#i think it's because strangely enough nigel is easier to get a handle on in terms of character introspection

[theotherrichardpapen]

letter to his father - franz kafka // origin story, sink - desiree dallagiacomo // the autobiography of my mother - jamaica kincaid // caged: memoirs of a cage-fighting poet - cameron conaway

#you know you're in trouble when the painting of saturn devouring his son by francisco de goya almost makes it on here 🤡 #like minds #murderous intent #like minds 2006 #alex forbes #sad to admit i have been neglecting my (other) boy in my content lately #most of the time alex only really features in posts that are about him and nigel together #and if every there was a subject i'd be making a post about for alex it would ofc be about him and his daddy issues #i think it's because strangely enough nigel is easier to get a handle on in terms of character introspection #but that's probably down to the fact that regardless of whether you believe the narrative alex gives about who nigel was #we at least DO get a more solidly constructed idea of his character (yes even if it is the version of him put forth by alex #designed to paint himself as the victim) #alex on the other hand? gohd damn walking rorschach pattern ink blot test of a character #like *holding him up by the scruff of his neck* what does this character look like #you could have interpretations for this guy out the wazoo and it'll probably be wildly different from the person standing next to you #but one think i can say with certainty is this guy has a complicated relationship with his father #i don't think he hates him. but i do think there's a lot of resentment there too #that quote from ladybird where she asks her mother if she likes her and the mother says of course she loves her #and ladybird asks but do you like me? and the mother just responds that she wants whats best for her #to which ladybird says what if this is the best version of me #or something #that's them #to me at least #i suppose that's why alex was as drawn to nigel as he was #yes nigel was also spouting on about predetermined destinies foretold by fate and whatnot #but the fundamental difference is that nigel leaves all the power to achieve that in alex's hands #the only thing he ever really asks of him is for alex to embrace his inner most desires. no matter how dark or twisted they may be #alex's father is there telling him that a better version of himself exists if only alex could live up to expectations #nigel is there telling him that a better version of himself exists if only alex could forgo expectations of himself entirely #if that makes sense 🤡

[obsidiancreates]

One Undead To Another (Chapter 14)

(Trigger warning for... I guess mental breakdown? Death, grief, complicated feelings surrounding grief)

“Thanks.” Juliet smiles at the officer, and then turns and walks up to her partner.

“So?”

“Checks out.” Juliet doesn’t even try to hide the relief in her voice. “The mom tried to kidnap her daughter and Shawn caught them, the mom confessed to everything and the little girl is already home safe.”

“And no bite marks on the perp?”

“Not a scratch.” The relief she feels is enough to make her melt. “She described Shawn as quote, ‘rude and offputtingly cavalier with a strangely calm approach to everything’.”

Lassiter scoffs, not without slight fondness, and with much mocking. “Sounds like Spencer.”

“Yeah.” Juliet can hear the dreamy relief in her own voice. “Yeah, it does. Even through all that. … Maybe we’ve been a little too hard on him, Carlton.”

“Too hard on him? O’Hara, he’s a vampire.”

“But he’s still Shawn.”

“The last time we used the ‘It’s still Spencer’ excuse to relax about him, someone ended up dead.”

The tension returns to her in a crashing tidal wave with that sobering reminder. “Right.”

“Right. Yes, it’s Spencer’s personality, his behavior, even his soul. Doesn’t matter. We need to keep an eye on him and keep him in check. Even if that means being a little unfriendly.”

“Easier for you to do than for me.”

“I know. So I’ll be doubly cautious for both of us.”

“Thank you, Carlton. … What now?”

“We’ll have to go back and get Guster, then decide on how we handle the rest of tonight.”

“... Or… call Gus to check in, then go get coffee and late-night pancakes before switching off?”

“... I would kill for a good cup of joe right about now.”

Juliet smiles and pulls out her phone, finding the contact. “Gus?”

“Juliet?”

“Just checking in. How is everything so far?”

“Good, actually. We’re making a list of uh… changes to Shawn’s psychic abilities. Like Mary said, they’re all out of whack now.”

“And he hasn’t…” 

“I’m fine. I put the cross on a paperclip necklace, he can’t get near my arteries.”

“Smart. Okay, well, Lassiter and I are going to take care of a few things and we’ll be back to relieve you soon.”

“Cool.”

She hangs up. “Are we splitting the bill tonight?”

“I was thinking I’ll watch Spencer tonight.”

“... So?”

“So, you should pay.”

“Oh, my god.”

“What?! It’s fair, O’Hara.” 

“You’re seriously trying to use this to get me to pay for pancakes.”

“It’s a perfectly valid reasoning.”

“You just want to annoy me into not fighting you on watching Shawn.”

“Right. I want to make absolutely sure I’m the one stuck with him for hours.”

“You don’t want me in danger.”

“You owe me.”

“I do. Alright, I’ll buy. But that means we’re both getting the kind with the strawberries and bananas.”

“Fine. Doctor says I need to eat more fruit anyway.”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Alright.” Gus has the list of psychic attributes laid out in front of him, and beside it a new list of vampire attributes. The psychic list is much longer, including lots of little moments they now both realize were actual psychic instances in past cases. “So we both agree that the Nigel St Nigel cigarette case thing was psychic.”

“The first stop was. After that I just actually noticed the danger.”

“Still counts.” Gus writes it down. “Okay, vampire thing next. Can you fly?”

“Pretty sure that’s a no.” Shawn isn’t even sure how he’d go about trying that except for jumping off a cliff– which he considered, before getting a vision of his body floating in the water and Lassie and Jules watching it be hauled up. He’s not sure if he was dead-dead in the vision, or just unconscious, but it doesn’t matter because Lassie and Jules looked pale and stricken and they’ve already had to see his corpse once. 

“Psychic sure or regular sure?”

Shawn considers it for a moment, taking the time to eat a cheese puff. “Regular sure,” he decides.

“Fine. Then… how do those cheese puffs taste? Like ash?”

“Like artificial cheese.” Shawn eats another. “I think food tastes the same.”

“Does it feel the same?”

Shawn shakes his head and has another puff. “I had a smoothie earlier and it didn’t quench anything. That might be the biggest loss in all this.”

“You mean besides your eternal soul?”

“Pretty sure I still have my soul. … That one was definitely psychic.”

Gus notes that and the food thing down on their respective pages. “I think we’re making good progress here.”

“Me too, man. I knew we’d be able to figure this all out together.” He hadn’t intended on that at all. He still catches himself looking at Gus’s neck, as does Gus. It’s why Gus made the makeshift rosary in the first place. It’s risky, and difficult, and it makes him hungry.

Hence the cheese puffs. Which aren’t taking the edge off at all, but maybe if he pretends they do he can trick himself into it actually working.

“How about shapeshifting?”

“Gus, I’ve been a vampire for like, a day. Even if I could do that, it probably won’t happen before speed.”

“You said you super-sped at that lady’s car.”

