#i just wouldnt make it like this today

[napping-sapphic]

I just want to fall in love with someone who makes me feel safe like even when we’re angry or sad or upset i just want to know that both of us are still going to be okay

#wlw #wlw mood #sapphic #sapphism #lesbian #today was….not good #and at one point i had a moment #where i was just unbearably SAD and LONELY because i didn’t have anyone to call or talk to about it #but im still really hopeful it will happen some day #because all i want in this world is to feel secure #and for others to feel secure around me #and for everyone to feel secure around people they love #because it’s so painful and scary when you don’t #but one day im going to be warm and happy in someone’s arms and will barely remember this at all #im manifesting it #im completely okay btw things just got a little rough #and in the incredibly stressful and dramatic times i was experiencing my brain STILL had to be gay #im gay and i like sleeping #also yeah i said i wouldnt post after midnight again like two days ago but whatever #im sad and want to yearn on the internet we can make an exception tonight

[skitskatdacat63]

Hello guys!!!!! Aforementioned project is finally finished 🫠 It was meant to be just a simple weekend project, and ended up being 30+ hours over the period of like four days. I don't think I'm an actual normal human anymore. This is the project that caused everyone in my life to question my mental and physical wellbeing and health. But I'm super excited to share this all of you!!!! Please enjoy!!!! Even if you don't like vettonso, I hope this is still interesting????

If you make any, please reblog this or tag me in it! I'm excited to see what other people, other than just me suffering alone in my bedroom, make out of this!!! <3

#jesus christ i cant believe i actually made this 😭😭 #originally earlier last week i was like ahhh i wanna draw more of them in different eras(like the timeswap au) #and then randomly wanted to draw every single racesuit(nightmare) #and then im like WAIT I CAN MAKE A PICREW OUT OF THIS #no joke when i say i dont think i was a human this weekend #it was truly: eat. sleep. draw. eat. draw. sleep. draw. eat. draw. draw. sleep. #the screentime count on my ipad is soooooo fucking bad im ashamed dhfjfkkg #i dont think picrews are meant to be made in the span of a weekend #*weakly* i did it~ #again as i said in the description. please request if you want anything added!!! #i dont know if ill get to it immediately bcs i just spent 30+ hours psychologically torturing myself #i actually feel so ill JSJFKGLGLG but im happy w it and i wouldnt have gone back and changed any of the process #tho the evolution of 'im having so much fun' to groaning every time i opened up my ipad again was so funny #thank you so much to suzuki i could have never have done this without your support and encouragement 🥹🥹 #hoping this picrew works as a blood sacrifice to the good health and wellbeing of the amr24. the car that is launching today! #also istg i am going to dm shill and self reblog this with no shame. it is my magnum opus(as of now) #now i am going to sleep and not touch my ipad for a while djfkkglg #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #catie.art. #vettonso #normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion

[todayisafridaynight]

hi

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza series #yakuza 7 #yakuza like a dragon #masato arakawa #ryo aoki #snap sketches #god (obs) wouldnt let me finish drawing this on stream WHATEVER I DONT CARE <- i care immensely #and people say i dont draw masato anymore WHATS THIS THEN <- no one has ever said i dont draw masato anymore #every time i go to hot topic i see this cute studious-lookin top and that's the inspo for this drawing today #the pants are Also based off of pants from hot topic except those pants are pink and have straps #every time i think of someone saying 'he looks like he'd be shoved into a locker' i laugh because like #1.) true 2.) i love how we all lowkey forget he DID get shoved into a locker ☠️☠️☠️☠️ #LIKE IT'S JUST SOMETHING YOU LOWKEY FORGET AND THEN YOU'RE LIKE 'OH NO WAIT THAT DID HAPPEN' #funny as hell it makes me laugh every time and my lungs explode #ok im going for a walk now bye

[bericas]

I don’t know anything. But you feel something, don’t you?

