#i wish i had the words to properly express how this mf makes me feel but i simply do not | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

volleychumps · 4 years

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Heyy 💖🥺 I love ur work and I would cry if you did this: Karusuno boys reacting to their S/O coming back from a long summer vacation, please make this as fluffy as possible I want my heart to melt from the sugar 🥺💗

if your heart didn’t melt babes I didn’t succeed~

The Karasuno Boys Reacting to S/O Coming Home From a Long Vacation

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Daichi

- Simple baby is 100% the type to pretend like he wasn’t dying to see you after such a long time

- leans against the glass windows of the airport as your flight finally lands, heart drumming rapidly against his chest in contrast to the small, relaxed grin on his face as he counts down the minutes displayed above the terminal

- you knew that he was waiting for you, but that doesn’t stop him from scanning the crowds seriously- almost as if he thinks you would have forgotten that he was

- so when he sees you decked out in flight clothes, hair tied into a messy bun with a rolling suitcase behind you, the grin that overtakes his features matches the excitement in his heart as your head turns back and forth to catch a glimpse of him

- decides to wait for you to see him first, slipping his hands in his pockets and watching amusedly as you look around in confusion for his face

- shakes his head when it takes you a minute, the bright expression on your face when you finally meet his eyes making the captain jut his head to the side like come here you

- takes you in his arms tightly when your pace quickens in his direction, taking you off guard at how hard Dai held you to him as his grip grows impossibly tighter, the ache in his chest finally relieved when you laugh softly into his chest

- “I’m back, Dai.” “It feels unreal. But you’re here.”

- glides his fingers through the hair on the back of your scalp to look at you fondly before chuckling at your teary expression, lips finding your forehead

- “You’re finally here.”

Sugawara

- Definitely the type of boyfriend to have been spamming your phone throughout your vacation, making sure you were eating properly and taking care of yourself without him doing it for you

- lowkey it kind of felt like he never left, but you still missed seeing him in person

- So when the day came where you finally arrived, Suga arrived at the train station early in a white-collared shirt with the cuffs rolled to his forearms, anxious to see you as he continously scratches his cheek and runs a hand through his gray hair

- so when the train arrives almost an hour later, Suga is leaning against one of the poles with a small smirk on his features in front of the doors, holding a simple sheet of copy paper with your name on it

- heart does a backflip when you emerge passed the giggling onlookers at your boyfriend’s sign, watching your expression become one of exasperation before shaking your head and rushing into his now outstretched arms

- catches you by the waist, not ashamed to give you a little spin as a relieved laugh slips the setters lips, happy to finally get to see the tangible you as you pout up at him

- and lowkey make sure you didn’t lose any weight because dammit he told you to eat properly

- “Suga, I said no signs-” “Awe come on, you know I did it because you told me not to.”

- ignores your playful glare to cup your cheek gently, the other hand on your hip as he holds the sign in place with an easy grin before taking your head gently and tucking it into his neck

- “Miss me?” you giggle into his neck as Suga sighs, smiling into your hair as if he could finally relax, breathing out the tension in his chest

- “You have no idea, angel.”

Asahi

- Omg this poor baby kept telling you not to text him too much or even call because he wanted you to enjoy yourself on your vacation without worrying about him

- so you did what he asked of you, albeit hesitantly, but in reality Asahi felt more lonely without you than ever

- Has the day you return marked on his calendar, and when the day finally comes, he’s at the airport bright and early, bringing along one of his jackets and some snacks in case you were cold or hungry from your flight

- taps his foot in anticipation while waiting for you, jaw slackening when you exit your terminal with the sun in your hair and bounce in your step as he straightens immediately

- tightens his grip on his little bouquet of flowers he had brought, nervous smile crossing his features when you spot him

- Baby is a tall boi what can you expect

- Walks to meet you halfway, stumbling over his words at the sight of you after so long, in the flesh as you bounce up to him, glint in your eye as if you were meeting and falling in love with him all over again

- “H-Hey! How was your flight, I brought you some-”

- eyes widen when you let go of your things and throw your arms around his neck, tension in his arms relaxing as he wraps them tightly around your waist, one of his hands still holding the flowers as the sack of snacks and his hoodie falls to the floor

- whispers “I missed you, God I missed you.” over and over again into your shoulder as he melts into your embrace, honest words filling your ears as you giggle

- “Asahi. I’m here now, alright?” You whisper back, quiet enough so he can hear it, grinning like a maniac into his embrace

- Pulls back with a closed-eye smile, slight moisture in the corners of his eyes as he strokes your face with his thumb gently, leaning down to touch his forehead against yours

- “Welcome back.”

Nishinoya

- Lmao don’t get me started on this boy, he’ll want to be calling you via FaceTime every night during your time away, even if it’s just to say a quick goodnight to each other before you turn in

- If it’s different timezones this mf doesn’t care, he’ll wake up early just to wish you goodnight

- 100% will show up to the airport with a shirt that has your name on it, bonus points if that shirt has a picture of you on the back

- Doesn’t stop bouncing on the balls of his feet until your flight finally lands on schedule, and pushes his way to the front of the other people waiting while ignoring their strange looks when you emerge among the other passengers

- “Make way people, Y/N L/N is entering the vicinity.”

- lmfao the people waiting with him are like: yo is she famous is he a fanboy

- runs to meet you, and you laugh before letting go of your rolling luggage to run as well, definitely not expecting Nishinoya to hug you so tight he’s lifting you off the ground and spinning you in circles

- “Oh my god you’re real. I’m touching you.” “Noya...what are you wearing-:

- deadass tucks some hair behind your ear before kissing you, soaking in the familiar feel of you while not caring about the onlookers who were either passing with worry or smiles on their faces

- but you care lmao

- “Noya, not here!” “Now that’s not fair.”

- smirks at your blushing cheeks when he takes your face in his hands gently, brown eyes glinting as he brushes his nose with yours

- “All those months and not getting to kiss you? You better believe I’m about to get my fill now, babe.”

Tanaka

- This boy would absolutely be the most extra, more extra than Noya if you can believe it

- Is the type to claim he can’t come see you, but lowkey makes the arrangements with your family to actually be the one to show up when you’re least expecting it

- I kid you not Tanaka will pull up in this nice-ass car (probably borrowed, but who cares), shades on and everything while waiting for you outside the airport, leaning against the front of the vehicle like some hot-shot while holding this extra-ass sign for you

- so when you exit the airport looking for your parent’s car, imagine your surprise when Tanaka is leaning all cooly against this car you’ve never seen before, lifting his shades slightly when you approach him with an eyebrow quirked

- lmao a whole ass crowd gathered too your mans really outdid himself

- “You Y/N L/N?” “Babe, what are you doing?”

- scoffs, ignoring the racing in his heart before opening the car door for you, and you amusedly get in before Tanaka nods all mysterious-like to the crowd before getting in and driving off, the silence heavy between the two of you

- “So that was quite the greeting-” you’re cut off when he parks immediately, leaning over the console to take your face in his hands and kiss you like his life depended on it, hand entangling in your hair as you smile at the desperate movements like a man starved

- “All that just for me?” You whisper breathlessly as Tanaka’s eyes scan your face, pulling you into a tight hug over the console, and you promise you can hear him sniff as he mumbles against your shoulder

- mans really got out of his cool character real quick-

- “Thank you for coming back to me.”

Hinata

- Apricot-haired baby definitely talked Kageyama’s ear off on how much he missed you, and couldn’t wait for you to come back for the summer you were gone

- Probably led to Kageyama texting you in addition to your boyfriend’s sweet ones, begging you to cut your trip short so you could save his sanity

- But if I’m being completely real Hinata would probably over-sleep on the day you were set to arrive, waking up just as your train pulled into the station

- couldn’t sleep the night before because he was so excited awh baby

- And let me tell you this boy would run like the earth was cracking in his wake, jacket halfway on his body and probably the wrong shoe on each foot

- Deadass I’m not kidding, he made it to the station just as you were able to hail a taxi back to your home, seeing you from a distance and instantly zooming over to prevent you from getting in

- Shoves through a crowd of people, wanting nothing more than to see you, so he jumps high while calling your name out above the heads of onlooking passerbys before he finally catches your attention and breaks into yet another run

- “Y/N! I’m here, dammit-!” “Shou!”

- collapses into your arms, breathing heavily from that random burst of physical ability that was borderline inhuman as you laugh, lowering him to the floor as he lays in your lap, chest heaving

- “Shouyou, you ran through traffic to get here again, didn’t you-” “I...I still made it...didn’t I?”

