#i genuinely think this is the most insane thing i have ever written so thanks for that i guess

[kimbapisnotsushi]

you seem to have a good read on HQ and your takes are great, so i have a question...and if you'd rather not go there, please ignore this! but i see oikawa get called "arrogant" quite often and i'm curious, would you say he is? what is it that makes people think that? imo he has a plenty of flaws, but i truly don't think arrogance is one of them. self-centered, sure, but not arrogant i think. i'm open to being wrong, i'm just legit so confused by that particular criticism, it makes me doubting my reading comprehension. i feel like that one post that's like "free my man, he didn't do that. he did a lot of other stuff tho" LOL. if you do answer this, then thanks for your time!

oh, dear anon. this is a very very big question and i'm honored you think i am capable of providing an answer that does it justice!! i don't consider myself an oikawa expert by far, but i'll do my best because he's still very beloved to me, and i hope whatever i say helps!

(but also - maybe take what i say with a grain of salt LMAO)

anyways, to get the main point out of the way: i completely agree that oikawa isn't arrogant! i actually haven't seen any commentary about that myself (bless!!!), so i can't say for sure why some people might think that, but my guess is that they think his pridefulness = arrogance — they think that the confidence he has in himself and seijoh contributes nothing to their actual power and is utterly meaningless if they don't win, especially in the face of ushijima. which, like, come on. what kind of captain would he be if he wasn't confident in himself and his teammates? is he supposed to tell them that they're going to lose??? is he supposed to discourage their hard work and effort???

or maybe it's because oikawa acts like he's all that, but doesn't have anything to show for it. who does he think he is? what does he think his pride is worth? what right does he have to go around making grand declarations when he has nothing to his name?

(which isn't entirely true, either, but we'll get into that, promise.)

now, do i think that he can, occasionally, be flippant, shallow, and/or petty? yeah, sure. he's got one hell of a personality about it. even iwaizumi says as much. oikawa is great at being a little shit. it's one of my favorite things about him!

but is oikawa genuinely arrogant, or self-centered? well . . . i don't think so.

see, here's the thing about oikawa: he knows he's good, but he doesn't think he's good enough. i think it'd be easiest to really explain what that meant if we broke this down into two separate parts, so let's give it a go, shall we?

(buckle up, friends, because it's about to get LONG. also: TIMESKIP SPOILERS!! and there's a tldr at the start of the tags because. WOW.)

so, first things first: if people are calling oikawa arrogant, then i'm like 99% sure that they don't actually know what the word "arrogant" means.

"arrogant" is used to describe someone full of themselves. it's used to describe someone conceited and pompous. it's used to describe someone so assured of and invested in their self-importance that they don't care for other people, and if it seems like they do, then it's usually wildly off the mark and still serves to inflate their own egos.

oikawa has never once been like that. he's been pretty much the exact opposite, in fact.

and yeah, sure, by his third year of high school, he knows he's good at volleyball, and that's fine! it's perfectly all right to claim you're good at something if you have the skills/experience to back it up. confidence is healthy as long as it isn't in overabundance, and we actually see a lot of this throughout the series!

(not to mention that this was where ushijima fell short. he was overflowing with confidence. he did not believe, for even a single second, that hinata shouyou and his meager, scrappy little flock of crows could beat him.

but oikawa? he knew. he knew what it looked like to make something bloom.)

the key to oikawa's confidence that made him better was that he could pinpoint others' strengths and weaknesses just as well as he could with his own. and (bear with me, please, i might get kind of boring here bc it's nothing that hasn't been said in the manga before) i don't mean it in the way we see the coaches or more analytical players do, as observations to be taken advantage of by everyone else; i mean that in the sense of how vital it is to his position as a setter. that was always the biggest difference between oikawa and kageyama: no matter how much more raw talent kageyama had, no matter how much better oikawa believed him to be, kageyama, especially in the beginning, struggled to do what oikawa could with a team. kageyama struggled to bring out the best in each player. and it wasn't because he didn't know how -- oikawa freely admitted that kageyama had the skill for it, that kageyama, once he got his shit together, could win against him -- it was because kageyama didn't have that same confidence in himself.

(not until much later, anyways. but that's another story, for another time.)

so, oikawa's confident. he knows he's good. he can bring out the best in each player. he's got a killer serve (and a killer smile!), a mind for tactics that borders on machievallianism, and cherishes the trust he is given like it's something precious. his coaches let him lead without leaning on them. his team has the utmost respect and admiration for him. he has a reputation. from karasuno to shiratorizawa to the whole of miyagi -- there is not a single character who knows oikawa tooru and would believe that he is, in any way, bad at volleyball.

but it's not enough. despite all of that, oikawa still doesn't think he's good enough. and that, friends, brings us to the second point.

oikawa tooru is nothing if not passionate.

so were the others, of course. kageyama kept going after his grandfather's death. hinata kept going while being a nobody from nowhere with no one to back him up. atsumu kept going while osamu didn't. it's not even about just those who went pro -- kenma, kuroo, noya, and everyone else found things that they were passionate about and kept going with it. the entire story revolves around loving what you do and trying to keep that love alive, and, sometimes, that can be really, really difficult when it seems like it doesn't love you back.

oikawa was so insecure over kageyama to the point where he nearly decked the poor kid. oikawa got crushed by ushijima-- who kept telling him that his team was not good enough, that his choices were not good enough, that there was nothing good enough to be proud of -- for years in a row. oikawa was taught that there would always be someone better than him no matter how skilled he was, but if he let that stop him then he didn't fucking belong on the court in the first place.

oikawa tooru is intimately acquainted with not being good enough, but he keeps trying to be. he keeps going. he tries to keep the love alive even if he's not loved back. he pushes and practices and takes a plane far from home to become even better. even if he doesn't have the skill, even if he doesn't have the talent, even if he doesn't have the love -- he still has his pride. and what does that mean, in the end? how far does that take him?

in the end, oikawa tooru walks across a world stage and sees people who believed in him on the other side and calls it a family reunion. in the end, he gets to play the volleyball that reminds him of why he loves it and how it gives him so much love back. in the end, his pride is unyielding and unbreakable, a product of the forge. he molded it with his own two hands. he will not let it falter so easily.

arrogance would not have taken oikawa tooru this far. i hope this has proven that he is anything but.

remember: instinct is something you polish. talent is something you make bloom. and never, ever let anyone else tell you what your pride is worth.

#tldr: oikawa 's confident in himself but (believing that there will always be someone more talented) is always striving to become better #ANYWAYS #i know this one's a bit different from the itachiyama post where i analyzed each panel but like #that was REALLY hard to do for this one since there were so many good ones i could use!!! #so i ended up just smashing 2-3 panels together that i thought were best representative of each point i wanted to talk about #and then just diving deep into the whole thing #if i had done it the first way we would have been here FOREVER #literally that's why it took so long i kept deleting and rewriting and going 'holy shit how the fuck do i write this' #'how can ANYTHING i possibly say do justice to oikawa tooru' #i hope i did a good job and i hope this helped anon!!! #i genuinely think this is the most insane thing i have ever written so thanks for that i guess #oikawa tooru #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu meta #sou says stuff

[heavcnslyre]

chapter three — j.f. ( masterlist )

LOVER, YOU SHOULD’VE COME OVER.

“maybe i'm too young to keep good love from going wrong

but tonight, you're on my mind so, you’ll never know”

taglist: @jellybassett @glowingtree

(authors note PLEASE READ: you guys are the SWEETEST ever omg the amount of love i’ve gotten on this so far is insane. i appreciate, and reread over and over again, every single comment or reblog i get, it genuinely keeps me so motivated to write and i appreciate you guys so so much you have no idea. i haven’t written in forever so i excepted no one to like this fic but so far you guys have proven that to be not true and it brings me so much joy. i plan for this to be long!! idek how many parts i’m just gonna keep writing chapters until the story ends!! i cannot guarantee how often updates will be but i’ll write my ass off as much as i can for a while!! all the love in the world to you guys!!! enjoy!!)

you wake up the next morning with no messages from peter. this, usually wouldn’t be strange since he often slept in later than you, but he didn’t even reply to your message from last night at ten thirty. he never went to bed earlier than two in the morning. a gross, nervous feeling creeps up on you. you try to shake it off, thinking that maybe he just fell asleep early when he hadn’t heard from you. that’s what you would keep telling yourself.

downstairs in the kitchen, steven and jeremiah were sitting on stools at the counter, comparing their cereals. belly was at the table, studying the pancakes she was eating. susannah was cooking more pancakes at the stove. “morning (y/n)!” susannah greets you as you enter the room. jeremiah looks up at you and when you make eye contact, he gives you a forced smile and then looks back down at his cereal. he’d been acting weird since last night, when you told him about peter. it actually sort of made you feel bad, that you didn’t tell him sooner. he was clearly bothered by it or offended about you not telling him. the last thing you wanted to do was make things weird between the two of you, and that’s exactly what you did.

“morning susannah,” you smile at her. “can i have some pancakes?”

“absolutely you can!” she exclaims, flipping a pancake over onto a plate. “give me two minutes and they’ll be ready.”

“thanks susannah,” you say then walk over to sit with belly at the table. she smiles at you, her mouth full of pancakes.

“what are you doing today?” she asks you. you shrug.

“dunno. what were you thinking?”

“you should take me driving,” belly smiles cheekily. you laugh. she always asked to go driving ever since you got your license, but you didn’t mind. she had told you before that she trusted you the most to teach her how to drive without being too judgmental.

“sure, bells,” you say. “you can drive me into town to grab some stuff from the store.”

“bonfire tonight, (y/n),” steven turns to face you. “don’t forget.”

you nod. “would never.”

“can i go?” belly asks, looking between the two of you. steven looks at jeremiah then laughs.

“belly, that’s not really your scene,” steven says. “you’ve never gone before.”

