#i know they cant actually hold stuff

[washiinmachiine]

has this been done

#toh #the owl house #the collector #toh the collector #the collector toh #emperor belos #belos #belos toh #this is like all vaguely half assed #based on that one is that your fucking fursona? thats cringe meme #drawing the collector is so fun #i know they cant actually hold stuff #as a shadow #but i take creative liberties here #this is also the first time ive draw belos lol #i really enjoyed drawing the collector so happy :)

[quotidian-oblivion]

🎶I am filled with so much anxietyyy🎶

#quotidian convos #have a public speaking thing tomorrow #but the crowd isnt like my usual crowd #these are... actual professionals #accomplished people and leaders and people who are some of the best in their fields and jobs #and even though i'm only holding a 3-5 min activity (with a partner) #still doesnt change that this is my biggest audience yet #in terms of number as well as who they are #and also that every single person in the room are adults except me and my group #well its good to be in a group #i have a friend and we meet each other every other public speaking event #and she's so cool yall you dont even know #she's like one of THE coolest people i know #and her outfits are SMASHING #so cant wait to see her again!! #but yeah still filled with anxiety and nerves and stuff #*takes deep breath* it will be fine tho. it will be fine! #because as sprite said #public speaking is *my* bitch #(thanks sprite ^^)

[rapidhighway]

hey i might be controversial but im not really feeling the 12th doctor so far

#idkk idk what to thinkkk #i finished s8 today #im just nottt feeling ittt #i just think i might hate how moffat writes no matter what it is fdvxcdfdfv #i actually don't know WHAT is wrong because it's like... things i SHOULD be enjoying but im not it feels like its bad #idk idkkkk #i just feel there's something lacking and i felt the exact same way through the entire 11th doctor era #its just even worse now because i guess im tired #like im so desperate to enjoy this doctor like i did 9 and 10 and i just cant?? cant enjoy the companions and side characters as much eithe #idk man :( #i need to watch some older dw stuff and see if im idealizing the old episodes lmao #because i really want to have a fair opinion of this showww #heeeelpp ToT #i think i just dont like the writing? but i dont know enough about writing to actually say what's wrong #theres just something wrong #ouough #i still hold so much hope everyones always so excited about 12 and i was very excited and its just not ittt #ough ok byeeee #ok wait #like i think his personality is fine and stuff is fine it's just.. the stories? the way they present them? i dont knowwww #i just dont really like moffats dw i gues... #SAD

[sonknuxadow]

i swear to god sega must be choosing which 3d sonic games they wanna rerelease at random because none of their choices here make any sense when i said they should focus more on making the 3d games more accessible instead of re releasing the classic games a million times this isnt what i meant

#i mean the shadow parts of the trailer do have me interested now but im still confused about why they would do this at all #i said it all already but generations is a fairly recent game and the graphics still hold up well and its still somewhat accessible #its not in a situation where theres a bunch of stuff to change or its trapped on older consoles that barely anyone has these days #if generations was a super iconic game with a well loved story i would get it i guess but sonic generations is literally nothing story wise #there are so many other games that it would make more sense to bring back #also shadow??????? why is he the focus here he barely did anythign in generations #and generations whole gimmick is the classic and modern thing and you cant do that with shadow #whatever #like i said i am excited to see what theyre doing with the shadow levels actually im just confused you know

[malikselfindulgence]

Leavingout red velvet cake slices for unnamed alter 3 like a mouse trap except the trap is my friendly embrace . I am befriending you if its the last thing I do

#malik's rambles #lovingyoir alters is a form of self love and i am DETERMINED !!!!! #ifeel awkward posting about system stuff um . imsure literally no one gives a fuck . relax #fr thoughI hope they feel comfortable opening up to us soon like #I dont know the full extent of what happened to us and its really terrifying and horrible so I cant imagine actually holding #onto those memories . esp with how we saw pictures of our rapist recently and Im pretty sure it triggered them to front :[ #system stuff

[deeisace]

..

