#i was thinking of going off of that idea we talked about @ itsuki still searching and maybe mayuri caught her on the verge of snooping? :-]

[chernozemic]

@yukikorogashi ∕ 📝

"Itsuki." Name was spoken with utmost sternness (he's not good with children, never has been and never will be.) and was soon accompanied by a sudden grab at the back of shirt's collar. Fingers curled without effort, clenching down in an instant yet, for the time being, remained still. That was, until-- "You're not supposed to be in here." --she's suddenly yanked back to once more find herself a few feet away from the Twelfth himself and, in contrast, out of the room she was once in.

#yukikorogashi #𝟎𝟎𝟕 · IN CHARACTER #𝟎𝟏𝟔 · VERSE FOUR: BABY HOLD YOUR HAND #beckowsky my love <3 thank u for liking for a starterr #i was thinking of going off of that idea we talked about @ itsuki still searching and maybe mayuri caught her on the verge of snooping? :-] #or anything else u'd like to finesse this into! :D

[amaya-chwan]

Therapy Game Restart Discussion: Who is Onodera?

Hello everyone! Hope you are all well~ ❤️💛💜 I've had a headscratcher of an ask/message regarding Onodera, so I figured I'll make it into one big post!

Before I begin this Q&A/discussion post (feel free to comment below if you have any thoughts), I have looked through past chapters to gather the information I will put into this post to support my predictions. Not all chapters are readily available for everyone at the moment as only one volume of TGR is out right now, so I shall put the chapter numbers for your future reference! ⚠️ Also, just a note! These opinions are my personal thoughts, conjectures, and opinions, so please don't think I am saying one idea or speculation is wrong--this is just how I see it, and of course I could very well be wrong! And I also am not fluent in Japanese, so I may have some translation errors!

⚠️ Also, a warning, this will be a long post! Keep reading if you're interested and please let me know your own thoughts!

First, in an earlier ask, I was directed to a translation group that said Onodera is a man. With the help of Google and Google Translate (because I don't understand/speak Spanish), I found that post (dated April this year) and the origin of the picture they used in that post. The image is from Hinohara-sensei's 13th August 2020 tweet here and is also below for reference:

Now, all I can remember from first seeing that image is "Woow, so pretty! A female character? A love rival? A threat? OH it's the infamous director they're all talking about???"

This image was released around the time chapter 8 was released, i.e. the first chapter we see Onodera in full.

Looking at the image again, I can see how Onodera could be seen as a female or a male. Onodera has long hair, yet no visible breasts. There is no evidence of an Adam's apple, but that could just be because of the turtleneck as part of their outfit. Furthermore, in chapter 13, we see a view of Onodera from behind. There are no "womanly curves" visible in this view of Onodera.

After searching some Japanese blogs, some fans also had the same thoughts: no breasts = possible male, the shape of the face etc. Here are the blogs I found: [1] [2] [3] but most of these are from around chapter 8.

Just about the breast argument: there are a lot of different shapes for breasts. I learnt that when working at a department store selling bras during university. It is possible that Onodera is really flat chested or just has very little breast tissue. Not sure if that's getting too technical now, ahah, but what I want to say is that the lack of breasts isn't a definite yes to Onodera being a man.

Hinohara-sensei also has not explicitly stated throughout TGR so far (ch1-13) that Onodera is male or female.

From chapters 8-12, Onodera is always referred to as 院長 (director) by Shizuma and the nurses at the clinic. No gender-specific pronouns have been used in the story nor by any characters to refer to Onodera when speaking so far (that I have read). So confirming Onodera's gender is just misleading at the present moment.

We do find out in chapter 9 that Onodera's first name is 昌 akira. Akira is a gender neutral name in Japan. It is often given to males, but it is not uncommon for females to have this name. Which, I think, is genius on Sensei's part. It leaves us all thinking!

Q: So Amaya-chwan, what do you think Onodera's gender is?

Just for me as I've been reading TGR the past 1.5 years, I see Onodera as a woman as I have been "encouraged" to see Onodera as one by the little subtleties in the story, and Minato sees Onodera as a female, so I probably am viewing Onodera in Minato's POV.

(Please keep reading on for more insights and answers to questions! Really, this post is long! 😅)

In chapter 9, Onodera's older brother, who is also Shizuma's university professor (and his last name is not Onodera), makes small talk with Shizuma regarding the staff at his placement:

Shizuma's professor says: By the way, Shizuma-kun, how've you been!? You haven't been bullied, have you!? // The female team here is scary, right~ You know, Nakajou-kun and I were in the same grade...

So here, I'm made to think Onodera's clinic is pretty much all female, including Onodera too.

Fun fact: His professor uses the suffix -kun for Nakajou-sensei, yet Nakajou-sensei is a female and -kun is commonly used for males these days. But, it is also used for females in very specific situations. I'm not too sure what the situations are, but I have heard them used for females before.

In the same chapter (9), while Shizuma is changing out of his scrubs in the men's locker (?) room, Onodera walks in. He is slightly flustered, and kindly reminds her that she's walked into the men's locker room. Her reaction is "Huh? Ahh..." So here, again, I am made to believe Onodera is female.

While no gender-specific pronouns have been used to address Onodera, Minato and Itsuki have referred to Onodera as a female in chapter 13.

The kanji for "female/woman" is 女. In these two images, Minato refers to Onodera as 上司の女 female superior, and from Minato's story, Itsuki hence calls her 職場の女の人 female from (Shizuma's) workplace. This is the only time Onodera has been referred to as a female.

⚠️ Just a note going forward in this discussion, I will now call Onodera "she/her" as that is what I believe Onodera's gender is at the present moment!

Now, I did get a second ask from an Anon! Here they are below with my responses:

This one is about what's behind Onodera. I think she's a pretty interesting character. I actually think she's a trans woman or a non-binary trans woman. Sensei has been dropping so many hints to that... The name her brother calls her might be her dead name. He complains about her hair and what their father would say. She's designed to have flat breasts, perhaps she's not under hormone therapy, perhaps her "trips" and "days off" have something to do with reassignment surgeries...

She most definitely is an interesting character. I wouldn't say Onodera being transgender is out of the realm of possibility because the story is still ongoing. But regarding her name, I don't know if I'd call it a dead name since it is gender neutral already. Perhaps the kanji for a male Akira name would be different to a female one though?

About the hair comment (ch10), I just thought it was unruly? I honestly didn't think too much of it! What I will add is that the kanji for hair (髪) is used, but the reading is あたま head. Not sure why just yet, so I'll just leave that here as some extra information for the moment.

Not sure what I really think about a) her flat-chestedness and b) her insanely long business trips yet! I figured a) might be a character design, and b) she really is a top-notch veterinarian so she's probably in high demand. But I could be completely off the mark!

Also, I don't know where to add this random bit in from the story, but in chapter 12, we find out that Onodera has been calling one of the staff the wrong name for more than 10 years now. Not sure if this new piece of info affects anything?

But again, that is a very interesting prediction/thought you have about Onodera, and I wouldn't say it's not possible!

She's kind of a female Minato, psychologicallly and in appearance, which brings some challenges. And one more thing that I think hints to that: "I'll make it so your body can never be satisfied by any woman", Minato says to Shizuma. As the last chapter leaves it at that, we don't know exactly what he is talking about. [spoiler?] I haven't seen the Japanese text yet to be sure if he's clear about topping Shizuma.

That was exactly my thought when she was first introduced! That's part of the reason why I think Minato sees her as a threat, especially when he saw her for the first time and was told she is a 美人beautiful person (both in chapter 12). She and Minato definitely share some characteristics, but I find she's a bit more socially-awkward than Minato given her background (Chapter 9 & 10).

For the dialogue, the Japanese lines and the most literal translations I can give are:

今から　静真くんを抱く From now, (I'll) hold/embrace you, Shizuma-kun.

どんな女に出会っても　絶対満足できない体にしてあげる No matter the women you encounter, I will make it so your body definitely cannot be satisfied (by any of them).

Hopefully we'll find out what Minato means by that exactly in the next chapter, which I hope comes to me this week!

But if that's what he's talking about, it's 1. poor Minato being transphobic (besides being biphobic towards his own boyfriend)* 2. poor Minato probably foreshadowing his own fall. If Onodera happens to be a woman with a d**k, she can do whatever Minato thinks a cis man only can do. That's not what will make Shizuma stay by his side. Shizuma will stay by his side because he loves Minato. And that's that. Debunks biphobic myths, debunks transphobic myths. *He's not a bad person, he's got issues

Okay, this is probably as straight-forward as I can say this, but I just want to say that I don't know enough about the issues faced by the LGBTQI+ community. My friends have kindly answered all my questions so far as I don't want to be ignorant or rude when learning more about my friends and the community. I don't want to give off the air that I'm assuming anything since I don't want any misunderstandings. And I am fully aware that I need to educate myself more regarding this!

