#i should probably take some meds

[rats-from-the-rubber-room]

you know that the obsession's bad, when you start having dreams about it

so here's a recreation of a nevermore related dream i had last night:

Will is being chased by a creature that has the body of an eagle and montresor's head, while the eagle-montresor is screaming slurs at him

after some time the poor man manages to run away and ends up somewhere that looks very much like a court

what's happening there basically is:

Lenore and Annabel Lee are having a rap battle over who gets the custody of the kids after their divorse

Morella(the kids), having a drinking competition with the judje(Prospero's rats) and Ada cheering her on, while pouring more questionable liquid into the glasses

then, Pluto, in his spectre form, attacks all the rats and Duke starts shouting: "yes, mon minou, go get 'em! you can do it! "

Berenice: that's so gay

Eulalie: we're gay tho

Berenice: that doesn't make it any less gay

scene cuts to everyone sitting in the deans' office

dean Mourn: what the fuck were all of you doing?! this is an academy and not some kind of cheap, shitty circus! fifty demerits to everyone!

dean Merry: it was fun though, so five merits to all of you

Lenore goes on a long ass rant about how sick she is of all theese merits and demerits, how the deans could just give everyone 45 demerits and nothing would have changed, and how this whole system makes absolutely no sense

the deans get pissed off so they give Lenore 50 demerits for disrespect and 20 more demerits for attitude

scene cuts again, this time everyone (exept for the deans) is standing in a hall

Annabel Lee: omg, pet, what you said to the deans was so hot

Lenore: Thanks i guess

Annabel Lee: also, being divorsed sucks, wanna get married again?

Lenore: omg yes sure! i thought you'd never ask

after theese words they start making out

Montresor(looking like his normal, ugly, human self): fucking idiots

Will: I thought I was fucking idiot

Montresor: you are

theese two also start making out

eveyone else starts making out too

Prospero: i hate gay people

Prospero sings crush culture by conan gray, while wearing a long, puffy dress as if he was a disney princess

#i should probably take some meds #but i'm scared it'll only make my dreams weirder #also #does anyone want me to write a crack fick based on this? #anyways #nevermore webtoon #lenore nevermore #annabel lee nevermore #white raven #will nevermore #montresor nevermore #morella nevermore #ada nevermore #pluto nevermore #duke nevermore #pluke #berenice nevermore #eulalie nevermore #berenice x eulalie #prospero nevermore #tbh he would slay a long puffy dress #atleast he did in my dream #the deans nevermore #deans nevermore #merry and mourn nevermore

[goldiipond]

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS THATS RIGHT ITS ART SUMMARY TIME. OH YEEAAAH

tpn is definitely one of the longest fixations i've had in a very long time, these kids mean soo much to me and have helped me branch out with my art in really fun ways. i'm really happy with where my style is now, and heres to another year of drawing the same damn anime characters <3

2022 | 2021 | 2020

#skye's doodles #skye's ramblings #ive been using both tags for these im not quite sure why. but i do love to ramble on these #did NOT have enough space for all my favorite pieces choosing was soo hard for some months ... 2024 skye should space out his favs better #to be honest this year was. interesting !! my motivation became a little rocky towards the end #partially due to finally getting a diagnosis for something ive been struggling w forever + med trials and annoying side effects YAAY #but i am glad i have still been able to make art that i can be happy with despite all that and it honestly feels. a little more special? #idk if that really makes sense but yah. really happy with how my art has developed this year cant wait for next year <3 #also godd the way ray n don each take up half these spaces... anime boy disease is incurable i fear <3 #n yah i totally just grabbed this template from the one i made last year n changed the top doodle/year. i will probably keep doing this <3 #shoiuld i tag this as tpn? it is all tpn and ive seen other summaries in the tag today. much to think about

[suncaptor]

yeah this cannot go on i need to take something like my chest is exploding i can't calm down it's 7am i feel insane insane insaneeeee

