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poisonedapples · 3 years

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Patton’s Home For Traumatized Kids - Chapter Five

Bad Memories Don’t Erase

Chapter Summary: Roman tags along with Logan and Virgil to hang out at their friend’s house.

First Chapter Previous Chapter Story Masterlist

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of past abuse, stealing, and one inappropriate joke

Word Count: 4,008

Taglist: @shade-romeo, @grayson-22, @pixelated-pineapple, @acrobaticcatfeline, @astrozei, @edupunkn00b, @princey-7258, @eternalmoonlight19, @remy-the-lemon-berry, @look-ma-im-on-tv, @mariniacipher, @bigwendymonster, @nonbinary-octopus

Notes: This chapter’s a little short, but the next one is gonna be really long, so hopefully that makes up for it

On Sunday the next day, Patton finally took Roman to buy his gym clothes. Roman was trying to hide a goofy smile while sitting in the back seat, desperate to not get his hopes up while also ecstatic his plan was working so far. He was going to have Patton stay in the car while Roman shopped for clothes! This had never worked on his dad before!

By the time Patton finally parked the car in the parking lot of the store, Roman’s chest felt weighted from his anxiety, waiting to see Patton’s final verdict. So long as he didn’t change his mind now, then Roman was in the clear. He hoped to be in the clear.

“Alright, kiddo,” Roman’s heart stopped as Patton pulled out his wallet and gave him some money. “Forty dollars should be more than enough for some pairs of gym pants and shirts. Give me back all the change when you come back, okay?”

“I will! Promise!” Roman wanted to jump for joy. It was working!

“Text me when you’re checking out so you don’t surprise me, and if you see something else you might want, just text me before you buy it so I know. Tell me if you have any issues, okay?”

“Okay!”

Patton smiled. “Go on then, kiddo.”

Roman practically leaped out the door to skip his way to the front entrance of the clothing store, two twenty dollar bills crumbled in his pocket. He got away with it! No parents staring him down while he changed outfits!

Roman walked into the store and tried to hide the skip in his step. With no parents to watch him, he could buy what he actually wanted to wear, no tight pants and scoop neck shirts. No, Roman wanted to look like his real goal. His goal of being a blob of cloth that vaguely resembled a human.

Granted, he’d mostly gotten there. His aunt replaced all of his wardrobe, so his current clothes were a lot more comfortable to wear even if they weren’t very fashionable. Mostly bright colored t-shirts and pants, maybe some shorts if they were able to reach down far enough. Maybe once he was more comfortable with himself he could actually test out more styles, but for now, oversized clothes were all he could handle.

Roman’s walk sped up slightly when his eyes landed on the men’s athletic section. He had to be quick with this, he didn’t want Patton getting impatient and coming in to check on him. Roman looked through the shorts and shirt sizes, easily finding a size up for a couple shirts while heavily struggling on the shorts. Roman groaned. It was always the shorts that caused the issue, they were always too high up. What if he was sitting down and the pant leg rode up too far? No, Roman refused to get something like that willingly.

Roman took all the athletic shorts that could fit him and held them up in front of his legs. Most of them only made it to his lower thigh, but he managed to find two shorts that made it to right below his knee. Roman smiled and bounced on his toes, grabbed his items and rushed to find a dressing room. Once he did, he rushed into the first empty area he saw and locked the door. The mirrors on the walls and gaps in the door made it hard for him to change comfortably, so instead Roman tried to press himself against the very corner of the room when he was changing.

Between the six shirts and two pants Roman found, he was pretty happy with most of his choices. Thankfully, the long shorts looked fine, so Roman hung them up on a hook with a sign over it saying I’m buying this! and considered it a success. However, when it got time to look at the shirts, only three of them were good enough for purchase. The white one he grabbed was practically see-through, and the other two had a scratchy inside material that Roman couldn’t stand, so they got put on the reject hook while the other three passed the test.

For a rushed shopping visit, Roman was pretty pleased with his choices. Two shorts might not be enough for five days worth of classes, but maybe Roman could keep one pair in his locker until it started to stink. Which might be a little gross, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

Roman exited the dressing room and put his rejected shirts on a rack outside, carrying his other items to the checkout area. Before he got in line, he looked at all the price tags and added them up in his head best he could. The shirts were about six dollars each, and the shorts were a little over five after tax. Which means, adding up the extra cents, he’d have to pay twenty nine dollars for the clothes in total. Considering Patton gave him forty dollars, this was plenty.

Roman hesitated for a second. He stuffed his hand into his pocket to feel the money in the palm of his hand while he thought about his options. If he told Patton the truth, Roman would give him eleven dollars and there would be no issues. Patton might let him do this again next time they go shopping, too. But also…Roman had no backup plan. He was stuck with Patton with nowhere to go if things went wrong.

His aunt told him that Roman could always go back to her house if a guardian was abusing him, and he had every intention to take her up on that offer the second the opportunity arose. But even if Roman walked to her house on foot, he had no money for food during that trip. She lived so far away from him now, there was no way to get to safety without a dollar to his name. But if he stole some from Patton, then Roman could have a serious issue on his hands.

Roman slowly walked up to the check out area and handed the teenage worker the clothes. As she scanned all the items with a satisfying beep, Roman felt himself getting antsy. There’s no guarantee Patton will let me do this again. I’ve already gotten away with so much, and the more time I spend around him, the more danger I’m in. But if Patton notices I stole from him, he could be furious. Is there even a right answer here?

“Twenty nine dollars and thirty two cents.” The cashier said cheerfully. Roman handed her the money and she put it in the register, then handed Roman a bunch of coins, two five dollar bills, and a one dollar. She smiled. “Would you like a receipt?”

“Uh, no thank you.”

When the receipt printed, the cashier tore it out and threw it in the trash behind her. “Have a nice day.”

“You too.” Roman squeaked, rushing away from the register to stare at the money. Apparently they ran out of ten dollar bills, because the money was split perfectly for taking without it being obvious. Roman considered this a sign to take his chance. He put a five dollar bill and a quarter in his left pocket and shoved the rest in his right. It wasn’t much, but he could build it up. This was only the beginning.

Roman walked out of the store and tried to act normal instead of anxious. Worst case scenario, he’d say he forgot to bring out the rest and give Patton the other bills. Giving away the quarter also would be too obvious, but he could get away with stealing that at least. When he made it to Patton's car, Roman opened the back seat and tossed his clothes next to him.

“Hey, kiddo!” Patton greeted, “Got any extra cash to give me?”

“Uh, yeah, here.” Roman dug into his right pocket to grab half the money and handed it to him. Patton put the coins in his pocket and put the two bills in his wallet. He didn’t seem to consider how much Roman gave him, instead he started backing out of the driveway and got distracted while reversing. Roman let out a quiet sigh of relief.

He felt the five dollars still stored in his pocket. He got away with it. For now.

***

“We’re home!” Patton announced as he and Roman stepped inside. Logan and Virgil were both lying on the couch, and Logan perked up from his spot.

“Wonderful. We wanted to ask both of you a question.” Logan said.

Patton seemed intrigued. “What question?”

“Can we go to Janus’ house, Pat?” Virgil asked.

“Oh, of course, kiddos! Do you know when you might be back?”

Virgil thought about it. “Probably at six before dinner.”

“Perfect! Just text me if that changes so I don’t worry, okay?”

“We will.” Logan reassured, “And Roman, would you like to come with us?”

Roman tilted his head to the side. “Me? I don’t even know who Janice is.”

Virgil sunk into the couch more. “Friend of ours. Has a snake, talks a lot about philosophy and books. Acts like a tired underaged wine aunt.”

“Right, well, still. Isn’t it a little strange for me to tag along to a stranger's house?” Roman pointed out.

“Janus wouldn’t mind, I’m sure.” Logan said. “Of course, you don’t have to, we simply figured you would like the invitation so you’re not the only one left out.”

Roman’s eyes widened when Logan said that. Wait, shit, if Logan and Virgil are going to this girl’s house, then Roman will be here. Alone. With Patton. Until six in the afternoon.

Roman’s mood change was almost instant. “Well then, perhaps I should go! Make new friends and establish bonds, or whatever!”

Virgil smirked. “Sweet. It’s a short walk, just a block away. Just let us grab our shoes and we can head out.”

“I’ll tell Janus we’ll be bringing a third party.”

Roman let out a breath of relief. As Virgil and Logan grabbed whatever they needed, Roman set his new bag of clothes in his room next to his backpack. He’d have to remember to put some boxers in there before tomorrow morning, too.

Roman felt the five dollars in his pocket again. He took the money and hid it deep in his backpack in a hidden pocket he hoped wasn’t too easy to find. Satisfied with that for now, Roman stepped back outside of his room and waited for the others.

Once everyone was situated, Virgil called out to let Patton know they were leaving the house and then closed the door. Logan and Virgil did most of the talking as they walked while Roman just listened, following behind them and letting the two lead the way.

“Oh, and Roman,” Logan suddenly said during a point of silence, “Another one of our friends may also show up later at Janus’ house. He said he might be coming, so we’ll see.”

Roman shrugged. “Sounds fine to me.”

“Alright.”

No one said anything else after that on the walk. After a while, Virgil and Logan stopped in front of a house and started walking up the driveway to the front door. As Virgil knocked on the door, Roman stood awkwardly off to the side until someone answered.

It wasn’t long before the door swung open, showing a teenage kid with a large birthmark under his left eye. He rested his elbow on the top of the black and yellow cane next to him and smirked. Was he the brother, perhaps?

“I’ve been expecting you.” He said menacingly.

“‘Sup, fucker.” Virgil greeted.

“Hello, Janus.”

Wait, what? Against his better judgment, Roman forced himself to stand in front of Logan to face Janus. “Wait, your name is Janice?” He asked.

Janus put his hand on his face. “Janus. It’s Janus. J-a-n-u-s, not the old lady name Janice.”

Roman felt his face grow hot. “…Oh. Well, uh…”

Janus rolled his eyes and held the door open wider. “Just come inside.”

Virgil was the first to step in, with Logan following after while Roman hesitated. He made an awful first impression, maybe he should just walk around the block for a while instead-

“Come on, my arm is tired.” Janus coaxed. Roman felt too awkward to walk away, so he instead sucked it up and stepped inside the house with everyone else.

The house was quite nice. The walls were painted dark and the carpet was red, but it looked nice in a Victorian era kind of way. On the living room coffee table were piles of fabric and a sewing machine, seemingly making something that looked like a suit. Janus took the cane he was holding and threw it onto the couch. Well, apparently it was just a part of the outfit.

Virgil motioned to all the fabric on the table. “Fuck are you making now, dude?”

“I’m making the refined villain look of my dreams.”

“Nice. When do you think you’ll finish it?”

“Possibly tomorrow. I’ll start on it again after school.”

“Do you make your own clothes?” Roman asked, hoping to distract himself from his previous embarrassment.

Janus smiled slightly. “Less clothes, more costumes. Mostly for myself, but sometimes I make them for the high school’s theater when I’m feeling generous.”

“Oh, that sounds fun!”

“Wanna see Janus’ costume closet?” Virgil asked.

Roman shrugged. “If he wants me to.”

“Oh yeah, just talk about me like I’m not here.” Janus rolled his eyes and motioned for everyone to follow him. He had a downstairs family room with a closet off to the side. Once everyone was downstairs, Janus opened it and let Roman look inside.

“…Woah.” Roman looked at all the costumes, astonished and full of wonder. A lot of them were very extravagant, like they were specifically designed for a dramatic person, so Roman felt a calling toward them. He took a few of them off their hangers to look at; roaring twenties inspired suits and a black dresses with fancy gold finishes. Roman ran his hand on the fabric like they were fancy relics.

“They are quite high-quality.” Logan said, “Costume design is certainly one of Janus’ greatest skills.”

“I can see that.” Roman whispered.

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Don’t make his ego bigger than it already is.”

“Oh no, please do continue, I’m designed to be the center of attention.” Janus smirked.

Roman laughed and put the costumes back on the rack. It seemed like him and Janus were pretty similar in personality, just on opposite ends of the spectrum. Both dramatic artists, except one likes to add that with tons of sarcasm. He could see them getting along quite easily.

“Also, Janus,” Virgil said while looking at his phone, “Rat bastard says he’s coming over. He’ll be here in ten.”

“Ugh, fine. I was getting used to the silence.” Janus sighed.

“…Who’s rat bastard?” Roman asked.

“Friend of ours.” Virgil replied, “You’ll meet him in a bit. He’s a rat bastard. Smells vaguely of cheese.”

“…Attractive.”

“You get used to it.” Janus shrugged. He then smirked at Roman like he got an idea. “Would you like to see my snake?”

Roman’s eyes lit up. “Yes!”

Janus led them all upstairs to his bedroom, Roman following last in the line so he could keep Janus’ door cracked open. As he stepped inside, he noticed a very large cage on the wall to his right. It was very long with lots of wood decorations spread across the container, with a fluorescent lightbulb above it. Roman looked around in the enclosure to try and spot the snake.

Before he could find it, Janus opened the top and stuck his hand in the cage. The snake climbed up his hand onto his arm, and as Janus stuck him out for Roman to see, Roman jumped back.

Janus rolled his eyes. “He’s a corn snake, he’s not known for hurting people.”

Roman still looked at it from a distance. The snake was large enough that Janus had to hold him with both hands, as well as being a mesmerizing yellow color. Roman never had a friend with a pet snake before. “…What’s his name?”

“Lawrence.”

“Nerd.” Virgil called out.

Logan smiled. “I think it is a wonderful name. Lawrence Kohlberg developed the theory on moral development, the very basis for ethical behavior.”

“Nerds.”

“You’re very mature, Virgil.”

Roman ignored them. “I think he’s cool. How old is he?”

“About five. I’ve had him for a while now.”

A buzz came from Virgil’s phone, making him check it and read the message. “Rat bastard says he’s outside your door.” He announced.

Janus didn’t seem rushed. “He can get in on his own.”

Roman laughed, and Janus set Lawrence back in his enclosure so he could bask underneath the heat lamp. Roman still watched his movements from inside the cage. “I wish I had a pet.”

“Patton would get you a dog in seconds if you asked.” Logan suggested.

Roman shook his head. “It’s fine, I won’t ask.” He didn’t really know what kind of pet he even wanted, and besides, it’s not like he’d be able to keep it once he leaves Patton’s house. There was no point.

Suddenly, a loud stomping came from the stairs outside Janus’ bedroom. Roman yelped and ran to hide behind Janus in the corner of the room, but the others didn’t react.

Roman sputtered. “What the-”

Before Roman could finish, a large bang came as someone kicked open the door and let it smack into the wall.

“I’m back by unpopular demand!”

“Hello, Remus.”

Roman completely froze up at the sound of that name. He turned around to look at the person that just busted down Janus’ bedroom door, a kid with messy hair and peach fuzz for a mustache, ripped jeans in the summer with a cast boot on his right foot.

Roman felt himself choke on air as he processed what was in front of him.

“Slugs are goopy like jello! So jello is made of slugs, duh!”

“Remus, that’s gross! No one would make food out of slugs!”

“What’s up, fuckers!” Remus announced. “I’m back from the pits of hell! Also known as the emergency room.”

Roman didn’t say anything, only stared at him in disbelief. Remus’ voice was a lot different now. He’d hit puberty, so the pitch had dropped a lot from what Roman was used to. A tuft of his hair was white, also. Roman couldn’t tell if it was dye or a condition.

That piece of hair and Remus’ mustache were the only things that made them both look apart now.

“What actually happened?” Logan asked. “You never told us specifics.”

“I broke my foot sucking too much-”

“Remus.” Janus warned.

“Fine, fine. I tripped trying to run up some steps and my fall didn’t look badass at all. Don’t tell people that though. If anyone asks, I broke it running from the cops.”

Janus nodded and smirked. “Noted.”

“We brought a third foster brother, also.” Virgil noted. Roman stopped breathing.

“Oh, really? Shit, I fuckin missed everything!” Roman looked in the corner trying to avoid Remus noticing him, but it was never that easy. “Why hello, welcome to our humble- …Oh, fuck.”

Remus tilted his head to make eye contact with Roman, and the surprise on Remus’ face was something Roman would never forget. He seemed genuinely baffled, like nothing in the world would have prepared him for what he saw. Roman wanted to cry.

I wanted to leave behind these people.

“…Roman?” Remus finally said, “Dude, holy fuck, I haven’t seen you in forever!”

“Wait,” Virgil staggered, “You know each other already?”

“He’s my fucking cousin!” Remus exclaimed. “Come on, look at us, we’re only a little related but we look like twins!”

Logan turned to Roman. “Is this true?”

Roman could feel the tears ready to burst. His throat was scratchy, but he tried to talk anyway. “…I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Come on, Princey, don’t be shy!” Remus teased. “We used to be best friends, let everyone believe we were twins until our moms called our shit out. Absolute bastard children- …wait. Wait a fucking second.”

“What is it?” Janus asked.

Remus turned to Virgil and Logan with a shocked and confused face. “…You said he’s your foster brother?”

Logan nodded. “That is correct.”

Remus turned to Roman, seemingly at a loss for words. “…Dude, the fuck? What happened?”

Roman looked at the floor, gripping onto his arm so hard it’d be a miracle if there weren’t marks later. “I said I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I mean, I know I haven’t seen you since your mom fucked off to Neverland, but what happened to your dad? He’s still alive and shit isn’t he? The hell happened?”

“I said I don’t want to fucking talk about it!” Roman seethed, grinding his teeth together as he practically growled out that sentence.

Virgil flinched violently. “Roman-”

“Whatever!” Roman pushed Remus off to the side and kicked the door fully open, storming his way down the stairs despite the sounds of people yelling for him to come back. Roman stomped out the front door and took a sprint for it down the block, not caring if he had to be alone with Patton, so long as he wasn’t here.

“I bet you would eat a slug!”

“No I wouldn’t! Liar!”

“Boys, boys!” Roman’s mother laughed, crouching down to meet their eye level from their place sitting in the grass. “No eating slugs. Be nice to the bugs or we’ll go back inside.”

“Yeah, Remus!”

Remus huffed. “I’m not doing anything!”

“Not yet!”

Roman’s mother laughed again. “I’m going to help Uncle André with dinner. But I better not hear a fight, okay?”

“Okay!” Roman promised, watching as his mom went back inside his uncle’s house into the kitchen. Roman and Remus continued to play in the grass by looking at bugs and telling stories to each other, making Roman smile more than he has in a long time. He always loved going to Remus’ house. His dad never came with them, so he and his mom were always happier.

“How come we never go to your house?” Remus eventually asked after a few minutes of playing. Roman stuck his tongue out.

“‘Cause our house is tiny and the backyard isn’t as cool.”

“Still! When you come over, you never bring Uncle Theo!”

“Good!” Roman defended, “Dad’s boring so he doesn't getta come!”

“I like him! He’s fun and nice and always brings chocolate!”

“He’s awful!” Roman covered his mouth after he blurted that out. Remus gave him a look.

“He’s not awful!”

Roman looked over to the glass sliding door. His mom was in there, he could see her, but she couldn’t hear him. Maybe he could get away with it. He could tell Remus a secret and his mom would never find out.

Roman hesitantly took his hands away from his mouth. His tone grew to be a lot softer. “…He is, though.”

Remus tilted his head to the side like a dog. “What makes him awful?”

“…Promise not to tell anyone?”

Remus leaned in closer. “Uh huh!”

“No one at all, ever?”

“Triple quadruple promise!”

Roman looked back at his mom. She wasn’t paying attention to him, seemingly talking to his uncle and pouring juice into cups. Roman hesitated for a moment. “…My dad-”

“Boys! Dinner’s ready!” Roman’s mom called out, making Roman jump almost a foot in the air. Both of them got off of the grass to walk inside, but before they did, Remus turned to Roman again.

“Your dad what?”

“…Nevermind.” He missed his chance. Remus would never find out, and Roman never told anyone for another five years.

Roman ran faster down the street at the memory, fighting back the tears in his eyes. It was fine. Roman was fine.

He never wanted to talk to Remus again.

#roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #thomas sanders #ts roman #ts patton #ts logan #ts virgil #ts remus #ts janus #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #foster au #implied past abuse #past abuse #stealing

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daised-daisy · 3 years

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Stay Instead

Ships: Logince, almost Roceit

Summary: After Logan had enough and moved to the “dark” side, Roman is devastated and can’t do anything but miss him. Then finally as he’s starting to move on, a special someone pays him a visit.

Word Count: 2,506

Warnings: Yelling, Roman gets very angry

It was a regular night, and Roman hated that. He hated that Logan being gone and Janus being there was suddenly normal. He hated seeing Janus sitting in Logan’s spot on the couch like it had been his all along. Roman sat at the other end of the couch, his constant glaring going unnoticed by its target. Virgil sat closest to Roman, but a bit of space stayed between them. He laid sideways with his legs bent. He was listening to music on his headphones while scrolling on his phone. After Virgil sat Patton, who worked on a cross-stitching project he’d started a while ago, but never got around to finishing. Logan usually read a book, but Janus read magazines. Logan held his books in one hand, his elbow resting on the arm of the couch. Janus usually held the magazine up in front of his face, but today he had it in his lap. Roman scoffed. He was going to get a cramp in his neck. He opened his mouth to tell him that in an all but helpful tone but froze when he realized something else was slightly different about Janus.

He was wearing glasses. Glasses that looked just like Logan’s.

Roman filled with rage and sadness as the sight tugged at his already aching heart. Tears threatened to spill, and his mouth curled into a scowl, his brows knitted together. He stood up, grabbing Virgil’s attention.

“Ro? What are you doing?” he asked.

“You can’t replace him! You’ll never replace him!” Roman shouted, ignoring Virgil and gaining the attention of the other two. He launched himself at Janus, snatching his glasses off his face and holding them tightly to his chest, tears streaming down his cheeks. “You’re not him! You can’t pretend to be him!” He sunk onto his knees.

“Roman!” Patton scolded, standing up. Janus held up his hand to Patton and looked at Roman as he continued to mumble weak insults about how Janus could never be like Logan. Patton hesitantly sat back, watching Janus and Roman closely.

“Roman, would you like me to sit in a different spot?” he asked, his voice gentle. Roman was familiar with Janus’s smooth tone. It was what he used when manipulating him. But this tone sounded different. It sounded genuine, though Roman was still hesitant to believe it actually was. He hiccuped and nodded nonetheless. Janus stood up, then kneeled down in front of the sobbing prince. Roman clutched Janus’s glasses tighter to his chest, keeping his eyes squeezed shut. Janus took off his glove and brought a hand up to his cheek. When Roman felt Janus’s skin against his cheek, he opened his eyes, letting the darkness give way to Janus’s warm smile. “Would it be okay if I sat next to you instead?” Roman hesitated before nodding again.

Janus slowly stood up, his hand leaving Roman’s cheek. Roman immediately missed his touch, which he didn’t expect. But Janus kept his hand held out. Roman looked at it unsurely. He reluctantly let go of the glasses with one hand and took Janus’s, letting him pull him up. Roman looked at the glasses in his other hand and held them out to Janus.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered.

“I can’t say it’s okay, but I understand, and I forgive you,” Janus told him softly, then smirked. “Besides, I deserved it a little bit.” Roman giggled and wiped the tears off his cheek with his sleeve. “Also, if the glasses upset you that much, I won’t wear them. I can fashion up another pair that look less like… his.”

