#i had always wanted to make a mock album cover for em

[autoboros]

Decided to bring back some splatband ocs I made in around October 2022 since I never really drew em but I really love them

Plus a sketch page I did earlier of the girl

#interactions very appreciated i am very proud of my idiots here #i had always wanted to make a mock album cover for em #but i feel like i kiiiinda may have scuffed the background but idk #splatoon ocs #splatoon #splatbands #splatband ocs #their names are Surashu (boyo) and Hogaraka (girlie) #art

[9w1ft]

feels a little early to be writing a year-in review but i find myself in a quiet moment so i thought i’d tap a few things out

in 2019, in all facets of my life, i faced a challenge of some sort and i surprised myself as i held my ground more often than ran away, which felt new. what *also* felt new was this sense of ease i began having professionally, when it came to conceptualizing and making decisions. sorta feels like a lot of things are crystallizing.

in terms of life on here, i didn’t have TSL for the majority of the year (anybody out there remember TSL?!) so i busied myself with crafting fun memories on my own. there were spans of weeks where i’d just get on a tear and run into one new thing after the other and it was all really just fantastic. i gave myself permission to indulge in the most decadent of things and to follow the most mercurial of assumptions to places i thought closed off.

i’m pretty sure i’ve smiled and laughed more over this year than i ever have in my entire life. no joke.

here are some kaylorverse moments that brought me joy in 2019:

it’s nice to have a friend

2018 was my first year being a kaylor and i just sort of was moreover on the contributor or commenter side of things so 2019 was interesting in that when taylor really leaned into the gay imagery leading up to album release, i started getting newer people sending me stuff! and asking me my takes on things! and like, my words suddenly had weight for some reason? it felt weird but i truly enjoyed getting to talk with so many different people and hear their ideas and laugh and such. that was markedly different from last year. from within this, 79-swift reached out to me with the eye theory, the most beautiful and rare of observations by a singularly lovely individual that i have dedicated my life to protecting and promoting. and i feel like i’ve gotten to know many people i knew through 2018 more deeply and have come to accept the role i play, lean in to it, and formulate my own truth of the matter, and that sort of heightened perspective on it has been a blessing and i’m so thankful for this strange sense of camaraderie that has formed with many of you? thank you??? and my conviction, and my wishes, for the girls to find happiness have only strengthened this year... im committed to seeing this through whether people like it or not!! harumph!

block ‘em

i also started proactively curating my experience.. that’s right! i began blocking trolls with reckless abandon, and i turned anons off! 😂 and damn it’s so much more worthwhile of a time on here when you set aside people that only want to ruin your day.

i got over my fear of eyeballs!!

😂 no seriously, body horror and in particular eyes out of context was actually sort of a thing that previously creeped me out BUT LOOK AT ME NOW. i’m gonna do my best not to rehash the eye theory, please read the post and recall the number of times i filipped out 😂 each and every one is precious to me

also

geeking out with bert and ernie gifs with kaylorfossil and making empsmd-blog drop her debit card need a mention.

the ME! music playlist.

i fell in love with so many songs and like, running into eye motifs in so many of the songs, lyrically and visually, was the most hilarious thing. but really just a lot of the songs really tapped at my soul with an ice pick and i even went to go see The Japanese House live in Osaka which was transcendental and i’m just so thankful for having taylor introduce Good At Falling to me because it was a *necessary* album.

i made and collected stuff

i made and amassed many artifacts that one day i can look back on and remember what a wild ride it has been. some favorites are my procuring of the pixel art heart ring from the ME! mv (a nod to my tsl days..), as well as the evil eye ring.. i didn’t physically make this but the eye theory made the taydar podcast and there’s nothing i enjoy more in this world than making someone giggle and i just love that the episode exists. making that kaylor straw was 👌 working on a mock-up of the golden locket has been very satisfying. i started incorporating fun kaylor winks into my artwork as well which was fun, and i also commissioned a collage from the very talented and lovely valheria and i couldn’t have asked for anything better 🥰

wildin in the TS7 tag was the best.

i made this observation that there’s this type of cocoon that looks like a cobra, which transforms into a butterfly over a period of 13 days, and like, the post got so many notes and i just had a lot of swiftie eyeballs all of a sudden on my blog which led to some hilarity. but honestly i just love geeking out over theories and it’s fun to get to do that as fans of taylor at large. things felt warm and effervescent.

my newspaper subscription

i subscribe to the TTB Times and let me just say the submissions and anons this year were overwhelmingly a delight to read through every day. also like, we did get cued in to stuff before album release and i am just thankful that there are people out there both who want to give us that and people who work to help them give us that. thank you ttb for moderating your blog (my newspaper of choice) however it is that you do and to everyone that contributed to her blog.

the whole lead up to the ME! video release

so glorious... but particular the hour before. i was rushing to pick up my kid from school and suddenly i kept getting messages from people that taylor was covering her face and framing her eyes, and i was like oh please yeah sure BUT THEN when the snake in the video had a blank eye like i don’t think you guys understand i had to wait at a bus stop and exchange pleasantries with the other moms but it was a *five alarm fire* in my mind

cause shade never made anybody less gay

stealing away to listen to YNTCD for the first time and hearing Taylor Alison Swift use the word gay in a released song for the first time was a transcendental moment

karlie’s hand in the YNTCD mv.

‘nuff said

daisies. daisies everywhere.

taylor said daisy kaylor rights, and she said it everywhere. *everywhere*. cannot, will not, get over how blessed we are.

gay gay gay gay gay.... taylor’s

sorry not sorry that wiz khalifa collab with elohim on her track FYM was ethereal and i still hope it’s a part of the preshow playlist for Lover Fest

clue hunting in klossy videos and karlie ads

call me a corporate shill all you want like, there’s always a little something in there and i also enjoy the little flickers of goofy karlie that jump out from time to time. and i know this is not the case for everyone but post eyepocalypse, karlie leaning in, winking that eye of hers time and time again was just pique comedy for me and it always made me chuckle. the brands karlie has repped have been really laying it on thick too and it’s been a joy to see. when taylor does it with her music it’s art, and for me karlie’s media presence is a form of art too 😌

oh kaptain my kaptain

kimby liked a comment of mine on her insta which was a distinct honor and privilege 😌 and really she was dropping clues left and right through spring up until she got her snazzy new job and things calmed down 🥰 of which i am so proud talk about an on brand job! also partially clearing the air about my TSL theory and the lead up to clearing that air was quite fulfilling for me and i am forever grateful for the time we shared. and to this point, the seesters in general (and kurt omg) have been quite active all year and we don’t deserve it but they’ve stuck around and it’s been calming.

album cover art release on the livestream

LIKE I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE NEVER HAD A FOURTH WALL BROKEN SO DULY

i love you forever, thank you for everything

when taylor came to visit tokyo this year i was basically reenacting the swamp scene from OOTW trying to get a ticket to the secret event... i listened to ME! on LINE MUSIC for over 2000 plays, i bought multiple CD’s, it was such an ordeal and then to not have a ticket after all but still putting on my thinking cap and managing to figure out where the event was while i was at disney sea and literally running from disney sea to the venue in high heels with The Man playing on my phone was oscar-worthy and actually *being correct* and the moment i knew i was correct and how i knew i was correct was so amazing 😉 and i play by the rules so i didn’t try to get in without a ticket and i didn’t lurk. but just to have figured it out and validated it was such a thrill. seeing her on TV live was amazing as well ///

lost in japan, reprise

oh and, last year for rep tour there was this theory i had which didn’t pan out but it had to do with the clues i thought shawn mendes was dropping through autumn 2018 and anyway that’s a story for another day but as i was bopping around town, looking for lockets, staying in rooms i have no business being in, drinking lots of whisky...just to know that while i was doing *everything but* successfully meeting taylor, she literally phoned shawn and had him record lines for that eye theory remix like, i will never ever, like, guys. guys. 😂 it’s too perfect for words. the world is weird like that sometimes.

Lover

and omg Lover the album? i absolutely love lover and i loves that honeymoon period of theorizing and parallel unearthing that we did and i love how slightly creepy-cute it is and i love the whole wabi-sabi thing going on and i absolutely love every song on the album, every one, they all have so much meaning to me... and each one is teeming with little blips and bloops and sound samples and seconds of silence and i love all the brass instruments and so many lush moments... i guess my shortlist (in no particular order) would be the archer, lover, i think he knows, daylight, cruel summer, false god, cornelia street, ME! (yea i really like me 🥰). and to think about everything that went in to the album and the thrill of what it might have been and the vastness of what we don’t know, but like, the weight of that potential?? it’s like this vast pastel and black abyss of drowsy and deep feelings and i love every inch of it. it’s a vibe that reflects so much of what this year has been for me and i’m happy to have existed in this time to have had it with me.

jesus this has gotten too long, and i still have like 24 more things to write out but um, basically, as i’m sure you’ve been able to assume? i wanted to say that despite 2019 being somewhat of a slasher film affair for our fandom, i still had a goddamn great time this year and i hope everyone can find some good memories and relive them as well 🥰

#kaylor #much love to you all!! #all eyes on us

[turtlepated]

Pate I'm drunk I want PateDew HCs pleeeeease

@pastelnacht

Oh are you now? Lol, well I will do my best to provide! 

Let's see... PateDew is pretty open-ended so hows about I hit you with the half-formed vaguely self-insert WIP that’s been sitting in my Google Docs for weeks now: 

----

You’d been stressed out at work lately, stressed enough that two days simply wasn’t enough time to fully decompress. So when a couple of your coworkers invited you out for drinks after work, you decided to tag along. Why not? 

The Roadhouse bar was a bit more… rustic than you’d expected for a bunch of office workers like yourselves, but it seemed like the perfect place to lose yourself and unwind for an evening. It was loud, both from the rowdy patrons and the jukebox in the corner, smelled strongly of cigarette smoke and cheap booze and greasy food. Not somewhere you’d ordinarily venture on your own, but it was a nice enough distraction. 

After a couple beers you had a pleasant buzz going. Somebody at the jukebox set Don’t Stop Believin’ to playing and a cheer went up. Grinning widely you swayed back and forth in time to the piano overture and belted along to the first verse about the “lonely girl livin’ in a lonely world”, emboldened by the alcohol and the giggling of your colleagues. 

You spun around, startled, when another voice chimed in just as loudly behind you, picking it up with the “city boy, born and raised in south Detroit”, meeting a pair of brown eyes barely discernible under a mop of messy brown curls. 

And that was how you first met Dewey Finn, both of you belting along to the Journey favorite while other patrons booed and shushed you, pelting you with peanut shells while you both just laughed. 

It didn’t take long to learn pretty much all there was to know about Dewey Finn: he was easy going, funny and energetic and sweet, practically lived at the Roadhouse, and he loved rock music more than anything else. Even when sitting down he was always tapping his foot or thumping his hand against his knee, keeping rhythm with the song playing in his head. 

The two of you were fast friends and the Roadhouse became a regular watering hole for you. Dewey was fun and fascinating, so passionate about whatever topic happened to be under discussion that you couldn’t help getting excited right along with him. 

You bonded quickest over your overlapping tastes in music. While Dewey considered himself more of a purist (classic rock being the pinnacle of human achievement as far as he was concerned), few things seemed to thrill him more than sharing his music with you. The two of you sat across from one another in “your” booth at the Roadhouse, tipsy and giggly, having swapped phones to compare playlists. As expected, Dewey’s phone was full to bursting with AC/DC, Aerosmith, Black Sabbath, Van Halen, Guns n Roses, Rolling Stones. 

“Oh my God,” he laughed, turning your phone around to show you the screen. “Are you serious?” You flushed, embarrassed, covering your face with one hand. 

“Okay, look,” you began. “I didn’t get to have a Britney phase when I was a kid because I didn’t have any money to buy albums! And by the time I did Britney was considered cringey and I was too young to know that there’s no such thing as cringe! So I have to have my Britney phase now!” 

Your rebuttal only made Dewey laugh harder, his cheeks rosy and his eyes glittering both from the mirth and the drinks. He held up his hands in mock surrender. “Ah, I’m only messin’ with you! Though I’m impressed that you had like a whole defense just ready to go!” He turned his head, glancing around conspiratorially before leaning towards you over the tabletop, crooking a finger at you invitingly. Giggling, you folded your arms and leaned in on your elbows. 

“Not like Britney needs a defense,” he admitted, grinning, rapping the flat of his palm on the table between you to keep the beat as he started singing. “My loneliness is killin’ me!”

Without missing a step you chimed right in, “And I, I must confess, I still believe!” By the time you got to “Hit me, baby, one more time!” you were both almost incoherent from a fit of laughter, ignoring the vocal annoyance of the other regulars seated around you. 

Looking back, you considered that to be the moment you fell in love with Dewey Finn. 

If you were honest with yourself, that moment was probably when the two of you first sang along with Steve Perry, but you couldn’t help feeling a little silly and even cliched. The whole “love at first sight” schtick. 

In an ideal world, you could simply pluck up your courage and come right out and tell him how you felt. In an ideal world, he would tell you he felt the same way. The two of you might even exchange a tender kiss, if the romance in movies was anything to go on. 

But the world was not ideal. 

He did eventually tell you about the bizarre circumstances that led to his current job, which he so clearly loved and talked about constantly. Hearing the whole surreal tale, from start to finish, was a rollercoaster of subterfuge and deceit, plus a dash of identity theft and sprinkled with heartfelt personal growth. You joked with him that he ought to sell the story to a producer, get a movie deal. Jack Black would make a very believable Dewey Finn, you said, and he snorted into his drink. 

So many unexpected things had come about for him as a result of his improbable plan; not just a job but a career, one that he was passionate about, that excited him every day! Reveling in the talent of his students, their eagerness to learn and explore, seeing them progress and get better and better… It was a feeling that he’d only ever experienced before when playing a show, but now he got to feel it almost every day! In his wildest dreams, he’d never have even thought of where he was now in order to have wished for it. If the kids, his amazing, talented, face-shredding students had come as a shock, then their uptight, pencil-skirted, no-nonsense, secret rocker principal had thrown him for the biggest loop. 

It wasn’t until after the two of you had been friends for awhile (and after Dewey had thrown back a couple shots of tequila on top of his two and a half pints of beer) that he told you about Rosalie Mullins beyond “she’s my boss. Sort of.” 

Even Dewey was willing to concede that he took her out for drinks initially as a ploy to get her to agree to let him take his “class” to the band competition. The kiss that followed their conversation at the Roadhouse had been impulsive on his part, he hadn’t even thought about it at the time, there had been more pressing matters on his mind. In the aftermath of his unmasking; between the threats of arrest and homelessness, his adolescent band rallying his spirits and delivering a powerhouse performance; so many highs and lows in such a short expanse of time, it wasn’t until Rosalie Mullins grabbed his face afterwards and kissed him that it even dawned on him that there might be something to it. 

They’d gone out after things returned to normal, but after a few months of on-again-off-again they decided they were better as friends, as colleagues. Or rather, Dewey admitted a tad bitterly after finishing a third pint and another shot of tequila, Rose had decided they weren’t a good fit romantically and didn’t want to jeopardize their working relationship. 

“I really liked her, though,” he said with a sigh, slumping in the bench seat across from you and toying with the empty shot glass. “Smart, classy, beautiful.” You sat with your arms folded on the tabletop, trying not to let it show that each word struck you like a knife in the heart, wanting to be supportive in the midst of his disappointment because that’s what friends did for one another. Regardless of what you were feeling, it was clear he was still carrying a torch for the principal and when he showed you pictures he had kept on his phone you could see why. 

She truly was very pretty, very put -together, as stark a contrast as she could be in her perfectly tailored blazers and skirts to you in your jeans and T-shirts. You couldn’t help but feel ridiculous and petty, jealous of a woman you didn’t know, had never even spoken to just because the man you loved was still hung up on her. 

It didn’t matter anyway, because whatever your feelings may be, Dewey obviously didn’t feel the same about you, not when his heart was still set on Miss Mullins. 

You put it out of your mind, willfully ignoring it because at least you could still be his friend. No matter how heartsick it made you when his laugh or his smile made your heart swell and you wanted so much to kiss him but you couldn’t. You just couldn’t do that, it would ruin everything. 

As the weeks passed it got… maybe not easier to bear, but you grew used to the gnawing ache inside and you learned to ignore it. You barely even noticed it anymore. Things began to change when Dewey left you a very boisterous and excited voicemail, telling you to meet him at the Roadhouse after work because he had “huge, unbelievable, amazing news!” You had no idea what he could be talking about but whatever it was he met you at the door, practically bouncing like a puppy. 

In between corralling him into a booth and placing your drink orders with the waitress, you finally got him to calm down enough to tell you what he had to say. 

“Every year the country club crowd throws this big charity fundraiser for the city, and since a lot of em are Horace Green parents or alums, this year the school is hosting the charity and School of Rock is lined up to play the whole event! Isn’t that awesome?!” 

You beamed at him, his elation contagious. In the year since their formation and debut, Horace Green’s official student band (led by their music coach, Dewey Finn) had garnered a fair bit of publicity with their electrifying performance at the battle of the bands competition. Despite losing the contest, they had been the unequivocal crowd favorite and the school had enjoyed some very positive press in the midst of their growing popularity. 

But a gig like this would elevate the band to a whole new level, Dewey animatedly explained. You couldn’t help getting swept up in his mounting excitement, almost giddy to see him so wholeheartedly invested in the project. Naturally, you offered to be of whatever help you could to help him pull off such an important show. The band deserved it, and so did he. And if it meant you’d be seeing a whole lot more of Mr. Finn in the coming weeks, well… that would just be a bonus. 