#though I HAVE successfully testing that ldn gives me an insane amount of (anxious) energy when i'm on a 3-4mg dose but then i get foggy and #empty at 4-5mg i think #i'm not sure if i should go down to like 2 or try to find the window between #i wish i just had like. a year to get meds right and heallllll so badly #but i can't afford going all the way down and having more relapses #i feel like i'm having aheart attack rn it's so bad it's so acutely painful #and it's so weird bc it's so empty #too like last month i was so full of everything and especially uh attachment fear but now it's just like pain empty screaming pain #i think it's the not eating food enough thing #i mean I DID eat MANY crackers today. rolls eyes #not enough hhh #i know theres so much i have to get done but like ic annot do anything i can't even message anyone i can't i need to get sedated #i don't know if i should try having MORE ldn or ritalin (probably not bc it doesn't sedate me like adderall) #or just hydroxyzine or muscle relaxers #hydroxyzine is looking like the most likely option #bc i still associate muscle relaxers too much with trauma i can't take them they scare me #i feel like i'm dying #i don't think you guys get how fast i'm typing rn like i am going fucking insane if i die of a heart attack for real it would suck huh #no i KNOW this is panic i KNOWWWW i'm panicking but i also feel like i'm going to throw up and die forever it's so bad i feel so so bad lik #i don't think people get how bad everything is i need it to all calm down and stop i need it to get better i am not okay holy shit #you know what everything in my life might not feel fixable and i am letting all my professors down but I can probably take incompletes wors #comes to worst i need to take hydroxzyine sleep and then cave and buy some food tomorrow #like what's happening now i #there FEELS like there's a SHAARP HOOOK in my CHEST IMAPLING ME #if i sedate myself enough i might be able to communicate with people for real instead of burrowing my head into the ground forever and ever #yeah okay i'm taking hydroxzyine #i feel like the problem with antihistamines now after last year is [redcated] #trying to convinc emyself this is not a suicide attempt or self harm i just need to calm down hahahahafih;aeifahe;wifahewifae #that's what they're PRESCRIBED for #i think i want benadryl instead though bc it's shorter and it also makes me head clearer i wonder if i have any i think it's not here thoug

[daechwitamv]

.

#scared to go to a new doc bc i need a referral to a rheumatologist for several reasons most of all bc im scared they wont take me seriously #last time i went to a rheumatologist the verdict was that i probably have 'light rheumatoid arthritis connected to psoriasis' #and that its too early for meds #thing is some symptoms dont match up with that and im in so much pain and the fatigue has become a real issue #the diagnosis is 3 years old now and i rly should go back to a diff doc to get re-evaluated bc i cant manage life like this #but its hard getting taken seriously when ure young and a woman #im feeling humiliated and i havent even called the docs office yet lol #i hate this

[front-facing-pokemon]

#bonus under the cut where they're just a tiny bit closer because i couldn't decide which one was better #lairon #lairon is also pretty good. they have this Really big nose thing happening here which i'm not sure if it's supposed to be a nose or not #but it definitely looks like one from this angle. it definitely Looks like they're snifsnifsnifsniffing that kind of vibe #even though it's kinda on the top of their head. either way lairon is a steel-type and that's inherently cool #i very much like steel-types that look less like Objects or Mechanisms and more like Creatures. Animals. but that's just my personal taste #notably it's also part rock-type because reasons i guess so 4x weakness to fighting my belovèd. just like weavile #and ground also. but at least the rock typing nullifies steel's weakness to fire! in exchange for. a weakness to water #ahh well i dunno anything about the stats of this bitch. i assume they're good and very tanky because steel-type but i'm not #gonna look it up. i usually do but i am tired this morning and i need to just get some coffee and take my meds so i can call someone to #come pick me up and take me to fedex because i don't have a fucking car anymore and also driving is very scary and hard #probably my grandma. which is ironic because she's the one i sold my car to. she'd be taking me to fedex in my own car‚ technically #i dunno y'all. i need to work‚ too‚ so i should probably stop writing. y'all have a good day. brits out there take care with the heat wave #if that's still going on by the time this posts

[caterpillarinacave]

So you choose not to step through the door, after all why mess with nonsense when you're already in nonsense? You check the items in your pockets, your phone you shut off to conserve power, the dog tag, key and top clink together but offer no help, and when you fiddle with the walkie-talkie you manage to get it to turn on, excitedly you call out to the void but only static responds, which is disappointing but predictable, so you put the items away and hunker down for the night, looking at the sky you can see that the stars seem strange, though you're no expert, and the moon seems to have a second smaller moon near it which looks pretty cool but is a stark reminder of how not on your own world your predicament has landed you.

