#i think I've gotta maybe also take into account how new this is for me

[trashlie]

Love and Deepspace Thoughts

I promised some thoughts about Love and Deepspace and we're a week into the game and I think I can finally ramble about it for a while. I've been immensely enjoying myself and screaming daily with my friends lol and I think I've been able to formulate my thoughts pretty well! Idk how many people actually wanna read this, but I always love to have a record of my thoughts - especially something this early in game, because knowing papergames, there's going to be so much angst, so many twists and turns, and I'm already seeing a lot of threads of how things could play out and I like to be able to look back and see how wrong I was lol.

I play on the North American server and have completed chapter 7, so this will be full of spoilers for story content, as well as a lot of spoilers for anecdotes, tender moments, and some of the myth stuff - I'll try to denote where I'll mention certain spoilers in case you're trying avoid certain things, but it'd be impossible to write all of my sincere thoughts and capture all of what I really love and am looking forward to without spoilers, unfortunately.

Below will have a lot of thoughts on the current LIs as well as speculation about the 2 coming LIs, as well as their dynamics, and further speculation on where I think - or maybe just would like to see - the story could be going. To be clear, I have not cleared all anecdotes or myths, as I'm trying to savor things and good lord I cannot pull all those cards; a lot of this is compilation between my experiences as well as @poisonheart and further things I've read and discussed in the server. I will also be approaching this as a longtime player of MLQC, papergames' other otome game, because I cannot help but see the comparisons between the game and sing the praises of where I feel like they've grown and refined, but I don't think you'll need to have played MLQC to read this - you can honestly just ignore those bits lol >A<

What I can outright, sans spoilers, say is that I'm really enjoying Love and Deepspace so much and I think that it's come at a really good time for me, personally, as a MLQC player, because there's so much in game that's been completed and we're basically going through the motions doing our dailies, waiting for our new chapter events or participating in the occasional events (if you aren't hoarding resources for SP wish tree events) so it feels SO refreshing to dive into a new game that takes place in the same universe/world but have so much new stuff to uncover, so much new lore, new characters to meet and get to know. In MLQC I have a very clear favorite, but so far in LADS, I find that while I think I might have a favorite, I really enjoy all three LIs so much and I don't feel bad when I pull someone else's card, because it means I get to gobble all the lore! I don't feel like "UUUGGHH THIS GUY" when we get to X's chapter route. Perhaps it's just that LADS really caters to specific tropes and cliches in a way that I enjoy, but I feel so much like they've done these characters great justice! This goes for the MC, too, who doesn't feel at all like a cookie cutter MC meant to be a stand in for our own self-insert, but rather has a lot of personality of her own, is feisty and discerning.

Also, I gotta give a lot of props to the character customization features. I understand why people are upset that you can only change your hair and hair color in the photobooth function, but we rarely see MC out of that feature - so much of the game is in first person POV - and the times that we do see her, she's seen from the back, so maintaining the same hair for all characters allows them to keep something they can use for her stand in in such scenarios. But the customization is legit nuts! You can do so much with it, I spent so long tweaking mine the day before the game launched! I want to make side accounts I will never play just to play with that function lol

But let's get into the good stuff!

I really cannot sing the praises for the LIs enough, and that's going to be the bulk of what I'll talk about, because even this early in game, there's so much nuance to the LIs in both their characters as well as their dynamics with MC. Everyone brings a little something different to the table, and with what little we know of the upcoming LIs, I think even if for some reason the current LIs don't work for people, maybe the new ones might? But personally, I am so invested in all three of them! While I think I have a definite ranking in favor forming, it's not like it means I dislike any of them at all, and I'm always so eager to learn more!

One thing I'd like to mention before getting into it is that I love the inclusion of the myth cards, and though they are treated as alternate universes, I think it's more like they are previous or parallel timelines, but I'll try to get into that a little more as I talk about the characters!

From what I can see so far, I think Rafayel is one of the more popular fans with the North American/English-speaking fanbase - and it's not hard to see why! He's sassy, provides good comedy, he's fun to bully, and he's really pouty. I had a feeling he would be my favorite from the get go, just because I tend to have a thing for really pathetic men lmao and I have SUCH a fondness for him. I said I think I have a ranking forming, but it feels WRONG to rank them because that's how much I really like them, but if I had to, Rafayel's #2 position is really, REALLY close to #1! But the thing is, it's not just because of all of those traits above. I'd argue that he's one of the characters who has a lot of iceberg depth, as in there's a lot of depth to him that may get ignored or glossed over because of the sass and brattiness that accompanies, or even masks, it. As poisonheart puts it, the comedy hides the pain - and Rafayel comes with a LOT of pain! There's a delicious complexity to him where he is one part needy and clingy, but also one part resentful and hurt. MC made a promise that she doesn't recall - whether it was in this life or another - and you really get the sense that Rafayel wants to settle the score, but at the same time his feelings get in the way of those bitter, hurt feelings, and I really enjoy this complexity a lot! I think it elevates all of the sassiness, gives it a purpose and meaning.

Take his Nightly Stroll Bond: on the one hand it comes across as comedic and even manipulative -and it is! But when you get into it, you understand why. That's not to say if I think there's justification for manipulation because that's not what I'm here for; I'm just here for a good time and a good time I'm having. But when Rafayel says "It's been 800 years!" I don't think that's an exaggeration - he just isn't talking about just the day that he waited. Is faking an injury/illness and checking himself into a hospital overkill? Sure lol but that's what makes him so delightful to me. There's all of this hurt and unaddressed resentment, but as much as that, there's all of these feelings! Because even though he's hurt, he CARES about MC, SO MUCH. That's the problem! It would be easier if he didn't care, but he does. He's so needy, so clingy, he wants her attention because he's waited for so long while she was off, having forgotten him, living a life that abandoned and left him behind while he waited and waited and listen ;~; my stinky fish man I'm so sorry I cannot wait for her to learn the truth. I want to know SO BADLY what happened! When did they meet, anyway? He makes a comment on the homescreen when he's sulking lol about "See you in three months... three minutes, landlubber"

HOW LONG DID HE WAIT FOR HER IF ONE MINUTE IS ONE MONTH TO HIM?!

And listen, idk what anyone else thinks, but the end of chapter 7 had me in my FEELINGS, with the way he tried to leave her at the bottom of the ocean - but he couldn't, because of their promise, because he's unable to go back on it, because even though she forgot all about him and their promise and went about her life without a memory of him, he can't do that. It's the hurt! It's the resentment! It's the confliction between his feelings, because it seems like they take up equal space - his hunger for her attention, for what feels like she was so fickle to give and take away, the way she meant so much to him and he feels like it wasn't the same ;A;

(I've contemplated how possible it is that they met when she was younger, before she was attacked in the Wanderer incident 14 years ago, and if that could somehow have affected her memory, but I feel like it must be something greater, because seeing the fish glow in his heart means the vow they made was binding, so something strong must've caused her to forget. But that's also why I've contemplated if this was in another life? I'm less sure about this, because in Rafayel's second anecdote, he crosses paths with MC at university, though of course she doesn't recognize or recall him, and he specifically recognizes her voice. "Though her voice has matured, her pronunciation, enunciation, the rhythm of her speech, and even the emphasis in her sentences... Every word strikes like a drumbeat, awakening long-buried memories in his mind" It feels more likely that it happened while they were younger. Also I feel like this passage really encompasses her significance, that he can recall these details, to recognize them after so much time ;~; stinky fish you make my heart ache ;~;)

I appreciate so much that they've given Rafayel so much depth, that under the comedy of his pathetic, sulky exterior is so much reason for it, that there's an undercurrent of resentment and something dark - after all, we haven't actually uncovered what happened with the painting and Raymond. We saw the mermaid skeleton in his house - was Rafayel seeking revenge for his people?

But Rafayel also shows tremendous emotional sensitivity, in ways that sometimes catch me off guard. I distinctly remember lol sitting in shock after 4-3, and the text from Rafayel that pops up asking MC if she got the thing, telling her about how he asked a seagull to send a white seallshell why hasn't it arrived yet lol and I remember going "NOT NOW RAFAYEL READ THE ROOM ;~;" and then he goes on, telling her "if you draw on it and put it into the ocean the sea will carry the feelings you poured into the drawing to the soul you yearn for" and I just started SOBBING lol ;~; It was just so.... poignant but so simple. He didn't say I'm sorry for your loss or my condolences or anything like that - it was his own chaotic, weird method, but it was sincere. Likewise, he shows that similar sincerity in Ocean At Night, despite initially dismissing paper lanterns as silly human traditions - a lantern will be blown out why would you put all your hope in something so fleeting - coming around to using his own flame, that will never go out, to light a lantern for MC with the prayer that her hopes will never go out. ;~; Listen, I cried. I was TENDER my heart was soggy ;~;

And while I know people love a good pathetic man and enjoy chaotic sass and the fact that we really, truly NEVER know where his plots are going to go lmao - always an adventure with him - I hope they appreciate that depth and don't disavow the darker elements of him that give reason to those core elements of him. Rafayel is a character that carries his hurt and bitterness on his sleeve, rather than hiding it or shoving it away, and I really look forward to exploring it and all the messiness it has to offer, and how it will play out for MC.

On the very far end of the spectrum is Zayne. He's the character I expected to not be too fond of, so I was so pleasantly surprised as we got to know him to find myself proven wrong! I expected him to be... hm... I guess colder? More prickly? Than he turns out to be? And, admittedly, he is still rather aloof and cold on the surface, but I think it helps that he and MC have that history and that we are introduced very early to them through the A Frozen Promise Bond. It made it readily apparent that Zayne was not a cold and aloof person because he was too lofty or something but rather... it just seemed like maybe he'd been someone more awkward when he was younger, someone who didn't know how to connect very well with the daughter of this family friend, but he still tried. The snow seal took me out, you guys ;~; I never moved on from that!!!!!!

Despite seeming so cold, there's a certain kind of warmth to Zayne, just under the surface. He shows his care and concern in the ways he knows best, as MC's PCP, caring about her well being and health, but their Tender Moments are a collection of wonderful moments showing them growing closer, getting to know each other better as people, as friends and equals. For the record, Starry Nocturne hurt me so much, but it did two things I thought were so important. a. It showed that he was not infallible, which I think is very important, because often characters are written in their roles as geniuses who never fail, or else accomplish the impossible, and to see him lose a patient, while painful to read, made him so human but also b. It gave him that moment of vulnerability with MC where he could lean on her. It's so, SO important! for a MI to be able to lean on the MC, I feel, for them to be those equals, for him to be able to be vulnerable with her, but especially so for a character like Zayne who feels very reserved and closed off.

MC makes statements about feeling like there's distance between her and Zayne, especially when they first come back into each others' lives for the first time, so getting to indulge in these little Tender Moments of them taking little steps towards each other, closing that gap between them, is so satisfying! Having that history gives them a dynamic unlike Rafayel or Xavier's with her, because she has her memories of their childhood, of who he was when they were younger, and who they are now, and can compare the warmth of him opening up, of the chuckles and laughter she elicits from him. They also have this kind of flirtship I really enjoy - something very coy, not in an uwu so shy way just.... very coy, both dancing around the bush, before one of them calls it what it is - I thought the A Heartfelt Paradise Tender Moment a really good example of this!

It's so easy to read Zayne as being cold and aloof, but he really does have so much warmth, he just isn't good at showing it. He doesn't wear things on his sleeves like Rafayel or MC. But good LORD when he's in private....!!!!!!! The Business Trip Memoria TOOK. ME. OUT!!!!!! This is the game launch and they're already throwing this at us?! It was, to me, such a mature kind of date to give us? Two people who have had to grow used to each other's absence in their lives, and continue having to make space for those absences, as both are busy people - Zayne, a dedicated cardiac surgeon and MC a hunter - and what it means to grow used to the absence and to miss each other. But listen - when MC got in his lap?! She was touching his mouth? His face?! "What did you want me to do, in front of all those people?" he asked her? SIR?!

