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thinkin-bout-milgram · 6 months

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Double: Initial Thoughts

Hello Milgram community! It's time to talk about Mikoto's second MV, Double! This is pretty fun for me, given that Mikoto is actually the first prisoner whose MV I watched when it came out. I have gotten so much better at theorizing. The old theory is... meh. Ignore it, it was wrong and doesn't really matter.

Though, to be honest, and I think people will agree here -- I don't feel like Double actually gave us much to work with. The biggest thing is the confirmation (in my opinion) that there for sure only are two alters, which makes things easier to figure out, not harder. Because of this, these initial thoughts might be a bit less interesting than normal. Still, I'll do my best!

T/W: Murder, toxic work environments, mental health crises, blood

For the sake of this theory, I'll be using @onigiriico's English translation of Mikoto's new audio drama, Neoplasm! Thanks as always for your great work! I'd also like to thank everyone who sent in help with the translations! I'll be using Rochisama's (@barudo's) translation post, which translates all of the Japanese background text in the MV.

Also, as you'll see in the audio drama, Es takes to calling Orekoto John and Bokuto Mikoto. I... will not be doing that. They're called Bokuto and Orekoto to me based on the personal pronouns they use.

Disclaimer: I'm for sure not an expert on DID, so if I say anything wrong/offensive please let me know so I can correct it!

Anyways though, here's what thoughts I do have!

Orekoto's alter developed as a result of stress in Bokuto's life.

This is pretty much straight-up confirmed in the audio drama.

Orekoto: … I think… I might be the person Boku wishes he was. The person who stubbornly stands his ground, who doesn’t cry himself to sleep from stress, who gives people their payback. If I, the “ore” personality, hadn’t been born, I’m sure Boku would have reached his limit and fallen apart.

Based on this, we know that there's some general stressor going on in Bokuto's life, and we know that Orekoto seems like the new alter who developed for the sake of protecting Bokuto. I believe that's what's pictured at the beginning of the MV:

The glass breaking is most likely meant to display the "fracturing" of Mikoto's identity, signifying the creation of the Orekoto alter.

The most obvious stressor in Bokuto's life seems to be work. At the beginning of the MV (0:12-0:18), we see Mikoto's phone with text messages. The text translates as follows:

Chief (7 mins ago) Regarding the first draft you submitted today, I think option B might be the best after all, so can you remake by the morning.

Chief (5 mins ago) Also I forgot to mention, but you also made a lot of mistakes with the one we spoke about earlier, so make sure it’s all fixed too. This one also needs to be ready by morning, so I’ll leave it to you to get everything ready.

It seems like his "Chief," likely the boss of his job, is demanding a lot of work from him, and Bokuto is struggling to keep up with his work. On the whole, it seems like Bokuto is kinda just struggling to cope with living.

You’re overdoing it, you’re already broken

I was having such a hard time, I was trying so hard

That's what Orekoto comes into the picture.

Orekoto killed ??? people.

We don't know how many people he may have killed! The video is... pretty nonspecific about it. There are definitely multiple mannequins that he smashed, which for sure implies multiple.

Based on MeMe, I thought it was only one person, just because it seems like he only hid one body. Based on the new audio drama, I don't think he killed multiple different times, either.

Es: Who did you kill? Orekoto: Just someone who was walking around nearby. Es: … How many did you kill? Orekoto: Can’t remember. I was first born back then, you know. It’s kinda fuzzy.

If the murder happened right around when he was "first born," it would make sense if it's only the one time, right? It's possible that this is meant to refer to a broader time frame and I'm taking "first" too literally here, but I still think it's a definite possibility that he only killed one person.

It's gonna be hard to get a confirmation on that one, since it seems like Bokuto and Orekoto don't know the actual number. Still, we can look at the crime out of context of the body count and try to determine our forgiveness of that.

Neither Bokuto nor Orekoto are coping well with the guilty verdict.

Bokuto is, understandably, distressed. He's aware enough to realize that things have changed and that something must be happening while he's "sleeping," but he still seems to have no idea what's actually happening or who Orekoto is.

Notably, in both MeMe and Double, Bokuto is seen reacting to Orekoto in at least some ways. However, the way it's portrayed, I don't really think that's a lie or feigned innocence in any way. My best guess is that it's just using the visuals of what actually happened while showing Bokuto's distress with not knowing what's happening.

Either way, Bokuto was heading straight for a mental breakdown before accidentally committing ??? murders and getting told he's guilty for it by a weird mystery prison, so it's not surprising at all that he's faring poorly.

As Orekoto hypothesizes in the audio drama, the amount of stress Bokuto is under is actually why we've seen Orekoto fronting so much more now. Orekoto exists to help Bokuto escape from the stress of his day to day life, and given that Milgram has become extremely stressful, Orekoto fronts a lot.

Orekoto isn't doing super well either, though, likely as a result of the toll everything is taking on Bokuto. He exists and did what he did solely to protect Bokuto, so the fact that it's causing Bokuto stress and potentially endangering him definitely isn't something he'd be happy about. The MV focuses on this pretty heavily at the end.

The audio drama tells us that Orekoto is perfectly willing to own up to his guilt and take the blame for what he did. He's very clear about Bokuto not having done anything, though, and insists he has no idea what was going on. He was only dreaming.

I have no idea how the end of MeMe plays into this video.

I interpreted Orekoto handing Bokuto the death card as a moment where Orekoto shows Bokuto his existence and letting him know about the murders, but like I said, I don't really believe Bokuto knows anymore. If that's the case, though, I have NO clue what that scene was supposed to mean. I can't really figure out how to piece Double and MeMe together, and based on how little I feel like I got out of Double, it concerns me to just disregard MeMe-based theories entirely.

That being said...

VERDICT: INNOCENT

Please vote him innocent. For pretty much any reason I can think of, an innocent verdict is better.

Orekoto is right when he says that Milgram clearly instructs us to judge Bokuto specifically; Orekoto isn't a prisoner in regards to restraints or rules, but Bokuto is. If you're judging based on forgiveness, if Bokuto truly didn't know, it's hard not to forgive him, even if he arguably shares guilt.

Mikoto in general is probably more likely to have a further mental breakdown if we keep applying pressure with a guilty verdict, which in turn makes him more likely to lash out in stress again and kill another prisoner. We can't restrain Orekoto, who would likely continue fronting in the face of a guilty verdict, and we already know that his high-stress coping mechanism is killing whoever walks by. It's the safer option to vote innocent.

And then there's the fact that I just, like... want to help him? Genuinely forgive him? I don't want to vote Mikoto guilty. There's no point, and I just disagree with it. I'm pretty firmly in the innocent camp on this one, and based on the votes, it seems like a lot of people agree.

#milgram #ミルグラム #admin venus #mikoto kayano #theory #milgram theory #this is kinda short and doesn't have a lot of insight #my bad but also i got nothing #i'll try to figure out how meme and double connect at some point #saturn and i are also planning on going through a bunch of the hard to read text and making a post about what it says/what we think it says #hopefully soon #lmk what you think #anyways mikoto inno sweep

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corviids · 10 months

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You should know that someone is stirring problems with your art and the latest installments in gilded lilies. You should know in case you get bombarded with hate comments https://twitter.com/litathesissy/status/1672795383196418049?t=uZjfGFALpfuXW_l9DkkmMA&s=19

i drafted this entire thing and then my app refreshed so bear with me 😭 i’m also at dinner with my fam but wanted to say something

1. the art: referencing older artists like claude monet isn’t uncommon (at least in the art circles i’ve ran it) but in hindsight i understand that wasn’t the best choice to do without explicitly stating i did so so i take 100% accountability for that. i honestly wasn’t giving it much thought just because that drawing specifically, i worked on-forgot about-and then saw in my files and was like “hey lemme post that”. if you want insight into how i drew it, i side by sided my canvas and reference and then overlay after doing the sketch to correct the funkiness. i will definitely add an edit stating i referenced it.

2. the fic: another author reached out to me earlier regarding this this morning and we discussed it in private but i think it best to just say something here: the similarities in the specific scene are a complete coincidence. i have had aenys presenting and going feral as a result of luke planned for a while bc i’ve known i wanted aenys to be an alpha since the start. the specific “i’m his mother” “i’m your uncle” was meant to both be kinda hot but also show how different luke and aemond’s mindsets are towards their kids. luke tunnel visions whereas aemond recognizes their natures. i have discussed the aenys-aemond-luke dynamic pretty extensively elsewhere (bc i wanna keep nsfw off here), but there is a through line in my fics that aenys is a protective mamas boy and aemond is jealous of that. as for the setting, i frequently use the training yards in my fics when i want public displays to happen (and the nursery in private). i can only say that the similarities where not at all intentional.

3. as for the specific fic, i have read it in the past but in all honesty, i never retain specific scenes in fics. this isn’t bc an authors works are not being memorable, simply that i struggle to retain info beyond my hyperfixations bc my adhd. this is why i struggle to rec fics when asked. i’ve had numerous scrapped fics bc as i worked on them, something similar popped up and i didn’t wanna create that overlap. i genuinely did not even think about the other fic while writing mine. i went into it wanting to write heat sex but also wanted to build on the world of gilded lilies by giving some info on what the kids are up to as they are older

if the other author would like me to add a note in my fic regarding the similarities, i would be happy to discuss it with them as i don’t want to do it without their permission bc i haven’t seen anything from them and don’t want to involve them if they do not want to be.

to kinda conclude, the similarities were not at all intentional. the ideas in this fic for that scene was mostly based on things i’ve already messed around with and constant rambling with others in discord. as for the art, i once again take accountability for that and apologize for being so careless with it.

also: please do not harass anyone. i want to believe no one will but i just want to say that bc i’ve seen drama unfold before in past fandoms and want to avoid exposing people to that.

lemme know if y’all want me to expand upon anything else :)

#sorry if this is a mess #just wanted to say something cuz i’ve already gotten some nasty anons #asks

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thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai · 3 months

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Every comment is valuable

Recently, I received a comment for one of my works I couldn't make quite sense of at first. It wasn't the first time that happened and I believe every writer makes this experience more than once, but it was the first time in 11 years of posting fanfiction across various archives that I came to fully understand and appreciate the value of a comment that does nothing but confuse the hell out of me.

The comment was for an early chapter of my canonic Yuri!!! On Ice novelisation Can You Hear My Heartbeat. My first instinct was to shrug it off as I had absolutely no idea how to deal with it. But as the day progressed, I found my mind returning to it, trying to figure out what its writer had tried to convey. I ended up reading the scene the comment referred to and soon figured out that the scene had failed its purpose to examine the feelings and motivations of its POV character.

In said scene, I explore the reunion of the two main characters Yuuri and Viktor at the end of episode 1 from Viktor's perspective. The comment quoted Viktor's final dialogue line in that scene and claimed that he was being "most extra". I had no idea what that meant, but I deeply felt that it stood in stark contrast to the (canon) Viktor in that scene.

This is the scene as it was on AO3 when I received the comment:

Strange noises inside stirred him, ripping him out of his daydream. The door banged open. A figure stumbled through in a flurry of brown parka and dark hair, slipped on the tiles, and fell face-first in front of the spring. “Ouch.” The young Japanese man propped himself up. Behind blue-framed glasses, his brown eyes widened as he spotted Viktor. “V-Viktor?” It’s him! Viktor’s heart stopped, then went into overdrive. Suddenly, all weariness was gone. The story of longing and despair that had made no sense was finally coming to its glorious conclusion. As he saw Yuuri now with his messy hair, his soft features, and his gentle brown eyes, it was as if no time had passed since Yuuri had clung to him and begged him to be his coach. “What are you doing here?” Yuuri breathed. Why’s he asking? Here as in the spring or in this place? And with that, the nervousness was back. Viktor took the towel off his head and stood, flashing Yuuri a dazzling smile. “Yuuri,” he said, holding out his hand. “Starting today, I’m your new coach.” He winked. “I’ll make you win the Grand Prix Final.” Yuuri’s mouth popped open. “What?” he spluttered. “WHAT?” Still smiling, Viktor kept holding out his hand, waiting for Yuuri to take it and step to the edge of the spring so they could embrace. Instead, Yuuri spun and bolted back into the house. Viktor stared after him, not understanding. “Huh? Was this too much of a surprise?” he murmured. “Did I overdo it?”

(Note that in the anime, Yuuri doesn't accidentally prostrate himself in front of Viktor. In the anime, he stumbles several times on his way to the hot spring, but as this happens where Viktor can't see it, I added this detail to make the scene more humorous.)

