#i know like the main character is a lesbian and the daughter of satan who is a twink here

[thedawningofthehour]

How come none of you told me how much the Hazbin Hotel soundtrack slaps?

#i'm not watching it yet i don't want to get hyperfixated and lose my rise hyperfixation before i finish doth #but man #i know like the main character is a lesbian and the daughter of satan who is a twink here #and might have two dads? i think lucifer is gay but that might just be the fandom fandoming #and there's some slutty guy there was a BUNCH of controversy over a few months ago on twitter #that's kind of it

[songofdefiance]

okay I'm like... a stranger things fan in that i enjoy the show but don't really engage with it very deeply (because it is VERY straight and somewhat predictable and hey, kudos to all the people who subvert it with fanfiction, which i also enjoy, but it's not something i want to write for)

BUT

i am also a huge fear street trilogy fan, fucking adore those movies, and lately my brain won't stop thinking about a stranger things au with the fear street characters

not everything fits neatly one-to-one, but here are a few ideas:

the main thing i got stuck on was the idea of cindy and alice kind of serving as a steddie parallel (so no alice until s4, sadly, but w/e), except i'd keep their backstory from 1978 - in that they used to be best friends, until cindy decided to try to live up to her rich, absentee parents' expectations, alienating herself from both alice and ziggy; cue ultimate Drama for their s4 reunion, when alice has been accused of murder and cindy is trying to keep all the kids safe

deena and sam being mike and el? look, i do think byler is adorable, but i also love the idea of the 90s baby lesbians being the mike/el parallel. deena is (i think) strong-willed enough to be the 'mike' in this situation, while sam is the one who's escaped the lab

kate is dustin. full stop. she's a straight-a student but she's also a massive nerd, and is assertive enough to kidnap cindy and get her to help in s2

i haven't really figured out who would be Nancy in this scenario bc even though Cindy is Steve (down to the polo shirt), she's also a lot like Nancy. so i guess she's like. a fusion of them

at some point Cindy and Alice have a heart to heart, where Alice admits that she wishes she could do what Cindy did so that it would get her out of shadyside, but that she's convinced that the town is cursed (by vecna rather than Satan, but yeah) and so gave up on that. Cindy admits that she's had crippling self doubt all the while and isn't convinced she'll ever be able to leave either

meanwhile, in California, deena has to be physically held back from going after sam's bullies; when Sam slams a roller blade into Main Bully's face, deena walks out holding sam's hand, and she might as well be holding a sign that says "i love my girlfriend and am proud of her"

"violence is bad, deena." "shut the fuck up - you did great, Sam"

ziggy and max are A LOT alike (beyond just being played by sadie sink), so ziggy is vecna's target, and Cindy is going feral trying to find ways to keep both her and Alice safe

(cue a lot of guilt from Cindy because how did she not notice, how did she not realize just how bad it had gotten for her sister)

i don't think i would put nick goode into the story, exactly, but i would probably say "hey when you're picturing one, picture the guy who played adult Nick/Solomon goode". man does a good job being a creep

hard to say who the other adults would be in this story, bc fear street was (purposefully) bereft of actual adults. sorry jopper. it kinda plays into the theme of adults not really being reliable in actual tough situations, so I'm not too upset about it, though

ngl I'm leaning towards Ruby Lane being 8? maybe nurse lane can be the only adult, trying to figure out what happened to her daughter

uhhhh... hmm. Tommy was Cindy's bf for a while, and he's genuinely a good dude, unwittingly gets involved in s2, does his best to help out. unfortunately, i think he also ends up being the mind flayer's avatar in s3 (I'm putting poor Cindy through the ringer I'm so sorry)

this would require A LOT of character development that i would have to build myself but I'm kinda leaning towards arnie being Cindy's Robin? they both end up working at scoops, and bc Cindy knows he's dating Alice (Alice and Arnie do genuinely like each other and like dating, but it's more of a bi4bi arrangement), but Arnie is generally pretty chill around her and Cindy eventually relaxes. they bond during the Russians stuff and arnie comes out as bi, and Cindy is like "cool"

we've got Josh and Simon to round out the Party

okay I'll admit it, i have no fucking clue who any of the byers are in this scenario. genuinely zero idea. aaaand with that, that's all i got

(this is 90% because Cindy/Alice makes me sad and i want them to be happy; no Alice does NOT die, she gets badly hurt but she lives)

#amaya talks #stranger things #fear street #cindy x alice #deena x sam #look it's just been in my head and i needed it out

[aion-rsa]

Streaming on Plex: Best Horror Movies and TV Shows You Can Watch for FREE in October

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This article is sponsored by Plex. You can download the Free Plex App now by clicking here!

When October hits, the folks at Den of Geek almost exclusively consume horror content. Any spooky story that has ghosts, ghouls, goblins, or any chill-inducing monster that doesn’t start with a G is fine with us. Whether it’s a campy B-movie or “prestige horror,” we embrace all horror subgenres and relax with old favorites and new cult classics in the making alike. Now that Spooky Season is in full force, we are grateful that Plex TV is here so we can stream all of the creepy content that our black hearts’ desire for free!

Plex is a globally available one-stop-shop streaming media service offering thousands of free movies and TV shows and hundreds of free-to-stream live TV channels, from the biggest names in entertainment, including Metro Goldwyn Mayer (MGM), Warner Bros. Domestic Television Distribution, Lionsgate, Legendary, AMC, A+E, Crackle, and Reuters. Plex is the only streaming service that lets users manage their personal media alongside a continuously growing library of free third-party entertainment spanning all genres, interests, and mediums including podcasts, music, and more. With a highly customizable interface and smart recommendations based on the media you enjoy, Plex brings its users the best media experience on the planet from any device, anywhere.

Plex releases brand new and beloved titles to its platform monthly and we’ll be here to help you identify the cream of the crop. This month, we’re keeping things strictly scary, but view Plex TV now for the best free entertainment streaming, regardless of genre, and check back each month for Den of Geek Critics’ picks!

DEN OF GEEK CRITICS’ PICKS

The Ninth Gate

Though director Roman Polanski is a horrific figure himself, this 1999 neo-noir horror film, The Ninth Gate is superb. Thirty years after Rosemary’s Baby, Polanski conjured the devil once again and injected it with some of the pulp from his noir classic Chinatown in a movie that finds Johnny Depp as a man in Satanic Detective mode. Depp is a classic book authenticator hired to authenticate De Umbrarum Regis Novum Portis (The Nine Doors To the Kingdom of Shadows), a book believed by cultists capable of raising Satan to Earth. 

The Ninth Gate doesn’t provide cheap thrills; it tightens the suspense like a noose. Polanski subtly creates an uneasy atmosphere using minimal effects. The director knows where evil lives and lets the settings and sound make the invitations with subliminal references to recognizable horror and cinematic danger, using framing and music similarly to Stanley Kubrick. The Ninth Gate packages its scares with classy style that the characters deliver with sexily provocative intelligence. Dean Corso may be Johnny Depp’s greatest spiritual transformation, from odious to ultimate evil and the audience cheers on his descent, happy to ride with him straight to hell.

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari

Perhaps the world’s first horror film and a go-to example of early German Expressionist filmmaking, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari has been unsettling audiences for over a century. 

The film’s main story centers on two young friends, Francis and Alan (Friedrich Feher and Hans Heinrich von Twardowski), who, while jockeying for the affections of Jane (Lil Dagover), visit a local traveling carnival. There they take in the act of the mysterious, top-hatted and wild-haired Dr. Caligari (Werner Krauss). As they watch, Caligari awakens his somnambulist subject, Cesare (the great Conrad Veidt), who under hypnosis answers questions from the audience. When Alan jokingly asks when he will die, Cesare responds “Before dawn.” We’ll let you guess the rest.

The film isn’t remembered much for its story, but for its arresting visual style, featuring painted backdrops that make the entire production feel like a fever dream. The painted townscape is filled with curved and pointed buildings teetering at dangerous angles, almost as if they were alive and shrieking. Roads twist and spiral to nowhere. The perspectives are deliberately mismatched and inconsistent, with the props and sets sometimes being too large for the characters, and others too small. The result is a transgressive, deeply influential film that has been unsettling audiences for over 100 years.

The Exorcist III

Based on his 1983 novel Legion, writer-director William Peter Blatty’s Exorcist III arrived 17 years after William Friedkin’s The Exorcist. Despite the still-looming pop culture presence of the original, The Exorcist III is sneakily the most interesting film in the series. Less a horror movie than a psychological thriller with supernatural and spiritual overtones, The Exorcist III takes place 17 years after the events of the first film, and with no reference whatsoever made to the events in the second. It finds Lt. Kinderman confronted with the apparent reappearance of two figures from his past who had supposedly died. The first is father Damien Karras (Jason Miller), who had died after bouncing down an endless flight of steps while performing an exorcism in the original movie, and the Gemini Killer, a serial killer loosely based on the Zodiac Killer that had been executed 17 years prior. However, there’s been a new string of murders around town carrying all the hallmarks of the Gemini.