HELLO?! Girl. Listen.

I had to fan myself alfjkkfkjafjkafkjaf lmao

I looooooove them for that element of normalcy - for the people who have important careers and lives that they have to attend to, but still find the room for each other in their lives. The implication that Zayne rushed his way through school, took on grueling workloads and lacked a social life amongst classmates much older than him, not because he loved learning or even because he was so dedicated to his career - but because it was his way back to MC, so that he could return to stand in front of her? GOD. HOW DO YOU MOVE ON FROM THAT? HOW DO YOU HANDLE THAT? Knowing that he did it all so that he could stand in front of you again? HOWLING pls LISTEN.

Zayne may feel cold on the surface, but he is SO warm, he cares so much. And not just about MC, either. Thank God, too, because I'm not huge on the "Cold man only cares about the woman he loves" type, but Zayne cares so much about his patients, and making sure they feel seen, cared about? His first anecdote had me crying about seniors in hospitals with no relatives to accompany them to their examinations ;~; What a man.

I haven't had a chance to dig into his myth yet, which is a shame, but his third anecdote DID destroy me. I'm not even exaggerating, I was sobbing in my bedroom - and the worst part is I knew it would be painful going in and I still wasn't braced for impact enough! I mean, frankly, both his second and third hurt but nothing like the third! Parallel universe Zayne in a grim reaper role where he must kill humans turning into Wanderers - so very opposite the surgeon version of him who does everything he can to save people, both of them living parallel lives to each other, experiencing each others' lives through their dreams/nightmares. THIS HAS ME SCREAMING!!!!!

So much of MLQC has a lot to do with timelines - parallel worlds, some alternate universes, a whole timeline that's technically the same timeline reset but also still moving forward...... lol I can't help but think about where all of this fits in to LADS. Even though the Myth storylines are taken as alternate universes.... I think they're part of everyone's stories. We see echos of them. I haven't finished Rafayel's but even little moments, like making a break for it and having to run to escape attention echos a scene of Rafayel and the Princess MC making a mad dash in the market alley to escape the palace guards. It feels especially true for Xavier and MC, which I'll get to. But especially with Zayne - whose myth, again, I haven't been able to dig into, but seems to pose him as a sort of god, a forseer - we have two very different timelines/events now: his myth/Philos story and his parallel Grim Reaper self. How many timelines/parallel universes are we playing with, I wonder....?

I really want to revisit this in the future when I do get to dig into his myth, because I can see how Rafayel and Xavier's myths tie into their identities and their dynamics with MC, but I don't know yet how any of that works for Zayne and MC! I'm so intrigued, I can't wait!!!!

And finally, Xavier. God, I should have known lol in retrospect I should have realized Xavier would be my weak spot but listen..... sometimes I gotta lie to myself lol I love everything about him, the seemingly gentle eepy man who is also simultaneously a walking weapon of mass destruction but also so easily stumped by a UFO machine lol. Much like Rafayel, I'm especially fond of him because of the depth and dynamics, but also, honestly, much like Rafayel, he just checks all the boxes. Poisonheart puts it best when she says Xavier is the perfect middle-ground of the two - he's not as sassy as Rafayel is, but he'll still roast MC, he's very grounded and comes off a little aloof sometimes, but he doesn't seem nearly as aloof as Zayne, and he's also really unintentionally funny! He plays the middle-ground of them SO well. And where Zayne was working hard in order to show up in front of MC again and Rafayel has a score to settle but also so much neediness, it feels like Xavier has a LOT of karma to make up for.

Now, I personally don't have his myth cards, but poisonheart does, so everything I know I've experienced via her and all of our hours of screaming lol and the thing that really gets me the most about Xavier and MC is like..... okay it's the way he's clearly this really incredibly strong guy, but he plays the submissive prey role so well? lol He begs if she tells her to, he doesn't resist, he indulges her, he plays along - but when the mood strikes, he'll pull the dominant switch and flip the table and alkfjlFKJKAFJ ALKJFAF LAKJFAKFKJFAJ AFLKJD GODDDDDDDD IT GETS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Xavier has that sense of like.... everything for MC, right? Like he's making up for a lifetime. There's implications that maybe he's been searching through space and time for her, trying to find her, that they've lost and each other countless times before - or rather, she's lost him - and his Shooting Stars myth supports this. Sometimes it's really subtle, sometimes it stands out so much I'm in agony. She remarks so often how he feels so distant, like he's as out of reach and mysterious as a star. She has nightmares about him disappearing and he is incredibly reassuring about staying, about not leaving. And maybe I'm reading into it, but he even talks about her hanging on tight, like maybe if she's strong enough, she can keep him from ever being taken away, keep them from being separated this time.

He's also the one who feels like he's actually endured all the years. Rather than separate timelines or parallel worlds it feels like Xavier has actually traveled through space and time, like he's the same Xavier from the myth himself, which makes him talking about the loneliness of stars so much worse. How long has he been alone, searching for her? ;~;

But their dynamic just really gets to me - it's those echos, the way MC subconsciously acts on them, and how indulgent Xavier is towards her. It's the playful teasing and the gentleness and how he plays so submissive and docile but when the mood strikes he can switch it up and catch her (and me!!!) off guard. It's the way he texts LMAO never writing out you or one lmao (which is marginally better than Rafayel's COMPLETE LACK OF PUNCTUATION LMAO ALFKAJFKJAFKJAFKJAFJK) It's the way he has that innocent baby face and could absolutely get away with murder.

Initially I had contemplated if it was possible he is actually a star and while maybe that isn't true I am still not certain he's human - at least he's not from our world (especially if he really is the very Xavier from the myth) but I still like to think of him as one, because he wears the star motif so well and likens himself to one so often. Also, look, I am a SUCKER for a star motif. I was doomed from the start lol.

There's just something about the agony and TRAGEDY in their past, in the echos, the subconscious fears, and the sheer indulgence!!!!! It's MC telling Xavier he might be her enemy later and the distress it caused him, prompting him to share his access privileges with her to earn her trust ;A; It's the way he's apparently spent DECADES, at the VERY LEAST, on our earth AND HE'S A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE COOK lmaoooooooo it's the stupid little lines he says because he's not as overtly clingy and pouty as Rafayel but an armful of plushies is a dreadful thing because then he doesn't have a free hand to hold MC's hand !!!!!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS?! WHINES

I could write a whole essay about Xavier and I'm restraining myself and attempting to be really, really normal about him okay?

But yeah for him it's that depth of like... the guilt and agony he carries - because not only does leaving her hurt him, but it hurts himself, too. That unbearable loneliness, the endless wait, hoping, wondering, unsure of when, or if, he'll find her again, but refusing to give up - and when he does, endeavoring to make up for it. Like, as it is, there's something about strong men being submissive that is so lakkjfkafkjfkjaf alfjakfaf but it's the way Xavier does it with MC that is soooooo INDULGENT, so VERY "for you, because it's you" that makes me want to chew my keyboard and howl at the moon and every time he reassures her he won't leave I feel dread but also I want it to be true.

I know how papergames operates. I know Xavier may mean it, but I also know.... ;A;

And to think, this is all JUST THE LAUNCH STUFF! We haven't even passed chapter 8 yet lmao We don't even have all our LIs! We've (maybe?) yet to meet our antagonist? WHICH I'M EXCITED ABOUT BTW

Listen.

I have some thoughts and I'll try to keep them short (yknow, for me) because this is already long and rambly and maybe I can just expand on this later but: Sylus and Caleb are confirmed as LIs right? But are they the same person or not??????

If Sylus = Caleb it gives us a LOT of potential for exploring some really complex, grey morality. I mean, no matter what, Sylus is going to bring grey morality lol but especially if it turns out Caleb is actually secretly the leader of Onychinus, because it brings that whole "Who is this person I thought I knew?" and more so because Onychinus is poised as an enemy to the Hunter's Association.

But something Papergames has done in MLQC and I fully expect them to do here is explore grey morality, not only in Onychinus, but the Hunter's Association. Xavier's Tender Moments Garden of Secrets brings up the implication that some Wanderers are, in fact, intelligent, and while it's rare, it can occur. And with parallel world Grim Reaper Zayne having to kill people before they turn into Wanderers it begs the question of this world: can that happen here, too? And it gets into the moral conundrums. That's not to say the Hunter's Association are bad for killing Wanderers and protecting people but it starts to bring up questions, because in Grim Reaper Zayne's world, this is being covered up. What about this world? There's also the question of what is Onychinus even doing? I fully expect to find that whatever their objective is, it will be a question of the greater good and if the ends justify the means and the such.

Ultimately, an antagonist LI has to be sympathetic in some fashion, because how else are they going to write the story for them lol. Like they can certainly have Bond/Memoria/Tender Moments that are more about the combative element of their relationship meeting the chemistry that draws them to each other, but at any rate, there has to be something that draws them to each other and makes them care, right? So therefore, he can't be entirely bad, or at least MC has to be able to empathize with him and his objective, or the cause of it or something like that.

If Caleb = Sylus, that might be more achievable because of their history, but obviously that isn't a requirement, and that can also make it more complex, because again, that whole "this person I thought I knew".

I think there's a possibility for that overlap partly because we already have a LI with a history with MC - but to be fair, Zayne's history with MC is very different than Caleb's and has a different dynamic, so even if they didn't give him the villain route, it would still play out very differently and give them a significantly different enough dynamic that I don't think it would be a big issue.

If he's not Sylus, then there's still a lot of avenues to explore with Caleb. They've already implied that Caleb wants to take care of MC, wants her to lean on him and let him play that role for him, to stop being so strong in front of him, and I think that could very well affect his story and what has lead to his "death". Being in the airforce makes me wonder if it's possible that the military is associated in any way with Onychinus - after all, didn't he say that he does top secret work involving the deepspace tunnel, and isn't Onychinus interested in that? It wouldn't be the first time a government agency was written as being corrupt lol (and again there could be a lot gray morality here where Onychinus isn't necessarily inherently bad). Caleb could have gotten involved simply by his job.

There's the revenge angle, if he, too, was an experiment subject (which would make sense because why did Granny take him in as well?) and wanting to get back at? the people who experimented on them. Or wanting to be more involved? A spy case? SO many possibilities and I'm really excited to see where it all goes!

I think regardless of how Caleb is reintroduced to the story, I imagine there's going to be some kind of conflict - his "death" and then reappearance.... did he know that was going to happen? was it planned? was he involved? I don't think they'll bring him back and yay! now she has a family member back but I think there will be some kind of strife to work through, some good ol angst that really plays with the dynamic of feeling hurt and betrayed but wanting to return to the old times that can never be returned to, wanting to seek refuge in someone who maybe doesn't exist anymore, being drawn to someone you cared so much about and feeling so conflicted about it alfkjkfjkjafjkaf kj

I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!