#sorry sorry I just woke up and im having yesterday-was-weird thought again #and they are going here so i don't have to talk to the person that they're um about yet #basically im glad that im in a good enough space now that um #someone ive ive had text-based sex with and uhhh sent an ill-advised video to in like oct when i was Feeling Bad™ and doing. hm. too much. #like 6 months post text-based sex/ill adised video now aha and we've not spoke at all since like january and that was 'how was hols' #they asked to meet up 'not for sex just as friends' or i forget exact wording but basically that #no-pressure museum not-a-date #and i said I'd think about it. because i am as everyone knows a fucking idiot. #basically im glad that im in a better place now than the last time someone like expressed an interest in me as a person #because while this did give me a day long wobble i didn't have a full weekend long actual panic about it #tho they are two v different situs #an ace poly friend asking to go out with me vs someone i uh virtually fucked aha um asking to meet up for (mostly) being-friends purposes #same several-hours-later 'oh god no what have i done bad bad bad no thank you actually no sorry i cant sorry' but less intense this time #but at least i only said ill think about it? #and not actually immediately said yes because it's nice to feel wanted #and then gone Maximum Regret™ because actually all of this is way too much i don't like it i don't want it thank you but im sorry no #weird. i guess i don't have such a high baseline stress level any more? since i'm not at uni n stuff #and someone over messages going no pressure you want to be irl friends (maybe fwb no pressure)? is um #is different. to someone irl going you want to go out acely? yeah? awesome lets hold hands here is the discord with a whole buncha people #i guess #but i am being equally aro-not-super-ace Autism™ about it aha #and i am. eventually. going to be like. thought about it and no sorry. eventually. #if they ask again #i am kinda hoping they'll leave it there and forget they asked so i don't have to navigate social stuff #im much better at navigating canals everybody leave me alone please thank you #(everybody over there leave me alone. y'know. you guys are fine.)

[shevr]

#feels like i shared this one b4 but i cant find it so idk so whatever #p.s. edit the date is cropped out oops this is from march actually #but still relevant yreeee #anyway whah ha h the core of my bullshit #like for like 2 years ive been more actively drawn to the feeling & the idea of like #yea idk being genuine and expressing yourself and just doing the things you want feels like what it's all about. #big start in all this was the stuff vyletpony was saying about the Antonymph song & the personal meaning / manifesto of it. you know #but i got nothin #like don't even feel like im rly holding anything back or having self-imposed barriers of shame or whatever. just nothing #like if you cracked open a dam and shit's all dried out so what was the point actually #feelin like an npc. nothin complex going on in there. surface level mechanisms #wah wah wah wahwah. #shevr

[the-yearning-astronaut]

.

#shouldn't have shoved aside the panic attack that was building last night #when I had to leave work during a massive snow storm #because that overwhelmed feeling carried over into today #and im exhausted and I'm about 2seconds from losing my shit but i cant AGAIN because i have to get ready for work #my shift starts in just over an hour lmao #and i feel like a raging bitch #all snappy and nasty #but really im stretched too thin #and im terrified #of not getting into grad school of this forever being my fuckin life #but also because my health is bad but my brother's is worse and i just watched something terrifying happen to him #(something in his neck temporarily dislocated) #and i just #im so SICK of everything being shitty #im so sick of our shitty medical system and how my brother cant find anyone to take him seriously and actually help him #and i go each day wondering if... if. and i can't handle it. and if i get into grad school I'll be leaving the state... #and if something..... #i know ive put my life on hold for my parents because im afraid of what ifs and my dad's health has ALSO been shit #(i love growing up with a parent that casually says stuff like I Wont Be Alive By Then. or When Im Dead-. all the time.) #and ive been terrified of leaving Just In Case. and every time my brother's health goes bat shit sideways again i freeze and panic #and I don't have TIME to panic or freeze rn but as im well aware the body will make you take a break if you don't make time for one #it's all BS & im tired & lost & i want so BADLY to get into this particular school but i feel Guilty for wanting to leave so fucking badly #idk what to fuckin do #☉ #tbd #im gonna cry. or be sick lol. maybe both.

[icewindandboringhorror]

finally settling once and for all... with the evidence laid out plainly.. which of these brother boys is more stinkys ,,,

