#i just log in every now and again and then deactivate | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sarahivess · 11 months

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WARNING: LONG RANT AND EXPLANATION

I feel like I have to stand up for myself now when I’ve seen the way some of the people in this fandom have been spreading rumors about me on Twitter.

I’m going to take this from the beginning.

In November, I was kinda new on Twitter. I remember seeing a tweet in my feed, it said “Let Robin say lesbian in season 5” and to me, who lives in Sweden, the word lesbian isn’t a very “bad” word. It’s actually a very common and normal word here, and we have a bunch of movies and tv-shows when lesbian girls and women simply say: I’m lesbian! So to me, I had NO IDEA that in the US, it’s seen as a “bad” word and that’s why the fans wanted her to verbally say it. I totally get that now, but I wasn’t aware back then. Silly me then made a comment, because a very cute and funny little moment popped up in my head and I felt like: AH I need to write this. It was something along with:

“Or gay, because imagine how cute it would be if Will came out as gay, and Robin would say “I’m gay too”, and then a stunned Dustin (or someone) would say “Okay, so while we’re at it - does anyone else want to come out of the closet?” And then Mike slowly raises his hand.”

I didn’t think much more about it, and the next time I logged into Twitter I had gotten like 50 qrts with: LOADS of death threats, gifs with people murdering people, people calling me lesbophobe, people mocking my grammar, my age, people saying weird things to me about Will etc. I was in such shock, I deleted the tweet right away and had a panic attack. What the hell just happened? How did that made me a lesbophobe? I’m bisexual myself, and I LOVE lesbians. I have also a bunch of wlw ships that I love. But all that shit just because I didn’t know that the word lesbian was very uncommon for americans to say in American media and how they wanted to change that.

Anyways, I deactivated my Twitter because all these horrible rumors about me triggered my suicidal thoughts (I suffer from depression), I made a new one and people figured me out right away so I changed alias and pfp/header but people still figured out it was me.

I blocked every single toxic person I came across, a few months passed and one day I was on Twitter again. This time, it was about an analysis of a scene in Stranger Things. Me and an iconic Byler here on tumblr were analysing the scene when everyone says goodbye at the end of season 3. First, Mike looked uncomfortable af when El kissed him, and later on he looked uncomfortable when she was close to him, hugging and touching and making a forehead touch. In one of the gifs, to ME it looked like the hand movement from El was kinda harsh when they made that forehead touch and I just couldn’t understand how people thought it was cute. It was a personal opinion and just a harmless analysis. Both me and this other person were also saying “Nothing against El though, she’s a kid, but I guess if the roles were reversed - if Mike would be the one to kiss El with her not kissing back, with open eyes, looking uncomfortable and shocked, I guess people would have accused him for SA or something. Not that we did, but we know that it would look a lot more bad if Mike was the one who kissed her and not vice versa simply because of the statistics. WE NEVER ACCUSED EL FOR SA. We both love her and she’s my favorite female character in the show. I just don’t like the SHIP Mlvn and I didn’t get how people thought that scene was cute. It was simply an analysis, nothing more. Not an accusation. Not a hate post. That post had over 200 likes and LOADS of reblogs with people who thought the same. But still only me and my friend were attacked. That also lead to ANOTHER accusation: of me being antisemitic. Why?

In year 2006, I first started my YouTube channel. I was very interested in learning how to edit, so thanks to tutorials I learned by myself how to edit. I was 14 years old when I read Anne Frank’s diary for the first time and I saw so much of myself in her. I also loved the way she described her relationship with Peter in the diary, so I watched “Anne Frank: The Whole Story” from 2001 and thanks to my family I could get that movie on my computer so I could make tribute videos of her since she inspired me so much, to never give up on my dreams and to ALWAYS follow my heart and believe that every person is truly good at heart. I made my own trailer for the movie, because there was none to be found on YouTube. My edits became very popular for being back in 2007, and soon loads of people found them. 90% was so happy I made these tributes, that I let the memory of her and all the people who tragically was murdered by the nazi’s back in the 30/40’s live on. But there was also a bunch of REAL antisemitics who called Anne a bunch of horrible stuff in the comments, people who claimed the holocaust never happened etc and I was defending her and the other victims for dear life. I was so proud of my edits, like I said: I was 14 years old and she was my biggest inspiration. My parents also watched these and they didn’t think they were problematic in any way so of course I trusted them and their moral.

And yes, I also made two tribute edits of her and Peter (I didn’t even knew about the term “shipping” back then) but this person on Twitter said I was making “ship edits” about Anne Frank. I have made all of my old videos private now, mostly because of the bad quality but also because of this person who now made me embarrassed of them instead. I wouldn’t make these edits today. Here’s a glimpse of one of them:

Is this antisemitic in any way?

Anyways, because of this person + a lot of others, this made me and my friend to eventually deactivate our tumblr accounts. I hade SO much going on in my personal life back then too, so this was just too much. They found out things about my family situation and that made me freak out, I was threatening them with the cops just because they were attacking and stalking me and my family on a personal level. They were harassing me on TikTok. On DM. On Twitter. People were leaving me and I felt like shit. Luckily there was a bunch who still were standing by my side through all of this and I am SO grateful for you all. Never forget that, you guys made me come back here.

Also, now when one of my tweets became popular on Twitter, of COURSE these people found me and started spreading these rumors again. I found that out from some of my friends here, sending me ss.

I just can’t fucking believe these people. All because of a silly little tweet which ended up in a total DISASTER.

End of rant. I hope at lease some of you understand.

#angelwithnightmares #byler blog #priv rants

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unladielike · 16 days

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So since it has been brought to my attention some rumours have been circulating about me, I just wanna make a few things clear.

First off, I did not supposedly stalk anyone's blog for years.

If need be, I can even provide my IP address (aka self-dox myself) to prove any screencaps to be false, but I'm nowhere near obsessive enough to check somebody's blog everyday. Like, sure, I might visit blogs of ex-mutuals every once in a blue moon out of curiosity, but contrary to popular belief, tumblr doesn't take up 90% of my time and at best, I would maybe lurk on COAR to read new confessions or refresh my dash once per day just in case non-active partners of mine have returned.

If anything, my time has been mostly comprised of going to work and grinding mobile gachas; in fact, should I notice I have replies to write, I will log in, throw my replies into the queue/save written replies in my drafts folder to queue later, and then fuck off to do other stuff. Honestly, provided someone has beef with me, it's unlikely I would know why unless my encounter with them on tumblr had been rather recent.

To my knowledge, I haven't harassed anyone off of tumblr.

Now, did I have spats with my own fair share of people over the eight or nine years I have been on this hellsite? Yes. Have I made vague posts about ex-mutuals, unintentionally ghosted others, privately vented to friends about people from the RPC I personally can't stand, and commented on COAR confessions? Also, yes.