So about Minato, I'm not completely sure what you mean by number 2. But he definitely has his share of trauma, insecurities, and fears regarding his relationship with Shizuma. Having Onodera as a threat in this story really helps drive Minato's growth. The story is titled Therapy Game Restart, so what I gather from the title is that Minato is going to face another fear/insecurity he has, something deeply-rooted in him, and it's going to get really heavy and complicated, but he will eventually get through it and it will help him heal and grow as a character, and hopefully strengthen his faith in his relationship with Shizuma.

So far, I believe this "fear" is carrying on from +Play More, that Shizuma can be whisked away by a female at any moment.

But yes, Minato has to realise for himself that his and Shizuma's love, relationship, and bond is strong enough for him to not worry about Shizuma leaving him so abruptly. He has to learn to trust in Shizuma more, and TGR is slowly revealing that, especially in chapter 13.

I'll stop here. I have already written long analyses on this series and I think about making them public at some point. But it would be nice to hear from you! Maybe I'm completely wrong in my interpretations! I'm really sorry for being so annoying and maybe using inappropriate language. I really didn't mean to bother you. But I never see anyone making these points. I just want to know if I'm thinking unreasonably...

I love reading different analyses, opinions, story predictions, the whole lot!! So please feel free to ask me or post your own ideas. It's always a welcome thing for me to discuss stories and learn new things! Don't be sorry that you're being a bother or annoying, because it's not a bother at all!

We're all allowed to have our own ideas and opinions about stories, and these ideas will change once something is canon in the story, and ultimately is something we will have to accept too.

So yeah, just my two cents. Thank you for being so patient with my response, dear Anon!

To anyone reading at this point, thank you for reading this far! ❤️💛💜

I shall see you in our next set of takeaways~ As always, stay safe and take care of yourselves and your loved ones! 💜

(2021-05-17: Speedy proofreading is done ahah! And yes, my brain is still so full of 山河令/Word of Honor right now, so I have been VERY distracted! Highly recommend this drama, guys! It's up for free on the official Youku Youtube page! Totally not an endorsement, but I love this drama! AHHHHH!! Gong Jun [Simon] be living on my mind rent free~)

#therapy game #therapy game restart #ikushima shizuma #shizuma ikushima #mito minato #minato mito #mito itsuki #itsuki mito #ikushima shouhei #shouhei ikushima #hinohara meguru #セラピーゲームリスタート #セラピーゲーム #生嶋静真 #三兎湊 #三兎樹 #生嶋翔平 #日ノ原巡 #小野寺 #小野寺昌 #onodera akira #akira onodera #who exactly is onodera #discussion post #amaya chwan answers #amaya-chwan answers

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Best of three.

So...the location on the website was here of all places?

Ah, it feels so good to come to Chinatown. It’s certainly been a long time!

*Sure enough, the group head out to Chinatown.

We’re not here for a vacation Nagito.

Of course, of course! I’m merely saying.

Ugh...I don’t like this place...

Why? What’s wrong with it?

Physically? Nothing. But it brings back some bad memories.

Ah, yes...of course...

What are you two talking about?

The Kuzuryu Clan once participated in a very large turf war here. The influence was still felt, and only dissipated with the tragedy being the bigger issue.

Yeah, so I just hope to god no one recognizes me. I wasn’t there, but someone might be able to tell.

I see...

Speaking of turf, we’re on the UUV’s turf right now. We can’t let on that we’re trying to catch Itsuki and Todoroki.

Yeah, good point. Start with small talk so that no one gets suspicious. Then when you see an opportunity to talk about the UUV, go for it.

Okay, then let’s split up into groups. By default I should go with Chiaki.

Peko and I will go together too.

Guess that leaves us two, huh Mahiru?

Fine. Let’s just get this over with.

Um. Hello there.

Old Civilian: Hm? Is everything ok sir?

Everything’s fine. I was just wondering, how did this town get so scenic?

Old Civilian: Scenic? How do you mean?

The buildings have a nice old school feel to them. It would be nice to take some photographs.

Old Civilian: Forgive me for saying this, but I don’t think that’s a very good idea.

Why not?

Old Civilian: If you start wandering around with a camera, people will get the wrong idea. They’ll think you’re a police officer or a spy.

A spy? What for?

Old Civilian: ...

*The old civilian turns his back and walks away, saying no more.

H-Hey!

Stop. Even if you caught up with her, she wouldn’t talk.

Dammit! Don’t tell me she’s in on it?

Well, as I said, the UUV are influential in this area.

To be honest, this doesn’t come as a surprise...

But...even the old people?

Um...hello there.

Little boy: Oh! Hi!

*Mahiru and Nagito approach a young boy.

Sorry to bother you young man...but you see...We’re having a little bit of a problem. Mind lending us a hand?

Little boy: Sure! Need help with directions!

In a sense...You see, we’re trying to look for some people called the UUV. Do you think you can point us in the direction?

Little boy: ...

Is everything ok?

Little boy: Sorry...I can’t...

Why not?

Little boy: It’s part of my 5 rules to stop me getting grounded. Alongside brush your teeth every morning and night, and always go to bed on time, she told me to never talk about the UUV to strangers.

That’s one of your rules!? It’s THAT important it doesn’t get out!?

Little boy: Waaah! This man’s scary!

*The Little boy runs off.

Curses!

Even the children are made to keep quiet...Just how much influence to the UUV have here?

...It might be best if you stay quiet Chiaki. We don’t want anyone getting freaked out by a voice in the phone.

Gotcha.

*Hajime and Chiaki approach a father and a child sitting outside a cafe.

Excuse me? I was hoping you could help me out.

*The father immediately lifts up his child and starts to walk away.

Excuse me? It’s very rude to just walk away when I’m talking to you.

Father: Oh I know. I just don’t care. You Future Foundation aren’t welcome here.

...You know I’m Future Foundation?

Father: It’s obvious. I don’t know what you want, but if you want information, I can tell you one thing.

And that is?

Father: That all of these people you see in this town were helped out, or are members of the UUV. No one is going to help you here, so you should get lost.

Helped? How?

*The father walks away.

Well, that went as well as I could’ve hoped.

How is their influence this strong, but they’ve been under the radar for so long?

*sigh* 

...

Wanna take a break?

Yeah...thankfully, I brought my console.

Yas!

*Everyone meets up after the end of the search.

We got nothing...

Neither did we...

Given how things are, I doubt we’re going to get anything either.

Yeah...even the old people and the children are in on it. They won’t talk either and they’re our two best bets...

*sigh*

*Hajime listens in while he plays Tekken with Chiaki on their virtual console.

{PLAYER 1 WINS!}

*sigh* You beat me again. That’s another loss today, on top of the last round and the searching.

Oh, quit beating yourself up. If they won’t talk, they won’t talk.

???: Um...excuse me? 

Huh?

*Everyone’s eyes look up to see the source of the voice.

...Um...You guys are Future Foundation, right?

Everyone’s been complaining about you. They were talking about how you wanted to find the UUV?

...

Future Foundation are dealing with a problem. We need the UUV’s assistance to deal with it. Can you tell us where we can find them?

(Nice save Nagito...)

Sorry, I can’t...but...

But?

Maybe...just maybe I could give you SOME information...?

Really!?

*Hajime stands up.

Yeah. I’m actually a member of the UUV, but I’m pretty new. Oh, the name’s Fujimori by the way. Ayumu Fujimori.

And like I said, I can give you some info. Not really a location but something else.

Ok...what’s the catch? I feel like there’s a condition we need to meet.

You’d be right.

See that game console there?

This?

*Hajime shows his game console to Ayumu.

I wanna play. I’ll give you the information that you want if you defeat me at that fighting game.

(Perfect!)

Alright then. You V me. I’ll be Player 1.

Alright. Sure. Don’t go easy on me.

If you insist.

*Ayumu sits down in Hajime’s spot as everyone looks over Ayumu’s shoulder at their Tekken match.

(This should be a cakewalk.)

{ROUND 1! FIGHT!}

Go on Chiaki. Crush it.

Alright, let’s-

Ah!?

...Hrngh!

*Ayumu suddenly pulls off an almost impossible combo with relative ease.

(N-No way! He’s actually super good!?)

Yrgh!

Chiaki, what’s-!?

*Chiaki’s character and Ayumu’s character clash and Ayumu is able to land more hits on Chiaki!

N-No way!

{KO! PLAYER 2 WINS!}

!!!??

!!!??

!!!??

!!!??

!!!??

...I...lost...!?

Yeah, I won! That was lucky. You’re not bad. What’s say we do best of three?

Hmph! Alright! (That might be the only way I can survive this! I have to bring it back now!)

(Chiaki...lost the first round?)

(How’s that even possible!?)

{ROUND 2! FIGHT!}

HMPH!

*This time, Chiaki is prepared for it. Ayumu starts the match off the same way.

(Come on...!)

{KO! PLAYER 1 WINS!}

Ah, I lost...

Good game though. This last one’s the kicker.