#also please for the love of gourd do not take this seriously i am joking I do not hold any of these behaviors against my cats I know that #all cats are a little stinky and weird I have had cats all of my life I am not genuinely condemning my cats i am being silly please lol #(some of my goofy cat posts in the past will always get like.. one or two people taking an issue with something incredibly #mundane. like me saying a cat is being rude or somehting and someone being like 'um actually cats cant process the concept of #rudeness. he has no idea he did anything wrong!' ........ yes...... i am aware.. that my cat has the brain of a cat lol #ANYWAY.... polls!!! so excited to have polls.. I will try not to be annoyig but I just love asking random things to the general #public. in friend groups I am always the one asking people to taking surveys. quizzes. making surveys and handing them out. etc. #the rare times I can partially overcome my social anhedonia/inability to socially function properly/etc. is when I'm interviewing people or #socializing specifically in the context of like Information Gathering lol #I love running questionairres and stuff . even about the most mundane pointless topics. there's just soemthing really interesting #about like....... being able to ask people stuff and then look at and analyze the results. #Even though that's an incredibly simple average thing. idk.. my brain loves information even if it's pointless silly information. #I Just Think It's Neat. I have so so sos os oso many ideas but I wanted to make the first poll about my cats #of course because I'm also obsessed with them lol. I was thinking of taking some of the pictures of them in front of a blank #canvas and doing a poll of 'what are they painting?' or 'what should they paint?' but I decided to go with babey crimes #for now. inspired by various baby crimes committed just this morning. Fresh on my mind.. #I wish they had a middle option though between '1 day' and '1 week'. I think a week is too long for a poll like this but also #one day is not long enough because I dont really have THAT many active followers. if it was just a day it would probably reach like 5 poepl #people. I want to at least be able to reblog it a few times maybe. lol #I think 3-4 days would be ideal. Its a new feature though. I'm sure they'll modify things as time goes on. #Still feeling sick and bad and weird and not being that productive at all generally but... I have just enough energy stores.. #using up every ounce of my power to make a goofy poll... a worthy sacrifice....

[quarterprioritymidnight]

dan also controversially exposed will as a laughter lines hater on saturday

#bastille #personal #the sound on all my videos from dundee is fucked cause they had speakers lining the whole bottom of the stage #and it was so loud #but at least the speaking bits are alright #i was just recording all the talking cause i was scared id miss he beginning of the song 😭 #dan also nearly fell over like twice during it cause his dancing was too enthusiatic like i feel that king #i know this video is v random but i cant stop thinking about it so i thought id release it into the ether and maybe others would enjoy #also all my videos are really shaky cause apparently i actually had more room out at the barricade cause i could dump my stuff #and hold onto the barrier and jump around #also id had very little sleep/nutritious food in the last couple days so i think i was going insane

[skitskatdacat63]

are there any other historical figures you like I'm intrigued 👀

Okay buckle in, somehow this post will be weirder than any of my f1 stuff bcs for some reason I'm very intense about historical figures, I think I just have a tendency to treat them like blorbos

Mostly I'm endeared to powerful figures, idk why, it's the way it is. Okay so obviously you already know I like Napoleon(and Wellington to an extent), that really doesn't need to be emphasized anymore

Since being in Austria, I feel super endeared to Maria Theresa. She just seemed like such a boss! I think she's just really cool. Her father changed the plan of succession so she'd become Empress(rather than her cousins), but immediately upon taking power, she was immediately embroiled in war over her being the new ruler(everyone who had signed the treaty of succession suddeny reversed) But she defended her rule of the Habsburg monarchy! I think the coolest part about her is that her husband, who married into the Habsburgs, was supposed to be in charge, but she wouldn't let him be involved at all practically and was the de facto ruler of the Holy Roman Empire for like 20 years. She had 16 children and was basically constantly pregnant and having kids while involved in war, yet still held power and guided Austro-Hungary through it all 🥹 I think it's very funny also that she was laying out so many reforms, guiding the country basically just herself, and still found time to write letters to all their kids and be an overbearing mother. Also she was Marie Antoinette's mother?? I'm still shocked by how many important kids she had. If you've been to any part of the former Austro-Hungarian(+ Bohemian) Empire, she really left her mark, there's soooo much stuff named after her. The statue of her in between the Kunsthistorisches and the Natural History Museum in Vienna is really cool, and that she has a whole Platz named after her with her giant statue!!! I think it's just really admirable that a woman at that period of time had so much power and ruled so efficiently. (MY god sorry I wrote so much)

Okay now I'll try to refrain from the historical rambles, I also like: Julius Caeser(cliche sorry I know), Dmitri Shostakovich(my favorite composer ever), Pyotr Tchaikovsky(pls read about his sugar mommy patron), Erwin Rommel(I like his nickname: The Desert Fox), J.C. Leyendecker(favorite artist, I am obsessed with his work), Alphonse Mucha, Calvin Coolidge(not the best president by far but the anecdotes about his social awkwardness and quietness are hilarious to me), Ernst Gideon von Laudon(not completely insane about him, but it's like with the Napoleon Crossing the Alps painting, I saw a painting and bust of him and now feel weirdly endeared.) And then there's probably some others I can't recall atm because it's 3 am