#dewey finn #dewey x reader #dewey x self insert #school of rock #post cannon #if I decide to keep going with this it's gonna get angsty lolol #but I hope this is sweet enough to scratch your itch!

[jamesmydeer]

hello love! can i request 92 with sirius please?

No Sleep Till New Year x Sirius Black

thank you for the request! sorry if you don’t like beastie boys, but their debut album is easily one of my favorites and came out at a convenient time for me to write about :)) as always, feedback: appreciated.

xoxo

masterlist

92. “ Are you drunk? “

Y/n had never been a party person. Not even in her school years had she enjoyed the rambunctious affairs that would take place in her common room. Although this has evoked much teasing from her friends, she thought that they would someday grow out of the party scene themselves. Maybe she didn’t know her friends too well.

“Of course I’ll watch Harry, Lils. No, not a burden at all. I’ll be at your’s in a few. Love you too. Bye,” y/n said, putting the phone back on the receiver. She chuckled lightly to herself. Of course they were going to a party to celebrate the new year. It agitated her a bit that she hadn’t called earlier. She wondered what Lily would’ve done if she had plans. But, there was no one she would rather have at her side at the start of the new year than her sweet godson that she loved dearly.

Y/n showed up at the Potter’s house at around 7 o’clock. She was immediately overwhelmed with the smell of Lily’s perfume. She could hear James’ voice coming from the kitchen. She walked to the doorway and saw Harry giggling up at his father, who was dancing to the music that was playing from Harry’s toy boom box.

Harry’s eyes eventually met the ones of his godmother, and he went to run up and hug her, but she quickly put her finger to her lips and pointed at James. She smirked, walking up behind him and imitating his dance moves. James, too in the moment to notice, thought that Harry was really eating his dance moves up. James went to do a spin move and was surprised to see y/n standing behind him, doing the same dance he had just been doing. He shook his head, a small smile creeping up his face.

“How long have you been here?”

“Maybe five minutes.”

“So you haven’t been laughing at me?” James asked Harry, a pout forming on his face. Harry made a thin line with his lips, solemnly shaking his head.

“Sorry, aunt y/n was being funnier.”

James’ jaw dropped and his hand flew to his chest in mock offense. Once Harry started to chuckle again, James turned around abruptly, throwing a glance over his shoulder, winking at his son. He turned back to y/n, kissing her in the cheek.

“Thank you so much for watching the twerp,” he said, making sure the ‘twerp’ came out louder than the rest of his sentence. Harry scoffed behind him, muttering a “hey”.

“I’m going to go alert the wife that you’re here,” he stated, turning and running up the stairs. Y/n shook her head and smiled softly at the man who hadn’t changed over the past 9 years they had been out of school for. Her head quickly jerked forward when two small arms wrapped around her and squeezed her. She smiled, laying her head on top of his and picking him up, spinning around with him in her arms. He laughed loudly, stumbling around a little when she let him down. Harry looked up at her with a mischievous grin on his face.

“Did you bring it?” he asked looking around to see if he could find what he was looking for. Of course y/n had brought it. They had talked about it last time she had been over, both of them knowing she would inevitably be the one to watch him on December 31st.

“Did I bring what?” she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, looking down at the boy as if she was completely oblivious. Harry tilted his head to the side, unamused. He glanced at the couch and saw her bag. He looked back up at y/n and smiled, before running to the couch and fumbling through her bag.

“Careful Har Bear, records break easily you know?” she teased the eager boy. Harry pulled his hands out of her bag and brought them behind his back, smiling down towards the ground bashfully. Y/n reached down and started tickling the young boy. He was laughing and squirming vigorously.

“Say it,” y/n stated, not going to stop until she made her godson surrender.

“Never!”

“Say it!”

“No-ah!” He tried to get out, his own involuntary shriek cutting him off.

“Say it or I’m not stopping.”

“Uncle!”

“M’not your uncle.” She grinned down at the boy.

“Aunt! Aunt, aunt, aunt!” Harry yelled, out of breath.

“Don’t think that’s very fair, y/n.” an amused voice said from the doorway. “Uncle is the universal term for ‘I give up’. Can’t just go switching the rules up on my boy like that.” James stated, a smiling Lily behind him.

“Well don’t you two look lovely,” y/n quipped, taking in the couple’s appearance. She had always thought they looked good together; they were both very attractive people.

“Why thank you, y/n,” lily smiled, walking over to hug her. “We should be back no later than two, but if something were to happen, we’ll let you know,” she said, kissing her son’s forehead.

“You two behave. I don’t want another call from Mrs. Bagshot saying it sounds like pots and pans banging together all up and down the street,” James smirked, causing y/n to look down at Harry and roll your eyes.

“I have to repeat myself everytime I talk to her. Beastie Boys are loud, but they’re not that loud dad,” Harry stated, earning a stern look from his mother and a proud smile from his father. The six year old’s taste in music had always impressed y/n. He was very grown up for his age, obviously talking after his mother and herself.

“We shall return,” James said, performing his and Harry’s handshake and kissing the top of his head.

“No boys.” James stated, throwing you a wink. Him and his son both started to sing their rendition of ‘Y/n and Sirius sitting in a tree’. She still wasn’t sure how they all knew about her crush. They always just said it was obvious. It was just a silly crush though, y/n knew it was not realistic. A silly crush that had lasted for close to ten years.

The couple then walked out of the door, throwing out one last “behave” before shutting it.

Harry turned to his godmother, tapping his foot eagerly. Her heart swelled as he reminded her so much of the marauders. They always wanted to listen to whatever records she had in her dorm, quickly becoming obsessed with the artist for a week, before moving swiftly on to another. This is exactly how Harry was.

“Which one first?” she asked, already knowing the answer. She pulled out Licensed to Ill and started walking toward the turntable. Harry opened his mouth, but quickly shut it seeing that y/n had already read his mind.

He started to jump around as the first song, Rhymin and Stealin’, rang throughout the house.

“This is gonna be a long night,” Y/n thought before joining Harry in his dancing escapade.

—————————————————————

Y/n thought that Harry would want to listen to the record two times tops, then switch over to some of his other favorites. She had tried to put on Rubber Soul, but Harry just wasn’t having it.

It was now 10:40, and Harry was out cold. He had fallen asleep on the couch while she had gotten up to fix him some milk, hoping it might coax him into sleep. When she returned, she smiled down at the boy, reaching out for a blanket and pulling it over him. She sat down in hopes of herself being able to go to sleep too. She started to drift off, until she was jostled awake by the start of Fight For Your Right. She huffed, abruptly standing and trudging over to turn the record player off alltogether. She was interrupted by a knock on the door.

Contemplating whether she should turn off the music or open the door first, she chose the latter. Tiptoeing towards the door in hopes of not waking Harry, her intentions were in vain when she opened the door to a very handsome, very plastered friend of hers.

“‘Ello love. What’re yah doin here?” he asked, a genuine smile forming on his face. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes had a layer of gloss covering them. She smiled amusingly at him.

“Fawn-sitting. Are you drunk?” she asked, obviously knowing the answer to her question.

Sirius laughed at the first part, only to straighten up and look at her in an attempt to tell her he was, in fact, not drunk. She raised her eyebrows at him, letting him know that she knew he was indeed wasted.

“A little. Where’s H?

“Sleeping, and I’d like for it to stay that way.,” she quipped, throwing him a playfully stern look. It seemed as though he was going to retort, but he quickly looked towards the living room with a curious expression on his face. His eyes landed on the source of the music he was hearing, and he walked clumsily towards it.

“What is that?”

“Music.”

“S’not what I *hiccup* meant.” he said, laughing at himself a little.

She chuckled and walked to stand beside him.

“They’re called the Beastie Boys. They’re rappers from New York.”

“Thought your didn’t like rap music?” he teased, knowing that anytime James had tried to make y/n listen to any MC’s, she would promptly walk out of the room.

“I don’t, but I like them. They’ve got good instrumentals they rap over.”

Sirius nodded at that, sitting down on the arm of the chair she had almost fallen asleep in earlier. She sat down beside him, noticing him still staring at the record. She took this time to look at him. She couldn’t remember a time she had truly looked at him since school. He was still handsome. He had cut his hair since school, deciding that it ‘got in the way while he was driving’. His eyes had grown to retrieve the playful gleam that they had lost during the time of the war. He had decided the moment the war ended that he was going to litter his body with ink. Y/n could see some peeking through the sleeve of his shirt. As she glanced back up at his face, she wondered why he was here on a night like this.

“Why aren’t you out with the rest of ‘em?” she asked, fiddling with her shirt.

“Not much of a partier.” he said, looking at her with a melancholy expression on his face.

“We both know that’s a lie. I’ve never known Sirius Black to miss out on a party, especially when he gets a guaranteed kiss at midnight.” she said, her heart aching a bit at the truth of the statement.

“Maybe the one I want to kiss wasn’t at the party.”

He stared into her eyes. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her. She shifted under his heated stare, letting her eyes trail to the clock. 2 minutes til midnight. She pushed his prior statement to the back of her mind and stood up to turn off the record, which was now softly playing Hold It Now, Hit It, and turned on the radio.

“You know I used to think you were odd in school. What with the not partying and all. I get it now though. S’not very practical now.” Sirius said, looking at her with a soft smile on his face. He shifted his head to look up at the ceiling. “You know I was telling the truth. You’re the only person I want to kiss. Always have been. Just never thought you wanted to kiss me back. Know now though. Moony told me. Good lad. He said-“

“Sirius, your rambling.” she said, trying to dismiss the fact that he knew she indeed wanted to kiss him back.

“Please kiss me” he pleaded.

“Sirius you’re drunk.” she said, earning a bored face from Sirius.

“Y/n you’re sober. Kiss me.” He hoped she would say yes more than anything. However, he knew that as long as he was drunk, he wouldn’t get a kiss.

“How about this, when you wake up in the morning, if you still want to kiss me, then go for it.”

Sirius pouted at her. He sprawled his body across her legs, head resting on the other arm of the chair. As the voices on the radio started counting down, Sirius’ puppy dog eyes grew sadder. As the new year began, y/n leaned down and pecked Sirius on the cheek.

“You’re cute Pads, you know that?” she said, smiling softly at the boy that was pouting up at her.

“It just so happens I do. Now get up.” he stated matter-of-factly.

“What?”

“Get up. It’s time we play some real music.”

Y/n scoffed at him.

“Mom you’re just jealous it’s the Beastie Boys,” she muttered to herself. Sirius casted her a strange look, causing her to shake your head and look towards Harry’s room, where Sirius had moved him to sleep soundly and ‘not wake up with a bad back’. She wished he was awake to understand her reference.

—————————————————————

Remus, James, and Lily all entered the Potter home at 3 o’clock. The two men were just about as drunk as Sirius, Lily having to lead them through the door. She told Remus to stay put as she helped her husband up the stairs. As the couple rounded the corner, Remus made his way into the living room. His eyes went big when he saw his two best friends asleep cuddled up together on a chair that was far too small for them.

“Remus what are you- oh merlin.” Lily stated, jaw dropping at the sight before her.

“What? What? I wanna see!” James announced, squeezing inbetween both of them. He glanced around the room in search of what they were looking at. When his eyes landed on his child’s godparents, he quickly understood the ‘oh merlin’ statement.

“What the hell? Thought I said no boys.” he said a bit too loudly, promptly waking up the sleeping couple. Y/n’s eyes fluttered open and landed on the group standing before her with smirks on their face. She blushed and nudged her face into Sirius’ chest. He looked down at her and smiled fondly. He ran a hand through her hair, glancing up at his disturbers unamusedly.

“Don’t you guys knock?” he quipped.

“Not on my own door, no. Where’s my son?”

“His bed.”

With that, the couple turned to go check on him, seemingly not believing the pair.

Y/n chuckled and attempted to go back to sleeping in Sirius’ arms. He placed two fingers under her chin, coaxing her face towards his. They were centimeters apart. Y/n could feel Sirius’ breath on her face. A blush started to creep its way up her neck.

“It’s morning.” Sirius said, a cocky smirk on his face. He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers, looking down to see if it was alright. She looked back up at him and chuckled, bringing a hand to the back of his head and pulled him back in. The kiss was short and sweet, but it was enough to leave them a giggling mess, their foreheads pressed together.

As James stood next to Remus in the doorway, he threw a confused glance towards him, then towards the two, giggling like school girls.

“Allow me to reiterate. What the hell?”

#harry potter #marauders #marauders hc #harry potter imagine #harry potter hc #harry potter imagines #hp #hp imagine #sirius #sirius black #sirius black hc #sirius black imagine #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagines #the marauders

[amoralto]

Playgirl: Paul! (June, 1982)

(Note: I’ve been wondering if I should include more full articles/interviews on the blog, i.e. pieces that are not already available and/or hosted online. This is one of them - more of an overview/feature piece, but worth a read nonetheless. For Paul and Linda’s 1985 interview w/ Playgirl, I typed it up a while ago here. Previous quote posts from both articles: here, here.) 

-

by Mark Rowland

He turns 40 this month, and if he is anything like the rest of us, the last 20 must feel as close as yesterday. Was it really so long ago that four working-class chums from a dingy English port town sang and laughed and shook their mop-tops to signal a crumbling of the old order and a hailing of the new? You look for the signs of age in recent photographs, but the changes are so subtle—a slight hollowing of those cherubic cheeks, perhaps a hint of wariness in eyes that used to sparkle with playful coquetry. Yes, time has been a gentle thief.

The lad who stole girls’ hearts all ’round the world is a husband of 13 years standing, and the father of four. The inveterate rock ’n’ roller divides his time between home and studio, now surfacing to promote a new album (Tug of War, Columbia), soon disappearing back into the mists of his Scotland farm. Which is just as it should be. Paul McCartney, handsome and rich and brimming with easy charm—and still the mirror in which we seek the reflection of our own youthful dreams.

“I like Walt Disney cartoons—they sort of live forever.” Paul McCartney

In fact, the last decade has not treated Paul all that kindly. When it becan he was, quite simply, a hero. By its close he’d become the subject of casual ridicule, a turnabout engineered in part by the mocking comments of his former best friend and musical compatriot, John Lennon. Any critical appraisal of his band, Wings, was bound to include unflattering comparisons to the Beatles and/or snide references to the credentials of its keyboard player, who just happened to be Paul’s wife.

And then there was Wings’ disastrous final episode, a triumphant tour of Japan that abruptly terminated when customs officials unearthed a hefty cache of marijuana in Paul’s luggage. Instead of Budokan’s concert stage, McCartney commenced a 10-day engagement “live” in the local jail, regaling his fellow inmates with renditions of “Yesterday” and “Mull of Kintyre”. Then he was deported.

“He certainly received quite a shock,” recalls Michael McCartney, Paul’s brother and the author of an affectionate family history entitled The Macs (Delilah Communications, Ltd.). “But even worse was the way the media deliberately distorted his situation. When I said I was angry at what was happening, for instance, they made it sound like I was angry at Paul. So just at the crucial moment, when the court is weighing judgment, they read the papers and think, ‘My God, even his own family thinks he’s a fool.’ It could have gone to his detriment, you know. He could have been locked up for years.”

Paul’s problem, of course, is that he has always appeared just a tad too sexy, too suave, too eager to please. His equipoise looms like a red flag to critics ready to knock him down a peg, and no matter that his temperament is genuinely affable. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him in a bad mood,” contends rockabilly great Carl Perkins, a friend of nearly 20 years standing. “I’ve worked with a lot of greats, from Elvis to Dylan, and they could all get pretty moody at times. But Paul’s not like that. I’m sure he has a time and place, but it doesn’t interfere with his outward personality.” Though McCartney is far from invulnerable, it has never been his style to exorcise personal demons in public, a la John Lennon. Instead, he turns inward, to his family and his music. When the Beatles broke apart, Paul did both—he formed a new band with his wife.

“If you want the Beatles, go see Wings.” George Harrison

“I think I’m good. I like me, I’m good. I can dig me. Can you?” Paul McCartney

“He sounds like Englebert Humperdinck.” John Lennon

Wings took flight in 1971, when Paul and Linda joined forces with old pal Denny Laine (from the Moody Blues) and drummer Danny Seiwell. It endured, in various incarnations, for eight more years and eight more albums. Paul first conceived the band as a vehicle for playing small clubs and halls, a return to his rock roots and an emergence from the isolation that, in Paul’s view, had ultimately destroyed the Beatles. As a traveling show, Wings was a hit from the start—who wouldn’t want to hear Paul play the local pub?—but a succession of pop hits soon propelled him back to superstar-sized arenas and concert halls.

Critical acclaim was not so readily forthcoming. Without the Beatles’ special alchemy Paul’s romanticism tended to drift toward pap, lacking the spark of originality that characterized the best McCartney-Lennon collaborations. His most acrid critic, to Paul’s everlasting chagrin, turned out to be Lennon. For years they squabbled like ex’s unable to leave behind a stormy marriage, but when it came to sarcastic repartee John was in a class by himself. Japes like the one about Humperdinck, or the picture of John hoisting a pig by its ears (a wicked sendup of Paul holding up a sheep on the cover of his Ram album) wounded Paul deeply. He still has not entirely recovered; in a recent interview he claimed to draw fresh solace from his conversations with Yoko Ono. “She tells me something very important,” he revealed, “that John still loved me, after all.”

“Of course my brother and John loved each other,” declares Michael McCartney, “same as my brother and I do. Brothers have their feuds—you love ’em and you hate ’em. Oh, it’s easy enough to put all the negative parts under a microscope. I could have written a book called Paulie Dearest, slagged him to death and made millions. But it wouldn’t have been the truth. With Paul and John, though, all the dirty linen was brought out in public.”

