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strangerwheelerthings · 9 months

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I just read youe post about the way Robin and Nancy look at each other in s4 and come to lean on each other. You ever think about how as they start finding strength in each other's company that that they might feel trepidation about their own feelings? Robin bc obv she doesn't want a repeat of the Tammy->Steve situation (when from her pov that's probably what's happening) and for Nancy because she's still carrying around guilt for Barb (which is so recently refreshed when she presumably also thinks she got Fred killed) and I think you can see incredible concern in her eyes when she looks at Robin in Henry's lair in ep9.

Trepidation is an early ronance’s middle name. It’s actually one of the aspects I love to have explored in fics (because I’m a sucker for angst). Robin has plenty of reasons to be hesitant and worried about a crush on Nancy. They are living in a small town in the 80’s being the first and foremost. However, your point about the Tammy and Nancy parallels is completely accurate and valid. Nancy is literally well known around Hawkins High for her romance drama with two boys; not really a lot of reason for Robin to hope that she’s queer in the first place. My ronance!headcanon is that this is the reason Robin continues to keep all her hopes on Vickie in the end, because there appears (at first glance) to be more hope for reciprocation and she’s already a little less invested in Vickie and therefore there’s less risk.

Nancy (whether bi or lesbian) is the epitome of compulsory heterosexuality. This girl could have the biggest crush in the world (she does), but it would take her a while to admit it to herself fully. You’re right, Nancy’s trepidation would be entirely focused on her trauma surrounding friendship and death, during the season. Nancy hasn’t really had an actual friend outside of Jonathan since Barb. Even before Barb, Nancy wasn’t the kind of person who is good at making friends, then you add a ton of trauma on top of that? Yeah, it would be a swirling pit of anxiety within her. Vecna activated every trigger in season four through murdering Fred while Nancy had brought him out somewhere, showing her Barb’s body and guilt tripping her, and then actively threatening all her living loved ones with gruesome deaths. All this is happening right at the same time as her developing friendship with Robin.

The thing about both Robin and Nancy is that they don’t have a lot of secure relationships. Neither of them have great family lives, and their histories with friendships are not amazing. Both of them are literally making their second real friend in years (if you include Jonathan) in season four. As they grow to like and rely on each other, so too does their anxiety surrounding the relationship. They are starting to put trust in the other, but that gets so much harder once you’ve established an actual friendship with someone, that’s when you have to fight not to withdraw to protect yourself.

Both of them have their own self-protective coping mechanisms. Robin’s is more barbed wire while Nancy’s is closer to a thick brick wall, but what’s interesting is that I think they’d both be especially good at overcoming the other’s barrier. In just the first couple days of knowing each other, Robin has already proven herself to be a safer person to give her thoughts and ideas to than anyone Nancy’s ever encountered before. Meanwhile Nancy keeps choosing Robin even though she’s already seen Robin at her most anxious and clumsy, and she seems to be so calm in the face of the strange and weird.

#this response is a little all over the place #but it led to some interesting thoughts for myself so thank you #i really want to read a directly post s4 fic right now that goes into this stuff #I feel like both of them will feel the desire to pull away a bit after all the dangers over #like I said once someone with previous relationship trauma gets close to someone the harder it is to stay sometimes and not pull back #to both protect yourself and to almost subconsciously test their response #the issue is that if both of them do that #then it gets so much harder to keep the friendship #so they might need another catalyst to convince them of the safety of the relationship after the trauma bonding is over and the excuses #are gone #but! Nancy is the one most likely to continue to reach out #she holds tight onto people once she considers them 'hers' and loves them fiercely #not that robin wouldn't love back just as fiercely #but her trauma is more of the traditional relationship drama kind than Nancy's #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #ronance #stranger things #st

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todayisafridaynight · 7 months

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thinking of the very likely possibility there are true crime channels in the rgg universe and one (1) person has probably looked into masato's ''''''death'''''. for shits and giggles of course.