#twedit #allydiaedit #allydia #teen wolf the movie #teen wolf movie spoilers #and then 4 my tags #allison argent #lydia martin #tw movie #OKAY LIKE. #im not saying this was actual foreshadowing obviousl #but the idea. of like. fledgling baby banshee lydia martin. feeling her best friend out there. and thinking its just her soul #thinking its her memory and her heart and allison wouldnt leave them even if she was gone because she knows allison. she knows she couldnt #but what shes actually feeling is her BEST FRIEND OUT THERE ALIVE #its CRAZYYYYYYYYYY #the quote in the caption is just from lunar ellipse where theyre talking about how she can sense death #i thought it fit the vibe #im gonna make a v similar/slightly diff allydia set tomorrow #so excited #maybe later but idk if i have time today we'll SEE #but yeah idk i dont think theyre gonna explore it but i think its so crazy like #the guilt lydia might feel #that the whole time she FELT allison #she couldve HELPED her couldve SAVED her #but she didnt know she could #i mean assuming allison was actually alive the whole time btu idk how else theyd do it considering theyre obv going scallison endgame #and scotts in his 30s and allison died at 17. u cant resurrect him a child bride #LMAOOOO WHAT IF THEY DO ELI ALLISON ENDGAME FGKJSHFDKH #WITH 37 YEAR OLD CRYSTAL REED #that would be sofunny

[rabbit-rays]

id in alt

i see god come in my garden, but i don't know what he said

for my heart it wasn't open.

#kingdom hearts #kh #kingdom hearts birth by sleep #birth by sleep #terra #terra kingdom hearts #i considered doing a second panel for this or even all 4 of the lyrics #but i like this single page SO much and wouldnt have been able to match it #and i have so many other ideas i wanna get to. so just a terra morsel for today!!! #i only ever make art w song lyrics because . i heart music #EDIT LOL I FORGT THE ID IN ALT TEXT??? AM I STUPID.

[kohakhearts]

theres a really. special kind of despair in the uncertainty brought about by moments of success and achievement. the inevitable “what now” of reaching your goals. and i kind of wish someone had warned me how hollow graduating university would feel, tbh

#taylor.txt #im miserable primarily for other reasons right now but i dont think i appreciated how much this just…wouldnt feel like anything #i think especially in my case as someone who so desperately needed ‘going away to college’ to get out of my childhood situation #and now for the past 5 years everything ive done has been for the purpose of getting my degree and finishing school #like im fine i guess i just kind of wish i could feel proud of myself or happy its over instead of like dreading the ceremony and feeling #like everything i have to do for grad is just one more thing i have to check off a list. getting my grad photos done felt nice but idk #it kind of feels like no one really cares which. idk why i would expect it to NOT feel that way. but yeah #tl;dr im around Kinda…need to finish stuff up but im over the really busy part of this all. kinda just coasting to the end here tbh #when this is over i’m gonna get to my request fics. prommy. wanted to do them over the long weekend but i was sick :( #anyway like to be clear im fine. people have been pointing out today i seem down and i think embarrassingly a collection of my students #noticed me crying on the bus today but thats life i guess you make do. im sad and thats ok. tbh

[simcardiac-arrested]

#i wouldnt usually care about stuff like this. but every month or so i get two or three asks like this and i just got one earlier today #and look. i’m not saying u can’t hate ns or dislike them. feel free to send me asks that are like ‘ns you are stupid and you suck and i hate #you’ he IS stupid and he DOES suck and he is quite hateable. that’s fine #it’s just when you start sending me wholeass paragraphs explaining every single detail you hate about ns and how they deserve a slow and #painful death that i think two things: 1. you are finite waves reincarnated 2. you are weird! and strange even! #what are you on about! ns absolutely does NOT deserve a slow and painful death! and you absolutely do Not have to be so hostile and #aggressive towards them as a character! like Please relax. we serve bullshit here sir #most anti-ns asks i get are funny and are light hearted because it’s just people messing with ns on purpose or mocking him and making him #mad because he easily gets mad and it’s funny. Like those asks are fine. it’s another deal entirely when you send me this detailed and— #honestly—really mean message. I guess i am not surprised considering how similar ns and pebbles are in terms of personality #(and circumstances somewhat) and we all know how the fandom treats pebbles. even worse than ns. but yeah anyway #they are not an irredeemable unforgivable monster and they do not deserve to die. Hope this helps #to me even calling them a Bad Person is kind of a stretch. let alone the shit some of you are saying about them #we have to get normal about mentally ill and traumatized and autistic characters gang! #crammerposting #i also do not appreciate when people insuniate that ns is stupid for overworking himself and damaging his structure and so on and so forth #yes it is his fault but that didn’t mean he deserved what he had coming to him or anything like that. be nice to him

