justaradioguy - Tumblr blog

justaradioguy · 1 year

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This blog, est. in June 2022, was my very first Tumblr RPC blog. I have since made many more, and I've also realized how much of a total mess my blogs are.

Of course, I can't bring myself to delete something I've poured a year of time and love into, especially when I'm still writing here! Therefore, I think it's best for me to make this sideblog into an archive and move on over to a new one. It's still a massive work-in-progress, but I'm very excited to keep writing over there. The sideblog is @forgotten-teammates .

Thank you so very much for being here and supporting me!!

With love,

Theo.

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justaradioguy · 1 year

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hello! just so everyone knows, i'm slowly moving over to a new sideblog, so please don't panic if i pick up our threads over there! the easiest way to do this (i think) is to just reblog them from the new sideblog, so go on ahead and reply as normal. i'll handle all the weird logisticy stuff!

thanks for your patience. more info to come!

#short little span of attention ;; mun post

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justaradioguy · 1 year

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"I hope so!!!"

"Are we talking about dogs?"

#flameleads

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justaradioguy · 1 year

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no one is forgetting about you, i promise.

if anything had ever been more soothing, kain can't think of what it is. and it's immediately followed up by dry humor he can't help but laugh at even with tears in his eyes.

"gladly," he agrees, wiping his eyes and pulling out of the hug so he can stare at the dog in question for a moment. something in his heart has mended, just a piece glued back on, but at least he can stop crying now. "hayate's got a rock for a brain sometimes. i think he needs all the help he can get, huh?"

his hand is extending to again pet the dog, his longest-term friend even despite the difference in species. maybe someday he'll get a dog of his own. for now, he'll just camp out here and enjoy these two.

it's not too much longer before he pulls black hayate into his arms to hold, pressing a kiss on top of the dog's head. "are you gonna need help with your puppies, buddy? huh?"

she can't help but feel guilty. it's not like it was her intention, or responsibility, or decision. but she still feels guilty. how could she not feel heartbroken over her friend being so sad? riza holds kain solemnly letting him let it all out of his system. if he needs to cry or talk, or both at the same time, she'd listen carefully.

in retrospective she can see how the loss of a somewhat put together group and routine could be detrimental for him. it was easier for her to see their new normal as an improvement, given her past circumstances outweighed their current present in cons. but kain didn't have that past, he was misplaced from what he knew as home and sent to a war zone out of spite by the late king bradley, not even as punishment to kain but to their superior officer. of course he felt used and left behind, riza's heart aches in her chest at the thought.

“ we all miss you too and no one is forgetting about you, i promise. ” she reassures him with confidence, a soft albeit sad smile on her face as she pets his hair gently. he doesn't deserve to suffer like they have, and so she tries to lift his mood. “ at least i won't. and i may need help in the next few months even if it's just someone staying around me just in case. ” she offers as an open invitation for them to stay in touch. it's not untrue she may need help down the line, but it's mostly hearing from him and seeing him more often what she'd like ⸺ she's been told worrying is bad for the baby, so it's not technically an excuse.

“ i am fully expecting you to be an uncle ⸺ to hayate's puppies. ”

#broadcasted ;; queue #thread: it's been too long #pregnancy tw #[ sobs in i've had this done i just didn't trim it and it was staring at me and aa aaaaa a ]

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justaradioguy · 1 year

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"Yes, really! I wrote it especially for you. It's the very first story I've ever written, so I really hope you like it," he explains, allowing himself to smile when she looks up at him.

"So when we get home, the new plan is getting you nice and comfy, then making your tea. And yes on the honey, too - it'll help your throat a lot more than if we left it out. And after aaaaall of that, I'll read you the new story and read you the rabbit story. Maybe if you're not too tuckered out, we can make up a story together or I can put down a tray for you to draw. Whatever you like, alright? I promised we'd have a fun day, so we will."

Kain has never been much of a reader. Or a writer. Or an artist. Or a carpenter. But Kisara? Oh, she's changing that and quickly. There are so many stories he wants to make for her, and so many things he wants to do to the house to make it absolutely perfect for them, to make it home. He'll learn about colors and paint and rhyme schemes and all the things he's never cared about before - he'll find a way to get the moon down from the sky if she asks it of him.