While the studio famously mangled Blatty’s original cut of the film, there’s still a lot to like here, including a terrifying performance from Brad Dourif. Blatty is fantastic at creating dread-inducing atmosphere and has a keen attention to character and detail. It may not be as exciting as the original, but it’s a smart-slow burn film worthy of the Exorcist mantle.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The Devil’s Rejects

An homage to sleazy ‘70s C-movies, Rob Zombie’s sequel to House of 1,000 Corpses will leave you in the need of a shower, but it’s delightfully demented and the musician turned filmmaker’s finest effort. The shock-fest finds the Firefly clan, Otis (Bill Moseley), Baby (Sheri Moon Zombie) and Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig) – on the run from die-hard determined sheriff Wydell (William Forsythe). What unfolds is a nasty thrill ride full of twists, turns, and more gore than most audiences are comfortable with. How Zombie still manages to make such repulsive content entertaining, how he manages to get you to almost root for the despicable Firefly clan, is inexplicable magic trick, but indebted to Zombie’s use of black humor and deep knowledge of genre conventions that he sometimes subverts, but often gleefully leans into.

Train to Busan

The overused and increasingly predictable zombie genre got a shot in the arm with Train to Busan, a South Korean film from director Yeon Sang-ho about a young father desperately attempting to get his little daughter to her mother via train as a zombie pandemic breaks out all around them. Even if it veered close to outright sentimentality at times, Train to Busan differed from most of the films and TV shows we’ve seen in this genre due to its genuine bond of love between its main characters, and the flickers of empathy and humanity found therein. 

And on a technical level, Yeon crafted his film with a kinetic energy that had been missing from the genre as of late. Train to Busan was not just a monster hit in its native land but amassed an international following as well, along with critical acclaim across the board. It’s easy to see why given the film’s well-drawn characters, subtle social commentary (some on the train feel they are more worthy of survival than others) and frightening action sequences that add up to a thrilling and emotionally powerful ride.

More Horror Films Available to Stream FREE on Plex TV

The Descent  

Train To Busan  

The Ninth Gate  

Rec  

Coherence  

Night Of The Living Dead  

The Host 

Hannibal Rising  

The Devil’s Rejects  

Nosferatu  

Monsters  

I Spit On Your Grave  

Eden Lake  

Wolf Creek  

Day Of The Dead  

The Collector  

The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari  

Red Lights  

The Wailing  

Grave Encounters  

Colonia  

Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse  

Diary Of The Dead  

Black Death  

Alone In The Dark  

The Descent: Part 2  

Maggie  

Teeth  

Ginger Snaps  

After.Life  

John Dies At The End  

Black Christmas  

The Last House On The Left  

Nosferatu the Vampire  

Splinter  

The Void  

Deep Red  

P2  

Phantasm  

The Changeling 

Feast  

Hatchet 

The Prophecy  

Pulse  

Fido  

Open Grave  

Cell  

The Blob  

The Exorcist III  

Vanishing On 7th Street 

House On Haunted Hill  

Penomena  

Eye See You  

Cooties  

The Werewolf 

Pumpkinhead 4: Blood Feud 

Messengers 2: The Scarecrow

Sugar and Fright Collection

Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies 

All Cheerleaders Die  

Another Evil  

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes  

Bad Milo 

Better Watch Out  

Bitter Feast  

Cooties  

Corporate Animals  

Crimewave  

Dead Snot 2: Red vs. Dead  

Deathgasm  

Deep Murder 

Drive Thru 

Excision  

Fear, Inc.  

Feast 

Fido  

Ghost Killers vs. Bloody Mary 

Hansel & Gretel Get Baked  

Hatchet  

Hell Baby 

Hellboy Animated: Blood & Iron 

Hellboy Animated: Sword of Storms  

Hobo with a Shotgun  

John Dies at the End 

The Last Lovecraft: Relic of Cthulhu 

Lesbian Vampire Killers  

The Love Witch  

Night of Something Strange  

Nina Forever  

Office Uprising  

Shrooms  

Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror 

Stan Helsing  

Stitches  

Suburban Gothic  

Survival of the Dead  

Teeth  

Turbo Kid  

WolfCop 

Yoga Hosers 

The post Streaming on Plex: Best Horror Movies and TV Shows You Can Watch for FREE in October appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

[thenerdintheattic]

DOOM COALITION

The Eleven - 4.5/5 : so having Seven at the beginning of this episode was a nice little treat. I really, really like the Eleven as a villain and as a character, Mark Bonnar is doing an amazing work. Also Liv totally unimpressed with the Time Lords, I stan. Excellent start for this range.  

The Red Lady - 5/5 : Helen Sinclair is done with patriarchy baby! I was litteraly creeped out when I first listened to this episode (I think it was at night in my bed, in the dark. Not the best setting) but it's so good. The atmosphere is perfect, Helen Sinclair couldn't have dreamt of a better introduction, the Red Lady is SCARY. I love it.

The Galileo Trap - 3.5/5 : Galileo is an astronomer and he's a cute little old man, how can I not love him. I love his relationship with the Doctor (the man might be blind but he's not a fool) and with Virginia and the fact that he KNOWS that she's not his daughter but still needs the company (MY HEART!). I found Fortuna yelling "CLEEEEAVER" every two minutes really annoying though and yeah, I couldn't really be bothered with this plot

The Satanic Mill - 2.5/5 : So the Eleven wants to destroy the Earth (and the solar system) to get back at the Doctor. What else is new? The lack of originality really doesn't work for me so yeah... easily forgotten (although Helen and Liv kick asses so that's something I suppose)

Beachhead - 3/5: We're taking a break from the main plot for five minutes and that's quite welcome (for me and the Doctor). I liked the atmosphere, which reminded me of the third Doctor's era (Three who already came to Stegmoore, shame that I don't remember this episode). Eight has no problem causing the death of someone, not sure how I feel about that

Scenes from her Life - 4.5/5 : It's weird because every time I listen to this episode I keep getting interrupted. Anyhoo, I really like it and that twist! And of course Helen will relate to Caleera, of course she'll want to help. The parallel, the connexion, between them is interesting and I love Helen's characterisation.

The Gift - 4/5 : Eight is obsessed with getting a haircut qiqfhbfhw I love this idiot so much. I liked the idea of the gift and how it's linked to "real events" (the San Fransisco earthquake). I'm not really convinced with the Sonomancer's power though. And that ending!

The Sonomancer - 3.5/5 : Helen is a lesbian and she has a huge crush on River. So I liked River's interactions with Liv and Helen (especially kicking the Eleven's butt) but yeah, still I'm no sure about how I feel about the Sonomancer

Absent Friends - 6/5 : I could write an essay about how much I love this episode. It's very simple : weird calls from the dead, and it's not even a big threat keen on destroying the universe or something (well kinda but whatever) but the FEELS! There is a moment that will always make me cry, even more now - it's the call Liv gets from her dad and how she does what the Doctor tells her, how she is a good girl and doesn't disrupt the web of time and how she snaps at Eight after that because God does he deserve it! He had no right to to ask her to do that, to pick up that phone, knowing there might have been even a slight chance that it could be her dead dad and he does it anyway because he doesn't want to expose himself. And he also had no right to tell Helen off for going to see her brother because of course she does! Who wouldn't? And of course she makes a mess of it because he didn't take the time to explain to her what would happen. And it just gets me every time. How Liv and Helen take on in this episode, how travelling with the Doctor can be painful and hard, and how the Doctor is so different because he's been on his own for so long. It just breaks my heart for the three of them. And that call at the end???? I am very frustrated but also happy that the identity of the caller is left for the viewer to decide (LISTEN TO ME IT'S LUCIE BLEEDIN' MILLER)

The Eighth Piece - 4.5/5 : I love this treasure hunt thing, with Doctor and companions scattered across time. I'm having huge feelings for Brother Octavian

The Doomsday Chronometer - 4.5/5 : Yeah that was cool : Eight finally meets River (well Sister Cantica), the Doomsday Chronometre is done, THE EIGHT, Helen is more in love with River than ever. Also the Solvers are quite cool. And that ending : Eight ditches Helen and Liv to go fight the Coalition with River aka Melody Malone aka Sister Cantica; the Eight regenerates and Liv and Helen are stuck with the Nine, thinking he's the Doctor

The Crucible of Souls - 3/5 : To prevent Gallifrey from being destroyed, let's destroy the rest of the universe. I know Time Lords are huge drama queens but that's really over the top, Padrac.

Ship in a Bottle - 5/5 : I love the introspection into the team TARDIS's relationship and especially how Eight can be a bastard with his companions, which had already been addressed in Absent Friends. I love that Liv stands to him and takes him down a peg or two, how she stands up for Helen, because Liv has seen enough crap from the Time Lords, the Daleks and the humans to not be impressed. I love that Helen remains optimistic while Eight quickly loses his marbles and gives in to desperation like the big drama queen he is. Eight/Liv/Helen is one of my favourite team TARDIS, I love their relationship, the respect and the love they have for one another while they still remain honest to each other, and the found family vibe that breathes through all their interactions.

Songs of Love - 2/5 : This might be an unpopular opinion but I don't like this episode. I find it difficult to follow, too many Time Lords and I really don't like the Sonomancer and Padrac's "relationship"

The Side of the Angels - 3/5 : The Weeping Angels don't have the same impact on audio format, that's a bit of a shame. The Time Lords are being bastards again, nothing is new and the Monk is back.

Stop the Clock - 4/5 : This episode ties things up and concludes this range rather nicely. The Eleven regains a bit of his threatening aura, the parallel between Helen and Caleera ends : Helen deserves redemption after what happened to her family, Caleera doesn't. Padrac got what he deserved (and I liked the explanation for the Red Lady).