“Yeah, on accident.”

“Fine. What about hypnosis?”

Shawn crunches a puff.

Yes. Yes, he has hypnosis. Strong, potent hypnosis. Some kind of power over someone’s very soul, compelling them to do what he says without even knowing he’s done anything. He can feel the phantom sensation of doing it to Gus, twice now, the way it tied them together for a moment in an otherworldly snare where Shawn was the trap and Gus the prey. And he hadn’t even meant to do it at all.

“I haven’t tried yet.” Not a lie. He hasn’t. But it’s not an answer. But how can he answer? ‘Sorry buddy, I’ve already hypnotized you, Lassie, Jules, and some random other person. You, Lassie, and Jules more than once, by the way.’ He’s still on thin ice, and he’s still figuring this out, and he’s sca–

“You haven’t tried?” “To be honest, man, I’m not super hyped about the powers stuff. They kind of suck so far.” He motions to Gus’s chest. 

Gus rubs the bruise. Shawn tilts his head and tries to parse if there’s any tip-offs for ‘bruise’. He’s pretty sure there isn’t– but it’s also just a normal, logical conclusion. He files that away as a ‘Maybe Psychic’ moment and crunches another puff. “So uh… how’re you planning on tricking out the office?”

“Hmm? Oh, that. Well, I talked with Father Wesley earlier–”

Shawn grits his teeth. A resentment he knows isn’t his bubbles up inside of him. He bites the next puff harder than he has to. Gus doesn’t seem to notice, now opening his laptop and looking something up.

“– and got some advice. I found Bible passage wallpaper in an online specialty shop, I’ll put whatever I have leftover from my apartment in here.”

Crunch. Is he scowling?

“I also ordered some actual crosses to hang around my desk. Just, you know, in case.”

Crunch. Shawn hopes his nod doesn’t look too stiff.

“I’m probably going to keep a spray bottle of holy water around too.”

Crunch.

Gus jumps in chair. Shawn looks down at his hand. He’s crushed the entire bag of puffs. 

“Whoops.” It’s all he can muster up. It’s nothing. It’s chips. It’s so much more.

“... Maybe I shouldn’t tell you all the stuff I have planned.”

“Yeah. … I’ll probably figure it out anyway.”

“Probably.”

“It was kind of impossible to hide anything from me even before all this.”

“Not that impossible. You didn’t know about Ruby.”

“Oh yeah.” He probably would now. It feels a little like his brain is a poster, folded up so that whatever the focal point of the design is was on full display. He could pick apart the details, admire the intricacies, hang it up and be satisfied with just that. But now he’s unfolded it for the first time, and it’s so much bigger than he ever imagined it’d be, and it’s almost difficult to take in the whole complicated piece. He can hone in on little aspects, specific sections, he can separate it by the leftover impressions of the folding, but trying to see it all as one leaves him unable to see any of it. He could probably know everything, if he could just back up far enough to take it all in…

‘Don’t.’ His grandma’s voice drifts through his head softly. ‘You won’t be able to get back.’

“Shawn? Shawn!” He blinks and Gus is standing in front of him, pencil-cross tucked into his shirt so it’s not waving in Shawn’s face as Gus leans over and lightly slaps his cheek. The warmth of Gus’s hand enriches the smell-taste hovering around him. Shawn jerks away and tries to cover the seize of panic with an exaggerated flop and shout of surprise. He falls off the chair in his fervor. 

Gus just tsks and watches Shawn flop around for a second through half-lidded, done-with-you eyes. Shawn sits up, now covered in the dusty remains of the puff bag.

“What was that?” Gus puts his hands on his hips. “You completely blanked out.”

“Gus, please. I don’t blank out.”

“Your eyes glazed over, Shawn.”

“Now I want doughnuts.” He doesn’t. He wishes he does. He should.

“I’m serious, Shawn! That was–” Shawn zeros in on Gus’s hands, highlighted as they tremble slightly. His eyes go up to Gus’s lip, also trembling, and the way Gus keeps looking at his neck before quickly looking away.

“Oh, buddy.” Shawn stands, putting a hand on Gus’s shoulder. Warm, pulsing with Life, easy to take. He crumbles up the chip bag in his other hand, keeping the one on Gus’s shoulder loose and casual. “Look, man, if you need to…”

“No, it’s– I’m fine.”

“You were having flashbacks, weren’t you?”

“... Maybe.”

“I’m sorry, man. I-I can’t imagine… I mean if I found you like…”

“Shawn, seriously. I’m fine.”

The turmoil in Shawn’s guts is different right now. It’s not hunger, not searing pain, not uncertainty and confusion twisting his stomach into knots. It’s a deep pit of dread, a rolling cycle of regret and grief, a tight line of If Only that…

… Isn’t… his.

…

“Gus?”

“Yeah?”

“I think you need to go back home.”

“I’m supposed to keep an eye on you until Lassie gets back, remember?”

“Dude, looking at me is just hurting you right now.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Yes, it is. No wonder you keep throwing up, man. This feels awful.”

“Feels aw- you can feel my feelings right now?”

“Kind of, I– it’s complicated.”

“... I don’t want to leave right now, Shawn.”

The grief sharpens. The almost gentle roll of the grief cycle becomes a tear. Shawn sucks in a breath at the same time Gus pulls in a shaky sob.

“Gus, I’m not going anywhere.”

“You already did.”

“But I’m back! I’m right here, man!”

“You know it’s not the same, Shawn.”

“But it can be! After we figure all this weird new stuff out! Nothing has to change, man. I won’t let it, we’ve got a good thing going and nothing is taking that away from us.”

“You died.”

“Only for a little while.”

“No, Shawn.” Gus brushes the hand off his shoulder, putting both of his hands on Shawn. “You died. You– we saw–”

“But it’s okay now! We can move on from it, buddy, just like we always do.”

“Not just like we always do! Don’t you–”

“... Don’t I what?”

“... Don’t you feel off?”

“Don’t I feel off?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Because you died!” Gus shakes him. “Because we didn’t believe you! You died surrounded by freaky monsters, alone, in a basement! It’s not normal to just move on from that, Shawn!”

“What are you– are you mad that I’m not upset enough or something?!”

“YES!” Gus pushes Shawn away– or tries to. Shawn isn’t even wobbled by all the force Gus puts into it, and instead Gus is the one who ends up pushed back and stumbling away. “YOU’RE DEAD, SHAWN! YOU’RE DEAD AND YOU’RE STILL WALKING AROUND MAKING JOKES AND ACTING LIKE IT’S JUST SOME EVERY DAY THING!”

“What do you want me to do, Gus?! Sit on my bathroom floor and mope?! Hang around my apartment thinking about what it felt like to die?! I don’t work like that!”

“No, you just run away when it’s something you can’t brush off!”

“Run– that was years ago! I haven’t run away from something huge since I was eighteen, Gus! I’m here, I’m here to stay, I’m not going anywhere!”

