#i really need to sleep it's way too late

[uncanny-tranny]

It's so hard to fully encapsulate my rage at just how much people buy into the idea that capitalism will uniquely incentivize people to innovate when... it isn't about innovation. It is about profit, and those two things are not mutually inclusive ideas.

Maybe I'm getting too old, but all of these "new innovative" ideas were shit we had in ye olden days - movies, renting, delivery services, taxis, housing - we had all of those services, except now, it's exorbitantly more expensive because of price gouging.

You aren't witnessing innovation; you are witnessing the modern invention of the wheel behind a ludicrous pay wall.

#anti capitalism #politics #my dad and i ruminate about going to bastings to rent movies and just how much shit they had there #and i just worry that people are so blinded behind the glitz and glamour that *corporations are invested in propagating*... #...that they'd willingly let companies do whatever even if it isn't a luxury service #the profit drive will eat you alive and still come away hungry #i use luxury services because it's one of the easier and more glarongly obvious examples #i really need to sleep it's way too late #i just. think about this a lot

[keeps-ache]

HEY

#art #my art #artists on tumblr #digital art #oc #pink space #i really like the subtract glitch i've been doing recently - so here's some of that again lol :3 #the way it interacts with their palettes is so fun i like it a lot ehegh :33 #//anyway do you ever consider just tossing out any part the human body you've learned to draw and just drawing dumb little guys with arms #like pipecleaners forever or what hfhs #//oh this is was doobled in traditional originally #i need to digitize more of these. Because #though aura's hair was more extreme in the second panel in that version - i'm tired though and 3 days ago it was the same so no feelings to #change that lol :) #also i didn't shrink the noise enough so it didn't look right - and i was not going to reimport it so Bon Voyage my dude hfhs #was Supposed to fit on a 900x900 canvas but i made the panels a liiiiitle bit too big so it's 950x950 #which is Fine it's a round number but it's not a Round-Round number so [gesturing] #1000x1000 was way too big for this little thing so she sits at a pleasant halfway point :> #//anyway i was also up til 3 a.m. last night doing ?? something ?? i genuinely don't even know what lmfhsbvh #nice though maybe my brain'll get a reset lol :3 #stay up really late some random nights and jumpstart your brain!! it's foolproof!! never fails!! [<- these statements have not been reviewe #by the FDA or the Center for Sleep Control] #//ANywho now i'm going to be on my way #/oh i also forgot to post the oath n aura refs i made for artfight lol- #i'll prolly put those up w/ the kira and hid ones though :>> #i like to have the whole ensemble :D i Do feel bad when one of them gets left out hghsfh - like forgetting a stuffed animal somewhere #even though they're all together for small portion of the story it still feels off lol #i should prolly introduce the rest of the cast at some point. .... ......... ..........hm yea prolly. maybe one day hfhs #//anyway NOW i'm going i've run out of tag space i think hfhs - toodles !! :>

[jekyll-doodles]

⚰

#swear im not dead just finishing up the school year and making sure i have a job next semester #Painting with oils on a school thing and Finishing a mom day gift and starting work on a commission And Getting Barely Enough Sleep #wanna do stuff with everything and nothing all at once i am frazzled #thank you all so much for the patience i havent been able to upload for the last two or so sundays that should change soon #i wanna wanna write so more of those wakey wakey logs and interviews too because that was really fun to do so maybe that soon #also. and i have no.. no way to set it up Right Now but i yhink itd be fun.y to have a similar thing but with the deltarune au with susie #foundation staff asking about her uncle and she answers based on what she knows. i think itll be funny. hes literally just Her Uncle to her #but ill ill have to think of how to. to set that up. if i wanna draw it or do it log form. same with the wakey wakey ones #like the dissonance between what the foundation knows and what she knows is hilarious to me. #its them asking her if shes noticed anything Off or strange about him and her saying that Yeah He Sleeps Under Like 10 Weighted Blankets. #followed by mentioning that hes apparently always slept like that according to her parents ever since he was a kid. still weird but not new #but anyway its ver late for me rn i am gonna sleep and then. try my best to do at least half of what i need to do tommorrow #cornholes painted. start commission. mom gift. job email thing. laundry. uuuuuuuuhhh... maybe finsih one of 20 or 30 wips i have .... #there was something else too. kofi stuff i think idk #delete later

[heartshattering]