#snap chats #just got my spanish exam back and i love it when profs are like 'your lowest grade'll be dropped'#bestie i KNOW this'll be my lowest grade i just wanted to test the waters for how exams will go </3 i promise not to suck next time </3 #anyway main text post time. NO BUT DO YOU THINK #cause arakawa was infamous before and people knew of his son then but esp after the kamurocho k3 shit #his name DEF exploded and people DFE got nosy.....#i dont think anyone would have figured out that aoki was masato but maybe one (1) person figured he wasnt really dead #i still wanna know how masato's public death went..#but yeah can you imagine. going on youtube and some girl is talking about your fake death like it really happened and is speculating #and you just get to sit in your governor chair like Lol.#IMAGINE IF THE POOR LASS GETS FUCKIN. NECKED FOR THATLKEJKLJ #i dont think aoki would consider some random youtuber as an actual threat but that'd be hilarious if he did #anyway i just think we should exploit social media and the sort more with rgg characters #i think itd be really funny and the peak of comedy if we acknowledged how Actual people might react to shit #i mean... we already got vtubers interacting with the fuckinnn yakuza.. cant get more ridic than that.. lol..#ok bye im learning spanish now

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fergusdraws · 6 months

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lol i made a deer comic. in which a girl leaves a toxic work environment <3

#arpg art #deer #cervid #comic #doodles #shrike #wanted to test out comic making bc im considering trying a webcomic #i think its doable!#might take a minute to get my ducks in a row tho #rukaans

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dutybcrne · 27 days

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Thinkings thinkings of Fatui!Kaeya have been reawakened in reviewing Arle's teasers/animations

#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//Whether it's Dad!Pierro or not; I do love the idea of him being left in the care of the Fatui/House of Hearth #//Tho timelines considered; he prolly would be in Pierro's personal care while Arle goes through her Traumatic Matricide Experience #//Doubt the man would want to leave him out of his sight; Khaenri'ahn/Alberich ties considered #//Or maybe he was raised/trained to fight under Signora. Or even for Columbina (her namesake's ties to Pierro's; considered)#//Tho also do LOVE the idea of Kae and Taru growin up together in the Fatui ranks and being the disastrous + shy boi duo #//Tho Kae'd prolly have less to hide/fear with them when it comes to his heritage. The strictness he'd be raised with though...#//Eh; Taru could bring him out of his shell even still jdbgfkf. If anyone can; he deffo could. His little wintry sunshine #//So maybe he'd grow into his peacock self a little more naturally; even if perhaps still out of necessity/for ease of his missions #//Less of a facade to hide his grief/missing pieces tho; more like the way Taru is charming & goofy to lower people's guards #//Still has his little habit of testing people deffo is Much worse and much more sadistic when it comes down to it #//Particularly towards fellow Fatui who disrespect him or their comrades; or just someone he ends up disliking in general #//Does 'test' new comrades; but is more willing to step in & help them if need be. Wants UTMOST trust; determination & loyalty in his men #//So will only ever take those who push to complete the mission at all costs; even themselves/willingly ask him for help when they need it #//Dislikes those who run; & LOATHES cowards who abandon comrades to save themselves; he WILL deliberately make sure they don't make it back #//Still employs his intel gathering methods as normal verse; but has preying mantis tendencies when it comes down to it nbcfjgf #//ESP if they try to take advantage of/blackmail him in some way. Or worse; those who betray him. He is meticulous & VERY ruthless abt it #//His signature is decapitation & an unmelting (Abyssal energy-laced) ice shard through the heart; around which he'd carve a stylized one #//If those informants keep being useful to him; they are safe; and treated so lovingly by him; spoiled rotten with gifts & favors aplenty #//Once they lose their usefulness...well; regrettably he cannot leave any loose ends. These become frozen as statues for him to keep #//'Precious mementos of lovers & conspirators'; he'd call them. He'd keep them in his private home in Snezhnaya #v; glacialis pavonis (fatui!kaeya)#//If he had to have a Harbinger title/name (maybe bumped up for when Scara erases himself); he'd prolly be l'Innamorato #//Fitting of his methods (is also the remaining role of Commedia dell'arte lololol). He is saccharine sweet; pretty & deadly as a belladonn #//Deffo would have tango-based motifs rather than waltz; would favor frost-laced roses. Might even leave those with his victims too #//Can you tell I listened to Rondo Across Countless Kalpas as I wrote this up jhbfjgkfhf #hc; kaeya #//I mean yeah lol. I have so many more thinkings abt this verse aaAAAA #//Am torn if I want his to use a Cryo Delusion; or have him with Cryo Vision and an Anemo Delusion. Do like that for Cryo Swirls #//Then his rage/scorn could be likened to a Blizzard. Do like that image. Deffo favors his Abyssal powers more tho; maybe THAT'd be better