“well i wanna go now,” she looks at you. “please?”

you look at steven, who shakes his head. you shrug. “i don’t know, belly. isn’t tonight usually your movie night?”

“it is,” susannah appears with a plate of pancakes for you. you thank her as she sets them down. “but we could always reschedule if belly wanted to go to a party with her siblings.”

“see?” belly says. “even susannah doesn’t think it’s a bad idea.”

“don’t get me too involved, now,” susannah tucks belly’s hair behind her ear. “i have no opinion on the matter except for i want you to do whatever makes you happiest.”

“i think you should come, belly,” jeremiah speaks up for the first time since you’ve gotten downstairs. everyone turns to look at him and he shrugs. he won’t look at you. “it would be fun if you were there.”

“it’s decided then,” belly says. “i’m going with!”

“better make sure it’s okay with mom first,” steven tells her, but she waves him off, finishing her pancakes and going to rinse off her plate.

“(y/n), i’ll be in the pool. come get me when you’re ready to go!”

“thirty minutes after eating before you can swim!” susannah calls out to her, but belly was already gone. susannah shakes her head, but there’s a smile on that face. “that girl.”

soon enough, you and belly are in the car, her driving you both into town. the music was blasting and the windows were down, hair whipping everywhere, but neither of you cared.

“what do you have to get from town?” belly asks.

“some hair stuff and i wanna go to that one boutique we found last year and see if they have anything cute,” you reply. she grins.

“i completely forgot about that place!”

“me too until i was packing for this trip and found my skirt i got from there last year,” you and belly had always looked around different shops in town, mainly window-shopping and judging the clothes that were sold in those shops. they were so extremely over priced and half of them looked like something your grandmother would wear. that was, until last summer, when you found the most gorgeous hot pink skirt on a sale rack at a new boutique. you could not stop thinking about it after you left, so the next day you and belly went back so that you could buy it. you wore that skirt constantly. the thing you remembered most about it was the way that jeremiah had looked at you the first time you had worn it. he made you feel so special just from one look, so that skirt became a staple piece in your wardrobe after that. when you started dating peter, you stopped wearing the skirt. it was such a small, meaningless idea that he looked at you special when you wore a random skirt, but it meant a lot to you at the same time. enough that it felt like betrayal to pack the skirt to bring to cousins, so you left it at home.

you and belly spend the afternoon at the shops, picking out outfits for each other to try and laughing at the ridiculousness you put each other through. as you’re getting ready to leave, before she starts the car, belly turns to you. “(y/n).”

“what’s up bells?”

“have you noticed anything…different, about conrad?” she sounds hesitant to ask you, and almost whispers his name. you sigh.

“sorta,” you say. “i was talking to jere last night and he told me that things were weird with him. he doesn’t know why, but it’s been months. he quit the football team.”

“what!?” belly exclaims. “no way. he loves football, i thought he was gonna play in college.”

you shrug. “so did everyone. he just changed things out of nowhere. jere said that he won’t ever say anything and pretends nothing is wrong, but he hasn’t really tried talking to him. you know how guys are with each other. talking about stuff like that does not come easy.”

belly nods, staring down at the steering wheel. you touch her arm gently. “hey, maybe you should talk to him.”

“me?”

“yeah bells. he’s happier around you, even if you don’t see it. maybe he’ll talk to you.”

she sighs. “i don’t know (y/n). he seems mad at me. like, every time we’ve talked, he is so different,” she glances over at you. “you know how i feel about him. i just…i hate the thought of losing him.”

“you won’t. i promise you, you won’t. he’ll open up. you sure as hell did not do anything wrong, it’s probably just something small he needs to work through. everything will work itself out.”

belly smiles at you gratefully. “thank you, (y/n). i think i would go crazy without you.”

“that is exactly what a big sister is for.”

she starts the car and begins to drive away. “so, another thing… do you think i should be a debutant?”

“a debutant?” you ask, shocked. “belly, when i was considering it last summer you seemed disgusted.”

“i know,” she sighs. “but susannah asked me to do it…and i know she was bummed when you didn’t do it last year so i just figured….” she trails off, but she didn’t have to finish. susannah had asked you last year to be a deb and you were going to do it, you really were. you even started looking for dresses and planning everything. that was, until jeremiah announced that he had no intention of ever being an escort to the deb ball. it had felt like such an indirect that it completely killed all of your interest in the ball. he was the only person you had even considered asking to be your escort, and he so openly hated the idea of being one, so you figured that was a sign that it wasn’t right for you. if you were honest, you always regretted it.

“you should do it,” you say after a while. “you’re right, it would make susannah happy. and i’m sure you’ll have no problem finding an escort. it’d be a lot of fun to watch.”

“you think so?”

“definitely.”

belly nods, but doesn’t say anything, focusing on the road. you do the same thing, staring forward. part of you still wondered if jeremiah would have been your escort if you had asked. the other part of you hates yourself for thinking that you would be the exception.

later that night, you’re standing and staring at your closet, trying to figure out what to wear to the bonfire. you brought a few dresses and skirts, but suddenly, you hated everything you owned. this bonfire was super fun every year and the best way to start out the summer, so you felt so much pressure to pick out something cute.

“hey,” jeremiah appears in your doorway, ready to go. “you about ready?”

“yeah,” you sigh. “just gotta figure out what to wear.”

“hm,” he thinks for a second, walking towards your closet. “you still have that pink skirt from last summer? that was good.”

you look down. “uh, left it at home.”

“oh,” he says, a hint of disappointment in his voice. then, he clears his throat and turns his back to you, facing your clothes. he looks for a second before grabbing a blue sundress and handing it to you. “here. this is perfect.”

you look at the dress and smile. it was one of your favorite dresses, simple and comfortable but super cute. of course jeremiah would pick out a sundress for you to wear. he always claimed that girls in sundresses were his weakness.

“okay. get out so i can change,” you push him out the door and he laughs as you do, allowing you to close the door in his face. you change quickly and find a pair of sandals to go with the dress, check your hair and makeup one last time, then you went downstairs to meet everyone else. conrad and belly were sitting on opposite sides of the couch, steven in the middle of them (which looked like it was awkward for all three of them), and jeremiah sat in the chair by the couch, staring at his phone. when steven sees you come down, he shoots up from his seat and claps his hands. “alright! let’s get going! jere’s driving, i call shotgun!”

you make eye contact with jeremiah who smiles at you after looking you up and down. you feel yourself blush at his gaze. he always did this to you. you felt so special just by him looking at you. it was stupid, honestly. that’s just how he was.

the five of you pile out of the house and into jeremiah’s car, you, conrad, and belly squished into the back while steven and jeremiah sat in the front seat of the car, singing their hearts out to taylor swifts ‘cruel summer.’ they were insane when it came to her music, but neither of them would ever admit it.

as soon as you arrive at the beach, steven jumps out of the car. he’s halfway to the fire by the time you even open your car door, and conrad and jeremiah are following close behind him, leaving you and belly to walk down on your own. you glance over at belly, who is staring at the group of people on the beach, a nervous look on her face. you throw your arm around her. “it’ll be okay bells. it’s actually fun here, promise. just…don’t talk to anyone weird. or too old. and if you get uncomfortable just come find me. we’ll figure it out.”

she smiles at you gratefully. “thank you, (y/n). i’ll be okay. you go have fun with your friends.”

you squeeze her shoulder gently as your friend nicole waves you over. “love you bells.”

“love you too.”

you hurry over to nicole and hug her tightly. “oh, nicole! it’s so good to see you!”

“it’s so good to see you too!” she exclaims. as you pull away from the hug, she offers you a beer and you take it. “how have you been?”

“so good,” you tell her. “the school year was great and i actually have a boyfriend back home!”

“ohhh!!” nicole squeals. “what’s his name? how long have you been together? tell me everything.”

you fill her in on all of the details of your relationship, with her squealing excitedly at the end of almost every sentence. as soon as you finish talking, you feel a hand on your shoulder, and turn to see your friend shayla. it was your turn to squeal in excitement as you hug her tightly, then nicole does the same.

“shayla! i didn’t know you were coming this early!” nicole exclaims. shayla shrugs.

“yeah, mum and dad decided we’d come now rather than later,” shayla replies. “deb season, you know? they want me to be prepared.”

“oh, don’t remind me,” nicole sighs. “i’m helping as a big sister this year. i don’t know if i’m ready to go through it again.”

shayla laughs. “cant be that bad! at least, that’s what i’m telling myself.”

“do you know who’s gonna escort you?” nicole asks. shayla glances at you quickly.

“well, it’s so early, i don’t know…”

nicole scoffs. “shayla, you are the most prepared and efficient person i know. i know you have someone in mind.”

“well,” shayla gives you an embarrassed smile. “i was kinda thinking i would try to get to know steven more. see if he would escort me.”

both of the girls look at you, waiting for your reaction. usually, you hated when girls had a crush on your brother. at school, girls who did would try to become friends with you to get closer to him, and it was tiring. but this was different. shayla was one of the most kind, incredible people you have ever met. you knew she had no ill intentions. also, steven could use a good influence like her in his life. “that sounds like a great idea, shayla.” you say sincerely. she breathes an obvious sigh of relief.

“i’m so glad you said that,” she says. “i would never wanna pursue something if it meant it would hurt our friendship. no man is worth that.”

you nod. “you’re so right.”

nicole’s eyes drift over your shoulder. “i’m, uh…i’ll be right back.”

without either of you replying, she walks away. you watch her as she walks directly to conrad, who had apparently been by himself in that moment. you and shayla look at each other and laugh.

“she is so down bad for him,” shayla says. you nod.

“painful to watch sometimes.”

shayla laughs again. “well, i’ll see you later too, (y/n). i’m gonna go talk to steven.” you grin at her.