Despite, or perhaps because of, such controversy, Paul continued to pour his energy into the music, and by 1976, his faith had been rewarded. Wings toured America that year like conquering heroes. McCartney was hailed on the cover of Time, and the band’s crack performances drew wildly ecstatic crowds and rave reviews. Amidst all the hoopla, however, Paul and Linda remained serene and jocular, causing one associate to marvel that McCartney was the only touring rock star around who knew how to keep a grip on his sanity.

”Groupies, chicks. It was fabulous. I loved it. There was no stopping me after a (Beatles) show. I was the biggest raver out. But I got to thinking, ‘What am I doing with my life? Who am I getting to know? What one chick do I know as a pal?’ And there weren’t any… Mainly, I’d sown enough wild oats. Making love does become a sort of commitment—I love the idea of vows and stuff. To tell the truth, it keeps me kind of straight.” Paul McCartney, 1974

“I’m not sophisticated, a good conversationalist, looking good all the time. I don’t think of myself like Jacqueline Kennedy or Patricia Nixon.” Linda McCartney, 1974

Paul was always the most desirable of the Beatle bachelors, and by the end of the sixties, he was the only one left. Any whiff of serious romance merited close scrutiny by the press. Thus, Linda “no relation to Kodak” Eastman was in for some rough sport, when, after a relatively swift courtship, she and Paul tied the knot in 1969. A rock photographer at the Fillmore East who’d enjoyed acquaintanceships with various rock figures previous to meeting Paul, she was dubbed the “Park Avenue groupie”—a sobriquet that says more about rock’s inbred sexism than Linda’s character. (Years later, Rolling Stone slurred Joni Mitchell in much the same fashion.)

Nonetheless, Paul and Linda took to the life of domestic bliss with remarkable dispatch, a condition rather smugly documented on their first two records together, Ram and Wild Life. Since then, however, they’ve managed to sustain the ideal of traditional marriage and family—no mean feat in this era of celebrity swapstakes. Though rumors of discord surface from time to time, from all indications, their marriage remains solid. Indeed, one of the highlights of the Wings Over America tour was Paul’s impassioned rendition of “My Love”, crooning the hook “my love does it gooood” while a smiling Linda posed before the multitudes, hands on hips, letting no one miss the implications of that particular song.

“Paul would be sort of a Republican.” John Eastman, Paul’s brother-in-law and business manager

According to the Guinness Book of World Records, Paul McCartney is “the most honored man in music.” One is naturally inclined to trust Guinness in these matters, and Paul’s statistics do tell an amazing story—over 100 million album sales, 100 million singles sales and, separately, 43 million-selling songs. Since 1970, all 10 of Paul’s records (solo and with Wings) have been certified gold by the Record Industry Association of America. The last five releases have also gone platinum (over a million units sold), and his newest, Tug of War, which features Ringo, Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson and Carl Perkins, is certain to do the same.

During the sixties, however, only a small part of the Beatles’ fabulous success translated into personal wealth. For many years the band relied on a loose network of acquaintances to handle their financial matters—most proved either honest or competent, but rarely both. But under the guidance of John Eastman, Paul has since realized a vast financial empire, with an estimated annual income, mostly from record and publishing royalties, of about $40 million. His publishing house, MPL, originally established for tax purposes, is the largest independent song publisher in the world, holding the rights to scores from Grease, Annie, Hello Dolly, A Chorus Line, Bye Bye Birdie and Mame; standards from “On, Wisconsin” to “Stormy Weather” and “Autumn Leaves”; the entire catalog of Buddy Holly songs, rags by Scott Joplin, songs by Ira Gershwin, even the theme to the Dinah Shore TV show. And in a recent twist of fate, Paul and Yoko are currently negotiating with British mogul Sir Lew Grade to buy back Northern Songs, the catalog of early Beatles hits (including “Yesterday”) that was sold during the sixties. The whimsical Beatle has turned out to be one savvy entrepreneur.

Less publicized, however, are McCartney’s frequent gestures of charity. He’s performed various benefits for UNESCO, and, in 1979,, following a plea from then-Secretary General of the United Nations Kurt Waldheim, he personally organized a giant pop concert to raise the emergency relief aid for Kampuchea. The event and subsequent album, Concerts for the People of Kampuchea (featuring the Who, Queen, the Pretenders and Elvis Costello, among others), has netted UNICEF over $600,000 to date, according to organization officials. A concert movie will also be released around the United States and Europe this summer.

McCartney’s generosity crops up in smaller, more personal encounters. “When I first decided to become a writer, I sent a bunch of stuff to Paul,” recalls Laura Gross, now a radio interviewer at KRLA, the “Beatles station” of Los Angeles. “Then, when he came to L.A., I knocked on the door of his hotel, and he said ‘Oh yes, I’ve read your stuff, you ought to send us what you’re doing. Linda and I are very interested.’ Here I was, a stranger and a nobody, and he took the time to be kind. He gave me encouragement at a time when that was very important to me.”

“He was my boss,” observes Wings guitarist Laurence Juber, “but he was also my teacher. At one point he gave me a fairly substantial budget just so I could develop my own ideas. He’s an extremely benevolent sort of person, but he doesn’t shout about it. He’s aware of his responsibility to other talents, otherwise he wouldn’t be a nice person, and he is a nice person. Of course, he’s always got that element of cockiness about him, because he’s come such a long way. Don’t forget, he was just a kid off the street in Liverpool. That’s all any of them were.”

“Phony Beatlemania has bitten the dust.” The Clash

“I love Paul, he’s my favourite—brown, white, red, blue or green! He is the Beatles.” Little Richard, interviewed by KRLA’s Laura Gross

In 1974, Mark Lapidos decided to put together a kind of giant swap meet and communal gathering for Beatles fans. He called it Beatlefest, rented a hall, and ended up admitting 7,000 people and turning away thousands more. This year, Beatlefest will span 11 days in four different U.S. cities, as interest continues to mount in a group that called it quits more than a decade ago. “We’re not living in the past,” Lapidos insists. “You take surveys now and ask young people their favourite group and what do they say? The Beatles! Their music will not die. It is the cultural phenomenon of the century.”

Lapidos may be right. The past year has evidenced yet another spate of books and articles about the Beatles, along with discoveries of long-dormant radio recordings and master tapes by the Fab Foursome. And if anything, the hideous murder of John Lennon in December 1980 seems to have inspired fans to rekindle the flame of memory. “We simply couldn’t let that act destroy such an important part of our lives,” explains Lapidos. “Actually, we became more like family, pulling closer together after we’d lost our brother.”

The man who knew John Lennon best was devastated by his murder. Paul’s friend, Paddy Moloney of the Chieftains, remembers seeing McCartney looking “stunned. He said it was useless and tragic, (but) I don’t think it had penetrated that John was gone forever. I’m sure it took a few days for that to sink in.” When it did, Paul turned, as he always did in times of crisis, to his closest ally—music. At the suggestion of friend and producer George Martin, he shifted base from London to Martin’s studio on the Caribbean island of Montserrat, away from the obtrusive glare of the media. Once settled in with Linda and the kids, he called up Ringo, Wingsmate Denny Laine, Carl Perkins, Stevie Wonder, and embarked on the most ambitious and painstaking project of his musical career.

“I have never met a more dedicated musician than Paul McCartney. He’ll work all night on a little guitar lick until he gets it just the way he wants it. He’s a perfectionist.” Carl Perkins

The intensity of his commitment on Montserrat became its own kind of therapy. Between sessions the musicians would swim, sun on the beach, or take Jeep rides along the scenic island trails. But after two months, McCartney and Martin returned to London, where they continued to refine the material for another year. The sessions had produced two albums worth of music; the second set was still in its final stages of completion when I phoned Martin’s studio in March. A spokesperson remarked that McCartney was anxiously awaiting its public reception. “I think Paul wants to have a truly ‘musical’ success this time, not just a popular one,” she declared. “He really wants to be recognized for achieving something.”

In the past decade, McCartney’s most trying periods have often fostered his best work—McCartney and Ram, following the Beatles split; Band on the Run in 1973, when Wings was coming apart at the seams, and to a lesser extent, Back to the Egg in 1979, amidst persistent rumors that Paul and Linda’s marriage was on the rocks. But all of those efforts pale, I think, beside Tug of War. Here Paul has finally cast off the aureole of calculated cuteness that marred so much of his seventies music, and penned lyrics that are evocative, unsentimental and deeply personal. At the same time, the album’s sheer range and spunky, let’s-try-it-on spirit recalls the Beatles at their most ambitious, from the daring juxtaposition of rock ’n’ roll rhythm and big band texture that propels “Ballroom Dancing” to the graceful, quirky country swing duet with Perkins, to the hothouse funk of “What’s That”, a six-minute corker with Stevie Wonder that bears favorable comparison to Wonder’s own “Superstition”. Yet the record’s most eloquent moment is its most elemental—a quiet, heartfelt paean to McCartney’s fallen brother, entitled “Here Today.”

And if I said I really knew you well, What would your answer be? Well, knowing you, You’d probably laugh, And say that we were worlds apart If you were here today… here today.

Every era has its myths—from Jesus to Camelot to the Beatles—and every myth exists to fill the special needs of its culture. As Beatle Paul, he will always play the courtly knight, the crooning Lancelot in shining Nehru jacket. But the real Paul McCartney is no more or less than a talented musician with wife and kids, nearing middle age and trying, along with the rest of us, to sort out the various slings and arows of life’s fortune. It is no put-down to say that nothing he ever does, no matter how accomplished, can again approach the majesty of the legend he once helped create, precisely because it is a legend.

“Why should the Beatles give more?” John Lennon once asked, with characteristic bluntness. “Didn’t they give everything on God’s earth for 10 years? Didn’t they give themselves?”

So now Lennon is gone, though his restless, vibrant spirit survives among the living. And now Paul McCartney, unarguably one of the premier artists of his generation, continues with his own life’s work, which is simply to make music for the world to hear and enjoy; perhaps even be touched by.

#1982 #paul mccartney #paul and linda #full article placeholder tag

[sheepsandcattle]

Chapter 8

In England, there were clubs so small but so class they had to build upwards to accommodate more people. They were so grim it’d stick your shoes to the floor and your drink to any given surface you chose to set it down on.

He misses being able to go to places like that, where he’d walk about the gaff like he owned the place because apparently his reputation preceded him and everyone was everyone’s best mate.

There’s really no excuse to decline another night out with Jeff and Dean. He has a fake ID and nowt better to do and he’s not sure what’s been putting him off the idea of going to a club instead of another shit house party -- other than the fact that Jules says it’s a shit place. Jules also says Leisure is a shit album though, so sod what he thinks.

Turns out Jeff knows the guy on the door and the two of them get in without needing IDs anyway. The place isn’t nearly as bad as Jules had sold it; a three-story building playing some synth-rock that he swears he recognises, full of groups talking among themselves around the edges and dancing in the centre. Feels familiar.

Jeff says he’s missed him as they lean against the bar and enjoy their second beer -- but fourth drink because they both did two shots each just to get them started. They get just barely buzzed, his tolerance improved now, but his friend says, “let's take it easy tonight,” which he knows is code for ‘let's stick to alcohol and nothing more,’ so he agrees easily.

Jordan seems to come out of nowhere, hugging Jeff when he spots him, then nodding when he sees Curly, clearing his throat like he’s embarrassed to have been caught embracing his friend. He says, “Curly, hey,” and squeezes his shoulder after straightening himself back out, then shoves his mate for good measure.

Everyone seems to know Jordan, a few greeting Jeff too as they make a path towards the bar on the terrace - Jordan says the service is quicker up there. The blond gets stopped a few more times on their way up and Curly realises eventually that he works here. Most people seem happy to see him on this side of the bar for once.

By the time Jordan’s got a round in for the three of them, a few more people have tagged along and about a dozen of them huddle around two small, circular tables on the roof, dragging chairs over to speak in cliques within the group.

Jeff sits beside Curly and the two of them get lost in their own conversation for a while as Jordan claims one of the spaces opposite but is too distracted by the people that gather to chat with him. Jeff’s easy-going and jumps between conversations, but Curls doesn’t mind observing for a while, overwhelmed by all of the new faces.

Jordan gets called on every so often from across the outdoor space, just by someone who wants to say hi; make themselves known. He doesn’t get up for anyone though, giving handshake-hugs from his seat and returning to the conversation among those at the table quickly after each exchange. He doesn’t say much to anyone, Curly notes, instead he hums and nods as people talk at him - except Jeff, that is, and it feels like they have some good history as they mock each other with a certain fondness that reminds Curly of his friends back home.

Curly’s not used to seeing Jeff in a different circle, but he’s not as passive here as he was around Jules, Oscar and Dean. He pulls Curly into his conversations so easily, just to keep him involved with the new group, and by the time Dean joins them, taking the seat Jeff has saved beside Jordan, Curly is comfortable and laughing more than he has in ages with people he barely even knows.

There’s a certain point where Jeff and Dean get caught up in a conversation of their own and the man drifts off, running his fingertips through puddles of beer and drawing wet lines on the table.

“You should hang out with us more.” He doesn’t realise who says it at first, but when he looks up, Jordan is leaning back in his seat and he looks like he’s been thinking on it for a while. “They’re always tryna get you out, huh? What, you too cool for us?”

“Summet like that,” he says, and he’s still trying to place that accent. The man’s bland expression and idle posture shouldn’t leave him feeling comfortable like it is. Curly props an elbow on the table and rests his chin in his palm, his mouth half-covered by curled knuckles as he mumbles, “I’ve just got loads going on. Things to sort out and all that.”

Jordan scoffs and follows it with a solemn nod - waves a hand vaguely. “Message received.”

He’s misconstrued it but he doesn’t look all that hurt, still watching him expectantly, head bowed just slightly as he's slouched in his seat, temple pitched against the tip of his index finger as his elbow rests on the metal arm of his chair. He looks up through his lashes beneath arched brows and the angle makes him look unimpressed.

Curly says, “wish I came out sooner, though,” to clear the air, but Dean’s grabbing his attention before he can continue, stealing Curly away from the conversation and into a new one.

Jordan’s eyes linger for a while like it’s not quite over yet.

It doesn’t take long to realise that Dean thrives in a similar way to Jeff in this new crowd. He thinks they did the right thing by getting out of Jules’ and Oscars company, even if it’s still working just fine for Curly.

Somehow, the time jumps from 11pm to 1am, and the group has halved. Jeff and Curly still sit opposite Jordan and Dean. Two other guys and a girl whose names Curly can’t remember for the life of him continue to talk among themselves around the other table.

“Where’s the redhead anyway? What’s his name,” Jordan clicks his fingers as he tries to bring Jules’ name to mind.

Jeff says, “we don’t fuck with those guys anymore. Outgrew ‘em.”

“‘Bout time.” Jordan points at Curly. “You were pretty fucked up the last few times I saw you. Smart move, ditching that guy.”

Before Curly can respond, Dean says, “actually, he’s still under his wrath. We’re workin’ on it,” but he winks at Curly so he knows he’s only having a laugh.

“Gotcha.” The blond nods and something nudges Curly’s ankle beneath the table as he adds, “until then, you better hold off on those scissors, kid. Or take my number for when you’ve got some threads to trim. I’ve got a steady hand, y’know? Plus-- Ow, fuck.”

Dean must think Jordan’s taking the mick because he nudges his mate so hard that he knocks Jordan’s elbow off the metal chair arm. Curls appreciates Deans defence but, more so than anything, the inside joke between himself and Jordan feels... Validating somehow.

Curly laughs, embarrassed but manages to play it off, says, “yeah, I’ve seen. I’ll bear it in mind, cheers,” and Jordan gives him one of his reserved smiles. He’s confusing.

Everyone else looks at them like they’re speaking in code.

“See you later, Jord.”

Everyone’s attention shifts to a girl with a jet black bob-cut as she and the two men stand. They give polite goodbyes to Curly, Jeff and Dean too before one of the guys says, “tell Rhys about that script, will you,” on his way around the table, but Jordan waves him off like he's sick of hearing about it.

Jeff and Dean announce that they’ll be leaving shortly after that, and Curly insists on getting the last round in, Jeff tagging along to help carry the beers.

“So how do you know him?” Curly nods over to the table and he’s not sure why he decides he mustn’t speak his name.

“J? We go way back. Went to school with him,” he explains, both of them leaning back against the bar as they wait for their drinks, watching the other half of their group talk among themselves. “He lived with Dean for a little while when his mom got sick.”

This steals Curly’s attention, and he turns back to Jeff just after Jordan scowls at Dean across the table a few yards away. Jeff, though, simply shakes his head, says, “she’s fine now,” as he waves it off but Curls reckons he’s realised he’s put his foot in his mouth. They both watch the blond let out a sharp, snarling laugh, shaking his head and flopping back into his seat dramatically like he’s been told off and doesn’t wanna hear it.

Curly can’t quite tell if it’s just the same kind of banter that the man shared with Jeff earlier. With the new information though, Curly can see a brotherly bond between the two men. They don’t have a lot to say to each other when others are around (maybe because Jordan doesn’t tend to have a lot to say anyway, he’s learned) but they like to jump in for the sake of mutual depreciation.

“You go way back, then,” Curls notes.

“Oh yeah. We fucking hated the guy as first.” He assumes ‘we’ means him and Dean, and Curly’s interest is peaked again as he hums his encouragement. “He moved here at the end of... Tenth grade - long fucking story… Why’d you ask, anyway?” Just as Jeff asks the question, the tender finally returns with 4 pints and they take two each and head back towards the table.

Curly shrugs simply, tells him “I’m just curious,” right as they reach the table again, where they drink between comfortable conversation and Curly tries not to look at Jordan differently, now knowing the new information that he’s not sure he’s meant to have heard. It’s been a long time since Curly last went out and favoured alcohol over… Well, any other substance, but this is nice. Casual. Memorable.

