#i know grief is a process and all that

[kkoct-ik]

anon request from the other day for the :)

#grian #grian fanart #hermitcraft #hermitcraft fanart #jellie the cat #like all rendered pieces this has given me grief akin to animalistic rage <- the artistic process #i hope you consider me not only the jellie guy but also a friend #oh ya TY FOR REQUEST ANON! i hope you know this is for you. hope you are having a wonderful day :D #kostik draws

[clownsuu]

Oh please show us more clymene moth! Howdy concepts and how others react around him when they learn what may happen before it happens (or more reactions to when it has already happened, cause angst + this amazing artstyle is beautiful x3)

Ok sooooooo I made a lil iddy biddi emo sketch comic cause I got heckin bored and wanted a lil bit of angst (just a wee bit)

cw that angsty emo shid

Couldn’t stop giggling drawing emo Frank JDHCHDCHHDEJCNN

#Who knows how long Wally and the others would have waited for Howdy to come back smhhhhhh #Jk I know it’s around/over 2 years since howdy kept resisting it #Making it harder for his body to naturally go through the process #All of them- though Wally the most- went through basically all the stages of grief #Wally slowly losing his mind in the process #Welcome home #welcome home wally #wally darling #welcome home howdy #howdy pillar #welcome home frank #frank frankly #prob gunna draw two puppets smoochin after this smhhhh #Wallypillar

[avspol]

it was absolutely foul of araki to name polnareff's sister sherry (phonetically very similar to cherry) and then decide that kakyoin would be associated with cherries and that he would be like a brother to polnareff and that he would also die . why would you do that

#literally only realised the cherry thing YESTERDAY this is what im saying when im like theres alwaus more to think about with these guys . #anyway sherry and kakyoin parallels make me MISERABLE and i think about it all a lot ..... #polnareff definitely sees sherry in kakyoin but i dont think hes even aware of it really until after kakyoin dies and theyre both kind of #entangled in his grief and processing of their deaths. hahaha . ha ha . i feel sick #most phyrric victory in the WORLD what if you avenged your sister but lost everything else . i know ive said this before . but #izzy.txt

[scintillyyy]

red robin #4

robin iii: cry of the huntress #4

same vibes. to me.

#dick and tim #arkham takes are dumb and tired #tim should instead angst about how ppl always want to send him to metropolis when he's riding the struggle bus #tim should tell dick that he's acting like jack & that should have the same energy of when my fil tells my mil she's acting like her sister #we all know what that really means when that is said #actually realistically i in no way think that dick was trying to shuttle tim off to another city because he couldn't deal with him #nor do i think that he was trying to institutionalize tim. clearly he was just trying to get him to talk to someone #but the 'in metropolis' bit always gets me a little bit because there's a perceived distance from gotham damian etc implied there #like why not a therapist in gotham? because dick wanted tim to have some distance from the cause of all his current pain #because maybe he thought that's what tim needed to heal. to process away from the epicenter of grief. #anyways that it's metropolis will never not be funny to me because i can make this joke

[whaliiwatching]

cozy color..

#transformers #starscream #knock out #knockscream #koss #kept freaking out n stimming over this while drawing it #i am SO HAPPY with how it turned out!!!!! #even tho the coloring process was a NIGHTMARE #just. hmngh. peace after war. star prolly escapes jail and hunkers down as far from civilization as he can #there is nothing left for him to fight for—the world he knew is long gone #maybe ko finds him while on a drive through the more rural parts of cybertron #he’s thinking the same thing #not sure what happens from there—maybe ko brings him back and they start a new life together #maybe ko stays with him in the ‘country’ #either way. love and grief. you know the drill #you can’t go home again and all #that’s way sadder than i was thinking it would be #but its hopeful dw i like happy endings

[worstloki]

Thor showing up @ Loki's cell in TDW shortly after he was informed of their mother's death calling him out on being an illusion bc he's too composed after the news when he, mr repression himself, attended the death and funeral looking like this

