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zh-lele · 2 years

Text

Break my fall

▪︎Summary: Mark was older than you and so wise, everyone used to tell him he had a gift seeing how good he was at everything he did. More than often, you found yourself wondering if you could ever be enough for someone like him. Donghyuck was the complete opposite; careless and naughty, but he would make you feel the highest on Earth.

▪︎Pairing: Lee Donghyuck x female reader ft. Mark

▪︎Genres: Religious college au, angst, bit of fluff, enemies to lovers

▪︎Warnings: Language, religious themes, drugs and alcohol consumption, a kinda toxic relationship if you ask me, suggestive jokes? 'cause they are college students, you know…

▪︎Word count: +9.8k

Author's note: Very not proof read, I'm sorry in advance. I might edit later. Also, this is a work of fiction that doesn't mean to resemble the members' actual character since I don't know them, of course. The fic doesn't pretend to hate on any form of religion/spiritual way of living since it's based in my own experience and I truly respect however you choose to live. Know this is just my experience thrown into a fic.

There were a few little things you knew about NCIT College at the end of your freshman year. In between the reasons why people could attend a college like yours, there were students with families who had considerable amounts of money to cover the monthly fees. There were also families who wanted to give their children a religious formation or teenagers who discovered that they wanted to dedicate their lives to sacred studies.

In NCIT, there were also some lucky exchange students who got the opportunity to study with a scholarship and have the academic formation and the college life desired by many in the country.

The college was one of the most prestigious ones you could send your children to. With a solid and strict base on the good old Jesuit teachings, the school could be built through the years. Spring was hitting campus and you could sense the excitement and stress that the end of the semester was carrying, along with exams, lots of sport events and several club activities scheduled for the following month. And, for some reason, you always had to attend almost everything, not wanting to miss a single experience of college life. Try every club, attend every basketball game to see Mark, join Mark at every hockey game so he could see his friend, go to every after party, pass every exam, don't miss religious studies on Saturday, don't miss Holy Mass on Sunday; you knew that was what your father expected from you.

Right, Mark. You also knew Mark was the boy you wanted to see everyday and one of those lucky exchange students. In addition, in yours and many others' eyes he was, pretty much, definitely God's favorite; the role model student, the living example of everything is possible if you have faith and believe in destiny. Your friend Mark Lee truly was the definition of dedication and perfectionism. That was exactly the reason why you were trying to take a little, just a little of advantage of that –no, you were drawing on his amazing student qualities, since you needed a last minute, very important, life-or-death favor.

"Dude, I'm honestly so busy right now like, you know how I have practice with the basketball team, the dance team, the band, I have the student council and stuff, I have everything on me man." Mark explained after refusing to help you.

Model UN was one of the activities you decided to join earlier that semester. Firstly, because you enjoyed doing it during high school and wanted to see what the level was in college. Secondly, because you could really use that extra credit that was coming with it. And lastly, to meet cute boys in suits who could invite you to parties later. You were asking Mark to join you on your Model, since one of the representatives of your team had canceled two weeks before the big simulation, and you desperately needed someone to replace his figure.

You only knew two people who you thought were capable of destroying others with words and politeness at the same time in a heated debate, but still be able to establish the necessary diplomatic international relations the second after, to guarantee you some good extra credit for the end of the semester. Those two people were Mark and his best friend Donghyuck. Well, that's another thing you knew about NCIT, and it's that Donghyuck was also part of it. While you trusted Mark to go and do the work to the verbatim, you were afraid Donghyuck just had to cause trouble anywhere he went; it was part of his nature.

You had seen him in action before, mainly arguing with you, since both of you went to high school together and were assigned in all the same classes for years. It was pretty much similar to a torture at the beginning of high school, when all you wanted to do was constantly step on each others heads to see who was better at proving a point in a debate or who was best at cheating on exams. Once you grew up, you started noticing that you two could still disagree and definitely not tolerate each other's opinions, but get a benefit out of each other's intelligence.

Donghyuck became your partner at the time to do exams and presentations because both of you discovered you were good at talking and convincing other people. Establishing boundaries on what topics you would never talk about to avoid discussions and work efficiently, you started doing projects together as well, on those things you could discuss and talk about without wanting to punch each other's faces. From the professors sending you to the principal's office because you wouldn't stop screaming to each other, to becoming the class favorites, life for you and Donghyuck during highschool looked like it could end up decently.

Nonetheless, you knew beforehand about NCIT that your everyday life was going to be harder when you found out Donghyuck was going to attend the same college as you. And you couldn't tolerate seeing his face or talking to him for more than thirty seconds anymore. You went back to stage zero with him after that incident at the last party of high school. The day Donghyuck ruined a friendship of years.

You didn't see him for months after school, until both of you reunited at NCIT college. Him being the only person you knew in a three thousand students campus, you were kind of grateful –but you were never going to admit it out loud– that Donghyuck was the one who introduced you to Mark since they were roommates. The conclusions were that, of course, you liked Mark way more than you liked Donghyuck. And God damn it you knew you shouldn't be using God's name like that, but his roommate was your absolute weakness.

"Mark, please please pleaseeee" you begged with a pout on your lips, grabbing at his arm and preventing him from going to his basketball practice.

Mark bit a smile throwing his head back, and then looked at you with apologetic eyes. Big, dark, shiny eyes that could speak the unspoken and convince you of anything. "I'm sorry dude, but why don't you ask Haechan?"

You groaned at his suggestion. Was he really that clueless? That was the moment you let yourself question Mark's intelligence. You would have to be out of your mind, completely desperate and hopeless to ask this favor of Donghyuck.

"You know he's just gonna flirt with every girl there taking advantage of the suit he will be wearing. He won't do the work properly!"

"But he would look good in a suit, could win you over a couple of interested ones in international relations." He pointed out raising his eyebrows at you, a subtle smile on his lips while he walked back to the gym.

"Sure," you scoffed, "interested in relations with his pen-"

"Yo!" Mark warned, cutting you off. An amused expression looking back at your reddened face. It was hard to hide your true self all the time. "Watch that mouth."

And as soon as you felt Mark's finger softly pressed on your lips, shutting them off, you had one millisecond to melt under his touch until you didn't feel it anymore. He laughed it off, but you knew how much he disliked it when girls used inappropriate vocabulary, so you tried to behave the best possible for his eyes.

You saw him disappear into the gym with a smile plastered on his face, and so all your hopes of spending two whole days with him and seeing him wear a nice suit and tie disappeared too.

A week after, the simulation for the United Nations was a few days close to happen and you still couldn’t find a qualified partner. All your friends were either too busy, which was understandable with exams coming, not interested in giving you a helping hand or too scared of speaking in public.

That morning, the interior of the temple was feeling too cold, despite being full of people gathered to worship the lord. The sun that filtered through the exquisitely ornate windows gave you hope that, perhaps, your interior could feel a little warmer and at peace. As your mind wandered to all the obligations you still had to fulfill when you came out of that ceremony, your eyes couldn't stray from the boy standing in the choir at the end of the temple. Singing with the most beautiful of voices, there was Mark. His gaze remained fixed on the songs, and you forced yourself to get distracted with the statues, the towering columns and walls, the holy long-awaited sky painted on the ceiling. A construction that presented exaggerated arches, delicate vaults and monumental windows that evoked an ethereal sensation and allowed you to approach the sky. How you wanted to be everyday closer to the divine, closer to Mark; however, you just found yourself more often feeling lost and regretful, closer to the ground.

Speak of the devil, and he will be sitting right next to you. Donghyuck was, as usual, late to mass, and was unfortunately your last hope.

“I need someone for my Model UN simulation,” you whispered, getting a little closer to him on the bench.

“Yeah,” he quickly eyed you up and down, like he could sense your insecurities and your fear of failure. He knew since high school how important those things were to you. “Mark told me about it.”

“And? Would you be my partner?” you asked, expectantly he would say yes and you could be over with one of the many things that take away your sleep at night.

Donghyuck got on his knees at the order of the father, whom you had stopped listening to a long time ago, so you quickly followed him on his actions. He sighed a little annoyed, before lowering his head and turning his gaze to you. “Please tell me why would I want to?”

“‘Cause it’s a club activity that would give you extra credit if we do something good out of it.” On your knees, closer to the ground, leaving your ego behind asking the enemy for a favor. Already feeling regretful, because you didn't do it out of humility. Actually, you could have contacted other people, but you knew that no one was as good as Donghyuck. You wanted to win, so you needed him. Selfish. Already regretful. “And I’m asking you for a favor.”

“Alright, I’ll do it. Only because I will enjoy the victory too much,” he finally agreed with a little grin on his face.

“Great! Oh that’s so great,” you felt part of your soul coming back to your body, having one of your great concerns finally calming down. “We are having study sessions everyday from six to eight pm in the library, please make sure you assist to as many reunions as you can,” you asked while sitting back on your bench, your focus now not leaving Donghyuck’s eyes and your mind already planning a ton of strategies you two could develop together at the simulation, “It’s important.”

Donghyuck nodded at you, giving you a kind of silent reassurance. “Don’t worry, I’ll be there.”

—

Donghyuck kept his word and you managed to see him in the library every day before the model. His speeches and his way of standing up to the rest of your classmates when practicing was promising. Watching Donghyuck debate and exchange opinions even with rival Nations was captivating; he did it with grace and nature, without losing his sarcastic and arrogant touch that only made him more attractive and intimidating. He was a born leader. Still, seeing him in action that morning in the current Model was a different thing. The formal suit for sure contributed to perfection. With Donghyuck by your side, you couldn't wait to walk to the front of the award ceremony to receive your recognition for your team's work.

An exhaustive morning defending the freedom and right to protection of American citizens in the digital age, came to an end, leaving the General Assembly of the Nations empty. The two of you had worked hard in the face of accusations of invading the privacy of Facebook users and appropriating personal information for government use. The Nations sure never went easy when it came to attacking America. However, you and Donghyuck were able to politely respond and successfully negotiate with a good bloc of countries, right before lunch time came.

“Hyuck, please tell me you’re not serious,” you sigh at the sight of him when you approach your lunch table.

He watched your face confused, not really getting the message that he couldn’t be having this immature attitude during the simulation.

“We are being evaluated all the time you know, you can’t be playing UNO with the representative of Russia when we are the United States of America! It doesn't make sense at all!” You politely asked the couple of girls he was playing cards with -more like flirting and exchanging numbers than playing- to leave, which only got you as a result a whining Donghyuck.

“My dear partner, you kind of ruin all the fun about this, you know?” He asked you once the table was finally clear of people and cards. “Why won’t you ever relax a little?”

“I’ll relax once I get my certificate of outstanding participation and my extra credits,” you responded, munching on your salad. “We still have to work on this one speech, it is lacking strength and persuasiveness at some points,” you handed him the papers with the highlighter marks.

He quickly eyed the papers then looked at you and a smile plastered his face. Donghyuck for sure thought you were cute, in your little suit with all your nerves on top, and for sure with the corner of your mouth with traces of the Caesar salad dressing. He really liked Caesar salad.

“Do I have something in my face?” You asked when he wouldn’t stop looking at you, and the question got Donghyuck laughing inevitably.

“Actually, yes,” he took a napkin, got closer to you from across the table and gently wiped your mouth.

Naturally, you were a rather shy person who avoided those kinds of situations that could feel somewhat intimate. Consequently, the temperature of your face would rise at any action similar to what Donghyuck had just done, coming from any boy. You weren't turning red or shy because of his closeness, or because of his captivating cologne, or because his eyes were looking so fondly at your lips right after finishing with the napkin.

“You sure you didn’t tell all those girls to leave just to be alone with me?” His sly smile was reflected on his face again.

Donghyuck’s voice got you out of the trance and you felt the air reaching your lungs once again. You were quick to push him away from you and he sat back in his chair. A timid smile inevitably creeping into your expressions. Donghyuck had always been too much to deal with.

“I seriously can not work on our strategies with Russia and Sudan here,” you defended yourself.

Donghyuck was going to have plenty of other moments to flirt, especially at the end of the model, and you thought you'd already seen him exchange numbers with another couple of reps, so you just simply thought you should focus on your work to win the thing.

“Let’s just get this done,” he said, suppressing a laugh and getting back into the papers with you.

The second part of the day in the General Assembly passed. The draft resolution to more efficiently protect Internet users around the world, prepared by your block, managed to obtain the majority of affirmative votes, becoming the resolution itself, and put you on stage with the long-awaited certificate of outstanding participation and a smile full of pride, after weeks of preparation and effort.

On the other hand, Donghyuck looked way too good wearing that suit and his characteristic charming smile, while accepting his own certificate on the award stage. Of course he would be part of a bunch of college group chats at the end of the day and be invited to a couple parties that weekend if he always looked like that.

—

Night came quickly, after you successfully finished your journey at the Model United Nations, and you found yourself coincidentally celebrating your goals at the same time the basketball team was partying for their last victory of the season they got that same day. So yeah, that was the reason why Mark couldn’t be your partner in the first place and the reason why you and Donghyuck, his number one and two biggest supporters, were absent at the last big basketball game that evening. At least, you were there partying and celebrating his victory with him, Donghyuck tried to comfort you. At least, you were there celebrating for him, but not with him, you thought, since Mark was way too entertained with his teammates and all those cheerleaders who were, of course, always prettier and older than you.

You still tried to have some fun and enjoy yourself a little. You arrived with Donghyuck and, being the magnet he was and often called life of the party, it didn’t pass much time since most of your friends got you trapped in the same circle with him for most of the night. The music was playing loud enough and the selection was really good, courtesy of Johnny on the impromptu DJ set. Drinks kept coming by the hand of Donghyuck all night, and you felt pretty confident in your outfit. Still, something was missing. It was obvious that when Mark was in his own world you wouldn't be the one captivating his attention, yet you craved for it.

Donghyuck's presence could bring your feet back to the ground more often than you liked. It doesn't matter if it was his voice speaking in your ear to override the music, his eyes wandering momentarily over your figure or, at that precise moment, his hands on your waist. He had the power to cunningly captivate your senses whenever he was near. And that night, maybe because of spending a whole day together in the model or because of the alcohol, Hyuck felt much closer than usual.

“Thanks for your hard work today,” you told him, slightly looking for his face behind your shoulder while dancing together.

A sided smile and lazy, drunken eyes found you, right before Donghyuck subtly whispered in your ear, “I liked today, it reminded me of old times.”

Both of you were this close once before, anyway. You were foolish once to fall under his spell, to surrender to his charms and his caresses. And, immediately after that, everything you once had was ruined. Thinking little and making big mistakes around Donghyuck had always been too easy.

So when you felt his chest close enough to your back and you finally got Mark’s eyes on both of you, you turned to Donghyuck and started kissing him. Yes, you wanted to make your older friend jealous, but you also were getting tired of fighting against yourself that day. Everyone knew that Donghyuck was too handsome to resist him for long and too good to talk you into a kiss, even to you, who could win all the class debates. So, who would question the situation?