Overall opinion : A much better range than Dark Eyes with more consistency. I'm a bit tired with the Time Lord "let's destroy the universe" gig (they might as well be Daleks at this point), but they did give us interesting villains with the Eleven and the Sonomancer. I absolutely ADORE the new team TARDIS, as much as I loved Molly, Eight, her and Liv never really felt right, never really clicked. Family is very important for Liv and Helen which gives very interesting interactions between the three of them. Liv and Helen are also fascinating, clever, well-written women who both have very unique interactions with the Doctor. I also loved River, especially her relationship with Helen, and yeah, it was nice to link Eight a bit more to the new series

#doctor who #doom coalition #eight #eighth doctor #liv chenka #helen sinclair #the eleven #the sonomancer #the clocksmith #the monk #the nine #the eight #big finish

[weaselbeaselpants]

All you need to know about my sucky rewrite

Since the actual show’s getting greenlit here’s my sooperoriginal ideas of my reboot/rewrite/reimagine thing called “Happy hotELL”

The cast of “Happy hoteLL” are renamed versions of the Hazbin cast:

Charly, Vee (she’s nick-named “Vaggy” by Engel) Engel, Niftie, Hux, Alastair, Lord Satan and Lilian, Flim-Flam and JibJab, Karen Killjoy, Sir Pantsless.

The main villains would be human!archangels based on Estus Pirkle and Kirk Cameron.

The main demons under Charly all embody a deadly sin in how they ended up in hell: Engel = Wrath (hated himself and other people), Niftie = Envy (tormented people at school in order to impress a boy), Hux = Lust (stalked/objectified various women in his life), Vee = Pride (too proud to admit she made bad choices), and Alastar = Gluttony (for reasons already discussed here).

Setting

The “afterworld”, the setting our characters inhabit, is separated into three sections: HEAVEN which is where the Archangels rule and were “good” souls go; HELL, which is the main setting of the show and where the archangels swoop down to purge of all the “bad” souls that end up there; and LIMBO, a primordial pocket-dimension with no direct portal to through the other two worlds. Limbo turns out to be the place the archangels, the true rulers of Heaven, are hiding. The mortal or ‘human’ world is between Heaven and Hell and is accessed by similar means to how it is in Helluva Boss. 

Angels and demons which were never human are referred to as ARCHANGELS/OVERLORDS and CHERUBS/IMPS. Ascended/damned souls are those of people who’ve ended up in either Heaven or Hell.

Heaven and Hell both have class systems. Imps and Overlords and Cherubs and Archangels are SUPPOSED to rule over all the human souls in their care. But Heaven’s archangels have gone missing - abandoned their posts for the peaceful content of limbo - leaving human angels to rise up and over time dictate how Heaven is to be run and who gets redeemed....this is as bad as you think it is, as the human!archangels care only for their “purity” over everyone else and keep people who should be allowed into heaven out just for not being to their standards - like Vee. The Overlords of Hell are unaware of this and have been unknowingly doing the human!angels’ business for hundreds of years. 

>The implication that this system for disposing of evil souls has failed is made well before the second season twist because damned human souls (Alastair) have become overlords and exist in Hell without being purged as an open secret, even to Charly’s parents. The only reason the true Overlords oppose any of the human!Overlords’ reign is because it disrupts their order in Hell, not out of any sense of justice.

There is NO monotheistic deity in this world; angels and demons used to live in “pantheons”, aka tribes, across the earth where they created life and the ecosystems there as well - thusly, they became gods to the people of these regions too. Satan and Lilian are from what would come to be the Abrahamic angels. In time, other mythologies’ underworld counterparts - and even some benevolent gods - would have the power diminish on earth and they’d have to live in Hell if they didn’t want to be wiped out by the crusades the Archangel’s influence over humans. Understandably, a lot of non-Abrahamic angels and demons are NOT fond of this appropriation/erasure of their culture and want their own realm’s back, even trying to run their own redemption operation/afterlife control in secret or in limbo. (Imagine Charly meeting a Vivziepoped versions of Hades and Persephone or Oxhead and Horseface telling her to fuck off and her just being like “I KNEW someone had the same idea! I JUST KNEW IT! <3<3<3″)

ALL mortal souls are supposed to be sent to hell but a great many of them are KEPT from heaven because of the human!archangels. 

A demon is redeemed by either setting right a wrong they did in life or sacrificing their happiness for another. This is what happens to Vee at the end of the first season, which leaves Charly without a manager through season 2.

Satan’s backstory is a parody of Paradise Lost as he was the most beautiful angel in his pantheon before the others kicked him out. In revenge he took Lilian, their “first woman”, for his wife and rallied up an army which apparently ended with one mass-extinction event on earth.

There’s a section of Hell where demons who represent different vices/drugs live. It’s referred as “Viceland” and is treated like a kitty theme park.

Demons (overlord, imp, or damned-souls) can all be summoned by mortals who know their way with unholy magic. They’re summoned at really inconvenient times and for really worthless deeds and this would be a great source of comedy for the show and an excuse to get characters to the mortal realm.

Story

The first episode/pilot/episodes/minimovie/whatever would be basically the same as the pilot but with a few tweaks:

It shows a person dying, going to Hell, becoming a demon, and being purged (which the audience not quite knowing what just happened to him) with Engel happily takes the dead demon’s things once the dust clears. Then Charly and Vee’s limo pulls up to him and ask him if he’s interested in a “new gig”. Que title and credits.

Charly initially opens the hotel with the promise that it will be a place for vice and booze but lets it slip that it’s a front for rehabilitation. Once Engel’s story is picked up on by the network, Vee and Charly’s assistants (Flimflam and JibJab) attack Karen and destroy the news station.

It’s Engel - not Vee - who recognizes Alastair as the threat that he is - later it’s revealed that Engel was present during Alastair’s initial takeover and that his radio frequencies damaged Engel’s eye. Vee doesn’t believe him until she sees Alastair’s absorbtion powers, which is when she allows him to stay employed by the hotel to help take Alastair down.

Alastair stresses the need for Charly to keep him working with her a secret, ESPECIALLY from her parents. He’s technically a criminal in hell and he convinces Charly that her parents will be impressed with her bad deed once the jig is up.

The rest of Season 1 would probably be Alastair setting up the hotel while the main cast of demons become more aquainted with each other and the different levels of Hell.The end of season 1 would feature Alastair double-crossing Charly and consuming the hotel in his likeness while it’s hosting a demon’s ball - in the hopes of getting enough souls to reignite his takeover. Vee, Engel, and Charly manage to escape the hotel and Charly overpowers and defeats Al by destroying his microphone - thus releasing all the souls he’s trapped, and then destroys his physical form.

Season 2 would start with a face reveal of Satan, Charly’s father, as he forces her to eat Alastair’s heart which will put him under her control. She does, but Alastair’s conscience manifests inside Charly’s head and mocks her ideas throughout the season. Also in the opening Vee would become and angel and ascends for Heaven, leaving Charly to manage the now very popular hotel alone until Engel rises up to become her #2.

Season 2 would be more explorative, with more stuff featuring the demon’s lives as humans, Charly’s role in Hell, and even Vee in Heaven. We’d learn more about the way Hell, Heaven and Limbo work as Charly manages to redeem a couple more damned souls. At the end of the season, the demons discover a dead cherub with a message from Vee begging Charly for help. Charly first attempts to pass through the hidden realm of Limbo to get to Heaven, but Hux runs off with their means to get there, so instead she vomits up Alastair, the only other demon who knows how to get to heaven, and he assists them on the condition that he be granted amnesty once they return to Hell. In the end, Charly and co. discover Heaven’s corrupted state and realize the Archangels are missing, Vee looses her wings but ascends into a fallenangel, and they all escape the bloodthirsty angels due to Lilian’s interference.

The Overlords of Hell prepare for a new war with Heaven and Charly’s parents send her to the mortal realm for her protection. In the mortal realm, Charly and the demons disguise themselves and their base of operation as a bed and breakfast. Charly has trouble reeling in the overexcited demons who are out of place in this new time while also keeping Alastair, who has stashed away with her, from trapping souls. 

Halfway through season 3 Engel and the other motel staff find out Alastair’s human identity, which he was desperate to hide, and bring his now elderly human daughter to him. This causes Alastair to freak out and consume the bed and breakfast. Once Charly brings him to, his physical takes on that of a baby deer but his psyche and abilities are completely nulled.

While this is going on Vee, Hux, and Charly’s parents have their own adventures in Limbo where they meet the Archangels who have no idea how corrupt Heaven has gotten in their absence. It’s only through Hux and Vee that the main group is finally all reuninted in Hell where the finale takes place :

Engel and Niftie ascend into fallenangels and alongside Vee lead a brigade against the angels who now want to wipe out all the demons; Charly guilt trips her parents and the Archangels into taking action and combining their power to dismantle the angel’s weapons; Alastair comes back and personally takes out the main human!archangel and himself by throwing them into the center of Hell; big stupid happy lesbian ending fartjoke.

end

Characters

Charly’s relationship dynamic to her parents is flipped: her father, Satan (he doesn’t like being called Lucifer) LOVES her. He shares a lot of her personality and at worst doesn’t take Charly seriously or cares about her ambitions. Lilian, Charly’s mother resents her daughter. Lilian was hoping her daughter would bring forth the apocalypse but Charly doesn’t want to do that. It’s implied Charly’s optimism and need to help people comes from her father’s days as an Archangel, and her mother especially hates the angels for casting her out, which leads to her resenting Charly.

