiful place and that armys were beautiful too (what a flirt). He then went on to saying some word but honest to god I hadn’t the faintest clue what he was saying and neither did my friend or anyone else around me and in the video you can hear a very faint “what?” because I was just so confused lmao. Apparently he said bloodclat? but I’m not from London so I have no idea what that means and I’m still no wiser. Twas a very confuzzling time.
Jin. Jinnie. Kim Seokjin. My man. My bro. Dude. Please stop looking so handsome, it hurts me. He was talking about how he looked like Kingsman and that next time he’ll dress up like Harry Potter. I’m holding that promise to you Jin, don’t let me down. At that point Namjoon said “shut up Malfoy” like he did in that one vlive last year(?) and it was so funny I couldn’t stop laughing why must they be so adorable?? 
Jimin was next and he kept saying that everything was lovely again and again and it was so sweet and oh my god he is literally the cutest thing ever I love him so much he is such a precious person please protect him 5eva. He also said that he wanted to come back so Jimbles! I’m holding that promise to you too don’t let me down.
Baby bun was next and he was apologising for not being able to show us more but we all just screamed NOOOOOOO really loudly because we love our precious baby in this household and he must never apologise for something that was out of his control :( Even though he was injured he still gave it his all and did his best and his health and happiness is more important than anything else!! We don’t need to see him perform, we just need him to be healthy.
Nimnams was next and my god he was so radiant. At first he tried doing an English accent but he quickly gave up on it lmao what a cutie pie I love him. He said that he fell in love with London and that it really inspired him and that he might write a song called London and we all just went !!! Because with Jungkook being injured in London it would’ve been understandable for them to associate the UK with negative feelings because that’s just how human brains work, but the fact that they seemed to have loved it so much and were inspired by it and want to write a song about it? It just made me feel so proud. I hope that when they come back they get the chance to travel around a bit because there is so much to see and it has such a different vibe to London and I’m sure they’d love it! He said how he was proud of himself for chosing this path in life and becoming a part of BTS and therefore being able to come to London :( This boy completely owns my heart and I would do anything for him :(
After this was the last song, Love Yourself Answer, but I didn’t have much space left on my phone so I couldn’t record it :( It was so lovely though and as one of my favourite songs it made my heart all wibbly wobbly :( Tae was on my side a lot and was beng super duper cute and it was the best. Jungkook’s seat was still in the middle so the members were playing with him lots and being all round cutie pies. Everyone was singing “you’ve shown me I have reasons I should love myself” and it was so beautiful to hear people saying that to themselves and actually believing it in that moment. This was another song that made my heart happy and made me feel very peaceful and like everything was okay in the world.
Then it was the ending and they were walking around the extended stage and waving to us all. Jimin kept saying that we were lovely and Tae said I purple you and urgh it was just so incredible and magical. They thanked their dancers and bowed with them and we all screamed for them too! There was loads of confetti and it was so so so beautiful. 
It ended then, and I remember suddenly feeling so empty. The past 2 and a half hours had without a doubt been the best of my life and the fact that I has seen bts live with my own eyes and been in the same place as them was still hard to comprehend.
One thing I can say for sure though is that they truly love performing on stage. They must have been so exhausted with how crazy their schedules have been, but they were constantly smiling and had high energy and put on the best performance that they could. Never once did I feel like they were being forced to do something they didn’t want to do, not like I sometimes feel with some other singers. No words can fully express how genuinely happy they looked to be on stage, and that in itself makes me so happy. Knowing that they are doing something that they love so much and are so passionate about is incredible and I hope that they are able to do the things they want to do for a long time. Anyone watching them can feel the amount of love they have for the stage, each other, and us.
And that’s the thing - people can try and dissect them and figure out what the ‘bts formula’ is as much as they want, but they will never find the answer; because you cannot formulate love, and you cannot formulate authenticity. Every moment since the creation of the universe led them to where they are today. It led them to each other, the most beautiful of soulmates, and it led us to them, our guardian angels who came into our lives when we needed them the most. Everything that has happened in our lives, both the good and the bad, led us to the moment where we discovered bangtan, and something in us told us that this was where we belonged. We all come from so many different walks of life, so many different journeys and destinations, yet here we all are, coming together because of these 7 beautiful boys with even more beautiful hearts, and intertwining our lives with one another. Despite all odds, we survived, and we’re living this life together; and that is nothing short of a miracle.
