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limpblotter · 7 years

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Asexual!Mads x Troubled!Burr

James Madison is an affection asexual man who finds it increasingly annoying that his best friend doesn’t quite grasp the concept of love with little to no lust involved. Aaron Burr is a struggling prodigy trying to keep his legacy afloat meanwhile watching everyone leap hurdles and go beyond his own limitations. They need some snugs. ___________________________________ “Aw Jemmy has been on the phone all day~ Did you finally get yourself a little side piece” Thomas rubbed his scruff cheek against Madison who was unphased. “Seriously you’ve been sitting there for so long, Sally and I already finished up in the bedroom and you’re still planted.” Usually Madison would leave when his best friend and roommate would have his romantic advances. However this time he was glued to his phone, waiting, texting, waiting some more. Thomas was growing a little suspicious, it was cute at first but Madison had literally stopped moving and now he was getting concerned. “Earth to James Madison.” “I am waiting for my partner to text me, we were going to meet up so we can work on our project.” He finally responded, he had sent Aaron Burr several messages. Some over facebook, some over text messages, now he was ready to call him, he glanced at Thomas’s face and there was a blank expression in his eyes. “The political economics project…for Washington? We’re supposed to have a fully drafted thesis and a presentation. Don’t tell me you forgot.” James was often paired with Thomas he knew that Jefferson had a tendency to fall out of focus. “Oh.” Thomas made a stranger face, as if he was more confused. “You didn’t finish it yet?” Madison was a hard worker; he would have assumed an assignment they were given a few days ago would have long been checked off his to-do list. “damn…” “What do you mean, ‘you didn’t finish it yet?’” Madison placed his phone down and crossed his arms, Thomas had his full attention. “Don’t tell me you made Hamilton do all the work…” There was no way Thomas and Alexander finished their project. They spent half the class ignoring each other and the other half heatedly debating each other over the professor. No, no way. “No. If you must know, Hamilton and I worked separately, then he came to me with, BEGGED me to read over his work so I gave him mine, we exchanged some stuff…he wanted to write it all himself and I was not about to let that nugget of a kid write over my words. So we ended up finishing the project in one night.” He shrugged, they got carried away but at least it was the longest time they were silent and not thinking about murdering the other. “Who is your partner again?” “Burr.” Madison spoke, internally in shock that Jefferson and Hamilton worked together and didn’t cause some nuclear explosion. He supposed in times like this, both men were professionals. “Yea…who dat?” He rolled his eyes. “Doesn’t’ ring a bell, he’s in our class?” Thomas couldn’t even put a face to the name. “Aaron.” Madison tried first name and still Thomas was shaking his head. “Aaron Burr? Dean’s list? Mom was a former Dean of the school before she died? Entirely family has gone to the same university? We have nearly every Washington taught class with him and Hamilton?” Still nothing, Madison couldn’t blame him. He honestly didn’t think much of Burr until they were paired up. He never debated or participated. When he did it was usually in agreement with another statement, piggybacking on the words of someone else. He never really made an impression other than he was present. “Anyway I know where lives we swapped addresses so I’ll stop by. The project is due in three days by midnight and we haven’t even thought of a thesis.” “Rooough, first time you’re not paired with me and you’re still gonna do all the work~” Thomas laughed at him, though it was the first time he, himself, was paired with someone new and he ended up doing more work than he was used to. It was a nice challenge though. “You could stick around, Sally and I are going for round deux and I don’t mind swingin’” He wiggled his eyebrow. Madison’s face was stoic; Jefferson knew well Madison wasn’t into threesomes or any somes. “That’s gay Thomas.” He walked out the door while Thomas yelled rationales why his invitation wasn’t gay at all. It was the first time; Thomas usually made invitations to test this ‘asexuality’ Madison labeled himself as. He knew Thomas could be insensitive but he was persistent. There were questions about masturbation, about loneliness, about ‘maybe you just haven’t tried hard enough’. It wasn’t a matter of trying, it was mentality. Madison knew himself like he knew that the bus he was boarding was going to