But that being said, the only one I've ever sent anon hate to was myself and if I played a part in somebody deactivating their blog or quitting tumblr roleplay altogether, then that's certainly news to me, because I don't like participating in public smear campaigns, to the point where I even avoid name dropping certain users in my rules or PSAs I've made. Heck, the way I see it, I can only ever recall myself being relentlessly harassed/bullied, because when it comes to me for some reason, people on this site sadly don't know how to block and move on like normal people.

I also have never encouraged anyone to delete their blogs or chase them out of the RPC and have only ever reported one person due to the fact they would not stop posting about me/attempt to provoke me into engaging in drama on a site that we both frequent despite having me blocked; therefore, I have no idea where the narrative of me harassing people off of tumblr even comes from. Besides, I'm nowhere near popular enough to influence whatever following I have to dog pile on whoever I have grievances with, let alone have many people who would go to bat for me each time I'm being unfairly criticized. Honestly, the one time someone did call out my harasser, it was something I had no control over and they did so without my permission, to the point where I did privately tell them to stop url-dropping me and engaging with this person on my behalf... because again, I just wanted to be left alone.

Furthermore, I make it very clear to mutuals I've vented to that they don't have to unfollow/block roleplayers I've had bad experiences with... so I'm not sure if this is merely a case of the Mandela Effect rearing it's ugly head, individuals making up bad faith reasons to dislike me, or an issue of mistaken identity (especially since I'm likely not the only one who goes by the mun handle, 'Livi', and it has happened before where somebody had wrongly assumed a blog belonged to another person).

Of course, it's possible I could have forgotten stuff, as I have had more than three blogs over the years, so naturally, I won't remember all the OOC posts I have ever shared, let alone every instance before 2022 where I have been involved in drama... but regardless, I refuse to take accountability for things I have never done unless you personally come to me off anon with screenshots that provide evidence.

#drama tw #⸾ ❖︎ ⸾ ( OUT OF ) ⤹ •• 𝕗𝕒𝕟𝕗𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟.#║▌ ⧼ ⸢ ʚɞ ⸣︳p̲u̲b̲l̲i̲c̲ ̲s̲e̲r̲v̲i̲c̲e̲ ̲a̲n̲n̲o̲u̲n̲c̲e̲m̲e̲n̲t̲. ⧽ ― THIS SHOULD COME WITH SUBTITLES IN REAL LIFE.#[ the rest of this post is hidden underneath a read more in case people would prefer to scroll past ooc posts revolving around drama ]#[ BUT HONESTLY Y'ALL... i'm tired and just wish people would talk to me if they have an issue instead of keeping tabs on my blogs ]#[ and thinking i somehow wouldn't notice if they vagued about me especially after passive aggressively responding to almost all my takes ]#[ on a public platform where everyone could see ]#[ and mind you... this isn't me 'playing the victim' or 'virtue signalling' for my brain genuinely draws a blank whenever i attempt to ]#[ recall things i've been FALSELY accused of so i'm inclined to believe i did nothing wrong ]#[ still anyone who thinks otherwise IS welcome to change my mind as i am open to discussion! ]

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2dfd-simp · 8 months

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This Blog Is Now Dead

FYI: This is a semi rant.

TLDR - I won’t be active on this blog anymore

I’ve only been back on Tumblr for a couple of months. And already I’m remembering why I fucking hate it. For a multitude of reasons.

1) Every single type of media allows for explicit material. It’s about managing who sees it. The internet made it even more accessible then ever before. And yet Tumblr removes so many posts that the censorship becomes more obscene than the material that’s being censored. And having over 10 blogs deactivated it gets tedious starting again from scratch. Fuck Tumblr.

2) I’m here to goon to the amazing content that gets posted on here. That’s all I want to do. I enjoy gooning (obviously) but this blog is just getting full of shit to the point it feels like a chore. Gooning while getting shitted on isnt wxactky what I’m after unless that’s literal rather then metaphorical. Incase it’s not obvious I’m submissive. I’m a beta loser and well aware of it. I’m not even a switch and the rare times I do do it I don’t enjoy it. I do however enjoy encouraging each other to be worse. There is a line though between making each other worse and just trying to get domme’d for free. If you just want to be dominated pay a femdom. Guess what? You have to pay for literally every other service out there too, even ones essential to living such as water and food. The amount of people on here trying to use reverse psychology to get me to domme then is insulting. The fact you think you’re being clever is even worse. Fuck You. And this bit is to one specific guy who has messaged me over and over asking to be controlled and then saying his wife is his Mistress and that I’m a loser for not controlling him and his wife thinks the same. Firstly, here’s a secret about me. I’m a sociopath. Genuinely. What does this mean to you? It means I don’t care what you or your “wife” think about me. Your strangers. I don’t have empathy towards people I do k ow and have to fake it. I certainly am not going lose sleep over what you are what is probably the nickname for your hand think of me. Secondly if you had a wife who was your mistress you wouldn’t be asking for others to control you over and fucking over again. Because you already have a Mistress. It’s not Pokémon. You don’t need to find and collect every person to domme you, you only need one and apparently you’re married to one. Fuck you and your bullshit

3) Fucking exposure. People who have known me across multiple blogs will know I’ve done exposure captions or invaded your privacy with your consent etc, starting back years ago from when I met x-loservirgin-x. When I’ve done things like log into your Facebook etc I’ve only ever done what was agreed same as with people who have done the same with mine. Today has been the second time I’ve been interrogated because somethings been found out about someone. As mentioned above, I’m here to jerk off and goon. If you want exposure then be prepared for the risks that come with it and when you talk to multiple people about it. I’ve seen posts about both people on other sites and captions I’ve made saved and posted on other sites too. I can’t control that. Being hassled over the consequences because you didn’t think it through is t exactly what I’m here for so from now on I won’t be doing exposure at all. It’s not worth the fallout. Also aimed at one person: if what you did to your sister is true then you deserve anything that happens. Anyway. Fuck Exposure.

4) Fucking Findom. As soon as my pinned post was about paying money to a girl with screenshots showing it had happened i’m suddenly flooded with Findoms messaging. Sorry but I shut most of you down. Would you want your betas giving money to another Findom? And I would guess half of these “Findoms” don’t even have any losers paying them to begin with as they’re nothing but scam artists. There was one other Findom. I did pay because my biggest fetish is Asian Supremacy and @reigntina is amazing as fuck but that was only a small one, and I apologise. Please dont take my non reply the wrong way, my best friend was a Findom before…welll long story. Anyway, I fucking hate free loaders with a passson. And the fact I had only sent a small gift meant I didn’t want to waste your time as I felt like a free loser myself. Anyway, if anyone does want a Findom I seriously suggest you visit (and pay) her. And as for the guy who wanted a small tribute and I said I would on payday and then you kept nagging and using reverse psychology on me, go fuck yourself.

4) You know who you are. Yes I love to be made a worse person and corrupted. Yes, I’ve jerked to non-nude social media pics of 15yo before. But holy fuck. The amount of people “encouraging” me to find pre teen? No. I’m not searching on my IP for it, I’m not saving it, I’m not sharing it. That’s not corrupting me to be worse, that’s you getting me to do your dirty work for you. Most certainly fuck you.