Donghyuck himself would, though. Feeling your lips against his was exceptionally exquisite, right as he had imagined all the time that passed since you last found yourself in that same scenario. As much as Donghyuck enjoyed the bickering with you and observing your internal battles when you two were together -even in the presence of other friends-, he knew he enjoyed this type of interaction way more. In his head, it was only the two of you in the room full of people, him only focusing on your scent, your skin under his fingertips, and your peach flavored lip balm on his mouth. That, until you broke the kiss and took him out of his ecstasy, and he noticed.

He saw the way you looked behind you, finding Mark’s eyes still staring at you. He saw the way you looked at Mark, an expression of absurd revenge masking sadness. And even though Donghyuck knew you liked Mark and not him, it hurt him too much.

“For fuck’s sake,” his hands wrapped around your wrists, to angrily pull your arms away from his neck and your hands that had previously been caressing his hair… affectionately? Falsely?

There were times when you could bring out the best in Donghyuck -even when it meant having him teasing you on a daily basis-, but you could also piss him off like no other person with your arrogant and selfish attitude.

“I really, really don’t like to be used like this, you know?” He told you when you finally had your attention back on him. “Could you at least have some decency and pretend you are not doing it?” His tone despised you.

You already were apologizing out loud the second he turned around to leave, but it was in vain. It seemed like history between you and Donghyuck was repeating itself. You could have it all and destroy it the moment after. You knew he was within his rights to be angry, of course. And you also knew that not only did you do it to make Mark jealous, but you couldn't say that to Donghyuck. In the end, you two were just partners and old rivals, it didn't have to mean much. You could be sure that he would forget as the weekend passed.

Except he didn't. Wednesday's mass had already started when you felt a presence at your side that made you look away from the pretty boy singing with the chorus behind the father. Donghyuck was late to the ceremony, as usual, and you didn't dare to look him in the eye or spare a glance at his figure. You learned that he was also determined to take out all his anger on you that morning.

“Is Mark your god or what? Are you planning on starting a Mark Lee cult?” Donghyuck's voice in your ear brought you out of your trance, not really letting you concentrate on the bible reading. Disgust painted the tone of his usually honey like voice.

Your face quickly turned red as you felt its temperature rise. Yes, it was true that you were somewhat obvious after that party scene, but you thought Donghyuck also loved to get too involved in matters that did not interest him.

"I get it if you are faking being the perfect religious girl for your family, you know…" he continued. "But why are you pretending for Mark? Doing religious studies all of a sudden?" the boy besides you asked in disbelief.

Donghyuck had known you too well for years. Being high school mates allowed him to know things about you, the real you, that you tried to hide hard enough now that you were in college.

You were never too invested or even interested in having a spiritual life; if you went to mass, you did it just to satisfy your parents so then they would let you go out with your friends without bothering or worrying about what you were doing. You loved being free, you liked questioning everything, fighting for your own beliefs and your principles and not having anyone tell you what to do. That was, honestly, what Donghyuck liked the most about you, so it was tremendously difficult to accept the person you were trying to convince yourself that you could be.

He knew, on the other hand, that you only took religious studies with Mark to spend more time alone with him. Maybe that made Donghyuck a little jealous as well. Why could you be so nice and friendly to Mark, but not to him who really knew and understood everything about you, when Mark wasn't even interested in really getting to know you?

"I kinda like him," you confirmed, embarrassment taking over you and making you lower your head. Donghyuck's devilish smirk slipped through your peripheral vision and, anticipating some comment that could hurt you, you looked him directly in the eyes, trying to warn him, to beg him, not to try.

"Remember I have known you since high school? Want me to remember you how you liked to be back then?" He spoke even closer to your ear.

You knew what he meant because since you started college and trying to be closer to God, you felt like your past was chasing you. It's, of course, how they want you to feel. They want to fill your head with their ideas and only make you feel guilty, make you fear God; that's what you often tried to remind yourself when you were feeling at fault, when they talked about the sinners and you felt like they were talking exclusively to you.

It's not like you had a shameful past. You were a regular teenager who liked to have fun. Partying, drinking, smoking, having a bunch of boyfriends and a little fun with them. It was normal in your eyes, yet it wasn't in your parents', or in the school directors, or in your new friends you made at religious studies, or in Mark's eyes -you believed. And Donghyuck was part of that past as well, then why was he questioning you so much like the rest was doing?

Your knees were starting to hurt from all the pressure. You didn't know if it was the pressure of your own painful thoughts and Donghyuck triggering your torment, or if it was because of kneeling on the bench of the Holy temple by the order of the father. Nonetheless, Donghyuck always reminded you how easy it was to stay closer to the ground. Closer to the underworld that reminded you of the temptation to be your true self, your rawest version, always at peak.

You couldn't deny you didn't feel like yourself anymore. It didn't feel right.

"You really think Mark is going to like you if he knows such things about you?" Donghyuck had a way with words, he always did. He made you think a lot more than you needed to at the time, and you couldn't stop the tears from forming in your eyes.

You finally looked at him.

"I hate you, Donghyuck."

"You hate me for opening your eyes?" He didn't stop, "you hate being told the truth?"

"But you are hurting me," you whispered this time, tears already reaching your jaw.

You watched him sit back on the bench and look down on you, a serious expression, not even moved by your tears. Your body didn't have the strength to get up from your position.

"You are hurting yourself," he said while shaking his head, rage actually speaking for him. "And you are hurting others on the way to your downfall."

—

Coincidentally, the days after you met Donghyuck at church would be the busiest of the entire semester. You thought that concentrating on studying for your exams and dedicating yourself exclusively to finishing all your pending projects would be the best thing you could do. You only left your bedroom to attend your classes, and immediately went back to lock yourself up to study and continue working. You didn't feel like it and didn't have much time to see anyone around campus or outside of class. You avoided Donghyuck at all costs, just like you ended up avoiding Mark. You decided that canceling your meetings together would be a good idea to clear your mind and unravel your heart, with the excuse that you should focus exclusively on your classes for a few weeks. The truth was that you weren't going to study too much on Saturdays, but lock yourself in your room to think too much about everything Donghyuck had told you that chaotic day you saw him for the last time, and about what direction you wanted to give your life.

Did you really like Mark that much? The sure thing was that he attracted you. He was older than you and too wise in your eyes, always stumping you with everything he said. His intellect attracted you too much, and of course he was quite cute. Still, you never felt like you could be yourself when you were with him. You could never compete with him, let alone measure up to him; is what you often thought, but still, you wanted him for yourself, more than once wondering if you would ever be enough for a person as special as him.

Donghyuck was right about one thing, or several things, rather. You could never be what you pretended to be, devoted, a loyal follower, a saint. You could lie to your family telling them that you liked school and that you were fine with religious education, but every day you felt that you couldn't live like that, not all the time. Lying was a sin, anyway; so no matter how hard you tried to be the perfect girl for your parents or the boy you liked, you were never going to be. You thought that Mark, on the other hand, came across as quite a genuine person and true to his beliefs, that he would never want to be with a person like you.

For the next two weeks, you didn't go to your classes with Mark, missed a couple of ceremonies saying you felt sick, and devoted yourself exclusively to studying and passing exams. Neither Mark nor Donghyuck would see you at practices -which you always attended together with them, either to cheer on Mark playing basketball or Donghyuck on the ice- or around campus. And, although Donghyuck wasn't about to admit it at the time, he was both sorry and worried about you. He knew how much you could get obsessed with studying, but at this point, he was becoming unhealthy. So, the moment Mark called him to see if he could go check on you, he actually didn't hesitate for a second. He was going to take care of you even if you hated him after everything he told you. There was still some more decency in Donghyuck, even if you weren't going to notice it.

After hearing a knock on the door, you opened it without thinking that you would find the last person you wanted to see, standing on the other side.

“Seriously Donghyuck, go fuck yourself.”

“Please,” he asked, desperate, stopping you from closing the door in his face, “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry I said all that shit to you.”

Your eyes watered again. You weren't sure if it was because of all the stress on you, the 30-page essay waiting to be finished on your computer, because you missed going out and having a normal life, or because of his apologies.

“Mark was pretty worried and asked me to come see you,” he continued, “and I was worried too.”

You opened the door wide to let him in after hearing it. Once you closed it and Donghyuck was inside, you couldn't help but let out a big sob and start crying even more when you felt his arms wrap you in a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry," he said, squeezing you tight. Your head rested against his hoodie and under his chin, as he stroked your hair to try to calm you down.

“Im so fucking stressed,” you told him, not letting go but not crying anymore.

“Do you wanna get out and do something different?” He asked, breaking apart from you and looking at your face, his thumbs gently pressed to your cheeks as he wiped away your tears.

Going to a small reunion with his friends was the best way Donghyuck knew you two could use to distress. After he got your confirmation to go, he somewhat got you to shower and get ready. He waited for you sitting on your bed to put on something different than your pajamas, and he hated himself for hurting after he saw how pretty you looked dressed up and with your makeup done. It reminded him of how good you were doing back in high school, when the two of you used to go out and have a lot of fun with your friends, as well as together alone. You seemed happy back then. If you give him the chance, he was determined to fix his mistakes and make you feel content and loved again, but most importantly, true to yourself.

"Is Mark gonna be there?" You stopped his hand from opening the door to his dorms, where the little reunion was waiting for the two of you.

He denied with his head before letting you enter. The smell of cigarettes, weed, alcohol and young adults invaded your system altogether way too fast. You quickly greeted Donghyuck’s roommates and their friends before going straight to join Yangyang and Jeno, who were sitting on the living room couch.

"Let loose a little, would you?" Donghyuck asked, whispering in your ear from behind and taking your jacket off your shoulders. Immediately, a joint appeared in front of you in Yangyang's hands and you understood what Donghyuck was referring to. After all you'd worked in the past few weeks, relaxing a bit that Friday wouldn't have to hurt anyone.

You took three puffs from the joint and passed it to Jeno. The circle was small, so it didn't take long for it to come back to you and for you to start feeling its effects.

You couldn’t deny that Donghyuck's words really hurt you and that you acted the wrong way with him as well. But, in all honesty, he was the only one in that hell hole of college that really knew you, the one who you could really be yourself with. He was also the person holding the next cup you needed to forget about all your sorrows and your pains that night.

You saw him getting closer to you from all the way across the living room, an expression on his face you couldn't quite decipher. Red cup in hand extended to you, his eyes lazy and bloodshot.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, placing his hands on your hips and attempting to dance with you.

Surely you felt happy and quite high. Your revealed skin was very sensitive under the weed and the alcohol effect combined, and under his soft caresses sending shivers down your spine and making you giggle, you tried to escape his ticklish touch.

“Why dont you let yourself be a little free with me?"

You were trying. You were getting tired of trying so much to feel free again.

Set me free from trying, you thought.

Again, it was getting harder and harder to be around Donghyuck, because you wouldn’t listen to your heart but let your mind supress your needs and your desires every single time you tried to set free.

Donghyuck tried to kiss you, and you wouldn’t let yourself have a moment of peace.

"What… the hell are you doing?" You busted at his sudden closeness with you. "That you took me out of my house doesn't mean shit, you know. I’m still mad at you," you clarified, taking his hands off you.

He standed amused in front of you, with your actions and your rejection replaying in his head. He thought you two were doing better.

"I-,” it was hard for him to find the words and not to repeat the same apology, “I know I fucked up big last time. I'm sorry."

"I don't care donghyuck. It's already ruined, you always have to ruin all my friendships."

You began to feel dizzy as your negative emotions were taking over you. Please, God, this is not the time for a bad trip, I beg you. Realization hit Donghyuck after hearing your last accusation.

"Is that why you are so mad at me? All this time? The past year?"

Long story short, during your last year of high school, most specifically during your graduation party, Donghyuck and you got really drunk and kissed in front of your best friend. Your best friend, whom you know, liked Donghyuck for a long time. It was always hard to ignore the tension between you and the boy, but you were managing it just well, until that day.

"Why are you blaming me, when I didn't like your friend?” He questioned you, totally exasperated, “I’m not gonna kiss someone I don't like, I’m sorry dude."

Kiss someone he doesn’t like? Then… all the times he kissed you…

“Take the fucking responsibility for your actions for once.”

And again, he was right. You had to accept you were kind of a shitty friend. You got mad at him and stopped talking to him as friends after the kiss happened but, was it really Donghyuck’s fault? He knew it wasn’t and, in the deep end, you knew it too. Donghyuck hated having to deal with your immaturity, so most of the time he would just let you be a mess. But when you get mad at him for no reason and you shit on him without caring, he has to make you come to your senses. In a polite and collected way, this time.

“Why do you still care so much, though?” He asked you, much calmer than before. “I didn’t like her. You’re no longer friends, so what are we gonna do if we want to kiss right now? Supress our emotions and be unhappy because of a fucking high school whim?”

Donghyuck watched your head spin and another torment of emotions take over you. He didn't want you to feel bad and cry again, he was really, really worried that you could feel a little better and forget about everything that was bothering you for a moment.

But why couldn’t let yourself have a good time and say fuck to everything that was bothering you? Why couldn’t you concentrate on the both of you? What about stop neglecting your feelings? In that moment, you kind of realized that you were just mad at yourself, mad at the stupid religion, the college, your parents, mad at the society that made you believe you had to be perfect in a way that won’t let you live freely. And you were punishing yourself for all that. When you slowly started tearing up, you blamed it on the alcohol.

“Sure,” you saw Donghyuck genuinely laugh at your messed up state, but you didn’t take it in a bad way. Honestly, you were a complete mess, but the weed in your systems made everything pretty hilarious. “Do you wanna get out of here?” He asked carefully, while he took your hands in his and started to walk you out, already knowing your answer.

The walk back to your dorm was quiet and peaceful. Outside, the night was cold, yet Donghyuck's big hoodie on you would help maintain the heat of your body, and the warmth of his hand entangled with yours all the way could keep yours safe from freezing. The silence wasn't uncomfortable, and you could find yourself enjoying his company under the stars and your face slightly blushing, subtle smiles escaping everytime he would look at you to check how you were doing.

You thought Donghyuck would be leaving as soon as you reached your door, but he asked to enter for a little to help you get comfortable and make you feel better, and you didn't feel like rejecting his offer. It had been a long time since someone cared for you.

"Do you still feel like bad tripping?"

"I-" you started, sitting on your bed and trying to concentrate for a little, "I feel so high, like I'm levitating in the sky."

Donghyuck looked at you with half an entertained and half a worried expression, before telling you to not move from the bed while he made you some tea and looked for some snacks in the kitchen.

"This," you watched him enter the room after what felt like a while, with a hot cup of tea in his hands, cookies and a bottle of water, "should help you come down a little."

"Thank you."

"Should we watch something to distract us from all the thinking…" He suggested turning on the TV.