Right...

(Who the heck is this guy!?)

{FINAL ROUND! FIGHT!}

...!

...!

*Chiaki and Ayumu’s hands move so fast that it’s hard to see them.

Come ooon...

Come on Chiaki!

You can do it! Show that Ultimate Gamer talent!

...!

Grgh!

{KO! PLAYER 1 WINS!}

Ah! I lost!

PHEW!

(Oh thank god!)

*The match is unbelievably close. Chiaki is on almost 1HP by the time it ends.

Well...you won...And I’m a man of my word...

So you’ll talk?

Yeah...but first, let’s go somewhere more private.

*Ayumu gets to his feet and hands Hajime his console back. He beckons the group and they get ready to follow him.

What the hell happened there...!?

I...don’t know...I won, but...that was the most intense match I’ve ever had. I was about to lose...! Now I’m really tired...

How could you lose!? You’re the best gamer on the planet!

That’s what I thought too!

Did he use some sort of cheat code?

No, I would’ve noticed. I know all the cheat codes for this game. That first round he beat me entirely with his own skill. 

Sorry, you guys...mind if I just...

Zzzzz...

*Chiaki is completely drained of all her energy.

No...there’s no way...

Just...

...

Who the fuck IS this guy...?

#danganronpa survivor #danganronpa #danganronpa 2 #dr2 #hajime hinata #chiaki nanami #mahiru koizumi #nagito komaeda #fuyuhiko kuzuryu #peko pekoyama #danganrebirth voices #ayumu fujimori #misfortunes revenge arc

[musicprincess655]

One year later…

“Strike! Batter out!”

Mei doesn’t even bother to try to dodge when Itsuki attacks him in a hug. At least Itsuki doesn’t pick him up and swing him around. He’s certainly strong enough, but Mei has a cool image, and he doesn’t want to give that up.

They’re one and one in their championship series against the Giants. Which means if they can win the next game, like they just won this game, they’ll win their league. They’ll be in the All Japan series, and they’ll have a shot at standing at the top of the nation.

They’re so close.

“Nice ball,” Itsuki says. Mei lifts his mask, and strongly considers kissing him. He knows better, but still.

“Nice call,” Mei tells him. He settles for squeezing Itsuki’s shoulder, settles for the way Itsuki’s eyes go wide and pleased.

The moment breaks when the rest of their teammates reach the mound. Mei is hauled up into a hug, feet leaving the ground, and he loses track of where Itsuki is. He doesn’t have to work to redirect praise Itsuki’s way, though. The team has long since learned Itsuki is at least as responsible as Mei for their victories.

A team does not win or lose on the strength of the battery alone, but a strong battery can stabilize an entire team. Itsuki has always been a good catcher, but the addition of Mei, who has more precision than any other pitcher in Japanese pro ball and a repertoire to make it matter, makes him shine as he should, gives his quick mind the materials it needs to outthink batters and runners alike. They’re better together than they would be apart, more than the sum of their parts.

Now, the reporters don’t just talk about Sawamura’s rivalry with Furuya. They talk about both of the younger pitchers trying to keep up with Mei. Furuya with his power, Sawamura with his insane number of usable pitches, and Mei somehow the midpoint between them and stronger for it.

Mei volunteers to take the reporters after the game, as he usually does. He’s the charming one, the best at handling the press. Itsuki follows him out after Mei casts him a look. They had an impressive showing as a battery, and the reporters will want to hear from both of them, the ace and the captain.

“Narumiya-san!” Mei lets his public grin take over his face, the one the cameras just love. Itsuki is a little stiff next to him, but a year of being officially declared captain has gotten him much more used to the spotlight. “Anything to say about the game?”

“Everyone worked together to achieve that victory,” Mei says. “It belongs to the whole team, and hopefully we can pull off another one tomorrow.”

“Tadano-san, have you changed anything now that you’re captain?” another reporter asks.

“Not at all,” Itsuki replies. “This is the product of slow, steady work over the course of years. Teams aren’t built overnight, and it’s taken us a while to get ours to this stage. Sorry for keeping everyone waiting.”

“Then is your battery the difference?” the first reporter asks. “Everyone expected great things from you when Narumiya-san came back to Japan.”

“How can I refuse a compliment from such a lovely lady?” Mei says. When he was seventeen, flirting with the reporters made him seem precocious and arrogant, but as an adult, he comes off suave and charming. Itsuki nudges him, and Mei doesn’t turn to see the grin he’s suppressing, see him thinking dramatic, because if he does, they’ll both burst out laughing. “I didn’t make the difference alone. Like Itsuki said, everyone’s worked hard for years to be able to play like this. You’re just seeing the results now.”

“Is the strength of your battery based on the strength of your friendship?” a reporter in the back asks.

“It doesn’t hurt,” Mei says, when Itsuki freezes up. “Itsuki deserves something for putting up with me all these years, right?”

Everyone laughs at that, and when their coach shows up, Mei and Itsuki take the chance to escape back into the locker room.

“I’ll never understand how you can be so calm about questions like that,” Itsuki says. “It always feels like everyone knows, and they’re just waiting to expose us.”

Mei shrugs as he pulls his jacket out of his locker.

“You know I don’t really care, right?” he says. “If anyone wants to look, it’s not that hard to find out I like boys too, and I don’t care.”

“See, that I don’t understand,” Itsuki presses. “Aren’t you afraid of losing everything? Losing baseball?”

“I don’t think I would,” Mei says. “Especially not if we win that game tomorrow. At some point, a player is too good to lose. The team would have to throw in behind us.”

“You’re confident about that,” Itsuki says.

“You should be more confident than me,” Mei replies. “You’re the captain. They wouldn’t fire the captain, not after how much you’ve proved yourself.”

“I still don’t understand why you’re not more concerned,” Itsuki says. “Miyuki and Sawamura have been together and in the pro league for a lot longer than us, and they’re still keeping it quiet. Doesn’t that tell you something?”

“It tells me Kazuya’s a damn coward and always has been,” Mei says. “You’ve gotta admit, it’s pretty funny to see Sawamura deflect any time someone asks why they live together. I was a personal fan of the speech about manly bonds formed in the crucible of high school baseball, living and working together. It was very passionate.”

“I thought Miyuki was gonna pass out,” Itsuki says, but his mouth quirks up, because that interview had been funny. “You really think it’s just Miyuki?”

“I think Sawamura’s the kind of guy to shout about his love from the rooftops, but he’s not so stupid he won’t consider his partner,” Mei says. Itsuki gives him a strange look, but doesn’t say anything, so Mei lets it drop. Itsuki will tell him if it’s important.

They’ve gotten there. Enough that Mei can flirt harmlessly with reporters and it just makes Itsuki laugh, enough that they can take time to organize their thoughts before talking them all out. They spent a rough few months having to take an hour or more to have a heart to heart every time one of them had a thought, because Itsuki couldn’t train himself out of thinking Mei was hiding things and Mei couldn’t train himself out of overexplaining himself to avoid confusion. They probably would have gotten a lot farther a lot faster if they’d gone to someone else for help, especially someone professional, but they’d muddled through on their own, and even if it had been messy, even if it had involved a few arguments and one spectacular fight and late nights searching the internet for help and calling any friend that might have good advice, they’d gotten there eventually.

They’re still not perfect. Mei doesn’t think they ever will be. He’s not sure that’s how relationships work anyway, no happily ever after to whisk all the hard work away. Loving Itsuki is a choice, and the biggest mistake he made back in high school was pretending it is not. Making the choice every day is not unlike making the decision to forgive himself, and having to stick to that choice when he wakes up and when he goes to sleep and when it gets hard.

He’s never been happier to put the work in.

“Let’s go home,” Mei says, yawning. He’ll probably collapse the minute he hits the bed, and he doesn’t think Itsuki will be far behind him.

They’ve lived together long enough for Mei to know that, moving in just before this baseball season started. They’d originally toyed with the idea of just consolidating into one of their apartments, but in the end, neither could find a way to do that perfectly, so they’d found an entirely new place together, one that’s all their own.

That, more than anything, might be why some of Itsuki’s old fear is back. A close friendship is easy enough to pass over, especially between athletes, but living together is another thing entirely. It’s why Kazuya and Sawamura have been dodging rumors for years.

Mei meant it, though, when he said he doesn’t much care if someone does notice that they’re not just friends. He’s never been shy about the person he is, and he’s never changed it based on public pressure before. If he wasn’t respectful of the very clear boundary Itsuki has set on what he’s comfortable with the public knowing, Mei wouldn’t bother trying to deflect the questions at all.

Just as he predicted, Mei can feel himself drifting off to sleep the second he hits their bed, and he just registers Itsuki squirming under his arm before he’s out completely.

The next day, when they arrive at the stadium, Mei can’t stop shaking out his hands. He’s not nervous, doesn’t get fits of nerves like other players do, but this will be a hard game, and he can’t let himself get tense because of it.