5 AM

Just me and my overactive mind facing the nighttime again 🙃

#hopefully the meds work but while waiting for them to kick in I get so damn nervous #and sometimes I do get nights where even on my full dose my anxiety is too overpowering and I just. Do Not Sleep #I mean I do eventually but not without spiraling first :') #way before I was prescribed sleep meds my longest was 3 nights without sleep while on a VERY stressful trip #I felt like I was gonna die and I did not sleep until I got off the plane and was back at home #(this was like 15 years ago already but it still haunts me fhfgsgdh) #my best friend and I were having a conversation today #and she was like 'not sleeping can make you hallucinate right?' #and I was like :') I get the hallucinations in other scenarios too #BUT I also get what she meant #not sleeping is really bad for me mentally which is why I can't do 'sleep restriction therapy' #and fun fact #a lot of my OCD obsessions revolve around sleep!!! #which is 'awesome' because laying in bed with insomnia makes my OCD flare up so like #the two get to feed off each other and make my life a living hell!!! #and don't even get me started on my sleep paralysis episodes #(which I like to think of as just my brain misfiring but that my aunt tells me is saints or demons trying to talk to me) #'cause she hallucinates too but hers are like 'spiritual' or whatever #same with my mom's hallucinations as well #and to add fuel to the dumpster fire of my mind and body is the fact I've been overcaffeinating again #which I've known not to do ever since I was in middle school and saw the pediatric cardiologist who specifically said 'hey don't do that' #fast-forward to adulthood and I still haven't learned how to handle anything #like. I have heart meds and sleep meds and migraine meds and IBS meds #and yes meds are good but like. I know you need to incorporate lifestyle changes as well #which I do for like 2 weeks until the next time I fuck up #I've been so irresponsible lately but like. ESPECIALLY today #didn't eat #took some meds on an empty stomach and forgot to take my other ones at all #had too much caffeine #stressed out over some stupid situations thanks to overthinking

[mothram]

#diana's music diary #less delirious today cause I didn't take the sleep meds last night #think I'll get some stuff done today -:) #I'm looking at SSDs atm #cause I'm very tired of running out of space and 1TB is not cutting it ;; #girls just want to hoard all of their music in FLAC quality is that really too much to ask? #I've also uh #been looking at thinkpads a little cause I need another laptop for one of my projects... 😳😊 #probably not gonna get one today but I might browse some secondhand ones at least and consider a bit... #feeling even just a little bit of focus today has been nice... #let's try to make the most of today.. and make it nice and good and cozy n.n #(also I've been trying to get into maidcore for a while but lately something clicked and I suddenly got way into it -:3) #Youtube

[robotic-maid]

How things are going again… update I guess? Still can’t figure out how to read more on mobile. I’m just typing this out so it can leave my head.

#nights are really hard for me #mornings are also really hard for me #I think my jobs burning me out #and I haven’t been able to sleep very well much at all #I’ve only been getting 3-5 hours if I’m lucky because my nightmares are really bad so I usually just stay awake #I mean I have to get up at 4am anyway so what’s the point #do you know how it feels to be in pain but you can’t cry because your body’s grown so used to it? #so it feels like crying because it’s Wednesday again #which I can’t justify because tommorrow is Thursday and that is your new normal #your new normal is working so hard you don’t have the time to see your dog and your cars ac is out and you spend all your money on the room #you sleep in 15 minutes away from the office you are stuck at more than 11hoirs a day #you ask your job to adjust your schedule and they say they can’t without cutting your hours and you need the money to survive #it’s too much #but feeling this way or not feeling this way won’t make a difference because the only other options will make your living situation harder #I’m so tired but I don’t have any better options right now so I have to keep waking up and working #I feel horrible spending time with me friends because I get tired after an hour and I worry that I’ve become #too flaky or something #I can’t stay up late and I’m already stressed out so I just can’t keep up with everyone and I don’t want to be a drain #I wish my heart would just stop some times #my meds stop me from hurting myself or crying or sleeping too long but these feelings always come to me when I wake up #I’m disappointed I woke up again #I don’t want to keep doing this I don’t know how long I can keep going #my body is breaking down like my car is breaking down #I don’t want to keep doing this I need more than a day off work a week I want to see my dog I don’t want to be poor but I don’t want to #wake up just to spend all day in an office getting yelled at while my coworkers come in and leave before me #I know I can do this I know I need to keep doing this I know there’s nothing better for me than this #I shouldn’t say these horrible things out loud because they’ll just wear me down faster #there’s nothing that will help me I need to help myself #this is en endurance test and I need to keep it up because if I fail I will lose so much more than I have #I wish I could cry I wish I could break down and scream but what would be the point? it won’t help it won’t fix anything m

[love-too]

Just made a fool out of myself

#I've been so rude without noticing #my god #i feel so ashamed #I've not been myself lately and my anxiety is showing itself in a way that's unfamiliar to me #I've always had the high functioning tummy ache can't sit still type of anxiety #and now I'm in perennial freeze mode but I'm so emotionally reckless too #idk why #I'm so ashamed really #in front of my friends and towards them too #why can't i shut the fuck up??? #but then if I don't talk they get worried and also i need to talk or I'll go insane #i needed to get this out or i won't be able to sleep #like #I'm an adult for fucks sake #why can't i behave??? #i want to just bang my head on a wall #so embarassing