- Takes a strand of your hair in his while looking up at you, breathless before chuckling through strained breaths as you worriedly cup his face

- “I hafta be the first one to see your pretty face, you know?”

Kageyama

- Awkward sweetheart definitely made it a point to text you maybe once a week during your vacation, simply asking you how your day was and if you knew when you were coming back from your cruise

- would shrug when people ask him if he missed you, saying a vague “I guess so” when in reality he would sit in the sand by the docks you had left in, just kind of staring out into the ocean while missing you heavily

- it even became a stop in his morning jog omg awhh

- so when he finally worked up the courage to send you the text asking when you were for sure arriving, he fist-pumped the air when you said it would be in the next few days, but the captain manning the ship wasn’t too sure and you might not be able to text him due to bad signal

- Still visited the docks every morning, worry growing when a week passed and you still couldn’t text him back

- On the day following a week, he’s thinking about how much he actually missed you, morning jog dwindling to a walk as he strolls in deep thought, hoping everything was okay

- but when he arrives there’s a boat docked, all passengers seeming to have left already except for a single girl sitting on the dock with her feet in the water, causing him to still in place just as the girl picks up her phone

- he feels a buzz in his pocket, and knows.

- And then he’s running again, the sound of his footsteps causing you to smile as you lift your feet in the water and back onto shore, standing to greet him before he grabs you by the shoulders

- “I was worried! So worried, and you...you couldn’t contact me, and...” “Tobio.”

- visibly relaxes at the way you said his name, simply hanging his head and tugging you tightly into his chest, afraid you would dissappear as you smile softly, feeling the blue-eyed boy quiver slightly in your embrace while tightening his hold on you

- “I’m back, Tobio. I’m back.”

Tsuksihima

- Prideful blondie is way too full of it to text you first during your time away from Japan, but you honestly had hardly any time to text which led to the emergence of Saltyshima at the lack of communication

- “Why don’t you just text Y/N, she’d probably love-” “She’s fine without me, so I should be fine without her.”

- lmao even he knows he doesn’t mean that

- so when you finally text him, he can’t help but grab his phone a little too quickly to see that you had sent him your arriving date, and he can’t help but scoff a little before sending a message he would regret: I’m not coming.

- resists the urge to hit his head against the wall regretfully when you reply back with oh:(

- so low in behold, imagine Tsukishima’s surprise when he finds himself at the train station, hands shoved deeply in his pockets on the day of the event he “wasn’t coming to”

- sighs when your stop pulls up, wondering if he could make this out to be some freak-show coincedence when the doors slide open and passengers file out, his hazel eyes latching onto your familiar head of hair immediately as his chest rises with an emotion he wish he could tame

- and then you walk past him, seemingly absorbed in your phone as Tsukishima blinks, literally not believeing his eyes before fighting the urge to call out to you when his phone buzzes

- I’m in Japan! Can’t wait to see you<3

- Sighs, leaving you on read as he watches you stall in place, signalling you had seen that action before he rolls his eyes, walking behind you while thinking Screw it.

- “Oi. Did you really just walk past me?” “Tsukki...?”

- Eyes widen when you tackle him into a tight hug, burying your face in his chest as you cry a little, Tsukishima staring down at you as if you were some kind of alien before a smirk overtakes his features

- “Someone missed me.” “Of course I did! A-and you said you weren’t coming...”

- Rolls his eyes as he wipes the moisture from your eyes, tilting your head up to meet his stare before he sighs, pulling you into him and resting his chin on top of your head before mumbling lowly

- “Ugh. Turns out I’m not fine without you, so be grateful.”

Yamaguchi

-really misses you, and is the type to look at photos of the two of you before he sleeps, wishing you would come home sooner while brushing off your inquiries off on whether he was doing fine without you

- “Trust me, she’ll love it.” “H-Hinata? Are you sure it’s not too much?”

- Takes his friend’s advice and purchases a big teddy bear, carrying the large stuffed animal with him in both hands as he embarrasedly looks away from all the strange looks he was getting in the airport upon his arrival

- I can’t he gets fuckin lost-

- deadass can’t find what terminal is yours despite your instructions, the large bear skewing his vision definitely not helping so he’s literally wandering the airport half-blind with this big ass teddy bear and a growing frustration of wanting to see you already

- Until he bumps into someone, like lmfao it was bound to happen sending them falling on their ass with a slight oomph

- “I’m so sorry! Are you..” “Way to say you knocked me off my feet, Tadashi.”

- apologizes profusely before setting the bear down, not caring of blocking the walkway before kneeling down at your side, still trying to comprehend that you were there in front of him, in the flesh

- on the bright side he was going the right way

- “Y/N...” as he gently reaches a hand out, retracting it slightly before it can brush against your skin “It feels like it’s been forever-”

- “It’s been months, dummy. Now will you please help me up so I can kiss your stupid freckled face?” as you clasp his hand, Yamaguchi’s eyes beginning to water when your familiar form fits perfectly in his as soon as you’re standing

- you embrace him tightly, the freckled boy realizing just how much he missed you before hugging you back, not realizing that tears were streaming freely down his cheeks like a broken dam as you smile, knowing all the times he brushed you off it was for your sake

- “I’m home, Tadashi.” as he sniffles, muffling the coming sobs into your hair before quivering gently, holding you even closer as if you would leave again

- “I’ve been waiting, Y/N.”

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General Works: @savemesteeb @kasandrafaye @yams046 @dreebbles @takemetovalhalla @therestless101 @dai-tsukki-desu @lifeisntjustblackandwhite @curiouslilbeast @wisepandaslimeland @deadontheinsidebut @lmkjimin @h0ngh0ngh0ng @theworldupthere @itz-tooru

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lifeofkaze · 3 years

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An Art of Balance #35

Orion Amari x MC

A/N: This is it, folks. The last one, the last chapter of this story. I am really emotional right now (and also this mf gave me a really hard time). Keep an eye out for the epilogue that will be uploaded directly after this! ENJOY THE FINALE 💛💛💛

Word Count: ~ 5.000

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Chapter 35: Wishing on a Silver Night

When Lizzie and Orion turned their backs on the hustle and bustle of the party, the air around them immediately grew colder. Now, away from the noise and the light, it took Lizzie’s eyes a moment to adjust to the light of the stars and the moon.

They were heading down the path leading around the Black Lake, walking further away from the castle. The air was rich with the sounds of the summer night; she could hear the crickets chirping and the water of the lake murmuring as it was slapping against the shore. Every so often, a dark, winged shadow would pass over their heads; probably owls from the nearby forest on their nightly hunt.

The air was mellow and smelled of grass and the still warm pebbles littered around the waterfront. Lizzie was loving everything about the peaceful atmosphere, feeling herself relax more and more with every passing moment.

She hadn’t realised just how much she had missed being in Orion’s presence. They were talking about everything and nothing; the match, the party, their friends, Skye’s father and why exactly that bloody House Cup had to be so heavy, it had taken Skye’s and Lizzie’s combined strength to lift it up properly.

Anyone other than Lizzie might have been surprised at Orion’s casual tone and how easy it was to make him laugh; but she knew that this was a side of him not many people were allowed to see. She remembered him telling her how he was using his detached demeanour to determine who was truly willing to listen to him on that night on the Astronomy Tower. He had trusted her enough to share this intimate piece of information about himself. Back then, her conscience had been weighing heavily on her with all of her lies still on her mind.

But there were no more lies left now, she had scraped up every single piece of dishonesty and gotten rid of it. All that was left were these moments right here and now.

Orion had let go of her hand some time ago; his arm was now resting draped across her shoulders and Lizzie was leaning ever so slightly against him. Being so close to him and actually being allowed to enjoy it still felt surreal; she had to constantly remind herself that there was no reason to have a bad conscience anymore.

She couldn’t help but smile broadly as Orion dipped his head back and laughed at something she had said, making her giggle herself all over again. Her cheeks already hurt from laughing but she had no intent of stopping anytime soon.

“You are absolutely right,” Orion chuckled. “If Murphy is not going to lose his mind about the impossible improbability of your last pass, I don’t think I ever knew him at all.” He glanced at her from out of the corners of his eyes. “But by now he should know, nothing is impossible when it comes to you.”

Lizzie laughed lightly. “You flatter me, Captain.”

“Honour where honour is due.”

