#i’ve been wanting to experiment again

[dovesick]

endless night

#animal art #animal comic #penguin art #comic art #artists on tumblr #just a comic about emperor penguins #(they are emperor penguins but yellow didn’t go with the colour scheme loool) #(i tried to make it work just trust me lol) #i keep forgetting to upload here woops #sometimes i don’t wanna draw anthros #i’ve been wanting to experiment again #i have a couple pieces planned #but i also wanna do more horror #rlyyyyy hard to decide lmaoooo

[marimbles]

my guys:)

#marichat #ml #miraculous ladybug #experimenting slightly bc it’s been so long since I’ve drawn them regularly and I think my style changed a bit (?) #so I’m like figuring out how I want to draw them again lol #decided to try ears out adrien this time what do we think #I think it’s cute:) altho in my mind adrien covers his normal ears on purpose at chat noir to be more Catboy #anyway. them etc #mine #my art

[clownwix]

March 26th: Hurt/Comfort & Regency Era

You know I had to do this prompt given my history lmao at this point I might as well make a tag for this harringrove regency au 💀

#harringroveweek #hg regency #im still recovering from my burn out so this is all i have to offer this week im sorry 😭 #i just started drawing regularly again so i dont want to go too hard too fast #also I’ve been experimenting with lighting ahhh idk #harringrove

[snorp-gorp]

Yeah

#I am once again experimenting with how I want to draw grumpuses #I can never decide #recently I’ve not been too fond of the way I draw grumps (specifically snorpy) so I wanted to change it up juuust a little bit #anyways #love these guys #bugsnax #bugsnax art #snorpy fizzlebean #bugsnax snorpy #chandlo funkbun #bugsnax chandlo #bugsnax fanart #es’s art

[insomniphic]

“I just want to get to know you better because I care about you, okay?”

He’ll understand.

#okay okay so— this ISNT CANON but Narry is now my science experiment son :] #OKAY BUT LIKE I’VE BEEN NITPICKING AND DISECTING EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM THAT HE MIGHT AS WELL BE CONSIDERED AS ONE #I’VE BEEN STUDYING HIM IN DIFFERENT SITUATIONS #TRYING TO MAKE SOME SORT OF UNDERSTANDING ABOUT HIS EXISTENXE #LOOKING THROUGH HIS VALUES IDEALS AND MORALS #HE’S MY SON AND HE’S MY SCIENCE EXPERIMENT HAHAHAHAAH #🧪 👩‍🔬 #the thought of the possible angst makes me rabid too #like I imagine situations where he’s stuck in a glass cage because of me #and keep in mind he’s claustrophobic #OH OH IMAGINE HIM BEING NICE AND SWEET AND GOOD *JUST* BECAUSE HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE TRAPPED AGAIN #HOHOHOHO #guys guys guys I swear I’m not imoral #I’m a very kind person #GUYS #PLEASE #(this also emerged because I was talking to Ney and Bear about how great parents we are to our Narrys’) #💙💙💙💙 #the stanley parable #tsp #tsp narrator #stanley parable #tsp fanart #the narrator #sketch #tspud #InSomniphic’s Art

[subparticlesupercollider]

there’s something so alluring about the idea of living in a perpetual horror movie to me. like a time loop. specifically a paranormal one where you could never make it out alive. in the same sense of “heaven is a place where nothing really happens” (from the talking heads song Heaven), being trapped in a story where there’s only one ending and you suffer through whatever horrors are laid out for you (but they are laid out exactly as they are and always will be, and they are laid out for YOU) sounds like. morbidly peaceful. no need to worry what happens next, you already know. and you’ve done it a hundred times. of course you’re in pain but it’s intimately familiar and maybe you don’t even register your suffering anymore. and you’re not preoccupied by your performance in this dance anymore either— it feels like whatever you do, the same events occur, but you’re an actor in a story and you never had free will to begin with. anyways. it just sounds kind of nice 👍

#^voice of a guy who would be fine if he was trapped in a time loop bc he puts so much value and emphasis into the mundane #cro talks #it’s late but i’ve been thinking about this for like a week now. am i insane or is this like. even mildly relatable #also to expand on that talking heads lyrics— it just makes me sad to think about. the idea of a perfect place being completely uneventful— #and just the same few experiences over and over again exactly the same? i mean like. true. tbh #sad not in the sense that i’d hate that if it happened to me but overcome with jealousy and desperation #this is where arguments of free will vs predetermination really get to me. i DO believe in free will. but is it so bad to wish for — #predetermination instead? take your hands off the wheel and do whatever you want. everything will happen as it always would have. #anyways #feeling normal about this. feeling regular #please let me know if this sounds crazy i’d like to know. not that i care i’m just curious #horror

[deus-ex-mona]

series i’m gatekeeping from my family vs series i’m ✨ok✨ with my family knowing i’m into:

#‘why do you gatekeep hw from your irls?’ well. the thing is. i just ✨don’t want to✨ #and. like. i’ve already led my family to believe that i bought bl manga when i was buying idol sengen at animate #so i think im already past the point of no return in that regard. so. um. yeah. #thank you village vanguard for the unexpected μ’s content in 2k24 you truly are yappa saikyou #i s w e a r falling back into my ll phase almost 10 whole years after i first got into it is unexpected tbh #compounded with the fact that i can now actually afford whatever im looking for. so. like. my wallet is in crisis lol #i had just reached my savings goal last month but now i’ve overspent bc i saw great deals on resold honoka-chan hoodies and i couldn’t help— #so now i have 2 identical hoodies lol. but i’ll keep one of them safe in its packaging bc im unwell like that ig #my merch whaling is out of control i s w e a r but my oshis are just too cute aaaaaaaaa #i probably should open another savings account instead… maybe that’d keep my spending under control… #b u t for now honoka-chan jersey im looking for you #tfw ur oshi is decently unpopular amongst the fans so hardly anyone resells her merch lmao #so ig the relatively fewer fellow fans she has are more dedicated to her than fans of other more popular characters lol #but at least her stuff (when resold) isn’t as overpriced as the actually popular members (birb and tomato) #so my wallet isn’t crying as hard as it could’ve been? ig? hunting for almost 10 year old merch is a pain fr though #either way. the grip idol series have on my wallet is truly insane #i wonder how many bags of chips i could’ve bought with the amount i’ve spent on hw and ll merch to date… #at least a thousand… i think. maybe even 2 thousand if my past gacha game whaling is taken into consideration… #…this is probably why it’s important to have a decent paying job ig. #oh well. at least i may be making b a n k this month with how much ot i’ve had to do this week so far… #i hope i won’t have to work till 5am again over the next 2 days… that had been a horrible experience. #help what am i even talking about anymore why am i having a life crisis right here and now u m. #anyways. dni if you dislike honoka-chan. thanks for coming to my crisis rant. see you when the last stage mv drops ig ok byeeeee

[aurosoul]

these are just screenshots I grabbed from my friend’s insta but I recently got to show my XR art to a couple of dancers from Switzerland who own a motion-capture studio and it was FASCINATING watching they way they moved as they interacted with my stuff!!

I created a magical forest with floating jellyfish and crystal orbs, and they moved through it with such grace and delicate hand motions that I felt like I could sense what they were seeing even though I was just looking on from outside

#incessant meowing #i always fail to record video of things like this kshsgsh #i get caught up in the moment and don’t want to be pulling out my phone yknow!! #anyways it was wonderful meeting them and we had more in common than i thought #for example they are also hoping to start a residency program at their company #for dancers who want to experiment with mocap for virtual performances! #there’s so much love and passion for art in tech right now #picture journal #also this happened at ar house! #i’ve been trying to stop by more often to help out with stuff there #cohorts aren’t happening anymore so it’s just a third space for the local xr community #events will be starting up again eventually though #and i’ll be hosting some workshops myself!!

[cyberr-v0id]

For the love of all things beyond human comprehension can someone please please just tell me what is wrong with my brain and why I act and think like this and why nobody has ever thought I’m normal except when they’re trying to deny that there’s something wrong

#cyberr speaks #vent #rant #brain #there is something wrong with me #✨psychologically✨ #and I need help that I will never get #gods I just want to know what it is #I’m so tired of always playing this guessing game #of #‘is my inability to keep my room tidy just laziness or a mental block of some kind’ #of ‘why can’t I just stay focused for one second’ #of ‘oh hell I just zoned out’ #of ‘I’ve been surpressing this thing for so long that I no longer know if it’s a real thing i experience #or if I’m just making it up’ #of ‘is this a melt down or I’m really just that weak as to cry all the time’ #of ‘why am #getting these thoughts. they’re not me’ #of ‘why aren’t I like them. why don’t people like me. why can’t I just act like them. why do they think I’m weird. what’s wrong with me’ #what’s wrong with me #always the same question #over and over and over and over #and over #again

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone… #i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly. #i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized… #when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function. #plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone… #i went thru all that for nothing… #and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit

[prettyboysmlm]

ah. help.

(tw sa mention in the tags)

#so #pretty sure my friend lost her virginity last night #(not sure she hasn’t said anything yet) #but if she did #i know for a fact she’s gonna be hella annoying about it this week #bc she’s annoying about everything #but this is different #bc she’s gonna be bragging about how she had sex and how the rest of us are virgins #(two of us aren’t be she doesn’t give a shit she just wants to be better than us) #and i am going to be super uncomfortable if she talks about this nonstop (bc she will) #bc of. experiences. i’ve had. #that she knows abt. and that she has insulted and joked abt before. #and im terrified she’s gonna do it again in front of all of our friends #and i can’t take that i can’t fucking take that #she’s an idiot and she doesn’t think about what she says before she says it but that doesn’t matter bc there are some things you need a #filter for and she doesn’t seem to realize that #anyways i’m terrified of going to school tmr bc i don’t wanna deal with that #like yay i’m happy for u that u had sex with a guy you’ve been dating for two months! now please shut the fuck up! #anyways why am i venting on here? #bc i don’t wanna tell my friends bc they’ll think i’m a hypocrite #i’m the one friend who makes sex jokes and is the ‘horny one’ #bc i’m hypersexual bc of my. ‘experiences’. #and they’ll think i’m a hypocrite if i tell her to stop talking about sex when that’s what i talk about a lot #so i’m just gonna suffer and pray she doesn’t say something to upset me #k.txt #vent tw #sa tw

