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acrobaticcatfeline · 5 years

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Rebuilding a Broken Mind, an Orphan Sanders fic

Word Count: 6484

TW: swearing, only a little bit, death mention, murder mention, doctors? patton is a veterinarian, idk if doctors is a trigger but you know better safe than sorry, i wrote thomas as bi and married to a chick but hes dead so like? also patton is pan and likes a chick. patton gets overwhelmed and cries a lot.

Notes: This is my orphan au and i cherish it they’re all such goods.

Pairings: uh none really, thomas and valerie, patton is crushing on my OC.

Summary: “Oh! Um, hi! My name is Patton Sanders, nice to meet you! Um, I’m 20, a veterinarian, and well, I’m an orphan.” Patton lost his parents when he was 15 and had to raise himself and his three younger brothers on his own. hes 20 now, and hes got a job and hes starting to get his life together. Of course with reminders of his parents constantly surrounding him, it makes it hard to really move on.

Oh! Um, hi! My name is Patton Sanders, nice to meet you! Um, I’m 20, a veterinarian, and well, I’m an orphan. I have three little brothers named Virgil, Logan, and Roman! They are so super awesome! Virgil is the sporty guy at his high school, he’s 17 and the captain of like, all of the schools’ sport teams! Logan is my little genius! He’s only 14, but he’s a whole two years ahead and in high school with Virge! Roman is my theatre kiddo, he’s in every arts program at his school and knows how to play just about every instrument at only 9!!! Now, as for me, I’m nothing special, I just try really really hard, so my brothers are safe. I triple timed high school and college so that by the time I turned 18 I had my degree in veterinary medicine. Logan claims I pulled an Aaron Burr by doing this, which I don’t fully understand, but I assume it’s a cool thing. I only did what I had to though, we were already orphaned by the time I started high school, which meant we had no money for college. My high school said that it would pay all my college expenses if I followed the guidelines set, and so I super dashed through school. I managed to ace just about all my classes with some help from my friends and siblings. But that isn’t what this is about. I’m not the focus in this story, I’m just the narrator and eyes. This is a story about 4 kids forced to grow up far too fast. This is a story of the children of the most amazing people. Because when it comes down to it, we’re broken minds, struggling to put ourselves back together.

Now, to start, we have to explain what happened first. Our parents, Thomas and Val Sanders were out at a college play that a friend of theirs was a part of. Unfortunately, they never made it out alive. One of the people attending the play started a shoot-out with about 5 others helping him. Nearly the whole auditorium was killed. Including them.

We had no living next of kin, so a family friend took us in for a short while before dropping us all off at the orphanage. I will never forget that day. I remember them letting us grab our important things from our old house. I remember crying while holding all my siblings close. I remember having to be dragged out of my home. I remember the looks of pure pity from the orphanage staff. I remember them trying to separate me from my brothers. I remember almost punching them. I remember the name of the staff member who was the only one to understand and let us stay together, his name was Terrance. I remember hugging him before we were ushered off. I remember the confusion from Roman when we told him we weren’t going home. I remember Virgil carrying him around telling him that this was home now, with faux excitement and a plastic smile. I remember Roman thinking mom and dad were still coming back, and none of us having the heart to tell him otherwise. I remember Logan not speaking at all for the next month. But most of all, I remember the broken parts that got littered everywhere we went.

I was 15. Roman was only 4. We were broken beyond repair. At least, I thought we were. I thought for sure that we were going to go straight from the orphanage to the homeless shelter. But I did it. I managed to do something, and it changed our lives forever.

The day before I turned 18, I went through with my plan. I have friends named Joan and Talyn who already had a house due to Talyn’s parents having money to spare. They let us stay with them for as long as we needed. We brought all of our things over and we explained the rules of this new situation. My bros were quick to follow instruction. The next day we officially moved out of the horrible child prison we were owned by. I was already well into my job as a vet tech and was able to fully become a veterinarian the next month due to my boss seeing that I was at least twice as competent as the resident vets. And so, it began.

It was bittersweet when we got our own place, as Joan and Talyn had grown to adore my little brothers in the short year we lived there. But I had finally earned enough money to rent a house, plus the orphanage contacted me, telling me about a very large inheritance we apparently had, which was somehow enough to buy said house. We ended up moving in and used the money I earned for beds and a couch.

Over the next year we bought more furniture and accessories as we saw fit. At the present moment, my room is bright blue with animal posters and pop culture references sprawled about randomly. Logan and Roman’s room is split in half. One side is meticulous with dark blue and black walls and a few nerdy posters, mostly of doctor who and Sherlock Holmes. The other however, was messy as all get out, had musical posters everywhere and usually had the mess all the way up to the metaphorical line. Logan never complained unless Roman’s things crossed it. Now Virgil confused me. I was planning on him sharing a room with me, but he refused, claiming that I needed privacy and rest since I was working full time and he wasn’t. All he wanted was a couch, some bedding, music, and some makeup. Because I’m a stubborn mule, whenever he lets me buy him things, I buy him the most bestest makeup and all his favorite albums, as well as some of the best headphones sold. He gets mad at me, but he deserves the world and more.