“YOU DID!”

“And I’m back!”

“You’re NOT! Not the same Shawn who left, and we both know it, so stop trying to pretend otherwise!” Tears are streaming down Gus’s face. There’s a frantic look in his eye and Shawn can feel the confusing tangle of emotions taking up his best friend’s chest, the grief and the anger and the disbelief and the fear all twisting into each other to make something just ugly and painful.

“What do you want from me, Gus?!”

“I DON’T KNOW! JUST– JUST STOP PRETENDING IT’S NOT DIFFERENT!”

“I CAN’T!”

“WHY NOT?!”

“I JUST CAN’T!”

“YOU HAVE TO!”

“I WON’T!”

“WHY?!”

“BECAUSE I’M SCARED!”

Silence.

Gus stands, crying and huffing and panting. Shawn is frozen, not daring to breath, blink, even move to run. He misses his heart hammering in his chest in moments like these. He misses feeling it jump into his throat, hearing blood roaring in his ears, feeling his pulse speed up and not Gus’s, he misses–

Oh.

He’s crying.

He’s crying, and Gus is moving towards him with a tissue. He offers it to Shawn. Shawn still can’t move. This doesn’t feel real. None of it has felt real, except for when it has, and then it felt too real to be real. He feels like the admission popped his Shamu pool floatie and now he’s sinking, sinking into shark-infested waters with weights strapped around his ankles and no don’t think about Mary choking on blood in his arms right now on top of all of it–

Gus wipes Shawn’s cheek for him. He’s still crying too. “I’m scared,” Gus says, voice wobbling. 

“Yeah.” Shawn’s voice comes out a watery croak. He motions weakly at Gus’s fake rosary.

“Not like that.” Gus swallows. “I’m not scared of you, Shawn.”

“Yeah you are.”

“A little bit. But I’m scared for you.”

“... Why?”

“I didn’t just see my best friend die. My best friend died, and now he’s trying to ignore that.”

“Gus–”

“We need to talk about it, Shawn.”

“... I don’t want to.”

“I know.”

“... It might not even help.”

“We still have to.”

“It’s never helped anything before.”

“Have we ever tried?”

“... I don’t… want… to have died, Gus.” His voice catches. He’s trembling now. “That can’t have actually happened.”

“It doesn’t seem possible.”

“It doesn’t, right? I don’t– things work out for me.”

“They always have.”

“They always have. They always do. It can’t have just… not, this time.”

“But it did. Not, did not.”

“... What if I did die? … For real? And I’m not…”

“You?”

“... Yeah.” Shawn wipes his own eyes this time. He doesn’t recognize his own voice. He’s never heard it like this. Clogged up, shaky, weak. “Gus, I’m… I’m scared. I’m sc–”

The last word doesn’t make it out. He sobs.

Gus pulls him into a hug, also sobbing. Shawn feels Gus’s heartbeat in his entire body, in his bones and deeper, but for the moment the hunger and temptation don’t come with it. As Shawn hugs back, taking in the warmth and feelings and Life, he doesn’t feel any of the painful tension of before. He feels Gus’s whole self, body and soul and all, and feels comfort.

#psych #psychusa #psych usa #psych 2006 #fanfic #my attempts at fanfic

[one-leaf-grimoire]

“illusion”

Chapter 13

Yo it's been a while! Sorry about that, I've been busy working on another fic (Triad, if you want to check it out). Anyway, here's the beginning of a fierce battle lol- things will not go as planned. I also forgot how to write fight scenes lol but that's okay bc the emotional moments here are nice. Anyway, enjoy!

WARNINGS: description of graphic injury. Also, I’ll be making an sfw version of this soon so stay tuned!

AO3 LINK (WARNING- THE WORK IS OVERALL SPICY MINORS DNI)

"There are injured civilians and Magic knights throughout the city! Some might be shipped out as POWs soon, but that's why we're here, to stop it! Our primary objective is to clear the area of innocents and the injured, then wait for reinforcements from the Silver Eagles to arrive and drive out the enemy. Is that clear?"

"Yes sir!"

There's barely a second to waste, so Captain Hervey barks out his orders to us as we shoot towards the border town, finally coming into view. My heart is pounding, my hands gripping the wood of my broom handle so tight I'm surprised it hasn't cracked. Alice holds onto me as I drive, bent over a bit to avoid getting a face-full of my hair as the wind whips through it. All of us are here on brooms, except Julius, who went off ahead by himself to scout out the area. His absence just makes me more nervous. I hope he comes back soon- what if they were waiting for him, and he gets captured, or worse-

My thoughts are (thankfully) cut off as Hervey continues his spiel. "Once Julius gets back with info, I'll split you up into groups, then deploy you. Remember, try not to attack the enemy until all the civilians are out of the way."

I nod slowly to myself, my eyes still transfixed on the city. There's smoke rising, and I can hear magic blasts from afar. This morning, the vague order came directly from the Wizard King: "The border town of Lullin has been under siege from the Diamond Kingdom for three days. They have finally broken through the Crimson Lion Kings' defenses. Your squad will hold them off until the Silver Eagles arrive as backup."

And that was it. The strange thing is, none of us knew about this siege, even though it's been going on for three days! We land on the outskirts, out of sight from any of the forces inside. The town was walled, as are many border towns, and the fight is going on within the pit. Was it kept secret on purpose? Whatever was going on here, it was now our problem. The Grey Deer were used more as a diplomatic squad, escorting royalty, nobility, and foreign visitors. Most of the battling was done by the Silver Eagles and the Crimson Lions. But today must be desperate, because here we are, nervous as can be, getting ready to jump into our first real fight in a while. 

"Well, at least we get to kick some Diamond ass!" Nigel, of course, is rearing to go, even though I suspect this newfound confidence is just a way to cover up his own nerves. He does a few lunge stretches, which at least lightens the mood. "Giles, lets have a contest!"

Giles, who looks like a corpse right about now, nearly jumps out of his skin at the sound of his name being called. "Huh? I don't think this is the time for a contest!" he objects.

"No, no, it'll be easy!" Nigel smirks and hits his hand into his palm. "Whoever takes out the most diamond guys wins!"

"Take out? Like, KILL?!"

"No! Like- take out-"

"You didn't think this through, did you?" Alice asks, her face not matching her teasing tone. "Don't bother keeping count... just..." Her gaze drifts, and it's obvious that her next words are meant only for Giles.

"Don't... get yourself killed because you're distracted. Just survive." Her smile reappears, just a whisper. "Alright?"

Giles stares at her for a long second, the sunlight shining on his glasses. You can see the understanding start to dawn on his face, and even he manages to smile back, a smile meant to quell her worries.

"Of course. Right back at ya, Alice."

Suddenly, there's a loud whoosh and a CRACK in our encampment. We whirl around to see Julius land there as powerfully and gracefully as usual. My lips part for a moment in a quiet sigh of relief. He's back! And unharmed!