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blackhatcannons · 7 years
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Casual Black Hatcannons
The people have decided. The list is long (so it’s under the read more.) Happy 324 <3
Prior to arriving on Earth, Black Hat didn’t need sleep. He can still go much longer than a normal human without rest, but his mood can become fouler and fouler without the occasional break from having to do so much stuff/be around other annoying people
He’s able to have dreams (even though they’re often weird and narcissistic), and will sometimes spend time sleeping just to see if his subconscious can generate any ideas for new inventions to sell
Honestly as long as he gets some time to just sit down and not have to do anything (or even keep up his normal physical form) he’s basically asleep. For eldritch abominations like himself, it basically means letting his consciousness wander freely as he shuts down any physical functions. His form tends to get a little... less human-ish looser, when this happens
Black Hat doesn’t brush his teeth. (or floss.) First of all, his body is self-cleansing, so he normally doesn’t have to worry about showering and hygiene in general. Particles of dirt and blood and other toxins are normally absorbed through his clothes and skin, and then broken down inside his body.
Not to mention he has semi-acidic saliva. It’s not extremely corrosive, but it works well enough to keep his mouth clean between meals.
That being said, he’s lost teeth before. Chipped them, broken them, misplaced them– It’s fine though. he has teeth like a shark. literally, there are so many of them holy shit. They grow in rows and the new ones can replace the old ones very quickly.
When he transitioned from existing in a multidimensional plane to a less-multidimensional one, he never really realized that human bodies and clothes were two separate things. When he first designed his physical shape, he made his suit out of, well, the same material as himself. The clothes are just as sentient and sensory as the rest of him, and if someone touched his coat he’d turn around and be like “what.” It’s like having really snazzy looking skin that doesn’t have to be fully attached to your body and can also start growing eyes and teeth whenever you’re mad.
He never really got a full course in human anatomy, but it’s close enough, he thinks..? it’s just missing like all the organs. and a soul.
As a consequence of not knowing what the fuck a human is, BH also doesn’t know what the fuck gender is. He just sees humans, and humans are fucking morons so honestly who cares what they call themselves. it’s just easier to go with whatever pronouns they say than actually try to guess their genders (congrats BH on not being transphobic)
The old flash shorts (pilot version) of Black Hat was actually BH’s first attempt at making a human form. He later reshaped himself to “be more edgy”: becoming taller, narrowing his face, changing the design on his hat, etc.
After a hard day’s work, Black Hat can sometimes be so lazy that he wears his coat (and hat) to bed. Won’t even take off his shoes. Nasty. (Ofc he has his edgy villain pajamas he could change into but, eh. too much time.)
He can still take his clothes off, but they’ll eventually dissipate if separated from him long enough. It’s easier for him to just change the appearance of whatever his clothes (skin) currently looks like. He can still feel sensations through them, but it becomes harder to categorize them as “good” or “bad” the further away from his nerves they get
BH used to eat food like an amoeba. (He normally eats as a way to regain mass if he’s injured or needs to shapeshift.) But when encountering “prey”, his physical form kind of turns to a fleshy goop of teeth and eyes and blades that encircle whatever food it is; then he reforms. He only stopped eating like that bc it wasn’t classy enough. Utensils and etiquette are crucial for fancy villains- only dinner parties
BH likes to stay unnaturally light though. more mass makes him slow and he doesn’t like it when people are faster than him. He can also rapidly change the density of the particles in his body, mostly for fighting. It’s hilarious to see a hero break their hand trying to punch you.
BH’s body temperature depends on the environment he’s in. In the summer, he absorbs light really easily and is therefore around 90 (it’s the closest he can naturally get to human-temperatured without purposely changing it), while in the winter, he can be 30 or 45 degrees. Normally he will be 70 degrees (around room-temp), which still means his body is unnaturally cool. He can modify that as well though, and can decide if he wants to basically be a walking black ice cube or the temperature of hell’s oven. BH can’t feel temperature though, so it doesn’t really matter to him.
