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#i literally stayed alive for this moment
booasaur · 4 months
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Vigil - 2x06
#vigiledit#bbc vigil#amy silva#kirsten longacre#suranne jones#rose leslie#vigil spoilers#vigil 2x06#amy x kirsten#femslash related stuff#okay so I hadn't been feeling well saturday night so when the eps dropped I literally just watched the last scene on iplayer#just to make sure nobody freaking died#and it was amy saying I'm coming home on the phone#and given the ''come home''/''I can't'' moment in the trailer I thought amy was legit gonna stay in wudyan these whole last 3 eps#which I didn't love the idea of I truly wanted an amy/kirsten reunion but I was like oh maybe rose leslie's pregnancy interfered#as long as they're both alive and we got that lovely scene in ep 2 it's fine#so this was all a COMPLETE surprise even more than usual#I made it a twist to my own self#and then it was like the perfect hurt/comfort scene you'd want for an action detective couple like this!#amy so focused on the job and then dropping everything to rush to kirsten's side#sitting there all night and that classic waking up in the chair next to the hospital bed scene#and they even had their cake and ate it too by having amy *choose* kirsten over the job#only for kirsten to then push her back to it#and going from this soppy soft teary version of amy to a pissed off black suit badass#because they'd hurt her girl#such a good couple to build a series like this around#lol amy really didn't want to leave!#she's just sitting and gazing at kirsten#man those years ago kirsten would never have imagined getting to see amy like this and meaning so much to her
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soupkiddo · 2 months
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tried to put myself in the headspace of a transphobe and got pissed off cus it's so fucking stupid
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s0fter-sin · 7 months
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shepherd saying, “war isn’t about friends, it’s about enemies” when friendship is the main reason the 141 find all the missiles and take down hassan just scratches a lovely itch
laswell is able to find out hassan’s in mexico and working with the cartel bc of her friendship with price and gaz, who are already in amsterdam. they’re able to get the jump on him and find out about him shipping the missiles over the atlantic bc of her friendship with alejandro. price and gaz are able to fly to al mazrah in time to intercept aq bc of price’s friendship with nik and they’re able to get laswell back bc of their friendship with farah. soap makes it through las almas and eventually kills hassan in chicago bc he successfully befriended ghost, who stayed behind at his own risk and kept giving him advice he wasn’t required to give
the real treasure was literally the friendships they made along the way
#i didnt expect friendship to be such a core theme in call of duty of all things yet here we are#and its even a personal character arc for ghost#he goes from literally being alone in the games intro to having a team named after him#a team that he trusts with his face#from being so obviously unhappy at having to work with soap to opening up and letting himself get closer to him#and even to a lesser extent alejandro and graves#just to be betrayed by graves#his utter panic at seeing soap injured after being so annoyed by him in al mazrah just hits so hard#and going back to his old behaviour and leaving soap behind just to feel guilty and stay to help him get out is just 🤌🏻#letting soap lead him through the cameras is an olive branch and apology all in one#just him going i trust you to get me through this alive just like you trusted me#like i shouldve trusted you in las almas#just dozens of tiny moments that all boil down to friendship and trust and shepherd only seeing enemies completely blinds him#and ultimately leads to his downfall#‘we dont bury each other do we’ thats the throughline of the entire campaign#even graves not trusting his shadows enough to tell them theyre transporting missiles#maybe if they knew that theydve been more cautious and not been caught off guard by the russians#and hassan never wouldve gotten his hands on them#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#call of duty#cod mw2#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#ghost mw2#soap mactavish#soap mw2#soapghost#general shepherd#kate laswell#we’re a team. ghost team
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iceeericeee · 5 months
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Y’all ain’t ready for the next part of ‘Don’t Go Downstairs’
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simmaster · 4 months
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saw someone describe tommy shelby as a "socialist king" hello? tommy shelby? socialist king? you think thomas michael shelby obe the ultimate class traitor is a socialist king? either this person stopped watching after season two or they have some sort of brain injury because what the fuck are you talking about
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kennabeth · 6 months
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dustfinger: I love all of my children equally, brianna, farid, and [looks at smudged writing on hands] john