“Thank you,” Roman said. Janus nodded and led Roman back over to the other side of the couch, sitting down first to allow Roman to decide how much distance he wanted between them. Roman chose none, sitting right next to Janus and leaning into his side. Janus happily welcomed this, putting his arm around Roman. The prince closed his eyes and finally relaxed for the first time since Logan had left.

Patton smiled proudly and gratefully at Janus, who returned one as well. Virgil rolled his eyes but couldn’t hold back a small grin of his own as he turned back to his phone. Logan, on the other hand, wasn’t smiling. His face remained neutral as he watched from the shadows. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply to keep himself calm as he sunk out back into the dark side of the mind.

“I want to start tonight,” he said as he rose up in the dark side living room. Remus stopped shaking salt and pepper into each eye and looked at him.

“But I’m in the middle of an experiment,” Remus whined. Logan glanced at him and sighed.

“I already told you, Remus. Both salt and pepper will irritate your eyes,” Logan said. “And this setup is a disaster anyway. If you want proper results you’d need to have a equal amount of salt and pepper, but you’re barely even estimating it. It won’t yield proper results.”

“Fine,” Remus groaned, setting down the salt and pepper shaker, then standing up and waving Logan over. “Let’s get to the imagination.”

~ one week later ~

“Goodnight, Janus,” Roman said as they stood in front of Roman’s door, staring into each other’s eyes. “Thanks for sitting with me again. You make me feel a lot less lonely.” Janus smiled down at him lovingly.

“I’d do anything to make up for before, my prince,” he said his eyes briefly flickering to Roman’s lips. “Just don’t ask me to give you the most beautiful thing in the world because I don’t know how to give you to yourself.” He put a hand to Roman’s cheek, holding it gently. Roman giggled softly, a blush sprinkling his face.

“You’re so sweet,” Roman said, stepping closer. “Let me thank you.” Janus nodded, and Roman grabbed his face, stood up on his tiptoes and leaned in to kiss him. Janus’s heart sped up, fluttering as Roman got closer. He let his eyes fall closed and waited for their lips to meet.

“Roman.”

Roman froze in place, his eyes shooting open when he heard that familiar voice he’d been missing so much. He let go of Janus’s face, much to Janus’s dismay, and spun around to face the source, almost letting out a sob when he saw Logan standing behind him. Janus scowled.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice seething with almost disgust for the former light side.

“I came to speak with Roman,” Logan said, his eyes flickering between Roman and Janus. “Alone.” Roman looked back at Janus pleadingly. Janus scoffed but walked off anyway.

“Logan,” Roman breathed once they were alone in the hallway. He stepped closer and placed his hands on Logan’s chest, partially afraid his hands might go right through him and he’d find it was only an illusion. “Oh my god. It’s really you.” He laughed. “It’s you!” Logan froze when Roman flung his arms around him.

“Roman, I… there’s something I want you to see,” Logan said stiffly. Roman stepped back.

“What is it?” he asked. Logan bit his lip and hesitantly grabbed Roman’s hand, then let go again uncertainly.

“M-may I?” he asked. Roman nodded, holding his hand out to Logan. Logan took it again, feeling Roman’s slim delicate fingers, perfect for creating intricate crafts as Roman often did, rest against his palm and holding Roman’s hand with his own thicker, rougher fingers that hadn’t seen as many lotions and creams as Roman’s had. With his other hand, Logan turned Roman’s doorknob.

“Where are we going?” Roman ask with a raised brow as Logan pulled him into his own room.

“The imagination,” Logan answered, opening Roman’s portal and stepping inside. Roman followed curiously, still gripping Logan’s hand tight. “Look, I never know how to say this, so I’m going to show you instead.”

“Show me what?” Roman asked, then gasped softly as they came upon a candle-lit table under a pink canopy surrounded by rose bushes. Remus stood beside it with a proud smile, gesturing at it with his hands. He then bowed and slowly walked backwards away from it. “What is this?”

“I asked Remus to help me create it,” Logan said. “But it was my idea.”

“It’s lovely,” Roman said, continuing towards it. He knelt beside one of the rose bushes and admired its flowers. While he was looking away, Remus snuck back in beside Logan and changed his clothing to a dark blue suit, which Logan hadn’t expected. Before he could comment on it, Remus rushed over to his brother and sneakily changed his clothing to a cute red dress that he knew Roman liked.

He didn’t even notice the change until he stood up and felt a slight breeze against his bare legs. He looked down and his eyes widened, but his surprised expression quickly melted into a smile and he spun around, the skirt of his dress twirling around him.

He looked up at Logan, his face heating up at the sight of Logan in his suit. He was so used to Logan being a nerdy mess all of the time, seeing him so together like this was… different. But a good different!

“You look very handsome,” Roman said, suddenly not so proud of his own outfit, doubting he looked as good in it as Logan did in his. Logan walked up to Roman and immediately smothered those doubts.

“You look… incredible,” he said in a soft tone of almost disbelief. “Gorgeous, I mean! No, amazing!” He laughed. “I can’t decide which word fits you best.” Roman giggled, his face heating up even more. Not just from the compliment. Hearing Logan laughed so freely made his heart flutter. He rarely heard it before and it was so beautiful.

“Thank you,” he said. “For all of this. It’s wonderful.”

“Don’t thank me yet. The evening has just begun,” Logan said, taking Roman’s hand and leading him over to the table. He pulled out a chair for him and he sat down. Then Logan sat himself in the other seat across the small table.

“Baguette! Baguette! French words!” Remus’s voice came as he swooped in again, this time donning a chef’s uniform. Roman already felt like throwing up. Nothing Remus made could be edible or safe.

But to his surprise, Remus set down a simple peanut butter and jelly sandwich in front of Roman, and it looked like actual peanut butter and jelly. And it smelled like actual peanut butter and… Crofters!”

“Bone apple tea!” Remus said. Roman giggled as he watched his brother strut away. He looked back at Logan with a bright smile. Logan’s heart fluttered at the sight. He’d missed seeing Roman happy. He hardly saw him at all since he left the light sides and even when he occasionally lurked in the living room shadows to watch him and the others, Roman was always frowning.

“What are you staring at?” Roman asked. Logan blinked a few times and sat up from where he was leaning over with his chin held up by the back of his hands and his elbows on the table. Roman was still smiling, but now a blush accompanied it, making him all the more cuter.

“I... Looking at your smile makes me feel… happy!” Logan said, proud of himself for admitting his emotions. “A-and warm! On the inside, I mean.”

“Logan, you’re… acting different,” Roman noted, his brows coming together. He picked up his sandwich and took a bite.

“Different? Does that displease you? I can revert back to my original—“

“No, no! It’s a good different!” Roman assured him, and Logan relaxed, picking up his sandwich and starting to eat as well. “I like this Logan.”

“You like me?” Logan repeated, a grin growing on his face. He set the sandwich down. “I make you feel happiness?”

“More than that,” Roman admitted.

“And how does… Janus make you feel?” Logan’s lips curled into a scowl at just the thought of him and Roman together like earlier.

Roman sighed. “Conflicted. Confused. Unsure.” He frowned. “Bad.”

“Then why did you almost—”

“I don’t know!” Roman suddenly sobbed, putting his head in his hands. “Because I missed you and I wanted to pretend he could make up for you being gone but he can’t!”

“Oh no, please do not cry! I will make it better; just tell me how,” Logan promised, standing up. Roman looked up at him with tears in his eyes. He sniffed and wiped his cheeks with his wrist.

“Just…” he began, his voice shaking. “Come back to me.” Logan gazed down at Roman sadly and shook his head. Roman let out another sob, holding himself and hunching over. Logan quickly fell onto his knees in front of Roman and held his face in his hands, but Roman shoved him away and stood up. He started to run.

“Roman!” Logan called out after him. Remus popped back in.

“What did you do, dumb butt?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Logan said. “I just told him I wasn’t going back to the others.”

“He probably thinks that means you don’t want to be with him either, you idiot!” Remus scolded, shoving him towards where Roman ran off. “Go after him!” Logan started running. He caught up to Roman and grabbed his waist, pulling him back against him.

“Stay with me,” he whispered into his ear. Roman stopped and looked at him. He repeated. “Stay with me, Roman.”

“You mean… be a dark side?” Roman asked.

“There are no dark sides or light sides, Roman,” Logan said. “The only difference will be where you stay. They don’t listen to you anyway. Please, be with me.”

“I… I want to, but…” he began, though he couldn’t find the words to follow. He had no but. No reason to stay. He nodded and lunged forward, smashing their lips together. Logan held on tight to him.

“You’re mine. All mine,” Logan mumbled against his lips. He pulled back and smiled. “I love you, Roman. And I’m not ashamed of it anymore.” Roman smiled back at him.

“I love you too, Logan,” he said. “And I’m proud of you for letting yourself feel things. I’m so proud of you.” He wiped his eyes. “Oh god I’ve missed you. I can’t wait to listen to one of your informational rants or even just hear you scold me for being dumb.” He laughed a little.

“You want to hear my rants?” Logan asked. “But I’ve been practicing keeping them in so I wouldn’t annoy you if you agreed to stay with me.” Roman’s heart sunk.

“Oh Logan…” he began. “Of course I do. I love you so much. I love hearing you talk and watching you get excited about what you’re talking about.” He glanced up at the sky and smiled. “Come on. Let’s not waste any time.” He sat down, pulling Logan down with him, and pointed at the sky.

“Tell me about the stars, my love.”

#logince #roman sanders #logan sanders #sanders sides #daisy writing #dark side logan

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rainbowbutterfrosting · 3 years

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Okay, but ‘Erase Me’ hits different after the newest episode (lyrics in bold, discussion/analysis in normal text)

What was our home

“Home” it’s an odd word for the sides. Especially with the recent episodes. With tension flowing between all of them with ease, it’s hard to question if they can truly find comfort in on another. Easily represented by none of the sides (other than Logan and Remus) being there throughout Thomas’ day. This isn’t like the other episodes where they’re all having a discussion together about Thomas getting overwhelmed.

Instead, Thomas feels isolated for most of it, fighting a battle with his mind (mind referring to his intrusive thoughts, his sides, and Logan’s agenda for the day)

Paper not stone

Everything seemed to... change so quickly. They went from Embarrassing Phases with cute Halloween costumes and friendly jokes about cringe and vine directly into SvS and DWIT where Thomas questions if he’s a good person while his mental health quickly declines.

In a similar way, paper is fragile and flimsy, easily ripped apart.

‘Paper not stone’ could also be a way to reference Logan’s agenda for the day. All of it can be discarded and saved for Future Thomas™ since none of it is really set in stone.

A lean-to at most

Logan is nothing to Thomas- or at least he feels that way. He’s only someone who can calm Thomas down. Thomas can ‘lean’ on him, but that’s the most he is.

And when you pulled your half away

I’d like to think half has a few different meanings here. The one I like the most is where “half” represents Thomas’ attention. He’s pulled to Nico, he’s pulled to Remus, he’s pulled to anxiety.

Logan recognizes this and calms him down. He lets him have breaks and gently guides Thomas back to their schedule once he’s a bit better.

Half could also represent for when he pulls away from Logan and listens to the other sides more. In this episode, he practically listens to everyone but Logan, despite him being the most physically there. He’s listening to his spiraling intrusive thoughts (Virgil’s fear and Remus’ role). He’s listening to his worry about Nico’s feelings for him (Virgil’s fear and Roman’s passion). He’s taking breaks and indulging in what he loves (Janus’ role and Patton’s enjoyment in child-like activities such as disney princess puzzles and dancing to up-beat music)

He might be the side the camera follows around, but he certainly isn’t the main character by far.

Gravity won Like it always does

Logan isn’t winning this battle. Of course he isn’t. He never does. Thomas is pulled down by the figurative gravity of all the other sides, while Logan is left there alone.

In theory, he grounds Thomas the most, but Thomas also naturally drifts away from him. Using his role as logic for quick comfort before listening to someone else for an actual discussion.

Did I weigh a ton?

Is he weighing Thomas down? Is he making him unhappy? He thought he was good at one point, helping Thomas earn a degree in college and organizing a schedule for him so he could live life comfortably.

Yet the degree is tilted on the wall. The schedule would have been torn up if Thomas was given a paper.

Would it be easier to just delete Our pages and the plans we made?

Would it be easier for Logan to give up? He certainly isn’t needed, Thomas didn’t listen to Logan the whole day and he was still fine. He made pages of things Thomas needed to do along with the plans that Thomas agreed to. Only for them to be pushed to the side since something grabbed his attention.

And perhaps Logan saves these plans. He keeps them to help Thomas. Maybe to even create more realistic ones. But perhaps Thomas just won’t listen to him. He should just delete the plans he has. Thomas has always been great at improv. Maybe someone like Roman should take control- he’s been listening to him more than Logan anyway. (Represented through the whole Nico situation)

Erase me So you don't have to face me

Thomas turns away from Logan at the end, leaving him alone in the living room. He’s erasing Logan from his mind, finding an opportunity he wants because he doesn’t need Logan.

Put me in the ground and mow the daisies

Was mowing the lawn on the list of things Thomas needed to do? Nope. Is Thomas mowing over his ideas for something more exciting anyway? Yep.

Ah, the memory, see how it goes When you

Erase me Erase me

“The memory” is Logan. It represents how he was aware of his own outburst at Remus, he knows he lost control. But maybe he’ll also ‘see how it goes’ when Thomas starts ignoring him even more. Perhaps his eyes will stay orange. Perhaps Orange will just take his place entirely.

So what will you do With no me for you?

Thomas needs him- right? I mean, there’s no one else to create the schedules and plans... that Thomas doesn’t use. He helped earn Thomas’ degree! The... the degree he doesn’t use.

Maybe Logan is useless. Maybe Thomas can’t function without him. Logan doesn’t even want to know at this point.

I know what we said

Logan knows he technically agreed to Thomas leaving and going to Nico, but he can’t help but feel bitter about it.

This bitterness rises when he’s with the other sides. Roman disregards him, “You’ll be fine, Rome didn’t fall in a day.” Logan hasn’t been ignored for more than one day. He isn’t fine. He’s more than what he’s acknowledged as, he quickly responds with emotion filling his mind, “Well, that’s a misquote so-”

Only to get fucking cut off. Again. He isn’t fine. He’s getting ignored and cut off whenever he tries to input something. Then Patton takes control of the conversation. Directing it at Thomas instead of Logan. Taking Roman’s side. Not listening to logic.

But what if I left a thing or two

Logan just needs to stop. He needs to stop talking, leave a plan or two in Thomas’ mind while a side or two keeps him busy for the day.

We know that you don't seem To think about what you need 'Til you reach to find that you've

Erased me

Imagine telling someone that you really want to do something with them. You both clear out the whole day at an agreed time. Then they want to do something else. You- you suppose it’s fine? You both go there and then you get side-tracked again, and again, and- the day is over.

They don’t care about what they were supposed to do. Thomas didn’t care about what he was supposed to do. Most of the things he was supposed to do didn’t even directly benefit Logan. They were things he needed to function, things to keep his place nice, not reading a non-fiction book or watching a documentary. They were things Thomas needed. But apparently that wasn’t a good enough reason to listen to logic.

What the fuck is this? You're crazy, turned around

Logan is fed up with how Thomas keeps ignoring him. Keeps getting distracted. “Turned around” turned around from the task at hand.

“What the fuck is this?” could be to Remus. Constantly bothering Thomas, getting him distracted over and over. Going the complete opposite direction of where they should be going. And not listening to him when talked to about it.

In two weeks time replaced me

Thomas doesn’t need Logan. It’s clear from his daily routine. All he needs is someone to offer the idea of dancing or a puzzle to him and he’s fine again.

Ah, the memory everybody knows How it goes you just

Erase me

Logan is well-known throughout the mindscape. He’s known as a nerd, a geek, a nobody. Most of the names he could wear with pride, but he’s nobody. Nobody to Thomas and nobody in the grand scheme of things. Perhaps the other sides would be fine with Logan getting “erased.” They seem to regard his name with distaste anyway.

Did me like a bro and tazed me

Logan makes little flashcards for slang and tries to use them. Almost like a child proudly showing a high test score to their parent. He wants so badly to be acknowledged, to be heard, to be cool.

Fireworks - poof - it's gone, amazing

Thomas is gone. The fireworks went off in his heart and he’s gone. Logan- Logan should be happy for him. It’s amazing as some would call it. He holds the to-do list to his chest as he sinks out.

New bio, you've gone solo Drawing mustaches on our wedding photo

Nothing is important, not really. It can all be quickly discarded. “New bio” could be talking to Nico and changing a social media bio to dating or something like that.

“You’ve gone solo.” Haha that’s funny. Thomas is practically anything but solo with Logan. The line is said with such anger and bitterness that it’s no wonder why he thinks he means nothing to Thomas.

“Drawing mustaches on our wedding photo” What else is Remus going to ruin for Logan? Drawing on Thomas’ degree with mustaches?

Erase me Erase me Erase me...

Erase me This is us shouting, baby Erase me

Logan is begging, screaming, shouting for someone to acknowledge that he’s being ignored. But he’s being ignored, so they don’t hear him. Of course they don’t hear him.

Do we call the cops now, baby?

Cops is Orange. Take this as you will.

Ah, the memory everybody knows About the brand new home

There’s no distress in this line. Everyone is fine about the idea of Logan leaving to go into a new ‘home.’ He wasn’t important, so why would they worry? Thomas clearly didn’t seem to worry as he ran out of the house, searching for Nico. Thomas didn’t need him in the slightest.

Erase me And you'll never have to face me

Erase something off the to-do list. Erase the signature on the degree. Erase him.

Erase me Option-Command-Escape me And if you feel nothing Guess what I'll wanna be

Huh, I wonder what he wants to be :)

#ts spoilers #sanders sides #logan angst #logan sanders #ts logan #logan playlist #logan sanders playlist #sanders sides playlist #sanders sides analysis #logan analysis #logan sanders analysis #wtit #ts wtit #wtit spoilers #working through intrusive thoughts

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rain-bound · 4 years

Text

Moceit Headcanons

Janus immediately starts to catch feelings for Patton after the whole "you and i both know that's not true" line. The gentle reassurance and soft smile is what did it. He denies/represses the hell out of it, naturally. (luckily for him, he was good at it). Just the sound of Patton's laughter made him feel like picking sunflowers and petting cute dogs. And boy was he terrified of that feeling.

When Lee and Mary-lee come by, (and Leslie is ‘excused’ by Janus) Patton invites him for mimosas. They don’t talk, they just drink and watch Thomas play Kingdom Hearts with his friends. It was nice.

Janus has a very… Different idea of what a prank is, given what he did to Roman during the trial. Patton decides to teach him about actual pranks, as a healthier outlet. He then demonstrates replacing vanilla pudding with mayonnaise. (“so poisoning your enemies is ok-””nO”)

A few days later, Patton bites into an unpleasantly minty oreo.

Prank wars are now a regular thing between them. Affectionate sabotage, as Janus calls it.

Patton is the only one that Janus will let touch him. No I will not elaborate.

When one of them spots the other entering a room, they greet each other with a very serious “Morality.””Deceit.” and then glare at each other until they break out into a fit of giggles

Basically they got a whole joke-y “my esteemed rival” thing going on.

Speaking of giggles

As a pun lover himself, Janus laughs at almost every one of Patton’s puns. It made Patton feel all warm and fluttery inside, and he nearly fainted when he heard Janus’ real laugh. (he’s the only one who’s ever heard it)

So they tell each other puns constantly to try and make the other laugh

They flirt all the time too

It seems less like flirting, and more like playful teasing, but under the surface its 100% flirting

Janus HAS tried flirting-flirting with Patton, but he found that it would force him to confront feelings that he would really prefer not to. That, and Patton was completely unaffected by his charm. He would either tilt his head in confusion or laugh and call it ‘sweet’. It infuriated Janus to no end.

Patton is very attracted to Janus’ hands. Again, I will not elaborate. (Nor do I need to.)

One day Patton was mowing the lawn outside and he saw a honeybee, and was like !!!! black and yellow!!! And ‘honeybee’ became his go-to nickname for Jan.

Needless to say, Janus melted the first time he heard it. (and every other time, too.)

By the time Janus finally acknowledges his feelings, it turns out that he’s actually in love with Patton now. Greeeat! So he decides to take a risk and finally confess to him, or else he figured he might EXPLODE

So he wanders down stairs one night and Patton is there making Late Night Cookies (as you do) and when Patton turns to greet him, he kinda stutters out an “I need to tell you something…”

And ofc Janus is not the best at verbally expressing his feelings, so he’s a bit at a loss for words. After a few seconds of just blushing and avoiding eye contact, he gives up on words and starts taking off his gloves. Patton goes “??? W-what… what are you doing, Jan?” (while blushing cuz HANDS)

Janus sorta corners Patton til he’s up against the counter, and interlocks their fingers. He stares into Patton’s eyes, and oh no oh god they’re so pretty

Janus glances at Patton’s (pretty, pink) lips (They’re currently trying to form a coherent sentence, if you were wondering). And then Patton glances at his. He mumbles an apology and leans in to kiss him. Just the barest brush of lips, but it's like fireworks for them both.

Janus barely pulls away before Patton completely crushes him in a hug and says with the biggest grin, “You LIKE me?!?!”

"Guilty as charged~"

#i hope the html works lol #post #sanders sides #moceit #patton sanders #deceit sanders #janus sanders #patceit #headcanons #sanders sides headcanons #sanders sides fanfiction #bullet fic #long post

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sidespart · 3 years

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The Fall of King Romulus Part 3

Summary: Twin Princes Remus and Romulus are cursed at birth with Honesty and Obedience. When Romulus, who cannot disobey any order, is told to kill his brother the next time he lays eyes on him, he changes his name to Roman and runs away. Roman joins up with a misfit group of adventures and plans to never return to his homeland. But the fae have other plans for him…

Warnings (for whole fic not necessarily individual chapters): Violence, mind whammying/memory altering, curse of obedience related consent issues, references to sex, references to war related injuries/PTSD, references to child abuse/neglect (YMMV on that one but just in case), antagonstic-but-not-exactly villian!Janus, Extremly-moraly-dubious-but-not-exacty-unsympathetic-Remus

Pairings: Mostly Platonic LAMP and all the found family feels. Could be read as pre-slash.

Feedback appreciated.

NOW ON AO3 :D

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Remus. Remus, Remus, Remus.

The mad Prince of Notaleveale.

Remus was coming here. Remus was coming to Steveange and if Romulus saw him-

Roman had to leave.

Which was easier said than done; when the streets were crowded with hoards of shoppers and revellers all pressing against him, blocking his path, stealing the air out of his lungs-

“Roman!”

He needed to go. He need to find Virgil and Patton in whatever rooms they’d managed to find, collect his belongings and-

No. That would take too long – he could replace the clothes and books, he already had his sword-

“Roman, what’re you-”

- but he needed his lute. To make any kind of living he had to be able to perform. It was the only thing he was good at and once he’d got away he’d be -

He could do it. He’d run away before. He survived alone, without anyone, he could do it again and-

“Roman! Stop!”

He stopped.

Logan. Heading towards him. But he hadn’t given a time frame and if Roman grit his teeth and pushed past the spike of pain he could start to move again in just a second-

“Wait!”

