#i really don't know why our school is still doing numerical grades | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

warmau · 3 years

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☆ friends-to-lovers!eric au tw: quite a bit of angst and unrequited love, suggestive themes, breakups, and alcohol

"when we went to the history museum for our last trip of eighth grade, eric and i snuck off into the egypt exhibit. we were the only ones there and i had never seen eric so afraid - so raw and vulnerable and clinging onto me for dear life - he was taller than me back then, yet he felt so small like i should have held him my palm and closed my fingers. i wanted nothing more than to keep him safe."

eric doesn't understand how to convert improper fractions to mixed numbers and that's the real reason why he becomes your best friend in the tenderfoot walls of your sixth-grade classroom

you like math and eric gags when you say that

he has friends everywhere and you only really talk and hang out with two other people

it shouldn't work, but it does

you mumble divide the numerator by the denominator in the shy voice of someone who still has a curfew

eric goes "OH!" like you've just told him the secret to life

in high school you become more open and confident

eric helps a lot with that, he pulls you out from the shadows, and soon enough you aren't afraid of the light that shines brightly from other peoples attention

you still really like math and eric still really hates it

you spend all four years over at his place before math tests trying to teach him the entirety of a months curriculum in the span of two hours

it's enough that he doesn't flunk any of his core classes - but you admit that most of the studying is just an excuse to hang out and watch tv and talk about all the gossip that happens when you're sixteen and have nothing to lose

it's also in high school that you get your first boyfriend

and it's in high school that eric realizes

oh shit, im in love with them?

it happens over spring break, eric bikes past your house and stops to ask your parents if you're home

your mother touches his shoulder softly and singsongs about how you're out on a date with some boy you met at the mall

eric learns about changmin when class starts again and you have hearts in your eyes and people are gasping when you walk by in the halls because changmin is in the year above you and he's on the school's tennis team

eric doesn't think that's impressive, he's on the soccer team and he can skateboard

he says this to sunwoo who eats his lunch in total silence as eric runs his mouth a mile a minute about every little thing he doesn't seem to like about changmin

"have you ever even talked to him?"

sunwoo finally points out, mouth half full of rice, and eric scrunches up his nose just at the notion

"no."

"then how do you know he's all those horrible things?"

eric picks his board up and leaves his lunch on the table to stalk off in response

sunwoo rolls his eyes and reaches for the leftovers

the big green monster that eric doesn't yet understand completely is jealousy rages on for the month you date changmin

eric hates that he isn't happy for you like everyone else seems to be and he wishes he could actually feel something that isn't a thunderstorm of anger, shame, and loneliness

he gets told it's puberty - his body shakes its head and explains that heartbreak can be a fickle thing

"don't be stupid, sixteen-year-olds don't fall in love."

your friend says to you when eric passes you in the hall in tears

he doesn't stop the natural reaction to squeeze past all the mumbling bodies to get to you and wrap his hands around your wrists

"eric?"

your voice is small and he hasn't properly spoken to you since you and changmin became....whatever

he's been doing so fucking bad in math

"what happened?"

"changmin and i broke up......he broke up with me....i don't know what i did wrong?"

eric confronts changmin who is laughing with some other upperclassmen outside of the gym, eric is shorter but he has slightly more muscle

of course - he's never been in a fight in his life

and when he asks changmin, what the hell his problem is, changmin doesn't get all in his face like eric thinks he should - like boys do in movies

his eyes just soften a little and he tells eric that he likes you, he does, but it's just he likes someone else a little more

eric doesn't wrap his head around that answer - who could changmin, actually who could anyone in the world, like more than you?

you're smart and you're kind and you're always putting other people first and you have lips that look like they'd taste faintly of peaches and eric lays in bed every day thinking about what it would be like to touch them you know.......with the pad of his finger or with his own mouth

he stares at changmin and changmin smiles back like he knows something better than eric does

eric decides he still doesn't like him but he walks away from the situation because he knows you can't fault people for falling in and out of love

but seriously - who in this school even measures up to you? changmin must be out of his mind.

eric repeats the sentiment to you when he's sitting criss-cross on your bedroom floor and you're rolling your eyes and telling him to shut up and do problem number five on the trig worksheet

in what feels like the blink of an eye, you and eric enter your senior year, and eric decides he's going to do something about how he feels

sunwoo claps him on the back as they skate into the school parking lot

"finally gonna ask them ou-"

his words die in his mouth when eric slides himself into a full stop in front of a student who has been puppy dog eyes for him since they transferred here last semester

they giggle when eric says something, sunwoo doesn't like where this is going

eric kicks his board up into his right hand and offers his left to them, sunwoo really doesn't like where this is going

eric turns to his friend over their shoulder before the couple disappears into the school doors, he gives him a thumbs up and sunwoo flips him off

what a goddamn idiot

you hit it off with eric's significant other right away

they're bubbly and they want you to tell them all about eric and you love eric (as a friend) so you're ready to spill the secret to making him happy

except when they start asking about specifics you don't know exactly what to say

"what's his favorite food, color, game, band, etc. etc. etc."

you know all the answers but those aren't the things you want to let them know about eric

you want to talk about the face he makes when you roll over and try to wake him up after you both fall asleep in the summer sweetgrass after camp, all nose twitching and hands up to shield his eyes from the sun

you want to talk about how eric actually hates big empty spaces because it makes him feel like he's lost, you want to say

you don't know how to describe it in words

the closest you get is that you want to tell them about eric's soul

you want to tell them they're the luckiest person in the world

to be loved by eric sohn is something ... magical, exceptional, all the adjectives you can cram into a sentence

but you don't because as much as you find yourself itching to share these details, you also for some reason find yourself selfishly hoarding them

they feel special and they feel intimate and like they are yours

but you are happy eric is happy, or at least he looks it

looks blissful and beautiful when he leans in to kiss his partner's temple, holds his big hands around their waist, helps them skate around the school parking lot

and one afternoon when you seek him out to ask how he did on a math final you have been helping him prepare for

you stumble on something you probably would have been better off never seeing

eric has his back against the wall of the gym building, fist in his mouth and eyes blown out and you see parts of his skin you haven't seen since you were too young to feel shame

if you hadn't stopped yourself out of habit you think you might have been caught by him and his partner

but your hand had flown over your mouth and you'd tripped backward in shock

when your heart had stopped racing, you'd found yourself in front of your locker and staring into the empty space at the back

sure im surprised, who wouldn't be - seeing their best friend like that? but what's this other stupid feeling in my gut?

"-jealous"

you jump back and see sunwoo beside you, popping gum and giving you a blank and long blink

"h-huh?"

"that idiot eric snuck out in the middle of physics and left me to die in that boring lecture. im so jealous, i want to sneak around instead of calculating the-hey are you ok?"

you slam your locker shut and sunwoo clicks his tongue at you with even more suspicion than before

you can't form a response so you just give him an abstract gesture toward the library

he nods and just as you vanish, eric appears red-faced and sweating over his shoulder

he opens his mouth, but then looks at your locker and back at sunwoo

"wait were you talking to-"

"ah there's prince charming - you left your backpack in physics."

after the 'incident' you subconsciously start to avoid eric

eric notices and stares at you from over the shoulder of his significant other or sunwoo

tries to catch you before you leave after school and texts you with questions about his math homework

you respond with lackluster links to youtube videos on formulas or just the answer in hopes he'll get a hint and give you space

but eric just looks confused and hurt when you bump into him in the halls

it's not his fault he doesn't know why you're like this - stop expecting him to read your mind!

you tell yourself, but don't act on it. don't make the effort to explain or let eric back in.

before you know it, it's the day of prom and you go stiff when your parents ask if you're going with eric

"why would i be going with him, we're just friends?"

"can't friends go with each other?"

you don't see eric the entire day and you assume he's getting ready for a memorable night with his date

sunwoo slides into the seat beside you at lunch without eric's laughter following behind him

"are you going?"

he asks and you look down into your plate

"probably not."

"do you want to go with me?"

sunwoo shows up (to your relief) in a suit and your parents know him as 'eric's friend'.

you drive to the school in silence and when you park you want to just get in there, show your face, and leave

when sunwoo stops you

for a second your stomach drops and you think he's going to confess, or worse, tell you that he knows

knows about how you really feel about eric.

knows that you might have been all happy and cheerful when eric started dating and having his own love life and then how that was just a veneer for the fact that you are too scared to cross the barrier of friendship and love for someone like eric.

someone you think for some reason you just don't deserve.

instead, he does neither

"let's not dance too much. i get tired easily."

"o-ok."

it's crowded and loud and you don't like the way the bass is turned up on the speakers

sunwoo doesn't seem to be too interested in anything other than his phone and you can't help but instinctively look around for eric

you talk to some friends, dance with a group of other people who came stag and then you see him

he's sitting next to sunwoo with his head in his hands

you've seen eric through thick and thin, you've seen him bruised up in the hospital after falling off his skateboard - you've seen him screaming his head off at the top of a rollercoaster - you've seen him red all the way up to his ears after being caught in a prank

but you've never seen him ....... like that

you rush over, sunwoo gives you a tilt of the head - silent but enough to let you know something is seriously wrong

"eric?"

"i don't want to be here anymore."

he lifts his head and the glitter under his eyelashes is wet and sparkling - his tie is done up the wrong way

"what happened? did you - did something-"

you don't know if you should ask if he got dumped or if he and his partner had a fight

either way, your assumptions are all wrong because sunwoo mouths to you

"he broke up with them."

and suddenly you don't understand - if eric is the one who broke up with them, why is he the mess?

sunwoo adds

"they didn't take it well."

you help eric up and if he wasn't so haggard with emotion - you would have lost your breath

his hair is cut nicely, slicked back and a pair of small hoop earrings highlight the way he's grown into the sharp, marble-like cut of his jawline

his lips are open just a bit, and they look softer in the low lighting than you ever remember

he's wearing the suit he wore to a cousins wedding two years ago but it's been tailored or maybe he's also grown wider

your mind swims through thoughts that you pretend don't exist about how strong he feels under your hands

"let's go outside, ok?"

"are you mad at me?"

eric asks through it all and your eyes widen

"no. i was just - i was just stressed about college, but we'll talk about that later."

outside you wipe eric's cheek with your sleeve and he starts to smile a little bit again

"why'd you break up with them?"

your voice is small, but he hears you even over the music that comes from inside

"i don't love them."

"how did you know?"

eric stares at you without a word.

he used to have eyes like a puppy that's always asking for a snack or a kiss, now that he's older the warm brown is still welcoming but it doesn't feel pleading anymore

right now you feel seen in a way you wouldn't categorize as friendly and that fact alone makes your heart beat a little louder in your ears

this is the first time in your life that you feel like eric is going to kiss you

after being friends for so long you feel like you're swaying back and forth between excitement and dread

did you know you didn't love them because you actually love -

a loud sound breaks both your concentrations, it comes from inside, and for a second you think someone set off fireworks or knocked over a display

but it's just the dj playing an obnoxious soundbite to announce the crowning of prom king and queen

eric gets up and inhales and you follow, about to ask if he wants to go inside and see

but eric takes his phone out and tells you he's going to text sunwoo that he's leaving

and that he's taking his date with him

"your date?"

"sunwoo's date."

it clicks for you and you laugh when eric suggests a drive to your favorite fast food place

you spend prom eating greasy fries and talking to eric about which college acceptions he's looking forward to the most even though you pretty much already know

not like you and him haven't divulged your dreams of the future to each other a hundred times before

eric tells you that he learned a new trick on his board and that he finally unblocked your ex-boyfriend changmin on instagram

you ask what that's all about - and eric snorts that he just didn't like his vibe from the beginning but it turns out he's ok

he doesn't mention the fact that changmin had sent him a message last year when he was graduating asking if eric could promise to take care of you

eric hadn't answered but knew intuitively what changmin had meant by 'take care' of you

you balance one long fry over the radius of your cup of diet cola and make the cutest face when it falls right in instead

you had thought about eric kissing you back in the parking lot, but right in that second is when eric wants to kiss you the most

the night ends with nothing of the sort - just you and eric and happiness that seems to have slipped through the cracks these past couple of weeks

when eric drops you off, your parents are bright eyed at the sight of him and it makes you embarrassed

when you get to your room you close the door and fall backwards onto your bed

eric's big smile comes to mind and it makes your chest feel like a frenzy of butterflies

you close your eyes and that smile turns to the face you'd caught eric making behind the gym and you have to sit up to shake it off

your skin is hotter to the touch, but you force yourself to ignore it

you graduate soon. there are other things to worry about than having seen your best friend......well.

eric ends up getting into his first choice which he says is all thanks to you because he would have totally flunked the math portion of the entrance tests if he hadn't had you pushing him through the woes of trigonometry

you also want to say something about him being on the soccer team all four years of highschool, but you keep that to yourself as he showers you with praise

you get your first choice too, it's different from eric's, but it's only a two-hour train ride away

when you both ask sunwoo where he got in he tosses the letter and you and eric nearly scream because when was he going to tell everyone that he got into SNU? eric says he didn't even know he applied!

one of the other seniors invites everyone to a post-graduation party and you and eric go together to pick up your gowns

and it all seems to be .......... better

you and eric are both going off to your dream schools (single and ready for adventure!) and you still have this day to cement another memory you're sure you'll look back on when you're older

the only issue is with all the bursting bubbly excitement you feel a ghost of something follow you around

are we going to drift apart now that we won't see each other every day? will eric still be my best friend?

you look at him and you don't see that ghost or those questions or anything but positivity and light

so you tell the ghost to fuck off and let you enjoy the time you two have left

of course, eric has the same ghost and when he tries to tell it to fuck off it just sneers big and nasty in his face

are we going to drift apart now that we won't see each other every day? will i still be their best friend?

eric gets too drunk at the party and jumps into someone's pool with his cap still on

sunwoo and you fish him out, scolding him and laughing at the same time

eric kisses sunwoo's cheek and turns to kiss yours too, he gets you on the corner of the lips

and then

you're both in college and it starts happening

eric is still that outgoing, talkative, and inviting kid who was bad at math

except now he's older and more handsome and even better at talking and he's studying criminal justice so he doesn't need math anymore

but you revert to old ways a little bit too much and throw yourself into your major with as much force as you can

you pile on classes and you ignore flirtatious glances from your partners for projects or the campus barista

it doesn't really make sense why you're doing it - you know you can handle a social life if you wanted it, but something about a new environment with no one you know around makes you feel weird

eric's instagram is flooded with new faces and old ones because he attempts to keep up even though you don't even try

you look at a photo of him and sunwoo, meeting up on a weekend at a skating event and it just hurts

it's been hurting to look at eric for a while now

and one day you realize you have had an unread text from him that's been sitting in your messages for over two weeks

you delete it with a shaking hand

"hey, you're in my pre-requisite class for linear algebra right?"

you blink and realize the voice is directed toward you, so you turn your head and see a blindingly handsome smile beam down at you

"y-yes im in math 240."