#tcor spoilers#HATE that there was no actual resolution this#i understand fully that it can be difficult when your partner's child (who is not also yours) looks like their other parent#feelings are hard to change! sure!#but: roxane is friends with her husband's affair partner. atp he has no right to show any hurt over her remarrying#and that includes taking it out on jehan#he doesnt say himself that theres any resentment (which is odd bc he loves telling us all his shitty thiughts usually; too stressed out#for self reflection right this second?)#but nyame talks about how obvious and infuriating it is#not to say jehan's making it up (i would never never never doubt my babiest boy) but it's bad enough that people outside the family see it#('outside the family' it's his uncle but outside the home ig)#where was i going with this#having a was-hoping-id-find-the-end-of-this-thought-when-i-came-to-it moment#oh right the lack of self reflection made me wonder if dustfinger knew he was acting like this at all#and i was PRAYING for nyame to chew him out over it#there were so many good spots for that conversation too#when df was practically dead for the third time and jehan stayed with him to make sure he didnt actually die#i expected 'i dreamed about you burning alive every night for ten years' levels of dustfinger being yelled at from jehan#and we literally?? didnt get a single chapter from either of their povs at that time?? what the actual fuck man#okay not to be like 'i could write this better' but a way more satisfying conclusion to everything that started#with nyame saying the two of them are so similar#would have been [jehan rightly makes dustfinger feel bad about continuing to be a terrible father] -> [jehan storms off to orpheus' to#'offer' dustfinger in exchange for the book but the adults dont know where he went] -> [nyame comes back and also yells at df#for letting his kid run off and drive home that he really is failing jehan and points out to him their similarities] ->#[df goes oh shit i also tried trading innocent people for a book] ->#[whatever. resolution]#do u see what i mean#his ~apology~ to meggie in book 2 is so good while being in character#and he cant apologize to his stepson? he barely fking knew meggie lmao#says kenna
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🪶
#not to be weird on main but jaysteph hallmarkesque fic where it's like. steph has been away at college#and comes back to gotham on holiday break absolutely jonesing to get back into ''the family business'' aka vigilantism#she and jason were childhood acquaintances (schoolbus theory!!!) and worked together a bit before she went to school#steph has an argument with tim about something stupid (no they're not dating at this point they're just besties and both a bit petty)#so they're at odds and the whole family is a bit tense bc there's a Big Case going on and B is away on JL business#(B has promised he'll be back in time for Christmas. he is SCRAMBLING to keep this promise.)#anyway: cue steph deciding to make things a little easier on dick by handling arrangements for The Christmas Eve Gala TM#and recruiting jason (who is honestly just along for the ride/lowkey keeps mom-friending literally everyone in the absense of bruce)#they end up doing Shenanigans while trying to pull this event off and not cause any more trouble for alfred#while also working that Big Case during the nighttime and dealing with regular Family Tensions.#steph is also conflicted about transfering back to gotham u or staying with her current program that isn't really doing it for her#(jason is also considering enrolling in college now that he's legally alive again and is struggling a little with Being Alive)#at some point they end up reminiscing about their shenanigans as kids who rode the same schoolbus#and there's this really emotional moment like ''sometimes i wonder why I'm even allowed to be alive. why did we get to come back''#and all that. steph has a mild existential crisis brought on by emotions running high and sleep deprivation#thats basically her asking how she's able to go to college. she should have brain damage after being technically dead for minutes like that#and jason is like ''i DID have brain damage'' and they just look at each other and it's like this *zing* moment#like hotel transylvania skkdfnskfnsk#anyway yeah college girl steph home for the holidays falling for the guy she used to sit with on the bus??? i am Thinking#also samsung needs to give me a starling emoji smh
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trans-leek-cookie · 3 months
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can someone teleport me to the poolrooms and shoot me so my blood is staining the pristine tiles and water. Nothing should be alive there
#Jesus Christ I just realized that ur cells might temporarily live on after You The Person die. Like i guess it depends on what counts as#Alive but even when ur heart stops I'm guessing ur red blood cells might stay active???? Not to mention the bacteria in your gut#Me: wouldn't it be so cool if there was blood in the poolrooms bc they're so surreal and pristine and the blood would both break that#And yet be perfectly fitting moreso than any living being? Wouldn't that be cool?#(realizes that even after ur brain shuts off your cells probably won't die in perfect sync and some might survive even briefly after YOU di#And that's what causes some sort of existential anxiety attack) what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck#Seriously though sorry if I sound like an edge lord but i want to put blood in the poolrooms bc it sounds so beautiful. The red blue#Contrast and the staining of the tiles itches my brain just right. It's not something you could make a story about it's something you have#Take on it's own. Like you have to let it be an image whether written or drawn it can't be (primarily) a story. Like there's an implied#Story (who took a gun into the poolrooms) but you have to prioritize the spectacle rather than the series of events#Does this make sense? Writing about someone being teleported to and murdered in the poolrooms is fine but#The simple... It's not shock but the way a dead body with deep red blood either laying on the tile or floating in the pool#There's a story but the story pales in comparison to the single snapshot of the moment. I should've been a fish#Like a pufferfish with a beak so I could eat clams I saw a pufferfish eat clams in person one time and it was fuckin incredible literally#Life-changing. It's just like ok. Yeah ok thats right that's how it's supposed to be. I understand now
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cinnabeat · 10 months
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gonna watch atsv later today :)
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babygirlgiles · 2 years
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📓
Omg thank you for the ask and the opportunity to rant about my all time favorite daydream fic!
