#i kinda hate the fact that this exists

[nana-glass-chillhop-radio-hour]

Ok sorry I’m long overdue for a follow up of these tags I left on your post lol. Here goes: In my brain, the role of a cop is a very masculine one. Like obviously there are female cops but whenever they appear in media ( at the ones I’ve seen) they always are very masculine. So with Hayward whole thing about performing the role of a standard cop I think he was also performing masculinity in a very standard way. His whole arc in season 2 has also been about learning who he is outside of that performance so he I think he can also start to experiment with gender and get silly with it. I think that’d be good for him. maybe this only makes sense to me but thank you for the space to expand upon me ideas.

This is paige and Hayward season three. my final message

I just saw this response omg loving where you head is at... gotta get this out on the record before s3e3

#he can be gnc like harry dubois never let himself be #the silt verses #investigating officer hayward #hayward's gender has GOT to be weird like his whole thing with his wife who doesn't exist is SO gender #god I need to go back and rewrite 'come hell or high water' to make Hayward's wife not have been real #I think Jon and Muna have heavily implied that Hayward's wife was supposed to exist at the end of s1 #but Jon decided to make her fake retroactively just to fuck with us #(in a 'just to fuck with us (affectionate)' kinda way #I don't believe in rewriting fic to conform to canon but the fact that THAT'S the fanon they canonized is *so* fucking good #a tasty tasty treat for us gremlins #but his wife that doesn't exist... he's like an alien in a human body doing a dane cook routine at work #whenever he talks about his wife who doesn't exist hating him I'm reminded of that John Mulaney bit #of 'my wife's a bitch and I don't like her? That's not a comedy routine! That's a support group for men in crisis!' #like Hayward. you invented this woman #she isn't real #why did you make her a bitch who doesn't like you???? #and who YOU are pathetically still in love with #Like that's the craziest thing he doesn't even portray himself as in a failing marriage #he portrays himself as being desparate to stay in a failing marriage even though he isn't in love because he's afraid of being alone??? #like hello am I speaking English here that's fucking insane in the membrane #siltposting #anyway thank you for answering my ask sorry to write this tag novel when you were just trying 2 help

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

A Botanical Daughter

historical fantasy

a taxidermist and botanist who live in a greenhouse in a botanical garden, far away from the disapproval of Victorian London

when they receive a shipment of a strange sentient fungi, they cultivate it inside a corpse of a recently murdered girl - who was the best friend/lover of their new housekeeper

as she grows and expands her desires they have to deal with their feelings about the potential monster they’ve created

#A Botanical Daughter #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #man I really wanted to like this but I kinda had to force myself to finish it. #really not a fan of the writing style which is very emotionally distant and full of a lot of telling not showing #it could have gotten weird and atmospheric with the writing style! we could have gotten sentient fungi POV! but no. #The characters were flat. the conceptually weird/creepy/horror aspects were executed in the most boring way #the relationship between the men is something we’re told exists but…. I don’t feel it. I don’t like them as characters. #They’re not even interesting enough to hate - or like it could have gone in the direction of embracing the unhinged murder couple vibes #they flip flop between angry arguments and making up and I’m like what is the point of that?? Honestly I didn’t feel any emotional connecti #it kinda feels like it doesn’t know whether it’s whimsical quirky-cozy vibes or like properly gothic horror #it’s somewhere in between & fails at both. it maybe suffers from trying to play into the popularity of coziness #the closest to weird we get is plant lesbian sex scene but also I laughed out loud when I read the line ‘hungry for her loam’ #like…..these men essentially create this person then cut her off from the world and her biological desires; control her autonomy/ability #to speak and the conclusion is <3 what a weird little family <3 and not she should #escape and kill them and/or make them grapple with the fact they are at fault for this potential ecological disaster let loose on the world #there’s also weird colonialist lines scattered throughout that don’t feel super interrogated…

[katyspersonal]

People that headcanon Maria as butch lesbian and/or Eileen as black woman and still are kind and respectful to different takes are good and beautiful and lovely and Great Ones can't even help them to ascend any further because they are already perfect and they get so many bitches.