So yeah. Between fake Findoms and others telling me to send, people regretting choices and being asked for stuff that I’m not doing I’m not having fun any more in this blog. I won’t deactivate it as there’s posts on here you isn’t enjoy, and I know people like to goon looking back on messages and I’ve made about 10 AI chatbots which can only be accessed via links I sent in private message so I don’t want you to lose them, but I’m done on here. But I do love Tumblr despite the hate. So I’m starting a new blog. No I won’t share it in here as I’m burning ducking bridges. If you find me you’re more than welcome to follow me, I know people always do in the end. And despite the frustration and amount of fucks being given out, I do enjoy chatting and not just about gooning etc. I’ve talked to others about Sword Art Online, Destiny etc as well as the girl I saw in the street and I rushed home to jerk off to. But I’d I get the inking it’s gonna become one of the things that’s pissed me off about this blog, I will just block you going forward. I’m here to goon and be as pathetic as possible. The only frustration I want is from not cumming.

Namaste

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agustdiv1ne · 9 months

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hey ashlee it's ada here :(( unfortunately i am just as confused at what happened as you are. i woke up today to sign in on my usual email, and what was confusing was the fact that it took me to the normal tumblr page. so i do what i first think of, and i x-ed out of the incognito window and opened a new one to log in!!! which didn't work either, but my wattpad worked with the same email... and when i open discord to two people telling me they can't see my blog, then i start freaking out. i made this account just to see if i could look up my old account. nope!! and so now im in tears because there were 1k words of berry sorbet i didn't have saved, im not sure if i had ANY of see if i can help~? saved, and that's just my drafts. i only had my original thoughts on my phone because that's where i wrote them. most of my long fics i have, but then there's also the fact that i had fucking 1,060 followers and i worked so fucking hard for this, ashlee. i've cried so fucking much, the anxiety about my writing either after i've published it or during my writing, all my fucking dms are gone, and i really had no idea who to reach out first to with all this. i have no idea what i could've done. the only possible things i can think of is a. i was posting too much yesterday???? not a thing. OR b. one person was liking almost every single one of my posts so much? like is spam liking something that gets your account removed???? and it's in the worst way too, it's not even deactivated so people can see my shit, like i don't even think any of my posts at all are still visible. i can TRY looking up my tags to see but i really don't think they would be.

im really, really mad about this. like i don't even know what to fucking do at this point.

omg ada :( i'm so sorry that this has happened to you, and i completely understand your frustration bc i know how hard you've worked to build your blog

ik that this isn't the first time tumblr has suspended an account out of the blue, so i would first contact tumblr support and see if they can help. however, they're pretty inconsistent with their responses, so i did a little digging and found this reddit post of an actual tumblr staff that has outlined some other ways of getting in contact with tumblr via other sites. this user has even helped reinstate other ppl's accounts (the last time they did it was 2 days ago, so thankfully they're still active) — i'd def try here, too

i truly hope that you're able to access your blog again :(( if you need anything please don't hesitate to dm me ♡

#i hope tumblr chokes honestly #you don't deserve this at all #ada ⭐️#moots!#banggyu0308 asks #asks

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ailendolin · 1 year

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I have been watching ST Prodigy and can't get this idea for a BBC Ghosts Star Trek AU out of my head where the ghosts are holograms on an old, rundown ship Alison and Mike find drifting in space.

More thoughts on that under the cut:

the ship is an old training vessel for cadets that has been damaged in a battle and abandoned a long time ago

the holograms all represent different departments within the Federation: the Captain represents security, Fanny science, Thomas linguistics, Pat diplomacy, Julian command (though everyone secretly agrees that Fanny is more suited for the job), Robin tactics, Humphrey operations, Kitty morale, Annie flight control, Mary medicine and the Plague Ghosts engineering

some of the holograms have glitches, most obvious in Humphrey who's sometimes just a floating head without a body and sometimes just a body without a head (and sometimes both in different places at once) and Mary who panics every time she has to treat phaser burns, insisting she can smell them

none of them can interact with the physical world outside of their respective stations though Julian keeps on trying to

Thomas's programming got messed up when Cadet Francis Button thought it would be fun to put him in a holodeck scenario he couldn't win - his own Kobayashi Maru, so to speak - and see how long it would take him to break. None of the other holograms know how often he died in the duel scenario Francis programmed before the Captain put an end to it but they know it irreversibly changed him and made him unfit for combat situations

the former crew also messed with the original engineering hologram. Someone wasn't happy with it being a woman (Jean), so they duplicated and changed her. Unsatisfied with the attitude of the male counterpart they created (Walter), they made another one and then another one until the engine room was filled with a dozen holograms carrying a piece of the knowledge of the original that couldn't be pieced back together into one single hologram

Robin's speech programming was rough from the beginning on. He was one of the first hologram ever, a prototype, and got damaged during an attempted hostile takeover. The engineers did their best to help him but their own glitchy programming prevented them from accessing his code so Robin has been left struggling to communicate

Alison and Mike aren't too happy about sharing their ship with a bunch of weird holograms at first, especially when they realise the ship doesn't allow them to deactivate them

(finding the hologram of a little girl that isn't listed anywhere in the logs hiding in the vents around the holodeck and singing creepily to herself doesn't really help)

over time the holograms grow on them, though. They help them restore power and get the ship maneuverable again, make sure Alison and Mike know what they're doing and teach them all they know about the Federation and operation of a Starfleet vessel

with Alison and Mike's help, the holograms grow beyond their programming. Robin's speech improves, Humphrey's head and body are seen together more often, the Captain relaxes a little about possible intruders ...

eventually, Alison and Mike build them their own portable transmitters that allow the holograms to go wherever they please, both on and off the ship

Pat, realising they can now touch things, suggests they teach each other their respective tools of the trade. Mary learns how to fly, Robin spends hours in the lab with Fanny learning about the stars, the engineers are keen on learning about history and languages, Humphrey manages to coax Jemima out of the vents and so on

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I just really, really like the idea of the ghosts as holograms that evolve past their programming and become part of the world around them again because two chaotic humans happened upon their ship in the middle of nowhere and decided to give them a chance.