Dammit.

Roman waited. Fists clenched by his side, until Logan was next to him.

“Roman.”

His chest was tight. His brain wasn’t -wasn’t working right and Logan looked so odd, with his glasses askew and his face flushed – had he been running?

“I thought I saw Patton.” Roman blurted.

It was the first excuse that popped into his head and it was clearly not – not good enough. Logan was frowning at him, a pinched expression, studying him like an experiment and-

Roman hated him, suddenly.

Logan was an upstart swot with ideas above his station and a chip on his shoulder. He poked and prodded and lost them jobs with his terse words and his better than you attitude. He reminded Roman of the tutors who snap at him for his lack of understanding and bark orders for him to recite, repeat, remember, to be better, smarter, stronger: someone worthy of his title.

He reminded him most of all of Julius. His fathers closest advisor, who had been charged with unravelling the Princes’ curses. He was the one who had helped Romulus learn how to push against his curse. He would give him orders that were almost impossible to follow and watch with cold eyes as Romulus struggled to disobey. Together they’d categorised how much pain he could withstand, what orders could be navigated and misinterpreted and which ones he was truly helpless against.

Once, he’d bid Romulus to stand on one leg. And left him there until his muscles started to cramp and shake, waiting to see if gravity or the curse was stronger. Romulus had been in tears by the end. Had even wondered, briefly, about complaining to his parents. But is was such a silly, innocuous order compared to other experiments. What had truly upset him was how Julian had just stood there, not speaking, his eyes distant and cold and calculating as he noted down every twitch and whimper from the boy. Even when he circled him, Romulus could feel those eyes boring into the back of his neck like a-

“Princey.”

Roman blinked. Julius’ practice room disappeared, replaced with the sights and sound of the Steveange street. Logan was in front of him and his eyes were far from cold. When he spoke it was with the same gentle tone that Roman had heard him use when Virgil’s worries overwhelmed him or when Patton woke from a nightmare and didn’t know where he was.

“Did the cro- the woman. Did she say something to you?” Logan was holding his hand. Gently but firmly, he tugged at Romans tightly clenched fingers, encouraging them to unfurl. Roman stared uncomprehendingly at the deep crescent marks he’d made in his palm.

Slowly, Logan released his right hand and reached for his left, repeating the process.

Roman felt shame ripple through him.

Logan wasn’t Julius. Logan would never push him so far he broke.

Logan was his friend and Roman has made him worry with his silly behaviour and his slapdash lie. But he could fix it.

He forced a smiled. Flexed his fingers and straightened up his full height. Made a show of looking around him.

“I swear I saw him. Big man, big sword, big smile – he’s hard to mistake!”

Hesitantly, Logan glanced around too before quickly refocusing on Roman.

“Are you sure you –“

“Ah well, the mind plays trick I suppose – must be hunger getting to me, speaking of which…”

Roman reached forward and deftly snatched the bag from Logan's grasp, reaching in blindly and shoving the first pastry he found into his mouth.

“Mmmm so good!” He beamed at Logan with berry stained teeth, flakes of pastry flying through the air. “Aren’t you going to have one?”

Logan stared at him. Roman kept his smile sweet and his eyes clear. He held up the bag and wiggled it enticingly.

Hesitantly, Logan took the bag and selected a tart. Keeping his eyes on the bard the entire time, he ate his treat with much more refinement then Roman had shown. “Holding back?” Roman asked, teasing, “I’ve seen you eat jam before, there’s no point pretending to have table manners now.”

Logan just hmphed but his shoulders relaxed slightly and Roman decided to take that as a victory. “We should get going” Roman said and started walking, Logan easily falling into step beside him.

The streets were crowded enough that none of the sellers seemed to feel the need to call to Roman specifically, and so this time he was free to investigate the stalls he was actually interested in.

But instead he stayed by Logan's side

Logan was a good friend. For all he claimed to lack an understating of emotional nuances he was letting Roman have his space. He’d even distracted him earlier, when his biggest concern had been the a spike of homesickness after meeting their northern customer.

He was nothing like Julius.

Roman was going to miss him so much.

***

Roman kept up his performance of normality all the way back to the main square, where they had agreed to meet the others once their mission was done. The sky was beginning to turn dark by the time they got there, though it was easy enough to navigate from the sheer number of stalls still in operation, each one boasting its own selection of colourful lanterns.

“This is fantastic!” Roman gasped theoretically, spinning on one foot to take in the whole spectacle.

“It’s a fire hazard.” Logan muttered with a frown.

They found Virgil waiting for them by the central fountain. He had manged to find a seat on the fountains edge but was wedged between two young couples who had clearly taken the romantic festival atmosphere to heart. The healer’s shoulders were up by his ears and his cloak was wrapped so tightly around himself it looked constricting. When he saw them he sprang to his feet so quickly he almost knocked one of the young ladies into the water.

“Took you two long enough.”

Roman and Logan glanced at each other.

“Logan got lost-”

“Roman kept wandering off.”

“-We brought you baked goods!”

Virgil took one of the two remaining pastries with minimal grumbling and led them out of the square. They took the north east road, a path that curved its wary upwards into the higher levels of the city. Here the buildings were all built of a blush-pink marble that sparkled in the evening twilight. The streets were wide, with neatly arranged flowerbeds and street lights which had the steady glow of Arkazeii glow lamps rather than the flicker of oil. There were certainly no traders spread out on blankets. Logan looked distinctly unimpressed.

“Was this inn you found an…economical choice?”

“It was a ‘the whole town’s rammed and this was the only place with a room left’ choice.” Virgil snarked “and don’t worry – its one room for all four of us with no breakfast included, if you were worried about getting too… bourgeoisie…or whatever."

Logan raised his hands for peace.

“I’m sure you did the best you could.”

“Well …we were lucky.” Virgil told him, and then glanced over at Roman, his lip twitching.

“Apparently they give discounts to performers.”

***

The inn was certainly a cut above their normal haunts. With brightly painted walls almost obscured by well pruned climbing plants, outdoor seating, and a wrought iron gate leading to spacious stables behind the building. Even the doors were of better quality then your typical village tavern – made of wood heavy enough to make a satisfying crash when Roman stormed in.

The room was crowded, but Patton really was hard to miss. Roman shoved his way through to the back table where the big man sat waiting. Leaving other customers cursing in his wake.

‘Hey kiddo!’ Patton greeted him with a wide smile “Did you-“

“Key.” Roman snarled.

Patron blinked and him, shock writ large on his face. “Sorry?”

“The key. To my room. Give it.” Roman snapped. “It is mine right? Since you seem happy to pimp me out in exchange for-“

“Hey!” That would be Virgil. Roman half thought he had left both men behind in his rage after Virgil’s little announcement, but the elf at least seemed to have kept up. He’d reached the table just in time to hear the start of Roman’s rant. “What the hell is your problem Princey?”

“My problem? Oh I’m sorry, I’M not the one signing other people up to sing for their supper without permission Virgil.”

“You like singing for your – we thought you’d want to!”

“Well it would have been nice to have a choice!”

“Virgil. Roman.” That was Logan, it had taken longer for the shorter man to force his way through the crowd but he wasted no time now in inserting himself into Romans business. “whatever this is… it’s not about putting on a show.”

He turned to the other two. Virgil scowling, Patton wide eyed.

“He had an…episode in the market.”

“Excuse me?” Roman shouted.

“Roman, whatever disturbed you, you practically ran away.”

“Well perhaps I had simple grown tired of looking at your face? Had you considered that?”

He turned his back to Logan, rounding on Patton again: “Now, give me the-“

Patton already had his hand out, wrought iron key resting loosely in his palm.

“We’re on the fourth floor.” he said calmly as Roman snatched it from him. “First door once you get up the stairs.” Roman spun on his heel only to find Virgil blocking his path.

“Move.” Roman hissed.

“What is wrong with you?” Roman narrowed his eyes. Virgil looked angry. Looked one second away from telling him to sit down, shut up, stop causing a fuss. He wondered if he could get past him without using his sword.

“I’ll bring you up some food in a bit,” Roman blinked glancing back at Patton, startled. The warrior still hadn’t moved from the table - admittedly no easy task in the cramped corner- and was looking at him calmly.

“I don’t want anything” Roman muttered, sullen.

“But you might later.” Patton smiled at him. Not knowing how to respond Roman turned back to Virgil. The elf glanced between the two, chewed on his bottom lip for a moment, before sighing and stepping to the side. Not fast enough to prevent Roman from knocking his shoulder with his own as he pushed past however.

It wasn’t as satisfying as he hoped.

At a guess, the room was normally meant for storage not guests. Two rickety looking beds had been shoved in, so close together they might as well have been one. There was one small table forced between the end of one bed and the wall, with a basin of water perched on top. Someone, presumably Patton, had organised their bags neatly at the end of the beds. Roman’s was at the far end, closest to the window. Then Patton, then Virgil with Logan closest to the door, next to the only built in shelf where a candle had been left for the night. Roman would be able to wake with the dawn, as he liked to do, and Logan would have light for the longest to stay up and read.

Romans lute was not on the floor with his pack. Instead he found in had been placed on the bed itself, propped up on his pillow, away from any potential harm.

Whatever righteous anger he had been able to hang on too as he stomped upstairs dropped out of him now like a stone from a cliff. Without it, the despair he had felt in the market came rushing back. He sank down right there by the door, bringing his knees up to his chest as he’d done in the forest. As he used to do in Julius’ room.

He almost wished Julius was here – at least he would tell him not to cry.

The through was so absurd he let out a weak snotty laugh and buried his head in his arms.

He needed to leave Steveange.

He didn’t want to leave them.

But they had planned to stay for a week at least, hopefully longer.

Convince them to leave early? Except he couldn’t explain why. Find them a job out of the city? How? When the coronation and accompanying celebrations were over it would be easy enough to find a traveling group in need of a little extra protection, but for now no one was leaving.

They’d been excited to come. Virgil want to try the city baths, famed for their heated pools and soothing water. Logan had been talking about the library for half the trip. Patton was just excited to explore the city itself, meet the people and try the food. He loved when they stopped in busier towns but it was a rarity.

There was no way Roman would be able to convince them to leave just because he wanted to.

Roman did what other people wanted. It was all he knew how to do.

And even if he had a convincing reason…well, they probably didn’t want him around anymore anyway.

He scrambled up, grabbed the first pillow he could reach and buried his face in it to muffle a scream of frustration which turned into more sobs.

He was so pathetic.

Since he’d left home, he’d kept his memories, kept Romulus, buried as deep as he could. But now it was like Romulus was just under his skin. Ready to jump out If he let himself slip. With all his anger and hurt and fear.

Romulus was a liability.

Romulus was a murder. Or would be. If Roman couldn’t think.

He stepped over to his pack, still hugging the pillow to him like a teddy bear, and started to review the contents. He didn’t need to take all of this with him, surely? Half of it wasn’t even his, their belongings having become more and more intertwined the longer they travelled.

The healing salve was rightfully Virgil’s, the soft shirt he wrapped himself in during cold nights was actually Patton’s, at least one of the notebooks belonged to Logan.

He opened the nearest book to check, but instead of Logan's neat lists his own sloppy scrawl stared back at him. Song lyrics and passing thoughts and, on the next page, an unfinished sketch. It was of Virgil, hand covering his mouth but eyes betraying his laughter. The other pages, he knew contained scribbles of all three of them. He flicked back and found his favourite, the page marked with a yellowed leaf he couldn’t remember picking up.

It showed all three in one sketch. Logan, sleeping and so looking years younger, head pillowed on Virgil’s thigh. Virgil was turned towards Patton, rolling his eyes as if to say ‘can you believe this?’ but making no move to actually shift scholar off him. Patton was laughing, he was the most well rendered of the three figures, you could almost see his shoulders shaking.

Roman looked at it for a moment. Then slowly replaced the book mark and closed it. This would have to come with him.

A knock at the door startled him so badly he dropped the book, which bounced under the bed.

“Kiddo? Can I come it?”

Fuck.

Patton. He had -he had been so, so unbelievably rude to Patton.

His first instinct, which was admittedly not a good one, was to jump out of the window.

Roman took a deep breath. Focusing on the mundane task of sorting items had cleared his head somewhat. He was still a little shaky but his eyes were dry. He knew what would be expected of him now - Romulus had spent most of his life apologising.

“Come in.” he croaked and stood, squaring his shoulders.

Patton entered alone, two bowls of something that smelled delicious cradled in his arms.

Roman ignored the sudden spike of hunger – the fruit tart seemed a long time ago now- and bowed from the waist. He kept his back ramrod straight and bent low enough that it quickly became uncomfortable. It was the kind of bow Romulus would only have given his father or elder brother.

“Patton, I owe you my most humble apology I-“

“Roman I am so sorry.”

“The way I spoke to you was the height of disrespect and unprin- ungentlemanly behaviour I – wait, what?”

He straightened up and looked at Patton, confused. “Why are you sorry?”

“Roman, I – wait hold on.” Patton handed him one of the bowls and turned to close the door. “Do you mind if we sit?” he asked and Roman nodded, smiling despite himself. Patton was the politest person he had ever met.

Once they were both seated, Patton’s bad leg stretched out in front of him, Patton looked at him seriously.

“Roman you were right downstairs. We should never have promised you’d perform without asking you first - no it's true!”

But Roman was already shaking his head. “Patton you were fine, you know I love singing! I was the one acting like, like some sort of beast I-“

“I know you love singing but that doesn’t mean we get to pick and choose when-“

“But I wanted to perform as much as possible whilst we were here- I’d told you that!”

“-especially after travelling all week. We were, er, presumptuous.”

Roman stared at him.

“Unlike this soup, which is pre – scrumptious.”

Patton beamed at him. Roman groaned.

“Anyway I’m sorry for letting you stew-“ he held up the bowl again waggling his eyebrows “- up here for so long, but we needed to make things right with the landlord.”

Roman, who had been starting to relax under the force of two puns in a row, tensed again. “What things?”

Patton smiled. “We paid the difference – you don’t have to perform! Uhh unless you want to of course, but it’s your choice.” He nodded decisively whilst Roman gaped.

“b-but isn’t it expensive?”

Patton just shrugged, “Well, the last job paid well didn’t it?”

“Not that well!”

“Aw c’mon kiddo, what’s the point of having money if we don’t spend it? Right?”

Not knowing what to say. Roman shoved a spoonful of stew into his mouth without tasting it. Guilt turning the meal to ash.

“Patton…how many days did you pay for?”

“The rest of the week! And there’s still enough to have some fun at the markets, don’t worry, we can all have a – hey!” Patton put his bowl down, shuffling closer to put one warm hand on Roman’s knee.” Roman, hey kiddo, buddy what’s wrong?”

Roman found, quite to his surprise, that he was trembling. He followed Patton's example and put the bowl carefully on the floor before digging the heels of his hands into his eyes. “I…can’t Pat. I can’t stay here. I have to go.”

“Go?” Patton looked at him with confusion clear in his big brown eyes, “But why kiddo? You don’t like the inn?”

Roman groaned shaking his head “not the inn. The city. I’m not – I can’t – if ‘m here it- “ he let out a whine of frustration, hating his curse heavy tongue.

Never tell anyone about our conversation.

“I just-“ My brother is coming and if I see him I-

“If – “ my brother is coming and he won’t be alone. There are people who know who I really am and I –

“Okay.”

Romans head snapped up.

Patton still had a frown on his face but when he looked at Roman his eyes were as serious as Roman had ever seen them. “If you can’t tell me the details it’s fine but-“ he lent forward, “Roman, are you safe here?”

Without breathing, Roman shook his head. No.

Patton nodded and squeezed his knee. “Well then of course we’re not staying.” Hesitantly, he lifted his arm and rested one large hand on the back of Romans neck. Forcing their eyes to meet. “Whatever it is – we will help you. You know that don’t you?”

Embarrassingly, Roman felt his eyes filling with tears.

“We’ll leave in the morning.” Patton told him. Patton stood up, taking Romans congealing stew and his own empty bowl and headed to the door. He paused, one hand on the door handle. “Everything’s going to be okay kiddo.” he smiled, “We love you.”

And he was gone.

For a long moment Roman sat frozen, staring at the closed door.

“Yeah.” He agreed, eventually. “Right.”

Except. They didn’t. Not really.

They loved Roman.

Roman had screamed and insulted them and instead of kicking him out of their group like they had every right to do, they had given up what little money they had just to make Roman feel better.

And Roman was a lie.

Roman was Romulus with a bad haircut. And Romulus was everything they weren’t’ – a stupid, pampered, prince with no power or pride.

Patton might be willing to upheaval their lives just on Roman's say so, But Logan and Virgil were more practically minded. They would want explanations. Might even demand them.

Never tell anyone about your curse. Remove yourself from anyone who might ask you about it and put as much distance between you as you can.

Romulus was a liability.

One they shouldn’t have to deal with.

He strapped his lute to his back and secured his dagger in a hidden pocket that Virgil had taught him how to sow. Everything else he left, including, after a moments hesitation, his sword. He had been training Logan to use it, on and off, and whilst the scholar was no solider he was improving. At the very least, it would be some source of protection until they could hire another swordhand for their travels.

The climbing plants he had noticed on the way in made getting down from the window much easier than he had originally anticipated. Dusting off his hands he skirted the building, taking care to avoid the large windows of the main hall, until he found the entrance to the the stables.

He wasn’t proud of it, but he had stolen before when he first left home. He would have to again now in order to put some distance between the city and himself.

It wasn’t his worst plan.

And it might even have worked, had they not already been waiting for him.

When Romulus was eleven, and had taken to following the young Marquis de Orenlla around like a love sick puppy. Even now, under the weak light of a covered lantern and with almost fifteen years distance from the memories, he still recognised him instantly.

“Good evening, your highness.” The Marquis smile was as dazzling as he remembered, although his eyes were colder.

He had no army with him, and no weapon that Roman could see. But then, why would he need one?

“Come with me.”

Roman went.

part 4

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #creativitwins #this chapter is just #roman having an extended panic and making piss poor decisions #but also having great friends #alas #sidespart writes #TS: Fall of Romulus

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doomstypewriter · 3 years

Text

Excuse me while I panic

New chapter, yay! Didn't I tell you I'd be faster?

Thanks for all of the lovely comments and interest, it really motivates me to write more.

Word count: 3041 | AO3 | <<Previous

Summary: Roman gets to work. Wooing Virgil will be a piece of cake!

Right?

CW: Swearing, anxiety, mild angst, maybe unsympathetic Janus (I don't really think so but it could somehow be interpreted as such because of Virgil and Roman talking about him, so I might as well give a warning). I don't think there's anything else, but, if you spot it, do tell.

Be yourself and let things develop naturally... that's just boring

Once he returned to the main living area, the noises of arguing and Logan’s screams could not be heard anymore. They were instead replaced by the clicking of spoons against teacups and mugs.

The moment the three noticed him they looked upwards at the same time. Patton, Logan and Janus were sitting at the table, drinking hot chocolate, coffee and tea respectively. The lights in the kitchen were on, illuminating them partially.

Logan nodded at him.

“How did it go?” he asked.

Meanwhile, Patton smiled and Janus stared at him inquisitively.

Roman went fully downstairs, hurrying to move a chair back. With his hands still on the backrest, he began to speak.

----

“Haha… I actually wanted to ask you…”

“Did something happen?” Virgil held his breath. “Is it about me?”

Roman could not stand the tension emanating from every pore of Virgil’s body. Thinking optimistically, he probably had no idea about his real motivations to come there, still, the thought of it eliciting such a reaction made Roman feel even more frozen in place.

“No!” he answered all too fast.

His body language went even stiffer with worry, to the point where he raised a hand to his mouth and began to nibble on the sides of the tip of his thumb.

“Then…”

“Everything is fine, Pierce the Nerves, I promise”.

“Okay… hmm what’s up with the rose?”

“It’s… uh…” Roman looked at it and began to felt ridiculous. “I just picked it up and it’s the same red as my sash!” he laughed as he placed it on the lapel of his suit.

“No comments. What did you want to ask me?”

----

Janus looked at him with a mix of horror and disbelief as Roman finished his recollection of the events.

“So I panicked and then I said that you had decided to help Patton bake something and now we need to make cookies this instant because Virgil will suspect something if we don’t!”

For a moment there was silence. Then, Janus ran his hands over his face.

“Roman, please take a seat already or put the chair back in place”, said Logan.

“Yeah, right” Roman sat down.

“Brilliant idea, Roman, there’s no way Virgil won’t buy that I’m making cookies and, of all things, invited him to try them. Why would you get me directly involved in it?”

Roman stood up, earning an exasperated eye roll from Logan.

“I drew a blank! I cannot come up with perfect stories on the spot while under pressure!”

“So you thought putting me in it would just magically fix how terrible you are at talking to your crush?”

“He’s not my--” Roman went deadly quiet, rethinking his life in a matter of microseconds. “Look, if I can trust you to do something is lie. So when Virgil comes down those stairs you need to help me fix this! You were the one who insisted I talk to him, so it’s your problem too”.

“Can I trust YOU not to mess up any of my--”

“Hey”.

“Aaaah!” Roman and Janus screamed in unison.

One sigh later, Virgil added:

“You invited me to have cookies”.

“Oh, yeah, well… about that…” Roman began saying. “Patton and Janus haven’t started--”

“Kiddo, we already got them ready while you went to call Virgil” Patton interrupted him. “They’re cooling in the kitchen” he pointed.

“If you had paid attention you would have noticed the bowls in the sink” Logan added without bothering to look at him.

“Roman, close your mouth, you’ll catch flies” Janus finished the series of comments directed at him.

----

Virgil’s chair moved back as he stood up.

“Well, uh…” he said. “Thanks for the cookies. Hmm…”

A frown appeared on Virgil’s face as he was leaving. His feet stopped all of a sudden and he turned around.

“Janus?” it sounded like saying the name itself pained him.

The side in question raised his head, looking openly confused. Or was it an act?

“Yeah?”

“Hmm… Roman told me you invited me. And that’s… em…” he bought time, wondering what to say. Whether to lie or not. “Suspicious. So, a word?”

Janus raised his eyebrows, not buying it, but he followed him nonetheless.

They left the room, both walking at a distance from each other. For a second, Roman thought he saw worry in Janus’ face.

“What the hell was that?” Roman asked no one in particular.

“He’s trying to be nice” Patton smiled. “I’m so proud of him!” his tone was ecstatic.

“I guess… hey, padre, how did you know I’d ask you for the cookies?”

“Patton anticipated a few outcomes from your confession attempt and decided cookies would serve as a suitable response for either” Logan replied matter-of-factly.

“Yes…” he grimaced apologetically. “I thought that if everything went well we could celebrate, and if it didn’t… well, we’d be there for you, so the cookies might cheer you up”.

----

A few days after the confession fiasco, Roman decided to try again and woo him a little before pouring his heart out.

He popped into the living room, only to find Virgil and Janus sitting six feet apart. One was listening to music and, presumably, checking out Tumblr, while the other read a thick book.

With the volume of the music, Virgil didn’t notice him, Janus on the other hand…

His face stopped being obscured by the wing of his hat as he looked up at him.

Janus shook his wrist, making Logan’s watch appear on it. The other side wouldn’t be happy about that, but if Janus had survived stealing his crofters, Roman figured he could get away with pretty much anything.