The Giants didn’t have a very good showing last year, losing out to both the Swallows and the BayStars for a chance at the final stage, and they’ve clearly come back with a vengeance. They have the best record in the league this year, and the Swallows didn’t even make it, although they just barely lost out.

“Just like we always do?” Itsuki asks, pulling his mask over his face.

“Let’s crush them,” Mei says.

It’s a hard game, the hardest one they’ve had all season. For the first time, they have to go into an extra inning. Mei wonders if his coach anticipated this, though, because he’d had to sit through the first four innings, and now, as they head into a tenth, he’s still fresh enough to keep giving Itsuki his best.

The same can’t be said for the Giants’ pitcher. He’s been in since the first inning, and after the early lead the Giants had taken, he clearly didn’t expect to go into extra innings. He’s sloppy where Mei is still sharp, and in the end, Itsuki smacks a messy fastball clear out of the park.

They’re top of their league, and they’re playing in the Japan series.

This time, when Itsuki scoops Mei into a hug, he does pick him up and spin them both around, but Mei is too thrilled with the win to scold him, to worry about image. He just locks his thighs on Itsuki’s hips and lets them both celebrate.

It’s a blur as they finish closing ceremonies, as both Mei and Itsuki make their rounds with the reporters, and before he knows it, they’re in a bar celebrating their win.

The bar lets them stay far later than closing, and while Mei drank more than he should’ve at the beginning of the night, he’s letting himself sober up in preparation for leaving. He has his own ideas of how he’d like to celebrate the win, and he’d like to be sober when he gets home to suggest them.

Itsuki isn’t much worse than tipsy when they finally leave, and Mei hopes he might have the same idea. He didn’t see Itsuki drink much the whole night.

“I got another question about living together,” Itsuki tells him. “Whether we use the time together to plan for games.”

“That’s one use of living together,��� Mei says, because it is. “I can think of better uses of our time, though.”

Particularly the length of soft red rope sitting in one of his drawers, and how good that would look against Itsuki’s tan skin. Itsuki barely blushes at the comment.

“It’s weird to give them half the truth about us,” Itsuki says. “Do you feel that way?”

Mei shrugs.

“If you want this to be just for us, that’s fine with me,” he says. “I’m not in the habit of hiding, but it’s not just about me.”

“You’d really tell everyone if you could?” Itsuki asks. “You wanna be the first openly gay couple in the pro league?”

“We’re both bi,” Mei says, just to be a shit. “And why not? When have I ever cared about what other people think of me? I’d ask you to marry me right now if I thought you’d say yes.”

“Really?” Itsuki’s voice is high and breathless, and Mei doesn’t know why that should be such a surprise.

“Of course,” he says. “I didn’t work so hard to deserve you to not spend the rest of my life with you.”

Itsuki is silent for so long that Mei is sure he must have said something wrong.

“Itsuki?” he asks, prepared to apologize for whatever he messed up, prepared to talk it out.

“Please take care of me,” Itsuki says, bowing his head.

“That’s for proposals,” Mei says dumbly, and then the implications hit him. “Wait, that wasn’t a proposal!”

“Sounded like one,” Itsuki says, and his cheeks are flushed pink, but he can’t seem to stop smiling.

“I can do so much better than that, I wasn’t even trying to propose there!” Mei protests.

“But you meant it?”

“Of course I meant it,” Mei scoffs.

“Then it’s good enough for me,” Itsuki says. “It was honest. Those were your true feelings. I don’t need something fancy.”

“If I’m allowed to propose, you definitely have to let me do it better,” Mei says. Itsuki deserves better than Mei just dumping his feelings, freely giving them without ceremony. “Come on, our proposal story can’t be that I proposed accidentally.”

“Fine,” Itsuki says, leaning his forehead into Mei’s. “The feelings are the most important to me anyway.”

“You’ve got those,” Mei promises. “I chose you a long time ago. I’ll keep choosing you.”

“Careful, now you’re getting into wedding vow territory,” Itsuki says.

“You’ve got no idea,” Mei says. “Just wait.”

“For the record, I’m saying this is when we got engaged.”

“Cheeky.”

Mei can’t stop grinning, though, and he kisses Itsuki on the cheek, smiling too wide to kiss properly, and then he’s laughing, and so is Itsuki, because they’re ridiculous, because their road here has been so long and so twisted that neither of them could’ve seen where it leads, and they’re together, and they’re happy, and even if no one else understands, just that is enough for them.

#itsumei #daiya no a #dna #my writing #bos

[recentanimenews]

The Quintessential Quintuplets – 14 – Scattered to the Five Winds

While his family sleeps, Fuutarou is hard at work hand-writing comprehensive problem sets to ensure the quints pass the exam coming up in seven days. As usual, his burning of the candle at all five ends results in him collapsing into a “death-like” sleep before he can reach the door of their apartment.

Itsuki, frustrated that he’s late, finds him out in the hall, and her annoyance immediately shifts to genuine concern, then genuine gratitude to see how hard he worked for her and everyone’s sakes. It’s no surprise she’d react this way, considering she was the first to originally seek Fuu’s help…but it’s still lovely to see her smile behind his back.

Fuutarou is happy that all five sisters are present for the session, but things go off the rails shockingly fast due to the persistently butting of heads of Nino and Miku. First, it’s little things like Miku borrowing Nino’s eraser or Nino drinking out of Miku’s can (though joke’s on her, it’s matcha soda!) Fuu’s attempts to get them to get along fail miserably.

Then Nino, regarded as the most sensitive (as well as prickliest!) sister, gets fed up and heads to her room to study alone. When Fuu tries to stop her, she tells him to butt out of family business. When Miku hands her her copy of the problem set, she slaps it out of her hand. Then Itsuki gets involved, slapping Nino and ordering her to apologize, showing Nino how Fuu handwrote all those papers.

Nino is clearly contrite, but also doesn’t want to lose face (as she sees it). Above all else, she’s hurt, angry and disgusted that her four sisters have turned against her and fallen for all of Fuutarou’s “slick talk”. She then decides to double down on her stubbornness and move out.

When she accuses Itsuki of being a “domestic violence meat monster”, Itsuki decides to move out too. It’s a disaster! The next day (with only six days before the exam) Miku joins Fuutarou to search for her missing sisters; Ichika and Yotsuba are apparently busy with other stuff.

Then Miku asks a crowd if anyone’s seen someone who “looks like this” (referring to herself, not a photo), and they locate Nino at a luxury hotel, to which Miku is able to gain access by simply pretending to be Nino. Fuutarou pleads with Nino through the door to remember how she’s always been the one who cared the most about her sisters and their home, but that doesn’t work.

Any time Fuu, an “outsider” to Nino, tries to act like he knows them, it only makes her more resentful. However, she does notice the bracelet Fuu was wearing when she mistook him for “Rintarou” (and basically fell for him), and takes it off his wrist before slamming the door. As for Itsuki, well…as soon as Miku mentioned she ran out without her purse, I had a pretty good idea where she ended up: Fuutarou’s place!

She’s already having a second helping of Raiha’s curry when Fuu comes home, seems to borrow Fuu’s gym clothes to sleep in, and along with Fuu make an adorable Raiha futon sandwich at night. Basically every second of Itsuki at Fuu’s place is a gift, with her seiyu Minase Inori delivering a wonderfully warm and subtle performance. While on a moonlit walk, Fuu protests Itsuki continuing to crash at his place, saying a “well-off girl” won’t be able to survive.

Itsuki corrects him: only a few years ago (and likely around the time Fuu met Mystery Quint(s) in Kyoto), she and her sisters lived in poverty, due to her mother having to raise five kids all at once. When mom fell ill and passed, Itsuki took it upon herself to “guide the others” in her stead, which for Fuu explains why she slapped Nino. But Itsuki laments that she seems to have failed.

The next day, Fuu conronts Yotsuba, who has apparently joined the track team. She apparently couldn’t say no to the captain, and he’s unable to get her to quit. He tries to reason with Nino, but can’t get past hotel security. With all the quints separated, his prospects of helping them pass the next exam are in dire straits—especially with Nino saying she doesn’t care whether she passes.

With only four days until those exams, Fuutarou considers trying to drown himself in the river, thinking it might unite the girls, before immediately checking his suddenly dangerous thoughts. He then comes around to thinking Nino was right; he should have never come into his lives, which seemingly caused all this discord.

Of course, they came into each others‘ lives years ago, as the arrival of a grown-up version of the Mystery Quint appears before him, leading him to jump into the river after all. What the hell was that? A hallucination? Ichika with extensions, dressed for an acting role? A sixth sister? (No, probably not that.) Who knows, but she’s gone when Fuu climbs out of the drink.

Yotsuba runs past Fuu, but doesn’t stop, as she’s practicing for track (we also see that her shoes match the shoe that snapped a twig while Fuu and Itsuki were on their walk. Not sure what to make of that except…is Yotsuba doing track to stay out of the way vis-a-vis Fuu and the other sisters? At any rate, dunking himself apparently washed away his discouragement, and he heads back to Nino’s hotel, where again he’s stopped by guards.