"i knew you looked familiar! im haknyeon and ive been wanting to ask for your help since the first week i am super bad at math but i need linear algebra for my major and so i wanted to know-"

his words jumble together, foggy in your brain until he's repeating himself and you nod along out of instinct

"so you'll do it?!"

you open your mouth and he grins wider

"do-do what?"

"tutor me?"

for a moment you're transported back to the sixth grade where eric is handing you his fractions worksheet with a frown

something twinges inside of your heart and you are about to say sorry, i can't help you

when haknyeon leans forward and plucks a stray leaf that's fallen onto your shoulder and his touch is light and full of sweetness

"looks like fall is really here!"

"ill tutor you."

haknyeon is like eric in a lot of ways, they have this high strung energy and when they're in a room they tend to attract people like they're the sun

but they're different too

haknyeon has a bit more maturity and focus, he talks about growing up in a rural area and understanding the concept of hardwork that seems to fly over the heads of other people

he is also what you would call undiscovered

unlike eric who has been there for every major life event up until now, haknyeon knows nothing about you and you know nothing about him

he's also better at math then eric ever was and at some point, you even suspect he's dumbing himself down to drag out your study sessions

you briefly catch him looking at the line of your neck one day when the heat is up too high in the study hall so you shrug off the baggy sweater you usually wear

maybe he likes me?

you wonder when you're working on a late night paper and your phone lights up with a text

haknyeon: just checked my score for our math test - an 86, you're turning me into a genius!

you smile but before you can reply another text comes in

eric: hey - long time no talk, are you doing ok?

eric knows he's popular

he knows that the people who hang around him are sometimes, more often than not, trying to get his attention in other ways than just casual

he doesn't get a big head about it or anything, but he's also never been good at rejection so he spends a lot of time putting himself in big group situations, making friends with everyone, being equally as nice to everyone

and when sunwoo asks if he's dating someone when they meet up eric just laughs

"dude im not interested in that right now."

"you're a freshman in college - so don't lie to me."

"so are you!"

sunwoo raises an eyebrow and turns his phone around to reveal his lockscreen - it's a photo of him and his partner and eric tackles him almost off the park bench

"since when!"

"since last week - now get off of me and tell me why you're really not dating anyone."

eric peels himself off of his friend and his own phone, full of notifications and college emails is devoid of the one person he wants to hear of the most

eric doesn't have to say your name for sunwoo to know

"just tell them-"

"they haven't responded to me in almost a month......i guess childhood friendship really doesn't matter when you grow up."

sunwoo wants to argue, but he has nothing to prove otherwise, he hasn't talked to you either

"hey. if that's true then you gotta stop jerking off pathetically to someone who you think isn't ever gonna love you-"

"dude ew c'mon-"

"eric, seriously - are you going to move on?"

you and eric continue to float on without each other

he pretends the hole in his heart shaped just like you isn't there and you get closer and closer to someone that isn't him

your first post on instagram after a while is a photo haknyeon took of you outside of the library, it was the consequence of a bet

you're holding your test and his - it's the same score - you had bet he wouldn't be able to get it and he did

your losing punishment was making a post on public social media confessing that haknyeon was just as good at math as you were

eric hovers over the photo when it pops up on his refresh

you're scowling, but even eric can tell it's fake. whoever took this photo is someone you like being around

eric wants to double tap and leave a comment about how grumpy you look

but the confidence and free caring attitude he prides himself on seems to disappear

is the person you're with more than a friend? is he what you've been so busy with?

fall turns to winter which turns to spring which starts its slow crawl to summer and to a long break after your first year as a quote-unquote adult

you and haknyeon are still just friends, you still haven't responded to eric and eric has given up on trying to get a hold of you

then you get a call from someone unexpected

"sunwoo?"

"are you going to visit home during your break?"

"no...why?"

"oh."

there's a long pause and you somehow feel dejavu - transported back to the silent car ride to prom

it had always felt like sunwoo knew your secret, it had always felt like sunwoo would be the one to break the ice first

you don't even recognize your voice in your head as it starts to taunt again

wishing he'd say something about eric? want to know if eric is going to visit home? want to ask if eric has been ok? eric? eric? eric? why are you calling me sunwoo why isn't it-

"just wanted to ask. hope you've been good, are you and that guy on your instagram dating?"

"hak-haknyeon? no we're not."

sunwoo makes a noise on the end of the line and tells you it was nice hearing from you

neither of you bring up eric.

haknyeon shows up at your dorm with a duffel bag over his shoulder on the last day of classes

"want to come to the beach with my friends and i, we have a place for the week and we have an extra spot."

"an extra room?"

he scratches the back of his neck and shakes his head, "n-no you'd have to share with me."

something tells you this is the pivotal moment you have been praying for

something that will set the trajectory of your life that's been consumed with studying and loneliness to something better, something brighter, something sweeter

you want to fall in love with haknyeon, the little voice in your head pleas, so just say yes

but you don't. you lie and say you have plans with your family and haknyeon hangs his head in disappointment

as he waves and heads down the hall - you also realize that you aren't going to get a second chance

haknyeon - whether or not he likes you or not - is going to go to this beach vacation and wash you off of him in the rolling waves

someone else is going to come and steal his attention

"just like highschool."

you mutter and lock the door behind you

your cheeks are wet with tears before you can even process the fact that you've started to cry

eric's ears ring the entire time he's waiting in the airport

his parents and university soccer coach had agreed, without much of his consent. that it would be good for him to attend this soccer camp during the break from his studies

it's in germany and he's supposed to be going with three other teammates who are running late to board

he looks down at his shoes and the laces are mismatched, one is the original pair from these sneakers and the others are a way flashier neon purple

suddenly your voice fills his head

"hey, are you serious about going skating in sneakers without laces eric?!"

"they're not without laces - i just lost the laces off my left one but they're perfectly good sneakers and i haven't rubbed the soles off the bottom like i have with every other pair!"

"don't be stupid, if they fall off in the middle of a trick and you eat shit and end up in the hospital you're going to be bothering me for chicken soup. here take these."

"these are NEON purple!"

"just like your personality, here let me fix your sneakers-"

without thinking about it his feet start to move and he doesn't know where the nearest bus or train is that's going to take him where he wants to go

but it doesn't matter - he just knows that germany is not where he's supposed to be, at least not now, not when he thinks about what he's going to give up again

what he's been giving it up since he was a scraggly kid, since he couldn't do multiplication in his head and since he understood what it was like to watch his heart break over and over again

you are in the middle of packing your bag when someone knocks on your door again

you half assume it's going to be haknyeon again, or maybe a little part of you wants it to be him so you can have another shot at moving on

but when you open the door you forget to wipe your face and eric is meet with your puffy-eyed expression

"why are you crying?"

he blurts out and his backpack falls from his shoulders as you feel your throat go dry

"are you hurt? is there someone i should go kill?"

your trying to say something - force a word or even a hiccup up and out of your mouth

"i haven't seen you cry since you got second place in that math competition when we were fifteen, i didn't think-"

"eric?"

you say his name like it's foreign and eric thinks a knife would hurt less being lodged into his side

"hey, yeah it's me."

"why are you - why are you here?"

because i love you, i have loved you since i almost threw a punch at that kid changmin for daring to say there was anyone else in the world he could love that wasn't you.

"i don- i just-"

his eyes fall on your open suitcase

"are you going home for the break?"

"are you?"

"no, im supposed to be in germany."

you sound out the word germany in response and he just stands there in the doorframe too scared to go inside

this is your room - but it isn't your bedroom, the room that he knows and has been in a million times - this is different so it feels like he can't tread with ease

your body blocks his way and you don't show any intention of moving

so you both stand in limbo for a moment before you sniffle back whatever tears were left and go

"should we go somewhere to talk?"

it's the museum you went to when you were in the sixth grade, not that you and eric even really think about that fact - just that it's the closest thing near your university that you could think of

cafes felt too close and intimate, parks felt too expanse and strange

a museum was the perfect place - you and eric could talk, but not lean in too close and not raise your voices in fear of disturbing others

the issue though is that it's pretty much empty and the egypt exhibit is still the same

"im not scared anymore!" he jokes - pointing a hand at a wall of mannequins dressed as pharaohs "i just remembered that i was clinging onto you for dear life last time we were here."

you nod and look at your hands - you had been packing that bag to go home, you thought sunwoo had dropped a hint that eric would be there too

you had wanted to plan out what to say when you got there on the trip back

you wanted to be prepared, but as always he'd bulldozed that plan to shreds

and now it was kind of awkward, like picking at a fresh wound on your knee

"hey- can i ask you something."

"oh - sure?"

"why haven't you texted me back."

eric stops and so do you and you're in the part of the exhibit that's the darkest because it's overshadowed by a large sculptured pyramid

you can see shadows on half of his face - he looks sad and you wish you could do anything to make him laugh

"i just didn't want to bother you."

"bother me? you're my best friend-"

"we're not best friends anymore."

eric takes the hit that you don't mean to throw out, it just comes out because it's what you're feeling

"no-not that i don't want to be, it's just you moved on - so fast - became everything and more eric and im not like that. im not super great at new places, things, and people."

"i know."

he steps closer to you and there's a weight on your shoulders that feels gross and shameful but eric crouches forward a little like he's got some kind of weight on him too.

"you're shy and you sometimes self yourself short - you don't see yourself for everything you're worth so you avoid conversations and interactions that might turn out bad."

he says the words like a grown up and you almost can't believe it's really him

"i knew that when we were younger - and you knew it too, you knew that under all the class clown antics and open hearted idiocy i was also insecure and scared and..and bad at math."

"you were never an idiot eric - don't say that about yourself."

he swallows and his lips don't stretch into a smile like you thought they would

he looks at you and you think as much as it hurts in this moment, your blood boils at the sight of him

he's everything someone could dream of - all perfect lines and hard-earned slim muscule

"it feels like i was and like i am because maybe im not good at math or whatever but i also was never good at understanding my feelings and like an idiot i confused everything in my heart for - "

he stops himself and you bite your tongue because you don't know how that sentence is going to finish

"if i tell you how i feel, will you promise you'll tell me how you feel truthfully?"

"feel about what?"

"feel about you - if i tell you what ive really felt about you since i can remember, will you promise to tell me the truth and only the truth about what you've felt about me?"

someone scuttles by you two - pushes past and through the long exhibit hall before turning the corner and disappearing

it gives you the ten or so seconds to steady your breathing and agree

"i promise."

eric's phone rings in his pocket and his ringtone is still the same, the one he set for his mother

you guess she's probably calling to find out why he isn't in germany and you almost tell him to pause and pick up because she is his mother

but eric lets the call go silent and he looks at you again

"i have loved you for a long time - at one point i thought it was the way a friend loves someone, maybe even a brother but then i knew that it was different because i didn't want your help with fractions and i didn't want to be your buddy during camp i wanted to kiss you the way people kissed other people in movies. when i thought about someone else doing it, even sunwoo, i thought i would throw up - and i did once when you kissed that guy at one of those dances we had during the summer - not the point, but the point is-"

"i love you too. i knew when i saw you and your partner at the time behind the gym and they were giving you a-"

the blaring voice of the main desk comes on and over the museum speakers, it tells you there is fifteen minutes left before closing

eric seems paralyzed by your admission and you think you're a teenager again with the way your heart leaps in your throat

"oh."

"yeah. oh."

when eric kisses you for the first time there is so much force behind it that you're scared you're gonna topple over and ontop of the glasses cases full of ancient egyptian jewels

you have to clutch his shoulders and dig your nails in just to let him know that as excited as he is the museum is closing in fifteen - well fourteen minutes now and it'd be creepy to do anything more than talk in front of all these pharaohs

eric laughs so loud it echoes seemingly through the whole building, you two get an annoyed look from the guard at the door when you blunder out of there giggling and holding hands

you agree you two should go back to your hometown for the rest of the break, but before you do you head back to your dorm

and eric is kissing you again before you're even through the door

and when you ask in the middle, out of breath and hair a mess

"where did you learn to kiss like that?"

he grins

"i know you really well - did you think i wouldn't guess the ways in which you want to be loved too?"

it's the kind of line you think you'd both gag at if you heard it in a movie

but that just earns eric a swoon-worthy look and your hand back around his neck

sunwoo is not surprised to see you and eric all cuddled up close when you all meet up back in your hometown

he looks between you two and shakes his head

"it took you two so long, i thought i'd be waiting till we were in our fifties."

you and eric are too infatuated with each other to answer the snark with anything except

"hey sunwoo - you'll be at our wedding right?"

sunwoo groans, which just translates to

wouldn't miss it for the world, idiots.