#I feel like this could be a series of one shots just like the NatM AU #not sure if I actually want to write this or if there'd even be interest in this AU but I needed to get the idea out of my head #bbc ghosts #mp bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts star trek au

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swanimagines · 6 months

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hi jenni! thank you so much for all of your writing, it's so good! i would love it if i could please get a romantic self ship for a drabble or oneshot, whatever your preference, with cato from the hunger games?

my name is lisa and i go by she/her pronouns! i have medium brown hair that goes a little bit past my shoulders, light brown eyes, and dark eyelashes. i am an entj because i get very focused on school/making sure i put 100% into any task in front of me. i paint, draw, spend a lot of time outdoors, write, and am social on varying degrees- i talk too much with people i know but not a whole lot with strangers. i think i'd consider myself to be ambitious, too. i pride myself on getting to know people well enough that i know how to phrase the smallest sentence so that it'll make them laugh.

a few things i cannot stand: people who send me writing requests with literally nothing to go off of (your remark about people sometimes treating writers like a machine is so on point!), slow walkers, people who litter, and arugula. why is it in salads there's no point??

ok i think that was a little too much lol but i can't wait!! thank you again! 🥰

(Ships are closed and it's unlikely I will ever do them again especially now when I'm no longer a Tumblr writer, this event was held only for my friends in December 2021)

I read this over a few times during writing (SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG ARGH, I'm finally doing these as I'm preparing to wrap things up) and ALWAYS read "arugula" as "tarantula" and I was where the fuck do you live if tarantula salads are a common thing 😅 But I've heard many people don't like it, there's this 50's American diner styled restaurant in our northern neighboring city, and they put aragula in a lot of dishes, like on top of a nacho platter if you order it as a main course, I don't mind it but I understand why many do. Our cook here often puts nettle leaves in salads during summers, some of my Tumblr friends have been horrified by it before 😂

Also, I wanted to spend a moment to tell you how you're one of those people who kept me standing when I felt like I want to quit because of trolls and hate I got, or when things first started going south. You're an amazing person Lisa, and I'm sad to know that my time in the community might start to be up because it means I have to leave so many amazing people behind, like you. I have felt like this for a long time, over a year already, with some moments where I feel like I don't want to leave because accepting that I have to leave people behind hurts so much, to get rid of bad leaves I have to cut out some good leaves too. But during the time when I was part of the community, you were one of those people who grew to be important to me, whose comments I cherished, who I loved interacting with. I miss that time and I know I will miss it 5 years from now, when everything was still well. You will stay in my memories as one of those who supported me when I was feeling grim or like I can't write. Your comments were often simple and you didn't even say anything about the quality of my writing, like you commented "when will this be me? that's the goal babes." into one of my Kaz fics, and they still made me smile and feel good about myself and my writing/my effort to make people smile with my content. I do miss the interaction and the little community we had all that time ago, every time I publish something in AO3.

I hope you will stay in this community for a long time or if you ever decide to leave, you won't deactivate. I will surely visit your blog time to time, just to remember you, even if I won't be logged in. Reading our old asks and remembering how fun I had interacting with you. Or maybe someday I'll log back in and hit you with a message, who knows. I'll definitely pop by to tell you about meeting Freddy (+ Kit, Amita, Jessie, Archie and Dean) at least when I've come back from London in March and maybe send you pictures and videos from there.

But I want to thank you for being there and being such a good friend, the community is lucky to have you <3

Whoever first thought that the Hunger Games were a good idea to cope with lack of entertainment was a psychopath. Or no, anyone who thought it's good entertainment was a psychopath. Or a sociopath. To have bloodthirsty teenagers run across the forest killing each other was something Lisa had never understood - yet here she was, fighting off a girl who had found the little nest Lisa had built for an hour. She thought she had been good at camouflaging it, and she had maybe been too confident in herself as now she had a spear sticking through the side of her adobmen and a girl straddling her, trying to shove a knife into her throat.

Lisa flailed pathetically and the girl laughed. "You know, it's a pity to kill you. You could have become a famous author."

Splendid, one of Lisa's readers was about to kill her.

"It's a pity you will never read them once I do," Lisa hissed back and managed to kick the girl before scrambling backward, jerking her own knife out of her bag and throwing the cover aside. The girl rolled back before locking eyes with Lisa again. She eyed her own knife for a moment, and then at Lisa's knife. They both stood there for a moment, ready to fight, but then the girl lowered her knife. She clenched her jaw.

"You're lucky my knife isn't sharp enough to kill you at one go. I was unlucky when picking weapons. I mean, you'd think they provided us with new, sharpened ones," she said quietly and her eyes flickered at the spear sticking out on Lisa's side. "But if I'm lucky, that will kill you. Maybe maggots will nest there and you die by infection."

She took some steps backward, and then turned away, running into the night. Lisa groaned as the adrenaline started to fade and pain started to kick in.

"Motherfucker..." Lisa mumbled, looking at the spear. It hadn't gone through her, which made her curse even more. She definitely wouldn't be able to push the spear all the way through her body so she'd be able to snap it and pull it out to bandage it. She could try, and risk getting paralyzed in the process. Leaving it there, on the other hand, would lead to an infection. Either way, her game was over.

Lisa scoffed - authors rarely got killed by their readers. Lisa knew it wasn't personal, that girl had likely forced herself to be cold towards others for survival. She likely had a loving family, friends who prayed she'd make it home, that she'd win the Games. She did it for them. But the spear still didn't hurt any less.

Then, Lisa heard steps approaching her little tent. Rustle as a pair of feet hit the leaf-covered forest floor. She didn't even try to hide, if it was someone, they would likely be able to kill her in a heartbeat. So she waited, a moment, two. A shadow appeared to the doorway, and a figure crouched.

"Well, well, well. Someone else got the cutie before I could?" a voice said, that arrogant voice belonging to a guy Lisa had sparred with before the Games. They had had a flirting session, which felt kind of awkward now - she had called him cute too, and he had gotten visibly flustered.

"Cato," Lisa greeted the boy, rolling her eyes as he invited himself to step into Lisa's space. "Please, come in."

Cato's eyes flickered from her to her makeshift bed, to a few weapons Lisa had acquired. "Nice place. Nicer than mine, at least."

Lisa cocked an eyebrow. "I thought you formed a gang of some kind, where did you leave them?"

Cato sighed and scoffed. "Sleeping. I heard a noise coming from here and wanted to come and see what's happening and if I can join the fun."

Lisa looked at her wound and shrugged. "Well, my game is over. So, if you want to put me out of my misery..."

Cato scoffed, taking a hold of the spear and Lisa hissed at the feeling. "I did say that I wouldn't want a cutie like you dying among the first ones."

Then, a sickening crunch was heard and Lisa cried out, feeling blood gushing out of her backside. She felt some pressure a moment longer, before she saw Cato holding some bloody stick in his hand. It took her a moment to realise that the spear had disappeared, but blood was now gushing out of her adobmen. She quickly took a roll of bandage and started unwrapping it and wrapped it around herself and securing it with a pin.

She then looked up at Cato, searching his face. "You saved me."

Cato smirked, tucking a strand of Lisa's hair behind her ear. "Hunger Games is about dying in a fight. Someone has to see the life disappearing from your eyes as they twist a knife into your heart. It isn't entertainment if we all die by infections."

Lisa narrowed her eyes at him, trying to ignore the fact how tenderly he just touched her. "So you accept it as a form of entertainment?"

Cato hummed. "It's not like we have a choice. We are their entertainment, whether we want it or not. They're watching us right now, speculating if we'll be the tragic love story this season."

Lisa almost choked in her spit. "Love story? Us?"

Cato licked his lips, his smirk still on his face. "I just saved your life. We sit here peacefully, we aren't threatening each other. They probably think we're about to marry each other by now."