take him a few blocks towards Burr’s place. He knew that what he felt wasn’t a dysfunction or a lack of effort, it was simply who he was. He wasn’t a cold person…though he was a person who suffered from getting many colds. He was opinionated and polite but he was also affectionate, he enjoyed being around people he cared about. He didn’t see why if he cared about someone there had to be a bed involved. He didn’t feel the urge or need to, as for boners, those were moments of stress relief, and they came and went less than often. And he wasn’t sitting there imagining anyone; it would be like assuming cracking knuckles came with imagining yourself punching someone in the face. Though…Thomas was right, it was rough. There were few people who wanted to really get to know Madison on that companion level if sex wasn’t on the table. He had many uncomfortable meetings with women who were at first delighted at his declaration but also disappointed after a while that it wasn’t an act of chivalry. Then the more awkward, taking it ‘personal’ that he didn’t want to. Where was this pressure to be a man and be good at bedding people? James didn’t know how deeply this all bothered him until he nearly missed the stop. Last second he ran to the front of the bus and darted out, the cold air squeezed his lungs and he started to cough. He walked a few blocks and stopped at Burr’s apartment. He double checked the information they swapped the moment they were paired up and walked up to the door. Like most apartments in New York City the door was broken and no need to buzz in. Madison just waltzed in and found his door number giving it a nice hard knock. He was annoyed, at Thomas for triggering him, at Burr for ghosting him, and at Hamilton for turning his friend into a hard worker. Something Madison couldn’t do even with all the Mac and cheese in the world. He waited, coughing loudly now and still nothing. “Burr are you home!” He called, cupping his mouth so his voice would echo a bit. He slammed his fist against the door again and it opened up, in mid knock. He looked up and Burr’s face was disgruntled. It was unnerving, from what he did remember of their meeting Burr was smiley and all too agreeable. Now he was starting a blood shot, sneering, angry man with tear stains down his hollowed face. “What are you doing here?” he tried to compose himself, was he actually trying to smile? He clearly didn’t look like he should be smiling but he forced it, the his lips trembled into the most half assed smile he’s seen. “…project is due soon and we haven’t met up once.” He spoke. “Alexander and Thomas already finished theirs, I figure it was a sign we should get to it…but..” if this was bad time perhaps Madison should go. He felt…strange being here while Burr seemed so disheveled. Without speaking Burr opened the door more and motioned him in. James took a step in and debated going further…his mind reminded him he had work to do so he kept stepping in. Once he was fully in he started coughing, there was a heavy scent of tobacco looming in the air like a blanket and his lungs were not in a battle with his body. “Sorry. Sorry” Burr muttered as he shuffled towards a window. Madison took in the place while he was walking in more. The apartment was nice, well decorated, flowers in vases (hopefully fake or else Madison was going to start sneezing on top of his wheezing), paintings, books, expensive rugs…so why did Burr not look the part. He was used to seeing Burr well dressed and crisp with a smile. Now he was wearing a wife beater tank top and sweatpants, his posture was all wrong. What happened to him in the span of a few days? “Burr…” He croaked getting a small chilled breeze from the outside now that the window was open. He had some clean air to try and speak with. “Where have you been?” That southern sass came out now that he was fully aware something was wrong. “I’m not one to pry where I shouldn’t” Madison liked his simple life where the only outrageous thing in his life was Thomas and …that was more than enough. “but we have a very serious project so if you’re not committed, say the word, I am more than happy to do it and put both of our names on the paper.” He started speaking, just say yes, was all he could think. Burr would give him the ok, he could leave and save himself anymore turmoil in one night. Aaron looked at him with eyes that were half lidded and empty, wetness gathered around the corners, his face still trying to keep that stupid smile in place while he said nothing. Madison was ready to leave, if Burr wasn’t going to give him an explanation or start working then he’d just go. Madison turned his body around when he heard Burr mumble. “…she’s gone…” He rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palm so roughly Madison was concerned