#i tried so hard to not talk about every single song on the albums | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zee-143 · 5 months

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~𝙵𝚊𝚗!𝚂𝚔𝚣 𝚡 𝙸𝚍𝚘𝚕! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜~

♡A/N: This is what won the polls so this is what I'll write. Also ty to everyone who likes my content. I have other fics coming up so stay tuned and hope you enjoy this one❤❤ Skz aren't idols in this btw. Just you :) I did reread this but if u do find mistakes I apologize 😭

SKZ x Fem! Reader

♡Genre: Fluff

♡Warnings: Noneee

Chan

He first heard about your music through a friend.

He was instantly hooked

He practically loved every single song you wrote and released

Chan was definitely a committed fan too

He'd follow all your social media just to stay updated on everything you were doing

Nothing creepy. Only to stay informed of course

If you had a fan meeting? He would totally be there. Even if it meant dragging a friend along with

A concert? He will be there just to support you

Chan simply loves anything you do. Whether it be the way you eat or talk. Everything just seems so... Perfect

Now, as a fan, Chan knows he shouldn't get too attached but its been difficult to say the least

Ever since that one encounter with you, Chan couldn't help but get a little excited at the thought of you

It was your 5th fan meeting. You were happily greeting fans, receiving their gifts or compliments like a complete professional. Chan stood in line, excitedly tapping his feet. He held a paper bag(that was your favorite color) with loads of gifts in them.

The line moved quite slowly but Chan didn't mind. If it was to see you, he'd wait a century. The closer he moved though, the more excited and nervous he became.

Finally, it was his turn to meet you

You happily greet him and he greets back. You spark up a little conversation by complimenting his outfit. Chan compliments back, saying how he admired your outfit too.

Chan revealed all the presents he bought for you. You were extremely surprised by how many things they were. Your staff can along, taking the gifts and placing them with the others

"You didn't have to buy all that stuff you know" You laughed. Your smile caused a light pink to spread across Chan's face. "I don't mind. You really inspire me and make me very joyful. It's the least I can do" Chan grins confidently. You nod, signing the poster and album he brought along

"Well, thank you so much. It's really amazing that I get to make fans like you so happy. It makes me happy. Don't stop smiling for me, alright? " He never forget those words. He never forgot his promise to her. He smiled, whenever a smile needed to be present.

Chan sometimes wonders if you remember him. It is unlikely. You do have millions of fans everywhere all around the world. Meeting you was enough for him though. It was just enough.

Minho

He was just scrolling through YouTube one day when he came across on of your music videos. With 93 million views?

He felt that was a little much but who knows maybe it wasn't bad.

Minho was wrong though. It wasn't just bad. Your music was 𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨. He felt like he just found a drug and you were the dealer.

He tried not admitting how much he actually liked your music but failed

The posters on the walls aren't there for nothing obviously

He loved your dance style. It was so clean yet fun. He'd spend hours in his room just watching performance videos and trying to master your dances

Minho was intrigued by your stage presence more than anything. You captivated the crowd with just one look. You definitely had a way with face expressions and emotions

His room was filled with different types of merchandise. From posters to photo cards to albums to hoodies and even more

With all the merch though, it was hard to keep his little obsession a secret. And not because he was embarrassed. He just didn't want people getting all nosy with this one little interest. It was his and his alone.

One moment he won't forget was that one live he watched

Minho wasn't particularly feeling well that day but luckily you were on the rescue. You decided to go live and just ramble about whatever has been happening. Nothing special, which Minho didn't mind. He just loved your voice.

Minho was slightly bored. He deciding on commenting something. It's not like he was hoping for you to see it. He typed out something sweet but simple: 𝘐𝘮 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳. He read through the comment before sending it through

You, on the other hand, we're reading through the comments until one caused you to raise your eyebrows and smile. "I'm feeling really bad today but your voice makes everything a little brighter" You read.

Minho practically panicked, noticing you read his comment. That was 𝙝𝙞𝙨 comment. He slapped his cheek just to make sure he wasn't dreaming. And sure enough he wasn't.

"I'm sorry that you're feeling bad but it'll get better. Life sucks but don't let that stop you. I'm glad I'm helping just a bit. To which ever fan who commented that and everyone else, I love you so much and don't ever forget that" You raised a thumbs up before staring back down at your phone, looking for more comments to read

Minho felt his heart skip a beat. Skip multiple beats in fact. Though the last few words weren't only directed towards him it felt that way. And that's all that matters.

Changbin

Changbin had always been a fan of you. Ever since debut he was rooting for you to succeed

And boy did you do just that

You had millions of fans from all over the globe now and he felt proud of you for that. He loved that you got where you wanted to be.

He enjoyed more of your older songs as that's what he's used to but the newer songs are amazing too.

What really stood out to him about you though was your laugh. You had such a pretty and contagious laugh. Every video he watches, he just hopes you'll laugh. It makes him smile.

He also relates to you food wise. Changbin is someone who loves food and for you to love food as much as he does. Well, that's nice to hear

It was funny how stupidly similar you both were but who knows.. Maybe he's just being delusional

He sometimes thinks about what it would be like to befriend you. He was positive that it wouldn't be a boring experience that's for sure.

He basically stalks your Instagram account and other social media too.

If you post something, he's most likely already seen it or read it. Everything you post is something different, so he always makes sure to stay updated

He also noticed how you both practically have the same sense of humor. Any joke you say seems to crack him up more than anything else

Changbin was watching a recent vlog you recorded and couldn't help but notice a funny detail. After the video he hopped onto Twitter and shared his observation

'𝘏𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘸 (𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦) 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 2 𝘵𝘰 3 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴. 𝘔𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘰 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥'

A few hours, Changbin returned to Twitter noticing the attention his post got. Many were agreeing and others were just pointing out other details. But one comment left him shocked

He couldn't believe it. He even clicked on the profile and did everything. And surely enough, that comment was from you

'𝘓𝘰𝘭𝘭, 𝘐 𝘥𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 😭"

You liked his little joke. YOU ACTUALLY LIKED IT. He tried not to scream as he was in a restaurant with a bunch of friends. He must have been dreaming, or dead maybe.

Either way, he was glad you got to laugh at his silly comment. Who knows. Maybe they'll be more silly comments you'll see and laugh at even more

Hyunjin

Hyunjin loves you. And when I say love, I mean he 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙨 you.

He listens to your music every single day. Maybe while painting or doodling, he played one his favorite songs

I mean, all your songs were his favorite song, but he had a few that he held close to his heart.

When with friends, he always has an urge to bring you up in literally anything conversation

"Did you see (name) at Paris Fashion Week "

"Did you know (name) can do that too"

"Woah, that reminds me of (name). She's a great idol and her music is fantastic! "

Just a few examples of his undying love to you

Hyunjin really believes that you both are soul mates. Now, that is quite delusional but it makes sense! (To him anyway)

You once described, in an interview, what your type is and he ticked all the boxes. But maybe that's just his ego talking. Just a hopeless romantic in love

He celebrated your birthday like it was his own.

His gallery was filled with more pictures of you than his own family

It was all very concerning but Hyunjin didn't care. He was happy. He was happy knowing you.

Hyunjin did do other things too. He occasionally posted his art which gained lots of attraction. It was good after all. At some point, you mentioned how you didn't know what cover to use for your upcoming album.

Hyunjin took it upon himself to make a fan made album cover. It was soo good, people actually thought it was official. You soon saw the cover and was so impressed. You needed to use it. It was perfect

Hyunjin woke up to something unexpected the next day. Other than the thousands of notifications, he got a DM. From you. He almost dropped his phone from pure surprise

'𝘏𝘦𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦!! 𝘐 𝘴𝘢𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘣𝘶𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘵!! 𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘯. 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘵, 𝘏𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘫𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵? '

'𝘠𝘶𝘱, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘮𝘦. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴. 𝘐𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘨𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘯 😖"

"𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭!! 𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬. 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦 :)"

"𝘖𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦. 𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘳!!"

And with that, Hyunjin's artwork was the official album cover

He was over the roof. Seeing his art piece on the YOUR official album with YOUR songs. Okay, saying he was over the roof is an understatement

You later had an interview about the album and basically praised Hyunjin for his work for around 2 minutes. He watched that interview more than he could count. Needless to say, he didn't want to forget this moment.

Jisung

Jisung wasn't an artist but he liked music. Music was like a child to him. To some extent anyway

It did make sense though

His father was the owner of a huge kpop company. The company you were under in fact

Jisung wasn't interested in your music at first. Until, he followed his father in the recording studio you were working in. It was just a check up on your latest song. After one listen, he couldn't get the song out of his head.

He did some research about you and realized you were quite a popular idol in the community. That's where his fan obsession began

He liked watching all your interviews. Your personality was something he couldn't get over. You were always so nice and thoughtful towards anyone around. He was very intrigued by everything.

Though you were in the same company his father owned, you both never interacted. Mainly because he avoided you as much as possible. Embarrassment was not an option.

As a fan, Jisung listened to your music. He had a special playlist just for your songs and songs you liked.Songs he thought 𝙮𝙤𝙪 would like too.

He basically carried a photocard of you everywhere. Jisung believes it brings him good luck. Which was a cute gesture but it did sound a bit silly

He didn't care at all. Even if it was silly, it kept him at ease. He liked it that way

You had to write a song for a special performance. It was to be the company's 50th birthday but you had no ideas. That's when Jisung came in

"I heard you were having trouble with song writing. I brought my son to help you. He is quite the song writer" Your boss smiled. You eyed Jisung curiously. This was all to sudden but time was running out. You allowed it.

Jisung on the other hand was a nervous wreck. He couldn't even focus without getting scared. You noticed this and decided to give him some space.

When you returned, the song was finished. You excitedly examined the lyrics. You were impressed to say the least. The lyrics naturally connected to you, as if they were your own

"Oh my- this is perfect Jisung. You really are a great song writer"

"Really? It's not dumb or anything...? "

"Not at all. It's so professional and well done. Good job"

You gave the male a quick but thoughtful hug. He hugged back. You were his favorite idol and he couldn't believe he got to be this close to you. It was a dream come true.

The song did extremely well. At the show, Jisung got a whole shoutout with his face on the big screen. He was embarrassed but glad. Glad he could help you out.

Felix

Felix found you through Tiktok. How? Well your MAMA performance was trending and it was practically every where. It was impossible for anyone not to see at least one edit.

Felix did watch MAMA and he knew about you. He has known for a while. But wasn't a fan. He just knew you were a popular idol. What he didn't know though, was how obsessed he would become.

Like Minho, Felix was mesmerized by how you dance. He imagined you were the best dancer he had ever watched. Felix would often practice your dances, simply for fun

Everything was for fun

Did he read the fan fictions? Well... No but yes. He did read them but only sometimes. And he only read the cute stuff. He was delusional at the thought of you. Just a cute fanboy

Felix absolutely loved your smile. He often called you a sunshine or something like that. He believes you bring sunlight and everything bright. Anyone could go blind even looking at you or that's what he thought.

Your voice. He was one of the fans who could listen to your voice for ages on end.

He was passionate about you. Talking about you just came naturally or even accidentally though he did feel embarrassed after rambling. He didn't want to seem annoying in front of his friends. It was hard to control.

Felix watched all the edits he could find. Any edit. Any meme. Any video. He would watch it. He enjoyed all the content fans made of you.

Like most, Felix had merchandise. All neatly organized and placed in his room. He didn't like misplacing any of it. Not because it was expensive. He just didn't need to loose anything. It was all important to him

Felix opened Tiktok one day. You posted a challenge. A challenge for a song that he was in love with. There wasn't one day he didn't think of this song. It didn't have any choreography ... Until now

So a challenge? He had to try it out!

After a few hours of practice and life regret, Felix memorized the dance. He joined on the challenge posting his version on Tiktok.

Felix knew the video was going to blow up but he didn't expect it to get him a deal with you

Now, the male was patiently sitting in your studio. A few staff members with him. You hurriedly entered the studio.

"Hello! So glad you could make it Felix"

"Uhm... It wasn't a problem but... Why am I here? "

"I need a dance partner. I saw your video giving a go at my challenge. You're perfect"

Felix tilts his head. He was curious about why she chose him but decided to learn that later on. Hey, he was given a deal to dance with someone he admired. Why not take it.

He worked really hard to learn all the dance steps and everything. With you of course. You were extremely helpful. Your smile had to be the best part of everything though. It was as bright as he thought.

The concert day has to have been the best though. The performance went really well. Felix became quite popular with your fans. Everyone was so supportive rather than jealous. It was the best day of his life. That day never left his mind. It definitely was something he'd never forget.

Seungmin

Seungmin isn't your biggest fan.

He does like your music. Your personality. Etc. He is definitely not a BIG fan of you

You were just an idol he was fond of

Seungmin had few amounts of merchandise. Again, he's just fond of you

Seungmin was captivated by your singing voice. That's what he first noticed. Nothing healed his heart more than your singing.

It was a melody he simply wouldn't get over. Seungmin, personally, sang himself. He actually was a trainee under your company too.

He'd often bump into you but it wasn't a huge deal. He saw you as any other idol in the company. Just a human with a big platform

You both often had a brief and quick interaction before moving on. Getting on with your own lives.

He was more normal about you than the others, obviously

The thing that changed though, was how much of a fan he was towards you

The company gave him a challenge to learn then sing a cover from the list that was provided

Alright, seems easy. He chose the hardest song. One of yours. Did he want to show off? Yes. Was it because he wanted to impress you? To an extent, definitely

The highnotes in the song are what he was ready for. He practiced. And practiced. And practiced some more.

Seungmin, like his other trainee peers, we're given the same challenge. One by one, they all perform their covers in front of the judges. The judges were honest. Really honest from what he heard. A girl ran back crying. Seungmins breath quickened and he lightly tapped his foot on the ground

He was anxious

His turn arrived. He stared at the judges, noticing you were there. 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 up, he thought. The greetings and introductions ended. Now it was time for Seungmin to impress everyone (cough cough you)

The song reached its end. The room was quiet. The judges glanced at each other, with stunned expressions.

They all gave their feedback. The feedback was honest but decent. Your opinion was something that stuck with him forever though

"Well, that was my song and I haven't heard anyone sing it better than me. I'm actually so impressed Seungmin. I'm jealous. You have an angelic voice which I need on one of my songs. "

Everyone agreed and nod their heads

"When you debut, I'd love you to feature on some of my future music"

Seungmin left the company that day in a cheery mood. He couldn't believe one day you'd want to work on a song with him. Oh he was definitely going to learn as many of your songs as possible now.

Jeongin

Jeongin is definitely someone who keeps his love for you a personal thing

Only close friends knew about it

He liked it that way

Your fashion sense is something he is obsessed with. Jeongin is someone who takes time when it comes to dressing up. As soon as you mentioned, in an interview, that most of your stage outfits or general outfits are what you pick yourself. He could definitely relate

You dress like someone who cares about what you look like. Just like him.

You are an ambassador for a fashion brand after all. His seen plenty of ads in the mall or on the internet of you. He liked pointing them out in front of his friends

Jeongin thought you were sweet. Sweet like honey

He had no specific reason on why he wanted to know so much about you. Maybe it was his personal connection with you.

Or maybe he just wanted something to be attached to

Either way he was a big fan. Jeongin was simple about this whole thing. He felt happy when watching your content

He definitely was over protective about you though. He knows he shouldn't. It just sucks when someone comments a negative opinion. Of course, criticizing an idol is necessary for improvement. Though some take it too far. That's what pisses him off

Other than that, Jeongin is relaxed. Most of the time, especially in winter, he wears the same exact beanie. When asked about it, he doesn't really know how to answer but it is quite a story.

He attended a concert of yours. He was close to the stage which was just perfect. Of course, he brought friends with him. Friends that are fans as all.

Jeongin practically sang his heart out to every song. One of your more intense songs with a lot of energetic dances played. While dancing your beanie accidentally flew into the crowd. Luckily, Jeongin caught it.

The performance ended. You joked about the beanie flying off and asking if anyone caught it. Jeongins friends screamed in his direction bringing all the attention towards him.

A bright red paints on his face. The concert venue was dim. You hopefully couldn't see it. You laughed lightly noticing the shock in his face

"You know what. You can keep it"

Jeongin frantically shook his head insisting on you taking it back.

"Really, take it. You spent a whole ton of money just to see me sing and dance. It's the least I could do for such a cute fan"

Jeongin felt like passing out. One of his friends roughly shook him while the crowd screamed

He smiled at the thought, anytime he saw the piece of clothing. It was a wonderful experience. An experience he had to relive again.

◦•●◉✿♡✿◉●•◦

A/N: This has to have been the longest ass thing I've written so far. But I hope you enjoyed this little thing. Thanks soooo much for reading ♡♡

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helioslover · 5 months

Text

CHERRY - CL16

PAIRING : singer!charles leclerc x actress!reader SUMMARY : you listen to the song charles has written about you for the first time. you hate how in love with him you are. WORD COUNT : 4.4k TW : angst, mentions of alcohol, breakup, sex SONG : cherry - harry style

You hate planes. You also hate being too shy to ask the stewardess for a night mask so that you could sleep through the flight. You hate knowing who’ll be picking you up at the airport. You also hate the way you're happy to see a familiar face in a country where you don’t know anyone, even if it is this familiar face. But you mostly hate the way you're eager to see Charles.

You have spoken a lot through the last few months, and you think that maybe the heartache you've felt for so much time has finally healed. Charles' has been staying in Monaco -he now splits his time between there and London - for a couple of weeks as he is recording some new songs for the next album. As unbelievable as it sounds, you have meticulously avoided any of Charles' new songs until now. The only one you're familiar with is Sixteen but you know that title tracks aren’t the ones Charles puts his entire soul in. You aren't ready to hear the brown-haired boy that used to drive you crazy sing about another woman. Yes, you've seen the pictures of Charles and Alexandra and yes, you've cried in your pillow until your body felt so dry that there were no tears left to cry.

“What do you mean you’ve never listened to my songs ever since we broke up ?” Charles had looked so shocked when you told him the truth (not the part about crying yourself to sleep, no, you didn’t mention this) that you had laughed. “Not even the ones from Fast Cars ? We were still talking when I released Fast Cars, Y/N !” His voice sounded raspy and you remembered that it was still early and that Charles had never been a morning person.

“Why are you up so early ?” you were clearly trying to avoid the subject.

“You called me, you idiot. I only answered because it was you. But now, I’m considering the option of hanging up. I mean… I’m not trying to brag but where were you for the last four years ? My songs have been everywhere.”

You chuckled. “Oh for fuck’s sake, I know that. You have no idea how annoying it is to avoid your songs at parties, on the radio, on TV, everywhere, you’re fucking everywhere, dude.”

