#i know these are all stereotypes (the emojis) but they’re basically true

[farfromstrange]

Funny story…

I was telling my mom about how I wrote 670k words for a single fanfiction series, which is more than a novel or two, I think. Not to speak of the reader inserts and everything else I’ve got going on.

Anyway, she then asked me if she could read it. I told her that it’s not as innocent as she thinks my writing is, and it’s dark as hell. She told me she doesn’t care, she just wants to know what I’m working on. Problem is just, she doesn’t speak English, so I’m over here translating the godforsaken first chapter into German and boy does it sound stupid. I don’t know if I can show her that without cringing.

Like, what is it with my mother tongue and having such complicated grammar that I need to sometimes change entire paragraphs to fit the actual meaning behind them. I know that’s basically how translation stories works, but with German it’s just… it’s hard, man. And I don’t know if she’s going to like it, which adds to my anxiety, so now I’m just staring at my screen and questioning my existence.

I was born here and my written German is worse than my English, and that says something.

So I made this and my friends absolutely lost it when I sent it to them:

The “sign” on the bottom right roughly translates to “sweeping week”. We basically have to clean our apartment building (if they’re not a huge high rise or owned by people who can afford weekly cleaners or something) every week, and every week a different apartment gets the sign so they know it’s their time to clean the building. It’s not that big of a deal. I’m usually done in about thirty minutes if all goes well. It ensures things are relatively clean, so that’s good. But it’s a German thing and I thought it was fitting.

Bonus from my friend:

#matt murdock #charlie cox #daredevil #lizzi talks #writers of tumblr #i read this in a very aggressive German accent #i know these are all stereotypes (the emojis) but they’re basically true #in my mind at least #german core #this sounds so stupid #but I’ve been hollering for the past 10 minutes #foreigner's god #bilingual problems #like mom just learn english smh 🙄 #just kidding i love her #but english is easy compared to german

[algernoninwonderland]

“Porter sur toi un nouveau regard”: basic outlines and preparatory notes

What better way to celebrate a fic being completed than me releasing some of the basic notes I took while planning it? Here they are, with a few additions.

 It all started as a prompt I got on Discord, the very simple “love at first sight” and I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it at first, but the idea of sight stuck with me. Are your first impressions the right ones? Can you learn to see someone a certain way or another? It’s ultimately a story about learning to see other people and yourself, isn’t it?

Which meant I had to take a certain point of view, because an omniscient floating eye is emotionally detached. Character POV may have a limited scope, but that may help empathise with them. This is a story about Kagami, so it was only fair for Kagami to be the centre of it.

Chapter 1: 

“How does Kagami truly feel about Marinette before Ikari Gozen”? 

While Marinette sees the two of them as rivals, that rivalry is one-sided, and Kagami wouldn’t take that girl seriously. She’s simply annoying. 

Kagami is a lonely character, who genuinely wants to make friends, still, and she’s anything but cool or smooth. She doesn’t know the other characters the way the audience does, at all.

Tomoe Tsurugi sucks.

Switching from “Dupain-Cheng” to “Marinette Dupain-Cheng” to “Marinette” would be a nice way to keep the reader hooked. Lots of tiny details that’ll come back later on!

Comphet. 

Lots of comphet already. What you “should” like, a calculated, conscious choice.

A few jabs at the show because why not.

Chapter 2:

Filling gaps in characterisation and timeline to make sure that everything hurts later on! Including pre-Adrigami. People thought the paperwork between Tomoe and Gabriel was a marriage contract, not quite, but an arranged relationship? Definitely from Tomoe’s side.

Are Kagami and Marinette already going on dates when they visit the city together all on their own? Isn’t that the true sapphic experience.

Also, the promise of them going to the terrace rooftop on sunny days! It’ll come back later on.

The Bike Motive. Marinette driving her forward.

“Your hair is beautiful” but make it much gayer. 

I hate the André scene in the finale, it sucks and it’s awful for everyone. It should be awful for both Marinette and Kagami. Comphet. So much comphet. 

Kagami’s impression of brokenness is something we’ll come back to over and over again.

Adrien doesn’t notice because he’s Adrien. The kiss. Nothing.

“K-Kagami!” End with a cliffhanger for more suffering.

As a side note, I made myself cry writing this chapter.

Chapter 3:

Everything hurts. Everything. Hurts. 

Identity reveals don’t solve anything, they still fail, and Marinette still isn’t willing to show herself to Kagami, still hiding behind a facade.

Just because Marinette understands things a little better doesn’t mean it hurts any less

They are both lying to each other and themselves and they don’t even realise it.

“Fixing the brokenness” through comphet.

Nothing is solved at all.

Falling asleep on a chaise longue plus blanket

Chapter 4:

Life as a socialite in Paris, concerts and restaurants, wearing clothes she hasn’t chosen

The Adrien routine, pulling chairs and flowers

It’s all miserable still, lots of “shoulds”

Fencing competition, fencing competition ahead. Tomoe is a terrible parent and a terrible coach.

Text conversations with Marinette, overdoes joy with emojis

The Bike Motive Returns, with more feelings, Marinette’s almost desperate gestures

(Kagami as the only person she can fully confide in, but still won’t)

An early birthday present… But Kagami is born in November, Marinette is a mess and so is her room.

Hug and first hint of reciprocated Marigami? Just the happiness of having someone like Kagami who admires her work as Marinette.

Falling asleep on a chaise longue plus blanket, part deux.

KAGAMI IN A SUIT!!!

Kisses on the cheek are really common in France, not Japan. A heavy kiss.

Dress or suit?

Marinette is a mess, texts at night. Difference between Adrien and Marinette’s texts, Adrien’s more self-centred.

No sense of space in Tokyo, jet lag and closed house. Closed spaces. 

Chapter 5:

I’m going to write a full chapter about sabre fencing and people will love it

Lots of sneaky (or not so sneaky) GL and Yuri manga/anime references. Make Juri Arisugawa part of the Jury.

All the locations are real

Marinette overdoes it again, Kagami can’t tell.

Kagami’s technique dissecting her opponents. She is a champion already.

Teach the readers about fencing whilst describing it. Have opponents be challenging in specific, understandable ways.

She chooses the suit. What even is subtlety.

As a side note: it was a really fun one to write.

Chapter 6:

Marinette internship phone call, Nathalie’s plan. No way Gabriel would accept to work with a kid. Flirting, Kagami as a muse?

The Foucault chapter. Everything is a prison. Restaurant, vertical stripes on wall as prison bars, the relationship, the self-locking car. This is no Utena car.

Everything is wrong, including the food

Adrigami friendship, much better than Adrigami romance. Rose/Chair. She doesn’t hate him at all, she just doesn’t love him… It wouldn’t work, she’s gay and he’s a liar.

Self-imposed gestures of affection.

Do not describe the kisses, they’re just a thing she has to do

Marinette is a mess, Ladybug is a mess, hell imagery, falling down a hole, almost dying. We are in the car with Kagami and we want to do something, anything, and we can’t.

Chapter 7:

The first step to things being alright again is to admit that they aren’t alright now

Nighttime conversation, Kagami letting Ladybug in

Marinette finally showing herself bare to Kagami but still tries not to until the dam breaks. Being a hero is miserable. Being the Guardian when you are a child with no guidance or support is miserable. Kagami as the only person she can trust.

Botched Lukanette date?

“I’m just so tired.”

“You are not a failure, you are so courageous, a genius fashion designer and my best friend”

(Additional note: I cried writing that passage)

Sharing the burden: help in more than just words.

“I hate that you have to see me like that.”

But showing your vulnerability and still being accepted as true love

Kagami truly sees Marinette now.

“Tutorship” and Tomoe being awful but excuse works. Help is material, homework, tidying up the room together.

“Stop feeling guilty about letting other people help you.”

Flirting hidden behind jokes, Kagami lying to herself. Way to ruin the mood.

Marigami baking.

Harlem 88, postal workers, acab

Watching television on the same couch, or rather watching Marinette watch television.

Umbrella scene with polka dots.

Kagami fully aware of her feeling and afraid of them, afraid that Marinette might feel the same

Chapter 8:

more fencing, Kagami absolutely rules

Worrying about Marinette alone with Gabriel, rightfully so, but can’t say that out loud

Stereotypical outdated Japanese-ness, Kagami can’t conform, doesn’t know how to put on her houmongi on her own. Tomoe and paradoxes, her daughter is both weak and “too muscular” at the same time.

The Palais Royal. The Buren columns are very climbable.

Gabriel, “quite miraculous”. Testing the waters, Kagami doesn’t notice. 

Jealousy when Adrien speaks of Marinette?

Ratatouille reference! Tatou. 

Tomoe playing the role of the exotic Japanese to be accepted. 

Drunk parents, drunk on power and self-satisfaction. 

Adrien’s kiss, forced to return it. 

Fear that Adrien might become Marinette’s muse

The bike motive once more

Barkk’s power is tracking magical signatures, each is different from the other

Marinette taking control over her own life, making plans to stop Hawk Moth instead of passively waiting for each attack, 

“She was never broken. She is in love with another girl.”

Marinette is in love with her too, but is ready to wait.

Chapter 9:

Adrien IS Chat Noir, up to the entitlement and his way of being physically affectionate. Stay true to canon and canon implications.

Adrigami/DJWifi double date, Alya means well but doesn’t know everything

Wordbuilding: of course the Ladyblog isn’t the only website ever, bad rival, Daily Bugle pun.

Not hating someone doesn’t mean you should be with them.

Hints of Adrigami friendship again, relief at avoiding romance.

Food at Kagami’s, cooker, formally perfect but not personal

Marinette and Barkk, closer to their goal

The Turtle Pearl bracelet: a shield, a great way to show feeling of danger, symbol of love

Kagami is the one to kiss Marinette on the cheek this time

Chapter 10:

Tomoe is a bad instructor episode 100

In which Adrien proves himself to truly be also Chat Noir, i.e. unable to understand personal barriers and entitlement. Still Kagami’s POV. He doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong, insistence≠playfulness. certainly won’t apologise

The bike motive again. Scenic road and conversation

Going to Orsay, definitely a date!

Chat Noir was moody during akuma crisis because of course he was.

Chapter 11:

Adrigami “break”, Adrien sucks at admitting that he’s anything but perfect and being confronted with that.

Kagami bluntness.

Adrigami isn’t about Adrigami, it’s about the Tsurugi family’s status and Tomoe terrified of consequences. Attacking the room instead of Kagami herself.