I have been daydreaming about this one forever, it's gone through so many iterations and morphed so much since the first time the idea "omg but what if Willow and Tara had a gay little farm" popped into my head, but it still is The Gay Little Farm fic in my mind until I hopefully come up with a better title lol.
The Gay Little Farm is a gothic horror-y story set in a canon-divergent AU where Willow doesn't go back to Sunnydale after season 6. The fic itself is set several years down the line, after Sunnydale has been destroyed, when-- after spending some time learning more about herself through traveling, living with various covens, going to community college in San Francisco, and eventually getting a degree in computer science and working for a robotics lab-- Willow has recently bought a small farm in New England (I was missing Massachusetts when the idea was first conceived, don't judge lmao. Plus you can't really beat the ambient horror vibes of rural New England).
By the time the fic starts, Giles is the only one of the group that still talks to her. Buffy and Xander were pretty pissed about her decision to not come back, but Giles supported it ultimately because he felt all her emotions in Grave, so he understands the depths of her anguish and understands that she really doesn't know herself anymore, and supports her trying to figure out who she is on her own terms. (Also, he supports her because I asked the very essential question: "what if the btvs writers had decided to leverage how similar Willow's trajectory is to Giles's backstory even the teeniest tiniest bit?" lmao).
Throughout this time, they've emailed each other extensively, like nearly every day, but when Willow's emails start to become less and less frequent after buying the farm, Giles doesn't really think much of it; he knows she's busy trying to get everything set up to be an operational growing season, and that she doesn't have an internet connection at her new house yet so she has to go into town to email him.
It's explicable, so he doesn't worry about it until one day he gets several increasingly bizarre, almost unintelligible, concerning emails in very quick succession.
(lol I'm gonna put a read more because this got long lol. But if anyone else wants to send me one of these ask games : Put “📓” or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I’ll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven’t written but daydream about.)
She doesn't reply to any of his emails, doesn't answer the phone so he gets on the first flight across the Atlantic to go check on her (it's partly panic, but partly because he's not really pleased with where his life is at the moment anyway, but I won't get into that, this is already getting too long lol, just let it suffice to say he's glad for the excuse to just pack off to somewhere else suddenly). But when Giles gets there, Willow seems perfectly fine. She says she doesn't even have any clue what he's talking about when he tries to bring up the emails, and he figures she must just be embarrassed or something and not want to talk about it, so he drops it.
He decides to stay at the farm for a bit to keep an eye on her and make sure she's okay, but the longer he's there, the more and more weird things start happening. Even as he falls into the rhythms of life on her little farm and gets comfortable there, he can't shake the feeling that something is very wrong. He's having bizarre dreams that are becoming increasingly prophetic, even though there's absolutely no way he should be having prophetic dreams. He starts remembering things-- or at least they feel like memories, but they're certainly not things that ever happened to him. One night, he catches Willow in the middle of what looks like a blood magic ritual, but when he stops her, it's like she wakes up from sleepwalking and has absolutely no recollection of what happened. He's suspicious of Willow and what she might be doing, but also increasingly convinced the house is working some kind of dark magic on them both, so he sets out to research the place. But the nearby town clerk's office, the town's historical society, everywhere he can think to check has absolutely no record of this house existing.
Anyway, I won't spoil what is actually going on with the house because I am for real going to write this (I sort of started a while ago, but as I watched more of the show, my plot and ideas changed SO much). But really, at its core, everything that's going on with the house is about processing their grief, about building a life, about them repairing their relationships, and about the two of them having to come together to do all that by working together to figure out what's going on (although, Willow already suspects what's going on long before Giles even arrives, she just doesn't want to accept it...). The whole story is just like, what if Willow and Giles reconnected in adulthood and finally worked through some of their immense baggage about each other but also just their baggage in general? :) And also there was a farm. :)
#myfic#thank you so much for sending this i had so much fun answering!! love to share my stories about my little guys#once i finish the current big fic im working on#this is the next one i want to write so. keep an eye out.#literally i was actually so so close to entirely abandoning the idea about willow having a farm.#bc originally it was a willow and tara have a farm together and then giles comes to stay on the gay little farm with them :)#i literally probably thought of that watching s4 and then i remembered that tara was going to die and i was like :) idc :) farm :)#but I think the further i got the more like... idk it just didnt really feel genuine to the spirit of the farm and what i wanted to tell#for her to just be inexplicably alive? it just wasnt the story i wanted to tell#so then i was like okay :) Tara's spirit is on the farm :) and then Giles and Willow bring her back to life :)#and then I watched s6 and was like WOW. So apparently !! being resurrected !! fucking SUCKS!!!!!!!#and like. i couldn't do that to my girl I just COULDNT!!#and then i was thinking about it more the timeline made no sense it was like why is willow on this farm why is she on the farm alone#and by this point i had like. a considerable amount of Giles coming to visit her on the farm written lmao#but even tho i was like these are all good scenes and good writing like WHAT is the context WHAT is going on#and apparently backpacking is the best time to have fic ideas ever#bc i remember the exact moment where it came to me like a fucking epiphany just. oh. its canon divergent. its an s7 au.#i was out in the hammock watching the moon and scrambled back into the tent to get my notebook (almost woke my friend up in the process)#and was like frantically scribbling down how it all finally came together by moonlight in the hammock#so im glad i didn't abandon the idea and let it keep puttering around until the hammock worked its magic#I’ll also add. there’s an accompanying playlist. that I play while I daydream about it lmao.
