#i should have dited this more but i was getting so sick of looking at it rip

[me-gongoga]

ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɪ ᴇᴠᴇʀ | ᴇᴅᴅɪᴇ ᴍᴜɴꜱᴏɴ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

Summary: back home in Hawkins for spring break, you get roped into a game of 'never have i ever' by your friends. but the night takes a turn when eddie accidentally stumbles upon a secret you've been keeping for months

Pairing: eddie munson x reader (gender neutral)

Word count: 4.2k

Tags: aged-up characters (early 20s). fluff/angst, friends to lovers, alcohol use/drug ref, happy ending, no use of y/n

It’s tradition. Every break from college, you head home to Hawkins and meet up with your old crew. Not everyone always makes it, but whatever rag-tag group gets scrounged together is usually more than enough. With graduation on the horizon, you’re happy to see anyone in Hawkins these days.

Tonight, it’s almost a full house, schedules and school breaks aligning. Seven of you are cramped around the old coffee table in Nancy’s basement, laughter abundant and drinks in hand.

Steve proposes ‘Never Have I Ever’ after getting absolutely tossed at darts three times in a row by Robin. And Nancy—three deep in the same room with two of her exes—more than hastily produces a handle of vodka to reward each round’s ‘winner’.

Jonathon and Steve sit at opposite ends of the table, while three girls pile onto the couch—Vickie getting sandwiched between Nancy and Robin. Across from them, you’re sunk happily into an old bean bag while Eddie sits beside you, already asserting he’ll be the champion of the game.

You snort at his proclamation and try to disguise it with a sip of your drink. Eddie catches you anyhow and delivers a swift shove to your shoulder that’s enough to slosh your beer. You glare at him as you wipe up the mess on your mouth, but Eddie only grins back and soon you find yourself smiling too.   

He’s the one person who makes you promises and always delivers.

Eddie picks you up from the train station every time you come home, your favorite from the Hawkins Diner in hand. And while you stuff your face, he regales you with the latest drama from his tattoo apprenticeship and shares weird anecdotes about the more questionable pieces he’s worked on. Sometimes you burn whole days of break just sitting in his trailer and catching up, cross-legged on the floor of his room while he aimlessly plucks chords on his guitar. And sure, you call him while away at school, but nothing compares to actually being at his side and seeing the crinkle in his eyes when he laughs at your jokes. It reignites the warmth that you work so hard to keep contained while away. A heat that’s burning in your chest as you sit beside him tonight.

The first couple rounds of the game are quick and dirty—everyone getting their bottom-of-the-barrel pulls out. The third round is where things actually start to pick up and the admittances get odd.

“You gotta be kidding me, Vickie,” Eddie exclaims, putting down another finger. “You’ve never smoked a cigarette?”

She only shrugs, freckles dotting her dimpled expression. "I don’t like tobacco. Weed on the other hand…”

“Cheers to that,” Jonathon says, raising his beer can.

Eddie hurriedly grabs his own to join.

“Everyone still in?” Robin checks, eyes darting across the group.

Eddie clicks his tongue, voice all too smug as he speaks. “Already down to two again.”

“Yeah, well I’m right there with ‘ya, Munson,” Steve counters, waving his peace-sign count at Eddie.

You settle nice and low in your bean bag, flaunting your index finger. “Better hurry it up, boys. I’m already at one. I can pretty much hear that room-temperature Smirnoff calling my name.”

“You guys know it’s not exactly impressive to win, right?” Robin asks, looking skeptically between the three of you.

Nancy shrugs and crosses her legs with a flourish. “Let them duke it out if they want. I’m still sitting pretty with four fingers.”

“Thanks for the reminder, Nancy,” you say with a nod. “Because, never have I ever, shot a gun.”

The curly-haired woman scowls at you, putting down a finger. “That was uncalled for.”

“Oh, I think it was called for,” Steve argues, down to a single finger now as well. “I mean really, Nance, you should probably put down your whole hand for that one.”

Nancy only waves him off and takes another sip of her drink.

“You’ve tied us all up,” Eddie says to you, a devilish grin spreading across his face. “Unfortunately, doesn’t look like I’ll get to win this round.”

“I don’t like where this is going,” Vickie mutters, her eyes narrowing at Eddie.  

“Never have I ever,” Eddie says, pausing to give the room a good, long look. “Kissed anyone who’s here tonight.”

And for an amazingly elongated moment, the room stills into a stunned silence—eyes wide and mouths agape. But when the discourse descends, you can only sit in shock.

At first, it’s just a rabble of frustration that breaks out—Eddie still looking smug as hell with himself in his old folding chair as Nancy shakes her head and Robin shares a pointed look with Vickie. But then Steve’s voice cuts above the din, everyone else falling in line.

“He still doesn’t know?” The brunette asks, looking directly at you. “I thought you were going to tell him!”

“What the hell are you on about, Harrington?” Eddie complains, eyes darting between you and Steve. 

Jonathon groans and runs his hands over his face. “This is painful.”   

“I told you he just didn’t remember,” Robin whisper-yells all-too-loudly from the couch as she waggles her eyebrows in your direction. “I told you!”

Eddie shakes his head, looking incredulously around the table, before settling back on you. “Remember what? What the fuck are we talking about?”

You’d give anything in this instant for the bean bag to suck you up whole and eject you into nothingness. Hell, you’d even stick it out in the Upside Down if it meant you could avoid this conversation. There’s a reason you haven’t brought it up before. Of course, you’ve thought about it—tried even, to tell Eddie. But that was easier said than done. And now your own cowardice had backed you into a corner.

“We made out on New Year’s Eve,” you spit out, before anyone else can describe it more… creatively.

Eddie’s face goes pale, dark eyes blinking down at you. “W-what? No we didn’t. Why would we—"

“Dude, we all saw it,” Steve cuts in, running a hand through his hair. “You had your tongue shoved so far down their throat that even I was impressed.”

“Gross, Steve,” Robin and Nancy chide in unison.

“What? We were all thinking it!”

You clear your throat. “You were blackout, Eddie. I mean, we were all sloshed.”

He looks at you, mouth agape as his eyes trail down to your lips. The beer can in his hand crinkles under his grip as you see his Adam’s apple bob against his throat.

You still remember Eddie’s lips colliding against your own—the memory locked away in your mind like an a painting in a vault. Midnight. It was dim lights and streamers and loud music and unbridled joy and warmth and happiness. It was Eddie picking you up and swinging you around, pinning you up against a wall, and kissing you like his life depended on it. It was you holding onto him with all the fervor you’d bottled up since high school and giggling like a teenager as he whispered things in your ear.

Like all beautiful moments—it was fleeting. An hour later, you were holding back his hair in the bathroom as he threw up every Jell-O shot Nance had handed him. And, when you woke up beside each other on the floor of Steve’s living room the next day, Eddie didn’t even remember the clock striking 12. No, he didn’t remember any of it at all.

Or maybe—just maybe—he didn’t want to.

And that was not something you could handle confronting.

So, you asked the others to drop it—to pretend it didn’t happen. Told them you’d take care of it eventually. Took the photo Jonathon developed of you two and buried it in a box in your bedroom.

You wonder what exactly Eddie sees as he looks at you now. Disappointment? Disgust? You tear your gaze away with a nervous smile, not wanting to dive any deeper.

“Welp, guess, we’re gonna need more glasses,” Nancy thankfully announces, digging herself out of the couch and skuttling over to an old cupboard.

“Are we counting that? Really?” Jonathon complains.

“I mean, why not?” Robin asks with a shrug. “Guy clearly doesn’t remember kissing this hottie, so he’s not exactly lying. I say his bad memory earns him and everyone else a reward from the Wheeler’s liquor cabinet.”

Steve laughs at that, leaning over to slap Eddie on the thigh. “Looks like you get to ‘win’ after all, Munson.”  

“Shit,” Eddie finally mumbles, still sounding a bit dumbstruck. “Guess it’s only fair.”  

Nancy dumps an eclectic collection of glasses on the table, quickly pouring alcohol into each one and handing them out.

“Here, here,” Eddie says, raising his shot to the other ‘winners’. “To making out with your friends.”

You raise your own, catching his eyes again as you clink glasses. “Here, here.”

And then, like a weight off your chest, the night just… keeps going. More drinks, more games, more laughter. And Eddie—seemingly—isn’t even acting differently towards you. Things are normal. And normal is good.

Eventually, the evening starts to draw to a close. Vickie and Robin are passed out, tangled together on the couch, while Nancy sits on the floor between Steve and Jonathon—the beginnings of what has to be a ‘will they, won’t they’ saga playing out.

When you announce your departure, Eddie is quick to join you.

The cool night air feels good in your lungs after sitting for so long in a musty basement. Eddie marches past you down the driveway, taking a dramatic stretch and revealing a dark trail of hair down his midriff. You avert your eyes, trying to take casual interest in the gardening equipment scattered in the lawn.

“So,” he begins. “Did you still wanna come over? Watch a movie or something?”

You rattle the backpack slung over your shoulder; polyester material plastered with patches he’s given you over the years. “Didn’t bring a bag for nothing, Eds.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright,” Eddie mutters as you approach him, all too casually snatching the backpack from you. “Let’s go, smart ass.”

You smile and begin the tipsy trek towards Eddie’s trailer. He pulls out his cigarettes, offering them to you first as he always does.

You click your tongue and slip one from the pack. “Vickie would be appalled.”

Eddie chuckles, closing the gap between the two of you to lend a light, his hand cupping the flame in the breeze. You’ve always found him handsome, but when he’s up close and personal like this, fire in his eyes, it feels like you could drown in his good looks, and it would be a welcome death.

“Thanks,” you murmur, taking a long drag, as he pulls away.

“You got it,” Eddie mutters through his teeth, lighting his own.

The two of you walk in comfortable silence down the usual route, enjoying the soft crunch of concrete and gravel beneath your boots. Even with the full moon hanging overhead in a clear night sky, you’re thankful not to be stumbling home alone in the dark. Since experiencing the Upside Down together, Eddie always went out of his way to get you home safe or offer you a place to stay. At first you thought maybe it was just safety in solidarity. But now it was familiar. Comforting.

“So,” he says, voice raspy and sudden. “Can we talk about the five-ton Oliphaunt in the room?”

You swallow hard and decide to play dumb. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe the fact that we, uh,” Eddie clears his throat. “Kissed, and I don’t even remember?”  

You chuckle, trying to ease the tension in his voice despite your own discomfort. “Sure, if you want. But there’s not much else to say. We were just trashed.”

“Yeah, but how did we even get there? Us?” He says motioning between the two of you. “I mean, come on, we’re— we’re just—"

“Friends,” you say, finishing the sentiment for him, the word bitter on your tongue.

“Right,” he mutters back, smoke billowing from pursed lips.

“I dunno,” you admit honestly. “Too much to drink, probably. Besides, Eddie, if I had known how gone you were, I wouldn’t have agreed to it.”

“Agreed?” Eddie says, attention piqued. “So, what—I asked you to kiss me? And you said yes?”

You chew your lip, shoving your hands into the too-tight pockets of your worn-out jeans. “I mean, it was New Years, y’know? You probably just wanted someone to kiss at midnight. Everyone does it.”

Eddie scoffs. “Right, because if there’s one thing about me, it’s that I love to follow the crowd.”

You only shrug, clueless on how to respond when you barely have answers yourself.  

Silence falls between the two of you, relief slumping into your shoulders as Eddie’s barrage of questions seems to subside. You kick yourself for admitting you chose to kiss him—but at least it wasn’t entirely strange.

You and Eddie had admitted to finding each other attractive on more than one occasion in the past. Why deny such obvious truths? You had both simply agreed that you were most definitely not romantically compatible.

Though you never hashed out the details on why that was.

“So,” Eddie grumbles, voice like sand paper in the quiet. “Was it bad or something then?”

“Huh?”

“The kiss, idiot,” he says, swinging the bag into your shoulder. “Is that why you never told me about it?”

You shake your head, heart palpitating at the memory of Eddie pressed against you. “No, nothing like that.”

“Then why hide it from me?” Eddie asks, rasp edging into his voice again. You can feel his dark eyes on your profile. “Seems like you went through a lot of effort to keep it under wraps.”

His words sound almost accusatory. Suddenly you’re scrambling for something to offer him—anything other than the truth, really.