[the-kipsabian]

i will legitimately be thinking about this game for years to come

#i know ive missed at least a few pages and some tv clips. i'll have to look those up at some point #but just. the story. the ending. the new ending. the new story the new stuff acknowledging that this is a spiral im #i cant. there are no words to accurately describe how fucking brilliant this game is #just the story and characters themselves #but also all the batshit insane stuff in here. theres a 20 minute musical number AND a 20 minute short film inside this masterpiece #alongside everything else #im also really happy ng+ gave me more zane. i love him so much and him and his casual thirsting over darling?? PLEASE #just. the ending is perfect. 10/10 very content i feel happy yet asking some questions but ultimately no notes #cant wait for the dlc. i dont know when thats happening but very much actually looking forward to both of them. night springs especially #im just.. 13 years guys. still my game of the year 2023. a love letter to video games cinema and mixed media #please experience alan wake 2 its SO fucking worth it 💜 #i need to sleep now my head hurts and its way too late/early but. yeah. this definitely brought me the content feeling i needed today #alan wake #aw2 spoilers #i guess lol #night is an absolute mess on main

[kalloway]

:)

gonna try to be self-indulgent to fight depression, wish me luck boys

#myart #oc #artists on tumblr #art #original character #sketch #delete later #(cuz i may wake up later and hate this but this is the first doodle I haven't hated in a WHILE so...) #my 'self indulgent' idea is basically just her hooking up with DIO in a pre-Part 3 setting (at LAST) #in a way I have thought about for much too long but always talked myself out of cuz it feels dumb as hell #but I need some shameless self indulgence in my life after feeling so miserable lately SO HERE I AM #(also no i am not elaborating cuz idk if I will share said idea because it feels dumb LOL so extra self indulgent in that only i will know) #anyway sleep now cuz it's 8am and my sleep schedule is basically destroyed but im sure this is fine #oh also the gold lipstick was v inspired by a very stunning woman who did an ASMR RP for The Mummy and she wore gold lipstick I loved a lot #asmr really unlocks the raging bi within me to a new degree it's great

[androideql]

Forbidden pill kicked in. Great job everyone.

#android talking #sometimes i do wonder #is it really bad to be dependant on sleeping aids if it's the only way for me to sleep on some days? #or is it justified like a someone who needs to take strong painkillers to function in any capacity is justified? #do i really need to suffer through it just to say there's no chance im addicted #or is it just mental health stigma still telling me that i should be do better without drugs because it's not real and all in my head #it's too late to be thinking about this isnt it #maybe i should really just ask my doctor and make peace that pills for life is likely my best option #ive already suffered too much trying to be straight edge

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

#I have so much I want to say but nothing I can actually articulate #how do I make you see how much you’re hurting me? how do I make you see how much I love you at the same time? #you grew a conscience too little too late and I was left to hang for it #I keep trying to be who you want but it feels like there’s no version of me that will make you happy #and I feel the distance growing between us every day because of how you’re pushing me away #but still you’ll say everything is fine and I just have to accept things the way they are #it doesn’t matter what I say or do because everything I say/do is always wrong in your eyes #I’m always fucking things up somehow and making you angry #so it’s at the point where I just have to stifle my feelings and swallow my pride and try to keep you happy #do you remember how we became friends? you reached out to me to help me with my anxiety from a post you stumbled across #but I feel that now if I were to share any of those kinds of feelings with you I’d be mostly ignored or it would start another fight #how can you say you’re always supportive when there’s no way to talk to you when I really need you because you’re simply not here? #how can you be mad at me for wanting more time with you when there are days you only send me one message and nothing else? #and still the thought of losing you hurts so much that I’d rather just concede to whatever you want #I’d rather let you crush me and dictate how our whole relationship will go than see you walk away from me #I know that’s so unhealthy but I don’t care anymore because I just need you that much #I hate this stupid connection we seem to have and how we’re still so drawn to each other even when we’re hurt and angry #it would be so much easier if you were just some guy I could block #but you’re not because you’ve become my best friend and that in itself is so horribly pathetic it makes me sick #I just can’t get these thoughts out and so I feel sick and anxious and I just want to sleep this all away #how do I say any of this to you? i don’t think I could really #personal

[uroborosymphony]

 devora :    what form would your demon take?

