#i mean. theres ppl who have admited to doing crazy fucked up shit on here but ig bc they dont get mass reported. its like. fine

[snekdood]

i dont feel like being generally disliked on tumblr is a good enough reason to shadow ban me

#i mean. theres ppl who have admited to doing crazy fucked up shit on here but ig bc they dont get mass reported. its like. fine #but someone writes whats essentially a conspiracy theory callout post about me that no one tells me about but i just feel in my heart #exists by virtue of the way ppl operate on here- all the sudden its fine if im shadow banned #lol #this website feels like one big massive clique #all the more reason i felt the need to draw that short comic #and yes to whomstever it may concern- i do in fact think not coming to me at all to know what i believe or think about whatever conclusion #yall have come to about me is a conspiracy theory. #like thats just how they're made #not a far couple steps away from rumors to conspiracy theories the longer you refuse to actually engage w the person you're making shit #up about. #ik its not like the whole website that hates me but boy howdy does it feel like a good chunk of it. #hopefully its just the terfs but ik yall in the queer community and fandom communities are weird in this kinda way too about making #callout posts and just like believing them without question

[gayregis]

if you've read season of storms is it any good? i read a sample and was kind of bored but i don't want to spend money on it if it's going to be like,,,,,,,,,lady of the lake

reading this i was like “wait lady of the lake was good though,” then i paused to actually think about it as a cohesive narrative for a bit, and went “actually wait never mind :/...” it was good thematically, and there were a lot of great scenes, but like as a whole book... if you could only read that book on its own... it would be very long and confusing. i just think lotl’s good because i do the uncivilized thing of skipping around to the parts i like and then i don’t read the parts i dislike

but luckily i have already ranted about season of storms before, and i’ll post that rant here now. for context, i actually read season of storms from cover to cover... yeah.

overall, it's a disorganized and aimless plot. it's set inbetween tlw and sod, so there's no quest to find ciri, because geralt hasnt met ciri yet, he's still our free bachelor geralt. which means hes still quite directionless and when it comes to his personal life it's mostly preoccupied with romance. but more importantly it means the plot is incredibly aimless and NOT PERSONAL to geralt, like all the stories in TLW and SOD and all the saga books revolve around events and people super meaningful to him. what happens in the plot is a whole JUMBLE of things that feel like sidequests from the witcher games, not a story from the witcher books. nothing really means anything for geralt's character development, and it suffers from being so long because there's like a lot of different settings and characters and everything just seems completely thrown together, mashed up, and not coordinated. 

i will admit that baptism of fire & tower of the swallow followed a style of “random encounters” in which geralt and the company traverse on and just interact with whatever they happen to find, but it felt like they were accruing knowledge (and also. members of the company) as they travelled on. in season of storms, it feels like geralt starts over and the entire book resets itself every time there is a new scene. none of the plotlines fit together, so it is just a super confusing and exhausting reading experience, unlike in bof & tos, where you can follow the action quite easily and it’s very pleasant to read because it’s all one continuous storyline.

in addition, all of these mashed up stories are pointless, because they dont END with the reader learning anything about the universe the characters live in or their relationships with each other. we might learn that sorcerers are power-hungry, but we already knew that. we might learn that people are violent and corrupt, but we already knew that. we might learn that geralt loves yennefer, but we already knew that. in the short stories, you learn so much about the world and geralts relationships (for example: we learn so much about the situations surrounding the elves in edge of the world, so it’s worth reading because otherwise you will not understand anything when the scoia’tael show up in blood of elves and later in the saga). and in the saga, this continues and more worldbuilding/relationship building occurs (geralt and ciri’s relationship grows from a question of price and then becomes crazy right around baptism of fire when they’re super linked by destiny). it really doesnt in season of storms. you don’t learn anything meaningful about the world or the characters like in the other witcher books.

another large flaw is that in the stories and saga, sapkowski was really good at creating likeable, enigmatic characters no matter how few pages he had to create them. they were deep and almost lifelike and also usually told a larger message. the NPCs- sorry, "characters" in season of storms are SUPER flat and uninteresting.

coral is h*rny for geralt and jealous of yennefer, like every sorceress ever to exist, pratt is a dick and corrupt, degerlund is corrupt and evil, mosaik is timid, the werewolf guy is JUST THERE, the auguara isn’t super interesting despite being cool, nimue feels flatter as a character than usual, even dandelion- okay actually jk i liked dandelion he was the sunny part of this book AS ALWAYS ... ofc he felt one-dimensional but he usually does so you know, EVEN GERALT feels a little one-dimensional and not his typical introspective self

one of the worst things sapkowski did was [SPOILERS] make the major villain character of the book gay and feminine... like its mentioned SO many times that "ohhhh this is a man that looks like a woman WOW HOW EVIL!" and he literally does the worst things like rip ppl to shreds and want to kill geralt painfully by torture with syringes, also he uses his sexuality to ?? seduce an older sorcerer to be his favorite so he can keep his job as a sorcerer?? 