Those claws on his hands are a fucking pain. He can’t use a smartphone bc he doesn’t have fingerprints and his skin can’t conduct electricity. So he uses a fucking Nokia flip phone or a Blackberry, anything with buttons he can actually press
then again he sucks at technology in general, he knows more about gramophones than iPhones. Flug has been teaching him, but it’s a ...work in progress….. (”FLUG I BROKE IT AGAIN.” “Boss you shouldn’t play Flappy Bird if you have claws that can pierce through phones....”)
His hands are kind of like cat paws, the claws will normally slip out if he’s angry (99% of the time) or if he’s actually relaxed enough to just let them go (1%– you may now picture BH kneading a blanket and accidentally fucking eviscerating it)
His toes are just like his fingers, but he can’t afford to let them slip out. Otherwise he’ll pierce through his shoes and then it’s a pain to get them unstuck; he hates it.
(He let Dementia paint his nails ONCE (it was her birthday) and still hasn’t taken it off tbh. Ofc he can never tell her that.)
Once he caught Flug watching “How It’s Made” and he was about to go on one of his angry lectures again. but then he got distracted bc “wait, THAT’S HOW THEY MAKE FILIGREE GLASS?”
BH actually sits down next to Flug on the couch and they just silently watch it together. “How… how the hell do they get that all the same diameter?” “It’s really incredible, boss.” “They just, change the shape like that?? What the fuck???”
BH doesn’t speak of it again. Flug forgets about it until he walks into his office to deliver a report and hears something about “now they set the haggis out on cooking trays, and pierce each casing so–”
Black Hat thROWS HIS COMPUTER OUT THE WINDOW. TRYING TO ACT CHILL.
“Boss were you watching–” “AH YES FLUG HELLO WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU.” “Boss, it’s okay. I mean, the haggis episode is disgusting, but i really don’t care. here’s the report... Should I buy a new computer?” “……..yes.”
when he’s not watching How It’s Made he watches cheesy telenovelas WHAT
Don’t you dare fucking tell me these guys dont all watch telenovelas together on the couch with a fuckload of snacks as they all eagerly await the next moment BH loses his shit
“JUAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOW COULD YOU BETRAY MARIA LIKE THAT?!?! That man is the most evil character i’ve ever seen, take notes 5.0.5″ “Boss... you’re crying” “WHAT NO I’M NOT HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT WHAT THE FUCK”
BH’s favorite genre of music is classical (you know. like a nerd.) Apart from that, he’s also tried listening to screamo and death metal. While he enjoys screaming in general, he’s not really a fan of the genre, but he can appreciate the effort
in his spare time he probably sips at a glass of wine and reads his fucking quarterly profit reports in a comfy chair by the extremely scary-looking fireplace haha. He likes the sound of thunderstorms as well, mostly bc of the villain aesthetic he’s gotta keep.
Speaking of the villain aesthetic, he used to have a cat. A nice, fluffy white one that he could have sit on his lap while he sat in his desk chair facing the window, just so he could do the thing where he turns around like the most cliche villain ever
unfortunately, he can’t keep that act up for more than a week. by then the cat really looks like it’s living up to the name “Appetizer” and, well. you can tell what happens next. (5.0.5 cries, that’s what. BH coughs up white fur later.)
BH’s room is, like the entire house, very edgy. he has a massive 4-poster canopy bed, various sculptures and paintings of himself, and an enormous walk-in closet. Why does he have a closet if his clothes are part of his body, you ask?
The only reason his room looks so clean is because he hides all his personal belongings in the closet. Confiscated materials? Closet. Assorted skeletons? Closet. His secret collection of scented candles? Closet.