This scene ignores the ramifications of Viktor being nervous about their reunion (as any human being would be!) and his confusion when Yuuri asks why he is here because he doesn't know that Yuuri forgot their encounter at the Grand Prix Final banquet four months earlier. Speaking superficially, it's from Viktor's POV, but it doesn't really explore what is going on inside his head.

As an international celebrity, Viktor has gotten into the habit of acting like a star, especially towards the press and his fans. Viktor is used to wearing a mask in public and as a consequence, he unlearned how to be himself. However, this scene disregards these central aspects of his character. When I wrote it, the Viktor living inside my head wasn't yet fully fleshed out. After I finished the draft of Thousand Spotlights, this scene was one of those I revisited to make adjustments, but I still missed some aspects because I already had adopted a certain "blindness" for my own text.

This is one of the reasons I often ask whether the scenes from the anime are well-embedded into my novelisation.

After contemplating the scene based on that comment, I revised it in my Word document and updated the respective chapter on AO3:

Strange noises from inside the building ripped Viktor out of his daydream. Snowflakes were still tumbling from the sky. The door banged open. A figure stumbled out in a flurry of brown parka and dark hair, slipped on the tiles, and fell face-first in front of the spring. “Ouch.” The young Japanese man propped himself up. Behind blue-framed glasses, his brown eyes widened as he spotted Viktor. “V-Viktor?” It’s him! Viktor’s heart stopped, then went into overdrive. The story of longing and despair that had made no sense was finally coming to its glorious conclusion. As he saw Yuuri now with his messy hair, his soft features, and his gentle brown eyes, it was as if no time had passed since Yuuri had clung to him and begged him to be his coach. “What are you doing here?” Yuuri breathed. Why’s he asking? Here as in the spring or in this place? Viktor struggled to process the implications. His heart was fluttering uncontrollably in his chest. Had Yuuri forgotten that he had extended the invitation? Something felt off, but Viktor struggled to put a finger on it. However, two decades of being a public figure had trained him to navigate unclear situations. After all, Yuuri was his fan, wasn’t he? Viktor took the towel off his head and stood, flashing Yuuri one of his star-smiles. “Yuuri,” he said, holding out his hand. “Starting today, I’m your new coach.” He gave a playful wink that regularly brought even people not liking men to their knees. “I’ll make you win the Grand Prix Final.” Yuuri’s mouth popped open. “What?” he spluttered. “WHAT?” Still smiling, Viktor kept holding out his hand, waiting for Yuuri to take it and step to the edge of the spring so they could embrace. Time stretched on to a taut eternity. Viktor’s heart was hammering in his ribcage. Snow kept tumbling down from grey skies. Two metres across from him, Yuuri spun on his heel and bolted back into the house. Viktor stared after him, not understanding. “Huh? Was this too much of a surprise?” he murmured. “Did I overdo it?”

This second version expands on Viktor's feelings like his nervousness and his confusion as well as on his thoughts when he greets Yuuri. It shows that he reverts to taking on a persona to navigate through life (we see him do that in abundance until Yuuri asks him to be himself and saves the celebrity-persona for press and fans). There's nothing "extra" about his behaviour, he's just applying what he learned and what he seems to be comfortable with in unclear situations. So far, he has been successful with that, and he has yet to learn that this doesn't work with Yuuri.

The additions I made to flesh out Viktor's character are still subtle enough to leave space for interpretation while making sure that he stays in-character.

I'm really glad that this reader alerted me to a problem I wasn't aware of, although it took me a while to get to the solution. I thanked them and told them that I was able to improve the scene (and I really hope I didn't scare them off!)

Writers, if you receive a comment that doesn't make sense to you at first glance or that might even annoy you, it's worth taking a closer look. It might help you find errors no one else noticed and improve your writing and deepen the understanding of your characters.

Readers, please don't be afraid to let us writers know what you think about our works. If you hesitate to comment on a story because your think that your thoughts are silly, take heart in knowing that every comment is valuable to us and can help us write better stories that in turn bring you more joy.

#writing #fanfiction #comments #fanfiction comments #ao3 fanfic #ao3 author #can you hear my heartbeat #viktor nikiforov #katsuki yuuri #yuri on ice #yoi #yoi fanfic #my yoi fanfic #ADTLTBAverse

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beholdthemem · 1 year

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@alwaysatomicconniseur long ago and far away you very generously responded to this Christmas Edition Ship Meme I’d reblogged with ‘How about Chrissy and Eddie?’ I was delighted, started this, and then forgot until I went through my drafts earlier today like ‘OH, WAIT, LAST DAY-’

Thank you for your generosity in giving me an excuse to yell about these two, and for your endless patience. May your holiday be excellent.

-Who starts putting up decorations in October?

I’m gonna say they have an understanding that October is sacred. Those are 31 days meant to be devoted to Halloween, and Halloween ONLY.

November, meanwhile, is a point of contention. Eddie feels that November should be spent as the Post-Halloween-Mourning-Period, wherein Halloween decorations are left up until whoever you’re living with loudly announces that they cannot live this way anymore, that Jack-o-Lantern outside is ROTTING and squirrels may occassionally be using it as a sex den, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. IT’S THANKSGIVING.

Chrissy, meanwhile, jumps into Christmas preparations immediately. This has less to do with her feelings on Christmas, and more to do with Thanksgiving being specifically devoted to both food and family. The less time she has to think about it, the better.

At some point Eddie puts two and two together. He does not comment, but he does start helping her put decorations up.

He refuses to put the Halloween decorations away, though, so the house is just filled with skeletons and bloody mannequins covered in tinsel until December 1st. Steve, who somehow always gets saddled with working Black Friday, says this looks like his own personal version of hell.

-Who buys Advent Calendars?

Chrissy introduced Eddie to the concept of Advent Calendars. He buys multiple, and then guts them all immediately upon getting home. There will be no waiting day by day, there is candy in there NOW.

-Who places mistletoe all around the house?

The first Christmas they spent together, Chrissy surprised him by putting it in one doorway and jokingly demanding a kiss tax any time one of them entered or left the room. She took it down at the end of the day, and then discovered the next morning that Eddie had willingly gotten up early for the first time in God only knew how long to stick some in every doorway in the house.

“You are ridiculous-”

“Pay up!”

“Absolutely ridiculous!”

“Less laughing, more ki- mmph-”

-Who wraps the presents for other people?

Chrissy’s got years of gift exchanges under her belt from various extracurriculars, meaning she has wrapping down to a science. Eddie’s not bad, but she’s so much faster at it that she usually ends up taking over just to get things done.

-Who puts the star/angel on top of the Christmas tree?

Eddie is required to do this as the resident Tall Person in the house. He has mentioned on more than one occassion that this is the only time post-puberty that anyone’s ever considered him a Tall Person.

-Who’s the one that hates eggnog?

Eddie, purely due to the Christmas of ‘78 when he swapped out the non-alcoholic eggnog Wayne had bought for the two of them with the stuff Wayne had intended to give a coworker. He spent Christmas morning throwing up what felt like everything he’d eaten in the past week while Wayne alternated between patting his back and yelling at him.

-Who’s the one that bakes Christmas cookies for guests?

Neither. It’s one of those things that Chrissy feels like she probably should do, but somehow never ends up getting around to. Eddie, meanwhile, simply does not bother.

-Who sends out the Christmas cards?

Making them is a joint effort, but the one who actually remembers to mail them in time is Chrissy.

-Who knows all the words to Twelve Days of Christmas?

Eddie, and he cannot for the life of him explain why. He has no memory of learning them.

-Who’s the better snowman builder?

Define better. Structually sound? Chrissy. Recognizable as a snowman for the minute and a half it stays up before collapsing under its own weight? Eddie.

-Who starts snowball fights?

Eddie starts em, Chrissy wins.

-Who’s the one that wakes the other up on Christmas morning by playing Christmas songs really loudly?

CHRISSY. It’s her one allocated Gremlin Moment per month, she’s always up at that hour anyway, and now both Eddie and the dog are gonna be up with her.

#stranger things #chrissy cunningham #eddie munson #thank you so much for giving me an excuse to do this!

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nctsjaemin · 2 years

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Your Taeyong facecams set is amazing! ♡ post/674385189826330624/nct-127-taeyong-facecams. You seem to have the perfect balance of cool tones and warm in that set. Do you mind me asking how you get such vibrant, lustrous coloring without sacrificing quality, and without making faces unnaturally/overly red/orange? In other words, do you have any tips on how to get vibrant coloring and crisp gifs? Your help would be greatly appreciated! Happy New Year~ ♡

okk first things first! i’m so so sorry this answer is super late. i had this saved in my drafts for ages but i completely forgot to post this (that’s why it still say happy new year down below 😭😭). everything below this paragraph is what i meant to post earlier. again, i’m so sorry for how late this is. i’m such an idiot i should have checked if i had posted this yet, i thought i did but obviously not.

firstly, i just wanted to say thank you so much for your kind comments 🥺💕 it really means a lot and i'm glad you like my gifs. also happy lunar new year! i hope you had a great day if you celebrated ~

anywayyy onto colouring and ps help! tbh it really depends on the video you are giffing from. i find the number of adjustment layers required varies between videos. despite this, there are a few things that i always do to try to restore skin but it can get a bit complicated so i've tried to explain things more clearly below the cut!

(before i get started, i just wanted to put it out there that i am by no means a professional, nonetheless, i hope i can be of some help!)

tip #1: start off with a curves adjustment layer (note! this isn’t always necessary unless the lighting is really bad. if the lighting is ok, then you can skip this step and have selective colouring as your first adjustment layer. or go ahead and colour as you normally do.)

curves is a lifesaver when it comes to fixing dodgy lighting. this tool comes in handy especially when you're giffing live stages or comeback/fanmeeting vlives. i use the black colour dropper tool (shown below) and select a point on my image that should be the darkest colour (this could be somewhere on their mic/ headset, their hair, or something in the background). this should hopefully sort out the lighting to some extent and make your gif easier to colour after. in the taeyeon gif screenshot below, i think i selected the darkest colour to be a point on her glasses or her mic. (i can’t remember exactly because i made the gif last summer 😅).

(left: no psd, right: curves adjustment layer) i’m using screenshots from a taeyeon vlive gif as an example because vlives are notorious for having terrible lighting and weird filters. as you can see, the image on the left is the original vlive. the lighting for this video is really bad and the colours are really washed out. whereas on the right, after adding a single curves adjustment layer the colours are slightly more vibrant and there’s a greater contrast.

tip #2: after using curves, i tend to use 2 layers of selective colour. the first layer i use is almost like a baseline for my colouring. i find it's easier to make small adjustments and slowly work my way to the final product. sometimes i might include an additional selective colour layer later on, but this really depends on the video i’m giffing from as some videos will require more/less changes.

in terms of restoring skin, you should focus on changing the % levels of the colours: red, yellow, white and sometimes magentas and neutrals (underlined in image below.)

in general, i find increasing the magenta and yellow % of these colours restore the skin (ex in image below.) you can also increase the black % levels to make the red/yellow colours darker. but if you find the skin is looking unnatural and too red/orange then don't be afraid to slightly decrease their levels and increase the % levels of cyan. i've come across a few skin restoration tutorials that talk about increasing only the red or yellow colour levels, but bear in mind skin tones involve all the primary colours, so adjusting the cyan or blue % levels of the reds/yellows can help the skin look more natural. reducing the black % levels for the reds can also help when your colouring is too strong or you’re giffing from a performance/mv with red lighting.

tip #3: use channel mixer, colour balance and hue/saturation

channel mixer, colour balance and hue/saturation are very similar to selective colour. they're just different ways of adjusting the hue levels of each colour in your image. if you have more questions about these settings then feel free to ask! (this tutorial will be too long if i explain here 😭)

tip #4: remove colours you don't want

you can do this via selective colour or hue/saturation. if there's a colour you don't want/need in your image then just remove it by putting the colour value as 0 or -100%. this helps to increase the quality of your gifs if there are less colours as this will reduce the file size, preventing tumblr from compressing your gif if it is too large.

tip #5: another curves layer

i add another curves layer at the end. but this time instead of using the colour-dropper tools, i adjust the RGB, red, green, and blue settings. (click on the drop-down list and then adjust by moving the curve at the centre point.)

RGB - moving the curve upwards (towards the left, in the north-west direction) makes the image brighter; in the opposite direction it makes the image darker.