He’s disappointed when his two friends stand to leave, and he stands with them for a goodbye hug as Jordan waves them off from his seat. Dean hits the back of the man’s head lightly, says “behave yourself,” as Jordan sits smugly, unphased as a few disgruntled strands fall over his eyes.

Curls settles back down and suddenly the two of them are alone - something he hadn’t anticipated, even as his friends left. The silence isn’t necessarily uncomfortable, but it certainly doesn't feel natural. It feels like something is waiting to be said, like that time he sold Jordan Molly and he opened his mouth to speak but then turned away and left - or earlier on when the man had waited him out like a challenge, only for Curly’s friends to steal him away.

Jordan offers another round, and they make pleasant small-talk but Jordan’s heart isn’t really in it as he watches him inquisitively like he has better things to talk about.

“So here’s my issue,” Jordan grumbles finally, squinting as he does this thing where he never really smiles but speaks with a certain fondness that tells Curly everything’s fine. “I don’t like playing things safe, right?”

“Right.”

“‘Cause I mean, where does that get me? Nowhere at all… And I don’t like when people tell me not to do things,” Jordan adds and Curly agrees, although the topic’s come from nowhere and he’s no idea where it’s going. “Especially when I’ve had couple drinks and I’m feeling a little too cocky. So, firstly-“ He holds up a finger. “-I don’t like that Dean warned me off challenging you to Blackjack. I’m offended, even.”

The heavy build-up definitely promised a heavier topic than card games and there’s silence as they wait each other out. After a short while though, Curly giggles as he falls back into his seat, crossing his arms over his chest.

“That’s it? You buttered me up with a beer to tell me you fancy a game of Blackjack? Mate, that’s—”

“Hey, I’m not done.” He’s so obviously fighting back a smile now. He leans over the table like it’s a secret, and Curly finds himself doing the same, one elbow in a puddle of beer now as they watch each other challengingly. Yeah, cocky’s a good word for it. “I also don’t like that he told me I shouldn’t ask you out.”

It takes his brain a little while to process it, and Curly doesn’t have a good comeback for that either. He stutters a bit, then laughs a confused laugh, taken aback and a little unsure as to exactly how serious the man is. Why would Dean think to—

Jordan adds, “because I think you should. Go out with me, I mean.”

He can’t read Jordan’s expression at all, cannot for the life of him tell if he’s joking or not because he’s pretty sure he’s been joking all night, except this is the first time he’s really cracked a smile. Jordan takes a sip of his beer, waiting patiently for Curly’s response. Curly’s just waiting for the man to laugh and reveal the punchline.

Words. That’s what he needs. I don’t like guys. I don’t like dating. I don’t think I like anyone like that. It’s weird and I’m too drunk. None of that seems right though. It all feels unjustified - like a bit of a cop-out.

Curly thinks, ‘he who speaks first, loses,’ only seconds before he caves, but Jordan crumbles too just as he begins to say, “I don’t-”

“Go out with me.” Jordan shrugs - smiles coolly. “I don’t do this. I don’t think you do either. All the more reason, no? Go out with me.”

He can’t think of a single reason to say no, which is even more confusing. He’s been itching for his attention all night, he realises, getting that funny ache he gets, every time the man addressed him and when his foot nudged his ankle and when he offered his number to him like it was a joke.

“Okay.” Curly nods and tries so hard to remain cool. “Yeah, why not?”

The cab they share is silent but it’s comfortable. They sit together in the back and Jordan leans back against the door and watches him, completely shameless. They catch each other smiling like they’re up to something they shouldn't be and it’s the stupidest thing he’s ever known, but he’s still fully buzzing when he swans into the apartment with Jordan’s number in his phone.

It only takes an accusing look from Jules to have Curly biting back a grin.

“Leave it out, Jules,” he says coyly as he passes him.

#ch #ch8 #writing

[4birds-of-a-feather]

Chapter 26 - Man, it doesn’t show signs of stoppin’ [part 6]

Birds Of a Feather

(In the previous chapters: Stone and Mike join the happy brigade, Sara at first treats ‘em like shit but, as the beer grows, she becomes more and more friendly; Mike helps Ed and Layla with the dinner that successfully takes place, until Jeff suddenly appears, not so happy about the gang’s decision of throwing a party without letting him now)

“Slides?” Mike asked incredulous. “Yup” Jeff confirmed as he was having his plate filled by Layla for a second pasta round. “Is that what all the entertainment consisted of?” Stone remarked while his bandmate stuffed his face with food. “It consisted in them showing slides of their Hawaii vacation to a bunch of college jerks” “Hawaii is amazing, I definitely have to go there someday. And catch some waves. The pictures must have been beautiful, nature is so wild” a dreamy eyed Eddie said, ocean waves rolling in his mind. “It wasn’t exactly National Geographic style, Ed. From what you could see, those pictures may as well have been shot in West Seattle.” Jeff immediately killed his friend’s enthusiasm “And even the greatest photo shoot starts to get boring after half an hour” “C’mon, I’m sure the subjects weren’t bad at all” Stone retorted, earning nasty looks from the two girls sitting at the table. “... And the subjects of the pictures were the only subjects of the whole party actually, they were the only girls, which I found kinda weird...” “Uh yes, very weird!” Layla simply rolled her eyes. “Cough cough attention cough seeker” Sara whispered not so low between fake coughs. “Well, you’re the only female subjects here too, ladies. You often are” Stone pointed out ignoring the danger. <If looks could kill, I'd be dead already> the guitarist thought right when Layla opened her mouth. “Well, this is not a party, we literally live here-” “Temporarily” Jeff chimed in while chewing. “... Temporarily” Layla repeated. “We live here temporarily and you fuckers casually dropped by to eat for free, it’s not like we invited you” Sara blurted out with a straight face. Stone was about to answer back, but the bass player interrupted them to go on with his story. “Anyway, it was two girls and like twenty guys and there was something like a slice of pizza and half a can of beer for each person” “That’s the worse shit” Mike finally commented. “... And they were cranking New Kids on the Block's Christmas album on the stereo” “Now that is the worse shit” Eddie noted with a disgusted face. “And that’s why I came back here, I didn’t expect a secret party was being thrown at my apartment” Jeff said not even trying to hide some resentment. “It’s not a party! And we weren’t even supposed to be here” Layla replied, looking at the others alternatively. <But I'm glad we are> she thought and smiled to herself. “And what about all this?” Jeff asked, pointing at the table. “We were hungry, I had to cook something” the girl defended herself. “And what about that?” he then pointed at the decorated Christmas tree. “You can’t have Christmas without a Christmas tree!” “And I bet you were about to exchange presents without me” the bass player went on. “Hey, just chill, Jeffrey, we don’t do presents” Stone shrugged and poured himself more wine. “Well, you don’t but someone does” Sara remarked, looking at Layla. “Hahaha! What do you think they are, then? Those boxes under the tree? Decorations?” Jeff pointed out, laughing at his bandmate’s face. “You got us presents?” Mike asked with a confused look on his face, while Eddie pretended to be surprised too. “Well, I’d have given them to you once I had got back from my... family vacation” Layla explained, still struggling a little not to let out her secret. “Buuuut, since we’re all here... UNWRAPPING TIME!” Jeff rubbed his hands and yelled all of a sudden making everyone in the room yelp.

Ament went first for the packages under the small Christmas tree followed by his band mates, and each one of them immediately found their own present. The bass player literally tore the wrapping paper in pieces to reveal a wooden box containing a professional set of paint brushes. “Wow, these are cool! How did you know I needed them?” Jeff asked, probing the different brushes with his fingers. “Where do you think I live? Temporarily, that is.” Layla beamed “You always leave your brushes around in the house when you paint and I noticed they were mostly dry and mangy, so...” “Thank you, Four Eyes, I owe you” he gave the girl a small pat on her back and went back to examine the new brushes. “THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ‘I OWE YOU‘? WHERE’S YOUR PRESENT?!” Sara unexpectedly yelled at the bass player. “Are you crazy? What's wrong with you, you made me deaf!” her roommate complained, painfully covering one of her ears with her hand. “We should explain to our gentle host the meaning of the word exchanging when you talk about gifts” the girl went on, folding her arms in a threatening way. “How would I know she’d been here! I though she was leaving” Jeff justified himself, strangely without attacking Sara, but apparently showing a genuine remorse. “It doesn’t matter, Jeff, really! It’s fine, I didn’t expect a present” Layla tried to calm her friend down but it looked like there was no point in trying. “It’s not fine at all!” Sara exclaimed, before being interrupted by someone else. “Ehm ehm...” Mike cleared his throat catching the girl’s attention as he was holding his still unwrapped gift in his hands “Actually... we don’t have presents either” “WHAT?” “That’s not true, we brought the wine” Stone retorted. “The wine you stole at your parents’ house doesn’t count as present” Sara smirked and the quarrel was extended to the other two musicians, while another figure was secretly walking away into another room very quickly. “I’ve let you live in my fucking apartment for months, isn’t that enough for a present?” Jeff flailed his arms around in sudden exasperation and Sara was about to stand up when a voice behind stopped her. “No, it’s not!” the girls turned around to see two huge boxes held out by someone who must have been Eddie, given from the voice who spoke, but was completely covered by the packages. “TA-DA!” Mike shouted and everybody but the two girls started cheering and laughing. “... The fuck?” Sara craned her neck to give a better look at the boxes. “Merry Christmas from all of us!” Ed said from behind the packages. “You must have a really shitty opinion of us if for a moment you really thought we hadn’t got you a fuckin’ gift” Stone remarked, almost offended. “Well, considering you have a caveman in your band, that didn’t sound totally unlikely” Sara answered and the bass player immediately flashed her a smile together with his middle finger, mouthing a Merry Christmas that was supposed to be playful but left the girl confused for a minute. “Here, this is yours, Layla” Eddie handed the green box to the girl who hadn’t spoken a word until then. “Thank you... you shouldn’t have, I wasn’t expecting this” she took the package and looked at the smiling guys one by one as she spoke. “Wait until we see what it is, before thanking them” Sara joked as she collected herself and tore the blue box away from the singer’s hands, wasting no time. “They’re survival kits” Stone revealed and, in doing so, immediately earned a slap from Jeff on his shoulder. “Shut up! You’ll ruin the surprise” Mike protested. “They’re literally opening the packages now, they’ll know in a couple of seconds” “So keep your mouth shut for two secs, can you?” Ament urged him while Layla started to squeal. “AAAAAAAAWWWWWW! This is so cute!” the girl held out a green throw pillow with a message written on it, which Mike promptly read aloud. “Thank you for feeding all us fuckers” “Thank you for putting up with our crap” Sara chimed in, reading what was written on her turquoise throw pillow and hardly hid a smile. “You’re always whining that we steal all the pillows and-” Jeff started but was interrupted by Eddie. “Actually, it’s just you, you take all the pillows when you’re on the couch... Actually, you take up the whole couch and the pillows” his roommate corrected him. “Huh, whatever... Now you'’e got your own!” “Oh, there’s something else!” Layla rummaged into the box and found a white memo board, whereas Sara found a small box with markers, notes and magnets. “You, well, we all can leave each other notes and write messages so we won’t live in total chaos anymore” Eddie explained and Stone chimed in, blatantly winked at him. “Yeah yeah, you can leave each other any kind of message, now” “This also counts as a present for your newly restored apartment, when it’ll be finished. I think it’ll take a little longer than the building of the Great Wall of China” Jeff snorted but he, and Eddie and the girls at the same time, kind of stopped for a second to think that it’d soon be over, that Sara and Layla would eventually go back to their place and this adventure together would end. Jeff was always complaining about having his place invaded, Sara couldn’t stand not having privacy, Layla and Eddie mocked their friends, but all of them almost forgot that it was actually temporary and that it’d soon be only a memory, a footnote of their own history. Jeff’s words made them all realize that for a moment, and one moment later they all preferred to put the thought in the back of their minds once again and just forget it. “Thank you so much, these are the best presents...” Layla held the pillow tight and almost got teared up. “Oh no, please, don’t. C’mon, just open your presents, you fuckers! Before the waterworks come” Sara urged the rest of the gang to unwrap their gifts as she put the box on the floor and picked up Layla’s present for her. “A FUZZ PEDAL! YOU GOT ME A FUCKIN’ FUZZ PEDAL!” when he opened the small box and spotted its content, Mike literally jumped up and let it fall back on the table. “Wasn’t that the one you wanted?” Layla asked, not sure how to interpret his reaction. “IT FUCKIN’ IS!” “Oh well, I’m ha-” “MARRY ME” McCready run up to the girl and threw his arms around her neck. “Hehe! It’s not new, it’s second-hand” Layla giggled. “I DON’T CARE, MARRY ME TOMORROW” “Cough cough, my turn now” Stone called as he stood in line behind Mike, holding his sets of band-themed guitar picks. “Ok, there you go” the other guitarist went back to his place, while Gossard took over in the hug. “The Beatles ones are my favorites” he admitted, playfully rubbing Layla’s back until he casually made eye contact with a not amused Eddie. “Your turn now!” Stone sat back and pointed at the singer, who hadn’t unwrapped his gift yet. “Huh? Oh yeah, sure...” he smiled at Layla and as he found out what was in the box his smile turned into a huge grin. “I know that you basically consume a composition book a day so I thought I’d buy you a stock” Layla explained as Eddie was examining the notebooks, which were all either music or sea themed. “Thank you, this is... Oh there are pens too!” “If you take a better look, you’ll find something else” Layla added and Eddie knitted his brows, removing all the composition books and placing them on the table, only to find a mini cassette recorder. “You got me a tape recorder?” “Do you remember when you said you have the best ideas when you don’t have a pen or during your sleep and then when you wake up you’re too groggy for written words and once you recover and wake up it’s all gone? Well, I thought that you could keep this with you and record ideas as they come to you and you could as well keep it on your nightstand and pushing a button is surely easier than holding a pen and writing in a comprehensible language, don’t you think?” Layla illlustrated the reason behind her choice and Eddie listened to her intently, his mouth open and his eyes looking alternatively at the recorder in his hands and at Layla’s face. “You’re... you’re a genius, this is the smartest present I’ve ever got” “So why don’t you hug her? C’mon! Husband number three!” Stone jokingly pushed him towards Layla and he obliged with a quick hug. “I’m happy you liked it.” Layla cheered, then turned towards her roommate “Anyway, all the presents were from me and Sara, so you should queue up for her too” “Over my dead body” Sara warned scornfully as she saw the two guitarists stand up at the same time. “And what about your present? What are you waiting for?” Layla ignored her reaction and asked her about the gift that was still untouched in her hands. “I was waiting for these four jokers to stop being assholes but I guess I’d have to wait forever” her friend shrugged and finally ripped up the wrap paper as she’d wanted to do since the dinner started. “I hope you’ll like it” the other girl added nervously. <I really hope I didn't fuck up with this Christmas gift or I'll be the worst friend ever> Sara opened the box and produced a small glass bottle with a black cap. “HOLY VITTORIO DE SICA!” she basically yelled at the top of her lungs and the guys came closer to see what had caused such a reaction. “Are you insane??? Neighbours are gonna call the police!” Jeff protested. “Coffee!” the girl said enthusiastically, ignoring him. “... You got her coffee?” Mike asked incredulous. “Maybe you should have given her chamomile tea” Stone joked. “Pear!” Sara went on. “You got her coffee and a pear?” Mike asked again. “... Pink pepper, vanilla and patchouli?! This is my favorite perfume ever!” “... Guess you like it” Layla smiled and breathed a sigh of relief as Sara sprayed a little perfume on her wrist and smelled it ecstatic. “I don’t like it, I ADORE IT! I didn’t have it in my collection yet, I love you” she answered and tackled Layla in a bear hug. “You love her but didn’t buy her a present?” Jeff insinuated with a smirk. “Sure I bought her a present, you brain-dead party boy” Sara stuck her tongue out at the bass player and retrieved her gift for Layla, the last one left, from under the Christmas tree. Layla clapped her hands and then proceeded to unwrap the small envelope. “Putain de merde!” she yelled and threw herself over her friend. “What did she say?” Jeff asked Eddie. “I don’t know” “... I thought you knew French” “Well, I don’t know everything... I think she likes the present” “Well, wow, thanks a lot Monsieur Veddèr, we totally wouldn’t understand that without you” Stone sarcastically remarked. “You’re coming with me, right?” Layla asked, waving two tickets around under Sara’s nose. “Of course I’m coming with you, who else would hold you back on your seat while you sing all Valjean's parts?” her friend confirmed, while Layla started dancing around the room murmuring tunes to herself. “Are they concert tickets?” Eddie asked as he happily followed Layla’s moves with his eye. “No, they’re tickets for a musical: Les Misérables” “J'avais rêvé d'une autre viiiiiieeeeeeeeee” Layla started singing loud. “... God, I forgot Fantine” Sara covered her face with her palm. “Mais la vie a tué mes rêêêêêêves” Layla opened the window and started singing at the people passing by down the street. “El, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I have to remind you that we’re actually going to see the English version” The other girl stopped and slowly turned around with a cold expression, walked up to Sara, as everyone was holding their breath, pointed at her and added “Comme on étouffe les derniers criiiiiiiiiiis, d'un animal que l'on achèveeeeeeeeee” The whole gang bursted out laughing and Sara shook her head, while Layla kept on singing and twirling around. “Shit, we lost her”