This is such a rambling mess so kudos to anyone who made it this far. Maybe I'll manage to write some more bitesized thoughts later @___@

#Love and Deepspace #LADS Brainrot #LADS Rafayel #LADS Zayne #LADS Xavier #LADS Caleb #LADS Sylus

[yuebings]

fic writer meme

thank u @fruitdaze @uhuraisgay @cairoscene @englishsub for tagging me!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

44 currently! double 4s? during MY lunar new year? i gotta change that up quick

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

315,042 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

my most written-for fandom is mdzs, but i don't really write for it anymore...if you look at my ao3 profile u can kinda tell i'm a sporadic one-and-done type when it comes to fic hehe no one can predict where i'll go next. my latest fandom is jujutsu kaisen!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

so you've been robbed by a musuem

the stone-filled sea

the family-dodging bathroom-dwellers association

and his wanting grows teeth

diving blind

it's like a wangxian sweep except for the last sambucky lol

5. Do you respond to comments?

i am trying to get better at that! sometimes i don't have the energy to go through and respond to every single one but trust me when i say that seeing the wonderful comments people leave truly makes my day

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

tbh i don't think i've ever written straight-up angsty endings (or at least the way i see straight up angst). every 'bad' ending has a ray of hope in it, or at least an acceptance that like...yes, this is the way it was meant to be, and to reject the outcome would be to reject everything that came before it. sometimes things were meant to go to shit. there was no other way to go. we were doomed but at least we loved each other. i will suffer but at least i can remember you. so on so forth.

with all that said, it's a toss up between the longest journey (di feijing & lei chun), or all things in pain (wen ning character study). 'angsty' endings, if only in the way i described above

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

a lot of my happy endings aren't super-sweet happy endings per se, but rather a promise or hope that things will get better. idk what that says about me lol like maybe i have more interest in the "how to become happy" part than the actual happiness itself...? but ANYWAY i'd say the sappiest ending is i have is uhhhh feel like a brand new person (msr take edibles together) because 1) their mutual attraction is finally acknowledged 2) they're making out 3) they're high as balls. what's better than this

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not any time recently! i've rarely had negative comments before and all of them have been of such a ridiculous nature that my only response was like "lmfao ok"

9. Do you write smut?

nope! not yet, at least. maybe some time in the future i'll feel like it

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you have written?

haven't written any, don't really read them either! i keep my blorbos locked up in their separate cages. siloed.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yes! kind of. if this counts, a couple years ago someone on wattpad stole over 100 wangxian fics (including mine) from ao3 and reposted them onto their own account without credit. we got their account taken down tho so all is well...but this is why i say in my ao3 profile that i do not allow reposts. please tell me if u ever see my work reposted anywhere........

i've also come across a fic in a diff fandom that was VERY clearly "inspired" by one of mine (lifting certain scenes and lines beat for beat) and gave no credit. so there's that as well.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! it's always an honor when someone wants to translate my work :)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope! my creative process is so erratic that i feel like i'd be a nightmare to co-write with, so this is probably for the better

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

this is a hard question to answer. i don't have an ultimate favorite that always stays at the top of the pile, cuz my interests change all the time! right now i'm really enjoying platonic yuuji & megumi & nobara & gojo. in terms of what i go to most often when i want a comfort re-read...finnpoe.

15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

omg. you want a DEEP CUT? i have a wip for a rarepair in an already sparse fandom...yeongshin/seobi from kingdom on netflix (the historical korean zombie drama). i LOOOOVE that show i comfort re-watch it all the time. i love their bonded-thru-trauma-frenemies healer/warrior dynamic and i have this wip going for yeongshin getting bitten and seobi developing a zombification-reversal cure through sheer willpower and spite alone........there's maybe 2k written and i was relying on a season renewal announcement to motivate me enough to get the rest of it out but uh. fellow kingdom warriors if you're out there. i think we may be losing this battle............kingdom season 3 announcement save me..............

16. What are your writing strengths?

as a haver-of-siblings, i think i do general family dynamics pretty well! someone has told me in the past that i am good at packing meaning into very few words. i also think i'm good at angsty emotional beats (i sure like writing them, at least)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

bro if there is any action scene in my work, writing it is like pulling teeth. what do you mean he's getting hit. what do you mean i have to think of an interesting way to describe punch #1 and punch #2 and punch #3. STOPPPPPPPP I CANT DO THIS.

in terms of technique i used to struggle with this thing where i NEED to perfect the writing i'm working on before i can move on. like i'd waste huge amounts of time rewriting a three sentence paragraph over and over and over again until it was perfect before i could move onto the next scene. i'm getting a lot better with that tho!

18. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics?

i've never done it myself, like, full on written-in-a-diff-lang dialogue, but i think it's cool as long as context clues/some form of translation is provided. and if proper research is done if the writer isn't a native speaker

19. First fandom you wrote for?

the man from uncle (2015). lol. napollya could have won in an alternate universe where armie h@mmer wasn't a piece of shit

20. Favorite fic you have written?

HOO. i gotta say it's my sambucky ghost fic the boy who cried ghost. it's by far my longest fic (even tho it isn't actually very long compared to others ive seen LOLLLL) and it took me AGES to write and ended up being quite personal!! part of the reason it took me so long to finish was bc i couldn't bear to write about sam struggling with grief/guilt when i was also going through something similar, so when i finally got around to writing the moment of catharsis i kinda felt like i was helping myself, too! which was a very interesting experience, and definitely served to lodge this fic in my heart forever and ever. it's not exactly popular but i'm proud of it :)

tagging @tantai-jin @bluecrystalrainingdaggers @vinelark and anyone else who wants to participate!

#BTW I AM EATING AN APPLE FRITTER. IF ANYONE EVEN CARES. #and my cat is squeaking very loudly rn. he is so cutie #yue.txt

[sinsandsuccubus]

SUNDAY NIGHT - Jack Harlow

Context: “Somethin tell me that a relapse comin.”

Genre: angst

Word Count: 2.2k+

Pairings: Jack Harlow X Ex!Fem!Reader

Warnings: n/a

a/n: Okay, so this concept was based on a story post written by the wonderful @lcandothisallday , called “Promises”, which I have linked at the bottom of this post. Thank you so much for allowing me to recreate your story, I greatly appreciate it.

Also, sorry for any spelling or grammar errors, I kept disassociating when I was reading this back over.

Masterlist ☽☾

                                          ☽ ☾

Please don't let nothing get back to me

I've been trying to detach from you

Deep down though, I wanna know about what the fuck you been up to

Old him could have seen that coming

Fuck you I don't need nothing from ya

I was doing pretty good without you

But something tells me that a relapse coming

It was like high-school all over again. Seeing the school in similar shape as it was when you left brought back nostalgic memories. They had painted the lockers and had given the cafeteria and auditorium, as well as the gym, new looks. Of course, new desks were due, and better spirit and decor were all over the place, but overall? The place was a mirror image of memories. You traced the painted gaps of the brick walls with your finger, getting that same smooth feeling on the tip of your finger. Just as you were rounding the corner to the main hallway, you ran directly into a friend.

“Y/N?” You heard a voice speak, their hands landing on your shoulders to steady you. You looked up at the individual only to see someone you hadn’t seen in a long time.

Well, you’d seen, but not actually seen.

“Urban?” You exclaimed, almost jumping into his arms when he nodded his head.

“Holy shit! It’s so good to see you! You look gorgeous, as always.” He spoke, embracing your body in a tight hug. The black, thin-strapped dress that adorned your body as well as the matching black Louis Vuitton pumps and small diamond necklace. A beautiful tennis bracelet sat on your wrist, your hair styled to perfection, almost looking like you walked fresh off the runway.

You had made a name for yourself in your career field, which had put you in a pretty stable financial bracket.

Besides, it was always best to one-up the hoes of your old high-school at your reunion.

Especially since the Jack Harlow was in attendance.

You reflected back on those days when you both were smitten with each other, two teenagers in love. You, actually, often reflect back on it every time he posts on Instagram.

Not that you follow him on Instagram or anything.

No, you totally only see him through Urban’s account, which tags his account in things.

Right.

You and Jack had broken up shortly before his debut album, That’s What They All Say, Jack allowing the fame to take over his personal life and relationships. At least, that’s how you see things.

“Y/N, I swear it means nothing. You know that you’re everything to me, it’s all a part of the game baby. I’ve gotta remain a heartthrob for all the fans.”

“But you had to say you were single during that interview?! You couldn’t have diverted the question? Gave a different answer?”

“Like what Y/N?!”

“Oh, I don’t know Jack. Maybe ‘That’s for me to know and for you to never find out.’ Or, or! ‘I’ll leave it up to y’all to think and decide the answer.’ Anything that didn’t scream “Hey, I’m totally single and out for grabs.”

“You know that’s not it works baby. I have to follow a script.”

“Yeah, and I have to follow my gut.”

“What are you saying?”

“I want to break up.”

Sure, you had broken it off, but if Jack hadn’t played the part, you’d still be together.

Maybe.

“Yeah, and you still smell like weed Urban.”

“Seriously, it’s that bad? I thought that cologne I bought would hide the smell good enough.” He pulled up the collar of his shirt to smell himself, looking around the hallway you two were standing lone in. You laughed at his jester, slapping his shoulder.

“I swear you don’t change.”

“And neither do you Y/N.” He looked around again. “I swear Jack was just around here, he’ll be happy to see you.”

“Mm, I don’t think so.”

“Come on Y/N, don’t think like that.”

“Urban, how can I not? I broke up with him when he needed me.”

“Y/N, you and I both know that wasn’t the case. You got out before the fame got to him, which I don’t blame you for. It’s a little too much for me sometimes if you really wanna ask.” He put a hand on your shoulder, sliding it down to rest on your bicep.

“Look, 2fo and the rest of the guys are throwing an after-party after the reunion and I want you to come.”

“Urban, I don’t-“

“Don’t worry about Jack, don’t come for him. Come for me.” He looked you in the eyes, firm in his word.

“Fine. Only for you Urby.”

“I love it when you call me that.”

It was a house party. Urban had let you know before he gave you the address, and you thought it was a good idea to make a pit stop home to change the look.

Designer heels at a house party? In the backyard? Not a good idea.

Urban greeted you at the door and handed you a wine cooler, guiding you to the backyard where everyone surrounded the fire pit.

“Are there marshmallows?” You asked Urban, whispering in his ear.

“Yup. Some of the chocolate is infused though.”

“Of course it is.” You and Urban laughed before catching the eyes of a few of some other people.

“Y/N! Whatcha doin here?!” 2fo ran up and gave you a hug, squeezing you in his embrace.

“Urban invited me, figured I’d stop in.”

“Stop in? You’re staying. Come sit with us by the fire.” 2fo practically dragged you towards the pit, plopping you down in one of the free seats.

“Yo Y/N, how’s it going? How’s life?” Copelean spoke, giving you a fist bump as you set next to him. Sunni tipped his hat, proceeding to continue roasting his marshmallows.

“Pretty damn good. I made a name for myself after I graduated uni, I flew in just for the reunion.”

“How long are you here for?” 2fo asked, taking a hit off the blunt Urban passed.

“Another two days. I’m catching up with a couple of my girlfriends before heading back out.”

“And you weren’t gonna stop by?”

“I didn’t think Jack would like that.”

The area got silent, tension slowly filling the area. Before Sunni cut it with a knife.

“Y/N, I don’t think it was your fault at all. Yeah, you broke up with him, but you wanted out before the fame.” He spoke, taking a long sip of his beer.

“Yeah, and I can respect that. You never seemed like the type to be attracted to the spotlight. I remember when you got published for an article and you wanted to be published as “anonymous”. Cope spoke, laughing as he passed the blunt back to Urban.

“Listen, I was embarrassed-“

“It was good work.”

“Never said it wasn’t. I just didn’t want everyone to know it was me who wrote that long-ass paper.”

“Yeah yeah. Whatever. Either way, I don’t blame you. We all don’t. We just wish you would have stayed in touch with us at least.”

You nodded your head at all of them, them smiling in return.

“Well. Enough of that! Pass me a s’more, without the special chocolate.” Everyone laughed, Urban passing you the unopened bar of Hersey chocolate. An hour passed as you caught up with them all, sharing stories.

“Yeah, so then he thinks it’s a great idea to race with no shoes on in the dorm lobby. So then, as he rounds the corner, he slips and slides smack into the pole. That’s when I learned he was a lightweight.” Everyone laughed at your story, Urban turning his head as a figure appeared.

“Hey, every- Y/N? What are you doing here?” Jack spoke, his voice changing from happy to annoyed. You stood up, turning to face your ex.

“Nice to see you too Jack.” You folded your arms over your chest, Urban placing an arm over your shoulder as he stood.

“I invited her. It’s been a while since we’ve all seen her, I thought it would be good to catch up.”

“Yeah, without telling me. I greatly appreciate it.”

“Not everything is about you Jack.”

“No, it’s not. But I would have appreciated it if someone had told me my ex was coming.” Once again, it was silent.

“I texted you.” Urban spoke, eyeing Jack with narrow eyes.

“Yeah well, I obviously didn’t see it.”