“have fun!”

as soon as she walks away and you’re left on your own, your phone buzzes. you pull it out to see a text from peter. finally. it had only been all day since you’d heard from him.

peter: been busy today babe sorry for not replying

peter: at party rn it’s super fun!

peter: look at this video lol there was a tall ass diving board i jumped in fully clothed

peter: (attachment, one video)

you smile at his messages and click on the video he sent you. it took a moment to load, but once it did, you almost dropped your phone in shock. it wasn’t a video of him jumping off the diving board. it was a video of him making out with a random girl. you watch in pure shock, unable to move. as the video goes on, you realize it wasn’t a random girl. it was cassie, your best friend. you watch the video closely, hoping for any sign that this was some sort of a dare or big joke, but there was nothing. they were just heavily making out, his hands up her shirt and her hands in his hair, and someone just happened to be filming on peter’s phone.

peter: oh shit

you stare at your phone for a full minute after the video ended, unsure what to do next. then, looking at your other hand, you knew. you chugged the rest of your beer, found a cooler, and chugged another one. when you started your third one, you felt a hand on your shoulder. “hey.”

you turn around to see jeremiah standing there, smiling at you. “you having fun?” he asks. you nod, chugging almost half of the new beer in one sip.

“so much fun,” you finish off the third beer and go to grab another one, but jeremiah grabs your hand.

“wait, be careful,” he says. “how many have you had?”

“that was like, my first,” you lie, opening a new beer. “don’t worry, jere. i’ll be fine. just having some fun.”

he stares at you, a concerned look on his face. “(y/n), you never drink like this. what’s going on?”

“nothing!” you say cheerfully. “just trying to start the summer out right,” you look around and see a group of people dancing nearby. you take a sip of your beer and motion towards them. “i’m going to dance.”

“(y/n),” jeremiah calls, but you were already stumbling away from him, towards the people dancing. shayla and steven were in that group, shayla doing more dancing than steven was, but both of them looking like they were having fun nonetheless. shayla grins at you as you approach, grabbing your free hand and spinning you around. you giggle and dance with her for a while, finishing off your beer as you do. you were definitely drunk at this point, which wasn’t hard for you, since you were a lightweight. at things like this, you usually stopped at one beer or seltzer, so you definitely were not used to four. it was good, though. it made you forget about peter and cassie betraying you.

it made you forget until now.

if you were honest, it didn’t surprise you as much as you thought it would. cassie had been the one to introduce you to peter, and she always had a weird connection to him. you almost felt stupid for not seeing this coming sooner. most of all though, you were just angry. angry at peter for leading you on and cheating on you. angry at cassie for supposedly being your best friend and then doing this the second you’re not in town. angry at both of them for ruining the one good thing you had in a long time. as you walk towards the beer cooler again, jeremiah catches up to you and grabs your arm, holding you back. “okay, no. i’m cutting you off, (y/n).”

“let go of me,” you grumble quietly, trying to free yourself from his grip, but he was much stronger than you. he grabbed your other arm so you were forced to face him.

“(y/n), what’s going on with you?”

“nothing!” you yell at him, catching the attention of a few people around you, but you were too far gone to care. “nothings going on with me! i’m just trying to have a good time, okay?”

jeremiah smiles awkwardly at a few people around you, trying to divert the attention away from the two of you. “i know you, (y/n). why are you acting like this? you’re never like this.”

“so what?” you say. “so what if i am?”

a few girls call jeremiah’s name and attempt to wave him over to them, but he ignores them. “come on, we should get you home.”

“i don’t wanna go home,” you say hardly, looking him in the eyes. he looks genuinely concerned for you. somehow, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. “i wanna stay here.”

“(y/n)…” he’s cut off by the sound of police sirens and people yelling and scrambling around to pick up the beer cans and leave quickly. jeremiah swears under his breath and grabs your hand, pulling you away from the beach. “guess you have no choice.”

the two of you run towards his car, following everyone else who was running away from the scene. you look around frantically, but can’t find belly, conrad, or steven. “jere, wait, where’s everyone else?”

jeremiah shakes his head. “i’ll find them in a second. gotta get you to the car.”

“but belly, jere,” you say. “she’s probably scared shitless.”

he shakes his head again. “she found someone to hang out with. i’m sure she’s with him. i’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“but—“

“i’ll find her, (y/n).” he cuts you off. “just please get in the car first.” at this point, he sounds like he’s begging you. you look him in his eyes but have to look away quickly. the desperation in his expression was too painful to look at. you nod.

“okay.”

he squeezes your hand then opens the passenger door for you, allowing you to climb in. “i’ll be right back, okay? stay here.”

and with that, he’s running back towards the beach like he was superman. at that moment, it felt like he was, honestly. running back towards the cops in order to save everyone else. you weren’t sure that you knew many people who would do that. while you’re still alone in the car, you pull out your phone to finally reply to peter, who had texted you again, five times.

peter: (y/n) omg i’m so sorry

peter: wrong video but i swear it’s not what it looks like

peter: we’re both so drunk we were dared to do it and that’s why it was recorded

peter: please (y/n) please we didn’t mean it

peter: please believe me

you: fuck you

and with that, you block his number, and set your phone down. you wonder if you would have that much confidence if you were sober. you wonder if you would believe him if you were sober. it was a good thing that you weren’t, you figured. it was for the best. two months didn’t have to mean much, right? just a silly little mistake you made to date him that ended badly, but it didn’t matter, right? yeah your best friend betrayed you, but no worries, right?

suddenly, you realize that you are crying. sobbing, actually. uncontrollable sobs escape from your lips and you sit in the dark car, alone, sobbing your heart out. how was this fair? what did you do to deserve to lose your best friend and boyfriend all at once? the fact that if he hadn’t accidentally sent you that video then you never would have known made it worse. it made you wonder if this had been going on for a while, and he had just slipped up now. you could not stop crying.

even when the car doors opened and jeremiah slid into the seat next to you, you could not stop crying. he looks at you, shocked. “(y/n)?” he asks softly, unsure. the rest of the car is quiet, but you could feel everyone else’s presence in the backseat. you shake your head.

“i’m… i’m fine,” you say unconvincingly. “i’ll be, i’ll be okay.” you nod at jeremiah, who was staring at you with the same desperation on his face from before. he seems unconvinced, but starts the car, glancing at you again before he drives away. in the dark, he reaches over and grabs your hand, holding it tightly in his. you continue to cry silently for the rest of the ride home, squeezing his hand with both of yours.

#jeremiah fisher x reader #jeremiah fisher #tsitp jeremiah #jeremiah x reader #jeremiah fisher x you #jeremiah fisher x y/n #tsitp #tsitp steven #tsitp fanfic #tsitp cast #tsitp spoilers #tsitp belly #tsitpbookseries #tsitp conrad #conrad fisher #belly conklin #steven conklin #the summer i turned pretty #bria j.f updates

[pocketwei]

hii do you perhaps have any dofuwani fics recommendation. I've checked out the the ao3 but I really don't seem to like anything there after scrolling thru the most kudos'd works... I feel like you (and a few other artists) get them and I wanted to read things in a similar tone as your art and so far I'm in the trenches bleeding out. like obviously no offense to any of the writers it's just that all the like modern highschool loving dad croc and etc aus are not for me... OTL I hope I'm not sounding rude and thank you for your time!

oh anon come rest your head upon my bosom.... I got you anon..... as a fellow slave to canon-compliance I, too, know the pain of sifting through pages upon pages of AUs, not that there's anything wrong with them but I just can't imagine these sickos working a 9 to 5 in a suit...... thank you for thinking my vision of dofuwani is trust-worthy, this is vain on my part but it genuinely means a lot <3 OK rant over here are the goods, in no particular order (always mind the tags but I figure if you asked me for dfwn sacred texts you're probably a fellow sicko):

that was now and this is then. by ghostwit (M): one of my favourite ever, perhaps even my favourite. About a long relationship, about twisting each other inside the skin, about being formative to each other in ways so deep and intertwined that they can't seem to tear one apart from the other. And despite it all* (*the murders and the hatred and the irreconciliable flaws and differences of their Ego (philosophical) and the unbearable, unacceptable vulnerability of understanding), they are, somehow, unforgivably and incomprehensibly, in love. *smashes head against pavement, it cracks open like an egg, spilling millions of dofuwani thoughts everywhere

no better irony by ghostwit (E): shichibukai meeting sidequest...... excellent characterisation like everything Haze writes (it's just The Best dofuwani there is..... read everything he wrote please). I'm so fond of them in that fic in a way that's like. watching stick bugs in a terrarium. You don't understand them and they don't understand you but you're just happy they're having fun. You wouldn't join in for anything in the world though.

like i need a gaping headwound by ghostwit (M): loguetown era dfwn, Haze back at it with formative years and the fresh sprouts of insanity in these two. So so so good.

nothing in this world that's quite prescribable by ghostwit (T): the opening of this fic is perhaps one of my favourite scenes ever. Vulnerability and odd transparence that only drunken disinhibition allows. Which is rare for these two. Absolutely adore this one.

honestly you can and should read everything Haze has written for these two they're just so AUGHHHHHH

black & bloody & rotten & perfect by revolvermonkcelot (M): perfect capture of the fine line between (????love, perhaps) and insanity they walk on. Absolutely fucking insane about this one, the reverence and sacrality of their whole thing, the Indulgence:tm: and permission that can be revoked (for Crocodile is mercurial in his vulnerability), but that is somehow maintained in a delicate and incomprehensible equilibrium. + absolutely incredible undertones of wani (trans)identity crisis, the imperceptible yet meaningful and constant change of the Form... Head in hands

Just a taste by marimoes (M): perfect perfect perfect characterisation, little gestures that betray familiarity. Perfect on all accounts

Swallow by revolvermonkcelot (M): my roman empire. Absolutely perfect Wani characterisation, it's The Wani for me. Exploits perfectly the essential dfwn dichotomy of "one entity tumbling down and the other rising up, meeting halfway through in the eye of the storm, in a singular moment". Classy cannibalism that ties to the no-less essential concept of consumption, to be/become whole again. The reason why they somehow stick together is because of this primordial longing for something, for understanding perhaps, for beauty sometimes, for belonging. Fcuking hell I love them so mucj

A Bird and His Cage by doctornemesis (E): read this one a long time ago but it's in my bookmarks so I trust past me's judgment and tell you it's amazing

From Dressrosa with Love by Sibilans (E, on-going): incredible atmosphere, perfectly depicts the post-golden age rotting glamour of Dressrosa. They are particularly unhinged in this one.

i wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name by stealth-black-leg (Kiir_Bee) (E): I'm running out of steam for long meaningful comments but this one has top tier characterisation.