************************************************************************************************ 

When Eddie found her, Sara was intent on chewing the edge of her paper cup – her gaze fixed upon the wall that divided the living room from the kitchen. “Penny for your thoughts?” he approached her, grabbing a beer from the table where the rest of the refreshments had been arranged. She blinked a couple of times, slowly, then shook her head. “Nothin’ at all” “You seemed pretty interested in that crack” he pointed at a large breach above the kitchen’s entry “You plannin’ on switchin’ to Architecture?” The girl didn’t give him an answer, keeping on gnawing her paper cup, but Ed was still able to see the smile that tugged at her lips. “Man, did I really fail? I thought I got this one right, c’mon!” he theatrically put a hand right above his heart, clutching at his t-shirt’s fabric. “Yeah, yeah, whatever” she grabbed his arm to stop him, but released him almost immediately. “Is something wrong?” “No, it’s just a stupid thing” “You sure? I can promise you I won’t laugh” Sara finally turned and looked at him: “I’m dead serious” “That makes two of us” “Jesus Harold Christ on a fucking rubber crutch… Fine, I’ll spill the beans” she pinched the bridge of her nose, letting out a couple of deep breaths “I wanna do something unethical and I’m restrainin’ myself from doing it” “Unethical like what?” “Ugh, Eddie… I can’t even pronounce it” “Should I worry?” “… IwannaseeTheGodfatherIIIevenifitsucks” she finally conceded, talking a mile a minute. “Think you could rewind the tape and play it again, but this time at the right speed?” “I said that I wanna see The Godfather III, even if it’s an unbelievable shit!” “… and that’s the problem?” “I told ya it was a stupid thing – I wanna go because I love the first two movies and I’d like to have some closure to this saga, but that would mean destroying my reputation of movie snob, fuck” “… I could go with you” Ed blurted out, while the girl looked at him as if he had just grown another head “You could go with me: if we meet somebody that knows you, we’ll just say that you’re the expert and I begged you to come with me because I can’t remember all the characters – which technically it’s true, we wouldn’t be lying” “You’d do this?!” “Why not? I mean, it’s Francis Ford Coppola” “Yeah, but-” “We should decide when to do this, so before that we can organize a proper re-watch of the first two films…” “… Why?” The guy looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “Why are you doin’ this for me? I’ve been nothing but a mean bitch to you ever since we met, I just… I just can’t-” Sara stopped talking, lowering her gaze and finally crushing the paper cup she was still holding. “You’ve been nothing but a nice bitch; you helped me to heal things with Layla, and the others told me that you even took my side more than once” he gave her a genuine smile “You’re a bit rough, but that’s just how you cope with things: I get it, sometimes I can be like that” “You? An asshole like me? I don’t think so” “Oh, believe me: there have been times when I have been – and a glorious one, if I may say so” “You may, you may” she finally chuckled and he smiled again, relieved. “So yeah, you’re not a shitty person at all” Eddie gave her a flick on a cheek “Now let’s rejoin the others, there’s still time to think about when to go to the movies” The two of them started to make their way to the kitchen, when the girl suddenly stopped and spoke again. “… Ed?” “Yeah?” “Thank you – I might be a nice bitch, but you’re pretty decent yourself” They shared a smirk and finally rejoined the rest of their friends.

************************************************************************************************

“Ok so we ate all the food, we did the presents thing, we hugged, we kissed-” “Who kissed? I didn’t kiss anyone” Mike, sitting beside Jeff, sprang to attention. “I was just saying... We cheered, we sang” the bass player was slouching on the couch and went on listing the things they had done, counting on his fingers. “In French” Mike pointed out. “In French. We threw water balloons at those fuckin’ kids in the street who dared to criticize Layla’s singing skills” Jeff went on counting, nudging at Layla, who was sprawled on the other side. “Water bags” McCready corrected him. “What?” “Technically they weren’t balloons, they were plastic bags filled with water” “They were just two bags, then we started simply throwing water at them, with no containers” Layla added. “Ok ok, so we did that. And now? What do we do?” Jeff asked himself and the others as Sara and Eddie were coming back from the kitchen into the living room. “Hey, you two, any ideas?” Layla asked them cheerfully, pretending not to eye them suspiciously. “Huh... I don’t know... Truth or dare?” Eddie shrugged and the teenager inside him was considering the different possibilities he could ask to or be asked by Layla in that kind of game. “How old are you? 12?” Stone gave him a side look from the armchair he was sitting on. “Strip poker!” Mike suggested. “I’m gonna strip the rather small amount of flesh off your bones if you say that again” Sara threatened him, grabbing one of the markers the guys gave to her and Layla and pointing it at the guitarist. “... With that thing?” Jeff tiredly raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, so it’s more painful!” “Ok, guys, shut up, I think I’ve got the thing” Stone stated then stood up and walked out somewhere through the hallway, only to appear a few secs later with an immediately recognizable box in his hands. “Jesus, are you fuckin’ kidding me?!” Mike exclaimed. “Twister! I almost forgot you had left it here after the last party! Good choice, it’s gonna be fun” Jeff suddenly stood up from the couch, clapping his hands. “It’s gonna be fun for you, not for the poor souls who are gonna be crashed by your whole self while also having their bones broken in the process” McCready complained and almost shivered as he remembered their last drunk Twister game. “Oh, Jeff’s gonna be careful this time... ain’t that right, Jeffrey?” Stone addressed the bass player with a devilish grin. “It’s not my fault if you don’t know how to play and don’t know the rules” Ament shrugged and took the box from the guitarist’s hands. “Stone’s rules are cruel” Mike sulked. “Stop it, Mikey, Sara's playing too” Stone blatanly winked at the guitarist who turned his pout into a smile. “In this case, I’m in. When do we start?” “I’m not gonna play your stupid game, Gossard” Sara tried to keep it cool and shook her head. “She can't play, she’s wearing a skirt” Layla explained, stating the obvious. <Oh my god, really??? Sorry Layla, we didn't notice! Haha> Stone laughed internally while he was pretending to be taken aback from the revelation. “Wha... oh, right! I wasn’t thinking about it, sorry” “What if we promise not to look?” Mike suggested. “What if I promise to claw your eyes out with the same marker?” Sara retorted with a huge smile on her face that frightened the guitarist. “... Ok, Sara’s gonna be the ref” he said as Jeff and Eddie were unboxing the game.

#Eddie Vedder #Jeff Ament #Pearl Jam #Eddie Vedder fanfiction #Pearl Jam fanfiction #grunge fanfiction #Jeff Ament fanfiction #Birds of a Feather #chapters

[kidsfromyesterdaypod]

Episode One: It’s Not a Phase, Mom [Transcript]

To make Kids From Yesterday as accessible as possible, we’re transcribing our episodes for you to read!

Note: we forgot to clarify this in the episode but when we talk about the days where people obtained downloads in ways that don't pay artists and that being different to how people consume music now, obviously the current methods of streaming and paid downloading are much better. Always, always support your artists no matter who they are.

Listen here

Courtney: Hello and welcome to Kids from Yesterday. This is an emo podcast that’s gonna be all about emo culture. Every week we’re going to do a deep-dive into facets of emo culture that interest us. So, I’m Courtney** **

Clodagh: And I’m clodagh and today and we’re going to be talking about why emo is not a phase.

[theme song plays. It is an original composition that strongly parodies a lot of pop punk bands]

Court: I have ‘why podcast?’ written here [laughs]

Clo: [laughs] 

Court: so basically, me and Clodagh were talking the other day about…. what were we talking about? 

Clo: I think we were talking about, as typical, we were talking about diet culture and how when we were teenagers the only bodies we had to admire were, or like look up to, were thin white women, and we were kinda talking about how I had never seen bodies that look like mine. Cause when I was a teenager and I was going through my emo phase, I was like a size 16 to 18, and how in Kerrang! – which was the only magazine I ever bought  – or on Kerrang TV I didn’t see any bodies that look like mine and we kinda started to talk about that and it kinda just... the idea I think 

Court: Grew from there 

Clo: Came from that, yeah

Court: I just remember screaming at you through instagram messages, CAN WE DO AN EMO PODCAST and you agreed, for some reason? [Laughs] 

Clo: [Laughs] Yeah

Court: But definitely that’s a topic that we were just talking about there that we want to do a deep-dive in at some point, and talk about that aspect of emo culture cause I think, like, fashion and that whole aspect of it was such a huge thing. And like if you were emo as a kid you had the hair and you had the clothes and you dressed like Hayley Williams or you dressed like, you know, Gerard Way 

Clo: Yeah 

Court: And there was no in-between and both of those people were, you know, thin 

Clo: And white and cisgender 

Court: Yeah. So there was a lot of stuff like that, and when you look back on it now it’s like wow there really wasn’t very much variety for us. So we definitely want to talk about that at some point but eh, ‘why podcast?’, to answer that question...

Clo: Something else I’d kinda been thinking about, I dunno if I mentioned this to you, but in the days leading up to that conversation id been thinking about how My Chemical Romance had kinda gotten the blame for a spate of suicides 

Court: YES 

Clo: And self harm, and there was this whole thing in the Daily Mail, I know they’d had a  concert in London at some point afterwards where they were all chanting F the Daily Mail, em, and I’d kinda been thinking that, isn’t that bizarre that this band got the blame for something that was completely irrelevant and to people from the outside looking in, parents, adults, were you know, air quotes, concerned about it, but they were taking it up completely wrong.

Court: Yeah 

Clo: [in a mocking voice commonly used when people made fun of emo kids in 2006] they just didn’t understand 

Court: It wasn’t a phase. But yeah, it was interesting and it’s the same as like Marilyn Manson getting blamed for like murderers and serial killers and stuff, it’s that real ‘we don’t understand this’, Satanic Panic thing, we have a bunch of kids covered in eyeliner, as I am today – and it pained me to paint eyeliner around my face, it’s everywhere, its never coming off.

Clo: [Laughs]

Court: But that was, I imagine to a lot of parents, confusing and strange, and the only reference you have are all those shows that were like this emo did it and you always have these kids that hang out in a house in the middle of nowhere with like, pentagrams painted on the walls, and like fuck satan and like stuff like that, so like you can see why, but it is ridiculous, so it was interesting to see bands that were intrinsically linked with mental health issues. Which again is something else we want to talk about, maybe in a future episode. 

Clo: Yeah 

Court: But there really was that whole fear, I guess, that kids were listening to this music and becoming depressed, instead of a bunch of sad kids found a bunch of artists who heard them and said to them that this is ok. Or, in my Chem’s case, that this..that they’re... not ok 

Clo: [laughs] 

Court: I hate myself 

Clo: [laughs] 

Court: But you do have that thing where that was...I mean, what got you into emo music? Clo: For me, it think...yeah it started...it started…. It all started around 20… no 2006, I’d say, was when I first got into My Chemical Romance. 2006, 2007 I think it was...I can’t really remember… and I’d start listening to My Chem because... mainly because I used to stay up all night watching music channels and I remember I’d stay up until Scuzz would play the My Chem songs and then I’d go to bed 

Court: [fondly] Remember Scuzz? 

Clo: That’s not a thing anymore, which I recently found out… but yeah, but I got into it that way, and as I started secondary school, you know the people in my class were into High School Musical and they were into Chris Brown and I kinda, you know, as much as… you know when you do, when you start secondary school, you try to fit in with everyone else in your class. And I  had got an interest in R&B music and High School Musical but I was still really into My Chem and Fall Out Boy, and then I met a couple of people in the year below me who were, like, really into My Chem and Fall Out Boy and I was like oh my god, these people, I’ve met people who are into the same music as me, and from there it progressed. And then I guess there was Twilight, I read the saga, and then Paramore did a song for it and I was introduced to Paramore, and they became my favourite band, my favourite emo band. So yeah, but it’s just always been, just there. Avril Lavigne? Busted? I think for everyone, it goes back to Busted 

Court: [laughs]

Clo:  Were you a Busted or McFly girl? 

Court: I was a Busted girl. For years I refused to even acknowledge McFly cause I was like, they’re a rip off of Busted, as if three-piece boybands didn’t exist before that, as if they weren’t a rip off of Blink, or Blink weren’t a rip off of Green Day and stuff. But like to child me, I was like  [mocking] I like Busted and McFly suck 

Clo: I was the same.

Court: I discovered Avril Lavigne then as well. Discovered is a… I mean like, she was on the radio, there wasn’t much discovery there, but I really liked her, and then something happened and I got really into Linkin Park. Actually I think part of that, going back to Twilight, I was really into the books before the film happened, and Stephenie Meyer had a website and she used to make playlists for each of the books, so she had Muse and Linkin Park and a bunch of other bands that I’d never heard of, so I would’ve been 13 I think, and I remember one Christmas I was like, can I have all these Linkin Park albums? And one of my aunts being like, [pearl clutching] ‘WHAT?’

Clo: [laughs]

Court: ‘You’re a child!’ But like, that was kinda like the first thing. And I do remember being the same in school, like you just want to fit in

Clo: Yeah 

Court: But Ii was kinda looking for people who were into all this stuff, and then when I was in first year somebody mentioned FOB, it was actually the year they went on hiatus, she’d gone to see them and I was like, who the hell are FOB, and then… no! That’s a lie, I knew who FOB were! So there was a Now 60-something or a Now 50-something...I can’t...what number are we on now? Would’ve been a Now 40, maybe, I don’t know, but it had This Ain’t a Scene It’s an Arms Race on it, and I remember listening to it and thinking that was the first time I’d ever heard a song for what it was, as opposed to just,

Clo: Yeah 

Court: Oh I like the music to this, or oh I like this, like I actually heard the lyrics and it was kind of my introduction to poetry I guess? I got really deep and emo into these things before I’d even realised I had but like I’d never thought about going to see these bands, cause that was like...I didn’t have any friends who liked them so like, going to a concert was completely beyond me. So a girl was like, I saw FOB and now they’ve gone on hiatus, and I was like well first of all, what the hell is a hiatus?

Clo: [laughs] 

Court: If only I knew [laughs]. And then like, second of all, I didn’t know that was even a possibility.  So like I think I discovered Paramore around the same time as you with the whole Twilight thing, with Decode and I Caught Myself and, em, I was kinda late to the My Chem game which is really interesting, there was people that were so into My Chem and I just...I dunno, I dunno what stopped me from...but like, at the same time, I was trying to listen to like Kanye West and all these other people I have absolutely no interest in now but that at the time I was like, ‘yeah other people talk about this stuff, I wanna listen to this too’. I did eventually find people who did like all the stuff i liked, and that was where I found Panic! at the Disco and like… god, I can’t even think of any of them, really, those are all the main ones.  I actually found my old iPod the other day and I looked at the music on it and it;s the same.

Clo: [laughs]

Court: It is the exact same stuff that I listen to now, they have two other bands that I don’t listen to now. Remember Young Guns? Clo: [excited] Yeah! 

Court: Yeah. Young Guns and Orson.

Clo: Oh my God, yes, they had that one song. Yesterday? 

Court: No Tomorrow

Clo: Tomorrow? Oh. 

Court: [laughs] ‘yesterday, or tomorrow?’ [Laughs] 

Clo: [laughs] 

Court: Yeah. That was the only difference, everything else was All Time Low. Oh yeah! Forgot to mention my faves. All Time Low. I am a sad All Time Low Stan. I have seen them 20 times and I don’t want to talk about it. 

Clo: [laughs] 

Court: But Paramore is your, like

Clo: Yeah Paramore are my baes. Like what you said about This Ain’t a Scene, I first...I’d heard of Misery Business because I was somebody who did like My Chem, I did like Fall Out Boy, and I would, like watch Kerrang! and Scuzz to try and find that music. At the same time, I was watching The Box. I was really, shamefully so, I was really into Chris Brown, I was really into – still really into – Beyoncé, just kind of into R&B but also into emo. Like my iPod would’ve been really really mixed at the time? 

Court: Yeah 

Clo: so I kind of was like, I fit in here, but I also fit in here with the emos, and I guess I kind of progressed more towards that because they understood me. [laughs] Like, they were really, really into this music and because I had been kind of into it but also as an outsider, someone who was the only person who was kind of into it, my interests were elsewhere. But I remember in first year I actually went to meet Gary Barlow from Take That.

Court: [incredulous] Wowwwww. 

Clo: And the picture… in the picture is me and I’m wearing a red and white top, I have like a black waistcoat on and there’s a little tiny Green Day badge on it 

Court: awhhhh!

Clo: I’m dressed in the colours of American Idiot. I’m like, staying true to myself but also, you know…

Court: hanging out with Gary Barlow? 

Clo: Hanging out with Gary Barlow! 

[both laugh]

Court: So I guess trying to define what emo actually is, is really difficult. 

Clo: Yeah. It’s different I think between different people. I guess like the American sense of the word might be something completely different to what it is here. I know at least in Ireland, or at least in my group, the emo kids didn’t just listen to emo music, we also listened to a lot of pop punk, and I don’t know if that would’ve blended in in America as well as it does here. I guess because here at least anyway – I think – emo is defined by what’s on Kerrang! 

Court: yeah 

Clo: and there was a lot of Good Charlotte, a lot of Sum 41, Puddle of Mudd, all that kind of stuff, and then as well, you have the goth music, like Marilyn Manson, Metallica, metal music that was kind of blending in with the emo scene as well, but it’s definitely…

Court: We didn’t have that distinction I don’t think. Like you see on American MySpace, and on Tumblr now even, they had a distinction between emo and scene kid. And I guess, considering the bands I was listening to, I probably would’ve been more scene than emo, but with the people I hung around with… I guess to me, the pinnacle of emo was My Chem. 

Clo: Yes. Definitely. 