This doesn’t stop Satan from being genuinely impressed with his daughter’s achievements and for Lilian to be be the panicked-parent when she learns that Charly has broken into Heaven at the end of season 2. 

The Royal Family is not actively malicious. They’re more like privileged jailers on the top of the Hell-foodchain. The most evil things about them are their apathy towards human atrocities (and their subjects pain, of course), their occasional bouts of sadism, and their genuine glee at the thought of destruction - namely the apocalypse, which Satan and Lilian speak fondly about like a married couple would their retirement plans.

After Charly shows her true form while taking out Alastair, the other Overlords and Imps (i.g. Karen and 666 News) start heaping praise on her out of fear that she’ll retaliate for all the mockery they made of her when she unveiled her plan. Charly is uncomfortable with this.

Engel is BAD at his pornstar/sexworker career. He tries to sell himself as a sass-master incubus but can’t achieve this status in the demon hierarchy because of his short fuse and violent nature.

Engel thinks he’s in hell because he’s gay and likes crossdressing. In reality it’s because he was a member of a crime family and a murderous gangster, named Anatole Slinkoff. The first people he killed were his father and brother as he was assisting a young-up-and-coming rival who would eventually become his boss.

Speaking of that boss, Anatole fell in love with him. On Anatole’s birthday he and the boss got drunk and he ended up confessing his feelings. The boss invited a sobered up Anatole back to his flat the following week and seemed to return his affections with a kiss...which was then followed by a fatal stabbing. Engel never got over the heartbreak/betrayal.

Engel starts off as a toxic enabling jackass who lives in denial and uses sex and drugs to cope with how unhappy he is with himself. In season 2 he becomes Charly’s #2 and builds a strong friendship with her. Also in season 2 Engel meets his father, brother, and mother who are also in hell for their crimes. His father and bro amazingly forgive him for killing them while Engel’s mother - a god-fearing woman who would beat Engel if she found him wears makeup or playing with dolls as a child - asks him for forgiveness, saying she’s the reason her family and he specifically ended up where he did. After Engel patches things up with them he tries to locate the souls of the people he killed and in the process finds out his old boss went to Heaven. At first Engel sets out to kill his boss and get revenge, but upon actually finding him living in fear in Limbo, he can’t bring himself to do so and instead chooses to just not forgive him.

Engel ascends/becomes a fallenangel in the final season when he meets an imp with a similar taste of humor and style. Rather than rush into a relationship as he’s done with every person he’s got with since he ended up in hell, Engel tells his new lover he wants to wait until he’s stable for a relationship, which triggers his transformation.

Molly doesn’t exist. Molly is instead the name of Engel’s feminine alterego and later the name Engel takes up as a fallenangel.

Vee, like Engel, also thinks she’s in hell for all the wrong reasons: She ran away from her controlling parents, thinking she could live on her own just fine. She could not. Instead she wound up turning to a life of crime and prostitution to support herself after a plethora of bad decisions and heartbreaks. When her parents sent word out all over the country, begging her to come back and that they were wrong, but she still refused. In the end one of her clients ended up strangling her. Her soul SHOULD have been one that went to Heaven but was barred off by the human!archangels for being a “thug”. Vee tried to get herself purged after her first few months in Hell, convinced that she deserved it, but Charly saved her and the blast instead only took out one of her eyes. Vee and her story are Charly’s main inspiration to open up the hotel.

Vee and Charly obviously have a romantic relationship from the start but Vee doesn’t see their love as anything serious. When Vee becomes an angel at the end of season 1/beginning of season 2, she rather cruelly leaves Charly without a second thought and discards their relationship is ‘passing sin’. It isn’t until she spends more time in Heaven, seeing the other angels’ being restricted (including her parents, who admit to actually being miserable in Heaven) and finding her rejection notice from the human!archangels that Vee realizes she does love Charly and that her redemption was always HER doing, not someone else’s.

Vee makes the unwise decision to confront the Archangels (whom she doesn’t know are actually human souls) about this treatment. They respond by locking Vee away and performing a “purification” on her which is like electroshock therapy. This sedates Vee into a mindless drone, much to the horror of the cherubs, angels, and eventually Charly and the gang.

Vee, in her purified state, doesn’t want to leave Heaven and go back to Hell. Charly, realizing the woman she loves is gone, tearfully tells her she won’t ask Vee to be anything she doesn’t want to be and that she loves her. This confession breaks through to the real Vee. Their happy reunion is cut short however by the human!archangels who rip off Vee’s wings, causing her and Charly to fall. It’s here though that Vee again ascends, this time into a fallenangel, and grows her own pair of wings and an angels’ weapon which she uses to kill Perkins, the head archangel and save the rest of the cast.

Throughout season 3, Vee and Charly’s parents turn the Happy Hotel into a refuge for human souls and imps while the angels and demons prepare for new spiritual warfare. Vee also tracks down Hux and multiple other “lost souls” in Limbo in her search for the Archangels.

Vee commands Hell’s army alongside Molly and Niftie in the show’s final climax and she gets a happy ending running a shanty motel in Limbo alongside Charly.

In life, Niftie was a teenager who tried to grow up too fast and gave up her hobbies and interests to impress her childhood friend (whom she was in love with). By following the lead of a more popular classmate, Niftie became a bully who ruled her school’s social status. Then she learned that her “teacher” had been in love with the same guy and he was returning her feelings - which drove Niftie into a rage and she tried killing the both of them on their senior prom night. She tried running them over with her car, putting the girl in the hospital, paralyzing the boy forever, and ruining her reputation at school (for saying she couldn’t drive when she did; not for the attempted murder). The boy she loved hated her, and the rest of the school bullied her until she gave in and took her own life in the bathroom.

The other demons are especially sympathetic towards Nifty. Charly finds it horrible that she end up in hell at such a young age. Hux is very protective of her. However, Niftie is more self-aware than she appears; she acts more childish than she actually is because she wishes she was still a kid, but does NOT like being treated like a literal child - especially by Charly and Engel. She only warms up to Charly when Hux abandons her and she’s forced to be an authority figure under Engel while the group stages things out in the mortal realm.

In the mortal realm, Niftie ends up coming across her old hishschool friend, now an old woman in a wheelchair, who believes it’s her fault everything ended the way it did. Niftie tells the lady not to feel guilty and instead apologizes to her - which ignites Niftie’s ascension into a fallenangel.

Hux was a moderately successful show magician. Heartbroken by being unable to woo a woman he loved with his success, he turned to drinking and took up relationships with women who worked under him  - all of these relationships were toxic and Hux would break their hearts and ruin their lives. When Hux arrived in Hell it was during a purge. He found his original sweetheart there but she, not him, was purged, cementing Hux’s views of redemption and justice...that there is NONE.

Hux is mostly apathetic and disbelieves along with everyone else in Charly’s plan UNTIL he finds out that one of the women he hurt escaped into Limbo. When the main cast tried to use their one passage to Limbo to get to Heaven in season 2, Hux takes the pass for himself.

In Season 3, Vee finds Hux enjoying his time in Limbo and calls him out for his selfishness. Hux introduces her to all the women he wronged, who DON’T forgive him, and also his new business in Limbo selling drinks that make people recall their past lives.

Together with Vee, Hux thinks up a plan to have the overcrowded souls of Hell and Heaven wait out the war in Limbo while simultaneously kicking out the Archangels so that they won’t notice the influx of souls in their realm.

Sir Pantsless is the show’s biggest buttmonkey and is constantly abused. He’s a tiny demon trying to ride off other Overlord’s success and who’s design is a wimpy, trying-to-hard version of Charly’s dad. In life, Sir Pantsless was a Victorian-era businessman who lived a long, happy life of abusing child-workers in factories and getting away with all his evil deeds. Charly’s dad even admits to keeping him out of the purge purposefully because he finds Pantsless’ pain amusing.

Themes and other stuff worth noting

If there’s a lesson I guess I’d try to push with the ending of this rewrite it would be, ironically, that neither Heaven nor Hell hold your true morality. It’s on you for making mistakes; it’s up to you to overcome them - you literally have to go through hell - to fix them! It also shouldn’t be up to Heaven and Hell how punishment/enlightenment works or why it’s worth anything.

This is NOT supposed to be an antireligion/antiChristian story. Not at ALL. It’s anti absolutism and anti religiousSUPREMACY story.  I know then that people will probably not want me basing this version of Heaven off Evangelicals, but like Viv, that’s the religion that closest for me to criticize. If I were Jewish or Hindu or Muslim I would so be about tearing their hypocrisies down....but I’m not. I know all about the injustices in those religions but I’m not comfortable tearing them a new one as a white Christian. My mother’s fam are recovering Christian Science-folk. Also, have you watched anything about Left Behind? It’s genuinely an eye opening experience when it comes to Americanized Christianity and even the lore of Hell and Demons in regards to the book of revelations.

Lotsa references to The Divine Comedy and Paradise Lost with the implication that these works are fan fiction to the demons of actual events with Dante never even making it out of Hell because he was too prideful. (Charly’s father has two faces in his wings/comb which are constantly chewing parts of Dante like chewing gum).