People that headcanon Maria as butch lesbian and/or Eileen as black woman and trash on different takes while accusing people of bigotries are terrible and dumb and absolutely repulsive and do not take homophobia/racism seriously if they think having different headcanons on fictional characters is any of these bigotries, they should stop using the pretense of caring about real world issues to get away with shunning, passive aggression, bullying and cruelty in the fandom for the "awful sin" of being different and Rom would never want to be friends with them

People that started to dislike these headcanons just because of bad experiences with toxic fans should temporarily stop keeping track on fandom updates so they can heal and rediscover them, contradictory spirit doesn't make you free from bad people but makes you another side of the bad people coin and true freedom lays in raging individualism, don't let them claim headcanons as their weapons because butch lesbian Maria and black Eileen did nothing wrong to you and exist to make people happy, it is their enforcers who are bad.

#I kinda helped someone for whom mariadeline got ruined because of toxic fans to like ship again so?? #but I was not able to help someone who went disliking black eileen because of bullying for saying that she- #-did not have canon face so people could not act like she was a representation #bloodborne #fandomry rambles #both bullies and their victims should reject the 'community' mindset and fix their eyes on SOURCE material #what do YOU honestly feel and think? without influence from the fandom? #THIS is your priority #not bending to enforcers nor having different headcanon 'out of spite' #only your honest true non-influenced opinion is real manifestation of your creativity #and anyone who questions your beliefs over HEADCANONS is objectively evil and manipulative #at the very least thankfully bullies are not as organized as they COULD be #they are more like groups of bandits (the screechy guy and their mini-horde of mutuals) #if the Discord Church started pushing this mentality and hire hunters we'd be even more fucked! #doesn't change the fact that these groups of bandits should not exist though #'ugh I hate the community mindset' *makes a post that is nothing but caring about community's mental state* #lol lmao even #anyways I grab both enforcers and 'contradictory' haters and bonk their heads together #do better!

[tvckerwash]

hmmm I'm thinking about wash's stance on the training accident and I think it would be so funny if he gave maine a lecture about it afterwards

#they have a whole moment together that essentially boils down to wash telling maine that he's should know better and that bad orders exist #and maine is genuinely sorry because he knows it was a bad call and he tells wash that #and wash replies with “I know you are but I'm not the one who you should be apologizing too.” #wash treating maine like he's a human being with thoughts and feelings instead of a mindless weapon my beloved #maine is not happy about having to apologize to york btw. idk why we all decided that maine hates york but it's so funny #maine is a man of few words and he cannot stand the fact that york is incapable of shutting the fuck up lol #rvb #red vs blue #agent maine #agent washington #mine #lina lectures wyoming later after she knows that york is going to be okay #I really like the idea of wash being beta squads field leader and when he and ct get bumped up he shares leader duties w lina #lina is probs a commissioned officer so she technically outranks wash in under regard but she's probably fresh out of the academy when shes #recruited for pfl and commissioned officers are expected to learn the ropes from enlisted nco's so I like to think that she #really values wash's opinion on stuff and she feels confident knowing that she can look to him #the other freelancers could've done the same thing but they're all kinda. you know. so wash got the position by virtue of being the only gu #who had the balls to go up to lina and make the proposition of *gasp* cooperation #i actually have a hc that when wash and ct were first moved up and were on their first mission w alpha squad #stuff was bad and wash sort of undercuts lina by giving south and maine different orders (bc they were also both previously beta squad) #and said orders ended up being the right call and carolina is kind of mad about wash ignoring her authority #so after they get debriefed wash apologizes to lina in the locker room for it bc it was not his intention to steal her thunder #and he asks if they can start over and maybe work something out #and lina accepts his apology and york is kinda balking bc the way wash words it sounds vaguely like he's asking her on a date #york gets no bitches and cannot complete with wash's earnest rizz bdhshj

[enevera]

i dont wanna count the weeks i just feel sad

#i hate crying and the only thing worse than crying is crying in public so no crying #we are not fucking crying get a fucking hold of yourself bitch #anywya its been like just over a month #what an awful fucking existence #had to talk to my therapist last week abt the fact that everything is just kinda horrible rn #nothing is good eerything even things i like and make me happy are just a little bit awful #bc i feel awful #i dont wanna eat i dont wanna go places i force myself to exist when id rather just curl into a ball and fade into nothing #quit fucking crying bitvch this is pathetic get a fcuking hold of yourself your moms dead get over yourself theres no time to be sad rn #got shit to do and a fuck ton to worry abt put the emotions in a little fucking box go get a pastry or smth jfc #maybe ill do some work #if my hands would stop shaking thatd be nice i probably need to eat but i rlly just dont want to hm #id go home but i prolly shouldnt drive when im in this sorta mood :/ #the mood swings are sooooo fucking bad btw lmao #vent #idk how to tw tag this ugh #this isnt even abt anything im just talking rn