I think my top three though are Napoleon, Julius Caesar and Maria Theresa. They're all just very: "Catie saw a painting/statue and is now very weird about it." And then being in the vicinity of so much history made it 1000x worse. Things I saw in Vienna that made me go "oh my god it's blorbo from my history book": Napoleon Crossing The Alps painting(I seriously sat in that room for probably 20 mins just staring at it, I didn't want to leave) + some other various Napoleon artifacts in the Heeresgesichtliche, a very nice bust of Julius Caesar, and literally the entirety of Vienna had Maria Theresa everywhere

#i said before but i do think its funny to have historical blorbos bcs it makes people go 'what is wrong with you' #all my friends on that trip soon learned my napoleon obsession once we stepped in that museum.... #you guys are learning too much about my psyche between this and the OC posts #you thought I was unhinged only about F1? dont worry. it gets worse. #i just like reading and then holding info i guess so i can go on random rants #and history is the best to read about!! #mostly though im incapable of being normal about anything i have to be unhinged about it #but gahhhhhh im having actually a lot a lot of fun with all the napoleon stuff lately #thank you guys for encouraging me <3 #for some reason that era imprinted on my brain and its always there and i cant escape #so being able to use it and indulge in it is so much fun #also i found this random person's blog and they are way more knowledgeable abt Napoleon than me #i was having so much fun reading through their blog and learning!!!! #anyways yes here pls take my rambling this one is especially bad #why did you have to ask 😭 you dont know what you unleashed in me 😭😭😭 #* gotta add #the napoleon thing is sooooooo bad #like ill see a tiny ref to him and ill get all 😍 about it #like i think one time in Russian we were reading names of historical figures in cyrillic #and i saw napoleon and i like had such a 'gasping maiden' moment #WHY AM I LIKE THIS WHY DID MY BRAIN DO THIS TO ME #i dont get it either so dont question it JDKFLGLG #i mentioned but someone asked me 'so why do you like napoleon so much' and im just ?????? i dont choose what i brainrot over. #catie.asks. #catie.rambling.txt #sorry its late and i feel deranged #no FPs for me! too busy and too tired

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

.

#so #on one of the various post threads about hbomberguy and the plagiarisms #i added a bit about luke stephens and his apology #because its a very good response and a good apology #and then someone tags it with ''i know the last addition is well meaning but the guys literally a nazi'' #and like okay i want to take this accusation seriously #BUT #they dont say anything else and dont even say it on the post #like im sorry but you cant just say that guys a nazi with no evidence provided whatsoever #like at least write the accusations out so i can follow up on it and check it #id prefer actual evidence but i can deal with the accusations i know how to search for stuff #but when i try to look it up #i cant find anything substantial #like i found someone saying he went to bat for jk rowling and okay yeah thats a shitty thing to do #like im a british trans person trust me i know how bad jk rowling and her actions are #but that does not a nazi make #instead i get sidetracked by a reddit thread debating his apology #where theres a bunch of people saying stuff akin to ''yeah it sounds genuine but its clearly PR''or''once a plagiarist always a plagiarist'' #which are completely useless responses because okay so no one can ever becpme a better person #and you are always going to hold the actions of a 19 year old - who has disavowed who he was at 19 - against him for the rest of his life #thats incredibly unhelpful of you #also the guy was reportedly raised in an alt right repressive christian household so like #i can see what he might be that person he was at 19 and no that does not excuse his actions but if hes put the effort in for the past six #years to unlearn all of that and attempt to be a better person? then we should give him the benefit of the doubt #there were also other people throwing accusations around with either no evidence or nothing substantive #and a couple of plagiarism accusations where one is maybe the most substantive #apparently he plagiarised joseph anderson in his six hour long the last of us review #but nobody actually expanded on said apparent plagiarism #so that accusation is kinda dead in the water because even if its true your specific accusation is baseless #and so im just left with no reason to trust any of said accusations because seemingly no one is willing to show any proof at all

[arthur-r]

falling asleep worked i did it for three hours. now what i’m still tired i just also wasted the day and looked stupid to my roommate….