In the morning you begin looking through the nearby bushes and plant life taking note of anything strange, you notice the berries you had been picking before you stepped through the door are also growing around here, they look and taste the same, and some other plants seem pretty similar to the forest from before as well, although the further away from the door you go the more unfamiliar plants you come across (of course that may just be your lack of familiarity with plants) and the few animals you have noticed are bizarre in a way that you can't explain, like the people from town, they seem almost perfectly familiar, just a little off and the noises they make have you thinking they wouldn't be able to communicate with their counterparts either, brushing aside another branch you come across a strange funnel made of metal which you pocket and what looks to be a regular whistle, you wipe it down and blow but hear nothing aside from the air going through, you consider it is either broken or maybe a dog whistle, as you go to put it away you hear something big running in your direction, before you can decide how to react a large creature storms out of the bushes and stops in the clearing before you, it's huge as a horse with paws and sharp teeth it licks as it looks around and spots you, it shakes its head again reminding you of a horse, then steps closer before turning and staring expectantly, you get the feeling it's waiting on you, impatiently, and you realize it seems to expect you to get on its back. Do you get on?

Yes.

#I am a terrible terrible Irish child #Clearly all those folk tales whose only moral was “don’t climb on the strange horse” were lost on me. Technically not a horse though. So. H #Uh please don’t run into the bog with my on your back strange horse thing. #…This may be one of my worse ideas #On one hand moving away from what appears to be the only connection my world doesn’t sound like a great idea #Back through the door is logically the the best bet. However I’ve already explored the area #The only thing to do would be to just sit there for hours and that will get me nowhere. The things that do have leads like the walkie- #Sputtering are things to pay attention to but not things that are likely to change if I don’t move. The whistle is the newest thing- #And let’s be real I’ve been in the bramble for like 14 hours without the neurospicy meds I am teetering on dangerously antsy #Probably better to get on the horse before I come up with something more stupid #It’s interesting my world flora seems to surround the door. I wish I’d payed more attention before I stepped through #If the nearby flora on the other side seemed like it would come from this world it would suggest that the door just leaks between universes #In two ways. If it’s earths flora then it’s either only leaking one way which we could no from one step through #Or - which we will not know but should pay attention for if we step into some other world - if the earths flora shows up around EVERY porta #Which would suggest earth is the base in some way #It might be beneficial to climb a tree to try and see farther out #Though I don’t exactly get many opurtunited to haul myself up a tree so I would put to much stock in a)my upper body strength #And b) my ability to chose a tree that won’t kill me #It’s defintley worth taking in as much info as possible. I’ll try and notice things like different winds gravity tempature ect #What should i tag this all. Help I got lost in a blackberry bush? Anon who takes me to alternate planes of reality? #I know #Guys I got lost in a bush #That’s a good one. Nothing weird there at all. #FINE I’ll rage it “guys I got lost in a blackberry bush” #I wonder what makes things so familiar. Perhaps this world exists very closely to the other. Perhaps they’ve crossed paths before. #Perhaps they’ve shown up in our dreams. Perhaps I have bad memory and my brain gaslights itself into thinking everything’s familiar #I wonder maybe the horse is a horse/dog thing- that would explain the likeness to the dog whistle (?) #This can’t get any worse I say doing something that could very much make it worse #Eh what’s the worst that can happen. At least I don’t have to pay taxes in this world #Guys I got lost in a black berry bush

[theskeletoninthegarden]

I'm taking a few days off for my birthday, I have some appointments, but otherwise I wasn't sure what I was going to do, until today when I decided to strip my laptops for fun parts

#personal #one ill probably leave alone as a back up since ive had him for years #the other i dug out of a trashcan and its screen is going out #but the reat should be fine #i have a kit for this i bought a while back #when i intended on taking apart my ds light and replacing the screen #i still want to do that #but itll be nice to have an extra hard drive from this gaming laptop to use #im new to all this despite wanting to do it for years #i took apart some controllers once and repaired them when i was small and ever since ive had #a Desire to keep doing that #i stuck to writing instead #i cant wait to get on meds omg