They fell silent as they continued walking along the moonlit path. It didn’t feel like much talking was needed between them; they were just enjoying each other’s company..

As they moved further away from the castle and the people celebrating, Lizzie became increasingly aware of Orion’s hand on her shoulder. A touch of something else was starting to surface beneath the familiarity of Orion's presence. Lizzie’s heart was beating faster in her chest and the fluttery feeling that had arisen inside her stomach was spreading into every last corner of her body. She thought about adjusting her hand’s position on his back for a moment, but she didn't dare to move it, afraid of making him withdraw his arm.

Lizzie was more than surprised by her own shyness. It wasn’t a feeling she was particularly used to and through the tension that had started building between them during their continued silence, she was unsure on what to do next or whether she should be doing anything at all. The sheer thought of ruining the mood by doing something wrong was scaring her and made her go even quieter.

This wasn’t what she had expected to feel like when she had agreed to leave the party with Orion. With the conflict between her and Rowan being settled for good, Lizzie was free to do whatever she wanted and she was sure about one thing at least - this was exactly what she wanted, what she had wanted all along.

But the fact that there was nothing and no one keeping them apart anymore didn’t make her feel happy at all; instead, she suddenly felt very vulnerable. Her heart was lying out in the open and there was no Rowan serving as an excuse to hide behind anymore.

Noticing her shift in mood, Orion tilted his head to look at her.

“What are you thinking?”

Caught up in her musings, his question took her by surprise. “Sorry, what?”

“You have gone very quiet. Is something wrong?”

Embarrassed her thoughts had been showing that much, Lizzie felt herself blush.

“It’s nothing really, don’t worry,” she mumbled.

Orion stopped and let go of her, placing both of his hands on her shoulders instead; Lizzie was missing his warmth instantly.

“I have always known you to carry your heart on your sleeve, Chaser; until this year, that is. Now that you and Rowan have made your peace, I had hoped you would go back to not being afraid of your own thoughts anymore; you don’t have to hide when you’re with me.”

Although her heart was beating faster, Lizzie felt herself calm down. There was nothing but sincerity and affection in Orion’s eyes, coaxing an apologetic smile from her lips.

“It’s just that I’m not used to feeling so awkward around you.”

Slowly, to give her the time to move away should she choose to, Orion raised his hand to her face and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Lizzie’s breath hitched as his fingers brushed her cheek.

“We can always go back if you don't want this,” he told her quietly, his expression not giving his thoughts away.

Lizzie quickly shook her head. There was no place she’d rather be than right here with him. She felt a shiver running down her spine as his thumb caressed her cheek and she covered his hand with hers, his eyes growing soft as he took in her face.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”

For a moment, a memory resurfaced in the back of her mind: her and him on the dancefloor at the Three Broomsticks, Orion brushing her hair out of her face and telling her she was looking beautiful with her hair down.

Back then, she had felt confused and terrified, like a deer caught in the headlights. This time, however, she didn’t feel scared; it felt like the moment before jumping off a cliff without knowing how deep the water below might be. She held her breath as Orion’s eyes dropped to her lips and realised for just how long she had been ready to make this jump together with him.

Just as she was about to let go of her thoughts and lose herself in the moment, the approaching sound of hushed voices and subdued giggling cut through the air and had them look up in surprise.

Lizzie strained her eyes trying to make out who was coming up the path behind them. She heard Skye’s familiar laugh and raised her eyebrows in disbelief at the tall blonde figure accompanying her. What business had Rath and Skye going for a walk around the Black Lake together?

So far, the two girls hadn’t seen them and before she could react, Orion took her hand and pulled her off the pathway to where they were concealed by the shadow of a tree. He put a finger to his lips to indicate for her to be silent and Lizzie nodded. She was trying hard not to think about what Skye and Rath had just interrupted.

To calm herself down, she took a shaky breath and leaned a bit forward to better see. Skye and Rath had stopped next to a huge willow tree, apparently engaged in conversation. Lizzie could see Skye squaring her shoulders and raising her chin, but to her surprise, Rath didn’t snap back at whatever she might have said; on the contrary, the deep, warm timbre of her laugh was floating over to them.

A moment later, she had pushed Skye against the trunk of the tree; Skye’s hands vanished in her blonde mane of hair as the two girls Lizzie had always thought detested each other started making out right in front of their eyes.

Not believing what she was seeing, Lizzie’s jaw dropped to the ground. She was speechless for a moment before a giggle escaped her mouth. Trying not to laugh out loud, she clapped a hand over her mouth, her whole frame shaking from the effort to remain silent.

Grinning broadly himself, Orion nudged her and shook his head. He leaned over to her and even through her laughing Lizzie felt the fine hairs on her neck rising as he whispered into her ear.

“Even the most steadfast rivalry can turn into fondness, it seems.” Lizzie could hear the laughter in his voice and turned to look at him; his eyes were sparkling with laughter as he continued, “Maybe we should leave them to it.”

They silently left their hiding place behind; as soon as they were out of earshot, Lizzie couldn’t hold it in any longer and burst into laughter. There were a lot of things she would have expected from Skye but snogging her arch nemesis? The thought made Lizzie laugh even harder; she had to double over making Orion shake his head when she couldn’t stop. He couldn’t hide the grin on his own face, however.

Lizzie’s laughter being contagious, it quickly turned into a chuckle and then into a laugh of his own. The charged atmosphere between them had evaporated completely and made way for the same relaxed mood Lizzie was used to from Orion’s company. She half regretted losing the moment they’d had earlier, but was also half glad to tread on familiar ground again.

When she still couldn’t stop snickering, though, Orion put his hand on her back. He had regained his composure, but Lizzie could see how he was fighting to not start laughing again.

“You need to calm down,” he told her with laughter still ringing in his voice. Lizzie really tried, taking a deep and deliberate breath, but she was so far gone now that the mere thought of having to stop send her into a fit of giggles yet again; it was all too much for her, their almost-kiss, Skye and Rath of all people and the whole situation in itself were making Lizzie hysterically giddy.

Sensing words alone wouldn’t help, Orion lightly laid a finger on her lips.

“Hush now,” he said softly, “calm down.”

His gentle touch broke her out of her state immediately. The fluttery feeling spreading through her body was so intense it was close to overwhelming and she could feel her heart skip a beat.

It didn’t help much in the way of calming her down, but Lizzie had stopped laughing in any case. Her lips curved into a smile again - this time directed at Orion - and she rested her cheek against his chest as he pulled her closer.

Lizzie could feel the smooth pendant of his necklace against her skin and took another deep breath to calm her tingling nerves, the by now so familiar scent of ginger, patchouli and cilantro enveloping her. It transported her straight back to another night, up on the highest point of the castle, overlooking the Black Lake gleaming in the silver light of the moon. The same cool night air touching her skin had made her shudder back then the same as it did now, a stark contrast to the warmth of Orion’s arms around her.

At the memory of what had happened that night, all the tension between them was back. Lizzie lifted her head away from Orion’s chest and raised her eyes. She was surprised to see the flicker of uncertainty crossing Orion’s face; she wondered for a second if her otherwise so confident captain was just as uncertain about what to do as she was.

Lizzie knew he wouldn’t draw back if she simply stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. She contemplated doing it; no use pretending this wasn’t what she had forbidden herself to dream of ever since she had let him go. But yet, a shred of doubt remained, the tiniest hint of fear that something could go wrong and she might mess things up again.

Lizzie didn’t even know what she was so nervous about; after all, it wasn’t liked they hadn’t kissed before. But deep down, she could feel there was more to this moment. It wasn’t merely about a kiss, it was about something greater than that, the way things should have been from the beginning.

Before her emotions had the chance to overwhelm her, her eyes dropped from his face and she bit her lip. Her eyes wandering over their surroundings, she spotted a huge, old tree trunk lying on its side close to the shoreline; it was a popular place to lounge by the water during the day. To mask her blushing face, Lizzie broke free from Orion with a nervous laugh and walked over to it.

“What are you doing?” Orion wanted to know as he followed her; Lizzie could have sworn to hear the same mixture of frustration and relief in his voice that she was experiencing herself.

Feeling more secure in herself again, she flashed him a cheeky smile across her shoulder before hopping onto the fallen tree.

“Balancing,” she grinned down at him; standing on top of the tree, she was now almost a head taller than him.

He shook his head. “You really are one of a kind, Chaser.”