That's it!! Don't forget to comment and leave kudos to give writers the love they deserve <3

#mei speaks #fics recs #these are so so good #pspsps dofuwani enjoyers come get ur food.....

[harlequinoccult]

This might be a total coincidence but are you prince lapin? Your icon is familiar from other IF discords. what are your favourite ifs??

ah shit lads ive been found out Yeah, thats me !! the hyperfixation got so strong i needed to write my own

SPEAKING OF. you have opened pandoras box. god have mercy on you. Woe, Interactive Novels be upon ye.

CHOP SHOP by @losergames i fucking love crime. And they way everything is written? mwah. byootiful. like im watching a fucking movie.

WOLF SET FREE by @wolfsetfree-if WULFEBOUND by @wulfebound WEREWOLF NOIR by @canismaxim-games BLOOD MOON by @barbwritesstuff

I AM SO GAY ABOUT WEREWOLF SHIT YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

THE EXILE by @exilethegame I was (and am) hyperfixated on this singular game for a very very long time and my commander is the poorest little meow meow that i love repeatedly throwing against a wall and into a meatgrinder 💖

FIELDS OF ASPHODEL by @chrysanthemumgames I am so deeply unwell over Hades. but also i never noticed the simiarities that persephone and dionysus have and it makes me go insane to think about.

THE NAMELESS by @parkerlyn not only is my own bastard cat thing on an mc the most fun to draw, but it has reawakened my feralty over fae settings and fae creatures. also parker is just like. one of the sweetest people ever created??? illegal. how are they so nice.

THE NORTHERN PASSAGE by @northern-passage not only am i deeply unwell about Lea, but i adore deeply inhuman mcs <- (the transgenderism speaking). I also just like. respect the hell out of kit fr. takes absolutely no bullshit. absolute inspiration.

GREENWARDEN by @fiddles-ifs Bautista. I am unwell. do i have a type? perhaps. shut the fuck up about it. mc is deeply neurotic and a freak (complementary) (affectionate)(relatable)

SPEAKER by @speakergame one of the BEST writers of sibling interaction, hands down. one of the first twine IFs i have ever played and god it is so fuck quality. my god.

EVERYTHING BY @heart-forge oh my god. oooohhhh my fucking god. where do i begin. all of their projects are so fucking good and distinct. i can tell you i am unwell about trigger siruud and valerian and you could probably diagnose me with something but i dont care. i am going to fucking explode their shit is so quality.

EVERYTHING BY @pdrrook how do they do it. no seriously how the fuck do they do it. magic? are they fae? did they sell their soul to the devil? banger project after banger project after banger project. ALL of their shit is quality AND THEY DO NOT MISS. EVER.

THE GRAND HEIST by @thegrandheist-if BRO I FUCKING LOVE CRIME. LOVE BEING A BASTARD.

EVERYTHING BY @jaunefleurwrites fun highschool detectives!!! :) AND THEN MY FUCKING HEART GETS SHATTERED.

LEGEND OF A SAVIOR by @legend-of-a-savior-if THE DRAMA.....THE INTRIGUE......i loved fucked up cults. I loved fucked up shit. I hate my mom. thank u.

EVERYTHING BY @leftski-if bro......the softness of orcs......leftski gets it. everyday i thank them for my FUCKING life. (wolfsbane has werewolf shit, and as you know i am. Gay. About. It.)

VIRTUE'S END by @virtues-end you already fucking know who the fuck i am unwell about if you read the rest of this god damn list. dont fucking @ me. (barghest best helvling)

VENDETTA by @vendetta-if ok hear me out guys. have i mentioned the i love crime. that i love being a nasty crime boy? well jokes on you fucker im a vigilante.

THE KING'S HOUND by @the-kingshound Mordred is my fucking son and if anything happens to him i will kill everyone in this room and then myself.

BASTARD OF CAMELOT by @llamagirl28 the drama.....the fucking drama......my mordred, a literal ten year old has their shit together better than his fucking parents. this is my fucking soap opera. i have my fucking popcorn at the ready.

THE BALLAD OF DEVILS CREEK by @devilscreekballad Okay no jokes, i absolutely and genuinely hope the author of this IF gets to be in a better spot financially and health wise. This IF is so fucking phenomenal and the dedication to the time period without shirking away from sensitive topics is honestly insane. i absolutely wish them the best. 🌻

And finally, what might be the first twine if i ever played-

SCOUT by @anya-dev im crying. im scratching at the floorboards. im crawling on the walls. im barking in a cage. scout is such a fucking interesting post apoc story. the reason is unclear but at the time of the story it doesnt particularly matter. but at the same time it does so much. i want to know SO MUCH. Oliver was the fucking blueprint for my god damn brainrot.

#there are so SO many interactive fiction games that i adore that i could go on and on about but this list is already way too fucking long #i adore the if community so much and so many authors are absolute inspirations #and i sincerely hope that each and every author i follow finds great success with their works because it is so fucking phenomenal #anyway i am gushing too much and its embarrassing goodbye #princepostin #if recs

[moonlightdancer26]

I just discovered your blog and let me tell you : You're a breath of fresh air. I needed a break from the madness of the marauders stans. I hate how they stripped Snape of all his layers, all his complexity, and either gave it to Regulus or erase it. They reduced him to a one-dimensional bully. But the worst, is when they say that James and co. did nothing wrong, that they were just funny pranksters, that it was a RiValRY ( because 4 or 2 against 1 is clearly fair ). As someone who has been bullied as a child, that chapter made me want to vomit. How can anyone excuse that bs ?

Just to be clear, I will not excuse Snape's mistakes. He did fuck up many times, no excuses. But I truly believe that if he had a HEALTHY support system, and if there was therapy in the wizarding world, he would've never become a death eater. That guy joined Voldemort because he thought he had no choice, he pretended to be racist because he wanted to fit in. How can anyone be blind to that? And that's coming from someone who's had a crush on Sirius Black ( the adult one, the younger one can die ) before they turned him into a woke sissy.

That’s one of the biggest compliments I could ever receive, thank you so much 🥰

I completely agree, I don’t really have much of a problem if they think Severus is a bad person (he certainly was morally grey, so it isn’t that big of a reach), but there’s a difference between thinking a character is a bad person and stripping them of all their complexity and painting them to be a villain with zero redeeming qualities. Over the years, Severus has become a symbol of grey characters, and he is genuinely one of the most brilliantly-written characters I’ve ever seen or read. It’s so unfair of them to strip all that away and disregard his whole arc.

And the fact that they do all that while pretending like the most irrelevant characters ever (James and Reginald Regulus) had his best traits and were more canonically interesting than he is and then acting superior to Snape fans is insanely ridiculous. They do it with so much confidence too 💀 as if we were the ones who had to give the Character We Hate Whose Character We’ve Purposefully Simplified’s best traits to our non-existent faves.

As someone who has been bullied as a child, that chapter made me want to vomit. How can anyone excuse that bs ?

Ikr?? I read OoTP a few years before the same thing happened to me. And honestly, when I was a kid, every time I reread SWM after it happened I would get panic attacks. (It usually doesn’t happen now, but I still get filled with hatred whenever I read James physically immobilising and stripping Severus.)

I will not excuse Snape's mistakes. He did fuck up many times, no excuses. But I truly believe that if he had a HEALTHY support system, and if there was therapy in the wizarding world, he would've never become a death eater.

Absolutely. His trauma was left unattended and he was a 18/19 year old who was recruited by a charismatic man who promised his young followers power and respect. So many of the DEs we see in Harry’s time were recruited in their late teens/early twenties, and I think it really says a lot. Those are actual methods used in real life cults in order to groom, manipulate, and sometimes even emotionally blackmail people into joining. Severus was clearly a victim, and even if he had the worst intentions when joining, he eventually defected (and by eventually I mean literally less than two years) and fought for the light side 10 times longer than the amount he followed Voldy for, and he was vital to his demise. That more than makes up for it, and seeing people saying shit like “you’re not a hero for cleaning up milk you spilt” makes it clear that his haters have zero reading comprehension or critical thinking skills.

And that's coming from someone who's had a crush on Sirius Black ( the adult one, the younger one can die ) before they turned him into a woke sissy.

lol I’m still obsessed with both the adult and younger one

#you can still dislike him and acknowledge that he’s complex 💀 it ain’t hard to admit that not ALL the characters you hate are irredeemable #anti snaters #anti james potter #pro severus snape #pro snape #severus snape #anti marauderfen #anti marauders stans #anti marauder stans #anti marauders stan #harry potter #snape #hp #ask #asks

[binch-i-might-be]

and screaming crying throwing up at jack's reaction

hes so fucking sweet about it. he just accepts it. makes me sob every single fucking time. like. yeah maybe he doesn't understand it completely but he loves alex!

and then the question about the swimming hole, thats just such a fucking sibling thing to do. hysterical. so glad to know that siblings will always be little shits to each other, as seen AGAIN when jsck refuses to be out written by alex when he's working.