Lisa raised her eyebrows at him again, but then scooted away from him. "Well, when we meet the next time, those speculations will die."

Cato shrugged, standing up and started to back away towards the doorway. "Or then they won't. See, I'm not planning to be the one who kills you, unless you try to kill me."

With that, he disappeared into the night, leaving Lisa wondering what would happen within the next days - if Cato really meant what he said or if he just tried to manipulate her. If he was just trying to get close to strike when she least expected it.

But, a voice in her head said, maybe he was being genuine. Did Lisa's little flirting with him really do that, him going almost soft? What would happen if only the two of them would be left standing, would he kill her then? Or did he think she gets killed without it being him?

Lisa reclined on her makeshift bed, staring at the roof for a moment longer before letting herself to have a moment of rest before the next day - maybe she'd attempt to find Cato and manage to clear things some more.

#jen's 2k ships #2k celebration

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honeytae · 2 years

Text

please read <3

hello my lovies!

i’m sure this is will be an unfortunate surprise to some of you, but i’ve decided to take an extended leave of absence from this blog. i haven’t really felt the amount of passion needed to keep it going in a while - and yes, i still love bangtan wholeheartedly - and of course all of you - but certain circumstances going on in my offline life have stolen my focus from honeytae.

i started this blog nearly two and a half years ago at the height of the covid-19 lockdown. i was home with nothing better to do…and that was honestly my most creatively free time. it was so fun for me to express these ideas i’d had in my head but hadn’t had the time or energy to put into (semi) eloquent words. not just fun - exhilarating.

over time, however, life began to pick back up, and suddenly everything was back in full swing. juggling this blog on top of everything else was a challenge, but one that i was proud to have succeeded at through my junior year of college.

it was hard for me to shove my pride down and take a hiatus during my fall semester of senior year. but i kept telling myself along the way that i would finally feel that creative freedom again after finishing school, that i would eventually be able to live up to mine and others expectations of what this blog should be. what i’ve learned is that you can never even attempt to predict the future, even when you think you’ve got it locked down.

i am now trying to propel myself into the professional world, manage a new living situation, succeed at my first big job, deal with family matters, nurture a serious relationship, and handle the many stresses of being an adult. not that it’s all bad. i’m happy! and i have a whole lot of support behind me in all of this. it’s just a whole lot of changes for someone to become accustomed to.

long story short: everything has changed since i started this blog. very few parts of my life have remained the same. it is very difficult to concentrate on something that you feel no longer has a place in your days. i have felt for a while that i need to take a step back and immerse myself into life with no leftover guilt. i’ve procrastinated so much on writing this letter, but it would be impossible for me to move on without addressing you guys after everything you’ve provided me with.

and on that note, i want to thank every creator and reader that has made me feel welcomed and included on here. you have all sent me so much love and positivity and genuinely made me feel such pure happiness. i feel so grateful for having such lovely people reading and supporting my works. i couldn’t have done it without the safe space you made for me. thank you.

i want to make it clear that this isn’t a goodbye forever. i could be back in a few months, maybe a year. but i’ve made it a personal goal to just let myself breathe as much as possible in my free time, for the time-being. i encourage you all to do so as well.

i will be queuing this post quite a bit so that it reaches as many followers as possible. i will also be logging out of this app in the next few days or so to relieve some of the pressure i’m bound to feel to check in. i will not be deactivating this blog nor deleting/archiving any of my works!

if you would like to remain in contact with me off of this site, please privately message me and i will give you my discord. i am always here for all of you, as you have been for me <3

i love you always,

mckenna

#you all mean so much to me and i hope you know that #i hope to see you guys soon!

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sizzlingpatrolfox · 3 months

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idk if its just me who feels this way but the pjm stan space has become unbearable, if it’s not the constant infighting or fighting w jjks it’s the constant terrible opinions, the unwarranted condescending tweets of how to do this n that correctly or you’re not a “true pjm”, the constant homophobia and the return of y/n pjms, the glorification of military by some of them just bc they’re obsessed with a nonexistent overly masculine version of jimin, the constant pushing out queer fans out of jimin’s fanspace.. i just feel so so uncomfortable existing with those people in the same fandom and can’t help but distance myself. which is such a shame because stanning as a community really is more than half of the experience. but anyway. idk. it’s just sad to be pushed out of a fanspace i’ve been dedicated to for like 7+ years

I never really called myself an army and didn't enjoy most of the stuff the fandom seemed to engage with, like bangtan universe, theories, etc. Even with jikookers and pjms I often laughed to myself about the things they say or believe in; it's not that I started to do that recently, I've always been like that. Sometimes I'm still uncomfortable of the "pjm" nickname simply because I've never called myself anything. I was never a "swiftie" either, and I've liked Taylor Swift since 2008.

Fandom really is a huge part of the experience of being a fan of anything, but it's not mandatory. I know you know this already, I guess it will just take some time for you to get used to being a fan without really being active in the fandom. I deactivated the twitter account I used to interact with Jimin stuff a while after face, then I forgot to log back in again and now the account is lost forever. I don't miss it. My plan was to have it for Jimin's next release, but I honestly just forgot to log in after a month and it's gone. Even with no "fan" account, I'm still up to date with everything that goes on, and I don't think I'm missing much of content.

Granted, I did have this blog and I'm obviously still active here, so maybe I didn't miss twitter that much because of this platform.

For a while I have aimed to be more of a Jimin fan in the way I am a fan of Taylor, for example. I don't check update accounts about her, or know her every step in her personal life. I find out if she's gone out or something because she shows up on my trends, otherwise I wouldn't know. I still know every single word she's ever sung and listen to her music almost daily; I went to her concert in November. Honestly, ever since 2022 or so the goal has been to be such a Jimin fan, and it's a slow process but I've actually been getting there.

You're not going to be able to control what anyone else does, and being frustrated or annoyed constantly is just terrible; there's not much to do except control your little corner of the world, honestly. If you don't want to leave twitter, mute, unfollow, etc thosewho annoy you and try to look for people who see more eye to eye with you.

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hollie911 · 1 year

Text

This is not my work. It is by the user constantwriter85 whose account had been deactivated on tumblr and ao3 and i am just sharing their work

The devil you know

Vampire!Jefferson x reader

Part 7/10

Chapter Warning: **18+** Smut, Blood Drinking, Vampirism, Fluff

Jefferson sat at the computer, researching and trying to ignore the horrible squelching of innards and the whir of the bone saw from across the room. Y/N may be a kind and gentle soul, but she had a cast iron stomach and nerves of steel to do what she did. Still, he couldn’t help but watch her despite the grisly scene laid out in front of her.

Dear God, woman, you’re as terrifying as you are beautiful.

Jefferson smiled, utterly distracted by her.

He watched her long, delicate fingers as she handled the scalpel, her eyes narrowed in concentration. A lock of hair had fallen onto her forehead, but she seemed oblivious to that as well as everything else in the room. She was so smart and so incredibly beautiful, both inside and out.

