#i still dont LIKE them but like theyre not off-putting to me. like to me they look no worse

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions #ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person #if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully #that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is #not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion #yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something #like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi' #I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad #honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner #and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion #and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully) #but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ? #im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them' #have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf #its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!' #LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333 #ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious. #MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions #ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol #being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless #but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy #and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize #ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people #so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3 #i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE #watch nobody read this fr #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #meows post

[robinfollies]

some design comcepts for older lily + lewis!!! my latest and greatest headcanon for them is that in the future they get gems and can do magic of their own :33 i just think it’d be neat,,, something to do with their love of magic!!!! 🥺

#im normal about stdwolom. number one fan have been since i was 15 #i need them EXPLODED AND GONE THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME BYE #anyways these designs are still. rather up in the air #definitely need some more refining and all that #but yknow!!! for now theyre pretty good kickoff points 🥺 #lewis’s fit is loosely based off a wizard fit i gave him in a halloween piece from 2022 hehehe!! #I THINK THEY SHOULD GET MAGIC. I THINK THEY SHOULD AS A TREAT #billie helps them learn ofc!!! AND SO DOES STOTLE. THEM AND THEIR THREE WEIRD KIDS OR WHATEVER #i love them so bad. stdwolom….☹️☹️☹️ #dont overthink the gem colours or anything btw. i think theyre just… general ones? question mark? #IDK MAYBE ILL PUT MORE THOUGHT INTO THE SPECIFICS LATER #BUT FOR NOW THEYRE JUST. GENERAL ONES WITH NO SPECIFIC POWERS IN PARTICULAR LMAO #robin’s art #billie bust up #2024 art #bbu billie #bbu lewis #bbu lily #stdwolom #this all started bc i looked at stdwolom and went ‘i think they should be she/her they/them cool hat coded. lewis should get a cool hat’ #then i brain blasted. #whats more cool hat than a wizard and whats more wizard than ACTUAL MAGIC #i like to think im smart sometimes #okay hi update these guys are part of my… oc lore? now so uhhh guess theyre getting the story tag #The Panderity Chapter

[moonpaw]

Fighting DEMONS rn trying not to get invested in one piece to figure out wtf you're posting about!!!!

come here cyber.... we have this thang

‎

#mp answers #i've been trying so hard not to be annoying to my bnha friends but if you will allow me to push this for this ask let me say 🙏 #if you're afraid of the episode count for one piece the manga is a lot quicker read while being just as enjoyable because the art style is #an actual delight. its great its fantastic im absolutely in love with it #the series is soooo good and i know luffy can seem unappealing to people before they start but he's just SUCH a great character & continues #to be even now. the story is SO GOOD the characters are SO GOOD... theres so much lore and world building that its insane #if you read the manga we get 'cover stories' on what's going on with previous characters to see what theyre up to even though we moved on #from where we left them. a lot of these cover stories blend into the main story so well its just seamless #there's one where we get introduced to a character we dont see hundreds of episodes into the anime and they show up like; during the second #saga. the series is about traveling to other islands and every single arc has been tied to another in some way or form that shows up later #even if its sagas and sagas later- it still becomes relevant again!! it's a huge ongoing story and there isnt a single arc that feels like #it has no purpose (sans filler in the anime-but even then!! some filler arcs are really entertaining!) #it's emotional! its sad! its downright stupid and silly but GOD... you can feel the love that oda put into this series and his characters #and the emotions in the expressions and the messages the story gives off it just makes me UEUHGHHAHGHH!!! #it's all about the adventure and the romance of it all! its about the freedom it brings and bringing freedom to others! #its a series where treasure should be a focus given its pirates and the its a giant treasure hunt for the one piece and yet! and yet so man #of the characters treasures are things that are not coins and gems but people and promises and family and and #im going to EXPLODE i love one piece

[rouge-the-bat]

god i always feel so awkward asking people to give me credit when theyve used my icons or transparents jfksjjfd

like ik i didnt like. draw these or anything, i just took official art and did a bunch of edits.... but it Does take quite a bit of time to make them, and it also requires having a good eye for icon-making to have them actually look nice in Icon Size

like i gotta keep it visually pleasing and add color adjustments but have it still recognizeable what is in the picture when small, cropping just right so its not too zooomed out/too close and also centered or off-center in a way that fits the pic better, choosing/editing the background, any extra details i edit/draw on, dont have it be cluttered, etc. some of the transparent i make are even from bad quality and/or small pics that i have to manually clean up and basically draw over bits to make them look nice.