He'll do everything his parents never did and more. And at the end of the line, just letting this one child be loved and happy is plenty enough of a dream for him. As long as Kisara has a good life, his own will have been a total success.

"Really?"

That got the sick girl to light up just a little, briefly raising her head before resting it back down against him.

A new story? That did sound nice, and tea? While she wasn't bigger drinker of it, sore throat or not Kisara had started to find some enjoyment as long as it was heavily sweetened.

"Um... can..can it have honey? An after will you read the rabbit story?"

They didn't have a lot of books (yet) but that had been her favourite story even above the many fairytales which she loved so as well.

#thread: sick day #broadcasted ;; queue #[ HI I LOVE THEM ]

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justaradioguy · 1 year

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As she lists out his tasks, he's already flipping through the pages.

This isn't too bad. Arguably, it's not hard at all since the ledger-keeping part he always struggled with as a kid is done. All the hard parts of accountancy aren't here. No T accounts, the double entries already made, statements all reconciled...

It's organization, reading, and addition. Easy.

A relief, actually. He can't help the long sigh that passes over his lips, some of the tension in his shoulders letting go of him.

"It's not too much, sir. I promise I wasn't lying when I said I don't have any work I can be doing right now," he assures, picking up a pen and a scrap sheet so he can set to work. "I don't think the Colonel would be too happy if I got struck by lightning. Plus, it costs nothing to help you out if I can, so there's no loss."

"Then here, pull up a chair." She taps the corner of the desk, indicating the empty space right next to it, "Unfortunately, it's one of my many tasks. It's just been piling up with the transfers."

"I sympathize with Colonel Mustang for inheriting the program in this state. I've done my best but..." 'I'm one person' is what she wants to say, but she holds her tongue. Her head shakes slightly as she continues, "Regardless, here's the work."

Spread amongst her desk are multiple stacks of detailed reports, a booking log split into 5 sections, and two very large stampers. (Along with her new coffee.) "Any reports of budget for public damage are instantly approved, but otherwise, we have the unfortunate duty of figuring out which alchemists could be utilizing their joint resources than draining from our own coffers." Military benefits were nice, but when every alchemist wanted their own personal copy of a rare book that costed hundreds of cenz, or stayed in luxury hotels just because they could... well, this happens. "If an alchemist is exceeding their limits for personal resources, books, tools, etcetera, they get a denied stamp, pending the Colonel's signature." It didn't take much to see that the red stamper bearing the words 'DENIED' had already been used many times. In fact, the approved pile seemed substantially smaller...

The Major slides a piece of stationary bearing the Fuhrer's seal, "Here's a small list given to me by the Fuhrer's office. These alchemists can essentially spend whatever they want." "I already did Colonel Mustang's paperwork and Fullmetal's as per requested by the Fuhrer's secretary, along with mine."

"...I know, it's a lot. If it's too much, you can say no. I just need you to reorganize these forms by the alchemist and their sector, not by the submission date. It makes math easier. If you see any high numbers, like way too high, mark it."

#thread: coffee and finance #broadcasted ;; queue

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justaradioguy · 1 year

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It seems deceptively simple a process, but he trusts Yu. A friend of White Cloud's is usually a friend of his too, with one slight exception.

"Oh... I... I guess it's not really that important, but it might be to some people I know. It'd be... nice to see them once they go back, you know? But I don't want to live there. I kinda like the Comodeen a lot more, so I've just been thinking that maybe I could stick around and still have a way to poke my head in Amestris once in a blue moon," he explains, letting out a sigh once it's all out.

"Sorry, that was a lot. And kind of way off track. I didn't mean to take away from Chobi time."

The quick cutting into a different line of thought gives the boy some whiplash, but it's something he can recover from, at least. The action of crossing there and back was something he could explain. There was a bit more to it than just wanting to, but it wasn't so bad, especially if Kain could find what had brought him to Wonderland in the first place.

"Well yeah! But you have to know where the Pillar of Darkness that connects to your world is. Usually, it'll be around some landmarks that might be from around your home copied into Wonderland-" he explains. "When me and Ai got here the second time, we started mapping out where we were going, so that might be a good idea if you want to find your way back-"

He doesn't know much about what this Amestris must have been like, but the people from there seemed so different, so militaristic. He almost wanted to ask more about that, but he holds his tongue. This was a first real meeting, and he would rather not overstep his boundaries.