You accommodated yourself on the bed, your back pressed to the frame as he looked for something interesting to watch. You liked the sight of him in your room, you liked the calmness and the warmth his presence radiated wherever he was, but specifically there, in the place that was your safe space.

"Some cute baby pandas of Animal Planet should make it," when he finally decided on what to watch, he came sitting beside you on the bed, enough space between the two of you to not make things too awkward.

But you craved closeness, you wanted to feel something as good as how his arms felt hugging you again. You craved the peace that came with him, the sense of safety and the desire to just be that he awakened in you.

"You know…" You started after the credits of the documentary started to show on the TV screen, "This feels right, even when they told me this was wrong."

Donghyuck looked at you not really understanding what you meant with that. What are you talking about? Well, it was one of the things that had made you feel extremely guilty for the past months. Aching for intimate company, for someone's touch, for someone's love felt bad. They made you believe it was bad.

"I had an extraordinary class about sexuality at religious studies a couple of months ago," you started explaining to him, "and the professionals told us we shouldn't be meeting with friends of the opposite sex all alone because…" You hesitated and Donghyuck opened his eyes at you, encouraging you to finish your idea, "you know… It could lead to the temptation of… That."

Donghyuck's eyebrows furrowed hearing what you were saying. "What do you mean that?"

"Donghyuck!" You exclaimed exasperated. "You know what I mean, it could lead to, you know, fucking. And they said it ruins your soul when you're not married." Your head lowered, not being able to maintain eye contact with him anymore.

The boy in front of you only could burst into laughter after hearing what had come out of your mouth. Poor kid, he thought -even though he was only a few months older than you. He couldn't help feeling bad at how they could brainwash you and make you feel bad about just being a young adult and behaving normally, with just a couple of those encounters. His persistent laugh only made you doubt all your thoughts and your emotions a little more.

"And? Is it true?" He asked after he calmed down.

"What?"

"Do you want to fuck me right now?"

"Oh! My God, you are unbelievable!" You immediately got up from the bed and watched him start laughing again. You were finally talking about your concerns with him and trying to have a decent conversation, but he had to twist everything. "You really are something else," you shook your head at him with arms crossed in front of your chest, but his laugh was pretty contagious, and his smile would rarely fail to instantly make you feel better.

"I was joking! Come here again," he gestured to you to come back to his side.

"I felt so bad that day, at the class. I felt like they were talking to me because they somehow knew about the things I have done, that I'm not pure and all that shit, like I was a slut or something."

"Those are only ways to control people. To me, it's pretty ridiculous that you would have to neglect yourself from the best things of life like the company of a good friend or even the pleasure and the good feeling of being with someone you like."

You listened to him carefully.

"I think the way you've been living since the year started… It's not good for you. Glorifying my friend so much…" You knew he was talking about Mark, "he's just a guy, you know, like you and like me. He fucks and messes around and has fun but he still decides to live his spirituality without mortifying himself. I really love Mark, I'm not here to talk shit about him," he looked at your eyes to keep talking, "I just want you to know that you don't need to let religion totally take over your life, or behave strictly according to the Bible and deprive you of the good things. You can still get to heaven and all that shit living a normal life."

And that was exactly what you thought your entire life. You recognized the people giving those kinds of speeches, the ones preaching the Bible, clearly had an intention to make you feel wrong and guilty for your actions. You heard them yourself once, a couple of months before you started your classes, how one of the teachers was telling Mark to invite you to the reunions and to convince you to go to mass regularly. And you thought you liked Mark so much that you had to do everything he said or did to have his attention, to get him to like you. But it never felt right. You would often find yourself asking what the fuck were you doing at the religious studies' classroom, what were you doing listening to what that ridiculous historical book had to say, what were you doing faking and sacrificing so much of your life to get the attention of a boy who had shown you, that had no interest in his little sister- that's how Mark would often refer to you.

"You are falling apart," Donghyuck continued, "and it's only your first year here. What happened to the happy girl I met in high school?" He asked and you smiled before rubbing your eyes, trying to supress the tears forming, "I want you to live freely again, live your spiritual life if you want but do what you want no matter what others say because, in the end, you know you are a good person."

A scoff escaped you and it made some tears fall, "I don't really feel a spiritual connection with anything, I don't know if I can live like that," you finally accepted out loud.

"Then fuck it!" Donghyuck grabbed your shoulders and made you look at him through your wet eyelashes. "I'm only telling you this because I care about you. Fuck, I care about you so much and I'm so mad at myself for all the shit I said to you the other day," he dried your tears with his fingers once more. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," you grabbed his hands and gave them a little squeeze to reassure him. "Thank you."

The both of you got more comfortable on the bed. You resting your head on Donghyuck's lap while he softly caressed your hair and another Animal Planet documentary started. You knew for a long time he was how you always wanted to feel, because he made you feel right. Yet, you were scared to accept it, and Donghyuck had trouble expressing his feelings, which made everything more messy for the two of you.

When you felt too tired and your eyes started to close involuntarily, you had to get up or you would fall asleep on Donghyuck's lap at any moment. He stopped caressing your hair at your sudden movement, and watched you sit next to him with the same tired eyes that, probably, you also wore at that time of night.

Your tired mind couldn't really think of anything but his comforting smile, assuring you that he was there for you, and you wished you could stay in that moment forever; with your head in his lap and his touch in your hair, you craved more of what Donghyuck had to offer at the feeling being so good.

The affection that you longed for and could not give yourself or find in others, was right there. You could sense it in the air around you, warm on that cold night towards the end of spring. It managed to remind you how much you loved summer and sitting on campus in the mornings, while the sun was caressing and coloring your skin. So you thought, Donghyuck's presence actually didn't feel too far from the summer feeling you looked forward to every year. You enjoyed summer as much as -you found out that night- you could enjoy spending time with Donghyuck.

His eyes fixed on your face implied a question that you really didn't need to hear. There was some concern there, so you decided to answer with a sigh that released some tension in your body and a subtle smile for him. Don’t worry, everything is fine, at this moment, with you. Your body couldn't resist the urge to show it, how good you felt by his side, and how much you wanted to feel like that for another while. You were quick to press your lips to his, and even quicker to take the kiss back.

"I’m… sorry," you apologized, heavy panting. The simple act of being so close and intimate, the thought of getting so comfortable with someone, with him, could take your breath away. "I want you, though, I’m not playing with you. And I'm sorry," you finished speaking almost in a whisper, the action of looking him in the eye being almost impossible after letting yourself be carried away by emotions and impulses.

Donghyuck looked hesitant. Logic didn't rule his head when it came to you, and his desires and emotions came to light from his most primitive hiding place; he longed for you as much as anger would take over him because of your attitude sometimes. Letting that storm of feelings ruin the good moments shouldn't be something that happens again. Could the two of you make things right and try to have better communication for once?

"How do I know this is not the alcohol making you do things again?" He doubted. You had hurt him before and he had hurt you as well.

"It's not, I swear. This is just a moment of vulnerability," wasn’t the answer he was expecting from you, not at all. But you decided to keep talking, "but not just a moment. It's-" you tried to find the right words, "I feel like I can be myself when I'm with you, I can be honest, I can even cry and feel genuinely at peace. I like it."

Donghyuck's heart squeezed so hard hearing you that, when he felt the oxygen coursing through his veins once more, he realized that his heartbeat was no longer normal. You finally seemed to like who you were when you two were together, and that made Donghyuck believe that his heart was going to explode with happiness. His sparkling eyes and his amazed mouth showed it; still, he tried to keep the composure. You both knew that this was a moment of vulnerability that didn’t need to be exploited much more, to not to rush things, but also to see how the future could unfold more naturally and smoothly this time. You could help the universe take you where you wanted and how you wanted to be.

"You wanna stay over?" Your voice couldn't come out loud, but you still managed to ask, this time without taking your eyes off his shiny ones in front of you.

Donghyuck couldn’t fight back a smile after hearing the offer.

“I really should go back to check on my dorm, there's a party still going on there, remember?" He laughed at how he was supposed to leave only to walk you home, but ended up staying with you for hours.

Your eyes only grew wider at the realization, and you felt your whole face increase in temperature after such a blatant question. "Oh God! Oh my, yes, you are right. Oh my god I'm so sorry I didn't mean to keep you here for so long,” you said while getting up from the bed and already starting your way out of the room.

"It's okay, I wanted to,” you heard him talk from behind you, and you thanked you weren’t facing him because his words only got you blushing even more than before.

"Bye, Hyuck," you greeted him at the door of the dorm, his figure already out in the corridor.

"I'll see you around," it was an affirmation.

And well, this time you kind of wanted to keep seeing him around.

"Sure, thanks for everything," you waved him goodbye before closing the door and going to sleep.

That night, the stormy thoughts did not invade your head, taking away your sleep. In its place was the memory of Donghyuck, gently stroking your hair and comforting you; the sensation of his soft lips remained on yours making you lose your sanity a bit. He filled you with thrill and you wanted more of it, but you also hoped to be good to him.

—

It was the last hockey game of the season and you had accompanied Mark but this time, exclusively to see Hyuck play. He had been asking you the entire week to go, and when he begged you with his little pout and started behaving like a baby you only had two options: to accept because he was irresistibly cute, or to accept because he would get extremely annoying. These were his charms, afterall, and you had been kinda falling for it. He waited for you after your classes to walk you home, and you looked forward to his smile to brighten up your days. You could slowly feel spring coming, as well as your adoration increasing for the boy who looked like the sun even during the cloudy mornings at campus, and even when it was rainy and cold outside, it felt warm with him around.

You looked for Hyuck after his team won the match to congratulate him. You found him cheering with his teammates right before he could enter the dressing rooms.

"Hey! Number 66!"

He turned around at the sound of your voice and the biggest of smiles took over his face.

"You came!" Donghyuck exclaimed while spinning you in the air, arms engulfing you in a big hug. He felt like a bear with the hockey uniform on. That was the cute appreciation.

"I mean… You looked pretty hot in a suit, but I definitely couldn't miss seeing you in this uniform," you said, eyes on his broadened chest after he put you on the ground.

"So you think I'm hot?" A smirk was present on his face, his arms now around your waist keeping you closer to him. You rolled your eyes at his question. Think before you accidentally inflate his ego even more.

"Please, don't make me say the obvious."

Mission failed.

"Don't worry baby, it was enough."

If it was possible, he put you even closer to him and then moved one hand to the side of your face to pull your lips together. The coldness of his kiss contrasted to the red on his cheeks and nose, but it was quick to fade away the more you kept reciprocating his affection. You could feel his soft smiles in between the kisses, and it made you smile as well. His gentle stroking of your cheeks would send shivers down your spine. You knew you could feel like that forever; happy, tranquil, safe, finally at peace in Donghyuck's hold.

You don't remember how much time passed before you heard his teammates screaming and teasing him about it and even Mark's typical "Oiiiii's" from behind; your senses barely functioning again after being completely blown out by Donghyuck's presence.

"Just ignore them," he said laughing, both of you trying to catch your breaths with your foreheads pressing together; his soft touches never leaving your face. "God, you don't know how much time I waited for that."

You laughed at the sudden confession. "Don't use God's name in vain!"

"But I prayed to him every night to let me kiss you again."

"You are fucking lying."

"You are right, I paid Mark to pray for it."

"You-" you were lost at words, not being able to tell when Hyuck was messing with you and when he was not, but with a smile still plastered on your face, "you didn't?!"

He nodded at you looking proud of what he had just said. He was too much to handle.

"You still owe me a favor, you remember?" He asked separating from you and starting to walk inside the dressers.

"What do you want?"

"Go on a date with me, and after that I'll make you my girlfriend."

You stood amused, and he disappeared from your sight after sending you a wink and a flying kiss. You felt your heart combust and the butterflies on your stomach threatening to come out any second. There was one more thing about NCIT College you knew by the end of the year, and it was that you really, truly liked Donghyuck, and you were ready to face it and let yourself finally feel free by his side.

Little bonus:

Taglist: @legbouk @seungjiseyo @bananaxsydeee @neoturtles

#haechan fic #haechan oneshot #haechan x reader #neoturtles #k-radio!#lee donghyuck x reader #lee donghyuck #nct haechan #nct fic #nct 127 fanfic #nct dream fanfic #haechan scenarios #haechan imagines #lee donghyuck fic #haechan angst #haechan fluff #zh-lele

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scorpiobitch95 · 3 years

Text

Summary: You try convince Walter to love your favorite snack throughout your years together. The best dates are shared over cereal, after all.

Pairing: Walter Marshall x Female Reader

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings: sugary sweet fluff, implied smut — nothing graphic, snarkiness, grumpy Walter to fluffy Walter, cursing, cuteness overload.

Author's Note: I let myself get carried away with this one. I needed grumpy but sweet Walter in my life. I hope you enjoy!

Edited by myself, sorry not sorry for the errors.

Taglist: @justaboringadult @greensleeves888 @cavillsharman @beck07990 @summersong69 @myloveforhenrycavill @kebabgirl67

Taglist for this fic: @lumiousmoon

*No permission is given for reposting my work, copying it, or claiming any ideas or parts as your own.

Please comment and reblog if you enjoyed!

It started when you and Walter were early dating.

💋

“Mmmm, pause. I need a snack.” Uncurling yourself from Walter’s warm body on the couch, you made your way to the kitchen to find something to cure your hunger. You called behind you, “Want anything, Marsh?”

“Whatever you’re having... I’ll have the same.”

“Cereal it is!” You pulled the ceramic bowls from the cabinet and opened the fridge to grab the milk. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Walter’s face scrunch in confusion. “What?”

“Cereal? Absolutely not,” Walter scoffed. “Would you grab me those spicy crisps?”

“Spicy chips, coming right up.” Vernacular was the subject of an ongoing heated debate with the Brit: the great ‘Names for Snacks Debate’ was especially hostile.

Once settled back under the blanket and snuggled into his side once more, you unpaused the movie. The energy in the room shifted, you could sense that you were being watched, but you refused to look up to look at Walter’s face. The judgment coming from the bear of a man who crunched his chips beside you was glaring.

"Stop it," you told him as you kept your eyes on the movie.

Walter didn’t say a word. His eyes traveled back to the TV but kept finding their way back to you.

“Walt, what is it? Is there something on my face?” You giggled at him lightly, unsure of what was bothering him.

“You really chose that for a snack?” His face was bewildered as if you were eating a bowl of Jeep parts.

“What? Don’t tell me you don’t eat cereal as a snack.” He shook his head curtly, wearing a look of disgust. Your eyebrows crinkled together as you followed by asking, “Not even as a quick dinner?”

“Cereal is meant for one time and one place, and that’s sometimes in the mornings for breakfast. That's why they call it breakfast cereal, love. Not dinner cereal, not snack cereal... Do you also eat cereal for lunch?” He was poking fun at you now.

“No, I’m not a heathen, Walter. Here, try a bite, just trust me. It’s amazing as a movie snack.”

His eyes were wide as a grimace was sent in your direction, “You’re crazy — no one does that.”