“Yeah, and I obviously shouldn’t be here. If you’re gonna act like that.” You spoke, grabbing a napkin to wipe your hands of the remaining s’more.

“Y/N, don’t go.” Sunni spoke, now sitting up in his lawn chair.

“Actually, I think it’s a good idea.” Jack spoke, making your eyes widen.

“Okay, I get it, you’re hurt by me breaking up with you, but I’d expect you to be more mature than to hold grudges Jack.”

“Yeah, well, you thought wrong. How did you think I would react after you left me?”

“And how did you think I felt when you went on that interview?”

“You’re still on that?” Jack sighed.

“Yes, Jack! I am because that’s the main reason we broke up! I couldn’t live like that knowing I was your dirty little secret.”

“Yeah, well maybe I should have stayed single. Wouldn’t have to deal with you bitchin'.”

You stared at Jack in silence, tension higher than before. You clenched your fist, close to slapping him across the face.

“Say that one more time, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

“I said, maybe I should have stay-“

“That’s enough Jack.” Urban spoke sternly, dropping his arm from your shoulders to look at him.

“What? Y’all act like she didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Because she didn’t. We all saw how you acted during that interview, and we all can see how your fans are with you now. Y/N’s not cut out for that, and you know it.” Copelean stood up, moving to stand next to you.

“Damn, so y’all really gonna do me like that?” Jack spoke, glaring at his friends.

“Don’t worry about it guys. I’ll take my leave.” You spoke firmly, spinning around and heading for the patio doors.

“Y/N, wait!” You threw your hand up in response, grabbing the keys to your car off the counter, all the while Urban took to Jack.

“Are you fucking serious dude? You couldn’t have been more of an ass?”

“What? Y’all seriously thought I’d be okay with my ex at my party? Especially that ex.”

“Look, we get it, she broke your heart, but think about it Jack. How would you feel if she went on an interview claiming she was single for the world to see?” Sunni questioned, now folding his arms now his chest.

“I would say it’s for the business.”

“Bullshit. You were furious when Jason Rudolph asked her to prom. And she rejected him right in front of you.” 2fo spoke, raising an eyebrow.

“Face it Jack, you’re upset because you let a good one get away.” Urban spoke, angrily.

“You don’t get.”

“Oh no, I think I do get it. But what you don’t see is the other side. Y/N is my friend too. I was there when she cried after she broke it off. I was there when she felt guilty about it. I was there those nights she texted you and you never responded. And I was there when she decided to move so she wouldn’t have the reminder of you constantly there. You don’t know how bad she felt. She did it to protect herself. You can’t blame her for that.”

Jack was silent. He was taking in all of the opinions of his friends. And truthfully, he believed it. He knew he was in the wrong. He truly hadn’t looked at the other side. And truthfully, he would have done the same.

You had began to start your driving playlist before Jack appeared at your window, scaring you before you chose to roll it down.

“Yes Jack?”

“Look, I’m sorry for what I said out there. I was out of line.” He moved as you stepped out of your car, looking him dead in his face as he spoke.

“I get what you did, why you did it. I understand why you broke up with me. You were only protecting yourself, putting yourself first, and I honestly don’t blame you for it. Now that I see it, I would have done the same.”

You looked at your ex, his curls shining in the, now, moonlight of the night. His crystal blue eyes stared into yours, sending shivers down your spine. Yet you stood firm in your word.

“I’m not stupid Jack. I know you probably listened to what the guys said and brought yourself out here to apologize.” You making air quotes around the apologize.

“Y/N..”

“I get it. I get it why you’re upset. I broke your heart. Trust me, I understand. But what you don’t understand is that I broke my own as well. I wanted to be with you, I wanted to see you succeed. I wanted to be there when you made it big, don’t you get that? But that interview was just a preview of what our lives could look like if we stayed together. And I wasn’t ready for that. I didn’t want to put myself in that position. Can you seriously hate me that much because I needed to put myself first?” You paused as you looked at him, waiting for him to say anything, anything at all.

But it was silent.

“Exactly what I thought.” You opened your car door, lowering yourself into the vehicle.

“I hope everything goes well for you Jack. And good luck with your new album.” And with that, you sped off into the night, tears in your eyes.

Please don't let nothing get back to me

I've been trying to detach from you

Deep down though, I wanna know about what the fuck you been up to

Old him could have seen that coming

Fuck you I don't need nothing from ya

I was doing pretty good without you

But something tells me that a relapse coming

-

#jack harlow x reader #jack harlow #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow imagines #jack harlow scenario #jack harlow fanfiction #jack harlow au #jack harlow fic #jack harlow fanfic

[enneamage]

tell me more about how mcyt fans have mutated in the Twitter space

I'll reveal my outpost because I don't have an actual account anywhere to give away: I've been watching the Good Omens to Dr Who pipeline slowly flood with former MCYT/streamer fans. Something profoundly full-circle watching people become whovians on social media after ten years of stigma. There's gotta be more places like this, but this happens to be the one I have eyes on.

MCYT doesn't exclusively own 'callout culture' and it definitely isn't where it started, it's at least a decade old by now that I can confirm and probably way older, but it's always new to somebody and it looks like that's what's happening here. I'm seeing a lot of people forged in the fire of MCYT discourse bring some of that flavor into new spaces (sparing you a discourse recap) and the subtle shifts of values and priorities making a big difference.

This is making me think about what MCYT fan defector take-aways would even be, what lessons do people make choices based on when they decide to move on? I think a big one is showing up a lot right now: For better of for worse, never assume the best in people, because that will be exploited by those who can benifit from your passivity. I really don't think some people are ready for how 'never assume the best in people if they haven't proven anything' is a genuine, hard-learned moral stance that was installed in people for three solid years as the MCYT circle crumpled in on itself. Especially for the people on the other end of the spectrum who are more idealising, sentimental, forgiving, whatever.

There's also the passive creeping guilt by association, where if someone is off and you say nothing, you're assumed to be off too. This feels like a big one that was learned in the streamer-pits, never assume that someone is 'secretly' good when they keep company with people who are off. Also, don't try to cope by thinking that you've moved on to stanning someone better if the above situation applies to who you disowned / who you moved on to, that's just coping.

I'm watching the former MCYTs dig into a really strong harshness against the people who do have a more 'assume the best' mentality. They really give people the business for being too naive or having their priorities out of order (Parasocial and all it's heavyness still hangs over these people, you are lesser/maybe even a bit crazed to have faith in a celeb over your principles. Your attention is money and you are complicit.)

This is hitting a certain kind of fan sideways right now. The ones who are more 'faithful' (sentimental and idealising) approach and get defensive on the behalf of celebs are digging their heels in and responding in their own... special way. When you mix that with a certain kind of gen X sentimental streak and a self-pity reflex, it gets real cringe real fast.

It's discourse addiction versus the copium epidemic, it's nasty out there, I'm keeping in my hole.

#if you hang out in the gaming space 'never assume the best in people' is hard learned and hard to forget #since the fallouts are massive and frequent #mageessay

[sinningtamer]

Not sure if you’ve answered this before but what are your favourite fics and ships?

Love all your art btw! <3 Thx for all the food!

i might've years ago, so let's go again! i'm gonna answer this question as only NSFW/kink related, otherwise the list would be way too long haha

alright let's start with the obvious: ParviII is and always will be my #1 one ship, even when I dip in and out of the fandom a lot (i feel the term OTP is super outdated these days? but if there was one ship i could use it with it's them...)

so obviously i'm gonna say Talking Body and Payment and Payback by @sparxwrites. because. you know. how can i not. oh yeah, Good Vibrations is also a classic. hiii sparx, i'm sorry for picking your older fics, i just have such a bias. they've written a ton of great stuff over the years though, so go give the account a peak! there's something for everyone, especially if you like darker stuff.

...speaking of accounts with a lot of content who lurk around here, shoutout to @pawpunkao3. lmpᴇarI is one of my favorite ships, and they're still such a rarepair somehow?? anyways I think about Between Bedrock and a Hard Place at least once a week tbh. A New Religion That'll Bring You To Your Knees is fantastic, and i have a soft spot for I Spy (even tho i didn't watch too much empires). again, another author with a whole arsenal under their belt, so don't just take my word for it and check the rest of his fics!

back to lmpᴇarI being a rarepair... @thatstoomuchsoup has Chicken Soup for the Soulbounds (okay it's more pearI-centric but they're both there) and is another blog that specializes in some of my kinks and these fandoms. same with @anon-teddy's content, gotta give a shoutout to full. this is also making me realize i haven't sought out enough poly S0up Group or GᴇmpuIse/PᴇarIgem fics...maybe i'll get back to you on that...

there's a bunch of good explicit trᴇᴇbark fics, but i said i was gonna keep this list concise, so the only one i'll specifically point to is how to deal with your supernatural lust for blood (and other things) in a completely normal and god-honoring fashion. for...reasons. also because it's good!

edit: oh my GOD i realized two seconds after posting this i completely forget to mention @also-an-art. go read (this is) hungry work and honey don't feed it right fucking now. i've read both of these in full (pun intended) multiple times they're that amazing. it's rare that the plot is just as good as the horniness, when i tell you i lost my mind at some of the development in these. also hot and dirty (like the la air) is a guilty pleasure. AND it introduced me to a song that ended up being #20 on my spotify wrapped LOL (RPF warning on that one! trust me tho)

let's get to my other bias, shall we? RᴛSpiff and RᴛS00t don't....have any explicit fics. nor does poly lᴀds. CMRᴛ does, though! I'm kinda picky about how people characterize them, but play it cool and Every Stumble and Each Misfire are lovely (note that the second one is also blatant RPF! don't say i didn't warn you o7)

speaking of lᴀds, if you follow me on main, you know i got into Bᴀnᴀna Bᴜs Sqᴜᴀd just last year (I'M SORRY, OKAY, DON'T @ ME-) you'd think getting into an old fandom late would mean a ton of great smut fics, right? to be honest, i haven't found many that i care for, but maybe i'm just picky... however, i remember your lips, they're the ones i miss, and smoke in your lungs, your lips on mine are SO GODDAMN GOOD i'm not even mad it's only those two i like because i could reread them 20 times. god. such fun characterization. shame the author orphaned them because i badly wanna read more of their stuff.

this is the part where you go, spirit, do you read anything besides (mᴄ)yt fandoms??? and i go, not really.............well, sort of. i like 0verwatch! and M0icy!! Reciprocity is a delightful PWP long fic. i'm also not really an omegaverse guy, but Water Me has such a good take on it i fell in looove.

okay, i'm gonna cut myself off here, enough though i could probably name dozens of more fics if i sat and thought about it. if anyone i tagged wants to be untagged, feel free to reply here or shoot me an ask/dm!!

#i like how i said i was gonna keep this short and still went insane lmao #also dont forget to read the notes/cws of any fics i linked! it's up to you to decide if you're comfortable reading them

[blazehedgehog]

Interested in that new Suicide Squad game?

Not even a little, no. It's got the stink of a live service game all over it, it's been delayed to hell and back, none of the previews I saw sounded even a little bit positive...

It's as bad or possibly even worse than that Marvel's Avengers game, where it's the world's most bland game jam packed full of free-to-play mobile game junk. Except now they're asking $70 for it.

I'm getting really tired of every game having a loot system, or RPG mechanics where they don't belong, or whatever. All these little things to puff up play time, to fake the appearance of depth, and make it easier for them to sell you gacha packs.

It's like every game is Pokemon now: gotta collect everything, gotta raise everything up to max level, gotta grind against a million different numbers, because oh man, you think Harley Quinn's Mythic Clown Warhammer is good now? Wait until it's level 99.

And then next year, when they raise the level cap? Holy crap, dude.

Think of all the time you spent doing that stuff. Chasing stats. Pretending that grinding is automatically a substitute for depth. People love number go up. And I'm not even immune to that! In a good game I like to play, having an excuse to keep playing it is nice!