Okay, now we’re in the present! So, I might as well start the actual story now. Ok well then. Its Friday morning, today the big game at the high school is happening, which means Virgil has to leave early for practice. By early, I mean about the time that I leave for work which is 6 am.

I get up and make food like I normally do, only doubled because Lo and Virge usually sleep for another half an hour. Ro always gets up with me because I’m his ride to school. Virgil has a motorcycle that he drives himself and Logan to school on. I start up some friendly conversation as we eat, Virgil still groggy from sleep.

“are you ready for the game today? Isn’t it against the school rivals? I hope you guys beat them again, but I’m sure you will with such a good captain!!!” I wink at him as he chuckles.

“yeah, we’ve got this, if anything, I’ve got this, and that’s really the point. Yeah, it’s our rivals, the panthers, today. Not that they’ve ever been a challenge. We’ve swept the floor with them for countless years. And thanks for the poorly concealed compliment. Do we have anymore coffee?” he rambles off answers to my questions.

“yeah, but I don’t get paid til tomorrow and there’s only a cup worth left. Proceed at your own risk.” As soon as I say it, Logan zooms to the coffee and brews it for himself, cackling maniacally (giggling cutely).

“HAHAH!!! You will never get a drop of the saccharine nectar!!! Tis mine, forever and always!” he brushes his hair back with his hand and smiles at us. Roman beams and stands up in a fighting stance.

“thou shalt not loot this poor pauper of his deserved libation!!! Come at me thy villainous fiend!” and quickly the two start playing mock sword fighting. Me and Virgil laugh as Logan gets vanquished and the cup of coffee gets given to V. Logan ends up stealing some still, to my amusement.

We end up splitting up as the kiddos go to school and I head to work. I walk in, put on my coat, and then the place blows up. There is a half dead dog on my table and another 2 that are at least stable waiting. I’m apparently the only actual vet that showed up today. Great. Today’s gonna be fun.

I’m not gonna go into what happened at work, because honestly, not much happened. It was an average day at work, but now is time for the interesting part!!! So, the big game at the high school is happening today right? Well, let me talk about it!

So, I go and pick up Roman from school and head over to the high school while asking Ro about his day. He learned a healthy amount of animal and plant biology, so I talk about some of the things he didn’t understand and made a few biology puns which were received quite well luckily! When we get to the school, I call Logan to figure out where he had stationed himself. We meet up and find a nice spot on the bleachers. Not long after, the teams came out and started playing. Virgil is easy to spot, not to mention the announcers are constantly shouting about him as he keeps running the ball the furthest of either team. The game is pretty average for the most part, up until the very end. Virge takes the win but not a second after, he gets tackled full force to the ground. I stand up and look over the crowd as I see him up again, shoving the other guy away. The guy gets up close to his face and I think Virgil is going to punch him-oh god please don’t punch him. The guy gets dragged away by the referee and Virgil has a bunch of teammates coming to check on him and I feel much less on edge. I shouldn’t though. As soon as I think it’s done the announcers go quiet and the stands go crazy as Virgil uppercuts the guy and then knees him in the stomach.

“what just happened there?! Kyle, why did Sanders just risk his high school career like that?!”

“Fitton insulted sanders’ younger brother.” Oh. Oh no. Oh HELL NO! Logan stands up and looks in the direction of the guy and visibly shudders. Oh, he’s lucky that V got to him first. Oh, I might be going to jail guys! The rest of this story might be told from prison!

“Logan, do you know that guy?” I ask calmly. He looks at me before turning away.

“um, yeah. He uh, he’s an ex of mine…” I tense up. He’s never told me about him having been in a relationship! He tells me everything! Ugh, that’s not important right now…

“is he a freshman? I haven’t seen him on the team before.” Lo nods.

“yeah, we met at the local library. I didn’t tell you cuz I didn’t think you’d want me to date someone and um, never mind… Anyways, we broke up cuz he was trying to pressure me into doing um, bad things.” I twitch. Oh, I might kill him. I shake my head and take Roman’s hand and start walking down towards the team to pick up Virgil. We get down there and I check up on Virgil, checking for medical issues; he very well could have gotten another concussion. I get distracted when Virgil hisses at something behind me.

“oh, calm down parselhead. I wasn’t even coming over here for you” I hear in a low drawl behind me. “how’s it hanging bookie?”

“first off, I’ve told you what that actually means and that that nickname bothers me, please cease this instant, and second, I’m doing fine how are you Loki?” I hear Logan say calmly. I tense slightly and turn around with an angry look on my face.