I know Viv says she’s hoping to get Weird Al to voice Lucifer. Personally I think a better unlikely but TOTALLY FITTING devil would be mah man Martyn Jacques of The Tiger Lillies. They even have a circus motif!

Engel probably claims his name is supposed to be misspelled on purpose. In reality, it’s cause he was drunk when submitting his resume to be an incubus and made a typo for his new name.

Vee’s human name is Marianna Posada. GET IIIIIT.

Alastair’s human name is Edward Hastings. Edward being the name of the American Murder Song which inspired my Alastair, while Hastings is the last name of the man who helped doomed the Donner Party.

#hazbin hotel rewritten #redesign #rewrite #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vaggie #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel alastor

[floralkittygambler]

Reposting for reasons

Response to Honest’s post here: Doing this to spread this awareness more as I know theres a bit of a rift in the critical community - plus I really fucking go on. Im PISSED and I do apologise however it NEEDS urgent addressing. I know people will hate me for it but Im used to hate and honestly? Hating rather than helping to solve the issue only furthers my fucking point here. So yeah this is so more people are aware (no offense to any of those involved in said rift either, but this is an important message. Thank you for understanding and if I can do anything to make all sides comfortable, then please message me and I’ll do my upmost.) “ More awareness of this is needed. Even if it’s your favourite, you can’t justify their shit but rally against another’s shit. Have people tell you you’re experiences arent real or invalid because, like Husk, people have - in real life - shipped you with someone you are far from comfortable with but you still treat them like a person. Because you have basic respect. And people force you to accept harassment, touching, stalking, advances for THEIR satisfaction. People use you for their fantasies. But you’re just a ‘tsundere’ for it. Or you have addiction issues but people think being with another addict will ‘save’ you because you’re apparently too incompetent to save yourself. Love isnt some magic fuckin cure so stop romanticising it as a fuckin saviour. It’s gross and fuckin creepy. Get stalked and have someone NEVER accept your no just because you show youre still decent enough to not treat them shitty or any different from anyone else. Try having someone way older or way younger (both in morally fucked up ways) advance on you and people encourage that. People you’re supposed to feel safe around.

People touch you when you pull away or show discomfort. Follow you home. Have pictures of you and wont accept you dont like them like that and it’s not ‘playing hard to get’ or ‘the thrill of the chase’. Fuck. OFF. In fact, Im not only disappointed in the fandom. Im disappointed in the entire team who some should know better from their OWN personal experiences - or at least the bare minimal of being a fucking adult. Im disappointed in especially females (sorry idk whether girl or woman is more appropriate here-) who statistically are more likely to have experienced something similar at some point in their lives think this is a cute gay moment. No. Angel is made out as a fucking predator - Im not saying he is, Im saying that his persistence is very fucking unwelcome like one. People like Husk dont need that fucking invasiveness. They/We need patience and someone on our level. Angel’s I know are the fuckin polar opposite - and some of them I know are very sexually harassing, including unwanted touching. It’s a shitty way to present gay people. Gays are fuckin people. Some are cunts and some arent. It’s a HUMAN thing. But considering the shit theyve been subjected to, presenting a gay as a victim only to also show them as a perpetrator is insulting! And for those Ive seen argue this about how people like AD wouldnt know how to express their love normally and whatnot? His pig. His best friend. He’s in his fucking 30s. There are literal real life criminals who get molested as kids and then go on to molest kids. Not all who grow up like that turn into nonces. Stop just fucking STOP justifying and romanticising this bullshit! I used to see the good in AD but now he makes me fucking sick. Especially with my verrrrrry fucking real traumas and connections. But fuck me, eh? Because this fictional guy matters so much more. Fuck real victims. And whilst we’re at it, fuck AD too when it suits your fetishes! Sarcasm aside, the fans and the team need to straighten up their abhorrent behaviour. Stolas. Fucking clearly having an affair, knowingly fucking up his daughter’s mental health and bribing a guy into sex who only wants the book and nothing more. He even has a fucking warning button over Stolas- Guys, how do you think any of this is cute? Even the team gross me out- I genuinely see potential and talent and it’s all gone to shit to satisfy horny teens, horny adults, and literally everyone who doesnt for the life of them understand being an adult is more than sex, drugs, violence and swears! I REALLY want to keep enjoying HB/HH but it’s getting harder and harder with such ignorant and bordering lazy creators (note: lazy as in wont do the fucking research or actually listen to real criticism and victims), such despicable fans (yeah, some HDers fuckin mocked that they triggered my ED, yet they had the fucking NERVE to support Angel’s potential ED AND laugh and blame me for me getting treated so badly for actually having the balls to call Angel and the teams hypocrisy. I got told to kill myself, that my problems arent real - oh but Angels apparently is! Which... They *are* but AD isnt real so technically only onlookers will suffer and not a drawing  - and they just excused their toxic behaviours. These people are like “aww poor angie babey!” yet fuckin INSULT sex workers. All this red in Hazbin yet it feels everyone and they mama colour blind. The issues are getting worse and fans are outright becoming EVIL, VILE, Vindictive little bullies - from kids to adults. You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself if you conduct yourself in such a manner. And you need to readjust your attitudes and behaviours because the only fuckers getting hurt are actual fucking victims. Ever been violated and been gaslit so much you STILL fucking question it’s reality? So you drown that shit out yet somehow it’s effects still hit you? Fetishise it. Make it your uwu gae couple goals, you’re no better than people believing Harley and the Joker werent toxic af. If this shit happened to you, most of you would actually SEE where we’re all coming from. Also, stop making gay a fetish - you’re like those creepy old men in the alley heckling lesbians to make out so they can wank off. Gays, no ALL the LGBT+ are fucking people too. So dont give me that bullshit then start turning everything just gay or just straight to mentally wank off to. It’s degrading and dehumanising. And yes, fiction does effect reality. You crush on a fictional character? Mourn one? Support one? Hell, fuckin jerk off to one - that’s affecting reality. Remember how in fiction all blacks were treated as villians? Look how theyre treated IRL. JAWS, great classic unfortunately their was a spike in shark killings over a fucking movie - the shark in the movie wasnt even real for the most part because they dont behave like that! (Also the animatronic was so shit they genuinely had so many issues - I think they even took to naming each one! Some fun trivia there!). Tiger sharks are more nasty than great whites as tiger sharks will hunt and eat a human. Great whites prefer seals and dislike human flesh, they just mistake us for seals. Hell, theres the toothless basking shark - theyre often SWAM WITH by divers for being so friendly. Yet Jaws made people think all sharks are bloodlusting over humans. Slenderman was created for a fucking contest and that influenced a stabbing (NOT Victor’s fault). Watch a horror movie that isnt based on a real life event and tell me that at least ONE has left you peaking over your shoulder. Stella may be a bitch - we dont know for certain - but try getting cheated on. Y’know what? Try growing up in such a broken home like Octavia. Yeah reaaaaaal fucking cute now, huh? Funny how as well y’all petition for male victims to be taken seriously then laugh when fictional males experience this abuse, further adding to stigma. You can be hit on by the hottest mf on the planet but if you arent interested, that should be respected! Also we’ve all been inspired by at least one fictional character so yeah. Yknow, since I was little Ive been fighting for sex worker and homeless rights. But HH/HB treatment of both leave a bitter taste in my mouth. I’ll still fully support sex workers and the homeless, but that’s the fucking effect this show is having. Bearing in mind I wont ever share everything Ive been through - and I shouldnt fucking have to in order to be believed and validated (obvs proof is required in a legal case but that’s a whole other topic). Why should I share MY fucking pain especially when you fuckers have belittled and triggered it more so? We have our rights to our secrets but fuck ME you lot NEED to start acting appropriately and like decent fucking humans. ‘iTs HeLl’ yeah and welcome to Earth- the team and yourselves live HERE. You obide by THESE rules. And as someone with beliefs (and a LOT of ancient fucking texts and studies on this shit) their Hell isnt even a proper Hell! It’s closer to purgatory and even then it’s not. Regardless, it’s a poorly built world with the lore consistently changing per episode and tweet, with many plot holes, and is apparently easy to get into - even via accidentally watching porn according to a stream. If youre gonna parade youre a fucking expert and research into demonology and use real believed figures, at least get THAT right. In fact, Lucifer and Lilith (and Stolas tbf) are ESPECIALLY risky as theyre a lot more complex than most easy access texts will tell you. Likewise, Stolas’s first introduction and main focus is sex. He’s one of the FEW Goetia demons that dont have some involvement in relationship issues at ALL. He’s known for astrology, crystals and herbs but hes also known to aid MONEY troubles (it’s lesser known but it’s true! HB Stolas is an insult to the Prince). Turning Vodou into something evil is vile considering it’s powerful and liberated slaves. Pentagrams are nothing to do with Satan, they’re magic based sigils. Upside down cross is the symbol of a SAINT. It’s just some edgy attempt to trick people into believing they know more than they do. Also you should NEVER dabble and doodle sigils without knowing the meanings or respecting what they behold. Vox and Val, real fuckin cute way to make them look like a stupid fucking highschool drama instead of a fucking SEX TRAFFICKER (note: real pimps often target YOUNG folks too - aka minors - and groom them into sex work. Theres different types of pimp. Viv has shown barely any understanding of ‘the game’ and its a fucking insult to injury. Yes we KNOW what a fucking pimp and prozzie are! We dont need to see it. We need REAL AWARENESS.) and a fucking scheming bastard of a CEO salesman botman. And yet even THEN lets go a step further and make some yandere wuv on boyfweind aboose! Fuck off- Now I love a good anime but these tropes are getting fucking dangerous now. And unrealistic to real love and relationships. Kids nowadays know fuck all on a healthy relationship (neither did the fuckin 50s tbf) and Im seeing more romaticism and glorifying abusive situations. Like the show ‘You’. Ok, there’s a fuckin bloke online who slaughtered innocents and kidnapped yet people commented how cute he is on his IG and that they want to be kidnapped or killed by him next. Dont believe me? Look up Peter Manfredonia Connecticut and the comments people left him and then tell me why shit like whats being presented in HH/HB ISNT fucking concerning - because it is. For a series about redemption, it’s brilliant at the opposite (Quote from the creator herself, Viv has posted that it’s influencing her bad choices. Even as a joke, proof’s in the pudding). And the overall focus on sex in the way Viv does is so immature and really creepy, and this is from an ADULTS perspective. From one adult to another, Im concerned as to why any of them think this is a normal fixation. Then again they’ve hired quite a large amount of dodgy folks and even a child. Most of this shit gets avoided with a basic background check like most companies run. I DO like Hazbin. Or the premise. I love some of the cast and spite the others. In Helluva, I just like a tiny portion of the cast. And I critique it so harshly because Viv DOES need a wakeup slap, grounding to reality, people who arent going to big her up or kiss her arse for once and shape her up to be the best she can be. The actually reach and even surpass her potential. And to reach where you need to be, there’s a lot of harsh lessons youll face. That’s life. Shes chosen one of the most HEARTLESS industries and if she blocks out critique as ‘hate’ then she’s not strong enough and wont last. It’s just another unprepped YanDev again (except I dont believe Viv to be a nonce. Even with her dodgy past and dodgy present, I think her perspective on sex and relationship with sexuality is FAR from healthy BUT I dont believe she’s a pedophile. Ive bled my fair share and so far, I just think her sex perspective isnt healthy or mature for her age. But there’s little to nothing to suggest actual noncery - dont worry about accusations there. But YanDev is totally a dirty predator. Just clearing that up). Viv NEEDS some harshness and stability if she wants to do things right. And it’ll make her fucking cry but if she loves these projects as much as she claims to, then you’ll sacrifice blood, sweat and tears for that shit. Even the strongest points are mediocre at best when properly observed. She CAN do more, but she’ll have to face the harsh music. Viv wont see this, but if she does, I dont care if it upsets her. Why? Because this is that much of an issue - something she’s cultivated - that she needs to take action and not ignore it or be secretive about it. She needs to grow up and get tougher skin. Im not saying this to cause her pain. In fact, I wouldnt waste my fucking limited time if I DIDNT care. Trust me, I have duties to be met at a certain quota every single day. I say this shit only because I give a shit and care. If we met, she’d fucking hate me. But people like me are good for shaping people up to their potential. And we arent always this ‘tough love’ either. But when someone needs that level of harshness to help themselves, we’re not afraid to lose people or cause upset if the results end up being the best for them. If she ever saw this, she needs to re fucking evaluate her message, her story, and those she’s choosing to welcome into her circle. And all Im seeing is one rookie mistake after the other. Her paid patreon discord. Just like the messages Honest has posted on her side of being harassed (not in Vivs fyi), Ive experienced shit and bullying and even stay silent on their for being attacked for a group I fuckin paid to be in and yet I feel isolated. It’s all arsekissing and ‘thank you viv’ (thats an actual channel-) and it feels like a place of borderline worship and people trying to appease her 24/7 whilst kicking others with different opinions down. There’s so many I love but I aint kissin yer fuckin arse. Ask the closest friend I have - we’re fucking raw and wont just side with each other just because. We’ll call each other out if we think they’ve fucked up and then help each other build themselves up better. Because real fuckin people who actually care wont just want to be adored by you. They’ll care enough to point out your bullshit and help you, even if they upset you at the time. They’re real and upfront with you. People like us arent always the easiest to be close to either because we arent afraid of upsetting someone if it’s in their best interest and to help them. Likewise, we dont go out looking for fights either. Most times, we’re fuckin soft bastards- All this shit listed is the fuckin surface level of the real life hell of this fandom. And unsurprisingly, those who experience little to no toxicity have always been higher on that popularity ‘food chain’ - enough admirers and shared opinions that people wanna arse kiss regardless of their OWN feelings as well as neutral perspectives. I’d say you’re the lucky fans, but you’re not. You’re sheltered, and that isnt always the best way to be sadly. As for the fans. If Ive upset you. Well... I dont care. Because many of you have actively sought me out and weaponised my traumas against me. You never cared about my feelings then. Why should I care about yours? Im not doing this out of malice. Im fed up of humans behaving so pathetically yet claiming to be high and mighty. Most of you have been arseholes to those in and out of the community. The victims and non-victims alike. Hardly any of you considered once my real suffering. You put a drawing over a life. Many lives. You had the audacity to tell me Im full of shit. Some even using my real traumas to make a mockery of me and those Im around with a very similar history. Some with traumatic histories that differ from my own. You hardly ever considered the real lives of those effected. So no, Im not sorry for having the fucking balls to this day to still stand up for our rights and give us a voice that’s long been stolen. Im not sorry for being a fucking victim. Im not sorry for saying what desperately NEEDS voicing. And Im not sorry for not conforming to you or any fandom just to belong. We deserve better than to constantly be your fuckin arse monkeys (well... the trope is butt monkey but yknow-) and to be mistreated, misrepresented and harmed by you. You’re no different to the school bullies who give speeches on anti-bullying day. And I hope every single one of you starts looking into yourselves and improving. PS: Depending on the texts you read, Lucifer is said to have been redeemed or to be redeemed. Fun fact to haunt yalls with~ “