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tidepoolalgae · 3 months
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#literally cannot stop thinking about my grandpa's face the last time i saw him alive#dementia and confusion but he recognized me and was smiling and holding my arm#and my mom was so done with being there#she was literally at the doorway while I was there with his arm still on me#and I had to pull myself away so she wouldn't leave me behind#I thought I was okay with it back then because I was able to be around generally#but now that moment is on repeat and I can't make it stop#I can't help but see his face I can't help but feel his grip on my arm#and I can't help but feel that invisible pull from my mom.. already leaving the room after being there for only 5 minutes#she tells the story all the time.. she had already knelt by his bedside and told him it was okay for him to die#that she'd be okay#but i think of that moment a few days later when we were there and she was leaving and I just followed. like a dog. like an object.#i couldn't say anything I just gently pulled my arm away from him#i cant help but think it was selfish I cant help but see his face#selfish. selfish. selfish. like a dog. like a puppy who wanted food.#like id never be able to get it anywhere else if i didnt follow her out of the room#like I could only consider her but he was looking at me#he was looking at me and then he was dead two days later#and I did want to stay but I couldn't.. my mom wanted to go so I had to go too#I couldn't even say anything#I always bend to her will.. god sometimes i just feel rotten#personal
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noisy-weasel · 7 months
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Man how do you explain to your parents that no I don't have a future like stop pitching all these ideas to me because you sound insane. Like I guess they genuinely don't realize how close to death I am. I'd already be gone but there's no knives in the house Sharp enough. Like that's the ONLY reason I am alive. Period. And the fact I'm still here is so fucking stressful because every second I'm still alive is money and energy my family is wasting on me and I fucking hate hate hate it. Honest to god forcing people who are horribly suicidal to continue living is a crime like every year I'm still here increases how awful I feel tenfold and I should be able to buy pills that can kill myself just over the counter and there's just no excuses that I can't
#i know that sounds insane but if you've ever been horribly social you'd know how sure i am of this#it's genuinely a for society to try so hard to keep me here but there's also no resources to make me better#no healthcare no therapists can't even get afucking antidepressant without a therapist#at Least while i was still on my dads insurance my doctor couldn't put me on any#and then he forwarded me too a therapist that ALSO didn't prescribe pills#i couldn't pay for the sessions because of course i can't so WHYYYYY AREN'T YOU JUST LETTING ME KILL MYSELF???#like do you see how this doesn't make sense????#personal#suicide tw#srsly tho my parents just trying to pretend I'm not suicidal but i am genuinely going to be dead before 30 that's not a Joke that's#something i know in my heart is true#i was actually all planned and ready to kill myself when my parents went up both in July but my mom got sick and stayed home#it literally ruined everything#ahhhhhggg being alive sucks so much i feel so broken and worthless#someone buy me a knife please please please please#and honestly i think it's gotten to a point where i view getting a job as death#because i know i NEED a job because I'm nothing but a burden but i also know the moment i have money I'm starting a ticking click to my end#new killing myself is simply inevitable so getting a job ill hate (i have no prospects bc college too expensive and barely any experience#which will simply funnel me into a soul crushing American retail job)#so it's just like okay... my paychecks will be going toward a knife or a gun and itll be literally imposible for me to live if i have a#means of dying
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empresskylo · 7 months
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➠𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈; 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓; 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓
ZOMBIE!SIMON 'GHOST' RILEY X AFAB!READER
SUMMARY | Simon is dead. And you were forced to leave him behind as the rise of the dead took over. When you volunteer to sneak back into base to grab med supplies, you don't expect to run into Simon—alive, but certainly not himself...
WARNINGS | dead dove do not eat! this is literally smut about zombie!ghost... so... beware i suppose. gore. dub-con?? afab!reader. wc 3k
⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ lock me up! send me to jail!!! i can't believe I wrote this yes i can. This is how down bad i am for Ghost, I literally wrote smut about fucking him as a zombie... someone send the authorities, i need my internet taken away. (happy oct 1st btw)
𝐜𝐨𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ✩ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
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It had been less than two days since you lost Simon.