[yourcalamity]

finding good protein bars helps but its sooo hard to eat lately without feeling like i am literally shoving styrofoam into my body or pouring paint in my throat food is not food to me right now

#also i think my boss already noticed bc he gave us all a snack today… #or hes just nice #i remember at my jewelry store job tho they would literally be like can we buy you lunch dude #can we take you to our house and make you a home cooked meal with a fancy dessert and whatever snacks you want #and id be like no its ok im safe with the chocolate covered blueberries and starbursts actually #tbf that was after i was having palpitations at the register so bad the customer i was ringing up thought i was going to faint 😅 #also having less of a workload makes it easier to forget cus when i was machining if i forgot to eat i was genuinely putting myself and my #coworkers in danger. that shit was so rigorous if i didnt have a lunch i wouldnt be able to carry the equipment even

[mysteryposter]

if i did like an "ask my ocs" thing would anyone actually participate because for some reason i am feeling incredibly 2016 today........ .................. ....... ...... if you even care.....

#i would link my toyhouse n shit so that you can get their names and more info LMAO #idk this is cringe #but im feeling cringe today #it's definitely not because an ask blog liked one of my posts yesterday #and that reminded me of howi wanted to make an askblog so bad in middle school #it wouldnt be a whole ass new blog i would just make a post

[hella1975]

just full force threw a shoe at my sister's face and when my mum got me alone after she was like 'you shouldn't clobber her. but i get it' 😭

#it kicked off today but in my defence she's actually proper in the wrong this time even my DAD called her a bitch and my mum is FUMING #baso my sister came into my work with her mate when i was closing the other day and all the staff GLARED at them bc of aforementioned #close so i was being v chill so everyone 1) knew it was my sister and not some customer coming in late and 2) her friend wouldnt be uncomfy #like that's the real kicker her i was being extra laid back FOR her friend so he'd feel more at ease. and one thing about me is yes ive #said countless times i have a rural accent but my mum also raised me to know when and how to speak nice if need be bc people are cunts here #so when im waitressing i speak nicely bc it's a stuck up restaurant w stuck up customers but when im with my sister? making a point of #being laid back? my normal accent came through. and her mate when i was gone said i sounded 'really [from the county we live in]' #which WOULD NOT BE A COMPLIMENT. it's baso saying 'your sister sounds local and chavy' without using such explosive words #and my sister LET HIM SAY IT. SHE DIDNT DEFEND ME. and she told my mum about it later bc SHE THOUGHT SHE'D TELL ME OFF #LIKE SHE DID IT TO SNITCH. THERE WAS NO SCENARIO WHERE MY SISTER WASNT BEING A CUNT. and my mum hit the ROOF #one thing she's rlly been big on is loyalty bc it's always been the 3 of us so when she found out my sister let him say that she FLIPPED #and this all happened last night and i only found out this morning bc i overheard them screaming at each other and turns out my mum #tried to keep it from me bc she didnt want my feelings hurt and IM pissed bc it actually did hurt more than i thought it would #like i KNOW what people say about my accent but it's a guy i know? my sister's been friends w him for years? i was being nice? #it's EMBARRASSING like i was clueless & friendly and turned around for him to be like 'look at this stupid local girl' like?? #and my sister did NOTHING? it just sucks so i STORMED upstairs when i found out and had it out with my sister #and she knew she was fucked so she did all 'im not talking to you i have nothing to say' AND PUT HER EARPHONES IN? #the way i RIPPED them out. got in her face like okay girl u think i sound like a chav ill act like a chav lets GO #and it just got really aggressive and i wound up grabbing HER OWN SANDAL and full force hurling it at her face 😭 oops #from close range too like i was already in her face so i basically just smacked her with a sandal DSHGJKSH #now we're sat in silence bc alas we still share a room. WHAT the fuck. insane tbh but it's a bit funny. im so angry rn i could KILL #hella goes home

[skitskatdacat63]

Girls when it's finals week and instead of working on their mountain of coursework, they spend 5 hours researching and writing a fandom post....