Lizzie extended her arms and balanced along the length of the tree, trying not to look back at him. She couldn’t help but curse herself inwardly for her cowardice; she had positively fled from Orion’s touch, but now she was thoroughly regretting giving in to her momentary panic. She was acting like a child; what was wrong with her?

Caught in her silent argument with herself, Lizzie didn’t watch where she was stepping. Her breath hitched as her foot slipped on the damp wood.

Out of reflex, Orion had extended his hand. “Be careful!”

Lizzie had already regained her balance, however. She stopped walking and looked at him with her eyebrows raised, a teasing smile playing about her lips.

“Do you worry about me falling?”

“One time per day is enough, don’t you think,” he answered with a soft smirk. He placed his hands on her hips to steady her. Lizzie put her hands on his shoulders to support her weight as she leaned slightly forward; standing on the log, she had to look down on him for a change.

“It is,” she agreed, her smile growing wider as her eyes found his. “But once again, you’re here to catch me.” She brushed Orion’s hair out of his face, raking her fingers through his dark curls.

He closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. Lizzie’s hand came to rest at the base of his neck, playing with the ends of his hair as he opened his eyes again.

“I’ll always be there to catch you.”

All of their surroundings, the sound of the water, the chirping of the crickets, even the cool air of the night seemed to fade into the background; Lizzie tried in vain not to drown in Orion’s deep, dark eyes as he pulled her closer.

Brushing all of her flaring nerves aside, Lizzie’s eyes fluttered close as she bent down and carefully, ever so gently, placed a kiss upon his lips. She felt him smile against her mouth as he kissed her back; her heart was close to bursting from the rush of adrenaline washing over her. She could feel the slight pressure of his hands on her hips as he supported her weight. His scent that she loved so much enveloped her, making her head spin and her knees weak. Finally being able to kiss him again felt like reaching the end of an endless journey, the finish line always in sight, yet just out of reach.

His grip on her hips tightened and Lizzie laughed against his lips as Orion lifted her off the tree trunk as if she weighed nothing, spun her around once and set her down onto the grass, all without breaking their kiss. She felt drunk on him and his touch, as if she was flying again, just like she had felt in his arms back on the Quidditch pitch.

When they eventually had to break apart for air and their eyes met again, Lizzie’s mouth curved into the softest smile; her hand went to his face and cupped his cheek, the rough stubble of his beard scratching her palm ever so slightly. He leaned into her touch for a moment; his eyes were closed and Lizzie could tell by the smile on his lips how much he was savouring her touch. After a moment, he opened them again and leaned his forehead against hers, his eyes not leaving hers even for a second.

“I missed you.”

His barely audible confession sent a new set of shivers running up and down her spine.

“I missed you, too,” she whispered back, just in time before he kissed her again, his hands now leaving her hips and pulling her into his arms completely.

Lizzie let herself fall into his touch, forgetting everything around her. She couldn’t believe this was real, this was really happening; and what was more, she didn’t have to feel guilty anymore. The immense relief that was mixing with her happiness was so strong, it brought tears into her eyes.

Sensing her shift in mood, Orion broke away from her, his eyes flickering over her face with worry.

“What’s the matter?”

Lizzie shook her head silently, not wanting to ruin the moment by crying. “Do you know how good it feels to not have to hide anymore?” she whispered and buried her face against his chest out of fear of getting overwhelmed by her emotions.

Orion gave her that moment to herself, cradling her head and stroking her hair until she felt her emotions calm down again. Where she would have felt embarrassed before, now she was thankful Orion understood; come to think of it, he always had.

“Come on,” he took her by the hand and led her past the old tree to another big willow up ahead. Lizzie recognised it immediately; it was the same place she and Skye had watched Orion doing yoga a week ago; it felt like an entire lifetime had passed since then. She knew it was one of his favourite places to spend his time and smiled to herself that he was willing to share yet another spot so close to his heart with her.

They walked to the shore and sat down into the grass. Lizzie winced when she felt the cold seep into her as she put her palms onto the dewy ground. Orion didn’t seem to mind in the slightest; he had already laid down onto his back, one of his arms behind his head and was watching the starry sky above them. Hesitating for a moment, Lizzie sighed inwardly and joined him, trying to ignore the reluctance she felt at the cold grass under her back. Orion pulled her over to him so she could rest her head against his shoulder, the ends of his hair tickling her face.

Even despite the cold entering her body from where it connected with the ground, Lizzie relaxed and enjoyed the peaceful atmosphere. The stars above them were crystal clear; maybe not looking as close as on top of the Astronomy Tower, but the sky seemed to be wider out here, like an ocean of inky darkness and sparkling stars. She could see all the different constellations, her eyes tracing the familiar patterns as they wandered over the canopy above them.

Orion was twisting the ends of her ponytail around his fingers and watching her smile to herself. “Care to enlighten me as to what is making you smile?”

Lizzie chuckled. “I just thought that now I don’t have to pretend to not know my stars anymore.”

Orion hummed in response. “You never had to in the first place.”

They fell silent again, just taking in the night sky and enjoying each other’s company. Lizzie could feel Orion’s heart beat inside his chest and placed her hand on the corresponding spot, prompting him to press a kiss against her hair.

However, as she let her mind wander, there was one thought that kept coming back to her over and over again. The picture of her best friend being pinned between a tree and what Lizzie had always assumed was the person she liked least in the whole school kept popping up in front of her inner eye. She couldn’t help but start laughing again.

“I still refuse to believe it,” she chuckled, the sound of her voice seeming unnaturally loud in between the soft noises of the night around them. “Skye and Rath, of all people! I never even saw that coming.”

Lizzie could hear the smile in Orion’s voice even without looking at him. “It’s the most natural thing for any force in this world to strive for balance.” Lizzie could feel the tips of his fingers lightly stroking her hair as he continued. “If I have learned one thing this year, it’s that opposites do attract each other.”

When he saw that Lizzie was still grinning at the thought, he chuckled silently. “You’ll never let Skye hear the end of it, right?”

She had to laugh at his words. “You know me.”

Orion hummed in response. “Despite everything, I like to believe that I do.” Lizzie felt him shift his position as he propped himself up on his elbows. “But still, there is grace in not pursuing someone’s weakness when it is exposed to us; try to have mercy on her.”

Lizzie’s eyes sparkled with mischief as she looked up at him. “Is that an order, Captain?”

His serene expression changed, a playful grin forming on his face. “Asking your team captain? Yes. Asking just me? Absolutely not.”

Lizzie sat up into a sitting position. “I’m very glad to hear that,” she chuckled. “I mean, we’re talking about Rath! Erika Skye-cannot-get-a-grip-when-she’s-around Rath. In a thousand years I wouldn’t have seen that coming; I am shaken!”

“So much is apparent.”

“Aren’t you surprised at all?”

Orion shrugged. “If you try to master the art of accepting anything the universe bestows on you, you are seldomly surprised.” Upon seeing Lizzie’s sceptical look he added, “But maybe a little bit.”

Lizzie tilted her head to the side. “Nothing ever seems to really shake you, does it?”

Orion’s eyes dropped from her face and wandered over the lake lying peacefully in front of them. His brow furrowed as he contemplated her question.

“I wouldn’t put it that way,” he answered quietly after a moment. “You getting hit by that Bludger today did shake me to the core.” He ran his hand through his hair, distress flickering over his face at the memory. “Seeing you hanging on the side of that tower completely threw me off course for a moment.”

He had sat up as well, pulling Lizzie against him so she could rest her head against his chest once more. He still didn’t look her in the eyes when he continued, but he reached for her hand, intertwining their fingers. “That’s what you’ve been doing for the whole year, to be honest; throwing me off balance. No one makes it harder for me to focus than you.”

His words were spoken so softly and with such open vulnerability ringing behind them, it took Lizzie’s breath away. Feeling her own emotions well up inside her, she snuggled closer to him, the beat of his heart grounding her again.

She smiled to herself as she looked at their joined hands. “It’s been a strange year for sure.”

Orion laughed. “I told you the fifth year is a singular experience, remember?”

“And right you were.” Her smile was fading as she continued. “I’m sorry for all the bad decisions I’ve made this year. All the pain I caused…” She sighed. “ I made a lot of mistakes.”

“Don’t be,” he told her with a slight shaking of his head. He let go of her hand again, placing his hand on her cheek once more, his thumb gently brushing over the corner of her mouth. “Every step that we’re taking and every decision we’re making lead us to where we need to be. Everything you did this year has brought you to this moment right here, hasn’t it?” His eyes were swimming with emotions as he took in every inch of her face. “I wouldn’t want to change that for anything.”