The image of him dying in the infirmary wing, bleeding out on the bed, was plastered behind your eyes. You saw it every waking moment and even dreamt of it during the night. You could still feel Soap’s hands squeezing your arms far too aggressively as he dragged you out of the infirmary while you cried out for Simon. You tried to claw your way to him but Soap was stronger than you by a long shot. “We have to get out of here!” he shouted at you over the cacophony of voices, people running around frantically. You let him drag you away to safety, your body limp in his hold, thinking of Simon’s dying breath.
The infirmary had promptly been boarded up, the doors all sealed tight. The breakout had begun a few weeks ago and it only just infiltrated the base. When Ghost had come back, bleeding out after a mission gone wrong, you furiously checked him for bite marks. The relief you felt when you didn’t find any was short-lived. Simon had lost a lot of blood. Too much blood. You could still see it covering your hands the days following like a wraith. You felt like his blood was still wedged under your fingernails even after scrubbing your hands violently in a bucket of water. 
With the infirmary infected and the outside world gone, you had little options but to hunker down in the barracks. There were small hunting groups that would leave base and dare to edge into the city, trying to help people, and gathering resources. Ghost had been in one of those first groups to leave the safe confines of base. You wished you had begged him to stay. Pleaded with him not to go. 
The lights above you flickered, the generator not the most reliable of equipment. You looked across the table to your teammates, trying to keep yourself pulled together. It was only at night that you let yourself feel the pain, crying yourself to sleep. 
“We’re never gonna survive here if we don’t get that medical supplies,” Soap explained. 
“It’s too dangerous, Soap. We have no idea how bad it got in there. We have no way of knowing if all the bodies left behind turned,” Price retorted, pulling off his beanie and running his hand through his hair in nerves. 
“So, what then? We’re gonna send more men off to die, tryin’ to get shit from the city?”
Price closed his eyes momentarily. The bags forming under them showed just how little sleep he was getting. “We can’t risk more men. We’d be sendin’ them to their death, Soap. We don’t have the ammo to spare.”
“We don’t know that. We’re still not even sure if it's a guarantee the dead will change, or if they have to be bit.”
“It’s too–”
You cut the men off. “I can go.” Both their heads snapped in your direction. “I’m just a technician. With everything gone to shit, I haven’t been as much help as you guys have been. I can’t fight. I can’t–”
“No. We’re not riskin’ you,” Soap said sternly. 
“Soap,” you breathed. “I’m the only one here that isn’t crucial to the team. And don’t argue with me. It’s just a fact. Let me go. I can sneak in and grab what we need. I’m far quieter than any of you boisterous men anyways.”
Soap breathed your name. He was worried about you. He could see the pain in your eyes after losing Simon. He was worried this was a suicide mission. And that you wanted that. 
“Let me be of use,” you begged. Soap wanted to argue. So did Price. But you were right. You would be the fastest. And as much as they valued you, the remaining men couldn’t survive here without Soap or Price. 
“Lass, are you sure?” Soap said finally. He wanted you to feel useful, but he didn’t want you running off and risking your life because of the pain you felt from losing Simon. 
“Let me do it, Soap. Please. I need this.”
He couldn’t argue with you. He didn’t have it in him to hurt you more than you were already hurting. 
“Fine. But I’m not happy about this.”
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You stood in your gear, an empty backpack plastered to your back waiting to be filled with medical supplies. Price had gone over the layout of the wing with you, showing you exactly where you needed to go to get the right supplies on a map of the building. 
You stood before the infirmary doors, the ones that would lead to a long, winding hall that would bring you to the center of the infirmary. Off of that were several rooms and more halls, and a surgical floor. It was a large span of space to cover, but you believed you could do this. 
“Be quick about it, lass. We’ll be right here when you get back,” Soap said to you, his hand resting on your shoulder. 
You took in a breath and walked up to the doors that had been unlocked, a large piece of plywood that had previously been nailed against it, removed so you could go in. Before you reached out to the door handle, you turned around and rushed into Soap’s arms. He held you tightly, your head tucked right under his chin. “Don’t you fuckin’ die on me,” he mumbled into your hair. 
You pulled back and gave him a sad smile. Then you nodded at Price and faced the daunting doors again. Once you stepped through the threshold and the doors shut behind you, you could hear the plywood being put back up, a hammer nailing it in place. When you got back, you were to knock and Soap would be there waiting to let you back in. 
The hall was flickering with a few overhead lights, the generator still powering a few of the rooms in this wing. 
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Ghost had a glazed-over expression when he rolled off his medical bed. The room around him was silent apart from the ticking of a clock in the corner. There was blood pooled all around him and dripping onto the tiled floor as he stood. He had some semblance of who he was, of what happened, but most of his thoughts were hazed over like he was stuck in a daydream. 
He had walked the length of the room, a sudden craving for food hitting the pit of his stomach. Any sound made him snap in that direction, rushing towards it as if on cue. He heard banging coming from one of the med rooms, the door locked and nailed over with whatever scrap of wood they could find. More people like him were trapped behind those doors, their groaning echoing down the hall. 