im always putting a lot of thought and work into making my icons nice and my transparents clean so i feel like i deserve credit for them! and yet when it comes down to approaching someone to ask for credit when theyre using one im just like ah, >.<;; could you credit me pls... if you dont mind... if thats okay with you... 👉👈

#i also dont wanna accidentally come off like im mad about someone not giving me credit or something #bc im not! it can be easy to overlook text asking for credit/forget what a picture was saved from/found the pic from elsewhere #(like google images or someone had linked/reposted my stuff somewhere) #or whatever else #(which i wouldnt be happy about the repost thing if they didnt give credit but thats a different topic) #id only get mad if someone was being a real asshole about me asking for credit kcbdjfjd #tho also some of my icons/transparents take a lot less time n have a lot less alterations on them than others #but i still put time n energy into them to make them look nice even if theyre simpler than my other ones yunno...

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops. #and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can! #and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here: #barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time. #barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done. #and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies. #and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them) #and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances'' #from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

[misspickman]

My unpopular bg3 opinion is they tried way too hard to make some of these characters mean and flippant which is meant to make the player more interested in them and clearly this has worked on many (good for you !) but personally i could not care less. If 80% of what a character has to say to me is bitchy i will simply leave them at camp for most of the game

#Is this a skill issue of mine yeah maybe. I just find it annoying #At best and off-putting at worst like is there no better way to show that shadowheart is going through stuff/have her be mean that isnt #Her getting pissy that you have respect for a bunch of dead slaves #That was wild. I didnt ask her either she just had the need to let me know she thinks these slaves aint shit bc they didnt fight back #Thanks larian! #Wild take maybe idk but i dont think that makes her interesting i think it makes her off-putting. In this case #I generally like shadowheart this just sure is a thing to have her say. And not give the player an option to respond in any way #Ill get over this single line but im mad now. This isn't the only instance of this #I guess both larian and bioware think that characters thinking slavery is kinda ok is not a deal breaker #Txt #I know that these characters soften during the game. I have played a fair amount of it. I did shadowhearts quest i know whats up. Still #In both her and astarions case i think theyre written to have some wild takes on whats Ok to do that get kinda swept under the rug #if you manage to shove them in a Good direction. But u dont. Actively see them grapple with any of it #They just suddenly go wow im better now. Yay. I suddenly dont want to enslave other people for my power (in astarions case) #Like this switch flipped bc of my one roll? Idk. Im not super convinced #I know this is how the game works. I just think it could have been written better

[padfootastic]

Its tragic that Regulus died but it's more tragic that he didn't have to. Kreacher could Apparate him from the cave. And if Regulus wanted to protect his family, his secret death achieves this how? He just disappears and Vold isn't looking for him or punishing deserter' family? Isn't worried that the boy whose house-elf he borrowed to test horcrux protection vanished? But the again, Vold wasn't shook when Kreacher showed up at Bella's in 5th book though elf supposedly died in that damn cave. XD

everything about regulus feels like an exercise in didn’t have to tbh

like yeah i know heroic teenager sacrificing himself blah blah but,,,,after reading a lot of fics that actually focus on worldbuilding/plot/side characters--im not entirely convinced that'sd what it was. like. if harry & co hadn't found the locket by sheer luck, then there's a v good chance things wouldnt have ended the way they had. reg ended up making things harder in his quest to vanquish the dark lord or wtv.

and like, im not even trying to bash here, but when i look at regulus the top character traits i see are arrogance, ambition, inflated sense of self worth, recklessness, and single mindedness (if thats valid). i mean,,,our boy could've easily asked sirius for help, he knew for a fact that his brother was on the other side, but he didnt. why? i cant see anything but ego there. he didnt even try. he was nowhere close to putting the cause above his own self.

but also,,,the fact that he actually went in the cave, presumably knowing he would die,,,that kinda indicates something much sadder for me. like, why else would he be so ok w the fact if he wasnt, say, unbearably suffocated and hopelessly over his head? if there wasnt latent suicidal ideation or, at the very least, a desire to get out, get away, not be here.

like, idk. i cant think of why he wouldnt ask kreacher to apparate him back/help him escape when he knew house elves could bypass the magic until he'd just fully accepted (perhaps even wished for) his death ykno?