More and more, Jefferson found himself daydreaming about a life with her. As a human, once again…able to walk in daylight, to hold her hand and stroll through the park like normal people, to lie in bed with her, the sun warm on their skin and both their hearts beating together as one as they made love for hours.

Jefferson hadn’t forgotten about Grace—oh, no. But if he were able to reverse the curse, he would still have a long life ahead of him before he was finally laid to rest. A long, mortal life. One that he could spend, maybe, with her.

If she’d have him.

Because he surely wanted her, in every way possible…and he wanted to give himself to her as well. His mind was made up. He wanted to bond with her and take her as his mate, not just as a means of protection, but as an expression of his true love.

He closed his eyes, listening to the slow, steady cadence of her heartbeat. He inhaled, marveling at how good she smelled. How easy it was for him to separate the scent of her from everything else. After all, some of her blood already flowed through his veins, and Jefferson felt his fangs sharpen at the thought of more.

The sound of Y/N switching off the tape recorder startled him from his reverie, and he blinked in surprise.

Now, where was I?

Jefferson had to admit, he was completely lost. Technology wasn’t exactly his forte—okay, he was hopeless with it. She’d showed him how to use the internet, and the typing—well, it was just like a typewriter, but he was still a bit lost when it came to the mouse and all the clicking.

Instead, he propped his chin on his hand and watched as she scrubbed down after cleaning her workspace.

“Finished already, love?” he called.

She shrugged. “Seventy-five-year-old who smoked for over sixty years…you don’t exactly have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure that one out.”

“Good,” he said. “I mean…good that you’re done, not good about the…you know.”

He gestured vaguely in the direction of the corpse. Y/N laughed.

“It’s okay, Jefferson. I knew what you meant. How’s your search coming?”

He shuffled the papers and made a face. “Erm…well. I uh…I logged onto Google, but after that I admit I got a little lost…and distracted.”

“Distracted?”

Jefferson fixed her with a smoldering stare, and she bit her lip, suppressing a pleased grin. By god, if they weren’t here in her place of work he’d bend her right over that table and take her now, the little minx.

“Come,” he said, patting his leg. “Sit on my lap and show me how to double-click the mouse.”

“Jefferson!”

He laughed, grinning up at her. “I’m teasing!”

“I thought you didn’t know anything about computers.”

“I don’t…but I find modern sexual euphemisms fascinating.”

“You’re impossible,” she smirked.

They sat together at the computer while Y/N led the search for a key to the runes. Jefferson tried to pay attention, but he was very easily distracted. He paged through the book, drew little doodles on desk blotter, and alphabetized the reference books on the shelf behind them. He had just finished braiding her hair when she cried out.

“Jefferson! I think I found it!”

He huddled next to her as she pointed out an article on the screen.

“The symbols are an ancient Romanian secret language,” she said excitedly. “The symbols were used in recent centuries as embroidery patterns on clothing, but way, way before that they were used in secret cults.”

“Satanic?”

“No. Pagan Romanian cults, mostly representing the worship of the sun and the moon.”

“ Copiii soarelui și lunii,” Jefferson read in a hushed voice, looking at the screen.

“You speak Romanian?”

“I’ve had all the time in the world, my dear, I speak several languages.” He smiled and nodded at the screen. “It means, ‘Children of the Sun and the Moon.’ These cults were thought to be the forerunners to the Legend of Dracula and Van Helsing.”

Y/N turned and plucked the sheets off the printer that depicted several rune diagrams. “So, do you think you could translate it with these?”

Jefferson’s brow furrowed as he looked over the pages, cross-referencing several symbols. He laughed, seeing that she was absolutely right. For the first time, a cure was within his grasp.

“Yes, I believe it’s possible.” He beamed at her. “You’ve figured it out, Y/N, you…you’ve done what’s taken me over a century. You’re amazing, darling.”

Jefferson pulled her onto his lap, cupping her face with his hands. Light kisses against her lips, the tip of her nose, her forehead.

“Te iubesc, sângele inimii mele,”he whispered against her skin. He smiled at the deep blush that crept into her cheeks, and at the look of radiant adoration in her beautiful eyes.

“It means, I love you, blood of my heart.”

Her lips parted slightly, and she blushed. Jefferson rubbed his nose against hers and trailed his lips across her cheekbone and down her jaw, delighting in the way her breath hitched at his touch.

“Tell me more,” she murmured.

"Lumina vieții mele, vreau să vă dau totul.”

Jefferson kissed the soft spot behind her ear. He drew her earlobe between his teeth, biting down gently. She gasped, and he whispered softly.

“Light of my life, I want to give you everything.”

His hands smoothed down her sides, gripping her hips and pulling her tighter to him. Lips grazed down her throat, pausing at her pulse point and feeling the rush of blood just beneath the surface.

“Vreau sa te fac al meu.”

He bit down lightly on the tender skin there, feeling her pulse quicken in response.

“I want to make you mine.”

Jefferson looked up at her and was surprised to see the carnal hunger in her eyes. She looked as though she would devour him on the spot. Bending down, she placed feather-light kisses on his cheeks, his nose, his brow.

“I want to be yours. Only yours,” she murmured.

The coil in his belly tightened as he felt her thighs squeeze his waist, and he gasped as she gripped his chestnut locks, tilting his head back so she could lavish attention to his throat. Jefferson’s hands snaked up her back and pulled her closer as they became lost in one another.

***

Two eyes peered through the low window that looked into the basement morgue, crimson lips sliding into a snarl. Watching in silent fury as the couple exchanged soft kisses and gentle caresses, less than ten feet from her.

Jefferson. Walking, talking, and very much alive, right in front of her. Kissing that lying little bitch of a coroner. Regina had been fooled again, and this time by a talentless human girl. Lied to and deceived, even after Regina had done her very best to put the fear of the devil in her.

Regina stood and dusted off her pantsuit. Well, her little protector wouldn’t be able to save her this time.

Regina had followed up on the coroner’s paperwork, trying to track down Jefferson’s body…only to find that both the paperwork and the autopsy had been faked. The police were none the wiser—to them there was no way the body could be anything but dead and gone. Regina knew better, though.

Jefferson was proving to be as slippery as an eel. He had tricked her at every turn, and now he had her spell book. And not just any book—the Cartea Morților,some of the darkest and deadliest spells were in that spell book. It was one of her favorites.

Apparently, he hadn’t learned his lesson with Grace. Perhaps it was time to take someone he loved from right in front of him. Make him watch as she suffered…use her as leverage to get what she needed from him.

And then, Regina would make Jefferson watch as she killed her.

As she faded back into the surrounding woods, Regina began to plot. She would need to get the girl away from him somehow—there was no way she would be able to get to her with Jefferson around. The man had no stomach for violence, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t fight to the death to protect the woman he loved. The curse had made him stronger and faster than her…and a potentially lethal adversary.

Regina got in her car, as slow smile spreading across her face. She wasn’t worried. She would track them and find a way to get the girl alone.

Then she would make them both pay.

***

“Love? There’s something I want to ask you.”