#hehehe anyways expect a long post in 5 hours!!!! #was a lot of fun to make #but it was funny bcs i wrote a to-do list for school and it was generally A LOT #and a lot of writing assignments tl boot! yknow that thing that hurts my brain? #so i wrote all that out saw in print the amnt of work i have to do and went: hmm time to go research that post ig! #i didnt expect it to take so long is the issue.... #im like ah ill write this and then try to do some hw. and suddenly its 5 am ;;;; #not mad really. i just wish my brain wouldnt take important deadlines as a sudden incentive to be creative #BUT the important thing is that i had a lot of fun making it #and i hope you guys will have a lot of fun reading it 🤭 #its basically the spiritual successor to the chair lore post btw #also my god i slammed the fuck out of my knuckle today while playing pool #<- so thats certainly a lot of fun when you have to type a lot but your finger is bruised :< #catie.rambling.txt

[milkweedman]

Oh to have a schedule thats just 'sleep on a wool blanket... maybe sneeze a little'

#my brain's doing that thing where i desperately need stimulation but nothing is Correct #i was working on turning the hell of this sock for a while but thats like a thing to keep my hands busy #and doesnt help at all with needing stimulation #might make some batts today just for something to do #its a little more tactile at least. augh. #i miss being on adderall. this shit never happened when i was actually medicated #its honestly pretty weird to have had the experience of being properly medicated and then lose it #chilhood before being diagnosed: i am so stupid and something is deeply wrong with me and i will never be normal and i want to die #childhood after being diagnosed and having access to adderall: oh my god i can do things ? and i dont feel awful ?? #the whole rest of my life after that: *seconds away from gnawing my arm off* if i were medicated this wouldnt be happening #anyway. blegh. #cats

[berenshand]

i want to say the wildest thing about wish is that disney fully funded and released a movie where the bad guy could basically be a metaphor for the disney company. but it's even wilder because they funded and released it as their celebratory 'we're 100 years old and we're soooo great' movie. and what's even wilder than that is that their 'we're 100 years old and we're so great movie', which features a bad guy who is basically a metaphor for their company, was a flop

#i saw it today! as critical as i am of disney as a company i do really love their animated movies #HOWEVER #I was dubious going into this bc it was so universally hated but like..... its really not that bad? #its not amazing either. like its no tangled or beauty and the beast or anything. #but ppl r out here saying its disney worst movie like theyve never seen home on the range or chicken little. #also lots of ppl doing very poor analysis of a film that is really not that deep or layered tbqh #also lots of ppl being just straight up racist! you can critique a movie and its main character without being racist. it IS possible u know #anyway im rambling but this whole thing is just so funny to me #also ftr though im not sure the movie itself deserves all the hate its gotten i do think it is time for disney to fall from grace #im sorry it happened with a movie that doesnt totally deserve it but if their 100 year celebration movie being panned #doesnt force them to make good movies again then nothing will. 🤷🏼 #i also wouldnt cry if they died as a company but i think thats really unlikely. #so if theyre going to keep existing the least they can do is make good movies.

[songofsunset]

I would like to thank tumblr for a decade worth of 'heres what you do in an emergency' posts, because just now on my way home I watched a cyclist wipeout into a ditch, and I was able to successfully call 911 and get him help and everything happened basically as correctly as it could

#i have his bike on my porch and i scribbled my contact info on a cvs receipt and tucked it in his backpack #(and told him where i was putting it) #so now I just have to make sure it gets back to him. presumably this wont be for a day or two idk. but yes #i definitely wouldnt have known remotely what I was doing wouthout all those step by step posts with advice #so i appreciate it and theres a kid who got better help today than he would have #my only regrets are that a) i was tired and nearly drove past without asking if he needed help and YES HE VERY MUCH NEEDED HELP #and b) i should have asked his name right away while i was helping instead of after the 911 call but thats fine i did ask it after #lori chat #im like 'im fine?' but also i can feel my body having a stress response around me so like i will take this one step at a time lmao