The girl scout cookie hoard goes under his bed. there’s also always a pentagram or two on the floor, some with notes saying “5.0.5 DO NOT ERASE”
One of the huge marble busts of himself has a keypad hidden under the hat, with a code needed to open his vault. but that’s only one half of the key; he also needs to perform a small ritual in his demonic circle to fully unlock the vault and disable the alarms on it. then he can enter the secret room where he stores all his money
(Sometimes he’ll just go inside it and roll around in his piles of cash for fun. it’s very therapeutic)
all those pictures of himself BH either had commissioned or gotten as gifts. I’d say he painted the all himself, but he’s not patient enough to actually spend time getting better at art. instead he just hires artists to make his vain af portraits.
He can also see through any reproduction of himself, including sculptures, shitty post-it note drawings, and yes, fan art. (So don’t call your fanart bad, or else BH will be offended you called him ugly!! he doesn’t care what it looks like, he’s vain enough to accept any art of himself no matter what it is haha)
Once Flug got him a metal paperweight as a gift. Jokingly, he told BH it was a stress ball.
BH fucking crushes it in one hand
(“Huh, some stress ball.” “B-boss that was made out of tungsten!!” “So? You said it was a stress ball!” “That’s stronger than steel!….Boss are you okay”)
Black Hat actually suffers some pretty bad migraines. he’s not supposed to exist in such a “low-res” plane of reality. Most of his kind exist in at least five dimensions, and it’s kind of hard to have made the switch over without losing some of his power. Shunting your consciousness between planes is kind of painful, and BH frequently receives physical reminders that he really should not have done that.
The migraines are painful and make BH crabby for the rest of the day; "dimension sickness" is awful for his mood. Flug has been trying to work on a cure to help him, but it's hard when the only materials you can work with are eldritch blood, flesh samples, and any liquid void goop BH coughs up.
Black Hat actually would work with a hero, only if it was to stop a villain that was a greater danger to his company. He’ll go against his Villainous principles to keep his business secure from any outside threat. Anyone targeting his corporation and friends employees is an enemy, and enemies will be destroyed.
BH has no idea how to: change lightbulbs, replace smoke detector batteries, use a microwave, or clean literally anything. (In that sense, 5.0.5 is more competent than him.)
Surprisingly, Black Hat actually files tax reports for his company. He believes that despite being a governmental institution, the IRS is "the most evil organization to ever exist" and appreciates how much pain it inflicts upon people each year.
Black Hat is a master of paperwork and legal documents. He could have probably been more successful as a lawyer than an arms dealer tbh. Suing people copying his patents is actually a breeze for him, and he doesn't pull any fucking punches when it comes to penalties for reselling his property
This also explains why he hasn’t been arrested yet. Can’t prove that his corporation isn’t just a hat factory when all the evidence, tax reports, and products lean towards that conclusion
BH can't cook for shit. That doesn't mean he can't enjoy human food though (even if he doesn't need it). Some of his favorite meals are humans, raw meat, rare steak (only when 5.0.5 cooks), black caviar, black truffles, black food in general, live mammals, that one cake Flug bakes sometimes, any red wine that actually tastes good, souls, foie gras, expensive food, candy (when taken from babies), ice cream (when taken from 5.0.5), and anything that really fits his dark aesthetic.
Black Hat doesn't really have a birthday. But that doesn't stop Dementia, 5.0.5, and Flug from celebrating. They use BH’s “entering the human world” anniversary as his birthday, and celebrate despite all BH's protests to not  (he secretly enjoys it, the vain bastard.
Flug normally works on an invention for him in his free time, little things that he thinks BH would find useful in his daily life. Like filing cabinets with auto-organizational systems, a voicemail system that can better filter out his calls, ballpoint pens that can write in blood. Stuff like that
Dementia makes coupon books. Things like "one free 'go away'” or “Shut up and be quiet for five minutes” or “stop destroying things for an hour.” BH always runs out of these within the month.