But more and more and more games are putting the cart before the horse. It's like they build a shopping mall and then fill it full of vendors that only sell old onions and manure. "It'll pay for itself," they say. "A lot of people need onions and manure." Not taking into account they're right next door to more useful stores people already go to.

And every game is a job now. I play Fortnite for about 90 minutes every night, something I've been doing for the last four or five years. The thought of playing any other live service game on top of Fortnite makes my bones creak like an old man.

Like, a specific friend is the one who enabled me to play Fortnite. He bought me a Founder's Pass for Save the World back in 2019, which means I get free v-bucks currency as long as I complete at least one mission per day. Depending on how luck falls, there have been days where I get upwards of 200vb per day, for free. Over the course of a month, that adds up pretty significantly.

We've both joked that the only reason we're still playing Fortnite after all this time is we always have currency for the shop because we get it for free. A Fortnite estimator website once said my account is worth multiple thousands of dollars, but I've actually spent maybe $100 total in real money over the last five years on it (about $20 per year).

Anyway, that same friend recently tried to drag me into playing Disney Speedstorm, because he loves that game. In the three or four months since he's been trying to lure me over, I have booted the game up maybe five times total. It is fun, but it's also a "this game is your job now" live service product. And my bones creak.

The stench of that coming off of Suicide Squad is too pungent to ignore.

#questions #Anonymous #suicide squad #warner bros. #rocksteady games #live service #fortnite #disney #speedstorm

[jyndor]

gotta say that midnights seemed slightly off to me from the get go. like I remember thinking the themes felt like a step backwards in terms of emotional growth after folklore and evermore, and bejeweled immediately had my mind going ???? because it was giving me sorry off of lemonade vibes, like not necessarily the same context or sound but something about it kept reminding me of sorry. that like, fuck being taken for granted, I'm gonna go be cute in the club like of thing.

and midnights does have this melancholy thing throughout which resonated with me deeply but it was also hard to swallow question and bejeweled and even tbh maroon and lavender haze (specifically the 1950s shit line from a woman who has never been shy in her music about wanting that traditional fairytale ending, but i just assumed she had grown into understanding that love doesn't have a fairytale ending, its ever evolving and takes on different forms over time).

but knowing what we likely know now, midnights can reflect the deeply complicated and often contradictory way that relationships work and don't work. you don't just go from love to resentment overnight, and sometimes it's both.

and I'm definitely not speculating, have no interest in learning what happened (it's not our business) but I wanted to share my moment of clarity on the album because I finally had it last night. I always liked it, but I couldn't get over how disjointed it felt. now it makes more sense to me.

maybe I have some young followers and I just want to say I've seen some really heartbreaking and concerning behavior from swifties since the news. I'm not gonna shame someone for getting too caught up in a parasocial relationship with a songwriter who has always put a lot of her personal life and emotions into her works, even if they are fictionalized and reworked into something she can sell. it's understandable that people would feel so connected to her, that's her business model. it isn't healthy which is why she's pulled back so much, but its still part of how her brand works. that carefully curated authenticity.

many of her fans are young, literal children. I don't want them to think that this idealized kind of golden love is possible to begin with - it is IDEALIZED. even with how realistic she has made their relationship sound in contrast to the fairytale loves she wrote about when she was younger, we don't know what they were actually like. you don't know. it's like thinking of their relationship as something from fiction, because in many ways what she wrote IS fiction - it's inspired by reality but fictionalized all the same.

there's a study that looked into when relationships tend to end on average. it's five years. it makes sense, after five years people really do know each other for the most part and likely have grown into more mature people. five years is a long time. five years ago I was just getting my esthetics license and now I'm a business owner. I know more about who I am and what my goals are. my goals have changed. sometimes people's goals become incompatible. it's normal and it doesn't make the love any less real.

this was probably her first serious and mature relationship. by all accounts she was at her lowest point when they met, and she's clearly grown a lot in the time since. that is not even taking into account his own journey and growth. again, this is normal and sometimes people can work through those changes, and sometimes people can't. it's not black and white though, it doesn't have to mean that what they had wasn't real love.

we weren't there, we don't know her or him and we shouldn't. taylor lets us see what she wants us to see. she's a mastermind, right? you don't know her and this is a great example of that. so hopefully younger fans especially can take some time to reflect on how to set better boundaries in the future to avoid feeling so hopeless and full of grief over someone else's relationship.

#taylor swift #swifties #im worried about the kids tbh #taylurking

[prancingintheshadows]

I've just finished FFVII Rebirth and RWBY's back with new content, so obviously those two things are the only thing on my mind right now. So of course with my brainrot I have to imagine and conceptualize what the RWBY characters would play like in FF7 rebirth. Especially since Monty was a fan of Final Fantasy.

For people playing Rebirth, there's not going to be any story spoilers, but this will go into gameplay and talk about certain abilities in the game as comparison.

This is mostly just 'how would these characters be designed in this gameplay?', so I'm not really making any big changes to Rebirth's systems to account for RWBY's in-universe mechanics. While Dust is similar to materia, there's some notable differences but I'm ignoring those differences for the sake of this. So these characters will all use Dust/Materia the way the game does, using mp or something rather than having dust be like ammo. And speaking of MP, same case. Aura is both HP and MP in RWBY, but for the sake of this, everyone's having separate bars for those.

My plan is to generally talk about the overall gameplay identity of each character, along with specific details like if they have attacks after dodging worth mentioning or holding square produces a unique attack or such. I will not be talking about synergy, at least, not in this post. Maybe in a future one if I have the attention span.

For the first of these posts I'm tackling everyone's favorite blonde brawler

Yang

Basic Idea

I'm starting with Yang because... she was the easiest. But not too easy. It's not like we can slap on Tifa's moveset and stats and call it a day. Tifa's combo focused gameplan is fun and fitting for a martial artist, but it lacks the defining features of Yang's semblance. Yang's the toughest member of her team by a long shot and her semblance builds up as she takes damage, so it's instead easier to take inspiration from Red XIII's Vengeance Mode. However, not everything of Red's is usable. Red features a lot of supportive moves that apply buffs or healing and that's not really in line with Yang's straightforward, frontline fighting style, so I'd ideally take a mix of Red's ability to turn defense into resources as well as Tifa's explosive damage potential.

In keeping in line with this mix of tank and damage dealer, ideally Yang would have comparatively high health and defenses, though I can see magic defense being noticeably lower, along with good attack and low 'magic' or whatever the dust equivalent would be. Controversially though, I'd put her speed rather low. Yang's not slow, but everything's relative, especially in video games and video game balance. Comparing to everyone else on Team RWBY, Yang's slow. I'm not too sure on luck, but I'm leaning more towards low. Yang strikes me as doing a lot of damage raw rather than relying on situational damage like crits.

Yang, like Tifa, uses martial arts, so she has a short attack range that doesn't have much spread. As such, when coming out of a dodge, Yang will do a spinning kick. I get she's a punch girl, but she's not exclusively using punches. Holding square has her do a close range shot gun blast that can push enemies back. I'd also say Yang's dodge is only average. Again, relative speeds. She's got Ruby and Blake on her team, Yang has to be average at dodging at best by comparison.

Burn Mode

We gotta talk about Yang's unique mechanic. As stated earlier, I think elements from both Red XIII and Tifa work, so I'm trying to mesh them together. At the fundamental level, it works like Vengeance where blocking builds up a meter. However, this meter has several levels, much like Tifa's Chi or Cait Sith's moogle stuff. Obviously, building more levels increases the potency of the Burn Mode, which is functionally a super mode. I'm thinking maybe 3 levels? Like Red, Yang's attacks get a massive boost and increased range and the button used to transform is replaced with a new attack.

Unlike Red, this attack will drain the form's meter, similar to Tifa using up levels of Chi and falling to the lower level. Also, these levels drop quicker than Tifa's Chi or Red's Vengeance. This is just a byproduct of what I'm trying to achieve with Yang. While being a tank/dps hybrid can be a rather simple character, I want to give Yang's fighting game plan depth and complexity. Have her be able to fight smarter like in the show. It's why I want a healthy mix from both characters. Tifa's chi is cool, but you ultimately just spend all of it on a staggered enemy and there's no other uses for it as the buffs it gives you passively aren't enough to be worth considering, so Yang's Burn Mode needs to have passive benefits closer to Red's Vengeance than Tifa's Unbridled Strength. But it also needs to run out in a decent time frame to make spending Burn levels acceptable. I want that conflict of deciding whether or not using a level of burn for a potent attack is worth it. And similarly to Red, I want a lot of interplay between Yang's super mode and her abilities.

Abilities

I'm not going to make enough abilities to match the Rebirth characters. They have 10 abilities, which is an insane amount to be doing for 4 characters for a 'for fun' theory craft. There are certain requisite things Yang needs for abilities. For one, a rather standard damaging ability. You know, your Bravers, Divekicks, and Sidewinders. Likely some sort of punch. Easy enough.

Second thing, Yang's very block heavy, so like Cloud and Red, she gets an ability that puts her in a guard stance that builds up meter faster and is functionally a better guard. I call it Block Party, and no, I will not be using puns this entire section.

Most of Yang's abilities I want to play with Burn in some way to create that possibility for smart play while staying true to her fighting abilities. Dragon Throw is probably the ability that I've best made to fit this mold. In base, Yang grabs an enemy and chucks them at another enemy. In Burn, Yang instead grabs the enemy, and in true FF fashion, leaps into the air and comes crashing down on a different enemy. This gives Yang a repositioning tool without detracting from the brawler fantasy. I think this is also not out of the question as there's a few abilities in Rebirth that bring enemies closer, so I don't see any problem with just straight up manhandling them like this.

Meteor Impact is Yang's basic AoE attack where she slams the ground. It interacts with Burn the same way Dragon Throw does. While out of Burn, it's decent, but in Burn, it's range and power increases. It would be a simple and effective tool for people who like using Burn in a straightforward manner.

Bombshell is an ability that uses Burn meter the other way. You don't have to be in Burn mode to improve the move, the move will simply eat meter from Burn by default. Yang attaches sticky bombs to the enemy that go off the next time they're hit with an ability. The amount of stickies attached can be increased by holding down the command and spending meter. It's a move that has some thought that can be put in it. It doesn't deal immediate damage, so you have to either be willing to wait or have resources left over to set them off. You could attach bombs to an enemy and then Dragon Throw them to make them a living bomb. You can set them up when the enemies stagger is nearly complete so you can rebuild your ATB and resources and go for a truly devastating combo. You can go full throttle on the bombs or hold back so you can still enter Burn.

The next ability is one I really wanted to make once I had the concept of Yang down as a fighter with a lot of variability. Golden Glow takes inspiration from Unfettered Fury being a side grade to Unbridled Strength. It's an alterative to Burn. While Burn quickly burns out and has potent offenses, Golden Glow is a mode that lasts longer but instead focuses on Yang's defenses. While Yang mostly uses her semblance to attack, she's also used it a few times to take hits. An ability like this has lots of synergy with Yang's abilities that want her to be in her super form, but doesn't play as well with moves like Bombshell that prefer having meter being quick to build and spend rather than something long lasting.

Limits

Limits aren't hard to do, but I should still talk about them anyways. A solid chunk of Rebirth's cast has a basic Level 1 Limit, a Level 2 that increases stagger a lot, and a Level 3 which just does tons more damage. That's not to say all of them are like that. Red notably gets healing from his LB1 and a longer lasting mode from his LB2.

LB1 I'd make a basic damaging limit. It'd be just one big strong punch, like the one used against Junior in the Yellow Trailer, to mirror how quick a lot of the other LB1s are.

LB2 would put Yang in Burn with 1 extra level. If used while you have level 3, this would put you in the otherwise unreachable level 4. Because of course there's 4, this a RWBY character, I can't not slap the number 4 on things. I'd probably use a scene from the JL movie part 2 actually. The one where Yang activates her semblance, jumps up, and starts peppering the battlefield with gunfire. I just think it's good to have a little bit of variety between all the melee combat.

