#i’m sorry i really am

[dreamersbcll]

“Late” -

tw: suicide, suicidal ideation

if this triggers you in anyway, please do not read. thank you.

—————————

Mindy knocked on Tara’s door impatiently, cursing under her breath. The pair were already twenty minutes late to the movie they were supposed to see. That was like two whole trailers that Mindy was missing- and she refused to miss the rest.

“Tara. Open the fucking door. We’re late, get your ass moving!”.

No answer.

Which wasn’t completely strange, Tara had been a bit of a recluse since Sam disappeared a few weeks ago. Mindy had been showing up to the Carpenter house every day to drag Tara out and do something fun. Most times she was able to get the girl to smile.

Mindy still saw that empty, hollow sadness in Tara’s eyes. But there was nothing she could do unless she could move heaven and earth to get Sam back. Movies and walks it was until she could get Tara to consistently smile again.

She knocked again, but no answer. Jiggling the doorknob, she realized it was locked. Sighing, she snaked her hand into her pockets, fishing out the key she had made for Tara’s door. The girl was clever, but no match for Mindy.

As she unlocked it, she quickly realized that something was very wrong. The curtains were closed, and Tara’s room was a mess. Her journals were ripped open, loose pages all over the floor. The bed wasn’t made and clothing was strewn across it. And in the corner of the room was Tara, a knife in her hand, poised over a bare wrist.

“Tara!”

Mindy descended across the floor and fell to her knees, ripping the knife out of Tara’s hand, and throwing it across the floor. It clattered against the ground; the noise mixing with Mindy’s panic and Tara’s wheezy breaths.

She grabbed Tara’s wrist, checking it over. Once satisfied that nothing was wrong, she started yelling.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? What the fuck Tara! A knife? Suicide? Are you fucking kidding me?” she shouted, not caring if the house shook with her anger. It wouldn’t be the first rageful person to stalk the halls of the Carpenter house. And it probably wouldn’t be the last.

Tara bared her teeth, wheezing as she shouted back. “I can’t do this anymore!”

“What? You can’t do what? Live? Jesus Christ Tara, don’t be fucking stupid. You can do this. Your sister may be gone but that doesn’t mean you have to!” Mindy retorted back incredulously.

“Amber said that if someone left her like that, she would kill herself. So why the fuck does it matter? People who love you don’t leave you like that. It’s clear how Sam feels about it,” Tara hissed, trying to snatch her arm from Mindy’s grip.

Not letting go of Tara’s arm, Mindy gritted her teeth, taking a deep breath. “Okay, but Amber fucking Freeman isn’t the one to decide shit for you. For God's sake Tara, think! Is ending your life before knowing what could happen really what you want to do?”

“You don’t understand! She was my life, my blood, my reason to breathe! I can’t breathe Mindy, I can’t fucking breathe anymore!” the girl gasped, her eyes glassy.

Mindy loosened her grip a bit, frowning. This was uncharted waters. She thought that Tara was being overdramatic, but this- this was different. She loved her brother dearly, but she would cope without him here. This didn’t feel like the relationship she had with her brother. The way Tara wheezed and looked unsteady unnerved her. She wasn’t prepared for this.

But it was going to happen anyway.

Tara yanked her arm from Mindy, continuing with her train of thought. “Every morning I wake up, and for the first five seconds, I forget all of it happened. The fighting, the scars, the screaming, her departure- I forget it all. But then I open my eyes and it’s the same hell every day. Every. Fucking. Day. You don’t know what that’s like, having the person who knows you the best gone. Sam fucking left me, and I’m just supposed to live on and be okay? I can’t do that. I can’t be okay. She is my reason to keep going. Without her I have none,”.

Mindy blinked. “Not even for your friends?” she whispered, suddenly aware of the dire situation that she was facing.

The shorter girl shook her head sadly, letting tears spill down her face. “I love you guys. But I love Sam more.”

With that, Mindy noticed Tara’s free hand unclenched, an empty pill bottle rolling out of it.