#foul behaviour #im telling you all Thor is very manipulative he is just charismatic about it #he's more manipulative than Loki and never gets called out on it ever #Thor knowing Loki would be hurt and taking the revenge angle like surely that's what Loki would want right #Thor 'im allowed to cover up my grief' Odinson visiting his brother like nu uh #though I do think Thor had more of a warning since he figured out the situation and had been heading to the room Frigga died in #Thor at least expected it and knew the circumstances Loki likely didn't get that info since he tried asking Thor about it #Loki watching Thor acting Normal(TM) like their mother didn't die and picking a fight about it #peak #Thor being frustrated about it too and almost hitting Loki but they process stuff differently i guess #neither bro can help each other like that XD

[pandora15]

life is cruel.

it's tragic, horrific, and unfair. it gives us the worst of things, causes us to feel and experience things that are so unspeakably painful that sometimes I can't even. I can't even.

and it seems even more cruel in those moments of pain and grief and loss when you see something beautiful, like fall colors, or the color of the sky at sunset, or how the holidays typically are meant to bring joy to people but all you can think about now is that every year when this time of year comes, you'll just think about how tragic it is.

and cruel.

and horrific.

and unfair.

and beautiful.

#grief #grief tw #so i'm dealing with grief intimately for the first time like. ever. and i'm having a lot of emotions #and i can't help but observe that the way i write it in fic feels. kinda like how i feel right now? in some ways? #but also like. everyone goes through it differently and there's no like correct way to process #for me i'm. okay most of the time when i have a lot of stuff to do #which is like 90% of the time #but i'm also just feeling a lot of things and trying to figure out how to move forward #especially with the knowledge that life is short and cruel and you just never know what might happen #and i can't just not do the things i truly want to do with my life because i'm SCARED #because. you never know what might happen #you never know when the end is gonna come #anyways i drove back to my apartment today and i saw beautiful fall colors on the way #and all i can think is ''how can the world be so beautiful and so horrible at the same time'' #''so beautiful and so fucking CRUEL at the same time'' #''and to the people who least deserve its cruelty'' #anyways that's where i'm at ig #still got two classes moving and a full time job to do while all of this is happening 🙃 #all things considered. i'm okay. not great but i'm doing my best #really in my post tpm obi-wan era except to a lesser degree #but i certainly have a LOT of responsibilities to deal with along with my grief so. yeah.

[fallenstarzz]

any stuart crumbs for us tonight?

I haven't really worked on it lately because I've been trying to focus on the fest fic (and coming up with a million other wips on the side to distract me from the fact that I cannot for the love of me get that fucking opening right). Buuuut here's a snippet from the funeral scene:

I feel like Neil and Stuart's relationship has a lot of potential, though it doesn't really get explored past the basic on this fic (at least not in my plans). I don't think they could ever see eye to eye in any universe that was not drastically different, and there is something to me that just feels right about this limbo they settle on, where Stuart is still protecting Neil from a distance but neither of them really have anything to do with each other, kind of like a mafia guardian angel. They both had one thing in common, and it was Mary, but even then she meant very different things to each of them. Now that she's gone, though, they remain connected by having been two people that loved her – and I think that does impact the fact that they won't let their relantionship evolve past being Mary's brother and Mary's son, as if they are preserving some part of her by refusing to let those versions of each other go, and allowing themselves to get closer as who they are now would shatter that illusion.

Also, I went through the last book and in his appearences after Baltimore, Stuart doesn't call Neil by name (granted, they have only one on-screen conversation), and in Baltimore, he calls him Nathaniel and not Abram – so though I do think Stuart refers to him as Neil in their conversations, in his mind Stuart will always think of him as Nathaniel. Because I think that while he doesn't resent Neil personally for it, Stuart is very aware of whose son he is.

(In a similar way, Stuart thinks of Ichirou as Ichirou even though he refers to him as Lord Moriyama most of the time before they get closer, because I do think fitting that a British man has some bones to pick with the class implications of the Moriyama's hierarchy and no one is stopping him from being blatantly disrespectful inside his mind. There is a pretty good case to be made in canon for the fact that Stuart doesn't really respect Ichirou at all even if he knows to fear him and that's a very fun balance to navigate).

It was also pretty fun to describe Andrew from the perspective of someone who is soooo indifferent to his existence. He's just a little guy to Stuart.

There's probably more I could say but I should really sleep now. So... Bone apple teeth?