#regulus black #i feel like i went off on a tangent there lol #but like. idk. i see reg as an interesting character #but he's still very much a kid for me ykno> #unless its au andpeople have put effort into it--i cant see him as some kind of suave chessmaster who was masterfully manipulating things #the way he wants them #his decisions indicated a high degree of reckless thinking #arguably even more so than sirius id say #and i dont think he used any kind of foresight either #all of which r super normal for teens yeah? #so coming back to the ask: yeah. i feel like a lot of what he did was basically 'didnt have to' #but he was also a possibly self centred teens (as they usually are) who felt like he was all alone (which in a way he was) who valued #his pride and also wanted to make a statement #his letter felt more like someone wanting desperately to leave a mark on the world theyre leaving behind #possibly bc they feel like theyve never done anything lol #actually looking at reg in terms of an inferiority complex is so interesting #sorry for fully psychoanalysing the guy im just rambling here lol #pen’s asks #pen’s notes

[bunnyb34r]

Trying to undo the damage of Facebook w/o risking your relationship with a loved one is like defusing a fucking bomb sometimes I stg

#marquilla #i had a whole thing typed out ab this but ugh #im trying to explain to my mom that no they are not fighting to let children have sex changes. the only sex change sugery they preform on #minors are the fucked up shit they do to intersex kids at birth #that hormone therapy would be the only 'trans treatment' a minor could get and no it will not be w/o parental consent. and that hrt is #reversible. #id love to try to deradicalize the rest of my family but im sorry those motherfuckers are too far gone for me to try and keep my own sanity #like 1 went from far right to libertarian which isnt much better but it's something but im still leery of him ngl #and tra/dwife cousin's husband is full blown far right and i know it's wrong but i dont care enough ab them to want to try #ahdhdgdg i know it's bad but like they can all go to hell idc #and then theres the cousin i dont talk to who is a bible thumping freak who told his sister at her fucking lesbian wedding something #something god doesn't approve or something like that like 😬 #and hes in a cult of some kind im sure but i didnt dig deep enough to find out if it's just WS flavored or full on WS shit #but theyre dead to me. i only have my lesbian cousin w/that last name sorry i dont have any [name]s in my family besides her #wouldnt put it past tra/dwife cousin's sister to be in some cult or cult adjacent beliefs honestly #i know shes being abused in some capacity and that her husband is a fucking asshole but shes a bitch so i dont talk to her at all anyway #(not that her being a bitch makes her deserving of that. those statements are two sep things. i feel bad shes being abused. AND separately #shes a bitch and her being a bitch is why i dont talk to her) #ANYWAY I Have a headache so im gonna wash the gunk off and hope i feel better

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

why do teachers insist on going around and making everyone say their name and something about themself??? like what the fuck, what do they want from me hi I'm ellis and my fun fact is this is making me want to fucking combust, nice to meet you like I'm not gonna remember any of this I'm just suffering for no fucking reason

#i hate this teacher immediately #she did put her pronouns in her introduction slide but still #if you somehow dont know im autistic which the school knows #and that means i dont have to answer any questions if i dont want to #with no represcussions 🤙🏻🤙🏻 #however it felt way more awkward to just stare at her this time 🧍🏻‍♂️so im going to throw myself off something /j #we're now watching some of hamlet and i fucking love hamlet i am a complete shakespeare nerd so she is gaining back some points #cause this isnt my shakespeare lecture but shes bringing him up anyway 🤭 #i still hate her 🤺🤺 how dare you make me speak #NOW WE'RE WATCHING SOME OF LION KING COMPARING THEM HEHEHE i love the fun fact that lion king is an adaptation of hamlet #its a quite well known fact nowadays but in case you didnt know #lion king is an adaptation of hamlet 😚😚 #hamlet and the tempest >>>> everything else #theyre my faaavveess #i really like literature #one of my broader special interests lmfao #i do have focuses #like shakespeare and marlowe #and then gothic fiction like dracula and frankenstein and jekyll & hyde and DORIAN GRAY #i fucking love dorian gray i have 5 copies 🤭🤭 possibly 6 i have a complete oscar wilde thing but i dont know if its just his plays or not #im very off topic but im trying to stop the autism panic by talking to myself about autism interests in tumblr tags lmfao #modern problems need modern solutions <3 #the new and improved grounding technique #one of my favourite topic is the origins of vampires in literature 🤭 #and how they went from mythical grave yard monsters to hot seductive nobility lmfao #OH FANTASTIC NOW SHES MAKING US SIT IN GROUPS AND TALK WOW I FUCKING LOVE THAT /SARCASM SARCASM SO MUCH SARCASM I WANT TO SCREAM AND RUN