and OK vilgefortz and bonhart arent complex villains. but theyre despicable and it feels a little deeper bc vilgefortz has that backstory and hunger for power, and bonhart is just terrifying and the embodiment of wretched evil, this guy from season of storms is just annoying and anime villainy like “OOHOHOH watch how i kill you now >:)” also theres a lot of crass humor like fart jokes and villains that are described as really super ugly like omg wow never saw that one coming!!! it just feels super bland and basic and almost like the antithesis of The Witcher as short stories and a saga, super out of place with the rest of the series. [END SPOILERS]

in my opinion, the BIGGEST FLAW with season of storms is that since the plot is so all over the place, and since the characters are so flimsy, the entire book feels meaningless. it feels like it would appease games or netflix fans who just want to read about geralt going on some crazy adventures, and it does serve that purpose, but it is NOT a “book belonging to the witcher series.” it has no depth where there should be... i do not feel like sapkowski is trying to tell me something as a reader about human nature, or the nature of parent-child relationships, or society, or violence and war... 

it just feels like geralt is doing all of this shit just because sapkowski had some remaining ideas and wanted to get all of them out into the world all in the same book, like sewing a vest out of fabric scraps. it was not refined like the witcher saga, because none of them were really meant to fit together anyways, and because they weren’t meant to fit together, there is a distinct lack of message and substance to it.

TLDR: no cohesive narrative and a confusing plot, no deeper underlying message or arguments about humanity or society or nature being made by the author, cheap new side & background characters, no ciri and no yennefer so geralt is quite directionless and stupid

other remarks that are just my personal preferences and comments:

geralt & dandelion:

geralt mostly works alone in this book... which is... not my favorite. this is why i got bored with tw3 after i read the witcher books, because i can’t stand geralt being alone, the world feels so... lonely! although he meets up with dandelion and has an affair with coral in season of storms, most of the book is him waffling about with side and background characters that i couldn’t care less about because sapkowski put no effort into developing them to be enigmatic or at least lifelike and likable (unlike some really minor characters in the witcher saga that, although they were so minor, were incredibly likable: for example, applegatt and toruviel i quite like). 

of course, i also have a preference for when geralt hangs out with dandelion, because it usually creates more of a lighter tone for the scenes and a more humorous nature overall, plus geralt changes his personality to be not in such a bad mood and we get to see him being kind and friendly. so it annoys me that although dandelion has some scenes with geralt, they never really have deep conversations like they do in a little sacrifice, or witty remarks & banter like in the edge of the world... i feel like dandelion was quite in-character for the whole book, which is good, but also, he’s dandelion so he’s pretty easy to get in character. he’s just easy-going, arrogant, preoccupied with earthly delights, cowardly, and friendly to geralt. but it annoyed me that their scenes together were both not very deep, and that they didn’t get as much interaction as i think they deserved. usually in a witcher book or story in which geralt and dandelion have met, they stay by each other’s side for like, the whole book or story, lmao... 

that being said, they do have some fun moments in this book and dandelion has some funny lines which i quite enjoy. like. they are eating at an inn, and the innkeeper asks them “how are you finding the pork?” and dandelion replies, “we’re finding it among the kasha. from time to time. not as often as we’d like to.” and somehow i just find that line so fucking funny... i think it’s just because it’s really relatable

sorcery:

coral is SOOOOO one-dimensional, she really is just like the same character as fringilla vigo or some other sorceress that’s jealous of yennefer for getting to bang geralt, and this lack of characterization is super transparent. people laugh about how many affairs geralt has had, but they never discuss how all of them have been super uneasy and unfulfilling.

already said that i hate degerlund as a character and all of the sorcerers being morally wack is predictable if you’ve read like, anything from the saga about the sorcerer/esses. also geralt talking with sorcerers is like, interesting if the sorcerer in question is vilgefortz, but everyone else is just super boring

other:

i didn’t really like ferrant de lettenhove until the very end of the book (which i won’t spoil) but because of this end, i wished that he got more backstory/development

NIMUE I LOVE YOU and it was nice that nimue got some more backstory in this.

i do enjoy the end of the book. not to say “my favorite part is when it ended,” but it’s true, because the ending in kerack is interesting and full of drama, the moments in the inn are alright if a little void of substance, the ending with geralt and dandelion on horseback is beautiful, and the epilogue with nimue is wistful and beautiful as well.

sheer pettiness:

oh my GOD why are the CHAPTERS so SHORT? it’s like, 20 chapters plus a bunch of interludes and an epilogue, and the book is only 357 pages long. it feels like as soon as i was getting into a scene, it switched to another chapter. i mean, idk whether i prefer this, or the haphhazard long as fuck chapters from baptism of fire where i’m not quite sure when a chapter begins or ends because i memorized the scenes and not when a chapter occurs. 