The Turtle Pearl glows when wearer feels endangered or imminent danger

The museum pictures, the two of them together

Aquarium date?

“Voice of reason” isn’t the voice of reason at all.

Barkk is in the bag, smells everything

Chapter 12:

Kagami as Tomoe’s messenger

Agreste mansion as a mausoleum, setting up the geography, security cameras, cold. Painting of Émilie, goal is near

Nathalie being extremely good at pretending she didn’t just knock that kid unconscious months ago, she’s awful and it’s great.

Marinette internship, Gabriel wears a bowtie… Resembles a butterfly.

Barkk in the bag, smells everything.

Stressful phone call, feels feverish, it’s him and that’s undeniable.

Marinette the detective.

“Thanks for being there for me”

“Thank you for trusting me so much”

Having dinner with Hawk Moth, it’s awful and stressful

No more chair/rose

Adrien is miserable but not aggressive. Building up to final fight

Chapter 13:

Meet the Dupain-Chengs, short, awkward, sweet moment

Marinette’s room, perfectly clean

From creepy stalker to detective, without downplaying the former or overplaying the latter

The two are complementary, very concrete things, 

The plan: catch Hawk Moth red-handed, take it outside and expose him to the world

How the Kwami Pearls work: just like the Miraculouses themselves, feeding off the host, only more brutal. Marinette trying to reassure Kagami

Re-explain Turtle Pearl and other powers, illusion, thunder, time-rewind and portal

Gabriel owns original Degas painting since they are both assholes

Adrien/Chat still not great at all

Ice-cream but no biphobia/lesbophobia this time, just a regular shop suggested by Juleka.

The Pont des Arts, no more locks, just like in real life.

The confession, the kiss: consent and everything is right, but also desperate. Marinette really wants to do it well.

Longg is back, also, hype

Side note: I cried writing this one.

Chapters 14-15

Ryuko infiltrating the mansion, all in the details

I hate that Hawk Moth’s lair is an actual real physical space in the show, but if this needs to be material, then so be it. He was allowed to turn his house into that because he got help from the Mayor/Audrey.

Chat Noir can’t fight, near breakdown.

Nathalie knew. Remake of first fight, only Ryuko has clear upper hand.

Having missiles in your house isn’t a good idea.

The Turtle Pearl serves its purpose at last, 

Gabriel mostly defeats himself on his own, hubris, the whole extent of his power dynamic with Nathalie

Going back to the Champ de Mars, 

Teamwork, taking the butterfly down. Chat Noir rejects his father entirely, cataclysm-ed akuma.

The mansion again, entirely destroyed, paintings of Émilie burning. Spell book and tablet recovered.

Chapter 16:

Taking the big bad down is useless if you don’t take down the power structures that allowed him to strive in the first place. Killing Voldemort only solves that much.

Discovering it all on a phone screen, shut-in

ACAB no matter your gender

They are just following orders and happy to do so, and Gabriel still has some power over them

Tomoe plays by the rules, even though these rules are awful

Kagami’s anger

Chapter 17:

Aquarium date, aquarium date! Fish facts

Kagami’s anger still, doesn’t die out, render it through environment and senses

Water as a healing motive, fish facts

Hot outside - cold inside, ice-cream

Kagami nearly blows out because of kids after being slightly soothed

The power of love is strong but it can’t solve everything.

Additional note: someone in the comments asked me if Kagami had ASD, and the answer is, I don’t know, you tell me! If you think she is on the spectrum, then she is!

Addressing Kagami being closeted, because there’s simply no other way. This isn’t good. Having to live hidden out of fear isn’t good..

The bike motive, + ice cream

Kagami uses the word “lesbian” for the first time to describe her own experience.

Chapter 18:

Tomoe has feelings and these feelings suck. Under the guise of rules, abuse.

Kagami fighting back.

Power is material, through connections and money, nothing that can’t be bought

Kagami’s first demonstration, don’t make it too violent but still ACAB

Nino and Alya as reporters, Julerose and Luka seasoned protestors

The Palais de Justice’s gilded gates are closed vs the crowd

Marinette using her powers for something other than Hawk Moth, strong stance but also still a 15 yo kid’s understanding of the situation

Chapters 19-20:

No tanabata because Tomoe is terrible

The rooftop terrace at last, more Marigami wholesomeness

Dupain-Cheng house vs Tsurugi house, the furniture and dishes, the meal, more Tom and Sabine

Marinette has been cut from her Chinese heritage, exploring that (callback to Mandarin app, chapter 1) and bitterness of it

Adrien moving on in England, still Plagg with him, he’ll become a rich prep boy

Marinette as a Guardians, her own spell book

Duusuu is devouring Émilie’s soul and neither Marinette nor Kagami knows

Françoise Dupont at night, fencing classes, Marinette moves like Ladybug

The future: it is bright but bittersweet, let’s talk about it together

And there was only one bed

Oh, to cuddle with your girlfriend in her bed for the first time

Watching the sun rise together, calm breakfast

Side note: I also cried writing this one.

Chapter 21, epilogue

A new beginning

Kagami turning her back on her mother almost entirely

The bike motive, but Kagami no longer needs Marinette to show her the way now

New school, familiar faces but not only

An ordinary bracelet for Marinette, but proof of love despite everything

End on their hands.

#miraculous #ml #marigami #kagaminette #ao3fic #mine

[ichirostitties]

It’s great to see another HypMic imagines blog around!! Can I request some headcanons for how Ichiro, Dice, and Samatoki (desperate ofc) react when they’re attempting to flirt with their crush, but their crush doesn’t understand the flirting and just thinks the guys are being super nice all of a sudden? Hopefully that made sense agsjjfkvkv. Best wishes for you and the blog!!!! ꒰#’ω`#꒱੭

aah thanks also this is a v cute ask they r all babey (yes even mr hardcore)

Ichiro

-POOR BOY he really has no experience with this at all :^( it’s basically canon that his only relationship experience comes from light novels/manga and all that nfdjfhssj

-he was probably SO NERVOUS he’s liked you for so long!! for ages he was trying to drop subtle hints (’subtle’) but you just didn’t understand him. he’s so nervous cause he wants to tell you but he just..can’t

-it’s just..,,this one day in particular you guys are hanging out alone FINALLY (since jiro and saburo are at school, he has the day off and you happened to be free too!), and he’s dropping so many hints (it’s up to you whether or not he uses purposely cheesy pickup lines to no avail lmao) he’s tried EVERYTHING. 

-he asked you to go to the movies sometime (he was like “so uhh..,,,would maybe wanna see this [insert cheesy romantic movie title here because ofc he would pick that to be as obvious as possible] together sometime y/n??”) and u were like “yeah i’d love to!! how did you know i’d love to see that movie you’re so thoughtful! :) is it ok if i bring some other friends too?” and he just internally cries because he MEANT just the two of you because it’s a movie COUPLES see together

-you guys were chillin on his couch probably watching uhhh NARUTO like weebs or something and he even tried the ‘accidental contact’ strategy but you just apologised and moved your hand away (he cries again because he just wants to hold ur hand aw)

-so in the end he’s tried all of the worst flirting strategies ever and not only did none of them work, you didn’t understand aNY of them (although you DID notice he was being a little more touchy than usual) and he’s sitting there wondering what to do because he’s so nervous!!! He’s sure he’ll have to actually confess at this rate and he’s never done it before his poor mc big bro heart is beating so fast!

-you probably notice that he seems to be sweating up a storm and you ask if he’s okay and I think that would do it for him honestly

-he takes a deep breath and is like right.,,ok mr mc big bro u got this in his head and turns to you with the reddest face you’ve seen in a while and blurts out that he really reaaallly likes you and he’s had the biggest crush on you for so long!! and he even tells you how he’d been trying to flirt with you all day (honestly flirting for ichiro is sending the ‘:3′ emoji) but you didn’t notice so he decided to just tell you and he Really hopes you feel the same way

-you’re like “oh…oH” and then it all clicks and you FINALLY understand why he was acting the way he was, and you give him the biggest smile ever because you really like him too!! 

-”I really like you too, Ichiro!” and the moment you tell him all his nerves just drop to 0 and he’s SO HAPPY, he doesn’t even register you apologising for not understanding his advances cause he’s too busy trying to believe that this is real and he really just did that and you actually like him back

-and now u r dating ichiro and u guys went to that cheesy romance movie and maybe u smooched him and maybe he cried himself to sleep that night because of how happy he is

-wow this turned into an entire scenario oOPS BUT ANYWAY basically i think ichiro would just confess out of sheer desperation because he’s never really experienced this before and he has no idea how to best handle the situation

-he’s just a big soft nerd idiot but he’s the best big brother ever and we love him anyway :’) ily ichiro ughhh this made me wanna go on so many dates with him

Samatoki

-angery man

-Samatoki would actually be pretty good at flirting honestly, he’s probably had a lot of positive reactions from people in the past so when you don’t really get what he’s implying he like ???? nani the fuck

-he’d probably repeat himself expecting you to get it but you just. don’t and he doesn’t actually know how to react at first.

-he’s not shy when it comes to this stuff, but he does get embarrassed easily when he has to admit his feelings. flirting was so much easier for him because he can just pass it off as not being that deep

-he probably becomes more aggressive with his flirting, like he starts leaning into you more if ya get what i mean

-he just goes with it the first few times it happens, but when you’re continuously oblivious to him he rapidly gets very frustrated, and he becomes more pouty as time goes on and you still just don’t get it!!

-he has trouble expressing his true feelings. he’s such a tsundere oh dear

-he wouldn’t get mad at you though, he really doesn’t want to hurt you even if he does come across as prickly, he just doesn’t really know what to do other than get angry at himself for not just telling you straight away

-you notice he’s feeling down so you ask him what’s wrong and he just blushes and looks away like the dumbass he is. his heart aches when he hears the concern in your voice and he really just wants to tell you. so he mumbles something but you can’t quite hear him, so you ask him to repeat himself and then he turns to you that’s when he confesses to you because he’s tired of feeling like a coward

-he tells you he’s liked you for a while now, and that it’d be fuckin great if you felt the same way otherwise he’d probably never be able to talk to you again (he probably says it all while looking to the side because he’s a stereotypical tsundere when it comes to this and i love him)

-you sort of take a moment to process it, but when it all clicks you realise how much he’d been dropping hints and you’re sorta like damn ok..he’s really smooth im just a dumbass ok but it’s ok cause you guys can both be dumbasses together!!