“Logan you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I know for certain I wouldn’t if I were you.” Logan looks at me but shakes his head.

“I can converse with an ex and still be civil about it Pat. It’s no problem.” he smiles softly at me, but I can’t help the anger that swells in my chest seeing the huge smirk that this guy is wearing.

“yeah Patton we can be civil here, no need for this hostility. Anyways, I’m doing fantastic Logan! Thank you for asking! I even have a new boyfriend, one who doesn’t try to keep me a secret.” His voice is contradictory to his words.

“it was two years ago, and I was twelve and still in an orphanage, I didn’t need my older brother worrying about me anymore than he already did. Plus, I barely understood my emotions, how do you think I would deal with my brothers’?” Logan crosses his arms and looks up at him accusingly.

“I dunno, I sorta thought you were enjoying the relationship, but you just ended it for no reason, citing your brother as too intimidating to cross, and neither of them look that scary to me.” He says and I look over to Logan in confusion. He walks closer to him and starts talking again, harsher than before.

“you and I both know that wasn’t what happened. You got pissed off that I didn’t want to go smoke and bang you arrogant prick. Also, I’d watch what you say about my brothers if I were you.” He just smirks while he backs away.

“okay then, I see I’m no longer wanted here. See you round bookie.” He walks away, and Logan shakes his head and face palms.

“every fricking time… I try to be civil but he always… ugh never mind it doesn’t matter. V are you okay? I don’t know what Loki said, but I can almost guarantee it was a lie. Also, he has a ridiculously hard skull, don’t ask how I know that, are you bleeding? Concussed?” Logan looks up at Virgil with a worried smile.

“yeah, I’m sure it was a lie, didn’t make it any less enraging. And no, I’m not bleeding or concussed. You dated him? How?! He’s such a prick!!!” Logan laughs.

“I don’t know, he was interesting. He told good stories and listened to me when I needed to vent. He’s also an incredibly good pillow. Really, he was just, the person I needed at the time, I guess.” He shrugs. Virgil is still watching him leave with an angry glare fixed on his face. I decide to change the topic.

“hey guys, you want pizza for dinner tonight? Food for champions!” the other three smile and cheer. V changes out and we head home, and I hand make three pizzas from scratch the way that we usually like it. Dad loved pizza and he said my pizza was the best, so I usually make it for celebrations or as a pick-me-up. It seems like its serving as both tonight. While its baking I make a couple of announcements.

“okay, so I’m going shopping tomorrow morning, but when I’m done with that, I thought we’d go visit Joan and Talyn? They have some presents for you all.” All three of them look up from what they were doing with wide eyes and smiles.

“YEEEEESSS!!! JOAN AND TALYN ARE SUPER AWESOMAZINGSAUCE YAAAAAAYYY!!!” Roman screams. I giggle as Roman jumps around and hugs me. Logan laughs along with me as he pulls Roman away.

“calm down Ro, Pat is cooking, you can’t be that close to the hot oven. I’m excited too, yes Ro.” Virgil looks at me questioningly.

“why do they always get us gifts? It seems like every time we see them, they have stacks of presents for us.” I shrug.

“well, I sort of introduced my lifelong friends to my 7, 12, and 15-year-old brothers who were sort of helpless at the time. They like me, but they adore you guys. Some kind of cool grandparent syndrome I guess.” Virgil laughs loudly at this as the pizzas beep. I pull them out to cool and tell some more puns to pass the time. The evening goes on without a hitch, we play a round of word association games as we eat our pizza. I pack up the leftovers in lunch bags for the 4 of us and then clean up the kitchen. As I finish with that, Roman shouts for me to tell him a story.

I tell a story of a brave prince who has to protect his kingdom from a fierce dragon witch. The dragon witch had stolen away the princes soon to be bride. The prince fought through many trials to save his fiancé, however he was beaten to it by another beautiful princess who had won the maidens heart instead. The prince was of course fair, as the princess had fairly bested him, and so he went on a mission to love himself before he went around looking for a fitting bride-or groom, again. Roman sleepily cheers and snuggles into a black cat plush V gave him.

The most difficult to get to sleep is Logan, who just wants to read all night. He changes to a different book just as I walk over to his desk. “Lo, you need to go to bed. You want to be well rested for tomorrow kiddo. You can read your book tomorrow, I promise the ending won’t change, and it won’t leave without you.” He yawns, he has had a long day.

“if I go to sleep will you sing for me? Please?” he looks at me with puppy dog eyes.

“of course, Lo. Bookmark your page and go get ready for bed and I’ll sing for you.” He smiles and rushes off to get ready. He’s back in a few minutes.

“can you sing dads old lullaby? If not its ok but-” I cut him off.

“of course, I can Lo.”