He tilted his head and pulled her closer as he kissed her again, making the butterflies in Lizzie’s stomach swarm all over again. She reached up to place her hand on his neck, but when her fingers touched his warm skin, she felt his shoulders tense.

“Your hands are icy,” he murmured against her lips.

Lizzie instantly drew back and felt herself blushing; even though she had been leaning against Orion for most of the time, she had started to grow colder by the minute.

Orion took one of her hands between his, the contrast between his warm skin and her cold one making her shiver. “You should have said something,” he muttered.

“I’m fine,” Lizzie reassured him, a smile stealing onto her face as Orion placed a kiss on the back of her hand. “I just don’t want this moment to end; I wish it was forever.”

“In some ways, every moment is forever,” Orion smiled back at her before kissing her forehead. “You just need to hold on to what is dear to you.”

Leaning into his touch, Lizzie closed her eyes, trying to memorise the sounds of the lake and the woods surrounding them, the scent of Orion’s hair and the feeling of his fingers absentmindedly brushing over her spine. It was true; she wished she could hold onto this moment and never let it go again.

Lost in her thoughts, she traced her fingers over one of the small woven bracelets Orion was wearing around his wrist, her eyes following the intricate pattern of the soft leather strands.

“What’s going to happen now?” she asked quietly, deliberately leaving her question open to his interpretation.

“Whatever you want to happen,” Orion answered with a sincere smile. He caught her icy fingers that were still playing with his bracelet and pulled her up from the damp grass as he stood up.

“But for now, I suggest we go back and get you near the fire.”

Lizzie felt a touch of sadness at the thought of leaving their place underneath the stars; it was like waking up from a dream to return to the real world. But by now, despite her best efforts, her teeth had started chattering from the cold, the exhaustion of the day and slowly coming down from the continuous adrenaline high she had been on since she had set foot onto the Quidditch pitch. She was glad for Orion’s arm around her shoulders as they were walking back to where they had come from.

When the light of the bonfire and the unmistakable voice of their victory party came in sight again, Lizzie slowed her steps until she came to a halt. Orion turned his head and looked at her questioningly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Lizzie mumbled, trying to put her feelings into words. “Everything just feels so surreal all of a sudden.”

Orion hummed in response. “Do you want me to let go?”

“No,” Lizzie reassured him hurriedly, “please don’t.”

She reached for his hand still lying on her shoulder to make sure it stayed right where it was. “This is what I want.”

He turned to her and raised her chin with his hand as his eyes found hers. “That’s fortunate, because no matter what the universe has planned for us, I don’t intend to let you go anytime soon.”

Lizzie smiled as she felt his lips brushing against the corners of her mouth before he pulled her into his arms and held her close. A sense of overwhelming happiness took hold of her as she buried her face against his chest.

They smiled at each other one last time before Lizzie reached for Orion’s hand and pulled him back to where she could already see their friends celebrating up ahead.

This was how it should have been all along.

She knew this was exactly what she wanted, what she had wanted for so long she still couldn’t quite believe that Orion was now here by her side.

He was right; regretting what was in the past was futile when every step along the way had led them to this point, this moment, her hand resting in his as they stepped out of the darkness into the light.

Everything about this felt right.

It was perfect.

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #quidditch #orion amari #lizzie jameson #aob #art of balance #the quidditch squad #thank god finally #we're there #what a fluff monster #now on to the epilogue before I start crying

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mindnumbing-brain-candy · 3 years

Text

This is gonna be massive dumb thing to read. Self rant. Please feel free to ignore. I just want to digest and process. Some may get TMI.

Last week, I found out an old friend of mine was on Snapchat. I have known this boy, literally, since 1999. We were in the same class, and I had a massive fat crush on this boy. And he was with the few boys to truly treat me right. He never looked at my breasts. He was so kind. Long story short we dated for a short while and we've been messy since. We fall in and out of touch, and we play around with each other but we haven't actually discussed dating. So I added him. Let's call him... Hermes.

Took ten minutes to proposition me. (And also he's gotten so much hotter. Like. Oh my fucking saints this is ridiculous) so. Not sure how I feel about that.

Moving on with the story.

Thursday last I was so ill my pansy ass was honestly vocalizing in pain. I was thinking I would rather die. Now accepting prayers for a quick and painless death. Seriously. I ended up retching about 25oz of bile in 12 hours - and I know this because I used an empty 52oz jug of juice as my puke bucket because I was immobile. Between Thursday and Saturday I had five unsalted saltines and that has been me only solid food I had. So everything has been liquid coming out. I went through hell.

So, I didn't make lunches for work.

I get to work this morning and I am casually ranting to a few of my friends on Snapchat I basically say "so I didn't make lunch, (here's an old school ADHD fueled AN, I'm going back to add more back story for cohesion here) and I shouldn't order take out, but I don't want to go to the grocery next door. The man there makes me uncomfortable.

The man makes me uncomfortable because he asks me things like, so you work next door? What days do you work? What are your days off? Where do you live? Do you live alone? It is just so painfully obvious that this man is showing interest in me but also won't make a move because I will turn him down. I wish that I would be treated like a computer. Stop interacting with me. Just ring me up for my things. That's all I want.

I tell Hermes.

That motherfucker responds with:

"Not everyone can articulate themselves properly when they see something they like. I’m not discounting your experience or anything... I just think some people are weird and haven’t been socialized enough to know what to do. Probably why some people are likely to remain alone, sadly."

"But everyone feels the urge to be loved. Some just can’t express themselves in a way that would net them results."

And uh. Did anybody else notice the fact that he literally used the word something up there? But he literally objectified me into an object there?

Did he really just tell me that I needed to give a creepy-person-who-isn't-respecting-my-gray-rock-red-flag signals a break?

Him: God I’m still so disoriented from just waking up a bit ago that I almost left the house without socks on... but noticed when I went to put my shoes on 😂

Me: So is the disorientation the reason why you'd use the word some*thing* when referring to a person hitting on someone else? Because it's a little weird that I'm literally an object in that sentence. 😝

Him: The unfortunate thing about words is people can receive them completely independently of their intended meaning

Him: I probably meant to say someone

Him: Don’t worry you’re a whole person to me

I going to baby rant where I talk about how it can be quite upsetting to me when a stranger hits on me knowing literally nothing about me except what I look like. (This also makes me wonder if maybe possibly I'm demisexual? Doesn't seem right but honestly with how upset I can get with strangers, fucking maybe)

Motherfucker: Isn’t that kind of how that process works tho? We hit on people when we don’t know anything about them and only have their appearance to go off?

Mf: Not like at first glance “you look like a girl who enjoys fine literature, heres my number."

Mf: I mean I guess that could happen... lol

#demi?#the sluttiest demi?#sickness #tmi #will no one ever love me as a human? ugh #hermes

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ktaebwi · 6 years

Text

Dispatch ‘Dicon’ Magazine - BTS Issue (Full Translation)

KRN - ENG © ktaebwi Do not use for commercial purpose. Credit properly when reposting & re-translating.

Download PDF: MF

“People around me are very proud of me. They tell me “BTS indeed”, “You’re BTS” a lot. All of these are thanks to ARMYs.” (V)

“I want to be someone’s pillar of support*, I want to be your eternal singer. So I can’t lose you guys. If you go further away, I’ll pull you closer. I don’t know how to do it or if it works or not, but I’ll strive to not let go of you. Again, thank you and I love you.” (Jungkook)

(*literally “big person”, “great man”)

“When I look at ARMYs supporting me from backstage, when I look at us performing on stage, when you’re happy listening to me singing, I feel the biggest happiness.” (Jimin)

“Let’s not get weary and go together for a long time. Because we won’t even after 10 or 20 years.” (Suga)

“I’ll prove it again and again. Trust and follow me.” (Suga)

“If our music can be even a little source of help in your life, your dream, then our existence is worth it. In the future, there’ll surely be pain and trials, but I know well that there are many people who believe in us and like us. So we won’t be hurt when it pains us, we won’t be sad when it upsets us, we won’t fear when it scares us. This is how BTS will be.” (RM)

“Bloom like a rose, flutter like a cherry blossom, fall like a morning glory.” (J-hope)

“Only you need to know how hard you work.” (Jin)

“I’m your fans too. A fan who silently supports the loneliness, the battles and the life you’re going through. I send you my letters written with music and notes from behind the stage and at my studio. Hope you’ll read that sound that is me missing you.” (RM)

BTS, road to the sea

“Someone says my spoon is dirty” <MIC Drop>

They weren’t dirt spoons at first. Dirt, scattered by prejudice, covered them.