But when Nino spots him, part of her admires his dogged perseverance, part of her feels bad for how wet he is, and part of her doesn’t want the other hotel guests to be subjected to him, so she invites him up to her place. Maybe she’s cooled down enough to hear him out…or maybe she just wants to ask how he came to possess Rintarou’s bracelet!

Episode Two Quintuplet Ranking:

Itsuki: The classic and presumptive Best Quint on most lists, here she really earns that top spot with the lion’s share of screen time. She showed all the sides: the eager student, the strict mom, the freeloader, the clear-eyed reminiscer, the moonlit walk companion…just a very strong overall showing. Total Points: 8 (2nd)

Nino: Yes, she’s a huge pain in the ass, but also yes I love her very much and just want her to go home! Getting that super-expensive hotel suite is so Nino, who’d never. She’s also wonderfully dense about the Fuutarou-Rintarou connection. Total Points: 9 (1st)

Miku: Good to see her standing up to the seemingly stronger-willed yet also more sensitive Nino, and defending Fuu’s hard work beside Itsuki. Total Points: 5 (Tied for 3rd)

Yotsuba: Second straight ep where there’s just not much of her, to the point I’m wondering if she’s avoiding Fuu on purpose. Total Points: 3 (5th)

Ichika: Ichiwho? A near no-show this week, though like Yotsuba there may be a reason: despite being the eldest, Ichika tends to fade into the background when sister conflicts rage. Total Points: 5 (Tied for 3rd)

By: sesameacrylic

#Anime #News #RABUJOI – An Anime Blog

[tenmillionotters]

Sleepwalking

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Kaneki Ken/Kirishima Touka, Sasaki Haise/Kirishima Touka

Character:  Kirishima Touka, Kankeki Ken, Sasaki Haise, Marude Itsuki, Washuu-Furuta Souta

Word count: 1694

Chapter: 2/3

Additional information: Human AU, Pregnancy, Parent-Child Relationship, Parenthood, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers

After not needing therapy in years, Touka returns to the ‘Lighthouse’ to seek help after the loss of the two people who meant the most to her, but the past isn’t something she can easily bury, it’s still alive and breathing, always around.

Read on AO3 or under the cut

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“You didn’t come alone today, did you?”

His features had softened a bit since the last time they saw, he looked so relaxed, it seemed like married life was something he truly enjoyed, there had been a time when she was just like that too, “He wanted to tag along… he’s worried about me, but he couldn’t really tell what I was going to do here.”

“Well, I hope that he is aware that I won’t be able to tell him anything about you, that’s confidential. … but on the topic of Haise, I would like you to tell me more about your relationship,” Dr Marude made a gesture to let Touka know she should speak up, maybe something he picked up on the studies abroad.

“What is there to tell… we live together, he is… friendly to me, but I just can’t bring myself to… open up to him, there is something about him I just can’t stand, it makes me angry it appals me,” did she really feel so disgusted by him? “It’s not because he’s a bad person or anything, no it’s me -”

“Touka,” he sighed and leaned forward, looking into her eyes with a stern but sincere expression, “None of this is your fault. It’s only natural to react like that considering what Haise symbolises to you, it wasn’t an easy transgression… from grieving your husband's death and the miscarriage… to taking care of a total stranger. If you allow me to tell you my honest opinion on the matter…”

“Sure, go ahead…”

“... let him go, this isn’t right for either of you,” the words were so softly spoken, drenched in compassion and worry, he understood her not only because he had to, but because he cared for her.

“But I-”, she knew he was right, without a doubt, of course he knew what he was talking about, but why did it hurt so bad? Just the thought of letting him go? “I can’t live with him but I also can’t let him go - he’s all that’s left of …”

How many hours had already passed with her just crying trying to figure out what to do next, while he was just sitting in his chair, watching her, letting her cry in peace? This place created such a warm and welcoming environment, it wasn’t as warm as a home or as safe… but it radiated this calm sense of compassion, it was okay to cry here, nobody would ever know.

“... thank you…,” Touka vibed over her eyes and glanced at the clock, “... see you next week?”

“I am sure Souta can find a spot for you, … Touka, what I said earlier, the decision is yours but please do what is best for you, not for him. Sometimes you have to be selfish in order to protect yourself,” Itsuki sighed and placed his hand on her shoulder, “I know you’re strong, but you need to rest too.”

“... thank you…,” there was nothing she could say, she knew he was right, he knew what he was talking about but he also knew how stubborn she was, oh so stubborn.

“Doctor!”, Haise jumped up and dropped the magazine he was reading, the noise came to much displeasure of the receptionist Souta and the cat, his assistant receptionist, who both exchanged questioning and annoyed looks, “I’m sorry - it’s so good to finally meet you! I’m Sasaki Haise, I am Touka’s roommate.” He bowed deeply and then smiled warmly at the man.

“The pleasure’s mine, I’m Marude Itsuki… as you already know Miss Kirishima’s doctor,” it sent a shiver down Touka’s spine to hear him talk like that again, he sounded so formal and distant, well… of course he did, he didn’t know Haise personally.

“Thank you for taking such good care of my Tou- … Miss Kirishima,” he bowed again and then started to search for his car keys blindly, “I-I I’ll be waiting in the c-car Touka.”

They quietly watched him leave before Itsuki turned to Touka, “... so that’s him, huh?” He wouldn’t mention the slip, why should he? It would only do more harm than good anyway.

“Yeah…,” her mouth felt numb, as if her tongue was swollen and heavy, she walked over to Souta and smiled tired, “I need an appointment for next week…” While he was busy checking the calendar she took the time to pat the friendly black cat, “Hey there Kimchi…” The little guy purred pleased and rubbed his head against Touka’s hand.

“Is Wednesday at 7 pm okay?”, a few strains of long black hair feel into his face as he tilted his head waiting for an reply.

“Yes, that’s fine with me,” even though she always set a reminded in her phone, she let Souta press a small piece of paper into the palm of her hand, “Thank you. Sorry for making you wait again. Good night.”

“Good night, Touka-chan!”, Souta waved lightly, but he noticed that his brother-in-law didn’t respond at all, “Itsuki, is everything okay?”

“... what do you think about the two of them, do you think this will end… well?”

“You know, I only wish the best for Touka-chan,” he lowered his gaze and stared at his hands, “But when I am honest I don’t think this whole ordeal will have a happy end. The world doesn’t work like that… sadly. No matter how much you love someone, sometimes they’re just out of touch, no matter how close…”

“Mhm… now, enough of that let’s go home, your brother is waiting for us,” maybe he shouldn’t have asked something like that in first place, the poor kid had enough worries already.

Touka’s steps were light as she ran down the stairs, she didn’t want it to end, she didn’t want to see Haise right now, if she could she would have asked him to leave on his own and then she’d just spent the night somewhere else, maybe at the docks in the harbor, all by herself… but she couldn’t do that, she couldn’t stay away from him for too long.

Haise threw his head back and sighed, why did he say something like that infront of an audience…? His Touka? His? What in the world got into him? Should he apologise for that…? It wasn’t appropriate of him to say something like that especially not considering that he was talking about a widow.

… but most of all, he didn’t have a right to speak of her like that when he was the one who rejected her months ago; could he blame himself for it though? Probably not. He barely knew her and her advances were overwhelming, but telling her that he didn’t even have an idea who she was seemed to have made a switch turn in her mind, she got distant, she apologised to him. Now he missed it, her kindness, her warmth, he was just scared to be a replacement for her dead husband, but Touka wasn’t a person like that… and now there was no way to ever go back, or…?

“Sorry that I made you wait,” Touka sat down and fixed her shirt, “Are you hungry? We can drop by an fastfood place, whatever you feel like… I don’t want to cook tonight. I just want to eat and then sleep.”

“... y-yeah, we can just get some KFC…”

Was something wrong? This wasn’t like Haise at all, but then again, she wasn’t in the place to ask any questions. It was none of her business, she was nothing but a stranger to him after all.

“Do you want to watch a movie…?”, it took him a while to speak up, but when he finally did it felt like a burden was lifted off him at the same time his anxiety kicked in, what would she think of him now?

“I am not in the mood to hang out,” Touka laughed and sighed, “Maybe tomorrow, I can ask my friends if they’d like to join, we could all go to the movies and spend some time in the city afterwards, only if you want to of course.”

“Sure! Sounds great…,” so much for the idea of making it a romantic date, yeah sure… as if she’d ever spend time with him alone out of her own free will; it was a start though, wasn’t it? “I’m looking forward to it.”

“Me too,” the aspect of not having to endure it alone was what gave her enough strength to stomach the thought that she’d be alone with him, “Wait… what… day is it tomorrow?”

“Tuesday… Oh! You… meant the date, the 23rd why?”, was it some kind of special day; did he miss something?