“Plenty of people do that,” you stated matter-of-factly.

“I’m really not the biggest fan…” Walter sighed and settled further into the couch, preparing for your exasperation that he knew was soon to follow.

“WHAT. Not the biggest fan of cereal? I’m sorry, you were sheltered as a child, weren’t you? There's cereal out there for everyone, Walt. Come on, try it.” You scooped a spoonful of your sugary Cinnamon Toast Crunch and held it to him. He reluctantly obliged your wishes, eating the bite but keeping a look of pain on his face for the entire time he chewed.

"See? Delicious. Ice-cold, crunchy, sweet, perfect." A sugary grin accompanied your playful tone, and Walter shook his head again, exaggerating his distaste for having to chew such an atrocity.

"Mhm. Definitely delicious." Your goofy bear was simmering under the surface of his scouring demeanor, though he stuck his tongue out in mock disgust.

"You're not the biggest fan," you muttered under your breath and rolled your eyes for dramatic effect. "I'll show you."

💋

Standing in the grocery store, you and Walter were having a battle of wits, arguing on the subject of your sweet tooth.

“I’m just trying to show concern for your dental health since you obviously won’t; all that sugar isn’t good for you.” Walter stood stern with his arms crossed, unmoving and solid like a brick wall.

“I appreciate your worry, Dad, but I’m going to keep eating it because I love it. One day, I bet I’ll convince you and you’ll be eating it with me. Plus, my dental health is immaculate, my dentist said so.”

The expression on Walter's face was unwavering as his eyebrows raised in a non-verbal challenge to your declaration.

“I don’t know how you can stand to eat that crap,” he muttered, thinking you couldn’t hear him.

“Oh no, don’t you dare, you grump! I don’t get on you about your snacks, back off mine. ” Despite his unnecessary grouchiness, you placed a hand on his crossed arms and raised up on your toes to give him a soft kiss on his bearded face. “Balance, babe. It’s all about balance.” You dug your way through his arms to find his hands and you drug him a little further down the cereal aisle.

“Come on, grumbly, pick out a cereal you think you might enjoy, for experiment’s sake.”

💋

“Fuck, babe. I’m going to be late, we just got called out on another accident. I am so sorry… I’m not sure when I’ll be home.” Walter had been working a ton lately, and his irritation with just how much he’d been working was starting to show. The two of you had been together for a few months now and had started to grow accustomed to having the other around consistently. You both became out of sorts when you hadn’t seen each other in a while.

“Don’t even worry about it, Walter. Just be careful, please... You should still come over when you’re finished tonight, but no pressure if you’re exhausted.”

“Of course, still need to kiss you goodnight. I can’t sleep if I haven’t.”

Walter Marshall might be a grump, but that grump could make your heart flutter in ways that you’d never felt before. Maybe it was that his sweetness and his charms were completely reserved for you and you alone. His teddy bear nature only appeared when he was near you. After putting back the ingredients for dinner to save for another night, you went to change into your sweats.

Walter appeared at your front door at 12:30 that night, nearly asleep but still standing strong. You’d dozed off on the couch after his call, but were immediately energized again when you saw his beautiful form standing in your doorway.

“Hello, I’m here to have a very late night date with an incredibly beautiful woman,” Walter said, the gravel in his voice making you shiver. Despite his exhaustion, Walter managed to smile at you with one of the biggest smiles you’d ever seen him manage.

You smirked, waving him inside. “Get in here, Bear.”

Walter reached his arms out to you, inviting you into his embrace. Your arms wrapped around his thick torso and you ran your hands up and down his sweater-clad back; he melted into you and burrowed his face into your neck. Walter released an exhaustive exhale. It was heavy and forceful, as though he’d been holding it back behind a stone barricade for the entirety of his day. Warmth flooded your body as his words vibrated from his chest, “Mmm... I missed you.”

“I missed you, too. Let’s get you fed. Preferences?”

Still snuggled in your neck, he gave his reply, “Nothing heavy, please. I don’t want to fall asleep at the table. That wouldn’t make for a good date.”

“Oh Walter, we can postpone date night, you need to eat something and get to bed. It’s nearly one,” you observed gently as you leaned your head back to get a better look at his face.

“No. I came here to have a date night. I’ve been looking forward to seeing you all day. I need you.” Walter’s warm lips caressed your forehead, placing soft kisses on you. “You think you’re still up for it?”

Nodding at him sweetly, you untangled from his embrace and went to tumble through the fridge, offering out suggestions for food, but he insisted, yet again, that you don’t go to any trouble.

“Okay… you’re going to hate it, but my last option is cereal. Other than that, it’s gonna be random leftovers.” You continued moving containers around in the fridge, taking stock of what you had left from the week before.

“Actually, I think I can handle some cereal.” You whipped your head around incredulously to look and heckle him, but he gruffly interrupted, pointing a finger at you from where he sat at your kitchen table. "Don't. Don't start. It's been a brutal day, and something cold doesn't sound half bad."

You smirked in silence as you turned back and poured your bowls, dancing your hips lightly side to side. Grabbing the candles you had left out for your dinner date, you lit them and placed them gently on the table between the two of you. It was date night, after all.

“Late night cereal date, it is.” Reaching down to caress his chin, you kissed one bearded cheek before sitting beside him. Walter’s lips held a slight curl, softly smiling at your glee.

💋

“Love, snack break?”

The two of you were engaged in an intense game of Scrabble, one of your favorite date-night-in traditions. Nodding your head in Walter’s direction, you continued to study your letters and the board with pure focus until you heard the twinkling sound of cereal hitting ceramic.

Not wanting to draw too much attention, you peeked up from your letter rack to make sure your ears weren’t deceiving you. Walter was not just making a bowl for you, but he was also making one for himself.

No way.

Walter made his way back to the table with the cereal, and you looked up at him in shock as though you hadn’t already noticed what he’d done.

“What is this? What is this I see? Walter Marshall choosing breakfast cereal as a snack? Why, I just cannot believe it.” Mock-surprise overtook your form as you motioned fake mind-blowing explosions from your head. Walter rolled his eyes.

“I figured If I can learn to like you, I can learn to like cereal.”

“HEY.”

Walter shrugged, retaking his seat at the table.

You squinted your eyes at him as you declared, “You’re going down for that. And I don’t just mean by losing this game.” A wicked grin crossed your face when you played your double score word:

“CHEERIO”

💋

Walter worked a lot of graveyard shifts while you were dating and during your early years of marriage while you worked a normal 8-5. Sometimes the only moments that you could see each other were when he came home from his shift early in the mornings before you started your day or in the evenings when you got home before he left to start his.

One early morning during your engagement, Walt showed up unannounced after a hard few nights at the PD. He was worn down but happy to see you, smiling through his exhaustion. This was the longest you’d been apart in a while; you hadn't seen each other in 4 days. You kissed him, lips attacking his while his arms snaked around you and pulled you tightly to his body. He hadn’t even come into the house yet.

Pulling him inside, your hands reached up to hold his scruffy face as you placed a more gentle kiss on his lips. “Babe, have you had dinner? Let’s get you something to eat… what would you like?”

He unfastened his holster, dropping it on the table by the door. Sinking into a chair, Walter bent over to untie his boots as he answered, “Honestly, anything is fine, just some kind of food.”

“I can cook you something! Why don’t you let me —“

“Sweet, don’t go to any trouble. I just want to see you before you go to work.”

He looked at the table where you had just sat down to a bowl of cereal for a quick breakfast before he arrived and pointed lazily to it. “That, I’ll take some,” he said, sleep trying to overtake his form.

Slowly grinning at his statement, you mentioned, "Isn't this technically your dinner time?" Walter wasn’t amused as he tilted his head to look at you as you gasped playfully, “You do realize you're about to eat cereal for dinner, right, Marsh?" Too sleepy to give his verbal rebuttal, he glared at you, the corners of his lips turning up slightly, which was your signal to accept your victory and move on.

Smiling softly back at him, you made your way to pour him a big bowl and made him a cup of piping hot tea to accompany it. Watching his face as he ate, you observed the little creases and purple-gray rings that had formed around his deep ocean-blue eyes. His beard was unkempt and had grown past its normal length just in the few days you’d been apart; you could see this was a new level of exhaustion.

“Tough night?” You asked him, moving your chair closer to him.

He nodded. “Very.” The nights were becoming more strenuous recently. Ever since he had switched to the detective unit, work had been holding him hostage and was taking a toll more than he’d like to admit.

His hand reached over to squeeze the free one lying on your lap. “I’m happy to see you, love.” The hard lines on his face softened as he traced lazy circles on the back of your hand with his calloused thumb. You could see in his eyes that he meant it, that you were his safe space. Walter always was in protection mode, always on alert, even though you tried to keep him at ease when he was with you. He was only really ever at ease once he was home and you were safe in his arms.

The food began to rouse him from sleepiness, and as he gained alertness, Walter’s brow furrowed as he took notice of the cereal box sitting on the dining table. “This is the one we’re eating? I expected you to be eating more of one of those tooth-rotting cereals that you love so much.” He looked over at the box of Honey Bunches of Oats with curiosity and then back at you, lifting what you called his ‘detective eyebrow.’

“This is… surprisingly somewhat better for you? Or at least it acts like it is.”

“Oh come on, I’m not that bad. I only let you believe that I am. It is my breakfast time after all,” you winked at him knowingly.

“Good to know my words are finally starting to sink in. I mean, it’s not that much better for you,” he was reading the box now, “but at least it isn’t borderline fluorescent, like those artificial fruity ones you’re always eating.”

“You know, it’s almost like I expect the hate and just enact my deflection shield every time you walk in the door.” You started giggling, unable to keep a straight face as you threw your arms in front of your face as a shield to his words. “Don’t worry, Walt, my guilty pleasure cereal collection is well-stocked. And quit hating on my Fruity Pebbles.”

💋

Slowly over time, these seemingly random cereal dates became a large foundation for quality time. These dates became like snapshots, each one memorable in its own way.

When you two hadn’t seen each other in days, you caught up over a cold bowl of sugary sweetness. You, telling all the details of your days; him, quietly listening and trying his best to leave his nights behind.

From then on, all it took was knowing you could have a cereal date mixed in the chaos of everyday life. Anytime things got hard or heavy, it was time to have a cereal date. Anytime you had a fight: you both would pause and make a bowl of cereal, sitting across the table from each other so that you could speak your feelings. There weren’t many of the world’s problems, or your own, that couldn’t be solved over sugary cereal and cold milk.

💋

You’d dragged Walter to your shared bed as soon as he’d arrived home, having not seen him for more than a few minutes at a time for the past month. This current case of his was intense and ongoing, but he was finally finished. You knew he was defeated in energy, but you were ovulating and your hormones were raging. Your body craved his touch and the feel of his skin gliding upon your own.

The plan was to go to dinner for a romantic evening since it had been a long while since that had been possible, but as soon as he walked through the door, your feral sexuality washed over you and you jumped into his arms. You clung to him with your face in his neck, taking in his scent and the warmth of his strong arms holding you up. He clung to you just as tightly. There was no complaint from the bear, for he was more than happy to spend the evening spoiling his lover.

Cuddling in the afterglow of your countless orgasms, a storm raged outside as tree limbs slapped at your windows incessantly.

“Wow, it sounds awful out there. I know we were going out, but I think that point is moot now.” You glanced up at Walter, kissing his jaw. “Let’s just cook something easy instead.”

“That sounds great, and we can stay naked.” Walt’s eyebrows danced flirtatiously as he grinned down at you, his hands caressing your warm skin. “I’ll go hunt around so I can keep my woman energized for the night ahead. We are nowhere near done.”

He’d only been gone a minute when a crack of thunder shook the house and the lights went dark. You heard his mumbling coming from the kitchen; he had called in to get a status update from the energy company.

Walking back into the bedroom, Walter, in his naked glory, walked over to where you laid, illuminated only by the candle he held in his hand. Wow, your husband was delicious.

"Power’s out for the whole city. It’ll take hours since this storm doesn’t have an end in sight. Looks like a hot dinner is off the table… and no one will deliver in this weather. I guess we know what’s for dinner." Setting the candle on the nightstand, he crawled back into bed.

Feeling seductive, despite being completely spent from your ravenous love-making mere minutes beforehand, you still hadn’t had your fill of your husband. You bit your lip as you ran your eyes up and down his exquisite body and cheekily replied, “Me, I hope.”

He chuckled lowly, the fangs in his pearly-white smile glinting at you in the candlelight. “You? Yes. I plan to feast on you all night long, kitten. But you’re going to need some sustenance first.” He was hovering over you. You couldn’t help yourself as you reached to run your fingers along his hairy chest and wrapped a leg around his hip, pulling him closer to you.

"Make it a cereal date?" You grinned at him.

“You read my mind.”

💋

“Our child is going to come out looking like the Lucky Charms Leprechaun if you don’t change it up some, love.”

Your cravings were intense. You’d heard several different views from your girlfriends and sisters: some craved random things they never even liked before, and some craved more of the things that they already loved and ate religiously before pregnancy. You fell into the latter. Cereal was your most sought-after snack: a big surprise to no one.

There weren’t many cliche late-night ice cream runs, but there were plenty of cereal and milk runs. Walter was a dutiful dad already, not lecturing you too often on what you wanted; he knew you were doing what you had to for the baby, and you ate healthily enough… aside from the copious amounts of junk cereal.

True to numerous other times in your life, date nights were hard to come by, even still. Sometimes the only dates you and Walter would get were in the wee hours of the morning when you’d wake up with a craving.

Walter was extremely doting, and even though he’d always been a caretaker, he really came into his own when you both learned you were to become parents. He’d crawl from the bed without a word, rummaging in the kitchen to bring you a bowl of your favorite and even bringing a small one for himself. You two would snuggle in the bed and talk. Talk about your baby, about future babies, about the future, about your dreams, all of it. You never knew when you met the grumpy bear that he would become this sweet of a man, always tender with you even when he was rough. Maybe it was the cereal sugar that had sweetened him up, at least you’d like to think so.

💋

Your daughter had been in the world for a little over three weeks, and neither you nor Walter had gotten much sleep since her arrival.

Walter finally got her down to sleep while you watched from the nursery doorway. You hadn’t had a meal together or slept at the same time for more than 10 minutes in weeks.

He was standing over her crib, resting his arms on the side as he watched her sleep. He was infatuated with this tiny human who had completely taken hold of his heart.

“Honey, join me for a date?” Your smile was tired, and as your bear’s exhausted eyes met yours, you wondered if you two shouldn’t just go to bed, but you missed him. You’d barely gotten the chance to praise him for how good of a daddy he was to your little girl.

“Mhm, gladly. Our usual?” He quietly followed you to the living room, where the coffee table had already been set up with the works. Craving the feel of his touch on your skin, you both sat on the couch and you laid your legs across his lap while you enjoyed the serenity of each other’s company.