You drop your cigarette and stomp it out, watching as the bud smolders to nothing on the ground. “I didn’t want to embarrass you.”

It takes a second, but laughter erupts from his chest, carrying into the night with an ominous echo. “Right, like you’d ever pass up the chance to hold something over my head.”

That’s true enough—it was part of how your friendship operated. One time he admitted to having a wet dream about the bartender at the Hideout, and you had used it to blackmail him into free drinks for half a year. Eddie gave as good as he got, of course. He knew you had used the Arcade’s backroom to hook up with more than a few people—some more questionable than others—and he had Keith on speed dial should you ever not supply him with free tokens during his visits. All of that was good fun. Platonic.

But New Year’s Eve… the kiss… that mean too much to you just to be played as a gag.

Exasperation grips your voice. “I don’t know what to tell you.”

You really don’t. And maybe Eddie senses that because he doesn’t respond.

It’s quiet as you pace on together, only the soft buzz of Hawkins’ electrical lines filling the empty void, unsettling and cerebral in your ears. It almost makes your body itch.

You’re thankful when Eddie speaks again, even if his tone is surprisingly somber.

“I think I get it.”

Your heart sinks into the depths of your chest. “You… get it?”

You watch the mass of brunette curls bob as he nods slowly.  “You’re ashamed that you made out with me, right?”

His voice is so serious it ties your stomach in knots and stops you in your tracks. He was so painfully, awfully wrong.

“I mean, I can’t say I blame you,” he continues. “Poor, directionless, loser that I am. Just good-for-nothing Eddie Munson. Who would wanna be caught dead kissing me?”

“Don’t say that,” you hiss at him, hands balling into fists. “It’s not true. Not fucking true at all.”

He pauses his stride and turns, chest rising and falling steadily as he stares at you in the night. “I’m just kidding.”

“Are you?”

Eddie runs both hands through his hair and shakes his head before flicking his cig to the ground. “Forget I said anything, okay? Let’s just hurry up and get back to my place.”

“No,” you reply, marching up and attempting to rend your bag from his shoulder. “I’m going home.”

But he only tightens his grip on your backpack, eyes meeting as you pull against him. “Please don’t.”

You scowl at him and give the bag another strong tug.

“I’m sorry, okay?” Eddie stutters, grabbing your wrist. “Now will you please stop trying to rip my shoulder off?”

You want to bottle up the frustration and anger at his careless words and hurl it back at him. But the stubble on his jaw, the scent of his aftershave, the look in his eyes—it’s too intoxicating. Whether he’s acting insufferable or not.

“Fine.” You let go of the bag and Eddie releases his grip in turn though the heat of his hand lingers unwarrantedly on your skin.

You’re supposed to move—supposed keep stomping back to his trailer. But instead, you just find yourself tethered to the asphalt, unable to tear yourself away.

Eddie stares back at you, still and expectant in the night.

Then words are tumbling so quickly from your lips, you hardly hear yourself speak.

“I was too scared.”

He blinks at you, dark eyelashes fluttering beneath loose curls. “Scared?”

“That’s why I never brought it up, Eddie,” you mutter, heart pounding in your ears. “I thought maybe you did remember kissing me and just... didn’t want to.”

His eyes widen, plush lips parting. “Why would I ever want to forget that?”

You shrug, boozy uncertainty welling in your eyes despite your efforts to fight it off. “Because it was me, Eddie. It was me, and not some hot bombshell you could brag about making out with. It was just me. And I’m—” 

“Perfect?”

Your face scrunches at the word. “Don’t make fun of me.”

But he seems to only find humor in your disgruntled expression, his face alit with laughter in the dark. “For someone so smart, you really are damn dense sometimes.”

Before you can protest his comment, Eddie’s pulling you against his chest, your face colliding with the denim of his jacket, musky scent of cologne and shampoo flooding any sense of reasonable thought from your mind. Strong arms slide over your shoulders and snake around your neck as you feel him rest his head atop your own.

“What I said earlier—I’m scared too.” Eddie confesses, a rasp to his voice. “Scared that once you graduate from that fancy-pants college, you’ll get some cool big-kid job that’ll take you far away from Indiana and you’ll forget all about little shithole Hawkins. And... forget about me.”

His admission hits you like a bolt of lightning.

Eddie is the only consistent in your life. Rain or shine, hell or highwater—he’s always there. So how could he think himself anything close to a footnote in your story?

“Never,” you mumble, relaxing into Eddie’s chest. You wrap your arms snug around his waist, trying to impart every bit of your heart with one embrace. “How could I ever forget such a sloppy kisser?”

Eddie cackles unexpectedly, his chest reverberating pitched tones against your head. “Oh, come on. You’ve gotta give me another shot.”

Your heart flutters at his words. “Yeah?”

He relaxes his grip, creating just enough space to greet you with his deep, chocolate eyes. The corners of his mouth twitch into a smile as he stares down at you. “I mean, I can’t say I’m totally sober, and it’s not New Years, so I really have no excuse…”

“But?”

“But,” he repeats back. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wanna kiss you right now.”

Your eyes wander to his lips—the very same that you’ve fantasized about so frequently and experienced only once. And now, standing under the flickering, orange streetlamps of Hawkins, he was offering them to you again.

“You’re sure?” You ask.

Eddie nods. “Listen, I don’t know what exactly got into me that night—”

“Wheeler’s Jell-O shots.”  

He cringes at the word, sticking out his tongue in mock disgust. “Ugh, that’s right. I still can’t even look at anything close to Jell-O.”

You giggle at his perturbed expression. “I know. You nearly fainted when Dustin made us fight a gelatinous cube in that one-shot yesterday.”

He shakes out his head like a wet dog, wringing more laughter from your chest.

“What I was trying to say—before you so rudely reminded me of my gelatin-aversion,” Eddie says with a pointed glance. “Is that I’m glad that some part of me worked up the nerve to do what I’ve spent years contemplating.”  

“You mean throwing up in Steve’s pool?”

“Okay, come on,” Eddie complains, rolling his eyes. “I’m trying to do this whole, romantic-ish situation here and you are just fucking t-boning it at every turn.” 

You’re smiling like a maniac now, starry-eyed and hopeful. “Sorry, sorry—go ahead.”

But Eddie just shakes his head, planting a warm, calloused hand under your jaw. “Nope. I’m just gonna kiss you before you say anything else to ruin it.”

And though you try to retort one final time, Eddie’s reflexes are too fast for you to counter. In a split-second, his mouth is pressed up against your own. He pulls you flush against his hips, encouraging collision as your fingers wind through his hair. His lips are as soft as you remember, but this time they seem intent on savoring every inch of your flesh, dangerously disarming as they elicit moans from your throat.

Your sounds only entice him further. He nibbles at your lower lip and hums with satisfaction as your mouth parts for him, vodka and tobacco crashing across your tongue as he eagerly explores you. The taste of him conceives a delirium in your mind like no drug you’ve ever consumed, thoughts drifting away one by one. He’s warm and perfect and good—so fucking good.

There’s purpose as Eddie holds you—kisses you­­—for the first real time. The happiness is overwhelming, tears threatening to spill from your eyes as Eddie brands you with the heat of each kiss. Your knees quiver under the elation, all of it nearly too much to handle.

As if sensing your imminent collapse, Eddie lifts you up into his arms, your legs wrapping naturally around his waist. You squeal out of sheer surprise, his lips curving into a smile against your own. He gives you a gentle spin to provoke more laughter-hiccupped kisses, his mouth trailing to your jaw and down your neck, his stubble tickling your skin with each peck.

You open your eyes as he starts to slow, watching him intently as he draws back, hunger still hanging in his eyes. He carefully returns you to the ground.

For a moment, you just stare at each other in silence, the buzz of the power cables now but a peaceful ambiance.

“Shit,” is all he manages to say, lips still plump from your attention. His arms are immovably hooked onto your hips.

“That bad?” You tease, struggling to catch your breath, heat still consuming your chest.

Eddie shakes his head, disheveled hair bouncing as he beams at you. “Seriously not sure how I could ever forget something like that. Wow, babe.”

“Yeah well,” you mutter, thoughts dazed by his affectionate words. “Don’t jinx it. I… can’t handle going through that again.”  

Eddie’s expression falters as he studies you, brow creasing. “I’m sorry. God, if I had remembered—well, I would have done a lot of stuff different.”

“I should have just told you—I should have known that you wouldn’t… it doesn’t matter. I’m just glad we’re here now.”

“Tell me about it,” he says, squeezing your waist.

“You better remember in the morning this time, Eds,” you threaten, poking him in the chest.

Eddie smiles and drops dramatically to one knee, crossing an arm over his chest with all the ceremony of a squire about to be knighted at the Ren Faire. He clears his throat before reciting what seems like a well-rehearsed proclamation.  “I, Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson, hereby pledge that from this moment forward, I will never—fucking ever—forget anything when it comes to us. So help me, Lolth.”

In return, you raise your arms up to the sky. “Praise be to our Demon Queen of the Abyss!”

Eddie laughs and stands back up, grabbing you by the waist and spinning you around once more. “God, I fucking love you.”  

“Yeah?” You ask, starry-eyed in his arms.

He nods, folding ring-adorned fingers around your hand and planting a kiss just inside your wrist. “Yeah. And you?”

You smile at him. “Never have I ever loved anyone more than you, Eddie Munson.”

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson x gender neutral reader #gender neutral y/n #stranger things fix it #eddie munson #eddie my beloved #stranger things #stranger things 4 #st4 #joseph quinn #eddie munson fluff #dungeons and dragons #i should have dited this more but i was getting so sick of looking at it rip

[venusorbits]

WATCHING NOW...

uploaded on 2011 February

──── GET TO KNOW 아프로디테 - THE INTERVIEW

"Hi, everyone, 아프로디테 here. I am here with Wall Street Journal. Today, you will be getting to know me better." Clasping your hand together swaying back and forth on a swivel chair, "There are a lot of mysteries surrounding me right now and I will be letting you know about that. Let's go!"

'WHO ARE YOU?'

Laughing lightly licking your bottom lip. Keeping a bright grin on your face.

"Well-" You start, "I go by 아프로디테 but you can call me DITE, it's much more convenient than calling me Aphrodite all the time. But, my real name is Sage Park, I was born on January 1st of '96 in London, which makes me currently 15 years of age currently. I am an idol under YG Entertainment that I trained under for a year."

'WHAT DO YOU MEAN TRAINED FOR?'

"It's quite a typical process for a K-pop idol to be preparing, train in dancing, singing among other things before being introduced to the world... It's all a part of the process."

Waving your hand around as you explain.

"You can audition or you will be asked to audition for them. I was asked to audition for YG."

'CAN WE TALK ABOUT YOUR DEBUT ALBUM?'

"Sure." You agreed, gratefully taking it from a staff member's hand that popped into frame and mumbling a small 'thank you' under your breath.

"I debuted not too long ago, to be more specific, on January 16th with my album 'MEAN!'"

You held up a CD copy of your album to the camera.

"Go check that out if you want." You shrugged, "I was heavily inspired by the Canadian artist, as many of you know her by, Avril Lavinge. I wanted a pop and pop-rock elements in my music."

You look at the copy in your hand.

"I also wanted some crazy, bright-colored hair for my music videos. Play the electric guitar. Just a lot of early 2000s-esque homage. I can play the guitar so I want live music in all my performances." Nodding, "I'm trying to learn the drums to complete the set of pop-rock."

You chuckled mostly to yourself.

"As you can tell, I love pop-rock music. Although, this doesn't mean that I will be sticking only to one genre. I will be exploring other ones as well."

You point at the camera reassuringly.

"The album has elements of piano and acoustic guitar by yours truly. It discusses love through my lens and my understanding as a teenager. I have never experienced a serious relationship so, you'll get to view it as somewhat naive, immature, ignorance and in a love sick, puppy love perspective... I'd say."

You were rather impressed and satisfied with yourself with how cohesive your thoughts and explanation were in the aims and concept of your album. Rather than feeling jittery, your mind was clear, you were extremely comfortable with being in front of the camera.

'HOW DID YOU GET INTO THIS INDUSTRY AND WHY DID YOU WANT TO BECOME A PART OF IT?"

"How did I get into this industry?" You repeat, "Well, as I mentioned before, I was invited to YG to audition. But, if we're going back to where I started-"

Clasping your hand together,

"I moved to South Korea when I was about 10 years old. I could not speak a lick of Korean at all but over time... I learned. At that time, I knew... Well- I wasn't incredible at it but I knew how to play the piano and the guitar."