#hahahhaha look at me jane austen in this bitch #the boyz au #eric soh au #eric au #the boyz eric #eric #they boyz imagines #the boyz reactions #tbz au #tbz scenarios #tbz imagines #eric x reader #idk...................um

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hyukmoon · 3 years

Text

Class trip.

Synopsis | you're a teacher going along on a trip for a week with your class and a colleague you despised for a good amount of time now. Things turn around and you don't know what to think about him anymore.

Teacher!Xiaojun x Teacher!gn!Reader

warnings | kissing is the most rated things happening in this, all over awkwardness from you, terrible humor, pretty much just fluff and a there's only one bed situation

word count | 2.2k

things to note | this is the first thing I wrote here, so I'm open to constructive criticism, also [P/A] means prefered form of address bc you're a teacher and all that (not proofread yet)

Let’s preface this. You never really wanted to go onto this trip. You genuinely loved the children in your class, but to go onto this trip for an entire week seemed to be a compromise in the least. Neither were the other teachers your preferred ones nor was it your say where the class trip was going to take place. To be honest, you even found the colleague you were going with a bit annoying.

“It can’t be this bad, you might even enjoy it there. Our fellow colleague is pretty to look at and the worst that could be happening on that trip is that one of the children puts their finger into a pencil sharpener again.”, your friend Yasmin and also, teacher said. Your tired face was working, she shut up. Of course, your fellow colleague was incredibly handsome.

You would and could never argue against that, yet every time you heard their kind and expressive voice you felt like you were blinded by the sun. He just seemed to exude everything you lacked. It is not that you weren’t a good teacher, every time you were out of breath or already done with everything only half through the day, he almost smiled compassionately at you sometimes even winked for that matter.

Xiao dejun, who also went by Xiaojun was the topic of your discussion, a man that handsome you wouldn’t be able to make up in your dream and smart enough to make up for every “inconvenience” you faced with him.

Well, he was that smart to bring you coffee every morning into teachers lounge, share his chewing gum with you and sometimes write you notes if you seem stressed. “Jeez, what’s your problem in the first place? I’m kinda sure he is into you. Every time he looks at you, he literally has heart eyes and bringing you coffee every morning? Please.”, she rolled her eyes at you.

“I don’t think so, I just subbed some of his classes a few times. You know how nice he is.”, nervously you now shy away from looking into Yasmin’s eyes.

Xiaojun didn’t like you, you would feel terrible if he did. Tweaks of shame overcame you; this trip was not going to work out.

Fully packed and all over suspiciously you started counting again the fourth graders on the bus while also having a very good view of the chocolate brown hair of the teacher going along on the field trip. This time his hair didn’t fully cover his forehead, his glasses eyeing you as well. Suddenly his hands tapped on the seat next to him. Heat rose up to your cheeks gradually making it harder to move forward to sit next to Xiaojun. “Mila’s parents called me, she’s sick so don’t worry about her. Just sit down [Y/N], I brought some tea.”, he smiled while pointing at his thermos can. “Uh, sure. I have some cookies with me if you want.”, the last sentence closely sounding like a question as you quietly took the seat next to him.

Not only were you now stunned about the fact that there was a possibility for him to view you in a light like this in spite of you being so passive towards him in the past. Yet there is still the lingering feeling far, far up in your head that you were only imagining things and Xiaojun read everything wrong. “Are you feeling well? We can also sit farther in the front if you feel better there- “, he worriedly stroked your shoulder. “No, it’s completely fine. Just fine.”, you interrupted his ramble and put up your mouth into a cramped smile. His eyes returned that favor, crinkling up into a smile as well.

The bus drive didn’t take as long as you might have thought, your counterpart on the excursion was more than enough to keep you on your toes. Casual glances along a few accidental brushes over your hand kept you in your seat. Now counting again all the children in the lobby of the youth hostel you anxiously eyed Xiaojun again. The amount of children matched up, so your job was done for now, you were most likely only seeing them for dinner. The only thing to do for you now was to go up to your room and contemplate how to not have a physical reaction every time your favorite colleague called your name. Very obvious, you had of course no crush on him or anything like that. He was just blessed with beautifully shaped eyebrows and a voice that could make the worst words you knew sound like a ballade. You moved up from the hotel lobby with some of the grade schoolers to the elevator.

"[P/A] [L/N], do you think when I make Lasagna with my mum it’s the same as cake?”, Xia, a girl from Xiaojun’s music class asked while her classmates giggle about her question. A few loud no’s were to be heard with the occasional high pitched laughs from her friends. “That is a very good question I have never thought about before”, you stopped for a second, what exactly does it mean to be a cake? It is still baked in an oven with layers and contains the tomato sauce as frosting? “I am pretty sure it is. Even though I’ll talk to you about it tomorrow though, I am not a baking expert. I promise I’ll look it up for you, yes?”, you were pretty content with your answer. “Hmmm. Okay. They wanted me to ask.” Xia answered while pointing at the three boys in the back of the elevator which earned her some distraught faces from her classmates. The familiar sound of the elevator bell ringed. “Anyways, if you have as burning questions as these please come to me or …, we’re happy to help. Also, if you feel homesick or sick, I’m always in my room, just knock.” As soon as the last syllable was said stormed the children to their respective rooms and left you there looking at their body shaped dust cloud remembering the cartoons you watched at their age.

You walked down the long corridor towards the light brown lacquered door which showed in golden numerals written the 420. Your shoulders visibly sank down, finally you were able to take a nap. The door opened and closed maybe a millisecond later. Seeing a wide back heaving some shirts on to the rooms ear chair made you catch your breath. His glasses missing and his usually kempt hair was now chaotically drifting across his forehead into separate directions. More importantly though, he was most likely about to put on a fresh shirt, and you stood across the dark brown carpet in the door with a perplexed face.

“Sorry!”, you yelled and closed the door to just sink down with it in your back. Xiaojun packing out his suitcase along his pullover wasn’t what you were expecting to after talking about lasagna and wanting to fall asleep for at least good 30 minutes to then decide if it’s worth it to start to watch a movie. Yet you were barely discussing the fact that he was in your room. Neither did it make sense nor were you able to really comprehend the situation right now.

The door opened and you jumped up onto your feet. “[Y/N]? Why were you in my room?”, Xiaojun quiet voice slid through the gap of the door. “I swear there’s an explanation to this. I think they might have given me the wrong keys or something like that, I didn’t look at you or anything-”, he interrupted your nervous chatter to push the door open and face your confused state. “It’s fine, we’ll figure it out together.”, the usual quirky smile you normally saw when he was trying to cheer up one of his students appeared on his face. Your breath stopped at the together while a comfortable warm feeling churned in your stomach.

“Then let’s go downstairs and work it out with the staff!”, he gifted you another wink which not only gave you the final confidence to grab onto his arm before heading again into the elevator but to for the first time give him a wink back.

“The school only booked one room for the teacher. I can’t really do that much about it, most rooms are already full and other guests will arrive tomorrow, so I’m very sorry for the inconvenience.”, the hotel worker returned to the computer in front of them. “What are we supposed to do now?”, you sighed and gazed at the visibly pondering man. “Honestly, no idea. There isn’t much we can do, so I guess we could talk about it in my room?”

The walk to his room had to be filled with an uncomfortable silence, neither you nor he were able to say something that made the current situation less painfully horrendous. Almost as if the newly gained confidence left your body, you didn’t even dare to make more than an unfunny joke about your nonexistent room or more like transferred room for another alone soul. His room was already coddled with the scent of freshly washed clothes along his close to quiet cologne. “So here we are.You take the bed and I’ll sleep on the ground.”

“This is so inappropriate, dear god.”, you started to sigh again caressing your temples. “Also, no, please take the bed, the school probably forgot to book another room because I said yes to this trip so late.” Even though Xiaojuns throat seemed to struggle a bit with his next proposition, it was still loud and clear what he said. “We can also share the bed... We’re two grown adults.” He laughed awkwardly; you were pretty much speechless.

“Yeah, of course. Two adults. Nothing to worry or think about.”, you tried to brush off any thought you could possibly have about your opposition. No thoughts about his warm breath in your neck while holding you loosely in his sleepy state to waking up to his beautifully messy bed hair in the morning.

“I’ll take a shower if you don’t mind, some of the children were kinda fussy today and I just need a few minutes.” You nodded and unpacked your suitcase, followed by changing into some comfortable shorts and large shirt.

The second you were done; you sank into the still cold sheets of the large bed. He didn’t make you wait for him very long, barely noticeable however his eyes rested on you when he entered the small apartment again.

Neither did it take too long to sit along with you on the bed. “Are you sure you’re comfortable with us doing this?”, his soft voice hit you unexpectedly. “I can also sleep on the floor, or we switch everyday to do it.” You shook your head simply and crawled up the bed to make yourself comfortable under the duvet. “I’m so tired, just don’t steal the blanket, okay?”, barely able to keep your eyes open you sank even more into the mattress.

You really thought it would be easy to sleep next to him, yet the thought of holding his face in your hands didn’t leave your mind. Even asleep he had a stunning presence around him. “[Y/N]? Do you like me?”, Xiaojun turned around to see your surprised expression. “Of course, I do. I just thought that because you were so good at everything, you did all of these things just to spite me.”, you quietly confessed. “[Y/N], I wanted you to like me. You’re a wonderful teacher and I really admire you. You’re so funny with the other colleagues and generally so, so gorgeous.” Xiaojuns eyes lingered on your lips. They stayed there.

“Can I kiss you?” You nodded. His lips brushed softly across your bottom one. You took the opportunity to gain closeness to his warm side before shifting your hands onto his back. Slowly you began to pepper small kisses along his jawline resulting in a small whine from his side. His hands started to wander across your waist to rest on your lower back and pull you in even closer.

Not a lot longer after he started to skim your neck with his teeth. You rested your head now in his freshly scented neck. Again, his lips on yours moving over to just behind your earlobe, nipping on it and breathing into your ear: “Do you want me to continue?” Still resting his soft lips on your ear goosebumps rose up your spine. Waiting for another hint of pressed lips against your skin your arms lethargically crawled up and grazed his cheeks.

“Ah right, the children.”, your voice hitched he was still so close to you. “We could discuss this maybe on a date?”, he looked almost hopeful when his dark and strangely staring eyes met yours in the dim lit room.

“Us kissing and almost doing the deed? Sure. I’m much better at physical presentations though.” You pressed a delicate kiss against his lips. “Since when so provocative?”

“You bring it out in me.” “I’m glad it’s me and no one else then.”, he smiled into the kiss he gave you now. Not long from this you actually found the peace and quiet to fall asleep in his embrace.

#wayv xiaojun #wayv #wayv fluff #wayv x reader #wayv scenarios #wayv fanfic #xiaojun #xiaojun x reader #xiao dejun #xiao dejun x reader #wayv oneshots #xiaojun wayv #xiaojun fanfic #xiaojun scenarios #fluff #xiaojun fluff #xiaojun x y/n #xiaojun x you

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vermillioncrown · 3 years

Note

Science sounds like so much fun (and also a lot of work tbh) *sigh* if only my younger self wasn’t so intimidated by STEM

for a short ask, there's a whole book of unwritten implications following behind it and i gotta ramble (why else would you ask me if not to see me keysmash)

it's never too late. my friend was the same way; shit grades in STEM subjects, being told over and over she sucked at math, and it hurt her a lot since we attended the 'smart' school of the district. there were Standards™️ and that's enough to drive anyone off.

fast-forward a couple of years, she's started STEM programs at her local library, now creates curriculum for non-profits, got an associate's degree

it's bc she had 1) better instructors in college (local community colleges are a great resource) 2) interest in drones for videowork (she was a media/comms major) 3) people to support her figuring things out and not gatekeeping

i hate the way that STEM is glorified. it is just another subject, as w humanities--we just tend to be wow'd by things w immediate 'fun' results. a bajillion maker YouTube vids. cool art. intricate prose. music. on and on.

but, ultimately...

there are fun parts to every field and the rest is the mundane work into getting there. and it's all important. your brain is thinking in different ways. creativity. synthesis. abstraction.

i don't deal well w connecting abstract concepts together, but am great at detecting concrete patterns (numbers). it shows obviously in my immense suckage at abstract strategy games, but i have never lost the tactics-leaning game Scythe. i can't draw. not a truly creative person.

and likewise, i think there are things that you do that others wish they did or could do.

if you want to learn some STEM-related stuff, i encourage you to do so. the intimidating thing in any field is feeling like you don't "speak the language", that the proficiencies needed to handle it give the field its own "culture" that's unforgiving to the ignorant. ignore that, accept you are starting from the bottom and in a discombobulated manner.

find a concrete project or topic. science isn't a monolith. what do you actually like? start breaking down the concepts that you'll need to do it. and those become little piecewise topics you can start digesting. of course, without formal instruction that guarantees that you'll learn the necessary information and skills for that field, it's all just hobbyist-level. it's still more than you knew before. or maybe you'll find you liked certain ideas and fun in STEM, but it wasn't what you really wanted.

ie: boyfriend likes miniatures. got into 3d printing and maker space stuff. he now knows more about machining and manufacturing than i do, and i fucking got a degree in that.

ie: he also likes synth music and has knowledge in making music and synthesizers. i have basic knowledge of circuitry. between us, we might start dabbling in making modular synth parts, even tho technically that's some electrical engineering expertise and i almost failed circuits.

ie: the amt of shit i wish i could do, wish i learned bc it looked fun... and then i got over myself (have to keep continuing to get over myself) and go do it. numerous. it's why i write fanfic, even tho i don't consider myself a writer (not even as a hobbyist)

so. uh . STEM being fun - so are other things; we can only do so much in our lives; we all live as min-max characters; blah blah self-acceptance; don't be afraid to learn; don't be afraid to change.

ugh this got very long and unfocused, but I'm not about to revise a tumblr ask into a concise essay lol

#if you saw me day to day you'd think i was being paid to subject myself to torture #it only seems 'fun' bc we as a society go 'oOoOOoo space~ so badass~'#i'm not even doing the cool part which is what manufacturing engineers and technicians do #and even they don't machine everything #science is so expansive; both incredible and mundane #it just is and the more ppl got that #the easier it'd be to talk about it and learn and understand what's important #redglyphs #inquiry #Anonymous #ugh i really am an inarticulate fuck and prob lost the plot here but the way this q implies things #it gets me going bc i hear it irl all the time #anon i think there are things that u do that r prob way more fun and excting compared to staring at code #or looking at mold grow #but a subset of us enjoy that too which is why we're here #igh idk idk

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klaineanummel · 6 years

Text

eighteen going on extinct 11/20

Kurt Fabray just wants to relax after a tough week at school, but that is shown to be impossible when he realizes that his absent father has once again blown into town. Not wanting to spend more time around him than necessary, Kurt goes to his old babysitters house, the one place he feels safe when his father is in town. While there, he stumbles upon a secret he knows he was never meant to find out - one that could change the entire course of his life.