#soooooo much of this fic is about me just saying GRIEF IS A BITCH I WANT MY SISTER BACK with my whole chest #but don't worry it is offset by plenty of genuine character analysis #and even more toxic yaoi. perfectly balanced as all things should be etc etc #also I don't know why I decided to be coy about it when I did the first line challenge #so Ill start tagging it by title bc I really love my titles and they are a cornerstone of my creative process anyway #so #my wips #fic: the art of failing up #stuart hatford #neil josten #mary hatford #ichirou moriyama #also I need a good ship name for stuart/ichirou like yesterday

[moe-broey]

HEARTBREAKING

Worst Dad You Know Has an Extremely Endearing (Now) Reoccurring Character Trait

For further context: this whole FB involved Sharena and Henriette seeking out lockpickers in the Order of Heroes to open this VERY SECURELY locked box from Gustav's room that took Tina's special staff to finally crack open (or rather -- "steal" the contents out of. No one could actually break the lock!)

And the first instance of this!

It makes me wonder if he saved anything related to Sharena..........

#fire emblem #feh #man. henriette's sad portrait w 'yes. he must have' carries so much bittersweet grief. augh #when it comes to sharena idk if i would be more angry if he did save something or if he didn't. i'm almost leaning towards the first though #like. idk if i can even word it but it fucking sucks when you have family that 'loves' you and they do actually genuinely love you #but they just. do it wrong. and fail you severely in the process. you think to yourself it would have been easier actually #if they had simply never loved you at all. or if they were upfront and told you they don't love you anymore. #at least then you can be as vindictive as you want and hold a grudge forever and be completely justified #but extremely begrudgingly this DOES make gustav a compelling character. in so many ways #you can see where it all went wrong. you can see henriette sees something in him that no one else can. and she's not crazy for it #she was probably there. she probably saw it all happen. she knows him w a level of intimacy no one else does. #and now you see these little humanizing traits. he loved his son. he loved his partner and wife. #juries still out on his daughter. #but you get what i'm saying right? it's terribly tragic. it's painful. #man. #i'm still gustav's number one hater though. just so we're clear. #AUGH IT'S JUST. THE PLAYFULNESS OF IT. IS ACTUALLY SO PAINFUL. LOOKING AT EVERYTHING WE KNOW #they had a rock competition........ to find the roundest rock.......... and she won....... and he saved the rock she found...... #THAT'S. AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #you cannot fucking IMAGINE gustav doing that. and yet. in another time. he did. and that's who henriette fell in love with #and that's who herniette still sees. and she's not fucking wrong for it. not entirely. he still has that fucking rock. #dude i'm gonna be sick. #fe gustav #fe henriette #sharena #fe tina #fe alfonse #he's. mentioned. might as well tag him LMFAO

[haunted-xander]

I'll bury myself with your suffering, if that's what it takes

#girls when they love someone so much yet are all to aware that they unwittingly cause them suffering #and would do anything to ease it for them #even die #i think about how she makes SEVERAL comments on how she wishes she was dead so thancred wouldnt suffer so much #when she suggests fusing with minfilia proper shes literally like. i dont care what happens to me anymore i want to do whatever i can #even if it means dying/disappearing in the process #she genuinely thinks this is the only way her existance is justified #as a vessel and stepping stone for minfilia #bc shes not strong enough not fast enough she doesnt have minfilias powers #and (as far as she knows) she doesnt even have thancreds love. the person she loves the most doesnt actually care about her (in her mind) #all her life shes been a source of suffering for everyone around her #her existance was a threat to vauthry and a source of grief for ran'jit #and grief and hope and hate and love and everything all at once for thancred #like he did love her. but he also hated that it wasnt minfilia. and he grieved having to lose one but also hope for whoever would surivive. #all she wanted was for him to love her for HER and when she couldnt have that she sought his love the only way she know how #by becoming the person he wished her to be instead #ryne waters #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art #xander being insane about ryne #tw blood #cw blood

[hussyknee]

Why is my stupid idiot brain sunk to the very bottom of the sea bed like whale fall. I'm on extra strength medication, I'm staying off social media, I'm surrounded by kittens. And yet. My anxiety has turned into full blown agoraphobia and I'm so depressed that getting out of bed is a feat I only achieve because my cats need feeding.