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the-physicality · 1 day

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#are we ready to have a conversation about the definition of “best goalie in the world” yet?#i'm being a bitch but i've held off on this #on the upside at least we were never shut out and we don't have to play fucking *******#to my first point this is the problem with not having a consistent league #international play is so limited that you cannot judge based on that and you cannot judge based on college #i mean tbt to last year's red stars #we should also have a conversation about how obsessed we are with shooting the puck low #and every other team has a couple of snipers #and if we sniped a little more instead of doing the fake outs we might be in a different place #im just so tired #and not to rub it in but we were never going to win the cup #like somehow every team plays their best against us #i hope erin ambrose still gets defender of the year #and i hope ******* ******* does not get 4 awards #like if you see someone coming at you 1-1 have you considered moving back in your crease a bit #i would also be interested to know if the order gets shaken up #because again if you are only playing internationally with the best defenders protecting you #then how much are you really tested #same could be said for campbell though #i maintain that montreal's biggest enemy is their brains #and he was way out of crease on a lot of these #and if you look at frankel or campbell's positioning they are never that far out #also we have to talk about the face offs being atrocious tonight #like i said i'm glad it's over #and like i said before i think i prefer the winning the league situation instead of the playoff setup #maybe minnesota pulls it out #but at the end of the day we are undefeated in regulation playoff hockey #brings me to another point which is would it not make more sense that you have to get 9 of 15 points in a playoff series #and so then the score would be 3-6 and we'd still be in it #like continue with the points system

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whentherewerebicycles · 1 year

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ok just had my dr appt and am feeling a lot better.

we’re going to increase my dosage of the meds + do a diagnostic test on friday to see if my fallopian tubes are blocked (and i guess the test itself can improve conception rates after because of the type of dye they use?). the cost of the test is within the range i felt i could afford so that’s good too. most importantly she was really reassuring about the “if you have 3 failed cycles IUI won’t work for you” advice that is allllll over the internet. her take is that the research focuses mostly on heterosexual couples who likely had difficulties conceiving naturally for a year or more before seeking fertility care... meaning they’ve typically gone through 15-16 unsuccessful cycles (12 of trying to conceive naturally + 3-4 with IUI). in that case there’s likely some other reason things aren’t working and so it makes sense, timing wise and financially, to move on to the highest-tech option (ie IVF). but for single women and/or lesbians who are trying to conceive, those 3-4 IUI cycles are their first and only attempts. and if the medical history looks good and the person is responding well to the medication, then it might just be a timing and luck thing. so she says if everything looks good on the test we’re doing friday, she recommends that i try six cycles before we reassess. and if i can balance the costs and don’t want to do IVF, she says there’s no reason why i couldn’t follow the regular guidance for couples trying non-medicated cycles ie a full year of trying (although at that point i might decide the financial / emotional cost isn’t worth it).