“somewhere there’s someone who wants you to be

How they want you to be, their opinion

They’ll paint you the colors that they wanna see

And to them, its Monet,

But to you, it’s a gray, silhouette

So, pick up a pencil, a stencil, a crayon,

The picture is not finished yet

You can let someone else tell you your story,

You can let someone else tell you what’s true

Or you can set yourself free,

Climb the tallest highest tree,

Or maybe sit back and take in the view,

You can let yourself, let yourself do

Anything.”

By the time I finish the chorus, Logan is sound asleep, snoring softly and cuddling an owl plush. I get up, tuck him in, turn off the lights, then head into the living room. Virgil is laying on the couch with his headphones on full blast. I grab his sleep meds and a cup of water and hand them over to him.

“hey, you shouldn’t listen to your music that loud, it could damage your hearing. You don’t have to listen to me, but I just wanted to let you know. I worry about you guys, you know?” he smiles and takes the meds. He turns down the volume on his headphones and nods.

“sorry Pat, I didn’t realize they were that loud. And, we worry about you too. You do way more for us than you have to. Anyways, thanks for the meds and sleep well okay? Don’t stay up all night again.” I giggle and nod before giving him a quick hug and going to my room.

I do a few pieces of paperwork that I wasn’t able to do before the end of my shift and send a quick text to my vet tech Elenora, checking in on her, as she’s been off on vacation and she’s supposed to be getting back tomorrow, and she has some things she needs to pick up at the office. She’s also absolutely amazing and sweet and beautiful and I love talking to her so so much. But that’s beside the point. After I get all of that done, I check the time, realizing that its now 11:45 and I should have been in bed an hour ago. I quickly fall asleep soon after luckily.

The next day is super-duper hectic so like, hold onto your horses, this is gonna be a wild ride! Okay okay, so I get up at 8 and go shopping, blah blah, tons of coffee because my boys and I have a problem. I unload everything by 10 which is when the kiddos are waking up. Virgil apologizes for not waking up to help but I wave him off as I start to make a small lunch because three meals a day, but Joan and Talyn are probably going to take us out for lunch knowing them, so I don’t want us to lose our appetite, that’d be rude! Anyways I set out the 4 plates and eat mine before going to take a quick shower. By the time I shower and change, all three of them are conversing around the table. I smile fondly because, hey, I helped raise these fantastic kiddos! LOOK AT MY BROTHERS!!! Okay, I’m good now. I walk up to the table and they all smile happily at me before going back to their debate.

“listen, if you have straight caffeine you die, therefore this stuff is totally deadly and like, we’re slowly killing ourselves by drinking it.” Virgil says, being devil’s advocate per usual.

“well yes but that’s like chlorine and sodium!!! They are both deadly elements on their own, but together give us salt! Not to mention that even too much water can kill a human! And! Another point, coffee is a natural occurrence just like water!!! In reasonable quantities, coffee is perfectly safe!!!” Logan rants passionately making me glad that I invested some money into speech and debate for him. Roman grins.

“but if water, coffee, and salt could kill us, does that mean that the world is trying to kill all life on it?!? are we living on a death rock?!? LOGAN IS THE WORLD GONNA KILL US?!?!” his grin slowly gets sadder and more scared as he continues. Logan flinches slightly.

“I mean, technically humans have been killing the earth for years so I wouldn’t put it out of the question that that is the reason that everything on earth is potentially deadly to humans. That would make sense… gosh darn it why do you always send me into steadily collapsing bouts of existentialism?” Logan shakes his head likely jumping into one of his existential crises.

“do I want to know the opening remarks?” I ask and they all shake their heads no. I grab a mug and make myself some creamer with a hint of coffee. Heheh!!! Caramel coffee is very good, but caramel mint coffee is even better! Roman runs off to get changed right as Logan goes to take a quick shower. V asks to change in my room which I am totally ok with because of course!!!

Oh! I should say what we’re wearing shouldn’t I? okay okay, so I wear my favorite pair of khakis, which are quite worn from wear. I wear a pun-ny shirt about dogs, and a tan cardigan with black white and purple plaid shirt underneath. I also have some nice black boots. When Roman comes out, he’s dressed in a red theatre shirt, white jeans, and a white fluffy coat, with his favorite white fluff boots. Logan comes out with his talk nerdy to me tee, black ripped skinny jeans, a black fluffy jacket, black boots, and a snap back. Virgil ends up wearing his nirvana shirt, black ripped skinny jeans, leather jacket, and black converse.

Logan sneaks up behind Roman and puts one of his Disney caps on him. Roman gasps because Lo never shares his hats. He tries to give it back but Lo tells him not to. “I got that one just for you Ro, keep it.” I think RoRo almost cries as he dashes into a cute embrace with Lo. Logan giggles as he sees his baby brother smile. It really is the best feeling ever when you can be the cause of a smile.

Soon after the scene of pure wholesomeness, we head on our way to Joan and Talyn’s house. We are greeted by happy faces and a stack of gifts. This is normal I guess, like V mentioned, they always have piles of gifts for us.