LB3, due to being a whole process to get up to, would be huge stagger increase and huge damage. It's meant to help end the fight, regardless of how the enemy is currently looking. I actually think I'd like her to do something new for this attack honestly. LB1 already uses something from the early RWBY days and LB2 uses more recent stuff, so there's a good spread of representation.

#rwby #ffvii rebirth #yang xiao long #This has been living in my brain for like 3 weeks #I definitely put too much thought into this

[gullinbusti]

I hope one day you learn kindness and a sense of empathy. You're a kid, but it's evident you refuse to learn from your mistakes - instead just flipping them around to seem like the other person's problem.

I don't think you can even pull the young card, because while everyone matures at a different pace you've been cut slack for that exact reason countless times.

This behavior will not get you far in life, but giving thought into how you make other people feel /will/.

The people who dislike you aren't trolls out on a witchhunt for you, they're people you've upset in someway. Instead of taking that information and seeing what you can do to improve yourself, you run away to a new account where you do not leave these people alone. You're doing the thing they do not want you to do, of course they will dislike you. Hell I'd say you're doing what you don't want /them/ to do to you, and doesn't that give some perspective?

Yeah I've made mistakes, I can be very rude and mean at times with or without knowing it. All honesty mate yeah I hurt those artists in some way, but just to be clear I move accounts to accounts cause of this shat and the fact people won't leave me alone about this when ik what I did, most people still rub this in my face like Doo Doo crap both from the past and now when I know what I did was wrong and in all honesty whenever people do that ik what their saying is true, but sometimes I feel like your just trying to make me feel bad then I already am. (like c'mon ik what I'm doing ik what I'm saying don't repeat me) and we still going on with this. If you don't want me to follow you again do or say the magic word and I won't? And right now on this account, I don't think I've bothered anyone right now, but if I am cause I dead ass literally just liked their post and gave them a compliment and that annoys them cause I said it all they need to do is just simply press the block/mute part. And who knows maybe your right maybe I am running away from my mistakes but I do see them and how they felt towards people, and I fuc- fricken am working on that, people will remember the things I've done but you've also gotta remember that was a long time ago both in my younger years and probably months/weeks ago or last year, idc if you get mad at this part it's just facts and that deed is over so stop bringing it up when that happened centuries ago.

Yeah I do see my mistakes and how they effect people, I see how people still react when I comment on their art posts even if it's a nice comment, even if it's a question I politely ask only for it to not be answered cause the question came from me because of what I've done to them/others, but honestly it's ridiculous, yeah I've been rude to you once or twice with or without knowing it, I have been brutally honest to you about your art cause I'm not the type to lie, and yeah Ik how rude I can get when I'm angry with people. (If your an og follower of mine you would know how I react when people think I'm being rude even though most times I'm just being very honest or I said something they didn't get) and what still gets me is the fact most of those artists (I've said this so many times) have came up with assumptions and think I'm weirdo and not talk to me because of that when they never knew the full picture (don't you dare do that when you know nothing of the sort. Ever, to anyone of the sort. Especially me, cause I won't take to kindly about it. Your an adult, a legit young adult, you can be mature enough to hear people out before making the story in your own head. Doogie (translate to idiot)

Now listen. I can promise I can control the things I say on here and do, I can promise I won't use it in the dumbest slightest reasons, but I will also promise that I will use it if necessary or if you need to just hear the damn truth. And I'm dead set.

Sorry if you get upset at that part, but sometimes you just gotta hear what I have to say about you and your actions towards me (did). idc if you cry or get angry at me because of this **boohoo**. I will use this attitude towards you if I have a reason or cause you need to hear it. And i have a lot of reasons right now to use it on those types of artists.

But again. That happened a long time ago, and like I said many times. It is now in the past, yeah ik what I did, They were Rude, Offensive, Disrespectful, and Disappointing things to hear from me. (And in most cases I'm not even being rude to you, I'm just being the most brutal honest person you can meet, I will not lie to you I will tell you the truth that will get you effed off and I'm sorry if you can't handle my honest reactions or opinions) I am improving myself, and I'm not saying I'm going too far with my jokes because literally other people do the same and you don't tell them off but me😬 ik the jokes are offensive, but I obviously don't mean them, no one here gets them and that's fine, so I am trying and doing the best not to go overboard cause ik you guys won't take it as that like me or others like me.

I also like to mention like I said about the "run away to a new accounts" thing, I'm not pointing you out I'm saying this to others, but it's honestly a dog move of you to tell my guests (new followers) the past things I've done and said, I will tell them myself that when I get the chance when when they need to know, I don't remember giving anyone the right to tell my new followers/fans about this to tell them/show them that because that's my business to tell, not yours.

If you want to still talk to me about this stuff still. Don't send a ask, say it to me in DMS personally. If you wanna go on that path still. My guests will obviously have the right to know about this, but no one has my right to say it out loud for them only me cause it's my business to tell. (My guests if your still curious go look at my @8orisporkfolio and @bearlypigest to see what has been happening lately and if not I will explain soon eventually just don't come up with assumptions without hearing the full story just yet)

Look man. The things I've done and said are very not "out there" or "welcoming" things I've done, but it's honestly just something you need to just let go of now (i'm not using the excuse of me going "cause I'm still young" anymore cause I'm sorta mature enough to understand this now) you don't have to forget it, but it's better to maybe forgive me for it cause I've already apologized about it and I'm already working on not doing that stuff to you or others anymore, that's not a good excuse but that's that. I've already forgiven those that STILL Know nothing about the things they had assumptions about. They didn't ask for my forgiveness but forgiving people is more better then hating them for your whole life because they made one or a lot of mistakes. Like this one,at this point. I do want you to forgive me not because I want want you to but because it's better then just hating me for that long without knowing anything or even getting to know the real me first yk? I really am a kind person once you earn my trust or just spend more time with me and get to know me better I'm not originally a rude or mean person

Again. this is your choice, I think this is better, you do not have to talk to me but forgiving me is better then just hating for this when you don't fully know everything, but again. If you want to be this way that is fine with me I'm not angry or disappointed because of that cause that's your personality or whatever, I'm just saying this is a better way to deal with the situation rather then just reminding me of my mistakes over and over when I already know what I did was wrong and you just build up more guilt inside of me, this is your choice I'm not forcing anyone I just think this is better.

But again. Just stop with this. Ik what I'm doing, what I'm saying, and how it effects people. Do not keep bringing this up at random occasions those artists don't really know much about the full picture to they can't say much without knowing.

Hell if your ass keeps doing this just ask me and I'll tell you the full picture (bloody dm me next time to) is it that hard to FRICKEN ASK ME THE FULL STORY IM NOT GONNA FRICKEN BIT YOU THE FRICK BRO

But yeah this is the last time I'm apologizing, I'm sorry for what I did, I think forgiving me and just leaving this behind is better, but that's your choice if you want to have an excuse to hate me without knowing me or the story for your whole life, I'm not mad or forcing you to, I'm just saying it's a good idea rather then this, your choice. It's not worth if you think deep about it, and if you don't think of it and have this as an excuse to hate me still and not get to know me personally or the full story for the rest of your life as I'm still walking on this earth.

Your not cool buddy just drop it💘

#ponchos.txt #hope this knocks something in you and if not then why are you still talking about this #man that was the most realest one ive said yet

[vvatchword]

I'm now over 33,333 words and on the way to hitting the proper daily wordcount of 1,667. Added something like... four new chapters. This is not bad at all. I got angry last night about Dr. Lamb characterization and then went to sleep. Turns out that's probably what I should have done all along. I saw a great take about how Dr. Sofia Lamb truly loves everyone equally, and had the realization then of what to do. So hopefully that all works. We're in the early stage here.

I suppose it's fairer for her to have developed this viewpoint earlier, but... ehhhhh FICCCTIOOOONNNNN we gotta put the drama somewhere

Grace Holloway section here. She's talking to James, her live-in boyfriend, who we only vaguely hear about in-game. He's mentioned maybe twice if you count the "Jimbo!" audio diary in the theme park. It MAY be him. It's the third and final black character in BioShock 2 talking about romancing a lady by scaring her. That could refer to Grace. I don't know. It also may not be. I may have just connected two disparate dots. It's a super common name.

Originally, Grace was meant to be married to Stanley Poole. This was intended for creepy-ass gnostic purposes. Christian gnosticism was a mistake and when I tell you exactly why you will cringe so hard your body will look like a Slinky at rest. But I won't tell you why because I'm still technically writing something up about that. I have to do so much fucking reading. I still don't feel like I understand it and that's usually a bad sign. I also want to play BioShock 2 again with what I know now.

There is something so deliciously fun about just stretching the fuck out in this universe. Just letting the Rapture fuckery unwrap itself. Just doing some worldbuilding, asking some hard questions, and seeing how it works in action.

In other news, I have been trying to stretch out my medication and this is a bad idea. When I'm off of it, I turn into a fucking missile launcher and go to war with everybody. It's actually wild how great anti-depressants are. Just gonna say that for posterity

I've actually been thinking about setting up a proper Ko-Fi account, maybe even a Patreon, although nobody who joined it would be able to expect shit from me. I'm too slow a worker and nothing I do is exactly breathtaking. Also it's all fanfiction. Is that even legal?

I hate asking for money for anything. I hate it so fucking much. All I want to do is share fanwork. Fuck money! Free art! But if I don't have money, I can't afford antidepressants and I will literally kill myself so there's that

#vvatchword #nanowrimo #fanfiction #writing #uprising #only man #bioshock #bioshock 2 #sofia lamb #eleanor lamb #grace holloway #james (bioshock)

[thestoriesyetuntold]

Purr for your thoughts?

A/N: This is a repost from one of my Wattpad accounts, I wrote it forever ago; there’s a bunch of grammar mistakes and it’s generally not very good

(Requests are open)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fandom: Last Legacy (Fictif)

Format: oneshot

Characters: Stella, briefly Felix (relationship not specified but it's friendly)

Type: crack, slight comfort, I’m not sure tbh

Reader info: 1st person, no 3rd person pronouns

Warnings: some swear words, d/ath related mentions

Word count: 1628

Proofread: no

Summary: after a long day you hang out with Stella

The door clicks as I turn the key Felix gave me. As I open it I am met with utter chaos and while it isn't a surprise to find his study in such a state it still earns a loud groan from me. That is really not something I wanted to deal with today. I flop down on the small sofa and sigh. When Felix asked me to get one of his books he didn't mention I'd have to fight myself through such a mess to find it. The day was already stressful as it was: Sage needed to get bailed out of some trouble, I was assigned the reappearing Saaros-lotion-situation (we stocked up on lotion and thought it as solved but apparently you 'can't use that lotion with these weather conditions'), I unfortunately ran into Felix right as he was searching for someone to test a new spell on and Anisa somehow talked me into taking some of her chores today while she's on some mysterious mission.

I should've just told Felix to get his stuff himself, but no, I thought "how bad can that one little task be compared to all the shit I already did today". Honestly I should've expected something like this from him. Not that I'm mad, it's just frustrating to think I spent all day doing stuff for people that they just see as a small favour while I am completely exhausted with all the crap I did for them.

Little no-big-deal snowballs add up to an avalanche burying me in stress and tiredness.

I'm happy to help out best I can but heck, some appreciation would be nice. But today no one seems to pay attention to me at-

"Meow?"

I turn my head to see two big green eyes staring right at me. Well, maybe someone does after all.

"Let me guess.... You want food?"

Stella jumps on the sofa and stretches.

"Hard day, huh? Yeah, me too. Everyone seemed to need help with stuff! You know how annoying it can be to do things for others and not get the recognition you think you deserve. I mean, you've been protecting this place for, actually how long is it? Years I'm sure. I've only once seen Felix even touch you and..... actually, I don't think I've ever seen anyone feed you? Do you even eat?" I laughed lightly "Well, at least that's not what you want from me then. Don'T get me wrong, I would've fed you! I just did so much today already and now I also gotta find that book somewhere in here, gosh I just wanna have dinner and go to bed. It's exhausting to be busy all day with none of it even being for yourself, and then not even being sure if you'll ever get anything back..... do you think I'm being selfish?"