“... I am sorry, but I think we can’t go to the movies tomorrow…”

Every 23rd of the month was somewhat dreadful to her, but this one was especially bad. It only marked another year she had to live without the love of her life and their child, she still remembered the night that her husband's colleagues were standing in front of her door, pale and shaking. Their eyes were swollen, red and filled with despair, she knew what they were going to say but she didn’t want to hear it.

No apology, no explanation, nothing would ever be able to heal the pain she felt in the moment they told her that the operation failed. Ken wouldn’t come back to her, never again. She remembered that everything went blank, but she heard that she went berserk, she screamed and cried, woke up in a hospital with a hollow feeling in her stomach.

The numbness spread through her entire body, consumed her. They said they’re sorry, but they have bad news about the baby, she knew it already, oh God, why did they have to say it? “It’s gone, it’s dead isn’t it?”, she laughed after saying it, oh the irony, in that night she not only lost her husband but also her child.

“Let’s go out some other time Haise…,” it was merely a whisper, she let her fingers trace the marks the rain left on the car window on this clear and warm night.

#my writing #touken #tousaki #kaneki ken #kirishima touka #sasaki haise #tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul :re #tg #tg :re #tg fanfic #angst #human au

[trishnawrites]

Chapter 1: Drop Dead Gorgeous - Trial

The final part of chapter1! I’m really glad I decided to make the trial a separate part, because... geez, this one is also rather long. And yes, I used this oppurtinity to let characters talk that were pretty silent up until now. Just like all the other times: Thanks to @xagrofiction and @labyrinth-of-headcanons, my awesome beta readers!

Nervously, I glanced at the faces of the others. Most of them looked tense; after all, nobody knew exactly what would await us. Itsuki was conscious again, but he still looked rather pale and was leaning on Umi for support. The only people who at least seemed unfazed were Arata, who still looked very disgruntled; Wakuri, who was trying to exude the calming air of a teacher -  but the first cracks in that facade showed - her eyes restlessly scanning the atrium over and over again; and Sena, whose expression was best described as „utterly pissed“. We all flinched when Monokuma‘s voice could be heard. „A-hem! I apologize for the wait, but I wanted to make you feel what I've had to bear all these past days!“ A collective groan followed. Sena looked like she was just about to start cursing again when the bear cut her off. „Anyway, to get to the courtroom, please step on the platform that will rise from the ground. Then you just have to hang on tight and – tadaaa! - you‘re already there!“ Just as he finished talking, the floor really did open and a platform emerged. It was rather small, so it was crammed and some had to hold on tight to the railings that also emerged from below so that we wouldn't fall off -  even more so when that thing started to move downwards.

The ride itself was quiet. Nobody dared to speak – not that we would have known what to talk about. This entire situation was so weird, so strange, it had my mind reeling. The others probably felt similar. After what may have been just a few minutes  - but definetely felt more like an hour  - the platform stopped and a door opened before us. What lay behind it actually had some similarity with a courtroom. But really just 'some'. There was a throne-like chair, probably replacing the bench. The fact that Monokuma used that seat was concerning, but at this point admittedly not surprising anymore. He had talked about 'his' trials earlier, after all. What that meant for the trial ahead though, I didn‘t want to imagine. In the middle of the room were 16 courtroom stands arranged in a perfect circle. As we came closer, we could see that each was labeled with a name… with one exception. Two seats to my left was a big, monochrome picture of Hibiki‘s face, but it was crossed out in bright pink. That seat, I realized, would have been his and if we were have to return here – and I back then certainly hoped we would never have to – there would be reminders of the people we lost to the madness of this mansion. It took a while until everyone found their respective seat. Some of Monokuma choices were passable if not actually good ideas. I mean, I really didn‘t want to praise that twisted thing, but it had indeed placed Iroha and Shizuka opposite of each other; that way Iroha would have the least amount of trouble seeing and understanding his signing. Other choices, I found questionable, though. Personally, I didn‘t think it was a smart idea to place Arata and Takumi next to each other, but oh well. The person on my left was Sena, while Barano was on my right, so I couldn‘t really complain too much. Sure, Sena still was intimidating, but I knew that deep down, she could be nice and that reassured me.

„Alright, everybody‘s here, so let‘s get this show started! First, let me explain the rules of this trial: You'll be given no time limit to find out 'the blackened', so feel free to discuss as long as you want! Once you think you have found the killer, I will let you vote. The one chosen by majority vote is who you as a collective propose as 'the blackened'. If you‘re right, I will go ahead and punish the killer! If you‘re wrong, however, I will let the perpetrator go free and everybody else will get punished. Do you understand?“ The chorus of our subdued voices answered him. „Then I declare this trial is now in session!“ And with that, it began. A trial of life and death, where hope and despair would meet.

„Let‘s start by going over the facts laid out in the Monokuma File, then we can talk about how we proceeded and start off from there.“ Wakuri said sternly while pushing back her glasses. „Poor Hibiki was the victim...“ Barano started, her voice laced with sorrow. „And he was killed at some point during last night in the theatre room.“ Takumi continued. At least he let his feud with Arata rest at a time like this. „I think… the file said he had been strangled by hanging...“ Mayuho contributed, the airy voice we knew sounding muted. She tended to stare off into space, but unlike the other times, her gaze was now fixed to a point at the ground. As strange as she was sometimes, she was just as sad as us… the puppeteer just showed it differently. „The people who found his corpse were Arata, Shizuka and Yuuna“ Umi said. Arata nodded. „But I left the room soon after that again to bring you all to the theatre room. It was Yuuna and Shizuka who examined the body as well as the rest of the room.“ We both nodded and before I could say anything, Shizuka started to sign and Iroha promptly translated for us. „Most of what we found was confirmed by the file. Hibiki‘s body was stiff, so he had to have entered...“ Iroha stopped shortly, giving Shizuka a questioning look. He started to sign again, more slowly this time. I faintly recongnized the first sign from the time he introduced himself, so I guess he was spelling something again. Feeling that I had to say something as well, I interrupted them. „I… I think he meant that Hibiki had already entered rigor mortis.“ The courage that had made me speak up in the first place vanished as soon as I started talking, though, and I got quieter and quieter at the end. When the others stared at me, I blushed furiously and stared at the floor. „Entered what?“ Takara said finally. „Rigor mortis, also known as postmortem rigidity. After death, the chemical processes in your body come to a halt which leads to various things. One is rigor mortis, a state where all muscles in the body go stiff. Using that you, can trace back the timeframe in which the person had been killed.“ At least Kyou knew what I meant. „Anyway,“ Iroha continued „they then started to scrutinize the body. They found marks around the throat which matches him being hanged. But they didn‘t find any… rope… burns? Or any ropes for that matter. In fact, they didn‘t find the murder weapon at all.“ „Now that you mention it again: There was nothing about the murder weapon in the file either.“ Kenshin noticed. Right, now that he mentioned it, there really wasn‘t.

„Wha-wha-what does that mean?“ Poor Itsuki. Not only did his whole body tremble, he was almost crying as well. „Easy. The killer just hid it very well.“ Katsuo's tone sounded like he thought that was the obvious answer. I wanted to comment on that, but Arata was faster than me. „Nonsense! Why do you think I searched all the rooms?“ He sounded like he was close to getting angry again. Understandable, he really had done his best, after all. „All the rooms? As far as I recall, yours and Kenshin's were still left,“ Takara said, wearing a smug smile. „Do you have anything to hide?“ „No“, Kenshin responded calmly. „Why would I?“ Arata asked back. Was it my imagination or did his voice falter just a tiny bit at that statement? Before Takara could come up with any kind of flippant answer, I chimed in. „Th-there's another possibility. What... what if... the killer still has the murder weapon with them?“

The room fell silent for a moment. Then, a high-pitched squeak that sounded like „Please no!“ came from Itsuki's direction. I could understand him. I didn't like the thought either, but still... it was possible. And if my hunch really was correct, that was exactly why we hadn't found anything. After their moment of silence, everybody started to discuss loudly. It took a loud whistle from Kyou to get them all focused again. „I don't think we'll get any further on that end right now, so why don't we talk about something else now?“ He suggested. „Maybe... we should talk about the 'how'? You know... how Hibiki was killed?“ Mayuho proposed. „He was hanged. It's simple, why would we talk about how it was done?“ Takara almost complained. „It may seem that way, but we have to keep in mind that there's only one person among us who is even taller than Hibiki“ Kenshin explained. We all looked at Kyou. He gulped, then, while sweating nervously, he said: „Don't look at me like that! It wasn't me!“ „As if...“ I heard Takara whisper, her voice filled with spite. „Besides, if it had been me, then why would I even ask about the way it was done?“ He had a point there. „Weren't there hooks behind the curtain, though?“ Iroha asked. Shizuka nodded. „Ah, so you could easily use one of the hooks, either as some sort of a hoist or just to tie a second noose around it. That's what you're getting at, right?“ Umi put forward. She sounded pretty sure of herself. „But doesn't that mean... everybody of us could have done it?“ Sena wondered. Exactly. The culprit had used one of the hooks to hang the singer. A feat each and every one could have accomplished. „So... we're back to square one since we don't have the murder weapon.“ Barano sighed. I glanced sideways to see her, and she looked just as defeated as she sounded.