“Don’t dude me. I think we're a bit closer than that, Y/N.” He was smiling at the camera, showing off his dimples. Behind him was a patchwork of photos, posters and movie tickets hanging on a beige wall. You tried to imagine the rest of the room. “Don’t think I’m forgetting what you just admitted. Mon Dieu,” he sighed overdramatically, “how would you react if I said I never watched any of your movies, huh ?”

You rolled your eyes. “I never said that I didn’t know any of your songs, Charles. I know some of them. But, I hate saying this, I kind of did not want to hear you sing about other people. See what I mean ? It’s alright when it’s from a time where you didn’t even know I existed, I mean some of yours are probably part of my favourite songs, but not when it’s- not when I-”.

“When what, Y/N ?” Charles asked, his voice softened as if he understood how hurt you would feel by hearing songs that weren’t about you.

“Nothing, just leave it. And don’t even try to pretend you’ve seen all of the things I act in. I’m pretty sure you haven’t heard about half of them.”

Charles was now smiling again. “I’ve seen all of them, Y/N. And you were good in every single one of them.”

Something broke inside of your heart because Charles' voice sounded like a warm hug. His statement somehow seemed like a proof that you weren’t the only one to find it hard to get rid of what you felt. And somehow, you hated it. “I gotta go. See you.” And you hung up. You were feeling too many things at the same time. You hated it.

You hate delay. Your plane hasn’t taken off yet and you're already bored. Your neighbor looks like he could be somewhere between fifty and eighty-four and it’s too cloudy to see anything through the window. Your book is not as interesting as it looked like and you know you haven’t downloaded enough playlists. You hate it, not knowing what to do.

You checks your phone to see if Charles has seen your previous message, warning him about your flight being late.

‘its ok, ill still pick you up, y/nickname.’

You smile. Even after all this time, you still don’t know if you hate or loves it when Charles uses your nickname. Another text appears on the screen.

‘since you have time, listen to my favourite one.’

There’s a link leading to a Spotify song and you download it, right before the pilot finally announces that the plane is about to take off. You put on your headphones, press play and instantly, as the first notes of the guitar resonate in your ears, cry.

Don't you call him baby [...] Don't you call him what you used to call me

The first time you called Charles baby wasn’t intentional. You recall the exact moment it slipped out of you mouth and the look Charles gave you after. You were about to have dinner with his mom and his brothers in Charles' flat and you hated how stressed you felt about truly meeting his family even though you'd already been introduced.

“Are you sure there’s nothing you have to warn me about, huh ?” you asked Charles for the hundredth time as you put on a blue shirt that made you look older than you were. Dinner was ready, Charles was too : the only one that was still changing her outfit (for the fourth time already) was you.

“Y/N, I told you : you have nothing to worry about. And you met them already, it’s not like they’re complete strangers.” Charles said from the kitchen where he was setting up the table.

You sighed. You couldn’t help it. The last time you'd seen Charles' family, you were just the girl who starred in his debut movie with him, not the girl he fucked every night. “Maybe blue isn’t my colour, don't I look kind of pale ?" you asked as you joined the kitchen.

“Shh, you’re making me crazy. You look perfect, just like you always do.” Charles handed you a glass of wine. He was wearing a red jacket on some beige pants and looked good. Like really good. “Drink this, it’ll help you.”

The wine was good, really good, and Charles' hands massaging your shoulders felt even better. You hated how Charles always seemed to know what you needed.

“Jesus, baby, this feels good.” The word flew out of your lips so naturally you didn’t even notice at first.

“What did you call me ?”

Your cheeks were turning red under Charles' sharp green eyes. You had seen this look before and knew exactly what usually came right after. “I- um, baby ?”

Charles took a deep breath. His body had gotten closer to yours. “And she does it again, Jesus, Y/N.”

You didn’t exactly understand why such a simple word had such an effect on Charles but you liked it. You liked having this power over him when you usually were the one looking like a middle-school girl talking to her crush for the first time. You felt a knot forming in your stomach, getting eager for a contact with Charles' skin. “Well, baby is gonna have to calm down. At least for now.” you answered, smiling wickedly.

Charles lost his smile. “Y/N. Stop it or I swear I’ll-” The doorbell had rung. Pascale, Arthur and Lorenzo were there.

We're not talking lately

You hate the fact that every line in this song seems directly aimed at youYou. He clearly remember Charles telling you this one word for word. It happened a couple of weeks after your breakup, after you'd moved out of Charles' London flat and had taken all of your things, even the ones you'd always left behind during your previous crises. You never really believed that this time was going to be the real one, that all of the years you'd spent around Charles were on the verge of becoming memories and nothing more. You couldn't even remember the reason you had started fighting. All you knew was that words couldn’t be unsaid and that you couldn’t look at Charles without remembering all the things that had been yelled that infamous night. So you had packed your bags in the middle of the night and had left.

Charles hadn’t called. For about a week, all you could do was look at your phone every ten minutes, hoping for a message, a missed call notification (though it would’ve been merely impossible for you to miss that call), something that would prove you that Charles cared about your relationship. You had walked away so that Charles would realise that he couldn't keep on treating you like you were granted and you had ended up losing it all.

Weeks had gone by without a word from the man you now called your ex. And then weeks had turned into months. Tabloids had sparked dating rumours of Charles and some amazingly pretty girls and it looked like the 'Y/N' chapter had quickly been forgotten. You had felt like an idiot until you'd received the long awaited message.

‘hey y/n, i hope you’re doing good. we’re not talking lately but i just needed you to know that i miss you’

Your heart had stopped beating. Or had it started beating faster ? You had felt like your insides were burning and your mind stopped functioning. It’d been so long since Charles had gone out of the picture that you weren’t even waiting for a sign anymore. You'd started moving on, helped by some of your friends who, tired of hearing complaints about the way things should’ve been, had decided that you had to create a Tinder profile. You'd been on dates, you'd met men that were willing to fill you heart with pure joy and some who were just willing to fill you. But you'd taken what you wanted from both categories and you'd stopped aching with the simple sight of Charles' name on a billboard.

But this message, it wasn’t supposed to ever be sent, it was too late now. It disrupted every plan you'd made to deal with the loss of the one you'd thought would be the love of his life. So you did what you believed was the best to do for your heart. You never answered.

I confess I can tell that you are at your best I'm selfish so I'm hating it You hated it but you still knew every single part of Charles by heart. You'd learned over the years how to decipher every single one of his expressions, even the ones Charles thought nobody would notice. You knew what a half-smile meant, what the subtle frown hid and what the quick eyes puckering could be translated as. And this particular knowledge of Charles' feelings also meant that you totally knew that he was lying when he was claiming to be really happy for you. Charles hated it, he wanted to disappear, to go back in time and never let you leave because he’d never been as happy as you'd made him ever since. You knew that, you could read in the discrete clenching of his jaw.

You weren’t supposed to meet, not more than two years after your last interaction. Charles' message had been left unanswered and he’d never sent another. But awards season was always the theatre of a lot of unwanted encounters.

Charles was as beautiful as ever in his white turtleneck and black pants. His eyes sparkled when they met yours and there was nothing you could’ve done to avoid the conversation.

“You look quite good, Y/N.” You shivered, you hated the way your entire body still reacted to the simple sound of Charles' voice. “How’ve you been ?”

“I- erm…” You hated yourself for having to clear your throat, “I’ve been alright, thanks for asking. I didn’t know you’d be here tonight. I thought you were on tour.”

Charles smiled when you admitted knowing his schedule. “Yeah, I wasn’t supposed to come but then they sent the guest list and I don’t know, I guess I figured I’d stop by.” He wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that he was openly flirting with you.

You hated the way you'd missed out on most of the ceremonies because you did not feel ready to face Charles. You'd been right. The sight of Charles' ringed fingers, his grown hair, the sparkle in his eyes, the smelling of his very own scent that hadn’t changed a bit ; it all made you weak. You just knew by the look on Charles' face that you were sharing the same thought : how could you have let go of what you had ?

"Well I’m glad you’re here.” You weren’t, but you hoped you weren’t as easy to decipher as Charles was so that you could keep the act on long enough to be convincing. “I’m pretty sure you’re going to win every single one of these things. You always do.” This last part was genuine : Charles was one of the most talented people you knew and even though you had no idea what his new album sounded like, you were pretty confident it was good.

“Oh thanks, Y/N. I’d be surprised if your movie didn’t win anything tonight. How ‘bout we go out after that, huh ? I mean, if I get to win something and to see you, this night might become the best I’ve had in a while.” His green eyes were reflecting a malicious light that almost made him look mischievous. You felt a knot forming in your stomach. You knew it was physically impossible to refuse Charles' offer but also knew how bad of a choice it would be. You were stuck weighing pros and cons in your mind, well aware that your silence was getting a bit too long. You hated the way Charles' presence made it almost impossible for you to think straight.

Your phone rang in you pocket, a sort of a way out you clung to. “Hi, baby, where are you ?” On the other end of the line, Daniel, your new boyfriend – was it really a boyfriend if the only thing you shared was an appreciation for each other’s body and a fear of being entirely alone ? – answered but you didn’t listen to anything he was saying. Instead, you focused on Charles' visible frown and the tears that he was fighting back. He mouthed something that looked like “I’ll see you”, though you both knew it wasn’t true and left without ever looking back. It took you a couple of seconds to process what had just happened before you were able to concentrate on what you were being told.

What Charles never let you know – perhaps because he hated how uncontrollable his feelings for you were – was how big of a mess your encounter had turned him into. He then fully understood that he’d lost you, that it was over, your love had supposedly died when he still believed he would be able to bring it back to life. He hated himself for being selfish, for hating it when you looked so well, for being the one unable to get over it. His wound was still bleeding when yours seemed to have already healed, at least from what he’d seen. And it was at that moment, as he was curled up on his bed, wondering if he was a bad person for hating the way you could be happy without him, that Charles started writing Cherry.

[...]

You hate the way your eyes will look reddish and puffy for the rest of the flight as much as you hate the tears that are running down your cheeks. You secretly hope your neighbour won’t notice your unease and replay Cherry. You already know you've missed out on some lyrics and you don’t want to. You want to hear every single one of Charles' words, the ones that seemed to have been written only for you to hear.

And suddenly, you hate the fact that other people have been able to hear this song (even more so that they did it before you). It feels like such an invasion of Charles' intimacy, of what he has shared with you. Everything sounds so obvious – from the lyrics to the title, reminding you of how you'd learnt a French endearment and always used it to call Charles : chéri, chéri, chéri – it’s an open window on your relationship and the way its ending was handled, the effect you had on Charles.

But then, now that you think about it, you also come to the realisation that, except for those of your friends that know and the few people in Charles' life that are aware of the two-year-long relationship you had, no one knows that you and Charles even kept in touch once the promotion of your movie ended. It’s not an absurd logic : you don’t think Charles has ever seen any of the other actors in years. And this, the fact that for the majority of people, what you had never existed, brings more tears to your eyes. Nothing in the song gives off any hint on who it is written to for people who’re not close to Charles. You somewhat feel deceived. As much as you hate the feeling of losing some privacy, you hate the fact that you can’t really brag about this song being about you. It is a beautiful song, you have the right to feel quite proud of inspiring it.

It must be the fourth time Cherry replays when you catch on some line and realize that, intentionally or not, Charles has left a hint as to who’s the song about. It is not really obvious but you know how fans are eager to decipher any small details.

I noticed that there's a piece of you in how I dress

You had hated this interview. Six months had eventually gone by after Charles' last attempt of talking to you when Alex and Lily had shown you the extract. You were in their apartment, sharing a bottle of wine and a pack of cigarettes, having just learnt that Alex had gotten the role in the movie he’d auditioned for.

“I never thought he was hurting as much as you did before I saw this” he had said, lighting another cylinder. His living room was already full of smoke. “but I swear, I might not be the closest to Charles, but I’d never seen him look so sad, Y/N” he had added as he was searching the video.

It was one of Yuki Tsunoda’s restaurant interviews. Charles looked as good as ever and you had hated the way you'd had to repress a smile from appearing on your face. Something looked different but you couldn’t point out what it was. In the restaurant, Yuki asked Charles about his fashion style evolution. You couldn’t figure out why Alex wanted you to watch this.

“I don’t really think I tell myself : oh yeah, this is the kind of style that I’m going to go for. I truly believe that my outfits are a way of expressing the way I feel and also that the people who surround me have a great influence on the way I dress. I mean, you asking that is funny because right this morning I looked at myself in the mirror and I started thinking of the way, you know,” and suddenly, in a matter of moments, Charles' eyes had started shining from tears that threatened rolling down his cheeks. His voice sounded hoarse and full of sobs, “there’s quite literally a piece of the person I love in how I dress. I still have some clothes that I used to steal from our closet and that I forgot to give back. Like this,” Charles pointed at his sweater, “this one’s Y/N's but I love it”.

The name had slipped out of his mouth but neither he, nor Yuki, seemed to have noticed, too focused on his emotions (Charles had to actually wipe a tear) to care. But you had noticed and so had others. So had Alex and Lily.

But this wasn’t what had retained most of your attention. There was no point in lying but you had hated the way you'd loved hearing Charles refer to you as the person he loved.

I just miss your accent and your friends

It happened once. Between their infamous encounter which had led to Charles starting to write Cherry and the day he finished the song, you and Charles had only talked once.

You had broken up more than two years ago and yet, you couldn’t say that you were over Charles. It would’ve been safer to just say that you'd just learned to live without him. But you'd gotten pretty good at it. It struck you sometimes at night and you would find yourself crying in your pillow. But then, you were able to go on for days and weeks without thinking about Charles. Things still reminded you of what you had shared but it did not make you automatically cry anymore. It was pretty much like learning how to live with a missing limb. You can live without it, sometimes you can even forget that it’s not there, but somehow it always feels like something should be here and isn’t.

That’s what you tried to explain to Alex as you were heading for the bar in which Carlos and Pierre were waiting for you. All of you had met while filming the movie Carlos directed. Alex, Pierre and you starred in it as well as Charles who also created the soundtrack. You all got awards for it.

“You guys are so late it should be illegal.” Pierre said as he tried to look annoyed. His face almost immediately broke into a smile. “I’m glad to see you.”

You laughed as you sat down next to him, a pint of beer already waiting on the table. “We all know it’s because of Alex.”

"Shut it, Y/L/N."

“Well, at least, you’re not as late as Charles. He’s the worst.”

Your eyes went wide hearing Charles. Except for Alex, none of the boys knew how hard it was for you to get through this breakup. They all believed you when you swore to be over him. You couldn’t blame them for inviting him, you just had to play pretend. “Oh, erm… I didn’t know he was coming tonight, I-I thought he was still in Monaco.”

It was Pierre who had told you that Charles was now splitting his time between the two cities and you had felt a sort of relief mixed with this silly feeling of regretting the way things had become.

“Oh no, he’s not. Speaking of the devil !”

You didn’t even have to raise your eyes to feel Charles' gaze planted on you. Yet you did and for a minute, as your eyes crossed, it felt like there was no one else but the two of you in the entire pub. He was still as beautiful as ever, just like you remembered him to be, but something had changed. Charles was no longer the young man you'd known, he’d grown into a real man and was now entering his golden age. It saddened you to realise that you were both evolving without the other one to witness the changes but it quickly faded away as you felt your stomach twisting with desire.

“God, I missed you guys !” Charles almost cried after breaking eye contact with you, something that seemed to have cost him an effort.

You internally thanked your friends for being so chatty. The night had been going on for a while now without requiring too much effort from you. You mostly drank, comfortably seated in the settee and squeezed between Pierre and Carlos. You also tried to discreetly check Charles out, though you weren’t really sure your glances had gone unnoticed. You couldn’t resist it. It felt so weird to see him, just a couple of metres away from you.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you’d be here.” God, you hated unisex bathrooms. His green eyes met yours through the mirror. His cheeks were a bit reddish and you couldn’t say if it was because you were here or it simply resulted from the heat of the pub.

“You mean, here as in the toilettes, sorry, in the bathroom or here in the pub ?” You knew he was tipsy from the casualness of his voice. Charles squinted as your gaze took an inquisitive look. “Are you mad at me ? For coming ?”

“I”m not.” A sigh escaped your mouth. The water was still running from the tap. “What are you doing here, Charles ?”

“I don’t know.” You were now side by side.

“I had forgotten about this you know, the way you squeeze French words in the middle of sentences. It's funny, I guess I just miss your accent and that, being there with our friends.” You could imagine the heat of Charles' skin and the way his lips would feel if he kissed you just right here. You shook you head ; Charles wasn't the only one affected by alcohol but you weren’t just tipsy, you were completely drunk.

“Oh, really.” He was trying not to sound unsettled, you knew it. “Is that your way of saying that you just miss me ?”

You chuckled and his green eyes sparkled. “You get to choose, Charlie. Is that your way of telling me you’re missing me too ?”

You hated the way you had missed the taste of Charles' lips and how his hands clung to you body when you kissed. The water was still running from the tap.

[...]

“Did you like it ?” Charles is literally glowing under the Monégasque sun. His skin is a little tanned and you love how weak in the knees it makes you feel. You're in his garden, drinking beers and smoking. The sky is so blue it seems endless. You love the way it feels like summer.

“What are you talking about ?” Charles' hand strokes you bare arm gently as you're laying on the grass. You're so relaxed you're not even thinking about the hours you spent crying on the plane. Your eyes are still reddish and puffy, though.

“Cherry. Did you like it ? I mean, you obviously cried but I hope it is because you regret boycotting me during all these years.”

“I hated it.” You answer, eyes closed. You can feel Charles' body shifting. He’s now looking at you from upon you guess since you feel his breath crashing on your face. “As much as I hate you.” You add, smiling.

This time, it’s Charles who kisses you. You love how there’s nothing to hate.

#f1 x reader #charles leclerc x reader #reader insert #alternate universe #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #charles leclerc imagine

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mebeindelulu · 9 months

Text

He calls you clingy - Im Changkyun

bf! Changkyun x fem! reader . a little bit of angst, fluff .

After a whole day spent at the university, finally you could meet your boyfriend Changkyun. So you picked up the take out and rushed to the studio where he was working on his new album.

When you arrived, the door was slightly opened so you quickly noticed that two people were talking inside.

"Uh... I can't go with you bro. Yn will be here in a minute. We spent littleraly the whole day yesterday but she can't live without me." You heard him ironically laughing, "I love her but Jesus... She is so clingy sometimes that it is annoying".

