#i need to plan my next semester of classes!!

[what-even-is-sleep]

I come on tumblr for ONE MINUTE to post about my conundrums and all the sudden tumblr becomes my conundrum

#argh #i need to plan my next semester of classes!! #and then the following 2.5 years of classes T-T #all bc i decided to have a silly series of mental breakdowns and take this sem off #alas alack re-routing my entire upper-education career in the course of one night lets do this #(hopefully only one night bc I have to get this approved by my advisor in email at 9am tomorrow morning so that I can register next week) #mypost #Also! other ramblings bc im already on that: #guess what motherfucker got a job (v short term but possibly I can pick up more in the future) that pays 35 FREAKING DOLLARS AN HOUR!!! #i am making 16$ + tips at a café #and 18.53 as a glass flameworking TA (v v cool but also parttime) #can't believe I'm gonna make basically double those other incomes per hour :)

[newtness532]

im so annoyed with everything today, i think i need some tasty food and a million hours of sleep and then I'll be back to normal

#the teacher at the first class today was so dibsjdhdhdhdhsgs 😫 #like she was teaching us things that are like unrelated to the class that shes teaching so idek why she was teaching it #but also its things that we have been learning since the 1st semester and we've done them in at least 10 classes and she was acting like #this was the 1st time we were hearing about it #like oh yeah we're on the 7th semester of studying nutrition but no one bothered to tell us how many calories are in a gram of fat #and she gave us homework 'to see if we know this' like #oh yes i can make a meal plan for a child with crohns or cystic fibrosis or celiac disease or everything else we've done this semester and #all the other semesters but i guess i cant tell you what micronutrients are in this one breakfast meal #like fuck off and stick to what you're supposed to be teaching #anyway i know im getting more annoyed than i should but she was just even more annoying than usual today #like she interrupted the lesson every 5 minutes to yell at someome to be quiet i wasnt even aware there were people talking until she yelled #anyway #also my new earphones aren't working well idk why ive definitely not been mistreating them that much for them to break in less than a month #like i had my old pair for at least 4 years until the broke and i dont think the wire got cut in them like the sound was coming out weird #but there was sound coming out. in the new ones you need to hold them in a very specific angle for sound to come out #and like im careful with how i put them away so what is up with them? #my theory is that they make wired earphones shitty on purpose so that you will spend a lot of money and buy wireless #also we had said from Tuesday that we would hang out with my friends today but i guess they forgot or idk and they made other plans #(to go home and sleep) and during the weekend the one friend wont be here and next week my family will be here so we probably wont hang out #again until next year and we have exams almost immediately so we wont be hanging out much then either #also my period is supposed to come soon and i hope that it will either come today or it will wait until after Christmas #ideally it will never come ever again but we cant always get what we want #anyway im gonna go eat the rest of my μεσογειακό and go take a nap #jo says stuff #personal ramblings

[cantsaythetword]

fuuuuuck ive dug myself such a massive hole and there's no climbing out now

#he speaks #love lying to my parents about how my uni career is going #cause i know they would cut me off from EVERYTHING i care about if they find out im failing anything #so just softening the blow by being like hey im barely passing #(which was still a DIFFICULT convo) #and saying oh im struggling heaps keeping up with readings and assignment deadlines so im just doing the bare minimum cause im exhausted #cause adhd #and them wanting to be super helpful and being like oh give me a list of your assignments and their due dates and your readings #and ill read the stuff and look at your assignments #cause you said you were doing summer semester to catch up on your classes from the trip #but in reality youre not you just said that so your parents would let you go #but now youre gonna have to do assignments over the summer break (aka for the next 4 weeks) and then be stressed about getting set up #and now youre so far in that you have an elaborate plan that you've “talked to the academic advisors” about your struggles and your adhd do #and both said you should go part time #so that it looks like youre graduating “on time” #but in reality youre just catching up on the courses you failed #and still struggling and hating full time #i stg if there were ANY other way to get the qualifications i need for this job #i would have left uni after first semester #i actually fuckin hate it #sorry for the rant lmao #kinda a vent post