[rustinged]

on what account do your base your idea of yourself on? do you base it on your past actions, thoughts, ideas? how far back? do you account for how you have changed? do you base it on what you are doing in your day to day? I force myself to be brave. does that mean I am brave? am I simply feigning the personality of bravery? or is that what a brave person is to begin with? what is a brave person? say your current actions conflict past actions, but you feel your current actions (positive, negative, or neutral) don’t reflect you. what is “you” ? how are you defining you? for how long can you continue with your current actions before your past actions become irrelevant?

#example: you have to get up early everyday for your job/school/etc but you like to sleep in. you consider yourself a nocturnal person #but it’s hard for your body to keep up with staying up late so you begin waking up early consistently - even on the weekends. you naturally #do it and never sleep in anymore #would you still consider yourself a night owl #even though you mentally know that in the past you liked to sleep in - there is no new evidence to back up that you are in fact a night owl #your current actions say you like to wake up early #i feel like it always boils down to the question of: are you your actions or your thoughts #am i brave because I carry out brave actions? I am a cowardice at heart.. but none of my actions say that. but do they have to? #am I a brave cowardice then? shaking as I reach every goal #is it possibly to exist as both? should it be possible to only exist as one? #drives me nuts to think about this kinda stuff. it’s why I hate filling out that mbti test #am I answering these questions based off of past actions that I may or may not identify with anymore if I don’t have a recent example? #if I don’t go out how can I answer social questions? if I do go out because I didn’t leave my house for 2 years and am catching up on all #the social time I missed BUT it still feels out of character for me - how do I answer?? #they ask for my actions I can give them my actions but the lack of asking my feelings and vice versa is what gets to me #I have to end this cause I can seriously go on forever

[coolzvillesuckz]

i WILL post my ocs. and you WILL look at them

#clementine chastain #caliber chastain #sleight chastain #original characters #kingdom of none #fun fact about that ocverse name i dont remember making it #it was just on the toyhouse category clementine was under and i kept it #anyways. fantasy ocs. maybe modernish fantasy #the entire aesthetic is kinda inspired by like. how hermitcraft and those adjacent youtubers make me feel #like that type of worldbuilding #le minecraft lore #original art #artist on tumblr #i kind of um. hate how at least 2 of these turned out but yknow i needed them to exist

[octoberconstellation]

The thing with dementia is fuck Nickolas Sparks

#the notebook #nickolas sparks #i kinda hate this movie #My grandpa died with dementia and it was terrible #You can’t just take an existing disease and twist it to make it sexy #beside the fact that Ryan and Rachel’s characters (idk their names anymore) are in one of the most toxic relationships ever #that’s not how dementia works at all though #you remember your oldest memories #From when you were young but not new memories #(for the most part) #why didn’t he just make up a fake disease for his stupid book?

[hadoriel]

Love suddenly bursting into tears because I want my life to mean something but life is inherently meaningless

#personal #SORRY just bad bout of sudden depression #I mean I have chronic depression but sometimes it just kinda pops in to remind me how much I hate life #really I think that sums up my very root for depression though tbh #I want my life to have meaning to it but am sidelined by the fact there's nothing I want to live for and that anything I do is meaningless #so I'm more or less just sitting around being mostly bedridden wishing I could die but sticking around just because people say I should #so I'm whittling away the time until this can finally end and at the same time enduring the horrible pain that is existing in general #what sucks too is nobody has any solution to it whenever I ask for help #it's just the same misguided attempts that I know don't work or just depressing the crap out of the person trying to help me #I wish I could approach it all with 'cool' nihilism like 'okay then just I'll do what I want' but I think what I want is meaning #but I know meaning doesn't exist so I just sit there like... cool then I guess I'll just waste my time here in purgatory #sorry again if this hurt anyone reading

[the-ark-awaits]

it does kinda feel like everything im in is dead. all the roleplays, all the games, its all kinda. just nothing. idk it just kinda feels bad