AND THEN THEY DRINK TO ALEX AND JOHNS UNION. THAT KILLS ME EVERY SINGLE FUCKIGN TIME LIKE. YEAH. JACK IS ACCEPTING AND CELEBRATING AND HES ONE OF LIKE THE 5 PEOPLE WHO EVEN KNOWS THEYRE IN A RELATIONSHP LET ALONE MARRIED AND ITS THE FIRST TIME ITS BEEN CELEBRATED. god i need a minite im going to sob

and then jack watches them kiss and its just people showing affection and he didnt knoe ehat he expected but its just Normal. and ughfhfhfhdhdjejd.

and then the heart breaking ness of the oh "youve told him all he needs to know" "most of it" "most of it" like kill me. i just cant. then john and alex, theyre all cuddly and cute and jack is hit with how theyre so familair and how theyve done it so much before and just gujfhfdjsjjdjsks

this series genuinely makes me ILL its so djfjdjwjdjjfjw. i cant wait to read the latest extra you published – i havent had time to get around to it yet but gjfjdjsj i have no doubt its going ti be amazing and so good i need to take breaks from reading it bc otherwise im just going to keel over because of how good the writing is.

anyway. thats my little thin ice rant for the day. your writing makes me batshit insane <3 - 🐥

YEAH. YEAH

I just. wanted someone to be nice to the boys. I like to think of Jack as an overall pretty chill guy so that reaction just kinda made sense to me (also he really can't afford to alienate the one (1) sibling he has left oop)

THANK you I was so fucking proud of that snippet lmao. older brothers will be bastards in every era <3

they do!!!!! they deserve it :(( no one has ever celebrated with them. someone just needs to be happy for these boys. please my crops are dying

that whole chapter is honestly one of my favourite things I've written for the series. showing the boys' relationship from an outsider's perspective was SO fun. Jack being so new to this but so supportive. trying to make his little brother feel at ease despite not fully understanding his relationship. the little pinch of angst because I can never let these boys rest. also. drunk Alex my sweet sweet baby boy <3333

well the latest addition is just porn so! thank you tho 🥺🥺 I love your thin ice rants <33

#love youuuu 💕💕 #you are watering my crops so much anon #thin ice 'verse #ask #🐥 anon

[nicosraf]

*a&m spoilers!

i just finished reading a&m and i am in shambles, so thank you (genuinely)! i was expecting to be hurt by the fate of some of these characters, but i was also admittedly excited for the inevitable toxicity and hatred/anger being shared particularly between Michael and Lucifer, and you delivered so much more than I would have expected. I want to apologize if this ‘ask’ turns into me just yapping away - your work has impacted me so greatly (,:

Not sure if this has been mentioned by another reader yet, but i read this line, said by Lucifer to Michael, “be blessed that you will never know why” (pg 406) and found that it sounded familiar, and I realized that this exact sentence was also mentioned to be said by God to Lucifer at the end of chapter 1. Lucifer imitating/wanting to be like God was hammered in so subtly here, and including this line on opposite ends of the book added so much to this theme

CHAPTER 37!!! I lost it - I knew that something like this was bound to happen but the way that you did it brought me so much joy. I must admit that I adore Lucifer and Michael’s dynamic now (although I of course also adored the past dynamic as well). It’s complicated, genuinely toxic and written so painfully well ;; Lucifer’s incessant insults and degrading, Michael craving violence and choking him, biting him and digging his fingers into the wounds he caused, i was in disbelief. (And Michael having that thought as he brushed past Baal oh my god i felt the ground shake)

And even then, despite them hurting each other, Michael listens when Lucifer tells him about the table because he knows that there is something genuine in the way he says it. It was bittersweet, to see a very brief moment of care (and a fraction of what remains of their past selves in heaven) in between this performance of violence and hatred

I appreciate just how much love you put into your characters, particularly Lucifer. I’m genuinely a fan, I’ve been mystified and trapped if it wasn’t already painfully obvious. I love how much emphasis you put on his excessive jewelry and the sort of clothes he wears, it really set the mood for him as a character and it tied in so well with his body language. I was super super impressed with how you were able to paint a picture of his demeanor now that he has become satan, especially in the heart-eating scene. You made it so easy to imagine every one of his little actions in all their unrelenting cruelty and it was definitely one of my favorite scenes in the book. Lucifer eating a raw, human heart straight from a man’s chest while staring into Michael’s eyes was one of the gayest things I’ve ever read

I have so many more things I wish to say but i will end my yapping here for now lol, thank you for writing these characters I’ve come to adore! <3

Thank you so much for reading!! It means a lot to me and I'm really glad you enjoyed!! :) please do not apologize for yapping... Im the angel of yapping

Lucifer imitating/wanting to be like God.... I'm glad you noticed that little recurring line! Lucifer is very much acting like his own version of God in A&M, mimicking him to some extent... and the narrative treats Lucifer like a new God in this book too! (in ABM, God is distant, seemingly all-knowing, and his plans/thoughts are unknown to the reader. And in A&M... agh.,.,. Lucifer..... the way the narrative treats Lucifer... all of Lucifer's actions in this book... I'm really crazy about it, Im afraid)

And Chapter 37 skskssk I'm glad you like their dynamic! Michael and Lucifer are fascinating to me because of the insane development of their relationship. I love them when they're innocent love birds and I love them when they hate each other; I love the turmoil of going from one end to another. Lord, they are so toxic. There are so many relationships here that are unhealthy (I would say most of them), but Moocifer is definitely near the top of the list of Messiest. Michael's fingers in the wounds... Michael thinking that at the end.... What's wrong with him. Whats wrong with the both of them (there's so so much)

Michael moving off that table when Lucifer asked... the brief moment of care... i can't think about it too much right now without going insane but... lord

i love my characters very much, so im glad that you like them!! and i put a lot of thought and love into Lucifer... It warms my heart a lot that you find him fun! <333

thank u again for reading!!! have a great day :)

#mine #ask

[folklauerate]

2023 Fic Year in Review

Thanks to @a-regular-jo for tagging me!

List of fics completed

take my hand, wreck my plans, that’s my man series

The Yellow Tulips of Texas

an affair, three ways series

inosculation

cause I’m a mastermind (the west wing au)

in our perfect park

leave the light on

Santa Kate series

fuck it, it’s fine series

I’m on Fire

Modern Omega

Number of words written

502,159 😳

Your most popular fic

The Set Up by a laughably large margin. Although as I checked stats now to answer this question, I see that Bridgerton, Actually (my Love, Actually AU) is now second and it wasn’t before, quite recently actually! It seems it got a lot of holiday readership :)

Your personal fav

This is like asking me to pick a fav child! It’s difficult but I’d have to go with the professor au (take my hand, wreck my plans, that’s my man series). It came at a time where I was feeling uninspired and sort of adrift fandom-wise. Following the completion of Bridgerton, Actually, which was a behemoth and draining to write (though I loved it!), I was in the midst of taking some downtime to just… be. To consume without worrying about creating and to just reconsider. During that time, I read plenty of other things, including fic from other fandoms. I noticed tropes and things I simply hadn’t been exposed to ever/in a while, and found myself really drawn to the idea of an age gap with Kathony. Their fics feature them being near/the same age so often, in an effort to illustrate just how well matched they are. I wanted to do a sort of character study and love story when they had a significant age gap. I wanted to explore the ways Anthony might have been different if he was older, the fears of dying young (perhaps) abated but with no Kate to spur them forward. The Anthony I created in this AU was someone who had lived a bit of a life, hadn’t settled for a marriage for the sake of it, and had grown up and developed his own tastes in between teaching lectures and devoting himself to his family. I feel as though it can be popular to show Anthony devoid of taste or personality in terms of home decor or outside pursuits pre-Kate, and that simply wasn’t an option with him here. I really enjoyed developing this man with cultivated and exacting tastes. I’m getting rambly here so I’ll stop, because I could talk about this oneshot for a while. The point being—this oneshot marked a time of sort of creative freedom for me. When I started writing it, it felt nearly insane. I just wrote and wrote with no real reader expectation because I was writing a daddy kink in a fandom that really didn’t seem to have one. I was writing and entirely possessed by the story and characters and premise itself. I wrote that and nothing else for a while. I wrote it across continents and flights and subways and in my room, alone. I would text Kara about it nonstop and I’d post excerpts and just wrote it and didn’t think about it… and then it came time to post. I genuinely didn’t know how it would be received. And I need to add that it is far from the most popular Kathony fic ever, and it’s not even my most popular Kathony fic ever, but the response was nonetheless astounding. I genuinely couldn’t have expected the way it would be received and I’m so grateful for anyone who spent time with those words and maybe found themselves inspired to push boundaries in their own fic and writing.

Your fav scene

I genuinely can’t pick one. I think I’ve written too much hahaha. I’ll state a few that come to mind now;

In the Texas!Anthony AU I loved writing Anthony meeting Kate’s extended family. I loved giving her an extended family, filled with doting grandparents, noisy cousins, and all the fun hallmarks of Indian American kid life.

The papercut scene in the Prof AU.

Nearly the entirety of the spanking oneshot follow-up to the prof au

And also the Lover inspired fic in the prof au lol

I loved the Balmoral chapter of The Set Up, especially the beginning vignette of three; Charlie/Harry, Hugo/Willie, Kate/ghosts/legacy/history. The moment she lights incense and says a prayer in this really storied, old, English castle is unbelievably significant, I think, in ways that will come to play in the fic now.

So much of the roommates fic is a real love letter to NYC. I did a reread recently and was almost surprised by it myself? I think I’ve had enough time away to be surprised by it and I was. I know those places, I feel those places. I hope the sense of self comes across as significantly for the reader as it does to me.

Writing the aftermath of the shooting scene in The West Wing AU and Kate winning the election as well were really poignant. I cried writing them and I cry rereading them. They’re almost a brilliantly rebellious ode to hope in the face of the perceived hopelessness of US politics. Regardless of whether or not a president like Kate Sharma plausible, I center my politics and general life philosophies around hope. That fic felt like hope and belief in a better world.