You were so so confused. You've never heard something like that from Changkyun. Yesterday you both had really a good time from coffee date, cooking dinner together to watching your favourite movies and walking around the Han river at night. And the whole idea about spending almost the whole day together was his idea, so hearing that you are "clingy" and that he has enough of you really got the worst insecurities out of you. Tears started to form in your eyes as you turned around and stormed out of the building.

In the bus you texted Changkyun that something in the university came up and you have to stay longer so you won't come to the studio today. When you arrived at your tini apartment you decided to drink the sadness away with wine.

To give Changkyun more space that he "needed", you thought that it will be a good idea to not text with him too much and to not meet with him as well this week. And the word part was that it looked like he is totally fine with that.

After one day that you declined his phone call saying that you have classes, he didn't call you anymore. And after two days instead of replaying to his "Good morning baby, how are you?" as you usually did sending him selfie or describing your day by the voice message, you only replayed "good, I'm just bussy" and he stopped to text you first. So you both were barely texting at all.

After a week of going to university and spending all your free time sitting alone in the apartment, your best friend could tell that there is something that is bothering you, so she told you to get ready because you are going to a party Friday night.

At the party you drink a few drinks and had fun dancing with your friends. You need that kind of distraction from overthinking your relationship and crying every night because your biggest fears came true: he got bored of you. At least that was what you thought.

One of your friends took photo of your group on the dance floor and posted on Instagram with caption "the single ladies", which could get interpreted wrong. Most of the girls in your group were not single. But the song that was played at the time when you were dancing was Beyonce's "Single Ladies" and that's why she added that caption. It had nothing to do with if you are taken or not.

When you were at the party, Changkyun was working at the studio, just like for the last couple weeks, working on his album. And he even wouldn't know that you are at the club if not his friend sent him a screenshot of your friend's "Single Ladies" post.

He suddenly got jealous and betrayed. You said that you will study all night and that's why you can't meet with him, when he asked if you want to spend the evening with him. It hurt him that you avoided him last week, but also he tried to understand you since you were studying so hard for the exams that are coming next week.

He couldn't understand why you didn't even texted him anymore like you used to. A single selfie and "good morning jiagi" would be enough for him. But there was only silence for the past week. And when he texted first you gave him only short replies.

But also deep down he knew that sometimes you need some time alone to isolate yourself from others and be alone with your own thoughts. And he thought that after isolating yourself from people you will come back to normal life and spend a lot of time with him.

But after seeing that you are at the club instead of being with him, he thought that something must be wrong. So he decided that it's enough. Changkyun put on his coat, took his car keys and rushed to the club that you were in (thankfully your friend added a location to her post).

You was standing by the bar with a drink in your hand when some tall guy joined you.

"Hi, what are you doing here?... Alone?"

You could tell that he is handsome, but weren't interested. Your friends were dancing on the dance floor but you were not in the mood to join them do you stayed here, drinking. But you didn't wanted to give such a classy answer so you decided to be a little bit cocky since you had nothing to do.

"And why are you asking, hmm?" He laughed at your question and tried to lean closer to you. But you took a step back. It was too much for you.

"Because a beautiful women like you shouldnt be alone in a place like that." He said putting his hand on your hips, which you immediately shaked off.

And at this moment someone pushed the man away. It was Changkyun. "Don't come close to her, she's mine. Understand?" You could see his jaw clenching.

"Okay, okay. Got it. Chill man." The guy said laughing and walking away.

You were happy that he was here but at the same time you were confused how he knew where you've been.

"Changkyun? What are you doing here?"

"I should ask you the same question!!!" He yelled at you. "What was that? Who was this guy?" He was really mad. And you didn't like that he yelled at you like that... especially when you didn't do anything wrong.

He was angry seeing some guy that close to you, especially that lately you distanced yourself from him.

You suddenly become anxious, tears forming in your eyes, you lowered your head down. When Changkyun saw that you become tense, he shook his head and sadness took over his anger. He hated seeing you crying. And he knew that you really badly endure if someone is yelling at you.

"It's okay, I'm sorry. I didn't wanted to yell at you. I'm sorry." His voice soften as he took a step forward and took your hands in his. You relaxed by his touch.

"Let's go home, Okay?" You nodded your head to his question.

"But first I have to tell girls that I'm leaving" and as you said you quickly swiped of tears and went to the dance floor where girls were dancing and said that you are leaving with your boyfriend. Of course they wanted you to stay and tried to hold you but Changkyun intervened and they let you go.

You were driving in silence for the most of the ride. And it wasn't a comfortable silence. You both could feel the tension.

"Sooo you still didn't answer my question. What you were doing at the party? I thought that you were studying tonight." He asked looking at the road and avoiding an eye contact. You felt so terrible. You didn't want to lie to your boyfriend but you still was sad that he thought that you are clingy. And studying was an excuse to not to spend time with him and give him space. But right now you started to have doubts about it.

"I was but Mia decided that they can't leave me alone so I had to go with them." You answered mirroring Kyuns behaviour, looking ahead on the road.

"Oh, so you have time to go out to drink but you don't have time to give me at least one call, huh?" You could feel that he was hurt. But so you were too.

"I thought that I'm a burden to you so I decided to give you space..." You put your head low and started to play with your fingers.

At that time you arrived at your apartment parking.

"What? I've never said anything like that. Where did you get this from?" Finally he turned to look at you.

"But you did say something like that. About a week ago, when I came to the studio the door to your room was open and I've heard you complaining about me to Soobin. You said that you have enough of spending a lot of time with me and that I'm clingy. So I decided not to come in and instead I went home." Holding his both hands on the wheel he listened to you carefully as you quietly explained your point of view.

"I don't even know what to say right now YN." he looked at you with mixed emotions. You couldn't say if he is angry, sad or just disappointed. "Then don't say anything" that proved that he didn't care about you so you wanted to get out of the car as quick as possible but his hand on your shoulder stopped you.

"Don't. Please. I'm sorry, listen..." When you looked at him with teary eyes he thought that his heart stopped. It really hurt you what he said a week ago. Changkyun took your hand and hold in his both hands.

"Yn, baby. I didn't want to say that. I didn't mean that, really." He hold your chin and put it up so you were looking at him. "I love you and I love spending time with you, please believe me." A tear went down your face and he swiped it with his thumb.

"I just had a hard day. We are finishing my album and everything is just stressing me out. I know that it is not an excuse but I seriously had no idea why I said that, I'm sorry."

"Can I hug you?" You asked shyly and Kyun immediately hugged you caressing slowly his hand on your back and the other hand patting gently your head.

"If I ever say something like that again just punch me in the face" He said, which make you laugh.

"Do you want me to stay with you for the night?" He asked While still hugging you. You pulled out from his embrace. "Yes, if you can..."

"Of course I can baby" he said kissing your lips.

And that's how you both spent the night drinking wine and talking about this whole week. He said sorry to you a couple more times and promised that you are his favourite person and he will never have enough of you.

End.

#changkyun #im changkyun #i.m changkyun #changkyun monsta x #i.m monsta x #changkyun imagines #changkyun x reader #i.m #monsta x #monsta x au #monsta x fanfic #monsta x imagines #changkyun fanfic #monsta x one shot #monsta x changkyun #changkyun fluff #monsta x angst

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empty-blog-for-lurking · 10 months

Text

i dont know how to explain it but to me udad and hnoc are like opposites of each other. (Under read more, cause it is loooooonnnnng)

With udad the situation everyone is in is bonkers shit. The world they live in is absolutely shithole of a place that exploits everyone but the richest of the rich and the people there cant escape even after their death. Every single one of them is bitter and depressed and wronged and just wants to survive and they'll do anything to survive even if it meant killing the other one. All the natural part of that world is long dead and only thing exists is this cold dark metallic hellscape of a city that swallowed its own planet like a cancer. Almost all the songs are just how everyone was exploited, used, wronged, and discarded they were. Ulysses is a drunk fallen 'hero' completely guilt ridden by their role in Illium's fall. They had lost everyone and everything even before the album began. They spent so much of their throughout album getting their shit beat in. They, Heracles, and Orpheus go to Hades (Ashes) in hopes to be freed whether as a request, through theft, or through a deal. And Ashes all but set them all up to die for their own amusement (which btw very sexy of them <3 but that is besides the point). There seemed to be no hope for them.

And yet, despite everything the ending is so hopeful. We know that Ulysses would die, if it wasnt obvious from the title of the album itself it certainly becomes obvious when we learn how their world works. And yet they died a happier ending, they escaped the curse of their city and died reunited with their love. Ulysses died under an oak tree in a grassy fields, among nature which was thought to be dead since The City's takeover. Ulysses died being warmed by sunlight, a right denied to so many others like them. Ulysses died at dawn.

And then there is hnoc. Hnoc starts heroic. Arthur, Lancelot, and Guinevere take over Camelot from the corrupt Stone clan through their skills and teamwork. They turn it into a place of safety with all three of them incharge. Their lives are hard and filled with violence and hatred and fear and the world they live is harsh and unforgiving. But they still have each other, and they still care for the people around them. There is nature like scorpions and vultures despite it being a space station. The album has songs about love and being in love, about hope of peace, about power of faith. Everyone wants to survive and they are willing to work together to do it. Arthur is embittered by his "daughter's" death but still has his partners to keep him grounded and is ruler/sheriff of a powerful town with lots of knights working for him. What is more, the tragedy that hardened both Arthur and Gawain can be healed because the person they mourn isnt dead, he is Mordred and he is here to make amends. Arthur, Gawain, and Galahad go to Merlin (Brian) to seek aid, and he gives them advice that truly could have saved them, because Merlin really did wanted to save them and the entire station. There seemed to be hope for them.

And yet in the end it meant nothing. It was all for nothing. Alfred and Gawain did not listen to Brian's advice and ended up sealing theirs and everyone else's fate. Galahad did take Brian's advice and it destroyed him in a self sacrifice that ended up being for nothing. Mordred tried so hard for peace but at the end seeing the hatred and cruelty of his world hardened him to the core. Gawain's hatred turned peace talks into war and turned him into sawage barbaric monster he thought Saxons to be. Arthur's hardened core did not let him hope that his child could ever return to him and ended up not giving Mordred even a chance. What could have saved everyone Fort Gallfridian ended up turning into what destroyed Fort Gallfridian whether it be the GRAIL or Mordred. Almost all of them died a pointless avoidable death. And Arthur? Arthur lost everything. He lost his partners, he lost his chance to embrace his son, he lost his home, he lost his people. He may have survived but at the end he lost everything. High noon over Camelot. We didnt understand what it truly meant (all of them dying in the sun) until it was too late.

Ulysses shoots once, and it led to their happy ending. Gawain shoots once, and it led to everyone's tragedy. 3 shots all for Ulysses and it killed them. 3 shots for Arthur, Lancelot, Guinevere, and it hurt Arthur but never killed him. Ulysses was the only one who got to die under the sun, Arthur was the only one who didnt die in the sun.

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abiiors · 6 months

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secret santa 🎄 // ross macdonald x reader (pt 1 of 2)

twelve days of christmas - day 1

a/n: back in my posting fic era?? this could either be so so good or so horrendous! i am undecided. ps: the band mentioned in this fic is made up cw: very slight angst but that's about it wc: 2k

need to pick secret santa names pls!!!!!!!!!!

that’s matty’s annual reminder text that pings through your phone; every 25th of november at 9 am like clockwork (almost like he schedules it). the exclamation points are generous, excessive even. but you smile and text him back.

and almost like clockwork, everyone is at his house on the 1st.

the hang out is like usual—everyone is loud and chaotic and happy. ross makes everyone drinks and he’s generous with the whiskey. matty swears he’s so cold, his fingers are going to fall off. george and charli shoo him away when he tries to cuddle with them and you ultimately take pity on him and share your blanket.

you laugh till your stomach hurts and giggle at john dancing with polly and take a thousand selfies. and everyone cheers once the jar with everyone’s names is brought out.

matty stands on the sofa with the blanket wrapped around him like a cape and announces the “commencing of the annual secret santa”. he’s dramatic, he always is, and everyone revels in it.

you watch him shake the jar and then toss its contents on the coffee table. the folded pieces of paper fall down one by one like falling snowflakes and everyone scrambles for one; one of george’s rings scratches your hand and you accidentally end up stealing a paper from adam but no one cares amidst childlike excitement. everyone holds their chits close to their chest, throws long secretive glances at each other and the room fills with sounds of paper rustling as everyone opens them all at once.

you don’t. you watch the look on everyone’s face.

carly smiles wide (so she has adam) and adam frowns slightly (so he does not have carly). george groans but it has an undertone of fondness (matty), charli smirks (either ross or you, reading her is hard) and ross simply shrugs (probably george) before anyone can notice, you unfold the paper and stop the moment the first letter comes into view.

r…

one by one the other letters join in and you try and fail to contain your smile. ross! exactly who you wanted, exactly who you were hoping for!

you spend two whole days tracking it down, the coveted last record of divine connection. you follow every rumour diligently, every single piece of information anyone gives you online until you come across someone who seems trustworthy. someone who knows what they’re talking about.

it’s important that you get this—the last ever unreleased album from the band that shaped your and ross’ early friendship memories, provided the soundtrack to all those stolen joyrides, all the inside jokes and references that linger between you like a secret language.

it’s important for you to have this, for him to have this—a silent acknowledgement of all the feelings you’ll never confess out loud.

so you stay vigilant. you ask them how they managed to get a copy (they know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a guy who ran the recording studio where it was recorded) the anonymous seller even agrees to let you listen to the first two songs as a sample. the negotiation takes hours! in the end, you relent. it’s for ross, you don’t care what the price is, you only daydream about the look of utter fucking joy on his face.

one week later, ross texts in the group chat.

can we do the draw again? please! there’s someone i want to introduce you to.

jealousy is not in your blood, or so you thought until you see her on his lap, smiling the most radiant smile you’ve ever seen.

olivia (or liv, which is what she insists everyone calls her) is fucking perfect. there’s no denying it. she’s been here exactly 37 minutes and she’s already won matty over who was previously grumpy about having to redo the draw. and now you sit on one end of the sofa, watching them all laugh at the jokes you laugh at and retell her anecdotes that are supposed to be inside jokes.

a sour taste settles on your tongue like you’ve just sucked on a particularly nasty lime wedge.

olivia laughs sweetly.

“thanks for being so nice to me,” she says to everyone, you included, “for including me in the secret santa. i told ross you didn’t have to!”

he waves the comment away like it’s nothing, pecks her cheek even, and the anger in you drains away into a tired sadness.

liv is his type. not you, never you. you’re the best friend! he’s even said so multiple times. and when her smile lights up his entire face, you can’t help but feel like a bitter cunt.

“no worries darling! the more the merrier.” you almost scowl at george at that but hide it with a cough at the last minute.

your phone practically burns in your pocket—a message in particular, the one from the seller, telling you they’re ready to ship it as soon as you confirm payment. it’s unanswered because the fate of it currently hangs in the balance as the minutes tick by.

for the second time that week, matty brings out the jar of names, and this time they scatter on the coffee table like hail, dumped all at once. you don’t scramble to pick a chit with childlike glee. you don’t bother deciphering the looks on people’s faces. all but two that is! it’s impossible to look away from him when he smiles so sweetly—eyes crinkling and dimples on display. fondness is painfully clear on his face and you know what that paper says.

next to him, liv’s entire face brightens.

do you want it or not? i’ve got other buyers lined up mate.

you can feel the sender’s annoyance through the screen. it’s justified though, you’ve practically ghosted them for three days.

the real question is do you even want it anymore?

you adore matty, the new name on your paper but he has no connection to the band. that’s solely a thing between you and ross, not something you’d be willing to share with matty even tho he’s an occasional listener. logically you know he’d appreciate it solely as a collector. but the thought of anyone else having it apart from ross, even if that someone is matty, burns a hole in your chest.

and so you text back.

i still want it.

and then you send them the money.

the record sits at the bottom of your drawer, taunting you every time you open it to take out a new pair of socks (quite often considering it’s december). and you try to cover it with the book you got for matty (a first edition classic that has faint pencil annotations rumoured to be from the author himself) but your heart quickens at the prospect of any damage to the vinyl—an item currently more valuable than every single thing in your house.

so that’s how it sits, nestled carefully between thick wollen socks, collecting dust until you decide what to do with it. maybe it’ll make a good birthday present for him. and yet it feels oddly personal now that he has liv in his life.

it’s a foreign feeling, you realise, strangely hollow and ache-y, to feel like you’re being too personal, too intimate with a man you consider your best friend (perhaps even more so than he’s aware of).

it’s especially difficult when his invitation sits in your phone unanswered.

come see the practice show for the uk leg with us.

you want to. so so badly! to watch him be excited and involved and happy with what he’s doing. you especially love the spark in his eyes when he has a new idea, a new trick up his sleeve. to sit there the whole time and watch him in his element might just be the best thing ever.

so you weigh the pros and cons—it will be like the old times again! liv might be there… but she might not! and even if she is, you can live with it, you can do it.

and so you text him back and promise to meet up with him in an hour.

turns out liv is there.

not only is she there, she’s also involved herself in the process—lending out small ideas here and there, praising someone when she loves a particular detail. you want to be mad at them all for betraying you like this; for becoming so enamoured with her so quickly, despite knowing how childish it sounds.

it’s not their fault you buried your feelings in so deep that they never even had the chance to guess.

still, polly’s gaze lingers on you every once in a while, particularly when ross and liv kiss (although you chalk it up to coincidence even when she makes an effort to involve you in the conversation)

“you put so much thought into it!” she compliments while flicking through the selection of dvds that will go into the house eventually. you want to tell her it’s your job, to look throught the films. how you and ross always make a movie night out of it but of course she catches you staring at the stack.

“wait, ross told me the two of you always end up watching half the films from the stack instead of picking them out!” she giggles slightly and you jolt at the surprise of being addressed so directly out of nowhere.

“yeah… yeah i guess. it just kind of happens!”

she hums in response. “a friend movie date, that adorable!”

this time ross smiles with her. yeah. a friend movie date. what a fucking oxymoron. and yet you paste a smile onto your face and nod like a malfunctioning robot.

“it’s really fun, yeah!”

“you should join us next time, babe,” ross chimes in and a pit forms in your stomach. of course he’d want that, for his girlfriend to be there. but the silence that settles over the room is an odd one. and no one speaks of the movies after that.

liv approaches you when you’re alone, sneaking a tiny cig by the window.

she tries small talk and it fizzles out within minutes, then she tries empty compliments but it’s clear she’s here with a motive. she’s here to ask you something and so you decide to be direct.

“can i help you with anything, liv?”

she smiles a sheepish little smile and wrings her hands together. “well… yeah, you guessed it. i’m uh… i need your help.”

that piques your curiosity. what could you possibly help her with? until she glances behind her and vaguely in ross’ direction where he’s busy chatting with jordan and then back at you.