"Julius, what's the situation?" Hervey demands, turning to walk over to his Vice Captain. "How many are there?"

Julius takes a moment to catch his breath before answering. "A lot..." He shakes his head. "Maybe a hundred Diamond mages. Plus their General."

There's a worried murmur among the squad at the mention of the General. Instead of captains, the Diamond Kingdom army was led by their "8 Shining Generals," who were rumored to be as fearsome as they come. If one of them was here, and had already defeated the Crimson Lions, how on earth are we supposed to make any headway?

"Dear God..." Hervey twists his goatee anxiously, his forehead creasing at least five times as he considers what to do. "Do you know which one?" He glances up in time to see Julius shake his head. "Well, we're going in blind... perhaps we should stick to the perimeter-"

"The Crimson Lions are being kept hostage in the center of town," Julius cuts in before his captain can finish. "The General is stationed in there I believe. As for the residents, they're being kept in their homes in several areas of town. I don't know what the enemy plans to do with them, but I think we should try and evacuate them before the Silver Eagles arrive." He glances around at the rest of us. "We'll split into four groups. Three will sweep the houses and evacuate civilians. Me, Captain Hervey, and a few of you will head for the center and cause a distraction." His gaze hardens for a moment as the orders are issued. "We should be able to accomplish this quickly. I don't want any civilians to get caught up in battle once the Silver Eagles are here."

We all nod silently in agreement. Hervey opens his mouth to say something, but even he can feel it; When Julius spoke, everyone's nerves were eased, if only for a moment. For a moment... it was like Julius was the Captain.

With that, Hervey splits us up into groups and tells us to prepare ourselves.  I get put into a group with Wren, Giles, and Martin, which I'm not thrilled about, but at this point I'm to jumpy to even care. Everyone is tense, their hearts pounding adrenaline through their bodies. Alice sits on a rock and taps her foot. Martin starts biting his nails. Malota and Hervey talk together quietly. Julius hasn't spoken- or looked at me for that matter- since we left the base. Now, he stands alone on the ridge overlooking the passage to town, his face turned away from me so I have no hope of reading it. But his shoulders are squared, his head held high, and his stance sure. Whatever lays ahead, he's ready and confident. My heart starts pounding for a different reason, but I shake my head to rid it of any intrusive thoughts.

I have to clear my head, to get ready for this... I have to focus more than anyone else here.

Using my Illusion magic is tricky enough, and even more so in the fray of battle. I have only seconds to read someone's face, cast my spell, and generate an image of something in their mind that will stop them from attacking me. Like with those bandits before, I'll probably go with injuries that will shock them. I squeeze my eyes shut taking in a deep breath.

Injuries... injuries...

It would be so much easier if I could see my own illusions, but by nature they only appear in the minds of my targets. I have to transmit that image as convincingly as possible if it's going to do anything. And in order to do that, I do... research. I have a box full of medical textbooks and trauma first aid manuals under my bed, which have some pretty realistic pictures inside. Every time I crack open a page, my stomach turns and I feel dizzy, but I force myself to look. 

It hurts that much just to study... I can't imagine how it must feel to see that injury appear on your body.

But now I have to do just that. I have to hurt people again.

Maybe it'll feel nice... I suck in another breath through my nose, squeezing and releasing my fist a few times.

I've been hurt a lot lately... maybe it'll feel nice to finally hurt someone else.

I imagine what it'll be like, when enemies are attacking and I have no choice but to use my power. I already know, that every single one of them will have Lawrence's face plastered on in my mind's eye.

Before I can think to hard about it, I hear someone crying. 

Blinking slowly, I remove myself from my trance and turn to see someone slumped behind a tree, their head hanging and their arms hugging themselves like they were the only real thing left in this world. "Um... are you okay?" I take a few cautious steps, walking into the treeline and realizing that it's none other than Cecelia who's crying.

As soon as she hears my voice, she looks up, her eyes already swollen and red. "Oh- uh- yeah-" She reaches up and starts to wipe her face frantically. "I-I just got really nervous for a second, I t-think I'll be fine now-" She lowers her hand and takes a deep breath. But, when she releases it, more tears burst out. With a whimper, she covers her face, her shoulders trembling.

She's scared. Well, we're all scared, but she lets it show on her face. Her eyes are overflowing with water and she bites her lip hard to keep it from twitching. 

She's... so scared...

"Cecelia..."

Without really thinking, I walk forward and pull her into a hug. Cecelia freezes up for a moment, her face planted right into the fluffy shoulder of my robe. I give her a squeeze.

She's only 15... and yet she has to go to war with the rest of us.

"I don't really remember my first battle. I was your age though," I start to say, not exactly sure where I'm going with this. Lately, I'm the one who had to be comforted, so being there for someone else isn't coming as naturally as I would like. But I have to do the best I can. "I bet you won't even remember this in a few months."

Slowly, Cecelia nods and lets her hands come up to hug me back, but her crying does not cease. "Are you s-sure?"

...no.

"Of course." I stroke her hair gently, my heart clenching more and more.

Oh god... if anything happens to her...

"Hey, what's going on here?"

We both look up to see Alice peek around the tree, her eyes widening when she spots Cecelia's tears. "oh! CC..." Instead of being paralyzed like I was, Alice immediately melts into a grin before stepping forward. "Give me your hand."

Hesitantly, Cecelia, lets go of me and lets Alice take her small hand. Alice bends down just a little to look the girl in the eye, her irises glinting with golden determination. "You're nervous, right?"

Cecelia nods.

"You can say it, it's okay."

"I...I-I'm scared..."

"That's perfectly alright. But listen-" Alice clasps her other hand over Cecelia's. "You're in my group, right? So I'll protect you! No matter what. And you're going to protect me too!"

Cecelia's breaths are still shaky, but somehow she manages to smile as well.

"I will..."

"Promise?" Alice sticks out her pinky finger, causing Cecelia to giggle. They lock fingers and shake once. 

"Promise!"

The somber air is gone now, replaced by something more hopeful. I let out a relieved sigh before turning to leave. I wish I was as good as Alice, I think sadly. She's so good at handling these types of delicate situations. She's always been my rock... Could Alice really be involved in my attacks? Was she really part of that plan?

... no. Of course not.

"Hey! You too!" I look back to see Alice and Cecelia looking at me. "Promise me you'll protect yourself, and everyone else in your team," Alice repeats.

"Well, maybe not Martin-" Cecelia pipes up, grinning as both Alice and I collapse into peels of laughter. "I'm kidding, guys!"

"Cecelia, never change-" I tell her through a giggle, reaching up to wipe my own eyes. "And yes... I'll protect everyone, I promise."

With that, there's only mere minutes before we have to set out. The fear in my veins is still there, but my new-found confidence beats it back into being silent. This is just like many fights and battles before. Maybe on a larger scale that I'm used to, but it's just another fight. A fight that I will probably forget within a few months. I leave Alice and Cecelia alone, stepping back out into the meadow. Once again, my eyes are drawn to Julius, still standing by himself on the ridge. Should I go say something? I gulp nervously, my heart fluttering a little. Part of me doesn't want to bother him, but at the same time, I wonder if I will regret passing up this one last chance.