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

I miss writing fan fiction

#it’s been like 6 months #I’m just so busy #and I find writing slow and like it uses up a lot of mental energy #so when I’m so busy with writing for school and my internship I have zero energy for fun writing #hopefully next semester I have the time and energy #and I thought about trying to write over break but I need to make a new syllabus and plan the class I’m teaching #and really I only have like a week more home

[orcelito]

Advising appointment within an hour and I really shouldn't be so nervous but I haven't talked to my advisor outside of emails in an entire year now

She's gonna end up mentioning the Dead Dad probably, I just know it 😭😭😭😭

#speculation nation #i told her back when i first reached out a month ago #to explain things and such. idk. #shes a nice person and she was very sweet with getting me some class stuff waived #to make it so i only have 8 classes left to take. #i should probably check out my plan of study to have a solid idea of what i wanna take next semester... b4 the appointment. #idk im just nervous. i dont like people giving me condolences. it just reminds me of what im trying to not think about. #what do you say when ppl express condolences for ur dead dad? like no it's not okay. but like im getting by. it is what it is. #it's just awkward. idk. #well. i will just focus on the important part. my fall semester!!!!!! #ill go check out what i need to take and make sure i dont have any holds on my account #i will make this a nice and effecient appointment. 💪💪💪💪

[elytrafemme]

having depressive episodes in college is such a weird experience because it's like. i'm watching these stars projected onto the ceiling spin around my friend's dorm while my friends play minecraft parodies, and inevitably there's some shitty beer, and i'm laying upside down on a couch until i start thinking about killing myself. and i'm like damn! go back brush my teeth change into pajamas, well, i don't know if the happy days are worth these ones. but i've got lunch plans tomorrow, so i guess it'll have to suffice.

#neg #suicide tw #like i need to answer my friend bc he just saw me five seconds ago so he knows i'm on my phone #and it's a really easy question but like. i don't want to get lunch with him #because we've been at the hip since semester started and i just. i don't know. #i don't like this. i really don't like this. #i don't feel real around my friends these days #like i'm artificially placed. like my personality has completely changed #and some people like it more and some people really hate it #i know the solution is to sleep but like. this is before the depressive episode #i already knew i was acting wrong. and i made plans these next two days and i have people i go to class with #you can never truly be alone in college but like. i don't know #i think if anyone was going to have it happen it was going to be me #i don't feel like i'm capable of this #whatever though. i'll watch a video braid my hair write a poem i'll be fine. i'll be fine.

[airbenderedacted]

did you see the lord hater reference in the newest episode of tgamm?

literally I was going insane his name is lord doom check out the references

OOOOH, I'VE SEEN A FEW CLIPS, BUT I HAVEN'T WATCHED THE EPISODE YET!! (I still have a bit to go to be caught up with TGAMM... it's kinda low on my priority list and I'm bad at keeping up with the things I wanna watch BUT I SO HAVE TO GET TO IT SOMETIME 🌟)

#THAT EPISODE LOOKS SO FUNNYYYY #AOAYHGH I'D LOVE TO SAY THAT I HAVE THE WHOLE REST OF SUMMER BREAK TO DO THAT NOW THAT MY CLASSES ARE FINISHED #BUT I ACTUALLY HAVE SOME PROFESSIONAL EXAMS TO TAKE BEFORE NEXT SEMESTER.. and at least one of them ummm ideally this weekend maybeEEE #because I'm going on a week-long trip out of state soon so AWNASBABNBDS #I NEED TO SHOVE TGAMM S2 PLANS SOMEWHERE... SOMEWHERE IN THE SECOND HALF OF NEXT MONTH- #actually ykw i might've just convinced myself to go watch it Now while I download some sims 3 mods.. hmmmMMm #anyway sorry for the extra rambly tags IT'S BEEN. A BIT. SINCE I'VE GOTTEN TO SPEAK TO PEOPLE OR DO ANYTHING MUCH AT ALL HI HELLO

[pinolitas]

i have finally made a good decision. i am going to get a gis certificate but probably not until next fall cause i wanna do another semester of polish and ive seen the schedule of classes and it interferes with my polish class unfortunately. grad school for linguistics will be shelved for another year. i also am not confident i would get in with my gpa and the thought of having to write a thesis scares me.