#iui tag #that weekend of wallowing was uhh little bit rough on me but #i feel better and ready to keep moving #applied for a second job for the summer/fall that would help offset the cost #and if i don't hear about that one i might reach out to my old bosses to see if they'd take me back on #i think if i can work out the money stuff it'll just alleviate a lot of the stress around each individual try #like i think a lot of my panic is just watching my savings dwindle so fast #right as i am preparing to take a very sizeable pay cut #the pay cut is 100000% worth it for my sanity lol but it does put pressure on other areas of my life #blah blah okay #i also think i learned a valuable lesson from this last time which is: don't test a day early and in fact consider testing a day late #testing a day early just prolongs the agony of the 'waiting for your period to start' period and tips you from hopeful into despairing #like 24 hours earlier than you need to be there #SO yeah.#idk anyway hopefully the test goes well and i can do this cycle #and if not i will have more info on friday and can make more decisions then

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ihaventsleptinweekz · 6 months

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Sometimes I think I'm a normal person then the 11 pm thought kicks in and suddenly I'm insane

#Going to mildly and vaugly vent in the tags to buckle up ^_^#Will not clarify on any of this because it's more fun not to. Hope that helps #Anyway I'm kind of just. Weirded out by myself rn. Like I'm fine but I'm side-eyeing myself a little bit #And recently I've been believing thay I think really I was more immature a year ago #and while I do think back at her (year ago me) and kinda laugh at her for being overdramatic I feel kinda bad about it because yknow I was #But then I got kind of weirdly slowed down? In my being less freaked out process #Mostly because of Hellenite everyone say thank you hellenite (sarcastic love those fics so much)#But reading the fic kind of reminded me of the emotions that were going on at that time #And while I don't really miss or regret what happened too much anymore I think the general emotions of it started popping up again #Like idk how to say this but I'm over IT as a whole- but the emotions are still kinda left over?#Man really do NOT know how to put this #Cause it's kinda old news and frankly I am wildly happy with where I am right now #And I'm kind of thankful?? But also just a little :I about the whole thing. Which is making me inwardly side-eyeish #And I do think that I probably wouldn't change much if I could- and honestly I'm a little more embarrassed than anything else #Sorry for the weird long rambling tags just didn't want to call either of the like- maybe 3 friends I'd consider bringing this up with #I probably should check in with them though #Ough and I have work to do tmrw #Ew ew ew ew #Feel like this week has gone too damn fast and also not fast enough lmao #I'm also kinda nervous because I might have to take the ASL placement test soon to see if I qualify for skipping a couple ASL classes #Which would be nice cause I would LOVE to graduate quicker #And with all the AP classes I took in high-school it'd be nice to knock a bit of time off my college thing #Although admittedly I DID get that scholarship so it couldn't hurt???#It might actually give me more time to get EIPA certified and check out some internships??#Which would make getting jobs out of college WAY easier #Although maybe it'd be easier to get NIC certified if I retook a couple classes instead of trying to skip them??? God maybe I'd be behind #Ofc that wouldn't be a thing until after college #I'll probably have to save up money soon to start thinking about taking the test since it's so damn hard and so damn expensive #At least from what other interpreters have told me #Which is good!!! The it being hard thing anyways. Makes sure Deaf people get GOOD interpreters thst they deserve!!

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aurora-watching · 3 months

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🙃

#called the DR about some pain that doesn't seem to be getting better with the meds he prescribed #he sent me a prn medicine to take which is very helpful #but the assistant was talking with me sent to me to get blood work done to rule out an infection #considering the procedures/tests i had back to back #but that according to my chart it could be NERVE PAIN #which is fun bc thats the first time they told me what it might be #but so i looked up nerve pain in that area and im like 90% sure thats it #but lots of top results were reddit posts about ppl talking about how their lives suck now!#a medical website said it could be from trauma to the area and it showed a picture of someone getting hit with a soccer ball #so maybe hockey did this me

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byanyan · 7 months

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took a page out of moon's book and started playing around with the idea of illustrated icons but i am Unsure