“hiya!!! Glad you could make it! We decided to make a big meal instead of going out, I hope you guys don’t mind?” Talyn grins sheepishly. “and we also invited a couple more people. Sorry we didn’t tell you it was a surprise!”

“a surprise? Who’s here?” I ask, looking around them both to see. There are more gifts than usual. And they’re gift wrapped. Oh gosh what did I forget? Wait… what month is it? oops. I might’ve said that out loud.

“its January Pat.” Joan states simply with a growing grin. Oh god, it’s my birthday soon isn’t it.

“happy early birthday Patton-cake!” Talyn yells happily. Yup. Oh, I’m an idiot. I facepalm.

“I’m glad Joan called me on Monday, otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten your presents from us and brought them over!” V smirks as we walk in. of course they were all plotting against me, I should have known! As I walk in, I see Leo, Jamahl, Dominic, Dahlia, Kenny, Derionna, Rafaela, calypso, and oh god, how did they get Elenora?!? I don’t think I’ve ever even talked about her to them!!! Not to mention that she must be horribly jetlagged!

“oh my god no way!!! I love you guys so much aaaa!!! How do you even know Elie?!?” I say as I go around giving hugs to my friends from back in high school that I’ve missed so much.

“dude, Els is in a bunch of my classes. She never shuts up about work, so it was easy to find out that you guys knew each other. Not to mention her constant fawning over ‘doctor sanders’” Elie punches Joan in the arm.

“listen here bean boozled, are you gonna keep outing me or are we gonna start this party? I estimate the time between now and when I fall unconscious from exhaustion and jetlag is t minus 4 hours.” She states matter of factly. God, I love her, I’m so far gone.

Joan and Talyn attack me with a hat while I’m fantasizing, and they laugh mischievously as they drag me over to the table. Joan’s saying something in one ear and Talyn’s saying something else in my other and I’m confused as heck, but all my friends surround me as well as my baby brothers and start singing at me. I don’t even comprehend what they’re saying because my brain can’t remember the last time I had a surprise party, and its actively making me remember my 14th when my dad and mom threw me a giant birthday bash and it was all day long and we fell asleep in a pile on the couch and before I can stop it all the voices start freaking out and I touch my face and I finally notice that I’m crying, and gosh I just ruined it of course gosh darn it they all went out of their way to make this and now I’m just sad and crying. I feel a thud and finally pay enough attention to see Roman hugging me tightly and apologizing. I pat his head and smile at him before kneeling down and reassuring him.

“Ro Hun, it’s not your fault I’m crying, I just remember mom and dad that’s all. I was caught up in my head but I’m fine. I promise ro. Do you wanna help me blow out the candles?” Roman smiles widely and nods. I pick him up and we blow out the candles together. The others all smile and cheer. Joan stands next to me with a smirk. Oh gosh they’re going to have me do something dangerous and I’m gonna agree because its going to be fun and d a n g e r o u s.

“you realize we are stealing you tomorrow to go barhopping right? Els even offered to dd for us! I mean of course, she’s sorta still underage for a few more months, but yeah, you, me, Talyn, and els are going to have birthday bash part two and its going to sick as Fu-” I cover their mouth before they can finish their swear.

“my baby brothers are here!!! No swearing!!! It’ll hurt their poor innocent ears!!!” I see Virgil and Logan give me a skeptical look before I gesture at Roman and I see their eyes widen in realization, before they nod furiously in agreement. Roman obliviously drags Logan off to play with the bubbles that Joan had gotten to keep the little ones occupied. I uncover their mouth and shoot them a look before giving it up for a smile as I hug them.

“thank you for this Joan, it’s kind of you. You didn’t have to really, haven’t even seen you guys in a few months!”

“that’s exactly why we did it. We don’t need a reason to give the littles gifts, and if we have a reason to give you gifts you won’t turn them down. You never have been one for spontaneous presents, but you know what, I love ya man, and you deserve to get shit on your birthday you oaf. I always felt bad that you wouldn’t let me help you and the kids when we were still in high school. God its been so long now, we’re old pat! You know my mom always tells me that they’d be so proud of you whenever I tell her what you’ve been doing. She actually wanted me to give you something, its wrapped in the pile of gifts.” They winked and nodded over to the living room where far too many gifts in my opinion, were sitting. The rest of my friends were there too, keeping themselves entertained one way or another, and I saw that Logan and Roman were running around outside chasing bubbles.

I go over to the stack and feel immediately intimidated. I hear the door open and Roman and Logan come inside. They sit behind me and I grab the first present that I can reach. The wrapping is purple plaid and Virgil’s name is scrawled on the tag. I open it up and look at my brother with a mocking look as I pull out a pale blue lab coat with dog face emojis.

“oh my gosh you dork I love it!!!” I pull it on quickly, seeing how it fits and beam at him.