[monster42069]

Getting a good hit of indica that’s a little stronger than vapes I had last time after I ran out of my indica is Hallelujah Praise The LORD and that kid with ADHD

#… #I need indica or antipsychotics both to function. an upper and a downer of some sorts. stimulate then depress. over and over again. daily. #TBH one of the dreams/goals that I still haven’t let myself let go of despite knowing the stats and likelihoods of the outcomes…. #well anyway one of those dreams is to somehow fix this. to meet a doctor who has a treatment plan or life change idea that works on the drug #dependency / the ‘maybe’ acquired brain injury issues. #the ‘is this idiopathic narcolepsy or is this ABI from drs or would you consider this probable narcolepsy from ABI from drs or?’ issues. #the ‘it’s harder to put together a clear understanding of your health overall’ comments followed by silence bc they don’t need to say it lol #it’s hard because no one has known what my health ‘should’ be like. know one has any labs without me on psychotropic medication combos. #they have partial proof from brain scans for the conclusion that my brain was just .fried to deal with me/make me easy and good. didn’t work #and they don’t even need proof to know that medication combos in their own profession shouldn’t be used together or are only used together #in extreme cases with no options left that they immediately fucking jumped into and were lucky I didn’t DIE so many times but fuck yeah #now my brain hurts and I’m not how I was beforehand but don’t rlly know why or how to express it #and I feel alone there and then I have bitch ass doctors telling me to Just Stop The Meds For A Fee Weeks :-)! …..Dr u have no idea huh do u #a few weeks? give me 3 days before I’m having a psychotic episode that’s severe enough to warrant police arrest or 911 called for me. #that’s thousands of dollars in a legal psychiatric hold. and that’s if someone catches the signs on time before I potentially harm myself or #like yeah no I’m sorry doc but i can’t just Simply Stop or Substitute anti-anxiety drugs when I’ve had them holding me together b4 puberty. #anyway I’m still. hoping I’ll find some info somewhere or stories and people like me who figured something out or anything idk #because my medical testing is interfered by medications that I cannot stop taking (mainly benzodiazepines) without losing my mind now. bad.

[toastsnaffler]

told my coworker I just started elden ring and he was like fuck me playing souls games is more stressful than a full time job I had to quit ER when I started this job so I could just chill out when I got home instead.... 💀

#I didnt even start the conversation he just remembered im into rogues/souls and was making small talk.. sweet guy #i think ive won his respect by being a souls fan 🫡 #ive only played a couple hours so far (and lets be real. most of that was in character creator) but its really fun ive been thinking abt #it at work all day.... the fights are challenging but actually not as difficult as i thought considering how much ppl complain #like it feels very fair + the fight patterns are easier to pick up than most rogue bosses tbh. im a little clumsy bc i dont play many #3d games but ill get the hang of it.. #also looooove the visuals + music. goes without saying tbh #i wanna make fanart of the character im playing as already teehee #if i get home and eat and shower relatively quickly i can probably play another 2 hours lets goooo #feeling so much more normal today i love mondays my best friend mondays. my period did start at work tho which suuucked #me titrating this substrate w a white knuckle grip on the pipette trying not to crumple in half over the bench and weep #ibuprofen does nothing for me..... i need to get some more cocodamol even if it does make me kinda drowsy #i dunno how im gonna survive periods when im back titrating meds again bc i cant take any nsaids... well. cross that bridge ig #anywaaay. bus was on time so should be home before 6 today woohoo #.diaries

[tardis--dreams]

The amount of energy and motivation my adhd meds give me these days is truly unmatched. Would be great if it lasted longer than 2 hours but i sure write a lot of stuff on my to do list when they kick in

#kill me #i was seriously so dedicated to reply to everyone I've been 'ignoring' for days #to clean my room #to write another cover letter #to finally get some pictures from my phone onto my computer and get some physical copies #to sew a button back on my jacket #and make a doctor's appointment (tomorrow) #well #i had to eat and walk the dogs before all that though #and then i felt like a corpse again #also probably won't call the doctor's office tomorrow then #(the meds are the extended release version and are supposed to work for 6-8 hours #what now #i can't take more #i could try adding the 10mg short acting tablets in the afternoon but i don't really think that'll do much #) #i should have stayed home instead of joining the walk. this way i could have used my energy to clean my room or reply to some people #idk #i hate everything lmao #(they also make me feel more social. i really get the urge to talk a lot and then everything crashes and i just wanna hide in my room again) #void screams