"... hey."

Julius looks to his side as I finally walk up to him, my eyes fixed on the city in the distance. "Oh, hi. I was wondering if you were going to come keep me company."

I shoot a glance up at him to see him smiling, and my nerves melt away immediately. "Ah, I see... well, better late than never?"

"For sure." He closes his eyes for a moment before opening them again to study my face. "Well... it's been an... eventful day, hasn't it?"

I gulp nervously, glad that we're facing away from the others because my face is definitely starting to heat up. "Um, yeah, I suppose it has-" I let out a breath of embarrassed laughter, the memories of earlier this morning flooding back. These past few days were crazy, and something tells me it's just going to get worse. "I'm sorry, I guess-"

"Sorry? For what?" Julius winks. "I enjoyed myself, you know." I raise an eyebrow, my heart pounding a little. Between last night and this morning, things between us have... escalated. And now, on the horizon of battle, there's nothing I'd like to do more than throw myself into his arms and hold him one last time. I'm sure he'll be fine, but I don't want to die without that...

But we can't. I feel eyes burning into our backs, watching us closely. Malota, I know, is watching. She and Alice alone know about me and Julius, and any wrong move could set off an explosion. 

"If anyone should be sorry, it's me." Julius finally speaks again, his eyes narrowing slightly as sadness pools within them. My breath catches in my throat at the look, and I almost want to start crying right then and there. "I... hope you don't feel like I'm taking advantage of your situation, because you're vulnerable. And I hope you know that I was serious about everything I said before, and-"

Suddenly, he's the one who seems desperate to confess something, even though he's been honest with me from the very start. I can't do anything but stare at him blankly, dumbfounded that he's apologizing, before blinking away my shock. 

"You're special to me."

And Julius... you have no idea how much I want to love you. 

My heart strains hard at the walls I put up around it, begging me to set it free and finally surrender it to someone on my own terms. But this isn't a good time... in fact, it's the worst time possible. So I keep it imprisoned just a little longer.

"Julius-"

He stops talking as I reach out. I want to touch him, to rub up his chest, to grab the collar of his shirt and shut him up with a big kiss. And from the look in his eyes, I know he wants the exact same thing. 

But I don't do that. I just let my hand land on his shoulder, like a good comrade would.

"You have nothing to apologize for. Honestly." I offer him a smile, one that I hope comforts me just as he does.

Slowly, Julius nods, then reaches out to grab my shoulder as well. We stand there, still, for a moment, but any longer and people would start to think. So I let go, and he does the same. "We need to go." Julius inhales deeply, the sadness gone from his eyes. "Be careful, alright? There's a lot I want to talk about when this is over."

"Oh?" I shoot him a wink as I step away. "And a lot you want to do with me, right?"

Julius's eyebrows pop up in surprise, but he can't suppress a grin, a slight tinge of pink appearing on his cheeks and nose. "Of course, of course. I still owe you a reward, don't I?"

I open my mouth in mock shock, even though that one comment is sending my heart reeling once again. Oh my god, I better survive today! I'm not sure what Julius has in mind for that "reward" but something tells me that it's going to be something I'll remember for a long, long time. 

----------------------------

As soon as we part, the world descends into a blur. Hervey is once again shouting orders, and everyone jumps onto their brooms, ready to go. In one swam, we lift off the ground, but then our groups break off to surround the city. "Hey! Loser!" I look over to see Alice grinning at me as she starts to zoom away. The wind muffles her words, but I can just make them out. "See you later!"

"You too!" I smile and give her one last wave before turning away.

Wren, Giles, and Martin fly behind me, silent but already with their grimoires out. I squint my eyes against the wind as I watch the center of the city like a hawk, where Julius and the others will be causing a distraction.

Any second now... come on-

It happens; the entire area grows cold, and a huge spike of ice rockets up out of the earth like some evil, jagged tower. "There! That's the captain's magic! Let's go!"

"Hell yeah!" Wren lets out a hoot as we start to spiral down to our assigned sector of the city.

"Hold on! Don't go so fast!" I yell over to him. "Someone's gonna see us, we need to give them time to get distracted-"

"So? We're here for a fight!" Wren smirks. "Anyway, it's not like you're in charge, I'm the oldest here."

"Maybe Giles should be in charge!" Martin pipes up. "He has glasses, right?"

"Martin, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said." I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing to God that I had been paired with Julius or Alice or anyone other than these two. "Fine, Wren, you lead us, but for the love of GOD, please don't do anything dumb."

Wren's ego is just growing by the minute, and he even does a fist bump in midair. I roll by eyes at him before looking back down at the city, and notice some soldiers running out of a large building and towards the center of town. "There!" I point out. "That's where-"

"Where the prisoners are being held!" Wren cuts me off rudely. "Martin, you head towards the closest wall and start making a hole in it. I doubt we'll have time to escort the civilians to the main gate. And you two-" he glances over at Giles and I. "We're going in hot, so get ready!"

"Aye aye!" Martin swoops away towards an abandoned section of the wall, his brown grimoire already flipping open. I don't have time to watch him activate his wood magic and land, because Wren, Giles and I start our dive. The wind whips around us, and the few Diamond guards still stationed at the building finally notice us. "Look out!" They start to open their Grimoires, but it's too late.

"Illusion Magic: Sudden Death."

There's seven of them, more than I expected, but the two that I don't manage to transmit the illusion to stand there shocked as their comrades suddenly start screaming and clutching at their stomachs. "Huh? What the hell? What's wrong?" 

"Feather Magic: Harpy's Fury!"

They look up just in time to see a barrage of sharpened feathers shoot down at them. The projectiles cut and stab, until the remaining enemies fall to the ground in an unconscious heap, just in time for the three of us to make our graceful landing.

"That was awesome! Did you see me take those guys down?! Did ya?!" Wren nudges one of the fallen with his boot, getting no reaction in return.

Giles puts his broom down and frowns curiously at the enemy through his spectacles. "What did you do to them?" he asks me. "I mean, what did you show them?"

I shrug. "Not much..." I gulp nervously, forcing myself to shut the images away in a compartment of my brain. "Intestines usually does it."

Giles winces a little, but shakes his head. "Well, you distracted them-"

"Come on! We're going to be slower than the other teams if you keep chit-chatting!" Wren yells, already halfway through the door. Giles and I exchange an exasperated look before running after him.

To our surprise, the first halls seem rather empty. If I had to guess, this is some sort of common area for the town. Which means that there's a large, central room, perfect for holding a large number of prisoners. There's probably more guards stationed around there-

Sure enough, we turn the corner and come across an opening. There's a large double door, barricaded shut, with three guards in front. They seem surprised to see us, but we don't give them time to act. Well, more specifically... Giles doesn't."