Red, Green, Blue - moving the curve upwards makes the image more red/green/blue and vice versa in the opposite direction.

in the image below - i used the red setting as an example. if you move the curve by dragging it from the middle, in the direction of the black arrow, then the image will become have darker red tones. if you move it in the direction of the blue arrow the image will have less red tones.

tip #6: high-quality videos, vapour-synth, under 3mb

it sounds obvious, but the original quality of your video really matters. if you want hq gifs then gif from hq videos 👌 preferably 1080p (and higher) or ts files. with that being said, some 4k facecams' quality are terrible, so you'll notice in my facecam sets i've only giffed recent performances because their quality is better than the older ones.

i use vapour-synth to trim and sharpen my gifs. i wouldn't say this program is necessary but it does help! however, i know of many gif makers who don't use vapour-synth and only use ps, and their gifs are still really hq and sharp. a good alternative is using the smart-sharpen tool in ps and you can also add a gaussian blur layer over your image to make the sharpening look less harsh (just be sure to adjust the opacity% of your gaussian blur layer.)

keep your gifs under 3mb! otherwise, tumblr will compress them and make them look more grainy.

tip #7: refer to your other gifs

to match the colouring in a set, i usually have my other gifs open in ps so that i can refer to them and check if the colours are similar. but honestly, i've found over time it's best not to be too pedantic over having matching, cohesive colouring. you don't need to stress over getting every gif to have similar colouring because it's not worth it. giffing on tumblr should be fun, so don't sweat it and just enjoy creating!

at the end of the day, i hope you can always enjoy creating content and have fun making gifs/gfx 😊 but once again, thank you so much for liking my gifs and i hope this tutorial made sense and was of some help to you 💕

final comparison (left: original no psd; right: final colouring) image below: screenshot of all my adjustment layers

#long post #replies 💌#ps help #im so so sorry this is super late #i cant express enough how stupid i feel for not realising this was sitting in my drafts and i hadnt clicked post after all this time 🤡🤦��‍#i only noticed now bc i was going through posts saved in my drafts 😭

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helloalycia · 3 years

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my happy ending [one] // kara danvers

summary: your crush from work decides to make a move, but she keeps putting off telling you something that you don't realise is actually really important

warning/s: none

author's note: i'm still working on a bunch of stuff but here's some old stuff to tide you over as i do. this is part one to a two-parter! enjoy :)

part two | masterlist

I sketched out some designs at my desk, ideas for some new Instagram and Twitter marketing CatCo we were planning to do. I was in charge of social media marketing at CatCo Worldwide, so things like this were routine at work. What wasn't routine was the cute blonde, Kara, AKA Cat Grant's assistant, approaching my desk with a chirpy smile on her lips.

"Hey, Y/N," she greeted, before setting down a coffee cup in front of me.

I smiled automatically, Kara's presence instantly affecting my mood in a positive way. I glanced at the cup and quirked an eyebrow.

"Hey, Kara. Is this for me?"

She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose adorably. "I was picking up Miss Grant's order and I remembered you said you loved the chocolate orange hot chocolates Noonan's do. So, I got you one."

I felt my cheeks heat up. "Oh, wow, er, thank you. You didn't have to do that."

She shrugged, and I was sure she looked as flustered as I felt. "No biggie."

I took a sip of the hot chocolate and smiled at how good it was, but mostly because of who got it me.

"So, what are you doing?" she asked, walking around my desk and sitting at the edge. She glanced at my sketches and added, "Is that the new fashion post for our social media accounts? They look amazing!"

"Just some sketches, but eventually they will be," I said, before nodding. "And thanks. I just need the photos so I know what I'm working with. Gotta ask the new guy, James... you met him yet?"

Kara nodded. "Yeah, I just bumped into him earlier."

"Can you believe he knows Superman?" I asked with disbelief. "How awesome is that?"

She smiled with amusement. "Extremely awesome."

"Keira!"

Kara lost her smile when Miss Grant called for her, before looking to me apologetically. "I should–"

"It's cool," I said, nodding for her to leave before Miss Grant tracked her down. "Thanks again for the drink."

Kara flashed me a smile. "Anytime. See you later."

I watched her walk away, waving as she glanced over her shoulder. I found myself biting my lip to contain my own smile, feeling butterflies in my stomach.

Kara Danvers, assistant to Cat Grant.

Ever since she began working here, I found myself crushing on the blonde and her cute mannerisms. We were friends, occasionally hanging out outside of work and doing things together. But that's all it was, sadly. I knew she was friends with Winn – best friends, I think – and I also knew that the tech guy was practically in love with her. I didn't know him as well as I knew her, but I knew enough to not want to get in between the two of them. So, Kara Danvers remained a silly little crush.

I got back to my sketches, managing to draft up some mock-ups on Photoshop before my day ended. I was more tired than I thought that evening, ending up falling asleep earlier than usual. Which meant that I missed the biggest news in National City yet – a mystery woman saving a plane from crashing, possibly a new superhero.

I woke up the next morning to a million and one calls and texts from colleagues at CatCo, all expecting me to get on social media to post about this mystery woman. By the time I got to work that morning, I was caught up with everything and in awe at this new superhero we had. It was pretty darn awesome!

The amazement I felt however was short lived, as Cat was all over me when I got to the office, claiming I should have been on top of our social media coverage as soon as it happened. Apparently me falling asleep wasn't a valid enough point to miss it, so I was put to work instantly, working with the photography and marketing department to find some sort of coverage on this mystery hero.

As I was lining up some posts with the limited images available of this hero, I felt a presence stop by my desk and saw it was Kara.

"Morning," she greeted, before glancing at my computer. "Oh, so you heard?"

I chuckled. "Kind of hard not to. It's everywhere." I nodded to the many TVs around the office that were playing reruns of the news coverage from last night.

"Pretty cool, right?" she asked, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Very, but it also means I now have a lot of work to do, especially because I fell asleep when all of this went down," I said, jokingly. "Cat has been all over me about this all morning."

Kara laughed and it was literally the best thing I'd heard all day.

"So, I was actually hoping I could tell you something," she said, an excited smile on her face as she met my eyes.

I felt a little flustered under her gaze and found myself distracting myself with my computer screen momentarily.

"I actually have a lot of things to do right now,” I said regretfully. “Maybe later?”

Her smile faded as she nodded. "Right, no, yeah, that's totally fine. Sorry."

"No, no, don't apologise," I said instantly, feeling a little bad. "I just– if I don't get this done, Cat will kill me."

"I got it, you do this, it's cool," she said reassuringly, offering me a small smile.

"Sorry," I tried, a little sad that there was nothing I could do. I really needed to get this done, despite wanting to spend some more time with Kara.

"It's fine, good luck," she said, giving me a grin and thumbs up before leaving.

I sighed, before getting back to work. Unfortunately, it was a few hours before I could get away from my desk, and I managed to track down Kara at her own desk, remembering she wanted to tell me something.

"Hey," I said, earning her attention.

She looked up from her notebook, smiling when she saw me. "Hey, you manage to get that content done?"

"Just about," I said, before offering a small smile. "Sorry again for blowing you off."

She waved her hand dismissively. "It's fine, honestly."

"I'm free now though," I said optimistically. "Maybe we could grab an early lunch? You can talk to me then?"

Kara pushed a strand of hair behind her ear as she nodded slowly. "That sounds nice actually, yeah."

I felt a little relieved when she agreed. "Great. Well, I'll let you get your things and meet you by the elevator?"

She pursed her lips, suppressing a smile. "You got it."

We ended up getting lunch, as agreed, and it was nice to make it up to her. Though, I never really noticed that she never ended up telling me whatever it was that she wanted to tell me. I was so distracted by how smoothly our lunch was going that I forgot to ask her about it. Maybe if I'd asked, she might have told me the truth. Or she might have made something up and lied. I guess I would never know.

–

Did somebody say tiny umbrella drinks? #gottalovethetinyumbrellas #CatCoFoundation [image here]

I sent yet another tweet and picture out from CatCo's Twitter account, watching as it instantly got responses from everyone. I was at an event that Cat was throwing for all CatCo employees plus special guests. It was an event to raise money for Cat's foundation – a charity for children's hospitals in National City. My job was to live-tweet the heck out of the event, hoping to boost donations online.

It was a formal event, so I was comfortably dressed in some high-waisted pants and a silk blouse, it being my best attempt at 'formal' clothes.

The event wasn't too bad. There was free food and drinks, plus I got to hang out with some of my friends from work whilst doing the bare minimum. I just wasn't an evening person, I guess.

"Hey, stranger," a voice startled me, and I turned around, surprised to see Kara Danvers stood there.

I hadn't seen much of Kara in the past few months, despite working with her. She always seemed to be caught up with Winn, and she'd gotten quite close with the not-so-new guy, James Olsen. I wasn't stalking her or anything, but I began to notice when I would try to make plans with her like we used to – little things like grabbing coffee or going to watch a film after work – and she would decline or have plans already. Then I'd see her constantly being surrounded by Winn and James, so I figured she'd just made new friends.

"Kara," I breathed out, smiling as I took in her appearance. "Hey."

I hadn't seen her at all this evening and I was sure she just showed up because I definitely would have noticed how good she looked in that fitted red dress of hers.

"You look really nice," she said, looking me up and down before meeting my eyes.

"Thanks," I said, hoping my cheeks didn't look as warm as they felt. "So do you. You liking the event?"

Kara looked around, nodding. "It's beautiful."

"You did a good job," I said, giving her a knowing smile. "I know you planned it."

"This was all Cat, I just–"

"Kara, everybody knows you plan the events around here," I told her with a chuckle. "It's okay."

She smiled to herself, looking down. "Right." It went quiet for a moment before she looked up and said, "Do you want to dance?"

I was a little taken aback by her confidence, but nonetheless, I found myself nodding. She smiled as she held out her hand. I took it, feeling goosebumps from how soft her hands were.

She led me to the dance-floor, stopping and resting a hand on my waist, the other holding my hand. I nervously rested an arm on her shoulder as I focused on swaying to the music playing rather than stepping on her toes.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in a while," she said after a moment. I looked up and saw her blue eyes staring right through me.

"Well, we've both been busy," I attempted to give a reason.

She shook her head, smiling apologetically. "No, it's not that... it's my fault. I've been hanging out with James and Winn so much lately that I've been neglecting you."

I laughed a little awkwardly. "Kara, it's okay. You don't need to feel bad for having other friends. I mean, you don't have any obligations to me. They're your best friends. Of course you're gonna hang out with them."

She pursed her lips and I admittedly felt nervous as she stared at me, her expression unreadable. She was a little taller than me which didn't help with me trying to keep my emotions in check. She was extremely close to me as we swayed to the music and I could just about focus on it as she continued to stare at me.

"What if I want to have obligations to you?" she asked, and I almost thought she was joking until I realised that she wasn't.

I wanted to understand what she meant, but I didn't get to ask because she leaned forward and closed the gap between us with her lips. I was surprised at her boldness, pinning Kara for the shy type. Nonetheless, I returned the kiss, melting into her embrace and warmth.

We pulled apart soon enough, myself a little flustered from the kiss. My lips were still tingling as she met my eyes, a small smile tugging at her lips.

"I hope that was okay," she muttered.

I nodded slowly, still surprised. "Yeah, it was."

My stomach was doing somersaults as I mirrored her smile; the gala was merely a blur in the background as I realised Kara Danvers had just kissed me. I definitely wouldn't have thought she felt something for me other than friendship.

"I'm assuming you want this to go somewhere," I said, a little stupidly.

She laughed melodiously as she nodded, intertwining her fingers in mine. "That's the plan, yes. But actually, er..."

"Second thoughts already?" I joked, though inside I was genuinely believing she might be second-guessing her decision, judging from her sudden change of facial expression.

"No, no," she said, shaking her head. "It's just, I feel like we should talk first. I have to tell you something. Before this goes any further."

She sounded quite affected by whatever it was, so I nodded, losing my smile for a moment.

"Of course, you can tell me whatever you need to," I reassured her, giving her hand a little squeeze. "Do you want to talk now or after?"

She opened her mouth to reply, but tilted her head to the side as she grew distracted. I waited patiently, expecting her to snap back into reality, but she seemed caught up with something else.

"Kara? You okay?" I asked, growing a little concerned.

"What? Yeah, sorry," she said, shaking her head before meeting my eyes with apologetic ones. "I'm sorry, I have to go for a minute. I just realised I have to check on the desserts for the party."

"Oh, okay." I nodded, giving her a small smile. "You can tell me whatever it is afterwards then?"

She smiled, nodding. "Yeah. I'll be back after, I swear."

I believed her and watched as she let go of my hand, already in a rush to leave. I wondered what was so time-sensitive about desserts, but decided not to question it as I realised the very obvious and surprising fact that Kara liked me.