An AU very loosely based on Mamma Mia.

Hello everybody!!!! I'm so sorry that it's been so long since I posted. My wifi is super spotty right now, and will continue to be for at least the next two weeks. Because of that, I'm posting two chapters today (chapter 12 will come shortly after this one) and I might post one tomorrow, since I don't actually know when I'll be able to post again after that (potentially not until November 7 or 8, but I might be able to squeeze a chapter in in-between).

Warning that you're not going to be happy with Quinn in this chapter, but I hope you will try and be empathetic as well. Abusive relationships, even if the abuse is emotional and not physical, are difficult, and people in them don't always make the best decisions.

I hope you enjoy, and I'll see you in a bit with chapter 12!

Previous Chapter | Read on AO3

Monday morning dawns bright and early, and Kurt is surprised when he opens his bedroom door to find his mom sitting on the couch, a large bowl of cereal in her lap.

“Mom?” he asks, taking a cautious step toward her. “What are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

She shakes her head. “Called in,” she whispers. “I couldn’t… the thought of being there…”

“Hey,” Kurt says, hurrying to her side. “It’s okay. I get it. Last night was rough.”

Her eyes begin to water, and Kurt pulls her close to him, though he makes sure to keep his burnt hand (covered in an old strip-cloth bandage to keep the numerous burn dressings – which their next-door neighbor miraculously had – in place) elevated and away from her body.

“He was just drunk,” his mom says, though Kurt isn’t sure if she’s speaking to him or to herself. “He was just drunk.”

“Exactly, mom. He was drunk. After he specifically told you he wasn’t going to fall off the wagon again.”

“I provoked him.”

“No,” Kurt says, shaking his head. “No, stop right there.”

“It’s true, I did.”

“No, it’s not, and you know it. He’s the dick, not you. Remember what you told me last time he got drunk? That I didn’t put the beer in his hand or shove it down his throat?”

She shakes her head fondly and smiles up at him despite the tears in her eyes. “Why did I raise you to be so smart?”

“Rookie mistake?”

“That’s gotta be it,” she says, leaning back in close to him. “How’s your hand?”

Kurt doesn’t get to respond, though. The door opens slowly, and the sound of boots walking in rings through the apartment.

Puck peeks past the wall separating the living room and the kitchen, and Kurt feels his jaw tense.

“Um. Hey.”

“You,” Kurt hisses, but before he can say anything else, Quinn is out of his arms and running at Puck.

Kurt hopes more than anything that she will slap him across the face and force him right back out.

Of course, that isn’t what happens.

“You came back,” she says, throwing her arms around Puck’s middle and hugging him close.

“Of course I did,” Puck says, his own arms coming around Kurt’s mom. Kurt’s stomach turns at the mere sight. “I was… Fuck, Quinn, I was so stupid last night. I don’t know why I said that. I don’t even know why…” He shakes his head, then pulls Quinn away from him so they’re looking into each others’ eyes. “It’s the last time, okay? I’m never going to get like that again.”

“I’ll help you, okay? Just like last time. I’ll help you get better.”

“I’m so fucking sorry, Quinn,” Puck says, pulling her close once more.

Kurt can’t watch any longer. “Hello?” he calls out, standing up. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Puck takes a deep breath, then brings Quinn to his side, keeping an arm firmly at her side. “Kurt,” he says. “I’m really sorry about last night. I was out of line, both before and after I got drunk.”

“That means nothing to me,” Kurt says. “Mom, are you fucking kidding me? You’re just going to forget everything he did? Just like that?”

“Kurt…” she pleads.

“No, it’s okay, I get it,” Puck says, and fuck this suddenly super-understanding guy. Kurt wants to rip his throat out. “He’s angry. It’s fair. I wasn’t nice to you, or to him. But I’m going to change.”

“Did you fuck a therapist or something last night?” Kurt bursts. “Mom, you’re not seriously buying this, are you?”

“Kurt, he’s being sincere,” she says, but Kurt doesn’t want to hear it.

“Yeah, just like he was being sincere when he was apologizing for fucking my second-grade teacher. Just like he was being sincere when he apologized for taking our rent money and skipping town two days later, fucking off for a year-and-a-half. Just like he was sincere when he apologized for only sending one child support check a year for the past eighteen fucking years. Mom. He’s always goddamn sincere when he apologizes, and then he does the same thing all over again.”

Puck’s jaw twitches, and Kurt points to it instantly.

“See? He’s so fucking sincere, but he’s dying to deck me right now.”

“Kurt!” Quinn shouts. “Your father is not dying to deck you.”

“Oh, so he’s my father again, huh?” Kurt scoffs. “You know, fuck this. I’m going to be late for school.”

He goes back to his room, ignoring their murmuring as he goes. They manage to leave him alone for as long as it takes for him to change, but as soon as he’s shoving his shit into his backpack, his mom is knocking on his door and peaking in.

“Kurt, can we talk about this?”

He turns around, shoving his backpack onto his bed forcefully. “It’s never going to stop, is it?” he asks. “You know I finally thought you were realizing what a piece of shit he is. How he pits us against each other, always tries to make it him versus me. I thought you were finally realizing how you always fucking choose him, and that maybe that isn’t okay. But turns out all it takes is a couple of ‘I’m sorry’s’ and soulful puppy dog eyes, and you’re back in his arms like you’re fucking sixteen again.”

“Kurt, you don’t understand,” Quinn says, shutting the door behind her with a silent click. “He made a mistake.”

“He made a thousand fucking mistakes,” he says, arms raising in the air. His eye catches on his bandaged hand and he waves it in front of her. “How about this, huh? How about the fact that he fucking lunged at me and I burnt my goddamn hand moving away from him?”

“That’s not how that went, Kurt,” she says, keeping her voice far too calm.

“Oh, right. So, I just fucking backed up against the burner for no reason, because I’m that stupid.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Well, whatever you are saying, I don’t want to hear it,” he says. “I’m tired of this shit.” He shakes his head. “I’m going to Finn and Rachel’s after school today.”

“Kurt --”

“No,” he says, turning around and zipping his backpack up, then slinging it over his shoulder. “I need some time away, from him, and from you.”

Her eyes fill with tears, and she reaches forward to him. “Kurt, please.”

“Stop, mom,” he says, dodging her attempt at contact. “Just stop. I get it now,” he shakes his head. “No matter what happens, no matter what you say… you’re always going to choose him.”

“Kurt,” she pleads, but Kurt is done.

He pushes past her out of his bedroom and out into the living room. Puck is still standing there, staring down at his nails like he can’t wait for this all to be over. Kurt scoffs. Yeah, he thinks, sincere apology, my ass.

“You,” he says, pointing an accusing finger at the man. “You better smarten the fuck up.”

“Look, Kurt, I told you I was –”

“No, you look,” he spits. “You somehow got the most amazing woman in the world to love you despite the fact that you are a literal piece of human garbage.” He can feel his mother’s eyes on him, but he refuses to look back at her. “You better start to treat her fucking right, or I will actually beat the shit out of you; even if the test proves that you are my father.”

Puck doesn’t say anything, seemingly stunned at the threat of violence. Kurt is a bit stunned himself. He’s never considered himself a violent person before, but right at this second, staring up into the eyes of the man who has ruined and continues to ruin his mother’s life, all he feels is the urge to punch.

He pushes past Puck before the man can regain his sense of speech, walking out of the apartment and letting the door close with an audible slam. He hurries down the hall and down the stairs, wanting to get out of there as soon as he can.

Somehow, he ends up at the bus stop earlier than he usually would and has to wait a good fifteen minutes before the bus rolls up. He jumps on, slumping into a seat near the back entrance, as per usual, and shoving his backpack beside him. He bounces his leg to the music in his earphones, anger flowing through him.

He’d texted Finn about the situation as soon as he got to the bus stop, but he hasn’t heard back from him yet. He guesses the man is preparing his lessons for the day, so he doesn’t mind; he just hopes he gets it in time to tell Kurt if it won’t work.

A couple of people glance at his hand as the bus fills, but Kurt just sneers at them. Whatever. He’s already been the topic of the school’s useless gossip mill for the past few weeks. Might as well give them something else to talk about.

The bus finally reaches Blaine’s stop and the boy gets on, flashing his bus pass with a small smile before heading right to where Kurt is sitting. Kurt pulls his earphones out of his ears, already feeling his spirits lift a little.

“Whoa,” Blaine says as soon as he sees Kurt. “What – Your hand!”

“Yeah,” Kurt nods, pulling his backpack onto his own seat. “I burnt it pretty bad.”

“On what?!” Blaine takes cups Kurt’s injured hand gently between his own, as though his touch alone will help to heal it.

“Stove,” Kurt says. “I’m going to have a wicked scar.”

“What in the world happened?” Blaine asks, hands closing softly over Kurt’s, cradling it in his warmth. Despite everything, Kurt can’t help but smile.

“I got into a fight with Puck while I was making supper,” he says. “He moved toward me aggressively and, like a moron, I backed away right into the lit burner.”

Blaine tuts, shaking his head. “You’re not a moron. I’d be scared, too, if an angry man was advancing on me,” he brings Kurt’s hand up to his lips and presses a kiss over the bandaged palm. “There,” he says, grinning. “All better.”

“Thank you,” Kurt says, missing the warmth of Blaine’s hands as soon as he takes them away. “It feels better.”

“Well, that’s what I’m here for,” Blaine replies with a wink. “Seriously, though, are you okay? Burn aside.”

Kurt shrugs, hugging his backpack closer to his chest. “I don’t know,” he admits. “I’m obviously pissed as hell at Puck, but I’m also kind of pissed at my mom.” He frowns as the words come out of his mouth, almost tasting wrong. “I hate that,” he says. “I hate being mad at my mom.”

Blaine puts a hand on his shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Kurt glances around the bus, shaking his head. “Not here,” he says.

“Oh, so we’re putting a stop to all the deep talks on the bus?” Blaine asks, voice lilting teasingly. “Because I was really excited to tell you more about my childhood on the bus ride home.”

“Guess you’ll just have to tell me at lunch instead,” Kurt winks.

Blaine chuckles. “Only after you tell me why you’re mad at your mom.”

Kurt presses his lips together for a moment, then nods. “Deal.”

By the time lunch time rolls around, Kurt is ready to pull his hair out. People have been staring at him and whispering all goddamn day. They keep staring at his bandaged hand and then turning to their friends and mumbling to each other.

He’s sick of it.

“I fucking burned it,” he snaps at a couple of freshmen, who instantly turn bright red and look away.

“Rough day, huh?” Blaine asks as he walks up to Kurt’s locker. If anything, his being there only seems to make people turn to each other and whisper harder.

“Would have been better if people didn’t keep whispering about me right in front of my goddamn face,” he says, loud enough for everybody doing exactly that to hear.

“Oh, yeah,” Blaine says, a fake smile appearing on his face. “Apparently you’re hot news again.”

“My stupid hand, right?”

“A little,” Blaine replies as they start to walk down the hall. “I’m part of it, too.”

“Really, now?”

“Yep,” Blaine’s smile widens. “Apparently you’ve officially hit rock bottom, going from the Incredible Scott Smith to little ol’ me. So far I’ve heard people whispering about how I’m not as hot as, or as smart as, or as athletic as, or as rich as, or as good in bed as their all-powerful overlord.” His face becomes even more manic, eyes expanding impossibly. “I don’t even want to know how they figure the last one.”

“Christ,” Kurt rolls his eyes. “So, I went from not being good enough for Sebastian to being too good for you? What the literal hell.”

“I know, right? How fun is this school?”

Kurt snorts. “Why do you think you’re my only friend?”