“don’t tell ross but…i’ve got him for secret santa and i really want to give him something special, you know? i really like him and i don’t just want to give him something super generic just because we’re still getting to know each other. and i thought you’d know since you guys are really close, so i thought…” she takes a deep breath and puffs out her cheeks. “i thought i’d ask you!”

the next time she smiles, it’s a brilliant little thing directed entirely at you and maybe for the first time you really see what ross might like about her. even when you want to laugh at the fucking irony.

here’s his girlfirend, struggling to find the perfect gift and then here you are, letting the perfect gift collect dust in your sock drawer.

you look behind her and at ross who quickly averts his gaze from the two of you and back to jordan. his shoulders tense for a split second, followed by an imperceptible shake of his head. this is it, you think. your chance to do something selfless for once. so you smile back at her and make sure it’s at least half genuine this time.

“you know what, liv? i think i have exactly what you need…”

lemme know what you think <33

taglist: @scooby-doodoo @partoftheairforce @justgoatsbreakinghearts0855 @beachesgetpeaches @you-muppet @mcabister @alexmarie29 @at-her-very-foreign @hfkait @squishysoupy @sierraeslaprincesa @harrie-fic-center @alien-girl-violet @thereisaplaceintheheart @kennedy-brooke @lolidontknowanymore @theoriginalwhatsername @celestcies @sugarkane1001 @ari-turner @thewaywewereinsaigon @daphnesutton @beliefandsayingsomething @ros3chu @nothingrevealedeverythingdenied @zzzhealy @mattymybeloved @fck-off @indiaamars @sofaritsalrightt @k4tie75 @wondersecret @humptyhoran @indierockgirrl @hanbiior @moreyoulove-moreyouknow @rossgirly @if-my-heart-bleeds @little-lovely-darling @abriefnirvana

add yourself to the taglist

#christmas75 #12 days of christmas #the 1975 #ross macdonald #ross macdonald x reader #ross macdonald x you #ross x reader #ross x you #ross macdonald angst #the 1975 angst #minor angst #matty healy #george daniel #adam hann

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chicken-fifi · 8 months

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Stray Kids Reaction | They Have a Crush on You

Pairing: Stray Kids Members x GN!Reader

Requested by anon: Can you do a headcanon for stray kids and Unrequited love (when they have a fat crush on the reader) (gender neutral please)

Genre: angst

A/n: the pain i felt while writing this. surprisingly enough, i've had a lot of stray kids x crush!reader reactions from many different scenarios (ie. player, shirtless, comfort level, etc.) i would consider this the first one that delves into what they're like when they have a crush.

Bang Chan: Literally a blubbering mess half of the time. Christopher is flustered at the sound of your name so when you’re in front of him, he’s a goner. He’s shaking and stuttering and just can’t seem to get a grip over himself as he tries to hold a conversation with you. The man you see on stage performing and driving everyone nuts, it no where to be found. But there’s no way you would even look at him or spare a glance at the sparkle in your eye. Not when those sparkles belong to Changbin.

“I, I, I, um, sorry! I just- I think I- nevermind.”

Lee Know: Unlike Chris, Minho is able to talk to you comfortably without any problems. Yes he has a massive crush on and does flirt with you openly, but he ends up being heartbroken by how lighthearted you take it. He feels as though you just see him as the weird friend who you can count on to make you laugh and lift up your spirits when you’re down. And he settles with that for a while and then officially when Hyunjin and you are revealed to be dating.

“Did you end up watching the movie you were talking about the other day?”

Changbin: Cheerful and active Changbin uses those two things to try and appeal to you. It does work, eliciting laughs and thoughtful conversations when you’re together. The two of you even end up working out and going on runs together from time to time. Every single time, his heart is beating rapidly as he spends time with you, wondering if you have feelings for him like he has for you. During one of your usual work out sessions he finds out you don’t. How? You suddenly began asking about Jisung and his interests.

“He really likes cheesecake and chocolate cake, but I’m sure whatever you end up getting him he’ll love.”

Hyunjin: Hyujin’s crush on you started the moment you’d listened to all of his worries and gave him good and valid advice. Not once did you judge him for any of his worries, no matter how mundane they may have seemed. He fell hard for you and tried his best to be there for you in your times of need. He listened to your worries, tried to ease any burdens you may be feeling, and attempted to lift your spirits. And then Felix thanked him one day for helping you out when he couldn’t. He’d never been as heartbroken as he was then.

“If you’re somewhere, it’s because you are meant to be there. You told me that yourself, remember?”

Han: In this scenario, we’ll say the two of you bonded over your love for cakes and other sweet/semi sweet pastries. It became part of you guys’ daily routine to go out to various cafes, bakeries, pastry, and dessert shops to try different types of cheese and chocolate cakes to find the best in the city. He’d made up his mind to tell you how he felt the next time the two of you went to a bakery only to be left speechless when you made a comment about asking Seungmin to bring her for your next date.

“Oh, yeah. It does seem suitable for couples, doesn't it?”

Felix: With you being a rather prominent songwriter, it was natural for you and Felix to get close, especially considering the constant presence you held when the group was writing and producing songs for upcoming albums. Something about the way you’re able to write something so beautiful that speaks to him in a song. In short he fell for your way with words and just as he finished building up the courage to ask and entertain the idea that you would accept a possible date, Jeongin comes into the picture in the form of a very comfortable kiss and displays of affection.

“That line you wrote in the other song was incredibly moving. You’re a poet.”

Seungmin: Unlike Chris who gets flustered around you, Seungmin gets a bit more, more reserved, but he doesn’t choke horribly. His shyness when it comes to you is only with words. He won’t say much but he does a lot. He isn’t shy to show he likes you. He passes you salt, napkins, gets you a drink, even casually brings over some snacks without you needing to say a word. He just does it. And while it may come across as him simply being a good host or dinner mate, he doesn’t do it out of obligation, he does it because he wants to. But then Christopher starts doing those things when you’re around and he adds a particular word in front of his questions, “Love?”

“I didn’t know you two were seeing each other. Is this a recent development?”

I.N: Another shy person, but this time shy and flustered. Jeongin is already a pretty clumsy person, add you into the mix and he’s falling and tripping everywhere. He can’t help but crush even harder on you as you constantly help him and worry over him. It’s so genuine and you don’t fault him for being human. But he notices that that’s as far as you ever go. Helping him. You don’t have deep conversations with him like you do with Minho, and for that he wishes he could’ve been more straightforward.

“Thanks for helping me again. I really do appreciate it.”

#kpop reactions #stray kids #stray kids masterlist #stray kids reactions #bang chan #lee know #changbin #hyunjin #han #felix #seungmin #i.n

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lunaekalenda · 1 year

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the haikyuu boys as love songs <3

kuroo: mikrokosmos - bts

perhaps the reason this night looks so beautiful / It's not because of these starts or lights, but us.

His way of loving is so pure and bright, so luminous and tender and warm. He's so full of soft smiles, side looks, he's always caring for you silently. He often finds himself wondering about the future with you slept by his side, arms tangled and the feeling that this is what he's been looking for all this time. He wants to make memories with you, and he can't thing of a better way to light up his days that you, your smiles, your kisses, your hugs and your voice. It doesn't matter how bad the situation looks, if you're together, there's still a way to go through it.

bokuto: hijos contigo - lérica

I wanna have kids with you / A little dog and a house from one of those postcards / I want us to last together, make it rich / And marry where your mother wants

His love is playful, flirtatious and he's deeply in love with you. He teases you as much as when you used to be friends, it's common to hear your mixed laughs around your shared apartment. He not only wants to hear your laugh all his life, but he wants to make you laugh, to make you smile. He is full of surprises, and he always know how to make you feel better after a bad day. He will take care of you as much as he wants, and definitely, spoil you. And spoil any kids or dogs or kitties that will have the luck to join your family.

akaashi: words - jacob whitesides

I wanna tell you you're beautiful / In a way you have not heard before.

Akaashi's love is full of acts of service and, specially, little details he makes for you. From leaving a tiny flower bouquet on your desk when you work, to write you a love letter each anniversary. He insisted in getting an album where he saves all the pictures he takes of you when you travel together. When the world feels too heavy for his arms, you're the only calm place he can think of, to return to your arms and let you hug him and speak for hours. You're his confident, his best friend, his lover and his soulmate. He really wants to be a pillar for you as much as you're for him, even unconsciously, because the single sight of you makes his heart beat in calm.

keishin: she’s in the rain - the rose

You wanna make yourself go through the pain / It's better to be held than holding on

His way of loving is strong, deep and really worked. He wants it to work, he wants you to feel safe. He likes to talk with you about the things you like, about the things you don't, always making sure to know how to solve any problem that your relationship may find. He knows love is hard, and not made for lazy lovers, so he really wants to make it right. He cares deeply for your well-being, and he knows that life can be exhausting, but he'll be with you. You don't need to be alone through the bad times, because he's by your side.

iwaizumi: million little reasons - oscar lang

There’s a million little reasons / For why I want you near / If I tried to write them down / I’d run out of ink

He loves purely, with all his heart and body. Being by his side feels like the very first rain of sunshine, like when the flowers bloom in spring. Feels warm, safe. His love was built little by little, thing by thing, and every new one he discovered make he fell harder and harder for you. The way your nose makes that cute movement when you're angry, the way your eyes smile before your mouth, the way your lips pronounce his name against his and how your body searches his on your sleep. You're so full of little things he likes, he would take a long time to say them, but definitely, he's willing to discover even more.

suna: baby i’m yours - arctic monkeys

baby i’m yours / and i’ll be yours until the stars fall from the sky

Suna's love is translated to a hand always near your waist, to a kiss on your forehead while you're still sleeping and he has to leave, to a song you like when you enter the car. His love is shown by little details and tiny acts. Your pic on his wallet, a love letter you wrote him by hand as his lock-screen wallpaper, a print of your lips on his locker. He cares so deeply for you, and his love is so intense and deep he can't imagine himself without you by his side, even when he doesn't say it a lot. But the way he plays with the ring on his fingers when they are winning is a clear indicative that you're his luck and his future.

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forhereyesonlyyy · 10 months

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your love. // stayc, pse. // one-shot.

in which you visit your girlfriend sieun after months of not being around each other, and you both find it hard to control repressed emotions after sieun goes overboard during your moment alone.

word count: 8.4k.

author’s note: my first stayc one-shot!!! i gotta be honest with ya'll i started writing this during asap era but towards the end i kind of lost motivation to continue so that's why it's a bit dragged on because i kinda just started saying anything sihdskfh BUT!!! THIS IS A WORK MADE WITH LOVE!!! i absolutely adore my stayc and girls and i cannot wait for teenfresh GIVE ME THE SONG OF THE LATE SUMMER MY GIRLS!!! p.s. i'm sorry this is sooooo long like omg...

tags: wlw, established relationship, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff towards the end, sieun fucks up, seeun the bestest best friend evver it's true.

warnings: suggestive at one point.

You got the genius idea when you were in your bathroom, staring blankly back at your reflection as you lazily brushed your teeth. You’ve been counting, as lame as that sounds, and in preparation for her upcoming comeback with her group, Sieun has been gone for months too long for you to endure. You missed her badly, but it wasn’t like she has been ignoring you or only talked to you once in a blue moon. No, Sieun always made sure that she texted you or call you during her downtime and in return, when you aren’t drowning in schoolwork, you send her some pictures of your face just to make sure that she doesn’t forget what you look like.

Sieun sends you some photos and even videos as well, and some late-night calls really makes you feel a lot less lonely. But of course you will always want more than that. You don’t even want to think about how long it has been since you last hugged or kissed or simply just looked at your dear girlfriend. And so, that one night, while you were brushing your already incredibly spotless teeth, you decided to surprise Sieun while she’s filming the music video with her members for the lead single of their latest album.

Sieun had told you a week before that they would start filming soon, and that day was today. That time was now, actually. You had arrived at the studio where the filming was taking place, and you’ve already informed some nearby staff about your galaxy brain surprise plan. Now you were just hoping that none of the louder girls spot you and make a scene. As much as you loved the members, you hoped that things would roll smoothly just this once.

You spot Sieun’s gorgeous strawberry blonde hair from a distance, and she was sitting on a chair chatting with a stylist. In front of her sat Sumin and Yoon, and against all of your wishes, Yoon had made eye contact with you and Sumin, sweet as ever, smiled so big upon seeing you. You immediately put your index finger over your lips for damage control and thankfully the two girls recognized the message and pretended you didn’t exist.

You continue making your way behind your sitting girlfriend but then you come to a halt when she suddenly raises her phone. You quickly hid behind a particularly tall staff member, who tried his best to not crack up as you did so. You peeked over the staff’s shoulder and of course, Sieun was indeed taking a picture of herself. Once she was finished, she brought the phone back down to her lap and finally, you make your move.

Just before you could put your chin on your girlfriend’s shoulder, you suddenly remember that you are only supposed to be Park Sieun’s good friend (Y/N). Scrapping every single one of your plan to surprise Sieun with a kiss or a hug, you stood frozen on your spot with a new plan. Sieun raises her phone for another picture and since you were literally right behind her chair, you were in the camera as well. You put up a peace sign and on the picture Sieun took, it really just looked like you photobombed her.

It took Sieun a few seconds but then she finally spots you on the picture and quickly turns around, then she confirms that yes, you are actually there.

“(Y/N), oh my God!” Sieun stands up from her chair and runs to engulf you in a tight hug. You felt your heart swell upon feeling your girlfriend’s warmth and if it weren’t for all the people around the two of you, you probably would have broke down in tears because you were not one to control your emotions well. Especially right in front of Sieun, the most important person in your life. You hold back on the hug and made it look as platonic as you could, but then Sieun leans back, keeping her arms around your neck, and ever so slightly her clear eyes shifted from your own down to your lips. You look at her, and you knew that if this embrace lasts for even one more second, you would risk ruining her life forever. So you stepped back, forcing an awkward grin on your lips.

“When did you get here?” Sieun asked. Her tone was shaky and unsure, it seems like she realized her own mistake. She had no idea how much it ate you up inside that you couldn’t even talk to each other publicly without fearing that everything will fall apart.

“Just ten minutes ago. I would’ve arrived earlier but I stopped by the nearest coffee shop and got you and the girls some pastries,” You paused. You didn’t know how strict the company was with the members’ diet, but now that you were here, you realized that you... didn’t really care. Even idols should enjoy food without worrying about gaining some pounds! Come on now, it’s even in your song, STAYC! “You can eat it on your break, or take it home. Just please, I don’t know, eat.” You said.

Sieun takes the box of pastries from your hands, and the brief touch of your fingers was enough to tug at your heartstrings. Your girlfriend turns to put away the pastries, and you take the time to look around the set. J was in the middle of filming her individual scenes, and Seeun and Isa were fooling around with a camera off to the side. It was most likely content for their fans. Looking back at Yoon and Sumin, they were focused on glossing over the delicious food you bought for them and argued about who gets which donut. From near them, Sieun gestures you to come over and so you did.

You sat on the chair across the three girls and hugged your backpack close to your chest. You had another gift, but it was for Sieun and you wanted to give it to her when you two were given a moment of privacy, if ever.

“(Y/N)! You didn’t have to waste your money and get these for us! You should’ve treated yourself instead.” Sumin says. Yoon mutters some words, but you couldn’t understand her since she was munching on a croissant.

You waved your hand, “It’s alright, I don’t mind. Sieun told me you girls have been working really hard for this comeback so I just thought that I could give you all a little something.”

Yoon swallows and wipes the corners of her mouth with a tissue, “Well, I’m glad you did because I have been craving sweet stuff for months! You should come more often! Sieun-unnie, tell (Y/N) to come more often.” The second youngest insists, nudging the second eldest’s shoulder.

Sieun only laughs at the younger girl’s orders, but you know in her heart that it’s what she wants too. There are times where the two of you can spend some solid time together whether it may be outside on a park or just at the comfort of your home. But unfortunately, most of the time, your schedules just don’t work out. When Sieun has a day off, you’re busy with assignments and school-related stuff. Sometimes, Sieun would visit you but even then you would be so distracted that you barely even look at her.

And of course, when you’re not doing much, Sieun is practicing and taking dancing and vocal lessons. You were convinced that the universe was doing its best to tear the two of you apart and there was a time that you almost succumbed to giving up, but you pulled through because you trusted Sieun, and it would break you to just leave her when you know that this was just a small obstacle that the two of you can jump over. Maybe even smash through.

You glanced down on your half-open backpack, and inside there was a red rectangular box with a pink bow tied to it. You chew on your bottom lip, now second guessing your choice. Was a necklace too predictable? You were pretty sure that you have bought Sieun lots of jewelry before, what if she thinks that you put no effort into searching for the perfect gift at all? That was literally your worst nightmare.

While staring holes through the red box, a pair of arms wrapped around your neck from behind and you turn around to see who it was.

“Aw, babe, is that for me? How sweet of you.” Seeun jokes, looking at the content inside your backpack. You rolled your eyes and closed your backpack before gently pushing Seeun away. Having mothers who are friends, you and Seeun were just as close despite having a two-year age difference. Seeun was just a fun person to be around and that was exactly why she was your best friend. You hadn’t known her for a while until your mothers introduced the two of you.

Seeun was the reason you even got to know Sieun on a personal standpoint. You had only seen Sieun on tv until one day, you stopped by their company building for a quick visit and tour from Seeun herself when Sieun happened to be practicing diligently with Sumin, and it all started from there.

“Sure. I would totally give my girlfriend her surprise gift in front of everyone.” You replied sarcastically. Seeun giggles and hugs you again, saying something about how glad she was that you came to visit her and everyone else.

(While you were catching up with Seeun, Sieun was quietly twiddling her thumbs beside Sumin. But of course you don’t see that because you were too busy laughing with your friend. Sieun hated feeling like this, especially towards one of her girls. But she missed you too much, and making her watch you get touchy and chatty with someone else was a lot to ask for.)

After that, Sieun was asked to make her way to the set since it was her turn to film for her individual scenes. You smile at her and mouthed some words of encouragement. Sieun smiles back briefly before going to where the director had told her to stand.

While you certainly enjoyed seeing Sieun in action, whether it may be singing or dancing or acting, you found it quite unfortunate that you couldn’t get to talk much. You loved Seeun, she was your best friend and she makes you laugh like crazy but you just miss Sieun so much. You hoped that sometime this day the two of you will be given a moment to talk. Even a minute would be enough. You just needed to feel connected to her again.