[elegyofthemoon]

some work stuff thats been on loop in my head all week

so i think most of this week minus today, i've sorta accepted that i'm just riding a dying dream. that's mostly why everything feels very unreal these days just bc i wanted to distance myself from it i think. that at the end of this, i'll just fail again and then i'll fail out and that'll be it for me and i'll somehow magically pick up the pieces and sort my life out in some different way with the numerous backup plans i have saved for myself

but i'm still on top of stuff. i'm doing what i'm supposed to, even if it's kinda painful to do thinking that all this effort will amount to nothing in the end.

i get asked to review a new patient who came in the night prior to present to the other doctors, and i go and do that. i get to know the patient and try to figure out whats going on. i go and do my physical exam and all that, and at the end, when im trying to wrap things up, she stops me just to say "you're such a sweet and kind doctor. the other ones are so abrupt and dont listen to me"

i had to just kinda smile bittersweetly at that bc thats really all i want to be. i just want to take care of my patients and make sure they get the best help they can. i want to, but im no good medical student.

i thanked her again and left to go present the patient accordingly. the whole moment still sits with me a lot though and i just sorta play it on loop.

by character, i'm very much a caretaker. i love taking care of people and its always at the risk of overdoing myself - something i'm working on. if i could i'd do anything to keep up with this dream so that i can better help everyone. but i still find myself at a loss. i'm by no means smart. i just want to help however way i can, and if that means being in this position to do so, then i'm happy for it.

it just makes me sad because i'll meet the worst medical students - my peers - and i question and wonder and worry about the people who would fall into their care. i'm not saying i deserve their position. i understand i'm not smart enough to be where i am. heck, im even surprised i even got where i am tbh albeit i am also failing severely now lmao but it's just... it makes me sad that the smart people i meet are always so awful

at the very least, that moment with the patient was nice even if its bittersweet. it at least means that i was already where i kinda wanted to be as a person. i want to be there. and i want to take care of others because i care.

#i didnt know who to talk to #everyones offline which is fair bc its like near new years and all that so #here. #work logs #i promise after this though ill stop posting about all this nonsense #im just in a really weird state orz #i think after today though things will be happier #its mostly bc of my friend (i really have to thank both of them) #my friends are so nice and it was nice to just hang out again after so long theyre so cute when theyre being nice LMAO #both of them are very talkative which makes up for my Lack Of Talking #ill at least say this #i probably wouldnt be such an open person if it werent for the people i met at school #they say certain personalities gravitate to a certain profession and youre right! #i think all the people ive met their personalities kinda click w me and its honestly nice askdjafh #all my friends from school were the most supportive people ever and its like the first time ive actually stepped out of my little bubble #(i had some friends in undergrad but i spent majority of it alone tbh which also wasnt bad it just meant i worked on myself more) #but yeah #lets say this: even if everything just falls apart and we end everything with a bang #ill be happy with the journey anyways for the people i got to meet along the way #snow speaks

[skunkes]

i think about that person who said they like the way i draw knees every time i draw knees

#talkys #im gonna keep talking here so i dont make another text post hi #i bought some alcohol based markers and immediately regretted it but im still excited #i was in need of retail therapy i guess. havent had packages arriving in a while #tmi coming up -> finally also bought pink and cow print jock i'd been eyeing for months #if it gets here on time i might wear it with the cowboy ken outfit to the barbie movey #(if the cowboy ken outfit even happens) #i need to earn sum money and am opening comms today but ive been doing really bad #i keep sleeping fine but waking up with headache and tired no matter what #last night i tried so many times to draw talon for a redraw and it wouldnt work #and my wrist started hurting after like 10 mins #i thought taking a break from art was supposed to help. i just feel like ass. i feel horrible in every direction. #waugh #feel bad about art feel bad about gender feel bad physically feel bad about my life and future. feel bad about. lonely. i just feel bad.