[waywardsalt]

dungeons in linear loz games made you feel stupid because you’d sometimes be wandering without a clue until stumbling over a little detail you’d overlooked; dungeons in totk make you feel stupid because they hardly seem to trust that you have any more than very basic problem-solving skills

#hi hi hi im still being annoying abt this game #when i have the time im going to give all of my og totk salt posts their own dedicated tag #bitching abt totk #thats the tag ive decided #ill get murdered if i put this in a normal tag #i just. good lord this game managed to piss me off on so many levels #as an enjoyer of games as a zelda fan as a writer as someone who likes a bit of a challenge as a musician with the weird leitmotif stuff #i UNDERSTAND that some people like the totk dungeons BECAUSE theyre easier and this post is not for them #this post is for the bitches who like the experience of being in a dungeon for over an hour #and like even with dungeons its not like a skill roadblock you just gotta fuck around enough until smth clicks #skill roadblocks r kinda annoying in games thats why i typically have month breaks between elden ring play sessions #they just. literally hand you what you need in totk and it usually amounts to ‘use ultrahand’ #the new abilities are good for gameplay and world exploration and shit for actual puzzles #totk salt #that would be a good salty (me) totk hate tag but thats a tag other ppl use and would not be exclusive to my shit #i would walk into a dungeon room in totk and not have to spend more than 3 minutes clearing it and then getting a 5th/4th of the objective #i dont feel good abt solving a problem when i dont actually get to think for myself abt how to solve it #and the key to the ‘puzzle’ is the only other interact-able thing in the room #salty talks

[perenlop]

i was initially gonna like, undo the whole “hero travels between worlds” thing with the gti hero in my verse, not because i didnt like it but for starfall plot reasons, but ive since deleted that plot point bc it was wayyyy too restrictive and i couldn’t figure out a decent workaround for that. so world crossing hero is back baby and now im thinking about eris taking the pokemon over to the human world. btw its totally an equestria girls scenario where the funny animals get turned human and they gotta learn how to act like one

#i mean they have pokemon in eris’s world hes just from the main series timeline #buuuuut. this is more fun to me #and i already have a pokesona idea that keeps the pokemon as pokemon so i wanna have fun here #kiran is an obvious one to take over but imagine. he brings hydreigon home #also in the psmd future he might take some pokemon over there as refuge but. idk i gotta figure out his limits #i imagine bc it puts a lot of strain on the timeline that eris cant abuse this power #or take more than like. one pokemon at a time? #echoed voice #pmd posting #btw the original idea was that when kiran went to the worldcore to wish for eris to travel between worlds #they really did break the universe a bit. but they provided an opportunity for eris to return #and in the process the human world was shut off to them- forever #a lock was basically placed on their world- no one can come in and no one can get out #(psmd hero/partner were exempt bc theyre reincarnations/native to that world) #which is why castors arrival was a massive deal in starfall #hes the first to arrive since the gti hero. and hes not even a hero hes just some guy. not even a human #buuuuuut. i love the idea but it really limits what i can do… #so instead im saying that the pmd world is extremely fragile. legends are working overtime to fix the spacetime continuum #and no more heroes have been summoned from the other world because of it. and dimension travel is discouraged #so castor showing up is still concerning bc they dont know whats going on #(ignoring eris. he didnt travel back and forth constantly but necrozma definitely wasnt a fan of him djfjfjfj) #necrozma: hydreigon i hope you know im only excusing your shitty little gf because the other ones gonna break the world if i dont let him

[arolesbianism]