It's been almost seventeen years of being bipolar but I still can't internalise that mood disorders are actual illnesses that disable and debilitate as much as any physical disease. Clearly the only thing wrong with me is that I'm not trying hard enough to crawl out of this. If I really wanted to get better I'd fight through my anxiety and back pain and sensory hell and do stuff like go to therapy, eat healthy, exercise and get a job.

To make matters worse, my brain keeps hollering that I'm 37 this year and no closer to joining the rest of the job-having, rent-paying, independent adult world. The fact that I've been in a consistently worsening mental health crisis since 2020 to the point that I was in greater danger than I've ever been of committing suicide the first six months of last year is clearly irrelevant. Somehow.

Tbh, if it wasn't for my rescue kittens, I'd be regretting that I didn't just go through with it. Not enough to go through with it now, but regretting it all the same. But I do have my kitties so I can't regret it. Instead, I'm just resigning myself to the fact that having something to live for, even when I don't want to, is the best I'll ever get.

#time is a terrible thing when your life stalled at age 20 #or rather it feels that way #because Ive never been able to build on anything I ever did afterwards #went abroad for college and flunked out #got married and got divorced #found friends and lost them all #tried community college and had to drop out again #got a part-time job‚ left and then only had the health and opportunity for one freelance job #between moving out‚ covid lockdowns‚ divorce going south and national economic crisis #my last good year was 2018 #and i wasn't even diagnosed or treated yet back then #losing my #entire adult life to disability is a grief i don't know how to process #personal #tw suicide mention #knee of huss #life update

[nebulouscoffee]

Me, attending the latest in a ridiculous number of funerals this year in the place of a childhood friend who couldn't be there, watching the lifeless body of an old lady who used to make me snacks in the kitchen when I was a kid be carted away forever while my friend's mother cries and tells me she's grateful I could be there because it felt like having the support of her own daughter, hugging her and talking reassuringly and not processing a single one of these emotions: ... I am going to write soooo much fanfiction about this

#''this'' being collective grief. because tbvh it's the main reason I haven't written very much this year (but will slowly start to) #I write to remind myself I am lucky. I keep telling myself this but even now when I feel awful I am so lucky #I am lucky that none of these funerals have involved very close family members or friends of mine #and I am lucky to be living in conditions with the space to write and space to grieve #and space to come together to mourn with dignity while people not that far away from me are not receiving the same privilege rn #I am lucky my dad was with me today and I spent the evening chatting with him on the terrace I am lucky he is alive I am lucky I am lucky #(apologies if this sounds like a robot malfunctioning lmao writing is just how I process things) #(and apparently I just don't seem to feel like I have the right to feel bad about any of this anywhere except my st@r trek blog hehe) #anyway. To stay on theme I shall say something about Trills :D #I imagine loss and grief must register very differently to them. very Non Linearly in the literal sense but also a highly abstract one #even I feel this massive sense of time warp between all these funerals; and this chest-crushing distance between me and my friends #how do Trills even exist #how do they wake up every day remembering all those friends and children and parents who loved them and they loved and are gone now #and still function #how does Ezri feel walking around with memories of parents that aren't hers (but were soooo much better than hers) taking care of her #does she feel comforted by them? does it feel like the people in those memories were always comforting HER specifically? #does it even matter who it belonged to originally if a memory is HERS now? #does Ezri mourn for any parents of past hosts more than she knows she will mourn for her own mother one day? #does having all this lived experience bring her reassuring amounts of perspective for a 20-something or just overwhelm her all the more? #idk; but I hope she learns to take comfort in her past hosts' memories of family eventually... #(...again. I am going to write sooooo much fan fiction about this lmao) #cw death

[teobug]

Barely slept because my very old kitty is sick and this might Be It for her since we do not have the money to take her in and even if we did, it is more likely than not a complication of kidney failure which we have known to be an inevitable end for a while now

#i am feeling. hmmm. not good #she's like 16 to 17 years old at this point. ive had her my sntire teenhood to adult life #she is small and frail and sneezing and exhausted and i dont blame her #its like age hit her all at once so fast #i am so tired and sad and i dont know how to. process or think about it #how do I think about the idea of her life coming to an end. how do i consider if i need to allow the unthinkable #if her suffering is too great for her little body how will i know. how will i know she needs to go #im so scared of making her hurt or suffer longer than she needs to but im also scared of taking away her life out of selfish grief #she deserves a kind and gentle death when the time comes but i dont know how to make that happen for her or when and im scared #sorry if you read this far im just. exhausted and. scared and sad #i dont want to lose another staple of my life so soon after my grandma #vent #delete later