💋

A chill glided across your skin as you awoke from a dream. You rolled over, reaching your arms out to find your sturdy man, searching for his warmth. Instead, you found cold bedsheets.

Unlike Walter to not be in bed with a furry arm draped over you, you pulled on your robe and went to find him, a slight worry filling your mind.

Surely he would have woken me if he’d had to go in?

As you stepped into the hallway, you heard hushed giggles and whispers coming from the kitchen. You stopped to poke your head into your kids’ rooms. Their beds were empty.

At least it’s Saturday.

Quietly pitter-pattering to your kitchen, you peered your head around the corner to find one of the sweetest sights your eyes had ever seen: your two babes, 8 and 5, were playing a princess board game at the table with your Bear. Cereal by their side, giggles ensued as the sugar hit their systems and they tried their best to keep quiet.

Walter’s deep whisper quietly filled the space. “Shh, girls. We can’t wake Mum, she needs her rest.”

“Can I have more Cap’n Crunch, Daddy?” Your youngest had an insatiable sweet tooth, just like her mama. She was quietly bouncing in her chair and smiling a toothy grin at her daddy.

“You’re just like your mum,” Walter beamed at her, obliging her wishes. “Just a little more, love, then we need to brush our teeth and get back to sleep.”

Not wanting the girls to know that you knew about their secret, you decided to make your way back to bed, but not before catching your husband’s eye as he winked at you and a grin radiated from his face.

Warm tingles filled your body as you silently thanked the universe for Walter and the life that the two of you had built together. Walter was the best dad and husband in the world. How had you gotten so lucky?

💋

“Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Golden Grahams, love?” Walter called to you from the kitchen.

The movie was selected, the kids were away for the evening sleeping at friend’s houses, and you and Walter were having a much-deserved night in.

You called back to him, “I’m thinking I’m going to skip the cereal? I’m not really feeling it tonight. I will, however, eat the spicy chips. Oh, and grab that dip out of the fridge, will ya?”

“For the last time, they are crisps.” Annoyance was evident by his tone.

“They’re chips, Walter. You’ve lived in the states for how long now? Just give it up already.”

“No fucking way. Wait… You don’t want cereal? Are you feeling alright?” Walter’s head popped into the doorway that connected the kitchen to the living room, his face stern with confusion and concern.

“Ehh, not right now. Yes, I’m fine, Marsh,” you giggled. “Just feeling like something different for once.”

“Well, that’s shocking. I’m just wondering if you’re really my wife.” Giggles continued to flow out of you as he wandered back to where you were seated. He handed you your snack, and plopped on the couch next to you, cuddling into you as you tossed a blanket over both of your bodies. Walter started the movie and began to chow down on the bowl of cereal he’d made for himself. You couldn’t control the smirk that spread across your lips as you watched him out of the corner of your eye.

“What?” he asked, his mouth full of the golden and cinnamon squares. His eyes met yours, questioning you.

“I would just like to point out that I knew I could convince you.”

His brow furrowed in confusion, not sure what you meant. “Convince me of what?”

“That cereal is the best movie snack.”

“I don’t know if I’d say it’s the best…”

“Walt, I’m sitting here with your previous favorite movie snack in my hands, and you totally skipped over it and went for cereal. I’m just saying, I told you so. It’s okay, I’ve known I was right all along, you don’t have to admit it.”

“Hmm.” He growled, mouth full again as he ignored your statement.

“Give me a bite!” You pressed closer to him, reaching for his spoon as he angled his body and cereal away from you.

“Oh no, nice try. You tease, you don’t get any.”

“Fine, grumpy, I’ll go make my own. Keep watching, I’ll be back.”

Shuffling to the kitchen, you proceeded to grab a bowl and make your own, but you found both cereal boxes empty on the counter. Quickly turning to check your special cereal cabinet for a backup box, you discovered you were completely out.

“WALTER! Are you fucking kidding me? We just bought those!” Standing with your arms crossed in the doorway, you glared at Walt as he stared back at you unfazed.

“I hate to break up your gloating, but you created this monster, love. And don’t forget about our two other little monsters who take after you.” His grin was cocky; he knew he’d bested you. Laser beams could have been shooting from your eyes for all you knew. You shook your head in disbelief at the audacity of your husband.

That bastard. That beautiful bastard.

Walter smiled softly at you and motioned for you to rejoin him on the couch. Much to your dismay, your anger at him diffused immediately. “Love, I’ll go buy more first thing in the morning. Here, come and share mine. I’ll be nice… it is date night, after all.”

* I do not own Walter Marshall, Nomis, Night Hunter, or anything related to it.

#Walter marshall #Walter marshall x you #nomis #night hunter #Henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #cereal dates #scorpiobitch95 #jill writes #fluff #Walter fluff

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liquid-luck-00 · 3 years

Text

WonderBug

Angst Edition

Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) x Marinette Dupain-Cheng (Ladybug)

I am late. SO, so , so late but here it is

1: Soulmates @maribat-angst-fluff-april

My partner is the wonderful @thedragonbug

Ao3

Fuffy Edition

Soulmates exist, and Marinette hates hers. You see everyone is born with their half or part of a complete soul mark. The other parts would appear when you were closer to your soulmate and be permanent when they were close emotionally. For everyone, the appearance or 'drawing' of the mark was light and warm. But not for her, no her drawing was heavy and hot, like a hot knife digging into her arm.

Her parents knew this, and it was concerning, to know that their child was in pain because of their soulmate. Seeing as the marks were not supposed to be painful. Yet as there was no good reason given by medical and mark professionals, and the fact that her soulmate didn't stay near her for long there was nothing that they could do. They did tell her that few, this phenomenon affects one in a million people and she was just lucky enough to be one of them.

Over the years she grew used to the pain, but every time she did it would come back even stronger than the last. She slowly hated her mark and in turn her soulmate. Marinette would cover her mark, ignore it, even wish it away. All her soulmate did was bring her pain. Sure, it upped her pain tolerance, but it hurt her still.

When she turned fourteen, she became Ladybug. She then recognized that her mark was actually the wire of her yo-yo.

The first time Chat Noir claimed they were soulmates she broke down in tears. luckily for her he told her during patrol and not an attack.

"We aren't soulmates, Chat, and I'm glad we aren't." She nearly whispered.

"Why Bug?"

"Because I hate my soulmate, and I don’t want to ever hate you."

"Why would you hate your soulmate?" He seemed genuinely curious. But no one outside her parents knew, not a single person knew what happens to her.

"Because it hurts when they are close, it hurts so badly. The drawing is painful. I never want to meet the person who keeps hunting me." Tears formed in her eyes and Chat hugged her.

"I'm not your soulmate, then." She shook her head. "Good thing I'm your partner, and Plagg help me I am going to be your best friend. Got that Bugaboo?"

A half-hearted chuckle and a small smile escaped her. "Sounds good Kitty." The first person she has ever told, the person who was convinced that they were soulmates, cares for her, to help alleviate some of her pain.

The two became inseparable after that, to the point that most of Paris believed they were in a relationship.

When Nadia asked them about it during an interview, their reactions were memorable. Both all but gagged, turned to face each other, and then laughed almost falling out of the seats.

"I believe we have missed the joke." Nadia commented, worried, and confused.

"Why would I date my sister?"

"Sister?"

"Ladybug and I consider each other siblings in all but blood."

"Everything between us is simply platonic, not even close to romantic.” Ladybug answered after Chat.

“Then why would the whole of Paris believe you to be soulmates?” She may be good at hiding her pain, but the question must have made her react slightly, or Chat knew how sensitive the topic was to her.

“We aren’t soulmates, not the bonded ones that everyone thinks of.” He began. “We are the holders of the black cat and ladybug respectively because our souls resonate with the miraculous. Sure, they are two parts of a whole, but we are practically twins, two halves of coin. She is the sister I choose, she is my partner, and that is our relationship.”

“He’s completely right, now I think it’s time for us to start our patrol, BugOut!” Her smile now in place and their excuse to leave perfectly timed and respectful they made their exit.

They went on their patrol as normal, except just as they arrived at the Eiffel Tower to end the patrol. She was about to land on the platform when a searing pain flashed and radiating affecting her entire body blinding her momentarily. A single moment caused her to collapse on the tower landing, crumpling on the platform.

“LB!” Her breath came out in short bursts, she was clutching her upper arm eyes squeezed shut. This was the worst it has ever happened before, and she wanted it to end. As soon as the cause of pain came it disappeared. Leaving only the memory and a phantom pain.

"Just give me a minute." She slowly got her breathing under control, starting to get accustomed to the new level of pain.

"You weren't kidding that is the worst I’ve ever seen you hurt."

"Yeah not fun."

---

A month after that her mark burned again. This time during class. The teachers knew she would randomly stop due to pain, but they were told they were random migraines. To the point Mari would hold her head and rub her arm to sooth herself, while playing up a headache. Adrien stayed back after the class let out." You know you don't always need to put on a brave face Bugaboo."

Her attention snapped to him. "Well it's easier than constantly answering questions Kitty." She figured quickly.

Sure, they found out one another's identity, but that worked in their favor. After Tikki got sick, Fu started training Mari, and after a month Marinette was given guardianship. Fu still hasn’t lost his memories because Mari let Wayzz stay with him, for the time being, he eventually returns it to Mari in order to move on with his life, his memories fading gradually.

When Adrien got his hands on the grimoire, he of course showed it to Marinette.

“Kitty I know you don’t want to hear this, but I think your dad might be Hawkmoth.” This seemed to perfect for him to have without him being a villain.

“I know, but…”

“Adrien is there any motive anything that might be what he would wish for?”

“My mom. Dad closed himself off when she disappeared. I bet he would wish for her back.”

“Okay, so I’m going to be blunt okay.” He nodded. “So, if your mom is dead there isn’t anything that can be done without the wish, meaning at least one other person is dying.”

“So…”

“But if she is anything but.” She flipped through the grimoire recalling the studies she’s did with Fu. “There are ways we can find or even heal her.”

“This is all riding on an if.” He looked unsure as if this was too much to accept.

“Do you trust me?”

“If I didn’t, I would have turned tail and run a long time ago.”

“You dork.” She lightly shoved him, but he swayed dramatically.

“You two are close.�� The new student in their class came up to them.

“Lila, right?”

“That’s right.” She answered sickly sweet, almost fake. “Are you two soulmates by any chance?”

“No.” Adrien answered. “Why?”

“You’re Adrien Agreste! Why would you be in public school?” She finally seemed to recognize.

“Let’s just say it’s a bit of rebellion.” He chuckled.

“We’re still on for video games, right?” She brought up to end the conversation seeing that Adrien was getting uncomfortable.

“Your winning streak is going down.” He announced.

“You want to join us, Lila?” She offered.

“Why?”

“Because your new and I want to get to know you.” Marinette answered honestly.

“Why?”

“Because we know you lied but still want to know you, the real you.” Adrien added.

“Why?” She asked suspiciously now.

“Question! Is it a felony to kidnap her to play video games, have snacks, get to know her, then let her go?”

“Well the kidnapping part is but if she goes willingly, I call that a hangout session.” Adrien mused.

“True, true.” She hummed. “So, what do you say, because now I am determined to get to know you.”

“Wh…”

“Kidnapping it is.” Adrien decided and grabbed the new girl’s wrist pulling her out of the library. Mari picking up their bags.

Lila herself wasn’t too bad once she started telling the truth, lying is a coping mechanism she created, because she is constantly moving schools, cities, and even countries. She is pretty interesting when she isn’t exaggerating. She was on a Hollywood movie set, but she was there on accident, she was looking for the bathroom in a restaurant and they were filming there that day. She did save a kitten on a tarmac once, but one it wasn’t Jagged Stones, it was a kitten who spooked out of their carrier and rushed down the stairs. Lila dove and caught it before it could leave the passenger unloading area to get the tram to the airport. (Some small airports unload passengers in a certain area of the tarmac and either shuttle them to the building or have a sectioned of walkway that is cleared for passengers, to walk back in only.)

After almost two hours Lila left for home when Adrien’s father called, and he was angry. Together she and Adrien ran back to the Agreste Mansion.

“Adrien!” Gabriel came out disheveled and slightly panicked. “And Miss Dupain-Cheng.” He slightly composed himself.

“Sorry I kept him.” She apologized. “He showed me this really cool book and you know how it is when inspiration hits.”

“Ah yes the inspiring fashion designer friend.” Adrien had walked up and handed his father the grimoire.

“It’s quite an interesting spell book.”

“You can read it?”

“Yes, I can. (Come on out little butterfly.)” Nooroo flew out from his hiding spot. “Hello kwamii of transmission and to you as well Hawkmoth.” She was calm deathly calm.

“How?!” Gabriel growled.

“Calm down. I have a question for you first. You want the jewels used by Ladybug and Chat Noir, why?”

“Would my answer change your plan of action to urn me into authorities and to the heroes?”

“My response may change, but you’ll have to answer to find out.”

“My wife wielder the peacock miraculous, it is broken, and she fell ill, and is in a comatose state.”

“Ah! So here is what is going to happen.” She took the grimoire from Gabriel and flipped over pages. “There is a way to revive her without resorting to using the wish.”

“How do you know this?”

She simply smiled. “You mind gathering these ingredients please Adrien?” She text him a list.

“Sure.”

“How do I know that this isn’t a ruse?”

“One I hate liars, and two because all magic has a cost, and this way is less than if you were to use the wish.”

“What do you mean cost?”

“Just like using your transformation wears on the kwamii, and the power affects your limit. Magic has its cost. The wish because it will always rewrite reality, the price is steep. Bringing back one life means you lose at minimum one other person from your life most likely more.”

“And this?”

“From what I understand. Everyone involved in the spell will have their energies deprecated so they will sleep for a day to a week.”

“Randomly?”

“No, the more people the less each person sleeps.”

“Here they are!” Adrien burst back in the room.

“Do you have the peacock miraculous?” Gabriel nodded. “Okay we’ll need that first, so lead the way to the kitchen.” Both men shuffled confused. “You do know where the kitchen is right?”

“Um well find it eventually.” Adrien chuckled. They were lucky and form it easily and Gabriel left while she and Adrien began to individually brew two separate potions. Adrien the more complex one for his mother’s revival. And she did the simpler one to fix the miraculous. Sue her Adrien is the better one in chemistry, sure he can’t cook to save himself, but he has a gift for chem, and Tikki help her she will teach him to cook. It’s practically edible chemistry, right?!

She took the Brock from Gabriel and fixed it, allowing Duusu out. “Okay so who is going to do this?”

“We will,” Adrien answered for himself and his Father, who nodded.

“Please let be help as well.” Miss Sancoeur offered.

Nooroo, Duusu, Tikki, and Plagg (they came out of hiding now) came to her. “We can help.”

She nodded and saw that Gabriel and Natalie were staring wide eyed between her and Adrien. She thought she heard Natalie say, ‘That explains so much’ but she isn’t sure.