“Not for my looks, brains, athleticism, money, or sexual abilities, that’s for sure.”

They find an empty classroom and head inside, falling into two desks at the far side of the room.

“It’s so goddamn stupid,” Kurt says. “Like, why does anybody even care about me? Sebastian’s gone, they can leave me alone now.”

“Apparently not,” Blaine shakes his head. He opens his lunch bag, then stops and gives Kurt a look he doesn’t like at all. “Actually, before I forget, I need to tell you what people are saying about your hand.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Kurt rolls his eyes. “Fine, lay it on me.” Blaine looks apprehensive, so Kurt just says, “Blaine, I’d rather hear it from you then from one of the dipshits on the football team. Just tell me.”

“Yeah, so,” Blaine clears his throat. “The rumor going around is that your mom caught us in bed together and got so mad she broke your wrist.”

“What the fuck, that doesn’t even – the bandage doesn’t even reach my wrist how do they—” Kurt stops, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to calm the fury rushing through him.

“Thank you for telling me,” he says through gritted teeth. “I’m glad I heard it from you, because if I heard anybody else talking shit about my mom like that, I would have decked them.”

“Really?” Blaine asks, something crossing his eyes that makes Kurt instantly feel guilty.

Kurt sighs. “No,” he says honestly. “I’m not actually the violent type. I mean, I did tell Puck I’d beat the shit out of him if he didn’t start treating my mom better, but he evokes a special kind of anger inside me.”

“Right,” Blaine says. He doesn’t look fully convinced.

“Seriously, I talk a big game, but I can’t fight for shit. Sebastian was so upset when he found out his ‘bad boy rebellion boyfriend’ couldn’t even throw a punch.”

Blaine narrows his eyes at him for a moment, then asks, “Have you dated anybody other than Sebastian?”

Kurt freezes. “What?” he asks. “Why?”

“Sorry,” Blaine says, pulling his sandwich out of his bag. “That must have seemed random. I just… you never talk about any other ex-boyfriend’s. Just Sebastian.”

Kurt ponders the question for a moment, brain still trying to catch up with the shift in conversation. “I never actually thought about that,” he says. “I, uh. I guess I haven’t. Not really.”

“Not really?”

“Yeah, like, I’ve gone on dates, or whatever, but never anything serious until Sebastian.”

Blaine stares down at his sandwich, picking at the crust. “Did you love him?”

Kurt’s throat dries. He swallows thickly, and his heart starts to pound. “I thought I did,” he says.

Blaine nods, picking at his crust a little bit more. Then, he looks up, smile just a little bit too wide to be real. “Well, I guess I have my work cut out for me, huh? As your Rumor Boyfriend and all that. Everyone already says you must be constantly comparing me to Sebastian, and now I know you loved him…”

“I thought I loved him,” Kurt corrects quickly. He sucks on a cheek, deciding if he should say anything, then decides to fuck it all and says, “Those rumors are correct, though. I do compare you to Sebastian.”

Blaine’s entire face falls. “What?” he asks, voice cracking. “Are you serious?”

Kurt nods. “Yep,” he pops the ‘p’. “Like, for example, every time we have a conversation, even if it’s about you, you always end up asking me how I’m doing, or how I’m feeling. Then after those conversations, you follow up. You actually care about all the shit going on with my family. Sebastian never even asked to meet my mom.”

Blaine’s face brightens slowly as he seems to realize what Kurt is saying. “So, I’m the winner in these comparisons?”

Kurt scoffs. “Are you kidding? You’re like, the champion. Sebastian has nothing on you.”

“Even though you thought you loved Sebastian?”

“Thinking you love someone and genuinely liking someone are two totally different things,” Kurt says. “Blaine, you and I are friends. That’s not something I could ever say about me and Sebastian.”

Blaine raises an eyebrow. “And the hot thing?”

Kurt rolls his eyes, though he can’t stop the smile creeping up his lips. “Okay, you’re pushing it.”

“What about the sexual prowess thing?” Blaine wiggles his eyebrows. “Am I better in bed than Sebastian?”

Kurt raises an eyebrow. “Well, I wouldn’t know, but I’m guessing yes.”

Blaine smirks. “He was that bad in bed, huh?”

“Oh, no,” Kurt shakes his head. “Sebastian was awesome in bed.” He shrugs, going for nonchalant. “I just have a feeling that you’d be way better.”

Blaine stares at him with wide eyes and parted lips as he says it, and god, Kurt likes him so much. If it weren’t for Blaine’s stupid no-dating rule, he’d kiss him.

He glances down at Blaine’s lips, then up to Blaine’s eyes. He catches Blaine looking at his lips as well.

Fuck.

Should he kiss him?

Blaine leans in a little, and Kurt feels the pull, leaning forward as well.

Before their lips can touch, Blaine pulls away. “So, um, tell me about the issues with your mom,” he says, voice higher than usual.

Kurt pauses where he is, hand clenching into a fist where it sits atop the desk. He takes a deep breath, then sits back up, levelling Blaine a hard look. “What about my mom?” he asks, all too aware of the bright blush coloring Blaine’s cheeks.

“You said you were mad at her, too, not just Puck. Why?”

Kurt shrugs, trying to diffuse the awkwardness lingering around them. “Puck got really drunk last night, and when he came home he told mom she had to choose between him and me. She said she didn’t want to, but that she’d choose me if it came down to it, so Puck left. Then this morning he comes back, feeds her some sob story about how he’s going to change, how things will be different, whatever, nothing we haven’t heard a million times before,” he rolls his eyes. “And the moron fucking believes him. She just ran into his arms and basically told him none of it mattered and that she’d love him forever and ever no matter what.”

Blaine lets out a low whistle. “Wow,” he says, deadpan.

“Pretty much,” Kurt says. “So I told her I was going to stay at Finn and Rachel’s for a bit,” he says. “Well, if they’re okay with it. I haven’t heard back from Finn yet.”

“If you can’t stay there, I’m sure Burt would take you in,” Blaine says. “At least for a night or two.”

Kurt smiles thinly. “Thanks,” he says, though what he really wants to say is, “And do you think you could stop teasing me with the implications that you want more than just friendship with me if we were under the same roof at night?”

“Anyway,” he says, ridding his mind of the thought, “I’m just annoyed that my mom keeps falling for the same dumb shit over and over. And I’m annoyed that she drags me into it. She knows Puck and I don’t get along, that apartment is like a toxic waste site, but she refuses to do anything about it. She’ll never kick him out, even when he pulls bullshit like last night.” He shakes his head. “You know the worst part? For a minute there, I actually thought she’d changed.”

Blaine tilts his head a little. “How do you mean?”

“He was being an asshole when I burned my hand, and so she told him to either get me some ice, or to get out. He didn’t get me the ice, so she made him leave. She’s never done that before,” he looks down at his bandaged hand. “Didn’t matter, though. She still fucking took him back, like it was nothing.”

“Maybe it isn’t nothing,” Blaine says. When Kurt raises an eyebrow at him, he hesitantly continues. “I mean, I don’t know your mom, but from what you’ve told me this was clearly an important step forward. Maybe… I don’t know, maybe she’s realizing she’s been wrong all this time to keep him in your lives, but she’s still trying to cling to their relationship?”

Kurt sighs, slumping in the chair. “I really hope you’re right,” he says. “But even then, I don’t know if she’d ever actually get to the point of kicking him out of our lives,” he stares past Blaine, out the window. A few red leaves blow by. “I just hate how it’s come between us. I hate that she’s always putting her desire to be loved by him above the well-being of our family.”

Blaine nods pensively. “It isn’t fair to you,” he says.

“No,” Kurt agrees without hesitation. “It isn’t.”

He finally gets a text back from Finn by sixth period, informing him that he is always welcome in their home. He asks what happened, and Kurt texts back that he’ll explain later, and then apologizes for not being in contact more since they came to his house.

Finn, of course, tells him that it’s no problem. Because that’s just how Finn is.

He finds Blaine after last period so they can walk to the bus stop together, even though Kurt is going to have to cross the street and take the bus coming the opposite way to get to Finn and Rachel’s. Blaine pouts about how he’s missing out on more deep talks, and Kurt hates how cute it is.

He waits for the bus with Blaine, knowing the one on the opposite side of the road won’t come for at least ten minutes after the other bus leaves. Blaine tells him about his annoyance with his lab partner in Chemistry as they wait, then promises to text Kurt about how terrible the bus ride is without him.

He keeps that promise, and Kurt has to stop himself from grinning when every new text update from Blaine comes in. Blaine is always sassier in his texts than he is in person, and Kurt loves it.

They keep texting until Kurt arrives at Finn and Rachel’s house, when he begrudgingly tells Blaine that he’ll probably have to step away from his phone for at least an hour as he fills Rachel and Finn in on what’s been going on.

From: Bowtie Blaine

Fine, but I’ll miss you.

Kurt isn’t sure whether to grin or groan. Blaine and his mixed signals are going to drive him crazy one of these days.

From: Kurt

Careful now. I’m going to start thinking you like me.

Blaine’s answer comes in a flash, and it makes Kurt’s heart ache.

From: Bowtie Blaine

I think you know by now that I do.

He pockets his phone, arriving at Finn and Rachel’s house. Despite wanting to follow this rabbit hole, maybe even bring up the almost-kiss from lunch, Kurt knows he should be present for the conversation about to follow.

He rings the doorbell and Finn answers in a second, pulling him close and wrapping him in his arms. Kurt closes his eyes as Finn’s familiar scent envelops him, and wonders if this is what it feels like to be hugged by a father.

“Alright, you,” Finn says, putting his arm around Kurt and dragging him into the house. “Tell me everything that happened, okay?”

He sees Rachel peeking out from the dining room, a bottle of water in hand. “I think you mean us, Finn,” she says, glaring at her husband. “Tell us everything that happened.”

Kurt smiles as Finn sticks his tongue out at her, letting the man lead him into the dining room. There’s a plate of fruit on the table, as well as a bowl of chips and a couple of cans of Coke. Kurt’s stomach warms at the sight of it, as well as the thought of Finn and Rachel going to the trouble of preparing this for him.

“Seriously, Kurt,” Finn says as they sit down, Finn beside Kurt and Rachel opposite them. Finn’s hand comes up to Kurt’s shoulder and squeezes it softly; comfortingly. “Tell us what happened.”

Kurt just shakes his head and says, “Every-fucking-thing, guys. Every-fucking thing.”

Chapter Twelve

#klaineanummel fic #klaine fic #klaine au #klaine #fic: egoe #multi chapter

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thebadguyalways-blog · 5 years

Text

Bonnie & Clyde || Tom Riddle x Reader ♧part 2♧

When I woke up in the morning the first thing I thought about was the books I stole. I sat up straight and looked around. The dorm was empty. I yawned and reached over to my bag while looking at the clock that told me it was exactly 11.00am. Luckily, t was saturday. I opened the book on dark magic and skipped a few pages until I came across something that peaked my interest.

Horcruxes.

I've read about them numerous times before. I have however never fully been able to understand how one makes a horcrux. I knew it involved splitting the soul but the next page was ripped out of the book. I yawned again while closing the book. I looked at my bag and picked up the book on Voodoo rituals.

I carelessly flipped through the pages, not really paying attention to the titles of different rituals. I was with my head somewhere else until suddenly a small spark shot through my middle finger. It didn't hurt. I in fact am nit even completely sure if I even felt it. It was more mental than physical. I looked at the page I was on and read the title.

'Wither away evil love spells and restore ones ability to love normally'

I was quite intrigued to be honest. Even though I was pretty sure I wasn't under a love spell, something told me that it would come in handy.

'Make a solid heart-shaped form out of dough or clay and carve the name of the person who cursed you.'

This wasn't like any of the magic we were thought in school. It was almost like a religion.

'Under the moon a day prior to the full moon dig a hole and put the heart in. And squeeze the lemon over it.'

I read the entire ritual and then closed the book with a sigh.

I put both books away and dressed myself and brushed my teeth before walking out of the dorms and into the surprisingly empty common room. Then it hit me and I rolled my eyes.

The first Hogsmeade weekend. There were three in a year. Some students have complained it wasn't enough. Others like myself think there are too many. I never really go. Got nobody to sign my permission slip so what can you do. I went to sit on one of the love chairs in the corner of the room rather than the couch in the center.

I looked around the empty common room to make sure nobody was there and grabbed the book on dark magic again since the voodoo one kinda creeped me out a little bit.

I tried again to find some more information that I wanted on horcruxes but was again unsuccesful. It was all for recreational purpouses ofcourse.

I heard some news in the corridors that muggles were dealing with some kind of criminal couple. They go town to town robbing banks and shops. The woman -I think her name is Bonnie Parker- is said to keep going on and on about how she wants to be remembered for a long time after she dies. She wants everyone to know her name. That's why they cause so much mayhem and chaos together. To be known by the people.

I wanna be remembered when I die. Also not just by friends. But by everyone. But in the wizarding world things like that are more complicated than just robbing a few banks and killing 3 or 4 people. I'm gonna have to achieve something big. But Bonnie and Clyde were my OTP. Even if thhey were muggles.

In that moment right then I decided that I in fact wanna be remembered and known by everyone. And I was gonna do anything to achief my goal. Causing mayhem and chaos isn't an exception.

I flipped through the pages again mindlessly thinking about something huge I could achief that will put my name in the history books when I was snapped out of my thoughts by the closing of the common room door.

I quickly closed the book and hid it behind my back. I looked up to see a pissed looking Tom Riddle walking into the common room. He was looking at me and raised an eyebrow.