I once again turn my head in her direction and am met with her very confused expression (though... maybe that's just how her face looks?)

I groan at the realisation I'm talking to an undead ball of fluff right now.

"Alright, c'mere zombie kitty", I say as I pat my lap.

Felix has warned me often not to cuddle with or even touch her but hey! She's a little cat. Yeah, she's undead. Yes, she's got some weird super dangerous demon-thingy in her. Yup, she has eaten spirits in my presence multiple times already (wherever these came from). But hey. She's small and fluffy.

After a moment she obeys, making her way on my lap. She curls up there, her stub moving slightly. I rest my hand on her, almost gasping.

"You're so soft!"

She looks up, as if questioning what I said.

"Yes! You're so soft!", I started, switching to baby-voice. "Especially considering that, you know, you're a corpse and all. Such a fluffy little princess! So sooooft. And adorable of course! You're very- geez do you ever blink?"

She kept staring at me a bit longer before I carefully guided her head to lay back on my leg.

"Aaaalright. Yknow little one, you're really awesome. You're doing a great job. You're an amazing little demon cat."

I start stroking her back with my fingertips, afraid to scare her away. When she moves I'm already worried she'll leave, but instead she stretches across my legs to reveal her belly to me. Her cuteness almost makes me squeak, but what actually makes me is how soft her belly fur is.

"So sooooft", I whisper yet again as I pet her, mesmerised by her fluffiness. As I give her little head scratches for a change she slowly reaches out for my sleeve with her little paws. I quickly move my hand a bit in amusement, making her move quickly in an attempt to catch it.

Thinking a moment I remember the ribbon that still lingers in my pocket (for whatever reason), pulling it out with a quick movement that makes Stella basically jump up.

"Heeere kitty kitty kitty", I say smiling as I move it around, leading to Stella sitting in my lap while her front paws are stretched towards the ribbon above her.

It's like she's possessed.

Haha.

Comedy was always my strength.

Half lost in thoughts I don't even notice when I pull the now-cat-toy a bit too far, only realising my mistake when I hear Stella land on the floor with a thud.

"Stella?" I look over the sofas edge, seeing her lay still with her face turned away from me. "Uhm.... Stella?" I gently tap her back but don't get any response.

Shit, did I break her?

I panic as I realise she isn't breathing for a moment before remembering that of course she doesn't, she didn't before either.... I think.

Just as I'm considering getting Felix she quickly turns her head and grabs the ribbon I no longer paid attention to from my hand and scurries away with it.

I just stare for a moment before chuckling in disbelief. "Clever puss. Is that what Felix meant? You're really evil, huh?" Stella lays a bit further off playing with her new prey and I doubt she's listening, but I continue nonetheless. "Oh, you need a villain name! Something good. Nothing boring like LoRd Of ShAdOwS (lord of shadows), like what kinda name is that? It's always just something with shadows or darkness and then that boring Lord. 'Dark Lord' this 'Lord of Shadows' that, these are so boring!"

I notice Stella is now looking at me like I have her full attention. I still with pride at the thought of her considering my monologue interesting.

"How about.... Furry death? Fiendish floof? Cutie of destruction?" She meows, though I'm not sure if it's in approval or not. Before I can think of another terrible villain name for her she turns away and jumps up the small table, knocking down some papers placed on it by a messy necromancer.

I get up to place the notes back, stacking some of them up to avoid further chaos. Right, the book. I've been gone for a while already, I don't wanna make Felix wait too long. Skimming through the books still on the shelf I notice quickly it must be laying on the floor. I try to make my way back to the sofa to work myself through the mess from there, but accidentally knock over a stack of books.

"Nah shit!" Stella jumps up at the sudden noise, making me sigh yet again. "I'm sorry, Stella." 

After a moment I suddenly feel something softly pressing against my arm. I look to see the little cat put her head against me, now looking up at me.

"Meow"

She almost sounds commanding.

Her little paws carry her down the table and across the floor, where she circles a book with what seems to be some notes and an old cup of tea on it. "Hm?" I Walk over and carefully put papers and cup away, to reveal the very book I was searching.

"You found it!", I cheer as I take Stella into my arms and lift her up. "Thank you, little monster." I nuzzle my face into her back. She's. So. Soft.

Just as I'm about to give her some more cuddles the door opens again.

"Ah, here you are."

I look up to see Felix in the doorway. When he sees Stella in my arms his face turns concerned. "MC-" before he can go on with what definitely would've been a lecture about how Stella is dangerous she jumps out of my embrace and hurries away, distracting Felix for long enough for me to change the subject.

"Er, I got your book. Sorry I kept you waiting." I quickly grabbed it from the floor and made my way over to him.

"Thank you."

"Not to be rude but I think I should get going, find something to eat somewhere and then just head to bed."

I go to move past him, but he stops me.

"Actually, we made dinner"

Huh?

"We, Uhm, kind of talked and noticed you helped all of us out today so we thought we'd give something back to you."

My heart warms at the gesture, a smile spreading across my face.

"That's so sweet of you guys..."

Felix smiles and motions for me to follow. I turn around one last time, looking at Stella.

She blinks at me slowly, and I return the gesture.

So she does blink.

"MC?"

"Ah, right!" I quickly close the door behind me, catching up with Felix to eat whatever kind of dinner him and the others made.

I'm glad the thought is what counts, cause I doubt it'll be actually edible.

#Fictif #fictif last legacy #last legacy #last legacy Stella #x reader #gn reader

[jrueships]

Fic you would 10/10 recommend

OKAY so i think or i heard or maybe i think i saw smthin abt this day being fic appreciation day or whatever so IM HURRYIN WITH THIS ONE so i might come back here later n reblog with some more fics i missed but I WILL GIVE YALL SOME!!! just to note tho im honestly not a big fic reader in just regular gen? I'd say I prolly read maybe like.. one fic over 2 months? And that's if a fandom gives birth to a new fic with people im intrigued by! Im a very picky reader so i don't do it often (as u can tell by my VERBOSE vocabulary of same one word showing up 50 times in one sentence i try to write) SO DON'T RLLY EXPECT LIKE. A BIBLE of recs! i also really like reading shorter fics!

You know for fic recs i GOTTA recommend the MOOTS writings!!!! btw if any other moot on here writes and posted a story that's not recommended here LEMME KNOW! LEMME READ THAT SHIT!! ANYWAYS from the moots ive read from: ok. Nevermind. I was gonna link each story and it would have been awesome but the links won't link so 😭 um. I'll just say the title of the fic and the author LMAO sorry im on mobile. OH ALSO most of these fics you're gonna need an ao3 account to read! But it's WORTH IT trrrust me paps!!

Wreck my plans (that's my man) : sunlightdappling!!! I think I read this b4 we became mooted or at the very beginning of moothood but!! The title ALONE made me excited to read it! I love titles with parentheses i love you song titles i love you two verses! The verses are unfamiliar to me but if i had to guess the title is from a swift song? Idk why! I've never really listened to her but i just get the feeling it's something she'd say? IDK what i mean is THE TITLE IS VERY SMOOTH AND ROLLING!! Which is very much how the whole story feels! It all flows so well and everyone is so real!! I love wall street exec/principal/dad/mom andre a ton here! So cool when authors include more teammates in the fic besides the two it's centered on! I'm personally not big on the warriors cause im attracted to poverty (spurs) BUT i LOVE this fic and tbh like all the warriors related stuff my moots bless me with because Warriors are Gay. And my moots? Gay. This is good stuff, everyone just IT IS JUST SOMETHING YOU WANNA AND SHOULD READ and my picky pallet self loved it VERY much! READ IT!!!!

Kdsburneraccount : <- author!! GO CHECK OUT THIS AUTHOR!!! Moot does it ALL! You see a fic in another language you really wanna read because it's like 1 outta the 4 fics your ship has? CHECK OUT KDSBA!!! (Not actually kd) translates the CUTEST stories with permission ofc so OTHERS can enjoy as well! ANDDD moot ALSO writes GREAT fics ! For very interesting ships!!! Includes lots of people in the fics without any being ooc! You can tell moot takes TIME with these!! If you're thinking of getting into nfl fic! This ur person! AND IM YOUR PLUG ‼️‼️

The whole kyle/demar tag. Read it . Just. Read it. 29 fics with love poured into each and every ONE of them (i think idk i read like half i don't remember) putting it in the moot section bcs there's gotta be some tumblr moots of mine established in these stompin grounds (or planning to set ship root here!! So just keep an eye out on this tag !)

Nahco3 : <- author! BRO. IF YOU ON SPORTS TUMBLR N NEVER READ A NAH FIC. DO IT. RN. Reading at least THREE sodium bicarbonate fics is required! Sorry! Either witness greatness or lag behind idk what to tell ya buddy! Moots ability to write like SO many 10k+ works where every single word sounds MWAH is so MWAH it's MWAH just CLICK ONNA FIC MAN!!! SEE FOR YOURSELF!!! my personal fav favs are the fics with russell just cus his personality and behavior are A1 both in real life AND fiction. Russell fics are just something to read if you like those kinda elegant but POPPIN personalities IDK lol READ IT!! Read a kyle/demar story and thank nah for being the strong pillar that ship needs to stop it from falling into the 'short one uwu smol bean baby tall one MEAN and emotionless daddy 🥺' trenches. Seriously. That's a real savior right there !!! Also james harden is so funny in the fics we hate him but we all agree a straight guy who is Straight can just be hilarious sometimes

Freaky Friday : hardlythewiser (sequinedfairy)/ just moots fics in gen also legally if you read nahco3 you read HTW too! TWO-PACKED DEAL!! it's like getting TWO ps5s for the price of ONE ps5! SERIOUSLY READ THIS FIC!!! READ THE FICS!!!! I included the one that got me into moots fics (b4 we were moots! It was just such a creative concept AND all done in one chapter too? The DEDICATION??? i HAD to check it out), but read them All. OR YOU ARE MISSING OOOUT!! writing main ships are HARD. Yet this account manages to knock em outta the park EVERY time!!

Of course i love ALL my moots AND ALL THEIR WORKS so if yall want to be included LEMME KNOW and i will add yall in the rec! I'm just writing this at night rn so im trying to go a lil fast n post!

Ok now just for fics in general hmm

Tonight : anonymous A BRAD/JOHN FIC!!!!! and the fic that encouraged me to join tumblr n scrounge up some fics of my own for the fandom! John n beal have such an interesting relationship and storyline which NEEDED to have a fic done on it! AND THIS ONE IS SO GOOD! i haven't read it in forever since my start here so i can't describe all the deets but! I like it :). It has my og fav there and the perfect melancholy kind of vibe beal/john gives off.

A little TLC : madina / madina fics overall. Madina was probably one of my first fav fic authors for the fandom. AND IDK IF I JUST HAVENT MET MADINA AS A MOOT HERE OR MADINA DOESNT USE TUMBLR OR SMTHIN BUT IM KINDA SAD I CANT BE MOOTS WITH MADINA! because i just wanna COMPLIMENT madina so BAD madina is a GENIUS i LOVE madinas fics i love how madina writes russ , (and yes i am biased because madina writes a lot of my favs but STILL), IF YOU LOVE RUSS.. you'll love madina! Madina just gets PEOPLE! So right! And knows how to write main ships AND rarer ships so well! Only weakness to madina i can think of? Lakers fan lol

Just read all the kd/russ fics they're like all so high quality and good concepts and it's all written about a really complicated relationship but the fics do it so well ! JUST READ EM!! (again tho i read like half and a long time ago so😭)

Football fics now I TOLDYOU I DONT READ ALOT anyways Prom King by playclock!!! When /I/ was rec this, i thought the authors name was playc*ck so i was a little confused 😭 waiting for that thing some writers do where they label it unexplicit or mature then it has l*wd in it LMAO but no! This one is just a really soft really cute fic about stef and allen! If you're looking into getting into nfl through that ship or just that ship, READ THIS FIC!!! it gets INSECURITY it gets PLAYFULNESS it gets FRIENDSHIP it gets LOVE!!! i love it im so glad i was recced it and now im reccin it TO YOU! guys

Easy like a [tuesday] morning : counselor. CUTE title for a somber soft fic!! I love sports fics that dive into issues athletes might have that no one really considers! This one was so understandable it was sad AND I LOVED IT!! a lovely lamar and hollywood fic, their friendship is shown so well!! READ.IT.