As she turned to leave, she quickly turned back to me and moved forward, pressing a haste kiss to my cheek. My face heated up as she flashed me a beautiful smile, before moving to leave.

Just danced with the most beautiful girl in the room #CatCoFoundation

I looked up and saw Kara by the door, about to leave, but she stopped when her phone vibrated. After glancing at the screen, she paused and a wide smile graced her lips. Her eyes lifted and she gave me a knowing look before disappearing. I found myself smiling like an idiot the rest of the night.

I guess I should have realised, once again, that Kara never ended up telling me whatever it was that she wanted to tell me. I was so caught up in the fact that she returned my feelings that I never remembered to ask her what it was that she wanted to say. Maybe if I'd remembered, things would have ended up a little differently.

–

Kara and I went on some dates, our relationship blossoming naturally. It was the best thing to happen to me at the time – finding someone who I thought truly understood me, and vice versa. We had inside jokes, an 'our song', a favourite restaurant we frequented; we were happy and it was amazing. I was really falling for her. I thought she was perfect. Nothing could change that, I thought. She was everything I wanted.

"What are you thinking about in that pretty little head of yours?" Kara asked, tilting her head to look at me.

It was moments like this when I was in awe of her beauty, inside and out. She was comfortable, with her hair tied in a loose ponytail and her face makeup-free. Her glasses were balanced on her nose as she stared at me with an easygoing smile and sparkling eyes. I felt a sudden overwhelming flood of love for her as she waited for me to reply.

"I'm in love with you," I blurted out uncontrollably.

She raised her eyebrows slightly, mouth agape as she realised what I said.

"I'm sorry," I said, shaking my head. "That was random. And weird. Too soon, right? I freaked you out. I'm sorry."

Kara blinked several times, straightening up as she shook her head. "No, it's not, it's..." I watched her with anticipation, as she found her words. "It's fine. It's... I feel the same way."

It was my turn to be surprised now. I raised my eyebrows, a smile forming on my lips. "You do?"

Kara pursed her lips, eyes flickering up to meet mine. "Yeah."

I breathed out. "I'm really happy to hear that, especially because I thought I freaked you out, but like, I feel like something is bothering you, Kara."

Resting a hand on hers, I squeezed it gently. She offered me a small, troubled smile and I wondered what was occupying her thoughts.

"I trust you," she said gently. "I do. I love you. And I... I want you to know that I think what we have is amazing. I've never been happier."

"This sounds like a breakup," I joked, chuckling nervously. She wouldn't break up with me right after saying 'I love you', right?

"No, no, it's not!" she reassured immediately, taking any doubt from my mind. She leaned forward and cupped my cheek gently. "I'm not breaking up with you, silly."

"Good to know," I said playfully, resting my hand on hers and moving it to my lips, kissing it softly. "What is it though? What's on your mind? You can tell me anything you know."

She nodded. "I know... I can. I will. Now."

I stayed quiet, watching as she had some inner conflict going on. What was bothering her so much?

"I want to say that I–"

But she was cut off by her phone ringing. She rolled her eyes and I offered her an approving smile as she reached to answer it.

"Alex, hey, what's up?"

I sat back, keeping ahold of Kara's hand as she listened to Alex on the phone.

"Are you sure?" Kara said, concern in her voice.

I wondered what was going on, as the blonde was scrunching her brows together with worry. Her hand slipped from mine as she stood up, pacing.

"Okay, I'll be there now," she finished, before hanging up.

"Hey, that sounded serious, is everything okay?" I asked, standing up, too.

Kara nodded, already in the process of grabbing her things. "Yeah, sorry, it's just some family stuff with Alex. I should get going and help her out." She stopped moving and turned to face me, a distracted frown on her face. "I'm sorry. I know we were supposed to spend the evening together and I wanted to tell you something, but–"

"It's fine, Kara, you can just tell me another time," I cut her off, moving forward and rubbing her arm gently. "I hope everything is okay with Alex. I'll just see you at work tomorrow, yeah?"

Kara smiled tightly, nodding. "You're too understanding. It's annoyingly admirable."

I chuckled, stepping forward and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. She had a few inches on me, so I had to step on my tip toes to reach, but seeing the little smile appear on her lips when I did made it worth it.

"Don't get stressed about whatever it is you wanna tell me," I added, meeting her eyes. "I'm sure it'll be fine. I love you and I'm really lucky to have you in my life. I don't think anything will ruin that. Just... remember that, okay?"

Kara nodded, her eyes flickering to the floor. "Thank you, Y/N."

"I'll leave you to it," I said, moving away to grab my coat and put on my shoes. "Good luck with whatever is up, and see you tomorrow."

As I was about to leave, her voice called out, "I love you, too."

I smiled widely at her before leaving, feeling lightweight because of all the love that was bubbling around inside of me. Once again, Kara managed to distract me from the fact that she had something big to tell me, as when I followed up the next day, she assured me that she just wanted me to know that she sometimes moved too fast in relationships and she didn't want me to feel like I was being rushed.

I believed her, blinded by what I thought was my happy ending, and that was that.

#kara danvers x you #kara danvers #kara danvers x reader #kara danvers imagine #supergirl #supergirl imagine #supergirl x reader #melissa benoist

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isfjmel-phleg · 2 years

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January 2022 Books

This year’s goal is 250 books again, including rereads.

The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate

This was a gift from a friend, and I enjoyed it much more than I expected. It’s simply written, but quite moving. I can see why it won the Newbery (besides being sad, which is of course a Newbery requirement).

The movie, on the other hand, managed to remove the animal cruelty from a story that’s...primarily about animal cruelty? Rather frustrating.

Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens / Peter and Wendy by J. M. Barrie (partial reread)

Peter and Wendy was a staple of my childhood, but Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens was new to me. It didn’t offer much in terms of story, but it was interesting to observe Barrie developing the character. My edition also had explanatory notes, which were wonderful. A lot of references, like name-dropping characters from Treasure Island and the hints of Hook’s Etonian background, went over my head as a kid, and having the full context enriched the story.

The It’s a Wonderful Life Book by Jeanine Basinger

Recently bought this for my mom, who loves It’s a Wonderful Life, and then ILLed it for myself. Highly informative about the background of the film and includes the short story that inspired, the final shooting draft, and excerpts from earlier drafts.

Behind the Attic Wall by Sylvia Cassedy

An example of the “orphan with issues goes to live with uncaring relatives in a spooky house” genre, with the addition of creepy talking and moving dolls, whose true identities only make them creepier. I was riveted.

Sister of the Bride by Beverly Cleary (reread)

Cleary is always an engaging storyteller, even when she’s writing about 50s/60s Teenager Problems, although I can’t say this is one of my favorites of hers. (Younger teenage sister gets over-invested in her older sister’s upcoming wedding and what it means for her own romantic prospects--majorly could not relate, but that’s a me problem.)

Fifteen and Henry and the Clubhouse by Beverly Cleary

I much prefer Cleary’s books about children (it was delightful to encounter the Quimby sisters again!) to her books about teenagers.

She, the Adventuress by Dorothy Crayder

My first impression was “wow, this was definitely written in the 70s,” but the unique style eventually drew me in. Quite a fun read.

Because of Winn-Dixie and The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo (reread)

I hadn’t read any DiCamillo in years and forgot how much I enjoyed these books. Miraculous Journey had me crying by the end. I don’t often cry while reading.

Knight’s Castle by Edward Eager

I think this one would have meant a lot more if I had any familiarity with Ivanhoe. But judging from what I’ve absorbing from all those Ivanhoe posts that cropped up a while back, Eager seems to have been rather unfair to at least one character in his reimagining.

Rebecca’s War by Ann Finlayson

Surprisingly complex. Rebecca’s dynamic with the young English nobleman occupying her house was well-drawn. Had the good sense to stop short at “maybe someday when they’re older” instead of working in a romance--much appreciated.

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

I suspect this one might improve on rereads. As a reimagining of The Jungle Books, it was intriguing.

The Diddakoi, The Dolls’ House, The Dragon of Og, The Fairy Doll, Great Grandfather’s House, Impunity Jane, Little Plum, Miss Happiness and Miss Flower, Operation Sippacik, and The Rocking Horse Secret by Rumer Godden

All varying degrees of charmingness, some better than others. The real standout here is The Dolls’ House, which raised interesting questions (the emphasis on dolls’ inherent lack of autonomy speaks a lot, I think, to what it’s like to be a child).

The Secrets of Winterhouse and The Winterhouse Mysteries by Ben Guterson

I had liked but wasn’t utterly captivated by Winterhouse, but I ended up enjoying these sequels more than I expected. They aren’t perfect (the protagonist’s friend is disappointingly underdeveloped) but are surprisingly thoughtful in their themes. (Early in the second book, I was having some issues with a mean-spirited streak in the protagonist’s behavior, and then a respected in-universe adult actually addressed the issue and gave her practical life advice on not being a jerk. Do you realize how seldom that happens in a genre prone to Protagonist-Centered Morality? I was impressed.)

Goose Chase by Patricia Kindl

This one has distinction of allowing a character who started as a dislikable caricature to grow and for the protagonist to rethink her judgment of him, but other than that...I hardly remember this one.

The Golden Name Day by Jennie D. Lindquist

Cute and beautifully illustrated, if somewhat underdeveloped.

Miss Spitfire by Sarah Miller

Miller impressed me with the scope of her research in The Lost Crown and brings the same attention to fact and detail to her fictional account of Annie Sullivan--while still telling an engaging story. (She even has the integrity to point out where she used an anachronism and why she chose to include it!)

Wet Magic by E. Nesbit

Not one of Nesbit’s best, but it was an interesting comparison with L. Frank Baum’s The Sea Fairies, which was published two years before and also features adventures with mermaids.

Eugene Onegin by Alexander Pushkin

An odd choice amid all the children’s books read this month, but I’d like to foray into Russian literature this year, and this was both on hand at my library and a quick read. (I read a 1964 translation by Eugene Mark Kayden, because that’s what we had.) A bizarre story, but I did like it.

Freaky Friday by Mary Rodgers

Quite possibly one of the most 1970s books I’ve ever read.

Enemy Brothers, The Reb and the Redcoats, and Tenthragon by Constance Savery (reread)

The first two were read because they’re a joy to revisit, and Tenthragon was for analytical purposes (and wonderful in its own way).

Pauline by Margaret Storey (reread)

Another reread of a stand-out from last year’s books.

The Family Tree by Margaret Storey

While not a lot happens in this book in terms of action, I was fascinated by the orphaned protagonist’s building a connection to her estranged family by piecing together information about their past--and opening the door for righting old wrongs.

Marianne Dreams and Marianne and Mark by Catherine Storr (reread)

I’ve gushed about Marianne Dreams before, but Marianne and Mark, even after a reread, is...kind of baffling? It’s great to have more of these characters and for them to finally meet in real life, but setting it several years after MD, with Marianne as a teenager with very teenage preoccupations and no overtly fantastical elements (it’s ambiguous how much she remembers her childhood dream adventures with Mark, and he doesn’t seem to remember anything) is downright jarring. The tone has shifted into bleakness, Marianne is making terrible life choices, and Mark doesn’t show up until two-thirds of the way through a fairly short book.

Also, it’s not a big deal, but we never do find out Marianne’s surname and not knowing is bugging me.

Thursday by Catherine Storr

A Tam Lin retelling, which means it’s rather bizarre. Storr peppers the text with all kinds of profundity, which is amazing, and the family relationship is realistic and touching (a teenage protagonist who likes and mostly gets along with her parents!). There’s some veering off into very young adult topics that took me by surprise. I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it, but I did not dislike it.

Christmas with the Chrystals and Other Stories by Noel Streatfeild

I ILLed this one for its inclusion of the short story “What Happened to Pauline, Petrova and Posy.” Aside from that piece and the title story, though, this is a rather pointless collection of Christmas-themed excerpts from Streatfeild’s other books.

The Essential It’s a Wonderful Life by Michael Willian

Had some detailed information and diagrams that were interesting (like a floor plan of what we see of the Baileys’ house and a map of Bedford Falls’s main street), but I had hoped for more thorough exploration of the scene-by-scene analysis, and the information sometimes seemed more tailored to the author’s particular interests than inclusive of all aspects that go into filmmaking. (For instance, the make and history of Sam Wainwright’s car, which appears briefly in one scene, is lovingly elaborated on, but there’ s not a word on, say, how costuming is used to convey character or the passing of time.)

The Castle in the Attic and The Battle for the Castle by Elizabeth Winthrop (partial reread)

I hadn’t read the sequel. It ended up being rather a slog.