"What were you holding?" He asked spitting every word with annoyance framing it.

"Um a book, what did it look like?" I asked sarcasticly.

"Don't act funny, what is the title of the book." He asked.

I rolled my eyes.

"Why are you so mad? And why do you wanna know what I'm reading?"

Tom huffed and walked over to me at a fast angry pace.

"I was in the library and I noticed my book was missing." He said.

"Um, it's a library. Students get books there all the time. Now if what you're getting at is that I happen to have the book you're looking for I'd tell you to leave because I really don't think you'd be into these kinds of books." I told him.

Why the fuck would he want a book on dark magic? This boy has the highest grade in all our classes, what can't he do with normal magic, that he can do with dark magic.

He narrowed his eyes for a moment.

"Just tell me the title of the book and I'll leave you alone." He negotiated.

I sighed. I was 100% sure I didn't have his book.

"I can't." I said honestly.

He raised his eyebrows as if asking me what the fuck I was getting at.

I sighed.

"You'll think I'm psycho, and you'll tell everyone and then I'll get in trouble." I explained.

He smirked slightly.

"I won't. Just show me the book (Y/L/N)" He sighed. The small smirk still present.

I groaned. "Fine" I said and slowly got the book from behind my back.

I handed it to him and he stared at it. His smirk was growing bigger. "What's a girl like you doing with a book on dark magic?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes. "You've seen the cover, may I have my book back now?" I asked him keeping my eyes on the book.

"No." he said.

I looked at him. He still had the smirk on his face with one eyebrow raised higher than the other.

"You said you wouldn't tell anyone and leave me alone." I said in a little bit more of a whine than I intended.

He chuckled.

"That's not why you're not getting it back." He stated. "You're not getting it back because it's mine."

I narrowed my eyes trying not to let him notice how surprised I was.

"What does someone like you need with black magic." I asked.

He raised his brows. "What do you mean 'someone like me'?" He asked.

"You know... someone that's good at every class and probably one of the most powerful students here." I described. "I'm just trying to say that you probably don't need black magic to make you a better wizard"

His facial expression turned into a amused one.

"You're oblivious to the fact that you are the second best student in Hogwards. No?"

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"That you have the best grade in herbology, transfiguration, divination and care of magical animals." He said "And you're second best in the rest of them exept for history of magic where you're third." he finished.

My mouth fel agape.

"How-" I started to ask.

"I wanted to know who I should see as a threat." He answered.

I stared at him. Right then was the first moment in my life that I couldn't read someones expression. Was he joking? Was he serious? Should I be worried?

"Don't worry." He said "I realised I'd much rather have you as an ally."

He stepped closer and sat down on the other love seat in front of me. He leaned over and placed his elbows on his knees folding his hands in front of him.

"Interesting." I said with an unnoticable yawn and put my elbow on the chair arm and leaned my head on my hand. "Tell me more." I said.

Riddle smiled.

"I wanna do something big." he said "Something bad."

I grinned at the way he was describing his plan. "Acting all mysterious are we?" I asked.

He shot me a glare.

"I've been watching you, (Y/L/N), for a while now. You have potential." He said.

I smirked. "And may I ask what exactly I have potential for?" I asked.

He shrugged and leaned back in the chair. "Still figuring that out." He said "All I know is that you're too special to stay unnoticed your entire life. You have to be known. A name everyone knows but is too afraid to speak. The persom every mother warns her child about. A face that lets everyone know that the world is ours. That's (Y/N) (Y/L/N), the queen of darkness, the dutchess of chaos, my Dark Lady."

He had his way with speech. Everyone knew that. This vision of his spoke to me in a way that no one other could. Even if someone else had the same vision, ideas or believes as Riddle. No one knew how to put his thoughts into words like he did. It impressed me, to say the least. I was high on the idea of being known, maybe feared by every single witch and wizard. 'His Dark Lady' I repeated in a whisper. I was als so impressed by the way he could actually make me believe him for a second. Even though I didn't doubt his believes. His intentions were another story. He wouldn't lie. He had too much pride, too big of an ego to lie about his plans. He just leaves a lot of his plan out. I know for a fact that he didn't tell me everything. I pity everyone who was truly stupid enough to trust Tom Riddle.

"What exactly is your plan?" I asked.

Riddle tutted while shaking his head. "You're going to have to prove you are trustworthy first." He said.

I rolled my eyes. "How." I asked. He smirked. "That's for me to know and for you to find out." He said before standing up and walking towards the door.

"Wait!" I called after him.

He turned around and looked at me expectantly.

"Will you tell me about horcruxes?"

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rpausandwhatifs · 2 years

Text

Upheaval Turns to Upset || Isla, Persephone, and Reiner

Reiner was holding Persephone's hand as they walked around the store, pushing Isla in the cart like their child. Something had been weighing on him heavily as he'd been with his girls. Something that he hadn't really thought about since they had picked him up on another impromptu adventure, once again putting their poly-love on display and answering numerous questions about who's dating who. "Uhhhh...what are you two doing after high school? I'm graduating this year," he said as he leaned back up from kissing Isla on her forehead.

"I'm barely in school, so I'm repeating the 11th grade," Isla said, with a shrug.

"I'm going to summer school for a few weeks but I'll be going into my senior year...why do you ask, babe, what's wrong?" Persephone asked as she teased Isla in the cart with a pool noodle.

"Well nothing, but I'm still deciding if I wanna go and live on campus or not, since I just decided on the school I wanted and they're honoring my scholarship," he replied quickly before updating them.

"That's good, Reiner! I think you'd should just..probably go live up there to see if you can live on your own and do sports for a while, and make sure to come home every chance you get," Isla said with a little resolve, "Or you could just stay home and we can get an apartment together so that you don't have to leave."

"I mean, she's got a point. Your classes are still online, right?" Persephone echoed.

"I can opt for the online classes, but they've had classes in person for a while now. I know you both haven't been up on current events, but sports are back full swing and I'd only be an hour away so you two could be like my cheerleaders or something if you wanted to watch me practice," he stated with a smile.

"That's two hours to and from...we'll all be tired," Persehone explained.

"Too tired to cuddle. That's why I said we should get an apartment so we see each other more often," Isla whined, "I'll make the perfect housewife."

"And what makes you think I'd be comfortable living with the both of you?" Persephone asked her face twisting, unable to mask her discomfort.

"I had a nanny growing up, she was Austrian-"

"Didn't think your dad could afford a nanny, Isles," Persephone sounded.

"Persephone-" Reiner said growing more impatient, turning to the cart after hearing the girl again, "It's not that big of a deal-"

"Not that big of a deal yeah? Did your dad fuck her too?" Persephone said, finally fixing her hair and taking it out of the princess pony.

"Whatever... we'll both only see him the same amount of time, less so you than anybody," Isla bit back, "Plus we're exclusively an asexual relationship, so that wouldn't be my concern."

"As far as you know... don't tempt me, Isla, gimme one night, I'd make ya," Persephone chided.

Reiner rolled his eyes and took his hold of the cart behind Persephone, kissing her head. The other side of Persephone meant that she was stressed, worrying about something she shouldn't. The college thing was clearly unraveling her. "And if you do I wouldn't mind... just not while I'm working-"

"Ooo Reiner, we should get a puppy! Or a kitten! Or both!" Isla chirped, "Something to keep us occupied."

"That's a responsibility, babe..I dunno if we can do that... but I guess living on our own wouldn't be the worst.. I've never been away from my parents before," Reiner said, throwing a stuffed toy in the cart, "Alright, I got everything on the list, time to checkout."

"Oh yes! Let's pretend to be grownups!" Persephone mocked, not being able to hide her smirk. Reiner’s hand in hers felt sure, even if it did startle her a little to make such a huge move when she barely even recognized what s he was doing half the time. In this moment, she needed Isla.

Vincent was standing outside of the house, smoking a cigarette and waited for his daughter at the door. Leda was chatting excitedly with Ro about their lives and interacting with the other children in the house that wanted to be bothered; it was the usual flipping through family photo albums. Dan and Phil were sitting along, trying to be civil as they watched the women gush over their lives in the past few years while they drank only one glass of wine- as per Phil's instructions.

"So Dan, do you know if Persephone is going to college here or overseas?" Ro asked, sipping her hot cocoa.

"She doesn't want to go to uni..like a big uni. She's thinking of maybe a smaller college for a few years and jump into the world..She wants to work," says Dan.

"Ooo sounds like Isla. She said she wouldn't mind traveling for work, but I think she's traveled out for a while," Leda beams.

"Oh my god, I completely forgot that your kids were so well traveled. We have been switching back and forth but we've mostly been rooted in home sweet home," Ro chimed in.

"Well, Leda did the traveling, I don't usually travel even if it's for work," Vincent said, walking back in, swinging his way around to Leda and wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing the side of her head.

Dan looks at Phil almost bitter at the interaction, then sips his wine.

"Well, how's the little one?" Leda asks, taking the kiss and looks at Ro.

"Our little one isn't so little anymore...He's starting secondary school," Phil chuckles, "He's got some big dreams, he wants to direct. He really likes bringing things together and making, like, huge masterpieces."

"Oh my god that's so cool. Isla wants to do like, photography or set design or something," Leda said, nodding along.

"That's always got me, Leda..you've only had one girl..Never thought about trying for a boy?" Dan pointed out.

"No, no..we were just..never in the right position and luckily we never worried about any surprises or anything like that..not that I would have had a problem raising a boy-" Leda began.

"But raising a girl is much more work," Vincent finished, "Speaking of girls, where are they?"

"I thought you were coming in because they were right behind you?" Ro said, furrowing her brows.

"Your son didn't tell you they were coming back?" Phil asked, standing up a little straighter.

"They told me they were going to the store, but I dunno what's taking them so-" Ro said before her phone went off, "Speaking of..that's him..they'll be here in a few minutes."

"Cool," Vincent and Leda say in unison.

"Cool? You didn't know where your daughter was- even for a second- and you said...cool?" Dan said, whipping his head to the couple.

"Dan, just let it go..they obviously trust Reiner..and we trust Reiner, so it's fine," Phil argued.

"Plus, Isla's very independent. She wouldn't get too far if she knew she couldn't tell us she's going to be okay..we trust her.." Vincent said.

"I'm sorry, but I have trust issues. And honestly, your daughter and mine run off unannounced to do God know what and they're always just...okay about it-" Dan continues.

"At some point, you do learn to let your children learn and explore on their own. We all went to the same school for a while, and our parents trusted us, which I worry about heavily," Ro said, "But from those experiences, we all learned how to be better parents for them."

"Don't you mean 'parent', Ro? Because Mark isn't here. I'll point out the elephant in the room," Dan said, finishing his glass and leaning over the counter. Phil gives him a look to warn him that he's possibly had too much to drink, even for a single glass.

"He's...He's busy. He had to go to the studio and work on a project," Ro said, a little surprised as she sets the cocoa down and cheats towards her sink to grab a glass, "Maybe you could use some water.."

"I'm not drunk, I'm just loose and I had a lot on my mind," Dan interjects.

"Well, maybe this isn't the space to talk about that- whatever it is that's on your mind," Leda says, pulling from Vincent, who returns her gesture with a grip on her waist.

"No, I think these should be easy to figure out, given it's been so long and we're waiting for our children right?..Yes, our children, who we all had out of wedlock. Our children who have been impacted by our drama in some way or another. And Ro, I wasn't trying to point you out, I was just trying to be transparent- no pun intended. I don't live with Phil. I haven't lived with Phil. We've been living separately for a few years now. The fact that Mark has his own studio so far away from your house and that he isn't here right now, says a lot about him," Dan says,

"And...what makes you say that? Also, it doesn't seem to be that big of a deal, I leave Leda alone for at most a week if I have to go shoot, but other than that I'm home. I'm streaming. I'm raising my daughter. You're just making it sound like Mark is a bad father," Vincent added, "And he could be, but she's hiding it well. It still begs the point why you even brought it up, when we were talking about our kids-"

"They all come from somewhere, Cyr," Dan jumped up, "And you should know. What's stopping you from having a child with Ro? What if Reiner and Isla are half siblings?"

"Dan..alright, that's enough," Phil says, approaching him and taking his hands, "Maybe you should drink some water...have something to drink."

"They're not having sex if that's what you're concerned about," Vincent stated, staring daggers at him while Ro looks away while getting the glass of water. Leda notices and looks between them with suspicion.

"It wasn't your daughter I was concerned about," Dan said, "It's mine."

Leda looks at Dan worriedly, looking back as Ro rushed to his side and coaxed him to sit down at the bar stool at the island. Vincent looks at Phil, raising his eyebrows, then dropping them, "What are you saying about her?"

"I'm saying that she's two people in one. Yeah I believe Persi, but I don't trust Persephone. She's reckless and dangerous. Way too smart and way too understanding of mature things she shouldn't know about-" Dan explained.

"That reflects the upbringing and the environment she was raised in. Maybe she needs friends like Isla and Reiner who could allow her to do things at more of her speed. Instead of locking her up all of the time," Leda snapped, "You two have been fighting for a long time, and not to step on any toes here, but you have a situation you couldn't handle. Things have been fine between them so far and honestly it pains me you can't see past your own trauma and speak highly of her like Phil does."

"Because she's always up under your daughter, who you just let be around her, who knows what kinda person she's turning into," Dan says, pushing Phil's hands away.

"You said you'd give me one day. Not even a day, without starting all of this. You know that Persephone is a better person than this-" Phil began.

"And I thought the same about you, Phillip, but look at where we are- don't fucking touch me!" Dan exclaims.