“Well, look at the time!” he said theatrically as he stared at the watch. “I need to take care of other things, pitty to miss out on your company”.

Virgil moved his headphone to the side, managing to listen to the last part of what Janus had said.

“At least he doesn’t make it awkward”.

“What?” Roman asked.

“Yeah, you’re still angry with each other, right? I can ignore him, but having the two of us in the same room with him would be like asking for an argument”.

One short stare later, Virgil spoke again, a bit unsure.

“Do you want me to move so you can sit here too?”

“No”

“Oh, okay”

“I mean, I didn’t come here to be on the couch, actually I came to see you”.

“Miss me that much?” he teased.

And it was too good of a bait to just let go without reply.

“Terribly, I’ve been swooning and mopping because I didn’t have someone blasting Paramore around me!” Roman answered draping a hand over his forehead.

“Truly tragic”.

“I know. Anyhow, I was wondering…”

Virgil raised one of his hands to stop him right there.

“If you want me to do something stupid and dangerous in the imagination with you, I’ll pass”.

“Afraid you won’t be able to keep up?”

“No, it’s more like I don’t want to have to drag your ass back here when you get hurt”.

“Hey, I’ll have you know I’m the best swordsman in there”.

“So is it like, empty then?”

Roman gasped.

“Tss. It seems like it is”.

“No it’s not!”

“Well, if you keep inviting me, I guess it isn’t, even if we are the only people in there”.

“Virgil, you have seen my servants”.

“Hmm… yeah” he looked to the ceiling playfully, then back at Roman,

“I don’t seem to remember about it”.

“Okay, well, I guess I won’t ask the royal artisans to frame your painting, since they don’t exist”.

“What painting? Are you also hallucinating art?”

“No. I was about to ask you if I could paint you!”

“Wha-- really? You want to paint ME?” Virgil pointed at himself as if to make it somehow clearer.

“If you’re willing”.

----

The whole painting idea had gone well. Still, Roman wasn’t able to get the right atmosphere to confess with Virgil constantly teasing them. To be honest, he ended up forgetting about it once they began to get caught up in the conversation.

He had tried other things, of course.

None had gone as planned.

Writing poems would just make Virgil uncomfortable or even correct him, because, apparently, listening to all of those lyrics from obscure indie bands had made him a better poet than him.

Then there was the whole incident with the ukelele.

Roman had been trying to play something to catch his attention, set the tone and just tell him, but the string snapped and hit him in the face. Now he had an ugly cut and some bruising on his cheek.

He felt stuck.

Worse than all of that, Janus kept lurking around Virgil. Pretending to be nice and reformed.

But never mind about everything else. He needed to keep trying.

Eventually, Roman would manage to get it right.

-----

Finally, he had a plan!

The last time Roman had gone to Virgil’s room to confess, he had panicked and let the effect of the room get to him. But, none of that could happen if he didn’t speak.

This would be perfect because Virgil would love it. Roman had recorded a playlist of their favourite songs into a vinyl record, just to make it a bit fancier. He’ll gift it to him and Virgil would understand.

Maybe he’d even ask him to dance to it!

Roman crossed the darkness of the entrance almost running.

This could work!

His mood deflated instantly when he emerged into the room.

Virgil was sitting on his bed, knees to his chest, hiding all of his upper body inside his hoodie. He left the vinyl on Virgil’s desk and walked up to the bed, making sure to be a bit noisy so Virgil wouldn’t be caught by surprise.

The other let a long breath out in some kind of acknowledgement.

Eventually, Roman sat next to him.

“What’s wrong?”

Virgil sighed and let his face come out of the cocoon of his hood.

“It’s not that something’s wrong per se. I…”

Without thinking, Roman placed his hand on top of Virgil’s. The contact made him feel like nothing bad could happen to Virgil as long as he held onto him.

Roman got the sudden realisation that he would be willing to protect him from anything. Which wasn’t too groundbreaking of a concept. He’d try to save pretty much everyone if given the chance, but that was his need to be the hero, to be “good”, whatever that eventually entailed. With Virgil, though… he just didn’t know what he’d do without him.

“Whatever it is, I’m here and I’ll make sure you’re okay” Roman promised.

Virgil chuckled. It stung a little.

“You can’t just say those things so seriously when I’m feeling bad, Princey, I never know how to react when you’re being so…”

“Annoying?” Roman tried to complete the sentence.

His head turned to the other side. He still didn’t let go of Virgil’s hand, but he could afford to, at least, not let him see how self-conscious he felt right now.

“Princey, look at me”.

“I’m not sure I want to, Virge”.

“Hey, I’m the one who’s feeling low. Don’t try to steal the spotlight, it’s kind of an asshole move…”

Hearing that only made him feel worse, now adding guilt to the mix.

“Especially since”, Virgil continued, “I was about to say you’re nice”.

“I’m sorry I reacted poorly” Roman finally managed to stare at him, “here you are, feeling like crap and I’m only thinking about myself. I can be very selfish sometimes. I apologise”.

Virgil frowned.

“Okay. Fuck off”.

“Did I--”

“No. Listen to me. Whatever you’re thinking I’m thinking right now is wrong. I know what you’re doing because I do it all the time. I’m not mad. And you’re not selfish. Not one bit. You’re self-centred, very much so, but not selfish”.

“Virge, I’m pretty sure those are the same thing”.

Virgil shook his head.

“You can be annoying when you make everything about yourself and try to be the centre of attention. But you never ignore people when they need you, even if that doesn’t benefit you. You’re willing to give up things you want just to do what you think is right. Hell, Princey, you let go of your pride just to be friends with me. How could anyone think you’re selfish when you’re so stupidly wonderful?”

“I--”

“Don’t get too smug about it” Virgil cut him.

It got quiet for a second. Roman savoured the moment and squeezed Virgil’s hand. His smile began to return to him a little bit.

“Thank you. It means a lot, you have no idea” Roman muttered.

Virgil visibly relaxed. He slumped a bit more, letting himself fall against Roman’s side. The dark hair tickled his collarbone, but Roman wouldn’t ever dream of complaining about it.

“Yeah I do” Virgil whispered, so quietly Roman could have imagined it.

Having Virgil’s head on his shoulder made sense. Like it was meant to be there all along.

“What were you sulking about?” Roman asked.

“Not sulking”.

“Sure thing, All the time low”.

He felt Virgil muffle a laugh against the shoulder pads of his suit.

The laugher died down soon after a long sigh.

“I’ve been thinking about doing something”.

Roman stayed quiet for once, leaving him room to breathe and let things out at his own pace.

“I… I am considering forgiving Janus”, Virgil paused, twisting his neck to see Roman’s expression. “Maybe be friends again if it comes to it”.

A sigh.

His thumb started to move in circles, caressing the back of Virgil’s hand. Roman swallowed.

“Isn’t that a good thing?” he asked tentatively.

“You’re not mad?”

“I don’t know. Should I be? It’s not like I’ve exactly forgotten about all of the bad blood between us. But… he makes Patton very happy and it seems like he’s trying to help, so I don’t know what to feel about it”.

“Roman, I know he hurt you”.

“Is that what you’re worried about?”

“In part. There’s more to it. But I can’t just go and bury the hatchet with him if that would hurt you again”.

A small part of Roman felt good knowing Virgil would keep on being angry with Janus if he wanted him to. In a way, it showed his willingness to stay by his side.

That’s why Roman couldn’t ask him that.

Besides, Janus had been helping him too. It wouldn’t be right for him either, as much as it stung to admit it.

“If that makes you happy, I will be happy too”.

“Yeah, but that’s not what I’m asking. I don’t want to know if you would ignore your issues with Janus for my sake”.

“I really don’t mind--”

“And I know that. But… fuck, Roman, you shouldn’t be constantly forced to put everyone first just to make things better for everybody else except you”.

That was… a lot to take in. Roman didn’t know very well what to respond. Eventually, Virgil must have interpreted his silence as him doing something wrong.

“You’re my friend. I… I care about you. I won’t do something you’re not okay with. You’re more important”.

“No need. It’s okay. Getting over my stuff with Janus is my own

problem. I also care about you, a lot. If you want to be friends with him I’ll support you, it has nothing to do with my problems. You won’t hurt me. I promise”.

“That’s good to hear. I mean, I’m still struggling with the decision and I don’t think I’ll be making up my mind anytime soon. But knowing that helps a lot”.

“Do you want to talk about it more?”

“Hmm. It’s… it’s so confusing. I thought nothing he did could rub off how angry I’ve been at him, make me want to trust him again. Before… well, no need to get into the specifics, but it made me feel very betrayed” his voice trembled a little. “The problem is, he didn’t exactly betray me, so I guess the doubts about whether or not things could go back to what they were, remained”.

Virgil swallowed, trying to compose himself.

“And it sucks because there’s a part of me that can’t tell if this is all part of a big scheme and he’s just trying so hard to be nice to me because he wants something, or because he actually cares. I’m scared of letting my guard down and have him ruin everything I’ve tried to achieve. What if I go back to how I used to be?”

“I won’t let that happen”.

“How can you be sure? How can we be sure of anything when it comes to him?”

“We can’t. But I have no doubts that, no matter what happens, we’ll figure it out. Even if it gets to the worst, you know me and I know you. Most importantly, I believe in you, Virge. I’m not going to tell you, of all people, that there’s nothing to be afraid of. But if you’re scared, know that you can trust me and you can trust who you’ve become. We’ll be fine”.

“Roman…”

For a second, it seemed like Virgil was going to cry, or worse, do something like hug him AND cry.

“To be fair, though”, Roman went back to his usual self. Both would welcome the respite after… well, big conversation to unpack. “I honestly don’t think Janus is planning anything. He’s even trying to get on my good side just to make you happy. I’m not the best side for him to manipulate anymore, not after everything, and he isn’t that stupid. So I’d say the bitch is being sincere. That being clear, it would still be a pleasure to punch him if you asked”.

Virgil shifted a bit.

“Ouch!” Roman shouted after Virgil elbowed him. “What did I do now?”

“You’re dumb”.

“So are you, emo, what’s your excuse?”

“I’m friends with you and I think it might be starting to affect me”.

“Well, it’s about time. I knew even you weren’t impervious to my dashing good looks”.

Oh. Perhaps he had let on too much. Roman tensed up the slightest bit.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever lets you sleep at night, Princey”.

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and-it-freezes-me · 3 years

Text

Little Red Lies - Chapter 3

{Previous} {Next}

Warnings for this chapter: travel sickness, discussion of blood and raw meat

[For the hundredth time]

Incredible Sulk 03:57

[What time are you getting into the airport today]

Incredible Sulk 03:57

[LA time or Manhatten time?]

Roman 03:58

[Why the everloving fuck would I want it in LA time]

Incredible Sulk 03:58

[Keep your hair on, V]

Roman 03:58

[Why are you awake at 4am]

Incredible Sulk 03:59

[Flight leaves at 11 here, so we should be landing around 4. Or 7pm, your time.]

Roman 03:59

[Why are *you* awake at 4am?]

Roman 03:59

[Im awake at 7am as you well know. Maybe try using that brain sometime, Princey. I know you have one]

Incredible Sulk 04:00

[Rude.]

Roman 04:01

[Go to sleep Ro]

Incredible Sulk 04:03

[Okay.]

Roman 04:04

---

[Hey Remus what’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?]

Roman 05:32

Stinky Garbage Man is typing…

[janjan says if i say them theyll divorce me]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:35

[so probs the 4th time i set my hair on fire]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:35

[the foam in fire xtinguishers does not taste good]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:36

---

[Are you alright? Slightly concerned that you’re asking your chaos brother for reassurance that you haven’t done something stupid.]

The Janus Beast 05:35

[I’m not asking for reassurance, everything is fine. Go to work, J.]

Roman 05:36

Roman always forgot how unnerving Janus’ uncanny intuition was. He was almost entirely certain that his brother-in-law could detect the lie in his text, but the responding message gave no indication that he was about to push him.

[Alright. Go to bed, Roman. It’s 05:36 for you.]

The Janus Beast 05:36

[Okay.]

Roman 05:37

---

[yru up @ 530]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:37

[u kno v will flip if u miss ur flight]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:37

[Can’t sleep.]

Roman 05:38

[Why are *you* awake at half eight? You never get up that early.]

Roman 05:38

[got a meeting w/ pub]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:38

[then v wants support @ his last fitting]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:38

[hes collecting u from th airport l8r u kno]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:39

[gonna b pissd if ur a nosho]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:39

[Good luck at your meeting.]

Roman 05:39

[I’m not going to miss my flight. I’ll be outside the airport for Virgil to pick us up half an hour after we land, just like I said yesterday.]

Roman 05:40

[Why did you set your hair on fire the 4th time?]

Roman 05:42

[wanted 2 c if flour in hair wld burn an interesting colour etc]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:42

Roman is typing…

[Isn’t flour really fucking flammable?]

Roman 05:42

[so fuckn flammable dude]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:42

[almost wound up in hospital]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:42

[had to replace 1/2 the kitchen]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:43

[You did it in the kitchen? Why?]

Roman 05:44

[thats where th flour is duh]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:44

[Obviously]

Roman 05:44

[u go 2 sleep?]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:49

[Did you regret setting your hair on fire 4 times?]

Roman 05:50

[7 times]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:51

[& no ofc not]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:51

[vry valuable exprience]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:51

[y]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:52

[u ok?]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:52

[I’m fine. Just wondering.]

Roman 05:53

[go 2 sleep bbbro]

Stinky Garbage Man 05:54

[Okay.]

Roman 05:57

---

[Patton, how do you tell whether you’re going to regret something later?]

Roman 06:01

[roman raphael prince, i know for a fact that you should be asleep right now.]

Patton-cake 06:03

[you’ll feel better when you’re not sleep deprived. if you miss your flight i’m not going to stop vee from murdering you]

Patton-cake 06:04

[Alright. See you later Pat.]

Roman 06:05

[sleep well]

Patton-cake 06:06

[don’t forget to set an alarm ro]

Patton-cake 06:10

[ro?]

Patton-cake 06:20

---

Missed call: Incredible Sulk - 07:01

Missed call: Incredible Sulk - 07:16

Missed call: Incredible Sulk - 07:31

Missed call: Patton-cake - 07:53

Missed call: Patton-cake - 08:01

---

[Roman answer your fucking phone I need to know youre awake]

Incredible Sulk 08:02

---

[ro please tell me you set an alarm, we’re worried you’ll miss your flight]

Patton-cate 08:04

---

Missed call: Patton-cake - 08:07

Missed call: Incredible Sulk - 08:33

Missed call: Incredible Sulk - 08:36

Missed call: Incredible Sulk - 08:39

Missed call: Stinky Garbage Man - 08:59

---

[vs getting super stressed asshole answer ur phone]

Stinky Garbage Man 09:12

---

[Roman if you miss your plane I will kill you]

Incredible Sulk 09:15

---

Missed call: Incredible Sulk - 09:18

---

“Roman!”

Roman groaned and pressed his face deeper into his pillow, trying to ignore the pounding in his head.

“Roman! Open up!”

“Five more minutes…” The pounding got louder, so he rolled over and pulled his pillow over his face instead. “Geez…”

“If you fail to get up right now we will miss our flight!” It sounded as though somebody was trying to break his door down.

“‘M not gonna miss my… Flight. Shit.”

Roman’s eyes flew open, and a second later his pillow was on the floor and he was across the room. When he jerked his door open, Logan’s fist was raised and although not a hair on his head had escaped his clinically neat ponytail, the harried creases on his forehead showed the most emotion Roman had seen on his face.

“You’re not even dressed!” The words were practically a shriek, and Roman fought the urge to clap his hands over his ears. “We should have left thirty-eight minutes ago! I’ve been trying to wake you for half an hour!”

Rubbing a hand over his face, Roman squinted over his shoulder and found that his alarm clock was in pieces on the floor, exactly where it had been for the last month. “What… What time is it?”

Logan brandished the thick-banded watch on his forearm. “Twenty-four minutes past nine! Get dressed, we need to go!” His other arm shot out, pushing Roman out of the way as he reached for the door handle and began pulling it closed. “Hurry up!”

Roman blinked dumbly at the inside of his bedroom door, then grabbed the shirt on the back of his desk chair and started yanking it over his head, scanning the room desperately. Mostly packed suitcase open at the foot of his bed, half full duffle-bag on top of the unread textbooks on his desk… He spotted his phone halfway through pulling his jeans on, and hopped across the room to scoop it up from where it had fallen between bed and bedside table, and turned it on.

The psychic assault of the missed calls and texts that filled the screen sent him reeling across the room. Grabbing a handful of (hopefully) clothes from his wardrobe, he typed out a frantic text with one hand and started throwing things into his suitcase as the pounding of Logan at his door started again.

Groupchat: Princes and Co.

[All fine getting on plane soon phone was out of charge see you later]

Roman 09:33

He didn’t have time to check for responses, kicking his suitcase shut and stuffing his laptop and toothbrush into the duffle on his desk. The red notebook was open in the middle of his floor - he considered leaving it, just to irritate Logan, but decided he was bigger than that and chucked it in as well. Then Roman was out of the door, still zipping his bag closed.

Logan started walking as soon as he saw him, shiny black shoes silent against the beige dorm carpets. “There is a taxi outside awaiting our presence. We should still make it to the airport in time to board, although we will likely have to run through security and check-in. Your fly’s down, by the way. All the hair on the left side of your head is flattened down.”

“Yeah, well…” Roman paused to zip up his jeans, then hurried to catch up with Logan. “We can’t all look perfect this early, Geek of Nature.”

One of Logan’s hands rose briefly to smooth his already pristine hair. “It is half past nine. That hardly counts as early, especially when our plane leaves in ninety minutes. Your suitcase is still open - you dropped a pair of orange boxers three-”

“I got them, I got them!” Roman stuffed the escaping underwear back into his suitcase and forced the zip closed, then buckled it neatly. “How come you’re not dragging luggage? Don’t strike me as the type to come unprepared.”

“My suitcase and hand luggage are already in the taxi, as was I, at eight forty-five on the dot. I trust you have our plane tickets.”

“Red notebook.” Roman patted the duffle bag under his arm, breathing a private sigh of relief that he had packed it after all. “I’m not stupid, you know.”

“Could have fooled me,” Logan muttered, and increased his pace ever so slightly. Scowling, Roman broke into a jog.

The elevator ride down to the main doors passed in stiff silence, and when they reached the taxi Logan slipped into the passenger seat, leaving Roman to fight with his bags alone. As he slipped into one of the back seats, he heard Logan address the woman behind the wheel. “I will pay you double if you get us to the airport before ten-thirty.”

Roman saw his life flash before his eyes as they darted through rows of traffic, gripping the edges of his seat and hitting the door or his suitcase every time they shot around a corner. Logan seemed entirely unruffled by their break-neck race through the city, and even managed to compliment their driver as she helped unload his bags from the trunk.

So he could turn on the charm when he wanted to.

Roman really hoped he would want to when they arrived home in Manhattan.

They all but sprinted through security as the last call for their flight rang out through the airport, Logan’s longer legs carrying him ahead until Roman almost lost him in the crowd. That was fine: the frosty look he had thrown Roman as they had spilled from the taxi had been more than enough to quell anything he might have wanted to say. He was panting by the time they reached their gate, only just able to shoot a smile at the flight attendant as he fished the red notebook from his bag and pushed it toward her, flipping open to the tickets wedged between the first pages.

Roman didn’t catch his breath until well after they had stowed their bags and taken their seats on the plane; he wasn’t lucky enough for Logan to be similarly unfit.

“You cannot do that!” In fact, Logan didn’t even seem out of breath as he hissed at Roman over the safety briefing. How was that fair?

Roman shrugged to indicate his confusion.

“You cannot just show people your notebook! That’s the easiest way to get us caught - I naturally assumed you were capable of logical thought, Roman.” Logan’s voice was a furious whisper. “You’re going to ruin all the planning I’ve put into this if you can’t utilize basic-”

“Oh, what do you care? You’re never going to have to see any of my family again!” Roman yanked at his seatbelt - it had gotten caught under the arm of his chair. “I’m the one they’ll ridicule endlessly if this blows up in our faces!”

“I’m the one giving up valuable revision time on a gamble that you seem determined to sabotage!” Logan, of course, not only had his seatbelt fastened perfectly but had also procured a neck pillow from somewhere. “If you’re that desperate not to pay me, you should have asked somebody else!”

Stung, Roman jerked his seatbelt more roughly, and it came free. “What kind of asshole do you think I am? I’m still going to pay you if we fuck up!”

“Good!”

“Fine!”

The frustrating thing about fighting with somebody during take-off was that there was nowhere for Roman to stomp off to sulk. Instead, he did the next best thing: grabbing the sleep mask tucked into the back of the seat in front of him, he ripped the packet open as loudly as he could and snapped the band over the back of his head.

“You’re really going back to sleep!” Logan’s voice rose in pitch and volume, and several people ahead of them turned around to stare. “You’ve been awake less than two hours! I’ve been awake since six!”

“Well, I didn’t get to sleep until six. Quit shrieking at me,” Roman grumbled. “It doesn’t affect you if I get a little more beauty sleep.”

“We need to go over our-”

“No, we don’t. Goodnight.” Pulling the mask down over his eyes, Roman leaned back in his seat and tried to relax.

When the plane levelled out a few minutes later and he heard people begin to move around a little more, he got up to get his headphones out of his duffle bag to block out Logan’s continuing angry whispers and found that he had left them behind in his rush to get out the door.

---

“I’m going to call us a taxi.” They were waiting at baggage claim, watching a single blue suitcase tied to a large Winnie-the-Pooh bear go slowly round and round the conveyor belt. “The taxis that wait outside airports carry with them a significantly higher chance of murder than one I could call.”

Pushing aside the Virgil-esque fact, Roman stuffed his phone back into his pocket. “Don’t bother, Doctor Doom-and-Gloom. I- Hey, we haven’t seen that bag before. Do you think our luggage is coming now?”

A purple bag that could only be described as a sack had joined the yellow bear and its suitcase. A couple of seconds later, a beige rucksack longer than Roman was tall joined the party.

“We have been waiting here for less than ten minutes. Our bags will be along soon.” The fluorescent lights of baggage claim didn’t do much for Logan’s complexion, Roman thought. He looked even paler than usual, almost corpse-like against his black hair and polo shirt. A fifteen-year-old Virgil would have asked him for makeup tips. “And are you expecting us to walk to your place? I would rather call a taxi.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Roman stood on tip-toe to see over the heads of the group of women in matching yellow sashes that had just cut in front of the pair of them. “My brother’s picking us up. He’s been waiting outside for the last half hour. Has this horrible phobia of being late to anything.”

“Why couldn’t I be pretending to date him?” The note of humour in Logan’s voice was barely detectable - but detectable it was, and Roman chuckled quietly.

“You’d have to fight his fiancé for him. I’ve heard Pat throws a mean right hook. Oh - that’s my bag.” Roman missed Logan’s response as he darted forward to grab his suitcase. A few seconds later, he saw Logan’s as well; when he had fought his way out of the sudden crowd converging on the conveyor belt he handed it to his companion, who nodded his thanks.

As Logan leaned down to check his possessions were still secure, Roman felt his phone buzz against his thigh. He pulled it out to glance briefly at it. “Virgil’s telling us to hurry up, he can’t stay where he is much longer.” Another buzz. “Oh, nice. He’s in one of the bus bays, come on.”