#random personal stuff #far more progress than last month #because I decided to concentrate on the light and fun this time #and read a lot of rather short children's books

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dabiboy · 3 years

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Now is dad!hawks turn👀 I had this on my drafts and since the hype for soft things is strong, I'm posting it🥺 Again, sorry for any grammar mistake! 😅

Birthday

Hawks was away for two weeks, his hero job asked a lot from him, and he couldn't say no. However, he did ask to be home on a specific day, and also asked not to be bothered. There were other heroes, they could take care of the city for one day. That special day. He had arrived at two am, and after a lazy make out session with you he forgot about the world and fell asleep quickly than the expected. Keigo wanted to wake up earlier, but the tiredness from the mission and the events from last night kept him in bed until loud and happy steps woke him up.

"Dad you're back!" Haru yelled, jumping on top of him. "Today's the day!" The smile on his face was brighter than the sun outside.

"Good morning to you too, kid" he rubbed his eyes, and then looked back at him with a faked curious expression. "The day? What's so special about it?" Haru's expression changed dramatically, his wings dropping as well and his missing teeth making him look even cuter.

"Did you forget?" He asked lowly.

"Forget about what?" The child's eyes were getting watery, and Keigo decided it was time to stop. Quickly he tossed Haru to the empty side of the bed, tickling his stomach with a big smile on his face "I could never forget about my lil' nugget's birthday" Haru was now laughing loudly at the tickles, and at his dad's silly laugh. You smiled in the kitchen at the laughs that light up every one of your days. "And you're six now! So that means..." Hawks whispered, as if it was a secret between the two of them.

"You're teaching me to fly!"

"I'm teaching you to fly!"

It was incredibly how similar they were, same excitment and dramatism, same everything. And sometimes, Keigo forgot he was the father and was more like a brother to Haru when it came to small things. Or when you caught the two of them eating fried chicken at two am while watching horror movies. Movies that were forbidden to Haru because he had nightmares. And that meant that he was going to get in your bed, and sleeping with to winged boys was not so comfortable. However, you loved them with your life.

"I'm happy your back" Haru said, holding Keigo tightly.

"I'm happy too. I missed you so, so much my chicken wing" And now, Keigo left lots of messy kisses on Haru's cheek, forehead and head.

"Dad stop!" He said laughing, trying to get free from Keigo's grip.

"Ok, ok." He stoped, the smile still plastered on his face. "Wanna go to the rooftop?" Keigo lifted his eyebrows, and before Haru could answer you interrupted them.

"No one is flying with an empty stomach" You were at the kitchen putting a cake on a plate, together with some juice, milk, cereal and other stuff. There was a candle on the cake, ready to be blown by the birthday boy.

"Mommy!" Haru exclaimed and sat on the bed quickly, his little wings flapping in excitment.

After blowing the candle and having some of the breakfast you had made, Haru got off the bed and ran to the bathroom so he could shower and start his so awaited lesson.

"Please be careful, don't make him jump off the building just like that" you begged looking at Keigo with a worried expression.

"Who do you take me for?" He said putting a hand on his chest, looking offended.

"You get excited to easily" a laugh let out your lips so then you could kiss his chin.

"Yeah, I think I do" he whispered, resting his palm on your cheek, pulling you in for a languid kiss that tasted like strawberry cake. "He's showering" Keigo suggested with a smile.

"Mhm, maybe we could-"

"Dad I'm ready!" Haru yelled, and you laughed and Hawks's expression.

"Why the fuck is he so fast"

"Maybe because his father is 'the man who's a bit too fast'" you immitated him, and after kissing you again he got up.

"Come on dad!" Another yell.

"Alright, alright! Let me take a shower first"

Keigo looked at you over his shoulder so he could give you a smile before entering the bathroom. Now it was your turn to get up and help Haru with his outfit for the day, just to make sure he hasn't stole Keigo's goggles again. Because now he had his own, but that was his birthday present and he was going to find out once they were at the rooftop.

#hawks x reader #hawks headcanons #mha hawks #my hero academia hawks #hawks #boku no hero academia hawks #hawksbnha #bnha hawks #keigo x y/n #keigo takami imagine #bnha keigo #keigo takami #mha takami keigo #takami keigo x reader

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somesaycosmo · 3 years

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laurence, the first vicar - an analysis

hi! this is future marie, when i'm going back through and finalizing my draft of this post. this was originally meant to just be an analysis of laurence's song, but it turned into more than that, so just bear with it!

"oh look it's my favorite boss soundtrack in soulsborne! thankfully, bloodborne is a very simple game with straightforward lore, and the lyrics of its tracks are similarly straightforward, so there's not much to analyze here." -a quote from an alternate universe marie who was blessed with a game that didn't give her frenzy

"bloodborne's tracks have lyrics?" you might ask - and yes, in fact, they do! many of them have choral lyrics in latin, including mr laurence "i forgot the sacred adage" lastname's track here.

before we start, please listen to the song, if only because it's very good

this post is using the translated lyrics from this bloodborne wiki, while taking some liberties with the interpretation based on the game's lore. i do not know latin, but if anyone does, i'd love for them to hit me up. i'm also going to specifically tag @rococospade-main, both to shout them out for being great to discuss bloodborne lore with (it's where i got the idea to write this post)

as always, lore starts below the line

so the song starts with 4 lines, as follows

Children, know that if you will abide by the sacred rite with great commitment There will be a reward through the Holy Blood You will be rewarded with the hidden Holy Blood Or, maybe I shall lose my humanity through the Holy Blood

already starting off strong with the "questioning one's faith" vibes, eh, larry?

"children" might be in reference to actual children, or it might be the thing priests do, where they're called "father" and stuff (can you tell i'm not christian?) with laurence in this case being the "father" and the disciples of the church being his "children"

the reward from the holy blood is, of course, ascension, which we all know everyone from byrgenwerth strived for, because they're losers. "hidden holy blood" might be in reference to ebrietas bein all locked up in the chalice dungeons?

"maybe i shall lose my humanity through the holy blood" is, based on how early it is in the song, likely about laurence looking forward; loss of humanity is seen as a good thing, because it means ascension. the dramatic irony of this is of course obvious, considering the song plays when we're beating the shit out of laurence's fallen and bestial form - because loss of humanity can also mean other things, it turns out.

We honor you with the Blood Yet you judge this as blasphemy You are obsessed with this mystery And you shall be overcome by bestiality

We honor you with the Blood Yet you judge this as blasphemy We are hindered by this mystery Water does not achieve success

now laurence is speaking to the gods instead of to his followers. "we honor you with blood / yet you judge this as blasphemy" is likely him pleading to the gods. the description of the defiled chalice reads, "Curses are caused by inciting the anger of the Great Ones, and used to hex others." this paints a picture of the gods as somewhat vengeful; it makes sense that the beastly scourge, then, would be hypothesized to be a plague cast upon humanity for some sin they've committed, and laurence would know best what exactly that sin is.

"you are obsessed with this mystery / and you shall be overcome by bestiality" seems out of place in the rest of this section, given it's the only one that refers to humanity as "you," but i've taken this as it being the gods replying to laurence in the song, with the mystery likely being "how to ascend to godhood". this is the blasphemy you have committed, they say, and you shall be overcome by bestiality

"we are hindered by this mystery" once again, we're talking from laurence's perspective. firstly, laurence for the first time admits that obsession with ascension might not be so great, actually.

"water does not achieve success" this could be interpreted as talking about the whole "great bodies of water are often bulwarks" thing discussed in the lake and sea runes, laurence sort of saying "protecting ourselves from the truth does nothing to help us ascend," with water, effectively, being "safety." to go further, in my personal interpretation, this is more about the comparison of blood and water. you know that old saying, "blood is thicker than water"? that came to mind immediately while reading these lyrics, given the constant talking about blood in the song (and in the game). perhaps here laurence is comparing water to blood with water, water being "safety" and blood being "success" (ascension). to reference the item description for the white church set, "They believe that medicine is not a means of treatment but rather a method for research, and that some knowledge can only be obtained by exposing oneself to sickness." this will come up later.

By the Gods, friend Be afraid By the Gods, friend The Blood Be afraid You are right to

this is familiar! this could be willem speaking, this could be laurence speaking to someone else, or this could be laurence speaking to himself (my writer's brain imagines him muttering this quietly to himself in despair as his mental health and questioning of his faith declines) - due to "you are right to [fear the blood]," i lean towards him talking to himself as if talking to willem, perhaps wishing he had actually feared the old blood, or saying that willem is better off for doing so. regardless, it is incredibly reminiscent of the sacred adage ("fear the old blood" etc etc we all know it by heart at this point), and is likely supposed to be that.

It will be a majestic festivity By the Holy Blood So come, this sweet wine O defiled juice (this has to mean "wine" or "drink" i refuse to believe laurence would refer to the holy blood as a juice. i will not allow it)

this one, oddly, seems to indicate a toneshift - i would argue it's a result of his spiraling mental state. throughout the song he's questioning his faith and his actions, chanting his old mentor's sacred adage to himself; his life up to this point is a life of success while the cure and path to ascension he was peddling to yharnam turns them into horrific beasts. so he ends up doubling down on the religious fervor he started this endeavor with. this delves more into headcanon territory, so bear with me for a second:

have you ever thought about why laurence drops the beast's embrace rune?

laurence, the first vicar, the first cleric beast, drops the rune that allows you to enter a state of controlled beasthood whenever you want (provided you use a beastly weapon, of course). isn't that odd? shouldn't he drop something that, like, increases the amount blood vials heal you? maybe super duper extra special communion +6? why would he drop that rune, of all things, especially when the game already has a named character they could've put in to drop it (that being irreverent izzy)?

let's look at the item description.

After the repeated experiments in controlling the scourge of beasts, the gentle "Embrace" rune was discovered.

When its implementation failed, the "Embrace" became a forbidden rune, but this knowledge became a foundation of the Healing Church.

now i am not necessarily going to suggest that laurence dreamed up the beast's embrace rune himself - it could make sense, but that isn't necessary for the rest of what i'm about to say, which is this: the last part of the song is laurence giving into beasthood voluntarily.

perhaps he believed so strongly in the blood of ebrietas taking him to ascension that he decided beasthood must be it, must be the next step for humanity; perhaps, in a final move of desperation, he tried to control beasthood by experimenting on himself with this rune; or perhaps he had already imbibed so much of the old blood that he couldn't control his need to spill the blood of others.

personally, i lean toward the second interpretation. let's look at the description of laurence's (human) skull:

Skull of Laurence, first vicar of the Healing Church. In reality he became the first cleric beast, and his human skull only exists within the Nightmare.

The skull is a symbol of Laurence's past, and what he failed to protect. He is destined to seek his skull, but even if he found it, it could never restore his memories.

firstly, i'd just like to point out the irony in the statement "he is destined to seek his skull"; he spends his human life seeking ascension, and when he achieves metamorphosis, he is cursed to spend that form trying to find his humanity again, mindless, lost in a nightmare.

secondly, and more to the point, let's look at the line "a symbol of laurence's past, and what he failed to protect." examining this item for its symbolism is fairly clear - it's a relic of laurence's humanity, and that's exactly what he failed to protect, the humanity of himself and others. this description leads me to believe he wanted to protect humanity, but failed.

a lot of interpretations of him have him as this truly evil person who was just deceiving the city of yharnam for his own personal gain, but honestly, i don't buy that. that's not what bloodborne is about. i mean bloodborne is and can be about a lot of things, and i could ascribe dozens of basic thematic interpretations of it off the top of my head, but characterization that simple doesn't fit bloodborne (and, frankly, it's not tragic enough for miyazaki).

so, with all that combined, why do i believe that laurence branded himself with beast's embrace in an attempt to further research on the control of beasthood, so as to protect humanity? well, to go back to an item description from earlier, some knowledge can only be obtained by exposing oneself to sickness.

thank you for reading.

#bloodborne #bloodborne lore #laurence the first vicar #that one post that's like catholicism is problematic but catholicism is sexy #song analysis?? i guess??#lore analysis definitely

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tokoyamisstuff · 3 years

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Betrothed Ch. 6 - Illumi Zoldyck x Reader

Chapter 6: Bold

Summary: Two pretty unusual family meetings, but one of them lacks a happy end.

Warnings: Angst, Family Drama.

Words: ~4300

Story Masterlist

A/N: Tumblr accidentally posted the unfinished draft a few days ago. Sorry for the confusion! As a treat, you get a very long chapter! (:

Before you were married, Illumi was rarely at home.

He had no one to come home to anyway, let alone someone who cared.