Court: And, even, I’m like here’s all these other bands that I listen to… like, when you talk about emo, you talk about My Chem. But we were also limited in who came to play here I think. Even in England, they had a lot more bands and a lot more venues. Even if they only played in London you could still travel down, whereas here it was kind of… a bunch of bands came around 2010/2011/2012, and then nothing, and still kinda nothing, we go through phases of who comes here and who doesn’t. And even on revival tours or anniversary tours we’re skipped over a lot 

Clo: You Me at Six will never forget us, though. 

Court: I hope not. [laughs]. I mean, the last time they played here, he was like, ‘we’ll probably never come back here again’

Clo: Oh yeah! That was really sad 

Court: Thanks, Josh. [laughs] Really appreciate that. Still don’t know what he meant? Whether he was thinking like, Brexit, or he was thinking, ‘can’t be arsed with this’, or..

Clo: Is it because it’s so expensive to bring – did he say that on stage, or is it just a thought I had? This is my life. Is it something somebody said or is it something I thought? But did he say on stage that it’s too expensive to bring equipment over? 

Court: I don’t think so? 

Clo: then it was just a thought I had. 

Court: Maybe he’d said something like that before? I know – Tangent Time! – I know smaller bands… so there’s a band called Mallory Knox, who I really like, fucking love them so much, but I remember talking to them somewhere and being like, come play a show in Ireland and they were like, we’ve looked into it before the last few tours we’ve done and it’s just not worth it because of the cost of the venue and the cost of bringing over the equipment, it just… they were like, we’d end up losing money.

Clo: Ahh. 

Court: and he was like we can’t even guarantee that we’d like sell enough tickets to make it worthwhile, so they were like, sorry! 

Clo: Maybe it was you, then, who said it to me afterwards. I feel like we spoke about it afterwards and you must’ve said that to me. Because I don’t see how my brain would go there to think about that

Court: come up with that

Clo: yeah 

Court: I dunno, did….uhh….yeah, maybe I did. I really don’t know 

Clo: [laughs] 

Court: I really don’t remember. But getting back to what defining emo as, I do think it’s interesting that there’s a whole culture where your clothes and your hair and what you listen to were identifiable. You could see somebody in the street and even if they didn’t have the full fringe or multicoloured hair or the weird clip-in racoon extensions, you’d still know, that’s an emo 

Clo: yeah 

Court: that’s one of my people. And I think that’s something that always really interested me. 

Clo: Yeah actually, when I was standing on O’Connell Street earlier, I was kind of looking around to see what people were wearing and I was trying to pick out in my head like okay who around me might identify as emo or at one point identified as emo? I feel like it’s a bit harder now to pick somebody out as an emo because not only are we… not gone past the emo… stage, if that makes sense? 

Court: Yeah. I mean, the actual, like, era, I guess. 

Clo: era, that’s it. 

Court: I mean a lot of people wear the clothes now, so it’s not….

Clo: yeah, so a lot more people would wear Converse, a lot more people would wear Doc Martens, whereas back during the emo era, those were things that were reserved for emos. If you wore Converse, you were an emo. 

Court: People would make fun of you. 

Clo: Exactly. Whereas now, every second person is wearing Vans, everyone’s wearing Converse, and skinny jeans are huge, and the check shirts and all that kind of stuff. That was something that I would’ve worn a lot of and looked around for people in the Navan emo scene 

[both laugh]

Clo: to see who else was one of my people! But yeah, I think it’s a bit harder now to pick them out of a crowd. 

Court: Yeah. 

Clo: But it was something that hugely defined…. And I guess as well it goes with punk rock, you can tell a punk rocker, from then at least, a mile off. Mohawks, leather, all those kind of things, and definitely it’s the same with emo. 

Court: Yeah. I think even now, the whole idea of stuff a punk would wear, like patched jackets, that’s a big thing, everybody does it, or like you have facial piercings, you must be a goth, whereas everyone has their nose pierced. 

Clo: and tattoos as well! Wrist tattoos especially were I feel like a big thing in the emo era? Notably a phrase that was two words, one on each wrist. Or stars. 

Court: Ah, the stars. Remember those? Clo: The black and red stars.

Court: Reaaaally glad I never did that.

Clo: Same! [laughs] and I definitely think that again, they were things that were reserved for goths, emos etc but now they’re generally just...you know, flooded into the mainstream and they’re everywhere. 

Court: Yeah. So it’s really hard to define what it is now compared to what it was then. It was very very much a case of weirdos in the back of the classroom, everybody thought they were weird, and would say it, several times a day. Not speaking from experience or anything. [laughs] but you could see it, and they’d all kind of migrate towards each other and everything. And I don’t think that’s…. Maybe it’s not even as necessary anymore. I do think it was partially a survival thing, back in the day

Clo: Yeah

Court: Because there was such a stigma around having poor mental health, we’re talking even back in 2012… when did you finish school? 

Clo: 2011. 

Court: Yeah, so I finished in 2012 and even back then, you couldn’t talk about being depressed. Whereas, my sister goes to the school I went to and she said it’s much better now and I think you can talk a lot more openly about that kind of thing. And they’re a lot more accepting of LGBTQ students whereas when I was in school that was not discussed but you could kind of see an overlap between the emo kids and the ones who were LGBT. so I do think maybe in part it was a survival thing, we had a way of distinguishing ourselves so that we could find other people like ourselves. I don’t think anybody decided ‘let’s all wear this’, we also thought it was cool, it’s not like ‘Just gonna put on my survival gear now!’ but it did help, I think. You always know, oh hey I can talk to you about this band, most likely. Clo: Yeah

Court: but there was some people who like, if they were super into My Chem and you were like oh I like All Time Low, they’d be like [scoffing] ugh god they’re such sellouts, like I do remember someone laughing at me for saying All Time Low is my favourite band, she was like [scoffs] All Time BLOW? And I’m like, they call themselves that, it’s not 

Clo and Court: [together] an insult! 

Court: yeah! Like they fully know how terrible they are. And I fully know how terrible they are, but I still love them very much. But it’s just, I do think it’s interesting that that’s… 

Clo: Yeah, definitely. And even, I think the great thing about it as well – this actually happened to me, like, a few months ago, when I was in work. And this girl… she was like, chatting away to me, she was like 19 in NCAD [Irish national college of art and design] and she was talking to me about music and I had just gone to see You Me at Six do their ten-year Take Off Your Colours anniversary show and she was talking to me and she was like oh I’m an emo, I like My Chem and everything like this, and like I said she was about 19 and I was like oh have you ever heard of You Me at Six and she was like no, who are they? And she made me write down the name in her phone 

Court: [Laughs] 

Clo: So she could go look them up! And I was like oh my god she’s emo and she doesn’t know who YMAS are. But as well as that, being able to cluster to each other and find each other, we’re able to find new bands 

Court: Yeah 

Clo: and as much as I envy the 80s, everyone going to record stores 

Court: Yeah

Clo: As they romantically do in John Hughes films, I think we had a kind of a cool thing going on as well in that you’d find a band, you’d go home and you’d download their music

Court: illegally, usually 

Clo: you’d find it somewhere, illegally, and you’d download it and it was on your iPod. And I think that was a really fun time. Whereas now, with Spotify, there’s no such thing as listening to a whole album anymore, you listen to a single here and there but back in the emo era, you would download the whole album and you’d listen to it from cover to cover because you wanted to see if these would, you know…

Court: if they were any good, or if this was something you could add to your… I mean that was something as well that really appealed to me, I got bored with pop music. Pop music is designed to be boring after a while, it fits into a very specific time period and a very specific style, so when everybody else was listening to music and was like this person is really good, these are great, I’d get bored after maybe 10 or so listens, and the first time i listened to any of these bands, I realised there’s no trend. And i do think that has changed now. A  lot of bands, especially ones on major labels, have kind of fit into a trend. All the main guys like Fall Out Boy and Panic at the Disco, they change with the general mainstream trend.

Clo: Yeah 

Court: And it’s keeping them afloat, it’s giving them new audiences, cause obviously us ageing emos aren’t going to keep them alive forever but it is interesting how people switch genres now. Like, remember the whole Five Seconds of Summer thing? And like all those kids were previous One Direction fans and they scooped up a whole new 

Clo: music, yeah 

Court: based on kind of being pop punk? But kind of not. But all those kids would identify as emo. And I remember being on Twitter and seeing those kids be like ‘omg flannel shirts and skinny jeans are like the 5SOS uniform. Like you wear one and you know I’m a 5SOS fan’. 

Clo: oh my gosh 

Court: and it was really weird, but it was so weird seeing it because of what we just said, it used to be ‘that person probably likes FOB’ whereas they had their own little like, this is how I find my people. 

Clo: yeah 

Court: and i think being in that emo space…. I mean, I did my thesis on fandoms. I’m super into the concept of fandoms. I have a psychology degree, it’s not very useful. 

[both laugh] But! I did it on fandoms and on the people who are involved in fandom spaces and it has always fascinated me the way we gravitate. I was kind of on LiveJournal, I was kind of on MySpace. But for some reason as a child I was like, these can’t be… a child, I was like, 14… but these can’t possibly be Pete Wentz, this can’t actually be Hayley Williams, and I don’t why I doubted it so much. I think it was the whole ‘everyone’s lying on the internet’. So i was reading stuff and thinking that’s really cool, but it’s clearly not them. So I was kind of out of it a bit, and so I’d see it, and drama would happen, and I’d be like ‘what drama? They’re not real’. But you’d see that and it would be like an analog fandom, maybe you’d have friends to talk to or people in school to talk to but you weren’t like, entrenched in this community. It was very offline. So I think the coming online – maybe that’s why you don’t need the fashion as much anymore. It’s just if I have an account that has a My Chem lyric in it or a FOB lyric in it, or I tweet these bands I might find new friends. Or a lot of bands have their own forums or fanclubs and stuff, so maybe, I dunno, maybe that’s not a thing people need anymore. 

Clo: yeah. Definitely for me I came into the online world with bands, I went there to find them, but I would’ve had a fandom, or like a like for the band, offline. When Gabe Saporta from Cobra Starship joined twitter in 2008, that’s when I joined. I didn’t care about anyone else, I just wanted to find Gabe on twitter. 

Court: TELL ME ALL YOUR THOUGHTS, GABE. 

[both laugh]

Clo: And Bebo, I probably would’ve been on Bebo when I started my emoness, and at that point, your’e just friends with people you know. Instagram today you just follow people you don’t know, you make friends with people who are into the same things as you but you just never  meet them. Whereas with Bebo you got to know who from your friends were emo, as opposed to finding emo friends. 

Court: Yeah, I get that. I think now it’s a lot different. 

Clo: And I think that’s how we ended up flocking together. We met through another band who are not emo. Categorically not emo. And we ended up flocking together because we had shared interest in other bands like Green Day and Paramore and things like that. 

Court: Yeah, I actually don’t even remember where I met you first, but my first memory of hanging out with you properly was in the queue for Green Day. So Green Day played Marlay Park in..2010? 

Clo: Yep! 

Court: and I still think of that as possibly one of the best gigs of my life. And it was it was before Green Day released Uno, Dos and Tré. Which we will talk about in detail at some point when we do our Green Day special. But it was around then. No, they released that in 2012 or 2013. So it was post… it was 21 Guns! Yeah it was the 21 Guns tour! And I got to meet Paramore that day. My friend won a private meet and greet with Paramore and I was too smol to appreciate it properly. And I was 15 or 16… no I was just gone 15, and I remember like SHAKING all the way through it like I don’t know how to talk to people? And I remember my mother freaking out cause she was like you’re going to be hanging out with a band like by yourself and I was like, they’re Christian! And she was like oh ok good, they probably don’t even drink. And at the time I don’t think Hayley did, cause she was worried about her voice and stuff

Clo: Yeah 

Court: I remember being like these guys are good! But anyway I did that then I remember coming out and sitting on a wall then going over and queuing, and running into you and Nicole in the queue. And you guys were just in front of me for the whole thing. 

Clo: Yeah I remember that gig, it was amazing. It was such a good show. And yeah I remember you telling me you met Paramore and I was SO jealous. I didn’t end up meeting them until 2013 I’d say? I met them, they played Belsonic in Belfast, and I won meet and greet tickets through the Paramore Fan Club. 

Court: I remember that, and it was like 2 dudes and they were super nice? Wasn’t it? 

Clo: What? 

Court: The Paramore Fan Club. Wasn’t it two guys? 

Clo: Oh no. The american one? 

Court: the irish one? 

Clo: No it was through the online fanclub. So I paid like 30 dollars a year or something. 

Court: Woah. The All Time Low one was like 5 dollars a year. 

Clo: The following year they got rid of it so they ended up doing it for free and I was really annoyed and the only reason I paid 30 dollars was to be in the running to win tickets if they ran these competitions. But I had other friends who went up to Belfast with me and they had won tickets as well through the fan club so we all got to go in and meet them. I was so nervous. What did you say to them? Do you even remember what you said? Court: Em… I remember talking to Jeremy. He had a Linkin Park branded Sharpie and I was like that’s so cool and he launched into this big story about it and I was like [sigh] you’re so cool and I was babbling at Hayley about how psyched I was for the show and then I was like omg your shirt’s so cool – remember Skelanimals? They were like… 

Clo: yeah 

Court: So I was like [babbles]. There was a lot of that. Except like, their manager. I dunno if it was their manager, she could’ve been… I dunno who she was, but she was really bitchy and mean. And they were happy to just stand there and chat. Jeremy and Hayley were just chatting themselves and joining us into the conversation, Zac was kinda...there. As he often was, he was just kind of there. And then Josh came out late, said sorry to Hayley for being late and then stood behind us, ignoring us. 

Clo: Oh? 

Court: And I went over and said hi and he was like oh hi, and I was like there’s only two of us here and I know we’re talking five hundred miles an hour but we haven’t attacked you? And like I haven’t screamed or done anything terrible. Cause even when they came out and said hi first I was shaking so bad, but like I didn’t fangirl or anything, I was just trying to keep it all inside. And I was so proud of myself for being so, like, stoic. Like I am so cool. And then he came out and was all sorry I’m late to Hayley and she was like, yeah cool, and their manager came out and was like we’re doing pictures now and then they have to go. And they were kinda like, we’re just chatting, it’s fine, so she kinda hurried them on. But I remember like, I loved Josh up to that point and it was real like, ‘never meet your heroes’ except Hayley was amazing. She was so sweet and so nice and she like gave us hugs and everything and it was just….it was… for never having met a band before, and that being my first experience of meeting a band, it was so positive except for the Josh bit cause I remember leaving and being devastated. 

Clo: Yeah it’s definitely a case of don’t meet your heroes. Josh and Zac were gone by the time I got to meet them so it was just Jeremy, Taylor and Hayley. I was freaking out a bit. I was chatting to Jeremy, I don’t remember what I said because my friend afterwards was like oh my god you were chatting away it was great and I was like “Were we? I don’t remember.” I was shaking so much. I remember Hayley came to sign my...I had this Paramore book...I was like ‘I like your hair!’ and as soon as I said it, I was like “CLODAGH. What have you done. Why did you say that?! She probably gets that all the time, it’s probably the one thing she doesn’t want to hear at a meet and greet. What have I done, I’m so uncool, I said I like your hair to Hayley Williams”. She gets it all the time, so I was super embarrassed about that. But for a first time, it was really good. 

Court: Yeah, I think for a band that are that big that are constantly getting bigger still – like they’re one of the few bands that are still growing because their sound has changed as they’ve gone on and it’s one of the few sounds that I believe it’s what they wanted to do, as opposed to a big label has gone hey, you need to appeal to this audience. Like I honestly believe that’s the music they wanted to write and that’s why I still like it, but for a band that big to be that accessible is cool. 

Clo: I also think they have kept their audience as well. Fair enough, the last time they played here they played the Olympia Theatre [a 3,000 capacity venue in Dublin] which is a lot smaller than the 3 Arena

Court: So good though 

Clo: Which they previously played, it was so good though, it was a great gig I was front row. But they didn’t… they could’ve well played the 3 Arena and kept the same audience. And even brought new people to see them. So I think they sold themselves short on that one. 

Court: Yeah. I wonder was it just cause they hadn’t been here for a while? You see some bands be like, I don’t think we’ll sell this venue. Cause I know All Time Low played the O2 or the 3 Arena or whatever it’s called now

Clo: I think it’s the 3 Arena 

Court: I’m old. Anyway, they played the 3 Arena and they ended up having to block out all the seats cause they just… they just might as well have played the Olympia. 

Clo: I didn’t know that they played the 3 Arena, how long ago was that? 

Court: That was….. 2016. 

Clo: Okay. Okay. 

Court: Just delving back into my All Time Low memories. [laughs]

Clo: Yeah. 

Court: yeah, 2016. So they had done an arena tour in England and obviously thought, this is the same. And you’re like, no buddy, no it’s not. It was the same when they played Belsonic, everybody from Dublin just travelled up there and all the people from Belfast who wouldn’t normally travel, and some people flew over as well, so obviously they sold out Belsonic.

Clo: Yeah. 

Court: And I think they thought well, we can do something this size in Dublin as well. 

Clo: mmhmm. 

Court: Cause they announced their Dublin show and I was really excited and everyone that was there was like ‘I’m not fuckin travelling down there for that.’

Clo: [laughs]. Although I’ve seen All Time low and I’ve listened to... some of their albums are really good ...pop...emo music. I don’t know if I can say that in front of you. 

Court: [laughs] you can, that’s ok. I can take it. 

Clo: I really enjoyed them, but I wouldn’t consider myself a huge fan. Like I said, I would listen to their stuff but I’m not really...I wouldn’t say they were one of my faves anymore. 

Court: They’re still one of my faves. I mean their last album was diabolical. I just hated it so much, it made me angry. 

Clo: mmhmm. 

Court: It was one of those things where I thought, you tried something and it just didn’t work. 