"I sang the song, "Heavy in your Arms" by Florence + The Machine while playing the electric guitar that my mum bought me for a Christmas present right around when I was 12."

You smirk,

"I'm sure she's very elated now that I'm out of the house. Her ears get a break from the strumming everyday."

"Soon, I had a call saying that I passed the audition and my training period will start soon. I started training... One day, I was pulled aside midst my training." You shift your sitting position, "I felt my heart just jump up to my throat and I was holding my breath."

"Then, I heard, "You're going to debut soon"" You let a sigh of relief as if you were reliving the moment with a little chuckle, "I felt like the whole world just lift off my shoulders."

"In terms of, why I want to be a part of the music industry?... That grew onto something to becoming its own thing. I love music. I want this as a job."

'WHAT MAKES YOU PASSIONATE ABOUT MUSIC?'

"I grew up watching Musicals. I even have DVD copies of it at home too of all my favourite ones. And before you ask," You put your hand up, "Yes, I do have my favourites."

"I love Chicago, Phantom of the Opera, Wicked and Lion King... You know what, I'll put Hamilton there too. I love the concept of bringing story telling and music together."

"Writing a compelling and memorable album can be similar in a way... More added different obvious layers of complication between the two writing story and song writing obviously. Different needs."

"Song writing... Is more compact and there's a catchy tune to it which makes it more memorable... Music builds a different atmosphere too that books can't replicate. Same goes for books too since we picture things differently in our head."

"It's just... So amazing." You finish.

'YOU WROTE YOUR WHOLE ALBUM. WHAT ARE YOUR ADVICE TO PEOPLE WHO WANT TO DABBLE IN SONGWRITING?'

"I think..." You drag your words, "This isn't a good question for me."

Grinning.

"My song writing skills aren't up there yet. I mean, it's good, for me to put out that album but, I wouldn't take a advice from me when I'm still navigating." You add, "But, if I have to give an advice, I'd say. Go ahead and have a go."

"Regardless if you think, it's terrible. Just write and take advice from people around you. Always look for ways to improve. Improving is key."

You smile at the fond memory.

"There are so many lyrics I gave my producer to be approve of but, he read them and said 'Revise them.' It took me weeks to get the green light." You gave an encouraging nod, "Songwriting is not easy journey. Don't put a unrealistic expectation on yourself and going to compare yourself to other artist. You are not born with this skill. You develop it."

'YOU ARE CREDITED AS A CO-PRODUCER OF YOUR ALBUM 'MEAN!', WILL YOU BE COMING OUT WITH ALBUM, SOLELY PRODUCED BY YOU?'

"Well-" You smirked, "We'll see."

'WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO GO TOWARDS THE DIRECTION OF WRITING YOUR DEBUT ALBUM?'

"I want a pop-rock album. Simple as that."

"I kind of wanted to stray away from the EDM type of music that's quite trendy nowadays and focus on rocky-ish type of music. I also wanted to play music live."

'CAN YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR FAVOURITE GUITARS?'

"Sure." The video cuts to your collection of electric guitars on their stands all varying in colours and brands, where it was conveniently taped off.

"These are my collection, I have 4 in total; these are the brands I frequently check out and consider buying from... That I cannot mention." You look over to the camera cheekily over to your manager, "K-pop idol issues."

"I like the brands. I think they're good but... I have my issues with them like the tuning stability issues I have with this pink one." You point at the nearest to you, "From my research, it has something to do with the metals they use."

"If this is your brand... You might want to fix that."

You pick up one of them, one covered that has a white body decorated and littered with all kinds of stickers.

"This is my baby. My favourite of them all. My first guitar."

You glare at the camera.

"But, whoever recommended my mum this as a beginner guitar. I hope you don't sleep well at night." You warned earning a chorus of laughter from the staff behind the camera, "This was a struggle to figure out and not beginner friendly."

"This-" You point, "Is a floating trem complicated for baby DITE. Then was later told... This shouldn't have been recommended to me. It was pure hell and pain."

"Guitar enthusiast. If you recognise this, comment it down below because I can't mention it... No go for beginners... It almost made me quite the guitar."

'WHAT WAS THE FIRST SONG YOU LEARNED TO PLAY?'

"Twinkle, twinkle little star." You answered deadpanned causing everyone to once again erupt into laughter.

'WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES BESIDE MUSIC?'

"I don't know. My personality only revolves around music." You teased, "I'm kidding. I love cooking, reading and video games."

"I love video games. My manager does not like the fact that I love it because I stay up all night playing games and she can't wake up."

You bowed onto a perfect 90 degree angle,

'WHO DO YOU ENJOY LISTENING TO?'

"I'm sorry, Mira but you can't separate me and my one love, video games."

"I enjoy a lot of genres and a variety of artist. I do love some Taylor Swift, Lana Del Rey, IU, 2NE1, Florence + The Machine, Aaliyah, Avril Lavinge, Amy Winehouse, Whitney Houston... I have a lot more but... I can't think off the top of my head."

"I listen to a lot of Female Artist as you can tell."

'WOULD YOU SAY THAT ALL THESE ARTIST HAVE HAD AN IMPACT ON YOUR ARTISTIC CREATIVITY?'

"Definitely." You didn't miss a beat,"I feel they had a lot of impact on how I approach music. A lot of their music style reflects my own but, I still put my own spin on it."

"That about wraps up my interview with Wall Street Journal. Thank you for joining me. Bye!" You blow a kiss before waving off.

#idol reader #kpop soloist reader #kpop idol reader #x kpop soloist reader #x idol reader #x kpop idol reader

[withlovefromolympus]

❣️ linking it as well

finally doing this for Heph and Dite <3

they’re the most important but I wanted to make sure everyone else was done first. this is more for me than anyone else so lol

Who is the little spoon?

Aphrodite!! She takes forever to get comfortable, and when she’s done shuffling around and has situated the blankets so that she’s hogging them, she’ll raise her arm and say “I’m ready!” She has their room’s AC cranked up or else she overheats

Who sings in the shower?

Aphrodite, and Heph will often sit on their bed, close his eyes, and create something small on the spot with just his hands, letting her voice guide his hands to create something pretty :) have I mentioned that she’s his biggest muse??

Who plays pranks on the other?

It’s mostly Aphrodite. She loves the look of surprise on his face, and she can’t stop from giggling aka letting it slip that she’s the one who pranked him. He’ll joke around, and that’s his way of making her shocked

Who is the one who listens to pop music?

Aphrodite, and Heph doesn’t have the heart to tell her that her blasting pop music in his forge is incredibly distracting. He doesn’t care that it is anyways, because he’ll let anything slide if it makes her smile. He’s good enough at his skill that it’s not that serious of a distraction

Who brings the other a random cup of joe?

Neither of them, but Heph is very good at warming the coffee she’s working on. He’ll pick up her mug and, as god of fire — one of the first sources of heat to exist —, transfer heat from the universe into the liquid

Who picks the cheesy movies for date night?

Aphrodite, and Heph likes to watch her more than the movie. He’ll watch her quote Clueless or Mamma Mia and mentally not if there’s anything small from the movie that he can make her. She’s told him that her favorite click flick is 13 Going on 30 because “it kind of reminds me of us :)”

Who is more likely to feed the other in public?

Aphrodite because “I need you to eat more, Heph!” “I’m not scrawny, you know.” “Did I say you were? I never see you eat. Now, try this!” But he’s gotten bolder and has offered forkfuls of his food to her <3

Who gives the other random little compliments?

Heph will let little compliments about her ideas slip out all the time, but Aph never fails to shower him with compliments about his work, which he gets often from other gods, but from her it’s extra special

Who is always stealing food from the other’s plate?

Despite her claims that he needs to eat more, Aphrodite will randomly take a single piece of his food so casually, without breaking eye contact or conversation, you’d think it was hers

Who is more likely to let the other borrow their car? 

Both. Aphrodite doesn’t care if he takes her convertible because she knows if anything happens to it, he’ll bring it back better than how he took it. He doesn’t care if she takes his truck but gets worried that it’s too big and bulky for her to drive

Who makes the list before they go grocery shopping?

Neither. They grocery shop together to bond — weird, but it’s the little things for them, you know? — and Aph will ride in the cart and point to what they need and Heph will grab it off the shelves

Who makes sure the other takes their meds when sick?

Aphrodite. She worries for him because he already barely eats or sleeps as much as he should, so she told him to either “make an automan that’s timed to bring you medicine, or I’m going to hover!” He makes no such thing, selfishly.

Who watches sports and has to teach the other the rules?

Neither are sports fans. In fact, when they started hanging out, they’d watch sports for fun and try to figure out the rules of the games together

Who pulls the other to their feet for a dance in the living room?

Aphrodite. “Dite, I don’t dance!” he protests, motioning to his leg, and she shushes him and they slow dance/sway to slow love songs :’)

Who has to keep reminding the other to hurry or they’ll be late?

Hephaestus loves to watch aphrodite get ready — he knows nothing about makeup and has a lot of questions since doing makeup is technically an art/craft — that he loses track of time too and then boom, they’re both late and the others tease them. “Were you busy making out again?” And so Heph burns red, but Aph shrugs. “So what if we were?”

Who is the one most likely to get a tattoo with the other’s name?

Neither. They have their charm bracelets that they wear all the time instead, and Heph eventually makes her a new wedding ring that she wears more often than anyone thought she would

#greek mythology #greek gods #hephaestus and aphrodite #they deserve this

[throwaninkpot]

RotT reactions part 2!

costis, what are you doing here, shouldn't you be in roa? shouldn't you be with kamet? costis, where's kamet? what happened to him? tell me!

"who really owns anything?" eugenides, you utter meme.

if tattoos a custom in eddis, does. .....does helen have tattoos? oh my word, please tell me helen has tattoos, she would look so cool.

so, so, so, horrible invasion, giant army, logistics of war. it's very terrible and interesting, but where kamet? where my boy? is he okay? costis just LEFT him behind, bc he had to get word back to attolia, I don't blame him, I love him. but is kamet okay????????????????????

rip to all the cottage fic people probably wrote about the two having a chill time in roa. (idk, I haven't checked.) megan said we can't have nice things.

"find yourselves another king" uhhhhhhh, gen?

gen said no more king, now only Thief and Hot Consort To The Sexy Queen.

awww, sophos gave him a book of poetry for his birthday. I love sophos.

"attolia says she leaves with you" *spends several long minutes clutching at my chest repeatedly as I am Overwhelmed*

you know the quote in koa about a careful dance of shafow and unsubstance but under it all, a real marriage of two people? that's literally this. the queen is surely calculated her possible responses to gen, amd this is either a Pointed Message to gen or to the barons, and I'm still not sure what gen is up to actually, but also. she loves him, guys. they're in love. "she leaves with you". they're in love.

"I asked her to leave with me on our wedding night" of course he did.

"except me, I can do anything I want" :'D

they're too soft. I cannot.

go, costis! save your boy!

..........is this where I formally apologize for rolling my eyes back in 2016 when people shipped teleus/relius? I genuinely did not see this coming.

megan said okay, we've been on our best behavior, it's been 25 years, she will sprinkle in a little canon queerness. and then upended a flour sack of it on us.

"he had to bend to keep his lips on hers until she reached the ground" they're too cute, this is illegal.

oh, now THAT'S some soap opera level nonsense. how awkward was it for gen and helen knowing his father was a spurned lover of her mother

sometimes soldiers. I am eating this stuff up.

they get no apology. h*ck the pents. maybe they should have chosen an ambassador that didn't force himself upon women.

"where sounis's father positively beamed with approval at his son, eddis's minister of war glowered. the high king, slumped in his seat, catching his father's glare, slumped even further." it be like that.

ten to one. oof, oof, oof.

okay, the solution is, one of gen's sisters should beat up cleon and therespides.

gen. you were the one paying him. I don't know why I'm ever surprised by the tangled schemes you wrap yourself up in.

every scene that the four monarchs are together, just having a good time and loving each other and sounding so much like the young people they are, every time, it makes me happy.

the fandom tried to figure out at what age boys left the dorms in Eddis, didn't we? I think we settled on 12 or 13. gen killed someone before he was 13. hachi machi.

he called him "my brother sounis". awww.