"Horn Magic: Mighty Ox!"

With a loud yell, Giles balls up his fists and punches forward with both at the same time. Right on cue, two sharp, massive horns form around them, spotless ivory shining in the lantern light. As he thrust forward, the horns broke free, rocketing towards the enemy. With a resounding bang, they went flying back, breaking through the door and skidding to a stop on the tile floor beyond. "There!"

"Damn, Giles-" I can't help but say, my mouth twisting into a smile. Giles, soft spoken, bookish Giles, was a beast! No wonder Alice liked him so much. 

Giles brushes off his sleeves before giving me an uncharacteristically confident smile. "Surprised? You've seen this magic many times."

"Yeah? And it still blows me away every time."

"GUYS?" Wren suddenly wines. "Come on, we have a shit ton of people to save."

I don't answer, just sticking my tongue out at him briefly before running to enter the great hall. Just as we thought, it's packed to the brim with people, frightened civilians who are huddled together on blankets and flimsy looking cots. "Y-You're Magic Knights!" one of them exclaims, tears edging her eyes as she realizes that they are saved. 

"Yeah, yeah, we're the Grey Deer." Wren crosses his arms as he "kindly" addresses the crowd. "Everyone, get up and get moving! We've prepared an escape route to get you all out of here before the Silver Eagles get here to kick these guys' asses!"

There's a flurry of movement as people jump up, grabbing their meager belongings and scrambling to get ready. Wren gives us a worried look, his eyes narrowing slightly. I know what he's thinking: this is going a little too smoothly. Let's get out of here. "Giles-" Wren turns to address him. "Make a hole in that wall over there. It's quicker than walking all the way back through the building."

Giles nods, bringing out his grimoire once again. "Right!" He directs his attention to the wall, his back to us. "Horn Magic-"

Midsentence, I see it appear on his back. A ball of energy shoots between Wren and I to hit him, and on impact I see his body freeze in place.

My eyes widen, not quite taking in the sight, not before it's too late.

"GILES-"

"AAAAAAH-"

Giles's body crunches up, a quickly growing spot of green foam spreading over his back. His shirt dissolves along with it, and I see that his skin has been burnt an angry red color. With one last agonized cry, Giles stumbles and falls to his knees, shaking with pain.

What?! Wren and I finally react, spinning around to see a group of ten mages coming into the room behind us. One of them, the man in front, wears a fluffy black coat, his hair slicked back over his head, and a wide, cruel smile on his face. Three stones are embedded in his head, one on each cheek and another above his lip. His grimoire is an acid green color, matching the magic that hit Giles, and floats open in front of him. Wren and I stay frozen in place, our heart pounding as if we were in the sights of an apex predator.

Because... that's exactly what this man is.

Almost in slow motion, he speaks.

"Slime Mold Magic... release."

A shuddering breath is ripped from Giles's throat as the magic leaves his body, returning to this man's Grimoire. I glance back to see him sit up, still pale and shaky. Shit! Who is this guy?! I turn back to look at this new enemy. He's strong, I can tell... oh god... 

"You three... Magic Knights. I can tell that you're young." The mage licks his lips. "And full of potential. We value that in the Diamond Kingdom. It's not something I should waste." The way the words leave his lips is akin to a hiss from a snake. "So, I'll give you one chance... leave now, and I won't harm you."

"No way!" Wren immediately answers, his hand on his Grimoire. His eyes hold none of their usual mirth; only shrewd observation as he takes in his options. I nod slowly along with him, still formulating a plan of my own. "We came here to save these people, and that's exactly what we'll do."

The mage laughs, the cruel sound echoing through the hall. A few of the frightened civilians behind us are whimpering in fear. "Foolish children... do you really want to feel the wrath of one of the Shining Generals?"

"H-Huh?" The threat takes me by surprise and I can't help but let the gasping word leave my lips. "But..." I glance at Wren, who has gone pale as well. "Wasn't the General supposed to be in the center of town?"

"Silly girl." The Mage laughs again, louder this time, his Grimoire already flipping to a new page.

"Did you think we'd only send one?"

ooooooooooooh noooooo MC has to fight a shining general now... with two questionable comrades lol. How will this turn out? Find out whenever I decide to update again lol!

#black clover #spicy #illusion #fic #julius novachrono x reader #julius novachrono

[christinaengela]

I’ve been writing stories basically since I could hold a wax crayon, and as any writer might tell you, any book they’ve created holds a special place of its own in their heart! It’s no less true for me in the case of “Blachart” in that respect because of how that book is a milestone for me! Why? Well, because it was my first completed and published novel, and also because it’s the first of my books to be released as an audiobook!

You may wonder how I wrote “Blachart”, how it got to be what it is now, what the journey was like – and how long it took! To do that, I’ll have to take you back to the beginning!

It all started in 1986 – 34 years ago! I was 12 years old and in my first year of high school – a budding writer who occasionally caught the spotlight in English class for essay and composition writing! That was when I started working on the foundations of what would become “Blachart”.

Back then, however, the story was called “The Red Star” and it featured the some of the same characters (under different names) and the story plot was somewhat different – and if you’ve read “Blachart” and were handed a copy of “The Red Star” circa 1986, you would find it… well, unrecognizable!

In 1987 I’d rewritten the same story into another notebook under the title “Galaxy 1”, sowing the seeds of what was to later become the first title in the Galaxii Series. By 1988, the basic plot had evolved into the more familiar story of a starship Captain (then Mykl Nikolls, not the more familiar Mykl d’Angelo) being rescued from his broken down ship – and the introduction of the formidable Corsairs… and a character then called Black Heart. By 1989 I already had a good idea of the broader story the series would take – beginning with a back-story called “Galaxy” which would set the scene for the later books. “Galaxy” became “Galaxii” in 1990, and “Blachart would follow on to “Galaxii” in the series… except that the newer prequel presented me with considerable difficulties at the time.

“Galaxii” – the story that would set the foundation for the rest of the series, and be the book from which the series took its name – was a problem child. It went through numerous redrafts and complete rewrites before eventually being published – only in 2020! When published, it was under the title “Best Served Cold” – and as a standalone novel, not part of the actual series!

“Blachart” meanwhile, in 1990 was far closer to completion in draft form, and continued to receive the bulk of my writing attention. By the time I finished high school in 1991, I had a rough idea where I wanted the story to lead. But life was hectic, and tended to get in the way – in January 1992 I was conscripted into the SA Army and had a hell of a lot on my plate with gender dysphoria. My life generally took me into places I did not wish to go. My writing at the time was rather spotty, confined mostly to completing short stories and working up to mastering longer writing pieces. During this time, I delivered short stories like “The Devils In The Sky” (1993) and “A Really Bad Day In The Life Of Lance Corporal Thomas O’Blivion” (1995).