-he’s still waiting for your response, so you just lean in and kiss him on the cheek and he goes. very red but once he realises that means you feel the same way (it takes him a full 5 seconds), he has the biggest cheesiest grin on his face and gives you a REAL BIG SMOOCH because he’s secretly a pretty big dork

-soft samatoki makes me go sicko mode oh my god

Dice

-DICE’S FLIRTING IS SO STRAIGHTFORWARD AND HE REALLY DOESN’T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN’T REALISE HE HAS A BIG FAT CRUSH ON YOU???

-he’s literally been like “u look hot” and you’re like “aw thanks dice ur the nicest friend!!!!” he literally had question marks in his eyes the entire day

-he has tried EVERYTHING he even used “ya like jaaazzz???” from the bee movie but you thought he was just making a horrible reference and depending on how u feel u either refused to talk to him for the rest of the day or laughed until you cried because he’s such a clown

-he really doesn’t care that much, he’d LOVE to date you but hanging out with you is fine too so he wouldn’t be in the biggest rush to confess. Honestly he’d probably have a blast finding out just how far he can go before you realise how he feels (in a way it’s kinda like gambling cause he never knows when you’re gonna get it ooooo)

-after a few weeks he probably starts to get pretty desperate tho. he sees ur hand once and goes apeshit cause he wants to hOLD IT SO BAD he just wants 2 give u a big soft hug (dice gives the BEST hugs just saying) and now he realises that maybe he should just tell you

-and Dice has no shame, so he does! he goes up to you and is like “hey so uhh..,,,i’ve literally been dropping hints for weeks that I really like you so would you maybe wanna go on a date sometime??”. 

-He wouldn’t seem like it, but he is actually a little nervous. After all, he’s some hopeless homeless case addicted to gambling, why would you ever like him back? But for as few brain cells as Dice has, he actually has more sense than the others and thinks that hey, you must like him at least a little to have been hanging out with him for as long as you have

-when you say that you like him a lot too, he feels his heart swell!! he’s really happy and gives you one of his big signature grins. You apologise for being so clueless, you really thought he was just trying to be nice or entertaining in general cause that’s how he is with everyone else

-Dice pulls you in for a Big Dice Hug and assures you that it’s fine, he’s just as bad as you seeing as he still believes literally everything that falls from Gentaro’s mouth despite knowing how he is, and that he had a lot of fun trying to flirt with you using literally any tactics he could think of (even the kabedon didnt work smh)

-dice is such a genuine person i really can’t see him not confessing. he’s just a babey please give him lots of love and food

#hypmic #hypnosis mic #ichiro yamada #samatoki aohitsugi #dice arisugawa #this was so cute #all 3 of them are v good 10/10 guys

[queerchoicesblog]

The Graduation Gift (RoE, Mira x Jess)

This fanfic is part of the @choicesjulychallenge hosted by the soon-to-be-graduate @kinda-iconic! It's been a while since I last wrote Mira X Jess and I missed the only ship that kept me playing Roe. This fic is an ideal prequel to Hot Cocoa For Two, the one I wrote for the December Challenge.

In short, Jess finally graduates and Mira has a special gift in store for her girlfriend.

Prompt: Commitment

Word Count: 2003

Perma Tag: @brightpinkpeppercorn @melodyofgraves @bhavf @abunchofbadchoices @silverhawkenzie @begging-for-kamilah @kennaxval @strangerofbraidwood @crazypeanat @desiree-0816 @universallypizzataco

_________________________

"Hmpf"

Jess tossed and turned in the sheets as the light of a new sunny day hit her eyes. She blinked twice before finally resolving to open them. She hugged the pillow and inhaled the familiar scent of her favourite chef. Amber and other spices she couldn't name but that her heart immediately recognised as her "Mira, my Mira". Still cherishing that thought, she smiled to herself and rolled to the side and her eyes fell on Mira's nightstand where she spotted a book she kept gushing over for months...she remembered talking about it on Skype with her chef too. But she never told her that she actually bought it.

Jess moved closer and propped herself on her elbow to have a better look. She bit her lip as she opened it and saw that Mira used an Hartfeld postcard as a bookmark. A smile immediately formed on her lips as she recognised it: she sent her when she went back to college after Katie's wedding. She still remembered that day. Nicole and Audrey drove her back there -the salsa soundtrack they sang along with the whole ride haunted Jess for weeks -and helped her settle down. As soon as they left, she stopped by a souvenir shop and bought a postcard portraying the university quad with smiling students passing by. She went back to her dorm room and started writing it right away. When she finished, she remembered looking over her shoulder and since her roomie was nowhere to be found, grabbing her own lipstick, putting it on and pressing a kiss on the lower side. She immediately laughed at the silly, corny gesture picturing Mira's reaction: her Michelin-starred chef would have certainly either laughed it off or rolled her beautiful dark eyes at it. She sent it the day after on her way to class, as her heart tightened thinking that she would have not been able to see her girlfriend for a while and she missed her so much already. The bookmark was way past the half of the book, signalling that Mira devoted her days off to it. As she put it down, she made a mental note to ask her about it.

She was about to get up when she noticed the photos sitting beside the book. She sat up on the edge of the bed and her heart fluttered once more. In the first one Mira was standing knee deep in the ocean hugging from behind a visibly head over heels Saru. They must have taken it during the Portugal trip Mira mentioned once, judging by the Portuguese writings on the little boy's baseball hat. The sunset was already turning the sky of a dark red but you could still see the bright smile on Saru's face as his mom kissed the top of his head. The other one was a picture of her and Mira iceskating when she visited over the winter break. Blake and Carter joined too for "a former Nomande staff reunion" and they had such a great day: they drank cider, ate Christmas cookies and reminisced their time together on the Ember of the Sea. Then they went iceskating and that's when Carter started taking pictures and selfies while recklessly sliding trough the crowd. He even fell over Blake in a bad attempt to catch a surprise shot of him: the two ruined to the ground but couldn't stop giggling afterwards. The shot Mira framed must have been a lucky one: oblivious of the camera, they were just skating hand in hand smiling tenderly to each other. As if no one else was there, only the two of them.

Jess threw one last glance to the nightstand before moving to the bathroom to get a shower. When she was done, she headed to the kitchen following a mouthwatering lead.

"Goodmorning, sleepyhead"  

Mira greeted her with a smile behind the kitchen counter.

"Eggs Benedict ready in...five" she announced, checking her watch as Jess wrapped her arms around her waist and nuzzled her shoulder.

"You were already up when I woke up"

"Yep, because in case you haven't noticed, you slept in this morning" Mira gave her an amused look. "But you have every right to do so: you're a graduate, now!"

"It still feels so unreal..."

"Blake called earlier, work stuff you know...but he asked me to tell you once more that he's so proud of you" the chef turned and place a kiss on the top of Jess's head. "We're all so proud of you, baby"

"Thanks, it means a lot" Jess said as her cheeks started reddening.

She had never felt so supported and appreciated since she met the Nomade crew. And of course, Mira. They all had a rocky start but as they got to know each other, they became the best friends -and girlfriend- Jess could have ever asked for. Her family was supportive too but it took them a while to realise that she was more than bubbly reckless Jess. Blake, Carter and Mira were probably the first not to see her as the stereotypical party girl: she was their colleague, Jess "the waitress" to them when they first met. Then she became responsible hardworking Jess and it felt...just natural. As if somewhere they inside they trusted her - or so Jess loved to think, it didn't have to be necessarily true - to be more than just another troublemaker who forgot she wasn't a teen anymore. Just like Katie, Alex and Nicole thought for well, basically her whole life or so they made Jess believe. Probably, all "the party twin" needed was a little bit of trust, someone finally believing in her, someone believing that she had potential. Jess was eternally grateful to Nana for that: she was the first to see that spark in her. The only one in the famiy, to be honest.

"How's Blake doing? I should give him a call too later" Jess changed the topic to break free from that train of thoughts.

"Oh he's good! He -pass me two plate, sweetheart, the eggs are ready- he was telling me about this new idea for the menu. He discovered a new family recipe and wanted to share it to see if we can make something out of it. He thinks that it could make a good entrée and I must say I'm not against it" Mira explained, serving their brunch.

They moved to the terrace and took a seat at the table. They talked about the restaurant's slow yet steady success that made Mira and Blake have high hopes for the future, of Carter joining a new dance crew and of Saru's latest obsession with sharks and any merchandise item related to them: underwear, books, scale models, movies... Mira asked Jess about her upcoming internship in San Francisco at Lean Myers's magazine: Jess didn't think she would actually agree to have her when she contacted her, she did it out of admiration for the former film critic: her reviews on FilmBuzz always gave her the best movie advice ever.

Jess's phone suddenly beeped and she chuckled as she checked it.

"It's Alex" Jess giggled.

"What does he say?" Mira asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Tons of desperate emoji. It's getting worse with emoji lately...and...oh he's saying he's the worst brother ever cause he hasn't sent me the graduation gift he bought with Elena yet"

Jess smiled weakly at the phone.

"He said that he's so sorry that they couldn't make it to the graduation ceremony. It...it doesn't matter actually. They didn't have to worry about that and the gift, they're so busy..."

"No, he's right " Mira agreed, taking the last sip of her coffee. "Not about being the worst sibling ever maybe but his message reminds me that I have a thing for you"

Then she flashed Jess a smile and stood.

"Follow me" she said, offering her her hand.

Jess obliged and Mira led her back to her bedroom. She stopped on the threshold and turned to her girlfriend, who was looking around quizzically.

"Open the closet, Jess" Mira said, gently stroking her hair.

Jess gave her a confused look as she leaned at her touch but the look in her girlfriend's eyes only spoke of tender devotion.

She walked to the closet and opened it. To her surprise, since the last time she visited, Mira's clothes now took only half of it and half of the drawers were empty. In the first one she noticed a small envelope.

Jess gaped and turned to Mira who was leaning on the doorstep now and just nodded to signal her to proceed.

Jess opened it and a set of keys fell into her hands.

"Mira, what-" Jess covered her mouth with her free hand in surprise.

Mira moved closer and hugged her from behind. She placed a kiss on her temple before sighing and speaking again:

"I know we never really talked about it and I'm not asking you to move here with me right now, I know you're gonna start your internship in San Fransisco soon...but I don't want you to be just a visitor here. I missed you terribly when we parted and you left for school. It made me understand that I want you by my side. One day: you're starting your career and I don't expect it to happen in a week or a month, I want you to follow your dreams wherever they take you but I also want you to know that this is not only my place anymore. It can be yours too, it is yours too, no matter what. We decided to make it official, right?" a shy smile formed on her lips. "It just made sense to me: you'll be looking for a place to stay after your internship or maybe during holidays...just know that you can call this home, love"

Jess turned in her arms to look into Mira's eyes only to find the affection and adoration her favorite chef showed her more than once already. She didn't have to think twice: she threw her arms around her neck and pulled Mira in for a hard kiss as her eyes welled with happy tears. After the initial surprise, she returned it letting her hands slide oh Jess' hips.