"without cheating" is that what we're calling godly visits now

eugenides will give me a heart attack, I swear.

they call it return of the thief bc this is the most like himself gen has acted since the crenellations in KoA.

(fitting that this is the book with a neuroduvergent pov, bc I have never happy stimmed more in my life than during the chase scene.)

when he starts windmilling, now I am afraid. oh please, megan, don't let him be hurt.

thank the gods.

helen wearing an eddisian uniform. heck yeah! gnc helen rights continue!

"it was the last lighthearted moment for a long time" :(

they're leaving the city, and I'm suddenly remember the comment from back in book of pheris 1 about an attack by a tomb. am afraid.

it's loving the magus o' clock. he treats pheris so well.

irenides baby......2!!!!

"I don't understand" you and me both, sophos.

"I think they have to show their worst selves sometimes in order to be sure that even at their worst they are loved" I need a minute.

I love tactics and logistics, but I wish I could picture this my head. the map doesn't actually help me figure out where the forces are in perspective.

megan really wasn't exaggerating when she said eugenides's first reaction to seeing an elephant is "I want to steal one."

"he muscled up his other arm and said he would destroy the Medes single-handed" these books are giving me a stroke. megan, that pun was beautiful.

"I have found Kamet!" I'm going to be sick. he had better be okay. he was supposed to be free of nahuseresh.

nasty man had better be lying. my kamet had better be okay.

oh, costis. okay, okay, alright.

why is cleon's death so sombering. I think it's bc I just reread "Thief!", and met him as a teenager in that. I think it's bc it says he's one of three cousins that died that day, and gen already lost so many cousins during the war in QoA. I loved the country of eddis when I was first reading these books and forever after that, bc it's so full. there's a very communal child-rearing system and gen has these packs of cousins, even if most of them spent their childhood bullying him, I loved the idea of having so much family around you. he's running out of family.

oh. I went back to reading from writing that, and. stenides. oh.

I said I wanted gen's siblings, but not like this.

well, here's some cairns. presumably the tombs pheris's foreshadowed earlier. here we go, something bad is going to happen.

Something Bad Happened.

oh, no, Hilarion. D:

*tiffany haddish voice* NOMENUS??? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS. I PUT YOU ON MY BINGO.

the man at the cairn. the god on the battlefield that megan referenced? but eugenides called him a dead man. so not a god. so, did he recognize him as someone he knew to be dead?

"my cousins know not to trust my tears" once again, gen's hail mary is the fact he's a little snipe.

he says he needs a heavier rain, and the gods deliver.

f in chat for nomenus. he was a snake, but still.

"and by my oath to my god, now and for my life, Thief of Eddis." YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, Philo. :(

rip to Legarus and his Awesome Beauty.

they want to kill gen in The Thief? eddis's council wanted to kill him? I'm reeling from all the backstory this book is revealing.

not quite how I had the apotheosis pictured, and yet. *sufjan steven's ascension plays in the background*

"I say it three times, Fordad. It will be so. It will be so. It will be so." holy heck.

someone get in here and analyze that for biblical symbolism.

HE CALLED DOWN LIGHTNING. HOLY

narration only calls him eugenides in that scene with the lightning. significant.

"feeling the tremor in it, he opened his arms to catch the king as he fell." he has fallen and been caught by his god and fallen and been caught by his dad.

I think we'll call the interregnum an interlude into the underworld, if not a journey into.

oh, gods, relius.

for a former spymaster, he sure trusted too easily.

he could have had his farm in the gede valley, but he stayed to help irene and gen. oh, relius, relius.

sejanus has a saving grace afterall.

dite and sejanus protecting each other, and pretending to hate each other so that sejanus at least can be on good terms with their father, that all clicks into place when you know about their older brother who they probably loved just as much.

crying crying crying over Sejanus and Pheris.

the minster of war. D:

at least nahuseresh is dead.

gen lay down to sleep by his father's corpse.

the patrimony divided in three. a triangle.

sophos/helen baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love that gen, knowing his cousin and also being a little sneak who notices everything, figured out helen was pregnant before sophos even did.

f for sejanus. he wasn't as bad as he seemed, and not nearly as bad as he almost was.

oh, xenophon died, too. he of the wooden cannons and receiver of the infamous "I love stupid plans" line.

why is everyone dead. :(

"they're at the pickets, both of them" oh, thank you, jesus. TWO PEOPLE WHO AREN'T DEAD. MY BOYS.

she dreams of Eddis empty. there's no words for the relief I feel.

twinssss!!

and yet they don't tell us the name!!!!! what was the MoW's name??? what is their son's name??? megan!!!!!!

gen holding his daughter for the first time and offering to pitch her off a roof. I don't even have words.

hector. hector. hector hector hector.

rooftop dance!!!!!!!!!!!

HE'S OKAY. RELIUS IS OKAY.

(you couldn't give us one costis and kamet dance? no, it's fine.)

peace. peace. peace.

crying.

#queen's thief #return of the thief #rott spoilers #rott #qt spoilers #this has been a post

[explosiveglitterqueen]

1-39 for your fave ship >:3c

Challenge accepted; but since I got a couple favs I’ll do two of my current favorite ships: Hiro x Genova & Akemi x Lucious!  Since it’s gonna be long it’ll all be under the cut~ <3

1: Who is the most affectionate?

Hiro & Genova: Hiro

Lucious & Akemi: Akemi

2: Big spoon/Little spoon?

Hiro  is the big spoon, Genova is the little spoon

Lucious is the big spoon, Akemi is the little spoon (sometimes they swap)

3: Most common argument?

Hiro & Genova: Arguments what are those??

Lucious & Akemi: Where did his snacks go

4: Who is most likely to carry the other?

Hiro & Genova: Hiro

Lucious & Akemi: Akemi (sometimes Lucious if he’s carrying her koala bear style of piggy back ride)

5: What is their favorite feature of their partner?

Hiro: Genova’s strength 

Genova: Hiro’s cool & calm nature

Lucious: Akemi’s smile

Akemi: Lucious face

6: What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

Hiro wants to spend more time alone with Genova, would actually offer to train with her more often.

Genova: She hides from him because of her lack of self esteem

Lucious: Tsundere level over 9000

Akemi: Shares snacks/food with Lucious often

7: Nicknames? & if so how did they originate?

For Hiro: Muffin (his love for muffins) 

For Genova: Baby, beautiful

For Lucious: Pretty much very cute nickname to exist, especially if it’s related to sweets

for Akemi: Tiny (She a whopping 4′9), My sunshine

8: Who worries the most?

Hiro & Genova: Genova

Lucious & Akemi: Lucious

9: Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

Hiro & Genova: Hiro

Lucious & Akemi: Akemi

10: Who initiates kisses?

Hiro & Genova: Hiro

Lucious & Akemi: Usually it’s Akemi, there are times where it’ll be Lucious

11: Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

Hiro & Genova: Genova

Lucious & Akemi: They both do it, but generally leaning more towards Akemi does it more often

12: Who kisses the hardest?

Hiro & Genova: Hiro

Lucious & Akemi: Lucious

13: Who wakes up first?

Hiro & Genova: Genova

Lucious & Akemi: Lucious

14: Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

Hiro & Genova: Hiro

Lucious & Akemi: Akemi

15: Who leaves little notes in the other ones lunch?

Hiro & Genova: Genova; “I hope you have a good day as I hope you enjoy the muffins I baked for you; they’re a new recipe so let me know what you think. -With love, Genova”

Lucious & Akemi: Akemi; “Good afternoon my cutie patootie! I made sure to pack your favorite snack to go with your lunch! I can’t wait to see you later as we should hang out at the cafe later. I love you so so much~ -Love, Akemi”

16: Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?

Hiro & Genova: Hiro tells Genova’s father first

Lucious & Akemi: Akemi is the first

17: What do their family/friends think of their relationships?

Hiro & Genova: Genova’s father is very happy to see that she’s with someone who makes her happy and helps her feel more confident. Though Hiro’s sister has only heard of her brother’s girlfriend through letters she’s happy for him and supportive. All their friends are happy to see the two together, Zeus is always bargin (we all kno how he was in hiro’s route).

Lucious & Akemi: Akemi’s family thinks their relationship is super cute and couldn’t be any happier (tho they were surprise when they found out not only was he once a prince, but he was trapped in a labyrinth for a very long time.) Their friends think it’s the cutest thing (the cutest couple in the night class and probs the whole academy).

18: Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

Hiro & Genova: Neither, but if it’s like a dance/party at the academy it would be Hiro.

Lucious & Akemi: Lucious would start dancing with Akemi; he finds it very relaxing after a long day of dealing with Zeus.

19: Who cooks more/who is better at cooking?

Hiro & Genova: Genova cooks more, but she believes Hiro’s cooking is better than her’s.

Lucious & Akemi: Akemi both cooks more and cooks better than Lucious.

20: Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

Hiro & Genova: Hiro

Lucious & Akemi: Akemi

21: Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s eat during inappropriate times?

Hiro & Genova: Hiro

Lucious & Akemi: Neither

22: Who needs more assurance?

Hiro & Genova: Genova

Lucious & Akemi: Lucious

23: What would be their theme song?

Hiro & Genova: Perfect by Ed Sheeran

Lucious & Akemi: Can’t help falling in love by Kina Grannis

24: Who would sing to their child back to sleep?

Hiro & Genova: Genova

Lucious & Akemi: Akemi

25: What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Hiro sleeps to pass the time and most likely dreams of her. Genova would either preoccupy herself with training or she’s glued to Aphrodite’s hip (since Dite always wants to involve her roomie in everything she does) which helps Genova from letting her mind wander and go into that weird place where she questions herself.

Lucious & Akemi: Lucious buries himself in prefect work to help pass the time or probably off yelling at Zeus or Caesar. Akemi just kinda curls up with Fay (or another friend) and munching on snacks while thinking about Lucious.

26: Who asks the other on dates:

Hiro & Genova: Hiro

Lucious & Akemi: Akemi, though in his on tsundere way he’d ask her on dates

27: Who is the bigger cuddler?

Hiro & Genova: Hiro

Lucious & Akemi: Akemi

28: What would the other do while they are sick?

Hiro & Genova: Hiro would make sure to look after her and get medicine from her father so she’d get better sooner, would lay with her. Genova would make sure he has food, medicine (she manages to sneak it into his food or drink if he’s being fussy), and plenty of liquids to drink.

Lucious & Akemi: Lucious brings plenty of food that won’t upset her stomach, makes Akemi her favorite tea and provides her with medicine (which it the harder part).

29: Who remembers anniversaries?

Hiro & Genova: Genova

Lucious & Akemi: Both

30: Who is more possessive?

Hiro & Genova: Hiro

Lucious & Akemi: Lucious

31: Who gets more jealous?

Hiro & Genova: Hiro

Lucious & Akemi: Lucious

32: Who is more protective?

Hiro & Genova: Hiro

Lucious & Akemi: they’re both pretty protective of each other

33: Who dislikes PDA the most?

Hiro & Genova: Genova (It’s more of like she’s afraid of it kinda than actually disliking PDA)

Lucious & Akemi: Lucious (We all know he secretly likes it)

34: Who kills the spider?

Hiro & Genova: Hiro

Lucious & Akemi: Lucious

35: Who asks the other to marry them?

Hiro & Genova: Hiro

Lucious & Akemi: Akemi

36:Who buys the other flowers or gifts?

Hiro & Genova: Hiro likes to pick flowers for her, rare occasion will he buy her a gift. 

Lucious & Akemi: Akemi is 9 out of 10 times showering him with food/snack related gifts (or at least ones to share) but she also gets him gifts if she sees something that makes her think of him!

37: Who sleeps on the couch when the other is angry?

Hiro & Genova: Hiro

Lucious & Akemi: Akemi

38: Who tries to make up first after arguments?

Hiro & Genova: Genova

Lucious & Akemi: Lucious

39: Who tells the other they love them more often?

Hiro & Genova: HIro

Lucious & Akemi: Akemi

#wizardess heart #wh ocs #ships #ship ask meme wizardess heart style #ask meme #hiro tachibana #genova merkulova #akemi yukimura #lucious duller

[mojput-mypath]

MOUNTAINS/PLANINE

Things are great. Things are more than great. Life is finally getting the shape I wished it to take. Incredible. All the things I wished for, after some time, came along. And yet, such an important 'happiness' lesson: Life should not be a pursuit of joy, life should be an expression of joy; says Sri Sri. When you wish for something, and it comes true, how long does it keep you happy for? Half a day? When you achieve that little goal you had, when you finally have it within your grasp – how long are you happy just with that? 