“I’m glad. You’ve got another one somewhere from me” ugh of course that’s how there’s so many gifts.

I grab the next one with the same wrapping and rip it open only to see a new surgical kit, which I had been desperately needing to get but had been avoiding. They’re ridiculously expensive and I haven’t had the money to spare. I don’t know how vee could have managed to get that much money, and I don’t understand why he would spend it on me. I feel tears welling up in my eyes for the second time today, and launch myself at Virgil, picking him up and twirling him around. I see Elenora look at the tools out of the corner of my eyes.

“holy crap how did you afford these? This set is worth almost a thousand!” Virgil gives a feeble look as I set him down.

“I’ve been saving up for a few months, no big, you had mentioned you needed a new set a while ago, and I know you wouldn’t let anyone give you one. You can’t give this one back otherwise it’d be wasted so ha I win.” He ends with a smirk, and I punch him in the arm for calling me out on my OCD about work.

I grab my next gift which is a deep red with a matching bow. I peel off the paper and see a Pooh bear onesie and I smile down at it before laying back to smile at Roman who is giggling loudly.

“Lo helped me find it!!! I know you love Pooh, so I thought you’d like it!!!”

“he had tried to get you a size that fit him at first it was really quite adorable. We got him a Tigger one to match but we told him he had to keep it hidden until you got yours.”

I reached out for a hug and instead Roman kissed my nose then pushed me back into a sitting position. I huffed dramatically before grabbing my next gift, from Logan. I rip open the striped paper and see a book called animal madness, about animal mental health, and I feel my smile widen. There’s another book, by Jackson galaxy called total cat mojo and I might have squealed a little bit?

“LOGAN, I LOVE THIS THANK YOU SO MUCH OH MY GOSH OH GEEZ THESE WILL BE SOOOOO HELPFUL!!!!!!” Logan smiles and chuckles softly.

“I had imagined so, you have said that a couple of your patients have had mental issues more than physical and you’ve seen them more often due to their owners not knowing how to treat them, I hope the books hold deeper insight than google.”

I give him a big hug, and then grab the next presents, opening one after another all very sweet but also rather irrelevant gifts including coffee, cooking ware, and fandom stuff. I eventually get to Elenora’s gift though, which I was slightly scared about opening if I’m being honest? It could be anything, what would she get me? I open the rose gold box that holds a few different items. The first I notice is a necklace with a four pawprints on them, each a different color, red, navy, cyan, and purple, and each with me and my brothers’ names. I smile softly at it as I put it on. The next thing in the box is a new stethoscope that matched my light blue theme at work. After that is a build a bear Alolan Vulpix plush with an absolutely adorable cloak and a spare outfit. I squeeze it and it sounds so cute??? I’m so glad I share my obsession with Pokémon with her it makes work that much more enjoyable. The next thing I pull out is a dual sapphire and ruby pop head set and I let out a laugh at it, she knows me so well, I had mentioned I loved their characters and that they reminded me of my mom and dad once offhandedly, and yet she’s gotten me ruby and sapphire things three times now. I pull out a gift card to pizza shop I adore, and the last item in the box is a card that says read later, so I throw a glance her way as I put the card in the pile.

I thank her, and give her a hug, before turning my attention to the last present remaining, the present from Joan’s mom, who was basically my second mom growing up. I pull apart the wrapping hesitantly, and I almost let out a choked sob at what is in the package. It’s a letter from my parents. I cover my mouth as I grab the letter and read it.

“dear Patton, we hope this letter reaches you in good health, and that we are still in contact when you reach 21.” I make some odd strangled noise and my eyes start filling with tears. “no matter how our relationship is, we have a present for you. Patton cake, we know you’re only a year old now, but when you get this, we want you to know that no matter what we love you so so much and we want you to be happy no matter what. So, if you’ll forgive us if we’ve hurt you, we want you to have this glass and drink. Your mom made that glass right after you were born. She believes that the essential gift for a 21-year-old was a wine glass and a nice red wine. This wine is the same one I had on my 21st with my father and I saw it fitting to share it with you. I love you so so much son, and I hope you know that you’re in my heart wherever I am. The same goes for your mother. You know me and how paranoid I am, so this will probably be given to you by my best friend who I don’t doubt will grow close to you. In case anything happens, not that it will.” I don’t think I can breathe anymore oh my god this is from my dad- “but anyways ill stop rambling” no dad please keep talking don’t go please! “happy birthday Patton, you make me and your mom so proud. I love you so much” I wheeze and double over, I can’t breathe my dad, it was almost like he was there again, my dad was there and I-

I open the wrap on the glass, the crystal glass has an imprint that has the words “you’re capable of anything” and me and my parents’ names inscribed in it. Etched in, not just printed, its won’t fade, it will always be there. I look up at the roof to stop my tears, and to hopefully tell my mom and dad I love them if there is an afterlife. I wish I could see them one more time and be able to say goodbye. I can’t, but god it hurts so bad, I miss them so much its not fair they should have been able to come home they should be here they should have been here to see Roman and Logan and Virgil grow up it’s not FAIR GOD DAMN IT!!! I need to calm down, its in the past its over I can’t change it I can just keep going. I take a few deep breaths and wipe my eyes. I set down the glass and look at Joan.