Breakcore may not be a super strictly defined genre but I swear ppl will call anything that has noises at all like y'know music has like just normal ass music from any other genre breakcore with a straight face and I just have to sit there and try to not reveal I'm a pretentious fuck when it comes to this stuff

#rat rambles #this is abt you splatoon players there's a maximum of One side order song that you could argue is breakcore #and I would consider it breakcore but its very very lowkey breakcore #and its c0ld st0rage btw its sooo light but it was enough to make me go oooooo a new sploon breakcore question mark? when I first heard it #I do rly like side order music but plsssssss most of it isnt even close to breakcore #also on a related note most sploon toon music in general is like. fairly normal music imo? like its Good music dont get me wrong but like #most of it is either just normal ass music with voice filters or gasp the horror uses samples in its melodies #I adore the soundtracks of all three games so dearly but talking to other ppl who do can be funny because theyre all like yeah its rly #weird I didnt like it at first but its grown on me haha #and I just have to sit there like bro I used to not care for a lot of it because it was Too normal for my taste #now by that I mostly mean like squid squad and all the idol music from the first two games #and tbf. the idol music still isnt rly my jam usually marie gets the exception because of that one amv #like I love pearl and marina with my heart and soul but off the hook music has always been some of farthest from my taste in music #which is why damp socks need to make more songs Now because holy shit do they go crazy #it takes my favorite part of off the hook (the vocals) and aplifies what I liked abt them and puts them over absolute banger instrumentals #splatoon piano is my favorite shit you know shits abt to go crazy when they pull out the splat band piano #but yeah note my specification of the first two games idol songs because deep cut music is absolutely delightful #frye's occasional english is kind of scary but it gives me fuel for my history nerd frye hcs so I will welcome it with open arms #also while I love all of the idols vocals deep cut vocals are the most consistently good imo #actually I should just like make a splat band tier list or smth instead of going on a tangent in the tags of this post

[screamingay]

finally snuck myself an adderall (10 mg) and at first i was worried that i was feeling manic or jittery (which would mean everyone was right and i'm just bad at everything and it's my fault) but then i realized... my body isn't used to the ability to think about doing something and then immediately getting up to do it so it was a little overwhelming to gain that ability all of a sudden. my whole life (except for rare, unpredictable, and uncontrollable hours of productivity) whenever i've thought to myself "i want/need to get up and do [thing]" i would just keep sitting there and feel increasingly guilty for not doing it.

my parents would plead with me to brush my teeth before bed as a kid, asking why i couldn't just get up for 5 minutes and do it, and i'd cry and say i don't know, i'm sorry, i promise i want to brush my teeth. my teachers would keep me after class in high school and ask me why i hadn't done a project they knew i could do, they knew i did fine on everything else, but how could i tell them that i just couldn't bring myself to sit down and do the research or start writing, and i'd choke back tears as i told them i didn't know why, i'm sorry, i promise i want to do your project.

today i've done about 20 chores and projects that i've been meaning to get to for days, weeks, months. i cleaned the toaster oven, put up some more coat hooks to get the coats off the floor, washed 2 rounds of dishes and a put in a load of laundry, put away all the clean clothes and picked up the floor so it's walkable again, rounded up all the hair dye supplies and gave them their own spot, put away some things that had been out of place for a long time, and i still have energy to bag up the garbage in the bedroom, fix the patch on my jeans, and finish the laundry once it's done. probably even more after that. things that would usually drain me for hours individually, or would take hours because i'd give up or get distracted halfway through.

i never drank coffee because whenever i did it made me jittery and fucked up my heartbeat but this prescription shit.. this is good. getting my own prescription would be lovely but would take forever and be very difficult, so for now im more than happy to settle for predictable & controllable bursts of productivity rather than my usual unpredictable, uncontrollable ones.