#warning long #long post #hazbin critical #very long rant #important #hear victims voices #just sick of how awful people can treat one another and believe this is acceptable #everyone is accountable #toxic fanbase #Toxic shippers #toxic ships #im literally too fucking old for this #forgive the anger but after years and years it gets so cumbersome and tiring #im happy to be the pariah if it means victims actually get heard and helped

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

The Most Pointless Character in Sonichu

Taffy here. This was a post I made for the Kiwi Farms forum on the most pointless character in Sonichu in late October 2017, and I took up the challenge to prove every single character has no point. This was kind of my beta version of what would become Taffy’s Annotated Sonichu, so I thought it would be worth reprinting here (also I’m sorry it’s taking me so long to get more CWCDefense or GitM up, I’ve been really sick for the past two weeks and I’m just now trying to get back in the swing of things).

Chris's comic persona and fursona are pointless because he could have just lived vicariously through Sonichu and not have an in-comic presence.

Sonichu himself became pointless after Chris took over as main character but was already pretty pointless since really Chris could have just written a straight Sonic fanfic with Sonic as the lead in the first place. Besides the occasional electric attack and the complete lack of an original personality he's basically Sonic.

That said, all the characters ripped wholesale from Sonic or Pokémon (Sonic himself, Perfect Chaos, Robotnik, Giovanni) are pretty pointless as they were dropped not long in as Sonichu grew to have its own canon with its own crazy cast of characters.

In addition, any character ripped wholesale from any other franchise (Beavis & Butthead, Bugs Bunny, Meg Griffin) exist solely for "fan service", or rather fan disservice.

Rosechu is extremely pointless, all she does is A) be a token girl, B) prove Sonichu is STRAIGHT, and C) occasionally face rape someone. That said The Incredible Lioness is probably the closest we get to a real character with a point, rivaled only by the Voltorb that kills Simonla. They have simple purposes (to brutally maim and murder) and they do them to a T.

Kel is pointless since Rosechu could have just been Chris's Pokémon to begin with and she didn't need to exist as a middleman.

For that matter, any character best known for being a Moon Pal (Bill the Scientist, Metal Sonichu, Yawning Squirtle) or just as a meme in general (Inos), while being great for laughs, are all pretty irrelevant background characters.

Reldnahc Notsew Niatsirhc exists solely for Chris to physically obliterate his sexual insecurity.

Any Jerkop or Manajerk exists solely for Chris to vent his frustrations with real people who were just doing their jobs. Same goes for Hanna.

Blake is too inconsistent to have a point to existing. He was a pointless villain-of-the-week at first and then he was a pointless supporting character.

Sarah Hammer and Wes Iseli are particularly pointless because Chris' relationship with Sarah was already waning when he wrote Sonichu 2. Since the reincarnation plot point was dropped not long after, you can honestly skip Sonichu 2 entirely and not miss anything.

Mary Lee Walsh, while being awesome, is like the jerkops and manajerks just there essentially as a comic book voodoo doll. Maybe the point of her was to show that Chris can in fact write an interesting and badass female character? We'll never know.

Count Graduon is pretty redundant with Mary, power wise. Other than to vent frustrations with his graduation he's really pointless.

All of the Chaotic Combo are basically team filler filling out some elements that the rest of the team lacks. Specifically:

Wild Sonichu doesn't really have a personality. He's pretty redundant with Sonichu himself, other than, of course, we need a green Sonichu. The one thing that possibly could have made him interesting, the struggles of being a single father, are really rushed over so Chris can get back to the murder spree. His only notable father-daughter bonding experience was drilling a man to death.