Ghost limped as he walked, remembering how he had been shot in his leg. He looked down at his crimson-stained pants, almost like he should be feeling pain, but he felt nothing. 
Days had passed and he roamed the halls aimlessly, not even getting bored. His mind had drifted off, somewhere that wasn’t in his body, allowing him to walk around like a zombie, completely void of any logical thought. 
He grumbled as he made his rounds, stuck in a time loop, walking down the flickering hall again and again, passing by bodies that had been left behind. 
He hesitated when he heard something. He turned to look in the direction of the noise, intrigued. It sounded like someone had just walked blindly into a metal medical tray, knocking instruments onto the floor. His movements were fast and nimble as he approached the sound. 
He froze in place when he saw you–though he didn’t know who you were at that moment. You cursed yourself for being loud but didn’t hear anything in retaliation so you figured you were safe. Your hand rested on the knife strapped to your hip anyway.
You were edging towards the main infirmary double doors, your hand touching the metal of the handle. You should go in there and get supplies, but that’s where you had last seen Simon. You didn’t have it in you to see what had become of him, his body rotting alone. 
Instead, you walked down the hall and into a storage closet, oblivious to the shell of Ghost who trailed behind you. 
You left the door to the storage room open to let in a few strips of light so you could see better. You hunched over and began to dig through the supplies that had been thrown all over the floor in panic. 
Ghost rolled his neck as he saw you in the room, your back to him. He had a sudden urge to sink his teeth deep into your skin, to tear you to shreds. In fact, he wanted nothing more; the instinct was overpowering. 
But when he got close, he could hear your voice as you mumbled to yourself, going over the list of the items you needed. You held up a pack of linens, trying to see if they were clean. “These will have to do,” you said softly, shoving them into your backpack. 
A wave of familiarity surfaced inside Ghost, a strange feeling of being alive pumping through his veins. When he got to the doorframe, he could smell you. His senses heightened, the waft of your natural scent sent Ghost into a daze. He remembered—though he wasn’t sure what he was remembering. All he knew was that he recognized that smell. 
His body had felt like it was in hibernation, his motors set on autopilot as he mindlessly walked down the halls. But suddenly, Ghost’s true mind was brought to the forefront. And his body craved you, though not in the way he had just moments earlier. He didn’t want to sink his teeth into your neck, he wanted to feel your warmth against him. 
Ghost moved with such dexterity and silence, it was clear he was no longer human. When you stood, his arms immediately wrapped around you, eliciting a scream from your throat. 
Ghost still wasn’t fully comprehending what was happening; all he knew was that his body wanted you. His hand slid up around your neck, leaving a trail of blood on your clothes. He tried to speak, but he couldn't fathom what he wanted to say. All that came out was a strangled groan. 
You sputtered, trying to catch your breath as your heart raced in your chest. Ghost felt for your pulse beneath his fingertips, relishing in the way your blood pumped through your body. 
You turned your head slightly, spying the man who had you trapped against the many shelves in the closet.
It was Simon.
Terror flooded your system. He didn’t look like himself. His eyes were glossed over, his pupils and iris almost unidentifiable, the entirety of his eyes were white, appearing like he was blind. The blood that had soaked his face had congealed, the rusted color running down his clothes where he was shot in the chest and leg. He looked just how you left him, and it sent a sense of terror through you. 
“S-Simon?” You whispered, unsure if you were caught in a nightmare. 
A groan escaped his cracked lips. You gulped. He had become one of them . 
You were certain he was about to tear you apart, just as you had seen other fallen men do to your teammates. You closed your eyes, tears rushing down your cheeks as you prepared for the worst. His hands felt cold around your neck, like ice. You shivered against him. You accepted your fate—a small part of you actually wanted it. You wanted him to end you. To take you down with him. You didn't want to be alone anymore.
He nuzzled his nose against your neck and you squeezed your eyes shut, preparing for him to bite you. But it never came. 
Instead, he just moved his nose against you, smelling your hair and skin. His hands were still locked tightly against you, but they began to travel across your body. You opened your eyes in shock. Ghost’s hands trailed your chest, groping you with one hand, the other sprawling over the front of your thigh and stomach. You gasped in surprise. 
You felt him harden against you, something you had experienced many times before now, and the familiarity of it made your heart pound with mixed emotions. Your mind was too caught up trying to decipher what was happening to truly take the moment in. 
Ghost’s cold hands slid under your black shirt, snaking their way up to your breasts, cupping each one in his hands. Your nipples immediately hardened from the iciness of his touch. He ground himself against your backside, making you close your eyes in a moment of reprieve. You got lost in the past, imagining this was how it used to be. How he had touched you so many times before. 
You breathed his name and he seemed to like that, for he rolled his hips against you harder, his chest rumbling in satisfaction. 