Eventually, in February 1998 I finished the last handwritten draft of “Blachart”! …And then it lay fallow for some time longer, while a lot of other things unfolded in my personal life, in terms of gender identity, self-discovery, and career. In 1999 I embarked on my transition – and entered a world both terrifying and amazing all at once!

Then when things had settled down somewhat, in 2003, I finally typed and edited that draft on a PC, and launched into the modern way of writing novels! I found it far easier and faster to type and edit on a PC than doing rewrites of my books by hand as I’d always done previously! This change set me off on revising all my other pieces as I copy-typed them into Word on PC’s at work! Later I finally obtained a useable PC at home, and that accounts for my rapid progress and increase in production of reading material – which I’ve been told is somewhat prolific!

Anyway, back in 2005, after years of struggling to find a publisher to take on any of my writing, I chanced upon that wonder (and bane) of our time – the internet – and tripped over the concept of self-publishing! In the same year, I self-published the eBook in its original most basic form on Lulu.com. Over the next few years, I ran several updates in content improvements and covers. In the meantime, I’d also published several of its sequels (“Demonspawn”, “Black Sunrise”, “The Time Saving Agency” and “Space Sux!” which were then all part of the Galaxii series).

Very probably the first cover, 2005.

Another cover for Blachart, 2005.

New series cover, 2007.

In July 2014 I was picked up by a ‘traditional publisher’, a small press. “Blachart” was the first of my books they re-released with a new cover created by one of their staff. The content went through a two-stage editing process, and by the time it was released in late 2014, “Blachart” was around 49,600 words long!

In 2015, “Demonspawn” (book 2 in the series) was re-released by the publisher. With another 5 or 6 books still waiting to be re-released, the publisher dragged their feet to the point where it appeared they were going to release just one book a year! In the meantime I’d had to take the self-published versions all down from all the places they’d been available on the internet, and I wasn’t making any money off them at all!

Fortunately that state of affairs didn’t last very long – due to an identity crisis at the publisher which came to a head in mid 2016 when they booted out all writers of what they called “not pure horror” – I found myself without a publisher again! Instead of feeling distraught, I was overjoyed, and leapt back into indie publishing again – with gusto!

For the remainder of 2016, I worked on putting all my completed books back up on indie platforms again, and then also on completing some unfinished projects. It took a while for me to find my indie feet again, and “Blachart” and its siblings went through several cover redesigns in the process, including a change from print size of pocket book to 6×9.

Both my parents were also writers – unpublished for the most part – and during 2018 I finished editing and publishing of most of my parent’s works. Then I took a look at the channels through which my books have been distributed – and decided that I should also place my titles at Smashwords to gain access to their distribution network also. I later also added EBooks2go to that distribution chain. Every bit of knowledge and trick of the trade I learned, I also applied retroactively to all my books – including “Blachart”.

During 2018 – while I was at it (the most dangerous words known to humanity) as the old saying goes, I spotted a couple of editing errors left over from my “traditional” publishing days, and set off to check the whole manuscript for more!

This sparked off another complete edit – and then I added a little bit here, and a little bit there… and before I realized it, a drastic complete rewrite was underway! (Insert pained groan here).

I evaluated each sentence. I added a stack of more material… back-stories and extras that would enrich and enhance the overall experience of what I had envisioned as the Galaxii Series! Two weeks later, at over 84000 words, the Fifth Edition of “Blachart” was born!

To complete the metamorphosis, I designed a fantastic new cover which would also form the basis of a template for the entire Galaxii Series, and which I also modified for my other series, Quantum and Panic!

It was somewhere around July 2019, that I became friends with Brandon Mullins of Moon Books Publishing – I’d just submitted a short story I wrote regarding the topical “Storm Area 51” event in Nevada for September, which MBP was going to release in good time for the event. A little later, it became evident that we were going to be collaborating more in future! In light of this, I was the Editor for a sci-fi short story anthology “Christina Engela’s Strangely Compelling SciFi” (Dec 2019) and still have a few upcoming jobs to do for MBP.

Brandon wanted to help me distribute my books further, and so around October 2019 I took down all the print versions of my books on Lulu and handed them to MBP for distribution through Amazon. I subsequently decided to leave Lulu and to do the same for the eBook versions as well, although I’ll still be handling eBooks on other platforms.

One of the many ways Brandon has been of immense help to me is in making my books available as audiobooks! Although a number of my short stories had been included in anthologies I’d contributed to when they were turned into audiobooks, this was the very first time a whole novel of mine had been released as an audiobook – and it was amazing to hear it!

In this respect, “Blachart” is the first – and the journey really got interesting at that point! It started with finding a narrator – and Brandon had to put up with my perfectionism and pickiness! Poor guy! *wink* At any rate, after reviewing a few audition clips in February 2020, Brandon sent me one that grabbed my attention – by the throat!

The audition in question came from one Nigel Peever – a BBC and London stage actor who also has a formidable reputation in narrating eBooks! To be blunt, I was definitely blown away – Nigel gave us not just one, but two options – with or without sound effects and dramatization!

Mr. Peever is an extraordinary narrator – not only reading the text with emotional expression, but he also included sound effects in the final mix – so the story sounds rather a lot like an old-style radio play, but all read by one person doing different voices and accents! I think it sounds absolutely amazing! Nigel was also kind enough to design the cover for the audiobook as you see it below – and so he’s also a graphic designer as well!

After much consultation and backing-and-forthing and wondering how we could afford this, Brandon came through for me and did me a real solid! Nigel would record “Blachart” with full dramatization and sound effects!

Due to Nigel having previous commitments to complete, recording of “Blachart” was due to start in April 2020, and the finished production was sent to ACX/Audible at the start of June.

On July 09, 2020 – due to delays resulting from the COVID-19 pandemic, “Blachart” was finally released as an audiobook! When I first heard it, the result was fantastic! As a writer, I’d often imagined the sort of voice I’d like to have my stories heard in – that is, inside the reader’s heads… and what a voice! What talent – what characterization! What interpretation! That said, I can’t quite put into words just how marvelous it is to hear my work, words that I wrote, being not just read aloud in front of a microphone – but interpreted… lived… with depth of emotion and wonderfully appropriate feeling and thought!

People do a lot of things for payment, it’s true – and between us, we all stand to profit from our involvement with “Blachart” – but as the creator of the story I feel a swell of gratitude and appreciation towards both Brandon and Nigel for making the audiobook what it is – and for giving my words a voice.

Nigel meanwhile, is busy recording book 2 in the series – “Demonspawn“, and I can’t wait to hear it!

The final release of “Blachart” is 10 hours 26 minutes long, and I’m sure you will enjoy it as much as I have!

Until next time, keep reading!

Cheers! 🙂

If you would like to know more about Christina Engela and her writing, please feel free to browse her website.

If you’d like to send Christina Engela a question about her life as a writer or transactivist, please send an email to [email protected] or use the Contact form.

Show your appreciation for Christina’s work!

All material copyright © Christina Engela, 2020.