“Tara,” she paused, time slowing down around her. She noticed that the loose journal pages were Sam’s old drawings and notes. The clothing across the bed was clothing that Tara had stolen from her big sister. The curtains were drawn and there was a envelope stuck to one of them. “How many did you take?”.

The girl just looked at Mindy miserably, her eyes unfocused. How long have they looked like that? Has Tara been wheezing the whole time? Was Tara always that pale?

“I’m sorry, Min. I am.”

#scream #tara carpenter #carpenter sisters #mindy meeks martin #i’m sorry i really am #no ghostface just pain #happy monday? #sam carpenter #ao3 author #my writing tag #AU: go with grace

[kazzattack]

starting to think ppl are sick of me talking about my fave baddest bitch in the world. oopsie

#i’m sorry i really am #but i luv meg idk what to tell u #chatterbox <3

[lost-in-labyrinth]

sometimes life is difficult

when you have a fight with your parents, you go completely hysterical and then they yell at you for being hysterical and you’re hysterical even more and then you cry and everything is your fault and suddenly you’re not even worthy of someone’s love and also you’re causing a scene and you should be sorry

then you try your best to forgive or just be normal around them

but then you have another fight in front of your aunt who is actually your favourite person and she doesn’t do anything and you feel so helpless and sick to stomach, but you realize you don’t need to talk, because you’ll only make things worse and they yell at you, they yell at you really loud and you want to cry and lock yourself in your room and they say so many things that aren’t even true and all in front of your aunt, she reads the room, leaves and your parents totally lash out, so at the end you’re just a lame excuse of a daughter, you should feel sorry, everyone hates you and you don’t deserve to go to your dream school based on how dramatic you are

#i’m sorry i really am #but i don’t think i can do this #and i can’t even move out #because i can do EVERYTHING but i will never be good enough #try living with your little brother who is better at everything #it’s okay i guess #it will get better #hopefully #DO NOT INTERACT #eliza.vent

[victoriarambles]

“happy” thoughts

(Semi vent in tags? I don’t know)

#non tickles #i am not happy at all #school sucks ass #and i’m not ready for allat #i just want to hide from everyone #even like not irl ppl #i just want to disapear for a while #i think that would be best #i can’t bring myself to delete discord tho so i might just ghost a few people #i can’t do this anymore #after i’m back from my trip #i’m not sure what my thoughts will push me to do #i’m sorry i really am

[soosoosoup]

snowzone

#dreamworks trolls #trolls #trolls john dory #trolls bruce #trolls clay #trolls floyd #trolls branch #brozone #kinda missing the snow #while I'm glad it's not so cold anymore; I am not looking forward to how hot it gets #their sleds are walnut shells!! would a walnut shell make a good sled? probably not but it's cute so... walnut sled! #wanted to give bitty b one of those baby cow earmuffs and it spiraled to this lol #also saw some panels of dungeon meshi where young elves where these hats. truly inspired #haven't read/watched it yet but i can tell i would totally love it #I'm thinking of maybe making this my banner? it's like accidentally the correct size #trolls fanart #excuse the messiness #my art <3 #trolls band together #i have another snowzone drawing but im not really vibing with it. #thinking of maybe posting those discarded sketches under like... a scrapyard tag #there's only like 2 sketches so far lol #sorry I haven’t posted some broppy in a bit #been having some trouble with it coming out a little stiff. so I’m thinking that some good old brozone can refresh my system lol

[mushramoo]

did it very fast so I know it’s cringe and yucky etc but I want more first interactions between the Emilys and Aftons in game

#I just really like the concept of confrontations #I also am a sucker for the puppet in general so that has no bearing on this at all nooooo #fnaf #fnaf fandom #fnaf fanart #art #fnaf art #video games #fnaf puppet #charlie Emily #william afton #fnaf william afton #fnaf springtrap #springtrap #puppet #fnaf 3 kinda #five nights at freddy's #fnafblr #sorry for all the tags I’m tired

[suiheisen]

“i’m going through something” and it’s the incredible need to impregnate a man

#i have to stop leaving thirst tags on shohei posts and probably traumatising the op. i’m so sorry op #i really am going through it…….. #condolences to all the friends who’ve been the victims of my shohei pegging imagines… #why’s he shaped like that???? for me to knock him up etc??? #also where are the gifs of him from asg ;_____; he was so flirty……

[steddie-as-they-come]

Steve Harrington sucks at kissing.