To avoid being a downer for the rest of your visit, you decided to bond with the other members of STAYC. Besides Sieun and Seeun, Isa was the third closest person to you. Not only was she extremely kind towards you, but her overall good-natured aura was almost magnetic. You always find yourself clinging to her because she made you feel good inside. Sieun does not get jealous over that because everyone knew Isa had that effect. Even Sieun herself gets drawn to her.

“She’s great, isn’t she?” Isa asked, watching Sieun work diligently with the camera. You smiled proudly at your girlfriend as the whole directing crew whooped to encourage her. You hadn’t realized that you didn’t reply to Isa as Sieun had completely captivated you. Looking at your smile and the way your eyes were quite literally glued to Sieun, Isa finds herself grinning.

“Do you like her?”

The question completely caught you off guard. You nearly snapped your neck when you turned your head to look at the older girl because from the way she said it, Isa sounded like she knew.

“S-Sieun?” You ended up blurting out. Well, now you looked like a fool. Every member’s eyes were on you, although Yoon did look quite funny since she was still eating some bread. Isa tilts her head innocently. She has no idea what she has just done, bless her heart.

“Yes. You look like you’re her biggest fan. I bet she’s your favorite member.” Isa said. Upon realizing that you might have overreacted, you then mentally slap yourself for getting all jittery and nervous. Because of course Isa wouldn’t guess it that easily. You like to think that you and Sieun have been pretty successful with the whole secret dating thing. The two of you have been official since before STAYC even debuted, albeit just a few months! And not one person has even got a hint that you and Sieun were closer than you like to show to others.

Seeun shakes her head, “That’s impossible! I’m your best friend, therefore I should be your favorite member.”

“No. Me and (Y/N) have the same exact interests. If she were just a regular fan and not our friend, I bet she would like me a lot.” J argued, and so STAYC scream over on top of each other to debate which member you like the most. Only if they knew... but they really shouldn’t.

(From the distance, Sieun watches you grin from ear to ear watching the members fight for your affection. This time, she wasn’t feeling jealous. She felt her heart growing heavy. Not with envy, but rather... love.)

When the mess managed to pass and the girls got serious since they still had some work to do, you asked a staff member to point where the washroom was and thanked them when they provided you with some directions. You must’ve eaten something bad before leaving your house since you were in a hurry. Bringing your bag along, you started following the directions the staff member gave you but then a hand tugs on your sleeve, stopping you from making another step.

“Leaving already?” Sieun asked, retracting her hand slowly. Some of the girls were already changing their outfits, while the others were going over the choreography as they were going to film the group dance clip.

“Oh, no. I was just about to go to the washroom. Well... then I was going to come back and say goodbye because my mom wants my help with some groceries,” You replied. Sieun nods, and then she goes quiet. It seems like she couldn’t get the words out of her throat. You understood why to some extent, maybe, but you did wonder why Sieun would feel nervous around you of all people. “Are you okay? Do you need something?” You asked, concerned.

Sieun shakes her head, then she cautiously looks around. You imitate her actions, trying to understand why she was suddenly like this. Sieun suddenly pushes you into an unknown corner where not even one person would dare to look at or walk by, and then she grabs your face with her hands and kisses you softly.

This was certainly new. The two of you agreed to not even be five meters close whenever you’re around just to avoid speculations, except for ‘platonic’ hugs, but here Sieun was, kissing you in public! Not that you were complaining, your mind was too hazed and all you wanted to do was kiss your girlfriend, so you do exactly that.

You’ve nearly forgotten what Sieun’s lips tasted like. The familiar cherry-flavored chapstick she wore all the time comes back to you, and you couldn’t help but pull her closer just so you can never forget about it ever again. Sieun puts her hands on your shoulders, and you feel her clutch your sweater. It almost felt like she was angry, maybe she was. Maybe she was mad about how things had to be this way, how things had to be so unfair to the both of you.

But of course, you would always be there to remind her that it’s all going to be worth it. Because at the end of the day, you have each other and the harder things get, the more the two of you hold on and the more you never wanna let go. You will always end up like this: in each other’s arms and sharing your love for one another through kisses, or maybe something as simple as a look.

Sieun was the first to break the kiss, she wraps her arms around your neck and presses her forehead against yours, “You have no idea how much I missed you.” She whispered. It sounded like she was on the verge of crying and it broke your heart.

“That’s why I’m here. I just couldn’t wait until the next time you sneak out of your dorm to come to my house.” You confessed, laughing. Sieun had told you through text about how much she feels bad whenever she lies to her members just to see you and plus, you realized that it has been her that was making an effort to see you most often than the other way around so this genius surprise plan of yours was partly made so that you could give her a break.

“I’m glad you did, I couldn’t wait either... I actually wanted to surprise you after today’s filming was done,” Sieun leans further back to look into your eyes. You raised an eyebrow. Of course that was to be expected from Sieun, but you didn’t think she would do it on a work day! “Yeah, I was going to go straight to your house and bother you until you get sick of me.” Sieun joked.

“Now I wish I just stayed put then, I would love for you to try and get me to get rid of you which, spoiler alert, would never ever happen, just saying.” You replied. You leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on top of your girlfriend’s nose.

Sieun hums, “How are you so sure?” She asked, genuinely curious. You couldn’t even believe that she was asking such a question.

“I always want to be with you,” You answered. You kiss Sieun’s lips, but it was short and quick much to her dismay. You laughed a little, and then you hugged her tightly. “I love you.”

It wasn’t the first time you said that, of course not. But it has felt so long since you voiced it out, so much that it feels like it’s the first time, but that was okay. The first time you said those three words, you heart was beating out of your chest and you voice was shaking from nervousness, having been overwhelmed by your own emotions at the time.

Back then, you were in over your head trying to figure out if Sieun felt the same about you because you really were hopelessly in love. And even though she did say it back before and has since been saying the words first sometimes, you were nervous at her reply. Will she just smile at you? Will she leave? Will she just kiss you and then leave? Do you still feel the same?

“I love you so much more.”

Your heart bends, breaks, and heals all at once at your love’s response. It was something that only Sieun could make you feel.

“Good.” You kiss her again. Again, and again until Sieun couldn’t help but laugh. You missed seeing her beautiful smile with your own eyes, and hearing her laugh over the phone didn’t give you the same butterflies as it would face-to-face. How you wished the two of you could just have a whole week— no, that would be too short. You wished that you could be with Sieun for a whole summer because what better way to spend your favorite season than being with your favorite person?! Obviously you had to stop being a brat about your situation and eat it up, but you were Sieun’s biggest fan and you simply had nothing to blame but... the timing of it all.

You briefly glance behind Sieun and your heart nearly drops to your stomach when you spot Yoon’s tall figure passing by, looking confused. With all your heart, you prayed to the Gods that the second youngest wouldn’t dare to enter your little corner. Mostly because you didn’t want anything to cut your moment with Sieun shorter than it has to be.

“Jayoon is going to talk, and they’re all going to start looking for you,” You said. Sieun hums, not seeming to care at all. Her left cheek was pressed against your right shoulder, her lips just barely grazing against your neck, making you shiver. Right. When Sieun misses you too much, she tends to get drunk with... impulse. You weren’t any different, but at least you had more restraint to not commit to doing monkey business in public! “What’s going to be your excuse?” You asked, trying to take your mind off of the trail of kisses Sieun was leaving up your neck.

“What are you trying to do?” Sieun asked, her breath tickling that funny spot behind your ear that she knows pushes you closer to giving in to her.

You hear footsteps getting closer and you start panicking, “One more second away from the set and I swear we get closer to basically telling everyone we’re gonna get married and have three kids, one named after Chaeyoung.”

“Hm. I guess we better do this quickly, then.” Sieun’s hands somehow finds a way to slip under your sweater, and you flinch backwards, both angry and shocked at how your girlfriend was being so careless at the moment.

You try to let her off easy, “Babe, if you can wait four long months then surely you can hold on for a few hours more.” You said. Sieun narrows her eyes, and you just knew that this was going to be bigger than it has to be. But you felt the need to remind Sieun just what she was trying to risk for something so... invaluable. At least that was how you saw it.

“(Y/N), you’re going to have to learn to just take the chance because what if we never get it again? I’m going to start promotions with the girls soon and, as you always seem to be, you’re going to be drilled with schoolwork and when you are, I don’t even feel like there’s a relationship to be lost!” Sieun spat. Again, you couldn’t believe what you were hearing from your girlfriend, but this time for a very different reason.

You grit your teeth, trying to clear your head and avoid saying anything that might make this tiny flame a devastating inferno, “I’m just saying that this isn’t the time nor the place to do this kind of thing, Sieun. I mean... I’m sure it would take some darn good eyes to spot us but what should we do if that happens? Have you ever thought of a way to deal with the consequences? Think about what you’re going to lose! We can’t keep getting away with a ‘near miss’, you know that.” You said.

“You know, one thing I realized about you while we were apart is you are way too invested in making sure that I keep being a singer. That’s sweet, honey, but I have to ask: are you in this for me or my career?” Sieun’s words had tore a hole in your heart, almost literally.

“How could you say that? I—” You briefly paused and kept your voice down to avoid drawing any attention. “I love you.”

(Sieun hears the sincerity in your tone and it eats her up inside.)

“You’ve worked your whole life to get to this point, I don’t want you to throw it all away for something that is worth nothing, or for someone like me,” You take your girlfriend’s hands with yours and you hold them tightly. As if you never want to let go. “We can do whatever you want when you visit me later, okay?” You hoped that this would be enough to stop all the bad feelings and the arguing, but you knew in your heart that the two of you would have to talk about it again in a more civic and mature way.

Sieun slowly pulls her hands away, and God were you so scared of what her next words implied, “There are a lot of things in my life that I can willingly and wholeheartedly throw away my dream for, one of those things is you, (Y/N). You say you love me, but I guess not to the same extent that I love you.”

Something inside you ticks off and once again, you grit your teeth to control your temper. Civil and mature conversation. Civil and mature conversation. Come on, (Y/N), that’s what we’re going for here.

While you were yelling at yourself about keeping calm, Sieun had already started walking back to the set. She apologized to the director and had told everybody that she took it upon herself to show you where the bathroom was. You were left standing alone in that dark corner in utter disbelief. You would have started crying if it weren’t for the fact that you had to leave in approximately five minutes.

You didn’t give yourself a chance to think about what had just happened with Sieun, you were saving that for midnight. Before you could leave the studio, however, you managed to slip the red rectangular box inside Sieun’s bag undetected and finally, you headed home.

Sieun did not visit you.

Not that you really care, not after what went down in the studio. Still, it couldn't be helped that you feel hollow inside your heart. It was the first time Sieun did not visit you when she said that she would. Regardless of whether or not the two of you got into a heated argument, Sieun does not let it last for longer than an hour and takes it upon herself to fix burned bridges.

You thought about apologizing first, but you were afraid that you would be distracting Sieun from her work and you didn't want to make things worse for your relationship. So, you stayed quiet for the whole afternoon. Literally. Even your mother noticed that you weren't talking much, but she didn't say anything about it, which you were thankful for.

You got a message from Seeun an hour after you left. She talked about how everyone was sad that you were only there for such a short time. You didn't give her a reply, mostly because you didn't have the energy to do so. After you helped your mother arrange the groceries, you spent the next few hours sitting on the living room couch and watching endless reruns of old dramas. Occasionally you would open the single novel sitting on top of the coffee table, but you would always find yourself looking back on your phone, hoping that Sieun would at least tell you that she got home safely with the girls.

So far into the evening, nothing.

You sighed, hugging your knees close to your chest. You stared at the tv screen and nearly gagged at the sight of a couple kissing in the most awkward way possible. How typical. You groaned since you reached another ending of an episode and you still haven't moved from your spot due to lack of motivation.

At some point, you spaced out. You started thinking of ways to make it up to Sieun when you inevitably see her again, and you had several scenarios in your head playing out that you didn't notice that your front door had been unlocked and opened. Instinctively, you grabbed the remote and prepared yourself to throw it at the unfortunate burglar that has broken into your home.

“(Y/N)...”

You blink and you realized that it was not a burglar that has broken into your home. Instead, it was the very same girl you had been thinking about the whole day, always. Well, she didn't break into the house. You had completely forgotten about the spare key you allowed Sieun to have. It's been a while since she visited, that's why.

“Sieun...?” You were going to sleep crying about how messy things were between you and your girlfriend, but the she shows up in your house at nearly ten in the evening without warning and you find yourself quite a mess inside your head. There she stood on the other end of the couch, disheveled and exhausted. Possibly from running. You clutched on to the blanket covering your legs, you wanted to wrap it around your girlfriend’s figure to keep her warm, but there were a million questions circling your brain that you couldn’t move from your seat.

Why didn’t she call you? She should be resting and preparing herself for the second day of filming, why is she here? Did she actually run from the dormitory to your house? Is she insane?!

Sieun exhales deeply and sits down on the spot beside you. Without a word, she slowly leans her head on your shoulder and rests it there, her hand finding its own way to yours. You release the tension from your shoulders and relaxed, leaning back. You tried to keep yourself focused on the drama in front of you, just to give Sieun a moment to collect herself and finally talk, but a shining object on your peripheral vision has forced you to turn your head and look down at your girlfriend.

To your surprise, Park Sieun was wearing the necklace you had bought for her.

“I’m shocked to see you didn’t throw it away,” You joked. Sieun was wearing some sweats, a shirt, and a jacket. It was obvious that she was getting ready to settle down for the night and put everything that happened in the afternoon somewhere inside her brain where she didn’t have to think about it until later, but something gave her the energy to just come to you. Until she speaks about it, you won’t ask, but boy was the curiosity killing you. “Most people wouldn’t even want to look at anything that reminds them of their lovers after a quarrel.” You muttered.

“It’s from you. I would never throw away any of your gifts over a stupid fight.” Sieun looks up, and from where you were looking, you could see a better view of the necklace. It looked amazing on her, just as you imagined.

The piece of jewel resting between Sieun’s collarbones was that of a sun because, as cheesy as it sounds, you considered Park Sieun as the one who lights your way. And maybe you were just hopelessly in love with her, but whenever she comes into your vision, everything just seems brighter. Other than that, Park Sieun is a small girl who was fed a boatload of talent as she was growing up. You’ve seen what she can do, and you had no doubt that she is one of the most promising idols in the industry. Just as the sun is one of the brightest stars in the galaxy.

You hear Sieun release a shaky breath and despite the entertaining scene playing in the television, her eyes dwelled up with tears. It felt like your heart was being trampled under someone’s feet and you had no choice but to watch.

“(Y/N), I’m really sor—”

You turn the television off and stood up, abruptly interrupting Sieun. That was on purpose, you were not going to have the talk in a living room couch where your mother could easily walk down and overhear. There was nothing for either of you to worry about since your mother knew of your relationship and was respectful and supportive, but you felt that this was something that should stay between you and Sieun.

You turn around to face your girlfriend. Tears had already started streaming down her beautiful bare face, and you gently wipe them away with your thumbs. You then took Sieun’s hand and nodded your head to the stairs, “Let’s go up. I’ll get the bath ready.”

As warm as the water kept you, goosebumps still managed to show themselves on your skin as Sieun started discarding her clothes to the side. You keep your eyes on the faucet, distracting yourself by making scenarios of droplets of water talking to each other in very high-pitched voices in your head. This makes you smile and laugh, but then Sieun joins you in the bathtub and suddenly the droplets of water started screaming in panic. Some even fainted and evaporated, how dark.

Sieun sits in the space between your legs and she hugs her own close to her chest. You rest your chin on her shoulder and wrapped your arms around her waist, holding her tight. She had pulled her hair up in the neat bun, exposing her smooth neck. You felt like kissing her.

Should you start talking? You invited Sieun to join you in the bathroom in hopes of talking in a more private space, but now you were actually in a loss for words.

“What I tried doing earlier,” Sieun speaks. You hum in response, taking one of her hands from under the water and intertwining your fingers. “It was wrong. Not because we were at... risk of being caught, but because I was pressuring you to do something against your will. It doesn’t matter if I missed you like crazy, it was terrible of me to do. I’m—” Sieun turns her head, and her eyes soften at the sight of your gentle look.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers.

“It’s okay,” You replied. You know Sieun would never force you into anything you didn’t want to do in her right mind, she promised you herself as soon as the two of you made things official. “But I understand.” You continued.

“There’s no excuse as to why I would—”

“Let me finish, babe,” You thought about all the times Sieun had to watch you do anything but sit down and talk with her on a day where the two of you were supposed to spend some quality time together after weeks of being apart. And then you thought about the times where you were too reluctant to go on a date outside with Sieun and wasted a free day due to fear of having everything fall apart for her. I’ve been quite the coward. “I think I was being too critical about hiding the fact that we’re dating. You’re the one who makes the most effort to make meetings happen... but I get too scared and before I realize, you’re leaving again and we’ve done nothing.”

“(Y/N)—”

“And then I have the nerve to blame you and your work and the industry when it was me who was slowly ruining this relationship all along. I— How are you not sick of me?” You absolutely hated how you let every good opportunity slip away, how you might have made Sieun feel that she wasn’t in a relationship, how you were never the ‘good lover’ you always wanted to believe you were. You wanted to change, but how will you ever get rid of the feeling that follows whenever you do something even remotely romantic with Sieun in public?

The feeling that you will ruin Sieun’s life, as well as your best friend’s, and that everyone will hate you for it. That Sieun will hate you for it.

“You were protecting me. I appreciate what you do for me and I always will,” Sieun cups your cheeks and leaves soft kisses all over your face. Your heart swells with sadness and the remaining bits of frustration over your past actions, but Sieun’s presence keeps those emotions at bay and eventually your heart was as light as a feather. “I would never hate you for doing what you think is the best for us. You’re my everything, (Y/N).”

Sieun kisses you, and while it was less intense than the one you shared earlier, it holds the same passion and feeling. It was a bit awkward considering that there wasn’t a lot of space for either of you to work in, but you didn’t care about that. All you wanted to do was cherish this moment and never let go of it just yet. There were a lot of things that Sieun made you feel. There was probably no way you can express them all verbally, but you hoped that this kiss would be enough to give Sieun a hint of your true feelings for her.

There wasn’t a limit when it comes to how much you should love a person, and it would be impossible to measure anyway because you knew that every passing second, you love for Sieun grows so much that it could beat the size of the universe.

“We don’t have to hide a lot anymore,” Sieun says after a while, leaning her back into your chest. You blinked, what does that mean? “The girls know.”

Your blood runs cold, “T-They...?”

Sieun nods, “Even the staff.” What the hell? I guess we weren’t as slick as we thought.