Anyway, this was only one of many things you had changed.

These times, whenever he left, it was only for a good reason like missions, training or caring for his siblings. Sometimes family conferences you were allowed to attend as well, yet not to talk.

Whenever he got home, it felt so cozy and peaceful.

Like he was welcomned and safe here - unlike anything he knew before.

Your home would always smell like scented candles, the many flowers you had planted at the balconry, and whatever you were cooking at the time.

It was very lovely and kinda cheesily decorated by now. Most of the things were stuff you asked Illumi to bring home from his missions, but lately he got you anything he thought you'd like.

Of course you were grateful for everything. It meant he took the time and actually think about what you'd appreciate!

Occasionally, you’d bring home injured animals you found in the forrest surrounding Kurokoo mountain. Sometimes your husband reluctantly assisted you, even though he found kindness futile - he just couldn’t say no to your begging eyes, so be it.

From you, he got love and care in return for his efforts. But a wild animal? Well, if he thought about it, he consdiered himself lacking a real consciousness just as much as the pets you kept.

One day, he’ll understand why people help each other without wanting something back - you promised him. Even though he always emphasized that saving such small lives won’t redeem him anyway.

Yes, the weight of his sins was sure massive - especially now that it all broke down on him, suffering under his newfound sympathy.

You swiped through your phone, adoring all the photos you persuaded him to take together.

It filled your heart with joy to notice every small change he underwent:

He'd run himself a bath from time to time, buy sweets or other things to try out, and spent his free time reading or wandering the estate's forrest instead of thoughtlessly staring into the void.

And for the more nasty things, well...let’s just say Illumi is a quick learner. And you were glad that he began taking the initiative and try out things he may enjoy.

Your husband was more and more developing a personality.

"She's so pretty!"

"Yeah, right?" you proudly commanded the owl to come back, and she immediately landed on your lap. "Her name is Luna."

“She was a gift from big bro Illumi, right?” Your familiar had grown strong very fast, yet it's claws never hurt you. Sometimes you almost forgot that Luna was a dangerous animal rather than a cuddly pet. “Yes, she is!”

"Maybe we can play in the forrest some day. I just need some time to convince your parents."

Alluka was sitting on a chair next to you, cheerfully petting the patient bird. "Thanks, big sis!"

Illumi's little sister was probably the only normal person in this building. No nen, no assassin training either, and a loving nature.

If only there wasn't-

"Y/N!" Oh no. Your husband was back earlier than you expected. "Did you bail her out again?!"

"Big bro!" the little girl cheered, jumping down the stair and wobbling to his direction.

There was not the slightest hint of hate inside of her. Even though she was alone all the time, she was blissfully unaware about her own family resenting her.

"Illumi!" That was the first time you actually raised your voice against him. "Take.down.the. needle. Right now!"

You kept Alluka from getting closer to Illumi, defendingly wrapping your arms around her.

God knows what he'd do...

"Then get that thing out of my face."

Actually, you didn't want to fight in front of a child, but Alluka needed constant superveilance . "How can you be so cruel? She's your sister!"

"Did you make a wish?"

"Of course not! I used my nen to get her out unnoticed, so she could spent some time like a normal child. I would've brought her back tonight. That's all, really! I promise!"

Suddenly, you felt a foreign, powerful aura under your palms.

Damn it.

You forgot her last wish was a hug, which was exactly what you gave her right now.

"Aye."

"That's enough." Illumi already had his needles prepared, infusing them with nen. "I'll end this right here."

You knew he didn't mean it like this. He was afraid of Nanika's powers, and even if this wouldn't end in a disaster, his parents would punish you for your reckless actions.

"Nanika?"

The girl answered, her blackened orbs obediantly glaring at you. "Aye?"

"Y/N" Illumi almost growled, still hesistant. "Know your place."

"Give Illumi a hug."

Baffled, Illumi's needles disappeared into thin air. The girl didn't even reach up to the tall man's thorso, rather embracing one of his legs.

She was so small and weak and fragile - and for the first time, Illumi was able to acknowledge the affection his sister felt for him.

"See?" you calmly explained, now hugging him as well. "Nanika is not evil. Only the people's wish are."

"...she's all alone" he spoke to himself, trying to at least logically understand the situation. "Just like you when I'm gone."

He didn't get it.

Hard enough to understand why you were caring so much about him, but Alluka? The sibling he always despised, insulted, abused, and locked away?

There were still so many things he didn't know yet.

"Well, if it's only the two of you, and I'm supervising..." he mumbled, kneeling down to the girl's height, "Then I guess I can promise you a few liberties."

Alluka's face and aura were back to normal, her glimmering eyes blinking happily at her brother, who was absentmindedly petting her hair.

"Great!" You clasped your hands together, disappearing in the kitchen. "Let's make a hot chocolate for you guys!"

Quickly, you reappeared to the two sitting on the sofa with an awkard distance, until you wrapped them in a blanket.

Illumi sat in middle of you two, deeply buried in thought while you and Alluka were watching TV until she fell asleep.

"I'll bring her back now" you whispered softly, but Illumi already cradled the snoring girl into his arms. "No. I will."

For a second, you were taken aback, unsure about his intentions - but you wanted to believe in him, so you stayed quiet about your apprehensions.

"She's cute, right?" you noticed as Illumi got a strand of hair out of her face. He held her with such great care and insecurity, it was a truly cute sight.

"Dunno. I know the definition of cute, but I don't think I really understand it."

"You are cute, for example." Placing a wet kiss on his cheek, you waved him goodbye as he walled out the door - but in the frame, he stopped.

"You're changing so many things at once."

"For better or worse?"

Illumi wouldn't turn around to look at you, instead watching Alluka's soundly sleeping face.

"I don't know. We'll see."

When Illumi took longer than expected, panic began to rise inside of you.

Did his parents find out? Due to your powers this should basically be impossible, but still-

"Alluka wanted me to stay and play with her" Illumi's voice appeared behind your back, making you jump a little.

So that's why he took so long.

"Was it fun?"

"I'm not a good brother" he murmured, "Not to her or any of them."

He remembered the time he got Kalluto a kimono you picked out for him, as a gift.

“You’ve changed” the boy said back then, and the confusion in his eyes made Illumi painfully aware that the child was close to become just as inhuman as he was.

And he was the one who teached his siblings to be that way.

Your husband sat on the edge of the bed, with you already laying inside. He buried his face into his hands, seemingly distressed.

Yes, it was fun. Even though he didn't know how to properly entertain a child, Alluka seemed to enjoy her brother's attention inconditionally - just like you did.

Was that love?

"You just tried to protect your family, Lumi" you cooed, massaging his tensed shoulders.

"What about yours?" he suddenly asked, turning to you with a stony expression.

"I, uh-"

"Do you miss them?" Seems like he was afraid to lose you.

You tugged on his arm until he'd finally let himself fall into the bed, and you put an arm and leg around him, effectively trapping him into your hold.

"Of course I do. But this is my home now."

"And they're nice people?" he wondered, since your parents were assassins too.

He laid his head onto your chest, trying for your heartbeat to lull him to sleep.

"They are...special. Strict but loving. I think all parents fuck up their children somehow. But I still love them."

Both of you had already closed your eyes, his cold skin feeling refreshing on your warm one.

"Then let's meet them" Illumi suggested as his hand ran across your bodyline, before he stopped himself with a tender kiss on your skin.

"I want to know what other families are like."

Only a week later, you were allowed to leave the Zoldyck estate for the first time. Wether it was because of Illumi’s curiosity or maybe that he knew you missed your family, it didn’t matter.

Two different worlds.

Your family was living in the midst of the small town, loved by the inhabitants. Being honorable head hunters who mainly killed wanted criminals and acting as protectors of the city, you had kind of a reputation.

So it was no wonder everyone you saw greeted you with great respect, yet also as if you were never gone.

That was what a real home must feel like, Illumi thought as he watched you casually talk to anyone who recognized you while both of you wandered the main street.

“They sure think highly of you” he deducted out loud, seeing how anyone was smiling and cheering at you.

“Well...” Flustered, you rubbed the back of your head as you kept on walking, “I’ve grown up in between those people. Of course they know me! That’s all.”

“Mhh” he murmured, still eyeing everyone quite suspecting. This was your first day outisde the manor, and your husband would be damned if something would happen to you.

“There it is!” Already running ahead, you pointed at the tallest building of the town - your birthplace.

“Y/N Y/L/N” a familiar voice behind you spoke, trying way too hard to keep a straight face.

Turning around, you saw all of your siblings gathered at one spot. Of course you knew they had followed you this whole time, due to your nen - but it was still a pleasant surprise. “You guys!”

Giving each one of them a wholeheartedly hug, you immediately began to chatter about all kinds of things. You haven’t seen each other for a while, and you wanted to know everything.

“Better tell me next time” Illumi abruptly cut you off, and only now you realized the needles in between his fingers. “I almost killed them.”

Oh. So he noticed them too.

Well, your family had it worse, so they just laughed it off.

“So this is your husband, huh?” They didn’t dare speak his name - the family was too infamous, and not in a positive way. it wouldn’t really gain you the good kind of attention. “I thought you’d be more...intimidating.”

All of your siblings got way too close to Illumi, aving hands in front of his face and eyeing his appearance, at least trying to make the stoic man react in any way.

“Nice to meet you!” One of your brothers offered his hand for your husband to shake, yet Illumi decided on staring him down instead.

“Pleasure is all mine” he retorted in his robotic way, sounding way too fake for anyone to buy it.

At least they were not afraid of him. Your husband was very talented in hiding his bloodlust, after all - even though it was constantly there, not even a skilled nen user would notice.

“Mother and father are awaiting you at the usual spot.” Your brother’s voice was more serious now that he had assessed the situation.

It was clear from the very first moment that they didn’t only come to greet you - their main goal was the eldest Zoldyck.

“Seems like he’s now our leader” you pondered as all of them dispersed into different directions.

Things had changed. Of course they did.

Back then, you declined your fate of becoming the clan-leader, even though it had been the centre of all your ambitions up until now.

Meeting Illumi made you question anything you expected from life.

You didn’t even know why: What would it matter if you left an assassin family just to join another one?

Even your youngest sister was different. You could feel her steady aura, meaning she had completed her training.

The situation made you both nostalgic and anxious.

“Do you regret it?” Illumi’s blank stare turned to your form, black orbs interrogating you. He knew you were meant to be a leader, yet you gave up on that dream and had laid down all your independency.

“Not really.” Shrugging, you quickly linked arms with your husband, leading him to the secret entrance of the headquarters. It was sealed with nen, just like back then.

At leas that didn’t change, and so you’d soon find yourself in the middle of the hall where you’d plan all of the operations back then.

“You’re home.” That solemn tone was fitting for your father: Hard to detect his emotions, but easy to understand. “Welcome home.”

Illumi took a few steps back, almost withdrawing into a dark corner of the room as if he wanted to disappear from this earth. He was more likely to be a mere bystander or observer than to be in social situations.

“My little angel of death!” your mother almost cried out, both incredibly happy and sorrowful. “You’ve returned to us!”

“And that handsome young man over there?” After she was done smothering your face in kisses, she directed her welcoming nature to Illumi was well. “C’mon, don’t be shy. Take a seat!”

That’s right. She’s never seen him before. He was here exactly once to propose in front of your father - god knows how he even got inside. Obviously it wasn’t really a big deal to him.

Your family was so insignificant compared to his heritage - not that it mattered to you, it was just an observation.

“When we heared your wish to bid our humble fort a visit, we were greatly honored” your father declared as all of you sat down at the great, round table. Now everyone was there: Siblings, uncles and aunts, even your grandparents and great-grandparents. “And we are glad of your safe arrival.”

Illumi didn’t really seem to be impressed, being able to silence the room with a single gesture of his hand. “Don’t go out of your way. I am here because Y/N wished to see you.”

You couldn’t help but smirk at his polite manner, even though he wasn’t very talkative. Trying to get a hold of his hand under the table, you’d spend the day just like that.

Hours just flew by as your family held a great dinner to honor ‘the happy couple’, with Illumi absorbing every little detail like a dry sponge: Daily conversations about irrelevant topics, tales about the past and especially the childhood.

He even managed to show a lopsided smile when he realized something made you particulary happy.

Yet everytime someone of your family tried to get close to you, all of you noticed how tense he became.

Of course he was very possessive, and didn’t want to share you with anyone. But it was so damn sweet that he at least tried to get himself together...

“I’ll be waiting outisde. Might give the town a visit.” Even through all of your objections, your husband was gone faster than any of you could comprehend. “Take all the time you need.”