You hummed, looking up at him. Sprawled across the couch with Jefferson, your head nestled against his chest, you floated in utter bliss, staring into the dancing flames in the fireplace. His long fingers grazed down the side of your face, his index finger sliding over your bottom lip.

He seemed lost in thought, and a little apprehensive.

“What is it, Jefferson? What’s wrong?”

He smiled. “Nothing’s wrong, I just…I’ve been doing some thinking, and reading…”

“About what?”

“A way to keep you safe…a way for us to look out for each other.”

You must have looked confused, because he carefully sat you up, pulling the Cartea Morților onto both your laps. He paged through the book until he found what he was looking for.

A wild heat erupted in your core the same moment you flushed in embarrassment. The page was in Romanian, of course, but the illustrations left little to the imagination. They looked like they belonged in The Joy of Sex…if Bram Stoker had written it. It appeared to be detailed instructions for a vampire mating ritual.

Jefferson caught your look, and he chuckled nervously. “Yes, ah…it’s…I know it’s a bit, erm…descriptive, but it’s…”

He cleared his throat, blinking rapidly. “The mating ritual is not just sexual, it’s used to form a bonded pair. That is, between two vampires after they’ve imprinted on one another…or a vampire and a human.”

You had to admit, just the thought of bonding with Jefferson in that way warmed your heart…as well as somewhere further south. Still, you had questions.

“Will it…will it hurt? Am I going to turn into a—”

“No!” Jefferson grabbed both your hands, clutching them with urgency. “I would never, never do anything to hurt you or…or taint you like that.”

He said it with such disgust that you immediately felt bad for even asking.

“Don’t,” he said as if he could read your thoughts. “You have questions, as you should. I…I only bring it up because it is a means of protection. After we’re bonded we’ll be able to sense when the other is in danger, feel each other’s emotions. A bonded pair will always find each other.”

“So it’s just for protection?”

“No. Not just that it’s…it’s something I want with you, very, very much.”

Your breath hitched in your chest, and your heart fluttered.

You would be lying if you said you hadn’t imagined a future with Jefferson. What he was offering, while slightly different, seemed more intimate and…lasting. You knew he loved you, but you had no idea he felt as strongly as you did. He was sitting there, watching you, waiting for your answer.

You nodded, and Jefferson broke into such a radiant and genuine smile that it melted your heart. He cradled your face, kissing you deeply. His nose rubbed against your cheek as he whispered into your ear.

“I love you, Y/N.” He smiled and pulled back, his blue eyes flicking back and forth between yours. “Do you want this, darling? Truly? I don’t want to make you—”

You silenced him with a kiss, and he moaned.

“I want to be yours, Jefferson. I want this.”

Jefferson drew you into his arms, nuzzling your hair. The fire was starting to die down as he helped you to your feet, holding your hand tightly as you ascended the stairs to his bedroom. He shut the door and stood there, fidgeting and staring at the floor.

Now that you were in his room, Jefferson seemed nervous. He was trembling, and he looked at you as if you were made of porcelain.

“Jefferson, what’s wrong?”

“I…I want to do this, I really do.” His lips trembled. “I just—I don’t want to hurt you.”

He looked at you, his eyes miserable. “And I could. Hurt you. I—you have no idea what it’s like. How much I constantly struggle to control myself with you. How long I’ve dreamed of this very moment with you. How much I want it, but I’m so afraid I’m not strong enough to stop myself.”

Jefferson looked at you, his eyes darkening with desire. He leaned in, kissing you gently as his fingers traced down your neck, stopping at the hollow of your throat. His palm flattened against your chest and he closed his eyes, feeling the steady rhythm of the organ beneath.

“I can hear your heart beating, did you know that? Always. Sometimes it beats softly in the background, a white noise I hardly notice.” He took a deep breath and his eyes fluttered open, feeling your heart start to pound beneath his hand.

“Other times, though, like this…it’s everywhere. It’s all around me. It’s inside me, I can almost feel it. It’s so alive…so beautiful…so you.It’s almost more than I can stand.”

He was staring at you now, his eyes blown black with a carnal need.

“I can smell it…your blood. God, it smells so sweet, so intoxicating.” Jefferson licked his lips, barely suppressing a shudder. “Your heart is racing, it’s pounding in my head. I can hear the liquid rush calling to me, and I can smell how much you want it.”

Jefferson ghosted his lips over the pulse point in your throat, and you could feel the light drag of his fangs against your skin. Wetness pooled at your core, and he groaned. You knew he could smell that as well.

“God help me, I want it too. I want it, but once I have that first taste, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop myself.”

Jefferson seemed to come back to himself, and laid back on the bed with a sigh. “It won’t be like before, it’s…it’s…I’ll try to be gentle, but you have to understand, I’ll be at the very limit of my control.”

He looked up at you, miserably tormented by his conflicting emotions. It was time to take matters into your own hands.

You unbuttoned your dress, letting it fall silently to the floor as you climbed onto the bed, facing him. Jefferson stared at you as you crawled over to him, your fingers slowly untying his scarf.

“It’s okay, Jefferson, I trust you. I know you won’t hurt me.”

His breath hitched as you unbuttoned his shirt and ran your hands down his sculpted chest. He felt cold, and you remembered he hadn’t fed yet today. Heat coiled in your belly at the thought.

Jefferson reached up with trembling hands and lightly traced the vein in your throat, all the way down your chest, pausing over your heart. His fingers slipped beneath the fabric of your bra, running softly over your breasts and making your nipples hard. His eyes flashed darkly, but he was exceedingly gentle as he pulled off your undergarments.

His pants and shirt soon joined them on the floor, and he sat back, staring at you as if seeing you for the first time. It seemed like the calm before the storm. He was painfully hard, and you were almost shaking in anticipation as you felt the wetness of your arousal leak down your leg.

“So beautiful,” he said as he took your face in his hands, “and all mine.”

He laid you back against the bed, his mouth never leaving yours. For a moment you were both so still, laying skin against skin, your heart pounding so hard you felt it shaking both your bodies. Jefferson’s breath shuddered against your lips.

“Te iubesc, dragă,”he murmured. “So much.”

“I love you too, Jefferson.”

His tongue licked against your bottom lip, requesting permission. Jefferson groaned loudly as he entered your mouth, and he slid on top of your body possessively. He left wet, open-mouthed kisses down your front, whispering against your skin.

“I’m going to make you mine, darling, but first…first I’m going to make you scream with pleasure.”

His eyes found yours as his fingers found your core. He started slowly, gently, rubbing lightly over your clit as he suckled your breast. You sighed in contentment, a sight that turned into a gasp as he slipped a finger inside you and bit down on your nipple.

You cried out as his sinful tongue explored your body. He slipped a second and a third finger inside, pumping hard and rubbing your sensitive spot into a frenzy. Jefferson bit your ear, fisting your hair and holding you tightly against his body.

“Come for me, my petal. I want to hear you.”

His voice was a low growl, intensively possessive. It might have been that alone that sent you over the edge, but the moment he rubbed hard against your clit you came with a scream.