The cold of his hands left you, making you oddly yearn to have them back on your skin. His fingers traced the hem of your pants before aggressively pulling them down. He got them past the curve of your ass and turned your bodies so your hips hit the edge of a shelving unit that acted as a table. You knocked all the supplies off as Ghost pushed you down against it, using your hands to catch yourself. 
Ghost shuffled with his own pants, wasting no time at all to slip himself inside you. You called out in a brief shock of pain. He held himself deep within you, his hands squeezing as he held you, his body bent over slightly, his chest flat against your back. Your own hands reached out to grab the edge of the table to help steady yourself. The searing heat of you against his frozen skin spread through him like wildfire.
Your cries ignited a flame in Ghost’s chest—the feel of your body, the sound of your gasps, the smell of your hair—felt natural, like this was exactly what he was supposed to be doing. That he was made to take you like this. That your body against him was something so ingrained in his system, that he had no choice to to let his limbs move on muscle memory. 
He began to thrust inside you, your hips hitting the table with each snap of his hips. His hand snaked around your neck, the smear of blood now coating your skin. One of your hands came up to wrap around his wrist, resting it there in support. 
You groaned as he rocked into you harder. The pain from his sudden intrusion had subsided, and now you were filled with a haze of rapture. A tear slid down your cheek. You were unable to process what was happening, but what you did know was that you had missed Simon more than anything and that this wasn’t real. This wouldn’t last longer than this moment in time. 
Ghost’s chest rumbled in pleasure as he thrusted into you. Your walls squeezed around him and he let out a loud groan. His arm not clutching your neck wrapped around your midsection, pulling you away from the table so you were flesh against him. He held you tight, almost like he couldn’t get you close enough. That if he had his way, he’d let you make a home beneath his skin. 
His hips snapped vehemently against you, his pace quickening. You moaned, your sounds coming out strangled as his cold hand held your neck. Your walls tightened around him, your climax rapidly approaching. You couldn’t quite believe that you were not only fucking your dead boyfriend, but you were going to come in record time. 
You were absolutely intoxicating to him as your warmth clenched down on him, your heat something recognizable to him, and yet, the intimacy was foreign at the same time. Now that he was devoid of his usual body temperature, the warm feeling of you around him was almost painful. 
When you mewled and cried under him, your walls spasaming, he drew himself to the edge right behind you. Ghost came inside you with a great urge, growling in your ear as he tried to support the two of you. You felt him fill you, the white fluid seeping out around where his cock continued to pump in and out of you. His movements became sloppy, your legs shaking, your hand clutching onto his wrist for dear life. 
You couldn’t hold back the cascade of tears, finally letting them flow as Ghost slowed his pace before stopping altogether. He edged out of you, his arms hesitantly letting you go, and you immediately turned around to face him, burying your face in his chest. You sobbed as he stood there. His arms didn’t reach out and hold you like he once would. He didn’t try to comfort you like he always did so well. 
But still, he just let you huddle against him, taking what you needed from him. He didn’t attack you. He didn’t try to kill you. He wasn’t himself, but he wasn’t fully gone either. You turned to look up at him, resting your chin on his chest. He looked down and you stifled a cry. His white eyes were going to be permanently burned into your mind, haunting you for eternity. His face was sullen and blanched, blood smearing all across him; fresh blood dripping slightly from his mouth.
You tentatively reached a hand up and rested it on his frozen cheek. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled. Ghost made no indication he could even hear you. 
You took in a deep breath, willing yourself to do this, and stepped back. You adjusted yourself before slowly reaching down for your bag. Ghost stood and watched you, the only thing moving was the tilt of his head as he traced your movements. 
You shuffled to the door, anticipating him to reach out and end this daydream, ripping you apart. But he just watched you go, his mind riddled with foggy thoughts. He wanted to tear into you, but another part of him prevented him from doing so. He wanted to grab you and hold you against him for some reason. He liked the warmth your body provided. But another part of him felt nothing at all. 
He watched you leave in a stupor, his mind just barely grasping onto the image and memory of you. It’s true, he wasn’t completely gone, but he was fading fast. 
You cried violently as you stumbled back to the exit. When you banged on the doors, you heard the plywood being ripped off and the doors swinging open. Soap pulled you back into the base and held you at arm's length. “What happened?” he asked desperately. You were sobbing and covered in blood.
Should you tell him? Would Soap let you return to Simon knowing he wasn’t gone? Or would they make you stay here, letting Simon slip away forever? 
You suddenly regretted leaving him. You should have stayed with Simon, even if he was a shell of who he used to be. You should have waited the time out together until he fully lost himself, and you would let him take you down with him. 
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messengerhermes · 1 year
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I don't know what abuse survivor needs to read this:
But I promise you're doing a better job than you give yourself credit for.
Whenever I handle a challenging emotional situation poorly, I get really down and ashamed of myself. This used to be way worse as a spiral. These days, it's still a feeling of being disappointed and uncertain eith myself but it's way better than it was.