When they parted, Jess buried her face in the crook of Mira's neck.

"Is that a yes?" the older woman laughed nuzzling her hair.

"Yes, ten thousand time yes! This...this is the best graduation gift ever. The best gift I have ever received in my whole life, Mira. I...I love you"

"I love you too"

"I just don't get it...why an hamburger? It doesn't sound like you" Jess asked, nodding to the keychain.

"You didn't figure it out, did you, graduate?" Mira teased her smirking.

"Hey, I earned my degree!" Jess protested.

Mira laughed softly.

"One day back at the Normade you told me to serve hamburgers instead of the dishes Blake and I put on the menu. You literally shocked me but in the end you were right: the clients were happy and returned the day after willing to try more complex food combinations. I learnt a thing from you that night and well, I may be studying a new addition to our restaurant's menu: I want to make an hamburger everyone would eat but special, experimental, something unique. I promise that you will try it before everyone else so you can tell me what you think. If it's not too corny, I would love to dedicate it to you"

"You really want to make me cry again, huh?" Jess embraced her again, making Mira smile softly as a he stroke Jess's back.

"Oh and that way we can have matching key chains. Well, almost" she added.

"You have an hamburger keychain too?" Jess gaped, not expecting anything like that.

"Oh no, mine has two charms: the Eiffel Tower and a bottle of champagne, but I would love to add a little hamburger" she giggled.

#choices july challenge #rules of engagement #mira banerji #mira x jess #playchoices #choices stories you play

[tyrustrash]

Tu Color Para Pintar

Shadyside, a small no-name town in the middle of nowhere. People have assumptions about small town: that they’re quite and peaceful, everyone knows each other, and that the people are the kindest. Wrong. Shadyside is called Shadyside for a reason. Everyone is shady, from toddlers to the senior citizens. The shadiest can even be your own best friends, and even worse, your own crush. Cyrus currently is laying face down on his bed. He refuses to believe that not only is Andi attending some fancy frou-frou art school for the summer, but TJ is dating Kira. Yeah, about TJ, he didn’t really have to say he was dating her, but come on, it’s obvious. They’re always together looking happy, they went to his special spot, and seemed they didn’t want him around. Although TJ said they weren’t, it didn’t help that he has yet to hang out together, alone. His whole body hurts from thinking TJ cared about him. It feels like a thousand shards of glass are stabbing him and there’s nothing he can do. It didn’t matter anyway; he could deal with that kind of pain. The pain he couldn’t handle was his broken heart. He had spent weeks with the jock building a friendship like he has never had before. This one is different from Jonah because of the memories they have. Jonah was always busy with girlfriend troubles, which Cyrus would know nothing about, but TJ helped him with things no one else bothered with. They had talks where they told secrets that no one else knew. TJ was like a completely different person around him, like he was being his genuine self. The dual personas TJ had made Cyrus even more interested in him. Heck, the best thing TJ has ever done was stand up for Cyrus and helped raise his confidence. Out of all his time with Andi and Buffy, they never did anything close to what TJ has done. The only bad thing TJ has done was steal his heart. The gun incident doesn’t count since it was Blondie’s fault. TJ, however, had to strut into his life with all his hoodies and be so dang adorable. The time together eventually had an impact on Cyrus’s mind, and heart. It wasn’t until a few short weeks ago when feelings changed, in a good way. Their friendship felt like it should be something more, but Cyrus knew it was just one sided. Even though Cyrus was a fool to ever believe for a second that TJ was a bad guy, he now feels like a complete clown. The whole Kira situation is where things went south. For Andi, it hurt a little less. Although they’ve been friends since kindergarten and have done amazing, and illegal, things with her, he wasn’t as hurt since he imagined this day happening for a while now. Andi is a talented artist. Her works are unique and definitely belong in a museum. Her trashing stereotypes piece was even worthy of the Shadyside Academy of Visual Arts sending an acceptance application. Which then she accepted to attend for the summer term. Sure, he would rather her go there for three months rather than the entire school year, but what is he going to do for the summer? Him, Buffy, and Jonah don’t make the most exciting group. They almost relied on Andi for what they were doing. And with TJ, that’s basically over. So now he’s basically going to spend his summer at home, more than likely helping his parents with work. Just as he was about to give up sobbing and accept his fate of the worst summer ever, his phone chimed. The laziness is too strong right now as he simply throws a pillow at his nightstand in hopes of it actually doing anything. When the phone chimes again, Cyrus decides to be the most active he has been that day and picks up his phone. A text from Andi. An urgent one, as indicated by the lack of emojis, the over usage of exclamation points, and it being all caps. Apparently, she needs him at the art studio. After grunting for a few seconds, Cyrus laid back down and tossed his phone to the end of the bed. Andi probably wants to show off another project before she leaves and see her friends one last time. He wants to support her, but it’s getting harder to feel any sort of happiness. His world is falling apart by the day and it seems like there’s no hope of it getting better. Later, a loud knock on his door interrupted his thoughts of whether or not he’ll find a boyfriend. Once again, Cyrus threw a pillow with the expectation of it working. Instead, the soft thud was sort of a cue to let the person come in. Andi walked in, which made Cyrus cover his face with his dinosaur plushie. Andi walked into the room and gently placed herself on the end of the bed. Her expression is clearly upset with a bit of worry. “Cyrus, why didn’t you come?” Cyrus rumbled a bit before saying something inaudible due to the plushie over his mouth. Andi taps his arm. He removes the toy and sits up a little. “Why would I?” Andi wasn’t expecting this kind of response, or this behavior. He was always so cheerful and enthusiastic. Anything related to his friends he was always there for. “Did you read the text?” “Not really.” Cyrus says as he lays back down. Any feelings that he previously had are long gone. Seeing Andi now not sadness, but emptiness. “I’m not in the mood to do anything.” “The art gallery opened a new exhibit!” “What’s it about?” “Nothing!” Cyrus raised an eyebrow. He sits up on his elbows and looks Andi in the eyes. “Huh?” Andi excitedly got off the bed and walks around the room. She overexaggerates her hand movements as she talks. “It’s nothing, but it’s everything! I can’t believe they would think of this, but it’s genius! Some might call it lazy, but I call it creative.” “What exactly are you talking about?” Cyrus gets up and attempts to keep up with Andi. “The nothingness.” Andi continues. “It’s an entire area of white. White walls, white blocks, white accessories. Anyone can paint, design, draw, or do whatever they want! I texted you to see if you wanted to try creating something. Probably with me, Buffy, and Jonah.” Andi finally calms down and Cyrus places his hands on her shoulders. The two lock eyes, seemingly calming Andi down. Cyrus, however, has those teary eyes. “Andi, I’m not in the mood for anything.” Andi sighed and looked at her feet. She was, for once, at a lose for words. Her whole life Cyrus was by her side and would do anything if she asked. He was always there for his friends. As she looks into his eyes, she can see something that she’s not used to. Fear. “Well,” Andi starts to say. “How about you go and do something yourself? You can express what you’re feeling. Like what I did with the stereotypes.” Cyrus shakes his head. “Don’t think that’s a good idea.” “Why not?” Cyrus takes a deep breath. He turns away from Andi and faces his dresser. Pictures of him and TJ covered the top. Each one was from a special moment they had together. From when Cyrus first visited TJ’s job, when they had a picnic at the swings, and when they had Valentines Day at The Spoon because they didn’t have dates and went as friends. Instead of smiling from looking at the pictures, it only made him cry. “I’m afraid that if I do anything else, my world would get worse. I’m afraid of letting certain people know how I feel, or even tell them who I really am. Problem is, I don’t know how or how they’ll feel. I have a dream that might never come true now, and it’s got me feeling this way.” Cyrus told her. “I this this might not make that much sense, but I don’t how to express myself.” “How about with art?” Andi asks. She pulls out paint supplies from her bag and places them on the dresser. “The world revolves at your heart. Today you can create your best version and trust your intuition. There is no dream that you can't reach. You have everything to make it happen. And that everything is in your mind and nothing can go wrong. Say what you keep in your mind. Lights shine when you shout your truth. There's no more time, don't forget. It's your story, you decide your color to paint.” Although he wasn’t one hundred percent sure what she said, he understood it all. He looks at the supplies. Not to surprisingly, the paint tubes are the colors of the rainbow. He takes another deep breath. With one look at Andi, he nods. Next thing Cyrus knew was that there’s a blank canvas in front of him. Andi had taken him to the art gallery and had given him extra supplies. When they arrived, the exhibit already had work done to it, including a mural from Walker. They were lucky enough to get this generous space. After spending more than enough time analyzing the supplies, Cyrus finally started working. He picks up the red and splashes it across the canvas. His face matches the color by how frustrated he is. The only thing he can think of in this moment is Kira, and how she came between him and TJ. Next is orange. Then yellow. And then green. And lastly blue. Blue has been said is the warmest color by some, but Cyrus can only feel coldness. Now TJ is on his mind, but only the terrible moments. When he saw TJ giving Kira a piggyback ride, to where they were hugging, and the worst moment of them all. TJ and Kira at the swing set. His swing set. Looking at his piece, he feels like something’s missing. Yeah, the purple. He adds a dash of purple to the bottom and attempts to blend as much as he could. After taking a final look at his creation, he smiled for the first time in days. The painting looks like one huge, deconstructed, extra flavorful rainbow. A few peace signs and hearts circled around the edges. Two boys are in the center, holding hands. One of the boys is holding a muffin, the other wearing a hoodie. Cyrus was so into his painting that he didn’t hear someone approach from behind. A tap on his shoulder startled him, also causing him to turn around. His face lit up, both in shock, fear, and happiness. His knees weakened and he could barely stand up. Now he was wondering who invited TJ. TJ rubs the back of his neck. He couldn’t make himself look Cyrus in the eyes. Cyrus was the first to say anything. “Why are you here?” “Andi invited me?” TJ answered a tad later. Although not looking directly at him, Cyrus could tell he’s upset and needs to say something. “She said you were creating something, and I wanted to be here for support. Like a good friend. If I still am your friend.” At those words, he managed to look at Cyrus. Cyrus could see tears forming. This reminds him of the gun incident and how TJ was acting afterwards when he lost his other friends. Even though Cyrus couldn’t take seeing TJ this way, it felt good given how TJ had made him feel. TJ looks at the painting and awes. “This is amazing. You sure you aren’t an artist?” Cyrus chuckles a little. His cheeks blush but hides it. “It’s just what I’m feeling. And who I am.” Upon further inspection, TJ notices the two people in the center. His face becomes confused as he tries to figure out who they are. Obviously, one was Cyrus, but had mixed thoughts regarding the second boy. “Who’s the other boy?” Now Cyrus was completely red. He face palms himself hard enough to leave a bruise, but he didn’t care about that. All he cares about now is that his crush is literally standing in front, and asking about, his basically coming out painting showing that he wishes the two of them would date. He wishes one of his parents were here to help calm him down. “It’s you.” Cyrus faintly says. His voice cracked a little and was a pitch higher than normal. “Surprise. I’m gay.” “Hey, gay. Me gay too.” The next sounds out of Cyrus’s mouth definitely weren’t English words or sounds. It was more like the random sound effects from cartoons. He attempts cleaning out his ears with his fingers to make sure nothing was clogging them. Sure enough, his ears are clean. TJ wipes his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. “Yeah, I’m gay too. You couldn’t tell? I also have the biggest, dorkiest crush on you. Why do you think I’ve been upset when I thought you wouldn’t be my friend anymore?” Cyrus’s mouth stands wide open. It took him a minute, but he finally found the right word to say. “Same.” They both laugh. Cyrus looks around and sees an empty area in the corner. He gets TJ’s attention and nods in that direction. “Wanna create something together?” “It’s a date.”