“Joan, I need you to thank your mom for me, I-I owe her so much for this I can’t even properly explain just how much this means to me. If she ever needs anything let me know, I will do anything to help.” Joan nods and smiles at me softly.

I breathe a few more deep breaths before standing up.

“now, that’s enough of that. There’s cake and games!!!”

#tw swearing #tw cursing #tw death mention #tw murder mention #Orphan AU #my writing #my fanfiction #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #joan and talyn #others but just mentioned #my oc #elenora #lots of crying

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wineanddinosaur · 3 years

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From Mixologist to Master Taster, Old Forester’s Jackie Zykan Is Officially a Major Name in Bourbon

Old Forester master taster Jackie Zykan became a household name earlier this year — albeit in a literal sense.

When the brand released the first expression of its highly coveted 117 Series “High Angels’ Share” in March 2021, Zykan etched her name in history by having her signature on the label. The unique packaging design also meant Zykan’s name would soon populate whiskey collections up and down the country — or at least, those of enthusiasts who were lucky enough to get their hands on the limited-edition run.

Any exploration of Zykan’s career cannot ignore that she is among the small number of women to hold a high-profile role in bourbon, an industry that has has a long legacy of male founders, owners, and master distillers. In fact, hers is the first name to adorn an Old Forester label that doesn’t belong to a man. But focusing on the historic nature of her signature on the 117 Series bottle risks distracting from the whiskey inside, and from her growing force within bourbon as a whole.

While the 117 Series is the first Old Forester release to be solely directed by Zykan, it is not the first expression she has had a hand in that had an impact on the bourbon world. Last year, she worked alongside master distiller Chris Morris to comprise three separate blends from 150 barrels for the Old Forester 150th Anniversary Bourbon. Released with a suggested retail price of $150, bottles quickly became collectors’ items and now command four or five times as much in retail channels (and even more in illegal online marketplaces). During the pandemic, Zykan also spearheaded Old Forester’s Master Tasters selection, a popular program that saw single-barrel releases sold for curbside pickup, with a portion of proceeds donated to charities in Louisville.

In a recent virtual sit-down with VinePair, Zykan discussed the singular nature of her role as a master taster; how her previous professional endeavours have led to more “resistance” in the whiskey industry than her gender; and what exactly the release of the 117 Series means to her.

[Editor’s note: This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.]

1. Your official title at Old Forester is “Master Taster.” Can you explain what that role entails and how it differs from a master distiller or a master blender?

As it stands right now, my job focuses more on the post-maturation side of things than the pre-maturation side. I take what’s already been laid down and then decide what to do with it from that point forward. There is no clear-cut, industry-standard definition for master taster. My role, in particular, is half production and half global marketing.

New product development also comes through me. I’m transitioning more into the master blender side, but the main difference between my role and a master blender is the authority to make decisions on certain things. Right now, I’m still working very much hand-in-hand with Chris Morris on a lot of our projects, especially things that he started before I was with the brand. I do lead our single-barrel inventory, though, and programs like the 117 Series and President’s Choice. Every day, I’m getting more involved in projects and taking over Old Forester — whether they want me to or not, I’m doing it.

2. You studied biology and chemistry, then later worked in mixology. How do those different fields inform and help your day-to-day work?

The science education background has been crucial not just to my own understanding of our processes, but also to be able to communicate with a variety of audiences. We’re never just talking to whiskey nerds or bartenders, or the random consumer that only drinks vodka and wants to switch over. The audiences are very diverse. When it comes to new product development, the science background also helps to understand what’s going on from a molecular standpoint, and how to curate different whiskey flavor profiles.

The mixology part is interesting because, while I can’t speak for our competitors, I think I’m the only master taster [Old Forester parent company] Brown-Forman has ever had that has actual experience in the bar industry. Knowing what we can and should be doing with cocktails adds another layer of being able to connect with potential consumers.

3. What trends do you see leading bourbon right now, whether from a “purist” standpoint or the broader market in general?

Different perspectives will give you different answers on this. I think we’re still in the midst of the high-proof movement, and we definitely see that translate into what moves in our portfolio. I wouldn’t say that’s a new thing, and I think there’s a lot behind the high-proof whiskey surge. People get acclimated to the category and realize, “Oh, I actually am not afraid of the taste of this brown spirit.” Then, it’s not enough to just be able to drink bourbon, you have to drink the biggest bourbon and the most expensive bourbon. For somebody that has access to barrel-strength liquid and chooses to not drink it on a regular basis, the race to see who can consume the highest percentage of alcohol is fascinating. Back in the day, nobody was searching for Bacardi 151. Now people wait in line for it.