5.0.5 gets him cute things like mugs that say "world's best boss" and ties with nice patterns on them. BH throws a hissy fit about them, but it doesn’t stop him from wearing them
And finally, at the end of the day, even though his life is full of chaos and disasters, BH really doesn’t regret leaving his original plane of reality for this one. It’s weird and painful and he’s surrounded by annoying people, but he’d do it all again if he had to......... foR THE MONEY, OF COURSE. YEAH. BECAUSE HE’S A VILLAIN. GOTTA SELL THOSE DEVICES AND ELIMINATE HEROES RIGHT. YUP. THAT’S IT, THAT’S WHY HE STICKS AROUND WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S BC OF HIS FRI-- EMPLOYEES, WHAT? fucking wild
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meer-katnip · 7 years
Text
Title: geoff. Summary: "Nic," says Geoff with utmost patience. "I'm pretty sure everyone is a skeleton. You know. Deep down."
Time for a fucking Undertale AU, kiddos
Read on AO3, or
The transition from warm, autumn-y hallways and dim lighting to blinding white snow and a rush of cold is almost enough to make Nic stagger back a few steps. He stands and shivers for a second as the door to the Ruins slams shut behind him with a complete and utter finality. This is it. There's no going back. And he's only just realized that the striped shirt he had borrowed from Amalia probably isn't enough to keep him from getting frostbite.
There's a long path stretching out in front of him, lined on both sides by tall pine trees that stretch up into the mist. He has to take a moment to remind himself that, yes, he's still somehow underground (although he can't for the life of him work out why or how there's actual snow down here), and then he forces himself to start walking even though every horror-film-taught inch of him is screaming at him that this is a bad idea. In a movie, this would be the point where he, the unnamed, oblivious bit character, would get mauled by the ten-story high monster made of shadows and poison. And Nic Silver may be many things, but he is not the victim of a plot device.
A few minutes of walking later, nothing has happened and he's almost begun to relax- and then a twig behind him snaps.
He pauses; glances quickly back, notes that there's nobody there.
"Great," he mutters, and starts walking faster, trying to reach the gate he can see in the distance.
Snap. Nic speeds up again, practically running. He reaches the gate and realised that it's locked, and is just about ready to bang his head against it in frustration when a tall shadow falls over him.
Nic stares at the wood of the gate, completely frozen in fear. Oh god. Oh god. Nothing friendly would ever lurk in the shadows of the forest and menacingly snap branches and cast ominous shadows over random strangers, it's going to eat him. What if it eats him? He's going to die. He's going to-
"Boo."
Nic screams at the top of his lungs, and spins around, flailing wildly.
"Whoa," says the guy standing in front of him, stepping back. "Are you-"
"Oh, thank god, I thought you were some kind of monster for a second," Nic babbles for a second "-wait, were you stalking me?"
"Dude." The guy's staring at him. "I am a monster. We all are, down here."
"We all-" Nic stops, trying to catch his breath, and remembers what Amalia had said just before he left the Ruins. Just because this guy doesn't look like he's about to immediately kill Nic on sight doesn't mean he can't be dangerous. And if he's a monster- then what sort of monster is he?  "Right. Of course. Sorry. Forgot for a moment."
"It's cool." The guy's still studying Nic. "You came from the Ruins?"
"I- yes."
A curious sort of half-smile curves over the guy's face, and Nic instantly feels guilty for lying to him. "Huh. Never met anyone from the Ruins before. You going anywhere?"
"Yes," Nic blurts, and a moment passes where the two of them just sort of stare at each other, both waiting for the other to speak.
"That's cool," the guys says slowly, with a quirked eyebrow. He doesn’t look like he’s about to kill Nic, but then again- appearances can be deceiving. "Want to tell me where?"
"Uh- yes. Tanis. I'm going to Tanis." Nic twists his fingers together, hoping he doesn't look too out of place. "You wouldn't know where it is? What direction, I mean."
"Yeah, I know Tanis. It's a while away," the guy says. "But I can show you the way to the nearest town. You'll probably be able to find some information there."
"Great!" Nic grins in relief, and sticks out his hand. "I'm Nic. Nic Silver."
The man shakes it- his grip is firm and strong. "Geoff Van Sant. Nice to meet ya. Come right on through the gate- I know it looks like it's locked, it's not."
"Oh," says Nic, and then proceeds to follow Geoff- his new friend? - through the gate and further down the path. He glances back and notices that their footprints in the snow have all but disappeared already despite there being a distinct lack of snowfall in the general area.