Long story short they were able to wake up Emile, but she took back the peacock and butterfly, leaving Plagg with Adrien. Funnily enough the Agreste’s became a second family to her, once Gabriel finally grasped how to be a father. They told Paris that they had found Hawkmoth, but he would be tried by the order of Miraculous, meaning he would be stripped of the gem and his memories of the miraculous erased. It was a lie but Tikki told her that was what would have happened. There was some outcry, but they explained that they would have no recollection of it, and it wouldn’t make sense to try them.

The next few years of her life were blissfully normal, aside from the fact she had a contract under the Gabriel brand as the designer MDC, who was also endorsed by Style Queen. Chloe isn’t as bad as she puts on when she isn’t masking the hurt of being constantly ignored and bought by her parents.

- - -

It wasn’t until she was twenty-two and accompanying Adrien to a Wayne charity gala, one he didn’t want to go alone and two she was invited anyways, Chloe, Kagami, and Luka were also there on their own merits and invitations so they all stuck relatively together. Since arriving there Marinette was a constant pain, her arm burned and ached, but she forced herself to simply breathe and tried her hardest to push it out of her mind. But her luck wouldn’t hold, three hours into the event she was approached by who she recognized as Bruce Wayne, the host of the gala, and a woman to his left, the pain was almost unbearable the closer the two approached. Her friends noticed, they knew what her pain actually meant, as she opened up to them about it after a while, but she grit her teeth and tried to push through it.

“Mr. Agreste, Miss Bourgeois It is good to see you both again.” Bruce Wayne acknowledged. “It’s nice to meet all of you as well, Bruce Wayne.” He introduced to the rest, shaking hands. “And this is a good friend of mine.”

“Diana Prince.” She also went to shake everyone’s hands and had left Marinette for the last. The moment their hands touched she almost crumpled, she shrunk back and into Adrien and Chloe. “Is she okay?”

“Diana?” Bruce pointed towards her upper arm, the mark most of them overlooked before was now complete and glowing lightly. What Marinette remembered was that there was her yo-yo string and a golden rope that she only saw once before on her own arm. She felt sick, Diana was staring at her now, she recognized that Marinette was her soulmate.

“Melody?” Luka now stepped up.

“I want to leave.” She answered flatly.

“You are…”

She completely turned away, but by now her friends knew what was going on and were glaring at Diana. “I want to leave, now.” She repeated.

“Come on bug, let’s get you away from… this.” He threw a look at Diana, who was looking confused and seemingly alarmed.

The other three were putting as much space as they could between their friend and who is unknowingly causing her pain.

“Please is she alright?” Diana asked stepping forward barely grazing her hand covering her mark. This time it felt as if the skin itself was burning and stung almost like it was being pricked over and over and over again.

“Don’t touch me and stay away from me.” On the outside she looks clam and relaxed, but her voice was soft and raw, her eyes burned in pain. “You and that completed mark can stay far from me.”

“Luka, Kagami mind taking her back to the house?” The two in question led her away and once a safe distance away she broke down in tears, sobbing from the pain she was biting down.

- - -

The two that stayed were simultaneously glaring at her and watching their friends leave the gala.

“Is she alright?” Bruce finally bole the tension.

“As soon as she is far enough away from her.” The girl, Chloe, snapped at her. “Now that we know who is the the person causing her pain, we can keep her from them.” She snapped towards her, but it was a slap to Diana.

“I don’t follow. We are…”

“Soulmates, yeah we figured.” Adrien this time spoke.

“They why would she want to leave, without speaking?”

“One one in a million people are in pain when they are close to their soulmates.” Adrien spoke calmly but stoically. “No one knows why.” He began to fidget with a ring on hi# finger, she couldn’t recall if she saw any jewelry on her soulmate, Marinette, but she has a suspicion. After all she feels similar to her Mother’s aura and presence, that of a Ladybug.

“You are wrong. There is an explanation, but only a few know why that is.” She feels certain that she knows what this is.

“Let me guess you know why.” Chloe remarked, sarcastically and unamused.

“Allow me to explain this another time and place, as this is neither.”

“Fine call this number at noon est tomorrow.” Adrien handed her a phone number and the two turned and left.

“Diana?” Bruce snapped her attention. “What was that about?” He was still calm and collected but she knew he would be the one to ask, figuring out what was the next step, what had the best options of success.

“Magic.”

- - -

The next day she called the number and she was invited to a video call by the recipient. It turned out to be Marinette.

“Hello Diana.” Her voice was not cold but it was emotionless, as if she was forced into this conversation. Granted she did think she would be speaking with Adrien and Chloe.

“I never wanted to harm you, I swear that on the river Styx.” she began but before she could continue Marinette cut in.

“Let’s be clear, I don’t care about your apologies. I just want to know why this is happening and how to either get rid of it or to never have contact with you in any way or proximity.”

“I am apologizing because this is known as the curse of the ladybug and black cat.” She saw the young woman tense at that. “The reason I know of this is from by Mother, Queen Hippolyta Of the Amazon’s.” She allowed that to sink in and the other woman allowed her to drop her defense, nodding to what is said.

“When you say the curse of the ladybug and black cat what do you mean by that?”

“True souls of the miraculous, when in their life they come into contract with their given gems, cause a reaction.” Diana explained. “For the ladybug they receive the pain of their soulmate through their marks. Which is what I assume is going on.”

“Yes you’re right, but this has been going ever since I could remember.”

“Call it what you will fate, destiny, but you were always going to wield the ladybug jewel, that is why the curse manifested itself.”

“What about the black cat?”

“I am unsure, the black cat of my Mother’s time died before meeting their soulmate, but I would assume it would be similar to our situation.”