i dislike how coral is on the cover of it, even though it’s fitting, because if there was a work about... oh idk... the hansa... then angouleme could have been on the cover... and then i could have had geralt + yennefer + ciri + dandelion + the hansa on the covers... like wow that would be cool...

this book would have functioned much better as a series of short stories... i think sapkowski has talent for the short story medium, but novel-length books are more desirable by publishers, but this is literally just a guess, i don’t have anything to back this up

my recommendation: don’t buy it if you are just looking to read the witcher books as in, get a feel for the book canon world and characters. it’s pretty unnecessary for that. do buy it if you are a completionist like me / the witcher is something you’ve been into for years and you’re about to buy all the books as a set and it would feel weird to not have all eight books on your shelf and it’s only like $5 more to buy the set of 8 as compared to the set of 7. don’t read it and expect perfection, it’s basically like “drabbles” but canon from the author. there are like 2 or 3 nice gerlion moments if you care about that.

#ask #season of storms #dandeliyn

[cheswirls]

a quick sum-up of che’s future career plans, bc reasons

im halfway through the dive!! anime show that came out this summer season, and i’m having a lot of thoughts, and plus i finished going through all the footage i missed today of skate america while i was at a bball game, and it’s made me realize different things i guess? 

it might be mid-long length so its going under a cut, but to gain intereststart off, this is all about my desire to be an athletic trainer for the usa olympic center at colorado springs, co !

ive been an at(now when you see that abb. you know what it means hah!! not assistant teacher hmm) student since my freshman year of high school, and i’ve loved it a whole bunch. back then i was set on going to columbia U for their writing program, and i wanted to major in graphic design afterwards/during/it wasnt super planned out i was a fr. i didnt know what bfa or mfa stood for yet. it wasnt until end of sophomore year than i thought about being an at for realsies.

but i also still loved gd. so there was a confliction there.

junior year i took a break from working volleyball in the fall and did my one and only year of football and it was terrible primarily bc the team i worked with didnt know how to function as a group and half the group were selfless bitch whores but like thats another storyyy, secondly bc i jus really discovered i didnt care abt football at all. it was mostly for the experience and i gained it and i liked it bc i hung out w a lot of people from helping out w varsity (i was one of two our of the five juniors that had been there since my fr year and was only on jv bc it was my first year w football, but one of the seniors had to work a bunch so when they needed an extra person i was the one w the most experience so i was w them a lot,) point was it was fun!!! and you have fun w ppl you like that you dont work w all the time and i shouldnt say fun bc lots of times it was awful,

basically! it was fun being w the varsity trainers which were the seniors and the other junior that had been around since fr year. volleyball was fun but it had always been a one-at-student-per-team sport , so it was different jus being w other ats that shared the same team and not the same sport(which in the us is made up of at least three different teams, a fr,jv,and varsity). it was a more open environment and so it inspired a lot of talk with the at grad students we had that semester (we got 3-4 every semester in a partnership w the D1 uni in town, it was always cool to hear stories from them!) and anyway i remember talking w a couple of the grads one practice and we were discussing all the different occupations athletic trainers could have, and what they wanted to work with in the future, and the topic veered towards professional sports and the olympics.

i thought it was really cool when we were talking about it, and then we got busy and it flew out of my mind. i dont remember when it came back and became a focus, but sometime before my senior year, i had decided i wanted to work at the olympic level.

real quick i mentioned gd and the struggle, so to bring that into focus, my junior year i took a whole bunch of different tech classes (gd&i, compsci, webtech) and in one of those, i had the opportunity to go to a ... i cant remember what the term was for it, but it was kinda an event for gd students and it had a little competition and stuff, and it was really fun! nd you got a lot of info abt the community college hosting it and i learned their program was really good, so the gd versus at internal struggle continued, and i remember talking to my sponsor teacher (she actually taught all three of my tech classes that year aaa i loved her) about how i didnt know what to do and shit and i dunno what she told me but like, i think she was trying to be encouraging but she basically said it was up to me, like she didnt try and nod me into a direction, that i can recall.

so SOMEHOW bc i honestly cannot remember, by senior year i’ve decided that im gonna jus fuck it and pick BOTH and double major in gd and athletic training. AND i had it all planned out, where i was gonna get a degree in gd and open up an online business, and then go into a masters program for at and then enter into the olympic field. 

by this point creative writing is still cool and a great hobby but i couldnt possibly double major AND have a minor that’d be too much. id still love to take a cw course tho one day.