[Waiting in a bus bay Needed the space for your massive ego /j]

Incredible Sulk 19:42

“Virgil, older brother, engaged to Patton Hart, twenty-four, baker, birthday January third, hates being late, worries like ‘a dog with new slippers’. Am I missing anything?”

When Roman glanced over his shoulder, he saw that Logan was holding a small stack of white card, decorated with his cramped scrawl. “Are those - Did you make flashcards for my family?”

“Naturally.” The stack of cards disappeared into a pocket of Logan’s dress pants, and he lengthened his stride until Roman was hurrying to keep up with him again. “Come on. I want to make a good impression.”

“And I want to get out of the airport, half drown myself in the shower, dump my bags, and get some sleep. Quit rushing me more.”

“You slept practically the entire flight here. How are you still thinking about going back to bed?”

“Looking this good doesn’t happen naturally, you know!” Roman released his grip on his duffle long enough to smooth a hand through the reddish-brown tufts that he now realised were sticking up all over one side of his head, and completely flat on the other. “I need at least nine hours of beauty sleep a night.”

“Hmm.” The noncommittal grunt was a far cry from the teasing flirtations that Remy would have responded with, but Roman almost preferred it. Not everything had to be turned into a long, semi-aggressive flirting competition when he was already tired and clearly not in top form. He was sure he would go back to finding Logan’s taciturnity irritating very quickly; just then it was a blessing. “Which car are we looking for?”

“In the bus bays. It should be-”

“INCOMIIIIIING!”

It was an instinctive reaction to drop his bags, arms shooting out to brace himself against the blurred shape hurtling toward him. There was a flash of neon green, an impact that made Roman take two steps backward to keep his balance, and then he was staring into his own mismatched eyes and a crooked grin. Aside from the sleazy moustache and the eyebrow ring, Roman could have been looking in a mirror: he and his brother shared the same face shape, the same gap between their front teeth - although Remus’ was somewhat emphasized by the fact that he had refused to wear his retainer; they had the same auburn hair, though Remus’ was a little longer, significantly messier, and had a green streak dyed into the front. It looked as though a small flock of pigeons had been mating in it.

“You’re home! You look like shit!” There was unmissable delight in Remus’ yell.

“I’m going to drop you!”

“You look like V’s vampire barbie!”

“You weigh the same as mom’s old truck!”

“You sound like you’ve been gargling crushed glass!”

“You smell like you’ve been sleeping in a coffin!”

“A coffin?”

“With a corpse!”

“Corpse breath!”

That was when Roman’s arms gave out and he dropped his elder brother in an untidy mess on the floor.

“Fuck! My assbone!”

“I did warn you!” Roman didn’t think he’d smiled so widely in months as he leaned down to offer Remus a hand up. “You can’t just jump at people, dickhead.”

“You caught me, didn’t you? I knew you would.”

There was something sticky on one of Remus’ fingerless gloves that Roman really wished he hadn’t touched. He wiped his fingers on his leg. “Next time I won’t catch you, just see how you like it.”

“We’ll both end up on the floor if that happens, you know.”

“Maybe you’ll learn after the first dozen times.” Roman nudged Remus’ shoulder playfully, and was rewarded with an unfairly sharp elbow to the ribs as the pair of them turned toward Logan, who was standing beside an unfazed Virgil and watching them with something that toed the line between concern and confusion.

“Maybe not.” Remus considered Logan for a moment, then elbowed Roman once more. “I can’t believe I’ve been here for over a minute and you haven’t introduced me to your squeeze, dude. Not cool.”

“Right! Yes, Remus, Virgil - this is my boyfriend, Logan. Logan - Remus, Virgil. My brothers. I showed you pictures.” Roman waved a hand extravagantly in the direction of each, accidentally-on-purpose catching Remus across the chin. Remus snapped at his fingers.

Logan’s eyebrows raised ever so slightly at the exchange, but he took a smart step forward and offered Roman’s doppelganger his hand. “Roman has not told me nearly enough about you, Remus. I was not expecting you to look so similar.”

As Roman turned to hug Virgil hello and compliment his dark purple nails, he kept half an ear on the conversation behind him.

“Everyone says that! We could be womb-mates if I hadn’t popped out first! How tall are you, Bro-gan? Ro’s told us fuck-all about you, either!” There was the sound of metal studs in Remus’ sleeves clinking against one another: clearly he was giving Logan a far more enthusiastic handshake than the other student would have expected.

“I am six foot three, and I can see that nicknames run in the family. How tall are you, what is on your glove, and may I have my hand back now?”

“Five nine, maple syrup snail-slime and sugar-water, yes. You’re taller than my partner, they’re gonna be soooooooo pissed Ro managed to get a taller boyfriend too, I can’t wait to introduce you. Jan’s gonna turn inside out they’ll be so mad. How long have you two been dancing the tango?”

“I… Regret to say that we have never danced the tango?”

“It’s a metaphor, dude! Do you usually miss those? Oh, it’s going to be so much fun having you around! Roman says you study medicine, right? Have you ever dissected something? Do you know where organs are? I really really need a liver and I found a dead cat the other day, are you busy later?”

Roman closed his eyes in exasperation. “He has Janus to dissect things! What’s the point of marrying a pathologist if he’s going to outsource his hobbies?”

His complaint was met with a faint chuckle. “You know he’s doing it on purpose, right?”

“I knoooooow,” Roman moaned, bending to pick up his duffle and the handle to his suitcase, then noticing that Virgil had Logan’s navy blue satchel looped over his shoulder. “Hey, how come you offered to carry his bag and not mine? I’m your brother.”

Virgil smirked and started walking, grabbing Remus by the back of his collar as they passed him. “He didn’t leave us out of the loop for months and then refuse to give his new boyfriend’s name until a week before my wedding. You’re a big boy. You can carry your own bags.”

Grumbling under his breath, Roman followed his brothers back toward the car; Logan fell into step beside him a few moments later. The taller man turned his head toward Roman and spoke under his breath, clearly keeping one eye on the pair in front of them. “You said, verbatim, ‘Remus is quirky.’ You did not tell me he would ask me to dissect a cat, or whether I’d be open to discussing the greatest stretching force that could be put on various parts of the body.”

“He’s just…” Roman sighed and switched his dufflebag to his other hand. “He’s protective. Family’s important to me - to us - and we’ve been dating almost a year - he’s making sure you know what you’re getting into. I’m sorry. Just ignore him, okay?”

“Virgil seems... Nice.” Logan paused briefly. “He said he was glad that the engine of the plane had remained in one piece, and that we should get back to your mother’s house without the car bursting into flames.”

“Also trying to unnerve you. Really, Logan, don’t worry about them. They’re usually a lot less… disturbing. Let me get your bag.” He had only made the offer because when they reached Virgil’s battered, dark purple Ford, its owner was leaning against its side, expectant eyes on Roman, boot open.

Logan glanced at the car. His adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, then nodded. “Thank you.”

Shrugging, Roman gestured briefly at one of the doors before taking the handle of Logan’s suitcase from him. Virgil nodded approvingly and slid into the driver’s seat as Roman struggled to force the two large bags into the back of the car. By the time he managed to slam it closed and was able to climb into the backseat beside Logan - Remus had, of course, called shotgun with even more gruesome detail than was his usual - the engine was running and a phone was already hooked up to the dashboard. Judging by the completely uncracked screen and the dark blue case, it was Logan’s, and when he squinted at the screen Roman saw that the ‘Casual Hangout’ playlist he had made yesterday afternoon had been pulled up.

Would Virgil and Remus have been like this with any boyfriend he had brought home? It seemed as though they were deliberately trying to catch him or Logan in their lie.

Did they already know?

No, they couldn’t.

They had been careful - mostly at Logan’s near anal meticulousness, something Roman was suddenly feeling more than thankful for. If they had gone for the half-assed plan he had devised, he was almost certain that they would have been found out already, and-

“-man?”

“Dude, did insects lay eggs in your ears or something?”

“Huh?” Roman blinked. Remus had turned around in his seat to stare at him, his eyes wide enough that he was certain they would fall out of his head if Virgil had to brake suddenly. Virgil glanced at him in the rear-view mirror, then looked back at the road ahead. “What?”

“We were saying how mom’s gonna go crazy when you move out.” Remus twisted around even further so he could poke Roman’s arm. Roman batted his hand away. “She’s delighted you and Logan are staying.”

“I’ve been staying with her for the last few days - Pat wants to make a whole thing out of moving in together after the wedding - and she’s been all over me.” Virgil met his gaze in the mirror again, rolled his eyes, then indicated. “I cannot wait until I’m no longer her main focus.”

“I know you’re trying to make this about the obscene amounts of paella and chocolate sauce she’s going to feed us, but I’m too distracted by how adorable it is that you and Pat are moving in twice.” Roman folded one leg over the other and smirked as Virgil flicked him off - then found himself being crushed against his door as his brother took a corner rather faster than he had been expecting. “Geez, dude, where’s the fire? Slow down a little. Unless you want me covered in bruises for your wedding.”

Logan didn’t seem to have been bothered by the sharp turn. He was still straight-backed, pale, one hand gripping the grab handle above his door, eyes closed. Maybe he was tired.

“I had assumed you’d be wearing a suit, Ro. Nobody will be able to see the bruises.” Virgil paused to glance over his shoulder before moving into the next lane.

“Which means you two -” Remus, who had a mark on his neck where his seatbelt had dug in but was still facing him, pointed at Roman and Logan and smirked. “- have plenty of opportunity to get dirty without worrying about ruining V’s big day!”

“Fuck off, Re.” Remus stuck out his tongue, piercing flashing in the passing streetlights, and Roman returned the gesture.

Virgil groaned, clearly regretting pausing long enough to allow his older brother to interject. “That being said, if you are planning on wearing something other than a suit, I’ll need to know colour and magnitude soon. No, I’ll need to know by fucking yesterday - it’ll affect the seating plan in reception.”

"Your reception plan changes based on my wardrobe? I'm flattered, Virge - you know it's your wedding, right? Not mine?"

"I sure hope it's my wedding. Do you know the amount of favours you'd need to trade for me to do your cake for free?"

Roman chuckled and turned his head to look out the window, watching the cramped shops and houses pass by. "I know I'd be in debt til my dying day."

"Longer than that - I'm sure Doctor Logan-stein would be able to find away to keep you working long enough to pay him back. Oh, this song sucks ass, Roman, what were you thinking?" Remus finally turned back around and started prodding at Logan's phone. "I cannot believe you've stuck around despite my brother's abysmal taste in music, Lo. Can I call you Lo? I'm calling you Lo."

Logan ignored Remus.

Roman smirked and turned back to their driver. "You sure you don't want someone with a longer attention span as your best man? I'll still do it if you ask nicely… I know, I'll trade you - you make my eventual wedding cake, and I'll rescue you from having a troll give the speeches at your wedding."

"Quit trying to steal my job!" The music cut off suddenly, a split second before something hard thudded against Roman's chest. He winced.

"Did you just throw Logan's phone at me? Virgil, are you absolutely certain you don't want someone slightly less violent for- stop, Re, stop, I'm joking!" Roman raised his hands to protect his face from the sudden onslaught of pens, grinning. It was really, really good to be home.

“You better put those back in the glovebox before you leave my car, or I really will consider making a last minute change to the wedding arrangements.”

“No, you wouldn’t. A major change this close to the date would break the grey goo up here.”

“Don’t flick my ear, I’ll crash the car.” There had indeed been a slight swerve to Virgil’s otherwise straight driving; Roman hadn’t looked up from where he had been collecting the various biros Remus had attacked him with, but had assumed that the cause of the wobble could be traced directly back to his eldest brother.

“Promise?”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Wrong! I’m bored and ravenous. I really think -”

“Feet off the dashboard.”

“- I could eat a whole herd of horses now.” Remus spoke straight over Virgil’s reprimand. Roman hadn’t expected anything else, and he doubted Virgil had either - it was an automatic reflex now. “Wouldn’t even have to cook them. Just chomp down, I could pick the hair out of my teeth later - they’d be warm if I got to them quickly enough, and you can eat horse meat raw, you know. They serve it with soy sauce in Japan - they call it sakuraniku, it literally means ‘cherry blossom meat’, because of the pale pink colour. And the blood has a ton of iron and stuff, should be safe in small quantities - but I am curious about how bad drinking a gallon of the stuff could be. Does it taste like cow’s blood? Is it closer to goat? Not that I’ve tried goat, but you get the picture.”

Roman took a second to digest this disturbing piece of information, then brushed passed it and hoped that Logan wasn’t too disturbed by the idea. “Didn’t you eat lunch?”

“Sure, but that was hours ago! Oh, thanks.” Taking the small handful of pens from Roman, Remus stuffed them back into the glove box before turning back around to face him. “Hey, Ro-ro-rotten-egg, guess what mom’s making for dinner?”

Their mother had never cooked often, usually being too busy with work and taking care of three kids to have the time, but the special occasions that she did more than made up for the sandwiches and ready-meals they had usually eaten.

“I don’t-”

“Meatballs!”

“You didn’t give him a chance to guess, idiot.”

“From scratch?” Roman’s cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so much.

“You bet! She’s doing them properly, too, with the paprika and the egg and the beef! I’m going to drown mine in sauce until I can barely see them anymore so it soaks all the way through, and-”

“Virgil. Would you - stop the car. Please.”

Roman’s gaze snapped sideways at the unusually broken sentences to see that Logan had, if anything, gone even paler than before. A sheen of sweat was visible on his forehead.

Despite how quiet the words had been, Virgil must have picked up on the urgency in them, because they were stopped within a handful of seconds; Logan was unbuckled and out of the car so quickly that his seat belt snapped back toward Roman, the metal part narrowly missing his face.

Roman blinked at the empty seat beside him for a moment, then got out of the car himself.

Logan was facing away from him, shoulders hunched and palms braced against the rough brickwork of Staker’s Costume Supplies. Virgil had stopped right by a street lamp, and it was casting a sickly yellow puddle over the pavement, the bins spilling out of the alleyway just to their left, Virgil's car, and Roman and Logan.

"Hey. You good?" The answer was obviously no: Logan's shoulders were rising and falling in an unnaturally controlled motion, and he still looked pale and clammy. The yellow lighting was making his dark hair look nauseatingly greasy. Roman wrinkled his nose at the smell rising from a split binbag and stepped closer. "Can I touch you?"

Logan's shrug was accompanied by the sound of two slamming car doors, and as Roman rested a hand on his shoulder Virgil joined them, Remus only a step behind.

“Logan, bud, are you alright?” Virgil wrapped his cardigan more tightly around himself - it wasn’t a warm night by any means. “Was I driving too fast?”

“Are you gonna puke?”

Roman loved Remus, he really did, but sometimes he very much wanted to lock his mouth closed and throw away the key.

Taking another deep breath, Logan straightened up. He shook his head jerkily, skin somewhere between ice white and glass green. “I am not going to vomit. I merely-” He ducked suddenly.

It turned out Logan wasn’t right about everything.

Although it wasn’t strictly necessary - Logan’s tight ponytail was very neat - Roman moved to hold the taller man’s hair out of his face as he heaved. His other hand moved in aimless circles into the space between Logan’s shoulder blades.

Virgil winced and looked away until the spattering sound stopped and Logan pushed himself back into a more vertical position, one hand still bracing himself against the wall. He patted the pockets of his pants for a moment, then wiped his mouth on the back of his other hand.

There was silence for a moment, Roman still awkwardly rubbing his companion’s back.

“I- I apologise. I did not-”

“Lo, you don’t have to-”

“Logan, you really don’t have to apologise for getting carsick, it’s not like you did it on-”

“There’s not very much here. Have you eaten today?”

Virgil and Roman both turned to scowl at Remus, who was inspecting the small puddle of puke at their feet. It was a miracle that none of it had splattered onto their shoes, really. He gave the puddle one last, critical look before straightening up again.

“It’s mostly bile, actually. Which can be very valuable in some communities, but I doubt that was quite what you were going for.”

Logan wiped his mouth again. When Roman looked back at him, he found that Logan was staring at his feet. “I... Air travel has a negative effect on me.”

“You didn’t tell me that.” There was no pretense in the concerned hurt in Roman’s voice. His hand came to rest on Logan’s shoulder, then dropped awkwardly to his side when the other’s eyes flicked toward it. “I could have… Held your hair, or something.”

“You were asleep.”

Roman didn’t think he knew Logan well enough to read him, but there was no mistaking the unsaid words that followed: I don’t need your help.

Well, that was what he heard, anyway. Logan probably would have phrased it rather more robotically. Hopefully, neither Virgil nor Remus had noticed anything at all.

None of them said much as Virgil guided them a few steps away from the costume shop and Remus pulled a water bottle from the car to sluice down the pavement, and Logan gradually seemed to regain enough strength that he didn’t need to lean on the wall. He still looked concerningly pale, the rather ugly lighting giving him the pallor of a corpse, but at least the green tint had faded from his cheeks.

By the time Virgil spoke up, maybe fifteen minutes later, Roman was shivering and his teeth were chattering so hard he was certain they were about to shatter. Remus had vanished into the alley between Staker’s and the sofa shop on the other side. “Are you feeling good enough to get going again? It’ll probably only be another ten minutes or so, and I’ll open the windows for you.”

Taking a slow breath, this one far more natural than the deep inhalations from earlier, Logan nodded. “I will be able to manage that.” He didn’t move back toward the car until Virgil had walked past him to the mouth of the alley.

“Remus! If you’re not in the car in thirty seconds we’re leaving without you!” There was a curse and the sound of shuffling. “And you’re not bringing any garbage into my car.”

Another curse, and then a complaint that Remus ignored. Roman smiled again - even despite the gooseflesh turning his arms into a mountain range and the gradually freezing bits of puke that Remus had been unable to wash away, there was nowhere he would rather be than here with his brothers again.

Except for maybe at home with his brothers. And some dinner. Having slept in and then slept through lunch, all he had eaten today had been a sandwich he’d grabbed before heading to baggage collection, and it was doing little to fill him up.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” He had dropped his voice a little, and his hand rose again to hover uncertainly by Logan’s shoulder as the pair of them returned to the car.

“Your brothers cannot hear us. There is no need to act concerned now.” Logan’s words were nearly drowned out by the argument Virgil and Remus were having, but they still met Roman’s ears as he slipped into the car.

“What?”

“I said,” Logan climbed into his seat, closed his eyes, then pulled the door shut behind him and moved to buckle in. “You do not have to pretend to care whilst there is nobody to see.”

“I - what?”

Now Logan looked slightly put out. He snapped his seatbelt into place. “Do you really need that translated for you? How about-”

“Logan, of course I care!” Roman grabbed for his own seatbelt, but it took several tries to slide the buckle into place because he was staring at his… Well, maybe friend was the wrong word. Logan was sitting bolt upright again, silhouetted by the pale light outside. “You just threw up on my shoes!”

“I missed your shoes.” The temperature in the car seemed to drop past that of the street outside at Logan’s tone.

“That isn’t - I don’t care about my shoes, Logan!” Roman backpedalled frantically. “I’m worried about you!”

The corners of Logan’s mouth twitched ever so slightly. “You really are a good actor.”

And that was when Remus threw himself into the passenger seat, cutting off any chance Roman had of coming up with a response. It looked as though Remus had won his fight with Virgil, because he was clutching what looked like a bronze cast of the Statue of Liberty, its head replaced with that of a taxidermied goat. The whole thing seemed to be covered in some sort of slime; Remus was very careful not to allow it or his hands to touch any part of Virgil’s car.

“Seatbelt.” Virgil slid into his seat and turned the key in the ignition, then lowered all of the windows.

“You said not to touch your baby,” Remus singsonged.

“Go fuck yourself.” Leaning over, Virgil did Remus’ seatbelt for him. Then he put the car into gear and pulled out.

---

Virgil point blank refused to allow Logan to carry his bags inside when they got home. Despite the student’s arguments that he was perfectly capable of carrying his own luggage from a car to a house, all three of them could see that he had lost all the colour he had regained in their brief stop, and the argument didn’t take long.

“I’ll take these upstairs for you. Roman’s gonna introduce you to mom, and you can decide what you wanna do after that.” Virgil pulled Logan’s suitcase from the trunk and started walking, leaving Roman to brave the uncomfortable silence between him and the guy he was supposedly dating and who apparently liked him less than he had thought.

Remus had disappeared the moment the car stopped, presumably to wash both his hands and his prize of the gunk accumulated from nobody-knew-how-long in the trash.

Logan’s knuckles were white around the strap of his satchel as the pair of them walked up the porch steps, breath misting in the evening air. Roman wanted to say something to reassure him; knowing how Logan would take it, he stayed quiet until the front door had closed behind them. Warmth wrapped around him like a hug, accompanied by the smell of frying herbs and melting cheese.

“Mom?”

“Roman!” There was the sound of footsteps from the kitchen, and then Roman’s mother rounded the corner, beaming.

Marta Prince was shorter than all of her sons, but that didn’t stop her from hugging Roman so enthusiastically that his feet left the floor. “You’ve been growing, pequeño, I told you to stop that! You’re going to leave me in the dust at this rate!” When she finally put him down, Roman rubbed at his ribs - years of working in the shop had left her muscular and her hugs only seemed to grow more crushing the longer he went without them.

“It’s only been a few months! Besides, Vee’s only an inch taller than you - we’re not all going to tower over you. Unless you’ve started shrinking already?” He held a hand over her curls, pretending to measure her against the wall, and was startled to see threads of white mixed with the once-scarlet strands. When had that happened? “Nope, you’re just as tall as ever. Dinner smells awesome, mom, I’m famished!”

“Well, you’re not getting any until you introduce me to your new boyfriend!” She batted his hand away, turning toward the door - no, turning toward Logan. Roman winced. In the space of a few seconds, he had managed to forget that he had brought him home with him. “Hello, dear. I’m Marta, I’m so glad to meet you! Roman’s told us almost nothing about you - you’re a tall one, aren’t you? I love your hair, how long have you been growing it?”

Logan just about had enough time to blink before he was being swept into a tight hug, then released and pulled down so he was stooping, Marta’s hands on his shoulders as she studied his face.

“You’re looking peaky. Rough journey? Roman used to get so sick on long car rides! When he was four he hurled all over Virgil - he had really long hair then, it took three hours to wash it all out! I’m still not sure if he ever forgave you for that, did he, love?”

“Mom, c’mon…”

“Now that you mention it, I didn’t, did I?” Roman glanced up: Virgil was leaning over the side of the banister, clearly having dropped Logan’s suitcase already. “Mom, come on, give the guy some space. Did you see where Remus went?”

Releasing Logan, Marta gestured toward the downstairs bathroom at the end of the hall. "He's washing up. Virgil, will you lay the table? Roman, take your things upstairs - I'll not have you cluttering up my hallway. Logan, dear, can I get you a drink? I hope you like meatballs - it's a family recipe we've been doing for years. This way…"

"Um. Actually." Were those the first words he'd spoken since Virgil had won the right to carry his stuff in from the car? Roman frowned and peered at Logan again, suddenly seeing the way his shoulders, while not slumped by normal standards, were far from their usual stiff squareness. Exhaustion was written over every part of Logan's usually perfect posture; a few strands of hair had even left his ponytail, probably from where Roman had tried to hold it out of the way. Something cold and squirmy and very much like guilt formed in Roman's stomach. How had he failed to notice how tired Logan was?