#and i know logically why most of these things are dead #but like thats not stopping my brain from being like 'ok but actually its not cause of everyone including you being busy' #'its because everyone Secretly Fucking Hates You :)' and i like 'would you stfu you stupid pile of tapioca' #but yeah i do kinda feel like ive been really annoying folks lately between like some really insane interests lately #everyone kinda falling out of the shaed interest at once leaving the group kinda>???? #and like. every time a shared interest died so does the friendgroup but also like this friendgroup existed before the interest! it just #existed w/o me cause i was the added on member who kinda just kept tagging on and wouldnt fuck off #but i dont have like. any other friends atm so thats like. concerning? idk i feel really isolated lately #i wish i could contribute more to things but i just dont have the talents required most of the time and when i do i have some sort of #technical issue or time issue that prevents me from doing it #man idk i just wanna do things again but i dont wanna bother folks #and i wanna feel like im not bothering people when i focus on weird stuff cause like im deffo bothering people rn when i spam asks n shit #im deffo bothering people when im infodumping about 2b and radioactivity and tornados n shit too but like. man idk #maybe i should take a couple days maybe a week and like. kinda just do my own thing alone for a while #play some single player games n shit watch my documentary videos and not share weird facts from them

[akkivee]

phew!!!!!! the episode’s reception amongst jp fans is hilariously passive aggressive tho lmao!!!!!!

#this is vee speaking #the nitpicks i personally had about the episode are what jp twitter is kinda seething about #so i just keep going ‘FCKING FACTS YALL’ lol it seems to have been a dealbreaker for them #but since i’m an mtc casual rhyme anima mtc exists in my head as rhyme anima mtc #the way i hate the writing on stage kuukou is what mtc stans go thru watching rhyme anima and i feel for them lol 😔✊ #i enjoyed the episode because PLOT but poor one out for the more character driven watchers

[bourbon-ontherocks]

#This better not foreshadow anything 😡😡😡 HPI: HAUT POTENTIEL INTELLECTUEL 2.06 || S Comme Italie / 2.08 || Serendipity

#hpi gifs #hpi edits #my edit #hpi #hpi tf1 #morgane alvaro #there are no words to properly express how much I HATE unneccessary pregnancy plotlines in tv shows #leave morgane's uterus alone 2k22 lol #not me clinging to the fact that she said in S1 that she didn't want a fourth kid lmao #also you really think Karadec wouldn't already have enough on his plate with the existing kids if he and Morgane were a couple???? #my boy is terrified every time he's around the three at the same time I bet he'd get a vasectomy instantly #😂😂😂 #anyway #I just wanted to rant dasit #sometimes I love parallels and sometimes I uh... don't #unrelated but I love Morgane's look in that fourth one <3 #also I find it kinda sad that Morgane didn't even call Serge when Chloe was born?? #like I can understand the whole cutting bridges with your family stuff but deaths and births should be the exception to radio silence imo #and I'm saying that from uh experience

[ananas-pineapple-thing]

u know i’m not sure if it’s because i read the series pretty young but i never got into percabeth even though i like their characters and enjoyed the narrative of them growing up and getting together !🫣 i think it works for the story but i don’t have any strong feelings abt it

#the shark is 2 soften the blow. in fact the shark is saying this not me he is speaking thru me. i am merely a vessel #i do not have a single pjo ship. the characters get together and i go ah. that makes sense <3 #actually wait sometimes i say no <3 hashtag free leo from rr and hazel too #also. i will die on the hill that jason/leo works better than their canon ships #apparently i do have opinions 😳 #i do think percabeth is super cute but i think reading it back when romance in books kind of annoyed me made me not get the hype #like if i had the patience to reread the first series now i would probably be a lot more into it #i think i was more invested in the trio than in their individual relationships with each other #grover percy and annabeth was soooo cuuuute i miss them #also seeing people hate rachel for being a girl with a crush made me super annoyed! she’s just existing omg 😭 #i kinda made me :/ at the percabeth shippers for a bit #annabeth was so rude in that situation and she was supposed to be! she’s growing up and trying 2 be her best self but she has flaws too #she has a lot of flaws and that makes her interesting but not Correct #tbh percabeth was the only option story wise but i don’t think rachel/percy is an extremely offensive concept #i do recognize that the way her character was treated is a product of That Time when it was cooler to hate girls 🥲 #i hope she’ll get a lot more love in the new show and people will acknowledge her as more than a home wrecker or whatever #🎵​that one sabrina carpenter song i watched in target🎵 #(all because i liked a boy or smth?) #yo that song looks so funny because her background dancers are almost all woc #which is good great excellent But idk it looks hilarious when these girls are kicking and bullying the cute white blonde girl 😭😭 #obviously i feel for her but the visual of it is unintentionally hilarious #if you read my tags you may be entitled to financial compensation #i talked enough on tumblr for today byeee