#actually tbh i considered using the webtoon for icons way back at the beginning of this blog #the only thing that stopped me...... was the short hair #it's still the main thing making me hesitate tbh #but lbr nothing's ever gonna suit perfectly for an oc #even my irl icons aren't Perfect for byan and never will be bc their perfect look exists only in my head #but the vibes here are decent now that i finally went to the trouble of digging up a pdf of the full comic and started scrolling through it #(bc i'm a fake fan who has never actually read it oops)#also it's literally animated jk like it can't get more ideal than this right #AND LIKE. it's always felt a little off to me to throw my irl icons onto threads w my mutuals who only have animated icons/fcs #i don't mind it THAT much but similar media makes things a little less jarring to look at #IDK idk i'm finishing up a reply to one such thread so i might take the opportunity to test the idea out idk #could play around with the colour palette too and make it more pink or smth 🤔#that could help add a little more of the right energy too maybe hmmm #anyway i'm rambling yes i'm thinking about it too much shush #if u read through all this ilu pls feel free to share ur opinion w me bc i'm Indecisive™️#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.

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merriclo · 1 year

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the only good thing abt being 5’3 is that i’m the perfect height to cosplay link. that’s the only good thing.

#fr tho. considering it. heavily.#i already have boots that would work #would probably go for oot or botw link #i wanna do both someday tho no doubt #what if i. make my own tunic. what if huh. what then.#i’ve been wanting to pick up sewing and ik it might not be the best beginners project #but who cares if the hyoerfixation is strong enough it’ll work out #as i’m typing this i am convincing myself more and more. i might do a makeup test tonight

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unproduciblesmackdown · 10 months

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thinking of [thinking & talking of the rian & winston dynamic] while reading the short study article "“This Was Just How This Friendship Worked”: Experiences of Interpersonal Victimization Among Autistic Adults" as thinking & talking abt things re: winston billions has Been something of a framework / touchstone for doing so re: [autistic experiences] more broadly....from going "dare i say winston is Autistic" (yes) to "sure he's established as being in a duo with this coworker who's insulated as he's vulnerable & supported as he's undermined as an already unfavorable foundation to the dynamic, & then as it plays out we see it's unilateral, with winston being hurt on purpose onesidedly for fun or to push him to do (or not do) something, left to 'just roll with it' onesidedly after such treatment, put down including around other people, Only getting less hostile, more constructive treatment when & while that's what happens to be what rian feels like, Not when he feels like it, b/c that's what he feels like all the time & only gets sometimes just out of frame laughing too, all while the basis of this is rian doing what she wants at any point while winston can only respond "accordingly" and Put Up With It and be disappointed while having no real recourse but to possibly give up on the relationship entirely, which doesn't even necessarily extricate him from being used / bullied here....but what about 'i mean is it That Bad(tm)' and 'i mean but did the victim respond with perfect strategy' and 'i mean but does the person hurting/using them feel like they're justified & normal actually' (ofc they can & do any/all thee time" lol like. yes.

anyways and some fun banger quotes in general, as stated re: [of course this is also like, talking about Anything irl too]

Forster and Pearson5 asked autistic adults about their experiences of relationships and understanding of mate crime, which is a form of interpersonal victimization perpetrated by those considered friends (“mate” is a British slang term for friend).1,2 Participants outlined the challenges that they faced building genuine, reciprocal relationships and their experiences of victimization. They also spoke about their difficulties identifying unreasonable behavior from others, and heightened social compliance. These findings were consistent with previous research into relationships16–20 and peer victimization among autistic adults.6,21

Participants in this study also explicitly suggested that a personal relationship between the perpetrator and victim was more insidious than bullying alone, as it could make it harder to spot disingenuous behavior. This aligns with the suggestion made by disabled scholars that terming interpersonal victimization as “bullying” can make it appear “low level” in nature.22–24

The difficulty in identifying manipulative and implicit social intentions can be explained through the lens of the double empathy problem.25 The double empathy problem posits that differences in communication style can lead to mutual difficulties in understanding between interlocutors. Autistic adults have self-identified how these bidirectional breakdowns can lead to problems with reading below surface-level social intentions in other people, and have shared concerns over their potential for being manipulated.20,26 The double empathy problem helps to frame these concerns as an interaction between the person and context, as opposed to an innate vulnerability.27

[...]