#andi mack #tyrus #fanfiction

[doktorpeace]

coffee emoji + Persona

I’m a big fan of Persona as an overall series, I actually just started Innocent Sin the other day so I can finally get P2 under my belt. As a whole the mainline franchise does a great job writing meaningful stories full of great character interactions which all serve to accent each entry’s core themes. Persona 3 has some of the strongest and most consistent writing of any RPG I've ever played with regards to quality and execution on its themes, which is a big part of why it's my favorite one. All of the members of SEES change meaningfully as characters by the end of just the base game, not to mention additional content like The Answer, or the Persona 4 Arena Duology (which, funnily, are way better through the lenses of the P3 cast than the P4 cast), and especially more niche but still canon content like the Drama CDs which do a great job of filling the listener in on what the other members do while Minato is away or sick or asleep. Spoilers: They're really gay and not in a queerbaiting way either. Did you ever think it's out of nowhere that Yukari and Mitsuru are dating at the end of Persona 4 Arena Ultimax? These explain how they started dating and also talk about Akihiko and Shinjiro's relationship in romantic terms, comparing it directly to Junpei and Chidori's. Basically, Junpei is canonically the Token Straight of SEES and I think that's wonderful.That said the franchise really botches it at times. Persona 4 especially fucks up by directly undermining its own core theme of ‘Be true to yourself’ with its treatment of almost every playable character. Like, seriously: Yukiko decides to abandon her dreams to do what she's told when that's what her whole social link is about not doing. Kanji is openly bisexual now but his sexuality still treated as a joke by Yosuke and Teddie. Rise decides to abandon her beliefs and just keep working in the idol industry because other people want her to. Yosuke was written as a closeted gay teenager but had all of his gay content locked away from access despite being finished and on the disc. And most especially Naoto, who they build up as a very good representation of a trans man with a strong personal narrative arc but the INSTANT he joins your party everyone's like "But you're really a girl, right?" and then in order to get him to date you you have to CONSTANTLY undermine his gender identity and what he's comfortable with. It's shitty content and really inexcusable regardless of what game it were to be in but ESPECIALLY because of this game's core themes.And that all is genuinely really sad and infuriating because 4′s plot and all of its NPC social links are REALLY good! There’s still a lot to enjoy there but like, damn if it isn’t disheartening how they got so scared to letting characters meaningfully change and/or be gay that they were actively willing to ruin the main theme of the game. The franchise after 3 really kind of has an issue with letting playable characters meaningfully grow and change and also with LGBT content in general, with some minor examples being good like Lala Escargot, but otherwise just removing it altogether unless it's for Jokes™ which aren't funny and are based on annoying stereotypes. Not even 3 is perfect about this but at least almost every adult member of SEES is canonically LGBT and good representation so I can kind of excuse how bad that one scene is. I've heard 2 is actually quite progressive even by today's standards and from what I know about it it is, so I'm excited to see how it handles this kind of content.Honestly, Atlus used to be really cutting edge and daring with the kinds of themes and content they were willing to put into Persona but ever since 4 hit it big and the franchise got mainstream attention they've been kind of cowardly about it. P5 is a big step up from P4 in terms of overall writing quality, the party members are more interesting and are allowed to change at least a little bit by the game's end but it still fucks up more than I'd like. Its representation of mental illness and people on the spectrum are quite nice in my opinion but it still won't let you be gay even though Yusuke has the most unique dates of any character in the game! Come on, AT LEAST let us date Yusuke who already reads VERY MUCH as more than friends. Also make Ryuji a romance option and don't make Akechi a romance option because I don't want that shit. I want good characters to be romanceable.The spinoffs are all kinda just there to me. Like, they're a decent enough distraction but they absolutely do not have the love and quality put into the writing for me to really have much fun with them. Characters who were already kind of flat like Chie become really annoying and characters who WERE really well developed and three dimensional like Akihiko still get reduced to just 'Musclehead Protein Man' which is fucking stupid. Only P4A and P4AU really do any of the characters justice in terms of writing quality but even then only really the P3 Cast and Naoto get good and interesting story content. Everyone else just get schlock. So whatever. P4A and P4AU are super fun to play though, mechanically they did an excellent job realizing each character in a way that feels authentic to their personality, if not their gameplay niche, in their home games. I can only hope P5A doesn't have some bullshit timeline thing to get the P4 characters out of aging and advancing as people. They NEED the treatment P4A gave SEES. Show me out of shape middle manager at Junes 24 year old Yosuke, Atlus you fucking cowards. There's so much room for advancement and growth with these characters but at the same time I know they either won't do it by introducing some dumb timeline bullshit OR they'll fuck it up and like, make Naoto a big tiddie ultra femme looking person to REALLY try and tell us "NO REALLY NAOTO IS CIS IGNORE HIS ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC AND ALL OF HIS WRITING IN PERSONA 4 AND ALSO HOW IN PERSONA 4 GOLDEN WE LEANED EVEN HARDER INTO THE TRANS NARRATIVE WITH HIS ADDITIONAL CONTENT"You can always count on the gameplay to advance and get better at least, so that's nice. I'm not really gonna discuss that though other than to say P3 not letting you directly control party members serves its themes and writing well and isn't even hard to play around if you just use the Command Wheel to issue orders to your party members, the AI is pretty smart. Not Xenoblade Chronicles 1 smart, but still pretty fuckin' smart.Anyway, basically, I like Persona a lot as a franchise. It's a flawed franchise that I want and expect better out of than what it delivers in some aspects but on the whole it's hard to deny the quality of the overall products. I just hope that Atlus listens to the kind of feedback they've been getting in the last few years and really start becoming more daring again with the kind of content they put into the games again. Go harder on those themes and really challenge people's mindsets, this franchise has so much potential for that and it just scratches the surface really.Oh, also, Persona fans on the whole are some of the absolute dumbest motherfuckers I've ever seen on the internet. They'll really ignore blatant shit that's extremely clear just because it wasn't said in such plain wording a child would understand it while jumping through 70 mental rings to try and explain how Kanji isn't REALLY gay or how Naoto is ACTUALLY cis or how Akechi is actually the deepest most amazing character in the franchise, or whatever. That and/or they're just straight men who use the term 'waifu' and just reduce all of the female characters to 'which one do I want to fuck most' while ignoring everything else about the games because all they value these for are as dating simulators to try and fill the sad, gaping hole that is their social life. Some of them will actually get mad at people for discussing the psychological or political aspects of the series as if that's not what this IP is founded on because they're too stupid to think of anything other than which fictional underaged girl they want to fuck. Persona fans are fucking stupid and really make it embarrassing to like this franchise at times.This basically turned into me yelling about LGBT content in Persona but honestly that’s like, the aspect that needs the most constructive criticism. The psychological, theological, and political themes are generally really well handled. Worth discussion for sure but not what I want to talk about right now.

[clovexei]

An Honest Review of the Emoji Movie

Longer than intended! Tbh I’m just leaving this here as physical evidence of the fact that I watched the whole thing. What was The Emoji Movie? Honestly we just don’t know.

The world-building was cool in concept but underdeveloped. It feels like a knock-off of Inside Out, but I spent most of the movie plagued by the same sort of stressful confusion that accompanies the Cars universe. A sampling:

Where do emojis come from? Are they born? Are they initially created in heterosexual sets of two so that they are able to procreate? If they're not born, why do some of them have children? How does the Princess family work, where there are apparently no male princesses? Is the Poop emoji an only father? What about the emojis who don't apparently have children/a heterosexual counterpart? Are those emojis going to grow old and die? What happens then? Do emojis die natural deaths? Do emojis age?

Why do the face emojis have to express the same emotion all the time and not just when they're on screen? It's like they're actors, but they have to be in their roles forever. Why? Why not just take pictures of the emojis and put those in the cubicles? Why do emojis have to physically stand in the cubes and wait to be picked, if they're only going to be face-scanned anyway? If there are multiple emojis, do they all take turns in the cubicles? Do they have to eat or sleep? If they do, then why? Aren't they made of code? Do they have to be in the cubicles whenever the phone is on? What if that's all day, every day?

Most of the questions I have about this movie carry over from world-building into the plot. Most of the events driving the plot feel like thinly-veiled plot holes. For example, the reason Alex is going to wipe his phone is to keep it from acting up – but it's acting up because Gene and company are moving from app to app. Buy why do the emojis hopping from app to app activate each app? If they're bopping around behind the scenes, why does that activate the user interface?

Another: A big scene happens in a Just Dance app, but Just Dance isn't an app? It's a motion-based dancing game, and you can get accessory-style apps for it, but the game itself is only on consoles/systems with a sophisticated motion-following camera. So it's not something that Gene an Jailbreak would be able to activate as a game on a phone.

(As an aside, I am human proof that you can suck at dancing and still pass levels in Just Dance so cut Jailbreak some slack, she was doing fine.)