#still not 'proof' i have adhd but. i mean. #im also noticing that i can think more logically and overcome mental road blocks that would usually make me too frustrated to finish a task #like im hanging up pants to dry right. and i dont have enough hangers. i might have spent like 2 full minutes standing there and then #freaking out a little bc theyre wet and have to get hung up but theres no hangers and i dont wanna hang them up in these other spots im #thinking of but i will if i have to but it'll suck and im taking too long aaaaaa #but this time i was just like. oh i can take a couple shirts off their hangers and put them back on after the pants are dry. #like. decisions feel so simple rn #also just made dinner and im thinking abt that post abt snacking and how if i could trust myself to make dinner every night and reasonably #clean up afterwards i would absolutely eat snacks less. like flavor blasted goldfish type snacks. #but as it stands i cannot trust myself to cook and so i must snack in order to keep myself alive another day

[britneyshakespeare]

i dont know where to scream about this but i honestly feel some sort of weird relief that r//nbow high is declining. i knoooow i know it's popular and they've been such high quality dolls and collectors have loved them and some(?) people like the web series (or do they? ive heard mixed things but ive never had any interest in watching it) but oh god. i just. sometimes it takes me awhile to appreciate modern doll lines and their aesthetics but i just could not get past their weird fish faces and in general i do not like monochrome styling themes. i realize their designers did so much with their concepts, i realize a lot of heart and effort went into them, and i completely understand why so many people were floored with the quality of the dolls and the rate at which they were being put out. even though the prices kept rising for them, you could at least see where your money was going, like they were always so well-constructed and doing new things. but like. at the end of the day. on a very basic level they were just never all that aesthetically pleasing to me and it was kind of maddening to see all that potential going towards a line of dolls that had just... like... facial proportions i could not get past lol.

#i wasn't super into the way theyd ape (or 'pay homage to') modern celebrity/designer fashions #but like i get it. that's a strong brand aesthetic. it's NOT something i really care for but yeah. #i guess if you were to compare it to like. lol omg dolls and the way they do so many celebrity homages #i think lol omg elevates it a bit more. im not a HUGE fan of lol omg but im like ok i DO get it. #even tho the faces are flatter and more dead-inside i actually think that makes it more forgivable and doll-like for me. #like. r//nbow high just hits some kind of undesirable middle for me between cartoony and stylized and realistically detailed. #also not everything's about 'quality' and fabric diversity and working zippers and pockets or whatever #i mean those things ARE nice but at the end of the day i just prefer imaginative designs. things should have a mix #not saying rh didnt have those things but. oh god. i just. i just did not like the dolls in themselves #the monochrome thing again i just cant do it. i heavily dislike monochrome doll designs and unnatural colored doll hair #not that it can never be done (the wild colorful hair) but for me it's gotta be done in a very specific way #it has to stand out rather than blend in i guess? idk im not a design expert i have no reason to be so snobby about this #tales from diana #dolls #rant #i actually think whatever they've been doing w their latest line. downgrading everything in 'quality' and making them seem like #they're appealing to a younger audience before and cheapening the production... i think it makes them look less weird to me #i still dont LIKE them but like theyre not off-putting to me. like to me they look no worse #this isn't to like mock anyone who ever really was into rh bc i know that was a lot of ppl. i get it #i just felt VERY alienated by how popular they were and how much lavish praise theyd get all the time #bc overall the end product just lacked smth for me. that i felt like other doll lines had. which was... cuteness #anyway dont take any of my mean opinions too much to heart. remember that i was a na na na surprise fan #i own four of those dolls. so take everything i say w a grain of salt #(i loved them when they were still fabric-bound ngl i thought that was such a cool brand choice... it saddens me theyre hard plastic now)

[oh-gh0st]

thinking

#ghosts rambles #woke uo. i am somewhat awake #ive been kind if realizing how im starting to prefer drawing ghostoro instead of shinushi… like #i dont want to stop drawin shinushi all together but i dont think i developed their dynamic enough to be appealing to me #so i draw ghostoro instead because i gave them the “normal couple” dynamic. like theyre not overly in love w each other but #<- they still know that the other loves them compassionately. regardless if they say or show it which leaves room for experimentation #and the fact it has more like plot development to it??? CHARACTER PROGRESSION. THATS THE WORD #ive said what ghost’s purpose was in oso san before but ill say it again. they help choro be put into his place and humble him So much #come 5 years later hes a completely changed man #maybe because they bounce off of each other well. both are short tempered but one knows how to control it and the other lets it get to him #IDK… ive been seeing it a lot more lately #again i dont wanna stop drawing shinushi buts its like. i need to work on it before im passionate ab them as much as i am w ghostoro