"Unless you're vegetarian! Roman, you should have told me - don't worry, I can-"

"I’m not. Vegetarian, that is. I’m just…” Logan inhaled slowly. A wobbly smile that looked as though it was about to collapse worked its way onto his face. “I’m really, really tired. Flying takes a lot out of me. Thank you so much for making dinner, Mrs. Prince, but I would really appreciate the opportunity to wash up and get some rest.”

He really did look as though he were about to cry. Roman could see it; his mother could obviously see it. She clucked sympathetically. “Of course. We just want you to be comfortable here, alright? If you get hungry in the night, help yourself to anything in the fridge. And Logan, please - it’s Marta.” Logan nodded, and she turned to Roman as Virgil squeezed past the three of them - there really wasn’t enough room in the hallway for a gathering. “Ro, your room’s all ready. Show him the bathroom and stuff, we’ll have everything plated by the time you get down. Chop chop!”

“I - yeah.” Roman kissed her cheek and she pushed his shoulder gently in the direction of the staircase before vanishing back into the kitchen, leaving Roman with a sinking feeling in his gut. “Logan, uh… This way.” He gestured, then grabbed his suitcase. Fighting to get it up the narrow staircase was hugely preferable to dwelling on the information that had just occurred to him. “I’ll give you the abbreviated tour.”

A nod.

There were four doors on the upstairs landing, and a ladder leaning against one wall. Roman pointed at that first. “Remus used to sleep in the attic. It’s all storage space now, don’t worry - he’ll be going home after dinner. Lives with his partner in an apartment closer to the city centre.” There was a broken rung at the bottom of the ladder, the once-white splintery edges now the same dull brown as the rest of the thing. Roman took a breath, then pointed at a door covered in black and purple checks. It didn’t fit with the rest of the ocean-blue theme of the upstairs hallway, but they hadn’t repainted it after Virgil moved out. “Vee’s room. Well, it’s technically the guest room now, but given that Virgil’s here for a few days, he’s got it back. You wouldn’t like the decor in there anyway!”

A frown creased Logan’s forehead. “Roman…”

“That’s mom’s room!” Roman pointed quickly at the door at the far end of the hallway, facing the front of the house, then at the door halfway along the wall. “And that’s the bathroom! Shower, bathtub, sink, toilet, medicine cabinet, the works! Try not to use all the hot water, especially in the mornings - if Virgil hasn’t changed his habits, which I doubt, he likes routine, that’s when he showers, and he’s super grumpy if he has to have cold showers, you really don’t want to see that!”

“Roman, if Virgil is using the guest room-”

“And this,” Roman spoke over the growing suspicion in Logan’s voice, something between panic and hilarity rising up his throat. “This is my room!” He crossed to the door nearest them, one decorated with crowns, shields, and theatre masks in hand-stencilled gold paint, and threw it open. “Great view of the driveway, loads of space, amazing decor if I do say so myself, and-”

“Only one bed.”

Roman had a feeling that Logan was keeping his voice deliberately emotionless - or maybe he was still feeling too bad to be properly angry.

"Um, yeah, but - it's a double! And it's got so many pillows, it's so comfortable!" Logan's expression didn't change, and Roman shifted uncomfortably. "Look, Logan, I… I'm really sorry. It didn't even occur to me until, like, right now, two minutes ago, I would have told you if you'd have remembered. I totally get it if you're mad, you can leave if you like, I can drive you back to the airport or whatever, or - or if you want to stay, I'll sleep on the floor - or I'm sure Virgil wouldn't mind swapping, you could have the guest room, we used to share all the time when we were younger, they shouldn't have just assumed we'd be - y'know - I should have thought of it. I'm sorry."

Logan’s suitcase had been put neatly at the foot of the bed, the navy blue standing out against the red carpet and crimson sheets like the ugly duckling in the children’s story. Its owner was silent as he studied the room for another few moments; then he made a resigned noise in the back of his throat, crossed the room, and picked up the cylindrical cushion that was slightly too long for the armchair Roman had forced it into.

“What are you doing?”

Logan put it on the bed, creating a soft wall right down the middle that started just below the pillows and ended around where Roman’s knees would go, then sat on one side. “I see no reason to disturb your brother, and sleeping on the floor for an extended period of time will have a detrimental effect on your spine and posture.” He pointed at the side of the bed he was sat on. “I will sleep here.” He pointed at the other side. “You will sleep there.” He pointed at the cushion. “Cross this line, and I go back to California.”

“You know, I really don’t mind sleeping on the floor, there’s no need for-”

“I’m just trying to make this as painless as possible, both in the literal terms of our own comfort, and in the metaphorical terms of telling a simple lie to your family. It does not make logical sense for you to sleep on the floor.” He even sounded exhausted, as though he were about to fall asleep halfway through his explanation.

“It makes sense because I don’t think you’re really comfortable with it!” Logan glanced up at the shrill note in Roman’s voice, and he glanced quickly over his shoulder to make sure nobody had heard before dropping to a quieter tone. “You’re doing a huge thing for me, and I want you to at least feel comfortable while you’re here - I’m sleeping on the floor.”

“Fine.” Logan rubbed his hands slowly over his face. Several more strands of hair worked their way loose. Standing, he crossed to his suitcase and removed the travel padlock on the zip. “I’m too tired to argue. I’m going to take a shower - I’ll probably be asleep by the time you come up.”

“I’ll be quiet,” Roman promised, and Logan nodded in response. “Towels are on the rack in the bathroom. They should be fresh, but you can grab one out of the cupboard next to it if you prefer.”

“Thank you.” The words were stiff and flat.

Roman hovered in the doorway a moment longer, then went back downstairs, wondering how Logan had managed to make him feel like the bad guy for offering to sleep somewhere else.

When he returned to his room hours later, having eaten pasta and cheese-stuffed meatballs until he was stuffed (trying very hard not to laugh at Remus’ spaghetti-and-tomato-sauce-aided impression of a mindflayer), and then still found room for the vinetta his mom had dug out of the freezer and the chocolates that Virgil had handed out after Remus had gone home and the three of them were watching a couple of episodes of the crime show that had become Marta’s new passion, it was dark and quiet. Logan didn’t stir as he pulled the spare blankets from the bottom of his wardrobe and spread them on the floor, or when he pulled the two pillows from the unoccupied side of the bed and threw them down with the blankets. He changed in the bathroom; as he closed his bedroom door behind him, Logan made a quiet mumbling sound and rolled over slightly, pulling the duvet cover so that he was almost completely hidden beneath it.

It wasn’t just the discomfort of lying on the floor or the fact that he had slept most of the journey there that had Roman struggling to fall asleep that night.

Taglist - @canvas-the-florist

#LittleRedLies #Fake dating au

19 notes · View notes

a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years

Text

Mute

Prompt: I absolutely adore your writing! Could I ask for a request too, please? I was thinking of a back-and-forth between Janus and Logan, just lies after truths after lies, until one snaps and accidentally causes the other to lose the ability to speak? Since they can both technically change the reality around them. Either the recipient becomes forcibly mute or the very angsty "sowed up mouth" method. Whoever caused the other to lose their speech freaks out and tries their best to fix their mess while apologising. Either a platonic or romantic ending -whichever you decide- but with at least a happy ending please? - willowaudreykeyes

Thanks for the prompts, babe!

Read on Ao3

Warnings: sympathetic janus, logan gets his mouth sewn shut but it's okay we fix it

Pairings: can be platonic or romantic I don't care, but we hit logince, rociet, lociet

Word Count: 2922

He doesn’t even remember how it started.

Or, an argument between Logan and Janus spirals dangerously out of hand, and powers in the Mindscape are sometimes more curses than blessings.

It hadn’t been something Thomas knew about, it hadn’t been a group discussion—he doesn’t think the others know where they are. Virgil is probably in his room, Roman is working in the Imagination, Patton is baking with Remus.

He doesn’t remember how it started.

He does know how they got here.

“I fail to see what use this is,” Logan had grumbled, standing up from the library table, “I will be better off figuring this out myself.”

“Oh, yes, of course, because that’s always gone so well for you in the past.”

Logan’s eyes had flashed with anger he still denies he has. “I fail to see what gives you the opinion that you have any right to complain.”

“Because I’m certainly the one saying that I’ve done all my best work alone.”

Janus had smirked cruelly as Logan shoved his glasses back up his nose and pointed a finger at him. “Your track record, may I remind you, has certainly shown that.”

Janus had thrown his head back and cackled, filled with mirth that sat like rot in the pit of his stomach. “And yet I managed to do so much more in the few times I appeared than you.”

“Oh, like that’s the same thing.”

He had held his hand to his mouth in a mock gasp. “Why, Logan, surely you can’t be insinuating that you think the others are incompetent. How hurtful, what on earth would they say?”

“I did not say that.”

“But you meant it, didn’t you?” Janus had morphed his expression into a mock pout. “They’re all so slow, so irrational, all they do is get in the way, they’re so irritating.”

“You’re attempting to convince me that I said something I did not,” Logan had said firmly, “it will not work. The meaning of my remark, as you are aware, was that you, as your role in the videos, have an easier time disrupting the flow of conversation that I do as a member of the main cast.”

Logan had ignored—or perhaps not noticed—the subtle tightening of Janus’s fist. He had simply sniffed and looked down his nose.

“And even then, it’s a surprise you haven’t been more capable.”

Janus had bared his teeth. “Yes, because obviously, you could’ve done better.”

“Oh, please.” Logan had tucked his notebook into the crook of his arm. “Can you name one of your haphazard schemes that actually worked?”

Janus had gritted his teeth as Logan opened the notebook and began to read down the list.

“Your attempt to get Thomas to lie to Joan failed when Roman started to believe that lying was wrong as well, leading to Thomas discovering your true identity.”

“By all means,” Janus had growled, “keep going.”

“Most notably, your attempt to get Thomas to go to the callback backfired quite spectacularly—something that wouldn’t have happened in quite the same fashion had you actually let me participate—“

“Keep talking, Logan,” he’d said again, inching closer to the nerd, “that’s a wonderful idea.”

“—and of course, led to what is the most disruptive event in recent memory,” Logan had continued, undaunted, “the wedding.”

Janus hadn’t even bothered with words this time, reaching for the notebook with a growl. Logan had tucked it away before he could reach it.

“Tell me,” he had said, “was it worth it? Knowing how much it cost us?”

“Surely,” Janus had growled back, “then you know it’s not because you didn’t do your job well enough.”

Logan had stiffened. “What are you talking about?”

“Well surely you haven’t realized that the reason I was able to make it into that video in the first place,” Janus had said smoothly, sliding back into the ‘villain’ persona Logan has so graciously cast him in, “was that you were so painfully easy to replace.”

“Falsehood,” Logan had said lowly.

Janus had raised his hand again. “Oh, so you did notice. Splendid. Then you know that when it comes to pushing blame around the Mindscape—“

He had leaned closer.

“—you’re where we should be looking too.”

“I am—“

“Easy to overlook,” Janus had sung, prowling around Logan in a circle, “easy to silence. And surely there’s no correlation between when you attempt to override the others and when Thomas gets hurt. You want to talk about my failures? Then let’s not forget getting the others trapped in Patton’s room, shall we?”

Logan’s fists had tightened. “That’s not—“

“After all,” Janus had continued, speaking over him to illustrate his point, “if I’m to blame for knocking all the dominos down, you certainly didn’t give me a hand setting them up.”

“As if that in any way equivocates to what you did,” Logan had spat, the emotionless facade finally giving way as he whirled of Janus, “I did not use, manipulate, and lie to get the others to do what I want.”

“Oh, of course you didn’t.”

“And if I did, my lies would be nowhere near as comically obvious.”

“Ah, yes, of course you’re never comical.” Janus had tapped Logan’s flushed cheek. “The possibilities of you being a joke have always been…infinitesimal.”

Logan had bared his teeth as Janus chuckled. “At least my concept of a joke never hurt anyone.”

Logan’s mouth had tugged up cruelly too.

“Setting Remus loose on Thomas when you knew he was already upset, pushing the others to follow on whatever path you decided was best. And let’s not even start on what you did to Roman.”

Janus had flinched.

“Have you ever apologized?” Logan had shaken his head. “For everything that you’ve done to hurt him?”

“Have you?”

The room had dropped several degrees.

Janus had dropped the villain persona, staring directly at Logan.

“You want to talk about hurting the others, hurting Roman,” he had said lowly, “what do you think it is that you do?”

Logan had opened his mouth to speak but Janus had raised a finger.

“No. Do you know how much you’ve hurt him? Over how many years you’ve made him ashamed of who he is?” He had shaken his head. “I know I’ve hurt him. But you don’t seem to recognize it.”

He had looked Logan up and down, mouth curled in disgust.

“Maybe I’m not good enough at my job for your liking, but I sure was good at yours.” He had raised an eyebrow. “Maybe they wanted you silenced permanently. They did press the ‘skip’ button, after all.”

He had looked for the shadow of the bruise on Logan’s neck.

“And it was so easy to replace you. To silence you properly.”

He had turned away, not bothering to look at Logan’s face.

“Maybe I should do them a favor and keep you quiet.”

There had been a strangled gasp behind him.

“Oh, what,” Janus had drawled, turning around, “did you finally realize you don’t have a smart comeback for…”

The room had frozen.

…so that’s how they got here.

Janus, standing a few paces from Logan, turning back to face him, the sharp quip dying on the edge of his lips as his mouth drops open in horror, staring back.

Logan, his eyes wide, shining with unshed tears, glasses blurred and obscured by the bright light shining from the golden stitches that sew his mouth shut.

Logan raises trembling hands to his mouth, feeling the stitches, tears rolling down his face. His fingers disappear into the bright golden light as he fumbles with his mouth, until he realizes that he can’t.

The strangled scream lingers in Janus’s head long after Logan shrinks into a crouch on the floor.

No.

No, no, no, no—no, not Logan. Not Logan.

“Oh, god—“ Logan’s hands keep pressing fruitlessly against his mouth— “no, oh, god, Logan—“

He runs back, ready to crouch and pry Logan’s hands away before he hurts himself, chest splitting open from the ache of hurting the poor thing like this.

He doesn’t think it could hurt more.

Like so many other times today, he’s wrong.

The instant Logan catches a glimpse of him moving toward him, he shoves himself away, scrambling backward until his back hits the wall. Eyes wide, breathing as heavily as he can through the stitches, utterly terrified.

As he has every right to be.

“No, no, Logan,” he murmurs frantically, “no, it’s okay, I’m not trying to hurt you—“

Does it matter that you’re not trying? You certainly were earlier.

“—I promise, Logan, please, I’m—I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to—“

Through the pants, the sobs, the shakiness of his chest, Logan huffs, disbelieving.

“I didn’t, Logan, I promise.” Janus drops to his knees in front of the crying man. “I—we went too far. I’m sorry, I didn’t know this would happen, I didn’t mean to, please—“

The poor thing presses himself further against the wall. Janus swallows, feeling guilt press hot and heavy against the underside of his tongue. He reaches out, trying desperately to show him that he’s sorry, he didn’t mean to, he doesn’t actually believe anything he just said, he’s nothing but a liar, a horrible liar, please—

“I didn’t mean it, Logan, I promise, you’re—you’re not replaceable, I don’t want you silenced, the others don’t hate you, they don’t want you gone, I’m sorry—“

Slowly, too slowly, and not slowly enough, Logan’s breathing begins to settle. His eyes lose that awful whiteness and he slumps a little against the wall. His cheeks are damp, his glasses knocked askew, but he stares at Janus and slowly, slowly, nods.

“L-Logan?”

Another nod, a little less hesitant.

Janus’s shoulders slump. “Oh, Logan, why does it always end up with you being the better person?”

A tiny quirk of the eyebrow, nowhere near Logan’s typical sass levels, but it’s enough. It’s enough. Enough to make a weak smile come to Janus’s face.

“Can I come over, please? Can I come help?”

Logan nods, still wary as Janus shuffles across the floor. Before he makes it all the way there, he tugs off his gloves and stuffs them in his pocket.

“There,” he says quietly, wiggling his fingers to get used to it, “don’t want the fibers getting caught on anything.”

Logan’s wide-eyed stare tells him he knows why Janus really took the gloves off. Something Janus confirms a moment later.

“And I want you to know that I mean it.” He reaches forward. “Can I touch?”

Logan still flinches when Janus runs his thumb carefully over the cruel stitches sewing Logan’s mouth shut. He winces as he takes in how taut the thread is, how many stitches there are.

“Oh, Logan, I’m so sorry,” he mumbles, “does it hurt very badly?”

Another miserable nod.

Then it clicks.

Logan.

The one who submits least to the Imagination. The one who tethers himself tightly to the fact that they are metaphysical, they are subjective, they need not subject themselves to real-world consequences of whatever nonsense the other Sides pull.

Logan still has the stitches.

It threatens to break Janus’s heart all over again.

“Oh, sweetie,” he murmurs, cupping Logan’s face and slipping his glasses to the top of his head, “I’ve hurt you more than this, haven’t I?”

For indeed, if Logan is too upset to remember how to pull himself out of turns of phrase, then the poor thing is distraught.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay,” he murmurs, gently wiping away Logan’s tears, “it’s okay, sweetie, I’m not going to hurt you, it’s over, I’m not angry, I’m going to take care of you.”

And oh, the way Logan pushes shyly into his hands feels warm.

“Does this help, sweetie, is this alright?” At Logan’s nod, he moves, tucking Logan’s legs across his lap with his other hands. “Come here, yes—that’s it, shh, I’ve got you, you just focus on me.”

Logan’s eyes fall closed and a muffled whimper comes from his throat.

“I’ve got you, sweetie, I’m right here,” Janus murmurs, still cupping the poor thing’s head as it leans into him, “shh, shh, let’s get you a little calmer before we have a look, okay?”

Logan gives a huff of ‘what do you think I’m trying to do?’

“I know you know that, sweetie,” he chuckles, lifting Logan’s head to gently knock their foreheads together, “you’re clever. Our resident brain cell.”

He wraps one hand around the back of his neck.

“It’s just like what you taught us, remember? Object impermanence. This won’t last forever. I’m right here. You were so brave, you are so brave, so wonderful, so sweet…just give yourself time, sweetie, it’s okay.”

Logan relaxes a little in his hold as he keeps talking quietly. The poor thing gets over his hesitation and buries his face shamelessly in the crook of Janus’s neck.

“Shh, shh, that’s it, sweetie, easy now—“ Janus cradles him as he sets his glasses out of the way— “I’ve got you. I’m right here, sweetie, I’ve got you. It’s almost over, now, you can do it, shh.”

Another muffled noise from Logan.

“You’re not easily replaceable,” Janus says firmly, “you’re not unwanted. You’re not a joke, the others know how much you care about them, how much you help them, how important they are to you, how important you are to them.”

He tilts his head to press a kiss to Logan’s temple.

“How important you are to me.”

The golden light dims, sputters, and vanishes.

“…sweetie?”

Logan pulls back, carefully rubbing his fingers over his stitch-free mouth. He opens and closes a few times.

“Ouch.”

“Are you alright, sweet? I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to—“

“I know,” Logan says quietly, “I’m sorry too. That…escalated very quickly. I did not mean the things I said either.”

He squints.

“Oh, here—“ Janus passes him his glasses.

“Thank you. But that’s not why I—what were we arguing about, to begin with?”

Janus huffs a laugh. “I had been meaning to ask you that question.”

“Well, whatever it is, it must not have been very important.”

There’s a moment of silence.

“I’m sorry too,” Logan repeats after that pause, “you are not just a villain, you are not incompetent, and you…you are not to blame for everything that has gone wrong.”

Janus chucks him lightly under the chin. “Neither are you.”

“I know that, intellectually, and yet…somehow, it remains difficult for me to grasp.”

“Because even though you’re Logic, sweetie,” Janus says, “you’re Thomas’s Logic.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Because Thomas is, frankly, something of a dumbass.”

It startles a laugh out of him at any rate.

“I mean, that also makes you a dumbass.”

“Oh, I’m perfectly aware.”

Logan’s smile is wonderful. “What is it that Roman is quite fond of saying?”

“That he’s pure of heart, dumb of ass?”

“That’s is.”

“Well, it’s true.”

“It is.” Logan frowns. “Even if he’s far more intelligent than he gets credit for.”

Janus nudges him. “I hope you know that you can be big of brain and dumb of ass at the same time.”

“Ah. I see.”

There’s another moment of silence as they reflect on what’s been said. Then Logan nervously adjusts his tie.

“Speaking of Roman…”

“I was about to say.” Janus gives his knee a pat. “Shall we see if we can find him?”

“I believe his business in the Imagination should be done.” They help each other to stand, Logan keeping a grip on Janus’s sleeve. “Should we check his room first?”

“I think so.”

Roman, of course, swings open the door with a cheerful greeting, the role of the pompous prince firmly in place until he takes in their tear-stained faces and he melts, dropping the act almost immediately.

“Oh, my darlings,” he coos, cupping each of their faces in a hand, “what’s the matter? Why do you look so upset?”

“May we come in, please?” Indeed, poor Logan looks as if he’s about to melt into Roman’s arms. Janus can’t talk, though, he’s about to do the same.

“Of course, come on, let’s get you sat down—“

Roman bustles about the room, fetching them a glass of water, sitting on his bed with them, almost bursting into tears himself when he hears what’s happened and promptly telling them they’re going to spend the rest of the day right here, in comfy clothes, watching ridiculously obscure documentaries until Patton and Remus call them down for dinner. They keep a hand on each other at all times, laughing at Janus’s snarky responses to awful narrators, Logan’s quick corrections when the information is out of date, and Roman’s impersonations of the strange wildlife. Roman’s room is pleasantly noisy and they wouldn’t have it any other way.

He doesn’t remember how it started, but he will always remember how it ended.

Curled around each other, in the warmth and safety of the people who care about him.

General Taglist: @frxgprince @potereregina @reddstardust @gattonero17 @iamhereforthegayshit @thefingergunsgirl @awkwardandanxiousfander @creative-lampd-liberties @djpurple3 @winterswrandomness @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes @iminyourfandom @bullet-tothefeels @full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind @demoniccheese83 @pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious @firefinch-ember @fandomssaremysoul @im-an-anxious-wreck @crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch @enby-ralsei @unicornssunflowersandstuff @wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams @averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @aularei @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws @cecil-but-gayer @i-am-overly-complicated @annytheseal @alias290 @tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask @crows-ace @emilythezeldafan @frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires @cyanide-violence @oonagh2 @xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx @rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734 @triflingassailantofmyemotions

if you want to be added/taken off the taglist, let me know!

#dragonbabbles #fic #sanders sides #roman sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit

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cutesilyo · 3 years

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Notes and References for i know your eyes in the morning sun

Hi! These are notes and references for my IndoPhil fic i know your eyes in the morning sun, so please check it out before reading this!