"You're going to have to be careful, if you're looking for Tanis," Geoff warns him after a couple of metres of walking.
"Careful?" Nic hurries to keep up with the taller man, sneakers crunching awkwardly through the frost. His feet are soaked and frozen, but he's warm inside with the thrill of a mystery to solve and the possibility that he might actually solve it.
"Yeah, some people are really… well, touchy, I guess is the word. You know. Conspiracy nuts." Geoff makes a gesture towards that Nic takes to mean you know the sort. "After Tanis was discovered, the incident with the fallen humans happened, and it was blocked off to the general public, a lot of people got very obsessed with it. Seemed to be convinced that there was something behind it all."
Nic wants to ask about the 'incident', but is afraid that showing his lack of knowledge might expose him. "Really? What sort of people?"
"You don't know?… oh," Geoff scratches his head. "Right, you're from the Ruins. Well, I don't really keep track. I think some sort of cult was formed in Waterfall, and the Royal Scientist hasn't been the same since… well, you know. And," here a scowl develops on his face, "well. There's my brother."
"Your-" Nic's innate curiosity is bubbling up inside of him, and he's about to ask the obvious question when he sees the look on Geoff's face. It's dark and cold and almost filled to the brim with sadness.
"...okay," he says instead, with a lack of anything else to mention. "That's very interesting, thank you."
"Is it?" The new look that Geoff shoots him is almost surprised. "That sort of thing's normal around here."
Nic feels a sudden surge of something he can't pin down, and suddenly can't contain himself any longer. "...normal? Geoff, this place is extraordinary. The people here are amazingly kind and the most unique of any that I've met, and this place!" He gestures around himself; at the snow and the roof that he knows is there but can't see. "It's… it's magical. Everything is so new and excellent and I don't know how I ever saw anything as wonderful before it! How can you say it's normal?"
Geoff has stopped in his tracks and is now staring at Nic, who is feeling increasingly uncomfortable and a little hot around the ears after that outburst.
"...compared to the Ruins, I mean," he says lamely, backtracking, and blinks in surprise as he sees Geoff- well, there's no real word for it but flicker, he kind of sort of… becomes transparent for a second? He isn't sure if he really saw it or if it was just a trick of the light, but it causes him to stop and stare back at Geoff, resulting in an awkward few seconds when they're both just standing there, looking into each other's eyes.
"You've only been out of the Ruins a few minutes, dude," laughs Geoff, breaking the silence and averting his eyes quickly. "Maybe save the dramatic speeches for after you've met somebody other than me?"
Nic laughs too, grateful that attention is now being drawn away from his slip-up. "Yeah. Maybe. Sorry."
"No prob. I always enjoy being told that I'm amazingly kind and unique." Geoff winks at him, actually properly winks, and starts off again, leaving Nic standing, startled in the snow for a few seconds before he catches hold of his senses long enough to scurry after him. "Not too far now 'till we get to my sentry post."
"Sentry post?" Nic's now scrambling for information. Information's good, and more importantly, distracting. "You're a sentry?"
"Sure am." Geoff sticks his hands in his pockets, looking casually proud of himself. "Semi-official basis. I'm supposed to be looking out for any humans that wander around here."
"Humans?" Nic manages to force out after a short moment of panic, hoping it doesn't show in his voice.
"Yep. Ridiculous, isn't it? Like any human would be stupid enough to wander right down the main path and get caught by me." He shrugs. "But then again, the King comes up with the craziest shit."
"Yeah. Sure is crazy. Hahaha." Nic hopes he sounds casual, but he never was much good at acting. He wants to ask about the King, but now would actually be a really awful time to do that.
"I don't think I'd recognize a human if it walked straight up to me and introduced itself." Geoff tips Nic another wink, and he's just standing there in shock because either he's much better at pretending to be a monster than he thought, or Geoff is just really, really oblivious.
(Or faking it. It wouldn't be the first time that somebody had messed with him and he hadn't got the hint.)