Vincent, Leda, and Ro look up as they see their children standing there in disbelief, Dan still going on. Persephone tried to steady her breathing, feeling Isla's hand desperately grasp hers. She shook her shoulder and shrugged her off and walked towards her parents.

"Hey Persi-" Phil began as he stepped away and towards his daughter.

"Persephone. Thank you..And listen here, you fuck. You don't know me and you don't have a pussy, but you can't hold your liquor like one and you sure as hell have always acted like one. You and my birth mother are some of the few reasons I hated gatherings like this. You talk shit about me. You make people not trust me. I've had to live with that. My whole. Fucking. Life. Not to mention being in the shadow of my father, who was once as fucked as me, and you shit talk him too. I honestly don't know what my brother sees in you, but I know it's not much- he's told me. I know my dad doesn't fucking like you anymore. And that's the real reason why you don't live with us. He was beat out two to one. I don't know why you brought his sloppy ass when you could've brought Bryony, the mother of my brother who I love like a real mother," Persephone barked.

"Persi, come on..let it go.." Reiner says, trying to approach her.

"Let me tell you something else, you bitch. I found Isla when she ran away because her parents were fucking because her mother was having a psychotic episode and her dad was fucking it out of her. I brought her back to her fucked up family safe and sound and showed her what I went through by introducing her to this fake bullshit! Reiner is showing us that it's all ok. Even if his mom was fucking Isla's dad and that's probably why his dad's not here. We're more concerned about you guys that we don't have a fucking life. And you, Daniel Howell, are just trying to repeat history and today is when I say it's enough. You've done enough. We were going to tell you we're gonna live together. We were going to tell you that we're in an asexual poly relationship. You know why?! Because we thought you could handle it. It just seems like you're too involved in your own shit. So what does it fucking matter?! We're the adults now. We're making our own decisions!" Persephone finished and turned around to Vincent, who looked at her like an assailant. "Can I get a light?" she asks even though Leda and Vincent looked at each other in absolute shock and confusion until Persephone gestures her fingers and raises her eyebrows, causing Vincent to kick into gear and pat his pockets for his cigarettes and hands her one before she storms outside, Reiner and Isla following.

Persephone sat out on the curb, lighting her cigarette as Reiner and Isla rushed to her side. She closed her eyes and let the wind blow her hair.

"Persi.." Reiner says, taking the cigarette for himself, taking one hit and passing it to Isla, "You weren't wrong. They are more caught up with themselves than they are us."

"Yeah, and I'm sorry Dan just dissed you like that-" Isla added, "Did you really have to ask my dad for a cigarette?"

"One," Persi said simply.

"It could have been one for each of us, doesn't make it right," Reiner said.

"No..I mean. One. Just one time. When I don't have to check his ass and keep my reputation. I went to school and it wasn't this hard..." Persi reflected, "Is that what the real world is?...Just everybody talking shit about someone when they're not there?"

"Unfortunately, yes, but you stood up for yourself..and for us. You said what we've wanted to say- and hell I have said it. At least you let them know what we're doing.." Isla said, getting down to sit on the curb next to her, "Why didn't you just..ignore him?"

"He makes it so that he can't be ignored, that's who he is. If he's not getting what he wants or he feels like he's not getting the spotlight- I'm his scapegoat...and he's such a fucking lightweight..he had one glass of wine-" Persi started.

"We've been gone for a while, you're not sure-" Isla tried.

"That's all it takes," Persi said, taking the cigarette again, "And then my dad is babysitting him. And then we leave."

"Well he doesn't live with you anymore, that's half the battle...You know my mom has come around to you-" Reiner said, trying to cheer her up.

"Yeah, and my parents love you!" Isla chirped.

"My dad loves me..My mom loves me, but she's delusional..And you guys love me.." Persi nodded, speaking softly to herself.

"Listen, we'll go back inside and we'll talk to the parents available to hear about our plan. You can tell your dad later...I'm sure he's gonna be really excited to hear about everything," Reiner said, finally getting down on the other side of the red head and taking her in his arm.

"You really think your mom is gonna let me walk inside?" Persephone said, "She probably called the cops. I might as well wait here."

"Aw come on Persi, i know you're embarrassed, but you did the right thing," Isla said, pushing her a little, "We can just ignore him and tell everyone else. I'm pretty sure they want to know."

#isla #persephone #reiner #leda #cyr #ro #mark #dan #phil

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inevitably-johnlocked · 7 years

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hi:) I know this is really random and not sherlock-related but I need to rant and I literally have no one to rant to right now, and you're really sweet, so..... I have a main group of friends who i hang out w and I'm very close to everyone in my friend group. I feel valued by them, but the thing is, whenever they plan something, it's almost always without me?? They exclude me outside of school most of the time but in school they act perfectly normal? i just... don't know anymore. (1)

(2)It’s just been making me feel quite lonely, and I honestly just wish I had a best friend again. The only thing keeping me from being down in the dumps 24/7 is the fact that sherlock didn’t find his best friend until his early thirties, so I guess i’ve still got time😂😅 but still….I’m not sure why I’ve told you this since there’s nothing you can do, but, thanks for reading, steph, and hope you have a great day:)💕

Hey Nonny!

OOOOHHHHHHHHH BOOOYY do I feel you SO HARD on this. I know EXACTLY how you feel with regards to the “everyone except me” thing, which in high school after we turned 19 progressed to “bring her because she’s the only one with a car, she can be D.D.” or “I’m the ugly friend, makes the rest of us look better” (that last one I’m certain isn’t true, but it FEELS like it after a lifetime of being bullied and belittled because I was an overweight child). And in grade 7, the group of friends I grew up with dropped me like a hot potato without no warning or reason. Never saw them again, and no explanation for why they did it; everything seemed like it was alright literally the weekend before that. It was… a rough time; being an introvert, it’s very hard to make friends again, especially in middle school in the middle of the year. I eventually made new ones and I still talk to a few of them today, 20 years later, which is nice.

The thing with friendships, though, Lovely, is that they’re constantly changing as we grow older and begin to understand ourselves. Some people lose touch; some people find other people with similar interests; some people find friendships in coworkers; some marry and have kids; some have new relationships. It’s not to say none of your past friendships mean any less than the ones you currently have now. Just, you may have gone down a different path than someone else, or someone’s priorities may have changed. Those people have helped you become who you are.

It’s really hard to hear this, Lovely, and I’m assuming you’re still a wee bab (”in high school” is what I assume when I read “in school”), but very rarely do we ever have the same friends years down the road that we did in our youth and still call them best friends. PEOPLE CHANGE AND GROW, and that includes you and your friends.

Hmm, how do I put this without sounding like a dick? Okay, I’m not religious for various reasons, but I believe in Fate (as in whatever happens, happens), and that everything happens for a reason, no matter how shitty it is. So yes, seven years of suffering after my Dad died? It fucking sucked – worst years of my life – but it’s made me a stronger, more independent person, who, after being away from the toxicity of my mother, finally figured out who I was and that I wasn’t broken and wasn’t a terrible person because I had to remove her from my life.

I think the same sort of things happen with friendships: in childhood, you learn social skills, behaviours, and influences from the people you befriend. But as you grow, you and those friends find other friends and other interests as you discover who you are and become your own person. Sometimes the bond is still there, and you still talk and still enjoy the same things, other times they will just throw you away because they don’t think you’re worth their time (explanations would be nice, but I digress). But human beings are social creatures – you WILL find another person to befriend, whether it’s online or in real life.

Here’s my view on the concept of a “best friend”: you will have multiple “best friends” in your life, and YOU will have your own definition of who is deemed as your best friend. For instance, my Best Friend (capital B.F.) is my sister – no one can ever replace her in that mantle. It’s not personal, but she is the single most important person in my life. I’ve helped raise her for large chunks of our childhood and we used to move around a lot as young kids, so she was always someone who was there when we had to up and move again. I love her and would die for her if I had to. Next, I have a current circle of best friends (small b.f.), who I didn’t meet until I was 23 and in college, who I love cherish and THEY ARE MY FAMILY (friendships are, after all, the family you create). We have done a lot of things together and have a lot in common, but even that group has broken off into smaller groups in recent years because some feel that they need to move on from another individual in our group who just hasn’t really grown or changed in the past decade. I’m still friends with both halves of the group – real friends don’t make you choose sides – and because we’re so far away from each other, I see them once every few months. We’re still friends, though, even if we don’t talk every day nor see each other all the time. Then I have my best online friend, my fandom besties, and my mutuals acquaintances, all of who I love and respect and cherish to varying degrees. And finally, my old friends from high school, the ones I haven’t physically seen in probably over 15 years, but we still talk occasionally on Facebook. I still consider them friends.

See how complicated that all seemed? Because that’s how I define friendships, HOWEVER it will be different for everyone. Like the word “love”, “friendship” means something different to everyone; there is no one right definition for it. You will come up with a system that works for you and your life. In my example, I find it easier to categorize and organize people, places and things based on their relative importance in my life. It doesn’t mean think any less of it all, it’s just how my brain works.

The rise of social media has become the new way to make friends of all sorts that we never thought possible before, which is so fascinating, because a lot of my friends I have now I met through social media because we share similar interests. Will we be friends in another 10 years? Maybe, maybe not, but I love what I have now with them, and I will live in today and not worry about tomorrow.

So back to your initial question: I’m so sorry you’re currently going through what you are. It’s shitty feeling alone in a group, especially if you are an introvert, I FEEL YOU on that. But please don’t let it discourage you. IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO MAKE A BEST FRIEND or MEET SOMEONE who will become your life partner, platonic or romantic. You will have NUMEROUS amounts of both over the course of your life. Don’t be afraid to befriend that little boy or girl sitting alone at the lunch table -- I was that little girl after my childhood friends ditched me... I was that woman on my first day of first year second semester college when I was split from my group of friends -- and let me tell you, that introverted person may become your best friend later on.

The concept of friendship / relationships and its ever-changing ways is something I have had a lot of time to sit and think on. I’m 36 years old. I’ve never had a significant other romantically, but society dictates I should with 2.5 kids and a house with a picket fence. Here’s a secret: IT’S BULLSHIT. You live your life at your own pace, and whatever happens will happen. It took a long time for me to accept that, and oddly enough this realization didn’t happen until I removed the toxic relationships from my life. And you know what, Lovely? I am so much happier just living my life day to day. I’m learning about who I am, what I enjoy, and what I can look forward to.

Will I finally find my own John Watson (since I identify with Sherlock)? I hope so, Lovely, but life is too short to worry about that. I know that a lot of people naturally cannot be alone, and I honestly can’t imagine what that’s like (I actually enjoy spending time alone), but you can curb that by befriending people, enjoying their company, and learning from them. Enjoy your life. That’s all you can really do.

#steph replies #my advice #friendship #friends #about me #Anonymous #chatting with nonnies #personal

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jibbyscorner · 3 years

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Crunch! Jibby's Guide to Cooking the Crispiest Potato Chips Ever!

featuring ice cubes

School friendships come in all forms. There can be instances when you're all busy because of the overwhelming—and over piling—school works that you need to finish. Navigating through all of this would be like going into a massive labyrinth, with multiple routes and choices all leading somewhere, including a serendipitous destination. But sometimes, it can also lead to an unsatisfying dead end. An impasse, if you might say it in a fancier terms. One with no good moments to see. It's just so... unexciting and anti-climactic, you know? No bother, because all challenges can go through this outcome. No school friendship is perfect, there can be times where you're all just living in a low, lack of energy.

But when you're stuck on a research chapter with tired mind and empty belly, you might want to do something with it before you all try a different path. There may be deadlines, but you can't explore through a maze while you're all still hungry. And there may be a solution for this. All you need is a bunch of potatoes, some cooking oil, a pot (or a pan), more kitchen utensils, and of course, any source of heat. (Most recommended? A stove.)

There's a bunch of appetizing snacks that you can make with a good potato. But what if I tell you that you can cook a really crispy, mouthwatering potato chips with only a bowl of iced water?

Well, you can! And as a parting gift for the last days of my eleventh grade, I am going to teach you on how to make your break time, a great time. Prepare your notes, folks! This is my way of cooking a really delicious, ultimately crispy potato chips. Once you've tried this, you certainly won't regret it!

Of course, you can do this alone. Or if you want, you can definitely try this technique with a team! You can also take turns, especially as this cooking techinique takes time. With great potatoes, comes great amount of minutes... and also cold water and a good knife. This isn't exactly a quick process, you got to put some love in this.

So what is the first step? Well, first, you have to pick the best potatoes. Not exactly the extremely expensive ones, just the right potatoes in the right condition. Take some time on choosing, ask for them, the good potatoes will call on you... if they don't, just choose the ones that are normal, potato-looking potatoes. Personally, I prefer the oval-sized potatoes. I also want them to be a little rough, so I could peel them easily with a spoon.

<< For a quick guide, two medium-sized potatoes would fill a medium-sized bowl. The more potatoes you got, the more satisfied taste buds and bellies you're going to get. >>

And yeah, you've read that right. A spoon! This is a trick that I've learned from my classmates while we're cooking for our TLE subject on ninth grade. Using a peeler or a knife can lead to you losing a layer of good, crispy potatoes. That would be such a waste, doesn't it? Especially since vegetables are so pricey right now! So, you take your spoon (choose the thinnest one), and then you just peel them using the said utensil. This is why I told you to pick the right potatoes, because the right and good ones will peel easily, and you won't lose a layer of potato goodness. Make sure to wash them first before spoon-peeling.