Title: i know your eyes in the morning sun Summary: When a homesick Indonesia is unexpectedly taken out of his meeting for a day trip in Rome with Philippines, he isn't expecting much more than exhaustion ahead of him. Instead, what happens is a whirlwind of food, fun, and a surprising amount of reflection on their histories and differences as nations. And as he looks deeper and deeper in the other nation's bright eyes, he learns to come to terms with the feelings he's been ignoring for far, far too long. Alternatively: a nation who's too attached to the past goes on a date with a nation whose entire philosophy is built on trying to live in the moment. Yes, there is kissing involved. Read on: AO3 | FF.net

Scene 1: Pizza al taglio

As coincidence would have it, the G20 2021 Summit actually will be held in Rome, Italy. However, it’ll be on the end of October rather than the end of September like how its depicted in the fic. I’m also very much ignoring the COVID-19 pandemic. Pretend it never happened.

Borobudur is the largest Buddhist temple in the world, found in the island of Java, Indonesia. It was built way back in the 7th Century and it's probably Indonesia's top most visited site.

Terang bulan is basically like a really large, fluffy, folded pancake. It also has a variety of different names and is also eaten in Brunei, Malaysia, and Singapore.

If you could have a convenience store dedicated solely to pizza, that's what pizza al taglio establishments are like. Its literal translation is pizza by the cut, and since it's a lot more common to find in Rome than in other places in Italy, it's also called Roman-style pizza. The layout for the al taglio shop that Indonesia and Philippines go to is inspired from the shop that me and my family went to: a small family establishment just a short walk away from the Vatican.

You can actually find a recipe for Indonesia’s arugula and mozzarella pizza here: https://shared.publicmediaconnect.org/docs/atk/Pizza_Taglio_Cooks_Illustrated.pdf

Scene 2: Souvenir store + Bus stop

Indonesian rupiahs are notoriously hyperinflated, so the 15 euros that Philippines uses to buy the keychains convert to 250k+ rupiahs. That's around 50k short for actually being able to buy a local economy flight on Lion Air. For comparison, the same amount of euros convert to approximately 900 Philippine pesos. It’s also a few hundred pesos short of buying a local economy flight on Cebu Pacific.

There actually was a point when a G20 meeting was held in the Coliseum. It was the G20 culture ministers meeting just a few months ago, in July 2021.

Yes, on top of the thousands of festivals we already have, Filipinos also celebrate Oktoberfest! It's more of an excuse for local beer companies to shamelessly promote their product and encourage drinking fests on a massive scale, but a more legitimate Oktoberfest celebration is organized by the German Club in Manila. Lucky Philippines gets to celebrate it authentically in Munich with the German brothers, who historically aimed to conquer the Philippines before America managed to stake his claim. So if you sense that Germany is being oddly shy towards Philippines here, that's just Germany being embarrassed because of their history.

Italy's major international airport in Rome is Aeroporto Internazionale di Roma–Fiumicino "Leonardo da Vinci", so you generally just call it Fiumicino for short. A possible travel route for flying from the Philippines to Italy is Clark-Dubai-Rome, and another is Manila-Hong Kong-Rome.

Scene 3: Gianicolo

Bali, Boracay, and El Nido are beaches that serve as major tourist destinations.

Vietnam has already been mentioned to be a menace when she's drunk in her most recent character introduction. Laos is at the top of ASEAN when it comes to alcohol consumption, with the average Laotian drinking seven liters of pure alcohol every year.

Indonesia is sometimes known as the Invisible Nation. What this means to say is that there have not been many things that Indonesia has done that made massive waves on the global scale. From what I’ve read, this seems to have been an especially popular sentiment among Western analysts during the Cold War.

Australia's awkward attempt at an apology is a reference to when the Australian government had allegedly monitored and spied on the phone calls of several Indonesian officials. Indonesia and Australia have a history that goes far deeper than that though.

Monas is a common abbreviation for Indonesia's Monumen Nasional, proudly standing tall in the middle of Merdeka Square as a commemoration of the fight for Indonesian independence. Taman Surapati is a large, chill public park; it also has a monument dedicated to commemorating ASEAN there. Both are located in Jakarta, Indonesia's capital. Meanwhile, Philippines' mention of Luneta refers to Luneta Park. It's also known as Rizal Park, as it's the place where the national hero Jose Rizal was executed for the influence he had in encouraging the fight for Philippine independence.

In Rome, there are seven major hills: they formed the geographical heart of Ancient Rome, with Palatino and Campidoglio as the most significant given how connected they were to Rome's founding and Rome's religion. Gianicolo is outside the boundaries of Ancient Rome, and as such, it isn't counted among the seven hills. It is dedicated to the Roman god Janus and was a place for the augurs to divine the will of the gods — kind of like a prophecy, if a prophecy could be divined from bird entrails. Now it's a great spot for a scenic view of modern Rome which features, among other things, a large statue of Giuseppe Garibaldi. Garibaldi was a major figure in the Italian Reunification.

Nusantara means many different things, but in the era of the Majapahit empire, it referred to the vassal kingdoms in what is now modern-day Malaysia, Singapore, Brunei, Timor Leste, and the southern parts of modern-day Thailand and Philippines. Modern usage of the word in Indonesia generally refers to the Indonesian archipelago, but it can also be used to refer to the entirety of maritime Southeast Asia. Culturally and historically, Southeast Asia is divided into the mainland region (the countries connected to the Asian continent: Vietnam, Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, Myanmar) and maritime (the countries that are islands and archipelagos: Malaysia, Indonesia, Singapore, Brunei, Philippines).

Italy, together with the United Kingdom, is the largest European migration destination for Filipinos. The largest migration destination for Filipinos in general is America.

Shout-out to Ro-na for this wonderful headcanon of Philippines being sickly in his early days as a Spanish colony! The galleon ships used to facilitate trade between the Philippines and Mexico (perhaps the Philippines' most major contribution to the Spanish crown) would often be attacked by pirates or destroyed in typhoons, especially in the first few decades.

Majapahit and Srivijaya are only two of pre-colonial Indonesia's many powerful empires. A lot of the pre-colonial stuff has been simplified for brevity's sake, but a brief summary of it all basically goes like this: pre-colonial Indonesia was involved with everyone in maritime SEA, where everyone traded with each other; and mainland SEA was non-stop fighting where the major powers were the empires that would later become Vietnam and the Khmer empire that would influence everyone else in mainland SEA. You can find a more detailed look into mainland SEA history by Gemu in her posts here, who is my main influence for everything mainland SEA-related.

A young Brunei picking flowers for a young Philippines is a reference to all the marriages that had occurred between their nobility during the pre-colonial era.

Scene 4: Apartment

The turtle fountain in Rome is a real thing: Fontana delle Tartarughe was originally designed with dolphins in mind, but the dolphins were removed and replaced by turtles. In fandom, you usually see Philippines calling Indonesia kuya, which is Tagalog for older brother. In at least one Indonesian language (I can't remember which one at the moment, sorry!), kuya means turtle.

Tondo, Seludong, Butuan, Sulu, Sugbu, and Panay are all polities in pre-colonial Philippines, two for each of the main island groups in the country: Luzon in the north, Mindanao in the south, and Visayas in the middle. Unlike pre-colonial Indonesia, the societies in the Philippines were never united by a single kingdom or empire; the Philippine islands were only united through the efforts of Spanish and American colonization.

Filipinos tend to sing a lot. Many of us are really good at it. Karaoke is really popular here.

Philippines' PIN code of 8862 is a reference to when ASEAN was founded: August 8, 1962. The founding members were Philippines, Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore, and Thailand.

This might be as good of a time as ever for me to mention that I am depicting Philippines and Indonesia as Catholic and Muslim respectively. Filipinos are predominantly Catholic and the Philippines is the largest Catholic country in Asia, while Indonesia has a number of official religions and is the largest Muslim nation in the world.

Special thanks to Desa for helping me with Indonesia's prayer times! Normally, Muslims pray five times a day, but when travelling Muslims are allowed to pray only three times. This is called Qasr salah, or Qasr sholat in Indonesia. What is usually Fajr (called Subuh in Indonesia), Zuhr, Asr, Magrib, and Isha becomes only Fajr, Zuhr-Asr, and Mahgrib-Isha; essentially, without getting into the specifics of time, a prayer for sunrise, afternoon, and night. The mosques will remind everyone when it's prayer time with adhan (called adzan in Indonesia), but in non-Muslim countries abroad, many Muslims have to use websites and apps to keep track. Something I didn't mention in the fic is that Rome actually has the largest mosque in the Western world, Moschea di Roma, so Indonesia could have potentially prayed there.

Scene 5: Apartment dinner table

Sholat wouldn’t take Indonesia more than a few minutes, so imagine that he did something else while waiting for Philippines to finish cooking.

Baked fish with sliced lemons is a meal that got served to me a lot in Italy. Chop suey is Chinese, but China has had a significant cultural influence for most of Southeast Asia throughout history; the Indonesian version is known as kap cay. Indomie Mi Goreng is a particularly tasty and famous kind of instant noodles from Indonesia. It's very popular in many Asian countries. Indonesia doesn’t drink, but Philippines is drinking white wine because that’s what you’re supposed to do when eating fish. Red wine goes with meat.

Admittedly, this is my own personal headcanon, but I like to think of Philippines living in Spain with the other Spanish colonies while everyone else in maritime SEA were left behind to live in their own countries. It's my own neat Hetalia universe explanation for how much Spanish influence there is in Filipino culture, and how isolated Filipinos can sometimes feel among their neighbors.

I do think that Philippines would have a Hispanic-sounding human name, but I've never really settled on what name actually would be: in fandom, Felipe, Lorenzo, and Jaime get thrown around a lot. In contrast, it seems like most people have settled on Dirga (short for Dirgantara) for Indonesia.

Philippines is sometimes called as la colonia abandonada in Spanish sources: the abandoned colony. Because the Philippines was so far away, Spain couldn't manage the colony directly and had to rely on Mexico/Nueva España to do the dirty work until Mexico became independent. This led to a more relaxed manner in how the country was managed for most of its Spanish colonial life; some scholars even go as far as saying that Spain's treatment of the Philippines was kinder than Spain's treatment of Latin America. I don't really agree — it was different, sure, but it wasn't kind in the least.

Contrast that with Indonesia as the largest and most important colony of the Dutch empire. Aside from all the money and economic prosperity that Indonesia gave to the empire, you'll also find many Dutch songs and hymns that are all praises to Indonesia. Much of the research in Indonesian history, ethnography, and archeology was made possible because of Dutch interest and support; until now, the Netherlands remains to be Europe's leader when it comes to Indonesian studies. This isn't to say that Netherlands treated Indonesia well, however.

After the Japanese occupation of Indonesia in WW2, Netherlands fought to keep power over the archipelago. Needless to say, the Netherlands failed. Indonesia was recognized as an independent country soon after.

Indië is the Dutch colonial name for Indonesia.

APEC is the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation, of which Philippines and Indonesia (and Thailand!) are members.

Scene 6 + 7: Apartment bedroom

What was Philippines doing in the 1920s, you ask? Being an American colony and trying to lobby for laws that would hasten his independence. Indonesia was in the middle of what’s called the Indonesian National Awakening; all the different peoples under Indonesia were beginning to come together and unite to fight for a single independent nation.

As a tarsier, Pien is actually supposed to be nocturnal; he shouldn't be sleeping at night at all. Maybe he just got jet lagged? Who knows.

BL stands for the boy's love genre of TV series. For years, Thailand had been the lead when it came to BL production with shows like TharnType and SOTUS. Recently, the Philippines has also been developing BL series — Gameboys specifically had achieved worldwide acclaim and is distributed globally through Netflix.

Filipino languages tend to have more complex verb conjugation and sentence structure compared to Bahasa Melayu and Bahasa Indonesia. The linguistic explanation for this is that most of the Filipino languages are based on the older Proto-Malayo-Polynesian language while Bahasa Melayu and Bahasa Indonesia are based on the newer, more simplified descendants of Proto-Malayo-Polynesian.

Pramoedya Ananta Toer was an Indonesian author that focused a lot of his work on nationalistic sentiments. He has a quote on bravery that I really like: Dalam hidup kita, cuma satu yang kita punya, yaitu keberanian. Kalau tidak punya itu, lantas apa harga hidup kita ini? Loosely translated, this reads as: In our life, we only have one thing, which is bravery. If it’s not, what is the value of our life?

Indonesia, as a large archipelago in the Pacific Ring of Fire, has a lot of active volcanoes. In contrast, the Philippines is regularly hit by tens of typhoons annually.

There are an estimated 12 million Filipinos overseas, and this number consistently rises through the years. It's one of the largest diaspora populations: name a country, you'll probably find a Filipino working there somewhere. OFWs (Overseas Filipino Workers) account for 10% of the country's population and the remittances they send back to their families account for 10% of the country's GDP. Indonesia has a similar phenomenon with TKIs (Tenaga Kerja Indonesia), of which there are 4.5 million worldwide.

Post-independence, Indonesia was very paranoid over Western influence in Southeast Asia. In that same time period, Philippine delegates to international conferences would always speak of democracy and the looming threat of Communism; even though most of the Asian delegates would prefer to move past Western problems and disputes to focus on a united Asia.

Telenovelas are soap operas produced in Latin America. They became popular in Southeast Asia as they were distributed and remade here. The Indonesian equivalent is the sinetron, and the Filipino equivalent is the teleserye.

Additionally, I cannot stress enough how much this fic is built on the foundations laid by others. I’ve already mentioned how much I took inspiration from Gemu’s depiction of mainland SEA, but I also credit Indonesia’s thing for temples to Desa; the passive-aggressive energy between Thailand and Philippines to Hali; amnesiac Piri to Koko, Kopi, and Sopas (among the many). There are a dozen other things I can attribute to a huge assortment of writers and artists: that Singapore has trouble remembering his pre-colonial roots as well, that Piri might have had a good relationship with Romano, Piri’s general flirty and flighty attitude, Indonesia’s awkwardness and big brother aura, etcetera, etcetera. If you’re someone that has been contributing to the SEA fandom these past few months, thank you. Thank you so much.

#mine #indophil #hws indonesia #hws philippines #hws #PHEW THIS TOOK THE WHOLE MORNING TO WRITE

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treenissanderssidesstuff · 3 years

Text

One

A03 Link

Thank you to @edupunkn00b for helping me beta this story!

Words: 4222

Pairing: Roceit (Platonic Demus)

TW: None that I know of, feel free to inform me.

Summary: Janus decides to play "prince."

Inspired by @aidensm8's work in the request they filled for me. Also loosely inspired by some of the drawings @reddstardust made in response to aiden's work as well.

Link to post.

Ah HAH! I found it! Link to original ask.

The darkside’s corridor had been quiet recently, annoyingly so in Remus’ opinion. It’d been quiet in general since Virgil left and the terrible trio became a dinky duo, but now that Janus split his time between the sides, Remus had found himself increasingly uno. It was usually fine, he had the entire imagination to keep him busy and entertained, after all. He could make sides if he wanted to. But… it wasn’t quite the same. That was probably the only reason he had bothered to hang around at all when Janus went on another tirade about how insufferable and brainwashed the lightsides were, how Roman was being pushed, blah blah blah. After the last video release, the dialogged had temporarily shifted. That had gotten Remus’ attention. It seemed that Roman had rejected Janus, not just chosen someone else’ way over the deceitful side’s own, but outright stood against Janus even when the others folded around him. It would be funny, if it weren’t so sad.

All of Janus’ plans had been for Roman’s sake.

And in three miscalculated moves, Janus had managed to push away the one side he sought the approval of.

“Do you think this will work?” Janus asked, tugging at the yellow sash hanging off his shoulder again.

“Oh, definitely not,” Remus said flatly, flipping through an upside down fairytale book on the couch with a bored expression on his face. The duke had been forced to hear about Janus’ plans to woo—“reconcile” with Roman for days and at this point it was honestly slightly obnoxious how invested Janus was. “But it’s just the right side of disgustingly cheesy that Roman’s sure to love it even when you inevitably fall on your face.”

“I will!” Janus “I- I mean I won’t! I mean-!“ Janus shoved his face in his hands with a groan.

Remus quirked an eyebrow in the snake’s direction, watching the self-proclaimed “Lord of Lies” try and compose himself. Thankfully, Remus did know what he meant, even when Janus wasn’t sure of it himself. It was one of his special skills as the bestfriend™.

“Look, J, I’m going to tell you this very clearly and carefully, as your friend,” Remus said, pushing up into a sitting position from his previous sprawl across the couch. “Your plans suck.”

"Excuse you?!" Janus nearly shrieked in retaliation to Remus' brand of hard truths. “They do!… not!”

Remus couldn't have stopped the subsequent string of chuckles if he wanted to. That was the biggest lie he'd ever heard Jan tell and Remus had heard plenty over the years given how rarely the two were ever apart. The darkside pair just meshed well. Janus was the liar, sure, but Remus was the secret keeper. Even if Roman struggled to understand Janus, Remus never had. The snake couldn't hide from him, even when he wanted to. It came with Remus' position as the holder of intrusive thoughts; he got a front row seat to every dirty little secret the others tried to lock away and bury in their little shame closets. What they didn't realize however, was that Remus had the master key. Remus quite literally was the little hint of truth behind every one of Janus' lies. The truths that Janus tried to tug and weave and bend around the others to get his way.

Remus was the keeper of the blatant, harsh, and often downright uncomfortable truths, not just what the sides tried to hide from Thomas, but also what they tried to hide from each other. It was a lot like the story The Giver. Someone had to hold all of the knowledge the little utopia unit tried to hide from and Remus had been designated. Though, he usually thought of himself more of a receiver than anything. Roman was the giver of the pair. The giver of dreams, wishes, and fantasies. Remus was more like a radio with the dial gummed up and stuck on where the power switch had broken off ages ago. Not that all of the secrets were so bad to tune into, some were sweet, some were shy, and a few were even downright adorable, but more often than not, secrets were kept that way for a reason and the Deceitful side had the most secrets of all.

They worked because Janus could never ever keep a secret from Remus and likewise, Remus would never ever tell.

The Deceitful side trusted him, was the only one to trust him and Remus was adamant to keep that trust. Remus locked it in a little box and kept it close, in the few little hideaways he had. In his pockets, within little small nooks of the imagination, and under the bed on the nights when Thomas’ thoughts turned up to an 11 and even Remus started to wonder what he still had left to give.

He had that.

A tiny little secret of his own.

Most of the time, it was enough.

"Your. Plans. Suck." Remus emphasized, slowly, pushing up from the ratty sofa Janus had sewn back up after Remus’ countless escapades over the years. Janus complained about it every time. He cited everything from the loose springs, and flattened stuffing, to the threadbare upholstery and warped base. He always told Remus just to replace the broken thing, but that never stopped careful fingers in yellow-clad gloves from systematically putting the thing back together again each time, always working away at it before Remus could even consider replacing the old lump.

That was his friend’s best and worst trait after all. Janus could not let things go. He wrapped and coiled and held on to any little scrap that he could get a hold of. His problem was that when he panicked, that coil became a death grip.

That's how they lost Virgil.

And that's how Janus was currently losing Roman.

"My plans are ama--mph--" Janus glared at Remus with fury striking like lightning in his eyes after Remus willed a zipper to appear across Janus' lips to force them shut, fully closing even the snake side.

Even best friends needed a taste of their own medicine every now and again, lest they forget how bitter it can be.

"Ah, ah, ah my sweet snoot," Remus nearly sang as he skipped over to his favorite danger noodle and reached out to boop Janus' nose. "It's my turn to talk now.

“You went in and pretend to be Patton, just to have him show up on you and made Thomas want to tell the truth more. Even then, you had almost had Roman on your side, but got so focused on semantics, you missed the actual benefits. You reviewed, revised, and waited to try again after deciding Logan and his facts were the problem, right?

“Then—“ Remus started, holding his mace up threateningly as Janus made some displeased, but muffled noises from behind the zipper, likely some kind of litany of curses. Had Remus not been prepared with his mace, the other side likely would have already tried to strong arm him into getting rid of the bound. “You tried to play Logan and just… ugh, Janny you are not allowed to act anymore. That was a terrible performance. Anyway! The trial starts and you get into it and try to defend what Roman wants, right?”

Janus’ incomprehensible complaints cease, only for him to squint at Remus suspiciously and give a slow nod.

“Wrong!” Remus proclaimed, swinging his mace toward the snake and stopping so close to his face, the metal spikes brushed some of the bangs hanging over the bridge of Janus’ nose. “Instead, you got carried away again. You got caught up in semantics and made it about who Thomas is as a person rather than what would be the better choice to make.

“In short, you made it all about you. Again,” Remus said, letting his morning star drop as the energy was sucked out of him with his rant. “Sure, you won the argument, but you lost what you actually wanted.”

Remus wasn’t usually one to insert his opinions on things, that was more Janus’ thing and, gosh it was exhausting. How did the snake even keep up with just… caring so much about everything?

It seemed Remus wasn’t the only one suddenly exhausted though, because after rubbing some of the strain out of his own eyes, the duke watched Janus slowly slump backwards until he was all but sitting on the arm of their scrap couch. He wasn’t fighting the zipper any longer, his extra arms were tucked away and his normal pair were laid listlessly on his lap now as he stared down at his own yellow gloves.

“How was my brother meant to make any other decision when you put what Thomas wanted, against who he wanted to be? I wouldn’t care, indulgence is my territory. But Roman’s job is to be the dream, the ideal. You should know that.”

When Janus finally looked up at Remus, he just looked sad.

He looked pale, his eyes were shiny, and all the regality he tried to hold himself with in that dupe prince costume just fell away from him as he pressed his palms to his temples.

Remus finally let the zipper fall away into nonexistence.

He wasn’t done yet.

“Look J, I know you had good intentions.”

“But?” a slightly rough voice asked from a newly freed mouth as a yellow glove brushed the remaining ghosting sensations of the enclosure away.

Remus sighed, already imagining the hoard of grotesque creatures he’d be battling through in the imagination after this “talk.” He needed something to balance out all of the gross feelings and shit.

“But I don’t think Roman or Thomas would have chosen the wedding if you hadn’t gotten side tracked. You tried to prove you’re ugh ‘goodness’ by arguing you’re a part of Thomas. Your whole argument backfired and made him question if he’s any good. What else did you expect but for him to try and prove he is? Not to mention the after incident.”

“That was meant to be an apology,” Janus murmured miserably. “I had taken Logan’s place with the intention of leading Roman to work out his own mistreatment.”

“But you showboated.”

“I-“ Janus started, clearly ready to argue again, but stopped himself with a single look from Remus. “…I did what I thought was necessary.”

“Did you now?” Remus snorted. “Sure, going and pretending to be the nerd I get, but why change went Patton went full kaiju? You could have kept up the act and stood alongside Roman. It would have been an all around win for the lightsides as everyone would think Roman and Logan worked together to reign in one of their own.”

“I… I just wanted….”

“You wanted to be accepted. You saw an opportunity to be the hero and you took it, not caring who you hurt along the way. First you took Patton’s role as morality, then you took Logan’s role as logic, and to round it all out, you took Roman’s role as Thomas hero. That’s your problem.”

“Is wanting a place at the discussion table so bad?” Janus asked with a sigh, folding his arms in his lap.

“No, but taking it is,” Remus said, tugging the tiny chain that typically held Janus’ cape to his shoulders. It was currently re-purposed to secure the cape into a makeshift sash.

“Because that’s not a hypocritical statement at all, coming from you,” Janus replied swatting at Remus’ hands that still fiddled with his sash. “It’s not as if you, oh I dunno, knocked out Roman and took his spot during your entrance or anything.”