Hi-5 is presented with a character goal (be a part of the Elite Favorite Emoji Club), but he doesn't actually do anything to achieve this goal. He wants to be a part of the club, joins Gene on his adventure, learns nothing, and gets to have his goal as a result, despite having no character growth and no indication that he's done anything to actually earn his goal. It's given to him as a way to wrap up the movie in a neat little bow.

As much as I didn't like that Jailbreak rejecting Gene's romantic advances was what finally turned Gene into the “Meh” emoji of his dreams, I do appreciate that him getting his Good Feelings back wasn't dependent on her reciprocating his feelings. That's a very good post-rejection message, and as much as this movie was weird and bad-romantic (“I've known you for twenty minutes but I LOVE YOU so let's  BE TOGETHER FOREVER like in the FAIRY TALES”), at least it dodged that particular bullet.

The characters in general were likeable but ultimately uninteresting. It's the same standard fare that I think is the easy trap to fall into: bland but relatable main guy, tomboy girl, and comedic side character.

Jailbreak was my favorite, but even so, I'm not sure what to think about what her arc was. The intended direction felt like “girl feels oppressed by rigid gender roles and leaves home, forms agreement with fellow outcast to further both her goals and his goals, realizes that she can be different and returns home to create her own rules about how she represents herself.” And this largely feels like what does happen in the movie, but I'm not sure how I feel about the execution of it?

She makes some interesting comments about feminism that seem like Character Flavor, and have elements that fit into the story overall, but her backstory and thought process isn't explored beyond “I had to do princess stuff and I HATE princess stuff so I left.” It falls into a style that I think is in vogue right now: to present girls as being Princesses and Not-Princesses. (This is especially popular in movies that are deliberately lampshading Disney's princess movies, but Brave did this, too.) And while I like that, at the end, Jailbreak realized (apparently) that she didn't need to not be girly in order to be happy and express herself, I don't know if that message carried over really well in general. We last see her in her original princess design as she runs the tech board for the emoji cubicles, so I guess she's comfortable with herself? And she's not picking Princess or Not-Princess but occupying a gray area in the middle? So that's good? But everyone else is still in one box or the other? So that's maybe not good? But with Gene paving the way to “be different,” there's a place for her and for others to be more socially flexible? But it felt like a sudden and easy resolution to something that was something that was so ingrained in their society that Gene was going to be executed for diverging from it.

Anyway. That was a tangent. TL;DR: Jailbreak is very queer and I like her but if feminism was going to be a part of her character arc, then I want it to be done with a lot more focus and nuance than there was? Yeah.

I liked Gene in the beginning of the film, when he was set up to be this energetic force for ENTHUSIASM, but Hi-5 muscled him out of that. Hi-5 is excitable, energetic, causes more trouble than good, and honestly, why do they even need Hi-5 as a character? He has the role that should have been absorbed by Gene. Within the first five minutes of Gene's introduction, we know that Gene is goofy, cheerful, and doesn't fit in. Hi-5 coming in as the goofy and cheerful side character demonstrably pushes aside those traits in Gene so that Gene can, nearly every time, play the straight man to Hi-5's hi-jinks.

If Hi-5 wasn't in the movie, then Gene would be both comic relief and the protagonist, which suits the energetic, playful way in which he was introduced. He would also have a much more interesting dynamic with Jailbreak: Jailbreak is jaded and bitter; Gene is (or should have been allowed to be) peppy and enthusiastic. With that push-pull dynamic, the interactions between the two would have been much more exaggerated and engaging, and it would have been believable that Gene encourages Jailbreak to be less standoffish and isolated.

Recommendation: Instead of relying on one-time gags and overdone food-related jokes, drop Hi-5 as a character and let the interactions between Gene and Jailbreak carry the comedic weight of the film.

Also, what is the target audience for this movie? Kids? Kids younger than 12? High schoolers? What do you gain by portraying students who have smart phones as mindless phone-obsessed zombies? Aren't you alienating your target audience? You're making fun of the people you're making this movie for?

There's a lot of that: of the creators being out of touch with their target audience. The gag of the text-based emoticons being old and out-of-date struck me as odd, when people are still using emoticons like that all the time. And, on top of that, we've developed new ones.

I also can't tell if Jailbreak's asides about feminism and female stereotypes are supposed to reflect her Cool, Modern persona or if they're meant to be funny? I think they're supposed to be the former, but they come across as the latter, especially since she gets so angry about the “Birds come when princesses whistle” stereotype... and then that stereotype turns out to be true and also plot relevant.

It did have some good jokes overall. The constant mismatch between Gene's parents having no visual expressions or tonal inflections paired with lines like, “I'm on the edge of my seat,” was right up my alley of humor. I also liked the Devil emoji's poop joke followed by the Poop emoji's tired sigh and “Aim higher, Steven,” but overall there were rather too many toilet jokes. “Aim higher” is kind of a good overall takeaway: this movie had jokes, but most of them felt like the same basic fare that one can usually find in kid's movies. It felt a lot like the humor in The Smurfs: The Hidden Village in that they cracked a lot of jokes, but most of them were overused or borderline mean, and so I didn't spend much time laughing, despite the fact that I was watching a comedy.

As for overall theme/message, I am biased on this front because, with little effort, this movie is a really odd, definitely unintentional allegory for, like, gay conversion therapy? And why it's not good? And why it's okay to be queer? This movie is about a cheerful, enthusiastic young man who disrupts serious social norms in his home community, who sets out to find a way to artificially alter his genetic make-up and encounters a young woman who likewise does not fit in and has rejected the social role/gender role she was expected to embrace, and the two of them realize together that what makes them different isn't bad and their differences should be embraced both by themselves and the wider community. Gay.

That metaphor is PROBABLY DEFINITELY very unintentional, but the romance between Gene and Jailbreak feels ham-fisted even without the queer undertones.

So, for a takeaway message, we have “It's okay to be unique,” which is the same message 50% of the rest of the kids' movies have these days, so cool, I guess. It's good to have that message reinforced, but there are also, as a result, more cohesive movies with the same message but better plotting and more interesting characters.

Overall Verdict:

Not great, could have been worse. I left The Bee Movie brimming with a confused and impotent rage, but this movie left me with vague good feelings and no deep impressions. I couldn't remember anyone's name either during the viewing or after. The animation was stretchy and bright and expressive, which I really liked. And the soundtrack was bright and bouncy. But the message was muddled, and I think the world-building/plot could have been (and should have been) a lot stronger than it was.

#do I tag the movie in this? #I just like writing about B movies

[normanisource]

Inside a Burbank rehearsal studio, the women of Fifth Harmony — surrounded by the thousands of album booklets they’ve autographed for fans, the most dedicated of whom are known as “Harmonizers” — are having an emoji debate.

They want to use the digital icons to accompany the online reveal of the track list for their upcoming self-titled album, due Aug. 25 via Syco Music/Epic.

Dinah Jane Hansen, 20, suggested a finger pointing downward as a clue for the album’s lead single, “Down,” but the rest weren’t as easy.

“We need to go quicker, guys,” Ally Brooke Hernandez, 24, instructed as they struggled to stifle giggles.

After all, there’s other, more important business for Fifth Harmony to convey in 2017.

“We should mention we wrote most of these,” said Normani Kordei, 21.

Co-writing and ownership of records is a first for these women — since being put together on the U.S. edition of the televised singing competition “The X Factor,” the members of Fifth Harmony, which also includes Lauren Jauregui, 21, have struggled to assert their independence and prove they’re singular artists who are not just a made-for-TV creation.

We’re so in sync, the four of us. When you have a strong unit, there’s no stopping you.

— Lauren Jauregui

That Fifth Harmony even made it to album No. 3 is something of a feat. Just a few months ago, the group was parting ways — acrimoniously — with one of its founding members as rumors of conflict hit a fever pitch.

And yet in recent weeks, the act has filmed two music videos — including a sexy, lo-fi clip for “Angel,” its new single that was produced by Skrillex and carries hip-hop-inflections — and its members are rehearsing for a tour and Fifth Harmony’s debut at the MTV Video Music Awards on Aug. 27.

“It’s the most monumental moment of our careers,” Kordei said. And the turnaround couldn’t have come quicker. Though the act seemed to be coming into its own with last year’s well-received release “7/27,” there was enough behind-the-scenes drama to fill a whole other reality show.

In December, the group appeared to be in crisis when it announced that singer Camila Cabello had exited just hours after a performance.

The group claims Cabello informed them via her representatives that she was out, something Cabello has rebutted.

And then things got messier.

Shortly after news of Cabello’s departure broke, a recording was leaked of Jauregui tearfully telling Hernandez that the group was being treated like “literal slaves.”

They were exhausted from touring — a period in which more than one member lost loved ones — and frustrated by a lack of creative fulfillment. From the beginning, Fifth Harmony has said that it had zero say in collaborators or the creation of its music, often receiving songs the day before studio sessions.

Often, its members say, the anxiety was crippling, and they started to resent performing. The dream of being the preeminent girl group of its generation was proving to be anything but.

We’ve been taking leaps of faiths — and trusting ourselves.

— Dinah Jane Hansen

“We lost the magic of it all,” Hansen added. “We were doing songs just to do songs.”

The magic, such as it was, began in 2012 when the thenteens entered the short-lived U.S. edition of “The X Factor” as solo contestants. They fizzled out but were then packaged as a group by Simon Cowell and then-Epic Records Chairman L.A. Reid.

Fifth Harmony took third place in the competition, scoring a joint deal with Epic Records and Cowell’s Syco Music.

Though a wave of boy bands had found recent success — including One Direction (assembled on the British version of “X Factor” — no girl group had managed to hit it big like Danity Kane, Pussycat Dolls, Destiny’s Child, the Spice Girls or TLC did in their prime.

Today, pop is dominated by assertive yet solo female artists, and Fifth Harmony risked looking like a relic from another era. And that doesn’t even consider the simple challenge of cultivating chemistry among a group of teenage girls who met on a TV show.

“When you get in a group, you have to go in understanding it’s not just about you and your ideas. It is a collaboration,” said TLC’s Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas. “When you think of [girl groups], most of them don’t stay together, because it’s not easy at all. Chemistry is something you either have or don’t have.”

Epic worked heavily to sell Fifth Harmony, keeping the group on the road constantly, often booking concerts at malls. “Every season, for 4½ years … I was a zombie,” Jauregui recalls.

From the outside, there was much to celebrate.