Sieun sighs blissfully and relaxes in your embrace. You raised an eyebrow, “You seem awfully calm about all of this.” You said. You thought that Sieun would be as nervous as you are right now. Hell, you were even preparing a whole speech in your head just in case there comes a time where you would have to defend your relationship against the world.

“Yeah, it’s good that they know.” Sieun says, and the content smile plastered on her face was enough to make you believe her words.

[A few hours earlier...]

“Rest well, girls. You’ll have a long day tomorrow.”

The members of STAYC thank their manager and bowed politely before making their way inside their dormitory. Immediately, Yoon and Seeun flop down on the couch, groaning about how their legs could not work anymore. Sumin heads straight to the kitchen, already thinking of what to make for dinner. J joins Yoon and Seeun on the couch, comforting them while also teasing them about their ever-deteriorating stamina.

Isa and Sieun were the last to enter. They were silent, and that, Isa thought, was weird in a way.

“What would you all like to have for dinner?” Sumin asks from the kitchen, staring intently at the contents inside the refrigerator as if her desired ingredients would appear if she just stares longer.

“We want—”

A door slams shut, making Yoon flinch and stop talking. Everyone turns their head to the front door and Sieun was nowhere to be found. She had stomped inside her shared room with Isa, J, and Seeun without a word. Isa sighs, contemplating whether she should apprehend Sieun about her behavior or leave her to her thoughts.

Sumin pokes her head out, “Does anybody know what’s going on with her?” She asked. Everybody shrugged, all of them had a different answer they all voiced out.

“Alright. Well, we can’t eat good dinner with a dark cloud above our heads! Yeeun, you’re on grocery duty with me. Chaeyoung, Seeun, and Jayoon, do what you do best and make Sieun smile.” Sumin said, grinning. She and Yeeun leave the dormitory once again, and the rest of the girls were left in the living room feeling clueless.

They all shared a look and then they just knew what to do.

Isa knocks on the door and as expected, Sieun doesn’t answer. Carefully, Isa opens the door and there they found Sieun sitting on her bed, staring at the floor with a dark look on her face. Yoon almost aborted the mission, having been scared of the thought of getting close to Sieun when’s angry, but Seeun keeps her with her and Isa as they tiptoed their way inside the room.

“Hi, unnie.” Seeun said, smiling at the older girl. Sieun looks at her, but doesn’t smile back. Seeun was starting to think that maybe Yoon was right to try and run away from the task. Isa, however, was determined.

The third eldest decided to be frank, “Trouble in paradise?” She asked.

“I just... I think I messed up with— wait, what did you say?” Sieun snaps her head up, now looking at Isa with wide eyes.

“You and (Y/N). You fought, didn’t you?” Isa asks again, making it clear to Sieun that yes, she knows exactly what she is talking about.

Sieun looks at the younger girls and she finds herself in utter disbelief, “You knew?”

Yoon nods, “We’ve all known for a while, actually. Seeun-unnie was the first one, and being Seeun-unnie she accidentally spilled it on us... but it wouldn’t really take a genius to find out about you and (Y/N).” She said. Sieun releases a heavy sigh, then she laughs at herself. All that effort just to find out that the girls have known all along. She didn’t know whether to think it was funny or sad for her, but at least she isn’t being yelled at.

“How...? And when?” Sieun directed the question to Seeun.

Seeun sits on the spot next to the second eldest and tries to remember the exact moment she found out about the not-so-secret relationship, “When we weren’t so busy, (Y/N) came over and played with me and Yeeun for a bit. You were in your room, so you didn’t know that she was here yet. Yeeun and I went to the kitchen to grab some snacks, but then I forgot to ask (Y/N) what she wanted to have. So, I went back to the living room to talk to her and... well,” Seeun grins at the memory. It was one of the moments where her heart felt so full at the sight of your smile. Don’t get her wrong, it wasn’t anything romantic. You were her best friend and if you were happy, she was happy. “She had this big dumb smile on her face while she was staring at her phone and I wondered what could be the cause of that. Turns out that she was going crazy over a cheesy message you sent at the time. I send her the same messages and she just replies with the vomit emoji, but when it was you... I have never seen her so happy.”

Sieun blushes. While she doesn’t remember that exact time, she felt rather reassured after hearing Seeun’s words. “Why didn’t you say anything to me? To us? You know, we were breaking our backs trying to hide it from everybody.” The second eldest sighed.

Seeun thinks hard about it. She knew in her heart that she would’ve confronted the couple about it, not only because she finds pleasure in teasing her tough best friend but mostly because she was over the moon about the two of you finding happiness in one another.

“I don’t know... I guess I felt like I would be intruding— or maybe I thought your hard work would be wasted. Something like that,” Seeun shrugs, giggling about her lack of a clear answer. “But just so you know, I didn’t actually tell the girls about you and (Y/N)! I’m not a snitch! I just... said some small things and they were smart enough to figure it out!” Seeun defends herself, playfully glaring at Yoon.

“No, Jayoon was right. Perhaps we really were a little too obvious about it. Mostly me, probably.” Sieun says, sighing. Not even Seeun visits you in your own home often and you’re practically joined by the hip! And how does Seeun know whenever Sieun was at your place? Well, she could always tell when you’re occupied (you really just don’t respond to the hundred old pictures of Richie she sends), and Sieun always makes sure to make herself look extra pretty on the days she would sneak out to meet up with you.

“Alright, well, now that that’s out of the way, what happened between the two of you in that little corner?” Isa asked, sitting down on the bed across Sieun’s. The second eldest finds herself feeling extremely embarrassed now that she knows that Isa, and probably all of the girls, know where the two of you decided to hide that time. God knows what else they could’ve seen.

“Other than, you know, the kissing.” Yoon commented.

“Please don’t... bring that up.” Sieun shakes her head, flustered. Both Seeun and Yoon sit down on either side of Sieun, making kissing noises to tease her endlessly. Isa sits on the bed across from Sieun's, laughing at the younger girls' antics.

Sieun covers her face with her hands, groaning, "I went... overboard. N-Nothing happened but... fuck, I— I missed her. And she was there, and I just wanted to feel close to her again. It wasn't the right time, I know, but that's not the point. I got mad and I yelled and I said all these horrible things to her and... and now I don't know if I can even face her." She was in complete distraught.

The two of you have fought before, sure. But neither of you have let it gone for this long and let it go this bad. Sieun knows that she has to talk to you, that she has to be the one to apologize because she was the one in the wrong, but she is so, so scared of what you might say to her. A cold and unforgiving look did not suit the sweet eyes Sieun has gotten to love so much but with the state she left you, Sieun thinks that the worst might just happen the next time you two see each other.

You were the best thing that's ever happened to her. All her life she felt that something was missing. Even achieving her greatest dream did not make that hollow feeling go away. Then she met you, and slowly all the pieces of her incomplete puzzle started coming together.

Sieun feels tears building up in her eyes and clutches on her bed tightly, "I don't want lose (Y/N). I can't lose her."

Yoon caresses the older girl's back to comfort her, pouting at Sieun's pitiful sight. Isa only stares, sighing and finding herself thinking of ways to help Sieun. Seeun stands up and grabs Sieun's bag from floor. Sieun doesn't say anything when the younger girl fishes through her bag. She didn't have the strength to do anything at all.

Seeun cracks a proud smile on her pretty face when she successful finds the red box inside Sieun's bag. Everyone in the room perks up at the sight of the unfamiliar object. Seeun gently places the box on Sieun's lap.

"It's from (Y/N), obviously," Seeun takes off the cover and reveals the beautiful sun necklace you've bought for her. The jewel seemed to shine brightly under the light, and Yoon mutters something about it being the prettiest necklace she has ever seen. "(Y/N) is very... simple. Traditional. Not that it's a bad thing. I meant that... her love isn't anything grand, but that's what make her so appealing. She's my best friend so I can say that." Seen clasps the necklace behind Sieun and admired it. You really did have the best taste in jewelry.

"My point is you don't have to make a song, or tell her a poem to fix all this. Just, you know, be there and say sorry," Seeun sits back down beside Sieun, smiling at her. "She's hurting right now too. I think it would help if you were there." Seeun glances at her own phone, frowning at the realization that you haven't replied to her messages at all.

Sieun touches the sun-shaped jewel resting on her collarbone, and it made her think of you — her very own star, shining down on her when everything gets dark. The one person who she knows will always be there when she needs them, the one person who will love her and care for her unconditionally. She couldn't afford to lose you, your love, your very randomly-timed gifts, your smile, your laugh, and that future that Sieun so badly wanted with you.

"I... I need to go." Sieun doesn't even wait for a reply from her members. She sprints out of the room, barely able to grab the keys to your house as she did so, put on her sneakers in record speed before dashing out of the dorms.

The crisp, cold air hits Sieun's face while she races down the street she knows all too well, but she knew a world without you in her life would be colder, and it would hurt more. Sieun held the sun jewel in her hand while she ran, lungs begging for air and legs begging for a stop but she couldn't. She had to see you. And be with you again.

Everything was about you, and for you. It always will be, for Sieun.

Finally, Sieun comes to a stop at your front porch. The curtains were drawn, but she could faintly see the drama being played on the television and the dim light coming from your kitchen. Sieun hoped it wasn't your mother because she would have too much of an explaining to do. Sieun approaches your front door, puts the key inside the lock and turns the doorknob cautiously.

Sieun steps inside the living room and sees you, her girlfriend, all the more ready to attack her with the remote control for the television. She could laugh, but she was too exhausted from all the running she did. And plus, making eye contact with you after everything she did made her so, so weak.

"(Y/N)..." God, she could barely speak your name.

You dropped the remote control on the couch, "Sieun...?" She missed your voice a lot. Sieun releases a deep breath and settles herself beside you, your warmth immediately getting rid of every fear, doubt, and shame in her head. She rested her head on your shoulder and took your hand in hers, intertwining your fingers and holding it tightly. She never wants to let go.

Sieun knew she was a work in progress, but she was willing to do anything for you. Whether it be giving up her dreams, or swallowing her pride, or literally running miles just to see you — for your love was worth having more than any of the stars in the universe, and the universes beyond that.

#girl group scenarios #girl group reactions #girl group x reader #girl group imagines #girl group oneshots #stayc oneshots #stayc imagines #stayc scenarios #stayc reactions #stayc x reader #sieun x reader #sieun imagines #sieun reactions #sieun scenarios #sieun oneshots

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polyklok · 1 year

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E, M, N fluff and K, L, T smut for Nathan

E- Ending :(

First of all fuck you for making me write this jk loves you

If it’s early in the relationship, he just straight up ghosts you. He feels bad for doing it but he’s too much of a coward to do anything else. It’s probably because he realized he didn’t like you that much, you couldn’t keep up with his lifestyle, or he was simply being a horny bastard and pining after others. I love him, but he’s still a rich, sheltered douchebag dildo.

If it’s later on…he has a really hard time coming to terms. It’s gonna have to be a mutual decision, otherwise your both gonna be stuck in a miserable relationship. Maybe he realizes that his lifestyle is unfit for long term relationships, maybe you realize that you don’t suit him as well as you used to. He’s gonna make his explanation, hear out yours, hug you goodbye, and even provide some money to help you get by. But he’s not gonna talk to you again. His heart is too tender for that.

Potentially, if you really did mean a lot to him and changed him in ways he’s now grateful for, he’ll write a brutal song for you with secretly sappy and thankful lyrics. Then you get the satisfaction of knowing that you left on the best possible terms.

M- Morning

Nathan is very prone to routine and procedure. If he doesn’t follow his mental schedule, the whole day gets thrown off. A big part of that is you. He’s not leaving his bed until you give him a good morning kiss. He’ll sit and wait for you to wake up, and expects you to do the same, in order to start the day properly.

You two do everything in sync. Obviously this took time and practice, but he loves that you both run on the same time. As you get ready for your days, taking turns swapping the hair brush or something, he’ll recall last night’s dream to you. He’s still riddled with prophetic nightmares, but he feels a lot better about them if you take the time to listen and even analyze a little bit. If you remember any of your vivid dreams, he’s gonna wanna hear about it too.

Right before you leave the bedroom, he makes sure to cup your face in his massive hands and mutter a little, “Love you.” Every morning. He’s not great with his words, but he manages in to sneak that in just for you!

N- Night

You usually end up in bed before Nathan, if he goes at all. He pulls all-nighters fairly regularly, either from partying, writer’s block for lyrics, or simply not wanting to experience his nightmares again and keeping himself distracted. You’re gonna have to get up and drag him back with you. He has a hard time saying no to you.

On the nights he does join you in bed, you always wake up from his massive figure shifting the mattress. Every single night, he tries to be a little bit gentler so he doesn’t disturb you. No use. He’ll pull you close to him; he likes to be the big spoon. Sometimes he smells strongly of alcohol, sometimes body odor, or Irish spring if he remembered to shower. You fall back asleep with his face nuzzled in your hair and the sound of his snores gradually filling the room.

K- Kink

Nathan is very serious and rough in the bedroom. He’s going to be very in the moment and completely enraptured in you. Anyway, kinks-

Dom/Sub dynamic, impact play, knife play, blood play, overstimulation, bondage, (pretty much all of BDSM), role play, consensual non-con, gagging, crying, degradation, choking, wax play

You’re gonna have to be a pretty tough cookie to deal with him

L- Location

Honestly, it’s the bedroom. He likes the intimacy, the privacy, the personalization. But that’s boring, so his second favorite is-

On a boat/in a submarine. Hear me out. Nathan has a deep appreciation for the ocean, he wrote a whole damn album about it. It feels sensual and right to take you as close to the water as possible and, well, fuck you out of your mind. If you have an anniversary or something, he definitely plans a romantic submarine vacation, clear glass area so you can truly feel like you’re in the water.

Won’t do it on the beach though. He hates sand.

T- Toy

He has a few. Most of them are less toys and more tools, like bondage rope, ball gags, different kinds of whips and paddles. He’ll have a vibrator to torture the hell out of you with. Dildos are a maybe…he much prefers using himself to fill you. He might have some decorative blades that he likes to press up against your skin.

It’s not a crazy amount (a la murderface) but it isn’t nothing and probably more than what most people have.

If anyone else wants to make a similar request, refer back here!

#dethklok #metalocalypse #polyklok is real #dethklok headcanon #metalocaypse headcanon #nathan explosion #metalocalypse x reader #request filled #metalocalypse nathan

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 2 years

Note

4 or 7 please

A little switch-a-roo! Harry is Y/N's bands' producer and they don't always see eye-to-eye.

Y/N was pissed and it was definitely coming through in the recording session. When their band's manager, Richard, initially told them that they were trying to get Harry Styles to produce their album she was excited. Y/N's initial excitement stemmed from the fact that even though he was only 34 he was incredibly successful and had an incredible reputation. He was an icon! She wanted to learn from him what making a good album meant, because she was interested in doing a good job every single time she put out music. At first she was really excited to have him on board and was soaking it all in, but the closer they get to the album finish the more she has started to dislike him. He constantly tore down her ideas or made her seem like she didn't know what she was talking about, he critiqued her choices and her style, and it just put her in a bad mood. And now, he was working their drummer, Kassie to the bone and Y/N was tired of it.

"Can we take a 10? I have t'pee." Kassie said when they finished a recording bit. She was shaking out her hands as she waited for a confirmation.

The only reason they were in this mess was because Harry said that when he went in to start editing that song the drums were sloppy. In Kassie's defense, that particular song was really hard and tiring, which Y/N explained to Harry. She also reminded him that they had a full day of recording their last song of the album and didn't have time to keep going over old stuff. He then told her that he was aware of what the session today was supposed to be and that in terms of Kassie, the song being hard wasn't an excuse and that she could do a much better job if she tried harder. Y/N just rolled her eyes at him and here they were, 30 minutes later after re-recording the same last 2 minutes of that blasted song about 15 times. What Y/N was more annoyed at is that at some point in between takes Harry had gone in and shown Kassie perfectly what needed to be done and instead of recording that he just gave her what she believes was the worst pep talk in history. The mics were off so no one could hear what he was saying but she was tearing up and he handed her a box of tissues, so it couldn't have been good.

"Yeah, let's take a ten." one of the techs announced once Harry gave him the OK and Y/N immediately made her way into the live room.

"Hey Kass, how're the hands?"

"Sore." she said smiling up at Y/N.

"Sorry, I tried to tell Harry that it was fine how it was but-"

"No, it's not. He's right, I can do better." she said with determination.

"Kass, it's OK if you can't." Y/N assured. Kassie was going through a bit of a rough time personally and she was sure that this was making her feel worse. She didn't want to tell Harry that, because that's none of his business, but he needed to listen to Y/N and get off of Kassie's case.

"Really Y/N, I can do it. I'm just really in my head, OK? I'm gonna go pee, take a little breather and come back."

"OK." She sighed and Kassie just offered her a smile before heading out of the studio. She wasn't all that shocked to see Harry following after her, but she would have a word with him later. He needed to stop being a dick.

To say the least, Kassie had successfully executed the part Harry had called sloppy after her little bathroom break and they were able to jump into the last song. Harry had tons to say about her vocals and about some of the lyrics- how they didn't work with the rhythm well and they ended up changing some things around. Y/N had been singing the song in her practices the old way and kept forgetting the blasted changes he made. She groaned as Harry yelled another cut. She was prepared to have him ream her again and already glanced down at her feet so that he couldn't see her eyes roll in irritation.

"Obviously we're not getting what we need today-" she shot her head up and glared at him through the glass, "So let's just call it a day. Great work, everyone." he said and just like that everyone started packing up. She hung the headphones up on the stand and burst into the control room where Harry was chatting with the studio crew.

"Ummm, we need to keep going. Today's our last studio session. that's all we paid for." she reminded him.

"We'll figure something out." he said to her and she scowled at him.

"We don't have money for another full day or however many days you plan on hijacking this process! If we hadn't been wasting our time re-recording kass' perfectly fine drumming we would have 45 more minutes to get this right-"

"Y/N, can you please just...be quiet?" he asked with a frown and she grimaced.

"Excuse me?"

"Just shut up, OK? Your voice is shot for today and if we keep going at it you're gonna cause some real damage to your vocal cords. You're really reaching in there, OK?" She scoffed, "Did you call that vocal coach like I told you to two months ago?" he asked and she rolled her eyes, "I'll take that as a no and that's why you can't sing the song today." he said to her. She felt her eyes welling up as he scolded her and insulted her talent. She scoffed and stormed out and to the bathroom. Harry sighed as he watched her rush out. He believed that Y/N didn't really understand what he was getting at and if she would just stop being so stubborn and listen to him...