A fic or scene that challenged you

Plenty! The Balmoral chapter challenged me a lot until I saw Angels in America and something clicked. I actually can’t think of more right now in a really specific way but I will say anytime I felt challenged I either ignored it or wrote through it. Writing through it was always the answer and right way to tackle it.

A line of writing you’re proud of

There’s definitely a lot I’m a proud of but I am currently traveling and CBA to trawl through over 500k words to find the line I’m proud of. There’s a LOT of prose I’m really proud of though. The recent chapter of Babel where I describe Simon’s party is some of my best work, I think. Sweet Like Honey (stepfather au) has some prose I’m exceptionally proud of. As does the Obsession AU. Some descriptions of Texas in the Texas!Anthony AU are gorgeous. If you can think of anything that stood out to you, let me know.

A comment that touched you

I genuinely treasure every single comment I’ve received and I’m currently working through responding to many (if you get a months late response,,, I’m sorry). I will take this time to impress upon anyone who might be reading that leaving comments can be so encouraging and I do love hearing from readers. Fic really does feel like I’m writing directly for you guys. And so it’s great to get feedback or excited squealing because it makes it less lonely and helps me feel like I’m a part of it with you guys. I love when friends comment, I love when people who I only know through excited screeching on ao3 comment, I really love it all.

Recently, a longtime reader left a comment on my recent update of The Set Up just to thank me for writing this year and it was so moving and so lovely I teared up. It was unbelievably kind and thoughtful. That really snuck in at the end of the year for one that just took the cake for me.

Something that inspired your writing

Everything. Angels in America. Echoing Jo by saying Prince Harry’s memoir Spare. A lot of Haladriel and Darklina works and writers. Bruce Springsteen. Lysistrata. Babel by R.F. Kuang. Little Rabbit by Alyssa Songsiridej. Babylon the film. Singing in the Rain. The West Wing lol. Dachshunds (English cream) and Greyhounds. The British royals. Kafka. Religious trauma. Guts by Olivia Rodrigo (specifically bad idea, right?). Wet Dream and Chaise Lounge by Wet Leg. The people who broke my heart and the people who helped me stitch it back up. My fellow writers and friends, always.

Your proudest accomplishment

Getting over a bad depressive episode and writing slump and purposefully refocusing my attentions to: myself, why I felt compelled to write, and the people who did love me and read my writing and made that clear, as opposed to the people who didn’t.

Do you have any writing goals for next year?

To finish The Set Up. To finish some Perfect Park drabbles and revisit the west wing au for some good election year distraction. And, maybe, to take a little break as I work on original things. I am not leaving, don’t worry. I have set some professional and personal goals for myself that require more of my emotional and intellectual time/space/energy and I need to refocus some efforts there. But I’m not done and I will be back. I’m tentatively planning something quite exciting fic-wise. If it comes to fruition, I’ll tell you all in time.

Tagging @grantairesbottle @amalinwrites who is never on tumblr but I’ll annoy her to do it, @bad-surprise @inkbugfic @ladykettlechips and Rama whose tumblr @ I always forget to do this lol

#fanfic year in review #Bridgerton fanfic

[thermodynamic-comedian]

hello hello, this is your excuse to ramble about your blorbos! give me your top 10 favourite tma characters 👀

YESS THANK YOUU :3

10. melanie king. she's insane as a character i looove characters defined by their hatred and anger, but even more by what's left of them when that's taken away....wow. huge stuff.

9. hmmm annabel cane. she's so cool,,, her canonical vintage style,,, i think about it a lot,,,,

8. tim stoker. his arc was so interesting tbh, how he stayed the same but changed so much.

7. adelard dekker, god why does nobody talk about adelard dekker. i wish we knew more about him. i wish we knew everything there was to know about him

6. daisy tonner, i looove dog-coded characters, i love the hunt in all of its hypocritical projection glory.

5. jonah magnus. so many thoughts. so so many thoughts. corporate-shaped false prophet angelthing. i wanna torture him and examine his reactions

4. mike crew, my favourite she/they tranfem, the only tma character i have ever related to. sigh. rip queen you would've loved the eyepocalypse

3. helen distortion, literally my babygirl, horrible little meow meow, also helanie should be so much more popular than it is

2. gertrude robinson, holy fucking shit gertrude robinson. perhaps the character ever written. the way that she was. the things that she did. just. oh my god.

1. simon fairchild. just. the most fun i've ever had listening to this podcast. i got genuinely sad when it was implied he died, and that's saying something, because i almost never get sad about tma deaths.

#tma #the magnus archives #tma spoilers

[seeingivy]

bsfs older brother sukuna asks!!!

there were so many I had to put them all in one 😭 thank you for all the love guys u give me the giggles

PLEASE. i'm so sorry i caused a panic w/ my ao3. to be honest, i just put a random number when i made the fic - rest assured there's still a handful of chapter to come!

PLEASE. WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY. y/n also makes sukuna a spooky basket for halloween

wait....wait this is literally the most insane thing ever 😭 DELICATELY WRITTEN IS LITERALLY SUCH A SWEET THING TO SAY THANK YOU SO MUCH.

and honestly i'm so glad the characters feel relatable!!! im glad it comes off as something that's real enough to be relatable and comforting!!! and girls with complicated relationships with their sisters rise with that sammy chapter bc.....

sukuna backstory with his dad...oh im sick to my stomach!

the trajectory of this fic gives me the giggles. i did a poll of what i should write next and randomly threw sukuna in there for kicks and....here we are like thirteen chapters later? and i'm literally planning another sukuna fic? he is dangerous

they will stay as cute as they are! I refuse to break them up now like that's illegal

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE TIME TO SAP ❤️ LOVE U SO SO BAD

reading about y/n losing her virginity at easter family lunch....as you should

THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT....ME AND MY OOC SUKUNA AGAINST THE WORLD!!!!!!! you're so not pushy and i'm so so glad that you're enjoying what i write and feeling all the feels with me

i hope you had a great easter!

@pickuptruck01 ....sure did

like i've been thinking about it for the past few days w/ songs/tweets/etc the way i write method acting. like genuinely its kind of a silly fic but they're both in a pr relationship but they also have 0 media training and are blunt....like he's rude she is ALSO rude and they're like both trying to annoy each other while fake dating but they also like each other hehe

link

THIS IS SO FUNNY STOP IT. he would buy it for her and then refuse to let her hold it because he thinks she will burn their apartment down

wait this is SOOOOO TRUE. in general, i love that song so much but the prechorus is actually so them its crazy

AND THANK US O MUCH!!!! HE LIVES IN MY HEAD RENT FREE TOO WE ARE ALL THE SAME

this is not a bsfs older brother sukuna ask but I included it....wasn't planning on a roommate sukuna but I am thinking about wriitng it as a one shot bc that chatper of roommates is like one of the most popular things ive ever written on my entire blog LOL

#asks! #bsfs older brother sukuna!

[elmhat]

20 Questions For Writers

Thanks @bleue-flora & @midnight-fangirl01 for the tags!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

16 published so far! Although 2 of those are incomplete and it annoys me endlessly. I'm working on it.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

105k… That's definitely not a lot compared to some people, but for me that's insane. The most I've ever written in my life and it's all for fucking minecraft rp.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

DSMP! And nothing else! I'm a one-trick pony.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

hallow the foul - Yeah, this is one of the unfinished ones… It hurts me so much that I haven't given it an ending yet, but I really do plan to! It's just not a quick task. c!Loudduo my beloveds. <3

candlelight - Probably one of my best (finished) works honestly: the mandatory Syndicate c!Dream fic. There's a lot I'd change now but I'm glad that I wrote it and that people resonated with it so much!

the new plan - It's cool that this one blew up so much! It's a little random. My fic for an event about c!Dream and c!Punz about a year ago.

in porcelain and steel - Just a little collection of my c!Dream drabbles.

good authority - I didn't expect this one to be on here! My first ever fic, just a short c!Dream and c!Slime oneshot. I really want to write more of their duo at some point.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I think it's something I told myself I'd do early on. If someone takes the time to read and appreciate my writing, I want them to know that I appreciate them too.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooh, that's a hard one, because I haven't finished writing (or even started posting—) most of my angstiest fics. Am I allowed to say hallow the foul? I have the ending planned and it's not happy.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

If we're talking about longer fics, probably phantom pains? "Happy" might not be the right word, since the plan is literally to continue down the road that's destroying c!Dream's life, but uh. He's pretty excited about it!

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

I don't think I ever have! Y'all are the sweetest.

9. Do you write smut?

Nope, not my thing.

10. Do you write crossovers?

DSMP is definitely my main interest, so I haven't really felt the need to.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of? (Please let me know if you see this happening lmao.)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but it sounds cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Not yet… I've kind of taken on a hundred fandom projects at once, so it's not my priority right now, but it sounds like something really fun I could do in the future, if anyone's willing. There are so many amazing writers in this community.

14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

I don't really do romantic ships, sorry. But for platonic duos, c!loudduo forever.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

hallow the foul 😭

No, I WILL. I might have to drag my face through several miles of mud to do it, but it will all be worth it. (Just please don't hold your breath.)

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Probably dialogue? That's what I get compliments for lol. I've watched so many hours of streams that I think their voices are baked into my skull.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Am I allowed to say not finishing projects ajskhdhkj. Otherwise, I guess maybe my internal monologue? I think some of my writing is a little boring, a little clunky in places, but I often just don't have the willpower to fix it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't really understand the question but uh, sure!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

DSMP. Lol.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

It depends. I love hallow the foul for sentimental value but I also slightly hate it. I'm proud of candlelight but I kind of keep forgetting I wrote it akjshdk. Genuinely, I think it's probably triquetra! It's really important to me. (That's not counting any of the hundreds of wips y'all don't know about yet.)

~

I won't tag anyone specific—if you want to answer these questions then you can say I tagged you!

#elm ask games #random elm thoughts #elm fics

[madsworld15]

Been doing a lot of thinking these last few days. Read: I’ve been doom spiraling, and when I do that, my brain thinks about Ryan Kelley.