AGAIN i mainly read whatever catches my eye, whether that be interesting characters, title, coverart, booksleeve, SO TAKE MY RECS... however you wanna take em JUST KNOW i am no historian of literature or WHATEVER ! THESE ARE FICS I LIKE, you may not like em, who cares everyone knows everything is about me lol eat shorts

#IM KIDDING #what im tryna mean is THERES DEFINITELY A LOT OF OTHER GOOD FICS OUT THERE AS WELL I PROLLY MISSED #GO FIND EM!!! #im a very peculiar picky person with media i digest so i have a select few to share! #there is always more! find the fics that make YOU wanna read!!! #whether it be because of characters or style or beauty or length or WATEVER #i dont even format my fics aesthetically so that should tell u not to take me too seriously!! #ted tumbunity things #hope u enjoy !!! #srry i couldnt give more!

[therabbitsmuse]

10

my new first post. i decided to private most of my content instead of creating a new Tumblr from scratch. not sure why i felt such a strong urge to do so. it's not like anyone reads my posts & almost no one from real life knows about it. i was driven by this overwhelming urge to reset, to start over. as silly (& time-consuming) as it was, i did feel a lot better after coming back to an almost blank slate.

I've slowly been shifting into who I'm meant to be. that's probably one of the best things about moving somewhere new, where I know maybe 2 people. I've been really happy with my routines and not having to take anyone else into consideration. but letting go can be lonely, esp when I held onto certain identities and ideas for so long. I'm not quite sure what to fill that space with. But I know it's time to let go. It's served its purpose and now i no longer feel the same.

For the first time in probably ten years, this is the most inconsistent I have been with electronic music. I'm not excited by any of it. I'm even less excited by the prospect of festivals. i went to a few shows in brooklyn but i felt like i was only trying to chase a feeling. it's a strange thing to face. i thought maybe i was in a slump. i didn't want to believe that maybe I'm becoming one of those ppl who outgrow this phase of life. but all the signs are there. I unfollowed all the rave ig accounts i used to watch religiously. I no longer listen to or update my playlists. I can't name any songs that have really pulled me into the depths of layered complexity. It's fucking weird honestly. i don't think electronic music and shows will go away completely from my life, but i think, for the time being, it's one of my last priorities

you know when you have those thoughts that haunt you a little? where you wonder if maybe it's you that's the problem? I've been in that state as I've navigated through this new life.

i'm so glad i didn't choose to live in the city (tho tbh it was out of my budget anyways lol). i love my space. it's old but it's charming. i am surrounded by good food and small local businesses. i loved it the moment i moved in, minus the few dead cockroaches that appeared out of the abyss. however, when i met some people and told them where i lived, they looked at me as if i said i chose to live on mars. i went over to a few apts and wondered if I made the wrong choice. i have no city view. the kitchen was small af and probably older than i am. there's no doorman. no in-unit laundry or dishwasher. and then i felt dumb trying to chase some sort of illusion of what type of place i 'should' be living in. my studio doesn't feel like home just yet but I've always been happy to return back to it and i think that's all that matters

i feel like my old life is dead. i mean, it is in the past. but it's crazy how only four months on the other side will make me feel like there's a bigger disconnect between the before and after. it feels more like four years have passed by.

making friends is hard af. it's like online dating. you gotta meet a shit ton of people just to find a few that you like. and the ones you do like also have a lot of other choices waiting for them. you gotta schedule something again within the next week at least before the opportunity drops off into the abyss. and then on top of it, you gotta deal with ghosting and people who just want to use you for something. it's fucking exhausting. I've met a few cool ppl and a few potentials i think? like there's no shortage of people to hang with but i still feel a bit like an alien when i go to these group things.

life is so short. and everything can be taken from you at any moment.

i can't believe i had a celery juice phase earlier this year. like what the fuck kind of dark spot was i in LOL

something tells me i need to run after these rays of happiness because we're closing in on the end of everything [again].

#ten thoughts #musings #10 #thoughts #excerpt from a book i'll never write

[jocy-diaries]

06.24.2022

I woke up a little late but at least that means I got a good night of sleep~ Even if my dreams were a little weird. As usual.

It's funny but all of the information people I've met here are low-key rude haha. It's fine though, and I guess it's fair since i don't really speak Italian. I try, but it's so broken and I'm so uncomfortable with it.

I went to Romagia and had a lovely breakfast! It's good! I ordered an omelette, but I think I confused the waitress a little bit. It's not 'oh-me-let' here, it's 'oh-mo-leh-te' haha But turns out the trail didn't start at Riomaggiore, so I had to move on to Corniglia. I swear the train company is making so much money off of me. From there... I took steps. So many fucking stairs. I was hot and sweaty and I doubt any rando would hit on me now lol My genes make me sweaty so wearing a full face of makeup while going hiking is never a good idea. And yet... But I've got to remind myself that no matter how ugly I am, people will still talk to me and be nice to me. Which feels like a blessing.

But there were so many fruit trees!! So many!! I ate some of the grapes and they were SOUR.. A French girl hoped over a fence to get fallen peaches and I had one~ it was so sweet and juicy! I also really wanted to get fallen plums but those were already claimed by insects... I kinda wanted to get a lemon, but like. I wouldn't have done anything with it lol. Maybe adding it to my water, actually 🤔 And if I do come back tomorrow, I wanna go swimming in the little nook I found. I wanted to go scuba diving, but again. The information places are not very helpful. I really like the Italian sea, it's so blue~ I did get to find a place close to the rocks! I chilled there for a bit~ Did some parkour~ And skinned my leg a bit when i slipped ;^; My airport fell into the little pond so I gotta get new ones I guess 😅 And one more adapter. My iPhone kinda died since I didn't charge it last night to charge my android. I also need to buy shampoo. And I'm also low key anxious about the internship now. I know my Italian is bad and because I know I haven't been practicing... Low-key kill me.

Oh! I have my first work call catch up today!! I'm pretty excited for it. And anxious. I'm gonna have so many emails, but I'm curious to see how it's been going.

I think if the chance comes up to get a tattoo in Florence I'll take it. I feel like I accomplished my goal of feeling more connected to my goddess without really bending over backwards somehow? Worshipping her just became a natural part of my day. So I think I'm ready. Even if I don't get the house or the full time job, I want to get this tattoo.

Ohmygod... So I decided to be excited for this right? Be excited for going back to work. But first, the computer work account gives me trouble. And then I decide I'll check my emails, clean things off before my catch up meeting~ .... ......... I have 243 emails.

BROH.

I can't. I'm sure half of those are junk and meetings but OHMYGODS

Ohmygod... This was none of the things I was expecting...

I just had my catch up meeting with my coworker and. Golly. This is NOT good. Social guy got Fired?? He didn't quit, he got *fired* and he was a driving force in some of our integration discussions. My manager still sucks. She's changing everything and making it impossible for my coworker to do anything about it. My boss was very angry about the new tool we were discussing eventhough we discussed it and I said the coworker's company would take care of it? I'm just. What am I going to go back to. August is going to be a literal hell. ...I'm, going to go get pizza.

That update about work actually has me pretty bummed out... Like, why couldn't things just stay good? But I do recall that I just wanted a job to get me all the way to Italy, and that's what it did, and I met some wonderful people along the way so for that I am very grateful. I guess I'll have to apply for some new jobs now though, just in case.

#dear diary #june 2022 #06.24.2022 #italy 2022 #cinque terre #travel

[despair-to-future-arcs]

Next is Hope’s Peak?

So I guess next up is Hope's Peak Academy...?

*puts away the one she has out and brings out a new one* Indeed, mostly how things were for you at the school during your daily life?

‘Hope's Peak Academy’

Hmm, well I suppose to start with; I should explain a few things I did learn...

First off, the teachers usually allow us to leave class until everyone is present and accounted for during first period and the last period meaning that if it's for talent reasons then they'll allow us.

Wait so you all didn't attend class...? You all didn't study, do homework or anything...?

Of course not, why would I - a photojournalist be sitting in class all day, sitting on my thumbs and not taking photos! That was why I was enroll.

In fact, during my time there I mostly went out of Hope's Peak for assignments; like wedding photos, fashion magazines with their photographer was sick and even taking photos of Ultimates that are performing.

Ah so you help with advertising...?

Yeah, I mean as say - I wouldn't be sitting in Class all day and do nothing but there were some limitations I discover...

And what would those be...?

Well... I did learn this when getting a tour of the school with some seniors.

...

...

...

Date: April 1st, 2010

-so your saying that I can leave class and take photos and even do film work?

That... seems a bit irresponsible, don't you think?

Yeah... a bit, but as say this is a school that is to hone our talents so that's what we do with it but the teacher does expect us to come first period and the end of the day but that's for attendance reasons.

Also the school will allow you to leave school grounds and go to other countries for talent reasons as well, so your allow to go whenever you want.

Whoa, so I can visit other countries too?

Well yeah, you can - the school can even get you set up with a passport too if your talent does require you to leave.

Oh... a passport, huh? Well... that's awkward...

Wait, do you... not have a passport?

Not really... I've only gotten photos from Japan only and never left the country, I won't be in trouble, will I?

Nah, I don't think so but you should ask your teachers if you can get a passport; I'm sure they'll understand.

Oh shoot, sorry but I gotta be off - do need to get some articles written up so excuse me.

Okay, and don't worry - I think I'll figure everything else out, so thank you.

*Masa walk away and left Mahiru be*

Well maybe I should talk with my teacher about the passport thing, seems like I do need it...

*walks around the school and starts to look for the teacher*...

'A passport was all I needed and yet she didn't allow me to get one...'

#dr #danganronpa #dtfa #despair to future arc #ds:rw #despair side: re write #sdr2 #super danganronpa 2 #mahiru koizumi #nagi nanami #masa esumi #anonymous #ds ep 7

[soporis]

Tuition and loans will be 100% covered by my other accounts.

That means I have the entirety of my tangerine money to spend (plus, actually, some alterna money since the loan has 0% interest and the account has a minuscule amount of interest, but its so negligible it covers like, a splurge of a candle). That means from this day on, we've got ~$24,000 (yes, some of that is TFSA, so untouchable unless of absolute emergency. Side note, start investing that.)

So following the current layout of how we budget but with the new rent, we've got:

Food and Dining: $400~ Rent and Utilities: $1325 + $40, based off of what I was paying with Erin?? Donation: $11.75 (recurrent only moving forward, sadly) Travel: $97 (monthly opus and then any train trips will be booked via points accumulated) Other: We gotta keep this at a nice low $126.25 to make this an even $2k per month.

So assuming NO additional spending but also no job, that's exactly a year. You didn't account for the ~$500 you've also got in tangerine, nor the fact that this ^ spending habit will not begin in january (probably), so that adds a little bit of wiggle room that is INSTANTLY nerfed by weddings. I don't even know what my costs are going to be for those; I still need to book Caro's fllight and Natalie's expenses keep adding up so I'm really just going to pay what I need until we get there, honestly.

Ok, so maybe it really will be job time come January. I think only job time then will be with Ken though, because I want something fully remote and also low-pressure. If he doesn't have anything for me, then I will begin to look for McGill positions that begin in May, as that will be the time that my savings are going to start to look scarce and start to scare me a bit.

And as I've said before and will say again, maybe yt is gonna really take off for you, lol. Would be a nice way to make a living if it happens, but obviously don't count on it. I would also say not to exclude the of option either, since you can kill so many birds with that stone.

#personal #did i post a budgeting thing like a week ago yes #am i really trying to plan this out also yes