Y/N didn't let herself actually cry at his words, but she was fuming mad to the point that her eyes grew teary. She tended to cry when she got angry. But he was an ass and he was cocky and smug and so fucking dumb with his porn-stache and fucking pink beanie. She headed angrily to her car after heading out of the studio, realizing that hers was one of only three cars left in the lot. She had been cooling off in the bathroom for quite a while. As she reached for her keys in her pocket she groaned, realizing that she never grabbed her things from the studio.

"Fuck me..." she grumbled and headed back inside. As she headed over to the control room they had been in, much to her dismay Harry was sat at the sound board with his laptop hooked up to it and he glanced up to the door when he saw someone come in. She looked over to the couch and saw that her bag was sitting there next to his.

"Forgot my stuff." she said.

"I know. I also grabbed your notebook from the piano bench, dropped it in your bag for you." he informed before turning back to the screen.

"Thanks." she hummed and headed to the couch to grab her bag.

"Figured you had left." he hummed.

"Was just cooling off." she responded lowly and then he spun around on the stool he was on to look at her.

"Why are you so fucking stubborn?" he asked her with a half-smile, "I'm just trying to do the job you and your team hired me to do."

"Why are you such an ass?" she responded and he frowned.

"I'm not an ass." he defended himself and she scoffed.

"You so are! That shit you pulled with Kassie today, you made her cry! We all saw it and-"

"You know she's dealing with a breakup right?" he asked Y/N and her eyebrows furrowed, of course she did, but how did he know that?

"Yeah."

"She got cheated on, she was telling me. I don't know if that's ever happened to you, but I can tell you from experience it is completely demoralizing. It makes you doubt every single part of yourself, especially the parts of you that you love the most, because we tend to associate the things we love together." he said and she frowned, "For Kassie that's her music. This chick was a part of her life for a really long time, as you probably know. She pushed her to do good and to excel in her music. Realistically, Kassie knows that her talent is her own and that she has all of you, and her family, and her friends, but that chick, whatever her name was-"

"Alisha."

"Whatever." he hummed, "Her opinion, her belief, her support bore a lot of weight to Kassie. She wasn't crying because I was an ass to her. She was crying because I told her that she's one of the best drummers I've ever worked with. She doesn't believe it right now, but it's the truth. She had only ever heard that from one person and having someone else validate that was a lot for her." he said and Y/N's eyes softened.

"Oh."

"Yeah." He said and Y/N sighed, "You should've heard the previous recording we had. I deleted it the moment I heard it, it was absolute shit. You're not trained to hear what I hear. It's my job to help you guys make this the best album possible and sometimes that means pushing you guys, like I pushed Kassie today. She doesn't need to sit back and relax with her thoughts. She needed to hit something, hard! And she needed to see that there was more to her than that relationship. She was able to see that in herself again today. She needs you and the rest of the band to believe that she can do it."

"I do believe she can do it!"

"That's not what it sounds like when you come griping to me about how the piece is too hard. That you're OK with a mediocre recording instead of telling her that she can do better-"

"She's just going through it. I just wanted to cut her some slack, OK? And this is not just about Kassie. This is about the way that you treat me all the time! You're always undermining me! My ideas, my writing, my singing, my playing! And don't give me that shit you just spewed about pushing me too because I don't buy that for a moment. On top of that you're so arrogant and condescending! You think you know everything, but you don't! Maybe no one can see it because they kiss your ass, but I see it clear as day." she said and he shook his head, fighting a smile. Smug piece of shit.

"OK. You're clearly not ready to have a conversation with me." he said cooly and she wanted to scream, he was treating her like a kid.

"Why do you do that? Treat me like a child?!" she shouted in aggravation and he scoffed.

"Look at you and the way you're behaving and tell me you're not acting like a child." he challenged and her eyes narrowed into angry slits, "You shout and shout and shout and you're not saying anything of substance. You're acting like an entitled brat who's upset because she's not getting her way and believe me when I tell you that everyone sees that." he finished and she was speechless. Her eyes started welling up once again and she scoffed before grabbing her bag and rushing to the door. "Don't forget to call the vocal coach!" he called to her.

"Fuck you!" she shouted back and he sighed. She was so fucking difficult and petulant. She made him want to tear his hair out sometimes. Harry was so frustrated because at first he really enjoyed working with Y/N. He always thought she was beautiful, smart, promising and he felt that he could contribute to the music her and her band made. Somewhere down the line she started losing sight and started playing it so safe. The music was suffering and it was so boring and mediocre. Something he knew wasn't her or her band at all; he was trying to guide her back to her original and risk-taking nature. To claim back the sound that had enticed him to produce for them. But boy, was she putting up a fight.

A few days later Harry contacted her to see if she was able to come to his house and finish recording the last song vocals at his home studio. She waited nearly the full day to reply, but at least she didn't leave him hanging.

*******

It was 9am when Y/N was ringing Harry's doorbell as promised. His housekeeper had come to the door and guided her out back. His backyard was beautiful. There was a pool and a hot tub and even a few fruit trees further back on the property then the pool house, which the woman told her was where the studio was located. She thanked her before sauntering back there and opening up the door and peeking in.

"Hey, good morning!" Harry greeted her cheerfully as she stepped inside. It was like a little lounge area where he was. There was a big comfy couch, TV, and a bar and fridge at one end of the room.

"Hi." she said and upon fully entering she saw another person there, "Hello." she then greeted the woman sitting on the couch.

"Good morning." the woman said.

"Y/N, this is Dr. Dauphine Auclair - the vocal coach I kept referring you to?" he said and if Y/N could punch him she so would. She felt her blood boiling and despite that she turned back to the woman and smiled politely.

"Pleasure, Dr. Auclair." she extended her hand and the woman took it.

"I was just making her some tea. Would you like a cup? I've got licorice root or ginger. These are the only throat safe options." he said and she shrugged.

"Ummm, surprise me." she said and he smiled.

"Cool. So Dr. Auclair is here to do a little warming up with you. I know you mentioned that you only took a few lessons in the past, can you elaborate a bit more with Dr. Auclair while I get this going?" he asked her and she swallowed down her rage and nodded before turning to the woman.

Y/N had started to sing in high school and the only "lessons" she had ever taken were when her choir teacher taught them some warm ups. That's what she had been working off of for performances and such for the last 6 or seven years. After a couple of minutes Harry was joining them on the couch and she glared at him in the brief moment that Dr. Auclair took a sip of her tea.

Dr. Auclair went on to explain that she should prioritize this as the vocal cords were sensitive and affected by many things. They were easy to damage and ensuring that her vocal warmups and maintenance evolved along with her was of absolute importance. She just nodded along and Harry watched on silently as she listened along, seemingly captivated by what Dr. Auclair shared with her. He sat in for a bit of her warm up before slipping out to give them a bit of time. After about a half hour he was returning to say his goodbyes and he happened to overhear her confirming another appointment with Dr. Auclair. He gave them a moment before knocking on the studio door and announcing himself, he said his goodbyes and walked Dr. Auclair out to her car.

Y/N was glad that Harry didn't have to hear her confirming voice coaching appointments. He actually liked Dr. Auclair and she did feel more relaxed in the throat for the recording session and was looking forward to learning more from her. She had some water and waited in the control room for Harry to return.

"Ready to go?" he asked as he came back in, tone cheerful.

"Yeah, good to go." she said and he had been right, she was recording the vocals with ease, even the higher harmonies and ad-libs he was suggesting. And after about an hour and a half they had finished up and Harry was giving her a thumbs up through the glass and she smiled as she hung up the headphones and headed into the control room.

"That was really good." he smiled and she sighed.

"Yeah, it felt good too. I'm not as tired as before."

"That's good. Dr. Auclair was helpful then?" he asked and she nodded.

"Yeah." she smiled.

"I'm sorry if the way I suggested coaching to you before made you feel like I thought you were bad or unskilled, that's not at all why." he said, "I think you're extremely gifted and I just want you to take great care of your instrument. Just looking out for you, s'all." he said to her and she sighed.

"I can see that now." she admitted, "I'm sorry too for... acting like a brat as you so eloquently put it." she said to him and he chuckled and glanced down as his fingers combed through his hair.

"Entitled brat s'what I said I think." he hummed and she rolled her eyes, "There you go again." he hummed and she scoffed.

"Rolling my eyes is not bratty."

"S'petulent though. Childish."

"I know what petulant means you smug prick." she said and he smirked.

"S'that mouth of yours that gets you into trouble." he chuckled and she shrugged.

"I have a lot to say."

"Not everything needs to be said. Specially when you have a face as expressive as yours." he pointed out and she giggled before biting her lip.

"I know...I need to be more mindful of that." she huffed.

"Can I be honest with you?" he asked and she nodded, "Won't get all salty with me?" he asked as he took a seat beside her and she chuckled.

"I'll try not to." she smiled and he chuckled.

"I'm hard on you because you're better than whatever the fuck has been going on with you the last few months. You guys sounded different, had something so special and unique about you. Lately it just seems that you're trying to fit in with the fads. Almost like you're scared to just be yourselves. And the rest of the band, they really look to you for guidance and Y/N, you've been playing it safe. It's not at all like you." He said and she sighed, "Don't know why you take your anger out on me when I know for a fact all of my suggestions are living up to the vision in your head." he said and she looked into his eyes.

"I get angry at you because you have the guts to be yourself and execute your vision so unapologetically. I feel like... I may seem like it, but I'm not brave enough." she confessed and Harry tutted.

"But you're brave enough to come gripe at me and speak your mind without a question?" he asked with a chuckle, "You're definitely brave enough to unapologetically be yourself." He assured her and she smiled timidly. "I see it every single day. Don't keep that part of you out of the music. It's what makes you special." he said and she sighed.

"I guess I'll be honest with you and tell you that I was really excited when I heard that you agreed to produce the album. I really admire your work too, I'm a big fan of yours." she confessed.

"Oh really?" he asked and she chuckled and nodded, "Never would've guessed." he teased and she rolled her eyes again. "Should start charging you every time you roll your eyes at me." he said and she giggled.

"Yeah, maybe. You're kinda of a pain in the ass." she scrunched her nose up and he mimicked her expression mockingly which made her laugh.

"There she is!" he announced happily, "That's the girl I first met." he hummed and she felt her face heating up, "Don't want to fight with you anymore. I want us to work well together, communicate better, so that we can make the best album possible. Want you to be involved in every bit of it." he said, "Can we agree on that?" He asked her and she bit her lip and nodded, her eyes meeting his. She was fucking pretty and undoubtedly a handful, but he didn't care. His eyes flickered down to her lips and then her eyes again, "Good." he hummed. Y/N was positive she hadn't imagined him look at her lips and she felt her heart pounding but pushed it aside. After a few more minutes he was standing outside of her car with her as they said their goodbyes.

"Thanks for today, Harry." she said and he smiled.

"Yeah of course. Anything you need, you let me know." he assured and she smiled, "So long as that bratty attitude is stowed away." he warned.

"Mmmm, no. Think it's good to keep you on your toes." she said, "Besides, I think you like it a little more than you let you on." she smirked and now he was blushing.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, love." he chuckled a bit nervously and she bit her lip as her eyes trailed down to his soft ones. So pretty and pink, he definitely noticed.

"OK, we'll talk soon."

"Definitely." he assured and he watched her pull out of his driveway with a half hard cock and a muttered curse. He didn't know how yet, but he was gonna make her his.

READ ONE SHOT FOR PART 2

#picture prompt challenge #writing #harry styles #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fanfiction #0nlythrowharrybeaux #harry styles x y/n #y/n x harry styles

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dailyexo · 1 year

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[INTERVIEW] Baekhyun - 230223 W Korea: “Days With Baekhyun”

Returning after two years, Baekhyun used the word “comfort” often.

Baekhyun’s only wish is to sing heart-felt, timeless songs for us. Baekhyun talked about the days spent with us and the days ahead of us.

How many days has it been since you were discharged from the military?

Today is precisely the third day since I’ve been out.

You have finally gifted flower shoes to the fans. (‘Giving flower shoes’ is a Korean phrase that means returning to the significant other who had been waiting for their partner to return from military service.)

I know. Before I left for the military, I told the fans that many things could change in a year and nine months. How could I make them wait? I told them to focus on their own lives but come back if they feel like it when I return. I said, if anything, I would try to win them back again.

So, you recently did a live show to celebrate discharge. Seeing you’re still as bright and youthful, fans recalled the time you promoted your second solo mini-album, “Delight,” released three years ago.

Honestly, I was super worried. But I was relieved to see their warm reactions. I’m grateful to my parents. Haha.

You talked about your time in the army during the live show.

Most of my training campmates were born after 1999, except for a few. I was the eldest there. Everyone followed me like their older brother. I still keep in touch with the friends I met then. Recently, I got a call from one of them. He said, “I am working out at the gym right now.” He was a skinny one, and every single day at the training camp, I told him to work out.

Baekhyun, as we know, was the life of the party among the EXO and SuperM members. Your bubbly personality would have shined in the army training camp.

There was no exception. I didn’t let anyone fall behind. Whenever I saw someone wanting to give up, I said, “You can’t lose to things like this,” “If you keep giving up, this becomes your habit,” and, “Real life outside is much harder than this.” I don’t let my friends give up or fall behind. I pull them together.

I presume the past two years have been a time to realize and reassess who Byun Baek Hyun really is as a person, not just Beakhyun from EXO.

Yeah. My MBTI changed during the break from ISFP to ESTJ. I’ve been known as a homebody for a long time among my friends. But I’m actually an extrovert and a very active person. But when I look back on my childhood, I barely had time to spend at home. To the point where my mother always said, “How come I see my son only for breakfast?” I felt like I went back to my real self during the break.

Was it also a time to realize again what your fans mean to you?

Of course. I still have a long way to go to learn about the fans thoroughly. There’s something I learned this time, though. The fact that our existence to each other is a lot bigger than what we think. During the first year of my alternative military service, I looked back a lot. I watched a lot of the past concert videos. At concerts, I had a lot of fun with them. There were times when I saw my facial expression on the stage and thought I really did bust my butt to pull everything. Also, sometimes I felt really empty and felt this unfillable void. At one point, I thought, “Will they still be there?” while listening to the cheers of fans in those videos. They are like a really good teacher who would grade me and encourage me. They inspire me to do my homework. They have had me run, take lessons and become a better person. I want to do well to hear their acknowledgment. If they didn’t exist, I probably would not have tried so hard to come this far.

Your Namu-wiki page has a “Fan Love” section. As we read through the things you’ve said to the fans, we thought even a real boyfriend couldn’t say such sweet things.

Haha. Definitely my mom’s influence there. She speaks so gently. She is the sweetest person, really. And I am the youngest in the family. My family poured sweet love on me. Sometimes, fans ask me how I can speak so nicely. To be honest, I don’t know. I feel it’s nothing special, to me, a very ordinary and everyday thing.

It seems like fans could rarely feel the army break. You filmed 20 pieces of YouTube content ahead of time and released them during the break.

I know how hard it is to wait. Even when we did the EXO concert tour, we couldn’t release an album during that time. So it had been a long-standing concern about how to fill the vacancy. In particular, no one was trying to do something special to fill the vacancy during the military break. At first, I thought about making a small game instead of a video. Like the Tamagotchi game, fans can foster ‘Baekhyun’ from level 1 for 641 days while I am away. Feed him, water him. Haha.

The background in planning the pre-created YouTube Content was to give fans something to calm their longings, but also in some parts, wishing your fans would not forget you by watching these videos, right?

Yeah, that is pretty much it. Actually, I was swamped when we were filming the YouTube videos. I had a hectic schedule. It was just around when my third solo mini album Bambi came out, and on top of that, SuperM’s promotion overlapped. But after filming them, I felt so indescribably proud.

The 2021 album Bambi leaves much to be desired in some ways because it had no official activities due to your military service. Nonetheless, it recorded high sales, enough to bring the double million-seller title. It was also the album released in the year of your 30th birthday, showcasing your finest skills as a vocalist.

Bambi was created strictly with my own needs and vision. I tried everything I wanted to do without looking at anyone, and I wanted to free my mind by doing so. You are right. I put in everything I could as a vocalist. I first rearranged my vocal tone around the time of my first solo mini-album City Lights in 2019, and I wanted to see how much I had grown since then. I became very dedicated because I thought I could make a better sound than two years ago. I tried the vocal ranges that I wouldn’t have chosen in the past because I was too nervous. I purposely chose difficult music because I wanted to experience both failures and trials.

In particular, the title song "Bambi" seems to have been a regular song for the music school entrance exam that year. It’s perfect for showing off your vocal skills going back and forth freely with your falsetto, modal, and head voice.

Well, I don’t really recommend it. It’s a high-risk song, the beat and rhythm are tough. It’s a pretty challenging song to sing well.

With the release of Bambi, Baekhyun’s genre and brand have become more apparent. "Baekhyun" reminds us of groovy R&B beats from "UN Village" in the album City Lights and "Candy" in Delight.

R&B is a genre that I’ve been attached to for a long time, so I’ll continue with it. However, I also want new challenges. I want to try this and that without being too picky. I want to be an all-rounder. I’m interested in singing-rap these days.

Which musician are you paying attention to as a reference these days?

I’ve gotten closer to Colde recently. I like his singing style, and it’s fabulous that he pulls off the melody rhythmically as if he’s rapping. I’ve requested songs from Colde. I don’t know what kind of work will come out yet, but we’ll work together soon.

As a musician, there’s no more valuable experience than getting a “response” to your song. All three solo albums released so far have recorded respectable sales. Did you expect such success?

Not at all. It exceeded my expectations. This record was possible thanks to the efforts of many K-pop singers ahead of me. In particular, the sales volume of the second album was the highest in 20 years of Korean pop music history.

Delight became the first solo album to achieve the million-seller title, and you became the second artist to hold such titles for both the group and solo albums, following after Seo Tai-ji.

Yes, but it’s all thanks to the dedication of so many Korean musicians. As K-pop became more known worldwide, more people started paying attention to K-culture. The Korean artists before me had already paved the roads and I just got to piggyback on them.

I don’t feel any guilt when I listen to your music. Maybe it’s a complete anachronism, but there’s still a certain prejudice regarding idol music. Similarly, some idol music is referred to as a ‘hidden masterpiece.’ But when I listen to Baekhyun’s solo music, I feel like I’m just listening to really good music.

Thanks. I indeed paid a lot of attention to that. I chose a lot of genres that wouldn’t come from SM. SM prefers strong and intense sounds, but I wanted to focus on easy-listening music. It was partly because of my preference and strategic choice to differentiate between EXO and solo activities. Seeing that many of the tracks from my solo albums are still receiving a ot of love, I think it was a good decision.

It is common to spot excessiveness in solo albums by Idol group members. It was rather unique that Baekhyun has an easy mood, as you’ve just said.