Jefferson didn’t even let you come down. Flipping you over, he grabbed your hips, drawing you up and back as he pushed in with a single hard thrust. You groaned obscenely. His hands gripped you tighter and he pushed against you, hard and quick, your name a breathless moan on his lips.

It was rough. It was animalistic and possessive. You could barely breathe with the sheer masculinity he exuded.

You came again, clenching down on him. His thrusts became erratic, and he slammed into you as he came with a choked shout. Jefferson’s hand reached up and grabbed your throat lightly, pulling you back into his chest. He panted into your shoulder, and you could still feel him twitching inside you.

Your head was buzzing with aftershock. Still, Jefferson was far from done with you. He smiled as he gently laid you down, his eyes wide and bright with adoration. He balanced his weight on his arms, his taught stomach against yours and his still-hard cock between your legs. Once again, you marveled at the sheer beauty of him.

A kiss as he entered you again, gentler this time but no less insistently. Slower thrusts this time…deeper. Taking his time now that all the frantic, needy energy had been expended from you both.

Your legs wrapped around his hips as his eyes bored into yours, and you found yourself mesmerized by their intensity. Then his lips were on yours again, the heat building slowly.

Jefferson cradled your head, lifting you up and tilting your head back slightly. His lips grazed your pulse point and you felt his breath, warm against your skin.

“I love you, Y/N.”

Two sharp pinches at your throat, and your eyes flew open as you gasped at the pain. Blood gushed up from the wound. Jefferson’s mouth pressed to your jugular as his fangs sank in deeper, and the pain disappeared, gone as suddenly as it came.

A great wave of euphoria washed over you, and you clutched at his shoulders. Jefferson drank, great long pulls as he continued to thrust into you. He moaned, his throat working at your vein. You felt your heart slow, each beat almost a painful thud against your chest. Jefferson moaned again in response, his thrusts growing harder and more desperate as he drank.

His skin was liquid fire against yours, and you swore you were both glowing. The room dimmed. You couldn’t breathe, the intensity of your previous orgasms washing into the now and making your head spin. Your body tensed and your back arched as your nails raked his back. Jefferson’s hips snapped against you once more and you came again, your vision fading to black as he released inside you.

You drifted, floating away on a cloud of ecstasy. Dimly, you were aware of Jefferson’s fangs withdrawing. His tongue slid over the wound on your throat, and he cradled you against his chest.

“Y/N? Darling, open your eyes…I need you to tell me you’re okay.”

His voice was hoarse and thick with emotion. It didn’t worry you though, nothing did. You couldn’t feel anything except for him—your world began and ended in his arms.

Your hand fell limply onto the sheets.

Worried hands at your face, and your eyes sleepily blinked open. You felt so exhausted, so…thoroughly sated. Lazy with afterglow. You smiled up at Jefferson, reaching up to caress his face.

“…so pretty…so…you’re so…beautiful…”

Blue eyes looking concerned now, lifting your head.

“Y/N, listen to me. You have to drink now, you’re too weak.”

Jefferson bit down on his wrist. Blood immediately welled from the wound, running down his forearm and dripping onto the sheets. Your eyes had fluttered shut, and he held his injured arm to your lips.

“Please, love…you have to take some from me now…I know it’s…”

His words faded to a gasp as your lips found the wound at his wrist, and you began to drink.

It was far from disgusting. It was a bit salty with a coppery hint, but it was rich and warm and somehow, it tasted like him. Jefferson shuddered and gasped, pulling you close and cradling your head against his chest as he fed you.

The haziness retreated, replaced by a startling clarity. Your eyes fluttered open. The colors of the room were brighter, your hearing sharper. You could sense Jefferson’s every feeling, every movement, your hypersensitivity completely in tune with his body.

All too soon he gently pulled his wrist away, licking the wound closed. You laid back, sighing deeply. Your body was thrumming with sudden energy. With life.

You rolled over, staring at him, feeling an immense and visceral pull. Jefferson looked at you, his eyes shining with devotion. You could feel his love, tempered with lingering concern.

Suddenly, you wanted him again. You needed him.

You pressed him back against the bed, raising his arms above his head and pinning him down. You knew he could easily overpower him, but at that moment, something otherworldly was driving you to dominate him. To make him yours.

Jefferson growled up at you, his eyes flashing with desire as your lips met his in a bruising kiss. Fingers tangled in his hair, pulling his head back as you bit his throat, sucking his skin between your teeth as he whimpered submissively.

You bit his lip and tasted his blood again, and it was all over after that. Jefferson groaned as you sank down on him, taking his hands and placing them on your hips. His head tilted back and he cried out as you rode him.

Neither of you lasted long this time, toppling over the edge together with a mutual shout. You collapsed against his heaving chest, your strength utterly spent. Jefferson curled his arms around you. Legs wrapped around his waist, you held him, neither of you wanting to let the other go.

Now it was time for sweet kisses and lingering touches, the heat of your passion burning low but still just as bright. You stared at each other with new eyes. Hands caressed gentle curves and taught muscle, each of you breathless with love for the other.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of kissing you,” you said, sighing dreamily as his lips found yours yet again.

Jefferson laughed, a light and carefree sound. “Then I’ll make it my life’s mission to make sure you get your fill, from sun up to sun down.”

You looked at him, realizing what he had just said.

“I mean it, Y/N. If…if we’re able to pull this off, to reverse the curse and make me human again, I’d like to court you…properly.”

You giggled. “I don’t think they call it courting anymore, Jefferson.”

“Well, dating then,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Whatever you call it, I’d like the chance to live a mortal life with you, if you’ll have me.”

After everything you’d just done, everything you’d been through together, he was still unsure.

“You already have me Jefferson,” you said, kissing his cheek. “I’m yours, in this life and the next. I’m never leaving you.”

Jefferson exhaled sharply, and he blinked. Tears spilled over as he drew you into his chest in a bone-crushing hug and peppered kisses all over your face and neck until you were giggling again.

Soon the first hints of rose began to peek over the horizon as dawn approached. Jefferson looked up at you apologetically.

“It’s okay, Jefferson. I’m exhausted too. Let’s just go to sleep, we’ll need our strength for tomorrow.”

“Yes. Tomorrow.”

Despite the fatigue, his eyes twinkled in anticipation. Tomorrow you would begin to translate the runes and gather the materials needed for the potion. Tomorrow you would take the first steps towards turning him human once more.

You curled into Jefferson as his arm wrapped protectively around you, and you watched as his eyes grew heavy…long, dark lashes resting against his cheekbones. His breathing slowed, and as the first glimpse of the sun peeked over the horizon, he let out a small sigh. His chest didn’t rise again.

You knew what to expect with the dawn, but it didn’t make it any easier to watch. You held Jefferson tightly as the last bit of warmth left his body.

Soon, love. Soon, you won’t have to live like this anymore.

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@learisa

#jefferson hatter x reader #vampire #vampire jefferson #x reader #ouat

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