#gis is geographic information systems #its like mapping data and using that data make plans #at least i think it is #anyways i need a job to pay for that shit lol #at least the first class you have to take by itself and its only 2 credit hrs so i dont expect that first class to cost too much #and i have time until then #and i could also change my mind by next fall #at least i have money for polish next semester so long as i get a job like soon lol #i keep saying that #but this time fr #like fr fr fr #i now have close to no savings after paying off something i forgot about :( #thats my own issue i guess #anywaysssss #continues applying to retail jobs very cutely while i wait for government jobs to get back to me #apparently those take months to hire and i want one so desperately i do not want a tech industry job

[zemnarihah]

guys i have so much homework this week:(

#and none of its even FUN i never have fun assignments this semester #i have to finish this huge maze for perspective drawing on tuesday. and i have my midterm essay due for art history on wednesday #thats it basically actually i finished all the other stuff today #it just is a lot i rlly am not sure if i actually have time bc i also have work tomorrow #like if i knew i could spend all of tomorrow after class working on the maze id feel a lot better abt it but i will probably have to do a #decent chunk of it on tuesday before class... hate that #god i was trying to vent abt it but now ive stressed myself out i need to go to SLEEP so i can wake up and work on it before class. OKAY #heres the plan. I can do at LEAST 2 hrs before work. 2 hours after. That is a decent chunk done and then I can wake up early the next day #and i have until 5 to finish it. EASY #THEN after class i can start the essay. next day wednesday i have literally the whole day. its only two pages it doesnt have to be good #also i have to do laundry that day bc on thursday im going to visit erik for fall break:) it will be a good relaxing break i hope

[livvyofthelake]

um i already want this week to be over. cordelia you were supposed to fix me wtf girl. (i have not even been reading cordelia. maybe if i had been i would be doing better)

#tomorrow i have to like. film this project but i’m working around my partner’s schedule which is fucking packed for some reason. #it’s like girl quit your job so we can do this lol #and then idk if we’ll even finish tomorrow so that might be my wednesday too. #and then the only day i even have classes this week is thursday. #and the first one will be fine as always. and the second one is the class we have all these projects for #which would be manageable if we weren’t like. a week behind on LEARNING how to DO the projects before their fucking due dates. #this man seriously needs to just lob off a project because like. man if we’re gonna be this consistently behind i cannot keep living under #these conditions this is terrible. i don’t even know for sure that the project is due thursday. it might be due next tuesday. #and like. i’m already turning this one in late so i really need to not be flopping like this all semester. #and then my last class thursday is the adaptations class which ughhhhhh #no i didn’t read the book. i will tonight when i finish this stupid editing project i’m so fucking sick of looking at #and like. i just wish this week had like. a schedule. i wish there was a Plan. you know. #like any concrete plan. so much is just. up in the air idk whatever #and like. i can be chill i’m a chill person in general. but i’m not this chill. shawn you need to get your fucking class together. #shawn is my professor. i might be spelling that wrong idk if it’s sean or shaun or shawn or whatever the fuck #anyway. gotta finish this #and i WILL do my quizzes this week. i will remember #this will not be a repeat of last semester. #beth.txt

[squish--squash]

currently my mental health is precariously held together by cheap scotch tape and a prayer but I think I have some duct tape and superglue lying around somewhere. I just have to find it.

[pctaldrunk]

me, considering smth dangerous:

#ooc : give me a second I need to get my story straight #((ok so i rly like this class)) #((i rly like this teacher)) #((this teacher is looking for a ta for next semester)) #((...i have plans for next semester but i could downgrade those plans a little bit)) #((so what if i work part time in nurse assisting and also the extra 6 hours a week on teaching assisting)) #((the tests are 70% multiple choice so not hard to grade)) #((i only do 1 extra review sesson a week)) #(()) #((SEE THIS IS A DANGROUS THOT))

[strugglingclassicist]

Things I'm doing this spring/summer which I really had not foreseen: learning arabic and reading up on chess theory???

#the arabic makes the most sense bc in my panic about next semester before I got accepted to art school my plan b was to take a class in #Classical Arabic and I thought it would be good to at least know the alphabet and some words and grammar before starting and then I just #continued even after I accepted to the art school #the chess theory one is out of left field tho #but also like I very much have other languages which need my time more than arabic...