I pushed for that. I kept thinking, ‘I’ll make more easy-listening music,’ ‘The music should not change in the middle,’ and ‘The melody should flow as expected.’ I wanted to minimize statement sounds and focus on the lyrics. There was even some feedback from the company that it fell short. But I kept pushing. My motto was to do something that sounds easy to people’s ears, like passive music, even if it may not feel ‘sophisticated or innovative’ for some.

What you just said seems connected to the question of, ‘what is good music to me as a musician?’

Probably. In a way, I’m making music that’s pleasant to listen to. But I don’t usually listen to a lot of music. My ears are so tired. Since I’m a singer, I need to know a lot of songs, but when I find one I like, I listen to it over and over. There’s something in common when I look at the songs I’m hooked on. It’s not too much, and it just has one or two significant factors.

For example?

I especially like old-fashioned pop songs. Fibo Bryson’s "Why Goodbye" is also a song that I love, for example. If you listen to it, there’s a particular section once in the bridge, once in the chorus, and once in the verse. You can listen to it comfortably, and the sound is completely filled with only vocals.

What is the vocal tone you pursue?

If I could have a voice that doesn’t go out of date, I couldn’t ask for more.

It’s also the most challenging thing.

I know. I once imagined, “Will Baekhyun’s episode of ‘Hidden Singer’ come out?” I don’t think so. Because my voice doesn’t have a distinctive feature. But it’s definitely a voice that can give you some comfort. A good tone depends on the time and taste. It’s something that keeps moving without being fixed. So I just want my voice to be peaceful and stable. I hope I can make the sound warm enough to relax your body. That’s all I want.

It’s been 11 years since your debut, and you’re still taking vocal lessons every week, right?

Yes. I have a big desire to evolve. I thought about it when EXO received a lot of attention with Growl in 2013. ‘Why are so many people going crazy? Am I really that good? I don’t think so. If the heat goes away, they will see me.’ That’s why I kept trying. I always criticize myself more than others do. It’s not a matter of high self-esteem and low self-esteem. I’m just continuing to make up for my shortcomings because I know my weaknesses better than anyone else.

To me, Baekhyun is not a person with low self-esteem but one who constantly and carefully self-censors himself.

Yes, that’s right. Maybe I am a perfectionist, and I hate it when there’s no complete ending. If I don’t think I can finish something properly, I don’t even start. I tend to get extremely disappointed with myself if I don’t do something perfectly at work.

A perfectionist who pursues easiness… It sounds hard. Haha

Haha. As a musician, I want to be an easy person who can blend in with the public. I don’t want to be a musician who is so cool that people admire and want to follow. I want to be someone people can talk to easily when they meet me on the street while listening to my song.

The only regret for Baekhyun as a solo musician is that he had little opportunity to tell autobiographical stories in music. What kind of stories do you want to tell through your music as 32-year-old Baekhyun?

I want to deliver encouraging lyrics. And deliver the message that you shouldn’t give up easily and try to face more challenges. I think the disappearance of the “Jeong” culture played a role in making people get easily tired these days. In the past, when a neighbor moved in, we used to make steamed rice cakes. If the next door neighbor cooks a lot of food, they would share it with others. But living in a disconnected world without affection, people seem to think only of themselves. I want to put a hopeful message in my song that we can all unite in harmony again.

It’s been two years since W Magazine and Baekhyun met—, since the cover of the March 2021 issue, right? Throughout today’s shoot, the staff said you were sexy. Baekhyun’s “soft sexiness” that you’ve shown in your solo career seems to be reflected in today’s shoot.

Sexy… Haha. I don’t think the sexiness that I have is the sexiness that’s full of intense emotions. It’s more like this. Sometimes you play with your friends, and you feel unexpectedly sexy. I think I have the sexiness to make people a little curious about me. Haha

Today’s shoot was with Cartier’s Tank Frances Watch and Icon Collection. These are pieces that have been called Wannabe by many artists for their timeless classic aesthetic. Regardless of timea and nationality, who is the greatest artist for Baekhyun?

Michael Jackson! Michael Jackson was the only artist who stood still on stage for a few seconds or minutes and people couldn’t stop cheering. His songs have made many people cry for a long time, giving them joy and happiness. So just seeing him standing still on the stage makes them tear up. There isn’t an artist who can beat Michael Jackson.

Still, what would be your secret weapon that you could win over Michael Jackson?

Hmm… My gentle way of talking? Haha.

EXO recently announced the news of EXO’s 11th-anniversary fan meeting. What would it look like if you were to compare EXO to family?

Children who were raised by a strict father but had an infinitely sweet mother? Maybe the stage is our dad. We work hard on stage until it feels like our bodies would break literally. But when we get off stage, we act like kids. Not one friend is rude, and everyone is so kind. When we talk to each other, there’s no difference from when we debuted 11 years ago or when we were trainees.

What are the three things Baekhyun is focusing on these days?

I’m into golf. Out on the golf field, my arms got so tanned, dark enough to leave a watch mark on my wrist. I feel very relieved when I go rounding and see the open space. The second one is the direction of the vocals. And for the third, I was going to say exercise but I’m going to change that. (Kim) Jong-kook, whom I became close with through workouts, said, “It’s time for you to focus on your back.” But hip workouts are too hard. Haha. The last one is EXO’s comeback. We will return as soon as possible with a high-quality album this year.

Photo links: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23

Credit: W Korea.

#EXO #EXO K #Baekhyun #230223 #exo im #exo k im #baekhyun im #magazine #magazine:w korea #p:news #t:news #fs:w korea #comeback:Fight

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spicysix · 11 months

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「eddie munson X gn!reader • roadtrip!AU」

2.7k words | prev | next | masterlist | ao3 warnings: trauma bonding! mentions of violence, of torture and of near-death experiences. also, they're both kinda in a bad mood. a nightmare will do that to ya songs of the chapter: ambrosia - carole king • move on - david bowie • i wanna be somebody (and the entire self titled album) - W.A.S.P.

Friday, July 25

Eddie Munson was a hard-headed prick.

Not completely, no, you’d find out already he could be convinced at some point, but it took a while. And you figured the morning after your night in Sioux Falls that he was actually being really nice until then. Because on topics that were more important to him, the man was tougher to break than a brick wall.

One of those topics? His van.

Because Eddie’s back was still not completely recovered from the night he’d spent on the front bench of the van, and because of his nightmare that had kinda ruined his night, you told him you should drive the van to your next stop so he could get some more rest.

And, oh boy, was he relentless about that.

He wasn’t like Steve and the Bimmer, it wasn’t about jealousy or fear of you breaking something or getting something dirty. No, it had to do with the mechanics.

You had both woken up early, thankfully, for he had spent almost an entire hour speeching and groaning and basically throwing a tantrum about how the van was old, bratty, difficult, damaged, faulty. And how the van needed certain specific things to engage, to accelerate, to break, to park. And how the van had tricks and wiles and gimmicks to work.

You heard it all silently, nodding, not doubting him for a second even though his dramatics were off the charts. Only after his show was over and he had thoroughly explained everything about the van’s problems more than once, only then you asked him to show you, and if you could try. He showed you, also complaining the whole time, and then you tried.

And managed it just fine.

“Shouldn’t doubt my expertise, Eddie,” you winked at him — your grandma would call you smug — and he grimaced with a blush to his ears while you left the parking lot you were practicing on and headed for the road. You were cackling the whole time.

You took the I-90 and headed east, as Eddie had been doing since Chicago — on purpose or not, you didn’t know. Leaving the prairies behind and welcoming the great plains’ monotony, the beauty of the Missouri River once you crossed it again, the sun high and almost oppressive above you.

You were still a little tired yourself, but Eddie let you choose the music once again, bobbed his head to Bowie’s voice and hid a wide grin behind his hand as he stared at the window’s landscape, took a nap after two or three songs, and it was all right.

── ⇌ • ○ • ⇋ ──

“You ever been to Yellowstone?” he asked, reading a pamphlet while you gathered some food supplies into your basket.

You had stopped around midday in a town right by the border to Wyoming for a bathroom break and to get some snacks for lunch and for the rest of the road. The mid-summer brought its peak, and so the little town was unusually full of people going and coming from all kinds of nature adventures and travels.

“Do I look like someone who has ever been to Yellowstone National Park on a family vay-cay, Eddie?” you answered without sparing him a look, an abnormal tone of sarcasm in your voice because, yeah, maybe family vay-cays were a triggering topic to you. And you were a little hungry, which in turn got you a little over-annoyed.

Eddie didn’t know any of that, though, and you instantly regretted the way you said it.

“I don’t know you very well, sweetie,” he retorted just as ironically, the nickname raised in pure poison, and it hurt more than you cared to think about in depth. “All I know is that you’ve probably worked at every single retail job in Hawkins, that you go to mine’s to buy… stuff every four months or so without much small talk, that you, Harrington and Buckley are glued at the hip and that we’ve stopped the world from ending together. Nothing else.”

You stopped your strolling through the market’s aisle and turned to him, sighing.

“I’m sorry, Eddie, that wasn’t nice of me. No, I’ve never been to Yellowstone. I’d really like to, though.”

He seemed to be caught off-guard by your sudden sincerity and stuttered some words that he couldn’t completely form.

“And I’m sorry if I never stopped for a conversation when I went to buy stuff from you. I should have.” You took a step further, getting closer to him, and he looked truly startled. Was he really this unfamiliar with apologies?

“Yeah, no, I-” He closed his eyes and sighed loudly, “You’re alright. I was just thinking about it…” He went back to the initial topic, maybe not wanting to linger on the emotional aspect of the conversation since he’d been enough emotionally vulnerable the night before, and waved the pamphlet about tourist spots in Wyoming right in your face.

You caught the pamphlet in your hands, handing Eddie the shopping basket for him to hold instead, and examined it. You went through its pages quickly but with enough attention to catch the most important pieces of information.

“We could give it a call and see if we can make a reservation? It’s unlikely since we’re in high season, but we can give it a try?” you asked, looking at him again and he was still looking at you as if you were a hard puzzle to solve.

He cleaned his throat, “Yeah, sure, we can do that.”

“Not like we have anywhere specific to be or a deadline to meet, right?” You winked, handed him the pamphlet and took the basket back, continuing on your shopping spree, back with your enthusiasm. “We gotta stop by the camping supply store!”

His laugh reverberated through the isle and into a little warm space between your ribs as he went after you with a muttered ‘Fucking Yellowstone, man’ under his breath; following your plans once again, giving you his trust so openly, and you wondered if you even deserved it. Probably not, but you’d take it either way.

── ⇌ • ○ • ⇋ ──

Everything fell into place perfectly in a summer miracle as you used a payphone to call the reservations number for a camping ground on Grant Village, a last-minute cancellation from a couple that had given you and Eddie the opportunity of a lifetime — you were also able to make a reservation for dinner on the Grant Village Dining Room for your first night. And as it seemed, the entirety of South Dakota’s population had decided to go camping all at once and left you and Eddie the final tent to buy at the store. You also bought other basic camping supplies that you didn’t have and deemed important. That government hush money was making itself very useful.

Eddie assured you he was fine to drive and so he took the wheel for the rest of your trip for that day — it was too early to stop yet, but Yellowstone was too far away still, so you’d find another place to spend another night. Your reservation in the National Park also didn’t start until the next day, so you’d have to wait anyway.

You were once again delegated to co-pilot duties, reading the map and giving Eddie directions. You also picked a tape of his own for the soundtrack this time.

Not even an hour in, something caught your eye on the map in your hands. “Eddie, what do you think about a lake day?” He chuckled and shrugged in response. “Look, there’s a lake less than ten miles from here.”

“Let’s go, then.” He didn’t take his eyes off the road to check where you were pointing at the map, just followed your instructions.

You drove for just a little while until you reached an exit with a plaque that read ‘Pine Haven’. In about 20 minutes, after a few more turns, some decision-making about which way to go, and the payment of a fee for entering the State Park, you were the closest you could get to the lake, in what looked like a growing little town with a few houses built. Eddie parked the van a little further away from the road and you both left it, you stretching your arms and legs as he went around to meet you on your side.

A man approached you, introduced himself as Coop, pointed at his house — told you to knock if you needed anything — and then pointed to the best way to the lake (actually a reservoir). He told you all about the region, the State Park, the reservoir, his family; and you and Eddie were enchanted by his hospitality, the fact that he barely batted an eye about the weird combination that the two of you were. So when he invited you to stop by later for a shower and dinner, you didn’t hesitate to say yes.

After that, you and Eddie changed clothes to more appropriate ones in the back of the van and walked a few more minutes until you were finally facing the reservoir waters. Eddie found the nearest tree and rested under its shadow in no time, taking his notebook and a pack of cigarettes from his jeans pocket. You came to leave your supplies by his side and looked around. There were a few families, not many, it was very quiet and you were glad. On the other margin, though, you could see a few more people — Coop had told you the roads were more accessible and the state park was first established there, making it more popular. But you liked that you were on a more recluse part of the reservoir.

You stripped to the top and sports shorts you had changed into — intuitively, subconsciously, somehow you had brought many useful clothes so far — and covered yourself in sunscreen. Eddie had sunglasses on and seemed to be invested in whatever he was scribing in his notebook, but you felt his eyes burning on you from time to time as you turned your back to him. It made you smile for some reason (your grandma would call it wishful thinking).

He was still wearing dark jeans, they seemed more ripped, but less tight than the ones you had seen him using before, and so he rolled the hems up, took off his Reeboks, and buried his feet in the rocky sand. On his torso, he had a white tank — a surprisingly bright color, but you guessed an all-black look would make it unbearably hot for him. The scars on his neck that went up the left side of his jaw to his cheek were pink in the sunlight, but he didn’t seem to mind showing them off.

You approached him and offered the sunscreen: “You should take care of those battle scars, Eddie. They’ll likely be more sensible.”

He looked up at you, eyes still hidden behind the sunglasses (unfortunately, for he had pretty eyes you’d like to be seeing) but he accepted your offer and protected his scars and uncovered arms.

“How come you don’t have any battle scars yourself, soldier?” he asked, still spreading cream while you stretched your limbs.

“Mine are just covered.” You pulled up the hem of your shorts on your left leg and showed him the bite marks you had received from the bats on your first encounter with them when you all went after Steve into Lovers Lake. Turned around and pulled the fabric of your top that covered the bites on your right shoulder blade as well. “I was the one who got Dustin and Erica out back in Starcourt, so. No Russian torture for me as well, luckily.”

You draped a towel on the sand and lied down on it, ready to catch a tan. Your sun marks wouldn’t look pretty, but you weren’t so worried about that.

“If you hadn’t cut the rope, maybe we would be matching,” you said finally, before closing your eyes and enjoying the burning on your skin.

Eddie didn’t answer you. You didn’t intend for it to come out in a mean way, but maybe that’s how he interpreted it. And maybe you weren’t sorry for that — he could use a little snarl.

You were on his team with Dustin in the final battle. You were there because you had been able to protect Dustin once before, and you were trusted to do it again.

Which you did. You kept Dustin safe.

But you couldn’t keep Eddie safe, because he had cut the rope made of sheets after you fell through the portal, and left you and Dustin in the Rightside Up as he went back and faced those demonic bats all by himself in the Upside Down. If he hadn’t acted so impulsively, maybe you could have gone with him. Maybe the two of you would have been a more fair fight against the swarm of bats. Maybe he wouldn’t have almost died, maybe you wouldn’t have to see Dustin crying over his limp bloody body, maybe you wouldn’t have your own nightmares about that night.

You tried not to dwell on it.

You tried not to blame Eddie for it.

You tried not to blame yourself for it.

“You slept on my bed last night?” he chose to ask after a little while in silence, his voice a little shaky, and you bit your lip to stop your own eyes from tearing up before answering. You didn’t like talking about it, and maybe neither did he.

“No, I waited until you slept and went back to mine.”

You left out the part that you watched him sleep for hours, he didn’t need to know. You didn’t need to scare him like that. To make him aware that you were afraid he would stop breathing at any second, that his skin would go cold and his heart would stop beating. Like it had happened before.

No, he didn’t need to know that his worse nightmare was the same as your own.

He made a noise in acknowledgment and you took a deep breath and focused on the sun kissing your skin and the laughter of the kids playing in the water a few feet away. He focused on whatever he was doing, and you kept it to yourselves whatever was plaguing your thoughts. The air was crisp with tension, and you hated it, but you tuned it out. You could talk about it later.

── ⇌ • ○ • ⇋ ──

You didn’t talk about it later.

You didn’t talk about how neither of you dared to go diving in the lake, how you lingered on the margins, only going as further as to where the water reached your knees.

You didn’t talk about how Eddie didn’t take off his tank top.

You didn’t talk about how a couple walked past the two of you and stared too openly and too rudely at Eddie’s facial scars.

You didn’t talk about how you asked just as rudely what the hell they were staring at. But he smiled gratefully at you for it.

You didn’t have to talk about it. You knew how each other felt.

So he dragged you to a more hidden part among the trees and shared a joint with you. You laughed about nonsense together and went back to Coop’s house still giggling. You shared a towel for your showers because Betty (Coop’s wife) only had one to spare and you didn’t mind. You shared a couch during dinner because the table was already filled with Coop’s family and some other welcomed tourists, and you both received tight hugs from Betty before you went back to the van for the night.

You thought it best not to take the tent out of its package, both of you too high and afraid you wouldn’t be able to put it back later — and forgetting about the entirely available back of the van. Oh, well.

You both agreed to sleep on the same mattress, as much space between you as possible, backs turned to each other. After what felt like enough time, after you noticed that he was already asleep, you turned slowly not to wake him and stared at his back for a while. The repetitive movement of his muscles was soothing, and you matched your breath to his. The warmth of his skin still radiated and reached you somehow, even with the distance still fairly big between you two. And his calm, even breathing rhythm scared away your fears.

None of you had bad dreams that night.

end notes: i've made way too much research about this area of Wyoming for this chapter. Pine Haven was actually only Incorporated as a town by december of '86. I have no idea how the town looked months before that, so I didn't describe it a lot, made it vague on purpose. fun fact: Coop is the actual name of the guy who, alongside his wife Betty, founded Pine Haven back in the 50s - at least that’s what the town’s official website told me lmao. i obviously have no idea if they were actually this nice, but i wanted them to be a very wholesome and welcoming couple for the sake of the fic. also! let's suspend our disbelief, i know the chances of them being able to get a last minute reservation on what's probably the most popular national park in the US was very unlikely if not completely impossible. but everything is doable in a fic-world, right? right. to yellowstone we go, then

taglist (is open!): @amira0303 @rupsmorge @wyverntatty

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