And then Geoff does the flickering thing again, and this time Nic's sure he didn't just imagine it because for a brief second, he could see the clear outline of a skeleton underneath Geoff's skin, like he had suddenly gone completely translucent all over. The effect fades quickly, leaving Geoff looking quite embarrassed and Nic just staring again.
"Sorry," he says. "That… doesn't usually happen around strangers.” He scratches the back of his neck, looking- incredibly- embarrassed. “Magic’s annoying sometimes, huh?"
Nic has more important things on his mind. "Holyshityou'reaskeleton."
"Nic," says Geoff with utmost patience. "I'm pretty sure everyone is a skeleton. You know. Deep down."
"But-" And oh great, his hands are doing the flappy thing that he thought he had grown out of in high school. "-skeleton?!"
"You're acting like you've never seen one before." It's Geoff's turn to stare now. Nic, under the layers of immense freak-out extraordinaire that he's currently feeling, takes the time to note that he's acting remarkably blasé about it before he realizes, oh yeah, he's probably been a skeleton monster his whole life. (Life? Death? )
"I haven't!" Nic says, and then commences upon doing the most unconvincing backtracking he's ever done in his life. "-there's no monsters like you in the Ruins, I mean! They're all, um, different sorts of monsters. No, uh... skeletons."
"Uh huh." Geoff's face is blank, so very blank. "So, uh, what sort of monster are you, then?"
"What?"
"Fire magic. Secretly seven hundred spiders in a stripy shirt. You know."
"Um, right." Mentally, Nic berates himself for not seeing this coming, and casts around quickly for a decent explanation. "I'm a, um… I'm a Dalek."
"A Dalek?"
"Yeah." Do they have Doctor Who down here? Is that a thing? "When I get mad, an eyestalk bursts out of my head and my voice starts to grate menacingly."
"Whoa." Geoff's eyebrows raise in surprise. "Does that happen a lot?"
"Not really." Okay, cool, he's buying it. "I'm pretty calm most of the time. But when I'm not, you should see me."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I'm all like, exterminate and you will be assimilated-" oh shit, wrong TV show. Maybe he's getting into this a bit too much. "-well, anyway. I look pretty normal otherwise. Like you."
"That's good." They're walking again now, side by side along a snowy path. Nic's eyes occasionally dart in the direction of the forest around them, where he swears he can see weird shadowy figures moving around in the darkness. He tries his hardest to ignore them, and focus on Geoff, who's just as- if not more- interesting.
"Good?" he wonders aloud. "Why?"
"Oh, it's nothing really," Geoff says, and shrugs slightly, the movement tired. "But until you told me about your species, I almost thought you might be a human."
Nic tries his best to laugh this off. "What, me?"
"Yeah, like I said, nothing. Doesn't matter now, right? But if you were a human, there might be trouble."
"Trouble?" Nic really doesn't like how ominous that sounds.
"Yep. My brother's around here. Probably up ahead at the station, waiting for me."
Nic tries to rewind and remember what Geoff had said about his brother before. He remembers the reference as being very vague, almost in passing. "Um…"
"My brother's a fanatic, " the monster informs him, slightly too cheerfully.
Nic pauses, trying to gauge Geoff properly. "...a human-hunting fanatic?" he offers after a second.
Geoff laughs sourly. "Nah, just a fanatic."
A few seconds pass as Nic attempts to configure a response to this, and then there's a bend in the path up ahead and they're standing in a clearing, and-
"Geoff!" yells a voice- loud, clearly used to yelling- from next to the sentry post that's been constructed at the edge of the entrance to the next part of the paths. Nic jumps on the spot, but Geoff only lets out a small, defeated sigh that serves only to make him seem much smaller than he actually is.
"Hi, bro," he says, tiredly.
A bundle of rage and anger in a red cape comes storming up to them both, and Nic takes a defensive, instinctive step back. "Don't hi, bro me! It's been at least five days, and you still haven't checked the recordings!"
"I didn't need to, Karl," Geoff says. "I've been here the whole time."
"That doesn't matter!"