[camping-with-monsters]

Just casually drops this sillie guy :)) I say silly like he’s not the most morally gray character ever and isn’t here for anyone’s benefit but her own :)))))

This is Cuckoo— originally one of the oldest designs for Bliss before it was even an official concept of story. As The Caretaker (originally designed by @pazam of course) was inspired by that of Everywhere At The End Of Time, Cuckoo was originally inspired by another musical project called “Wake Up Calls” by Cosmo Sheldrake.

Cuckoo is a strange specimen, indeed. One that many could question the intentions of. Seemingly a scheming cryptid (or perhaps, more than a cryptid…?) who’s targets appear to strictly consist of those who have committed harrowing acts that have rendered them basically irredeemable. Their methods of bringing these victims down to their ultimate demise, being unable to shake him once he’s nested into their brains, seem… questionable, as it somehow always seems to involve more unwilling people— often those associated with such victims. Cuckoo chooses his victims wisely, often taking into account how many issues could possibly happen to make their victims worse off until they inevitably perish by some means (unless she somehow runs out of ways to make things more interesting— few ever live long enough to tell the tale without the eye of Cuckoo watching them somewhere hidden.). It’s supposed that she only does any of this for her own personal gain— well, they’re not really gaining much from this except something to entertainment her. Perhaps, it’s for his own amusement.

Lately, it seems he has their eye on a specific older woman… but that’s for later, maybe.

#So. Cuckoo. #Cuckoo kinda went MIA when it came to coming up with Bliss’s plot for a long time #mid last year was when I started reconsidering their existence into specific side character’s stories….. #Also Cuckoo literally goes by any/all pronouns !!! their gender is also ambiguous. he’s literally just a bird #with one I might eye add. wait that’s. that’s wrong wait eye— #The fact that I LOVE drawing Cuckoo but have never posted any drawing of her is criminal #hope y’all like me rambling about side characters instead of main characters :)) #I also hope y’all like Daisy-Mae cause when things about her actually get revealed y’all are gonna hate her ;)))) #she’s literally a pest #okay well uh. #saying she’s a pest is an understatement….. #Cuckoo #Bliss #Ocs #original characters #original stories #The Kiwi Draws

[justablah56]

can someone please explain why every time I try to draw the library he ends up looking more like a slightly more fucked up version of henry

#just blahs #i don't understand #why does the library need to be like that ??? #i am Struggling to come up w a design for it #i hate trying to come up with designs for characters that dont have a lot of fanart #bcs i literally cannot visualize anything . esp when it comes to podcasts #those characters do not exist they are but voices in my ear #i require fanart so that i can have kind of s vague idea that i can then build off of #i have seen 1(one) piece of fanart for the library but it doesn't really work w my style and it doesnt really match how it looks in my head #idk #but to that one anon who requested i draw the library by god im gonna fucking do it #i may bitch and complain about comign up with designs but i do genuinely enjoy it even though it is difficult and i get kinda frustrated #but i am in fact enjoying trying to come up with a design for the library hes just so silly i love him

[enter-the-darkness]

Ok tho seriously, its funny how as a mostly gay (nlm mlm) transmasc nonbinary, TERFs would say I am part of "lesbian erasure"

Like yes, I - a guy, a man who is 90% interested in male and androgynous / masc folk - am an erased lesbian because reasons

Sorry honey just cause I'd make a hot butch and you think I'm sexy af doesn't mean I would have fucked you anyways 😜😘

#female #anti-terf #terfs begone #transmasculine #transmale #nonbinary #ftm #theyre so stupid honest #if you wanna fuck me so bad just say so #i MIGHT consider if you just ASK instead of being so hateful uwu #watch them take this shit seriously #or say I radiate such energy #when Im kinda intersex lol #but I forgot intersex doesnt exist to these peanut brajns #so idk man im not gonna argue with dumb hoes who cant even acknowledge the widly #widely accepted fact that even sex isnt binary #but OK #my post #shitpost