[majorshatterandhare]

I started a piece of art today which is based on some plant species* that I think would be good to colonize Tim in @gunpowder-tim’s headcanon of the Persephone Tim headcanon; so it’s art based on a headcanon of a headcanon of a headcanon 😅 [sweat simle emoji].

It’s gonna take a long time I think, but I am planning on posting it here even though it’s just gonna be plants and no Tim (because I am much better at drawing these little doodle plants than drawing people).

*so the art is basically of real species we have on Earth, but I maintain that they wouldn’t have the same plants on the City, so in my brain his plants are just similar to these ones.

#i don’t know if i should main tag this. thats always hard for me to tell #persephone tim #i am taking a break now because for some reason it took me almost 4 hours to paint some ghost pipe. #i am researching more species too. im looking at a lot of liverworts. but they are ‘obscure’ enougb thats its not always easy to find if- #they are parasitic or not. i know *some* species of liverwort are. and depending on how im able to draw them i might include non-parasitic- #species because i need the space filled a particular way #im also tired because i stayed up until after 6 am and then didn’t take my sleep meds (because it was 6 am) #oh there’s also gonns be some mushrooms included #ive explained it before but basically the fungus being an intermediary is a thing we see in real life (although not between plants and- #animals afaik) and it makes sense because fungi are closer related to animals than to plants. #now i suppose thats not necessarily true on the City. because we dont know if they are homo sapiens or not (this would make possible- #implications for the other life on the plant). however for now I have no hcs regarding that. its easiest to go with their life works the- #same as ours. but their species are different if for no other reason because of evolution (over time) #well thats whats easiest and most interesting and fun *to me* which i realize is because i am a biologist and happen to also crave as much- #scientific accuracy as possible. but thats not everyones cup of tea. not everyone wants to spend hours searching about different parasitic- #plants to choose one for this and learn about how they interact and what not. probably *most* people wouldnt think this hard about it. #and that’s okay too. if you like to make up your own plants whole cloth and not worry about it aligning with realy world biology. thats- #okay too. do what you like. #(unless you are a tv/movie/book/etc which is supposed to be set in our world on our earth. YOU CANT MAKE APE/WORM HYBRIDS! for crissakes) #hope its okay i tagged you gunpowder-tim #also sorry to everyone for how much i ramble in the tags. i have adhd and keeping 1 try of though is nigh on impossible #like this: nigh means near. so nigh on impossible is nearly impossible. but one way of defining nigh is approaching. then its approaching- #impossible. which makes me think of math. ‘as x approaches infinity;’ ‘as y approaches impossible’ #there have a little language and math too with your dose of spec bio explanation #(the ape/worm thing is a reference to an early x-files episode that i have complained about in tags before)

[arcaneyouth]

i think i have managed to trick everyone, including myself, into thinking im functional. because i can keep my art schedule really well. but everything else? a fucking disaster. but i sure can make a comic so im normal actually

#first my therapist tells me having a job probably should not be as hard as i think it is #now my parents telling me i dont do enough around the house (they are correct) #i keep finding myself with tasks to do and yelling and screaming about it and theyre the simplest fucking tasks actually #have i really been this dysfunctional the whole time???? #have i just convinced myself 1) im normal just cause im on meds 2) i also should not have to do anything ever??? #man. i fucking knew my ego would come for me some day. #well. guess its time to rearrange my schedule in my brain so i actually clean things up and help with the house #i cleaned up some trash today and filled up my pillbox. does that count for anything #it wasnt that hard i just didnt. know what else i could even do #maybe i can take over trash duty or something #i also have to consider the job thing some more but hhhnngng. baby steps there. baby steps. #i still have yet to even properly job search.