You keep climbing up the mountain, waiting and waiting to reach that peak. Once you're up there - how long does it take for you to realise that the peak part is just a tiny moment in the grand climb? and that a long coming-back-down-from-the-mountain is suddenly also in front of you. Once you're up there, you suddenly see so many other mountains you could climb, up and down… A whole new world of possibilities opens up. But when you were climbing up in the first place, the peak seemed to be the only goal visible in the eye of your mind. 

The peak is such short-termed joy. Yes, we say: I am enjoying the road up and looking forward to the downward return home, but we still prefer to get stuck to that one moment of bliss at the very peak. The beauty of the view is long-awaited and then we hold on to it for a long while before it fades away. The peak, the peak, the peak. Before climbing up, looking forward to it. Having climbed up, loving every moment of it. Coming down and later, still holding on to the peak moments. Yet! Yet, the peak is so short, so tiny, so distant in memory most of the time, a vague feeling of short-termed satisfaction. Either looking forward to, or remembering back. 

My peak was a steady life-place, a partner in life(/crime), and a good environment workplace that is steady-paid and longer-termed. And look at that – I got all of it. The peak is such a tiny place/short termed; the journeys before and after are a 100 times bigger/longer. 

What does it even mean to reach the peak – the minute when I move in at my maybe-final-destination for a longer while, the moment I have received my first paycheck, the moment my partner says 'I'm really staying for a while'?

I keep using the word FLOW a lot, lately. Maybe also an influence of the city I am currently and hopefully longer-term, staying in, called Rijeka (Rijeka means River, the city’s motto is 'River, the city that flows'). I can suddenly feel the flow. I can feel it, I can smell it, and I am not trying to re-direct it, or go in another direction. The truth of the matter is that I tried all these manoeuvres earlier, and kept fighting myself and everyone else. I had to DO something. I had to ACT. I needed to KNOW. I wished I could CONTROL. There was no helping it, really. I’m a stubborn island-born kid.

BUT, my body said very loudly, through means of pain: NO. STOP. REST. HELP!

I had no choice but to listen. So I said: OK. I stopped, I rested and I helped my body out.  

Then everything happened. I stopped. I rested. I did not wait for something to be given or delivered to me any longer. I moved in directions I wanted to move, without expectations. Then things moved on their own. I was not worried sick about money, lodging, food (God bless Mother, she herself is such a sanctuary). I could rest. I was taken care of. I could do what I felt I would like to do, without expecting anything out of it. And I did. I got far more than expected.

The years of agony and worry and insecurities of not having a ‘normal’ life – were slowly fading away. Now they seem to be so far away. I feel I’ve got everything I wanted to get. Now that I’m a little bigger. A little more secure. A little more loved… I reached my peak. And now I can see all the new mountains ready for me to climb up and down. 

It just goes on. No peak is the end. 

The new mountains are bigger and scarier. But I climbed this one, so I can surly climb more. Maybe I’m just getting too serious, slowly getting out of my 30s – I can no longer pretend to be a kid. Darn. Even though I am such a child. And I intend to stay one. Till the end. Never serious-up. No matter the greatness of the responsibilities.

One more thing I understand now, is that taking responsibility truly gives us inner freedom. I feel so free when I have things in my life only I am responsible for. No one to hold my back, I can take care of myself. And others. I am also less selfish, I feel. I am out there for anyone who needs me, yet, I feel I was pretending to be selfless, while I was selfishly looking into my own needs and desires. Now I see, if you have others around you, to adjust your needs to their needs – is such a relief. Such a wonderful giving opportunity. 

Why are parents such happy people? Even through all the hard times, sleepless nights and hours of worrying, they have such silly smiles on their faces at times. Because they have no choice but give to their child; their time, their care, their material security. We feel best when we have the opportunity to give. Once we give, we feel the most fulfilled. Whoa! Incredible, right?

The human heart and mind are built in such an opposing way, once you catch the opposites, bliss dawns. 

What you hold on to, moves away from you. What you let go of, comes to you.

It seems I have finally let go. 

His name is not important, his background is not important, his prior life is not important. What is important is the lovely mountain we are embarking on, climbing together. Hand in hand. Together, two as one. Many as two. Finally, 2 plus 2 is -> 5. When two energies come together as one, the sum of the parts is more than the logical result. 

I said: “I knew you existed, I only did not know it is going to be so good.”

He said: “I hoped you existed, but I did not know. I know now.” 

Except being given the most beautiful gift I have looked forward to for so long, the harmony and beauty of togetherness, I also received a bonus present – a child. His daughter? She is neither his, nor her mother’s, nor mine. Children are not owned by anyone, they are their own. We are hanging out, hugging and loving each other and growing all together. 

When the avalanche gets going, it does not stop. I got several more presents. One of them is the trust of my Master to take lead of the European school of yoga. The Sri Sri School of Yoga. Madame la directrice.

One day you’re a kid living in a room with pocket money, and tomorrow you wake up a wife, a mother and a director.

Who would have hoped? I had felt all this should be, but along the way I felt I must be just dreaming. I was not dreaming, I somehow knew. I got discouraged a million times, but I managed to persist. 

The mountains now are different, but still there. So, moving along bravely. FORZA!

_______________________________________________________________________

Vincent, Teodora

Jelena, Metod, Gordana, Vincent

Gordana, Flora, Vanja

Zvir, zgrada/Beast, a building

Gogi na poslu/Gogi at work

_______________________________________________________________________

Sve je super. Sve je više nego super. Život napokon poprima oblik koji sam željela da poprimi. Nevjerojatno. Sve što sam željela, nakon nekog vremena, je došlo. Istovremeno je došlo i važno učenje o sreći: „Ži9vot ne bi trebao biti potraga za srećom, već bi trebao biti izraz sreće.“, kaže Sri Sri. Kad nešto poželiš i to se ostvari, koliko dugo te to uistinu drži sretnim? Pola dana? Kad ostvariš taj svoj mali cilj, kada ti je napokon nadohvat ruke – koliko ćeš dugo s tim biti sretan?

Penješ se na planinu, čekaš i čekaš kako ćeš dosegnuti vrhunac. Kad se napokon popneš gore – koliko vremena ti je potrebno dok ne shvatiš da je vrhunac samo jedan mali trenutak u cijelom iskustvu penjanja? Još kad shvatiš da imaš i cijeli put spuštanja na drugu stranu… Dok si na vrhu, ti se otvori još jedan cijeli svijet mogućnosti. Kada se prvi put penješ, vrh djeluje kao jedini vidljivi cilj u tvom umu. 

Vrh je kratkoročna sreća. Naravno da kažemo: Uživam u putu prema gore i veselim se vraćanju kući, ali ipak se volimo zalijepiti za onaj jedan trenutak blaženstva kad smo se tek popeli na vrh. Ljepota pogleda je dugo-očekivani tren kojeg se dugo držimo, dok ne izblijedi. Vrh, vrh, vrh. Prije penjanja mu se veselimo. Kad smo se popeli, uživamo u svakom trenu koji nam iskustvo vrha daje. Pri spuštanju i naknadno, još se držimo trenutaka samog vrhunca. Iskustvo vrha je toliko kratkoročno, toliko maleno, većinom kao neko daleko sjećanje, blijedi osjećaj kratkoročnog užitka. Ili mu se veselimo, ili ga se sjećamo sa sjetom.

Moj vrhunac je bio stabilan život, životni partner (i partner u razbojništvu), dobro radno okruženje, stalna plaća i dugoročni projekt. I vidi vraga, dobila sam sve to. Vrhunac je to kratkoročno mjestašce; dok je put prije i poslije 100 puta dugotrajniji i važniji. 

Što uopće znači dosegnuti vrhunac – te sekunde kada se uselim na lokaciju na kojoj ću može-bitno ostati neko vrijeme, tog trena kad primim svoju prvu stalnu plaću, te minute kada mi partner kaže: 'ostajem neko vrijeme'?

U zadnje vrijeme koristim riječ na čiji spomen sam se znala ježiti: flow. Možda je tu malo utjecaj grada u kojem živim, u nadi da ću tu ostati neko vrijeme, koji se zove Rijeka (čiji je moto: grad koji teče). Odjednom osjećam taj neki flow. Osjećam ga, mogu ga nanjušiti, i ne pokušavam ga nigdje preusmjeriti, niti sama otići u drugom smjeru. Prava istina je ta da sam sve te manevre isprobala ranije, boreći se sama sa sobom i sa svima drugima. Morala nam nešto NAPRAVITI. Morala sam DJELOVATI. Morala sam ZNATI. Željela sam KONTROLIRATI. Nije tu baš bilo pomoći, tvrdoglavo sam, bračko dite. 

Moje tijelo je jasno i glasno reklo, vokabularom poveće boli: NE. STANI. ODMORI. UPOMOĆ!

Nisam imala izbora, nego poslušati. Rekla sam: OK. Stala sam, odmorila, i pomogla svom tijelu.

Upravo tada se sve dogodilo. Stala sam. Odmarala sam. Nisam čekala da mi nešto bude dano, dostavljeno pred mene. Krenula sam u smjerovima u kojim sam se htjela kretati, bez očekivanja. Tada su se stvari pokrenule same. Nisam bila zabrinuta za novce, smještaj, hranu (Bog blagoslovio majku, ona je utočište u svakom smislu te riječi.) Mogla sam odmoriti. Bila sam zbrinuta. Mogla sam raditi što sam osjećala da želim, bez očekivanja određenih rezultata. A rezultati su došli. Došlo je puno više od ičeg što sam očekivala.

Godine agonije i brige i nesigurnosti zbog nemanja 'normalnog' života – su polako počele blijediti. Iz ovog kuta djeluju kao da su jako daleko. Osjećam da sam dobila sve što sam ikada željela. Sada sam malo veća. Malo se osjećam sigurnije. Malo više voljeno… Doživjela sam svoj vrhunac. Sada mogu vidjeti sve nove planine na koje ću se popeti i s kojih ću sići. 

Ide se dalje. Nijedan vrhunac nije kraj.

Nove planine uvijek djeluju veće i strašnije. Na ovu sam se popela, pa se zasigurno mogu popeti na još koju. Možda postajem preozbiljna, izlazim polako iz tridesetih – ne mogu se više pretvarati da sam klinka. Iako jesam. I namjeravam ostati klinka. Do kraja! Nikada se ne uozbiljiti. Bez obzira na veličinu odgovornosti.

Još jedna stvar koju sada razumijem, je da nam preuzimanje odgovornosti uistinu daje osjećaj unutarnje slobode. Osjećam veliku slobodu kada postoje stvari za koje sam samo ja odgovorna. Nitko mi ne drži leđa. Trebam se brinuti za sebe. I za druge. Mislim da sam malo manje sebična, bar se tako osjećam. Tu sam za onoga kome je potrebno. Mislim da sam se nekada pretvarala da sam nesebična, dok sam istovremeno sebično gledala samo svoje potrebe i želje. Sada vidim ako imaš druge oko sebe, trebaš prilagoditi svoje potrebe njihovim potrebama – i to je začudo veliko olakšanje. Predivna prilika za davati. 

Zašto su roditelji sretni ljudi? Čak i u teškim trenucima, neprospavanim noćima i satima i satima brige, često se glupavo smiješe. Nemaju drugog izbora, nego davati svojoj djeci – svoje vrijeme, svoju brigu, dijeliti svoju materijalnu sigurnost. Osjećamo se najbolje kada imamo priliku davati. Dok dajemo, osjećamo se naj-ispunjenije. Vau! Nevjerojatno, zar ne?

Ljudsko srce i um su u suprotnosti, ali jednom kad uloviš suprotnosti, blaženstvo se budi.

Čega se grčevito držiš, odmaknut će se od tebe. Što otpustiš, doći će ti.

Čini se da sam bar nešto napokon otpustila.

Njegovo ime nije važno, odakle je nije važno, kako je prije živio je nevažno. Važnost se nalazi u toj divnoj planini na koju se krećemo penjati zajedno. Ruku pod ruku. Zajedno. Dvoje kao jedan. Mnogo kao dvoje. Na kraju krajeva, 2 plus 2 je -> 5. Kada se dvije energije usklade i postanu poput jedne, rezultat je veći od logičnog zbroja. 