basically a buncha crazy stuff happened that first semester but by winter break i had an acceptance letter to a uni a couple hours north of home with a good accredited undergrad program (accredited basically means you graduate w a masters in four years so its fasttracked which woulda been great but uh..) and by the time i found out that next semester that they were doing away with the accredited program i was already too emotionally invested to consider panic-switching(panic bc it was february and id already been admitted hah...) but i decided it’d be okay. basically if you dont remember/werent around one of my school’s head ats died in a car crash died around early october ‘16. she went to undergrad where i go now, and i’d talked to her about it september that semester wondering if she knew anything abt their program and uh surprise, she’d done the same program small world. after the funeral in november and a ton of thought i applied there. (november was.. crazy in general last year. rly crazy)

may was when i started adding on sports to the future olympics job, bc i started thinking about it and after finally getting a friend to watch yuri on ice, he started making his was through all of sochi’s figure skating stuff, and then the 2010 vancouver olympics, and i decided i wanted to recap a bit on that too.

the 2010 olympics was really my first experience with figure skating. i’m a west texas gal and so theres not a lot out here to get exposed to, so seeing these best-of-the-best class sports was fun, and the earliest experience i can remember of such. i was in fifth grade so i dont remember a ton, but i do remember being captivated by korea’s yuna kim, who won gold that year in fs. shes an fs legend at this point, so if you’re into figure skating and don’t know who she is, go look her up. you wont be disappointed.

in 2012 was the london olympics. i remember a lot from it, like watching the opening ceremony with my parents and seeing the queen jump out of a helicoptor(which is like,, still cool to this day wow) and being fascinated my michael phelps and all the swimming he did so grandly. it was also my first real exposure to diving. the oldest i could recall anything abt the sport was at a pizza hut somewhere.. in town i think, and i was w my best friend at the time and my mom was there so i think maybe we were on the way back from the lake??? sounds right, i think. and we were talking abt how i always held my nose when i went underwater bc i didnt know how to not get water all up my nostrils and be underwter(and i still dont to this day aha) and she mentioned like, joining a diving team would be cool! would help me get over it and all! and i like recalling it dunno what she was talking abt bc we lived in dirt city nothing so i highly doubt there was or is any sort of diving sport happening. swimming, yeah maybe, there were lessons at pools and bodyworks areas around town, competitive teams im not sure tho, but not diving like at all so??? dunno.

so my next and technically first real experience with it was watching the london olympics. and i thought, wow, this is so neat!! i watched from that one day like the opening events, and i think i was old enough to search online like yea i had a laptop by then so i looked up the schedule for the things i wanted to see most of, and i ended up watching i think most of the diving events (i missed a couple for.. archery, i think? maybe?) and absolutely loving it. iunno what it was, maybe something i never thought i could do?(bc not hold my nose?? while i dove???????? scaryy) but i enjoyed it a bunch.

i was older when sochi was a thing, my 8th grade year. i was able to appreciate things a lot more. when i tuned into events, tony hawk and snowboarding were the main focus, but figure skating was on a lot as well. i had a tv in my room by that point, so if i didnt like what was playing on the main tv, i could go watch another event. i learned a lot of names and faces through that, and so while my bff was watching it our senior year if i was with him id point out skaters and their nationalities and stuff, like yuzuru hanyus always been a modern day household name w figure skating, but i leanred abt him BECAUSE of the sochi olympics, and he was one of the ones i’ve never forgotten. i really really liked it, so much that i watched worlds after, and around the same time my fr year, i tuned in to just the worlds championship again. i didn’t pick up trying to watch grand prix(which is their regular season, for those unaware) season until my junior year, and most of it was day-or-two-late videos from youtube, since the ice channel i think it a paid-for thing (i still dont know much abt it hah) and nothing was on tv otherwise, aside from the skate america event. but since that first time after sochi, ive always been around watching worlds fs near the beg of each year. i’d familiarized myself by senior year with the fs world, and actually,

early (i think march?) of my junior year, i searched up trying to find a figure skating anime at the time. and what did i find?? ginban, the only figure skating anime at the time. i watched like maybe all of one episode, it was abt a girl who shared her body w the ghost of a former figure skater while she was competing in events, and it was.. okay? lackluster, in the animation dept, but it was a 2005 show so.. yeah.

so after that i was like kk that wasnt good lets find another. and i didnt. not yet, anyway. instead, i found an announcement for violet evergarden’s animated adaptation, and yuri on ice, a realistic adaptation of the sport of figure skating. thats bolded bc its important. i found that shit abt yoi before it even had a promo poster, certainly before the pv came around that got everyone hyped up. i found it bc i was looking for figure skating in the first place. in fact, i think when the pv came out and got popular, i didnt even relate it to the upcoming fs anime i’d read about previously. it took me a bit to connect the dots. 