[Another trend is] single barrels. They’re all very unique, and they’re not replicable; I think the snowflake appeal is a huge part of it. I’ve gotten a lot of feedback from retailers that I’ve done tastings with in recent weeks that want to come to the distillery for single-barrel selection. They don’t want to grab the core stuff anymore.

[We’re also seeing] people play around with mash bills — and you’re always going to see that until people realize that novelty is not sustainable. It’s nice to have fun every now and then, but making sure that you are transparent about your process and doing things from a quality standpoint is timeless.

4. We are around two decades into a “bourbon boom,” the likes of which we have probably never seen before. What can producers such as Old Forester do to ensure that bourbon never goes the way of vodka, which still enjoys incredible sales but doesn’t quite have the cachet that it once did?

There’s a lot of interesting things to unpack here but I [should first say] we are very grateful for the boom. People such as myself have amazing jobs with great brands because of it.

I was once told that alcohol trends go through 30-year cycles, so if we really are in the second decade of this, that would mean that we would start to see the decline soon. The thing is, in the U.S. especially, we’re so much closer to the trend, so the boom seems much bigger to us than it is on a global level. It is creeping into global markets now, and we are seeing a lot more movement out there, but I think that there’s still a lot of opportunity for growth until we get to a point of saturation and exhaustion.

[When] other markets further from home (and maybe less regulated) start catching wind, that’s when we risk compromises to the category. I think we are in for a fight that most people probably haven’t anticipated, trying to [enforce] more rigid regulations, especially in more global markets.

We definitely don’t see [the boom] fizzling out any time soon and, fingers crossed, we hope it doesn’t. It’s not like the vodka industry where you can just pluck a flavor off a tree and you have a new product. We’re sitting on inventory and hoping for the best.

5. What is the most exciting time of the year for you in your role, and what do you look forward to most on the bourbon calendar throughout the year?

It used to be that you had the “busy” seasons: September is always busy because of [the annual release of] Birthday Bourbon, and it’s Bourbon Heritage Month. And when the weather starts cooling down in general, you start to see more interest in aged spirits. That is just not the case anymore. It’s a year-round season that does not slow down. From my perspective, Derby season is always equally as chaotic as it is enjoyable; very media-heavy and very taxing. It‘s full-throttle but these are great problems to have.

6. Can you describe how having your signature on the 117 Series felt for yourself, and what it might mean for other women wishing to follow in your footsteps in the bourbon industry?

It’s still surreal, to be honest, and I forget that my name is on the thing. It wasn’t my idea; it was brought up when we were doing label design for the series and [Old Forester president and managing director] Campbell Brown said, “It’s time to give credit where credit is due.”

I think it’s a big deal as far as normalizing [women in] an industry that was, and still is, very male-dominated. I never set out to do that; I didn’t grow up to one day to show them that girls like whiskey, too. More often than not, though, I feel resistance in the whiskey category not from being a woman, but from having a background behind the bar. You get categorized as “once a bartender, always a bartender.” Not a lot of people in roles like mine have that background, as I mentioned earlier. A lot of them either have family members that got them into the business or they have marketing degrees, which I do not. I feel more “black sheep-ish” — if I can use that term — from that sense, rather than from being a woman.

While it is surreal, I will say that when that product came out, it was very nerve-racking. It set the stage for what I’m going to do from this point forward in my career. If I didn’t get it right, it would be a constant fight against the current, trying to prove myself. If I came out of the gate with something solid that people embraced, it would be more smooth-sailing. I’m very happy that the series was well received because that gives me a lot less stress for the next expressions. I know they won’t be all home runs — and that’s OK. It started with a really good one that’s near and dear to my heart.

7. I’ve read that your preferred pour for the 117 Series is over ice to enjoy it over time. That seems to speak to your background in mixology versus pure distillation, especially as some “purists” might raise their eyebrows at that?

I’ve definitely gotten mixed feedback on that since we released the series. I could have bottled it at a higher or lower proof and I would still say, add water to it. The idea remains that when you have barrels that have such concentrated flavor to them, it’s an experience. It’s not taking a sip and then going on with your day. It’s a sit-down, share-it, and talk-about-it whiskey. The moment of whiskey is just as important as the actual liquid itself. It’s a ritual. I didn’t want to shortchange that by going ahead and skipping to the good parts. Letting people explore with it was really part of the intention.

The article From Mixologist to Master Taster, Old Forester’s Jackie Zykan Is Officially a Major Name in Bourbon appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/jackie-zykan-old-forester-bourbon/

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johnboothus · 3 years

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From Mixologist to Master Taster Old Foresters Jackie Zykan Is Officially a Major Name in Bourbon