Ja sam rekla: Znala sam da postojiš, samo nisam znala da će biti ovako dobro.

On je rekao: Nadao sam se da postojiš, ali nisam znao. Sad znam.

Osim što sam dobila najljepši poklon kojem sam se dugo nadala, sklad i ljepotu zajedništva, dobila sam i bonus poklon - dijete. Njegovu kćer? Nije ni njegova, ni majčina, ni moja. Djeca nisu ničija, nego svoja. Družimo se, grlimo se, volimo i rastemo svi skupa. 

Kada lavina krene, ne staje. Tako sam dobila još nekoliko poklona. Jedan od njih je povjerenje Učitelja da vodim europsku školu yoge. Sri Sri School of Yoga. Gospođa Direktorica, molim lijepo. 

Jedan dan si klinka u sobi s džeparcem, sutradan si žena, majka, direktorica. 

Tko bi se tome nadao? Osjećala sam da do svega toga treba doći, ali mi se po putu činilo da možda samo sanjam. Nisam sanjala, nekako sam znala. Obeshrabrila sam se petsto milijuna puta u međuvremenu, ali sam nekako ipak ustrajala.

Sad su planine drugačije, ali su i dalje tu. Zato, put pod noge i idemo dalje. FORCA!

#gordana tihomirovic #personal blog #life peaks

[knightofbalance-13]

http://dudeblade.tumblr.com/post/158821156544/rant-on-yangs-nonexistent-recovery-arc

I wanna preface this before I begin: I really do think yang needed more screentime this Volume. She got shafted in Volume 1 and 2 and here it was a souring experience to see her sidelined. Now I am not blaming Jaune: That guy had about a third of the screen time to himself than Yang. If I were to blame someone in the series, I’d blame Blake for hogging an entire episode to herself or Tyrian for taking up ending time that could have been used for Yang. But my honest opinion? I’m optimistic: If the writers show that Yang ahsn’t gotten over the PTSD in latter Volumes I will actually be very happy. Nothing is more insulting than underplaying the lasting effects of a mental illness, making it seem easy to get over. I didn’t get that vibe from Yang considering she had to be depressed for around nine months considering it was fall when we saw her after Beacon, it was winter after that and a minimum of six months have passed since that point. It’s entirely possible for Yang to recover in that span of time, especially if Volume 4 was told out of order.

I am saying this now to put what I am about do in context: I am a Yang fan, my main complaint with V4 was that she got too little screentime and I have an aversion to mental illnesses being downplayed. By all rights, I should agree with @Dudebblade right?

Well...

IF YOU WERE TO USE THE SAME TECHNIQUES SHOWN IN RWBY ON A PTSD VICTIM, YOU WOULD BE CALLED OUT ON YOUR INSENSITIVITY!

This isn highly hypocritical as Dudeblade has in the past said that Taiyang was wrong for breaking down after Summer’s death....his team leader...and the mother of his second daughter and caretaker of his first...after losing Raven, his first love and mother of Yang...all in about four years time...leaving him a single widower of two, a job meant for to people at minimum. It’s hard raising a kid I know, I’ve been hearing my mom state the hardships for years. And quite frankly, I wasn’t that hard of a kid I didn’t go around challenging demonic wolves or attacking bars and as much as I love my mom, Taiyang is a better parent than both of them and suffered even more than her. And Dudeblade calls this insensitive but not a widower. Yeah, he’s not allowed to talk.

I don’t give a shit if the arc was “Too hard” to write. You set yourself up to make a recovery arc. You should deliver. If it wasn’t as easy as you thought it was, then you should tough it out, and do it. Otherwise you failed to deliver on something that you promised.

You promised to be my friend and then betrayed me three times. Again, Hypocriticial.

It’s like if the RWBY writers promised that there would be LGBT representation, but refuses to point them out… Oh wait… That’s actually what’s happening right now.

You now, I have an LGBT friend named @mageknight14 and he’s just as sick of this as I am. I am starting to think they SHOULDN’T have an LGBT character if you keep bitching. You don’t hear me bitching for Asperger’s representation even though Autism is synonomous with “Brain damamged” in the world and the closest thing I have to a representitive is Sheldon Cooper.

Alright, something I’m going to have to do, is to compare this show’s PTSD recovery arc, with another show’s recovery arc. Not to be a dick or anything, but the only other well-known show that did a PTSD recovery arc well, was Legend of Korra. Not to compare RWBY to a show that has had an entire team of writers, professional animators, a previous series that was well-received, and an epic premise to undermine it or anything, but hey. Miles did say that the Season three of LoK missed the line by an inch, and found it “Meh” (Yep. Bringing that one back.)

Oh so people’s personal opinion is something you are allowed to judge them on? Okay then, you like Raven ergo anything you have to say about parental characters ever is disregarded. And unlike you who has stated their opinion as fact, Miles stated his opinion as ONLY that. And if you’re gonna pull that, how about I start comparing your DB chronicals to Miles’ writing? Let’s see: Pandering to LGBT demographic with Tifa and Yang, crappy reasoning for not using Goku or Superman which hasn’t been addressed, under usage of the Villians, under suage of Vegeta, directly copying and pasting Godzilla Vs. Gamera ect. Doesn’t feel to good huh? Maybe next time you could learn some empathy?

Hey, if Miles wants to criticize a show, and claim that “missing the mark by an inch” makes the finale “Meh”, then I can say that missing an entire plot by a light year is INFURIATING.

And I can point out the bullshit in your crap without an inch of regret or remorse. Funny how that works.

It’s almost as if it was the most insulting piece of shit that I have had to watch since reading poorly written fanfics that were clearly meant to troll people.

You emna like basic pandering, random and lazy fourth wall breaks, expecting us that Deadpool would be friends with you, under using 90% of your cast, making some deity look after you and making Yang and Guts look similar when they share like three basic things together? Or how about yang remembering Carolina ahs Pyrrha’s voice but the snarky AI in her suit that sounds like her father? Nope, nothing to see there. Also, TYang knows RT but doesn’t know a single person from RvB because...plot?

I’m getting off-topic here. Legend of Korra Book 4 handled PTSD with an ENORMOUS amount of seriousness, respect, and time. Not only was this a case of a timeskip being used in a manner that was actually the right way of using it, but they showed that Korra was struggling. While she could always blame it on the mercury poisoning, it showed that Korra wasn’t merely “moping” (I will never let that line go), it showed that she was terrified. She wanted to get better, but she had to go at her own pace.

Yeah and tehw riters of Korra had a shit ton more experience, payment and less pressure considering they could coast off of the original’s success. Which they kind of did seeing as I have heard a shit ton of non-LGBT people call bull on Korrasami.

Okay then, I will never let anything yousay go then as well. Have fun with that: My specialty is turning one’s words against them.

In fact, she had to be the one to decide to get the mercury out of her system. She wasn’t guilt-tripped into doing it, she did it because she was ready. It had nothing to do with someone calling her a burden. It was because it was at that moment, that she had recovered. There’s a reason why this episode stands out from most. It was because, through the help of Toph, Korra managed to overcome her fears and doubts, and remove the mercury herself.

Okay...is Yang Korra? No? Then they will NOT handle this situation the same way. Unless they are carbon copies of each other or at least have the same basic experiences, your point DOES NOT stand. And since you just expect us to take your wrd for it after insulting Taiyang, Miles and later on you will use Shane and Monty to attack RT, I have no good will.

Hm, let’s go through this again shall we?

Terrified...Guess that Adam dream or the PTSD flash never happened...

Choose to get the Mercury out of her system...Not how the body works...And taiyang didn’t stitch it on neither did Yang have to deal with her fault at letting her sister be in danger. Yeah, If Taiyang is a bad father for breaking down, Yang is a worse sister because she broke down longer, with no one to help Ruby, over less pain and had support all unlike taiyang.

And is RWBY over yet? ... No? Then I’d bet you’ll be eating your words sooner than latter.

RWBY just rushed it. Yang wasn’t given time to actually decide to put the arm on, her father heavily implied that she was a burden, she overheard it, and felt guilty (Seriously, how did she hear that? Is she some kind of rare half-breed or something?).

Like all children are: it’s a fact of life get use to it. Whether or not the child or parent think that way, iyt is a fact. Just as well: We only have your word on that. You, who have proven you are projecting your own parental problems onto Taiyang. yeah, you are the definition of Unreliable Narrator.

But hey, let’s take a look at Berserk. Let’s see what would happen if we were to use RWBY’s techniques on Casca. Hey, Casca! I know you got assaulted by the man you used to love romantically and everything, and that he violated you in ways that we probably couldn’t even begin to comprehend, but how about you get over it? - And now, I have been bifurcated by Guts for saying something like that. Why? Because Casca from Berserk has PTSD! She’s not going to magically get better by getting some heals or shit like that! She has PTS FUCKING D! You either treat it with respect, or don’t set yourself up to write it out to begin with.

Pardonnez-moi, mais vous n'avez aucune idée de ce que vous dites.

Okay then, let’s use your method of parenting on Guts shall we?

HEY GUTS! DUDEBLADE SAID YOU’RE A TERRIBLE FATHER FOR BREAKING DOWN AFTER TEH ECLIPSE AND CASCA’S RAPE, THAT YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU, THAT YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BE CONSIDERED GOOD AGAIN AND THAT YOU ARE WORSE THAN YOUR OWN FATHER AND GRIFFITH!

Oh look, he’s pretty pissed. Hope you enjoy having a crossbow shoved up your neither regions.

Also: Is Yang and Casca the same person? Have they faced the same troubles? Do they even share one event in the past? NO. So how about you stop using stupid examples and I might stop Guts from shoving his sword up your uretha?

Then Tai said, “Looks like you lost some brain cells along with that arm of yours.” Keep in mind that both Port and Oobleck were shocked at this. It shows that Tai crossed a line there, and in all honesty, if Yang hadn’t laughed, they would have been scared shitless for Yang’s mental health. Something that they didn’t really consider. These are supposed to be her teachers and parents, but they don’t do anything to actually help Yang get better mentally. Not to mention that Miles and Kerry said that writing the PTSD recovery arc was “too hard.” is rather insulting considering NOTHING HAPPENED! I don’t give a shit about that. I don’t give a single shit if it was “Too hard.” or not. You have to do it in a respectful manner, or you become one of the most insensitive people ever. to the point where I think that this becomes appropriate:

Oh so you’re insensitive for telling one joke but not for directly insulting someone when they are trying to help you? Because Yang did EXACTLY that! remember this line?

“I lost a part of me, it’s gone and it’s never coming back. You can’t possibly understand how that feels.”

She says this to man who lost both of his lovers, lost his team, nearly lost his kids twice with one comatose and the other depressed and hurting him for trying to help, had to wake up every day for six months wondering if his brother in law, daughter and friends were all dead. It’s like bitching about a hangnail in front of Guts: Not comparable in the slightest. If I were Taiyang I would have walked up to her, got in her face and recounted everything that I have lost to her and make her see just how much she actually lost.

Not enough? How about Ruby, her younger sister who lost more than her, was comatose for it and preserved still? Or Qrow, who lives with misfortune over his head 24/7? By far: Yang is the BEST one off so by your logic, she has no right to complain and neither do you!

Yeah. People who treat PTSD as insensitively as the writers did should be fired from breathing.

... You are telling them to die over a fictional character...

You know what is even more insulting dudeblade? Using suicide baiting right in front of a formerly suicidal person. Fuck you in every sense of the word.

Before anyone says any bullshit about how Red vs. Blue had the character ripping on each other, so that this is “okay.” - I’d like to point out that in the scene where Doc’s split personality O’Mally, roasts Grif for having to take care of his sister because his father left, and his mother was in the circus. Nobody really laughed. And when Doc snapped out of it, he apologized. None of the Reds or Blues ever hit that close to home, and when it did happen, they treated it seriously. It wasn’t a joke, it wasn’t a punchline, it was an actual serious thing.

Yes itw as a joke. It’s called Black humor and the narrative treated it as  afailed attempt at Doc’s peace which was the real punchline. And the same guy also insulted his own sister several times throughout the BGC.

And what about getting shot by a tank, being told you’re worthless, being said you won’ta mount to anything, being forced off to die several times and take the blame for everything? That’s the entirety of the BGC’s thing.