“True, but when I did it, I made Robro their hero.” Remus said, letting himself fall back onto the couch lazily as Remus saw the first sign of real recognition budding within his friend’s heterocromatic eyes.

“He is their hero.”

“Does he know that?”

“He wouldn’t believe me if I told him so.”

“So, what are you going to do?”

###

Roman groaned and carefully maneuvered his skirt from the grasp of yet another birch tree. It was fair to say that the photo shoot wasn’t exactly going how he had pictured it when he had chosen a full gown paired with an outdoor setting. He knew there must have been a reason why the others had all chosen knee length skirts and stayed indoors. Instead of just taking a picture, Roman had to build a scene. He had to wow his audience and every part of the image had to be carefully designed. He just… hadn’t exactly thought everything through. Roman had imagined something more along the lines of sweeping gracefully through the forest as the gown swished around him as his every movement was made even more graceful by the gentle sway of the fabric.

He hadn’t accounted for how often his outfit would catch on the branches and foliage around him.

It wasn’t fair.

Disney princesses usually seemed to magically get along with the flora and fauna around them, long skirts or not, unless they were being trailed by some evildoer of course, but that didn’t count. Roman was by himself at the moment. On break from getting frustrated one too many times as his own outfit betrayed him during the photo shoot. The photographer and set designer needed some time to reevaluate the next set and Roman needed some time to clear away his current frustration.

So, into the woods he went. He carefully lifted his skirt to protect it against nearly ripping for the fourth or fifth time today as he gingerly stepped around branches, dearly missing his boots as stray twigs tried to impale themselves into his sandled feet. At least his hair wasn’t so long that it would get unexpectedly tangled in the branches above, but he did have to pick some burrs off of his bolero already after he had tried to catch himself on a bush during an unfortunate stumble. The maneuver saved his outfit from getting muddy, but he didn’t make it unscathed.

Roman had dreamed of being on the cover of magazines his whole life. Though, in those dreams it was usually due to a movie deal but he had never been opposed to the idea of modeling like some of the other sides were. Logan found the idea of it mindless, Virgil was anxious about the attention, and Patton wasn’t fond of the rumored cutthroat environment. Still, Roman had thought it seemed so glamorous. However, he hadn’t taken into account how much work it was.

Sure, it seemed simple. Pose and shoot, right? In reality though, it was tedious work as the photographer rapidly took hundreds of pictures at just slightly different angles so they could all be evaluated later for the “best” ones. That meant not just holding a pose, but also holding an expression. Roman felt like his acting skills were being put to fill use as he tried to strike the idea of power into each click of the camera.

Absolutely nothing about this had been simple though.

Roman found himself sighing and leaned against one of the scattered trees for moral and physical support after carefully maneuvering his gown around it. He would be fine. He was royalty after all and the first rule was to never let them see you cry. It would all be okay once he took a chance to catch his metaphorical breath. Though, the literal sense wasn’t a bad idea either. He imagined the breathing exercises that Virgil had gone through with him when the prince accidentally shown up at Virgil’s door in a less than royal state after the whole wedding debauchery and name reveal sham. The near panic attacking pulling him there unwittingly.

It was… it was nice. Roman and Virgil had been getting along better than ever after his own acceptance video, but it was like a new wall had broken down around the pair. Virgil had stationed himself as Roman’s personal bodyguard since the events that need not be named and… it was nice. A little lonely, but he appreciated everything that the anxious side was doing for him and especially appreciated how he kept between him and the-side-who-probably-lied-about-his-name-anyway.

Roman didn’t think he was ready to open up that can of snakes quite yet.

Hey Princey, it’s going to be okay, yeah? You’re better than this… and him.

The words rang around Roman’s skull once, twice, and then he straightened his shoulders. Even when Virgil wasn’t around, he was right. The prince could practically feel the anxious side aiming a smirk his way from somewhere in the incomprehensible distance. Still, it was good to remember.

He was better than this.

He was going to march right back to that photo-shoot, take some fabulous as fuck photos, and then march home with his head hell high because he was going to look damn good in the final set!

Hiking up his skirt again, Roman prepared himself for the trudge back, feeling ready to take on the world once again, except—

—except something caught his eye.

Well… there was a well… a literal one out in the distance. It was old looking, some of the bricks were broken or even just missing, and there seemed to be this misty haze that hung around it, a little thinner than full fog, but something about it felt slightly… otherworldly? With only a moment of hesitation, Roman found himself taking a step towards it and then another, and then another…

…the others would be fine without him for just a few minutes longer, right?

It was such an oddly beautiful scene, broken down and uncared for, but there was still something just so striking about it. Plus, how many chances would be get to interact with a real life well? This could be a great location to take some shots and he’d be remiss if he didn’t take advantage of it!

There was also one other advantage to it as well. It wasn’t often after all that real settings lended themselves so pefectly to the Disney aesthetic. Mind you, Snow White was by no means his favorite movie. The plot-line was a bit... outdated. Still, he admired the film for everything it represented as the first Disney classic of the golden age, the film that really started it all! Snow White was a marvel of animation for its time and the well song was the sound engineers of the time showing off.

He could respect that.

Roman crept closer, one careful step at a time until his toes of his sandles nearly touched the stone. He, ever so gently, let himself kneel down slowly, until his knees began to rest upon the well’s edge. He carefully let his shoulders relax as he watched the light reflecting in the water’s slightly cloudy surface. It was just for a tiny bit longer, after all. He let his hands slowly unclench from around the skirt as the velvety material draped and flowed around him. It was nice to have something else bear the weight of the heavy material for a little while.

“Make a wish into the well,” Roman whispered, letting his fingers trace over the loose stones circling the murky opening. To be fair, it was the tiniest bit more decrepit then the one pictured in the film. He sighed and slowly let his form drape across the layered bricks as he let one hand hang over the side as his fingertips danced across the water’s surface. “That’s all I have to do, huh?”

“And if you hear it echoing, your wish will soon come true~”

The sweet bell chime of Snow’s voice only sang the next line within Roman’s own mind, but it was enough to spur his continuance.

“I’m wishing~” Roman quietly sang, trying not to feel too silly as his voice carried to no one at all. At least Snow had some animals to sing to. He had nothing but the ripples of a moss covered and slightly over-flooded well that had certainly acted as a catch all drainage for the recent string of storms.

Roman tried not to empathize with the stacked pile of rocks.

He wasn’t sure if it was the well or his own internal imagination still remembering the movie, but he could almost hear an echo reply back with, “I’m wishing”

“For the one I love, to find me,”

“To find me”

“Todaaay.”

“Todaaaaay~” came a smooth voice behind Roman’s back, causing the royal side to literally jump up and onto their feet from their previous position lounged across the well edge.

“Deceit,” Roman glowered, hiking up the lengthy gown to take a couple cautionary steps backwards. He wasn’t sure what to make of what he was seeing. There Janus was, decked out in an outfit modeled after his own typical princely gear, right down to the sash that was—wait—was that his cape?

“Not today,” Janus said simply, taking slow steps forward until the fake prince came nearly nose to nose with the real one. “Today, my darling, I thought I’d try something new, just for you.”

And then the humming started.

“Now that I’ve found you, hear what I have to saaay~” Janus started, singing along to the familiar tune. “One song,~”

“~Ever entreating, constant but true~”

A gloved hand tried to weave its way between Roman’s fingers as the other hovered just to Roman’s side and would have been only a moment away from resting against his hip, had he not jerked away the moment those gloves touched him.

“There’s nothing ‘true’ about you!” Roman yelled, not caring anymore that the edges of his skirt swept the soil beneath him as he pulled away.

Roman had planned a second round of photos after his break, but couldn’t stand the thought anymore. No, Janus had ruined this for him, just like everything else he had systematically ruined in Roman’s life recently.

Roman was about to start again, blaming the Deceitful side for this, for mercilessly pushing and shoving his way into Roman’s space, his things, his life, except—

—expect he had this look on his face. Big, mismatched eyes stared back at Roman, wide, and shimmery and open. Roman had to remind himself that the hurt shining his way was probably just another trick, just another ploy to manipulate the prince again.

...Okay, not even Roman totally believed it.

“What do you want from me?” Roman whispered, he didn’t know if he was asking the other side or himself from how quietly his voice whispered the words.

“I just want one.”

One what?

“One chance,” Janus said, taking a slow step forward toward the prince. “One opportunity to apologize properly.”

As Janus moved forward, one of Roman’s feet took a preparatory step backwards for balance, ready to move, ready to defend or flee. But Roman stayed rooted in place as the snake in princely garb moved closer.

“One day, that I can pretend that my actions and intentions had aligned, my dear,” Janus said, only stopping once his chest nearly brushed against Roman’s own. “One day, to pretend that I was your savior.”

“I don’t under—“ Roman muttered, before he could curse himself for engaging with this at all. His brain was just the smallest bit frazzled from the proximity and Janus had no shortage of charm in the way he could deliver a line.

“Shhhhh,” Janus hushed gently, tugging the yellow gloves from his hand before he reached up to trace his thumb against Roman’s cheekbone. “Can’t we just have a fantasy for a little while my prince? Just this once?”

Roman swallowed as Janus leaned further into his space.

“Fantasy is my specialty, I suppose,” Roman muttered, clinging to the fact that the sweet talk was simply to get him to conjure some kind of indulgent daydream rather than trying to lead Roman to some other kind of nefarious goal. “What kind of fantasy were you looking to dive into?”

“I want one where I gave you your happy ending in the way I intended Roman.”

Roman just stared, his jaw dropping slightly at those words.

Janus didn’t flinch, didn’t throw his voice, or quirk his eyebrows, or any of number of little tells that the Deceitful side expected the others to pick up on in conversation. No he just met Roman’s stare with something heavy behind those heterochromatic eyes.

“Please Roman? I know it’s selfish to ask, but we both know selfish is what I am. Just let me be one today. Can’t we pretend for just one day?”

“What ‘one’ do you even mean?” Roman huffed half-heartedly. Even he could feel the fire slowly extinguishing in his chest as the conversation continued. “Who are you today then? The liar or the saint?”

Janus paused a moment, his gaze unwavering from Roman’s own face. Roman watched the scales on his neck glimmer in the sunlight as he swallowed, before taking the last final step into the prince’s space as a gloveless hand sat itself on Roman’s hip.

“Neither today my dearest,” Janus said with a cocky smile as he used his free hand to brush Roman’s fluffy bangs from his eyes.

“Today, I simply want to be the one in your fantasy.”

#roceit #sanders sides #fanfiction #roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #disney themes

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trashyswitch · 3 years

Text

The Auction

Nico is running an auction to see who might buy some animatronics. Sure enough, tons of people come! Especially parents with kids!

For everyone featured in the fanfic!

I hope you all enjoy!

“Patton: The fatherly animatronic. He can make ice cream, he can run with the kids! He’s been programmed to hug and develop friendships with all children. He can teach good life lessons! And he can even make balloon creatures for them.” Nico explained.

“And...Roman?” The person asked.

“Aah, yes. Roman is a fighter. He’s a stage actor with a love for being the hero! And his sketchy brother, with the iron mace. They are not sold separately.” Nico told them.

“Interesting...How much is Patton on for?” The person asked.

“$5000.” He replied.

“Hm...Not bad.” The person looked at Patton curiously and smiled. “Does he have any flaws?” The man asked.

“There have been instances of following the kids home till he shuts down...And there have been moments when he hugs too hard. But other than that, he’s in really good shape.” Nico told him.

The guy smiled and placed a hand onto Patton’s cheek. Suddenly, Patton closed his eyes. “Awww…”

The man gasped and pulled his hand away. “Oh god he’s on?!”

Nico giggled. “He is on, sir.”

Patton looked at the guy and smiled. “I’m Patton! You can call me Pat if you want.” Patton explained.

“Yes. He also goes by Pat if that’s easier. He’ll even scan mispronounciations of his name and react to those as well.” Nico explained. “An example of this is ‘Pabbin.”

“Yes?” Patton turned his head to Nico.

“See?” Nico smiled, patting his shoulder. “He’s a good one.”

Patton giggled and hugged Nico eagerly.

Patton let Nico go and looked at the other person there. “And what’s your name?” Patton asked the person.

“I’m Violet.” They introduced.

“Ooooh! Like purple!” Patton declared, clapping his hands and jumping up and down.

“Yeah, like purple. I like green too.” Violet told him.

Patton gasped and turned to Remus. “Ooooh REEEMUUUUS!”

Violet widened their eyes. No way…

“Violet likes green!” Patton declared.

Remus looked down at his own clothes and fist pumped the air. “YESSSS!”

Violet giggled at this reaction.

“Wise competition for the GREEEEEN!” Remus said, running up to the two of them with his mace in hand.

“Is this real?” Violet asked Remus.

Remus ripped it from her hands. “Yes! And no touchy!” Remus ordered.

“Remus, be nice! Or else you’re not gonna get sold.” Nico ordered.

“Have you ever considered that maybe I don’t wanna be sold to a stranger?” Remus asked.

Patton walked around the auction, looking around for the kids. Suddenly, one of the kids ran up to the animatronic!

“Awww! Hello little girl! And what’s your name?” Patton asked.

“Ashy!” She replied.

“Ashy, huh? Like Ashy, dashy flashy?” Patton teased.

Ashy giggled into her hand.

“My name is Patton!” The animatronic told her. “Say, are you ticklish by any chance?” Patton asked.

“Noooo!” She giggled.

“Noooo? Are you sure about that?” Patton teased before poking her sides and belly.

Ashy giggled and laughed as she backed up little by little. “Nohohohoho! Pahahahahat!” Ashy told him.

“Oh, alright.” Patton stopped tickling her and started to stand up. But Patton froze in place the moment someone hugged his leg. Looking down, Patton realized it was Ashy trying to tell him something. “Ihihi didn’t want you to stop…” She admitted.

“Patton smiled widely and picked up the little girl. “Well if that’s the case:” Patton started throwing her up into the air and catching her. After the third catch, Patton started tickling her sides, and ribs. “Tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle!”

Ashy was laughing, snorting and giggling all over the place as she sat in his arms.

Nico was about to intervene, when someone stopped him. “It’s alright. She really likes it.” She told him.

Nico let out a breath of relief. Thank goodness…

Patton soon stopped tickling her and hugged her tightly before giving her a gentle squeeze.

“Yay! Mommy, mommy, can we keep him?” Ashy asked as she was put down.

“Maybe, sweetheart…He’s kinda expensive.” The mom admitted.

“I don’t know hunny…$5000 for an animatronic big forever babysitter is not bad.” her father admitted. “My headphones were crappy and were sold for $300.” He explained.

Patton looked around the auction room at all the tables and posters everywhere. It was so decorated and pretty!

A guy walked up to the broken yellow and grey animatronic. “What does this do?” The person asked.

“Ah, that’s Janus: a...dangerous animatronic, to be honest. He was scrapped after he allowed kids to use knives and matches.” The doctor told him.

“Cooool…” He reacted, grabbing the animatronic. “I like it! How much?”

2500. He’s not nearly as expensive because he’s fairly broken. But if you wanna use him for spare parts-”

“I’m not using him for spare anything.” Alex grabbed his own hat and replaced the wrecked black hat on the animatronic’s head. “I’m gonna fix him up.” Alex told him with a smirk.

Nico walked away before he could get caught up in Alex’s questionable shenanigans.

Roman growled and pushed a person’s hand away.

“This animatronic is threatening…” The person said.

“Yeah...No touching me.” Roman ordered. “Only Nico can touch.”

“Now now, Roman...that’s not how you get buyers.” Nico told him.

“Why don’t you wanna keep us?” Roman asked. “Are we not good enough for you? Or, perhaps too much for you?” Roman asked.

“We’re giving you to actual owners who will wanna keep you for other jobs. See it as adoption.” Nico told him.

“Except I’m being sold for $4000. Why is Patton more expensive than me?”

“Because you’re a little more dangerous than Patton is. And because everyone has been flocking to Patton.” Nico explained.

Roman huffed and looked down.

“I like this one. He’s sassy.” the same person admitted from earlier.

“I do too.” Another person admitted.

“Can I have your names please?” Nico asked.

“Shannon.” The first person said.

“Sayge.” The other person said.

“Alright. I’m putting your names into the hat.” Nico told them, placing two names in.

“Alright.” Shannon told him.

“What does this one do?” Sayge asked.

“He’s a fighter. But he likes other things like costumes. He’s a theatre animatronic.” Nico explained.

“Are they meant to have personalities?”’ Shannon asked.

“Well…”

“Excuse me?!” Roman reacted.

“YES...He was.” Nico replied. “We are quite surprised at how strongly the personalities effect the animatronics, however.” Nico added.

“I see…” Shannon responded.

“Do you have spare swords?” Sayge asked.

“Yes we do.” Nico got Sayge a sword. “What for?”

Sayge ran up to Roman and started dueling with him. “EN GARDE, ROMAN!”

“EN GARDE!” Roman yelled back, perrying the sword.

Shannon giggled at this while Nico sighed in slight annoyance. Of all the things to start during the auction…

Soon, people started flocking up to the human and the animatronic, and started watching with curiosity and excitement. It didn’t take long before people split themselves into separate cheerers. Some of them cheered for Roman, others cheered for ‘Roman’s Foe’.

Roman smiled and winked at Nico before spinning the other sword out of Sayge’s hand. Sayge jumped and put his hands up as Roman pointed his sword to him. “Give up, mortal.”

Sayge, feeling there was no other way out, grabbed onto the sword and pulled it out of his hand. Funnily enough, the sword slid right out of Roman’s grip! It was like he had no grip at all! “How about now?”

Roman widened his eyes and put his hands up. “Okay okay, I give up! I give up! Mercy, oh powerful one! Mercy!” Roman begged.

“Alright.” Sayge smiled and started to bow as cheers filled the room.

Shannon widened her eyes. “Saaaay...this gives me some ideas:” Shannon turned to Nico. “I am a costume designer, and I would like to use Roman as my costume dummy.”

Roman turned to her with his jaw dropped. “DUMMY?! WHO ARE yU CALLING DUMMY?!”

Shannon jumped and put her hands up. “I mean tester! My costume wearer! Or mannequin!” Shannon explained.

“Oh...Continue.” Roman told her.

“Okay…” Shannon hummed and looked back to Nico and Roman. “I would like to take Roman to be my mannequin for my business.” She explained. “Now, is Roman able to be gender neutral in any way?” Shannon asked.

“You can say that, yes. I can give him a more round chin and a different shaped nose, if you prefer.” Nico offered.

“Cause I would like to put dresses onto Roman as well.” Shannon explained.

“DRESSES?!” Roman gasped and clapped his hands. “HECK YES YOU CAN PUT A DRESS ON MY GORGEOUS BODY!” Roman made a sexy pose.

Shannon giggled. “Good! I’ll happily adopt Roman then.” Shannon told Nico.

“Wonderful!”

“HA! I got adopted before Patton!” Roman declared, as if being bought was a challenge. “Take that!”

Shannon handed over the money and started to explain to Roman all that she had planned for the next coming weeks for costumes and acting roles.

Meanwhile, a guy was looking at Logan and quizzing him. “How tall am I?” Andrew asked.

Logan looked at Andrew, looked him up and down and smiled. “You are 164 centimeters, or 5ft 4 inches.” Logan replied.

“Wow! And what is 150 x 38?” Andrew asked.

Logan smiled and turned his head a bit. “5700.”

Andrew grabbed out his calculator, and checked the answer. Sure enough, he was right. “That’s amazing!”

“Logan was a creation made to counteract the manipulative Janus. He knows plenty of facts, can educate many, and has never told a lie.” Nico told Andrew.

“Would you ever consider making Logan a teacher?” Andrew asked.

Nico widened his eyes. “I never thought of that!”

Logan turned to Andrew. “Can you make me a teacher?” Logan asked, sounding unusually eager.

“I can...It’ll take some steps, but it’s worth the try.” Andrew replied. “I think you would make a great teacher. Or a great professor!” Andrew told him.

Logan smiled at the thought.

Andrew soon walked over to the guy working in the back, listening to headphones. “Hey.” Andrew greeted.

The guy removed his earbuds. “Hi, how can I help you?” Virgil asked.

“Oh nothing. Nothing. What are you listening to?” Andrew asked.

“Wanna listen?” he asked.

“Sure!” Andrew replied.

Virgil and Andrew would be seen listening to music through the rest of the auction together. They would even wind up exchanging phone numbers so they could stay connected with each other! Talk about a match made in emo heaven!

Meanwhile, Patton was showing off his hairstyling skills to a lady with long, wavy hair. “And that’s how you do a big bow out of your hair!” Patton told them, showing her the hair-made bow with a mirror.

The girl smiled proudly and showed it off. “You did amazing!” The girl told him.

“Thank you Mela!” Patton replied. “Thanks for being my hair mannequin!” Patton told her.

“No problem!” Mela replied.

Suddenly, an army of kids came sprinting to Patton, knocking him over. “PAAAATTOOOON!” They shouted!

“Ohohoho myhyhyhy gohohoodnehehess! WOHOHOW!” Patton reacted.

“Really, Fizzy?” Mela asked, referring to one of the kids.

“YES!” Fizz replied. “Is Patton ticklish?” Fizz quickly asked as they clicked a few buttons.

Patton giggled and squirmed a bit, but widened his eyes as he felt his sensitivity increasing more and more! What in the world-

“Hey! Get off him! Be careful what you’re clicking!” Nico ordered.

“There’s arrows for sensitivity! Uuuup-” The kid kept clicking the up arrow, throwing Patton into laughter and hysterics. At first it felt like nothing. But now it felt like every hair and material on the kids’ skins and clothes were tickling every inch of his body! Patton quickly fell into hysterics.

“Aaaaaand doooowwwn!” The kid said, clicking the arrow button only a couple times. “But we all want Patty’s sensitivity UUUP!” They said happily.

Patton laughed and giggled hysterically as he was tickled and doggy piled by kids. “GUHUHUHUHUYS! PLEHEHEHEHEHEASE!” Patton begged.

“Off off off off off.” Nico ordered. “I will not have Patton get broken by a bunch of evil kids.”

“EEEVIL?!” Fizz smirked and casually walked away. As Nico started walking away, Fizz grabbed his foot and pulled, making Nico faceplant the ground! Nico squealed and yelled loudly for the kid to let go while Fizz whistled innocently and tickled his foot.

“AAAEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHE! KIHIHIHID WAHAHAHAHAIT!”

“Yeah! Cheer up old man!” Fizz teased.

“Tickle Patton!” a kid declared.

“Lee Patton!” Ashlee declared, having joined the group.

“Senit ivee’tee!” a toddler said.

Patton and Nico both bursted out laughing as kids started piling on the robot and the human, and started tickling, tickling, tickling! It was probably really embarrassing for Nico’s case. But for Patton, this was all part of the job. Kids just loved being silly and playful! And he was created perfectly for the kiddies!

Roman got a recording of the whole thing, and sent it to Virgil through text.

[How much you wanna bet Patton’s gonna be sold?]

Virgil looked down at his phone and chuckled while he texted back:

[I bet $10 bucks one of the kids parents buys them.]

...Sure enough, a daycare lady ended up purchasing Patton as a fellow worker at a local daycare! With a little bit of fixing, Patton was gonna be the greatest entertainer!

Sorry Ro!

#sanders sides & fnaf crossover #robot patton #robot logan #robot roman #robot janus #robot remus #roman and remus are twins

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