(*In the spoon class theory, dirt spoon is considered the lowest class in the society)

The rapper title is a luxury to you guys <We Are Bulletproof Pt.2> You have no power, I know you must have done something shady <Two! Three!> Small company’s idols with nothing special was my second name <Sea>

Suga said, “I didn’t want to get hurt, because it means losing to prejudice. I didn’t want to be upset.” The dirt spoons’ voices were heard. Mockery started. They didn’t throw it away, they buried it deep. They then met ignorance. They didn’t spit it out, they engulfed it. Ridicule poured down. They stood up against it with blood, sweat and tears. They are BTS.

LA November 2017, AMAs. The Chainsmokers introduced the 16th performance. The second-to-last performance, right before the ending.

“We are going to announce next performer. They are international superstar. Here’s BTS, which is having huge fan over here.”

Mnet M COUNTDOWN, June 13th 2013. BTS appeared. Their debut single was ‘No More Dream’, but they could no longer dream. Reality was reality. The company’s head, Bang Shihyuk, was met with doubts. “Isn’t he a ballad composer?” The name BTS was ridiculed. “They’re going to become cannon fodders.” The company, Bighit, was taken pity on. “They will never make it with a company this small.” And their genre, hip hop, was the subject of mockery. “Idols doing hip hop? What kind of nonsense is that?” In fact, it was bitterness from the start. “I thought the sea was here but it turned out to be a desert”. The first desert they faced was the trainee days. Dicon’s first question, too, is about their trainee days.

(Dicon) Seven members came together. No, seven dreams came together.

RM: I wanted to tell people my stories, with my voice, in front of many people. This was the start of my dream.

SUGA: Billboard, AMA... None of them was on my wishlist. It was too far away. It was a goal impossible to achieve. At that time, everything I ever dreamed of was for many people to listen to my music.

JUNGKOOK: Nothing was certain. Those days were so vague. I didn’t even know how to dream. The future? I only looked forward and ran.

V: Just becoming a trainee made me so happy already. Learning was fun. I could even dance every day. I spent my days working hard. At that time, the present was more important to me than an unseen future.

JIN: My dream was to hold a concert. I wanted to become one with our fans through our songs.

JIMIN: Meeting senior singers felt amazing to me. I wanted to become like them. They were so awesome.

J-HOPE: My goals were always clear. To stand on stage, to become the best, but first, it was to survive. Trainee days were a continuous survival game. If one comes in, another drops out. I had to endure in between. But...

But the ideal was the sky and reality was the ground. It wasn’t easy, like what their song said.

I thought the sea was here but it turned out to be a desert Small company’s idols with nothing special was my second name Countless of times edited out from broadcasts Being someone’s fill-in was our dream Some people said our company was small so we wouldn’t make it <Sea>

J-HOPE: It wasn’t easy having to part ways with my fellow trainee friends. They were like my family. That reality pained me so much.

RM: There were times I felt unsure about my future. Like my life is not +, nor it is 0, it’s just −... The thought that ‘oh, we’re still preparing only’ tired me out.

JIMIN: When I saw a wall showing up in front of my eyes, it felt like no matter how much I do I still couldn’t work it out? The wall of reality was higher than I thought. But still, I had no thought of giving up.

JIN: I started learning the choreography properly in preparation for the debut. I felt distressed because it didn’t turn out the way I wanted. I kept getting scolded too.

JUNGKOOK: At that time we went through an enormous amount of practice, to the point that it was hard to handle it. But after we debuted, I felt like, like I’m a frog in the well*? I blamed myself that I was lacking too much.

V: For me, dancing was fun. No matter how hard practicing was , it’s something I like so I could endure. If anything, it was having to live away from my parents that was hard for me. I’ve been living away from them for a long time so I miss them.

SUGA: The cheapest meal they have near the company costed 6,000 won ($5.59). A 300,000 won allowance was nowhere near enough to live for a month. I took up a delivery part-time job alongside MIDI lessons. I had a car accident then. My shoulders were badly injured. I thought of giving up but... The members stopped me from leaving. The company also waited for me.

Suga also express his agony at the time through rapping.

The root of my creations has tasted the world’s sweetness and bitterness Those days trying to sleep on the bathroom floor now become memories Grabbing my shoulders crushed in a car accident during a delivery part-time job and debuted In front of whom are you all pretending you have had it hard <The Last>

They had each other. They are each other’s strength. Thus, You Never Walk Alone. Seven members walked together, encouraging each other.

RM: I remember I once said ‘Shouldn’t we at least perform at Olympic Gymnastics Stadium once before we die?”.

JIN: Namjoon’s always like that. He holds each of us and shouts out fighting. It motivates us a lot. I like laughing together with our members. It’s the reason why I could endure.

J-HOPE: The seven of us were chosen. Since then, we only looked forward and ran. We trusted and relied on each other. We shed blood and sweat together. We decided to try no matter what result comes and motivated each other.

JIMIN: The members told me. ‘I really hope you would go together with us.’ That’s the power of the words. I was able to work even harder. I already had a goal in my mind that is to go together until the end, so I didn’t give up.

V: It was hard, of course. It was inevitable. But I wasn’t the only one who had it hard. None of us didn’t have it hard. That’s why I gained strength even more. We gained strength from looking at each other.

SUGA: That’s true. The members were the reason I could make it through those days. They are the best stimulant. When the members practiced, I composed songs. It was also when I wrote the beats for ‘Tomorrow’ and ‘Agust D’ (mixtape).

JUNGKOOK: It was the day of the showcase. After coming down from stage, i felt emotional. I wasn’t the only one who felt so. We hugged each other and cried. I remember that day.

These wings sprouted from pain but they head towards the light Even if it’s hard and painful, if I can fly, I will Will you hold my hands so that I will no longer be afraid Because if you and I are together, we can smile <A Supplementary Story: You Never Walk Alone>

June 12th 2013, they stood on stage for the first time as BTS. It was the birth of BTS. On the stage they desired so much, they rapped and ranced. They could endure even the wounds.

When I rap and dance on the stage that I desired so much, I feel that I’m still alive It was worth enduring the tiring and exhausting commute Because my people are watching me It was worth enduring even when my body hurts Because the cheers are surging in <Born Singer>

RM: I couldn’t think of anything. My thoughts were full of ‘I have to do well’, ‘I have to pull this off’, ‘I have to end this’, things that we planned. Our first stage ended like that. From the name, hairstyle, even the sunglasses, everything was a standing joke. Hurt? Maybe it’s because I tried to forget it, I don’t really remember it well now.

SUGA: When the response rushed in ‘Where did those kids come from?’, I was totally excited. I wasn’t really hurt by criticism. I heard a lot of it from before debut so...

J-HOPE: I only have good memories of the debut stage too. I got to stand on the stand I wished for so much. I still can’t forget that thrill. The cheers of people who didn’t know us still show up vividly in my mind. The problem was the next day. I guess I was too excited. I made a lot of mistakes during ‘Music Bank’ rehearsal. I remember being scolded a lot...

JIMIN: I didn’t have time to think about people’s stares and reactions. I thought if I work a little bit harder, I would get a little bit better. I practiced while monitoring.

JIN: I continued to observe even during other senior singers’ stages. And one more thing is, I envied of the support from (their) fans.

V: I don’t remember much the hurt I got back then. I already forgot everything. More than anything else, I was fascinated by the fact that I appeared on TV. I remember calling my grandmother and parents to ask if they had seen the music program.

JUNGKOOK: There was a lot of hate comments. But I have to admit, because I was lacking a lot then. If anything, I clenched my teeth and practiced even more days and nights. I would come to the practice room whenever I can.

What could be their next goal? They said it was “to survive”. In reality, they had to survive.

JIN: There was a lot of groups debuting around the same time as us. We couldn’t ease ourselves yet just because we made it to the stage. There were many times we didn’t get to perform the whole song too. Every time it happened, we felt really upset. We practiced even more desperately. We thought as long as we have the talent, we wouldn’t be pushed out.

SUGA: Competition at music programs was really fierce. We wanted to keep making music, so we wanted to stand on stage.

J-HOPE: I think it’s the same for every trainee. We were really desperate. Everyday, we thought that we had to survive on this stage.

RM: We had to show ourselves in a short time. We had to draw people’s attention. We were also well aware of the fact that there’s no next time. We had no choice but to prove ourselves.