And it was treated seriously as a way to break the ice and unlike Grif, YANG WAS OKAY WITH IT. And unlike Doc, Taiyang KNOWS YANG. HE RAISED HER! How convenient for you to not mention these factors huh?

The really infuriating part was the fact that it started off so well. Yang nearly had a panic attack when she dropped the glass, she was having nightmares about Adam, she openly said that she felt as if “A part of her was missing, and it wasn’t coming back.”, she had gotten used to using only one arm- It was going so well! At this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if the current writing team for RWBY would be unable to write a respectful, and realistic PTSD Recovery arc to save their lives. The writing’s become shit since they booted Monty’s wife, Sheena and Shane off the team. I’m sure they REALLY appreciate it.

(Growls deeply)

You wanna know what is really fucking sick, as in, I can NEVER forgive, that I have deemed people horrible for, that has truly made me hate them?

Using a person’s death or mental illness for their own gain, usually attacking friends and family with it.

Like you have done with Monty and Shane.

I hoep you’re happy because you have crossed so many lines. I hope you’re happy being hateful and pessimistic because you know what? You are no better than those people at Yang Haters Haven for threatening Ben and Chad’s lives. In fact, you are WORSE than them. You are essentially digging up Monty’s corpse to beat his friends, his grieving friends who shared so much with, with it. Congratulations, you are what you hate. Except they can always say “I never used a dead man for my own gains.”

I have no respect for you, no hope for you, no kindness for you.

You are worse than most people in the rwde tag and that is saying a lot considering their suicide baiting and death threats.

Enjoy the fucking hole you dug for yourself, I’ll be sure to fill it up and put you out of your misery never.

[agnesmai]

The water experiment.

Okay, so I’m posting this article because I’m planning on publishing a youtube video I’ve made, as I have tried this experiment for myself and got pretty clear results.

For those that are unfamiliar with the water experiment and the work of Masaru Emoto check out the videos below !

The person who uploaded the documentary had the very bright idea to disable the option to share on other platforms so you will have to go directly on youtube : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IM2TL7SRYU0

Je poste cet article car j’ai fait l’expérience, et je compte publier une vidéo youtube en complément (les résultats ont été concluant). 

Pour celles et ceux qui n’ont jamais entendu parler du travail de Masaru Emoto, il y a un documentaire en anglais qui est dispo directement sur Youtube (l’uploader a désactivé l’option de partage sur d’autres plateformes) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IM2TL7SRYU0, et la deuxième que j’avais traduite il y a fort, fort longtemps.

I had published a previous article about this a long long time ago, I have kept the transcript I had manually made and translated.

Water, to us it seems quiet simple. But more and more people discover things about water that are quiet remarkable. One of them is Doctor Masaru Emoto, a water researcher from Japan. He wondered if water just like snowflakes do could make ice crystals. He began to freeze water for 3 hours by a temperature of -20°c and photographed them under a microscope. Beautiful structured ice-crystals appeared. And they even appeared to be all different from where they were taken. But the most revolutionary discovery was done as water was exposed to music. Water exposed to music showed beautiful crystals. But what does this prove ? At least it confirms the statement of Einstein that everything is energy and it seems that the French scientist Jacques Benveniste, was right when he suggested that water has memory. But does this discovery due to the fact that we consist of 70% of water has any significance for us in daily life ? Does this mean that we create are own reality by the way we speak and think because it is all vibration ?

Part 1

- In fact you say : We are the creators of our own lives, because we create our own life by the way we think, by the way we speak, because it is all vibration that has an effect on the reality that we create. What would you like to say to people who really are mad about this because they say : "Well, I look at my life and my life is really bad, and now you are saying, that I did it myself ?!" What would you like to say to those people ?

-They should study about what is resonance.

-Tell me about it.

-If I had a tuning fork, like a 440 hertz tuning fork, and if I would generate a sound like 'LA'. LAAAAA. I could give energy to that steel, because it begins to vibrate. So vibration is life, and giving  life is giving love. I think so. So you can give love to anyone, to everything on this planet, because you can generate any sound and any note if you're not 'out of  order'. It is clear that everybody can meet and can encounter a nice person who has a resonance, a vibration with you. Don't give up !

-So Dr. Emoto we talked about, in fact everything is energy. So everything in universe has a vibration, like  words and thoughts so what about a package go cigarettes ? We have this words like "smoking kills". What would you like to say about that ?

-This is so bad you know… I think it is designed for killing people. Not the cigarette itself, but the word itself has an energy that kills people. Well, smoking is bad for our health, but I don't think this is the main cause… What I mean is that getting diseases because of cigarettes has to do with a negative mind within ourselves. Those words make me sick.

-So it would be better actually, to put another word on the packages.

-Yes !

-Like "love ourselves" ?! Would it be wise while drinking water, it would be better to drink water with words written on it everyday, like "Love and Gratitude" ?

-Yes I recommend that to all the people of the world. Because that is not expensive ! Just writing.

-It's actually free.

-Yes.

-So water would be one of the most important things to focus on now ?

-Of course, water is everything. And I think this is a final chance for human beings to stay on this planet. If we cannot resonate with water, our future on this planet ...

-Will dissolve.

-Yeah dissolve.

Part 2

To avoid human being dissolving from this planet Dr. Emoto has set his hope on the new generation. This is why he wrote a book for children with the message of water to be given free to all the children of the world. This book can be downloaded from the site : http://www.emotoproject.com/english/home.html

Although the picture are beautiful the question remains is it science ?

-Is this science ?

-This is not science !

-So they see actually you research from water they don't see it a real science. How do you fell about that ?

-Because as long as scientists base their researches using a 'double blind system', no new science will appear… You know we have two eyes, why do we need to be 'doubly blinded' ? Anyway, everything is vibration and vibration is moving 0.00.0001 second, so it is impossible to always get the same results.

-So you would say it's not static, but it's a dynamic process ?

-Yes.

-So in that way, scientists would say : "Well, this is not for real because, it doesn't have always the same result."

-If we have to accept this theory, this means that we cannot progress.

L’eau nous paraît être une simple affaire. Cependant, de plus en plus de personnes découvrent que l’eau a des propriétés remarquables. L’une d’entres elles est le docteur Japonais Masaru Emoto, un chercheur dans le domaine de l’eau. Il s’est demandé si l’eau, tout comme les flocons de neige pouvait former des cristaux de glace. Il commença alors à congeler de l’eau pendant 3 heures à une température de -20°c et photographier cela à l’aide d’un microscope. De magnifiques cristaux de glaces structurés apparurent.  

Les cristaux s'avérèrent même être tous différents en fonction de l’endroit où l’eau avait été recueillie. Mais la plus révolutionnaire des découvertes fut faite lorsque l’on exposa de l’eau à de la musique. L’eau exposée à la musique dévoila de magnifiques cristaux.

Mais qu’est-ce que cela prouve au juste? Cela confirme tout du moins l’affirmation de Einstein que tout est énergie, et il semblerait que le scientifique Français Jacques Benveniste avait raison lorsqu’il suggérait que l’eau possède une ‘mémoire’. Mais est-ce que cette découverte, du fait que nous sommes composés à 70% d’eau ait une importance quelconque dans notre vie de tous les jours ? Est-ce que cela veut dire que nous créons notre propre réalité de part la manière dont nous nous exprimons, et nous pensons car tout n’est que vibration ?

Partie 1

- En fait vous dites que : Nous sommes les créateurs de nos propres vies, car nous créons nos vies grâce à notre manière de penser, de parler, parce qu’il est question des vibrations qui ont un impact sur la réalité que nous créons.

Que diriez-vous aux gens qui sont irrités par ce que vous dites, car eux ils se disent : « Et bien quand je fais le point sur ma vie, et que je constate qu’elle est pourrie, vous me dites que c’est moi qui en suis le seul responsable ?! »

Qu’est-ce que vous auriez à répondre à ces personnes ?

-Qu’il devrait étudier ce qu’est la résonance.

-Dites m’en plus.

-Si j’avais un diapason, un genre de diapason 440 hertz, et que je produisais un son comme un ‘LA’. LAAAAA. J’introduirais de l'énergie dans ce bout d’acier, car il se mettrait à vibrer. Donc la vibration c’est la vie, et donner la vie, c’est donner de l’amour. Enfin, c’est mon avis. Donc il est possible de donner de l’amour à n’importe qui, à tout ce qu’il y a sur cette planète, parce que vous pouvez produire n’importe quel son, n’importe quelle note, si vous n’êtes pas ‘hors d’usage’.  Il est évident que tout le monde peut rencontrer une personne sympathique qui a une résonance, une vibration en accord avec la vôtre. Il ne faut pas se décourager !

-Donc, Dr. Emoto ce que nous sommes en train de dire, c’est qu’en fait, tout est énergie. Donc tout ce qui se trouve dans l’univers possède une vibration, comme les mots et les pensées. Si nous prenions par exemple un paquet de cigarettes. Il y figure des mots comme «fumer tue» . Qu’est-ce que vous aimeriez dire à ce sujet ?

-C’est très grave vous savez... Je pense que c’est destiné à tuer les gens. Ce n’est pas tant la cigarette elle-même, mais le mot en lui-même qui détient une énergie qui tue les gens. Bien sûr le fait de fumer nuit à la santé, mais je ne crois pas que ça soit la cause principale... Ce que je veux dire c’est que contracter des maladies à cause de la cigarette est étroitement lié à un état d’esprit négatif qui réside à l’intérieur de nous même. Ce sont ces mots qui me rendent malade.

-Donc en fait, ça serait mieux de mettre d’autres mots sur les paquets.

-Oui !

-Comme, «aimez-vous» ?! Serait-ce plus sage en buvant de l’eau, serait-ce mieux de boire tous les jours de l’eau avec des mots écrits sur la bouteille comme  «Amour et Gratitude» par exemple ?

-Oui, je recommande ça aux gens du monde entier. Parce que ça ne coûte pas bien cher... d’écrire !

-C’est gratuit même.

-Oui !

-Donc d’après vous, l’eau est une des choses principales sur laquelle il faudrait se concentrer à l’heure d’aujourd’hui ?

-Bien sûr, l’eau c’est ‘tout’. Et je pense que c’est la dernière chance pour l’être humain de rester sur cette planète. Si nous ne parvenons pas à trouver notre résonance avec l’eau, notre futur sur cette planète...

-Nous disparaîtrons.

-Oui, nous disparaîtrons.

Partie 2

Pour empêcher l’être humain de disparaître de cette planète, Dr. Emoto a placé ses espoirs en la nouvelle génération. C’est la raison pour laquelle il a écrit un livre pour enfant véhiculant son message sur l’importance de l’eau, accessible à tous les enfants du monde, gratuitement. Ce livre peut être téléchargé à partir du site : http://www.emotoproject.com/english/home.html

Bien que les photos soient très belles, la question demeure : est-ce que tout cela est scientifiquement recevable ?

-Est-ce scientifique recevable ?

-Ca ne l’est pas !

-Donc, on considère vos recherches à propos de l’eau, on ne les considèrent pas comme de la véritable science. Comment réagissez vous face à de telles affirmations ?

-Tant que les scientifiques se baseront uniquement sur leur système et procédés initiaux du ‘doublement aveuglé’, la science n’évoluera pas...

Vous savez nous avons deux yeux, à quoi bon si nous restons ‘doublement aveugle’ ?

Bref, tout est vibration, et la vibration bouge au 0.00.0001 de seconde, donc il est impossible d’avoir à chaque fois les mêmes résultats.

-Donc vous dites que ce n’est pas statique, mais plutôt un procédé dynamique ?

-Oui.

-Donc de cette façon, les scientifiques pourraient dire : «Et bien, tout ceci n’est pas vraisemblable, puisque les résultats varient et ne sont pas toujours les mêmes.»

-A partir du moment où nous acceptons cette théorie, nous ne pourrons pas progresser dans le domaine scientifique.

#agnes mai #myarticles #articles #health #mental health #masaru emoto

[barbosaasouza]

Metal Gear Survive Review: Wandering Through Dite

The Metal Gear Solid series is massively important to me, but I've never been under the delusion that Metal Gear Survive would reach anything even remotely close to the genius of the games before it. It's the first Metal Gear title devoid of any input from the man Hideo Kojima himself, and aside from the recycled assets and glimpses at familiar characters during the opening moments of the game's single-player campaign, it certainly shows.