that he was going to push his eyeballs back into his sockets. James might have been without lust but he was not out of emotion. He sat down on the couch near the window letting the clean air cleanse his weak lungs. “Who?” He knew this look once before. Thomas had it after Martha died, tragic, now Thomas had problems keeping a real, meaningful relationship without having the guilt of Martha’s death drive him over the wall. James knew well how to combat grief. “My wife.” Madison looked side to side. “Y…you were married?” Not that it was unheard of, just…he never heard Burr mention the girl. When Thomas met Martha in high school it was nothing but Martha. Now that he was screwing Sally it was nothing but Sally. Hamilton often spoke warmly of his affections towards anyone he regarded close. Burr? Not once did he speak of a woman, not at lunch, not before, during or after class. Just…nothing. Come to think of it, now that Madison was getting a good look at Burr, he didn’t even see a wedding ring. “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Burr looked up at Madison with a half smile, it was almost as sad as his wet eyes. “She left me.” “Oh …shit..” This was a miscalculation, abort, eject, and open the window more. “That…that’s rough.” Madison coined Jefferson’s comment from earlier; he was out of words to use. This was not good at, relationships… Seeing how it was hard for him to even begin one he had no idea how to mend one. “If this is a bad time maybe I should go…” “Go ahead…” He motioned towards the door. “Not like it stopped her…” Madison was about to move but suddenly something popped in Burr, like he couldn’t hold it anymore. He couldn’t just smile and keep quiet. “I waited for her, waited for her to come to me and she ups and leaves. Yes I’ve been busy; I’ve been working hard…and for what? Hamilton gets all the recognition in class. Jefferson is second, Washington barely even sees me. Here am I. I sit, and wait, and study and work hard and here I am…with nothing to show for it.” He placed his hand over his mouth and looked off beyond the line of his sight. He was watching his entire life, everything his parents left him, every ideal he ever built for himself trickle away into obscurity. Just as he felt like his world was finally crashing in on him he felt a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I thought you were leaving…” He tried to compose himself but Madison spoke now. “I know…” He nodded. “The feeling…I stand by Jefferson and you think anyone sees me? The man walks in his all magenta get up and makes himself louder than the opposition and forget if Hamilton is there. There is not getting a word in…so the spotlight doesn’t shine on us…that doesn’t mean we don’t do our part…that doesn’t mean you’re not important in there.” Madison took his hand back. “Washington always said work as though history has its eye on you. The difference you make…you’re making a difference Burr. When I started my first semester, Jefferson was gone. I took on a double major, I worked with Hamilton and wrote 29 different papers. I worked myself every day and night and one day I realized Hamilton wrote nearly double of what I did…and his stride wasn’t affected. His health was fine…me? I was riding the line of breaking down.” This was something he never told Jefferson. He didn’t want Thomas to feel like he couldn’t leave Madison alone, plus Martha passed…it was just the wrong time to be open with him. “When I saw him thriving like that and here I was miles behind barely breathing. I nearly lost it. I tossed my laptop out of a window, had a full break down, and cried it out. And I realized I was alone.” He sat down beside Burr. “it wasn’t easy…come out of it afterwards…it was a lot of telling myself little things at first like, maybe two majors is too much. Maybe working with Hamilton was too much, and comparing yourself. I started to remember the things that made me who I am. That with all the sick days I still manage to be an honor student. With all my allergies I managed to be alive. Out of all my siblings I’m the one at a prestigious university doing something that isn’t farming.” Madison smiled a little. “Remember the person you are, logically, of course there is always someone better…and perhaps waiting around and not taking action is not always the best but that is who you are. You’re still a prodigy…son of a genius, honor student not to mention you were Hamilton’s mentor for the beginning of the semester. Consider his success some of yours too…and…” He paused when he felt a little pressure on his shoulder. He glanced down and noticed Burr was leaning on him. Madison wasn’t sure what to make of this…he felt his face heat up a little. So this was comforting? Thomas didn’t like to be held when he was sad, he got