JIMIN: It felt like tapping at the ground to go up? I couldn’t see anything in front me of. It wasn’t something possible with passion only. But still, the only thing I could do was to push myself endlessly. Like ‘this is no big deal’...

V: I met and part ways with many friends in my trainee days. I had to survive from there.

JUNGKOOK: I don’t know what kind of confidence I had. ‘I will become something’, ‘We will become something.’ I was certain.

If you can’t fly, run Today we will survive If you can’t run, walk Today we will survive If you can’t walk, crawl Even if you crawl, gear up <Not Today>

Their practice room stank of sweat. Their performances were excellent. Their rap was resonant. That’s how they stood out.

JIN: We were different from the start. It’s not our strategy to stand out, we only wanted to do music. More than anything,I trusted our members and followed our company. I wasn’t afraid.

SUGA: Yes, we weren’t afraid, but people were afraid of us.

RM: I have been rapping ever since and I love music, so I believed I could deliver it better than anyone else. Looking back now, there are many times I did not but...

J-HOPE: We didn’t compare ourselves to other groups. We did our own things. It can be shocking (to other people), but I hoped that shock left as strong ‘impression’ to them.

JIMIN: We wanted to talk about the concerns teenagers had, because they were also ours. Hip hop was the best kind of music to showcase our thoughts.

V: I believed our strength is that we’re different from others.

JUNGKOOK: At that time, my top goal was the team. I couldn’t cause trouble to them. My ultimate task was to do good at my role.

Damn hip hop pride, idol rapper? Cut that bullshit They say my nature’s still that idol shit anyway and ignore me Give their principles to the dog and mock my name You all who only know to cloud the issue and ignore How you kill me? <BTS Cypher Pt.1>

BTS fought, with themselves. Like what V has said. “It’s important that we do well. I was certain that that way, we would be recognized.” In the end, the boys were right. Prejudice went away. Of course, it. was. no. coincidence. There was a reason.

RM: It didn’t change right away. It changed little by little. I think it’s from after ‘I NEED U’.

JIN: ‘MIC Drop’. A stage that many people said to be cool.

SUGA: ‘DNA’ stage at AMAs. It changed misunderstanding to understanding.

J-HOPE: There’s a song called ‘Born Singer’. It shows ourselves and our thoughts.

JIMIN: I recommend ‘Save ME’.

V: ‘MIC Drop’.

JUNGKOOK: ‘I NEED U’, ‘Dope’.

'Dicon' picked Jungkook's solo song 'Begin'. The background of this song itself is sincerity. Producer Bang Shihyuk asked them if they had any stress. Jungkook said, "I don't. I went (to Seoul) not knowing anything when I was only 15. It's what I really wanted to do so..." And he continued. "My only stress is that the hyungs I'm living with have to go through a hard time. I don't know about everything else. It pains me the most seeing them stressed. I hope they won't have to go through a hard time." He cried. Bang Shihyuk PD cried. J-hope cried. RM cried. Jin cried. Suga cried. V, Jimin too cried. And Jungkook sobbed.

That's how 'Begin' was born. Only, it wasn't just the beginning of Jungkook. Below are answers from the older members.

RM: I can never forget how Jungkook cried and said 'My stress is that the hyungs are stressed'. Jungkook doesn't usually express his emotions so it hit me even more.

JIN: It reminds me of how Jungkook cried in front of Bang Shihyuk PD. I felt sorry but also proud of him, and he also looked cute.

SUGA: We were stressed of course. Exhausted even. So every time I listen to 'Begin', I feel odd. But if I watch Jungkook's solo performance, I only have one though that he's cool.

J-HOPE: I'm proud of Jungkook. He tells his own story through his dance and song. It's a song that shows Jungkook's energy greatly.

V: I still remember what Jungkook said while crying. That story is reflected fully in the song.

JIMIN: We gain strength even more thanks to Jungkook. It's the 'Begin' of all of us.

When I was fifteen, I had nothing The world was too big and I was too small Now I can't even imagine How I used to have no scent and empty I pray Love you my brother Thanks to my brothers, I had feelings and became me <Begin>

The dark night passed and the morning shone bright. What could be their motivation? One certain thing is, it's time to raise thumbs up.

RM: Faith. I always try to show that my faith wasn't wrong. Maybe that's why I always attempt something, because I want to prove (my faith).

SUGA: Pride. Our fans like our music and wait for our stage. I wanted to give them pride.

JIMIN: I had a goal that I want to achieve. By my side, there are the members and the fans that are always together with me.

JIN: The reason we could endure through it is thanks to our fans. They gave us love so I couldn't disappoint them.

J-HOPE: That's correct. Our fans are our biggest motivation. When I look at fans who love our music, I feel that I'm still alive. Thanks to them, we could become who we are now.

V: Thus, 'ARMY'.

JUNGKOOK: I wanted to bring them good performances and music.

In the end, every story concludes with ARMY*. It's always like that. Every conversation with them ends with ARMY. Of course, the ending of 'Dicon' should be ARMY too, shouldn't it? "If we are together, even the desert becomes the sea" was especially heartfelt.

(*literally "gi seung jeon ARMY". "gi seung jeon gyeol" (起承轉結) is a kind of writing structure, with 起 representing "the introduction", 承 "the development", 轉 "the twist", 結 "the conclusion". "Gi seung jeon ARMY" is a word play based on "gi seung jeon gyeol", meaning it ends with ARMY.)

RM: 'Can the desert become the sea?' is my endless self-doubt and self-examination that I have been holding since predebut. It was the biggest answer to that question. I couldn't help tearing up knowing their love for me.

JIN: I wonder when they prepared it to move us this deeply. I was so thankful. My tears couldn't stop.

SUGA: Lately, I'm more easily moved to tears. Perhaps it's a sense of security, or fear, or happiness, or sorrow. These complex emotions just flood in.

J-HOPE: The fans' events never fail to give me chills. I know their devotion and sincerity, so when that energy's conveyed (through the events), the synergy explodes. They moved me greatly. I'm always thankful to them and love them.

JIMIN: If I could express how I felt then in words... I would be able to write a few books. That moment made me realize 'that's right, our fans are always by our side'. I'm so happy that I keep tearing up.

V: When I read the messages the fans send, I think of the hardships I went through. Sometimes it also makes me sad, the thought that we're finally seeing the light.

JUNGKOOK: I could feel everything on that stage. ARMY's breath, voices, ARMY's cheers, tears. I'm moved greatly every time I see the fans. I made a great decision becoming BTS...

So, letters to ARMY?

RM: I'm learning about the meaning of 'us'. It's like there's no longer 'us', just the many moments of 'you' and 'me'. I want to learn about the true meaning of 'us', where we are truly together, with ARMYs. I hope each and every one of our members can mean 'us' in that sense to ARMYs. We may be living somewhere in the world, doing different things. But we are breathing together through music and performances. I want to comfort them through all the loneliness and solitude that humans can't help but embrace, and live in this world together. That's what I want to do.

JIN: Thanks to ARMY, my time at where they said to be the desert felt like I was at the sea. Thank you for making me happy. I love you.

SUGA: It feels like I’m flying so high. I see so much and so far away. I thought I would only feel happy above the clouds, but sometimes when I look down, I feel scared. I take courage from the fact that we’re flying together. I’m afraid of falling, but I’m not afraid of landing. Thank you for being with us. I’m forever grateful and love you.

J-HOPE: Thank you for always supporting and loving us. I’m happy to become your hope.

JIMIN: ARMYs. I believe you know how I feel when I look at you. I can take a step forward thanks to having you beside. I’ll work hard to show you more and give you bigger love. I love you.

V: I hope you won’t get hurt and your every day will be filled with happiness only. I really love you.

JUNGKOOK: I’ll always be here. ARMY can come to see us whenever you miss us. And you can leave whenever you have to leave, or whenever you want to. But please remember this one thing only. I’ll always be here.

Thank you, for letting me be me For letting me fly For giving me wings For folding up the me that's once wrinkled For breaking the me that once felt suffocated For waking the me that once lived in only dreams When I think of you, my sky clears up So I throw away all my sorrow Thank you, for becoming 'us' <Save ME>

To 'Dispatch', it's not the end until it wraps up. The same for 'Dicon'. This page hasn't end yet. There's no room for doubt when it comes to BTS. Like The Chainsmokers said, they're ISu. International Superstars. Should you be jealous of their success? No, failure brings experience. These spells by BTS are their encouragement dedicated to all challengers in the world.