But the truth is, I'm pretty sure people who didn't have anything traumatic or fucked up happen in their childhoods still sometimes act like donkeys in fraught situations, because that's part of being human.
You aren't especially messed up, terrible, or bad at relationships.
You're doing the best you can on a road where you started several miles back from everyone else, with a wheel less wagon and horses you had to go chase down yourself.
Take it easy on yourself.
0 notes
themagical1sa · 1 year
Note
I wanna hug you and tell you everything is gonna be okay
Isa, I hope you feel better. I know its probably gonna feel like empty words, but I hope everything will become better.
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I appreciate you and your message so much, Anza 🥹🫶💗 Thank you.
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fanby-fckry · 3 months
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🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow
23 hr. ago
adam is literally sinner coded because of his war crimes. but whatever
🍸 bar-cat75 Follow
23 hr. ago
Angel, I know this is a joke, but just remember that if you go knocking on enough doors asking to see the devil, eventually he’ll answer.
🍎 luci-goosey-666 Follow
1 min. ago
Hi! :D
#jumpscaring my denizens #irl source
( 4,564 notes )
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🎀 charlies-angel Follow
8 min. ago
New url now that the cat’s out of the bag.
moth-gf -> @.charlies-angel
🌈 hells-disney-princess Follow
8 min. ago
Awwwwww, babe!!! 🥹🥰💖
🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow
2 min. ago
gay
( 12 notes )
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💙 ozzie-king-of-lust Follow
1 hr. ago
Lmao I love how Adam fought the radio demon, the princess of hell, and Lucifer himself, but in the end the one to put him down is a two-foot tall cyclops with a knife and blood lust.
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💙 ozzie-king-of-lust Follow
58 min. ago
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@.jest-fizzarolli Fizzie Frog, you cannot leave this in the tags.
🐸 jest-fizzarolli Follow
57 min. ago
:3
#ozzie peer-reviewed my tags #is he biased? #yes #but idc ↯ #niffty lady ↯ #alastor the radio demon ↯ #adam ↯ #extermination day ↯ #extermination 2 electric boogaloo #jesters privilege #irl source
( 15,708 notes )
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🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow
12 hr. ago
if I make it outta this alive, I’m gonna tell my crush I’m in love with him.
🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow
2 hr. ago
fuck
#well well well #if it isnt the consequences of my own actions
( 173 notes )
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🐝 queen-bee-lzebub Follow
3 hr. ago
Nice try Heaven, but: L + Ratio + the power of friendship
#stay sinning stay winning babes!!! ↯ #extermination day ↯ #extermination 2 electric boogaloo #👑🐝
( 15,1253 notes )
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📺 voxblr4k Follow
3 hr. ago
Alastor is trending again, but this time for the right reasons (getting his ass kicked and running away like the cowardly little pissbaby he is)
So I guess I won’t be deleting this hellsite just yet
↯ #alastor the radio demon #shitposting in 4k
( 794 notes )
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📻 real-radio-demon Follow
4 hr. ago
I seem to have made what you might call an “oopsie daisy”
📻 real-radio-demon Follow
4 hr. ago
A real “cringe fail moment” if you will
📻 real-radio-demon Follow
4 hr. ago
I fucked up
↯ #alastor the radio demon ↯ #extermination day ↯ #extermination 2 electric boogaloo #real radio demon broadcasts
( 88,387 notes )
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💀 be-gay-do-crym Follow
5 hr. ago
hey is no one gonna talk about how a fucking rpf smut writer just killed adam the motherfucking archangel?
💀 be-gay-do-crym Follow
4 hr. ago
@.niffty-lady has over 1000 fics on archive of our souls including a 500k word explicit radiostatic enemies to lovers fic that allegedly caused infighting in the vees because vox wanted it taken down and velvette kept blocking his access
and she stabbed the leader of the exorcists to death
↯ #niffty lady ↯ #extermination day ↯ #extermination 2 electric boogaloo #her url is trending now so ig we are talking about it #cryms crimes
( 16 notes )
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❤️ moth-pimp Follow
8 hr. ago
people think I’m exaggerating when I say voxxy has a fetish for killing the radio demon. I wish those people could see him now.
🧁 rad-velvette-cakes Follow
8 hr. ago
fr
#hate boner doesnt even begin 2 describe it #radiostatic #vox ↯ #alastor the radio demon #rb
( 498 notes )
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📺 voxblr4k Follow
23 hr. ago
for 2nd extermination day I’m deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits
↯ #extermination day ↯ #extermination 2 electric boogaloo #shitposting in 4k #irl source
( 262,976 notes )
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⬜️ voxblr-meta Follow
23 hr. ago
Fanby’s Fake Dash Masterpost
#meta #fake tumblr dash
( 0 notes )
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