“Blachart” – A Writing Journey I've been writing stories basically since I could hold a wax crayon, and as any writer might tell you, any book they've created holds a special place of its own in their heart!

#audiobooks #blachart #ebook #print #The Galaxii Series

[gruvu]

Still Alive: Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Probably the most boring chapter in this darn story.

Weeks had gone by horrifically slow, since the "release" of his test subject, well there was that period of the entire facility falling apart due to a monstrous bird. It was terrifying how quickly things fell apart due to a single entity. 

Now everything was back to tip top shape, test chambers were sturdy, test subjects dying, cores doing what they were supposed to do. What they were made for, following the "boss's" orders. 

The boss was now a bit preoccupied with her new "project", making hardened killers from the offspring of the same bird that almost caused disaster for Aperture.

Nigel didn't question it, he was doing his job, like he was programmed to do. Like he was programmed to...enhance the truth for test subjects, it was for science! However... He hadn't had a test subject since her. Boss had already given a limited supply, and the ones he was given were not the sharpest. He had probably gone through almost a dozen before he got her. Oddly enough, he was...he was...he didn't know how he felt. But now he had no testing to do, it would be like this till the Boss gets more test subjects. Nigel could be patient, besides he somewhat enjoyed making his rounds on his rail. It got him out of his office, and when he wasn't taking a "stroll", he was in his office. He was extremely bored. So today instead of taking a right, he took a left, to shake things up a bit. He hummed to himself, off key, as he moved on his rail. "And science gets done, and you make a neeaat gun, for the people who are..." His humming died off when he spotted something glimmering. Moving as close as his rail would let him, he managed to see the oddest thing. A glob of wet blue paint, well technically it was a type of gel, it was strange that this glob was here. This area had no known gel usage for testing, so why would it be here? Yeah the stuff gets everywhere, he still had some in his gears after she sprayed him. "It was for science." She had said simply, a smug smile on her paint smeared face. "Well we CAN'T do science if I'm blind." He had tried to use his "eyelids" to wipe the orange gel from his optical, only to smear it and make it worse. He heard her let out a snort before she climbed up to him using a weighted cube. "Stop stop stop, let me do it. Open your optical as wide as you can." Nigel had done what she asked, and soon he was able to see her smug face up close. She had taken off her apron, to clean him up a bit. "Spraying me was not part of the test." "Of course it wasn't because it was fun." She tapped his shell making him blink. "You wouldn't know about that soda boy." Nigel had her go back to testing, without an bathroom break. She was ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. "Ey Nigel! It's Virgil, need you to come in for your function updates." Nigel snapped out of the flash back, and began to back up his rail. "Be there soon Virg." He responded.

The monthly function updates were mandatory for all cores or testing robots, it was basically like an doctor check up. With robots, and the doctor wasn't even a doctor, he was a brown, flower print sphere with an eyeball. Virgil the maintenance core was in charge of checking up on the spheres, fixing them, replacing parts, making sure they were staying as they were programmed and he had helped fix up testing chambers. Now Virgil had his own testing course, and was somewhat famous for returning from the depths of old Aperture. He had even proven his useful skills to the Boss by slaying an corrupted program that had tried to flood Aperture and disable the Boss herself, single handedly. Since then he had updated himself slightly, put a fresh coat of paint on himself but kept most of his scratches as if they were battle scars. When Nigel had finally arrived in the repair wing, Virgil was finishing up with another core. "And please stop unlocking yourself from the rail whenever you get scared. Next time you could fall into some goo." Virgil watched the patched up core leave and caught Nigel coming through. His expression was among the lines of "Just get this over with." And "God help me". Unknown to Nigel, many...many of the cores strongly disliked him, okay that was sugar coating it. They hated him. Nigel was a snitch, a butt kisser, and well just a piece of- "Do you still have gel in your gears?! Thought I had gotten all of it." Virgil had unhooked Nigel and using a claw placed him on a pedestal, clicking him into place. "And did you fall into anymore citranium? Your shell looks stained." "That was one time." "Took more than one time to clean up your circuits." Muttered Virgil, who had moved to the computer, checking Nigel's programming. "Any desire to betray and kill or take over the facility?" "No." "Pity." "What?" "Nothing. Nothing, just mumbling. Any simulated pains or malfunctions?" "No." Virgil nodded, "Looks like everything is running smoothly other than that gel. You're lucky that's the speed stuff, if it was blue you would have had a problem." Using his handy dandy hands free Wi-Fi, he began to upload the updates, which today decided to take it's good old time. "Are you processing any logs right now? It's clogging up the updates." Nigel  blinked like he was had been caught in the middle of a day dream by a teacher. "What?" "I said-" "Oh yeah I was. Just to pass the time." Virgil rolled his eye, turning back to the loading screen. It grew quiet besides the faint buzzing of the fluorescent lights and the humming of machines. Nigel couldn't stand the quiet. It was one thing that got him, it was silence. That's why he would play music, not for the test subject but for him, it was easier to concentrate and take notes to a beat or rhythm. 

"I appreciate the setting of music but could you play something more upbeat? I can't test to this my immortal song." She had stated once. "My what? What are you even saying?" He was on the big screen, in a sandstorm. Obviously another stage, but he thought it might be good if the test subjects saw different scenery. Besides he was the only one making use of it. "Look I'm a genius, and as a genius I work better to music that wouldn't be played by angsty thirteen year olds." Her hand was on her hip, and her eyebrow was raised looking up at the screen. "But the test-" "Test is important bla bla bla, just shuffle something else. Or I can just wait till one of us drops dead." Nigel made a long, loud sigh. Gee whizz her file was right, not a morning person. He honestly didn't think she was going to make it to test five. And yet when he changed the music, she moved to it. Making a big show, he assumed for him, as she front flipped to the exit. 

"You're doing it again." Virgil yet again interrupting memory lane with Nigel, he moved his handles trying to catch the other core's attention. "Are you malfunctioning?" "No!" Nigel defended himself, malfunctioning was a sure ticket to going...ka BOOM. Every core had been fitted with a self destructor program, the Boss made sure there were no more morons to mess with her rule. "There's just...Virgil...I have a question..." "And what would it be?" "This is just a hypothetical question, but I'm..um...have you ever thought about a test subject and I don't know. May be...miss them?" He shrugged with his handles. Virgil had turned to look at Nigel, an surprise expression, this question and the core it was asked by was surprising. It could be a trick, Nigel could be trying to trick him for...HER.. Before he could answer the upload was completed and Nigel was placed back on the rail. "You're all set." Virgil confirmed and before Nigel could say anything, an alert came on his computer, the ventilation system was clogged. Fantastic. "And I got to go. Will see you next update or earlier." And with that Virgil had successfully avoided the question like a professional. Which left Nigel to his daily routine of boredom.

"Now this data makes a beautiful line And we're out of beta..."

#Still Alive #gruvu's writing #aperture tag #Virgil #Nigel #Glados