The next step is of course, to cut them. I wouldn't judge you on how you cut them. But when I cook these potatoes, I use a butcher knife (when you're going to use this, please be careful!). Using a butcher knife, I like to cut them in halves vertically. In this way, you're going to end up with two, oval shaped potatoes, with a flat surface on one side. The next step is to cut them as thin as possible. Now, with a butcher knife, you would be able to perform this smoothly, it would take about five minutes to cut six half of potatoes, and you will be good to go!

The next step is to get a bowl, just the ones that would fit your uncooked potato chips, with room for water to fill in. Wash it with clean water. If you observe them, the water would eventually turn into hazy, gray (sometimes light brown, because of the soil in the potatoes), and this is not a bad thing! It's just the starch roaming around your water. Once you see this milky water, you spill them out. And then fill the bowl with water again. Rinse the potatoes with your clean, sanitized hands. And spill the water out again. Do this process as many as you want, and in a few minutes, your potatoes will sink in with clear, transparent water. This meant that the starch is out the surface of your chips and it would make it more crispy when you cook them.

Now, the special part. The best way to make a crispy, and at the same time, flavorful potato chips is to soak them in cold, iced water. Put the cold water onto your potato bowl. Feel them, the more numb your fingers get, the better it is for the potatoes. The cold bath would help your potatoes lose more of its starch, making it look like a real chips when cooked. Wait for a moment to let the potatoes soak and settle in with the cold water.

This is the waiting part. You can wait ten minutes. While you're waiting, let's have a quick talk, shall we?

I actually discovered this technique while doing a group project with my classmates. We were exhausted, drained, and the worst part? We were all hungry. It doesn't help the fact that we were all craving for fries. Good thing about our house is that, our kitchen always has a variety of vegetables, and potatoes were one of them. And so me and our classmates cooked our fries.

It was good! In fact, we really enjoyed it. But I can't seem to not mind the shiny look on our fries. It's too oily, not exactly a turn on for me. And so I had this urge within me that told me to look for a technique that would make my potatoes dry and not too oily-looking. And that's what I did.

After numerous amount of attempts, I finally achieved it. And now I am sharing it with you guys! I've really come a long way with potatoes.

Okay, back to our cold bowl of potatoes. The next thing you're going to do is to open your stove in between medium and low heat. Then you're going to choose your pot, I recommend a medium-sized one, just make sure that it would fit your potatoes perfectly! Just let the pot heat for a moment. One thing I've noticed is that if you put oil on a warm pot, it would make your potatoes stick on the surface. So make sure that your pot is hot and slightly smoking before putting cooking oil.

<< In putting cooking oil, make sure that it would cover all of your potatoes. The more oil, the better. When you're done with oil, let them heat up again for a couple of minutes. >>

Also, while you're waiting, you can now drain your potatoes! It would be cool, pun intended, that you put your cold potatoes on hot cooking oil. Just be careful with the bursting hot oil, you would not want them to touch your skin. Once you've put them on, stir them. Make sure that all of your potato chips are covered in oil. Also make sure that they're all spreaded out evenly! So they can all cook in the same amount of time. Turn the stove to medium heat.

Now this is where you put your insticts in. The best way is to wait a couple of minutes so you can leave time for your potatoes to slowly cook. I say wait for three minutes before checking on them.

I'll start the timer. And while you're waiting, let's get to know each other!

[3:00]

Okay, so how are you doing? Are you feeling good, okay? Or stressed because of school works?

[2:45]

Well, if you ask me, I guess I'm doing fine. I'm trying really hard not to get myself stressed. It's really bad if I get stressed because it would affect my performance! Wouldn't want to have that effect on your essay, right? I guess the best remedy for this is to just find your comfort zone. For me, it's doing essays while playing Netflix on the background. It helps me feel relaxed and at my comfort zone, I just love watcing movies and TV shows so much!

[2:05]

What's your hobbies, do you like reading, watching, baking, cooking, or maybe even gaming? Are you into sports?

[1:35]

If you could go somewhere, anywhere in the world... assuming if we're not in pandemic, where would you go?

[1:00]

For me, I would certainly go to a bookstore. I've missed going there so much. I miss the smell of books!

[0:40]

Have you tried experimenting with potatoes? They're a really versatile food, huh? You can do everything with them, and that's what makes potatoes really special!

[0:20]

For me, I've actually tried doing other things! I've tried doing Mojos, of course, fries, and even mashed potatoes! One time I've tried them with my friends, and while they're not looking, I put some sopas soup on the mashed and mixed them. It turned out really good, I promise you have to try them at some point. It's amazing!

[-0:07]

Oops! We almost forgot about the potatoes we're cooking. My bad! Okay so, once the three minutes is up, you have to check them out. Usually, they don't get crispified at three minutes. Sometimes in my experience, it takes ten minutes to cook them really well. We're looking for a golden look on the potatoes. And you'll feel them with your spatula once they started getting crispy under the boiling oil. You have to take time, always check on them! Because once they turn crispy, it would be also a really quick time before they turn black and burn.

Once it's crispy, prepare a sheet of tissue towel and strainer. Put the tissue on the strainer and place your cooked crispy potato chips over there! You can leave them over there for a few minutes. The tissues would absorb the oils and it would make your potato chips dry and golden-skinned. Once dry, put them on a bowl and sprinkle some salt! Or, if you want, you can put some cheese powder or any condiments on them. That's the beauty of potatoes, it dances on your taste buds regardless of its flavor!

And that, my friends, is how you cook a crispy, mouthwatering, delicious, perfect potato chips. You can pass them on to your friends, to your friends of friends, or even to your acquaintances! I really do think it would be nice if this snack I've experimented on for years would pass on and satisfy other potato lovers. And to all of you hardworkers out there, this snack would be a great delight for you! May the break of these potato chips on your teeth encompass a satisfying break time for all of you.

So if you're out there, doing research, or going on any hard path the labyrinth of a life may give you, always remember that you deserve a break, you truly do. The great beyond is just out there, it's waiting. And if you feel like getting a snack break, how about you try my potato chips, eh? I'm sure it would make a worthwhile snack!

Feature Article by Abdullah Jibril Y. Dandamun

Photos by Jibril Dandamun

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alyhollywood · 7 years

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Confessions on How To Handle Education Now That Devos Has Officially Sworn Into a Place of Power Enabling Tragedy If We Don't Enlighten her We Guarantee Our Opportunity Expired until Continus Time to Ever Further The Education of Any Ones Mind; Ending Free Individualized Thought To Die With No New Knowledge Absorbed By The Massful Minds

In California you don't need a teaching degree to teach at a charter school or in private sector but unlike charter private sector often has numerous own qualifications of their own often requiring a teach degree or a doctorate in field to teach unlike charter schools which fail here because they have teachers who don't have degrees or new ones who don't know what the heck they are doing. Actually recently a charter administration building that runs 14 in LA was raided for misuse of funds and they found according to the news clip I had watched (not sure on If accurate or added fake news embellishment) tons of illegal drugs being stored in these buildings boxes of them. So yeah although the clip said they were being compliant with authorities makes you wonder what the hell was going on in that school network system and the people in charge of those children hah. I did vote trump however DeVos is not qualified and is quite terrifying the fact she couldn't state the definitions of growth and proficiency let alone decipher between the two terms. She also does not think highly of disabled services or special education and feels they should just be not given the tools they need to be successful or achieve their highest potential. In fact feels they are a waste of time and wants to turn the clock back to how they were viewed in the 50's and 60's which is wrong in more ways then I can even begin to get into. Just because a child is different does not make them stupid or incapable of learning they just learn differently in ways than others and need a bit more time, compassion, patience and care with help and guidance from a passionate educator who is willing to work with them and specialize their lesson plan for them to be successful. Would you fail a kid in a wheelchair or on krutches for not running the mile in PE with all the other students? No. So why would you put students in such situations treating them all the same across the board in all subjects. I truly don't think people realize how strong the teacher unions are or why they are necessary to be. They fight for education and often instead of new textbooks or materials in the classroom the state will decide to grant money only for beautifying the campus aka build buildings with no desks in them for anyone to be able to teach, plant flowers and do some pretty mascot mural painting on the gymnasium while the nets are inside in shreds and the uniforms recycled each year reused decade after decade and every class has some mandatory 10-35 dollar material fee that totals up to be quite pricey by the end of the first day with 7 classes and not to mention actually going to buy school supplies and later on project materials and field trip fees etc. Yes I do believe some administrators get overpaid and there are one too many of them necessary on a board but that has nothing to do really with the teachers union it's separate and the teachers all the ones I know work absurd long hours, multiple jobs because their salary wouldn't even cover rent and utilities let alone if they have kids all the fees I mentioned above in public schools mind you, live paycheck to paycheck, get almost no tax breaks because they can't afford to own a house on their income alone etc. Truly passionate and love their job and students but really stress about being able to cover groceries or anything else that may occur like a car needing repair or washing machine broke out of warranty. Cutting their salaries is about the most moronic thing when it's been cut almost every other year as it is to where they are barely getting by some not even with maxed out credit cards. Our teachers are the ones with kids every day. They work their ass off to try and better the child's life and broaden their horizons. They are the ones who prepare the youth for the future we all will be a part of and want them to be able to be functioning in society when they join it. The ones who give them those tools to be able to do that and get jobs and be independent are the teachers who instill knowledge into their minds. Crippling them and their resources and burning them out means no bright future and hinders the amount the children are able to have taught to them for them to learn making them less informed and lacking skills. We need teachers! We need someone who knows what the hell they are doing and we need those who are qualified to take a stand and make sure they speak up loud enough to make a case stated with in refutable facts and data to help guide and enlighten DeVos on the system and what public education and educators need to be more successful and what ways the students should be tested to see their progress and milestones toward success in learning. Force her to understand growth needs to be the focus not proficiency as we have been doing with the failing common core where the top of the class and the bottom of the class are ignored and not given what they need to move ahead of their peers or catch up to them and be recognized for their goals reached not just called a failure because they aren't up to speed with their peers. Take a 5th grader. They are not reading at a 5th grade level like they should and the middle range of the class is. This student has a kindergarten reading level and was just pushed through the system feeling more loss and less engaged each year. A teacher comes across them and gets them to a 4th grade reading level by the end of the year. Now if you go by proficiency their peers are now at 6grade level so that kid is labeled a failure and a waste of time and not worth bothering with. If you go by growth you see the huge improvement in the year moving their reading level up by 4 grade levels and see they are able to learn and smart if given the tools and tlc needed. Growth measurement that child is a success and met beyond their goals of just being up one or two reading levels but did 4! Now take that same 5th grade class you have a student who is reading 10th grade level. Way beyond what their peers are. By proficiency she or he would be told to not read ahead and to have to read with their peers at 5th grade level and be unchallenged and bored often then not caring and then not doing homework because why bother it's not a challenge and is just more of a punishment and makes learning a chore because for that student they aren't learning they are frustrated bored and when asked to give vocab words they don't know the definition of to do assignments with they are trying to guess what their peers don't know since they knew all but maybe one and need to come up with 20 words and then get docked because some of the words they guessed wrong and the teacher deemed too easy. Teacher is focused on proficiency therefore not focused on child being beyond this and extremely agitated and miserable; the reason they are probably talking in class ,when they shouldn't, doodling or other behaviors not deemed appropriate and punishable worthy. Now take growth this teacher notices and either sends them to an honor class to transfer to or takes the other students also beyond the reading level say you have 6 students who are above and beyond ranging from 7-10 reading level. The teacher gives them their own book probably around an 8.5 reading level or 9 depending on the students and they will have their own assignments to that book to work on as the rest of the class works on the other book and its assignments. I've seen it done so don't say this doesn't happen teachers focused on growth do this quite frequently if they are attune with their students and their capabilities as well as willing to help them when they need it and get stuck and promote positivity with the you can do it you are capable i know you are smart attitude. These students focused with growth learn at a level challenging to their needs and not just overlooked or forced to waste time feeling as if it is pointless to show up because it's so torturous and infuriating that their peers are just not getting what they understood two weeks ago and are still discussing it in class. In growth everyone is challenged and the whole class is engaged and learning new material that is appropriate for their mind to continue to build and expand in becoming informed on the endless information and knowledge just waiting for their brains to absorb! Do you see why now it's important ,someone in charge understand the difference and why it is terrifying she doesn't? Let alone believes in proficiency more ,so based on what she says in her jumbled answers, then in growth! The schools need a serious fix after no child left behind and the program of common core followed it that needs to go away. We need someone who knows what the hell they are talking about to be in charge of redevelopment of a working system that benefits all students disabled, average and honor/gate program kids. SAVE OUR FUTURE OF EDUCATION HELP DEVOS BE INFORMED TO KNOW BASICS TO BE ABLE TO HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE TO DO HER JOB AND NOT DESTROY THE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM FOREVER OR WORSE ABOLISH IT FROM EXISTENCE IN THIS COUNTRY FOREVER.

Note: some of this I wrote shorthand as originally was to be a comment on a video that was too long so then posted as a facebook post on my own feed that I felt I wanted to express here and share my own perspective to all of you I interact here. You can agree or not that is what freedom of speech is all about and politics are definitely a hot topic today so please be kind and do not throw personal attacks on my physical attributes or character in response keep it on topic about the politics and not on one another’s human identities in this planet we all reside on that is much smaller than we often come to consider. So be polite , respectful and have a great rest of your time on tumblr on this blissful night :)

#Devos education whatnow teachers growth proficency standyourground letshwlpherlearnherjob helponeanothertobetterusall

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