“Then how do we solve this?”

~~~~~~~~~~

Permanent Taglist: @itsmeevie01 @adrestar @miraculouspenta @vixen-uchiha @animegirlweeb @jumpingjoy82 @thedragonbug@astoriaandroses @icerosecrystal @t1dwarrior-of-earth @moon5606 @zalladane

#maribat #dc x miraculous #dc x mlb #mlb x dc #miraculous x dc #mlb x mcu #mdcu marinette #mdcu adrien #mdcu wonder woman #wonderbug #wonder woman x marinette #maribat angst and fuff #maribatangstandfuff

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rocksandrobots · 4 years

Text

Of Rocks and Robots Ch. 20 - Therapy

Varian sat on the leather couch inside the doctor’s office nervously bouncing his knee up and down. He didn’t want to be here. He wanted to run, but he knew that would upset Aunt Cass who was seated on the chair next to the door.

This was meant to be his first therapy session and he didn’t know what to expect, or to say, or what to do. Both Hiro and Wasabi had told him that all he had to do was talk to the doctor about his problems, but Varian didn’t really feel like talking. He didn’t feel like delving into his past and reliving those painful memories. Moreover, he didn’t want anyone in this world to know of his mistakes, even if they were just a stranger.

Just then the door opened and a tall woman with short bobbed hair and glasses walked in. She wore a white lab coat and held in her hand a clipboard and pen.

“Hello, Miss Templeton. Are we here to see Hiro today?” The woman asked Aunt Cass.

“Oh hi, Dr. Mcguire.” Aunt Cass stood up to shake her hand. “No, I called earlier and told the secretary this, but I’d like you to meet Varian. Varian this is Dr. Mcguire. She’s our family therapist.”The woman smiled and shook his hand as well, as Aunt Cass contunited. “Varian is from Europe and I’m fostering him while he’s here in the states.”

“Oh exciting!” The woman enthused. “Is this your first therapy session, Varian?”

Varian nodded his head numbly, still too unsure of himself to speak.

“Well there’s many different types of therapy. I’m a grief counselor. I use different techniques to help people deal with loss or trauma, such as, listening to people talk about their feelings and problems, helping people develop healthy coping mechanisms for anxiety or depression, helping people pinpoint or understand where their underlying issues are and what might cause them to react the way they do to certain situations, and basically anything else that helps the patient cope with their grief.”

Varian listened to the woman intently but none of what she said made any sense to him. He knew what all those words individually meant on their own but all together it just sounded like a word salad to him. He had no idea what any of that actually entailed in practice.

"Well, now Varian, tell me a little about yourself?" The doctor asked as she sat at her desk.

Varian only stared blankly at her, unsure what she wanted to hear.

Dr. Mcguire expounded "Do you have any interests or hobbies?"

Varian looked back to Aunt Cass questionly and she gave him an encouraging smile and a go on motion with her hands.

"Ummm...I like alchemy."

"Alchemy? Like the history of it, or is that some new video game I haven't heard of yet?" Dr. Mcguire gently laughed at herself. "My kids are always trying to get me into the lastest gaming craze and I can never seem to get the hang of it."

Varian once again could only stare. He'd played a few video games with Hiro and Fred, but he had no idea what was deemed popular or not. Nor did he know how to explain to this woman that he was a practitioner of a long dead science.

When this didn't elect a response from him the doctor tried a new line of questioning.

"Do you have a favorite video game?"

Varian shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't played many of them. We didn't have video games back in Old Corona."

"That's the city he came from." Aunt Cass explained. "Varian is from a Russia territory."

"Oh. Well, what did you play in Old Corona?" Dr. Mcguire asked.

"Not much." Varian racked his brain for a childhood game, but there had been no other kids to play with and his dad was not much for chess.

"My cellmate and I would play 'Noughts and Crosses' to pass the time. It's a little like Gomoku, but you try to get three in a row instead of five, and you just draw an X or O on to a grid you drew in the sand instead of having a board and colored pieces.'

"Oh we call that tic-tac-toe here." Aunt Cass cheerfully said, not immediately picking up on his mention of being in jail.

The doctor however did notice. "Cellmate?" She asked with concern.

Varian clamped his mouth shut at that. He didn't want to go into why he had been in prison, certainly not with Aunt Cass there.

Sensing the Varian's discomfort and seeing Dr. Mcguire's confusion, Aunt Cass spoke up. "I'm guessing the secretary didn't give you the forms we filled out?"

"No, I'm afraid not. I saw your name on the appointment and just assumed it was time again for Hiro's session. I'm sorry, that was unprofessional of me to assume and not come prepared. Would you like to reschedule?"

Aunt Cass looked to Varian. "It's up to you, sweetie."

Varian really didn't want to go through all this again. "No. I'm good."

"Well do you feel like talking about what's wrong then?" Asked Mcguire.

Varian tightened his jaw, unsure how to say no to the woman. But Dr. Mcguire knew her business and understood what Varian meant even without words.

"It's ok." She soothed. "You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to. We're not here to make you feel uncomfortable. Therapy is supposed to help, not hurt."

This relaxed Varian a little, but only a little. He didn't know what either adult wanted from him then.

"Varian, would it help if I left?" Aunt Cass offered. "Or would you prefer that I stay? Either one is fine. It's your choice."

Varian looked back and forth between both women trying to decide. He honestly didn't know which would be more stressful; dealing with the doctor alone or risking slipping up again and having Aunt Cass find out about his past crimes.

"I...maybe?" He eventually answered.

"Alright then. I'll be just right outside the door if you need me." She stood up, walked over to Varian, gave him a peck on the forehead and an encouraging smile before closing the door and leaving.

Varian had to admit, he could breath more easily now that she'd left the room.

"Well," Dr. Mcguire spoke back up, "if you rather not talk about your issues right now, would you like to write about them instead?"

Varian gave her a confused look and in response she dug into a drawer in her desk and pulled out a notebook.

"Sometimes people find it easier to write about things than to talk about them. I often give my patiences journals, so that they can get out their feelings about stuff, make goals and plans, or to help keep track of their triggers and their responses."

She handed the notebook to Varian. It was thin and curiously printed on the front were images of lizards with hats and sunglasses riding upon skateboards. Varian might have thought it absurd looking but he was distracted by something that the doctor had said.

"Triggers?" He asked.

"A 'trigger' is anything that might make someone remember their trauma. It can be anything from a familiar sound or object, to an action or situation that is similar to an event that the person went through. When someone who's been through trauma comes across one of their triggers they might experience a panic attack, flashbacks, get angry or upset, or even completely shut down so to speak."

Varian studied the woman thoughtfully. Wasabi had described what a panic attack felt like and it sounded eerily similar to what he had felt when he ran away that day. The way he felt after having a nightmare. The way he'd felt when he had come home to find his dad unmoving in the amber.

“Do..do nightmares count?” He asked hesitantly.

“Well, yes, in a way. Nightmares are often associated with PTSD. They are a way for your mind to process what has happened to you. But they can also be caused by other things, like stress, anxiety, or just a lack of sleep. You’d have to dream about something multiple times and analyze those dreams in order to figure out their cause.”

She paused and studied Varian intently before continuing. "Some people write dream diaries to track the patterns of what they dream and when. You write what you've dreamed, good or bad, when you wake up. You also may write things like what time you went to bed, how long did you sleep, or what you may have eaten that day as those can affect how well you sleep."

"You could use your journal for that." She gently suggested.

"Then...then I show it to you?" He asked in kind.

"If you want to. Though, once again, you don't have to do anything that you don't want to."

"But, if I did, would it help?" Varian pressed, "Would it get rid of them?"

"It might help." The woman said measuredly. "Though it might not. Or you may need to do that along with a combination of things. The only way to find out is to try it."

Dr. Mcguire gave him a soft smile and Varian turned her words over in his mind. He would love for the nightmares to stop. They had only become more frequent since he moved in with the Hamada's. As if deep down he feared this new change in his life would become permanent and his subconscious was warning him to return home before it was too late. But, even still, while the doctor was right about not knowing till you tried, he worried over his past and what she or others might think of him once known. Then again, no reason to take a dream literally, right?

"I've..I...I've been having nightmares lately." He finally admitted. Dr. Mcguire only nodded along. She most likely had already guessed as much, but she didn't interrupt.

"They're always different. Like they're about different things. Sometimes they're about my home or my dad, sometimes about my friends, both old and new, and sometimes about, ummm, being in jail." He muttered this last part but then quickly contunited on, "They all end the same way though. With me being alone."

He met the doctor's eyes questioningly, wondering how she might respond. She looked to be contemplating over what he'd just confessed.

"Hmmm…Well dreams are rarely the same each time. It's usually just the repeated elements that we look for when analyzing. That's how the journal would help. But it looks like you figured out one of those elements on your own. Does being alone scare you?"

Varian looked at her wide eyed. He didn't know how to feel about having one of his greatest fears pointed out to him. It was true of course, but he didn't like to admit it.

"A, little." He admitted sheepishly.

"A lot of people fear being alone. We're social creatures. Humans need other humans and so we seek out relationships. It's nothing to be embarrassed about." Mcguire tried to ease his fear.

"Were you on your own in jail? Did you feel alone there?" She pressed.

"No, well sometimes, but like I said I at least had a cellmate. That's better than when I was completely on my own before then."

Dr. Mcguire face grew more concerned but she didn't pursue anything else about his time alone. Instead she asked, "Were you friends with your cellmate?"

"No." Varian scoffed, complaining about Andrew was easier than talking about his time spent on the run. "Dude was a creep."

"Oh, did you fight with him often?"

"Not usually. In fact we got along fine, but that's only because he'd pretend to be nice to get what he wanted. I always knew that's what he was doing, but I, guess I just went along with it because….because it was better than not talking to anybody at all."

Dr. Mcguire furrowed her brow, "What did he want from you then?"

Varian wiggled in his seat at that. He didn't want to go into the prison break and what followed thereafter. "Just….stuff."

This did not ease the doctor's fear. "How old were you when you went to jail?"

"I had just turned fifteen." He didn't know where this was going.

"And your cellmate was what, also fifteen, sixteen?" She guessed.

"Oh no. Corona doesn't have, what did the policeman call it, 'juvenile detention center.' Anyways, uh, I'm not sure what age Andrew was. He never said, but I would guess, like, late twenties?" Varian shrugged but he only became even more confused when he noted the look of horror on Dr Mcguire's face.

"And where were the guards when he was making you do… stuff?" She tried to hide it but Varian could still hear the way her voice shook.

"Ummm...well the guards make their rounds of the cells every ten minutes and stand guard at the door between then. Or they're supposed to, anyways. Sometimes they're late or they're switching shifts, or even sometimes asleep." He broke from his matter of fact statement with a little laugh. "I once saw Pete the guard fall asleep while standing up and Stan, the other guard, had to prop him up with his spear to keep the Captain from noticing." He whispered conspiratorially as if imparting some juicy bit of gossip.

But the doctor wasn't amused.

"It would appear that your home country has a very different legal system than ours." She stated as if trying to find a way to navigate Varian's revelations.

"I'll say." He snorted. Complaining about the conditions of the dungeon itself didn't bother him as much as admitting how he'd got there. He supposed it was because everyone suffered the same indignity as he did while there. So he didn't feel singled out.

"I saw what those cells down at the police station here looked like last week. Let me tell you. They were pristine." He began to number the differences on his fingers." Clean, not drafty, there were toilets, electric lights. I was on the bottom floor of the dungeon and all we had was a grate on the ceiling that let the tiniest bit of light and air in from the cell above us. Of course that wasn't much cause that cell only had a small window to begin with."

The doctor interrupted his ramble. "But what about when you were aloud outside?"

"Outside?" He echoed in confusion. "We never went outside. Who'd let criminals out of their cells willingly?"

Dr. Mcguire darted her eyes back and forth as if equally flabbergasted. "But, but what about for exercise!? Showers!? Mealtimes!?"

Varian looked at her unsure how to answer, now only realising just how vastly different the two realities really were.

"We ate in the cells." He said flatly in lieu of anything else. "Is the food better here too?"

"I don't know? What did they serve you?"

"Usually gruel, or bread and water. Sometimes we'd get scraps from the castle's kitchen. Like leftover bone broth before it went bad. I guess not to starve us completely."

"Castle?" She echoed hollowly.

"The jail is underneath the government's palace." He explained.

"And is that the only prison? Wouldn't that get over full?"

"Yeah, it does. That's why they only keep people there until they ship them off on the prison barge or…. til they hang them." He quietly admitted.

This seemed to be the last straw for the doctor.

She took a deep, shuddering breath and tried to compose herself.

"Well, that..uh..we seem to be reaching near the end of our session. How about we bring Miss. Templeton back in?" She flashed him a strained grin, but Varian knew she was rattled and he feared he'd said too much or had done the wrong thing.

"You mean Aunt Cass?" He asked.

"Yes. So you call her 'aunt' too?" He nodded. " Well let's get your aunt in here and we'll talk about how best to continue your therapy."

Dr. Mcguire walked out and Varian could hear her and Aunt Cass having a hushed and hurried conversion. He couldn't make out what they were saying, but he knew it was about him. Soon after, they both reentered the room and Aunt Cass took a seat next to him on the couch.

Dr. Mcguire sat at her desk again and proceeded to make an announcement.

"So Varian and I have talked a little and he's decided that he's going to keep a dream diary, which he can share with me during our next few sessions if he would like. However, I feel that Varian might benefit from seeing a specialist."

Varian heart dropped. He was being turned away? He'd somehow managed to screw up his first therapy session so bad the doctor was pawning him off to someone else.

"But, aren't you a specialist?" Aunt Cass asked, equally confused.

"Yes, but I deal with post trauma, sudden events, like a car accident or the recent death of a family member. After talking to Varian, it appears he's been through prolonged trauma. It'll take a few more sessions to confirm this but, he may have Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's related to regular PTSD, there is some overlap in symptoms, but ultimately it requires different treatment."

Varian's stomach began to churn and he felt his heartbeat quicken. All he heard, behind the doctor's unfamiliar terminology, was that he was somehow, wrong or broken, more so than even the troubled patients she normally worked with. He wanted to cry, but instead he blinked back tears as Dr. Mcguire contunited.

"I have the name of a psychiatrist that I can recommend. I've worked with him before alongside other patients."

She handed a business card to Aunt Cass who leaned forward to take from her. As she read it the doctor went on.

"Dr. Brown deals with former soldiers, war refugees, abuse victims, and others who've had to endure extremely harsh conditions. He's better experienced in such cases and as a psychiatrist he can also prescribe any medicine that Varian might need."

"Medicine!?" Varian exploded and both women looked at him with concern. "But, but I'm not sick." He whined in protest.

Dr. Mcguire stood up and walked over to him. She knelt down to his level and looked him in the eye.

"I don't know if you are or aren't, diagnoses of mental illnesses take time, but you might still need prescribed medication even if you don't have an illness. You mentioned not sleeping well, something as simple as a herbal tea with added melatonin could help with that. However as a psychologist, and not a psychiatrist, I can legally write you a prescription for that, nor should I."

Varian darted his eyes about the room in confusion. Logically what the woman said made sense, he supposed, but that didn't stop his anxiety from raising. He felt cornered. He wanted to run again, but the gentle hand of Aunt Cass upon his shoulder rooted him to the couch.

"Look, you're still welcome to come see me." Dr. Mcguire reassured him. "I'll gladly help you in any way that I can. I just think Dr. Brown could do even more to help you."

"We just want what's best for you." Aunt Cass interjected. "Thank you, Dr. Mcguire. I'll give this Dr. Brown a call today when we get home."

And that was the end of it. They said their goodbyes and left.

On the whole way home, Varian sulked in the passenger seat as he stared dispondingly out the window. He could feel Aunt Cass nervously stealing glances of him, probably afraid he may jump out of the car again and try to run away.

She attempted to say something a few times, but thought better of it and kept quiet. The uncomfortable silence weighing upon them both until they arrived back at the Luck Cat.

Varian tore out of the car, pounded up the stairs, and was just about to run towards his new room, when he heard Aunt Cass say. "We need to talk."

Varian found himself sitting on a couch for the second time that day. This one in Hamada living room. He eyed Aunt Cass pensively and waited for yet another lecture.

"Sooo, I know that didn't go as well as we hoped today, but hey, we made some progress!" She gave him a plastered grin as she tried to find the silver lining. Varian only gave her a look as if she was crazy and rolled his eyes.

She heaved a heavy sigh.

"Varian, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Lots of people see special psychiatrists. That's what they're for. They wouldn't exist if people didn't need them."

Varian still refused to meet her gaze.

"Also, not everyone finds the right therapist on their first try. It took me a whole year and three different doctors before I found Dr. Mcguire."

Varian did look at her upon that revelation, this time with surprise on his face.

Aunt Cass gave him a small smile.

"Did you think you were the only one who needed therapy?" She gently teased, before admitting, "I was only 24 when I took in Tadashi and Hiro. I didn't know how to be a parent. I didn't know how to handle two grieving little boys nor the emotional roller coaster I was on as well. I had to get help. I had to try out different doctors, different types of therapy, even took medication for a little while, and it took time but in the end it did make things better for all of us. I just want you to get better as well."

Varian processed this confession as he wrestled with his growing sense of shame and despair.

"But...but…you never did anything to deserve that. It was just a bad thing that happened to you.. I… I on the other hand…I wasn't in that jail for no reason." He confessed before bursting into tears.

"I don't care." Aunt Cass quietly said.

Varian looked back in surprise again. She stood before him with worry etched onto her face.

"I don't care what you did." She reiterated. "It doesn't matter."

She bent down and cupped Varian's face into her hand, just as she did when he returned after running away.

"Varian, no one deserves to be treated the way you were. Especially a child. That..that was just cruel." Her voice broke. "Cruel, and inhumane, and oh god, what ever did they do to you to make you think you deserved it?" It was her turn to cry as she scooped Varian into a hug.

Varian blinked rapidly, both because of the tears and because he hadn't been expecting this reaction. He knew he was at fault. Everyone in the kingdom knew it. They all blamed him for what happened and threw nothing but scorn his way. The only reason that Aunt Cass and everyone else didn't hate him too was because they didn't know, surely. But the sincerity in her voice, the tender loving embrace, the way she put up with him and his stupid mistakes around the house, all made him desperate to believe her. So he hugged her tightly back.

"But.. But.. I'm not 'no one'" The tears flowed freely now. "I'm...I'm…I'm not like anyone. The doctor said so herself, today."

"No!" She pulled away from the embrace to look him dead in the eye. "No. She said you needed help that she couldn't give. Dr. Brown, though, can. He deals with people who've been through what you've been through. You're not alone. You're not broken. You're not weird. And you are most certainly not deserving of being thrown in a dungeon."

She wiped her fingers through his bangs, a sign of affection he'd come to recognize from her, and blinking back tears said, "Oh how I wish I could have been there for you sooner. But I'm here now. And so is Hiro, all your friends, Chief Cruz, Professor Granville, and Dr. Mcguire. Ok? We are all here for you now, and we love you, and nothing is going to change that. And now Dr. Brown will be there for you too. So please, let us help you."

Varian searched her eyes. These were words he had longed to hear for who knew how long, but when faced with them for real he had trouble giving into them; to believing them. The nagging voice in his head was screaming at him, warning him that it wasn't true, that they would all abandon his as soon as he screwed up or they found out the truth of his past, the same as how everyone else had given up on him, told him how he didn't deserve such kindness, ect.,but he didn't care. He wanted it to be true.

He nodded yes and flung his arms around Aunt Cass again. They remained that way, just holding each other for several minutes. While Aunt Cass stroked his hair and cooed reassuring words. How she loved him, how she wasn't going anywhere, how he was her child now and nothing would change that. He wasn't sure if he was ready to accept her as a parent yet, to him his dad was the only parent he needed, but he deeply appreciated all that she had done, all that she promised to do, and it felt good to finally be accepted somewhere, to be wanted .