The others raised their voices again; another loud, unfocused discussion ensued. I started to fumble with my hair. This was the right opportunity to verbalize my suspicion, but I would never be heard with this much noise. I couldn't let this chance pass, but I couldn't muster the courage to speak up, either. Feeling crushed, I looked at the ground. „Hey y'all, quit yappin'! Yuuna has something to say and ya better listen!“ Sena's angry voice cut through the commotion. Had she been watching me? Judging from the way she now looked at me and encouraged me, as well it seemed that way. „I have no idea about this, but you have, right? Go for it, we need a good clue or maybe even more at this point!“ I swallowed hard and took a deep breath. Then I looked up, facing the others' expectant eyes. „I have an idea... But that idea would also make one of us the prime suspect... So...“ I was interrupted by Takumi: „Who cares? We're just running in circles otherwise.“ The remaining people agreed. „Okay, so... As I said earlier, I believe the killer still has the murder weapon with them. After all... you don't necessarily need to use a rope to hang somebody. A sturdy enough scarf or another long piece of fabric could do the job just as well.“ A racket started anew. And yet again, Sena who settled it with her... gentle words. „I know, I know... That leaves us with three suspects who we all know own a piece of clothing that could have been used..“ I had to stop for a moment and refocus. I really didn't want to do this. A mixture of fear, abhorrence and... probably guilt started to wash over my body. I almost didn't manage to open my mouth again. But I had to... and that thought gave me determination. „Katsuo, Iroha and Takara. You three are the prime suspects.“ Of course, the three in question started to defend themselves immediately. Katsuo calmly, as if the very thought of him being a killer was far-fetched. Iroha started to cry. She had never even thought about hurting one of the other captives, she said, because she had wanted to befriend us. And Takara... just glared at us all indignantly as if she was disappointed of us. „I take it you only propose this theory to us because you actually have noticed a clue as to who the killer is, right, Yuuna?“ Arata suddenly asked. His voice was smooth, his gaze calculating. „I, too, have an idea, but I'm afraid I'm missing the last piece to solving this case.“

Was I... really the only one? Nobody else had noticed? Meaning... nobody else had a concrete idea? If that was the case, then I really should just come out and tell them everything. But... what if I'm wrong? Could I really bear that responsibility? After all, if I now named the wrong person... I would get us all killed. The lives of all the others depended on me. It felt like I was being crushed. Or dragged down a deep, dark swamp. Maybe even both at the same time. Why? Why did I have to do this? Tears started to fill my vision. Suddenly I felt a reassuring grip on my left shoulder. I looked in that direction. It was Sena... and her face looked almost... tender? „Look, I told you, I have no clue at all. Most of us don't. We need you, Yuuna.“ „But-“ „And I trust you. No, we trust you. You can do this.“ What did I do to earn their trust? I couldn't understand. However, before I could start sinking into my sea of anxiety again, Sena gave me another reaffirming squeeze. I had to do this. Otherwise, this would never come to an end. I still trembled, tears were still flowing from my eyes and yet... I was filled with determination. „I think I know who Hibiki's killer is. It's...“ I took a deep breath and looked at her face. „...Takara. You... are the culprit, right?“

At first, there was a dead silence. Then... laughter. Takara's hysteric laughter. „Me? Meeee? You say I'm the killer? I'd say 'don't make me laugh', but you already did!“ I shuddered. But I didn't falter. I couldn't. „Yes, you. The biggest giveaway is a quality your shawl has that the other two fabrics don't. It has glitter.“ „So what, big deal! Glittering scarves are en vogue at the moment!“ „And glitter can also be used as forensic evidence. I found traces of glitter on one of the hooks... and also on the skin of Hibiki's throat.“ That took the wind out of her sails. The others looked... impressed, maybe. Wakuri looked up to Monokuma, who had followed the trial quietly up until now. „Monokuma. If the glitter really is the same, would you tell us?“ she asked, her tone stern, but also filled with hope. „Puhuhu! Maaaaybeee. It depends on how well you can present the whole case!“ Takara blinked at that as if she had a good idea. „Yeah, right, the whole case! Maybe someone else stole my shawl and used it! Can you prove it was me?! And even if you can, how do you suppose I would be able to do it!?“ She got louder and louder to the end. Her face was twisted into a grimace of anger and hatred. Under any other circumstance, I would have wavered. In this situation, though, I couldn't allow myself to hesitate. Calmly, I started describing how everything must have gone down.

„First you invited Hibiki to the theatre room after dinner. Or maybe he already was there, it doesn't matter really. You talked to him, probably suggesting a truce to your constant fighting. Seeing as Hibiki hated it from the beginning, he agreed. Then... you made him exhausted. Probably by proposing that you should pay attention to whatever the other needs the stage for. So you asked him to perform for you. Knowing Hibiki, he went all out. When he was done, you gave him a bottle of water. Little did he know that you laced it with one of your sleeping pills. Which, of course, took effect. As soon as Hibiki was out cold, you tied a noose around his neck, using your muffler. Then you let down one of the hooks and tied the other end around it. The rest is pretty easy. You used the control panel to let the hook rise up again and then waited until Hibiki was strangled. Yet again, you moved the hook down, untied your scarf, bring the hook back to its original position, done. Maybe you first wanted to move his corpse elsewhere, but you decided not to after a while. That's why we found him on the stage and not behind the curtain. Of course, nobody noticed anything; after all it was night, so we all were in our rooms, fast asleep.“

Takara's eyes pierced me. „And where...“ she began, her voice cold and without any emotion, „is the damn evidence?!“ She screamed at the end. „Everywhere“, I aswered calmly. „We should find the very same glitter that was on the hook and Hibiki's corpse all over you. And as long as we don't find it on anyone else in a significant amount, it's proof enough that you're the killer.“ … Again, she started laughing, the volume rising, while tears ran down her face. „Found out by miss no-presence!“ She gasped between laughing fits. And then, she suddenly grew silent as if shut down. As she started talking again, her voice was flat, yet again without emotion. ”My mother never cared for me. If it hadn't been for my good-for-nothing father, she wouldn't even have given birth to me. After my father died when I was five years old I had to learn to take care of myself. The only gifts my mother ever gave me for my birthdays were, as soon as I could read, cooking books and other manuals about chores. Other than that, she never paid me any real attention. The only times she came close to it was when I was accepted into high school. I mean, Akamine High School, a school were scouts from Hope's Peak are a regular occurrence. And of course, the moment I was actually scouted. I could have visited Hope's Peak! But alas, I was brought here instead... My real family were the people I worked with. My make-up artist and the rest of the crew. I loved modeling... There, I finally got the praise my mother always withheld from me. Finall,y people wanted me... Loved me. Of course I had to get back there. Monokuma's proposal of a career boost was just the last push I needed. I also decided on Hibiki as my victim relatively early. I really hated him. You could say it was hate at first glance. The crime took place exactly how you described it, Yuuna. I'm impressed.“

That was when it hit me. I... had been right! I actually had been right! I was so overwhelmed that at first I didn't understand why Sena next to me got angry. „Stop smilin' so smugly! Ya killed somebody, don'tcha have any regrets?!“ „The only regret I have is that I didn't work harder to hide it.“ For the last time that day, the room went silent. We all looked up at Monokuma. „Now then, after such a heated trial, please cast your votes!“ A small monitor integrated in the tiny table belonging to our stands sprung to life. On it, we could see a list with the names all people gathered here, though Hibiki's had been crossed out. My finger trembled and yet it unerringly found Takara. Suddenly a far larger monitor over Monokuma's chair, one that we hadn't noticed before, switched on. It showed a slot machine. All three spinning wheels stopped and showed Takara.

„Well, well, well. It seems my confirmation is unnecessary now! But if you really wanna know, then: Yes, the glitter found at the scene of crime and the one belonging to Takara's shawl are the same! Aaaand you all found out the blackened. Coooongratulations! Now, to my favorite part of all of this: Iiiit's punishment tiiime!“ While almost singing the last part, Monokuma first hit a goofy looking button with his judge's hammer, then grabbed Takara and dragged her away with more force than any of us would have expected. My feelings of joy quickly turned into revulsion. How could I have forgotten about that part? But now it was too late; the twisted bear had already dragged the former model out of the door. The image on the big screen changed. First it was black, with a red, pixelated Monokuma pulling away a sprite of the model. In big red letters, it said: „Game over

Takara has been found guilty.

Time for the punishment!“

Then the screen turned pure white with elegant golden writing.