Instead, another question crosses his mind, something that feels a lot less invasive, at least. "Is it important that you get back home?"

#broadcasted ;; queue #verse ;; not quite home (ffu)#thread: choco chat #r ;; fellow anxious bird lover [ yu / musesofthemoon ]#[ ik ur busy pls take ur time! i am just getting stuff out of my drafts box ]

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justaradioguy · 1 year

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The comment about tech makes Kain laugh a little, for just a split second. He understands exactly what Cid means there.

"I mean, objectively, it can get confusing - we've got a million abbreviations and most of those are made of jargon anyway, right?"

Kain takes in a deep breath, letting it out in one huff against Cid's chest as he waits for the explanation he's not sure he wants.

Well, if anyone gets it, Cid gets it. Kumo can say he's immortal all he wants but Kain still knows he can feel pain. He has a working nervous system and a conscious mind and so therefore he can still suffer just the same. Cid doesn't want his friends to be hurt, Cid says it does something to him and Kain finds himself silently agreeing.

And maybe there's a limit, maybe Unlimited isn't entirely an accurate word, because if Kumo is slowing down... if Kumo is not healing quickly, if he is intrinsically tied to the Maken-

"... Does... does the Magun work like the Maken, Cid? Is it part of Black Wind just like the Maken is part of Kumo?"

He never said he wouldn't tell anyone about the condition of that blade. He never promised that. And even if he had, it's something he'd be willing to break right now because if the Magun is still in perfect condition then something is deeply wrong and he needs to tell Cid about it. He can't just let Kumo get hurt worse and worse and worse.

"And- and is it... damaged like the Maken is? Because... because I... Kumo left the Maken alone with me for a minute, and there's a chip on one side and... I'm really scared about it. Does the Maken heal itself too?"

There was no denying the presence of that blade, contained in brilliant crystal. He had never believed in any specific deity, not truly, until he had been left alone with her. And though he is not made of Mist, though Lady Tiamat is not over the domain of people like him, he has thought of her and worried for her every night since then. He did not understand whatever was conveyed by her while he was reaching for the handle, but that chip... is she hurting too? Is Kumo in pain?

He can barely stomach the thought. Hopefully Cid will have a better answer, but... he's starting not to think any of Cid's answers right now are good news.

"I'm worried too."

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ The other man is in his arms at a moment's notice, and the blond is ready to welcome him into them. Thin but strong arms wrap around his friend gently as the Amestrian almost holds on for dear life.

No one has explained things to him in a slow but calm way and it makes him wonder if he has some mental health issues going on that they should be looking into. It makes him wonder if Amestris has any form of mental health program for it's people at all - let alone it's soldiers. If they were a military state who were insisting that this kind of thing is a normal state of being, something tells him that the state of Amestris' people haven't really seen anything akin to mental health programs.

Did they even know what PTSD was? How far behind was Amestris' medical field? It sounds like he's going to need to run some tests with all of them just so he can find his baseline with these people in the event that one of them ends up sick or injured during their stay in Wonderland.

Hopefully it wouldn't be a long one, with the exception of one Kain Fuery. Never in his wildest dreams would he force this man to return to a place he has no desire to be. That would be like telling Kumo, he wasn't wanted here and sending him back to Gaudium. He hardly knows what happened but never would he send his friend back into hell. Neither of them.

"Kain, if you ever need me to slow down or explain something again, please feel free to ask me. I'm more than happy to reword something or try it a different way, if it makes it easier for you to understand. No one here understands a lick of tech so it's not like it's not something I'm already doing."

He shifts to keep his arms wrapped around the other for as long as he needs. Kain's head is rested against him and honestly he doesn't blame him. Sometimes just listening to another person's body work is enough to help calm the nerves.

As for his question though...

"As for Kumo and Kaze, that's not quite true. It's not that I think nothing can happen to them... I've seen it. I've seen them both dead and I don't like it. I hate seeing one of them come back here with the other not breathing. It always rattles me. Last time, it was Kumo but the time before that it was Kaze. Granted Kumo wasn't in good shape either that time too.