[the-kipsabian]

#ive had. extremely hard time already processing this year tbh #both old grief and new grief. its just a lot #i know i dont have to do everything immediately. things dont have to get better overnight and most likely they wont #i mean. they havent #just. saw this and it made me think. probably too much but im an emotional mess at all times either way #i would just like things to be different. i know its a lot to ask and its mostly in my hands for myself but.. yeah #its just not easy. and im not dealing with it very well. i dont know #been trying to tell myself the usual. time doesnt heal it changes you. im going through difficult things and thats okay #i just.. i guess i just hoped this year would be different. so far it hasnt been its been worse #i dont know what the point of me posting this is. i just need to vent a little i guess #this is not gonna be an easy week for me and im not looking forward to it. like said grief is a very difficult thing for me #difficult and new. im trying but its hard. i dont know how im gonna make it this year #anyways. sorry #night is an absolute mess on main

[martyrbat]

Bodies in Motion and at Rest – Thomas Lynch

[TEXT ID: “I want to remember him the way he was.”

And who could blame them? Who'd want to see someone they love like this? Whatever way they got like this. Dead.

“But remembering him the way he was,” I say, slowly, deliberately, as if the listener were breakable, “begins by dealing with the way he is.” I'm an apostle of the present tense. After years and years of directing funerals, I've come to the conclusion that seeing is the hardest and most helpful part. The truth, even when it hurts, has a healing in it, better than fiction or fantasy. When someone dies, it is not them we fear seeing, it is them dead. It is the death.

We fear that seeing will be believing.]

#god i love grief from an outside perspective its so #something we all experience. something we all go through. yet simultaneously something no one experiences the same. #the million different ways we process it. the million different ways it impacts us. the million different ways we moun. #its something that's so natural & impactful. its feared & denied despite being here from before we were even born. i wonder if its lonely. #death is a lover a fighter a thief a giver. its a promise for both better and worse. its something that walks with us. #just like how i tell the sunflowers hello; ive come to see it as a friend in natural nature. #i know its there. waiting. and i wait too. we might as well wait together. #cryptcites

[taeyungie]

😺

#i haven't addressed yoongi's situation yet because i'm honestly still not hit by it i guess. like it didnt gwt to me yet #i dont think ill ever love anyone the same as i love him you know what i mean #he has been the first reason of my self development. like he literally raised me??? i learned from him how to be the person i am today #and its like im saying goodbye to a family member. the thing is i have never griefed anyone's absence like this #its like a part of my soul will be missing until he comes back #but at the same time i know what he would want for me. to move on and to become my own reason #he would want me to be kind to myself. to focus on myself and not miss him that much. #he would want that for all of us right #but i have a very hard time processing things. do you guys remeber the festa last year? when we found out theyll be going on hiatus #the reality of it snd the fact that it will be happening hit me onky after around 3 months. #thats when i first cried because i realized what it meant. ofc i knew but it didnt occur to the emotional part of my brain at that time #and i feel like im truly gonna fall apart when THIS hits me in 3 months lol #my life has never been worse and thats honestly the time when i need the reassurance the most #when i need the people i love and find comfort in the most. #but its just me and thats technically just my problem. but since i am talking about my view on this then thats okay i guess hahah anyway #i just hope he knows there are milions of ppl who love him as much as i do. and thats like extra love like forever & beyond type of shit #i honestly dont think other people ever truly fully understand how we feel towards them. especially when you really love somebody #because they have their own opinions about themselves. they debate whether they deserve some kind of treatment or not. we all do that right #and i just know he does that too. i just reslly want him to feel completely loved and cherished and appreciated. #i want him to see himself through our eyes. to surround himself with people who see him exactly the way we do. #to fall in love with somebody who will see him like we see him #nobody deserves better life than this man. and i hope that after our reunion he will live that life to the fullest 💓 i can't wait to see it #anyway. if somebody needs to talk about it or wants to get sadness out of your system - im here 💓 #please keep your heads up and lets wait for him 💓 #we have esch other and we will be okay 💓 #sorry for typos i can barely see its 1am 🤓