Her deamon is a Raptor. Your daemon would take the form of a raptor! Those who have raptor daemons are intellectual and precise, though unlike other bird daemons they also symbolize active and ambition. They are logical but confident, often preferring to work alone in relentless pursuit of their goals. Her deamon is an Eagle. Your daemon would take the form of a eagle! You are a proud and confident individual who has a deep loyalty towards a select few. More so than others with raptor daemons, those with eagles are self-centered, overambitious, and unafraid to push their weight around. They don't care much for subtlety and always have their eye on the prize.

tagged by : @clemencetaught (Thank youuu). tagging : @ofgentleresolve (Aeri I'm so curiouuus) @mythvoiced (Van and Ma

#넷 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐀 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 / the victor. #넷 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐀 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 / headcanons. #OH #I had no idea what to expect and it works so WELL #She really is a raptor - intellectual precise with ambition logicial and confident #She preferrs working alone but has to learn how to work as a group as a family as a team when she becomes a leader #I can actually imagine Deva not being able to hold an alliance during her games #She is quite self centered due to the way she has been raised and trained but with time she learns how to Not work all by herself #Especially thanks to Aeri perhaps since the Academy - I Imagine during their trainings late at night when everyone is sleeping heh #Then of course later down the road as they become partners - she keeps on learning #Then with Patrick too - they're side by side in work and she had to learn how to coordinate and collaborate and Talk to him #And of course with the victors as a family but also taking into account their needs and requests and not just hers #Perhaps especially with people a little 'open' than her like Tai and Maria - since deva can be very closed off

[1980ssunflower]

So happy and excited to spend another year with my wonderful husbands 🥺💖💙

#ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙 #tape entry circa 1980 #to be by their side is the only thing i ever really need #as long as i have them and their love i can get through anything!! #i love them!!! i love them more than life itself! they own my whole heart soul and mind #i will be theirs and they will be mine till the end of time and even after #im just so happy to have them and love them... #genuinely i cant ever truly put into words how happy and grateful i am to the universe to have been able to find my soulmates... #i honestly wouldnt be who i am rn and as happy w myself rn if it wasnt for them #they really did so much for me and ill always love them for that and everything else they do for me #mis amores mis bebes... all i want is to be able to show them how much i love them and to do things for them too... #going to sleep and think abt playing music w them on tour #and just long roadtrips to nowhere while singing w the radio blasting out our favorite tunes #siighh... i want to hold them both... and kiss them... #cuddled up on the couch watching horror movies we rented at the video store and going to play games at the arcade #late night snack runs and stargazing after getting way too sucked into our jam session hfjdk #aaa i love them... so so much...

[felly-the-smol-coffee-bun]

A special dork is here to deliver u a message @honey-creek <3

I thought u might need a little energy today so here is a round boi for u<3

It’s my first time drawing him but I inspired myself with ur images of him and I just love his round little body so much <333

I hope it brightens ur evening a little<3

u got this!

#south park #Clyde #clyde donovan #sp clyde #it’s a round bby!! #i really need to sleep now it’s way too late to be up right now•^•; #stay strong #be a dork and hopelessly energetic #be a dork and cry all the time #be like Clyde!

[twpsyn-who]

[SPOILERS FROM 'THE ORDER' - especially in the tags sorry]

.

.

.

.

.

May someone explain to me why there's no fanfiction on AO3 with werewolf!Kyle killing the other two and being forced to join the Knights of Saint Christopher???? Of him finding out about Jack and the two of them being lowkey forced to work together so Kyle doesn't get fucking KILLED by the Order????? You literally have the perfect plot for an enemy to lovers fanfiction RIGHT HERE and you're sleeping on it why exactly?

#I don't understand you guys #the show literally force feeded you with a way to make this ship happen and you're all sleeping on it like wtf #and don't get me started on the knights of saint christopher like- SO MUCH POTENTIAL FOR POLY RELATIONSHIP HERE #and you guys what? ignore it????? I have watched only season 1 but still. you guys could have played around with the memory thingy SO MUCH #yet barely a few people did????? guys?!?!?!? #i'm judging you #and I'm very disappointed #It could have been the slowest slow burn in history too #like they start to slowly get along but Kyle finds out he actually cares Jake and is falling for him when the other is literally DYING #also no fuck you Jake didn't really need to be a werewolf after coming back IF there was someone from the Order with them to heal that #fucking cut. someone with a little more experience (no hate on you Killith) #I wanna look on wattpad too but idk how to find shit on that app #the tags are chaotic and somehow makes finding things for a fandom HARDER #the order netflix #the order #the order season 1 #the order spoilers #Too late for saying 'SPOILERS IN THE TAGS'? probably #the order kyle #the Knights of Saint Christopher #the order jack

[miinteaa]

Ooooo i was listening to the death note musical soundtrack and ‘I’ll only love you more’ honestly gives vibes of Akutagawa towards Dazai ans i am kinda obsessed with this idea now I must draw at as soon as my exams are over

#btw that song is so beautiful I love it so much #also I don’t mean this in a dazai x aku way I don’t really ship them but from like akutagawas one sided point of view I think it really fits #aku couls be misa is he were less weird and more girlboss #no cause like dazai promised akutagawa a reason to live or something #and it’s too late at night to do more critical analysis but there is totally something there #I feel it in my bones #I just need more sleep and some time