[stargarland]

question in the tags ugh sorry for complaining

#for context. #it’s graduation in may right #and my roommate and his family rlly want all of our families to get together #but like… bro i haven’t seen my family in almost 6 months and i won’t see them until december again #i live across the country from my home and siblings and my dad is leaving after grad weekend to live in a dif country #and i won’t see them for another 6 months IF IM LUCKY #so respectfully i want to spend the rare time i get with my family actually with them and ive told him this but apparently not clear enough #and i feel so rude and liek i come off being like i don’t want to hang out with ur parents #but … IDK i’ve softly been like no❤️ but it’s a hard situation what do i Do #like i miss my family man i rarely get to see them #and i don’t expect him to understand like his family lives close by and we just come from dif experiences but UGH IDK

[dottores]

#before i leave #a poll #i want to say yes #i rlly do #but dottore would wanna do some experiment on them #and i would probably get caught in crossfire and killed #or he would be the one to CAUSE IT #💀💀💀 #and again i am caught in cross fire #there’s a chance but #it’s slim #for pantalone i also say probably not #he’d be one of the rich ppl who have a high tech high protected base #but one person gets infected and then #we’re all like trapped mice #my bf started playing a zombie game last night so i’ve been thinking about it

[honeykyeom]

hey! please don’t do this!

#i can’t speak for everyone only for myself #and while i’m so happy that people are excited #it truly gives me a lot of anxiety getting these kinds of asks #i won’t trauma dump here except to say that i suffer from extreme imposter syndrome #and also finding my own identity and joy in writing again ever since the traumatic experience that happened to me- #in this space a couple of years ago. i’ve been mentally depressed and checked out since #i’m working as fast as my brain will allow. i want to bring track 3 and ik it’s been almost a year but please #please please please just be patient with me. #also not to be petty but this coming from a mass like and someone who doesn’t reblog my fics just makes me feel even worse #so yeah! just a heads up! again i love that people are excited about my writing too! #but cut a girl with severe anxiety disorder some slack #🍯.txt

[archiveofyearning]

.

#i rly didn’t want to start therapy again bc I’ve had many bad therapy experiences in the past #and i’m also ashamed and terrified of what might come up bc i know there are many things i have been actively avoiding #which i know is precisely the reason why i should be doing it but #i just feel like it will bring up so much that i’ll feel a lot worse before i feel better and idk if i’m in the right state for that now #but i also feel like i’m reaching a breaking point and if i don’t seek help now i’ll end up ruining so many of my relationships #and disappointing so many people. not to mention that i’ve been slipping more and more at work every day #and the pressure to be absolutely perfect at it at all times never goes away #anyway. all this to say that i think i have to do it but i’m rly afraid #so would appreciate some love and prayers

[eyesopentv]

weird identity post warning

i’m a trans man who thought i was a lesbian for a long time and i figured it out eventually but when i did i was really hesitant to let go of the label bc i had found so much community through it. i’d found people who understood me, queer shows and movies, and music that i resonated with. and even though it’s not for me anymore, i still feel very connected to that, especially the music, but i also often feel like i’m not allowed to enjoy it or that i’m intruding on something that is only for wlw, or even just women in general. and i can always understand and connect with it because of my experience before i transitioned but when i engage with certain media, especially in public, it still looks and feels like i’m intruding or trying to make it about me. i feel kind of stuck sometimes- like i’m trying to step away from things that were not made for me, but by doing that there isn’t much that i can connect with. everything made for men is never for all men, it’s for cis men. everything for trans men is either kalvin garrah-fied or cavetown and there’s hardly ever an in between. don’t get me wrong, i enjoy cavetown, but i want something outside of that. anyways. there’s no resolution to this, i don’t have a solution or whatever, i just wanted to say it and see if anyone resonates

#miles thots #i’ve actually been wanting to say it for a long time i just couldn’t find the words #and i don’t think that this perfectly encapsulates what i feel but it’s the best i can do #this came up today bc i’ve been really enjoying boygenius but again- it’s not for me #and i feel really guilty taking up that space #and the guilt has been coming up a lot more recently with more people saying ‘this is for the girlies’ or ‘only girls will understand’ and- #just the whole ‘girl’ language in general especially as a swiftie. like ‘taylor swift girlies’ and i’m just some dude who happened to be a #girl when i started listening to her and now am not but i still love her and her music but i feel like i’m not allowed to or i’m taking spac #from a woman who Actually belongs here #and then the barbie movie and i’m like- i get it i really do but i’m a man so i shouldn’t get it #idk!! #wait fuck this applies to tattoos too with my lavender plant and small tattoos and i feel like i’m not being a man the right way or like i’m #trying to be like women but i swear i’m not- i just happen to share experiences with them and therefore interests