“He’s amazing” you thought to yourself, not noticing how much you were trembling due to your excitement. Being here together with him was such a huge progress, and he was doing so damn great.

“Y/N?” Your father was the first one to take the word, clearing his throat before continuing. “Now that we’re alone...”

Of course he knew they weren’t. Illumi was supervisioning everything somehow. But they waited for so long, and needed to let it out.

It was ‘speak now or stay silent forever’.

“Tell us about life with the Zoldycks.” Your sister once again let her hand run up and down your arm, and you realized this wasn’t just loving closeness - they were searching for injuries. “Are they harsh on you?”

“His family is pretty crazy, but it’s nothing wild, really. I manage” you stated, pulling away from the touch of your siblings.

All of the eyes were on you now, dropping the act. Everything left was sympathy and...guilt?

“So...what’s your point?” You didn’t know why, but their glares made you furious somehow. Maybe because you knew what they were hinting at. “Just speak your mind.”

“Y/N, dear...” Now your mother was the one taking the initiative, squeezing your hand ever so slightly. “We’re so, so sorry! You need to understand why we did this, okay?”

“Did what?” When they didn’t respond, you repeated the question with a much weaker, almost broken voice. “Did...what?!”

“Isn’t it obvious?” your brother now spoke, almost disgusted by what he was about to say. “Giving you away to this...freak.”

“Huh?”

Your mother now clung to you, as if you were about to disappear if she was to ever let go. “There was no other choice!” she exclaimed, while your father dramatically swung his balled fist on the table. “The Zoldycks are dangerous! We knew your fate was sealed when he came asking for your hand in marriage...”

“Of course we despise that sick weirdo. Who would wish for their child to be with someone like him?!” your father continued, his explanation wrenching your heart dry. “But if we hadn’t complied, they would’ve taken you by force. You know they would’ve killed all of us. It was to protect the family, so we had to give you up! My sweet, sweet child-”

“-shut up” you whispered as you felt tears burning in your eyes.

“It’s okay, Y/N” your sister was trying to wipe them away, letting her thumb run over your cheek. “We’ve grown stong now, Y/N! You don’t need to protect us anymore, we’re-”

“You still don’t stand any chance against them.” You got up from your chair, slamming your palms on the table. “But that’s not the point!”

“What did that monster do to you?”

“Oh, he? Nothing!” you now screamed, slamming a plate to the ground to release some of the built-up tension. “In opposite to you, who abandoned their daughter to save their own skin!”

You didn’t know. How could you have missed that fact? Those people weren’t glad you married him, they just weren’t honest with you.

And they were selfish - for all they cared, they would’ve given you away to die if Illumi had been that way.

“My husband-” you choked on a sob, feeling as if the love you felt for Illumi was crushing you, keeping you from breathing freely. “He’s been here with you, wanting to understand what a normal family is like. But only now I realize this one is just as fucked up!”

“Don’t say something like tha-”

“I’m not done!” Suddenly, an outburst of your aura shook the whole room. “Illumi is a kind and confused person. He was benevolent with you, against all of his teachings. And you are talking behind his back? How cowardly of you. I thought we were a family of proud warriors!”

All of them were looking at each other, nodding in unity as they all thought the same.

“Illumi Zoldyck is probably the most dangerous of them all. Maybe not the strongest, but the most mad of them all.” You grid your teeth, almost snarling at your grandfather’s words. “Don’t fool yourself, Y/N. Love is a foreign concept for him. The word has spread across the whole continent: Even his own family, those bloodthirsty monsters fear that young man!”

“You don’t know him like I do.” Turning around, you prepared to leave - but your siblings blocked the way. “As if I’d listen to the opinions of people who gave me away just like that.”

“Listen to us, Y/N. Maybe you can free yourself. He might’ve placed a needle-”

“That’s enough.”

Your eyes widened in wonder. How did Illumi get back in without any of you noticing?

Yet here he was, and his aura had turned purple, stained with black from all the disappointment, hurt and anger he miraculously contained without breaking down.

“I think Y/N is tired and wants to leave.” His voice was as unaffected as always, yet one look of him was enough to make your siblings freeze in terror.

“You’re Y/N’s family, so I won’t kill you” your husband declared in an absentminded tone, grabbing your wrist and turning towards the exit without anyone daring an attempt to stop him. Just after he shoved you out of the door, Illumi would turn around one last time - a threatening ember sparkling in his eyes.

“But consider this a warning: Y/N belongs to me.”

“Why?” your father asked with an almost begging undertone. “Why did it have to be Y/N?”

“Because your child is important to me.”

Illumi had carried you all the way out of the town, only getting to a hold when you were at a mountain far enough away. Not that your family would follow you anyway.

After being done crying to your heart’s extend, your husband let you down in the slightly wet grass, and you were able to see the dim lights of the city far away at the horizon.

“We’ve played here very often” you sniffled, trying to get a hold of yourself. “My siblings and I.”

“Ah.”

You appreciated moments like these. Illumi was a very good listener, even though you weren’t even sure that he actually cared about what you were saying.

It just felt good to have him near when you were sad.

“I’m so terribly sorry, Lumi...they shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s okay.” No, it wasn’t You knew he tried to hard to be the best version of himself today, to try and respect boundaries and to trust people, and yet- “I am aware I’m a repulsive person.”

“Not to me.” Gently stoking his face, you could feel him rubbing his cheek on your palm in return.

“That’s enough for me.”

For a while, you just sat there, enjoying your closeness and the absence of anyone else in silence.

“So this is what family is like” Illumi cut through the nature’s sounds, “They protect you. And they only want your best.”

“They only ever thought of themselves.” You pulled your knees onto your chest, burying your face in them.

“I refuse to believe that.” Your husband wanted to pat your back, but decided against it just at the last second. “They seemed to be in great pain because of their actions. Can’t this only be because they cared about you?”

He was right, of course. The man with the heart of stone was great at knowing other people’s feelings, apparently. What an irony.

But you were too angry at that moment to listen to his rational explanation. That was only human, too.

“You know, when I was a child, my parents-”

“Please.” You wanted him to stop right there and now. “Don’t elaborate.”

Every time Illumi would complete a story about his childhood, it usually ended up with you having a crying fit. Then he was the one having to console you instead of the other way around, and it made you only feel guilty.

Of course you were happy that he’d finally open up a little, but...no. Just not now.

“You defended me” he changed the topic, quietly adding “Even though they were right...”

“That’s only natural. You’re my husband.”

Back then, you didn’t know Illumi’s intentions when he asked you to become his. But truth was, you didn’t regret it - not even for a second.

Illumi on the other hand was as overwhelmed as always.

“I was afraid you’d stay with them.” His voice sounded impassive, yet you knew him better than that. “But now-”

Listening to you passionately defending your husband’s honor was satisfying, obviously - yet knowing you broke with your family left a foul aftertaste in his mind.

No one ever stood up for him like that.

What a day.

His mind was racing, still trying to catch up with everything that had happened today: You did all of that, no - gave up so many things, just because of him.

His entire life was going one set and predetermined way, revolving around his family. Yet meeting you had changed both of your fates in a completely different direction.

And this meant he now had to learn with the consequences of actions he did out of his own, free will.

What for? And was it good or bad?

Now that he was with you, he had liberties. Choices. But freedom felt wrong and made him feel...scared? Not even he could decipher his emotions very well.

All that was clear from now on that - to a certain extend - you were free to draft your own ways - and together, it didn’t seem all that bad for him.

_____

If you want to get on the taglist or get removed from feel free to ask! ♡

@roseburry-jam @food-cures-all @oprah-winfriess @ullinic @sun-and-moon-elfingsmeme @chocolateislovr @sapphic-ghoul@coco724 @jessiejunebug @yukiwins @weflyinfluff@readlatersnowy @gibk @spasmodicterror @djgirl66 @pweeenis@trblsicheng @theromaniangirl @cluelessmxnd @s1sterofthemoon @spasmodicterror @note-reblog @tamxixxx @orophaea @frankenduffy @cinnamon-beans @8-ash @cherryyongs @destructive-memories @patheticgay69 @sappyisyourpappy @sadferalgremlin @selca11 @itsfakearies @djgirl66 @rizawantspizza@g-creevan913 @oprah-winfriess @actressania @rolo-at-midnight @slutforpapawise @myminmango @scatter-mind001 @mimilovesfantrolls @the-temple-pythoness @g-creevan913 @jovialnoise @gibk @callumi @jiminie666 @justhavefunwithit @nadzhaf @corpse-deactivated20011031 @mariana-127 @menhwra @rolo-at-midnight @ihavemultiplefandomsbutcantfocus @jaz-plaz @loser-alert @illumifucker69 @leenaofarc @catlovesdogs17 @softvgold @gibk @bungeedummy @cinnamon-beans @illum1swhore @avaskylynnbrook @winchescumberholland @beifongt @kalxswin @reblogmeplease @kola95 @xxx-angelic

Feedback is always appreciated!

#Illumi Zoldyck #Illumi x Reader #Illumi Zoldyck x Reader #Illumi x You #HxH #Illumi Zoldyck x You #Self Insert #Arranged Marriage Au #Writing #Fanfiction

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indomies · 3 years

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#showyourprocess

From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES - When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag up to 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours.

sabrina @lanwangiji tagged me to show how i made my zayn’s birthday edit! check out her explanation on this mesmerizing zayn’s edit

1. PLANNING

It’s Zayn’s birthday, I ought to make something because so far I have made birthday posts for Louis, Niall and Liam. I didn’t participate in his birthday challenge so I had more time to create something for his birthday. I saw this post by @spaceniall and instantly fell in love with it. It's so clean, so neat, an amazing edit. I had that post tagged for inspo and because my Louis’s birthday edit was a bit “grand”, I thought I should make something simple.

I went to look for some photos of Zayn everywhere. Literally e v e r y w h e r e. I saved every photo I found beautiful and there were a LOT. I asked my friends for adjectives that describe Louis best and added them on my Louis’s birthday post, and I followed that approach for this edit. I asked several friends what they think of Zayn and collected the adjectives.

This was a time where I haven’t used trello board, so I put all the adjectives in a google doc. Seriously I swear by trello board, they make my life easier.

After I had all the photos and the adjectives, I went to pinterest to look for the color palette. I forgot how and why I came up with this color scheme, but I believed I wanted something pastel and muted color.

I had this idea to make an evergreen birthday post. I didn’t want to state any “happy birthday zayn” or his age on the graphic. I didn’t want to make all the edits to have his face because I wanted to showcase my graphics and typography style lmao. So I came up with 2 pictures with Zayn’s face and one central picture with his name. And I’m obsessed with space stuffs so this birthday edit is space themed.

2. PROCESSING

This is one of my earliest edits that I made in Illustrator, though I used Photoshop as well.

2.1 REMOVING PICTURES BACKGROUND

Remember I saved a LOT of Zayn’s photos? Yeah? Well I had a hard time choosing the right one. I asked Sabrina to help lmao. After I agreed with myself which photos I would use, I opened Photoshop and prayed it won’t crash after 5 min.

I uploaded the 2 photos and then I used selection on Zayn and then clicked inverse and deleted the background. Recently I found this website who can delete your background in 1 min, tbh that’s a life saver. I recommend using them, if you hate removing backgrounds with Photoshop.

I saved the backgroundless Zayn’s photos as png. And we’re moving on to the next step

2.2 THE TYPOGRAPHY

I only used Photoshop to remove the backgrounds. Now onto Illustrator. Always pray it won’t close by itself every 5 min.

I don’t really remember which dimension I used, but I suspect it’s 600x700 px. I made 3 artboards and loaded the color palette I found from Pinterest. I made 3 rectangles as the backgrounds for each picture and filled them with my desired colors, 2 pink and 1 green. Green being the standalone was put in the middle.

A bit of excursion based on my experience

When you open an artboard in Illustrator, you’ll see a white background. When you save the file you’ve worked on, it’ll actually be transparent. That’s why I always draw a rectangle as a background so it has a solid color.

I focused on ZAYN (middle pic) first because I wanted that to be the main focus. I don’t remember the font I used and I already deleted all files. I followed this tutorial to make the text. Basically you write your text first and choose effect > 3d > extrude and bevel > isometric top. Changed the colors according to my color palette.

I moved on to the first picture, Zayn and the adjectives. I uploaded his photo to the artboard and put it in the middle. I wanted the adjectives to encircle him. I just followed this tutorial on how to make the effect. I made that text effect because that reminded me of the saturn ring lmao.