Clo: And that’s quite upsetting though, when your favourite band goes and does something like that, cause I can’t even imagine the heartache I’d have if Paramore came out with a shit album. 

Court: See I think for them, they’ve been on FBR for so long, All Time Low only recently got signed to Fueled by Ramen, so I feel that they were like oh we need to try something new so they had this 80s electro-synth-pop-sort-of-pop-punk thing that they tried? And it was supposed to be a concept album except it wasn’t very well put together. Obviously somebody in a marketing room was like we have this character and you could write the thing about the character. But that only ever worked for My Chem. And only because Gerard was a genius. 

Clo: Absolutely. And he’s somebody that obviously you can see with The Umbrella Academy which is on Netflix now, he was, or is, a writer and he knows how to write these intricate stories about characters. Whereas, All Time Low, they don’t really have a background in that? Court: [laughs] 

Clo: I’ve never seen them come out with anything outside of that…

Court: they’ve done one kind of experimental album before. I loved it, people hated it. I hated it when I first heard it and it’s now one of my favourite of their albums. And this one was just… horrendous. Actually disappointing as hell. But they’re still my faves and I still have small faith that their next thing they’ll go back to basics. And they kind of have, they’ve released a couple of singles and they’re kind of more what they used to play. Paramore are still a fave...even though Panic! At the Disco is now just Brendon Urie – I mean it has been for a while, but now that it’s admittedly just Brendon, I still love them. I remember I saw something the other day where you were like I hate their new album. And, I don’t! I don’t love it, I like some things on it, I don’t actively hate it. 

Clo: Their style from every single album that they’ve released, their style has changed. 

Court: Yeah

Clo: when you go from AFYCSO to Pretty.Odd, they’re so different. I feel like their second album Pretty.Odd is so different because I know Ryan Ross was a massive fan of the Beatles

Court: yeah 

Clo: And I feel like he took creative control of that album and fucked shit up and left the band. Their third one… Vices and Virtues, that was… 

Court: I think that’s my favourite 

Clo: I really like that one. They are… I feel like the Ballad of Mona Lisa is pop but emo. 

Court: Yes. 

Clo: It had radio success, at least here in Ireland. 

Court: I think I agree. That was their single they released. Before that they had done a single for Jennifer’s Body. Loved that film, so good. Him and Spencer – oh, Spencer! 

Clo: [fond] awh. That was when Ryan and 

Court: Jon 

Clo: Jon Walker. Had left. 

Court: I always feel like Ryan thought, because he wrote the lyrics for that, that if he left them, they’d be screwed. 

Clo: Yeah

Court: And then, they weren’t. Cause actually Brendon is really good at writing songs. I just think he’d never got a chance before that. If they were to play here or they were to play somewhere that I could get to, I’d go see them again, no bother. I’ve seen them in England a couple of times, once in the Forum in London and…...I think they played Slamdunk as well one year, too. And then they played the Olympia here a few years ago too. 

Clo: Yeah that’s the only time I’ve seen them. I went to that gig on my own, actually. 

Court: Awhhh! I didn’t know you were there!!

Clo: And it was incredible! I had so much fun. It was enjoyable cause I think the girl beside me was on her own as well

Court: Oh, okay

Clo: But we didn’t really like...it was a non-spoken thing, we were just kind of there having a great time 

Court: That was a great gig. I’m trying to think who else… Obviously FOB. I’m not mad on their new stuff, but I feel like FOB are emo dads. 

Clo: yeah

Court: and they’ve grown with their sound and it’s….I think it’s respectful of their original audience, as opposed to being too commercial in some ways. I feel like a lot of their audience is our age and older, like people in their early 30s were into FOB cause they were the original emo band, so I do think that what they’ve done is that they’ve grown with their own sound and they’re kind of going ‘we’re in our 30s and we’re dads and we’re getting older and here’s stuff that we’d listen to’, but that still respects the lyrical thing that got people interested in the first place. I can respect it even if I don’t love it. 

Clo: yeah 

Court: And then obviously My Chem. 

Clo: They are… yeah. We are in twenty nine scene right now. 

Court: TWENTY NINE SCENE! YEAH! 

Clo: They… their last album was set in 2019, Danger Days

Court: Was it?!

Clo: it was set in the future 

Court: We’re in the future! 

Clo: We’re now in 2019 and there was a lot of conversation about, will they come back in 2019 because I was actually listening to it earlier on and at the end, Dr. Death who’s like the radio voice over – it’s another concept album – he says, you know, ‘bye for now, I know you’ll miss me’ and there was a lot of conversation about whether My Chem will come back in 2019. Obviously in 2019 we have the Umbrella Academy which is Gerard Way’s comic that was released on Netflix…. Will they come back? Who knows. We’ve got another 7 months to find out. 

Court: I can’t see it happening. I would love… I never got to see them live. 

Clo: Did you not? 

Court: No. And when they last played here in 2011, they were giving away tickets on the radio, that was Brian and Dara on the Lock In [a radio show that ran at night on Irish music station Spin1038 between 2011–2013ish that played more alternative music and gave away tickets to alternative shows]... the Lock Down? 

Clo: The Lock In 

Court: The Lock In. And they were giving away tickets. And I’ve Blink tickets, I’ve won all sorts of tickets but this girl I know who was a huge huge fan of My Chem won them instead of me, and I was like yeah I’m happy, I’ll catch them the next time. 

Clo: Yeahhh….

[both laugh] 

Court: and it just didn’t happen. I did get to see Gerard play at Reading and Leeds...Well it was Leeds fest I went to, in 2014, so when he did…. I mean, it was as close as I was going to get 

Clo: yeah 

Court: You’re making a face, Clodagh’s making a face

Clo: Close enough 

Court: yeah, it was fine, I didn’t love that 

Clo: Did they do any My Chem songs? 

Court: No. And he said, I watched, actually, an interview the other day, I dunno it was from four years ago, but he said that when he was doing those tours that he didn’t want to play My Chem songs because he didn’t want to set a precedent where people would expect him to always do that 

Clo: Okay

Court: Cause I think he thought he was going to continue doing music, and then he disappeared off the face of the earth for a while, then he ended up in Wales. It was a whole weird thing. 

Clo: Yeah I was on his Twitter account the other day doing a lot of research for this podcast, and he had something like ‘go follow this account for updates on Gerard Way’s life’ or something, I can’t remember what the account was called, but he hadn’t tweeted himself since 2015 

Court: yeah he literally just stepped back from everything. I think he had, I dunno, whether he just got kinda lost? Or wanted to spend more time with his family, and then got focused on UA and on writing more… I think he’s still writing UA, I’m not sure? 

Clo: I think he might have another one as well, I can’t remember the name of it but it was in his Twitter bio so I can only assume he had been writing another comic or something else. Which is great, at least we’re still getting something from Gerard Way’s brain. 

Court: He’s still working on stuff, but I think he’s just kinda done. And I’ve seen Frank Iero andthe Cellabration and whatever one came after the Cellabration. So Frank Iero’s bands at the moment have a concept for each album but he changes the band name for every concept. The first one was FrnkIero andthe Cellabration, then there was FI and the.. something  [Patience], and now there’s FIAT Future Violents. 

Clo: See this I didn’t know 

Court: Yeah so I’ve seen them…. Twice. Three times? No, I went through a phase of having...I developed really bad anxiety and I had a sensory problem where loud noises would cause me to have panic attacks. So I went to see Frankie in The Academy and somebody whistled really loudly close by and I literally had a panic attack and had to go home so I saw them twice and was in the room to see them three times. 

Clo: Oh no! 

Court: Which kinda sucked. But I got to see them, I saw them in Bristol, which was a weird place to go to, they supported Mallory Knox 

Clo: another band 

Court: Yeah, Mallory. I’d travel...Well I don’t anymore, I can’t anymore, but I used to travel a lot for gigs. Especially when you go to England, tickets are like 15 quid. 

Clo: They’re dirt cheap. 

Court: Yeah. Like it’s obviously because it’s easier for them to get there and easier for them to get gear around and stuff, but you’d spend 15 quid on a ticket and have the best time of your life. 

Clo: 15 euro on a Ryanair flight.

Court: Yeah! 

Clo: I used to be the same. I think the last time I travelled to see a band was last January, a band called [inaudible], psychadelic rock, totally not emo. They were really really good, but other than that, I would’ve travelled a good bit to see YMA6, I was a bit obsessed with them there for a while. And their live gig Final Night of Sin, and  I went to see them in Southampton but it was completely random but it was the only place I could get tickets for, Belfast a couple of times, but other than that I think it’s been pretty quiet with regards to travelling for gigs. It’s definitely mostly been YMA6. 

Court: Yeah. Like there’s no bands….the next band I’m going to see is Fever 333, and it’s the singer used to be in Letlive., if you remember that from a couple of years ago? So there’s nothing like, it’s really quiet here, bands don’t really come here. 

Clo: Yeah, like I said earlier we had YMA6 came over in November, they played their 10 year anniversary show for Take Off Your Colours. Before that, I can’t remember the last emo band that I went to see. 

Court: Yeah. I had tickets for Cute is What We Aim For. Now, I had those tickets, and then they cancelled, and then I found out some stuff that he’d said online originally when the MeToo stuff came out. And it was really stupid and ignorant. He apologised because people were like EHHH, SORRY? 

[together] WHAT? 

Court: And he was basically schooled, and he did apologise genuinely, but I was still like, that’s dodgy as all hell. It was basically just like ‘women are stronger than that’ and it was just like, no. 

Clo: uhhhhh….

Court: It was real like, he wanted to be on the side of, women aren’t weak because that’s what he thought women were saying? 

Clo: Okay…

Court: And he completely got the wrong end of the stick and it was really shitty when I read it, and I read his apology and his apology was better than most apologies we’ve seen and it was just, like, a completely ignorant thing he’d said. But I think had I seen that before, I would’ve been really mad.

Clo: Would it have turned you off going? 

Court: Probably, I do think that’s another episode we need to talk about 

Clo: Definitely 

Court: what would actually stop you going to see a band, because as we know, over the last couple of years, a lot of bands have been outed for doing shitty things, especially in the era of MeToo, we’ve had a lot of people come forward and say this happened to me, this happened to me. Something had happened to a friend of mine, actually, a few years ago, that she was really brave and came forward and said… and that drama is still ongoing, which is really sad and really shit because other people are now involved in it too, and I just think like when you’re a teenager, you’re really trusting. 

Clo: yeah 

Court: and even if you are attracted to people in the band, you don’t really know what it is you’re expecting to happen? So if someone were to give you that kind of attention or ply you with drink or do whatever, I don’t know how I would’ve reacted as a kid to that, and obviously not every experience is mine, maybe some people did think they knew what they were getting into and it didn’t turn out that way. I do think that’s a future topic 

Clo: definitely. So I think we’re going to wrap it up, I think we’re going to talk a little bit about maybe what kind of reunions would you like to see over the next Twenty Nine Scene. What do you want to see happen? 

Court: Hmm. Obviously I would love to see My Chem come back

Clo: yes

Court: I don’t think they will. I think Gerard’s so resistant to the idea of doing anniversary tours. But a lot of bands are and then it comes around to it and nostalgia and stuff kicks in, so obviously that’s going to be top of the list. Emm… I’d love to see Hey Monday. 

Clo: Oh my god, YES. I’d love for that to happen. 

Court: I know Cassadee is… Cassadee Pope, she went on the Voice of America or whatever they call it over there, won, and is now is like a really successful country-music star. Which, like, good for you! Some of her songs are so great. I’d love maybe a one-off date maybe in England somewhere, I might go. 

Clo: I would love to see that happen. 

Court: Whatever happened to Metro Station?

Clo: Oh gosh. I’ve no idea. They met on the set of Hannah Montana, the two guys, obviously Trace Cyrus is Miley’s brother, and Mason Musso was the brother of the guy from Hannah Montana, I don’t remember what his name was, Oliver or whatever 

Court: Yeah 

Clo: So that was bizarre 

Court: [laughs] 

Clo: and the least emo thing to happen, hanging out on the set of Hannah Montana, but I think...I would actually like to see them. I really would, I remember there was a tour, Believers Never Die, and it was Hey Monday, Metro Station, FOB, Cobra Starship, and another band… but I remember that being my dream lineup. Really really wanted to go see that. 

Court: that sounds amazing 

Clo: I think ATL were the fifth band 

Court: Of course they were 

Clo: Cherry on the top of the cake for you. [laughs] 

Court: Of course they were. Cobra Starship – you were...I just remember…. We didn’t really talk that much online, but I remember vague Facebook interactions, you were OBSESSED with Cobra Starship 

Clo: [laughs] 

Court: whenever I thought of CS, I’d be like ‘Clodagh really likes them’

Clo: their music wasn’t really emo, I think they kind of got their association, at least for me, through FOB. Gabe and Pete were really good friends, and they were on the same record label as well. I was obsessed with CS. I remember when I found out I won the meet and greet with CS, I fell to the floor 

Court: [laughs] 

Clo: and started crying 

Court: super, super dramatic 

Clo: very dramatic. So we met them, the meet and greet was amazing. I have a photograph that is just awful. We queued all day obviously so we’d get front row, but it didn’t matter if we got front row. In the meet and greet our phones died, and we have one really, really bad picture, it’s pixellated, it’s really dark, it was taken in the Green Room in the Academy downstairs just in bar lighting conditions 

Court: Can we put it on the instagram? 

Clo: yes 

Court: even though it’s horrible? 

Clo: I don’t think we’ll be able to make it out 

Court: just circle your face 

Clo: if I can figure it out, it’s very very dark. I’d love to see them. A band called Family Force Five supported them. Do you remember them? 

Court: No?

Clo:They were like Christian metal emo, right. 

Court: what a genre. That’s a mash up. 

Clo: Their albums are really good and kinda metally-emo, but they were about Jesus and God. But they were kinda really good. 

Court: There was a lot of Christian rock bands. Paramore started out as that. Then remember like Skillet? 

Clo: Reliant K? I don’t know how that’s pronounced. 

Court: Reliant K, yeah. 

Clo: I used to love them, they were kinda Christian rock as well. 

Court: yeah. It was really strange how many of those bands because as famous as they did and then… I’m sure we’ve forgotten loads for the reunion, but obviously top of 2019 wishlist is My Chem. 

Clo: 100%. So that’s it for this week, thank you so much for tuning in and listening to this podcast, Kids From Yesterday. If you’d like to find us on Instagram we’re @kidsfromyesterdaypod and we’re on Twitter, @kidsfromydaypod. 

Court: If you’re listening, make sure to share it, share it with your friends, tell people...I dunno… share 

Clo: post it on your instagram story and tag us so we can share it too. We wanna be friends. 

Court: we need friends. We don’t have any friends. Yeah, so, thanks so much for listening, and we’ll catch you next week. BYEE. 

Clo: byeee.

#emo #emoo #podcast #podcast transcript #kids from yesterday pod transcript #my chemical romance #mcr #gerard way #umbrella academy #YMAS #YMA6 #FOB #paramore #fall out boy #metro station #cobra starship #gabe saporta #emo kids #emo girl #irish

[serrpentine]

💕  valentine’s day drabble !  💕

The focused redhead is immersed in the piles of work just for a tinier redhead to peek his little head around the door, small hands curled over the door frame as he watches his father finalize each piece of paperwork he’s currently fixated on. The little boy does enjoy observing, reason why he’s so quiet most of the time. It’s already shaping him to be so smart simply because he’s been very observant of everything in this big wide world since he was brought into it three years ago.

But– there’s something else. He doesn’t want to get snapped at, knows this is his daddy’s quiet space. Remembers very well when he came rushing in a few weeks ago because he was hyped up on sugar and excited about something Simba did while Axl had already been stressing over getting something done he’d been working on for hours and then he got in trouble. Which ultimately broke Axl’s heart after he was a little too harsh, his tone had been too harsh with the little boy. Axl hasn’t used that tone with him since, unless he was really doing something he really shouldn’t.

The little redhead has ants in his pants though, he just wants to explode at what he wants to show Axl. But he won’t do it, he won’t go any closer. Won’t go past this door. So once Axl finally feels him there, feels his other little shadow aside from Erin, he quickly gasps, hiding the rest of his small body, body that’s so tiny his head doesn’t even touch the doorknob yet. Peeking one eye past the door before explaining, “I’m jus’ watchin’.” he innocently replies in his little voice. It makes the singers heart sink, he knows what this is all about. “Would you stop doing that? I’m not gonna get mad. C’mere.” Gently smiling at the strawberry haired boy, waving him to him, trying to at least. “C’mon little nugget, don’t you ever be scared to come in.”

The little boy thinks he might be allowed but he doesn’t know yet, stepping out from behind the door and walking halfway in before stopping again. Axl sighs, thinking he should try explaining to him again, “I know it seemed like I got mad at you last time but I wasn’t. See, sometimes stress makes a person say things they don’t mean. I didn’t mean to get all grouchy at you, I would never mean that. Now, not sayin’ you should come being loud around bedtime but if the door’s open that means you can come in. If it’s closed that means dad is real busy and can’t talk unless it’s an emergency.” He explains, hearing a small, “Okay.” in return.

A frown curves the older redhead’s features, his heart still shattering. “That make sense though? Understand?” Just needing to make sure before the little boy nods. “Yes.” Voice a little louder before he walks closer, reaching his short arms up because he wants to give his father a hug. Axl quickly picks him up, feeling like he could almost cry these kind of things always make him so sensitive. “I never meant to hurt your feelings, baby.” Axl tells him while the smaller other tightly clings to his neck, kissing his cheek. “And I want you to remember what I said. All of what I just said but most importantly that I don’t want you ever to be scared, okay?” Giving the little boy he’s tightly holding a hopeful look. “C'mon, what do you think? I’m gonna bite ya? I won’t bite. Dad isn’t some..mean ol’ grizzly bear, that’s mommy when you wake her up way early in the morning.” Axl laughs, tickling his side.