[torchickentacos]

Tmi after 2 am time but I’m on the third month of “are human bodies just kind of fucky and uteruses tend to do their monthly jobs tardy more than a truant high school senior, or am I the Virgin Mary reincarnated”

#period mention #kind of??? #ok bc it’s gone for whatever reason. right. whatever #but I also have nausea laying down #and I KNOWWWW it’s just probably undiagnosed Endo and acid reflux #thanks comorbidities #but like. part of my brain says. preganante. google says so #idk it’s 2 am I should just go to sleep #very funny that google tells me I’m pregnant and Spotify gives me birth control ads #like. google sees me searching basic multiplication problems and thinks I’m getting some #‘’oh she just looked up 9x7. nexplanon ad time’’ #nothing screams ‘I fuck’ like an inability to remember your times tables #/sarcastic #ok wait I’m also like. not on a solid meds schedule which may be fucking it up idk #can being bad about taking meds cause that???? probably idk #whatever. goodnight

[tj-crochets]

Hey y’all! Weird question time! What’s the difference between a muscle cramp, a muscle spasm, and a knot in a muscle? Like, what do they feel like when you experience them, how do you tell them apart*?  I’ve heard all three terms used (in addition to ones that I think are related but am unsure about like pulled muscle, strained muscle, overextended muscle) but I have no idea how to tell which one I am experiencing or how to differentiate between them, even though I’ve looked up definitions a few times over the years? The definitions were not helpful. It’s like acid reflux all over again (any time I asked doctors “how do you tell if you have acid reflux?” they’d just say “if you had it you’d know” without giving me any information to connect symptoms with a name) *my whole sodium georg thing means I am very prone to having my muscles hate me and have bad cramps and/or spasms if I don’t take enough electrolytes, but I suspect I am not using the correct words when describing them to doctors. Which is it when a small part of a muscle (like a 2″ ish patch of your thigh) starts twitching and keeps twitching for hours even if the muscle around it is totally still? 

#the person behind the yarn #medical mention #should I make a tag for questions like this? #like weird question time or something #I hate with medical things when I can look up the definition but it does absolutely nothing to connect it to how it feels to have the thing #like...thanks! now I know why it happens and what is technically happening #but what does it feel like??? #I have cardiac problems that are well under control and still alarm every single new doctor I go to #and no cardiologist ever thought to tell me that your heart beating irregular or skipping beats feels like a flutter in your chest #until I was like 'hey sometimes I get this weird flutter in my chest and then I can't help coughing but it doesn't feel like my lungs' #and he was like 'oh that's your heart skipping a beat and an involuntary cough to force it back into rhythm' #that's unrelated to the current question though lol #I'm having muscle...cramps? maybe? that suck #and I know I can make them better with a lot of water and electrolytes and some light stretching and time #but I am supposed to report the symptoms of electrolyte imbalance to my doctors and I am struggling with the vocabulary #oh for anyone new I am sodium georg because I have a probably-adrenal problem that means I process electrolytes Very Wrong #sodium most severely but also potassium and probably magnesiu #*magnesium. constantly low. I take meds for it and also salt pills

[sillysadduck]

Also forgot to add on to the long ass post about designs for dhmis,

Please actually listen to the therapist. Caffeine is a drug for a reason. Don't have to stop it all immediately but at least slow down and drink less of it over time

Okiee take care!

AWW THANKS FOR WORRYING ABOUT ME LOVE ASJFHDHFH BUT I'M GOOD I PROMISE!! 😭😭 just some shakiness and stuff, I'll survive ♡

#asks #coffee keeps me alive when I dont eat tbh #thats why I end up drinking so much everyday #recovering frommm some things still #should I just take my meds instead? probably

[palms-upturned]

Had to call in at work bc my head feels like there’s a railroad spike in it and I’m so nauseous I don’t think I’m gonna be able to keep my breakfast down if I move too much hellfire and war on the planet earth

#meg talks #im lucky that it’s p rare for me to get migraine attacks and when i do they’re p mild compared to a lot of ppl ik who get them #but man when they happen they suck so much ass. #i should probably see abt getting some kind of prescription strength med instead of just taking excedrin and crossing my fingers #but 🥲 i have a whole laundry list of shit i already need to see a doctor about #it’ll just have to wait in line…