It’s something everyone in school knows. The King can’t kiss to save his life. He’s motionless, emotionless. It’s like kissing a brick wall.

And yes, he makes up for it in other ways, ways that let all the girls he’s with get past the weird kissing thing. Nancy’s not big on PDA anyway, so minimum kissing is fine with her.

The rumors spread, though. Girls talk to their friends about how they try to “teach” him to kiss, giving him gentle instructions murmured against his lips, to no avail. The movements are flat, jerky, like he’s being puppeted around on marionette strings.

He just can’t do it.

Robin teases him about it exactly once, early on in their Scoops Ahoy careers. But she sees how sad it makes him, sees how he twists the strand of hair by his ear around and around his finger (a nervous habit of his that she learns about much later), and resolves to never talk about it again. If only to get him to stop looking like she dropkicked his puppy into an active volcano.

When Steve starts dating Eddie, they don’t kiss much. Eddie’s not experienced, and he’s also not stupid. He heard the rumors in high school. The last thing he wants is for Steve to be forced into doing something he doesn’t want to do. And it’s really okay. Steve’s good with his hands (like, obscenely good), and he treats Eddie like a person, not a prize or a target. Bar’s low, but Steve’s still hurtling over it.

So it’s about half a month into their relationship when they kiss for the first time.

Eddie graduates, and Steve just gets so excited he yanks Eddie down an empty corridor in the school, picks him up by the waist and spins him around like a Disney princess.

And then he kisses him.

Eddie’s long hair is falling like a curtain around their faces, blocking out the whole world until it’s just them. Steve’s lips are warm, slotted perfectly against Eddie’s own, and his hands are braced around Eddie’s waist. Eddie feels his diploma fall from his hands, and he weaves his hand into Steve’s hair and tilts his head up, kissing him deeper.

Steve breaks away just then. Eddie chases Steve’s mouth with his own on instinct.

“Sorry,” Steve says breathlessly.

“What the hell are you sorry for?” Eddie demands in a harsh whisper. “I thought you were bad at kissing!”

“I am!” Steve says. “I got excited, sorry. I won’t do it again.”

“Why not?” Eddie says indignantly. “That was by far the best kiss I have ever had. Did you not like it?”

Steve looks like he’s running on autopilot. “No, it was amazing, I just… everyone says I’m bad at kissing. I didn’t want to make you kiss me.”

Eddie drags him close, slams him against the wall like he did in the boathouse, except this time with significantly more horny undertones. “You should keep that reputation.” Eddie says in a low tone. “I think no one else, but me, gets to know how good of a kisser you are.”

“Works for me,” Steve says, breath ghosting over Eddie’s lips, and that’s all the invitation Eddie needs to dive back in.

They end up scarring Robin when she comes looking for them, but that’s alright.

#steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #sorry i was writing the #living hawkins au #and immediately had a thought #that i had to write before it left #if this is cringe i’m sorry i’m running on 4 hours on sleep out of the last 48 #actually it’s definitely cringe. but i am free #TO CLARIFY: they are not fucking at the end #just making out REALLY heavily

[turtleblogatlast]

Leo getting hit with a truth curse but instead of forcing him to admit to super sad or worrying things it’s things like “it was me who broke the remote” “I saw Mikey prank Donnie and helped hide it because it’s way funnier if he didn’t know who it was” “I rip my clothes to look more like Raph’s because he’s really cool” “my stripes aren’t even red they’re pink!”