Bubbles Rosechu, aside from being the token blue Sonichu/water type, finds one Sonichu ball and then returns to being a moron.

Angelica Rosechu, although I imagine her original purpose was to be a pacifist voice of reason and a token religious character, well, that got thrown out the window pretty quickly. The things that differentiate her from Bubbles besides their powers are few and far between.

Punchy Sonichu is just the token red character and the token Asian. Seriously I don't even know what "fighting type" means. In fact, why not make him fire type? It's the one element missing from the Chaotic Combo (Bubbles is water, Wild is earth, Angelica is air, Magi-Chan is ether/heart/mind, no one's fire!) (Note 26/11/18: I now know Fighting-Type is a type of Pokémon, but nevertheless “Fighting-Type is one of the weirder types. The Pokémon types are elements, supernatural creatures... and martial arts. And yes, the Fighting-Type icons in the series are red while Fire-Type is orange, but from a team balance perspective fire would have made sense).

Magi-Chan, especially after being paired off with Silvana taking away his sole unique trait of not being driven around by his penis, is just Chris's round the clock surveillance system.

Boulder Dropping Whale would have been useful if he actually killed Bubbles's mother but since he failed he's just a great meme.

Why does Flame the Sunbird even exist? He's literally just Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie and his role could have easily been filled by Wild or Bubbles or anyone because that stupid Sunstone doesn't even matter, except it does make everything grow like Norma, whoever she is. Norma is the most relevant character in that whole issue. (Note 26/11/18: Yes, I named Nadine’s mom after this typo.)

Again, Darkbind and Zelina are crimes against nature. (Note from an earlier repost): I am referring to a previous post complaining that Darkbind and Zelina were the combinations of not two but four franchises (Sonic, Pokémon, Zelda & Darkwing Duck) and came off as clunky because of it.)

Crystal the sister is especially irrelevant now that Chris is a girl (why not make her a trans man to mirror Chris' own transition? Oh wait JERKS.), but she was always redundant with Rosechu and Chris himself.

Sailor Megtune - why didn't he just draw Megan herself? We know he's okay drawing her.

Megagi - Already kinda redundant with Megtune and she really had no reason to exist after Chris & Megan had that falling out.

Jamsta and Lolisa speak for themselves at their uselessness. I mean, they are just bit characters anyway. But as someone else mentioned before their radio station is particularly shitty.

Patti-Chan, while her story is cute, just exists as a way for Chris to hold on to his beloved pet and not fully cope with her loss.

Allison Amber, although being one of the better characters, wouldn't need to exist if Chris would just do some work for once. That said if the point of her character was to be an audience surrogate (I mean, until she shoots a man in cold blood) then for once Chris succeeded.

Bionic the Hedgehog as previously mentioned is just there for the sake of having an orange Sonichu, even though he isn't one.

All of the specific characters of Chris's "real life" "sweethearts" (Pandahalo, Blanca, Ivy) as well as their OCs (Jiggliami, Blazebob & Chloe, Layla Flaafy) are pointless because they all just disappear almost immediately after they're introduced after Chris finds out they were a troll or they "died".

Likewise any rendition of one of Chris' real life trolls (Jason Kendrick Howell, Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Alec, Evan, Sean & Mao) are again just there as pen-and-paper voodoo dolls for Chris to take out his frustrations on. The trolls in particular almost work against Chris' point in including them because no matter how much Chris paints himself as the hero his violent murder sprees always end with him looking like the villain. (Justice for the Asperpedia Four!)

Beel is just Satan and a secretary for the 4-cent-garbage building. Pretty pointless.

Zapina is just there as a token "cute" character.

Simonla is just Wild's token sweetheart and then later the lynchpin Chris needed to justify executing his enemies.

Silvana, while another fairly interesting character, is just a villain-of-the-week with an added dose of Chris's sexual insecurity.

Sarah & Rita Jackarass - These two are both stupid minor characters, but why on Earth did there need to be two of them?

GodJesus exists solely to heap praise onto our beloved autist.

Those stupid Samurai Pizza Transformers are stupid. I hate them so much. I hope they burn in the Earth's lava core.

Sonichu & Rosechu's children are initially just there to be cloyingly cute and then once they're grown to be Chris's LGBT mouthpieces, forgetting that we won't listen to anything they say because we already hate them. Of special pointlessness is Cerah, because while Robbie is the most punchable he's at least the focus character of a lot of the newer stuff (even though we hated him as a Sonee, we hated him as a Sonichu, and we'll hate him as a Rosechu), and Christine is vapid she gives credence to the idea that Magi-Chan is giving it to Rosechu behind Sonichu's back which is way more interesting than canon. Cerah does jack squat besides be a lesbian.

The Asperchu cameos are just there for Chris to try to force Alec to give him what he wants and the Basement Rosechus are just there to slander Alec's name.

Sandy is particularly irrelevant since Simonla's back, she was never anything more than a replacement goldfish for her.

Kevin the Jew - I knew it! I knew it all along! Peppermint Patty is a boy!

Bananasaurus - Don't listen to your Patreon backers Chris.

Lastly, Russel & Cynthia are just there to fill the Sonee/Rosee void left when Cera Christine & Robbie evolved, a void no one in particular wanted filled.

Edited (27/10/17) to include all the MLP characters and Chris's ponysona - We hate them and we want Sonichu back. 

#cwc extras

[from-story-to-screen]

A Compilation of some of my favorite Writing Prompts

The royal family employs no bodyguards. A would-be assassin discovers why.

Two gay guys and two lesbians have to pretend to be straight for an entire weekend, pretending to be each other’s dates for a wedding.

You, a time traveler, accidentally introduces 21st-century slang to Shakespeare.

Angel/demon romance, where the demon is the stuffy, orthodox one and the angel is like “hold my beer”.

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search histories. You’re a serial killer, you go on a date with a writer.

You have many of the abilities of a Disney princess. You can talk to animals, people burst into song around you, it seems every other day a “prince charming” type falls madly in love with you. As one of the most feared mafia enforcers in New York, it’s tough, but you make it work.

Dating an immortal and you find a photo album of their exes dating back a century. All the exes sort of look like you and the immortal’s been dating all of them in the hopes of getting you to remember your first life when you first met them.

You are what mankind believes to be the devil. However there are three things that they’re got all wrong: 1. Everyone goes to heaven, no matter what they do in life. 2. You’re the only one who’s ever escaped heaven. 3. Heaven is absolutely fucked.

The world goes through 2000 year natural cycles of magic and non-magic. The non-magical cycle is about to end any day now.

After Lucifer was kicked out of heaven, he decided to make his own paradise. Both compete to have the best afterlife, sadly you lived a sin-free life and got sent to heaven. God is throwing a very boring, sin-free party. You spend your time trying to get kicked out so you can go to hell.

You come from a family of highly respected heroes. All three of your big brothers are known as powerhouses, but you rarely see them since they’re always saving the city. One day you realize that the only way to see all of your brother is to become a villain. Turns out you’re better at it than you thought, and family dinners suddenly become the most amusing time of day.

Write a completely ordinary story about an ordinary person’s life with an almost unsettlingly idyllic environment, but at the end reveal that the main character is an unreliable narrator and has actually been on a murdering spree the entire time.

Your roommate is literally the devil, surprisingly, he is the best roommate you’ve ever had.

Every person on earth is born with a tattoo on each arm. One matches your soulmate, and one matches your worst enemy. However, most people have no clue which is which. You do, because they are both the same.

Grim Reaper, not tied to any particular religion, they just personify death and collect the soul and take them...where? What if they’re like afterlife HR? Where they go depends on their belief.

A show/book where each chapter has a new story with a new set of characters and each chapter ends in a cliffhanger. In the final chapter(s), they show conclusions for all the stories, and reveal that the stories connect like puzzle pieces.

Twilight, but Bella stays in Arizona and it’s about Charlie Swan finding out that his best friend is a werewolf and the town doctor he’s trusted for years is a vampire, and he helps stop the vampires that are murdering everyone.

A guy who runs for president and wins but suddenly realizes that he doesn’t want to be president and just starts doing ridiculous things to try to get impeached but it never works because they always end up miraculously being the right thing to do. 100% approval rating, most popular president ever.

The Purge but it’s 24 hours where retail workers can be as rude as they want.

You’re part of a community that lives on an island, no other land mass in sight. When a crime is committed, the person responsible has to “go find more land” to redeem their honor. Someone has yet to return. You’ve just been caught stealing.

Your alternate universe self comes to kill you. The only thing is, you are the evil version.

A seemingly bottomless pit was found, for which the depth can’t be determined. Over time, scores of people began using it to illegally dump trash, many have jumped in to die, while others jumped believing that they’ll find life’s answers within. Today, the truth about the hole is learned.

Your phone rings; the number looks familiar. You pick up to hear your own voice asking you for help.

Your daughter has been begging you for a pony, and you told her to write a letter to Santa. On Christmas morning, you find a fire-breathing horse in your front yard, and a package by your front door. Looks like she wrote a letter to Satan, and he delivered.

You’re an assassin with a 6th sense. You help ghosts seek out vengeance for the wrong that was done to them when they were alive.

If the eyes of an animal are on the sides of the animal’s head, they are a “prey” species. If the eyes are on the front, they are a “predator” species. Explain why nature designated dragons as a “prey” species.

In a world where what doesn’t kill you literally makes you stronger, you run a clinic that gives people near-death experiences.