TL;DR: One fan's bond with the actor Ryan Kelley.

My friends, and Twitter followers know the story but I want to write it out here so I can always go back to it when I’m feeling down on myself.

I first met Ryan Kelley at HowlerCon in NJ in 2015. That year it was my first ever con so I was beside myself anxious. However, I got a photo op with Ryan because I’d loved him for years, since he was in Prayers for Bobby. That photo op didn’t turn out well, but I was proud of myself for actually doing it. That whole weekend I barely said ten words to him.

So, 7 months later in June 2016, when I saw him again at HowlerCon, I really expected Ryan to not recognize me at all. Instead, he grinned really big and said he was so happy to see me come back. He asked me for my name and smiled really big as he repeated it back to me. I had a meet and greet with him later that day, so we parted ways.

At the meet and greet, I was given the opportunity to ask a question. I asked him how hard it was to get into character for Bobby considering how morose the character always was and what ultimately happened to him. Ryan was so generous with his response and seemed genuinely happy someone had asked him about this movie.

At the end of the meet and greet I approached him directly and asked him if I could hand him something I had written for him. He told me sure, and I scrambled in my bag to find the letter. As I handed it to him, I conveyed that I was grateful he answered my question about Prayers for Bobby since it was such an important film for me. He returned the sentiment saying it was one of the most important roles he has ever done.

Later on that night, there was a party where the cast and fans could dance together and have a good time. I went, despite my anxiety, and I ended up finding Ryan on the edge of the crowd just watching. I was about to leave myself, having already used up all my social spoons, but a part of me told me I should go and talk to him. So I did. We ended up having a wonderful conversation about observing the world around us and about being from big families. He talked a bit about how his parents adopted a ton of kids, and I talked about how I had been adopted myself. Something shifted between us that day, and whatever the cause, I'm grateful it did.

The next day at his autograph session, he asked me if I was feeling better today. Then he held my hand as he signed for me, and I explained that I had anxiety which sometimes got in the way of me enjoying things. For the first time ever, Ryan wrote me a message on the image he signed for me, and he thanked me for coming.

HowlerCon convened again in June 2017, which was billed as being the last one. It made sense, considering that, at the time, the show was coming to a close. When they had announced their guests for that final year I kept waiting and waiting for them to announce Ryan's name. He was a staple for the con. So I knew he'd be attending, but as more and more got announced, I was certain he wasn't going to make it. But then, on April 21st, the con announced he was one of their Bonus Guests. I didn't see the announcement initially, but one of my con friends tagged me in a tweet response, saying they just knew I would be beside myself with that announcement.

I was excited, but then a confluence of events happened in my personal life that pushed that con completely from my mind until a few weeks before it was scheduled to happen. I bought all the photo ops with Ryan I could afford (resulting in a total of 3 different poses) and an autograph ticket along with a ticket to his meet and greet.

That year, I was excited and sad all at the same time. Ryan and I had many opportunities to talk and joke. His presence was a balm that I desperately needed at that time, considering the insanity of my life. He never once judged me for things I said or did, even if I bet more money than I should on an auction for a bobblehead of his character. When I didn't win the bobblehead, he asked his handler to come find me in the crowd and come up to him. He then hugged me and told me he appreciated the support I always showed him.

That year, I asked Ryan to write out the words: Be Your Own Anchor so that I could get them tattooed on me for my birthday. (A few months after this con, I did just that.) He joked that he wasn't a fan of tattoos himself, but if that was what I wanted, he would do it. Since I had two autograph tickets, Ryan also signed our photo op and wrote me the following message:

So glad I got to spend this weekend with you. XOXO (his signature)

Then, over the next couple of years, I would post something on Instagram related to him or Parrish and tag him, and he would like the post or comment in some way. I even remember sending him a message on Instagram during one of my low grief periods after my Pop died and when my Nana was dying of cancer. He responded and basically told me that I mattered and I wasn't a nobody.

Then came the COVID-19 lockdown. I had an excess of money because I was getting the government stipend while also being on unemployment because daycares weren't able to open during that time. So, when an auction came up to have a 15-minute Zoom call with Ryan, I leaped at the chance and won the auction.

When he came on the screen, he told me. "Let me ask you questions since I'm sure you don't have any for me." So, our conversation centered on my job -- which at the time was working for daycare and my TV critic side gig. He was very interested in my TV critic gig and I admitted to him that I reviewed his Christmas movie. He asked me who paid me to watch it.

All in all, it was a great time, and then the next day, the organizers of the event asked me for my Twitter handle. I assumed it was for promotional reasons, so I gave it to them. The next day I was driving home from work and had pulled over to get gas when I saw I had a notification that Ryan Kelley had followed me. Then a few moments later, he sent me a message letting me know that my positive attitude about the stuff we were going through really inspired him, and he was grateful that we got the chance to connect again.

I didn't talk to Ryan much over the next few years, an occasional message back and forth on Instagram or Twitter, but nothing major. Then Howler Reunion happened in June 2022, and I realized there were some things I had to tell Ryan. For one, in the time since we had last spoken I had come out to the world as non-binary and had changed my name. I knew he would be very gracious about it all, but still, I worried.

It came to the day of my duo photo op with Ryan Kelley and Linden Ashby. I had decided I would come out to both of them because my bond with Linden had always been like he was a father to me. So, I wore my Asexual pride shirt and my non-binary colored flannel and hoped for the best. My dear friend Lori, who helped run the con, went with me for moral support.

I don't remember exactly what I said to them, but I do remember that I told them afterward that this photo op was a "Pride" one so they could act proud of me. Linden reassured me that there was no acting necessary because he was proud of me. Ryan just squeezed me close to him in a side hug. Seeing the photo result, I am forever grateful that I chose to come out to Ryan because the way he looks at me in this photo is hard to describe, but gives me so much comfort to this day.

The rest of the weekend went by in a blur. I do remember at my individual photo op with Ryan he asked me to explain the reasoning behind my new name. He said he had always been able to remember my old name because it was the same as his mom's and that I reminded him of her in personality and my kind nature. (cue the tears seriously) I explained to him the history behind my adopted name and how I wanted to keep a piece of that even with a more gender-neutral name so I had shortened my middle name to what is now my first. I then explained to him that it was so wonderful hearing him say my new name out loud because I felt like he was an extension of my family and that no one in my immediate family had been willing to use it yet, at least not at that point. He looked so concerned for me that my own mom wasn't being respectful at the time, and he pulled me into another hug.

That afternoon there was a final panel with the whole roster of guests. We could stand at the mics and ask questions if we wanted to, but I just wanted to thank Ryan one more time for his kindness. So, I did.

Later on in the panel, the guests were asked about a project they've done that they are so proud of. Ryan got on the mic and talked about how he knew one of his projects meant the world to a couple of his fans, and then he found me in the crowd, and we locked eyes, and it meant the world to him to know that because it was a project, he was extremely proud of himself.

Then, later on, we had an autograph session and his handler, a new one from previous years, looked up at me and asked my name. Ryan grinned and said, "Don't need it. Mads and I go way back." Then he gave me a wink and said Mads again. I told him that it had been an extremely rough time for me since the Summer of 2018. And that it helped to have my tattoo, which I then showed him, that he'd written because it reminded me to stay grounded. Then, Ryan grabbed my arm, covered my tattoo with his hand, and looked me in the eye.

"I know you think you needed me to be strong. But you are strong all on your own. It's inspiring."

I then handed him a custom Funko Pop I had made of Parrish, and he got emotional and thanked me for such a beautiful gift. When we said goodbye, I told him that I was grateful for all the kindness he had always shown me and that I would miss him. At the time I was certain we would never see each other again because I couldn't afford to travel to Europe where he frequents cons on the regular.

"This isn't goodbye. You are stuck with me for life."

I know Ryan was being kind and probably as honest as he hoped to be but I know despite our shift in bond, Ryan is still an actor and I'm still just a fan. But, our bond is definitely unique and one of a kind.

There are some days I still look at the evidence in front of me and believe that I made it all up in my head. That none of it ever happened.

#ryan kelley #fan interaction #teen wolf #conventions

[radiohead-spiderman]

hihi! i found your blog a few days ago and to sum it up I FEEL SEEN. i joined the marauders fandom a little while ago and read the powerpoints, other peoples takes on the characters, seen videos, and posts, and am currently reading atyd but, some of the things i’ve seen kinda just irked me?

and then i found your blog and all of a sudden i kid you not a beam of light enveloped the room, LMFAO I FELT SO HEARD AND SEEN and your posts are so well written and outspoken -something i could have never even try to do. i’ve seen people literally be eaten alive in comments if someone disagrees with a certain popular opinion or ship and that was insane to me like, ISNT THIS FANDOM MAJORITY MADE UP??

anyways thank you for being the beacon of hope <3

(also the one thing that really struck me wrong was the obsession of mlm in the fandom? like they’ll pump out mlm ships and characters i’ve never heard of WAYYY before they remember the women in the fandom. like?? i wanna see more dorlene stuff and a canon complaint lily fic from her perspective! women are so complicated and beautiful i just wanna see some representation and justice for them. for a fandom that preaches representation they really do forget all the women they’ve created. they all make them seem like they’re getting in the way of the mlm ships. for example, marlene being sirius, “crazy” ex, lily getting in the way of jegulas “a bitch”, mary never having a personality other than being pretty -LIKE??? anyways id love to hear your thoughts on this)

A BEACON OF HOPE??? Sobbing and sliding down the wall

ANON this is the sweetest thing I’ve ever been told oh my god, I’m crying that is so sweet, ahrhfbfb, this is genuinely so sweet anon <3

As for the obsession with mlm thing, I feel like every fandom has their fair share of that, usually it’s just fetishization but honestly, while I could be wrong I do feel with the marauders fandom it’s only partly that(there is definitely fetishization though don’t get me wrong)a part of it I think stems from misogyny/internalized misogyny, but I think a lot of it is a part of this fandom’s inability to write certain things, that being non one dimensional women, and sure sometimes you come across a gorgeously written post, but for the most part, the women, even if they’re not written as cartoon villains, never have that much depth, like Lily for example, she could be a main character aside Regulus in something, but she’d never as developed as Regulus, her flaws are easy to fix/easy to understand(and that’s IF she has any). I feel like a part of the fandom thinks that putting Lily in a different relationship and calling it a day with no expansion on her character besides “hot BAMF queen”, is somehow different that making her a cartoon villain, when they’re both basically the same.