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #plot twist he COULD be admitting angsty stuff but he’s pushing the less oof truths forward instead on purpose #raph: hey leo what do you want for dinner #leo: *about to bare his soul on all his internal torment but pivots* I’m afraid of snakes #(no but fr Leo’s stripes being technically more pink instead of red is cute ngl) #(a very reddish pink to the point that in certain lighting it looks red but at the base they’re p pink) #(i also am very fond of the idea that Leo doesn’t just have questionable taste in fashion he also just loves Raph a lot and looks up to him) #but yeah I think that something like this would be 99% Leo admitting to unimportant things or admitting to how much he values everyone #like they all KNOW Leo loves them and he’s talked them up enough for them to know but it’s different when he’s like #‘I just wanna read my comics with you guys around - it’s my favorite place to be’ #or again just random bs that doesn’t REALLY have a lot of weight like #‘I like using my portals to prank random people around the world’ #‘I’m worried about being a bad influence on hueso jr’ #‘sometimes I kinda wanna see hypno’s plans succeed’ #‘it’s been way too long since I found this out and honestly it’s embarrassing but I actually don’t have a di-‘ #SORRY COULDNT HELP MYSELF #(<-but did u know that that pink rather than red observation actually ties into this headcanon as well if u know about red eared sliders)

[wigglebox]

It’s really not that hard to understand how Destiel is canon despite not having Dean verbally textually concretely saying “I love you” back, which is what most people who only consume media on a surface level understand.

You have a jigsaw puzzle. Let’s say there’s 327 pieces. One by one you put it together with some bright spots where you get a bunch of them in a row and some more complicated spots where it took you longer than you wanted and the picture made it difficult to match up the pieces.

After awhile, you get 326 of them in, even tho your dog almost ate the 326th piece and it’s a little chewed up but whatever. It’s passable.

But, you realize you can’t find that 327th piece. It’s somewhere — it’s gotta be somewhere. You can see the hole where it belongs. You see it’s shape in it’s empty space, you see how many curves it has and how many sticky-out bits it has to connect perfectly with the rest of the puzzle.

However that final piece is still missing.

You look up and down, come up with theories about where it could possibly be (did the dog eat it? Did the manufacturers just screw up and there was a glitch in processing? Was it your own fault you lost it and it’s somewhere super obvious?).

But despite you being unable to find it, you’ve stared at that empty space for so long it’s almost like it is already filled because the shape is so clearly outlined. It’s the final piece and even if it’s not there, the rest of the picture is, and, the empty space is so well defined that there is no QUESTION that’s where the missing piece should go.

So Destiel is canon because the rest of the puzzle was filled in through years and years of subtext, text, basic narrative structure, romantic tropes, queer coding, etc etc.

The one piece that’s still missing is Dean saying three words but you don’t know where that piece is, aka, we don’t know why he wasn’t allowed to say it back. But we know that’s what has to be said. There won’t be a refusal of reciprocation because if that was the case we would have gotten it when the show was airing because there’s no harm from executives perspectives in denying queer feelings. They’d probably prefer it.

Dean’s missing words is the one single puzzle piece that’s missing right now. And we are all still searching for it but that doesn’t mean that it’s clearly defined space isn’t already there outlining exactly what could only fit right. There.

#destiel #sorry I saw tiktoks on puzzles and someone was missing a piece #and I’m like #in my Destiel feels like I always am #and I always had the puzzle analogy in my head but didn’t know how to really voice it #then the adhd meds kicked in this morning lol #anyway #happy Wednesday

[laracrofted]

snoopy really is so me 😌

#snoopy you will always be famous #i really make myself laugh sometimes i’m sorry #ames makes things

[verdantglow]

Imagine the Hermits learning ballroom dance.

Imagine Etho being assigned to lead because he’s tall & everyone assumes he would.

Imagine him constantly fucking up, stepping on his partner’s feet, missing beats, just a mess.

Imagine Bdubs getting upset from the sidelines.

Imagine him getting blustery about this disaster & stepping in, saying no, no, no, this is all wrong, shooing Etho’s partner away.

Imagine anxiety bubbling up in Etho’s stomach, at having to lead for Bdubs, as he walks over.

Imagine Etho trying to place his hands on Bdubs, mentally preparing for another disaster.

Imagine Bdubs tutting & moving Etho’s hands away, much to Etho’s confusion.

Imagine Bdubs then firmly placing his hand on Etho’s back & grabbing his other hand.

Imagine Bdubs confidently taking over the whole situation.