They're immortal, so they can't die permanently. I know this, but seeing them hurt or worse - it always does something to me. I've learned a lot about them since I took over their care, and to be honest I worry about Kumo more than I worry about Kaze.... but that's only because they heal differently and I've figured out that at the very least Kaze can't get sick. Kumo however, can very much get sick and he's a miserable person when he is.

Kaze's system seems to work quickly and efficently with most things. Kumo's does too but differently. Kumo's just feels almost like it's damaged. He ...heals at half the speed Kaze does but they're both Unlimited so it doesn't make sense. Sometimes less. Dependent on the injury, sometimes it can take up to week - which is just crazy for someone like him. I've seen him revive from the dead in less than a day, but all his other healing once he revives seems to slow.

After this last death, Kumo was in bed for weeks. So I absolutely think something can happen to them. It's just that... I know they'll revive and I try to keep it in my mind to calm me down. Ever since this last death though... Kumo's been weird. Kaze though, after his most recent death - he just seems as normal as ever. It seems like he made a full recovery. So I mean, I dunno, maybe I'm just worried too much."

#broadcasted ;; queue #verse ;; not quite home (ffu)#thread: keeping promises #death tw #religion tw

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justaradioguy · 1 year

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This place is just as bad as Amestris' southern border in how horribly terrifying it is.

Granted, to someone like Kain this isn't too much different than alchemy with all its awful wonders, so with a few deep breaths he finds it in himself to read the sign and provide an answer.

"No, I don't. I don't know anything except... I was in a war zone, and now I'm in the wilderness. I promise I'm not trying to cause harm - if anything I had were useful to your sister, I'd give it to her without a second thought."

Oo0ooh… abby grumbles, her gaze narrowing further; it’s a plausible explanation, but she hasn’t seen someone besides wendy or the tall max guy in forever. there’s no way she can take this guy at his word, right? not when everything’s out to hurt her sister.

the specter glowers, setting the sign on the ground and briefly vanishing into it. the thing glows for a moment, then shakes violently and all the charcoal on it peels off. the sign suddenly rattles and flicks forward, embedded in the ground proper. lines of charcoal scrape on the sign from seemingly nowhere. OH, REALLY? YOU MUST HAVE COME A LONG WAY TO GET LOST HERE. DO YOU EVEN REALLY KNOW WHERE YOU’VE ENDED UP?

#thread: charcoal mini signs #verse ;; scream into the empty (don't starve)#broadcasted ;; queue #[ HI im back ]

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justaradioguy · 1 year

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giving threads that've already been trimmed priority to catch up on since i'm stuck on mobile while i sort my life out and wait for my computer to work out her issues

i think she's having a personal moment??? i dunno but anyway. i am back from the little rock i crawled under during the end of the semester

#short little span of attention ;; mun post

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justaradioguy · 1 year

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Slowly, the technician's left hand finds its way into his friend's hair, just so he can be there to hopefully stick some of these broken pieces back together. His heart is breaking nearly in half as he listens to the sobs coming one after another.

White Cloud, or Kumo, or Pilvi, or whatever other name - Kain doesn't care as long as he can know for sure this man in his arms is held tight because it's so clear he desperately needs it.

The phrase rakastan sinua leaves the Misterican's lips once more, and though he has not one clue what it could possibly mean, the words that follow are more than enough to satisfy. Maybe two hearts are being haphazardly sewn back together with shaking but still-caring hands tonight rather than just one.

In this place, in this room alone he finds everything he's ever needed. And while he can't manage a hug as strong as Pilvi's, he sure as hell can try.

"I think you can," he replies, though the words are not very loud. They can't get past the wall in his throat very effectively, but it doesn't matter because Pilvi will surely hear them given how close they are in proximity.

"Thank you. I love you. I'll be here 'til you ask me to leave."

Not too long ago, he'd said his home could burn. Now he understands that Amestris isn't home. Neither is Wonderland, really - no, he finally gets that home is wherever his friends are, wherever love can be found. That's what home is.

Finally, finally the man lost at sea has found the shore. And his legs are shaking as he stands on solid ground for the first time, but he knows in his heart he'll grow used to it in time and be grateful for the security. His arms are so tired from rowing, but his journey is over and now he can finally just come home.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ "You don't have to stop loving Black Wind."