watching yuri on ice at the same time as the gp 2016 season was surreal, but really interesting. i got my bff into it before the second to last episode came out, and i only remember that bc he finally showed any interest when he found something on twitter abt it being gay (newsflash/// hes gay, and before yoi his fav show was no6 bc that was as close as it got. he still rly likes it, we both do, but his solid favc is now definitely yoi. representation matters and all) and was like well now i HAVE to watch it and i was all yes it ends soon so pls. and he watched it twice in a weekend, and thrice before the finale came out, and then a few more times after that, iunno how many times but certainly more thn i have(i went back after the .. maybe ep 10? w/e ending had the after party reveal that changed everything, so i went back to analyze everything before the next ep) and between the week of 11 and finale 12, he started watching the sochi fs competition, and then the 2010 after the show ended w ep 12. 

seeing this great fs show and getting a friend into the world of figure skating really renewed my love for it all. before the semester went out i went back and watched the reruns of the sochi fs stuff. and by may i’d decided i wanted to cosider that to be the sport i worked with.

with diving, it took a similar twist. in the form of the rio 16 olympics. i was all over that shit, i downloaded an nbc app on my phone so i could watch events live while i traveled with volleyball to a tournament in dallas and while i was at practice w them at home and generally jus away from the house and a tv. i planned that shit out had a schedule and everything for what i was watching live, and a lot of it was swimming, but a whoooole lot of live stuff was the diving. 

in the hotel room in dallas the tv would always be on to w/e olympics events were airing at the time, either track or diving tho, one or the other, or recaps. quite a few girls ended up in the room in the evening and we’d all do stuff and watch in passing at the same time, and it was suuuuuper fun. watching the chinese women perform flawlessly and walk away w all the gold was fun, but finding a good commentator to actually say such was a disheartening challenge( one of the most memorable moments w live commentary that year was hearing a woman say of one of the chinese ladies that she’d done better before, after they revealed her personal best score ever like rly cmon be unbiased and jus passionate abt the sport youre covering pls.

ive always been super fond of the diving scene. it may not be as much as fs, but honestly, i wish i grew up in an area w a diving team now, or wish i could try it out now, bc thats how much fun it seems. i still wanna go up to the big city like 30min away from uni and learn to ice skate in the civic center there, but hands down if i had to pick a sport to join tomorrow or die i’d pick diving. 

so also by may, and throughout the culmination of senior year, diving was the second sport on the olympic to-train-for list. you get a five-year contract w the olympics, now i think it’s usa as a whole and i think its by center so say, if i get a job in colorado springs i cant apply in another five years to chula vista or even like lake placid, but iunno for sure. the five-year thing is involved somehow bc i’ve heard it from a physical therapist and trainer-that-works-in-a-sports-med-clinic duo in one body named sarah, who’s been contracted out from the clinic by my high school since junior year also, bc she knows people who’ve worked w the olympics, and then another from church that worked w olympics that knows my family uh iunno how well but i know of him, i think he also works in the clinic as some sort of on-hand surgeon but a diff person than who sarah knew. so its five years somehow and then i’ll take my bfa in gd and open my online business and do that from a studio at home and look after my owl/cat pet combo.

since may, it had been ‘olympics, with either figure skating or diving’. and it stayed that for a long time. now, since a couple weeks ago, and this is again while gp season is happening for fs, its diving. i wanna work w the usa olympic diving team as their team athletic trainer, and i cant do it this summer bc i have to have completed two years of uni, instead of a certain standing, like be a junior, but so NEXT summer, before my senior year of uni, (i came in a sopho so 6 sem only ah) i’m applying for an internship at the center in colorado springs, and that’s the team i hope i work with. 

now i tell people, diving, but if i get offered figure skating, i’ll take it, but diving is the goal now. if i love it and wanna continue professionally, great, i can do that and have an online gd shop. and if i decide i want something different? i’ll work olympics and then join w a professional-level figure skating i actually dunno how it works. coach, and their skater in turn. coach, with multiple skaters under them. a culmination of diff usa skaters. w/e, something in the professional fs world.

and thats uh, thats it! dive has been so much fun to watch, and i realize i talk a lot on here about working w basketball and being an at student in general and the vast majority have no idea what i mean, so hopefully this clarifies. thank you!!

[survivingjapan]

EPISODE 5 “Can’t we just bring the crazy 15 year old in? Why is that so hard?” - Sarah

The internal struggle is real rn. Do I throw Alex under the bus and secure my safety? Or do I try to sit back and hope a new target emerges?

I don't know how many people know this, but I try to write a big piece of bullshit before every tribal to release if I'm the one voted out. Here's the one from tonight.... First of all I just want to say thank you to the hosts and to my fellow competitors. Now I'm going to expose some snakes. (Please don't hate me people, I just want to blow the game up while I'm leaving). -Linus, Alex, and Tommy are in an alliance -Jonathan HATES Richie and Alex -Jaiden has told me that he has an idol -Crow, Sarah, and Brian have an alliance -Of the 3 mentioned above, Crow and Sarah have a F2 -Tommy is by far playing the best strategic game -Junior is playing an extremely well social game -Brian is connected to the heroes on MANY levels and he'll flip to them at a tribe swap -Linus also has a good social game -Jaiden is messy as fuck

hi my name is im fucked how r u?