2.3 THE GRAPHIC DETAILS

Once I got the typography done, I made stars and moon to make the edits merrier and more space themed.

For the stars you can follow this tutorials. For the moon I made 2 circles, one of them was bigger. I put the smaller one in front and click minus front (I think). For the saturn planet, I made a circle with filling and an oval with stroke only, putting the oval infront of the circle and delete the back part of the ring (I hope this makes sense).

I have these lines around Zayn, my intention was to make Zayn pop and kind of crown him or give him a glowy effect sort-of.

All I did was follow this tutorial and delete the lines at the top, because I didn’t want it to be too crowded. Then I put some stars and planets at the top to balance it.

2.4 FINISHING TOUCHES & EXPORTING

I rearranged some things, zoomed out the artboard so I could see everything as one post and picked and deleted some unwanted things. After I was satisfied, I added my watermark and it was my old url, I just typed louistomlinboo. (Now I made a logo-ish and use that as my watermark and the logo is not dependent on my url)

Ok I lied I used Photoshop again… so I had these adjectives in 2.1 that encircled him right but some parts of the texts are above him. I exported my Illustrator file as a psd, uploaded it on Photoshop and used layer mask magic to delete the texts that were above him to create an illusion that the texts went around and under him you know. See the picture below, some texts are beneath him.

For this picture I exported the png file from Photoshop, the rest directly from Illustrator.

This was when I learned I needed to scale up, because on Illustrator they all look good in terms of quality. But when I posted it, the quality was reduced. That time I just exported as big as the dimensions and I was disappointed with the quality when it’s on tumblr.

3. POSTING

I uploaded the 3 pictures I have on tumblr and chose “happy birthday zayn” with star symbols/emojis to keep up with the space theme.

So I always write out what my caption will be with the “rich text” option.

Then I go to this color html website to add the gradient color in the caption and remove the “;” with “ “ in here. Once I have everything, I change rich text to html so I can put the text with color in html mode.

Put some tags related to Zayn. (self promotion time lol. i have compiled tags for 1d creators check them out here)

I finished I think a week earlier before Zayn's birthday so I saved it on draft. I posted around midnight (my timezone is CET), because oh boy it is a competition with birthday post lmao. That’s what I feel like at least. You know, everyone wants to make a birthday post, I feel I have a better chance If I post something first. Whenever I have something done earlier before a certain due date, I either save it on draft or schedule it so it’ll be posted automatically.

Yeah that’s it! It’s not as detailed as before I think because the files are deleted sorry!

i’m tagging:

@spaceniall for this wonderful niall’s birthday edit

@she-fearlesss for this magnificent louis’s birthday gifset

@finewalls for this mesmerizing animation

@louitomlinson (i know you’re not that active but if you want and can!) for this amazing edit

and @tomlinsun for this cool edit

#showyourprocess #bacotan belle

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imaginesbymk · 3 years

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PINK + WHITE.

— chapter ten ; stained glass window.

summary: teresa’s permanent resignation from the peaky blinders leads her to a whole new chapter of working in an art museum. but little did she know her best life would be butchered some time later when her former lover tommy shelby gives her no choice but to return to the peaky blinders after they make new enemies, with the leader, of all people, being the man teresa fell in love with one night after a wedding reception back in post world war; luca changretta.

pairing: luca changretta x OC x tommy shelby

tags in this chapter: swearing + smoking

[ chapter index ]

A/N: I am sooooo sorry for the long hiatus! </3

This story is getting more views on Wattpad than here on Tumblr. I still love the show and Luca's my favourite villain, but as much as I want to discontinue this story, I want to get it out of the way because I have drafted a timeline of this story, including Teresa's and Luca's closure on their relationship. So I'm stuck in the middle on what to do???

BTW, I've come up with a headcanon for Luca's full name as Luca LaPaglia Changretta! His middle name is never revealed in the show, I just did this for the fic.

RIP Helen McCrory. You were one of my favourite stars of the show. Fly high <3. The Peaky fandom will miss you so much.

///

TERESA wasn't as religious as the next person, but she kept her respect as her heels echoed down the aisle, immediately spotting the tall man kneeling on one of the pues. His hands were folded in prayer, and he murmured what the Welsh could make out to be Italian tongue.

"Do you want to be alone?" she asks.

Luca pauses, his eyes still shut and hands still in folds. "No. I want you here."

Teresa slides over and sits next to her lover, staring at the giant crucifix behind the front podium. "How often do you pray, amore?"

Luca pauses his prayer again. "Almost every day. God and I keep in touch, y'know."

"What does he say to you?"

"He tells me to tell you to quit interrupting until I'm done talking to Him." Teresa chuckles, prompting her to let him finish. As it took another good minute for Luca to conclude his prayer, Teresa gazed at the stained glass windows on each side, casting a good light from the clouds that allowed a bit of sun for England, some of it casted its light onto Luca, like an angel on an opera stage.

Luca makes a sign of the cross, sitting back on the pue and grunting a bit from kneeling for a while. "How was lunch with Mamma?"

Teresa nodded. "It was lovely."

"Just lovely?"

"Mhm." She holds his hand. "She says your middle name is LaPaglia."

Luca hums, kissing her hand that curled with his. "C'mon, I wanna take you out with me for wine."

"Hmm... Luca LaPaglia Changretta," She said out loud, admiring the beauty of his full name slipping from her lips. "And I had wine with your mother."

"I meant wine shopping. I'm doing most of the taste tests, it's my cousin's birthday soon."

"Then shouldn't he be the one shopping for wine?" she asks.

The Italian pulls the heavy door, escorting Teresa out of the church and into the chauffeur. "He counts on me, I'm better at choosing wine and gin these days."

"ARTHUR, quit pacing. You'll burn your legs out."

"Where the fuck is she?" Arthur grunts. "Eh? Tom, you're really in it for this one. The fuckin' Welsh is not gonna live up to a fuckin' promise."

"You stop that, she's on her way," Tommy takes a sip of his drink.

A split-second passes as the maid knocks on the heavy office door. "Mr. Shelby?" the feminine voice calls softly. "Miss Griffith is here to see you."

Tommy gives a smug look to Arthur and Polly. "Yes. Send her in," he says. They waited for the woman to walk in, kind of wishing for Tommy to immediately scold her once she stepped foot into his office, but Tommy wasn't up to waste that much energy.

Arthur was the one to step in and do so, otherwise. "What? Did you stroll around Manchester or something?"

"Sorry," Teresa frowns, her face reading she wasn't holding any joy from her day so far. "I was with Luca."

"We're all ears," Polly walked around Tommy's desk. "What's happened? Did he fuck you until you forgot how to tell time?"

"I'm assuming Finn told you?" she asks.

"That's Finn for you, Teresa," Arthur points out.

Teresa rolls her eyes. No point of getting back at him this time. Rat or not, he would never hold back a word from the family. She remembered seeing him appear at the gallery, and he wasn't going to keep a secret from Tommy.

"I invited him for a meeting at a bar...then he took me to the theatre..." Teresa trails off.

Tommy opens his cigarette pack. "Go on."

"That's all, Mr. Shelby."

"You slept with Luca Changretta, just say it."

Teresa folded her arms. "Actually, yes. But earlier events prove what I'm about to propose; I'm in."

The members of the Peaky Blinders all raised a brow, mostly Tommy's.

"You slept with Luca Changretta, I didn't expect you to actually follow up with that, I don't recall telling you to do so, either."

"I wanted to discuss his plans on taking the Penarth gallery. It's not for his dirty hands to touch."

"You wish to join because your heart was too broken to hold back?" Polly says. "Is that where we're getting at, Teresa?" The Welsh woman stared at her. This was probably the first time they had seen each other after all those years that followed from her resignation. Since the last time they spoke, Polly didn't have anything held against her, and here she is, quite disappointed that Teresa shared her heart with a man like Luca. She did quite enjoy her company and her contribution to the Peaky Blinders, even when she chose to depart from Tommy and their relationship, then came Grace Burgess. Polly just didn't want to deal with another afterwards unless it was Lizzie.

"You're doing this just to get even? Luca could care less about your feelings now."

"Teresa," Tommy sighs, nodding at his old friend. "Come back here tomorrow."

Teresa nodded and made her exit out the foot of her door.

"And come on time, please." Teresa wished she could slam the door on him, but Arthur shut it as soon as Teresa's foot took a centimeter away. She presses her ear against the wood to hear them muffling.

"Tom?" She hears Arthur speak. "We can't trust her."

Tommy clears his throat, setting down a scrap of an article he read on his desk. "She'll go back to Penarth, but we can't let her stay there. I know what's going to happen."

"What do you know?"

"Italian men will show up to the gallery."

"It's certain Teresa Griffith keeps a firearm in her drawers," Polly says.

"No," Tommy shook his head. "Not enough to take down at least five men. Luca keeps count of who he orders - who he sends. We're more careful of that, we know of that."

"We're not morons, Tommy. Now we hear from Finn that Luca and Teresa were together?"

"Teresa should give us what we need to know from Luca Changretta. She knows too much about him."

"And Luca knows too much about us," Polly slowly walks over to Tommy. "If Teresa forms an alliance, what will she do? She's already slept with him, but I doubt she got anything out of it. She's not here for the sake of helping. She wants in because she's a woman with a broken heart."

Teresa detaches herself from the door, having heard enough. One of the maids returns, noticing the guest hadn't left yet and was suspiciously eavesdropping their boss. Teresa was pulled back by the shoulder like a child, escorting her out of the foyer.

SEVERAL HOURS EARLIER, Teresa woke from the blinding sun. The silky bed sheets that covered hers and Luca's nude bodies were unmade - ruffled around. If you left the curtains open, you're more alerted. Luca never intended on waking Teresa up that way. In fact, he wasn't even lying next to her in the bed.

Luca's white dress shirt casted more brightness but his trousers were half done. He stared outside, holding his China cup of tea in one hand before looking back down at the papers sprawled across his desk.

Teresa sat up to clip on her brassiere, her accent thinned to greet in basic Italian. "Buongiorno."

He didn't respond.

She slides out of bed and approaches the desk. "Do you need me to leave soon? Though, you don't look like you're in a rush for an important meeting."

Still nothing.

"What, Luca?" This wasn't new for Luca to strangely switch up his mood. He wasn't an easy man, it's hard to impress him or to even study his emotions at times. Teresa had the feeling that Luca didn't enjoy what they had done. "Was this a mistake?"

"This was unprofessional." Luca sets his cup and coaster on his desk. "If you think something will come from this, then think again. I never should have taken you to the theatre. You were trying to let my guard down, were you?"

"No," Teresa shook her head. "I wasn't surprised that this was going to happen."

"Such a mind you carry in that blonde head of yours."

"Seeing you again felt good, Luca. I seized the opportunity to share another moment with you. I was thinking you were going to plan on coming back to Penarth indefinitely."

"Miss Griffith, did it ever occur to you that I wasn't supposed to stay here?" Luca frowns. "I'm no citizen here. America is where my heart belongs, if not America; Sicily."

"You fled to America. That was your last ditch effort to get away from the police," Teresa murmured. She folds her arms. "I understand why you had to do it."

"Then why do you hold it against me?" he asks, exhausted.

"Because I never heard from you ever since."

"I was fairly active in New York, you know?"

"I didn't know."

Luca stared at her. "That's your own problem, Miss Griffith."

"Christ, Luca. Enough with the formalities!" Teresa snaps. "I'm standing at your desk, half nude. We fucked in that bed right there!"

"Which was something we shouldn't have done," Luca began rubbing his temples. "I didn't come back here for you, all right? Porca miseria-" he cuts himself off to heave in a deep sigh. "I have to ask. All this time... you're still hung up on me?"

"Yes," Teresa says, her face paling. "Because I missed you, you bloody bastard. I couldn't reach out to you or your mother, not even the American press, to see how you were doing, or if you were kissing another woman's lips."

Luca slid his hand over to pick up the dress and shawl he placed on the side of the desk. "You need to leave now."

There was no point of convincing him anymore. All was said. Teresa knew not to vex a mafioso unarmed. If she had her handgun with her, she would have tried to pull something in a spite of anger. Would that do her a favour? Probably not. The rest of whoever's left of the Changretta family would go after her without question.

There was Tommy, though, and he's still waiting for her response back in Small Heath.

Grabbing her clothes, Teresa marches back to the bed, gets dressed and leaves the hotel room without saying a word to her former lover. Not even a curse.

#pink+white #luca changretta x oc #luca changretta fanfic #luca changretta #luca changretta fanfiction #tommy shelby x oc #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders x oc #peaky blinders

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