Imagine Etho’s amazement as Bdubs leads him, and suddenly Etho’s dancing is on beat, smooth, no stepped on feet.

Imagine them elegantly whirling across the floor, everyone else watching them in surprise.

Imagine Bdubs dipping Etho.

Imagine Etho looking at Bdubs face while this happens & feeling his stomach flip at the burn of assurance in Bdubs eyes.

Imagine the song then ending, & them just staying there for a moment, breathing a bit heavy from the exertion.

Imagine Bdubs pulling Etho back up & releasing him & pointed saying that that was how you did it.

Imagine Etho staring at Bdubs, feeling lost & unsure now that Bdubs isn’t there, hand on his back deftly leading him.

Just like. Imagine.

#Ethubs #hermitshipping #Ethoslab #bdoubleo100 #etho #Bdubs #I’m sorry to all my girlies who are here for smalletho #but I’ve had this idea in my head FOR MONTHS. #& like. Just because I am smalletho 99% of the time #doesn’t mean I don’t have brain rot for other pairings as well. #I was planning on making a comic or mini fic outta this but #I just don’t see that happening anytime soon #& I cannot keep this to myself. #sends it out into the universe with the hope that someone else sees my vision here #I just. Love the idea of their dynamic getting flipped in certain situations #& also Bdubs would TOTALLY be amazing at ballroom dancing. #Can’t explain why but I really think he would be.

[ratcorner]

[ID. A digital painting of the Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared protagonists falling into a convoluted spiral. In the center are the antagonists, intruding upon the scene. The canvas is crowded with images of the Teachers and the house. End ID.]

:•)

#HIIII THIS IS EMBARRASSING BUT I WAS RLLY INTO THE WEB SERIES IN 2014 AND NOW IM UNEXPECTEDLY OBSESSED W THE SHOW #i kno this is kind of a tes centric acc but icant think of anything other than this show abt gay ass puppets. sory #artcorner #dhmis #don’t hug me i’m scared #dhmis spoilers #dhmis art #eye strain #had a realy fun time doing this!! i used a new lining brush and tried being more loose . i like it :-] #red guy #yellow guy #duck guy #dhmis lesley #dhmis roy #i shoudl animate this. put a little movemennt in there.. #HEY THIS GOT REALLY FUCKED UP IN SOME OF THE RBS I AM SORRY. I HATE YOU TUMBLR FORMATTING #the source post is still good!!! there’s just a janky one going around rn..

[thranduel]

astarion, the man who was dying and offered eternal life, but had no idea that it meant becoming a slave to a sadistic master.

astarion, the man who had his freedom and bodily autonomy ripped away from him.

astarion, the man who was forced to befriend, seduce and sleep with people to lure them back to his master, resulting in severe sexual trauma and the struggle to form any sort of intimate relationship.

astarion, the man who was horribly punished whenever he refused his master’s orders (one punishment being sealed away in a dusty tomb, starving, for an entire year. he scratched his hands raw trying to carve his way out).

astarion, the man who was forced to eat rats.

astarion, the man who hasn’t even been able to see his own face since he turned.

astarion, the man who had his body mutilated as cazador carved scars onto his back, which he later found out was to bind him to a ritual.

astarion, the man who is so severely traumatised that he admitted he doesn’t know how to say “no” or ask for help (and he feels guilty when he does).

astarion, the man who waited two centuries to be helped and freed from torture, but no one came.

astarion, the man who was always treated like a monster when all he wanted was to be treated like a person.

astarion, the man who came up to you in the middle of the night just to thank you for defending him and allowing him to make his own decisions.

astarion, the man who said that no one ever looked out for him or showed him kindness, and that you’re the only one. “other people don’t have a heart like you. you’re you. no one is like that.”

astarion, the man who broke the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago thanks to the love, care and compassion that you showed him when no one else did.

astarion, the man who confessed that he loves you and feels safe with you; something he has never felt with anyone before.