BIIIIIITCH I'M GOING FOR MY OTTNN5 EDGIC I'M NOT FUCKING AROUND RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!! (but hopefully i at least get a CPM) The vote was 4 votes Alex. 4 votes Kage. 1 vote ME. 1 vote tommy. 1 vote Jon. theres a tie, brian gets the rock drawn and my stupid ass was like wait my names not on the list and that alone should make me a hero for being an honest bitch but then redo and jaiden leaves and bam i ERUPT.  in the main chat i'm like YO WHO VOTED WHO LETS GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT!!! Jon/Crow/Junior all say they voted for alex, Linus says he voted for Kage and I say i voted for kage so thats 5/11 votes accounted for and i cant believe anyone actually listened to me and revealed their vote in the tribal chat lmao WILD i was completely left out of this vote and everything thats been happening on this tribe so its clear im on the bottom and with my name being thrown around at this vote whether i was actually a possible target or a decoy that shit isnt okay im not in the long term plans for ANYONE on this tribe so i have nothing to lose worst case scenario i put a big target on my back and i go out next and if that happens at least i didnt go out as a useless pawn in anyones game and its because i did something but what im hoping is to gain information (which i did because i found out how everyone voted within an hour after tribal) and 2. i wanted chaos so everyones mad at someone like kage voting jon was a big win bc that furthered their fight thats been alive since day 1 after that i went on a bit of a pity tour where i went to everyone and like was like "i feel so alone and isolated and no one trusts me and i just feel like i havent done anything to prove that you shouldnt trust me i just want to be included" just trying to make people feel bad lmao im so worked up its been 2 hours since tribal and i literally havent stopped ive been at a 100 out of 10 with everyone and im going to need to cool down and lay low but while i have momentum i caaaaant just sit around and do nothing so i guess we'll see what consequences my outbursts have had???? 

idk how to explain what just happened

I've wrote myself a hit list of people who ARE going home before me.... Jonathan Richie Linus Alex Tommy Brian

So after a few hours of info gathering I think I have bits and pieces of what happened in that last vote.... So the alliance of 7 (Myself, Jonathan, Sarah, Tommy, Brian, Jaiden, & Junior) were supposed to vote for Alex. However, Jaiden, being bored with the game or feeling outcast at the bottom decides that this is merely a ploy to get us to throwaway our votes. Then, he approaches various people, which I know to be Brian, Linus, and Junior (at least) about the possibility of still voting Kage. Whether this was to insight chaos or division for entertainment or strategy, I don't know.... Meanwhile, Alex is feeling on the outs as he's a smart player and observed it so he threw a vote at Tommy. Whether this was because he knew it would force the vote to tie or simply because he didn't like Tommy and wanted to give him a parting gift, I also don't know.... Jonathan, Tommy, myself, and Sarah stuck to the plan to vote out Alex (however, Sarah doesn't want to expose her vote in public and cause a confrontation between her and Junior considering Junior lied about his vote too....) Kage voted Jonathan in the same regard that Alex did. (Again, I don't know if it was planned or not or if either had connections to Jaiden's plans, but they both threw away their votes despite them being clear targets.....sketch....) Which means that someone threw a vote at Richie and is not fessing up about it. Richie voted Kage because I'm sure that's what everyone told him to do (as we were supposed to) and he was just alone. The vote for Richie, in my opinion, was likely Jaiden, given his rep for paranoia and throwing votes away to avoid rocks/idol plays (ironic, huh?) and that Junior voted for Kage as a part of Jaiden's plan considering there's a strong possibility that him and Linus are connected.... So right now, I trust Tommy, Jonathan, Alex, Sarah (but I'm also a little worried as to why she doesn't want to tell the truth to everyone....) and honestly, still Brian because I can relate to his position.....I want to build trust with Richie but we're not there quite yet. My targets would be Kage and Junior as of now. Kage just....just needs to go and Junior is a massive rat with a few too many strings on this tribe. Either or, I don't care which one goes first.... Or I'm totally wrong and still aligning myself with rats =)

I got REALLY lucky yesterday, however I also lost my closest ally in the process.  And I told him I would slay the rest of this game for him, so I must avenge Jaiden (who I will confessional-ize about all the time!).  I had some major damage control and I just pushed over and over again that I voted Kage, the truth, so that people would trust me more.  I hope they do still trust me, and I do think they realize that I'm still useful to most of them.  I grew insanely close to Richie after that happened, and the two of us will most definitely be working together.  Linus still trusts me, and I think Alex might still trust me to an extent.  Kage and I are probably done which is fine.  Junior is a snake or so I think.  Tommy doesn't not trust me, he just probably won't trust me as much.  But he did know about the Kage vote, so I didn't completely shock him.  Sarah and Crow need me, I think.  Jonathan needs me.  I hope my thoughts on all this are right djskahsd.

