#alex on the other hand? gohd damn walking rorschach pattern ink blot test of a character

[theotherrichardpapen]

letter to his father - franz kafka // origin story, sink - desiree dallagiacomo // the autobiography of my mother - jamaica kincaid // caged: memoirs of a cage-fighting poet - cameron conaway

#you know you're in trouble when the painting of saturn devouring his son by francisco de goya almost makes it on here 🤡 #like minds #murderous intent #like minds 2006 #alex forbes #sad to admit i have been neglecting my (other) boy in my content lately #most of the time alex only really features in posts that are about him and nigel together #and if every there was a subject i'd be making a post about for alex it would ofc be about him and his daddy issues #i think it's because strangely enough nigel is easier to get a handle on in terms of character introspection #but that's probably down to the fact that regardless of whether you believe the narrative alex gives about who nigel was #we at least DO get a more solidly constructed idea of his character (yes even if it is the version of him put forth by alex #designed to paint himself as the victim) #alex on the other hand? gohd damn walking rorschach pattern ink blot test of a character #like *holding him up by the scruff of his neck* what does this character look like #you could have interpretations for this guy out the wazoo and it'll probably be wildly different from the person standing next to you #but one think i can say with certainty is this guy has a complicated relationship with his father #i don't think he hates him. but i do think there's a lot of resentment there too #that quote from ladybird where she asks her mother if she likes her and the mother says of course she loves her #and ladybird asks but do you like me? and the mother just responds that she wants whats best for her #to which ladybird says what if this is the best version of me #or something #that's them #to me at least #i suppose that's why alex was as drawn to nigel as he was #yes nigel was also spouting on about predetermined destinies foretold by fate and whatnot #but the fundamental difference is that nigel leaves all the power to achieve that in alex's hands #the only thing he ever really asks of him is for alex to embrace his inner most desires. no matter how dark or twisted they may be #alex's father is there telling him that a better version of himself exists if only alex could live up to expectations #nigel is there telling him that a better version of himself exists if only alex could forgo expectations of himself entirely #if that makes sense 🤡