Theme 2 drew together three subthemes, centered around how the participants perceived what had happened to them. They focused on their difficulty in trusting their instincts around what is acceptable social behavior, often giving others the benefit of the doubt at a detriment to their own needs. They also highlighted how difficult it could be to recognize victimization, and how they felt when they did not recognize it. Finally, the third theme focused on the notion of compliance and how it had pervaded their situation.

[...]

Questioning their own input had meant it had taken them time and support from others to process a situation, only recognizing later what had happened to them: “otherwise having peace and time to focus on myself and my other friends (as well as support from a few close friends), I soon recognised that both ‘friends' had been abusive towards me from nearly the beginning of our friendship” (P.15, man, 26).

[...]

Some participants said that they struggled to spot negative social intentions and identify abusive behavior (theme 2.2), or trust their own judgment about other people (theme 2.1), which is consistent with some previous research.26,51 Some of the participants seemed to blame themselves for not “spotting” the abuse while it occurred, labeling themselves as oblivious, however, a participant who did recognize that they were being manipulated during the situation itself also said it made them feel naive. It is worth noting that the ability to retrospectively identify abuse and the ability to spot abuse “in situ” are not the same, but that they may lead to the same emotional response.

[...]

There are also multiple factors that can affect both identifying abuse and knowing how to deal with it. First, the ability to pick up on often subtle signals exhibited by abusers, particularly in situations where coercion is used, requires knowledge about what a good healthy relationship looks like. Comments from some of our participants were indicative of victimization beginning early in childhood, perpetrated by parents and caregivers. Abuse from those who are meant to care for us and “know better” can impact on the ability to recognize unacceptable behavior in others later in life.52

Spotting these signals can also rely on not taking people at “face value,” and engaging in continuing reflection on what someone has said or done. For an autistic person who tends to be straightforward in their communication style and who says what they mean, it might not occur that someone they are interacting with is being disingenuous. This can be explained through the lens of the “double empathy problem.”25 The double empathy problem recognizes that difficulties in inferring the intentions of others do not need to be labeled as a social “deficit” or “one sided” to recognize its impact. It is important that we draw upon the double empathy problem to find ways of supporting people who feel they struggle with understanding social intentions without pathologizing this difficulty.

Second, identifying abuse can also be impacted by our perceptions of our own contribution to the situation. Several participants highlighted the experience of gaslighting and invalidation from perpetrators, and this had led some people to question their perception of the situation and blame themselves. This made it harder for them to recognize that what was happening was abusive, and to put a stop to it or leave the situation. Our findings did suggest that a good support network and time/guidance to introspect could be helpful in recognizing abuse.53 This is consistent with research showing the importance of peer support systems47,54 and suggests that it is important to support autistic people in developing good-quality relationships.18

Third, even if someone can identify abusive behavior, this does not always result in knowing what to do about it, or feeling like you have a choice to change the situation, which our findings around compliance (theme 2.3) highlighted. Some participants discussed feeling like they needed to appease perpetrators, or avoid confrontation, which is consistent with previous literature.5,21 However, this was not the only reason for compliance, and the circumstances that contributed toward it were often complex. Some participants complied out of recognition that it was the only way to maintain a semblance of safety within risky situations, for example, having to comply with the demands of others to avoid physical harm. For other participants, power dynamics were present that made the situation they were in more complicated, for example, the perpetrator was a family member.

[...]

A recent study examined the experience of trauma and PTSD symptoms in autistic adults, finding that the experience of “bullying” was one of the common traumatic life events reported by autistic people who had increased PTSD symptoms.48 The authors argue that autistic people may be more likely to experience trauma from events outside of current PTSD diagnostic criteria, which is not unlikely given the sustained stigma that many autistic people experience.63,64 Some of the acts that our participants described as “bullying” and being “taken advantage of” included domestic and sexual abuse, and financial exploitation.