Fifth Harmony’s 2015 debut, “Reflection,” saw the group pick up where Destiny’s Child and TLC had left off, with an album full of slinky dance-pop and R&B/hip-hop-informed girl power anthems — with breakout single “Worth It” becoming one of the year’s biggest earworms.

The act then made history last year as the first girl group to score a top 10 Billboard Hot 100 smash in nearly a decade with the snappy “Work From Home.”

Yet the women in Fifth Harmony said they it felt burnt out and controlled by the label — like “puppets,” they agree. The women pushed though teary onstage breakdowns, infighting and family feuding.

“It came to a point where I’d catch myself onstage and realize, ‘I’m not feeling this,’” Kordei said. “It scared me, because this is what I want to do for the rest of my life.”

Today, the women are relaxed and comfortable discussing their recent history. They’re dressed in active wear — Kordei’s shirt has “Phenomenal Woman” emblazoned across it, while Jauregui is wearing the anti-discrimination top Frank Ocean recently made famous — and their faces are makeup-free.

Jauregui reflected on the stress of the past.

We’ve been grateful to have a machine behind us. But we definitely needed respect — and we had to demand it.

— Ally Brooke Hernandez

“You’re in front of so many people that you know love you,” she said. “To be in a space where you don’t connect or when you feel bored in that kinda setting ...”

“You feel guilty,” Kordei offered.

“It’s overwhelming to have your whole, entire life planned for something you don’t feel passionate about,” said Jauregui, the room falling silent. “You’re not seeing your family, your friends. You’re not doing anything for yourself. It was depressing, draining and sad. Now, it’s a whole different thing.”

In fact, the members of Fifth Harmony had long been fighting for the autonomy and respect that they are only now receiving. In late 2015, Hernandez contacted outspoken L.A. music lawyer Dina LaPolt, who helped the group clean house.

LaPolt got them new management with the powerhouse firm Maverick and helped transfer the Fifth Harmony trademark from Cowell to its members, giving them complete ownership of the brand.

A more favorable contact with Epic was then negotiated, but the women still weren’t in the driver’s seat when it came to music.

Everything we’ve been through, the ups and downs, I really believe it was to shape and mold us for this moment.

— Normani Kordei

“We were 15, 16 and 19 when we started,” Jauregui said. “We didn’t have any basic understanding of business, and we’re being thrown into this world of wolves where they really screw you over with contracts. We were really in a line of adversity.”

After Cabello’s departure, the women realized they wanted to work on repairing the group’s dynamic as well as its relationship with the label in order to become more vocal about its career ambitions. “We all got on the same page … and fought for our say,” Hansen said.

A key ally was Epic A&R executive Chris Anokute, who joined their team during the recording of “7/27.”

“They were uninspired, beaten up, bruised. They weren’t gelling,” Anokute said. “You could tell there were some things going on between the girls ... issues with management. They started venting their insecurities and desire to write songs, and I realized they were never a part of it.”

Anokute pushed Reid to commit to another album after the turmoil with Cabello (Reid left the label in May), bolstering the group’s confidence.

“We are being more respected this time around,” Hansen said. “We are in a place where we know what we want and who we are. We’ve recognized our truth and what we have to offer — and our power.”

I love these girls and consider them sisters. I have such high visions for us, the four of us. Everything that has come true this year has been validation.

— Ally Brooke Hernandez

Fifth Harmony finding its voice shows on the new album — its title a nod to the group’s newfound independence.

The album was recorded in seven weeks at Santa Monica’s Windmark Recording, and the women co-wrote more than half of the songs on the project — splitting into pairs and penning the type of tunes they’ve wanted to do alongside handpicked producers, including Dreamlab, the Stereotypes, Harmony Samuels, the Monsters & Strangerz and Tommy Brown.

The record is raw, soulful, sexy and fully the group’s own vision.

On a recent afternoon, the pop of a Champagne bottle echoed around a boardroom inside Epic Records’ headquarters on the Sony lot in Culver City.

Cheers, air kisses and hugs awaited the ladies as they filed into a room stuffed with label staff gathered to hear Fifth Harmony’s new album — a mountain of tacos and bottles of tequila and Champagne awaiting them.

Before the music began, acting Epic President Sylvia Rhone led the room in a toast.

“To the baddest ladies in the business — it’s a pleasure to have worked with you guys,” Rhone said, her glass of Champagne hoisted high above her head as the women looked on with glassy eyes, clutching one another’s hands.

“It finally feels like we are living our lives. We’ve taken ownership,” Kordei said. “It’s been there all along, but maybe we weren’t confident enough or bold enough. This time, we’ve got the extra fire … and we don’t care what anyone else has to say.

“I kinda wish it could have been like this all along,” Kordei said with a sigh.

Jauregui, unarguably Fifth Harmony’s most outspoken member — she’s the first to admit group members barely listen to their earlier work — takes a bolder stance.

“We would have freaking dominated,” she said.

#normani kordei #normani hamilton #fifth harmony #5h #all #article #la times article #2017

[mst3kproject]

207: Wild Rebels

I guess if it's time to tackle the movies I've been trying to avoid, my next review should be a biker flick.  I don't really like the biker episodes, but then, I don't really like biker movies in general, and the fact that MST3K naturally chose bad biker movies doesn't help me enjoy something I didn't enjoy much to begin with.  Now, bad monster movies, on the other hand...

The hero, I guess, of Wild Rebels is racecar driver Rod Tillman.  Other than owning a magical disappearing, reappearing guitar, he is not at all an interesting person.  After wrecking his car, he decides to get out of racing and goes to a bar where he meets a biker gang consisting of leader Jeeter, ultra-violent Banjo, Designated Chick Linda, and mute Fats.  They need a getaway driver for their next robbery, and I guess none of them can drive a stick shift.  Rod wants nothing to do with them, probably because of the Nazi flag in their hideout, but then the police ask him to help them gather evidence against the gang.  With Rod in tow, the bikers rob a gun shop, then a bank – not because they really want the money, but just for kicks!

I hadn't seen this episode for a while, and I'd forgotten Joel's joke about the Nazi-themed bikers having Trump's Art of the Deal on their shelves.  Everything old is new again.

This is one of those movies that it's kind of hard to say anything about.  It's bleak and dull, and in the closing sketch Joel and the bots already went through its low points quite thoroughly.  “The villains were so cliché, they were laughable,” “so the hero was supposed to be unattractive and spineless,” and so forth.  That basically covers Wild Rebels.  It's a series of tropes and symbols standing in for a story, with a 'hero' we're never given any reason to be interested in.

The very first thing we see Rod do in the movie is give up.  He's wrecked his car, so he decides to give up on racing entirely.  He meets a girl in a bar, but when the gang tells her to get lost so they can talk to him, he gives up on her with only a token protest.  This is actually pretty realistic, given that he barely knows her and the bikers are fairly intimidating, but in the context of his abandoning racing, it just seems to cement 'quitter' as his core character trait.

That needn't ruin the movie, of course – maybe Rod's character arc is learning to see things through, or to stand up for himself!  But character arcs just aren't something this movie does, and Rod never seems to change.  His return to racing was a setup to get the gang's attention, not Rod actually trying again.  When Banjo jealously attacks him, it looks like Rod's starting to grow a spine as he successfully defends himself, but it's a false alarm.  At the climax of the film he just cowers at the top of the lighthouse stairs waiting to be shot, rather than doing anything that might be considered heroic.

The gang members are stereotyped thugs, who seem to do what they do just Because It's Evil.  Linda even says as much: they aren't interested in money or cars or high living, they just want the adrenaline rush.  They have no backstories, no explanation of why they are the way they are.  They surround themselves with Nazi symbols, like the swastikas on their jackets or the flag in their hideout, but they don't seem to have any actual ideology.  The fascist imagery serves only to reinforce that they are bad people, which has already been amply estalished by their behaviour.  It's a lazy substitute for proper characterization.

I don't know how old any of these characters are supposed to be. The actors appear to have been in their late twenties to early thirties.  In the serenade scene Linda looks like she's around forty. The slang they use never rings true.  It's like your parents trying to use emojis.

The romance between Rod and Linda is as unmotivated as anything else.  He knows she's one of the murderous thugs he's trying to bring to justice, and while he might pretend to be interested in her as part of his act, he has no reason to develop real feelings for her. She, meanwhile, repeatedly calls him a square and knows that he's an untrustworthy outsider.  She might pretend to be interested in him in order to keep an eye on him, but again, there's no reason for her to actually fall for him.  They have no chemistry and nothing in common.  Why does Linda kill Jeeter to save Rod?  Does shooting a friend who trusted her really give her the kicks she craves?  Or could the writers not think of any other way to end the movie?

The entire dramatis personae feel like they exist only as players in this particular story.  We don't really know what they were doing before the movie began, and we have no idea what Rod is likely to do next.  It doesn't seem like his story is over, because it never really began.  He had no personal stake in any of this – he just drifted into contact with the gang, and seems to decide to become a police informant merely because he doesn't have any better idea what to do with himself.  T-Bird Gang was not a good movie, but Frank had his father's death to avenge and was determined to do it with or without police support.  That's a character motivation.  Rod doesn't have that.

Because the characters have no real personality or motivation, the story cannot really be about anything.  T-Bird Gang was about a quest for justice, and feels unsatisfying because it does not end in the way that theme would seem to demand.  Wild Rebels feels bleak and hollow because it doesn't even have a theme.  Movies like The Violent Years and I Accuse my Parents tried to be about why people turn to crime.  Village of the Giants tried to be about the idea of rebellion.  Wild Rebels isn't trying to be about anything at all.

If the film-makers had a goal beyond 'get the movie in the can and earn a few bucks', I think it was simply to make us feel as bad as possible.  The beginning, in which Rod gives up on racing despite the encouragement of his friends, is depressing.  The bar scene contains cringeworthy bad dancing, almost on a par with The Creeping Terror.  The bikers murder a couple of barflies for no good reason.  The gang's hideout is a ramshackle place full of paraphernalia associated with the most despicable parts of history. There are multiple musical numbers and they're all terrible.  Joel describes the experience of watching Wild Rebels as like 'being dragged through a dark tarry abyss' and that's as accurate as anything else in the ending sketch.  There's nothing fun or exciting in the whole movie.

There are a couple of places where the movie is mildly entertaining, but never in the way it wants to be.  The bit with the syringe in the bank is laughably impractical.  The movie's signage would blend right into Killer Klowns from Outer Space – there's the Swinger's Club sign that looks like it was drawn with Crayola markers, and the Citrusville First National Bank that Tom Servo describes as “printed with electrician's tape on ceiling tile”.  Tires squeal on grass.  The movie ends in the world's artsiest railing kill.  'Citrusville' is where the Man-Thing's swamp is in Marvel comics.  Each of these is a nugget of amusement, but they don't add up to enough to make the movie worth watching even on that level.