I think it heavily stems from misogyny and just not being able to write women with flaws, (of course it’s not just a problem with the lack of flaws in women but I won’t get into that right now lol)

Hopefully this was well worded I’m sleepy :D

#also to add it does definitely stem from fetishization as well #the few gems in this fandom are just MWAH though #also thank you anon I cried reading that #edit tag: I think the inability to write non one dimensional women also falls into the issue of labeling the women as just parts of the men #like Marlene being the girl version of Sirius for example #a part of this fandom has a problem with writing women as an extension of the men

[the-midnight-cow]

it's going to be a long time until i'm able to write a post abt the barry finale, but i do want to talk about some of my favorite things about the show as a whole. no spoilers here :)

-> THE ACTORS!!! especially sarah goldberg who has literally changed my life <3 the range of emotion, nuance, and passion with which they all acted made it so fucking compelling and as both an actor and a fan of barry, i couldn't have asked for a better cast -> the character arcs- they're messy, they're imperfect, they're not tied up, no one is ever fully redeemed. and I find that beautiful. in the most "good" characters, there is darkness and flaws, in the most "evil" characters, there are humane desires and care. so many of the characters are objectively unlikeable, objectively extremely screwed up, and yet, we remained watching to see how their character arcs developed, week after week because of the brilliant way they were written. -> the cinematography. i think i could write an entire thesis on the nuances with which the creators used cinematic tactics to further their story tbh but i will keep it minimal. one of my favorite things about this show is their use of sound (or, non-use). in the most intimate moments in the show, there is not background music (in fact, sometimes there's not even sound). you are forced to remain intimately within the moment, almost uncomfortably so. hearing the characters cry, breathe, struggle, die... whatever it may be, you are forced to remain immersed in the scene until it feels unnerving, creating that trademark tense mood barry uses so frequently. i also continuously admired the usage of the classic "show don't tell" technique, in that we aren't shown many of the extremely important moments (i'll probably elaborate on this in another post) this story, while messy and upsetting, is so very intentional, and genuinely one of the best created shows i have ever seen. from watching the first three seasons in less than 7 days to following along with each new episode for these past weeks, it's been a wild ride. bill hader, you're insane, and thank you.

#barry #barry hbo #rambles

[objectshowopinions]

ii s3e14 came out so here’s my opinion . heavy spoilers btw

it was actually pretty fucking good. a new favorite episode, in all honesty. I might be a bit biased though because my two faves had decent screen time.

it had its problems, sure! I think the tonal switch of SS was kinda disappointing, and just didn’t feel right? then again he could just be in denial. And the Nickloon dynamic felt confusing and weird and off.

for the whole ‘springy’ thing, it felt out of place. at first. But I had to look past it because it was actually really fun? It was a nice metaphor for so much in the show, and I’m a sucker for that shit. gimme metaphors baby I’ll eat em up

the whole past coming to haunt the characters was disturbing in such a wonderful way. the robot fakes were scary - it was delightful. Watching characters confront their past? Ow.

Now, here’s the main thing I enjoyed - Cabby and Bot. I think they were written fairly well, both in themselves and how they interacted.

Now, I’m a shameless Cabby enjoyer, I admit. I like her a lot for the memory issues, as established in e12. I have them too, and how it was handled in that scene was gorgeous. I had hoped (but didn’t expect) the issues to be elaborated on. But they were!! It was so exciting.

And Bot? They didn’t know. Bot was self conscious, and tried to trick Cabby into writing down false information. They didn’t want to be labeled! They didn’t want to be written down! And that’s totally valid.

So the whole “I’ll only tell you if you don’t write it down” thing. That was gorgeous. Cabby respected Bot in that way. Which was wonderful! and then “what if I forget?” / “I’ll tell you again.” Do you understand what that means? Do you understand the emotion behind that? Do you get it do you hear me?? THATS THE MOST IMPACTFUL THING EVER. AUUH

And then. And then. Bot asked Cabby about her parents. It’s weird cause I don’t think anyone is confirmed to have parents, but that simple question almost does? And then Cabby’s response. “I don’t know if it’s a memory thing, but -“ It shows how you never quite know if you can trust yourself with memory issues. Augh do you HEAR ME!!! GUYS MAKE FAMILY OCS FOR THEM NOW PLS!!!

other than that, though? Kinda mid. Glad that nickloon talked but they didn’t do well and that was kinda,,, ew,,, ss and yinyang also ew,,, but it wasn’t like, awful. Mid but not horrible.

BUT BUT BUT. MePhone. We didn’t see him much but like, he was there. I think it was a great missed opportunity that they didn’t mention C/bs, (the corn guy sorry I can’t say his names it’s a. thing) it felt very deliberately mentioning it. How ‘you enjoy your past’! Like WHAT ARE YOU SAYING YOU JEEBWEZER. did he make himself forget again?? hello?? But the ceo was also mentioned recently in like e10 I think like WHATS THE SITCH THERE…

but. But. Springy very clearly was referencing them being robots. Even if it was mostly about Bot, it was also definitely a jab at MePhone. And we can see how MePhone is effected. When Bot was eliminated, he was genuinely sad, and even asked for them to be his cohost. He cares for them. (He might even think of them as something similar to MePad?) He was very clearly impacted too, because he said something like “our best contestant was eliminated” LIKE. LIKE. THE ROBOTS IN THIS SERIES ARE INSANE!!!

and floory straight up eating springy was hilarious. N/A appearing was also a delight.

all in all: my faves got screen time and were written well so I liked the ep, but the sad part is everything else was kinda bad

thanks for coming to my Ted talk 👍

#ii spoilers #ii #ii3 #ii 3 #inanimate insanity #inanimate insanity invitational #iii #adamation

[ellecdc]

oh no omg babes i am the anon who asked about hockey i would never block you!!! firstly, i think its really cool (way cooler than me and my hockey habits, but if that's what i get for being only HALf canadian and not having as extensive of a hockey culture in the states :() that you keep up with the non nhl teams, i know usually its more personal and more fun to cheer for the more local teams, and also those dudes literally shred harder than the nhl sometimes! genuinely jealous of u there! also i literally don't have any legs to stand on in terms of nhl elitism (and also as a canadian, my entire canadian family is from alberta so 🙃). my teams are the sharks (literally foul) and the oilers. also you definitely are more plugged into hockey than i am babes i am very casual and random with my watching/supporting. for the lack of response, i just haven't been on tumblr as much this week (and i have adhd, which is mostly to blame) so i completely forgot i sent u an ask! also this ask has literally taken me several hours to draft so like, embarrassing on my end in terms of timeliness. you are valid and cool for cheering on the leafs (go leafs!!), but you are also much more than whatever sports team you like, i follow you because you are literally a wonderfully amazing person full of kindness and insane talent, and beyond the fact that i have literally nothing against the leafs. i am literally in love with u so i think the only thing that would make me block you is if you turned out to be a secret mass murderer or something (which seems highly unlikely so we are good there). i'm truly sorry if my lack of response made you feel uncomfortable or sad about sharing something about yourself, that was genuinely the exact opposite of the intended effect. because i enjoy reading both your stories and replies so much, and also value you as a person so much, i wanted to know more about you and other things you like! and i am really grateful and thankful that you did share about your hockey likes, and also grateful you continue to be so open with us. you have singlehandedly made me the most involved in a fandom community that i have ever been because you have created such a wonderful and welcoming atmosphere on your blog. so again sorry, and thank you for being so freaking cool. OMG i almost forgot about the hockey headcannon thing, as soon as i sent that last ask i was like why didn't i say anything about james and sirius they would absolutely gobble hockey right tf up. mayhaps it would be a bonding/truce between them and barty lol. ig the barty brainrot got to me too much (that fucking smut rattles around my skull so much you'd think i have rattlesnakes living in it. i refuse to believe you have never written smut before the remus fic. you're simply lying). anyways, sorry this is so long, but tldr is that i love you and you are amazing and you could never do anything wrong 🩷🩷🩷

omgomg omg ok I'm gonna respond to this in bullet points:

I was totally taking the piss im ngl; I didn't think you actually blocked me or assume that you were hating on me! I'm sorry hahaha I was making fun of myself really like "typical....cant even make friends properly because I have shit taste in hockey teams" 🤣

oof Alberta - thoughts and prayers my girl (gender neutral), Alberta is Canada's Florida

it's too bad about the oilers too because they have some really great players? but they suck just as hard Toronto, such a shame

"i follow you because you are literally a wonderfully amazing person full of kindness and insane talent, and beyond the fact that i have literally nothing against the leafs. i am literally in love with u so i think the only thing that would make me block you is if you turned out to be a secret mass murderer or something" ok so......what are we? 🥹🫣🤭😘 jk but you're literally so sweet; I'm sorry I made you feel like I was made/upset/offended or, worse, displeased with you cuz I'm soooooooo not and you don't owe me anything - least of all your time or effort in sending me messages 😭 -> also definitely not a mass murderer; far too lazy and don't like the mess, also, I'd likely break a nail - no thanks.

no apologies necessary at all babes, I'm a yapper and loved talking to everyone about it too and was just running my damn mouth

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo love you literally so much, thanks for being here and also for taking so much time to write to me; it's greatly appreciated <3

#ask elle #elle fumbles