But that's not to say Metal Gear Survive is a bad game. In fact, it's just the opposite. Without factoring in any references to Metal Gear, its lore, or its characters and taken on its own at face value, it's an intriguing survival game that demands a lot out of its players. It's derivative, sure, but it's also a robust and strangely addicting mix of zombie-slaying goodness wrapped up in some admittedly weird design decisions.

If you're looking for anything even remotely close to the Metal Gear series you may be in love with, you won't find it here. But you will find a fairly unique experience that's surprisingly great for being built from the scraps of a decidedly higher-profile game.

Escape to Dite

Metal Gear Survive splits off from the Metal Gear you know and love directly after XOF attacks Mother Base near the end of Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes. A wormhole tears through space and time out of nowhere and ends up drawing the Metal Gear Survive protagonist into another dimension named Dite, which is rife with zombie-like creatures known as Wanderers. That's the narrative in a nutshell, and essentially everything you need to know about what to expect from the game. Its story isn't its strong suit, unsurprisingly.

But you won't come here for the story. You'll come here for the survival elements and, likely, morbid curiosity about what the game has to offer. As you explore Dite, you'll come to understand why it's such a despicable place crawling with zombies. It's covered with a strange substance called Dust, which the Wanderers can survive for reasons that will be revealed later in the single-player campaign.

As the Captain, your customizable male or female character, you're tasked with figuring out the situation in Dite with the Wanderers, the Dust, and ways to transport yourself back home to Mother Base. With the help of AIs and other human characters, you'll unravel the mystery as you weave together your Captain's story. It's not a particularly rich one with tons of lore, but it's fine for the single-player campaign, which needed a reason to saddle you with wormholes to explore and a toxic world to, well, survive.

Whether you choose to play through the single-player campaign (which you should) or you tackle the co-op options, you'll still be required to have a constant internet connection. With that out of the way, just know that this game will feel as though it was built for online in mind. With lobbies, starting areas, and setups that feel as though the single-player was a second thought, it can feel as though you were meant only to hop online to have your fun.

Survival of the Fittest

Metal Gear Survive is all about keeping yourself alive. You need to pay attention to thirst and hunger gauges in addition to staving off any errant Wanderers that head your way. You need to pick up anything that can sate your character's appetite or you'll find that you'll just die. There's a lot more to the game than killing the shambling hordes, that's for sure. Cooking meat before you eat, boiling water before you drink it, hunting your own food for sustenance, and dealing with sickness acquired through imbibing things that are contaminated. There are ways to combat all of these things, and they're meted out to you at what feels like a glacial pace, but it feels that much more satisfying when you're able to deal with the elements in a more efficient way.

While out in the Dust and fighting off Wanderers, you'll need to collect the all-important Kuban Energy, usually found via bright red crystals out in the field or on the enemies you take out. As you make your way through, you'll find treasure troves of items that you can use to create new items to help you through the desolate wasteland. For instance, you need to worry about your oxygen tank running out of air while exploring in the Dust, as well as keeping yourself healed up if you sustain an injury. There's a pretty extensive list of things you need to be concerned with at just about any point in time as you explore and accumulate recipes and Kuban Energy. It can be exhausting, but when you get the hang of things, you'll be humming along like a well-oiled machine.

You'll need to make sure you're fighting fit at all times, too, because you'll constantly need to look for better loot, better items, and better weapons to pull you through. The Wanderers are your biggest threat as you work to get home during the 30-hour campaign, and whether you're completing main or side missions or you're exploring Horde mode-like gameplay, you'll need the best you can get to carry you through.

Some missions find you doing some pretty run-of-the-mill campaign quests, while others find you playing guard to a "wormhole digger" that's essentially your ticket home. Collect enough energy, and you'll eventually find a way back to the real world in the campaign, which is easier said than done. These mission types are plentiful in both single-player and co-op modes, if you're interested in playing online.

To that end, playing Metal Gear Survive online via co-op is pretty exciting, especially if you have friends you'd like to explore Dite with. The survival missions are absolutely teeming with loot, and you'll find some pretty interesting scenarios to take on. You get to bring over the items you get in single-player mode and vice versa to co-op, so it doesn't feel as though the online components were just tacked on, despite how online-oriented the entire package seems at first.

Micro-transactional

The question on everyone's minds these days is not if a game will have microtransactions, for the most part, but how bad they'll be. Yes, you do need to pay extra for things like save slots, which aren't particularly necessary, but there are additional things that you can spend SV Coins on that do make the addition of micro transactions somewhat aggravating.

For instance, you can purchase things like Premium Boost Passes and similar items that can essentially make for what may as well be a pay to win scenario, or at least "pay to do better." It'll up the amount of Kuban Energy you receive, as well as the other items you collect throughout the game. If you find that the game is too hard, you can grab one of the passes for roughly $11 for 30 days of boosts, but it seems pointless to pay for the game to artificially simplify itself when the fun comes from the challenge of trying to stay alive.

Charging extra for save slots, exploration team slots, Boost Passes, and various other items via microtransactions in-game are a bit frustrating and slimy of Konami, but they don't hinder your enjoyment of the game in any significant way. They're par for the course at this point, and as unpleasant as they are to see, you don't have to purchase anything to enjoy the game.

I'm A Survivor

Metal Gear Survive is an interesting amalgam of survival elements, small references to the series that influenced it, zombie games, and online titles. It's not a Metal Gear game, which makes me wonder why it was titled as such in the first place as it's not attracted fans of the series, and in fact has done just the opposite. It would have fared better, perhaps, as a new IP with less recycled assets. But as it is, it's an interesting and wholly engrossing exercise in survival that I enjoyed more with every hour that passed. Don't go into the game looking for any sort of Metal Gear gratification, and you'll come out relatively pleased with what's on offer.

This review is based on a PlayStation 4 download code provided by the publisher. Metal Gear Survive is available in retail and digital stores now for $39.99. The game has been rated M for Mature by the ESRB.

Metal Gear Survive Review: Wandering Through Dite published first on https://superworldrom.tumblr.com/

[barbosaasouza]

Metal Gear Survive Review: Wandering Through Dite

The Metal Gear Solid series is massively important to me, but I've never been under the delusion that Metal Gear Survive would reach anything even remotely close to the genius of the games before it. It's the first Metal Gear title devoid of any input from the man Hideo Kojima himself, and aside from the recycled assets and glimpses at familiar characters during the opening moments of the game's single-player campaign, it certainly shows.

But that's not to say Metal Gear Survive is a bad game. In fact, it's just the opposite. Without factoring in any references to Metal Gear, its lore, or its characters and taken on its own at face value, it's an intriguing survival game that demands a lot out of its players. It's derivative, sure, but it's also a robust and strangely addicting mix of zombie-slaying goodness wrapped up in some admittedly weird design decisions.

If you're looking for anything even remotely close to the Metal Gear series you may be in love with, you won't find it here. But you will find a fairly unique experience that's surprisingly great for being built from the scraps of a decidedly higher-profile game.

Escape to Dite

Metal Gear Survive splits off from the Metal Gear you know and love directly after XOF attacks Mother Base near the end of Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes. A wormhole tears through space and time out of nowhere and ends up drawing the Metal Gear Survive protagonist into another dimension named Dite, which is rife with zombie-like creatures known as Wanderers. That's the narrative in a nutshell, and essentially everything you need to know about what to expect from the game. Its story isn't its strong suit, unsurprisingly.

But you won't come here for the story. You'll come here for the survival elements and, likely, morbid curiosity about what the game has to offer. As you explore Dite, you'll come to understand why it's such a despicable place crawling with zombies. It's covered with a strange substance called Dust, which the Wanderers can survive for reasons that will be revealed later in the single-player campaign.

As the Captain, your customizable male or female character, you're tasked with figuring out the situation in Dite with the Wanderers, the Dust, and ways to transport yourself back home to Mother Base. With the help of AIs and other human characters, you'll unravel the mystery as you weave together your Captain's story. It's not a particularly rich one with tons of lore, but it's fine for the single-player campaign, which needed a reason to saddle you with wormholes to explore and a toxic world to, well, survive.

Whether you choose to play through the single-player campaign (which you should) or you tackle the co-op options, you'll still be required to have a constant internet connection. With that out of the way, just know that this game will feel as though it was built for online in mind. With lobbies, starting areas, and setups that feel as though the single-player was a second thought, it can feel as though you were meant only to hop online to have your fun.

Survival of the Fittest

Metal Gear Survive is all about keeping yourself alive. You need to pay attention to thirst and hunger gauges in addition to staving off any errant Wanderers that head your way. You need to pick up anything that can sate your character's appetite or you'll find that you'll just die. There's a lot more to the game than killing the shambling hordes, that's for sure. Cooking meat before you eat, boiling water before you drink it, hunting your own food for sustenance, and dealing with sickness acquired through imbibing things that are contaminated. There are ways to combat all of these things, and they're meted out to you at what feels like a glacial pace, but it feels that much more satisfying when you're able to deal with the elements in a more efficient way.

While out in the Dust and fighting off Wanderers, you'll need to collect the all-important Kuban Energy, usually found via bright red crystals out in the field or on the enemies you take out. As you make your way through, you'll find treasure troves of items that you can use to create new items to help you through the desolate wasteland. For instance, you need to worry about your oxygen tank running out of air while exploring in the Dust, as well as keeping yourself healed up if you sustain an injury. There's a pretty extensive list of things you need to be concerned with at just about any point in time as you explore and accumulate recipes and Kuban Energy. It can be exhausting, but when you get the hang of things, you'll be humming along like a well-oiled machine.

You'll need to make sure you're fighting fit at all times, too, because you'll constantly need to look for better loot, better items, and better weapons to pull you through. The Wanderers are your biggest threat as you work to get home during the 30-hour campaign, and whether you're completing main or side missions or you're exploring Horde mode-like gameplay, you'll need the best you can get to carry you through.

Some missions find you doing some pretty run-of-the-mill campaign quests, while others find you playing guard to a "wormhole digger" that's essentially your ticket home. Collect enough energy, and you'll eventually find a way back to the real world in the campaign, which is easier said than done. These mission types are plentiful in both single-player and co-op modes, if you're interested in playing online.

To that end, playing Metal Gear Survive online via co-op is pretty exciting, especially if you have friends you'd like to explore Dite with. The survival missions are absolutely teeming with loot, and you'll find some pretty interesting scenarios to take on. You get to bring over the items you get in single-player mode and vice versa to co-op, so it doesn't feel as though the online components were just tacked on, despite how online-oriented the entire package seems at first.

Micro-transactional

The question on everyone's minds these days is not if a game will have microtransactions, for the most part, but how bad they'll be. Yes, you do need to pay extra for things like save slots, which aren't particularly necessary, but there are additional things that you can spend SV Coins on that do make the addition of micro transactions somewhat aggravating.

For instance, you can purchase things like Premium Boost Passes and similar items that can essentially make for what may as well be a pay to win scenario, or at least "pay to do better." It'll up the amount of Kuban Energy you receive, as well as the other items you collect throughout the game. If you find that the game is too hard, you can grab one of the passes for roughly $11 for 30 days of boosts, but it seems pointless to pay for the game to artificially simplify itself when the fun comes from the challenge of trying to stay alive.

Charging extra for save slots, exploration team slots, Boost Passes, and various other items via microtransactions in-game are a bit frustrating and slimy of Konami, but they don't hinder your enjoyment of the game in any significant way. They're par for the course at this point, and as unpleasant as they are to see, you don't have to purchase anything to enjoy the game.

I'm A Survivor

Metal Gear Survive is an interesting amalgam of survival elements, small references to the series that influenced it, zombie games, and online titles. It's not a Metal Gear game, which makes me wonder why it was titled as such in the first place as it's not attracted fans of the series, and in fact has done just the opposite. It would have fared better, perhaps, as a new IP with less recycled assets. But as it is, it's an interesting and wholly engrossing exercise in survival that I enjoyed more with every hour that passed. Don't go into the game looking for any sort of Metal Gear gratification, and you'll come out relatively pleased with what's on offer.

This review is based on a PlayStation 4 download code provided by the publisher. Metal Gear Survive is available in retail and digital stores now for $39.99. The game has been rated M for Mature by the ESRB.

Metal Gear Survive Review: Wandering Through Dite published first on https://superworldrom.tumblr.com/