There may be considerations to be made here about the way in which we ask questions about negative life experiences, and how different questions may elicit different responses. The line between abuse, bullying, and more nebulous concepts such as “being taken advantage of” is not particularly clear, and we know that bullying can have incredibly negative effects on an individual.14 However, it is important that future research acknowledges that despite autistic people being labeled as “literal” in their communication, they may downplay their experiences through the terminology they use.

#winston billions #sure will be like. pretty Informative about billions overall if we wrap this shit up & rian's behavior has still gone unchallenged #It Has by winston; but has even going ''hey he seems to be getting closer to / choosing to spend more time with this apparent Better #Friendship with tuk'' been written in as primarily About winston as a character or was it instead About getting him; the peripheral joke;#out of the way? which writing him away might also be about #a real comprehensive litmus test about how far billions will take its own questioning of power dynamics & norms #and/or; rather; what Kinds of situations it considers important to question at all #bullying sucks sure but i mean yeah Some people deserve it so that they'll become more neuroconforming #which uncoincidentally is for all intents & purposes the same as ppl Simply externally Acting Correctly(tm)#which of course includes their perfect alignment with what interpersonal hierarchies demand of them

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dramatisperscnae · 10 months

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🪢

[from this meme]

How had it come to this. Why. He stared around the cell, the white walls almost taunting him with their blankness, their sheer open brightness. What need had he of that? What need had he of the light in this single room when the darkness of the dungeon outside was what truly called to him? Any light he might have had in his life was gone. Had been taken, stolen away. And he’d been unable to prevent it.

The furniture was still scattered, toppled from his initial rage, but a cold and pained fury had since replaced that. After all, when he had first been informed of the event it had not been in detail. Odin had seen to it that he’d gotten the story, though. How Frigga had stood in defense of the Midgardian girl his foster brother seemed so taken with. How that action, that deception, had cost her her life. Had cost Loki the one person in Asgard he still cared for, who still cared for him. Had cost him his mother.

Fists clenched as emerald eyes glared around at the smooth white walls. Why were they lit? Why was there any light here? All light was gone, could they not see that? Could they not understand that the one redeemable soul in Asgard was fallen thanks to his brother’s idiotic blindness, his need to have that human girl? Power began swirling around him, reaching the furniture, the glassware, yet strangely leaving the books all but untouched, only their covers and pages moving as if caught in a breeze.

Everything else began swirling around the room, rebounding off the walls, a chaotic maelstrom that went without witness as the rage swept fully through the Jotun-born Asgardian. But there was no sound from his throat. No words, no cry, not even the barest whimper of pain or fury escaped him. He was beyond such sounds, as he was beyond anyone seeing his fall. They would not, of course; he would not let them. Even as the storm had begun an illusion had been sprung to let any onlooker see him reading quietly or pacing in his cell as was often his wont. Within, however, was a much different story.

As the maelstrom began ripping things apart, shards of wood and glass littering the floor of the cell, Loki reached out to take physical part in the destruction. He seized a chair and hurled it at the wall where it shattered, lashed out and broke the table where once he had rested the small collection of books. Gifts from his mother. From the mother who would no longer be able even to look in on him. Finally a cry erupted, a primal scream of fury and pain, the sound of one whose heart had been forcibly torn from his chest.

When the scream had faded, the last echoes dying away in the corners, so too did the maelstrom. The cell was a wreck, ruined furniture and glass shards littering the floor, the walls almost gloatingly unscathed by his wrath, but Loki paid them no mind. He cared not, cared for nothing. For nothing was what he had left. With the loss of Frigga, of the one person he’d been sure he could even remotely call on his side, a void had opened in his life. A void that would never again be filled.

What did the lights of a cell matter?

#Communication #normaltothemax #loki ic #this remains one of my favorite things I have ever written as Loki #and I am seriously considering porting him over here and leaving his blog up as an archive #I can't handle multiple RP blogs anymore #it's why I burnt out so bad #but porting him here might help scratch the itch >w>#test drive

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