#my darling boy :( #astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #his backstory and character development make me want to bawl my eyes out #this is why i get so angry when people don’t even try to understand him #and when they reduce him to things he’s not #like do you pay ANY attention to anything he says?? #or do you just stare at him and drool and then continue to sexualise him #sorry if that sounds dramatic but ughhhhhh man #it’s just incredibly annoying #like i don’t know why some people choose to pick up an intense game with really deep characters if they’re not gonna try to understand them #like they weren’t just made for you to treat them like they’re objects #and what gets me is the fact that astarion would HATE how people talk about him #and yes yes i know he’s not real i’m not dumb i am aware!!!!! #but he would absolutely hate it #that flirty sexy vampire image you have of him isn’t even real #it was a mask he wore #he was literally forced into doing those things #even in the game he has a reputation for flirting and sleeping around but that’s not even who he is or what he wants #it’s all an act #and it’s just so sad how everyone reduces him to that when it traumatises him every day #and apparently there’s a scene with raphael where if you haven’t seen astarion’s scars yet -> #raphael basically says he’s surprised astarion has kept his clothes on for this long and then he strips him naked in front of everyone #it’s so horrible and unfair #i just want to hold his hand and hug him tight. he deserves so much better in the game AND in this fandom #tw abuse #tw sa #my posts

[kasieli]

When they said “blend in with the crowd,” they didn’t mean that. | From this scene in Winter Soldier because I saw it again and had to recreate it with these two

Bonus:

Feat. Poppy forgetting that Ominis is blind

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #poppy sweeting #fanart #hogwarts legacy mc #sebastian x mc #I’m sorry I HAD to #someone pls stop me #i’m having too much fun #I realized I really enjoy drawing people kissing? #something I’m kinda proud of? idk lol #we love boss babes that take initiative and cute flustered boys #Am I the only one that thinks poppy and ominis would be cute together? #like they both come from families whose values don’t align with theirs? #no? Just me? #Poppy is so cute I surprisingly really enjoyed her quest line! #sebastian sallow x mc

[daily-crowley]

Crowley Of The Day: gorgeous 😍

(I used up all my hashtags that I couldn’t do my usual GO tags that I always do lol I don’t care)

#personal update #I got into Trolls #but I mean really really really into it #new fixation the brainrot is unstoppable #it’s all I think about I’m to the point that I need all Trolls content to survive #all Trolls content HAND IT OVER! merch fanart fics ALL OF IT #I’m so in love with Branch Floyd and John Dory #Rock Zombie Branch is sooooooo #and so I’d Rock Zombie Poppy #I AM THE NUMBER ONE JOHN FORY DEFENDER LEAVE HIM ALONE HE DID NOTHING WRONG AND DOESNT DEAERVE THE HATE HE GETS #I need what Broppy have oh my fucking god it’s so cute the love they have for each other it’s consuming me #and I need more of Branch and Clay those two rule following safety loving nerds would have such a great relationship #DID YOU SEE CLAY FAWNING OVER BRANCH WHEN THEY REUNITED SQUISHING HIS CHEEKS #THATS HIS BABY BROTHER AND HES AS CUTE NOW AS HE WAS WHEN HE WAS A BABY #AND THE ENDING WHEN HE TOLD HIM HE WAS SORRY FOR MISSING HIM GROW UP BUT COULDNT WAIT FOR THWM TO HANG OUT NOW #everyone focuses on Branch and Floyd but I NEED BRANCH AND CLAY #Speaking of Floyd I love him so much. he’s all I think about. that is if I’m not thinking of Branch #John Dory is everything to me? like I’m obsessed with him in a different way. like I said I’ll defend him every single time #BRUUUUUUUCE!!! 💞💞💞💞💞 #Trolls 3 is still in cinemas and I’ve literally been going to rewatch it once a week #no joke I’m going again this Wednesday #AND I HAVE THE FILM AT HOME! I have all 3 of them and I watch them every day #I’m telling you the brainrot is unstoppable I am going insane #People apparently don’t like when I talk about any other interest of mine especially Trolls #it’s like I’m almost not allowed to talk about anything other than Good Omens #so since people don’t like me doing permanent posts YOU’RE GETTING IT IN THE TAGS #okay I’m done…. for now. #Crowley #Crowley Of The Day #Good Omens