A loud giggle escapes him and a smile finally breaks across those features Axl loves too much, features that mirror his own. It’s like looking at himself as a baby, really. It’s so strange but in the absolute best way possible. It’ll never fail to make him smile in return. “Okay, daddy. I know you didn’t mean to hurt my feelin’s.” Saying this in his tiny voice while using one small hand to absently poke at his chest, his little plump lower lip jutting out some while he speaks, “An’ I won’t be scared. Cause you tolds me not to be scared. I’m not scared.” Shaking his head and Axl chuckles, thrilled and relieved that he knows that now.

“Yup. I tolds you not to be scared.” Agreeing with a firm nod, the little boy’s wide contagious grin making Axl just want to explode with both happiness and amusement. Happiness because he’s just too darn cute and amusement because he doesn’t even catch on to him kindly mocking his words that doesn’t make sense to anybody that isn’t a three year old. “Better not forget it either cause I love you very much.” That makes the little boy’s red brows perk with bewilderment, excitement because ‘very much’ sounds like so much to him. “I won’ts forget it cause I love you very much.” The toddler tells him in return, practically squealing. “Good. That makes me reeeally happy, ya know?” Squeezing his little munchkin, Axl finally takes notice to the paper hanging out of his back pocket, “What’s that you got there?” Pointing to it as he curiously asks.

“It’s what I wanted to show you!” The boy lets go of his dad so he can climb back off his lap with the help of Axl, quickly running to the door to shut it with both hands before turning back to the curious man and pulling the paper from his back pocket. Holding it up for his dad to see. Axl sees he must have been going through the newspaper again, makes him laugh a little because his son tends to copy everything he and Erin do and start making a routine of it everyday. He probably just got done eating his breakfast and had been looking through the newspaper while he’d been eating since he’s holding up a page from the discount section, specifically what Target’s advertising. On the front of the page is decked out in pink and red, advertising chocolates and things like, ‘Get your Valentine a nice gift this holiday!’ with gigantic bears and roses, of course advertising for the soon approaching holiday. Valentine’s Day. But he’s pointing to the section beside of it, with a range of different flowers.

“I saw dese flowers, mommy will like dese flowers! Can we go pick ‘em for hers?” The little one excitedly asks before Axl is beaming. Sunflowers. He saw the sunflowers and knows all too well those are his mommy’s favorite. How much more thoughtful and lovable can a toddler get? And he thinks you ‘pick’ them in the store which is even funnier. “Yeah, that’s a great idea, bud. We’ll get her these and the big bear, what do you think?” Axl points to the bear that’ll be five times the size of the little boy. He eagerly nods. “Yay!! We have to get the big bear too, mommy needs that. But shhh, it’s a se-cwet.”  He places his tiny finger to his small lips to show Axl he has to be quiet. “Of course, we can’t let mom know until Valentine’s Day. But you know what? I’m glad you showed me that. We’re runnin’ outta time. Valentine’s Day is only two more days away. How about we head there now? Then we’ll come back and make our own homemade cards for her.” Grinning as Axl stands up, slowly taking the paper from the boy so he can fold it up and put it in his back pocket. His son already bouncing up and down before Axl leans down to pick him up, carrying him out of the office and leaving his work behind since this will be way more important than that ever will. Family that is.

Axl stops by the boy’s room first, placing him down on his bed and telling him to keep sitting up straight. He gets him socks and his tiny black converses out, slipping both onto his small feet after he takes a seat beside him on the bed. Tying the laces before putting his green jacket on since he’s already got his jeans and a shirt on. Zipping it up to keep his tiny body warm, he picks him back up and then carries him to his and Erin’s bedroom. Now placing his companion on his big bed, Axl gets his own coat, socks and shoes on. Erin’s luckily occupied in the shower and the redhead’s calling out to her in the adjoining room while he’s grabbing his wallet and then picking up the antsy little boy again. “I’m goin’ to the store! I won’t be gone for long. I’m takin’ the baby with me.” Of course he can’t turn away without her telling him to be careful, put him in his car seat and that she loves them twenty times. Axl just yells back, “I know, I know what to do. Love you too!” While the smaller red yells in his tinier voice, “Love you mommy!” after Axl does before his father turns them away and heads outside for the car.

Taking the thirty minutes to get to the store, they have the cart filled with gifts for the number one girl they think deserves it most. The little boy helping his dad pick out things he didn’t even think of, the utmost content written across his little face as he happily kicks his legs while Axl pushes him around the store and specially picks out what they think Erin will love. They get her jewelry, box of chocolates, lotions and perfumes because they know she loves to smell good, a new photo album that’s heart themed and includes stickers because they know how crafty she likes to be, a bouquet of fifty roses and fifty of those sunflowers they saw in the paper. And last but not least the chocolate covered strawberries and the gigantic stuffed bear that the little boy can’t get over, he’s still going on about how big and ‘awesome’ the bear is and how ‘mama is gonna love it so much’ the way back home.

Axl has to get their son to distract his mother while Axl gets all of Erin’s gifts in the house, taking them upstairs before the boys disappear half of the day in Axl’s office. Wrapping all of her presents or putting them down into gift bags, coloring her sheets out of a Scooby Doo coloring book themed Valentine’s Day the toddler wanted while they were at the store. Making her messy paper hearts and both of them each making her a card. Axl placing a hand written and heartfelt letter in hers too before they finally finish for the day.

The next two days come so slowly because the both of them are about to explode because they just cannot wait until Erin gets her gifts. So once Valentine’s morning finally comes, they’re both up bright and early. Axl goes and rouses the sleepy redhead from his deep sleep after he has the heart shaped pancakes made and ready to eat, likes to sleep as much as he does. But the second he reminds him what day it is Axl’s having to catch up with his tiny legs since he’s already make a beeline for his room. Having to wait for his dad anyway since the bed is far too tall for him to climb in, Axl assisting him as he picks him up and places him on the bed next to the sleeping Erin. All her gifts swarmed around her, her letter, cards and Scooby-Doo pictures they colored tucked into the pink envelopes over by the pancakes on the nightstand that’s giving the room a sweet buttery scent, thirty heart shaped balloons tied to the bouquets of flowers. And once the sleeping beauty stirs, both redhead’s lean down to pepper her face in kisses, exclaiming, 

                                                     “Happy Valentine’s Day, mommy!” 

#erinseverly #ITS SO LONG OMG but #this made me tear up w happiness :')))))))))))))))))))) #i have died and gone to heaven #this is just so cute it shouldnt be legAL #i wanted to do it with all 4 of their kids in the other verse until i realized how impossible that'd be since #they dont have names yet so i went with this one since they only have one kid and even though using 'he' excessively drives me crazy lol its #still ok !! :') au verse w little red turned out just as adorable !!!! #im d y i n g

[carolineimagines]

He’ll Be Missed (Sam Drake x Reader Imagine) (2/2)

 A/N: Hey, I decided to not fight the urge to update with the second part of the imagine, considering the number of notes I got, so here it is. I enjoyed writing this, and I hope you enjoy reading this.

So, let’s get on to the story…

Warnings: Language.

Words: 2159

15 years later

“Jack! Emilie! Get your asses down here for breakfast!” I bellow as I stand at the bottom of the stairs, growing impatient as the set of twins take their sweet time getting down for breakfast. I tap my foot on the floorboards repeatedly, heaving a sigh of relief when I hear a set of feet stomping their way out of their rooms.

“Mum! What’s your deal?” My daughter, Emilie, snarls before letting out an un-lady like yawn from the top of the stairs. I let out a laugh, not bothering enough to even attempt to stifle it. Her usually tamed Y/H/C hair is now in knots and tangles; the definition of bed head.“Mum, this is so not funny.”

“Sure it isn’t, now, get down here and have some breakfast before I leave for work. Okay?” I sternly reply, shaking my head at the same time.

“What kind of psycho makes a person work on Christmas Eve?” The other twin (my son Jack) complains as he barges past his sister, making his way down the stairs. I leave a peck on his forehead, causing his nose to crinkle in disgust.

“Sorry, couldn’t resist,” I repeat the process with Emilie, who is more willing.

“So, mum…” Emilie trails on, making her eyes go wide. Obviously, she wants a sneak peek at her presents.

“Uh, no. You’ll have to wait till tomorrow.” I chuckle when she groans, smacking her head on the table.

“Mum, can I ask you an important question? Not about presents.” Jack asks, refusing to make eye-contact as he keeps his eyes on the tablecloth.

“Shoot.” I begin to place the plates on the table, my 15-year-olds arguing quietly about a topic unknown to me.

“What happened to our dad?”

Smash!

I drop a plate on the floor, mimicking my heart as it plummets at his question. How am I supposed to answer such a question? What, hey kids, your father died by getting shot three times in the heart? I don’t think so…

I take a deep breathe in as I sat down on the seat.

“Mum… I shouldn’t have said anything. Please, don’t cry…” Jack clutches me, whilst his sister follows shortly. I hadn’t even realised that a tear had run down my cheek.

“It’s fine sweetheart, it’s just a sensitive subject.”

“Did he cheat on you? If he did, I will hunt him down, and murder his sorry ass.” Jack states in a low and calm voice, slightly frightening me.

“No, of course not! Your father was an amazing and faithful man.” I smile at the protectiveness that he used in his tone. 

“Was?” Emilie gulps, and I gasp suddenly realising my slip up. I now realise they are no longer small and naive to believe my excuses. They’re now relatively smart teenagers that need answers.

“Yes… I found out that your father passed away the day I was going to tell him I was pregnant with his children.” I frown at the memory, his smirk filling each dark corner of my mind.

“Did you love him?” Emilie questions, she has always been a stereotypical girly-girl; absolutely in love with the idea of love.

“More than anything in the world,” I state confidently, smiling slightly. After 15 years, and I still haven’t moved on.

“Mum, I think you’re late for work,” Jack, still in shock, whispers, and I ruffle his chestnut brown hair. Jack seems to have inherited all of Sam’s genes and traits; almost an exact replica, especially his gorgeous eyes. However, Emilie gained my looks and sassy personality. Not that it’s a horrible thing, but the surprise and the sceptical look on my face when the nurses passed me two completely different children is not something to go unnoticed.

“Alright, I’m gonna skip breakfast. Goodbye darlings; I’ll be back soon.” I kiss their foreheads as a quick goodbye.

“Wait! One more question.” Jack stops me from shutting the door shut after gathering all of my things.

“Yes?” I raise an eyebrow, curious as to what the new found question will be.

“What’s his name?”

“Sam Drake, or Sam Morgan,” I answer quickly, without a thought about why they would need to know. “Alright, I really need to go now. Bye.”

“Bye mum!” They both shout in unison.

Jack’s P.O.V

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” I ask Emilie as I rush to grab my phone from the burgundy desk rammed against the wall.

“That our father is Uncle Nate’s brother.” She grumbles, whilst snacking on a piece of toast mum had left. I scoff at her incompetence and roll my eyes.

“You know, why don’t you just eat that whilst I prepare mum’s present,” I say as I dial my favourite uncle’s number. My sister nods her head clearly too focused on her meal to care. It takes the phone to ring twice before Uncle Nate picks the phone up.

“Hello?” His cheerful voice booms through the line, clearly in the Christmas mood.

“Hi, it’s Jake. Get over here in five minutes; it’s for mum.” I demand, not bothering to explain; if he cares for my mum, he won’t let me down. I hope mum will like her Christmas present.

Y/N’s P.O.V

“’Lena, Nate, good to see you!” I greet the godparents of Emilie and Jack as they enter my home. It’s finally Christmas day, and everyone has gotten together to open presents and overall have a good time.

“You too, Y/N! Merry Christmas, and where are your two teenage pride and joys?” Nate choruses, whilst passing me a bin bag supposedly filled with their presents. I chuckle when Nate charges in like a maniac, and Elena close behind with an apologetic look.

“Yeah, Y/N. Where are my god-children?” Elena raises her voice at the end like she’s always done. Every. Christmas.

“Emilie’s in the kitchen preparing the food, and Jack… God knows where he is.” I shake my head, honestly the things Jack can get up to.“I’m just going to go set the presents down, alright?“ 

"Yeah, fine by us. But, Y/N, I have to warn you. The kids have prepared you an incredible gift that would most likely cause you to cry; so try to prepare yourself for that.” Elena rubs my arm kindly, explaining how amazing the gift will be.

“Now I’m intrigued,” I say in a sing-song voice.

“Don’t you dare try and look for it.” Nate teases as he points a finger accusingly.

“I would never!” I place my hands to my heart in mock hurt.

“Hey, mum?” Jack calls my name when he walks down the staircase.

“Yes, hun?" 

"Em needs help in the kitchen.”

“I’ll take that as my cue to leave, I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me,” I say towards my guests. I’ve never been the eaves-dropping type. But, I’ve always been curious, and I guess that’s my justification as to why I stayed behind the door.

“Is everything prepared?” Jack mumbles on the other side of the door.

“Yeah, all we have to do is wait.” Nate’s much louder voice whispers. I hear footsteps, and I run to the kitchen to where Emilie is.

“Hey, sweetie. How much longer till the food’s ready?” I smile at my daughter, who’s rushing around the kitchen, picking out bits and bobs. She absolutely adores cooking and wants to become a chef when she’s older. Who am I to not support my daughter’s dream?

“All that’s left is for the food in the oven to finish cooking, and I’ll be done.” She nods at her masterpiece, she rapidly turns on her heels towards me with a big smirk on her face.

“What is it, Em?” I roll my eyes playfully, much too far in the Christmas spirit to be annoyed.

“Do you think we can open the presents before eating, as a new tradition. I’m sure everyone would agree.” She asks, albeit suspiciously, and I eye her sceptically.

“Why not? I’m a little eager myself this year.” I laugh, heading out of the kitchen and into the occupied living room.

“Emilie has suggested opening the presents a little early, and I have agreed, seeing as I’m such a good person,” I announce smugly, although it doesn’t really effect me in a negative way.

“Of course you are…” Everyone, excluding myself, says in unison whilst rolling their eyes, not in a horrid or preposterous way, but in an amusing and funny way.

“Well for one, I think I am.”

All the presents have been opened, and to say the least, I’m a teensy bit disappointed, the most I got is Thornton’s chocolate and a few typical impersonal gifts like shower gel.

I think my children sense the difference in my usually cheerful demeanour, as they gave each other quick glances and quick tilts of their heads towards the door.

“Well, mum. There is no need to fret, we have another present coming, and it’s a little late but-

Ring!

Jack smirks as he gets up from his seat on the couch to answer the door. After a few seconds, in came Jack with a colossal present wrapped in my favourite colour wrapping paper. Behind the gift is the mailman, who seems to be struggling with pushing it. I only watch as they place the gigantic thing near my feet.

"This is for you, mum.”

“I swear if this is a washing machine…” I threaten jokingly. Elena and Nate gesture for me to carry on with opening the prize gift. I let my hands finger the packaging for a moment, what could be so amazing that everyone had to be so secretive about it. I begin to remove the elegant wrapping, revealing an ordinary brown box.

“Originally, I and Jack were going to get you an album,” Emilie began, but then Jack took over.

“But then we talked to Uncle Nate, and together we all found the root of your problems, mainly your love life - but that’s not the important part.”

I open the box’s flaps, and I jump back, covering my mouth as an instinct. Instantly tears began to trickle down like a heavy rainfall at the sight before me. A dashingly handsome man shoots out of the box with the most beautiful eyes that bear into my soul. Almost immediately I recognise who it is.

“S-Sam?” His name seems so foreign on my tongue, but I missed it - way too much.

“Hey, baby. Don’t cry; you’re making me cry.” He hushes me as he steps out of the box, wrapping his muscular arms around me.

“H-how?” I mutter, still assuming that this is a delusion.

“I was doing some research, and I found out that someone broke a Mr Drake out of a prison; our father. You’re not a widow, mum, you’re still a wife.” Jack answers as he holds a camera, obviously wanting to catch the moment. My eyes travel back to Sam’s eyes, which are leaking hot tears, I wipe them away with my sleeve, whilst he does the same to me. It seems that Sam and I have been lingering for too long because Emilie began to chant “Kiss!” over and over, the others all joining in again. I decide to make the move as my plump lips crash into his own; the kiss is a mixture of a lot of things, passion, desire, hunger, and longing, But, it is mostly filled with love, and we fit together like two jigsaw pieces. We retract our lips to regain the oxygen our lungs deprive, but before we could go back into the kiss…

Ding!

“Looks like dinner’s ready!” Emilie announces as she bounces off towards the kitchen.

“Seems like you will be here for dinner.” I giggle as Sam places a stray hair behind my ear.

“Seems like it.” Sam chuckles, before gaining a serious expression. “I still love you, Y/N.”

“I still love you,” I whisper, a loving smile tugging on my lips. I hope now that Sam is back, we’ll be able to live as that happy family that everyone is envious of, and even though Sam wasn’t there for 15 years of his children’s lives; he connects to them like no one else ever has…  "Always will…“

A/N: Ahh, so much feels. I really enjoyed writing this one, and I hope you really enjoyed reading it. If you have any requests for future imagines, don’t hesitate to tell me. I’m willing to attempt writing anything. Whatever your dirty or innocent minds desire, I’ll support!

-C

#sam drake x reader #samuel drake #sam drake #uncharted 4 x reader #uncharted #uncharted 4 #elena fisher #nathan drake #twins #reader #reader insert