The words cut through him and rip through the agony to settle in his heart with a warmth he has not felt in several months. It's such a simple idea but despite all that Black Wind has done in recent days - weeks - he doesn't want to let the man go. Even though there's part of his mind that's telling him he should.

His soul will not stop storming as of late and it's been so troubling. He really wishes this tumultuous weather would subside some time soon because living like this has become so exhausting. It's hard because the logic in his brain tells him he needs to let the Windarian go, but his heart refuses to do so.

When Cid gets upset or Eversti or basically anyone becomes cross about the gun mage's actions as of late - he just finds himself setting there screaming inside his mind 'It's not his fault' he'll cry to himself, closely followed by 'Please don't take him away!' and then his mind reels all the way back to era when the elder Unlimited slept and he used to sneak out of that castle of false joy just to check on his conscious form and once again beg the man to just open his eyes.

Knowing all he knows now...what would he have done if Black Wind had opened his eyes for him all the way back then? Orthrus would have been brought between his eyes in an instant and he doubts his counterpart would have hesitated to fire back when his mind was still such a ripe mess - that being said like it's not still a fragmented disaster of broken pieces and missing memories.

He's just a ghost.

In the eyes of Black Wind, to the world around him - he's just a ghost. A long since dead corpse animating the body of a boy he once loved. Seejvariil was no more. Seejvariil he would never be again. Even that was all wanted. Even if that was what he longed for. Not Pilvi. Not White Cloud. Not Kumo. Not Makenshi or even Little Cloud.

Seejvariil.

His heart yearned to hear that name just one more time. If he could have that then perhaps he could truly function again. Then perhaps he could feel whole again, but he's seen that faceless ghost inside Black Wind's mind. He's seen that space of blurred white that holds form but has no voice of his own. He's just a ghost. To his sun - the moon has long since been cast to slumber only for a dark lit phantom to raise in his place. The Little Moon was gone.

Kain is nothing but affirmations for him. Kain is nothing but a strong beam of support even as the man in his arms breaks under his own weight. Kain is all tears just as the prince is and perhaps this Little Moon can find a friend in this Little Star. That's what this is. A friend to set with him in the dark. Hands linked together by their shared light. A friend to be with him always, even when the Sun rises and fills the sky with it's grand light. Even when it's time for the moon to lay his head down to rest.

"There's nothing wrong with you."

It's those words that only make the Snow White Prince cling harder and squeeze the other man as if he is his lifeline to prevent life from dragging him deep beneath the waves. The cold icy waves of Black Wind's unreadable gaze. Kain, is always there to care for him. Kain is there to bring his own troubles to the prince's doorstep because he trusts him enough to handle them with gentle hands and a loving heart and oh does the Mastercam do his very best to do just that.

"Kain." He sobs as he fails to lift his head, but then again the other man was busy hiding away in the bare crook of the prince's neck just as well. "Kain, Rakastan Sinua. You're a good friend. One of the best I've ever had. People can - we can have more than one best friend right? I - I think I do. I think - I think that's you. I - I care about you so much."

#broadcasted ;; queue #verse ;; not quite home (ffu)#r ;; i'll shield you from the rain [ kumo / shiroi kumo ]#thread: more than a name #[ oh i cried my eyes out writing this one ]#[ insert the crying puddle emoji i use all the time ]#[ and the 'hepme' one too ]

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justaradioguy · 1 year

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kain please let me write challenge (failed miserably) (not clickbait)

#short little span of attention ;; mun post #to be deleted

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justaradioguy · 1 year

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POSSIBLE GLITCH??

it looks like there's a site wide glitch going on where tumblr's making people randomly unfollow people for no apparent reason?? not only that but the MUTUAL CHECKER seems to be a little wonky as well. i'm hoping @changes will talk about it tomorrow in their post talking about any changes, fixes, upcoming, and news.

that being said, please make a post talking about tumblr glitching and that you're working on re-following your mutuals. i also recommend maybe reblogging this to give everyone a head's up about the situation because i've already seen a couple of people fall victim to this glitch tonight ( myself included! ) in the rpc.

#i feel the static in the air i breathe ;; psa

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justaradioguy · 1 year

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