OK LISTEN THE FUCK UP HUNTIES!! IM ABOUT TO SPILL ALL THE GOOD TEA AND HONESTLY I WOULD HAVE DONE IT ON A VIDEO BUT MY PHONE! IS A POS AND apparently i have too many videos already? ANYWAYS SO I HAVENT MADE A CONFESSIONAL AND WEVE GONE TO TRIBAL COUNCIL THREE TIMES VILLAINS ARE A MESS HONESTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so the first vote was between brian and pat and then i messaged brian and i was like heheh i wannt to keep u so crow and i went around talking to ppl to see how they felt (crow and i didnt plan this out btw i guess we both just wanted to keep him?) SO THEN PAT WENT HOME! on a 9-3-1 vote ash self voted kage(mess), tommy and pat voted brian and the rest of us voted pat so anyways then WE FUCKING LOSE AGAIN!?!? are these heroes on steroids? idk? anyways! we gotta go to tribal council again and at this point im kinda like ok i feel fine.....AND DO U WANNA KNOW WHY??? crow and brian and I have an alliance jaiden and jr and I have an alliance tommy felt bad about being in minority and not listening to me for the pat vote so we have pledged our f2 together and he is literally the light of my life...i cant tell if he feels the same but boy do i love this boy...hes my ned pt 2 anyways so jonathan decided that he wanted a majority alliance with crow, brian, me, him, jaiden, jr andDD TOMMY !!! LEGIT ALL THE PPL IM ALLIGNED WITH SO IM IN THE FUCKING MIDDLE AHHHH SCREAM SCREAM BITCH THE FUCK CREAM CHEESE SCREAM so that works out ...obv i dont like jaiden or jr bc they fucking suck anyways so we all vote together to vote out ashley ... and kage and richie and linus and alex are just there i heard there have been an alliance with alex, kage, linus and tommy -which tommy doesnt like btw i know jr and linus are a thing richie and alex are prob a thing everyone is connected and tbh i dont really care for any of these players except for tommy...and Id like to add crow to that list but we all know hes a mastermind so ...i aint a dumb bitch SO ANYWAYS NOW ONTO THE THIRD VOTE...WE HAVE MAJORITY AND WE DECIDE TO VOTE OUT ALEX well DOESNT THAT GO ASTRAY jaiden decided to vote out kage, brian voted with him so basically heres how the voting went (hopefully im correct) crow-alex jon-alex tommy-alex sarah-alex kage-jon richie-kage brian-kage jaiden-kage linus-kage jr-richie alex-tommy but everyone thot i voted out ....richie..and I KNOW IN THE BOTTOM OF MY FUCKING HEART THAT JR IS LYING!! AND HE WONT ADMIT IT and heres why i know hes lying and hes a snake a rama 1) he put ashleys name out there on the second vote-he got scared it was gonna come to bite him in the ass so he told ppl "hes hearing ashleys name" 2) he has a clear alliance with kage and has been trying to keep him this entire time when its obvious no one likes him !?!? 3) he told kage that ashley went around saying kages name LOL which is funny so now kage hated ashley and they both hated eachother and tbh idrc if jr wants to make stupid obvious moves like this to pit two idiotic players against one another but hey ! like ...as long as u aint trying ur shit with me then idfc about u bitch 4) he voted richie and hes lying...like fucking stop? so anyways BECAUSE JAIDEN AND JR ARE UGLY AF INSIDE AND OUT I NOW NEED TO AMEND TIES WITH FUCKING ALEX bc him and i had an agreement of f2 :c so i tell him i voted him and that i didnt want to lie and then he wants a majority alliance with me, crow, brian, linus and richie !!! which im down for like bitch im not gonna turn down an alliance!?! but i will tell tommy about this bc i like that alex and tommy both dont like eachother hehe but alex is def playing middle but ill just let him think hes being slick BUT ANYWAYS I WAS BORED AT 1 AM LAST NIGHT SO GUESS WHAT I DECIDED TO DO ... look for the idol... so it went a little something like this me: josh i know ur online LET ME SEARCH FOR IDOL josh: yes hello wanna search me: YES josh: ok! me: josh pls give me an idol pls josh *crickets* josh: Congratulations! You have found the Modoru idol. This is a special idol with special powers. This idol, when played, will restart the round to before the last immunity challenge, halting the tribal council, resulting in no elimination from the game. The immunity challenge will be reconducted, and the game will continue as normal. It is important to note that is idol must be played before the votes are read, at the same time as a normal idol. If any other idol is played in addition to this idol, it shall be returned to it’s owner. me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HAVE A FUCKING FISH IDOL anyways ya so thats what u missed on glee