The wrinkled fingertips are just the beginning of the transformation. We just always leave the water too early.

Since you were 8 years old, you’ve been helping people and giving things away for free; the only condition: that one day you’ll call on that person for a favor. You’re now 33 and owed 10,000 favors. You decide to call them in all at once.

As a babysitter you are putting a young girl to bed. She says, “Don’t worry, there aren’t any monsters in the closet. Daddy keeps them all locked up in the basement.”

The reaper does not bring death, he follows it. The reaper is not an omen of doom, he is a guardian, sent to protect your soul on its way from one world to the next. The things that wait between the worlds are...unpleasant.

A photographer and a sniper meet in a bar. Neither is aware of the other’s occupation. They talk about “how to take the perfect shot”.

You are the devil and you have been summoned via a satanic ritual. As you manifest yourself, you find yourself in a quaint living room and meet a sweet old lady who just wants some company.

Art museum guards don’t guard the painting in fear that someone might steal them, they guard the artwork in fear that someone might get too close and fall in.

The devil mixed up your paperwork and gave you someone else’s personal hell, which to you, is heaven.

When the police came to announce you the death of your husband, you refused to believe it. “That’s impossible,” you said. “Unfortunately, it’s the truth, miss,” answered the policemen. “It’s impossible,” you say again,” because he’s in the kitchen making dinner”.

A man who sees ghosts checks himself into a mental institution, oblivious to the fact that the facility has been closed for almost 30 years.

You’re in charge of assigning every child on earth the monster under their bed. One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to them to quit. You decide to assign yourself.

You have an ATM that gives you the exact amount of money you need to survive for the day, how you spend it is your choice. Today you are given $70,000,000.

Every time a person makes a promise or bargain, a tattoo is etched onto their skin. You just went out with friends drinking so much, you passed out. Upon awakening, you can’t recall what happened and realize that your whole arm has been inked black. Someone knocks on your door

“Welcome to hell! As the seventh human to ever arrive here, you are now an official member of the 7 Deadly Sins!”

Your oldest brother is a military genius. Your little sister has cured 3 types of cancer. The twins are working on a new method of locating planets fit for terraforming. And you...you are mom’s favorite.

I know i’m getting close to finishing my time machine because I’ve caught several older versions of myself trying to sabotage my lab.

Dream superpower: the ability to manipulate probability.

Every time you die your injured limbs and body parts are replaced by machines and you slowly become less and less human until the point where you have no human body parts left and must decide whether you will continue to fight for humanity, with which you have no remaining connection.

There’s a love triangle but then the girl realizes she’s asexual and gets a puppy and a cat and the two boys fall for each other. Boys realize they were only fighting for the girl because they wanted to impress one another other.

A ghost and a zombie come from the same person. Ghost watches their zombie body stumbling around with dismay.

A tattoo appears on people’s skin at key points in their life and they must figure out what they mean.

The asteroid that hit the earth and killed the dinosaurs was actually a UFO and humans are the aliens.

Four roommates are extraterrestrials who have taken human form in the hopes of learning about earth’s culture. Unfortunately, each alien is from a different planet and believes the other three are normal humans.

Your super power is that you are average at everything you do. (flying, communicating with aliens, curing cancer, etc.)

The year is 2030. The first astronauts have landed on Mars. They find a cave with a single human skeleton and 4 words written on the wall.

You have the ability to hear the honest answer to any question just by looking at a person and mentally asking the question. It was all fun and games until you looked in the mirror and asked a question you shouldn’t have.

A woman is cursed by the gods to kill any man she falls in love with. She falls in love with a man who was cursed by the gods with immortality.

The remains of the human race live in a glass dome with no entrance or exit, which protects them from the wasteland on the outside. One morning a dusty handprint appears on the outside.

Suddenly, all over the world, all children start drawing the same thing over and over again.

Your doorbell rings and it’s a person from an alternate universe who says “i just wanted you to know that you are my favorite book character and i know how it ends and i want to change it.”

You get a deep cut for the first time in your life; instead of bone or muscle, you see wires.

“My domain is time,” said the genie. “Instead of three wishes, you get three decisions. Go back and choose again.”

You’re an archaeologist working on a dig when you uncover a thick pane of glass. You dust the dirt away, and see the inside of a massive bio-dome, hidden for too long. Only one organism is inside, and it was meant to be forgotten.

A child is kidnapped. Outraged, the monsters living under the bed and in their closet vow to find them.

You die. As you go up to paradise, you notice it seems to be in ruins. Then you find the corpse of god.

“And the legions of Hell rose from the great split in the earth, but they did not emerge in a geyser of flame. The demons and monsters varied greatly, from delicate, sapphire wings to great, lumbering monstrosities. At the head of the army walked Lucifer himself, a dark cloak flowing beside him. The forces of Hell had arrived, to save humanity from Heaven’s wrath.”

Write a superhero story that’s narrated by the villain, who leads the reader to believe that they are the hero. However, due to the biased narration the reader only realizes that they’ve been misled in the final sentences.

Since the beginning of time, humanity has believed that death is universal. Everything that is born must also die. We’ve created our world around this single fact, worshipped gods, sacrificed and prayed, but when we finally make contact with the rest of the universe it is discovered that death is in fact not real. Most aliens believe it’s a silly old legend, and it is determined that only humans do in fact die. Write what comes of this discovery.

You’re alone in your room when suddenly, you disappear and arrive in an unknown location. Turns out you’re in hell and this time, the tables have been turned. You’ve been summoned by a demon who needs your help.

They say that “history is written by the victors.��� Turns out, so are fairytales; they’ve been twisted by the “heroes” of the fairytale world to make themselves look like they’ve always been in the right. You are a fairytale villain at a support group for characters like you.

You’re a wealthy and famous writer whose bestselling children’s series, about a young girl escaping her house nightly to battle monsters in a fantasy world, has brought you endless success. Following your daughter’s eighth birthday, you start to notice strange cuts and bruises on her in the morning, which she casually dismisses. Your curiosity gets the best of you, and one night you enter your daughter’s bedroom far past her bedtime, but it’s not the room you know that you step into—it’s the world of your own series’ Book Five.

You’re a demon who governs the creation of Personal Hells; parts of Hell created for the truly despicable designed specifically around them. You’ve just gotten a submission for someone who doesn’t seem to be afraid of anything.

Apparently the tooth fairy is a pretty controversial figure among skeletons. some think she is a thief that steals mouth bones others think she is the true skeleton queen.

“I would probably win an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress in a biopic about my own life.”

Why can’t the pirate get the princess for once?

Conversation prompt: “We’re a team of highly trained professionals.” “No you’re not, you’re all wearing friendship bracelets.”

You have been accepted into a school for supernatural creatures. You decide to let your teachers and classmates guess what you are.

A story about vigilante Victorian prostitutes hunting down Jack The Ripper.

Every person, at exactly midnight on New Years following their 22nd birthday, possesses the body of their soulmate; people run around trying to figure out who they are so they can find one another, leave notes for the body’s owner to find with their address. There are language gaps so people have to translate it and travel to different countries carrying the notes they’re left. Write about the search and adventure of one.

A retired supervillain is in the bank with his 6 year old daughter when a new crew of super villains comes in to rob the place.

For as long as you can remember, you’ve worn glasses. Your parents always made sure you had them on and formed the habit. One day you forget them and realize you can see something no one else can.

The character wakes up multiple times a week with inexplicable bruises on their arms and legs. The day they graduate from college, an agent from the CIA approaches them and introduces them to Project Nightlight.

I hit play and watch myself in the recording. But what i see isn’t what i remember.

At birth, everyone has the date they will die imprinted on their arm. You were supposed to die yesterday.

Every baby is taken away by the government and returned when they are ten years old. They never remember what happened in those years, but they always recognize their parents. You, however, remember everything. And those aren’t your parents.

You were born with the ability to know what is buried beneath your feet. You have worked for years alongside archaeologists finding lost cities and ancient treasures. However, today is the first time you have ever said “We should not dig here.”

A man calls 911 and says in a soft voice, “I am currently sitting next to the little girl you are looking for. She is safe, for now, but if no one comes to get her quick enough, i will be forced to do something unspeakable to her kidnappers”.

Human emotions can be bottled and sold on the black market. You are in desperate need of money and sell yours. It will take months to grow back, leaving you empty inside. The next day you meet Her.

You are a recently hired psychiatrist in a mental hospital. Some of your patients insist that they were once staff, but are now being held prisoner/hostage by the actual patients that now run the hospital.

A depressed guy moves into a house which is inhabited by 7 demons, each one corresponding to a different Deadly Sin. But, they are trying to help him get back on his feet.

Your girl is a member of a shadowy organization bent on ruling the world. Your best friend is a CIA operative, and your dog is a secret escaped lab experiment. And you? Well, you run a website debunking conspiracy theories.

You slowly begin to realize that all your friends are undercover agents tasked with keeping you alive. Then, at your birthday party, with every one of your friends surrounding you, the people trying to kill you finally find you.

You adopt 4 teenage girls. As they grow up, you begin to realize that each one of them represents a horseman of the apocalypse. All hell breaks loose when Famine steals War’s significant other.

In the future, virtual reality has flourished. One of the more controversial uses is prisons. Whatever crime you commit, you have to relive it through your victim’s point of view. It’s your first day in prison and you’re terrified because of what you did.

#writing prompts