Killer Looks

Takara looked around. She was on a catwalk surrounded by an audience of Monokumas. Yet, without hesitation, she started to walk, the way a professional model would. Still, when she finished her run and looked at the crowd expectantly she only saw angry Monokumas. Some of them even held up signs that said things like „Go away, ugly bitch!“ or „You call that modelling?“ Tears started to fall from Takara's eyes; she turned around and raced into her changing room and from there into the small closet. Due to her crying she didn't notice how the doors to the closet suddenly sported spikes and couldn't react in time when they suddenly closed.

After that I looked away. All strenght left me, I collapsed and lost consciousness.

#danganronpa #fanganronpa #fanfic #tw: death #tw: strangulation #fan danganronpa #Trishna writes #I toned down the gruesomeness of the executions #Because I don't think I could describe them in more detail #Without me having trouble doing so

[musicprincess655]

Mei stares at his phone. He can’t look away from Itsuki’s words.

I never blocked you.

Mei never really had proof that Itsuki blocked him, but it’s the only logical conclusion he could’ve come to. Itsuki never replied, no matter how much Mei needled him at first to try and get a reaction.

I’ve read all the emails you sent me.

Every admission, every realization, all the dirty, ugly things Mei has held in his heart for all these years, and Itsuki has read them all.

Can we talk?

Mei needs to respond. He needs to. The longer he waits, the more likely Itsuki will take his silence as a no. But he can’t.

All he can do is think about all the emails he’s sent. He just read them all over, which means they’re vivid in his mind, everything he told Itsuki, everything he ripped out from the depths of his heart because he was so sure Itsuki wasn’t listening.

Where?

He types the email and sends it numbly, fingers moving nearly on autopilot.

You’re close to the city center, right? I know a ramen bar that isn’t too loud. Does tomorrow afternoon work for you?

Phrasing it as a question is a kindness. Itsuki knows exactly where Mei lives, because one of Mei’s most recent emails had been a recount of his extensive apartment search.

I can meet you there at 2. Just send me the address.

Mei lets his phone drop to the couch as soon as the answering email from Itsuki comes in. He stares into middle distance and tries to force his brain to start functioning again.

Itsuki has read everything Mei sent him. He knows every secret Mei has tried to keep hidden, and Mei knows almost nothing about Itsuki anymore. There is so much in all those emails that Mei never would’ve said if he thought Itsuki was actually listening, and now it’s just out there. Mei is open, raw and exposed, and he’s gotten nothing about Itsuki in return.

He’s not upset with Itsuki, though. Itsuki has every right to read those emails. It’s not his fault Mei made the assumption he wasn’t listening, took that as an opportunity to say everything he wanted without any fear of who might hear it. Mei wishes he’d known, wishes Itsuki had replied at any point, but he can’t be angry about it.

And if he’s honest, as he’s trying to be now, a part of him is relieved that he doesn’t have to say all of that to Itsuki’s face quite yet. Someday, he’ll have to, but from the gut-wrenching apologies to the mushy feelings talk, Mei isn’t ready to say all it out loud. In a way, it’s almost comforting that Itsuki knows without Mei having to say anything.

Mei’s brain keeps buzzing, determined to keep him awake, but moving all day and the lingering effects of jetlag draw him closer and closer to sleep. He slumps into the couch, too tired to even stand and walk to his bed, and tries out the new emotion brewing in his chest that he isn’t ready to name yet. Maybe tomorrow will be the start of something new and good, especially if those emails laid some groundwork for him already.

He carefully doesn’t think about the possibility that Itsuki called the meeting just to tell him to back off.

Despite his exhaustion, Mei wakes up early, sun shining right in his eyes through windows he hasn’t had time to get curtains for yet. His head pounds behind his eyes, and Mei really should go back to sleep for a few hours, but now that he’s awake, he can’t stop thinking about later. He hauls himself out of bed and starts up his brand new coffee maker, and considers the clothes he hasn’t quite finished unpacking yet. He doesn’t want to appear too forward, but he also doesn’t want to look like a slob, and he’s not sure what middle ground he’s supposed to hit. In the end, though, he doesn’t have a lot of shirts that aren’t wrinkled or smell weird from being in his suitcase, so the choice is almost made for him.

Obsessing over it won’t help him, and trying to plan won’t either. He doesn’t know Itsuki well enough anymore to try and predict his reactions. Mei does both anyway until it’s time to go.

He arrives early, enough that he doesn’t want to go in and wait yet. Instead, he taps at his phone, trying to look casual, like he just stopped to check a message or something instead of scrolling aimlessly through Twitter.

“Mei-san?”

Mei whips his head up before he can worry about looking too eager. His heart stutters nearly to a stop when he sees Itsuki.

In all their time at the Olympics, Mei hardly saw Itsuki out of his baseball uniform, and even when he did, Itsuki was just in sweatpants. Mei isn’t at all prepared for Itsuki in casual clothes.

Itsuki isn’t dressed in anything fancy, but he’s upgraded a bit from the jeans and t-shirts he used to wear in high school, and his body has too. His shoulders are broad enough to fill up the jacket he’s wearing nicely.

And Mei is staring.

“Hi,” he says stupidly.

“Hi.”

“Do you want to…?” Mei gestures behind him to the restaurant.

“Yeah, let’s…” Itsuki isn’t doing any better at carrying the conversation, which makes Mei feel just a little bit better.

The awkward silence doesn’t carry the chill it did when they met for the Olympics, though. Now, they’re just two people who used to know each other well and don’t anymore. That, Mei can fix, because all that will require of him is relearning who Itsuki is, and that’s hardly a chore. All it will take is some attention from him.

Mei lets the silence linger for just long enough to place their orders before he can’t take it anymore, and he goes directly for the elephant in the room because he’s never known how to do anything by halves.

“You read all the emails I sent you?” he asks. Itsuki starts at the sudden jump back to conversation.

“I, uh…yeah,” Itsuki says. “I figured you’d probably stop sending them eventually if I never responded.”

“And instead I used them as a diary,” Mei says.

Itsuki looks uncomfortable, and Mei wishes he wouldn’t, because if anyone should feel awkward now, it’s Mei for spilling his soul out into what he assumed was the void, and if Itsuki feels awkward, it doesn’t bode well for Mei.

“Did you mean everything you said in those?” Itsuki asks.

“I said a lot of things.” Mei can’t help being cagey, but Itsuki’s expression closes off, and Mei sighs. He’s still working on the honesty thing, and he forces himself to elaborate. “If you’re asking about something specific, probably. I thought I was just talking to myself. Why would I lie?”

For months of emails, Mei really can’t even guess at what specific thing Itsuki might want to know about. He said so much that Itsuki could object to.

“Okay.” Itsuki relaxes a little, leans forward and rests his elbows on the table.

“Do I get to ask why you finally answered?” Mei asks.

“You weren’t going to send me any more, right? And you wanted to try and fix things with me?” Itsuki asks. Mei nods. “I figured it’s only fair that you know I saw everything you said to me.”

“Does that mean you’ll let me try?” Mei asks, heart in his throat. He barely dares to anticipate Itsuki’s response, that new emotion beating in his chest.

“I’ll let you try,” Itsuki says, holding up a hand to the jubilation that must show through on Mei’s face. “Just try, though. You’re not forgiven.”

That doesn’t daunt Mei at all. He already knew he wouldn’t be forgiven easily, and has already started planning for how he can earn Itsuki’s forgiveness. When their food arrives, Mei digs in with an exuberant slurp.

“Tell me about the team,” Mei says once he swallows. He needs a break from the heavy topics, and if Itsuki’s relieved slump is anything to go by, so did he. Baseball, however, is safe, and they can talk about the team without stepping on each other’s toes too much.

Itsuki tells him about the team as a whole, but he focuses in on the pitchers and catchers. Mei listens with interest as he eats, largely letting Itsuki talk without interruption, tracking his hand motions when he’s not focusing on Itsuki’s face. By the time they’re done eating, a relaxed atmosphere has fallen over them.

Mei isn’t dumb enough to think that means everything is better. He’s sure as soon as they try to talk about something that isn’t baseball, both of them will tense right back up. But just having one safe topic, one foot in the door, is a better start than Mei ever thought he’d have. When they pay the check and leave, Mei feels buoyed by that feeling in his chest.

Hope. He’s finally willing to label it. It feels different than the kind he felt back in America, when Talia introduced the idea that he might be allowed to forgive himself. Now, Mei has hope that one day, Itsuki might forgive him too. One day, Itsuki could be his friend again.

“See you at practice?” Itsuki says, very nearly a question, as they go their separate ways.

“See you, Tadano,” Mei says. He’s proud that he doesn’t even slip on the name.

“I think…” Itsuki takes a deep breath. “I think it’s okay if you call me Itsuki.”

Mei doesn’t have a prayer of stopping the grin that spreads across his face.

“See you at practice, Itsuki,” he says. “We’re gonna crush it.”

#itsumei #daiya no a #dna #my writing #bos