RM: Sometimes we have to erase many things so we can fill them up again. I always chant 'do it' to myself. 'Believe in myself and just do it'. Not 'do well', but 'just do it'. It'll turn out well after.

J-HOPE: Believe in yourself and move forward. It's the first step to success.

JIN: I always chant 'I am the best' to myself. I believe in myself and support myself by thinking 'It's okay, I can do well'. You'll do well like magic.

SUGA: The world has never let us dream, nor has it ever taught us how to dream. They say it's your fault, but it's not. Don't blame yourself. It's okay to lean back when you're tired. If someone's tired, become their pillar of support. This is the reason why I started making music. I hope our music can become your little source of strength.

JIMIN: If you have a goal you really need to achieve, don't look back. Don't hesitate, give it a go first. If you have a path you want to follow, follow it. That way you won't regret.

V: You may fail, you may fall, you may despair. It's natural. Just don't give up no matter how much you fail, fall, despair. If the thought of wanting to give up crosses your mind, I hope you'd overcome it and stand up again. Even if you can't trust yourself, do it for the people that put their faith on you.

JUNGKOOK: Don't regret things in the past. First, look at the reality and think about what you can do. Arrange what you need to do in order and resolve one by one. At some point, you'll get what you wish for. We'll support you too. Don't feel tired.

Everybody say NO! There's no later Don't be trapped in someone else's dream We roll (we roll) We roll (we roll) We roll Everybody say NO! It's now or never You haven't tried anything yet <N.O>

Tomorrow, keep walking We are too young to stop Tomorrow, open the door Too many things in front of our eyes to close it Follow your dreams like breaker Even if it breaks down, oh better Follow your dreams like breaker Even if it falls apart, oh Don't turn back, never <Tomorrow>

“We stood up again. Before we knew it, we were already running. Awaiting us on that road was the dream of seven boys.”

“When ‘Begin’ was made, Jungkook told us in tears. ‘When I was a kid, I wanted to sing and dance. Seeing hyungs go through a hard time is the hardest for me.’ Hearing him say that, we all cried.” (2016)

“We weren’t tired because there were seven of us. No one stopped. Then came the debut day. Criticism flooded in before the cheers ended. It felt like dreams, passion, hard work were all powerless.”

Episode #1 “Being able to hold a concert itself is happiness.”

Who could ever guess what spectacular events were awaiting. Just one year ago, it was simple. Rap Monster shared, “Finally, we get to hold a concert at Gocheok dome. We will show you the best performance we can bring.” BTS was excited, and so was Jimin. Excited at the mere thought of standing on stage. “Being able to hold a concert itself is happiness. I’m practice to show you better performances.” Jungkook showed expectation. “I’m even more excited about this concert. We’re more relaxed compared to past tours. I think we’ll get to interact with fans through this stage. Suga was focused. “There’s a lot to pay attention to in the concert. We have to match to the smallest details. My goal is to wrap up without making any mistake.” No one could expect what grand events were waiting for them one year ago, even a year ago. They were just doing their best to complete the current tasks. And three months later, they flew to Las Vegas, where Billboard award ceremony was held.

Episode #2 "ARMY sent us here."

Billboard Music Awards. 'Top Social Artist' nominee. Their rival is pop star Justin Bieber. "They're going up against Bieber? Anyone can see Bieber would win for sure!" After all, Bieber took home trophies for this category the last 6 years.

Finally, Billboard award ceremony. "They're going up against Bieber? What about Bieber's fans?" Numerous fans surrounding the Magenta Carpet. They were shouting BTS' name. Blasted there was the song 'Fire' It was foretelling that they would win.

BTS was well aware, that the Billboard red carpet is the flower path fans laid for them. RM said, "I only think of fans of course. ARMYs made this 'Top Social Artist' award (possible) for us." Jin added in, "Yes, that's right. ARMY sent us here. We'll work harder. We'll continue to do our best in the future. Thank you." "I don't even know what surprise awaits anymore now. We made it here thanks to the support from ARMY. I wonder what is waiting for us ahead..." Yes. Like Jimin said, Billboard was the start for these international superstars.

Episode #3 “Actually, we are really nervous.”

May 21st 2017, V had a stomach ache. Finally, it was the day of BBMas. They were the first idol group to be nominated for ‘Top Social Artist’ category. At MGM Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada, V was nowhere to be seen. He showed up a little bit later. “Sorry, I had a stomach ache so I was late.” V’s image was (somewhat) chic and cool, so it was unfamiliar seeing him shy. But it was heartwarming. We asked if he was nervous. The members all said in chorus. “Actually, we are really nervous. We just pretend to be relaxed. We’re so nervous.” 2017 Billboard Music Awards red carpet, Jungkook was clutching his handkerchief tightly.

“(After debut) What we faced was indifference, cold shoulder, ridicule. Dreams couldn’t exist in the night of the desert. The road ended. We sat down, but we didn’t give up.”

Episode #4 "Hello."

If you ask about BTS' DNA (habits), we will unhesitatingly pick 'greetings'. Formula of greetings, commandment of greetings, providence of greetings, evidence of greetings...

First, 'formula' of greetings. J-hope asks "Have you eaten yet?". A totally untrendy (?) greeting. That's why it's even more affectionate. He takes care of even the youngest staff's meals.

'Commandment' of greetings. Take a look at V. On the last shooting day for DNA jacket photo, V left early due to another schedule. He asked the manager to greet for him through Kakaotalk. "I had to leave without getting to greet you. Thank you for your hard work." (From V)

Jimin knows the 'providence' of greetings. "Our fans really like the photos (Dispatch) took." So Dispatch worked harder to take better photos. Doesn't matter if it was a white lie or not.

RM showed his concern instead of greeting. "The waiting time's getting longer. You must be feeling bored right?" Jin showed up with his game console. "Can I sit here and play games for a bit?" He added. "Shall I explain this game to you?"

Suga composes music at night. His days and nights are reversed. Sometimes, he would off and suddenly wakes up. "There was a heavy traffic jam right?" He wasn't sleep talking. It's the evidence of greetings. Jungkook adds, "It must be tough for you having to come all the way here."

“We must cross the desert to reach the sea. We walk again to find another desert. We move forward, together.”

Episode #5 “LOVE YOURSELF 承 Her”

What BTS has to surpass, is BTS. So did they outdo themselves? September 2017, a month of continuous tough schedule. More than a week of time was spent to shoot the jacket photo and music video. They put their heart into every shot. On the last day, they attempted to film an one-take shot. It would show a continuous opening starting from V to J-hope, RM. Just one misstep, one second of losing focus and it would be an NG. The movements needed to go smoothly. Again, it was the last day of shooting. They couldn’t help but feel tired. But BTS laughed, thanks to the oldest and youngest member. The older, Jin, and the younger, Jungkook, chatted and teased each other, even showing slapstick gags. Laughters rang through the tiring day. ‘LOVE YOURSELF 承 Her’. BTS made it. They set records.

Episode #6 "We had the photo of our life at LA airport."

That photo was nowhere near a life shot. It was bare taken, out-focused due to being pushed by foreign fans. But J-hope and V gave thumbs up and added it was "the best photo". We were embarrassed. Calling a lucky shot 'the best photo', it was probably their way of thanking for covering their news at LA. We know that this is their kindness. BTS' kindness. It was their heartfelt words that made us drop our weapons, take off and throw away our 'bulletproof vests'.

Episode #7 “You will watch our performance right?”

“You will watch our performance right?”... What confidence they had. An AMAs performance on top of that. We asked their order. “When is your turn?” “We don’t know too.” They replied cheerfully as if it was of no importance. AMAs director wanted BTS to have a collaboration stage. Like the one Psy had with MC Hammer, they wanted BTS to perform with famous stars. But BTS politely declined. “The seven of us are the coolest on stage.” This is BTS’ pride. They have been together for seven years. They shed blood, sweat, tears, and the fruit they bore was the AMAs stage. The DNA that is matching steps just by looking into the eyes. America went wild. They were blown away by their synchronized choreography, charmed by their live singing. This was the start of international superstars.

T/N: - The quotes are from various sources: concert ending ments, album thanks to, Twitter posts,... not from this interview itself. - Episode #8 is about records BTS set with ‘LOVE YOURSELF 承 Her’, so I didn’t translate it.

#bts #bangtan #bts x dicon #translation #trans:interview

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