aggressive took it out on whoever he was sleeping with. He’d only talk to James after he calmed himself. It was nice being needed…in a way James could relate to. He felt Burr shake against his shoulder. Cry it out, Madison thought to himself. He moved his body and adjusted himself so Burr was leaning on his broad, stout chest. Madison patted the back of his head. The room didn’t smell so foul…he wasn’t worried about the project anymore. “If you need someone to talk to…maybe not about your wife…but…other things. You have my number now and my address…feel free to call or drop by.” James felt Aaron nod his head slowly, he leaned on Madison for a bit longer, crying for minutes, nearly an hour straight. When he finally stopped, Burr felt strangely at ease. The weight he had learned to smile over was lifted for the first time, his body actually ached like it had been sore from carrying something. He also realized Madison was strangely comfortable for a short…and broad man. He was firm enough where he wasn’t being pushed by the weight of Burr’s body but soft where he almost sank into him like a pillow. Warm…and slight smell of menthol. “You smell like Vics.” Burr finally croaked in a voice thick from sobbing. “Its nice.” He chuckled softly and softly sighed. “This is nice…thank you for staying.” “Anytime Burr…” He held him. This was something he lacked, he craved to be held and needed in just this way. No strings, no teases, no wondering if he had to have that talk explaining himself. There was nothing to this, it was simple. He was here, Burr was here, they were here. “…seriously we need to work on the project. We have to finish.” It dawned on him he was here and nothing was being done. Aaron just laughed a bit and nodded. “I’ll get my laptop, stay the night. Its already pretty late.” He made a motion to get up. Something James didn’t like but staying the night…that was invitation he heard before. “The couch pulls out into a bed…here is a second room if you want that.”

Relief, Madison nodded. He watched Aaron walk away from him and come back with his laptop and a few of his papers. “Notes, we can work on a thesis and use notes as one of our references.” “Reasonable.” James nodded , he slid close to Burr working with him and his laptop building a mock political write up plan for their economics class. It went smoother than when he worked with Thomas. Burr listened, waited, he gave his input and encouraged things and the silence between them wasn’t awkward. Madison yawned a little, Burr followed with a louder one as they worked for a few hours. Somewhere between reading the notes and listening to Burr type, James was lulled to sleep by the sound of the clacking… Skip______ Morning rolled around and Madison, an early riser, stirred. He was laying on the couch horizontally. When he opened his eyes he found he was staring at the back of Burr’s head. He too was sleeping beside him, an inch or so of space. His face was glowing; he felt an intimacy in his heart. Not the kind Thomas talked about, he didn’t feel the need to whisk Burr away but to hold him again like last night and protect the older man from his own demons. James reached out and went to touch the back of Burr’s head when he got a whiff of the couch which absorbed most of the cigarette scent and sneezed. His eyes were huge with horror as Burr clearly tensed at the feeling of being sneezed on. Good work James. You just sneezed on a man. Burr turned his head and to his surprised he didn’t look offended, his eyes were half lidded with sleep and his smile soft, casual and unlike last night genuinely entertained. “That is one way to say good morning.” He sat up, stretching a bit. “Sorry…you feel asleep and I kept working. I must have fallen asleep too…you looked comfy…” He admitted and also admitting…Madison brought certain calm to his chest and mind he hadn’t known. He was afraid the thoughts would come back if he left Madison’s calm aura. James merely nodded and sat up slowly. “Breakfast?” “Excuse me?” James looked at Burr who was smiling a little wider at him. “Do you want breakfast, James?” James felt his heart flutter. Why? Because someone wanted to cook him breakfast, and someone wanted to be around him for the first time? Someone who wasn’t obligated by years of friendship? Yes. “I’ve got a delicate appetite…various allergies…eggs, gluten, lactose…certain fruits and sugars…” “Try me~” Burr’s voice took a playful tone that disarmed him. Madison sat there, cheeks glowing while Burr made his way to the kitchen. “Are you joining me in here?” He called out again and James immediately stood and joined him. _________________________________________ I had fun, this was fun. I really like Burr and Madison. Cute, anxious sidekicks.

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