The newcomer- who Nic assumes, based on the evidence, is Geoff's brother- is shorter than his sibling, with glaring, suspicious eyes and what seems to be a permanent twitch in his right hand. The family resemblance, however, is hard to ignore- especially the flickering. Karl Van Sant seems to switch between being humanoid and literally being a skeleton every five seconds, and appears to almost vibrate with anger at the same time. The effect, overall, is startling, especially when compared to Geoff- who seems much more sedate.
"If we don't check the recordings," Karl is continuing, seemingly ignoring Nic's presence completely, "we might miss something important! Do you know what's in the forest, Geoff? Do you?"
"Tanis?" offers Geoff, without enthusiasm, and Nic barely suppresses a slight twitch. So Geoff does know more than he's letting on.
"We won't know!" shrills Karl- and yes, that's the only word for it, he's practically screaming by now. "Not unless we look!"
"I've been watching the forest for days, bro. Not a twitch," Geoff says. "Just the Grackles. You know. Like usual."
"They're involved, I've told you before!" Karl snaps, clearly exasperated. Nic feels like he's intruding on some sort of private moment, but can't quite bring himself to tear himself away. "There's something going on, Geoff, you can't deny it!"
"I can't," Geoff admits, and adds so softly that Nic only barely hears it, "not to you."
Karl glares, and flickers to skeleton, and glares some more, this time with empty eyesockets where his eyes should be, and then swings around, finally noticing Nic. "What's that?"
"It could be a rock?" Geoff suggests, with such a lack of emotion in his voice that it takes Nic a second to realize it's a joke.
"That's not a rock!" Karl screams. "It's a human!"
"That's not a human, bro," Geoff says. "I'm pretty sure it's a rock."
Or maybe it's not.
Karl swings furiously between Nic and Geoff for a few moments, during which Nic tries to make himself look as unobtrusive and rock-like as possible.
Karl finally gives up. "You're right," he says, utter sincerity in his voice. "It's a rock!"
Geoff nods. He looks sad. "Yep."
"I'll be up ahead!" Karl says, swinging around. His red cape flutters. It looks torn and jagged, and like it hasn't been washed for months. Humanoid, then skeleton, and back again. "And check those recordings!"
"I will," Geoff says, and he and Nic watch as Karl storms and stumbles off and out of sight. They keep on watching until there's nothing left to see.
"Is he…" Nic starts, unsure.
"No," says Geoff, and he looks tired, really tired. "Not, he's not. I- I don't know what to-"
Flicker. Quickly skeletal, and then back again. His mood changes at the speed of light, or maybe he just buries his emotions beneath some finely-constructed layer of faux-cheerfulness. "I hope you don't mind. You look a lot like a human, and… well. I wouldn't want him to get the wrong idea."
Nic, for once in his life, senses that pushing this topic would be a bad idea, and instead just nods.
"Okay, so," says Geoff. "The town's about a kilometre from here."
"Town?"
"Yeah, I'm assuming you want to get to Snowdin?" When Nic makes a small noise of unsure assent, he nods. "There's an inn, and a bar, and a library up there, it's a bit warmer than out here in the snow. I can't freeze to death, but you sure look like you might."
"Yeah, that… does sound good," Nic admits. "Do I just follow the path?"
"Straight through the forest," Geoff confirms. "If you see the Grackles, jut ignore them."
Nic nods, not daring to ask what 'the Grackles' are, and he takes one step forward before pausing. "-you're staying here?"
"Well, yeah," says Geoff. "Sentry duty, you know." He grins, flickers into skeleton and back quicker than Nic can process. "But I'll definitely see you around."
"Yeah?"
"Hell yeah. We can meet in town- or I'll bump into you later."
"Yeah?" Nic repeats, now grinning. He likes Geoff. Geoff has that sort of irresistible personality that just draws in- he seems easygoing and just sort of- cool. Easy to be around.
"'Course."
Geoff waves him off with a slight flicker of his outline and when Nic glances back a few metres later, he's disappeared without any sign that he had ever left- no footprints in the snow leading away.
Nic finds himself looking forward to seeing Geoff later, and he grins to himself again, bundling his sweater tighter around himself.
He sets off into the forest, feet crunching in the freshly-fallen snow, and doesn't look back.
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