The Heroes showing up to slay the villains in the challenge honestly I dont know whats my more favorite thing, winning immunity or watching the villains descend into madness

We won immunity again out of luck..... woopdy freakin doo. I feel kinda bad for the heroes because the Villains are having all the FUN and I wanna be included in on the fun, but I do have to keep reminding myself that no matter how eager I am, it's good that I've been immune these few times because, eventually, if I make it there, I'll have to go to every single tribal council, and knowing how horrific I am under pressure when it comes to individual immunities, I probably won't win many of those. But one good thing did come out of this round, and it's the fact that Kendall painted a bigger target on her back if we were to go to tribal, and it's to get her the fuck out of here. I know she's a strong player, and taking this opportunity to take her out, without even cutting the legs off of her body (and by that I mean taking out Ruthie first, so she feels safe and then stabbing her in the throat), but since Kendall is making it so easy to just target her dumb ass, I guess that'll work too and maybe I can now look into using Ruthie as an asset in this game, especially since she's so nice, she seems really loyal and doesn't have many social skills going around according to what I'm hearing from the tribe. Maybe it's time to start building that final relationship in our tribe, so I can use it in case we swap tomorrow, which I'm highly speculating

I also think it's about that time where I start picking up those strong relationships with those Villains like I had night one, especially if we're swapping tomorrow. I want to keep conversations raw and not too deep. Like a "Good Luck at tribal" and see if it'll spark anything. I've been consistently talking to Tommy, Linus and Crow, but I also know Tommy has been having consistent conversations with members of our tribe, and honestly, there's a chance I might slip this information to Crow to see if he can take out Tommy, especially because he's a winner. OMG THIS CONFESSIONAL JUST GAVE ME A BRILLIANT IDEA. Let's see if I can low-key just plant the seed to get him the fuck out of here and see what's up :)

Drew and Alex C. hosting a main season TOGETHER during Japan? Mood. This is from after me winning the duel. Oops forgetting to submit it from last round

BY THE MOTHERFUCKING GRACE OF JESUS CHRIST I SOMEHOW GOT THE IDOL CLUE WITH AN 8% CHANCE OF IT POTENTIALLY GOING TO ME (ya know.... 1/12 #math). I know it's in the meadow based off of the clue, and lucky for me I already searched there once, so I've got a 1/3 shot of finding it........ AND I FUCK IT THE FUCK UP. Essentially I have two options here, either go to one of my closest allies (Steffen or Trace) to search for the idol as well in the space I told them to, and then they hopefully will it over to me, OR I just wait until next round and HOPE I'm still on Heroes beach (despite the high speculation of a swap), and just hope that I can search again to better my odds. I decided there's no time like the present, so I run to Steffen and Trace, but Steffen answers first, so lucky for Steffen, and I tell him the predicament, and he goes to look for the idol and nada. Now at this point, I just gotta wait it out because I think there's a decent chance we won't be swapping, and that would be incredible for my game because then I can actually go for it now and find out if it has been found or not. I'm getting the feeling that at the fifth round of this game, either someone got a secret idol clue during their search (which is very possible) or that someone got DUMB lucky. Either way, I'm keeping optimistic at this point and praying that shit goes my way. ~Cheers to not a swap~

Also, fucking Tommy keeps messaging me about swapping tribes and wanting to abandon ship with the villains because it's essentially him and Kage vs everyone else. I'm not really sure if this is true, especially because he has fucking won this game before, but I'm going to assume, based on what's been told to me, that it is actually Tommy and Kage vs the tribe, and I think it'll be an interesting tribal tonight, with it being likely that Kage goes home. On a totally different note, I decided to try to utilize my relationship with Crow on the villains tribe, and let him know that A LOT of Heroes have been getting messages from Tommy nonstop, and as much as I think he's nice, the second I found out about Tommy messaging ALL the heroes, and not just me, it made me realize that I don't really think I can trust him and that he's gotta go. I wonder if Crow is going to be taking my advice, or maybe cutting the legs off of Tommy, but Tommy can be a huge tool for me that I can use against the Villains if I end up on a swapped tribe that could fuck me over in numbers, but with Tommy, I've got a shot. As of now, I think Kage is going from what Tommy told me, which means that Tommy is likely next on the chopping block, and he's been talking to me A LOT about mutinying, but I'm not really sure he can do that, but if he can, and he chooses to, there probably won't be much stopping me from booting him out of our tribe almost immediately. We'll see how tonight goes because I'm HIGHLY skeptical about it, but I've got faith that we're not swapping because our tribe declared that Dom is competing in this duel for our tribe, and idk if the hosts are fucking with us or not, but if they are, then kudos to them because I don't know what to think at this point

https://youtu.be/6yiILcktIqo

#returnrevengeredemption #confessionals