[cinnabeat]

dental plans for cats are so fucking expensive

#i need.....a job...... #like asap........................... #ughhhhhh #oh noo #oh no #@ the fafsa gods please please PLEASE tell me how much grant and scholarship money im getting this year #cal grant only being 4 years is such bullshit #i can afford the dental plan i think #but unless my parents pat the leftovers of my tuition for next semester idk if ill be able to afford my school supplies? #i mean i just need a camera i think for my photography class....... #ugh #i really need a job tho......... #fuck #i really wish i had the time for to apply for those internahips #they were PAID 😭 #its like 170$ or something MONTHLY #for the dental plan #thats crazy #its on my card right? #they called me at like idk #almost 9 am and i was barely awake so i was just like yes yes yes #i mean i wouldve said yes regardless but i wouldve like asked clarifying questions or whatever #anywaya #need a job........ #michi tag

[birbtails]

.

#gods #im .. in trouble this semester #which sucks bc i was doing so much better last semester #i stopped going to therapy!! #which i think i knew at the time was a Problem #but my therapist suggested it and i didn't want to but i couldn't come up with a better reason than im worried ill nosedive next semester #to be fair to me while i was feeling so much better i knew i wasnt .. stable i guess? #in her defense i can't tell anyone the whole truth even if my life was on the line #and by cant i mean some combination of wont dont want to and its instinctive #but the problem is im failing one of my classes and im at least a little bit suicidal and i havent told anyone really and gods i feel lonely #(and by a little bit suicidal i mean thinking of ways to kill myself 2 days ago. im feeling better now but i don't trust it) #(by feeling better i mean im not Actively thinking of methods but it definitely crosses my mind as a Possibility) #(although i guess its a bit less i want to die and a bit more i want someone to find me before i die and help me) #so anyways this semester might be replacing 10th grade as the worst year of my life #im just.. so tired #i don't want to keep living like this #and im sucking it up and making myself do better but i Hate this #and ive got to think about summer plans bc i don't want to go back to my parents house but i also Really want to bc i can see my brother and #maybe i can see my friends(?) and maybe if i tell my parents everything that's been going on theyll take care of me? #but i Really want to stay here bc i always regret going home and bc ive gotten used to living on my own and i really like all the freedom it #gives me?? but i need to get an internship or a job or something if i want to stay here but its So Late and now that im thinking about it im #worried that ill be so isolated here that ill feel worse? but if i get a therapist here then maybe itll be okay?? #i don't know #and im almost done with my junior year and i don't know what i want to do with my future and #i just never thought id get this far yknow? i honestly thought i wasnt going to make it to 18 or college and now im almost 21 and so close #to graduating?? and i don't know how to face the rest of my life #im just tired and stressed and depressed #i just want a hug and a friend that i can tell everything to #ne ways im just tired and whiny and i need to suck it up and get groceries and do my hw

[bloomingbluebell]

i think i'll be okay with having this blog just be somewhere to shout into the void. i kinda miss interacting online, and interacting in person always feels... idk, it feels bad and i don't really like it, but i think i'm okay with just shouting into the void

#in person interactions are too risky #like.... i made friends about a year ago now in genetjcs #stayed in contact with a few of them but now one doesn't show up to class and idk what happened to him #(last time he dropped a course we were in together but caught me before the class to tell me) #(it was because i am very predictable and it was an 8am lecture so i always went to tim hortons to get a tea and breakfast before class) #another friend just changed her major into my major actually so she's got a bit of catching up to do #and she's got a lot of repeats too so while i'm almost done with my lower division requirements #she's still working on them #and idk any new friends i make are either not in my major or they just kinda want to talk to me because i help #i'm getting so frustrated with being asked for help #especially without warning bc like i was getting texts when i was in a really bad mental state #abt the lab exam and i was just like 'look. i can't help you rn. i'm freaking out' #and i feel so terrible about it but i don't want to start snapping at people!!!!!! #i'm. not looking forward to next semester i really dont want to take ochem 2 #(i have to take it. iirc it's a requirement for another course i need to graduate) #(and it won't be offered again until next spring at the earliest which i might be using for a work term) #(idk yet i'll have to wait and see if they're actually planning to find more HSCI jobs)