#like im glad i slept but also. same problems as before #although my french teacher emailed me back said i should go to office hours. which is a proper response to my email #wikipedia guy texted me back with details like an hour after i texted but also like two or three hours ago #gonna settle the score by bringing a $20 bill tomorrow then i won’t feel so weird and guilty #but no i feel so fucking stupid and gross for like. i was crying so close to my roommate so i had to fall asleep #or else i’d be standing up with tears in my eyes next to my roommate which is worse #but i just. i dont know. like he thinks i’m just lazy. i’m always asleep i never tell him why #i dont know. good morning i hope everyone is doing well #there are two people i usually get dinner with and one is out of town and the other i think his parents are here and also things are weird #translation things aren’t weird i’m just weird and feel guilty for being such a weird person #anyway i just. college?? what am i doing here???? #i talked to my mom this morning she says that she felt the same way during college and that she should have dropped out way earlier #which. not helpful?? what do i do after i drop out?? i am someone who can’t hold a normal part time job and my only HOPE is ending up being #i mean anything really just something that requires a lot of prior experience!! #and the college is paying me really good to go to school but only if i stay full time #so i cant just lower my course load because that will actually make everything worse instead of better #idk. going to french teachers office hours tomorrow and will figure out time for linguistics teacher too and will get my LIS grade back up #(that one is just simple that one is i missed two discussion posts but there are ten more to come and also tests and stuff. i’ll be ok) #idk. and i still want to go to my LIS teachers office hours and ask how he became professor of rare books print culture and information bias #that is a good set of things to be a scholar for. and he’s curating collections at the same time as being my teacher #so idk. professors don’t seem as stupid and uppity as they used to. and i think i want to do that someday #plus with the salary jump from librarian i can feasibly become a major donor to local libraries to keep that influence around shdhdf #(although. if i get paid by the school (!!) to get a phd in print culture who says i don’t become a fancy librarian with that??) #i dont know. this is so stupid because i get so excited about the prospects and then i go back to the present and i’m flunking out of school #my grades haven’t been this bad since the height of COVID i thought something about me had gotten better but apparently not #like literally who went and made me traumatized?? why did you have to do that?? now i can’t be a normal person?? shut up!!!! #idk. just feel like if i weren’t having panic attacks about the fact that people are safe and kind here (and therefore must be hiding their #true intentions and taking advantage of me) then maybe i would have remembered to take my french test #idk. i’m tired and want to go home. sorry for venting all day i hope everyone is doing okay #vent cw

[wandering-aloneo-o]

filled with horror and fear and dread <- me when someone interacts with two or more of my blogs unprompted

#like what do you mean you found 2/? of my blogs in this webbed site of bajillions of blogs #its only happened a select few times but every time is has i instantly worry that person knows they're both me #while realistically theres pretty much no way they'd be able to tell they're all me unless i explicitly say so #it still fills me with so much dread that they Might know its me #you cant just go around uncovering a critters stuff like that. really not good for the enrichment of their environment #but actually it is pretty funny to see someone randomly find more of my stuff without knowing theyre all me #i feel like a little spy holding so many little secrets #and its also cool to see that 'oh! you like all these little things too! cool!'

[basslinegrave]

why do i keep finding out so many people working on fnaf or being involved are terrible people whats this...

#what i saw yesterday was actually about something older and not a current problem but today i saw one VA was being racist oh man #im disintegrating #im still holding on #scott isnt a saint either and i can like this franchise but its like constantly on my mind. stuff with pinky too #i wish she was only a tracer. tracing is bad but its the least of a problem next to that comic (and siding with fisz if true) #which just makes me circle back to the thing i saw yesterday with fiszis art in the calendar (?) and idk where else it was used #like who greenlit it. i dont think everything goes thru scott and the people dealing with it just wouldnt know but i cant just pretend #to be in a fantasy world where scott had absolutely no idea about that background. i think ge greenlits like the worst merch again idk if #him directly or some staff but theres no quality control in a lot of stuff and he never does anything to fix it (like some of the merch is #atrocious. from design to paintjob its rare to find something nice) #but idk how it is with art honestly... if its not going into a game does it even go thru his hands? i wonder #talking about that bottle thing. #(even more fucked up when you add the fact he was made into a character in that fic and iirc directly involved in that scene)

[caffeinatedopossum]

Sometimes a person will be like "you're so easy to talk to! It's like, idk, everyone else just seems fake but you aren't" meanwhile I'm over here like "... I am autistic *narrows eyes*"

#they are never neurotypical #i have not met a single neurotypical person that enjoyed my presence #but also if they did they probably wouldnt tell me >:( #but no genuinely im starting to getting really suspicious anytime someone can hold a conversation with me #because its overwhelming ONLY autistic people who can hold conversations with me #also sometimes adhd people but like only a specific few #idk what it is. its almost like .. we're all autistic or something 👀 #i actually cant be fake its kinda a problem #like i am incapable of 'just figuring out' what people mean #if i want to understand people i have to rigorously study them #which is why i hyperfixate on physcology #i genuinely have no clue how some people just KNOW things about socializing #like how did you learn this stuff? did someone tell you? #did you run experiments? did you find a rule book? #HOW please i must know ;-;