When they finally stopped hugging Aunt Cass said she was going to call Dr. Brown and set up an appointment. She then stroked the top of his head again and asked if he wanted to help her bake something special for dinner. He nodded yes and they both put the unfortunate incident at the therapist behind them.

#Varian #Tangled #BH6 #aunt cass #cass hamada #big hero six #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #BH6 the series

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loladelores · 3 years

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Pintando mi corazon with @MindYourPanties

Boston:

-Adjusting my lens, I finally bring the camera up to snap a few pictures of @LaLolaDelores before we begin.- You about ready, Skirt? -I had been promising this night out for months and with a little niece, or nephew, on the way, the news that I would have to leave soon didn't come without its challenges. The problem was that Chile was not my home and it had been yours. I knew when I had arrived all those months ago it was suppose to be temporary. A mission to bring an old family friend home quickly turned when the trip led me to you. I sought out to see if the tales were true and what I hadn't planned on was the instant connection that came to pass between us. My desire to seek out the truth left me with a flame that burned brighter than a flicker the more I was around you too. So when Memphis called to let me know they were expecting, and asked when they could be expecting me, the pang I felt in my gut wasn't indigestion. I was going to have to leave and I wasn't sure if you would come with me or not.- Do you remember all the places you wanted to hit first? -I had the camera sure but that wasn't the only thing I was bringing. The bag was sitting right by the door and as I lowered the camera with a crooked grin, I walked over to you and pressed a kiss to your neck, waiting to see if you were still game or not.- We don't have to do this, Skirt.

Lola:

::I wasn’t used to the kind of attention you gave me. Usually any attention I got was negative. Even before. It was that reason that I was sure those pictures you just snapped of me were going to be full of shy smiles and a side of me that nobody in town had seen since I was a young girl.

There was something off about you since the last call with your brother. And I had a feeling I knew what it was. The idea of you leaving me speared right through my gut and made my limbs feel weak. But I tried my best to push those ugly thoughts away every time they cropped back up. And that kiss you just placed to my neck helped me to do that even better as I suddenly was second guessing our plans to paint the town. Not because I was afraid. I cared not what anyone thought or did. I could handle myself. But now, my mind was my mind was drifting to more private time with you.

I was just about to drag you toward the bedroom when you said the magic words. “We don’t have to do this, skirt.” I’m sure you didn’t mean them as a challenge. But my pride took them as just that. With a smirk, I locked my gaze with yours as I spoke:: I have been ready for this for longer than you know.

Boston:

Yeah? -That grin grew wider when you started to pull me to the room. Knowing exactly where your mind was headed, our bodies didn't put up much of a fight to catch up.- Only if you're sure, Skirt. -We both knew you were by that glint in your eye, the sheer determination to get at least one up was making the wheels turn upstairs and I chuckled low, raising my hand so I could caress your cheek.- I'll carry the bag if you lead the way. I'll be on lookout duty too. -I was sweetening the deal the closer we got to the front door, and as I paused to pick up the bag, I could sense something was amiss but I didn't press, not until we were outside under the moonlight with your apartment locked up. The pavement wet under our feet from the light rain we had gotten midday.- Do you trust me, Lola? That I would never hurt you?

Lola:

::I knew exactly where we were going first. And I was already envisioning what I was going to paint there. I had spent many days just aimlessly wandering the streets which meant I knew all the best spots. As the lock clicked into place, I turned toward the street, inhaling the sweet smell that always came after the rains. Just about to step off the bottom step, your words hit me, causing my brow to furrow as I looked over at you:: Si. ::turning completely toward you now, I nodded seriously:: You are the only one who cared if I did or didn’t. ::laughs:: I figure you’d be loco to spend so much energy trying to make sure I did only to betray that trust. ::jerks a thumb in the direction of the cemetery with a playful smirk:: Muy loco if you believe what everyone else says happens when you do…

Boston:

Not for second. I might be crazy for you, but I'm not loco loco. -I laughed, pulling the duffle bag up higher on my shoulder before I reached out for you with my other hand. Letting you pull me along as the excitement brewed and bubbled up around you, the night air seemed to change and with it, my need to see you in action began growing. Greed licked at my skin the same way a flame flickered its light.

And suddenly, I raised that camera to snap one more picture of you before we reached our first destination of the night, wanting nothing more than to capture this freeing moment with you. That look on your face saying it all and I only lower my camera to offer you a slight smirk again- What color do you normally start with first? Black? -I start out with the small questions, learning everything I could about your craft.

Lola:

::Your answer was wise. With a smile, I reached out and tapped the tip of your nose:: I am loca though. So you’re a little crazy to take your chances around me. ::shooting you a wink, and taking your hand, I pulled you toward the first destination. Each step causing my excitement to grow as the adrenaline buzzed through my system:: Depende… ::glances over at you:: This first one will start with black. ::comes to a stop next to the blank wall that was the side of Joaquin’s favorite hang out, studying my canvas:: I start with the color that is the most prominent for my vision. ::doesn’t even bother to remove the bag from your shoulder as I unzip it and begin digging for what I want first::

Boston:

I happen to think the odds are forever in my favor. -It was a trip seeing you like this. In your element and all ready to go without another word to say when you unzipped the bag, pulling out a couple of cans first thing. Chuckling, I watched you step forward and turn on your heel, your smile growing wider with each step you took up to your blank canvas as it were.- And of the two which is the most prominent color for your vision now? The first one you see tonight?

Lola:

::my mind was already running wild. I had to keep reminding myself that this wasn’t my canvases at home. I didn’t have all the time in the world to put everything I wanted on to that wall. But I knew I wanted a lot and that’s when I looked down at the two cans I had grabbed. Squatting down, I set down the red. The compromise would be to make this one only one color so I could do more:: Black. This needs black. ::nods once before standing up and stepping closer to the wall. With a shake of the can, I roughly began drawing the outline of a woman::

Boston:

-What might have been eerie silence to some was music to our ears as I watched in awe of you. The more you worked your magic, the more fascinated I became and as the woman you were drawing started to come to life, taking shape before my very eyes, I could start to see the damage that was done. You left no stone unturned when it came to your artwork. And as I saw first hand how lost you got into it, I knew right then and there, that I couldn't leave you. Not here or like this.- Lola.. -The words came tumbling out but only after you had stepped back, nearly completely finished.- Come to America with me. Come to Florida.

Lola:

::As soon as I started, there was no stopping me. It was good that you had offered to be my lookout. Because I wasn’t sure I would know someone was coming until it was too late. Even still, I wasn’t sure I would hear you telling me someone was coming either. Chances are, you would probably have to grab me and force me away. Smirking to myself at my lack of self control as I drew the butcher knife to her side. I couldn’t say I missed it. Further proof what I told you before was true. Loca. Snapped. Broken. But this was my calm. Peace. Therapy.

It was only fitting that I showed my conflict in my art. Horns protruded from her hair as the demonio in the corner accused her. But tears would drip from her eyes as a halo hovered above her head. It was up to the onlooker to decide. Was she evil and pretending to be good? Or was she good and accused of evil. For my final touch, I showed her chest torn open, heart exposed, and on fire. Tilting my head, I contemplated what else it needed before calling it done. Stepping back a little, I took the entire scene in.

Until your voice finally broke through my concentration. “Lola.” I glanced over my shoulder, expecting to see someone coming, and when I didn’t I turned to you. “Come to America with me. Come to Florida.” I knew the words. But they didn’t make sense. So I stood, bewildered and staring at you. Surely you didn’t mean permanently, right? Nobody wanted the task of La Lola permanently:: Visitar?

Boston:

No. -The word was final. Even as I looked upon the work of art you had just done, my decision to bring you with me didn't waver when I saw the details clearly painted on the wall. While some things were left for interpretation, your mind pulled things out with your emotions scattering like a bag of marbles being dumped across a sidewalk, and it didn't leave those scars you painted faintly either. If anything, they stuck out more in your work.- Por vida..

-You left your vulnerability bloody and ripped open like her chest, the look of confusion was first when I asked but when I said those last two words, the questioning brow you had raised, made me shake my head. I would not let you doubt this. Or us.-

For life.

-I said the words with such conviction, and in English too as I stepped in closer to you, pulling my line of sight from the picture you had painted to your gaze and I took the paint can out of your hand.- He only has power over you if let him have it.

-It wasn't that I didn't believe, it was that I refused to share you any longer with him. Tonight was not only about us, but it was about letting him go too.- You have a decision to make, Skirt. I've made mine. -My voice was softer then, that caress to your cheek wasn't lacking in my affections for you and I gave you a soft kiss to your lips before I brought the camera up to snap a picture, wanting to capture the moment either way you decided to go.-

Lola:

::Your resolve was firm. But the tenderness in your tone let me know that you would never force me. No matter how much you wanted me to answer a certain way. An unfamiliar feeling was bubbling up inside of me. Something I hadn’t dared to feel since before Joaquin. And it almost made me laugh when you repeated the words in English. It was then that I realized I was still staring at you wordlessly even when you spoke in my native tongue. The mention of “him” had my eyes flicking in the direction I knew would take me to the cemetery, but that was quickly forgotten when your lips brushed over mine. Blinking against the flash of your camera, I looked over at the picture I had just painted again, my voice soft:: I would not be missed.

Boston:

Wrong. You will be missed by me. Always. -Grasping your chin when you went to look again in his direction, my grip turned your face back to mine, my lips lingering against yours once more. If I had to keep you captive with my mouth until you understood what you meant to me I would.- Do I need to take you against the wall of your very own art? Make you scream my name loud enough for him to hear? -I was serious and when you gasped like he would appear right then and there, I didn't stop in my assessment of our situation. As I released your chin, my arm circled around you and I started to lead you there, right up to the wall when you stopped me suddenly, shaking your head.- I want you for life and I want to build that life somewhere that doesn't hurt you any longer.

-Taking one last look at the painting, I lead you away to our next destination, wanting more distance between him and us until you decided to face that head on.- Will you paint me another one then? -If it was going to be our last night together, I wanted you to remember it well. I didn't want anything left off the table.-

Lola:

::You knew me so well already. The second that you suggested it, fear crept up at the idea of him appearing in some form. I worried not for myself. But for you. The girl who had nothing to lose, suddenly had something she wanted to protect. And that caused my blood to run cold for a second. I was glad now you wouldn’t be here when the town figured out I had a weakness. I couldn’t bear you being used as a weapon.

Then you backed me toward the wall, and it was a battle between my body and my mind. My body wanted nothing more than to allow you to do just that. But my mind was terrified of the idea of one of his more deadly forms catching you from behind. Luckily, once again, you respected my decision and stopped as I blew out a slow breath while I nodded:: Si. I will paint you a million pictures. ::glancing one last time behind you to be sure that there were no dark figures of any form creeping, I reached for your hand. I knew what I would make next. And where I wanted it. My original plans to paint something on the cemetery scrapped as I contemplated accepting your offer. Keeping my eyes cast down as we walked, and giving your hand a squeeze:: What if the evil eye takes you from me too?

Boston:

You've promised me a million pictures first, no?

-A smug grin tugged at my lips then and I gave your hand a squeeze in return, knowing no matter what I said you were still going to worry about it too.-

Nobody is going to take me from you, Skirt. Not like that. There was no point in hiding it and so I didn't when you pulled me down along the sidewalk. Offering the reassurance should have done the trick but I took it a step further when you paused at a back alley, turning and venturing with you when you pipe up, letting me know we were taking a shortcut.- Everyone else has gotten you to this juncture, Lola. They have held you to these expectations and I never will.

-It was my turn, and I paused our walk with a soft pull of your hand, causing you to lift your gaze that you had purposely kept from me.- This is all you know.. Let me show you something different.

-With that said, I let you continue to pull me along, letting the words sink in for a moment before we reached the next stop in our adventures for the night.-

Lola:

::I think I already knew my answer in my heart. I knew it the second you suggested it. But I was conditioned not to believe good things could truly happen to me. So I was always looking for the strings that were attached. Once again, I fell silent as I rolled the idea around in my mind. The thought of leaving all this behind, going somewhere that nobody knew me, starting fresh, being with you forever… I looked over at you with a genuine smile at that last one. It all sounded so good. And funnily enough, I didn’t care if Joaquin approved. That in itself was freeing:: I will kill the evil eye too. ::nods seriously even though it sounded crazy, glancing your way and letting out a laugh. I wasn’t sure if your expression was because of my random statement. Or because you were starting to recognize that I was leading us back to my apartment building:: There’s a good wall here.

Boston:

I believe you. On both accounts.

-Giving you a wink, I meant it and I knew you did too. Seeing that we were heading back towards the apartment building, I trusted that you knew your way around. That where you were leading us would bear fruit when we arrived at the wall you spoke of. There had been a slight hesitation in your plans for the night and I knew at some point you were going to want to visit the cemetery, or at least I thought you had but when we went in the opposite direction, the detour you now provided, I didn't push for you to talk any further about it. Other than to say one more thing as I sat the bag of paint cans down before you.- Do you give each piece a name? What will this one be called?

Lola:

::lifts a curious brow before bending down to dig through the bag for the first color, glancing up at your question:: I don’t always no… ::refocuses on the bag, digging out two different shades of blue and looking between them before dropping the darker of the two right back into the bag:: This one will be called Reflexion. ::nods once before turning to begin painting a large blue rectangle::

Boston:

-It appeared the ones you named, meant the most. At least that was what I thought as you began working the cans. Paint danced along the canvas made of stone, concrete walls that were once grey were now blue as the skies. And one by one, I watched in complete awe at how well you brought this second painting to life. Yellow, red and green, those colors began to take shape and as I watched the paint mimic your fluid-like movements, the dance your body provided me was a show all its own.

You were completely lost in your element. That was until you dropped the paint cans to reach for another black and one more of the white. My gaze still forever glued to your work and you, the irony of the paint colors, those final touches, weren't lost on me either.- Reflexion. Tell me what happened here, Skirt. That curiosity to know reared its ugly head and I wanted nothing more than to drag you away, seeing those tears drying on the wall now when you complete your piece.-

Lola

::steps back and examines the finished piece. Giving a nod of approval. The proud smile on my face in direct contradiction to the feel of the painting I just completed:: She is alone in a colorful world. Her only friend the gato she brings comfort even as tears stain her cheeks. ::flicks my eyes up to the halo before bringing it back to her face:: Perhaps a little dog and a loco man will join her someday as well.

Boston:

Tears of joy then? -Taking it all in, I step up right beside you, bringing my camera up to snap a few pics.- The gato made her happy, no? -Which really meant yes. Wanting to get a wider view, I continued to speak as I walked backwards but not before dropping the bag of paint I had carried by your feet. Once across the street, thunder rolled and lightening, well it crashed. Still, I had to get you in the picture and as I lowered the camera, the light perfect from the silhouette of the moon against those streetlights, I spoke with a hint of playfulness in my tone.- Scoot back, Skirt and smile for me like you were a few moments ago? -I couldn't be sure what made you that happy, if it were necessarily me but the way you talked about the painting, there was a sense of pride you took in it, rightfully so. Not to mention the justice you did for her in your work.- Tell me what made you smile like that? What were you thinking about, hm?

Lola:

::That camera was aimed at me which had me laughing. Your request for me to smile like that again wasn’t hard to fulfill. The pride was coursing through my body at how much you actually cared about my art. I even went as far as posing with my arms spread out above my head to showcase the artwork. For all I knew, they’d have it painted over again in a few days. So I was happy that you were documenting it:: I was thinking about how happy it makes me to paint. And the fact that you aren’t just pretending to care. ::smiles wide again:: That makes me really happy. ::When you began to lower the camera, I ran across the street to you, throwing my arms around your neck and kissing you soundly on the lips::

Boston:

-There you were one minute telling me how you weren't going to fight me on leaving and the next you were taking the street two skips at a time for me to greet you with open arms, catching you not just with my embrace but with my lips too.- You're really going to let me take you away, Skirt? -I wanted to hear you say it and not have some feeling of hesitated truth. I didn't want a nod without the words. I wanted you to own your decision and as I sensed the change in the air, the wind shifting all around us, I didn't ignore the faint signs that were there. In that moment, I simply lowered you to your feet, taking the camera from around my neck to hang the strap around yours.- One more, Skirt. I want us to remember tonight. -Letting you hold the camera up this time, I pressed a kiss to cheek as you snapped the picture, opting for another when my lips brushed the corner of your own.-

Lola:

::The weight of your camera around my neck made my heart swell. Having someone trust me with their cherished possession made me feel special in a new way. There was no way I was going to fight you on that picture:: Don’t blame me if it’s out of focus. ::I snapped the picture mid laugh, just as you kissed my cheek. A true candid of this moment that I didn’t want to end. And when you reached the corner of my mouth, I turned my head, speaking before I met your lips:: Si. I will go. ::Closing the distance between our lips as my my finger clicked the shutter button again. It would be a surprise whether I got us in the frame or just the empty Chilean street beyond us::

Boston:

-Even as the camera took the shots, I was wrapping my arm around your waist tighter, lifting you up off the ground again to carry you back across the street to the painting. I didn't stop seeking you out with my mouth either as my lips stayed right there against yours in a war of the roses so to speak. Tasting your sweetness in that kiss left us both with a longing for more but when your back came to a stop pressed against the very wall you had just painted, the symbolism of it wasn't lost on me. You were pinned there, my right knee acting as the perfect seat for your legs to slide down when you did just that. And I broke the kiss roughly to speak against your ear.- Take the camera and go. Do not fight me on this. -"¡Oye! ¡Qué estas haciendo allá arriba! Quedate ahí mismo!" I saw your eyes go wide and I was quick to move, pushing you away and down the side of the alley. Mouthing the words for you to go before I turned around and picked up the empty can we had left behind.

My dream of coming face to face with what I had hoped was just a concerned citizen was short lived when a member of the Carabineros was directly in my path. Great, just great..- Qué pasa? Habla usted inglés?

Lola:

::Perhaps you would have me against a work of my art after all. My lips moved with yours in the sweetest of tangos, and I was just about to let out a soft whimper to signal you I wanted more until I felt the shift in your demeanor. Your lips moving to my ear. But instead of whispering sweet nothings, your words had me tensing up. My racing mind not comprehending why you were telling me to go until I heard one of them yell out, "¡Oye! ¡Qué estas haciendo allá arriba! Quedate ahí mismo!" My eyes flew open as I quickly scanned the area for a weapon only to be pushed into the alley. My rage spiking now as I prepared to march right back out of that alley. Yet somehow the pleading in your eyes as you mouthed for me to go caused me to hesitate. Before I could argue you had ducked out of view. The last thing I heard was, “ Qué pasa? Habla usted inglés?” Under different circumstances, I might have laughed at the way you were playing tonto gringo. Instead, I did something I hadn’t in many years, and obeyed. Turning on my heel, I quickly ran down the alley toward the front of the apartment building, and threw open the door before taking the steps two at a time, and bursting into my apartment where I collapsed on the floor, panting and holding my head as I attempted to sort through the emotions spiraling through me. Rage. Fear. Wonder. Confusion. Shock. And what couldn’t be mistaken…love. Dropping my hands into my lap, I glanced around the apartment, formulating my plan::

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