Now that I've run out of things to say about the movie, I'm going to do something I don't usually do at any length, and talk about the episode.  The riffing is mostly pretty good, with some golden lines like blessed are the grease monkeys, for they will lube and Ronald McDonald, shaking his McBooty, and the joke about the ventriloquist's dummy trapped in Rod's suitcase.  The host sketches, with Wild Rebels Cereal and Dr. Forrester trying to figure out what ee-yuh-ka-ee! means, are instant classics.  But it's also got some very uncomfortable moments in it, as Joel and the bots make fun of a character's mental handicap.

We are told that Fats suffered a head injury that left him unable to speak.  He seems to otherwise have his wits about him – he can read, as demonstrated by his drawing the others' attention to the newspaper, he can certainly drive his motorcycle competently and he seems to know what's going on.  But when he's on screen, we get lines like blue light special on chromosomes – extra ones! or riffs delivered in 'stupid' voices.  There aren't that many of these, but they're very uncomfortable to hear.  The swastika-wearing characters in the movie actually treat Fats with more respect than the peanut gallery does!

On the other hand, this was also the episode that began some proper characterization for Gypsy. Wild Rebels was when we found out that most of her processing power is occupied with running the Satellite of Love, leaving little room for anything else but occasional thoughts of Richard Basehart.  Later episodes would develop Gypsy further, and she went on to become a rare example of a comedy character who is an outspoken feminist without being a bra-burning, man-hating joke.  Although I have to wonder... if she runs the 'higher functions of the ship', what kept the satellite going before Joel started building robots?  Did he simply take the ship's existing control computer and give her a way to express herself?  Or did Dr. Forrester and Dr. Erhardt send him up to a satellite with no functional life support, so that he had to build some before he ran out of air?

Eh, it's just a show.  I should really just relax.

#mst3k #reviews #wild rebels #tw: ableism #60s

[chrismaverickdotcom]

That was a Fucking Movie!!! (a Baby Driver Review)

Well that was a fucking movie! I know it seems like I say that in a lot of reviews. But it’s all about inflection. You can tell it’s different because of the word “fucking” See, I walk out of a lot of movies and I say something like… “well… that was a movie…” and it’s sort of like I’m half reminding myself that I did actually just watch a motion picture… or maybe I’m not really sure, so I’m sort of asking myself if that’s what I did.

That’s not the case here. Baby Driver is more like “Well!!!! THAT was a FUCKING MOVIE!!!”

And it really was. It was a MOVIE. A complete and total movie from start to finish. And what’s more, it was a genre movie. It’s basically a heist film. But it’s still a complete movie. A story. There’s like a beginning, a middle, and an end and everything!

I kind of forgot that was possible. Especially with a genre movies.

What really drove it home was the trailers. Before the movie there were trailers for Kingsmen 2, Daddy’s Home 2, Pitch Perfect 3, Bladerunner 2, Flatliners (2017), and Dark Tower. Four sequels, one reboot and the first film in a planned franchise. There was also a trailer for an upcoming horror movie called Wish Upon. Maybe there will only be one of those… but it’s a gimmick horror movie with a $12M budget. Those only exist on the dream that they hopefully kick off a franchise of cheap films that you can make over and over again. In other words, literally every movie they advertised before this film is part of a prospective series of films.

Because right now, as much as TV wants to be the movies, movies really really really want to be television. And this is becoming a serious problem. I have no problem with film franchises or cinematic universes. I love a good Spider-man movie as much as the next guy and I’m looking forward to seeing one next week. But there’s an issue when you’re only adapting existing intellectual property instead developing new stuff. Sooner or later you’re going to run out of good intellectual property to adapt and extend and then you’re going to have to start working with shit. What I’m saying is… who the fuck was asking for a Flatliners reboot? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Yeah… I didn’t think so. What’s next, adapting a fucking emoji film? Spoilers… yes, they’re actually making an emoji movie. Or rather they made one. It comes out in a couple weeks. Because… 💩

Anyway… Baby Driver isn’t that. In fact, Baby Driver is the opposite of that. Baby Driver is a FUCKING MOVIE!!!

The other problem with building films like this is that they are often built by committee. When you’re building a franchise, you want everything to run together. Your ultimate goal is to make money, so you need to create a world that is cohesive and repeatable more than you need to create art. This is a problem for both good franchises and bad. I don’t care if you’re Star Wars or the DCEU. When you lose the singular vision of the director, and your movie stops being a cohesive single story, then it begins to lose something. It’s not that those can’t be fun to watch. But they’re frequently not good movies. Fun, maybe, but not necessarily good. They often evolve into something else, because productization is more important than story or art.

Anyway… Baby Driver isn’t that either. In fact, Baby Driver is the opposite of that. Baby Driver is a FUCKING MOVIE!!!

And it really was. It was fucking great. Was it the best story? No. It was actually a relatively simple story. It was very formulaic. None of the characters were all that deep or fully developed. They were all pretty much one-note, in fact. Two seconds into seeing Jamie Foxx on screen you’ll say “oh… ok… he’s that guy.” Same with John Hamm. Same with Kevin Spacey. Same with Lily James, Same with Jon Bernthal.  And the same with Elza Gonzalez. Don’t expect any surprises out of the their characters. Whatever you get from your first impression of them… that’s pretty much who they are. That also includes the main character of Baby, played by Ansel Elgort. You get introduced to his quirks and persona in the first minute or two of the film, and from there on out, he’s pretty much just that. There are also a few big plot holes in it. The third act of the film could have more or less been avoided if the main character had not made a choice that he didn’t want to make but did so anyway for no apparent reason whatsoever. He is literally given a choice of A or B and basically says “well, if I choose B, the movie will end so I guess I’ll just go with A.” There’s not a lot of storytelling in this and there’s not a ton of emotional or character development.

And it wasn’t about that. This was about making a piece of art! There was some character development. There was some plot movement. But they were just tools used to construct the whole that is the stunning cinematic statement that is Baby Driver. The plot was no more important than the musical score. In fact, it was arguably less important. Because the film is constructed more like a symphony than a story. The music drives everything. In the same way that Mad Max: Fury Road was a film that was about the cinematography, this is a film that is about the score. And somehow it works. You know how I’ve said before that Sucker Punch is the most fun movie you can make without plot? Well this is what happens if you add just a little plot back in.. and a little bit of character… and then try to make it good. Roll the entire thing around fun action set pieces and bake at 350 until a movie rises…. allow to cool on a window sill…

And somehow it works. Baby Driver was a FUCKING MOVIE!!!

In other words, Zack Snyder wants to be Edgar Wright when he grows up.

He really does. This is exactly the kind of movie that I think Snyder wants to make. Only like… it’s good and stuff (actually its fucking great! if you haven’t been paying attention). What made it work is that Wright takes all the pieces and combines them into a vision that makes a statement with his medium. There’s a lot of “cool” bits in this movie. There are a lot of stunning scenes. But they are crafted together., They complete each other as a cohesive whole, rather than just being randomly strewn together because they were cool. Each piece compliments another. Jamie Foxx’s performance, by-the-numbers as it is (he’s played the basic character before), pushes the the plot forward. He provides a necessary complication in the world the film constructs. Elza Gonzalez’s character is pure sexiness, but she serves to develop both John Hamm and Lily James’s characters purely through contrast. The car chases and stunts while less epic than what you might expect in a Fast and Furious movie, work as plot points that literally move the story as the car travels through physical space perfectly tuned with the music that marks the passage of time. And each of these things combines to make the character of Baby, who honestly is as much of a simplistic stereotype as everyone else, amazingly compelling. You watch Elgort’s performance and you think “holy shit?!?!? where the fuck did the kid from Divergent learn how to act?!?!?”

The whole thing just works. Everything comes together and makes for a film that is better than the sum of it’s parts. Baby Driver was a FUCKING MOVIE!!!

And this is what I want. A movie that stands on its own. One of the things I always try to do with franchise films (especially the ones after the first) is ask myself “would you care about this at all if you didn’t know the source material?” This was my problem wirh Ghostbusters(2016). It wasn’t actually “good”; it was just a movie CALLED “Ghostbusters” that happened to have women in it. If it were called Spirit Killers, no one would have given a fuck about it either way. It would have been like Rough Night a couple weeks ago. But if Rough Night had been the same movie as it was and was just called Hangover 4: Ladies’ Night, a sequel in name only, it likely would have at least doubled if not tripled its box office. But at the cost of diluting the film marketplace even more. Because it’s not as good as Hangover was.

Baby Driver could have just as easily been called Heat 2: One Last Job or Gone in 60 More Seconds and tied into an existing franchise. It didn’t, It didn’t need to. It took itself seriously in and of itself and it works well in its own world. Not trying to set up a sequel and not trying to hold true to prequels that already exist. It is its own film with a beginning, middle and end. Just like this review.

And it was great… because Baby Driver is a FUCKING MOVIE!!!

★★★★¼(4.25 out of 5 stars)

Related articles

Film Review: Baby Driver

Watch: Ansel Elgort, Jamie Foxx and Lily James on the vital role of music in Edgar Wright’s Baby Driver

‘Baby Driver’ Trailer Remix: DJ Mike Relm Makes Music with Sound Effects, Dialogue & More

Baby Driver Will Make You Forget That You Hate Ansel Elgort

Watch James Corden, Jamie Foxx and Ansel Elgort Battle in ‘Phenomenal’ Riff-Off

Review: ‘Baby Driver’ is the summer heist movie you’ve been waiting for

‘Baby Driver’ is a summer movie that finally lives up to the hype

Edgar Wright’s ‘Baby Driver’: Everything We Learned on the Set

Cheryl Platz, Jacob Goessling, Samantha Jordan, Adam Rixey, Michelle Hall Kay, David Redd, Stephanie Siler, Ed Ryan, Anne Brannen liked this post

(function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1&appId=1449198322001470"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, "script", "facebook-jssdk"));

That was a Fucking Movie!!! (a Baby Driver Review) was originally published on ChrisMaverick dotcom

#Ansel Elgort #auteur #Baby Driver #Baby Driver (film) #directing #director #Edgar Wright #Eiza González #franchises #intellectual property #Jamie Foxx #Jon Hamm #Kevin Spacey #Lily James